The Oblivious Love Life of Dark Side

by DeviousNights

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Romance
Length: 2064

Dark Side has a way with mares. There's no avoiding that. The problem is, will he ever notice how much attention he graspes? When he visits ponyville multiple mares fall for his intellect, looks, etc. But what happens when the Mane 6 fall for h

Dark side, is what you would call oblivious. Mares love him, but he hasn't noticed yet. After being transferred by the law firm he works for he is moved to Ponyville. There he meets his new guy group, Snips, Snails, and Spike. Unfortunately, problems arrive when one by one mares fall for him. But will he be unknowing to it when the Mane 6 fall for him?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-12 07:50:03 UTC

One Small Step for Dark Side

"Yeeeeooouuuchhhh!!!" Dark side screeched. He had split coffee on himself. "Oh this is a GREAT start to a day. I wonder if Pomyvile has anywhere that fixes suits." He wondered aloud, patting his suit, feeling all the small rips, stringy parts, and the giant stain in middle. It was his first day in Ponyville after the  Shields and co. Law firm, one of the most famous within equestria opened a branch in Ponyville, in which he was the owner and proprietor ( Though he / has yet to get an employee).

He trotted outside, briefly allowing the breeze to carry his dark blue mane in its grasp. To be honest, he was a sight to behold. With his deep purple eyes, dark blue coat with a dark blue mane to match, he was very popular with the opposite sex. Though, for whatever reason, he still remains unbeknownst to this fact. He has broken many hearts due to this and he doesn't even know how it all happens. While he was enjoying the breeze, a yellow haired Pegasus with a gray coat suddenly zooms toward him.

"Uh-oh." Is all Dark Side could say before getting slammed into his own lawn. The other mare recovered from the impact almost immediately and looked at him quizzically.

"Gee-wiz I'm sorry sir. I still haven't gotten this flying thing down pact yet." She said, still closer to him than she needed to be.

"It's quite alright. Accidents do happen." Dark side said calmly, keeping his composure. He batted of his now ripped suit and looked at the mare who had just gave him a mouthful of his own lawn.

The first thing he noticed was that her eyes. They where a light shade of yellow. But that's not what made him notice them. They where, as some would call "derped".

"Hi!" She exclaimed as she saluted him. "The names Ditzy Doo, malware of Ppnyville, though ponies just call me Derpy.

"Good day. I am Dark Side. Ponyville's new district prosecutor."

"Proscecutor?" She asked.

"I'm a lawyer basically." He said plainly, feeling bad for making her out to be slow.

"Well hello and welcome to Ponyville then. Actually Pinkie Pie was supposed to introduce you here but I guess I beat her to the punch." She said a bit too excitedly.

She gave him a bear hug, rubbing her face against his before excusing herself to deliver the rest of the mail.

"Well she was affectionate." Dark Side said to himself continuing down the busy streets.

He walked for about 15 minutes before arriving to a part of town without as many houses. He then walked to a giant building, with a menagerie of colors, ranging from blue, to purple, to pink. It had a multitude of dresses hanging from wires attached to trees.

"Well those dresses are particularly beautiful." Dark Side said in his mind, wondering who made them. "Maybe he or she can make me a new suit."

Dark side walked up to the building and trapped on the door three times.

After about twenty seconds of waiting, the door opened to reveal a young filly with a purple and white main and a white coat. Strangely, though, she was wearing a helmet.

"Well hi there, err... little filly." Dark Side said, unsure of what to call her without possibly offending her.

"HI!!" She screamed so loud, and in such a high pitched voice, she may well have screeched.

"..." Dark Side stood there fazed at how high pitched her voice was, but soon recovered from shock. "So...you live here?" Dark side asked, curious as to where a parent was.

"Well yeah, but until my mom and dad get back from their business trips. Well, gotta go mister CUTIE MARK CRUSADER STUNT BIKERS!!" She yelled as she ran of to a nearby business called Sweet Apple Acres.

"Sweetie Belle? What have we discussed about your screaming reaching higher than 60 decib-" she stopped and gasped as she saw Dark Side. Her heart skipped a beat. Maybe two. As much as she hated to do it she closed the door on him. She simply couldn't see someone as dashing as him without preparations. She rushed upstairs and put on a frilly white dress she had just got finished making. She rushed back downstairs an promptly opened the door.

"Greetings, I apologize for bothering you but how many bits would you need to repair a suit?" Dark Side asked in his regal voice.

"Oh, Celestia! Even his voice is perfect!" She said in her mind, barely able to contain her excitement.

"Oh yes come right in."

---End of chapter 1---

The Melancholy Relationship of Snips and Snails

Much later that same day, after receiving a new suit and agreeing to dinner with Rarity the next day, Dark Side continues to explore Ponyville, until he hears two Colts arguing.

"No Applejack is the better athlete!" Said the tall tan Unicorn with a cutie Mark of a gathering of snails. His voice made him sound very, very dopey, making Dark Side flinch in disgust.

"Nuh-uh! Rainbow Dash is the better athlete. I know because I lead her fan club." The much shorter blue unicorn said smugly, while fiddling with a string of his orange hair. Dark Side decided to speak to them, out of curiosity of how their relationship worked. Before he could speak to them two fillies walked up to the duo.

One of them had a pink coat with a mix of white and light purple for her mane. Her cutie mark presented a crown of some sort, what is called a tiara. She was wearing the same tiara stop her mane as if she was a pony of utmost importance. Dark Side could have sworn he had seen her someplace. Also the fresh scent of strawberries she gave of smelled vaguely familiar. He figured that unless she was in his office or at a client's home that he couldn't have known her and simply brushed it off.

The other filly had a gray coat with a gray-white mix in her mane to match. Her cutie mark was simply a silver expensive-looking spoon. For whatever reason he seemed to recognize her as well. Not as distinctively as he did the other filly though.

Dark Side looked back and forth between the two duos and figured that the richer ones where probably up to no good. He figured he should sit this one out, unless, of course, things get out of hand.

"Well, well, well," began the pink coated filly, "Two lame-o's fighting. Like we don't see that every day." She said sarcastically to her company, who giggled in response.

"Leave us alone Diamond Tiara this doesn't concern you." The shorter unicorn said with annoyance in his voice.

Wait. Diamond Tiara? Now he knew that he knew this filly. Her father came by his office a few years back in Canterlot. She was just a small filly but she broke both of his lamps and left a hole in the wall the size of his hoof. She broke his possessions because she figured she was doing him a favor and her father would replace it with a better version of it. Fortunately her father replaced the lamps but said he could do nothing about the hole.

"Well, Tiara, you shouldn't expect so much from a bunch of middle class losers like them." The other filly said giggling in the process.

Dark Side recognised her voice and mannerisms almost immediately. Her name was Silver Spoon. Her father was a close friend of his years back due to their ties to the Shields and co. Law offices. His name was Gold Menagerie. He died a year or so ago from what the press said was an "honest accident". How can a knife through the breast be an accident? Ever since Dark Side has been looking into case files hoping to find something. Nothing was there.

"What's wrong Snips? Are you mad because your family is a bunch of half wit middle class losers?" Diamond tiara mockingly asked. "Don't worry. I still care." She said as she there a bit on the ground as tears grew in Snails' eyes.

"I've seen enough!"  Dark Side yelled out, anger in his voice.

All four fillies turned to see the colt who was glaring directly at the antagonistic fillies.

"And who are you? A nobody who's friends with these two nobodies?" She said, degrading him and receiving giggles from her gray manned accomplice.

"Maybe you should ask your father who I am. I'm sure he remembers all the trouble you gave me in my office in Canterlot. It's not a stretch to think that I can't still file charges." Dark Side threatened.

"He's bluffing Diamond Tiara." Silver Spoon SId, defending her.

"Okay then. Tell your dad I will be over his house for dinner and we can discuss the amount of money I get in compensation." Dark Side said smirking at the fact that she was in a corner with no way out.

Suddenly Diamond Tiara grabbed Silver Spoon.

"Okay! See? We're leaving..." She said as she dragged her partner away with her.

Snips and Snails stared at Dark Side slack jawed. Snips was the first to speak up.

"Sir, how old are you?" He asked as his curiosity overcame his reasoning as it wasn't considered polite to ask a strangers age.

"Me? 15." He replied.

"What?! How are you working a job and your no older than Applejack?!" Snips exclaimed

"Celestia chose me specifically out of my class. Me...and Twilight Sparkle. Though I don't usually write her letters. I don't rely have a pet Dragon." He said chuckling at his last statement. It was dang near impossible to get a dragon these days as only larger variations existed, unless he could find a Dragon egg.

"You know, we're indebted to you, right?"

"What?"

"Bro code declares if one bro saves one or more bros from certain destruction, they'll be bros for life."

"What in heck? So. We're bros for life now."

"Yup"

"Celestia Christ." Dark Side muttered under his breath as he facehooved.

"So what will be our first action as BFLS?" They both asked in unison.

"BFLS?"

"Bros for life, bro."

"Please. Call me Dark Side."

"Okay bro Dark Side."

Dark Side facehooved again. "Okay then, "bros". Our first action Wil be to go out and get some Root Beer. You guys know of a place that sells Root Beer or sweets?"

"Yeah sure, there's Suguarcube Corner." Snails answered

"And where is that located?" Dark Side asked, still not knowing his way around town.

"Tell ya what. We'll take you there. Follow us." Snips said leading the way to Sugarcube Corner. After 3 or 4 minutes they made it there. It seemed as if the building was the exact definition of "sweet" it almost, literally looked edible. Pink streamers were lined up everywhere on the outside, while confetti littered the entrance.

"This place looks...wild, to say the least." Dark Side commented.

"That'd be an understatement describing  who works here." Snips said opening the door, allowing entrance for Dark Side and Snails.

The inside looked almost identical to the outside, save for the sweet layout of confectionery treats and a batch of fresh cupcakes with blue frosting on a table. The room was unusually empty and devoid of other ponies. They sat down at a counter as Dark Side rang the bell to attract attention of employees.

"Hello? Anyone there?" Dark Side asked aloud.

"Well howdy there sugarcube." Said a southern accentedvoice behind them.

"Applejack?" Snails asked as he turned around d only to have another pony's face very close to his.

"Nope just me! *Giggle* How's my Applejack impersonation going Snails?" Said an overly cheery voice behind Dark Side.

"You sure had me fooled!" Snails exclaimed, having been fooled by Pinkie's facade.

"So who's your friend? Idonthinkihavevanseenhimbefore!" She said quickly.

"The Name's Dark Side." He said turning around to look at the pony.

She was the direct definition of Pink. No. That might be an understatement. The only part of her that wasn't pink was her eye color,which was blue. As she looked him over for a bit a smile stretched across her face.

"Your pretty cute!" She exclaimed before walking of, leaving Dark Side profusely blushing.

To be continued...