Garry's Mod Vs. Equestria 2: War in the North

There was a sharp rapping at a door near me, followed by an annoyed, "Wake up!"

I started at the voice with a yell and a crash as I bodily left the bed I was lying on and landed on a nearby table. I thudded my forehead into the sharp edge and sent a lamp crashing to the ground, where it immediately shattered into hundreds of tiny shards... That I then fell on. And I yelled again in pain.

There was another angry banging at the door. "You better not be messying things up in there!"

I arched my back up and away from the shards of glass and let out a pained yell. "Fwuuuaaaaaahh-ha-ha! Why?!" I rolled off the murderous pieces of glass and stood up to brush off my back and ass. "Jesus fuck!" I exclaimed. "Since when is glass so sharp?!"

The door opened, but I ignored it in favor of trying to de-glass my naked backside.

I brushed off what I could, but there were others that got stuck deeper by my efforts. So those I had to painfully yank free from my flesh. "Stupid, lousy, no good... Who puts a lamp next to a bed?! Stupid people?!" I removed a particularly large shard when I noticed that it wasn't glass, but a very fine crystal. It looked vaguely like quartz, only darker. But the pain in my body urged me to continue removing the crystal splinters , not study them. That was why I didn't register her appearance until she spoke.

There was a slight gasp a few feet from me. "Look at what you did!" the voice scolded. "And who do you expect to clean all that up?! Surely not me?!"

I jumped again from the sudden berating and paused my splinter removal long enough to look at the source of the voice. I saw a mare. An older mare. Her coat was a light grey, and her hair was a dull silver color. Unlike the others of her kind though, she had no horn. And her eyes... If looks could kill, I'd have been lying dead on the ground foaming at the mouth. I stared dumbly into her angry glare. "Uh... Wh- what?"

She clicked her tongue a few times and shook her head slowly, as if disappointed. "Typical Human," she muttered. "You're in the temple for not one day and you're already wrecking the place. I don't understand what that girl saw in you, but by the Winter, if you think you can just waltz in here and make my temple a pigsty..." She snarled, much like a wild animal. "Boy... you've got another thing coming."

I stood there, completely forgetting about the crystal shards in my skin, and stared at the mare in front of me. It took me multiple seconds to fully register what she had said. When I did I responded as best I could. "... What?" I was at a loss for words. I'd stared death itself in the face countless times and laughed. I'd wrestled diabolical deamons to the ground with my bare hands and hunted huge, magical dragons with nothing but a measly bow and my wits. I'd fought off entire armies, single handed. I'd swam through lava, jumped from mountains, navigated trap-filled temples and explored monster-filled caves. I've done all this and so much more, and I've never once felt fear for even a split second. And yet... staring into this mare's eyes... I felt more afraid than I could ever remember feeling before.

She rolled her eyes and trotted over to the bed, making it look pristine in seconds. "You aren't too smart, are you boy?" she asked as she finished folding the covers perfectly.

I blinked as I slowly regained my senses. "Uhm... where am I?"

She cast me a disparaging look before fluffing the pillows with her hooves roughly. "You're not even going to introduce yourself first? Ugh, typical Human; crass, crude and all around uncivilized."

I blinked again. "O... kay? Well, may I ask your name, ma'am?" I tried, trying my best to sound proper.

She cast me another look, this time a curious one with an eyebrow raised. " 'Ma'am'?" she questioned. "Never heard a Human use that one before. You may call me Missus Steel, or Mistress Steel, or 'Ma'am' will work just as well." She finished with the pillows and stared at me expectantly. After a few seconds she cocked an eyebrow again. "Well?" she asked impatiently.

I jumped from the harshness of her voice. "Uh... I... What?"

She scoffed and rolled her eyes again. "Is that all you say, boy?" she scolded.

I opened my mouth, about to say it again, but decided against it. Instead, I thought of something better to say. "I'm not sure what you're expecting from me Missus Steel," I told her, carefully enunciating each syllable.

She shot me another glare, and I figured out why her name was Steel: when she glared it felt like I was being pierced by a sharp blade. "I told you my name, so now you tell me your name," she explained in an overly slowed fashion, like I was a simpleton.

I made a silent O of understanding and quickly tried to think of something. I couldn't use my real name... but I could use a good, strong name to make myself seem impressive. I answered with, "Erak. My name's Erak." I made a small bow with my shoulders. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

She looked from my face downwards. "It looks like it," she remarked with a small smirk.

I looked at her, confused. Then I followed her gaze downward... downward... and right to my morning wood. I quickly covered myself by grabbing one of the pillows and pressing it against my crotch. "Oh God I'm sorry! I didn't even realize that it- I mean I- It's just that you're- I..." I hung my head in shame. "I'm sorry," I said lamely.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes again. "Oh, don't fret now, boy. I'm not some rosy-cheeked little filly. I've been around the block a few times, and I've seen more than a few cocks in my time."

I snapped my head up in shock, eyes wide and mouth agape. "Wh- what?!" If I wasn't already feeling awkward, I certainly was by then.

She rolled her eyes again, but this time it was more for humor's sake. "Winter's sake boy, is that all you say?"

I just stared dumbly at her.

Once again, the eye roll. "Well, I suppose you don't have to be smart when you're hung like that," she mused aloud. "I'm surprised you could even fight with that monster between your legs."

I stared in utter horror at the mare in front of me. "You're very blunt, aren't you?" I asked while slowly shaking my head in amazement.

She seemed to think about it for a few seconds before nodding her head. "Yes, I suppose I am, aren't I?" she said in a thoughtful tone. But with a quick shake of her head, the smirk and humor was gone. She was back in business mode. "Enough chat, boy. You need to get washed and dressed. Umbra wants to see you in the Lounge."

"The Lounge?" I questioned. "Where's that? And where am I?!"

She opened a small wardrobe near the door and tossed something my way. "Umbra will answer any question you have." She stopped then. "If she feels like it." Then she opened the door and gave me one more quick glance. "I wouldn't keep her waiting if I were you, boy." Then she walked out the door and closed it behind her. Now... it might have been my imagination, but I could have sworn she was sashaying her hips at me in a rather provocative way as she left.

I stood dumbly for a few seconds just shaking my head in wonder at that strange mare. Eventually, I scoffed to myself, "I like her." I looked at the thing she tossed me. As I inspected it, I saw that it was a very light, crystally blue robe. It was unbelievably smooth, and it was cool to the touch. I also noticed it was just barely long enough to cover me. "Damn pony clothes..." I muttered as I sat down on the bed. I then screamed an exceptionally foul curse, as I remembered, much too late, that there were still quite a few broken lamp shards in my skin.

After removing the last of the lamp shards, a quick wash--in an uncomfortably small shower--and slipping on my pony robe I left my temporary room. But, old habits die hard. I decided it was time I stopped fooling around with swords and medieval bullshit; as much as I liked it, I wasn't in a position where I could afford to lose a fight. I was slowly dying, in enemy territory, mostly naked, and I wasn't sure if I was able to respawn or not.

I spawned the Glock from FA:S 2, the Tritium sights, and a silencer. I afforded myself around two hundred shots. I wanted as many bullets as I could hold, but not so much that it progressed my death timer.

I made to change my player model to get myself some actual clothes, but I remembered that I had to die in order to actually change my model. So unfortunately, I was stuck in the skimpy robe.

With my Glock in hand, I cautiously made my way through the maze-like halls of wherever I was. I couldn't help but admire the decor of the place as I explored however. For a race of ponies that spoke in a "Ye Olde English" accent, the paintings and woodwork looked surprisingly... Oriental. Like this place was a Chinese monastery from ancient times. There weren't any pictures of dragons or koi, but in their place were dozens, if not hundreds of pictures of grey pony warriors. And as I got a good look at some of them, I couldn't help but be reminded of Samurai. Evil Samurai, but still...

I wandered aimlessly for around ten minutes before I actually realized that I had no idea where I was going. When I came to this realization I couldn't help but smack myself for being an idiot. "I didn't ask for directions..." So as I had no idea where to go, and even less of an idea of where I was, I began doing the only thing I could think of: opening doors at random until I found a way to either escape or the Lounge.

I opened the first door I came across only to find a broom closet. A little further down the hallway was another closet, this time filled with blankets. Another door got me a closet filled with towels and toilet paper. A closet with robes exactly like the one I was wearing, a closet filled with firewood, a closet filled with silverware. Every door I opened seemed to be another closet. And each one was filled with something stranger than the last. There was a closet filled with rubber bands, another one with nails, another with bottles of soap, one with toothpicks, one with dolls, one with board games, one with broken sunglasses, one with torn scraps of paper, one with dirty napkins, one with seashells, and even a closet filled with small toy badgers with hollowed out eyes, each with a paper label around its neck with a name written on it. They were all named Roger.

I blinked in confusion and closed the closet with a sense of creepiness at the last one. "Fucking weirdos."

I came to another closet and opened it with a sense of dread. That sense of dread turned into a sense of discovery rather quickly though once I saw what was inside. The entire closet was filled with dildos--for both genders. Each shelf contained a different kind. It started with "Pony" on the top shelf, then Donkey, Mule, Zebra, Dragon, Minotaur, Diamond Dog, Changeling, and finally, Human on the bottom shelf. I couldn't help but notice that one of the Human shafts looked slightly moist.

I closed the closet with a mildly disturbed look. "There's no reason anybody needs that many..." As the closet clicked shut I heard something to my left. A pair of voices. It sounded as if it were a male and a female voice, but I couldn't be sure. I gripped my Glock tighter and crept closer to where I heard the voices coming from. As I got closer I could hear what was being said. It was definitely a male and a female, and by the sounds of it they were up to something not appropriate for children.

The door was a simple wooden one, the same color as the wall. If I hadn't heard the two inside, I would have easily mistaken it for a slightly off center panel. I placed my fingers into the hollow and yanked it open. In the same moment it banged open, I raised my pistol and took aim at the couple making out on the bed. "No magic!" I barked. "If I see one spark I'll paint the wall with your brains!" Although that was a pointless threat I realized, as I saw that neither of them had a horn immediately after making it. But still, I couldn't change my threat. It would kill the mood.

The mare shrieked and pulled the covers over her. The stallion also shrieked--louder and higher than the mare--and fell of the bed. "Please don't kill me!" the stallion yelled. "Take her! Take her and let me live! Please!"

The mare gasped and glared at her lover. "Excuse me?!"

"Shut up!" I ordered. "Both of you!"

They both obeyed.

I glowered at the stallion. "Where's the exit?"

He flinched away from my voice. "T- th- there is no exit!"

"Of course there's an exit! I got in here somehow, so there has to be at least one door!" I pulled back the hammer. "Tell me. Now."

"Okay! Okay!" he whimpered, covering his face with his hooves. "There is a way out of the temple."

"And?!" I yelled.

He "Eeep!"ed at me. "Umbra controls it! She can open it and close it with magic!" He looked at me with a very unstallion-like expression. "I've told you all I know! Don't kill me! Take her! She's not even my marefriend! Take her and let me live! Plea-he-he-ease!"

I scoffed at the very unmanly stallion and looked to the mare. "Do you want me to shoot him? Or would you like to kill him yourself?"

She looked from me to the begging stallion. "No, don't kill him," she said with a deadly glare towards him.

The stallion smiled at her.

Her glare intensified. "I want to kill him myself."

I nodded. "As you wish. But before I go, could you tell me how to get to the Lounge?"

She looked back to me with a perky smile. "Sure! Just go down the hall and take your second left, then a right. You can't miss it!"

I gave her a slight bow with my shoulders. "Thank you."

She smiled brightly. "No problem." Then she turned to the stallion. "Now for you..." She was practically growling.

I left the room and made my way down the hallway. I followed the mare's directions until I came upon another door. Unlike the door to the couple's room and the closets, it was large and easily noticeable. It was also labeled "The Lounge" at the top.

I looked at the door. It stood tall and strong in my way. It was the only thing between me and Umbra. The only thing blocking me from getting out. The only thing between me and my revenge. I put my hand on the door, my pistol ready. "On three," I whispered to myself. "One... THREE!" I slammed the door open with a loud crash and dove into the room. I rolled on my shoulder and came up on one knee with my Glock pointed straight forward. "Get some!"

The serving mare blinked. She looked cross eyed at the end of the silencer attached to my Glock. It was pressed against her muzzle, scrunching her nose in a rather adorable way. "Uh... Hello... Can I get you something to drink?"

I opened my mouth to shout something about the male anatomy but froze half way through the process of speaking. What did she say? "You wouldn't happen to have any whiskey, would you?" It was the only thing I could think of, as my brain seemed to have shut down.

She looked from the silencer to me. "I think we have some in the back. I'll bring it right out." She then turned and trotted away, casting me one last strange look before disappearing behind a counter.

I slowly righted myself and looked around. There were around twenty grey ponies bustling about the room; some were carrying trays of food and drinks, others were taking orders, and a few were tidying up the room. All of the serving ponies were mares, whereas the cleaning ponies were stallions. All of them, mares and stallions, were lacking the red curved horns though. However, the ponies that were sitting at tables and eating the food that the hornless ponies were serving had horns. More than that, some of them had weapons with them.

My observations were cut short however, by a throat being cleared. I looked towards whoever it was calling for me and saw her. Umbra. Sitting comfortably at a table, sipping on a colorful beverage with a tiny umbrella in it. She beckoned me closer with a hoof.

I looked around me at the grey ponies with weapons. At first glance, they looked calm and relaxed, just eating and drinking. But as I looked a bit closer I could see that they were tensing whenever I stared too long, and some of them watched me out of the corner of their eye. I had just blundered into a trap.

I muttered hushed obscenities as I cautiously walked over to where Umbra was sitting. I kept my pistol ready the whole time, but deleted the silencer. At this close range, I needed the extra stopping power should something happen. I sat down on the pony sized chair directly across from her. I scowled at her as she just looked at me, sipping her drink. She looked at me almost like a child looks at something new and interesting. I was the first to speak. "What's to stop me from killing you and everybody in this room?"

All of the warrior ponies tensed up around us. I could feel the friction in the air.

She swallowed her mouthful of drink and smiled coolly at me. "The fact that if you you'll never leave this temple alive," she said, almost sweetly.

I scowled harder at her. I could feel my finger twitching, brushing against the trigger. God I wanted to kill her... But I couldn't. I needed to leave this damned place if I wanted to complete my mission. "Where am I?" I asked. Might as well start simple.

She nodded sagely. She probably expected that one. "You are in the Temple of the Iron Ponies." She took another small sip of her drink. "And right now, were inside of the highest mountain in the Northern Equestrian tundra. Nothing but snow, ice, rocks, and barren wasteland surround this place for a hundred miles in every direction." As she finished she looked very pleased with herself.

I raised a brow. "What exactly is an 'Iron Pony'?" I asked. "Are you some kind of religious cult set on world domination? Or are you just in it for the murder?"

She made a face at my bitter tone, but continued to hold an air of superiority. "No, we aren't a religious cult. It's just what we are; our race. Like pegasi are pegasi, and unicorns are unicorns. And as for what I want... I just want what is rightfully mine."

"And what is that?" I asked, taking the bait she so obviously left.

She smiled at my question. "I want the Crystal Empire, and all of its ponies. I want my throne again. I want my crystal mines. And I want to be a power in the Equestrian Council again."

That... Well, honestly, I should have seen that coming. "How is the Crystal Empire rightfully yours? I barely know anything about this place, and even with my limited knowledge I know that the Crystal Ponies have always lived there. Well... before you enslaved them all, and the Empire vanished from the face of the planet."

She looked at me strangely. Almost as if she were searching for something. "Do you really not know?" She sounded almost surprised. But what could she be surprised about?

I shrugged. "There's a lot of things I don't know about this damn place. Considering how I've never been to this part of Equestria, I'm pretty sure I have no idea what you're talking about."

She made a face at me. "But you're a Human. How could you not remember?"

I frowned in confusion. "Remember what?"

She began to speak, but quickly stopped herself. "Never mind it. It's a story for another time." She closed her eyes and took a quick breath. When she opened her eyes again she was more collected, like when I had first sat down. "Now is not the time for a history lesson. Now is the time to talk about the future. For me, and for you."

I once again scowled at her. "The only future I'm interested in, is one that involves Celestia and Luna dead." Then a dark thought crossed my mind. "Or at the very least, totally and utterly powerless, serving my every desire as my very own pair of slaves." I laughed humorlessly at the thought. "I'd fucking love to pin Celestia down and ruin that pretty face of hers. Luna too." I chuckled darkly. "I can think of a few good uses for those mouths other than talking."

After a few seconds I realized I was staring at the table with a malicious grin laughing to myself and cleared my throat. "But, yeah. I don't care about anything unless it involves Celestia dead."

Umbra looked at me with a beaming smile. "That's exactly what I was hoping you'd say," she purred. At my questioning look she continued. "You see, as long as Celestia lives, I'll never be able to reclaim my throne. And, unfortunately, my powers have been severely weakened from my separation from the Crystal Heart. So I need warriors to help me. Warriors like the ones you see around you. Warriors like you."

"Like me?" I parroted.

She nodded. "Exactly like you."

I worked my jaw side to side for a few seconds while I thought about it. Sure, it sounded pretty legit; I get to kill Celestia and she takes over. But the thing was, I would be able to kill Celestia anyway, without her help. All I had to do was shoot her in the face and I'd likely be free to go. But that wasn't a surefire bet. If I killed her and I was stuck, I'd be screwed. "What if I say no?" I asked her.

She scoffed gingerly at me. "Then I would simply kill you. Or force you to obey me. Your body is full of my magic, and if I wanted to I could just make you a mindless minion."

My eyes widened slightly. "Wait... When did that happen?"

She gave me a superior grin. "When you first got here," she said coolly. "Remember when the blood of my vanguard got absorbed into you? You saw things and heard things? Well, that was my essence entering you." She chuckled at my horrified expression. "Yes, from the very beginning I could have easily killed you. But I didn't. I saw in your mind what you wanted. And I saw just how deadly you are, given the proper motivation."

I clenched my jaw and gave her the most hateful look I could muster. "So... I guess I don't really have many choices, do I?"

She chuckled again. "No. You don't." She sighed happily and sipped on her drink once more. When she finished it she looked at me for a long time. She looked utterly pleased with herself. "So, will you fight for me willingly? Or will I have to take away your mind?"

I snorted. "If I say yes, that's hardly willing."

She perked up. "So you will?" she chirped.

I looked down. Down at my pistol. How many shots could I fire before I was overwhelmed? I took a deep breath. All I'd need was two. One for her... and one for me. But Celestia would still be alive, gloating over my corpse. She would still be laughing at me.

I looked up at Umbra with a hateful expression. "The second Celestia's dead... you're going to release me."

She flashed that superior smile at me again. "Or what?" she mocked.

I placed the pistol on the table and leaned forward, getting right in her face and looked her right in the eye. "Otherwise you'll be ruling a kingdom of ash."

For the first time since I walked in there, she wasn't smiling that gloating smile. She looked frightened.