Band of Five Attributes (Re-Written)

Somewhere, in a very dark place echoing with falling drops of water into puddles and ponds and less discernable noises, a gleaming set of dark blue eyes made itself known to the world. Then, a jagged smile belonging to an insane psychopath came next. A sinister masculine chuckle permeated the darkness surrounding the apparent owner of the eyes and mouth.

Then, a set of sky blue eyes appeared, and they too shimmered in the dark, dank depths. Another set of crimson eyes followed suit, though this set also came with a fanged smile of its own.

A small fire appeared before the sets of eyes and mouths, revealing a trio of unicorn ponies. One had a gold pelt, one had a pelt of near white, and the last had a moderate blue about him with a dark blue mustache on his muzzle. The mare amongst them also had a sick smile on her face, though not as apparent as those of the stallions she had accompanied.

The blue stallion looked at aforementioned mare and the gold unicorn. His wicked smile thinned as he spoke, “Raki, Maki. What do you two have to report?”

“To be blunt, sir,” Raki, the blue unicorn, started with a visible pouty frown on her face, “the monster I called forth was bested...in around three shots of that damned crossbow.”

“And what monster did you summon?” The blue stallion asked, eyebrows twitching downwards as he turned to Raki.

The mare gulped hard. “It was a...the only words I can use to describe it would be ‘centipede train.’” She answered.

“And just how was ‘that damned crossbow’ able to best it in three shots, exactly?” The gold stallion asked, eyebrow raised.

“It...grew to the size of a house and the bolt was also affected by the growth…” Raki answered again, ears flat on her head. “I’m not sure how it happened, it just did.”

“Bah! To think they can still...URG!” The blue stallion complained, eyes narrowed low as he stomped a hoof in frustration. “The sheer thought of those weapons they have drives me bonkers! Maki, what do you have to say?!” He barked, now looking at the gold stallion.

“I have good news, and I have bad news. Which do you want to hear first?” Maki asked, a neutral look on his face as he spoke.

“The good news, obviously.” The blue stallion answered quickly.

“Well, I’ve seemed to have outdone myself here. One of the brats has a broken hind leg that will be utterly useless in the course of the next few months, give or take a few days with the nurses and such. Another had glass shards in her face, and was out cold just long enough for me to…” Maki paused, chuckling in a way that his voice reeked with pleasure in atrocity, “...have some fun with.”

“Hmm? You really seemed to be enjoying yourself lately, and now I understand why.” The blue stallion replied, a smile making a comeback on his face. “Do continue.”

“It gets better: another brat has a useless front leg, and the other two made a friend in a former mobster. Said mobster was the only casualty...so far.” Maki said, face beaming with another fanged smile.

“Excellent. Now, what’s the bad news?” The blue stallion inquired.

“I am not sure what happened on the train I had boarded, but it seemed to have lost control in a way the carts went everywhere. I teleported out, but was still unconscious myself for a few minutes or so. In addition, the train wreck had stirred up a lot of attention. I feel that the longer the brats and their guardians stay alive, the higher the chances of us getting found out happens.” Maki replied, sighing.

“If it makes you feel any better, one of the brats told the apparent leaders of this so-called Equestria--same one we happen to be standing in--about us. I had to recall my monster simply because it was three against one. Fortunately, he didn’t know very much about us--a plus on our part.” The blue stallion said, smiling.

“And the one I dealt with said almost nothing.” Raki said, also grinning.

“Perhaps we should lay low for a few days? The leader made a petition or something of the sort to report ‘unusual occurrences’ to what is pretty much her militia.” The blue stallion said, now frowning and with flattened ears on his head.

“You mean the royal guard nonsense, Baki?” Maki asked, eyebrow raised.

“I’d call them otherwise if they didn’t all look the same! I am beginning to think the leader is some kind of disguised Nazi!” Baki barked, glaring at his fellow pony for a brief moment or two.

“On second thought, you do raise a point.” Maki replied, sighing once more. “Hardly any variation in the branches apart from races.”

“Races? What do you mean?” Raki inquired, eyes widening a bit.

“We have horns. I’ve seen some ponies with wings, and others without either. That is what I mean by race: either unicorns like us, pegasus ponies of the militia, or earth-dwellers like those annoying pubescent brats we deal with.” Maki answered, sighing yet again. His head dropped, but only a little bit.

Raki processed his two cents for a few moments before it clicked in her head. “Oh, I see.” She said.

Maki raised his head, and he held his chin high with an almost ecstatic smile on his face. His eyes were nearly closed as if in a dream, and his horn crackled to life with very faint traces of magic. He even sighed contently in the process.

Baki turned to the gold-pelted stallion, a jagged smile on his face once more as his face darkened. “I assume we are fantasizing again?” He said almost tauntingly.

“Who wouldn’t?” Maki jabbed back, his grin slowly twisting to something from a nightmare as he spoke. “In fact, I wish my session was longer. Then, I could do so much more.”

“Now, now, let’s keep our sick little fantasies to ourselves and focus on the topic we got sidetracked from.” Baki said, his own twisted grin still plastered onto his face as if an addendum for a mausoleum.

“But that’s no fun!” Maki said, his voice holding an unusual mixture of sarcasm, happiness, and anger within. His smile faded just a little bit, but not enough for it to turn into a frown. “I didn’t even get started with my list of fetishes!”

“Oh, do silence yourself. We all have our fantasies--do you see Baki and I running around shooting our mouths off about X fetish and using Y object to apply to Z pony?” Raki asked, a sort of sadistic hue very heavy in her tone of voice. She rolled her eyes as if to further mock her fellow unicorn.

“She has a point. Now, where were we?” Baki asked, grin fading into a small smile as he spoke.