The Gala went as smooth as butter that night, although it mostly consisted of talking to nobles and the princesses. The element bearers did stick around (as did Raki, Harry, the vultures, trashcan, and lightpost) though, so it wasn’t all that bad. Most of the nobles were wary, considering five foreigners still had their weapons should the need for them arise.

After the Gala officially ended, everyone went home, and the air did feel a little warmer in spite of the snow-laden landscape.

The door opened, and everyone strode inside with small smiles on their faces. 01 glanced at them, with Kaguya asleep on his back. The mare snored and mumbled, her legs twitching a bit as she slept. The trashcan tried its best to enter quietly, but since the bucket trapped within was still hellbent on raising a fuss, it could do little against not making any noise.

Raki groaned, horn lighting up as her magic grasped the lid. She peered within, glaring at the bucket who was now red in the face. She summoned more ropes to hold it perfectly still, and an additional sock to jam into its potty mouth. After that, she replaced the lid and sighed.

“What in hell was making that noise?” 01 asked, brow arched.

“There’s a bucket with legs. It’s caused too much trouble in Cloudsdale, so I hear. The bucket will be dealt with later.” Raki answered, sighing again afterwards.

“Ah, I see. Very well, then. I’ll go ahead and take sleepyhead to bed--it’s pretty late.” 01 said before yawning, unable to cover his mouth with a hoof without threatening to arouse the sleeping mare on his back in the process. He made his way upstairs with slow but steady movements, and Kaguya continued to mumble as he went.

The five dressed ponies waited until they were certain Kaguya had been tucked in bed before they trotted up the stairs themselves, heading to the rooms and delicately removing their outfits before placing them into the dresser drawers. They then tucked themselves into bed and were out like lights in an instant.

Raki sighed, watching as 01 came back from the stairs. “Where are Mimi and Mimu?” She asked, noting she had not seen the two fillies since she came back.

“They’re in bed, like everyone else. I’m about to hit the hay myself.” 01 replied, covering his mouth as he yawned. He too trotted upstairs to get some sleep, and the unicorn followed with her minions in tow, readying herself to hit the hay as well. Before resting her head on the pillow, she looked at the trashcan and lightpost for a moment. “Don’t cause trouble. Keep an eye on the house and alert me if anything happens.” She said.

“What of Mr. Grouchy?” The trashcan asked, pointing a leg at its lid.

“Set him next to the bed. Make sure the ropes on his body are secure. He’ll be dealt with in the morning.” Raki answered before resting her head on the pillow. She too fell fast asleep. The lighpost pried the trashcan open and did as asked regarding the bucket, making sure the ropes were as tight as could be and whatnot.

The lid was placed back on shortly thereafter, and the trashcan exchanged glances with the lightpost. Both shrugged at one another before a third object shone a light directly in their faces. It had the body of a flashlight, legs poised at the sides, and on its little head was a horn. Its eyes worked like the headlights of a car, as did the mouth when opened. It giggled, the voice akin to a young filly, as the two taller object-ponies glared at it.

That dual glare caused the flashlight’s smile to turn into a frown. It drooped its head as best it could in shame. As the flashlight frowned, its light dimmed just enough to pass off as a lookalike of moonlight.

“Just keep quiet. We’re in a full house, and we don’t want to awaken anybody. Got it?” The trashcan scolded in a whisper.

The flashlight gave a quick nod.

Dawn had graced the land, and everyone--trashcan, flashlight, and lightpost included--was at the table. Sitting on the middle of the wooden piece of furniture was the bucket, who was now sweating lightly as it eyed everyone currently surrounding it.

“What did he do?” Mimu asked, pointing at the bucket when she noticed everyone else gave it nothing short of stone-cold glares.

Nagare slammed his front hooves on the table, causing the bucket to look at him whilst jumping in shock. “Quite a lot.” He answered curtly, eyes narrowing further. The bucket shook, feeling as if the pegasus had been staring right into its soul.

“From what I hear,” Yuuki started, spreading her wings, “it all started when this thing here stole a few Wonderbolt outfits and dumped them who-knows-where.”

01 arched a brow and blinked a few times. “Why would the bucket steal Wonderbolt uniforms? Heck, is there even a reason behind the supposed thefts?” He asked.

“Not that we know of. But the list doesn’t end there.” Nagare replied, shaking his head briefly.

Raki made a piece of paper appear from nowhere as her horn began to glow. She levitated it to her face and sighed. “I think this bucket...just wanted to be the biggest jerk Cloudsdale had ever known.”

“So, the little dwarf needs to be dealt with. Fair enough.” Kaguya started, clapping her front hooves together once.

“It has blue legs and a blue face. Kaguya, we’re looking at a mutated smurf here.” Yuuki pointed out, using a hoof to point at the bucket for emphasis.

“Would Koto be a smurfette?” Nagare stated, grinning faintly.

“HEY!” The blue unicorn shouted, turning to the pegasus with a vein appearing on her cheek. “Last time I checked, I wasn’t three apples high!”

“Reserve your anger for the jerk standing on the table.” Raki sighed, looking over the piece of paper again.

“Aside from supposedly stealing uniforms, what did this bucket do?” Kaguya asked, forelegs crossed together. One brow was arched.

“Let’s see here: calling ponies names, cursing at every opportunity, raising a fuss and getting complained at for his attitude, at least three instances of vandalism, harassment of the weather team, filling itself up with hot water and pouring the contents on sleeping foals as young as three weeks old--” Raki started, only to notice a purple hoof poke her shoulder before directing itself at 01.

“Did...you say pouring hot water on sleeping foals? As young as three weeks?” The stallion asked, an eyelid twitching.

“That I did. I assume the parents weren’t too happy about that.” Raki answered with a nod. “Continuing where I left off: back-talking and then stabbing royal guards with their own weapons when they tried to address his problems, somehow drinking excessively and raising an even bigger fuss, yanking out wing feathers from several citizens and more guards, and dirtying the halls of the Wonderbolt Academy by filling itself up with rainbows from the weather team and purposely spilling those pretty much all over the place.”

“Someone as big a jerk as he is--metaphorically speaking--deserves an equally big asskicking.” Rekka stated, putting his front hooves together. He began to pop his neck for a bit before grinning deviously.

The bucket’s face, not the rest of its body, turned to the unicorn. Its eyes widened, pupils shrank to dots, and sweat was on its frame. “Not the face, not the face!” It cried.

Author's Note

Jerkwadishness is now a word.

~Dragon