Band of Five Attributes (Re-Written)

The sun had set at last, giving way to the night. The unicorn who was still being held by the horn groaned, crossing his forelegs and letting a scowl adorn his face. “Oh, you’ve yet to hear the end of it.” He murmured, a vein appearing on his cheek as his eyes narrowed low.

“Hm?” Discord hummed, a brow arched.

“I want to punch you.” Rekka sighed, pointing the accusing hoof right in Discord’s face. It was mere inches from the tip of his nose.

“As do I.” Nagare agreed, raising a foreleg as he spoke.

“Ditto.” Tenmei stated, huffing like a bull.

“Can I go first?” Yuuki asked, ears flat on her skull.

Discord’s eyes widened. “Why is that?” He asked, brow still arched.

Koto groaned in annoyance, a vein now adorning her cheek too. “He’s STILL not aware of all the messes he’s caused by dragging us here?” She asked, an eyelid twitching.

“Seems to be the case, sadly.” Nagare answered, his face darkening. “So...who gets to shoot their mouth off first?”

“I’m not gonna.” Tenmei stated, crossing his forelegs now.

A boomerang hit Discord on the face. He turned to glance at Koto.

“Oi, you. Mare in the cage has a few words to say to you.” Koto said, pointing a hoof at Yuuki for emphasis.

Yuuki’s eyes narrowed very low at the chimera once he looked at her.

“How much do you have to say?” Discord asked, brow still arched.

“A lot,” Yuuki started, still glaring at the opponent who defeated her and her companions, “in a nutshell.”

“Well, then spit it out. I haven’t all day, woman.” Discord pointed out, grinning again.

Yuuki groaned in annoyance. “Got raped two, maybe three, times by the same stallion and had to get an abortion afterwards.” She said quickly.

Discord blinked. That series of images playing out in his mind were rather worrisome.

“You should’ve seen the looks on our faces when she told us she was pregnant.” Nagare confirmed, his blood beginning to boil over again.

“Oh dear.” The chimera said, turning his attention to Koto. “What do you have to say?”

“Me and Rekka--stallion you still have by the bloody horn--were jailed and forced to screw each other out cold.” Koto said quickly, her face starting to turn red.

“In fucking chains too.” The stallion added, his face also turning red.

Discord blinked again. “Oh dear.” He repeated, now frowning. “And...all of you are pointing hooves at me? Surely, you must be barking up the wrong tree.” He added.

“We aren’t barking up the wrong tree, pal.” Rekka sighed, eyes still narrowed.

“Well, the messes you’ve found yourselves in after I came along and brought you here aren’t my fault.” Discord quickly pointed out. He did in fact have a solid alibi on his part.

“Can we punch you just for dragging us here then?” Nagare asked, his eyes gleaming in a sparked fire.

Discord thought it over for a moment. “Sure, but don’t bruise me too much. Fluttershy would throw a fit if she saw the injuries.” He said.

“Why would Fluttershy...care about you?” Tenmei asked, brow arched. The sheer concept of that shy pegasus caring for the chimera who started all of this completely baffled him.

“I was about to ask the same thing.” Yuuki commented dryly, a brow of her own also arched.

“She became my friend after my reformation, simply put.” Discord answered. “She would not like to see her friends hurt, would she?”

“I can see the logic in that. Fair enough.” Nagare sighed, eyes closing as he spoke. He did have to admit the chimera had brought up yet another valid point, as if he were throwing alibis right into his face in physical form.

“Ahem,” Tenmei started, catching Discord’s attention, “You’re still holding me by the hair...can I be put down now?”

Discord sighed, and he begrudgingly released the lot from his claws, tail, and makeshift extra arms. They landed on their hooves, save Yuuki, who lay on her stomach because her legs fell asleep, and Koto, who was already on her hooves to begin with.

The purple pegasus waited for her legs to get much-needed circulation back, and when she was able to stand at last, she sighed in annoyance.

And then, a total of five times, Discord got punched by each of his adversaries. Two landed in his gut and three hit him in the back, but he seemed little fazed by it. That brown coat of feathers he had on his body appeared to have cushioned the blows delivered by the ponies.

“It takes a lot to simply get me on my knees. Being a draconequus has its advantages.” Discord said, once more grinning.

“Dracone-what?” Koto asked, brow arched. She thought for a mere moment Discord spoke gibberish.

“My species, dear. Draconequus.” Discord reiterated, still smiling. “Now, I shall take you all home, but please work on your coordination. Even the Element bearers did a lot more better than you could, and with so little to boot.”

With that, Discord snapped his fingers, and before they knew it, a bright flash occurred. When it faded, the group found themselves back in their living room. Kaguya was at the table, slowly bringing a foreleg down from her face.

“Did you manage to beat the chimera?” The elder mare asked.

“No. Quite the opposite, actually.” Nagare sighed. “He said we needed to better our teamwork.”

“I see.” Kaguya said, blinking a few times.

Yuuki rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. “I think I need a painkiller.” She said.

“Hmm?” Kaguya hummed, brow arched.

“I flew face-first into the ground, and then got an anvil dropped on me. I’m amazed I’m still alive.” Yuuki answered, still rubbing the back of her head with her hoof.

“You’re jesting, right?” Kaguya asked again, eyes widening. She’d never heard of an anvil being dropped upon someone, and that same someone living afterwards.

“I saw the anvil vanish before it could kill her.” Rekka confirmed with a nod.

That explained why Yuuki was still amongst the living. Kaguya nodded again, as if she understood the whole thing. “Ah. Well, I’m about to hit the bed.” She said, getting up and trotting to the stairs.

“Why? It’s not even sunset yet...is it?” Tenmei asked, brow arched.

“While you guys were gone, a little something called daylight savings time ended, and night came round.” Kaguya replied quickly.

“Wait...what day is it?” Rekka asked, eyes widening.

“I think we arrived...sometime in mid-July…” Nagare murmured, his eyes also widening.

“Right now, it’s early November. The second, I believe.” Kaguya sighed. “If you want, I can show you guys the bloody calendar.”

Koto took the opportunity to look outside. The world was dark, but not so dark she couldn’t see the houses and trees beyond the one in which she stood. Little white specks danced outside the window, and a thin blanket of the stuff had already covered the ground.

“Why’s it snowing in November?” Koto asked, blinking.

“I’m not sure.” Kaguya replied.

“I hope Discord didn’t fuck with the time…” Nagare sighed, crossing his forelegs together. “As for the snow, I blame Cloudsdale.”

“The time didn’t get screwed up. I think the battle is getting to your heads.” Kaguya replied again, this time sighing once more. She then finished trotting up the stairs and went to her room. Everyone else, save Rekka and Koto, followed suit.

Silence had overtaken the house, but only for a moment.

“Koto,” Rekka started, ears flat on his skull, “we need to talk.”

“Hmm?” Koto hummed, brow arched. She turned from the window and to the stallion, tilting her head slightly afterwards. “About what?”

“Could you follow me into the kitchen? I’m starting to get paranoid.” Rekka stated, turning around and making his way to the door beyond the table. Koto obliged, brow still arched, wondering what it was he wanted to discuss with her.

The door opened, and the two strolled inside. The door was closed in short order, and the stallion turned to face the mare.

“Um...what did you want to talk about, exactly?” Koto asked, now genuinely confused.

Rekka sat on his rump, rubbing the back of his head with a hoof. A light sweat made itself known on his frame. “You remember that night, right?” He asked.

Koto nodded, a faint blush quickly adorning her face in a second. “Yeah?”

“I don’t know how exactly to tell you this, but…” Rekka trailed off, biting his lip nervously. “That condom...kinda broke.”

Five seconds of silence passed. Then ten. Fifteen. It felt as if time suddenly froze on the spot. Koto stood there, registering the words of her boyfriend.

“It...did what?” She asked finally, eyes widening in surprise. She sat on her rump as well.

“It broke.” Rekka repeated, eyelids slanting as if he were ashamed. “Go ahead and hit me now for not telling you about it.”

Another few seconds of silence passed, time feeling frozen once more.

“Are...you serious?” Koto asked, unable to keep her mouth closed after. It hung ajar as she continued to stare at the stallion in growing disbelief.

“Yes. I took the thing to the bathroom faucet, and found it had a leak.” Rekka answered once more, biting his lip again.

More silent seconds passed, then they turned into minutes.

Koto spoke again, her voice breaking the silence, “I’m...not going to hit you because it broke.”

“Come again?” Rekka asked, brow arched.

“If it broke, then it was beyond your control.” Koto replied with a soft sigh. “It would be irrational of me to hit you for something you couldn’t help.”

Rekka’s eyes widened. He was very much expecting Koto to hit him with all her might and start yelling at him, and had instead received the complete opposite.

And then she smacked him across the face with a hoof anyway.

“That was for not telling me sooner.” Koto remarked, eyes narrowing briefly. She sighed afterwards, letting her eyes relax until she had a mask of emotionlessness on her face. “I’ll visit the doctor sometime next week and have them run a test on me, and we’ll take it from there. Sounds like a plan?”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Rekka agreed, rubbing his cheek with a hoof of his own.