Twilight Sparkle Dates A Peach

by Just A Fabulous Cat

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 939

Cupid got drunk on Hearts and Hooves day. That's all I have to say.

Cupid got drunk on Hearts and Hooves day. That's all I have to say.

Written For Stories That Don't Exist But Should

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-04 16:20:02 UTC

That is a sexy peach...

Cupid clumsily aimed an arrow at Twilight Sparkle. "Perfect." He shot it at her. He then looked around. Who should she fall in love with. He saw a peach on the ground. "There we go!" He shot his other arrow at the peach. "There ya go miss Twwilight Spaarkle!" He yelled. Twilight heard this and spun around. When she saw Cupid she could have screamed.

"Oh sweet Celestia. Are you drunk?" She then looked around to see the arrow in her butt. "Who am I supposed to fall in love with!?" She yelled. Cupid pointed to the peach on the ground. "Oh no....but that is a very sexy peach...."  Twilight picked up the peach with her magic and stared at it. "This is a very very sexy peach!" She yelled. "You and I have a date!" She then walked off to tell her friends the exciting news. Cupid hiccuped and flew off. He planned to make Celestia fall in love with the bench outside of her castle.

Twilight saw her friends gathered around her castle. "Hello friends!" She yelled. "So you got my letter concerning  me and Peachy?" She yelled. Applejack spoke.

"Is this a joke or have ya finally gone mental?" Applejack yelled. Twilight looked offended.

"I am in love with this peach!" She yelled. Applejack face hoofed. All of her other friends stared at her with shock.

"So...you are dating a peach?" Rainbow dash said. Twilight nodded.

"Just look at how sexy it is!" She yelled. She then raised the peach up for everyone to see. It had ants on it and a dark spot. Fluttershy nearly puked.

"Well you can got enjoy your date while we...erm..call Celestia concerning your mental health!" Rainbow dash yelled. All of her friends then ran off to the nearest house with a phone.

"Jerks." Twilight mumbled. She then looked at the peach. "Come, Peachy!" She yelled. (She really liked yelling. Peachy thought it was sexy) "We have a picnic in the park!"

Celestia was siting on her throne playing with her mane when she heard her phone ringing. She picked it up. "Princess Celestia is very busy. Please leave a message after the beep. Beeeep!" Just as she was about to hang up she heard Twilight's friends yell.

"TWILIGHT IS IN LOVE WITH A PEACH!" Celestia couldn't believe this. Twilight was supposed to date her! It was an outrage. She hung up the and galloped outside. But Cupid had been waiting for her he had already shot an arrow at the bench so all he needed to do was get an arrow in Celestia. He aimed then fired.

"Owww!" Celestia screamed. She looked up at Cupid. "Oh my..." Cupid just pointed to the bench. "WHAT! I AM A PRINCESS! I CANNOT FALL IN LOVE WITH THAT BENCH!"

"Hey! I'm *Hiccup* Cupid and I want you to love that bench!" Celestia looked at the bench.

"That is a sexy bench...."

Twilight stared at the peach. It was such a lovely peach. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you.." She mumbled. She then leaned in for a kiss. All the ponies in the area stared at her with confusion. A reporter quickly snapped a photo of her then ran off. Twilight didn't care. Peachy and her were all that mattered. Twilight then heard mumbling behind her. She turned around. Celestia was holding a bench in her magic and was trotting up to her. She also had a ring on her horn. ]

"Benchy has proposed to me!" She yelled. Another reported snapped a photo and ran off. All the ponies in the park questioned their princesses' mental health. Twilight couldn't believe this.

"You are marrying a bench?!" She yelled. Celestia glared at her.

"You are dating a peach." She retorted. Twilight shut up. Soon Twilight's friends all ran up to the princesses. When they saw the scene they all face hoofed.

"Oh come on!" Rainbow dash shouted. They couldn't believe this. "Do all princesses go mental?!" Reporters began to fill up the park and surround the princesses.

"Celestia, what made you fall in love with that bench?"

"Twilight, do you plan to purpose to that peach?"

"Twilight, what made you fall in love with that peach?"

"Celestia, what made you say yes to Benchy?" The princesses couldn't take it anymore.

"SHUT UP!" They yelled in union. The reporters instantly shut up. Celestia then teloprted away with Benchy while she could. Twilight did the same leaving her friends behind. The reporters then looked at Twilight's friends.

"Oh no..." Applejack said.

"BRACE YOURSELVES!" Rainbow dash yelled as the reporters flooded them with questions about Twilight and Celestia. Twilight was at home. She decided to take Peachy up to her bedroom. When Spike saw this he packed his bags and decided to move to Fluttershy's house until Twilight became sane again. Celestia began to set up wedding arrangements while many of her guards began quitting. Cupid had regained his sanity and saw what he had done. He had to fix this before people began to suspect him. He knew just what to do. He teleported to Celestia's castle and burned the bench.

"BENCHY!" Celestia screamed as her one true love burst into flames. Cupid then teleported to Twilight home. She was now downstairs with peachy in the kitchen. When he saw the peach he shivered. It was creepy. He quickly grabbed the peach reluctantly and threw it out the window.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Twilight screamed as she cried. There Cupid thought. I may have traumatized the princesses but at least they wont be dating peaches and benches!