1 - Working out the kinks (Prologue)
Thursday 26th March 7:34PM
Dear Pinkie Pie,
I’m not sure how to open up with this. It’s my first letter, and I’m not entirely used to how this works. You told me to send you details regarding my parties around Equestria. I’ll happily do that, but Boneless Two doesn’t seem to react much. Does the letter magically emerge? And how do I send it?
I’m sorry, but I don’t understand. I’ll try to insert it into Boneless Two’s mouth, but otherwise I’m confused.
Yours truly,
Cheese Sandwich
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Thursday 26th March 7:39PM
Dear Cheese Sandwich,
Thanks for writing! I got your letter from Boneless. Twilight used her fancy magic to turn Boneless into a mailbox too! We have matching sets! Thanks again for giving me Boneless by the way, that was really sweet of you.
I’m guessing since I got this letter, that you managed to send it. I saw the look on your face when the letter suddenly vanished, and then you jumped back. I couldn’t help giggling, sorry about that. In case you didn’t know, I’m currently watching you from the upstairs of Sugarcube Corner. You haven’t even left Ponyville yet!
Why don’t you come back and I’ll help you out? When you get this letter, look up at Sugarcube Corner, and you’ll see me waving.
Also, can I call you Cheese from now on?
Pinkie Pie xx
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Thursday 26th March 7:40PM
Dear Cheese,
Did you see me waving? I saw you see me! Hi again! Come back ok?
Pinkie Pie xx
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Thursday 26th March 8:25PM
Dear Pinkie Pie,
Thank you for helping me out there. I was afraid there for a moment. I’ve now left Ponyville, ready to carry on my travels. I’ll definitely write to you about the parties I throw. I’m sure you’ll be very interested in what I have to share.
...Actually, I’m getting something now. Hold on a second.
Whoa, that was certainly something. My cheesy sense went a-tinglin! It seems my next destination is Canterlot. Guess I’ll have to catch a train to get there.
Go ahead and call me Cheese, I don’t mind. By the way, what is up with the time at the top of the letter? Did you write it?
Yours truly,
Cheese Sandwich
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Thursday 26th March 8:28PM
Dear Cheese,
Ooh, Canterlot sounds great! I hope you’ll have a great party. I’ve been there a few times, and I’ve thrown a few parties on my visits. Did you know I threw the party for Princess Cadence and Shining Armor’s wedding? It was super special, except for those mean changelings showing up. They almost ruined everything!
I bet you’ll like Canterlot. Rarity says it’s filled with high-class unicorns though, so you might want to organise something a little less Pinkie and a bit more fancy. I wish they’d liven up though. Who doesn’t love a good party?
Dashie still thanks you by the way; she won’t stop jumping around my room shouting out how epic her birth-iversary was. She wants to remind you how awesome her day was thanks to you. I think we really made a birthday she won't ever forget. We should do another joint party again sometime.
You know, you don’t have to end with ‘yours truly’ every letter. You can also call me Pinkie, if you’d like. I don't mind.
I don’t get the time flicky thing either. I didn't write it. Twilight said a whole bunch of science-y mumble stuff, and she said something about these letters having an ‘automatic clock’. I don’t know what that means, but I assume it’s good.
I look forward to hearing about your Canterlot party!
Pinkie Pie xx
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Thursday 26th March 10:01PM
Dear Pinkie, ~~Pie~~
Sorry about that error, I remembered after making the mistake. I haven’t reached Canterlot yet. I’m currently on the train there, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what you meant regarding the ‘high class’ aspect. Could you possibly clarify more on that?
And what is a changeling?
~~Yours tru~~ Sorry, made a mistake again.
Cheese Sandwich
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Thursday 26th March 10:10PM
Dear Cheese,
Cheese you silly filly. You don’t have to be sorry about making a silly error.
What I mean is, Rarity says the unicorns that live in Canterlot prefer the more fancy things than we Ponyville ponies do. Princess Cadence didn’t want one of those, so it was a regular Pinkie Pie party when I was there. I don’t exactly know how much of a difference you'd have to make, but I get a tingly feeling that using your party howitzer might not be the best idea.
You don’t know what a changeling is? They’re nasty, mean bugs that feed off of love. They almost ruined the royal wedding of Princess Cadence and Shining Armor! They can change their appearance to mimic a pony, so you wouldn’t ever know if your best friend is one! You shouldn’t see any in Canterlot though. We got rid of them all.
Hang on a moment. I think Dashie is acting a bit suspicious. She might be a changeling as I look at her. I need to check this out.
Pinkie Pie xx
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Thursday 26th March 10:15PM
Dear Pinkie,
I’ve thrown a Canterlot party before, but it wasn’t what you seem to be describing. I guess I’ll ask around once I arrive, and I’ll take into account your party howitzer suggestion.
Those changelings sound horrible. I’ve never heard of them, but they sound bad just from what you wrote. I’m glad you saved the day, I presume, seeing as how you mentioned they ‘almost’ ruined the wedding. I’m guessing it all went better than excepted.
I’m pretty sure Rainbow Dash isn’t a changeling though. I’ve never met one, but she doesn't strike me as the type to feed off love, or copy another pony's identity. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Cheese Sandwich
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Thursday 26th March 10:18PM
Dear Pinkie,
I’ve just went through a few minutes of thinking, and I really, really have to persist the idea that Rainbow Dash is NOT a changeling. Don’t worry about it.
Cheese Sandwich
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Thursday 26th March 10:25PM
Dear Pinkie,
Are you there? You’re starting to worry me Pinkie. Suggesting that Rainbow Dash is a changeling, and then not writing to me for ten minutes. Please don’t do anything rash. Again, I don’t think she would be one, and I ask that you not do anything you might regret.
Cheese Sandwich
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Thursday 26th March 10:28PM
Dear Cheese,
Sorry about that. You were right, Dashie isn’t a changeling. It took a lot of Pinkie Pie measures to get her to fess up, but I did it!
I’m sorry for making you worry so much. Be sure to let me know when you’re in Canterlot!
Pinkie Pie xx
2 - Isn't it Fancy Pants? (Canterlot)
Friday 27th March 9:45AM
Dear Pinkie,
I’ve formally arrived in Canterlot, and I’ve browsed the scene. It’s a lovely city, though a bit too fancy for my taste. The ponies I’ve come across are certainly more sophisticated or ‘fancy’, as you said, though they aren’t a horrible bunch. Like I mentioned in a previous letter, I’ve been here before, but not many times.
The party I threw here last time wasn’t fancy either. It was a kid’s birthday party, so it had the element of Cheese to it.
However, I soon found out whose party I’m throwing is. It’s not a birthday, but a request for a formal dinner party. I’ve... never hosted one of those before. I admit I’ve been rather limited in the variety of parties I’ve thrown.
I need help or advice about how to do this. The hosts name is Fancy Pants. I’ve heard of him before. Isn’t he important? That’s what I’ve gathered from many sources.
But knowing that just puts me a little under pressure. If this stallion is so important or famous, I have to make the dinner party to the best of my abilities. The trouble is, I haven’t thrown one before, and I’ve already been hired to play the part. I’m almost panicking just trying to write this.
The dinner party isn’t until this evening, which gives me plenty of time to set it up. I’m already nervous though, and I really need your help. Is there anything you can desperately help me with?
Cheese Sandwich
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Friday 27th March 10:01AM
Dear Cheese,
You wouldn’t believe how excited I got when I heard your letter whooshing its way through Boneless. I practically skipped all over Sugarcube Corner to read what you sent me, you party goer you.
I’m not happy after reading what you sent me. That sounds terrible! And I can’t do anything about it. I’m not experienced in throwing dinner parties either. I’m so so so sorry!
I’d love to help, but I’m not sure myself. I can’t come to Canterlot since I have to help around Sugarcube Corner for the day. I’m taking time away from working just writing back to you. The Cakes assure me it’s fine to take short breaks and write to my friends, but I’ll be happy to make up the time after work!
There is one pony I know who might be able to help. While Rarity wouldn’t be able to come to Canterlot either, I could try and get her to write you some advice. Would that work?
Oh, I can’t let you panic like this! I have to get Rarity! Be right back!
Pinkie Pie xx
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Friday 27th March 10:02AM
Dear Cheese,
Don’t worry, I’ve reached Rarity’s. I showed her your letter and let her in on your situation. She’s staring at me irritated right now because I interrupted her beauty sleep or something. What a lazy pony am I right? She’s only getting more annoyed the more I write here so I’ll wrap this up quickly before she does something angry and I wouldn’t like that because she’s one of my best friends and having your friends angry at you is never good and I never like to see my friends angry because then it puts a frown on my face and a frown is never a good sign!
Pinkie Pie xx
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Friday 27th March 10:15AM
Dear Mr Sandwich,
Hello, this is Rarity, one of Pinkie Pie’s dearest friends. Excuse me if some of my writing comes out as profane, I have just been woken up by Pinkie Pie. While I am not in the best of moods because of her little state of... panic, let’s say, I have gone through the contents of your letter to adjust myself to what it is you want to know.
I have come to the conclusion that you are having trouble in how to organise a dinner party. This is correct yes?
You are indeed correct regarding your host Fancy Pants. He is one of, if not, the most famous unicorn in all of Canterlot, and being asked to even talk with him can be considered an honour in the highest regard. You are a lucky stallion Mr Sandwich to have leadership over his event.
I have attended a garden party Fancy Pants once organised, and it was quite the experience. While it was indeed more ‘classy’, it didn’t detract from the overall event. I would suspect that his dinner party you have been made in charge of will also require the same level of professionalism and cleanliness. There will be no balloons, streamers or birthday hats for this one.
~~Don’t worry Cheese, Rarity will know what to do!~~
My apologies Mr Sandwich. Pinkie Pie interrupted my formal reply and snatched the letter from me to write down what was on her immediate mind. She is worried for you, as she has no doubt mentioned before, and I am currently hearing every ounce of it. Please do not let her worry this frantically over you. I am sure you will do fine.
What you will need to know, is that a dinner party will always go better than expected. It is inevitable that something will go wrong, so don’t worry. In every case, the mistake or mishandling of something important results in a group laugh and discussion at how they make their own mistakes. It is nothing to worry over. If you undercooked some food, it will be undercooked and simply be passed around as a friendly chat. You are not alone in this sort of problem.
So my advice to you would be to relax. Take a few minutes to clear yourself, and you can rest knowing how good of a job you will do. Fancy Pants is not strict at all, nor is he harsh. He is a very polite stallion for his position, and he will sure appreciate the efforts you go to. He will likely understand your nervous predicament too, as there have probably been many others who had been put in your situation.
I hope this helps, and good luck. I wish you an enjoyable time as well.
Rarity
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Friday 27th March 10:18AM
Dear Cheese,
You haven’t written back! Have you read Rarity’s letter? Why haven’t you replied!? I’m getting worried! Please write something! She’s telling me not to panic so much, that it’s your problem and not mine, but not being able to plan a party is scary! Rarity doesn’t know how scary it can be!
Please write back soon!
Pinkie Pie xx
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Friday 27th March 1:37PM
Dear Pinkie,
I’m so sorry Pinkie. I was going to write, but shortly after my first letter, Fancy Pants requested my presence. I was in a deep meeting with him regarding his dinner party and I couldn’t read your letters. I couldn’t take Boneless Two in with me.
I read your letters as soon as I came out. I am so sorry you got so worked up over me. I don’t want you to worry this much over me, I will be fine. It was just a little nerves kicking in. What Rarity wrote and what Fancy Pants told me have eased me, and I am prepared to set up this dinner party. I’ve got the idea of it, as well as the social conventions. It will go off without a hitch.
I thank you for your concern, but again, you don’t need to worry this much about me. Rest assured, I will let you know how this dinner party goes. It will be my first, so I’m in for an experience too.
Cheese Sandwich
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Friday 27th March 3:13PM
Dear Cheese,
I’m calmer now. Shortly after I sent that letter, Rarity made us some tea. I don’t know what it was, but it made me very very very relaxed, like how I eat pudding after a lovely snack. She got rid of my worries, and I don’t know what it was. It was sooo amazing though.
Between you and me, I think she’s just jealous I’ve got such an amazing pen pal.
I’m sorry about worrying too much. I guess I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you. Parties are what we do, and if we can’t do them, then what can we do? It’s nice to know you’ll get some experience in dinner parties though. Maybe you could teach me sometime?
I’m looking forward to reading how your dinner party goes.
Pinkie Pie xx
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Friday 27th March 11:15PM
Dear Pinkie,
Sorry about sending this letter so late, I have just finished with the dinner party. It was amazing and enjoyable. It was much better than I anticipated, like Rarity and Fancy Pants himself assured me. She was right too; I made a slight mistake. I dropped a tray by accident, and as soon as I did, I was afraid I’d get fired right then and there.
But Rarity was right. They related to my problem, some of them claiming they were clumsy themselves sometimes. I hadn’t felt that relieved in quite a while, and Fancy Pants was kind enough to even give me extra payment. He claimed the way I handled the dinner party was so good, that in the end, it was one of the best he's ever hosted. You wouldn't believe how happy I was to hear that! And coming from the most famous stallion in Canterlot, that really means something.
I’d be happy to teach you about dinner parties. It was my first, but I can already share my experience with you when I next come back to Ponyville.
I know this is late, and again, I’m sorry. I literally just finished clearing up, and I’m rather tired now. I’m guessing you might be too, or are already asleep, in which case I’ll finish on one thing.
Good night Pinkie.
Cheese Sandwich
