“The fuck? Is that what I think it is?” Rekka thought before hearing a masculine voice shouting.

“Freeze!” The voice cried, causing the lightpost to revert to all fours and turn.

“Ah, great. Just when my day couldn’t get better.” Rekka thought before trying to get past the crowd to see what was going on.

“What are these things?!” Cried another voice.

“I have no clue! Detain them, at once!” Yelled another.

“What of the mare?!” Hollered a third.

“Take her in for questioning, but only after we deal with these freaks!” Wailed a fourth.

“I am not a freak!” Objected another voice.

“Someone tell me what this world has come to, please?” Rekka thought, shaking his head sadly. Again, he tried pushing past the crowd and, to be blunt, failed for the third time. It was almost as if they were statues.

“What the?! How can something with two legs run so fast?!” Caterwauled another voice. A sort of clanking and snapping sound resonated through the area, though briefly.

“Last time I checked, everything ‘round here had four legs with rare exceptions present. What’s he on about?” The stallion thought, sighing as though he were about to give up on seeing the whatever-it-was that had been happening.

“I may be down, but I’m not out just yet!” Cried a feminine voice.

“That voice! It couldn’t be?!” Rekka thought, eyes wide in shock and mouth nearly dropping open.

“Get down! You have no idea what it is you’ve gotten yourself into!” Yelled a masculine voice.

“So says the know-it-all who’d seen a walking lightpost for the first time in his life.” Rekka thought before a grey hoof nudged him on the shoulder. He turned his head, broken out of his stupor, to find Paladin Blade looking at him with concern.

“You look like you’d seen a ghost. What’s the matter?” Blade asked before a pony clad in police uniform was sent into the crowd, knocking many on their bellies and stomachs. This made an opening for the two, and Rekka decided to take the opportunity to finally see what the flying hell was going on.

What a sight met him, for he was now seeing a purple mare dash around a lightpost-pony hybrid coiling a small string and what looked like a yoyo around at the hind legs of the beast. It tripped and tried to rise up on its front legs, only to wail in defeat once it had turned around to face the purple mare and vanish from the world.

Paladin approached Rekka again. He noticed the red stallion was eyeing the mare as she had a small chit-chat with the cops and led them to an alley.

“Why are you interested in that girl?” Blade asked, concern in his voice and a brow arched.

“That girl happens to be one of my friends. We have to follow her.” Rekka replied before going en-route to the alley the mare led the cops in. Paladin followed suit, and both stallions noticed the last cop taking a left. They followed as well, making sure to keep quiet to avoid suspicion.

Then, the cops were talking about something for a few moments before shouting “You’re under arrest!” Hooves beating against concrete resonated through the alleyway and quickly faded into an echo.

“I’m not sure what’s going on, but we need to follow them pronto.” Rekka hissed before following the sounds of hooves hitting against the concrete. Paladin followed, and both found a larger alleyway...with a white pegasus in gold armor strung up to a normal lightpost by chains, rotting away from the world as he hung.

“Shit.” Blade scowled, eyes narrowing at the sight of the pegasus. He approached the pegasus and sat on his rump before removing his helmet with his only front hoof. The unicorn was like that for a moment before replacing his helmet and rising up onto his three legs and makeshift cane. He turned around, only to find Rekka looking to his right.

Both stallions started moving that way, only to find the police ponies had already overpowered seven bald stallions with handcuffs and whatnot. Some of the officers who lacked horn and wing stayed close to the purple mare.

And then a building shoddily built rose up, growing two forelegs and a head with a horn. It had a cigar in its mouth and a felt-tip hat. It looked at the group in the alleyway and roared.

“Damn!” Rekka hissed as he kept approaching the group with the unicorn in tow. The purple mare was looking at the building intently, as if she noticed something odd about it.

The mare sighed and was just about ready to use her weapon once more when a hoof tapped her shoulder. She turned around to find a red stallion (who sat on his rump) and a grey unicorn looking at her.

“Rekka?” Asked the mare, eyes widening in shock.

“Who else would it be, Yuuki?” Asked the stallion before looking at the building with a pony’s head and forelegs.

“What in the name of the flying spaghetti monster did you do to your leg?!” Yuuki cried, bewildered once she had seen the damaged leg. Her pupils shrank to tiny dots. “We have to get you to a hospital!”

The monster’s horn began to glow, and the teens--as well as Blade--were hoisted up into the sky in an aura of crimson.

“I ain’t going to a hospital while this thing’s on the loose!” Rekka protested, flailing his good three legs briefly before noticing that there was a strange, orange pearl about the size of the end of the cigar sitting perfectly on top of the monster’s hat. He pointed his hoof at the beast and aimed the cannon carefully. Then, his other hoof moved and pulled the lever back.

A gunshot rang out right then and there, and the monster found itself recoiling in pain, its aura disappearing and causing the teens and unicorn to rocket down to the alleyway they were scooped up from.

One of the police unicorns saw this, and his own horn began glowing in response. Before the free-fallers could land to the ground, they were gripped in another aura that held them mere inches above the concrete.

The monster roared in pain and anger as its horn crackled to life once more, and this time its cigar flew out of its mouth encased in a crimson aura.

“Oh great, what’s he doing now?” Yuuki asked, looking at the cigar as it levitated over the group.

Then the cigar suddenly exploded into a thousand or so miniature copies before they rained down on the lot on the alley like arrows from Hell. Many of these cigars missed, but those that did hit the ponies had caused them to wind up with burn marks and screeching mouths. The unicorn police shielded themselves, the three-legged pony, and the criminals with magic barriers.

“Dono yō ni kare wa sore o shita ka?! [How'd he do that?!]” Yuuki cried as one hit her on the base of her tail.

“Fakku nan?! Bānzu wa, anata wa rokudenashida!! [What the fuck?! That burns, you bastard!]” Rekka yodeled as a few of the things hit him on his hurt leg. Pain rushed throughout his body, and his eyes widened in response.

Another cigar appeared straight out of nowhere and it was lit before being tucked into the corner of the monster’s mouth. Then, it pointed a hoof at them mockingly...before it morphed into a tommy gun.

“Ni kami Ohaio-shū!! [Oh god no!]" Yuuki and Rekka screeched in unison as the tommy gun began firing its rounds like a hailstorm. Many of these rounds, due to the gun constantly moving as it fired them, had missed. One, however, landed in Rekka’s hurt leg and made him screech in pain, and another barely grazed Yuuki’s left ear.

“Wa ̄ ! Sore wa hontōni kizutsukeru anata ga kirainahito!! [Ow! That really hurt, you asshole!!]” Rekka hissed, nearly collapsing from the overload of pain he was experiencing. He could barely stand now, and if there was any chance for him to use his weapon, then that opportunity simply flew out the window.

Yuuki looked up and saw flying shapes overhead, wheeling over the monster without even the monster itself realizing it. And those shapes appeared to be hauling what could best be described as airborne carriages.

“What in the world?” She asked, blinking a few times with an arched brow.

Author's Note

Brackets used for translation purposes.