’Well… fuck my life’

I shouldn’t have done that and much less the other and obviously I shouldn’t have press the subject in that manner to get to a point of no return.

Oh wait are you there?

‘’…’’

Yep you are there, so the most probable thing is that you are in utter confusion about my current situation so let me enlighten you how I ended with an incredible angry Princess Luna holding me by my collar ready to kill me in the most sufferable way in existence.

The night is young so let’s start, Shall we?

2 hour ago… wait… it was 1 hour with 47 minutes ago…

The Canterlot’s streets were more peacefully, but it also matter about the place where you are, and I with my ‘date’ weren’t walking in the nightlife streets where there are a lot of Clubs and Bars. However the peace and calmness were rather nice if I might add.

Albeit how you have heard the expression ‘Everything has to come to an end’, I’m talking about my date with Luna and is nearing to an end which of course I’m waiting impatiently.

Why? You may ask…

Let’s just leave it that I have a surprise…scratch that… two surprises for her.

And I know how to spend the remaining time quickly or in a faster rhythm, Luna was next to me walking with a neutral expression but her head (and gaze) was looking downwards, I can’t exactly tell in which state she is now, if she wasn’t wearing her poker face I could read her with more ease.

‘If Twilight and Rarity are right; that place could change this attitude of hers’

I thought as I remembered a special spot of Canterlot where its view is astonishing to everypony, yeah take that pony-pun seriously because I’m not sure (neither I believe) that it can astonish a human, especially one like myself, and an alicorn princess or Tyrant, but that title fit much better to the Solar bitch of Celestia.

Luna wasn’t paying too much attention to my persona so I took advantage of the situation and I caressed her right ear for a brief moment that made her stop her walk as she locked eyes with me, and let’s not forgets the slight cute blush from her cheeks. Is a good thing that pony ears are incredible sensitive, particularly for the mares.

She might be a Goddess, but she still is a female, a mare to be exactly.

‘’If such actions against us continue, we will consider them as sexual harassment or worse, Elijah’’ She spoke as the light tone of red vanished from her cheeks followed by her eyes frowning at me. Now with a different attitude I could read her face and noticed that her frowning didn’t have hatred in them, just they were showing their annoyance toward my actions.

Is a progress…

‘’But you show such cuteness Luna, that I can’t help myself’’ I said as my cocky grin never left my face ’’also I wanted to ask you something, of course with your permission ‘your highness’’’

I shouldn’t mock her too much; I don’t want her in her bad side…yet.

A sigh escaped her lips ‘’You have your requested permission, oh good sir’’

‘The progress is good, now she play along with me’

‘’I was wondering if you would mind if I take you to a special spot of Canterlot instead of being walking without destination’’ If you didn’t know we stopped walking for engage this conversation.

‘’Yes we would mind’’ a smirk formed in her lips ‘’but we can pass it off’’

After she accepted, immediately I checked ours surroundings for an alley that will lead us to the place, there weren’t many options, only three alleys mind you. If this is the capital of Equestria why there aren’t many streets then? I mean we know that you can easily get lost in Washington’s streets meanwhile here is impossible you get lost. But I’m getting out of the topic.

I gave a step in front of her and waved my hand to her for lead the way to our next destination. The streets didn’t change as we ventured into the alley of the west, same lamps, stone road and old fashioned houses, not the richest ones but they showed social status still.

‘So I need to walk around 3 blocks in this direction…then 1 block to the left…and 2 and half blocks to the north….’

My ‘date’ didn’t show any emotion as we walked whereas we didn’t exchange a word except ‘follow me’ or ‘this way’, I didn’t mind of course. I didn’t have a topic for engage a conversation in this type of environment anyways. On the other hand it wasn’t necessary because we were near to our destination I knew it because the landscape was becoming clearer to my eyes.

I might give a compliment to Luna’s night, her moon and its light fitted perfectly for this ‘special night’. Now I wonder if this was on purpose, but I need more evidence, still the facts that she cleaned herself and make up her mane are very encouraging.

After a few minutes we reached to the recommendation of Twilight and Rarity, it was a balcony that have a perfect view to the whole landscape around the east of Canterlot, where was mostly green and few but noticeable colorful spots, flowers that must be the reason. Then I saw a river across the land which started from a mountain with snow at the stop, the light of the night reflected on the river that make it glow its beauty( nah I don’t see it), although we were pretty far from it we still saw it.

Luna and I stayed on the balcony near the edge where the only thing that prevented us from falling was a railing made of pure marble. I put my hand on it and felt how cold it was, however I wasn’t surprised; is just a matter of fact really.

Together we appreciated the view at the night… not really, to be honest both of us were trying to find what was the thing that made this view astonishing foreverypony, and that how I waste 30 seconds of my life. We never found such beauty, these ponies overrated the place; in particular Rarity and her cheesy or girly stuff.

But I needed to spend the remaining time so it wasn’t a total lost; anyways I wanted to spent my time in a good way where both us could enjoy it, not like this. I could only do one thing to temporarily solve this recent problem, and my solution is inside of one of my pockets.

The smoke filled my lungs and mouth, relaxing my muscles of my body and sending sparks of pleasure toward my brain.

‘I should experiment with other mark, this is already getting boring’

What?

By this point you probably should know that smoking help you to relieve stress and makes you feels good even if it’s for a period of time. And is not the same as drugs, there is big difference between them, the tobacco makes you feel relaxed and good for a while, then you feel normal and its ends, the drugs instead makes you feels great a bit longer than the cigarette but when the effects wears off you feel worse than a total piece of shit.

I will not discuss further about my morals, my focus is on Luna now.

‘’Which were your reasons to bring me here, Elijah?’’

Only after Luna finished her question, did I stop inhaling the tobacco (just for speak)
‘’Well Princess, I heard that his place was known to be one of the best places of Canterlot where everypony could enjoy its beauty’’

I took another glance to the landscape as the last attempt to try to catch its beauty, it was a futile attempt and I perfectly knew it ‘’It seems that the whole beautiful thing was an utter lie’’ I refreshed my eyes by closings my eyelids as both of my shoulders shrugged, expression how little that truth mattered for my persona in general. Finally I resumed inhaling the tobacco with the desire of finishing this one.

Luna closed her eyes slowly followed with a nod of her head ‘’We quite appreciate your good intentions Elijah, furthermore we must agree with you those commentaries are an utter lie’’
I locked my gaze with hers, I wanted…no… I needed to change the scenery so my the time wouldn’t be wasted, but at the cost of my stress-relieving again. But I know that there is no big sacrifice when the prize is more than worth.

With a last inhalation of the bliss of this particular plant I removed my cigarette and throw it off the balcony with a snap of my fingers.

I wanted to be sure if there wasn’t any remain of ashes in my fingernails of my right hand ‘’So tell me Luna would you like to accompany me to a much better place than this…lie?’’ My smirk clearly expressed my good intentions about this request; I didn’t need to see her reaction because I was meaning it for real.

The night princess brought her right hoof towards her chin and tapped it gently; she stayed like that for a while after she came with a response.
‘’We would like to see this ‘better place’ which you mentioned moments ago’’ Let me tell you a small secret, sometimes I feel slightly bad about her when she gives me a genuinely smile because my surprise is going to be a cold shower to her. But as fast as it come, as fast as it go when I remember how much damage she had done to me, physical and psychological.

Stockholm syndrome maybe? Nah she hadn’t kidnapped me…

YET.

With a single applause of my palms I gave a few steps to be once again in front of her highness ‘’Very well, follow my lead princess’’

The only response I get from that was the sounds of her horseshoes steeping on the stone.

Canterlot is known by most of those stuck up nobles live here, which is a true by the way, also that means those snotty guys spend their money here in whatever thing that can produce an income. So I took my dear princess Luna to a private park where only VIP members would be allowed the entrance for enjoys its features.

But it has a strict schedule of attention, and we arrived when it was closed. Of course that wasn’t problem, it only required a small bag of bits to the porter and he allowed the entrance without a second though. Luna didn’t say anything about my last action, maybe because she sees me as someone without morals and ethics, but I have a big list about what I would never do ever.

Luna was sitting like royalty should sit, it wouldn’t have minded if it was an expensive cushion where she was resting but she was sitting on a normal bench. However, she chose the place and let me say this; she has a good taste in choosing nice spots where someone could enjoy the place. I noticed that when I was arriving with 2 cups filled with tea, not good as Zecora’s but still good.

If you are wondering where I got them, the answer is that there is an obvious reason why this park is private and you have to pay a not so cheap membership.

I handed one of the cups to her, which she grabbed with her magic as I sat next to her but keeping a considerable distance between us, we can’t rush the things.

‘’We render thanks to your politeness, Elijah’’

‘’Noooo, it’s nothing really’’ I said with my most modest tone

She didn’t continue with the silly games about being humble, or is being modest? Either way it was time to give her my surprise to her, hopefully it will according to the improved plan so far.
I savored the tea on my lips as I take a sip ‘’You know something?’’ I met my gaze with hers ‘’I didn’t get you a gift for this date’’ I chuckled as response to her frown and turned to take another sip ‘’But that’s the reason that I will make for it with this gift’’ Another sip to refresh my throat
‘’This gift is for you, and you only’’

She grew impatient with each passing second, something unexpected for me, and she demanded it ‘’Just give it to us and stop wasting the time’’

‘’I will let you ask me anything about me, life, hobbies, tastes, preferences, whatever thing and I will answer them with all honesty. Pinkie promise’’ I crossed my heart aftermath

‘’…’’

Silence reign between us, this must have caught her off the guard I’m pretty sure of it. The shocked expression and wide eyes, and surprisingly the cup still in her magical hold.

‘’But!’’

I inserted just in time when she was about to send all her questions towards me
‘’You can only ask about my time before I arrived to Equestria’’

Yeah, I know what are you thinking but I cannot risk to her to discover all of my plans against her sister yet. Luna still wants to rule, in other words she is a pseudo-princess.

She huffed in frustration ‘’You said that we could ask ANYTHING about you’’

‘’Okay, ALMOST anything. Is that better?’’

‘’I hate you, you know?’’

‘’And I love you, you know that too?’’

Before she continued with the discussion I lifted my hand in front of her ’’Could you stop please and enjoy your special gift?’’

After she calmed herself, her normal composure returns to normality and take the first sip of her tea. ‘’We have already read about your world in Twilight’s letters, Elijah’’ She said in disinterest

‘Well there it goes m-‘

‘’But she always explained everything in a complex manner which made us get a vague idea from the whole ordeal’’

Now I wonder if Celestia really read the friendship reports which Twilight writes with so much effort.

‘’So enlighten us about your world Elijah’’
For a moment I thought that everything was lost but it turned out well, I have a curious princess eager to hear me ‘’Okay, so tell me what do you want to know’’
That was how we spend like 20 minutes; it started like it was supposed to be. With the classical question about where did you born? Or how old are you? And she asked about the countries too.
‘’Do you have any family back home?’’

‘...Fuck’

I knew what I was getting into when I offered her this gift, but I hoped that she would never ask about my family. Is a really personal thing to me, but for my bad luck I Pinkie promised.

‘’Yes I do, father, mother and two little sisters’’ Is a really saddening thing for me, so sad that my fake cheery tone decay to be a depresse- Shit.

She noticed my sadness, and knowing her she will press matter furthermore. UGH! Now I have to contain my tears every time I have to mention my family.

YES, YESAND YES!

I fucking love my family!

I fucking miss my family!

I FUCKING WANT TO SEE THEM AGAIN!

BUT I CANNOT DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE THAT!!!!!

‘’Can you tell more about these two little sister of yours?’’ a mischievously smile formed in her lips

‘I cannot give her what she wants’ That was the only thought that passed my mind, I have to be strong and cold as ever, if she believe that she can broke me then she is completely wrong. A person can’t be broken twice.

The grief grew by each passing second and I could only get rid of it temporarily by sighing, I’m going to sigh a lot until she give up the topic I’m pretty sure of that.

‘’Well for starters their names are Annabelle Collins and Kristen Collins, Annabelle was 12 when I left and Kristen was about to turn 14.’’

Each fucking word, each god fucking dammit agonizing word was tearing me inside, their smile and happy voices are still fresh in my mind like they never left my side, I will never forget them but I cannot think of them, you know what happens if I think about them even if it is a second. I can become sobbing wreckage in matter of seconds.

Her mischievously smile turned into a wicked smile not terrifying but still disturbing ’’Oh, could you describe them for us?’’

‘Go fuck yourself!’ I kept mentally cursing and insulting her, they always go for the little siblings fucking always!

Whereas FUCK PINKIE PROMISES!

‘Hey! I heard that!’

‘STAY AWAY FROM THIS PINKIE!’

I poured a vast part of the contents of the cup inside my mouth to calm myself ‘’Annabelle was around the height of 1,56 meters approximately; she was a nice and intelligent girl, blonde hair like mine and very cute green eyes. Then Kristen was around 1, 59 meters; she was nice too, but she wasn’t brilliant like Annabelle instead she was the one who made us smile always even in the sad moments. She has blonde hair but with a darker tone, her eyes were light brown and she has a lot of freckles on her cheeks accompanied with a cute blush.’’

‘’Did they love you?’’

You know something, I wouldn’t care if she was Fluttershy or Sweetie Belle I would disfigure her face or muzzle (I don’t really care) by punching them, HARD! But I have to hold back my emotions.

‘’Yes Luna, they LOVE me even if I was missing for four years, or dead in this case’’ I only hope that this emotional torture end right now.

Luna leaned her head closer in interest to me when she heard that simple word ‘’Did you say ‘dead’?’’

I wasn’t surprised about it to be honest, I never mentioned that part to Twilight when she was interrogation me so is understandable Luna’s reaction ‘’Princess, four years ago I was heading to my home but that time I decided to walk in other route because I wanted something new from the routine, so I was having a relaxed walk until I heard a loud horn. I turned and I was greeted by a fast car coming to me, I couldn’t escape from the impact because I turned too late. Then I awoke in a small bed surrounded with pastel-colored ponies’’

Luna take a brief sip from the tea ‘’With that information provided now we can theorize how you could have arrived to our kingdom’’

‘’Celestia’s Kingdom’’ I quickly inserted causing her to give me a cold glare.

‘’We are certain that you were known in your home world as a sociopath and incredible bad person maybe even a monster, Elijah’’ She naïvely replied

I glared to my tea, which was in half empty ‘’You’re wrong in that statement Luna’’

She only shook her head side to side, reaffirming her position

‘’Before Equestria fucked my mind, life and broke me I was known to be the good neighbor. I always was eager to help everyone who needed a hand, a lovingly big brother who cared a lot his sisters, a good son whom parent would be proud. To sum up everything I WAS a good person, not anymore it seems’’ I neared my lips to the cup but I didn’t drink anything I just rest them on the edge, feeling the warm steam on my nose and mouth.

‘’Your statement is an utter lie’’ She said accusingly

‘’HA!’’

‘’HA!’’

‘’HA!’’

My sarcastic laugh was echoing through the park’s backgrounds, although it was funny really, if she want to overthrow her sister then she must have to learn a lot of things, and I’m the perfect teacher for her.

Tell me, are you surprised that the killer and torturer of uncountable innocents, was a good person?

Well, have this in mind; No one born evil, they become evil.

‘’Oh my dear princess Luna, ruler of the night and ‘co-ruler’ of Equestria, do you see a Pinkie Pie with the intentions of kill me for break a promise of hers?’’ I finished with a mocking tone as I drank the rest of the tea, leaving an empty cup on my hands. She wasn’t that taken aback but still this truth caught her completely by surprise

Neither of us touched the topic anymore

The silence was there once again and it started to become unpleasant for us, provoking to Luna to ask another question which I would respond with all honesty.

‘’Care to explain us about the Democracy? But please don’t be like Twilight, just concrete.’’ Is nice when you answer the question of a curious alicorn, and I don’t think that it will become annoying like Twilight’s session.

Like she requested I was concrete with the answer, explaining the principal idea about the Democracy system, and how it works since the president to the ministers also about the ministries and departments. I can tell that she was incredible interest by the whole idea because she showed such interest that can even compared to Twilight’s.

‘’It sounded much better than my sister appeared to be’’ She said thoughtfully as she rested her chin on her right hoof ‘’Also she is wrong about you, Elijah. You are not that bad which Celestia makes you be’’

I left the empty cup next to me ‘’The reason of that is because you are less bitchy than you sister’’ as ever I became the cocky guy again.

Luna didn’t mind the insult instead she chuckled darkly which was intimidating by the way ‘’Charming as ever, Ellis’’

I continued with my best attitude as I stood up from my seat excitedly ‘’What can I do? I’m a gifted person after all’’ I small laugh from both of us followed then

I didn’t need to check the time, because I was pretty sure that our date had come to an end, so I needed to set up for reveal my other surprise for her, I calculated everything coldly so the chances of failing are low, that doesn’t mean that it can’t fail.

‘’Alright Princess I really enjoyed our date but is a bit late to me so I will be heading home, you can accompany if that is your wish’’

She got up from the bench too ‘’Although we hate to admit this, we enjoyed this ‘date’ but in special our time spent in that place called ‘Ponybucks’ and I will reject your offer, we are fine alone’’

I shrugged my shoulders showing that turning down my offer didn’t affect me in the slightest and put my hands inside my pants pockets starting the journey to my humble house. Of course I couldn’t forget to be a gentleman ‘’Goodbye Luna, take care’’ But my journey has to come to an abrupt end when a sudden flash of light blinded my eyes for a few seconds.

In front of me stood the young alicorn with serious eyes glaring at me, trying to reach my soul ‘’We did our part now is your turn’’ She wasn’t in good mood anymore, and why she? We made a deal 2 days ago and as she said she did her part and now it was my turn. And here is where it enters my other surprise for her.

My only reply was a noticeable raised eyebrow, which caused her to become more hostile toward me by stepping closer.

‘’Do not play the fool with us Elijah’’ The venom in her voice increased; obviously she was growing impatient each passing second.

‘’Oh right! The cure’’ I tapped my forehead with my palm attempting that I was in utter surprise.
She smirked in victory when I was handing her the syringe with the word ‘The cure’ written on it, but that smirk didn’t last long. Her pupils shrank into a size of a dot as every expression on her face left her when she examined the syringe floating in front of her eyes. With that lifeless face, she stared at me.

‘’What?’’ I asked sounded annoyed by her last action.

One emotion returned to her, anger ‘’YOU PINKIE PROMISED TO GIVE US THE CURE WHEN THIS DATE WAS FINISHED!!!!’’

I pay no mind to her outburst to give her a disinterest reply ‘’Well yeah, that’s ‘The cure’’’
With her magic she almost shoved the syringe on my beautiful face showing the reason of her frustration, which of course I knew from the start

‘’This syringe is EMPTY!’’ another feeling entered her after her last sentence, despair. Despair such beautiful emotion to me, when people enter in that state they are exposed to do anything for something, and when I say anything I mean anything. Take for example the poor people of Africa, yep much like that.

Finally I got what I wanted, it took me months of planning but at the end all that time was worth. I had Luna on my hands ready to do anything for me, or that’s what I thought.
I crossed my arms together ‘’I don’t know why are you complaining about, I literally gave you ‘The cure’, the syringe’s name is ‘The cure’’’

A faint sound of shattering glass reached my ear drums as the sight of a froze Luna, with eyes filled with despair and shock.

I contained my laugh, but still my joy was audible faint chuckles were leaving my throat ‘’My debts are officially paid now’’ With that said I resumed my journey to my home as I was waiting for sobbing Luna at my feet begging to help her, but it never came.

Instead another blinding flashed into my eyes, followed for a strong tug of my collar ripping it on the process and my eyes connected with others filled with rage and ill-murderous intent.
‘’YOU TRICKED US!!!’’ After the yell she sent a powerful strike into my head but not enough to knock me out, that doesn’t mean I didn’t feel any pain.

The pain was acceptable in human standards but this hit hurt more than the last one, I suppressed a groan of pain as I tried to cease the pain with only my face’s muscles ‘’Ugh…Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy, he can’t feel the nex-…’’

She stroke me again but this time the hit went to my stomach just in the correct place where was placed my diaphragm, I was out of air instantly but I didn’t feel any pain this time. The adrenaline is working perfectly.

‘’See?’’ I said with unsurprised but pained face.

She glared me dagger directly into my eyes.

The fear slowly was overwhelming me when my eyes connected to hers, this time her glare was touching my soul in a bad way sending shiver to my entire body, but somehow I still maintained my defiant face. ‘’I never tricked your majesty, it hurt me that you think of us in such low manner’’

She pulled me closer ‘’I WANT THE ‘REAL’ CURE NOW!’’

And that’s when everything got loose, I laughed. I insanely laughed without caring about my current position which I was in, I was cr-…I am crazy after all.

‘’Th- The HIV has no cure Luna’’ I stated between cold laughs ‘’No, no...’’ I shook my head ‘’No... my people never found a cure when I left’’

The strength that was preventing me from moving vanished and I was free from her grasp. She was completely dead in tracks. But I perfectly knew that my plan failed so I just cleaned the dust off my suit and tried to accommodate the ripped collar ‘’I will pass this Lulu, so I would like another date the next Friday at the same hour’’ And I left her completely expressionless, she seemed lifeless in my opinion. I continued laughing, remember that the best medicine is laugh, well is true, laughing without control was subsiding the pain of my body.

Then I stopped moving.

My eyes widened in fear because I knew what was going to happen next, my head turned to be greeted with Luna starting her transformation.

Those amount of sharp teeth were more terrifying than a shark’s back home, in others words I was completely scared, scared enough to won't be able to remain defiant anymore.

Her muzzle was dangerously closer to my face, I felt her cold breaths If I wasn’t scared enough then I was when she spoke ‘’ I AM GOING TO RIP OFF EVERY LIMB OF YOUR MISERABLE BODY STARTING WITH YOUR FINGERNAILS, THEN I WILL EAT ALL OF YOUR FLESH AND I WILL LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT!!!’’

’Well… fuck my life’

Now I was pathetic, and I was more when I stammered my reply ‘’TH-That wouldn’t b-be a wise decision-on’’

She could have bit my face if I hadn’t dodged her bite and judging by the sound of her fangs connecting her bite was more powerful than a crocodile ‘’I DON’T CARE BECAUSE THOSE MINUTES OF YOUR EXTREMELY PAINFUL EXECUTION WILL BRING ME JOY for THE REST OF MY DAYS, AND MY STUPID SISTER WOULDN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR DEATH!!!!’’

I couldn’t scream and that made everything more terrifying.

Then was nothing.

Author's Note

Well first mt proofreader doesnt appear to be found, and im without proofreader with any of my stories, ugh...

Anyways with this chapter is officially finished the whole date thing with our beloved princess luna, so what do you thing how elijah managed the things, uh? (in my opinion he could have done better XD)

Also I hope that you found the batman reference here, it fited perfectly in my opinion

So don't forget to comment, like and fav!!!!

Lufe out!