My Little Pony Fan Fiction

Spike Through The Heart

By Kraven Ergeist

A/N: Thanks for all the comments. Still can't believe this made the feature box. A few people have expressed distaste with the pairing of Twilight and Spike, and like it says in the description, that's perfectly fine. Don't read the Twilight chapters, and feel free to check out the other pairing chapters when they come up to see if they're to your tastes. I don't expect to be able to please everybody, and there are plenty of other fics on the site if this one doesn't do it for you. There are entire groups and communities devoted to one pairing or another, and any fic I write is going to conflict with someone's tastes to some degree. That said, if there's a particular pairing or premise you'd care to see me try to write, shoot me a line and I'll see if it sounds interesting enough to tackle it after this fic is done.

A few of you have pointed out the walls of text in this fic, and for that, I apologize. I am trying to develop a more detailed and in-depth style, as my previous writing has stood out as being entirely conversation-driven and devoid of quite a lot of detail. I see each new fic I write as a chance to try to develop my ability to fully flesh out each scene, though this will usually depend on how much detail I can picture in my head. Obviously, there's a sweet spot between too little detail and too much, and I can see that there's probably less of a demand for it on fimfiction, so I plan to use this fic to test my ability to hit that butter zone and write with exactly as much detail as necessary (though I suspect that this chapter will fail this task quite miserably).

For those of you just tuning in, when we last left off, Spike had decided to stop being Twilight's assistant to try to make it on his own. Now we begin a new chapter, to see just how he'll fare out there all by himself.

Chapter Two: Wander Shy

The first few months were the most difficult.

Ponyville had been all Spike had known for most of his life. He had fond memories of Canterlot from his childhood, but his heart would forever be in Ponyville. Which, as it turned out, was part of the problem - everything in Ponyville reminded him of Twilight. Every-pony there knew his name - because of Twilight. Every friend he had ever made in Ponyville, he had made because of Twilight.

No, he could not stay in Ponyville. It was time to set out on his own. But where?

"Spike, please don't be this childish," Twilight had told him the day he'd left. "Where will you even go?"

Spike had thought long and hard about that problem. He couldn't go back to Canterlot, he reasoned. Twilight was such a regular visitor there that it would be as bad as if he had never left Ponyville. The same was true of the Crystal Empire, though he hadn't ruled it out as a backup option if things became desperate - he was still heralded as a hero to the Crystal Ponies, and would most likely be met with nothing but hospitality should he seek refuge there. But Princess Cadence was too close to Twilight, and he didn't like the idea of her looking over his shoulder on Twilight's behalf, nor did he particularly wish to face Twilight's brother right then. Plus he didn't want to take advantage of their hospitality. That just felt wrong to him.

No, wherever he went, he did not want to be catered to. He would pull his own weight.

The closest neighboring town that wasn't affiliated with Princess Twilight was Appleloosa, though he vaguely recalled that Applejack's cousin Braeburn lived there. Still, that was an indirect connection at best, and he remembered reading that the desert surrounding Appleloosa contained many gemstone mines, which would be perfect places for a dragon like Spike to work.

So he set out for Appleloosa, determined to make a life for himself, even if was just to prove that he could.

"Spike, be reasonable, please!" Twilight's voiced continued to echo in his thoughts day after day. "You can't just leave like this!"

He had found work sure enough; a mining company of earth ponies was kind enough to hire him on as a digger, tracker, and general handy-dragon. It was a definite plus that he could breath his own fire and light the way in the deep dark caverns of the San Palomino Desert, and after a few weeks of work, he had proven himself as strong and as capable as any earth pony, at least when it came to mining. They were a friendly enough group. They would even invite him to go drinking with them afterward. And best of all, none of them knew where he came from. To them, he was just Spike. Not Twilight's assistant - just Spike the dragon.

But as hard a worker as he was, as genuinely devoted as he could be when he set his mind to it, nothing could be done about the fact that his payment was edible. After receiving his cut of of the gemstones at the end of each haul, everything he had earned had usually been eaten before he could even cash them in. Perhaps he was regressing to his childish ways, he reflected one day as he arrived in Appleloosa to discover that the cart full of gems he had brought back to trade in for bits was mostly empty. He had thought he had grown out of binge eating gems after the fiasco with his friends' pets back in Ponyville. For some reason, every time he got his hands on some, the hole in his belly would twist and growl, and nothing he ate ever seemed to fill it.

"Fine!" Twilight had said as he'd walked away, tears in her eyes. "If this is how it's going to be, Spike, then just go already!"

Spike hadn't looked back. Part of him was glad that Twilight was so upset by his leaving. It felt good to hurt her after she had rejected him like that. But it was a fleeting feeling, and before he had even made it past the edge of town, his own eyes had already filled with tears.

It got so bad that one day, he caught himself eating on the job.

Worse yet, so had his boss. After being caught twice more eating the gems he and other miners had just dug up, Spike was eventually asked to leave.

He tried looking for other work in Appleloosa, but no-pony else seemed to be hiring dragons around there. So eventually, Spike went off in search of other gemstone mines, ones that hadn't been claimed yet by any mining companies. After a week of searching over a dozen empty caves and living off whatever desert wildlife he could catch and sleeping under the stars, he eventually discovered that the only mines not claimed by mining companies were the ones claimed by diamond dogs.

He had barely made out it out alive.

"How could you just leave like this, Spikey-Wikey?" Rarity had exclaimed when he told her about his decision. "Don't you care about us anymore?"

Spike wasn't sure where to go after that. Las Pegasus was only a handful of miles west of the desert, as was Applewood. And Spike had always had a childhood dream of being a movie star, so he ventured out west, hunting more of the local wildlife along the way to keep himself fed. Eventually he found his way to Applewood, and spent the next several months thanklessly getting coffee for a director named A.J. Haybrams. The unicorn barely acknowledged Spike's existence on set, and the position didn't pay anything besides, so Spike was left to fend for himself for food, frequently turning to rummaging through trash bins and hunting for mice. He slept at a homeless shelter, and often went to bed hungry.

Then one day, there was an accident on set and one of the actors hurt their ankle and couldn't perform. Spike implored the director to let him try, having been memorizing the lines after weeks of watching them all perform. Spike gave it his best, but during a particularly intense scene, Spike found himself bombarded with lens flare, dazing his vision and causing him to trip and fall, knocking over a large part of the set. A.J. Haybrams had kicked him off the set without a second thought.

Spike left Applewood soon afterward.

"Now listen here, Spike," Applejack had said. Of all his friends, she had probably reacted the most reasonably. "I know what it's like to wanna go off and make something of yourself, but are you sure you've thought this whole thing through?"

Spike ventured north after that, deciding to once again find the fleet of dragons he had met during the migration he and his friends had seen as a child. Maybe now that he was older, he might fit in more than he had back then. He wasn't optimistic and his memories of the previous encounter were bitter at best, but having spent the last several months being spurned by unforgiving pony-folk, Spike was ready to start looking beyond equines for company. So he made his way towards the Smokey Mountain, hunting whatever game he could find to sustain himself along the journey. He had gotten quite good at it these past several months, but even he realized that he was getting thinner with each passing week. He hadn't had a square meal in months.

He eventually found the caldera where the dragons had been when he'd last seen them. It was much easier to scale the cliffs than he recalled when he was younger. When he got to the top, however, the volcano seemed largely abandoned, and Spike mentally cursed himself for not remembering that dragons migrated with the seasons, and that most of them would be down in the Badlands this time of year, clear cross the country.

The journey to the Smokey Mountain had not been in vain, however. Spike eventually discovered a gigantic, elderly dragon sleeping at the center of the basin. He was so enormous and so covered in gray ash that Spike had almost mistaken him for another part of the volcano. His scales were completely obscured in volcanic dust, his wings were frail and weak, and his body too decrepit to stand or even so much as move other than to open his eyes or his mouth.

The other dragons had left him there to die.

"Spike..." Pinkie Pie had said, with the most earnest tears he had ever seen in her eyes. "Why would you want to leave Ponyville? This is your home!"

Spike spent weeks talking with the old dragon. He brought him all the food he could find, but the old dragon was massive, and anything Spike could catch was barely enough to feed himself, let alone a creature a hundred times his size. The old dragon told Spike stories about the things he had seen in his life. He was old enough to recall the days before Nightmare Moon, before Discord, before Sombra, before even Tirek and his brother had terrorized Equestria. Spike told him about Twilight, his friends, and the elements of harmony, and what had become of Tirek and Sombra and Discord and Nightmare Moon. The old dragon did not seem to even care about the happenings of Equestria. Instead, he seemed focused on Spike himself, and would ask him each and every day why he had come to this place, and every answer Spike gave the old dragon seemed to amuse him.

Finally, one day, Spike responded to the beast's question by telling the old dragon that he was trying to find his own path. When he did, for the first time since meeting him, the old dragon seemed to take the answer seriously, stirring for what must have been the first time in weeks. His body was so covered with ash that he looked like a piece of the landscape, and when he moved, the ash fell off of him like snowfall.

With a shaky movement, the old dragon reached out and touched a single claw to Spike's chest, leaving a blot of pale dust on his scales, as if anointing the young dragon. The dust seemed to shimmer in the morning sunlight, and Spike felt more than a little weirded out by the action, but soon after, the old dragon slumped back down and fell asleep again, and nothing Spike did seemed to stir the ancient beast. Finally he gave up and went about his day of hunting for food.

The old dragon did not wake up the next morning. Somehow Spike knew that he wouldn't be waking up ever again. The layers of ash from the volcano had piled so thickly onto his body that he looked like he had become part of the mountain. Maybe that's how dragons died, Spike thought morbidly; by becoming one with the landscape. For all Spike knew, he always had been.

He left soon afterward.

"I don't get it, Spike," Rainbow Dash had said. "What's waiting for you out there that you don't already have here?"

Spike spent the next several weeks - who knows, it may have been months, the days just blended together now - venturing around the White Tail Woods at the base of the mountain. He found a nice little cave for himself to sleep in, and spent his days exploring the woods, hunting for food, and trying to talk to the animals he encountered. None of them seemed inclined to talk back.

He missed his friends. He missed Ponyville. He missed cold apple cider and comic books and candy stores and magic libraries and even all his friends' silly little pets. He missed his old life, and he spent each night trying to remind himself why his heart refused to allow him to go back to it.

He didn't want to end up like that old dragon. He didn't want to be abandoned by his friends and left to die on his own like that. But no matter how he looked at it, it was he who had abandoned his friends, not the other way around.

Was it pride that kept him away? Was it the fact that, by coming back, it would mean that he couldn't make it on his own? Or was it that, by coming back, it would mean admitting to Twilight that he had been wrong?

Still, his anger towards one pony shouldn't color the way he treated his other pony friends. Each of his friends had reacted slightly differently to the news of his departure. Their words would all replay in his head as he closed his eyes each night, a constant reminder of his mistake, his failure, his regret.

Oddly, the pony whose voice he recalled most fondly these days was not that of Twilight.

It was Fluttershy.

"Spike..." she had said, hanging her head sadly. It looked as though it had taken every ounce of her courage not to let herself cry. "I'll miss you..."

It hadn't been a question. It hadn't been a request for him to reconsider. It had been a single expression of emotion. Pure and simple. And as Spike reflected on where his journeys this last year had taken him, he found himself more and more longing not for the complex ballet of niceties involved during his life with Twilight, but for a quiet, simpler life, not removed from the world, but far enough from it that it couldn't hurt him.

A life like Fluttershy's.

Spike managed a weak smile. It was thoughts such as that which he held most deeply as he drifted off to sleep.

For Fluttershy, work was never done. Then again, for Fluttershy, work was never work.

Her wildlife rehabilitation habitat was perpetually overflowing with sick, injured or abandoned animals ranging from birds to frogs to badgers to beetles. It seemed that no matter how tame the Everfree Forest became, no matter how much the magic of harmony pervaded throughout Equestria, there were still the dangers of the natural world, and these dangers usually resulted in the weakest being snuffed out. Fluttershy had long accepted the fact that even she couldn't save every creature in Equestria, and for the world to truly be in balance, sometimes life had to make room for other life. But she still considered it her duty to take care of any creature that crossed her path in need of shelter.

This was, of course, all on top of her duty as co-judiciary as part of Princess Twilight's retinue. Messenger birds would regularly come bringing news of some ill or another that had befallen any number of citizens which required the guidance of the elements of harmony, and this usually demanded a good deal of her attention. Every week, her and her friends met at Twilight's castle to directly receive any grievances that Mayor Mare could not accommodate. Sometimes there were many ponies flooding through their door to seek guidance, but as often as not, there were only a few or none at all, and the girls would spend the majority of the day simply chatting, socializing and otherwise catching up together. It was a nice little pattern that Fluttershy had grown quite accustomed to, and for their services, she and the other ponies received (in her modest opinion) a rather generous accommodation from the royal treasury, which she had been using to expand her wildlife rehabilitation habitat even further, allowing her to care for a far greater number of animals, and even hire on some ponies to help her with all of the work that entailed.

Overall, Fluttershy was quite pleased with the way things had progressed for her and her friends. About the only blemish upon her world she could think of was the absence of Spike the Dragon. She and all of her friends missed him terribly, and Twilight had never been quite the same after he had left. She wished she knew more about what had happened to make Spike want to leave so badly. Rainbow Dash and Applejack had their speculations, but Fluttershy hadn't believed most of them.

While he had sprouted up significantly in these past few years, to her, he would always be that adorable baby dragon she had first met on the day before the Summer Sun Celebration. She didn't like the thought of Spike out there in the world, all alone with no one looking after him. Twilight had explained to her that Spike needed to figure this out on his own, but Fluttershy had known Twilight Sparkle long enough to tell that she was profoundly upset by his departure. But she also knew her friend well enough to know that if she was this determined to let Spike have his way, even if it hurt her that much inside, than he must have had a good reason to do so.

She just wished she knew what that reason was.

"I'm finished in the yard Miss Fluttershy!" came an exuberant voice from her back patio.

Fluttershy nearly dropped the celery sticks she had been adding to Angel's dinner platter. She was still not used to keeping hired help around the house, but she was determined to acclimate to the situation, for her animals' sake. The young earth pony helping her run her habitat was a bright and chipper young filly with a yellow coat, a gray mane and a flower pot cutie mark. She had a promising future in landscaping from what Fluttershy had seen, and she owed much of her habitat's success to her skills in setting up and maintaining the grounds around her home. Still, she persisted in addressing Fluttershy as "miss," despite being almost the same age as she was. Part of the territory of being an element of harmony, Fluttershy supposed.

"Thank you, Meadowlark," Fluttershy called out, once she had calmed her surprise. "That's all I needed for today."

The yellow pony actually looked disappointed at being sent home.

"Are you sure you don't need anything else, Miss Fluttershy?" she asked politely.

Fluttershy smiled as she sighed. Meadowlark was such a diligent worker, but sometimes she could be too helpful for her own good.

"Oh, no," Fluttershy assured you. "You've done more than enough today! Thank you very, very much for all your help."

The young mare inclined her head and raised a hoof to wave goodbye.

"Alright then," she said. "See you tomorrow Miss Fluttershy."

Fluttershy waved back as Meadowlark trotted out the door.

"Oh," Fluttershy said, hesitantly. "And it's just Flutter-"

The door slammed shut before she could finish. She sighed, good naturedly. Meadowlark was a kind and diligent young pony, and Fluttershy was glad to have her, but the young mare adhered to courtesy almost more than Fluttershy herself did. She often wondered if Twilight and the rest of her friends found Fluttershy's mannerisms as tiresome as she found Meadowlark's some days.

Making her way back to the kitchen, Fluttershy resumed her preparation of Angel's platter, the white bunny waiting expectantly, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently on the counter top.

"Oh, Angel," Fluttershy chided sweetly, "I haven't forgotten about your supper. Don't you worry."

Angel grumbled indignantly.

"Don't be like that," Fluttershy said, putting the finishing touches on his plate. "Meadowlark is doing us a kind service by working here, and she should expect to get as much of my time as any-pony. Now I'll tell you what - why I don't I throw in a few extra cherry tomatoes on your salad? I know how much you like them."

She topped the platter off with a couple of bright red tomatoes the size of grapes and offered the plate to the white rabbit. The cantankerous critter sniffed at the proffered platter, and snatched it away to carry it off to the far corner of the house to gobble down his supper greedily.

Content that she had satisfied the last of her pets, Fluttershy stretched out her legs. It had been a long, hard day of working outside with her animal habitat, and she was looking forward to taking a nice long soak in the bath.

As she went about her nightly routine, she found herself wondering, not for the first time, whether or not Spike was alright. She had hoped that he would at least write home once in a while - he still should be able to send letters like he had been able to. Though she supposed that he would have been limited to sending them to Canterlot. Still, it worried her, not knowing whether or not he was alright. And it hurt a little, to think that he had went off on his own without considering the impact it would have on the rest of them. Fluttershy knew it wasn't personal - Rainbow and Applejack's speculations notwithstanding, obviously something had happened between Spike and Twilight that had made him decide to leave. And whatever it was, not even Twilight would discuss it.

Fluttershy trusted Twilight. She trusted Spike. But still, she worried. And until she heard from him, she doubted she would stop worrying.

After a long, relaxing bath, Fluttershy went to bed that night thinking of all the things she would be doing the next day. Meadowlark would be helping her clear out some of the refuse that littered the riverbank by her house so that that the critters who made it their home would have plenty of room to move and grow. It was also getting to be about time to clean her bird feeders again, and she was also running out of food for Angel Bunny. She would need to buy some more tomorrow.

So many more chores to do, and all of them unending. Still, Fluttershy didn't mind. If it was to help her animal friends, then it was a task worth doing. She closed her eyes that night, feeling satisfied that whatever lay ahead, she would be up to challenge.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, however, part of her still wondered if she would ever see her friend Spike ever again.

Spike awoke with a start from the same nightmare that had been haunting him night after night. In the dream, he had been back in Ponyville, but he was trying to leave. Only, instead of the wide-stretching landscape that surrounded the town, there lay a great precipice, as if the entire town stood atop an enormous plateau, with a vast expanse of nothingness stretched out in all directions below.

He stood at the edge of town, looking down at the bottomless drop along the edge of town, as all around him, his friends stood there, waiting to see if he would venture off the edge.

"Don't be ridiculous, Spike," Twilight had told him in the dream. "There's no way you'll make it."

"Aint' nothing for you out there," Applejack had warned. "Just a big ol' world full of danger."

"You'll just come crawling back with your tail between your legs!" Rainbow Dash had said, tauntingly. "You'll see!"

"I can do it!" Spike had yelled in retort. "I'm not a baby anymore!"

"But Spikey!" Rarity had gushed. "You are just a baby!"

Spike looked down at his body, and realized that he was suddenly the same short and stubby baby dragon from before, no different than he had been the day he first arrived in Ponyville.

"What!?" Spike gasped in shock as he stared at his hands. "No!"

"Isn't he silly?" Pinkie Pie had laughed. "He thinks he's a big enough dragon to take on the whole world! That's so adorable!"

He looked up as his friends began to tower over him, standing impossibly tall in all their glory. There they were, the elements of harmony, fighting monsters and demons and saving the world. They didn't need him. They would never need him. Who would need a helpless baby like him?

"No!" he cried out again as he took a tumbling step backwards, feeling himself falling into the abyss. "No!"

"Spike!" he heard Flutterhy's voice cry. "Don't go!"

That was when he woke up, dripping with sweat, realizing that he was on his feet and had no idea where he was. Had he been sleep-walking? He looked around in a panic, seeing trees and bushes and fallen logs and dirt and grass and stones, and nothing looked familiar. He wasn't in his cave - this didn't even look like White Tail Wood. Where in Equestria was he? How far had he ran? He was already panting and out of breath, and his feet were sore and aching, and scales covered in dirt like he had been running all night.

He halted his steps and nearly keeled over, out of breath. He was completely lost, and Celestia knew what hour of the night it was. The moon hung high in the sky, and the stars shone clear and bright.

The stars! Twilight had taught him the basics of stellar navigation years ago! It wouldn't be much help since he didn't know where he was starting from, but if he kept the same patch of stars in the same general vicinity, he knew he could at least keep walking in the same direction without getting turned around or start walking in circles.

At least, he hoped he could.

Spike started marching towards where he hoped his cave lay. It didn't help that he was exhausted, shaken and his head was pounding at having just woken up, making it difficult to concentrate on the stars. And when he did, he keep running into branches and brambles and tripping over stones and logs, which tore at his face and legs incessantly.

After walking for what must have been an hour, Spike was no closer to finding any distinguishable landmarks or anything like a clearing or river to follow. In frustration, he scrambled up the trunk of a tree and let out a gout of flame in the sky to light up the surrounding area, and sending a million birds flapping away in every direction.

Nothing! There was nothing to be seen for what appeared to be miles wherever he turned! He was completely lost.

Despair eating away at his heart, Spike stumbled back down the tree, before slipping and falling hard onto the forest floor. Tears clawed their way down his face as he began hurrying through the woods, desperate to find shelter. Spike felt defeated - so utterly defeated that he wanted to curl up into a ball and die. The nightmares were becoming real; the world was chipping away at his resolve, and remained unbent as Spike continued to be battered and harried about like a ship in a storm.

Branches continued to rip at his face, and he tasted blood in his mouth, probably from the fall, and he was feeling dizzier by the minute. He felt cold and afraid and so utterly alone. The world didn't care about him. He didn't matter. He wasn't important. He wasn't some hero or prince or knight in shining armor. He was just Spike.

Falling to his knees, the young dragon let out a howl of anguish that echoed through the trees.

In the end, that's all he had ever been. Just helpless, hopeless, pathetic little Spike.

He roared.

Fluttershy was woken up by a loud banging noise, and gasped as she sat bolt upright in her bed, her heart racing from surprise. It was the middle of the night, and there was a hurried tapping sound as well as a flurry of panicked bird-noises coming from outside her bedroom window.

"My goodness!" Fluttershy exclaimed as she sat up from her bed and turned on the light. She hurried out of bed and rushed over to the window, throwing it open to see one of her messenger birds, fluttering and cooing, hopping about in a tizzy, a flurry of feathers everywhere.

"What in Equestria is the matter, Mister Feathers?" Fluttershy said, as the bird continued to flap about, sending feathers flying.

Mister Feathers, a simple white pigeon, continued fluttering his wings and chirping rapidly, seemingly in a panic.

"Yes, yes," Fluttershy nodded, listening to the bird's woes. "Go on."

The pigeon fluttered and chirped again, gesturing fervently towards the forest with its beak.

"Oh dear!" Fluttershy's eyes widened. "That does sound bad. I'd best go see what it is."

The young mare snatched a warm coat and a flashlight and hurried out the door, making a beeline towards the Everfree Forest.

If it had been even three years ago, Fluttershy would have went to one of her friends for help, but in the recent years, she and the ponies of Ponyville had grown more comfortable with their neighboring woodland since Discord's plunderseeds had all dried up. Fluttershy may have guilted the draconequus into undoing some of the deadlier affects they'd had on the forest. He'd compromised by leaving the less harmful things, such as the poison joke. His argument had been that 'poor Zecora' would have nothing left to do if the ponies of Ponyville didn't need her to concoct the occasional spell or potion to remedy something. Fluttershy knew that Discord just enjoyed causing mischief, but she settled for his compromise - after all, it had been the poison joke that ultimately allowed her to sing with the Ponytones and finally brave the stage, at least in front of her friends.

Mister Feathers lead Fluttershy deeper and deeper into the forest, chirping at regular intervals so that she could follow along. Fluttershy was galloping now, flashlight under-wing, relying on her messenger pigeon to guide her through the woods. The bird hadn't been able to articulate what was wrong, but she could tell that he hadn't seen anything quite like what he'd seen in the forest in a long, long time. That alone was reason enough for Fluttershy to investigate. If it turned out to be something she couldn't handle, then she would go get the others, she decided. If it wasn't an emergency that concerned the rest of Ponyville, such as an injured animal, she hoped she might be able to handle it herself. It would not be the first time some-pony had overreacted to the frightening noises made by an animal who was simply wailing in pain.

Fluttershy skidded to a halt, however, when she heard a loud roar echo through the woods, practically shaking the trees and sending every bird, including Mr. Feathers, scattering wildly. Frightening noises indeed, she thought with a grimace. Whatever was making this sound was either in a lot of pain, or very, very upset, and was definitely big, whatever it was.

No longer needing her bird to lead the way with all the commotion, Fluttershy bravely ventured towards whatever beast was making the noise. Whatever it was, she hoped by all the stars above that she could help it.

Spike heard a voice from memory, and he seized up in anguish at the taunting nightmare that clawed at his consciousness.

"Spike..." the voice said.

He was back on the edge of Ponyville, looking down into the chasm that surrounded it. He was falling again, and the voices of his friends kept taunting him.

"I'm sorry..." he breathed, flailing his arms helplessly. "I...I can't..."

"Spike..." the voice repeated.

Spike thrashed about, his mind in a haze, half conscious, and half obscured in nightmare. The world around him seemed to make no sense anymore.

"Please..." he muttered as he reached out to void, eyes red from tears. "Help..."

Spike felt dizzy, like he was swimming through an ocean of impenetrable loneliness, struggling to come up for air as the waves of grief kept crashing down around him.

"Spike...?" the voice sounded much closer now.

He didn't know who it was who was calling to him, but he latched onto it like it was the most precious thing in the world.

"Help me..." he begged the voice. "Don't leave me alone..."

He felt the voice grow stronger.

"Spike!?"

Suddenly, he felt like he was yanked out of the murky depths of his fever dream, as a pair of cloven forelegs lifted him up and turned him onto his back, causing his head to flop backwards, jerking him back to full consciousness.

At least, he thought he was fully conscious. But here was another memory trying to worm its way back into his psyche.

This time, it was Fluttershy. And for some reason, she seemed to be bathed in light.

"Fluttershy..." he said her name, blinking through the tears. Of all of his friends he had hurt, she was probably the one he felt the worst about. "I'm...I'm so sorry..."

The look on her face was the same look of concern and worry that he had grown to expect of her, but there was an immediacy to it that he was not used to.

"Don't talk," she commanded, sweetly but insistently, resting a hoof against his forehead. "I've got you. You're safe now. Oh dear, you're burning up a fever...how long have you been out here?"

Spike felt dizzy and his eyes were still half lidded, but he could have sworn he saw Fluttershy holding his body between her forelegs, peering down at him as if nursing a patient.

He saw her spend a few moments more inspecting him, before she began chewing on her lower lip.

"I...don't know enough about caring for dragons..." she said to herself, before craning her neck to call out towards the darkness. "Mister Feathers, go get Twilight Sparkle!"

Twilight!

Spike's eyes shot open in an instant. "What!? No! Don't!"

Fluttershy looked down at him in utter shock. "Wh-what? But..but Spike..."

"Please!" Spike begged, desperately, adrenaline coursing through his system. "I can't...I don't...please don't tell her..."

Fluttershy furrowed her brow as her better judgement conflicted with her need to honor her friends' wishes.

"Spike..." she muttered. "We have to tell Twilight! You're very sick! She might be the only one who can help you!"

To Fluttershy's horror, Spike rolled himself back onto all fours and with a great effort, heaved himself up and began to limp away.

"I have to get away, then..." he breathed to himself in desperation. "I can't...let her see me like this..."

"Spike!" Fluttershy gasped, getting to her feet almost too late to catch him as he inevitably stumbled back to the ground. "Stop it! You'll hurt yourself!"

Spike wasn't even strong enough to respond. By the stars, he was a mess! Cuts and bruises, even through his scales, and he was absolutely shivering from the cold! With a yank, Fluttershy tugged off her wool coat and draping it over Spike's shoulders.

Just what happened between him and Twilight that made him so desperate to flee?

Fluttershy steeled herself. It was her duty to take care of any creature that crossed her path in need of shelter. Spike was no exception.

"Mister Feathers," Fluttershy called out to her messenger bird. "Never mind Princess Twilight. I want you to go find Meadowlark instead. I need her to help me carry him."

With a tweet, the white pigeon fluttered off in the direction towards Ponyville.

Spike was still breathing heavily amidst Fluttershy's forelegs as she glowered down at him.

"Listen to me, Spike," she said, her voice full of conflicting emotions. "I won't tell Twilight, okay? I don't know what's happened, but I promise not to tell any-pony just yet. Just please...please don't run off again! I can't..."

Fluttershy hiccuped as the tears came.

"I can't bear to see you hurt like this, Spike..." she sobbed, her heart spilling out over his unmoving form. "You've been gone for so long, and I...I...I just...missed you, okay?"

Spike did not respond. He was still shivering and breathing shallow breaths. Fluttershy wrapped the wool coat over his body more tightly, trying to stave off the worst of the night cold while she waited for Meadowlark. She hoped her protege wouldn't be angry with her for waking her up so late, but this was an emergency, and from the sound of it, Spike was still running from Twilight. Fluttershy hadn't wanted to get another of Twilight's friends involved, for they too would feel the need to share what she'd found with the Princess. But Meadowlark was faithful to Fluttershy, and she knew her student would keep a secret for her.

The question was, for how long?

"Oh Spike..." Fluttershy muttered soothingly as she stroked his head. "What's happened to you?"

As the shock began to wear off, and she took some time to inspect the dragon for any injuries she might have overlooked, when it suddenly registered in her head why something seemed so off about him. She had to angle her flashlight beneath the coat on his shoulders to be sure, but there was something on Spike's back that hadn't been there when he'd left.

Two somethings, as a matter of fact.

A pair of wings.

They were small for his size and did not seem to be fully formed, but those were undoubtedly wings on his back. And they had not been there when last she had seen Spike a little over half a year ago.

She looked down at the young dragon, a look of dread in her eyes.

"Oh Spike..." she breathed in a tremulous voice, now even more worried than ever. "What's happened to you?"

Spike could faintly recall waking up at various points during the night. He saw Fluttershy and another yellow pony he didn't recognize, and he had the vague sensation of being dragged on some kind of sledge. Afterwards, he recalled being in a warm bed, and various images of Fluttershy spooning water, as well as a sweet-tasting medicine between his lips. He slipped in and out of dreams, sometimes seeing Twilight, sometimes seeing his other friends, but mostly seeing Fluttershy, though he couldn't be sure if he was seeing her in his dreams or in real life.

His first cognizant thought was that he had a splitting headache, and when he opened his eyes, the bright sunlight stung, forcing him to squint.

"Nnnng," he groaned in irritation as he tried to turn away from the sunlight.

His whole body ached and his joints were stiff, and he felt incredibly weak. But he also felt surprisingly warm. The bed he was in was rather soft and welcoming, and he didn't feel terribly inclined to leave it anytime soon.

No long afterward, he heard the sound of approaching hoof-beats, and through squinting eyes he could see Fluttershy leaning over him, placing a warm washcloth over his forehead.

Fluttershy? That was weird. Why was she here? She should be back in Ponyville. Unless...his memory was a haze, but he could vaguely recall wandering through the woods at night, falling down at some point, and then...Fluttershy was there? And then...stairs...and a bed? And that could only mean that...he was in Fluttershy's house.

He was back in Ponyville!

Spike suddenly jerked awake, sitting bolt upright.

"Fluttershy!" he blurted, before the world suddenly started spinning wildly and he collapsed back onto the bed.

The yellow mare responded to the sudden outburst with a high pitched "Eep!" recoiling backwards, the wet washcloth flying across the room, as she landed awkwardly on her haunches with an audible fwoomp.

"Spike!" she cried, looking absolutely amazed. "You're awake!"

Spike was still seeing stars, clenching his eyes, both from the sunlight and from the haze his mind was in. He reached up to both shield his eyes from the sunlight with hand and rub his eyes with the other, his arms feeling like they were each weighed down with a sack of bricks.

"How did I get here?" he groaned, squinting through tears at the young mare. "How long was I asleep?"

Fluttershy had hurried over to the window to lower the blinds, giving Spike's eyes some much needed relief.

"Umm...just a day or so," she said, reassuringly. "You were out in woods at night and you caught a fever."

Spike let out a sigh as the blinds came down, allowing his eyebrows to unclench, but letting his eyes remain closed as the reality of his situation sank in. This was all just so messed up. Somehow he had gotten himself lost during the night, sleep walking until he had gotten himself completely turned around. He could vaguely recall the nightmare he had experience, though the last thing he could truly remember was curling up in the back of the small cave that had been his dwelling for the last few months. As laid up as he was, he realized that as lost and as sick as he had become, there was no way he could have found shelter on his own. And if Fluttershy had not found him in the woods, against all odds, things would have only gotten worse. He couldn't be sure of how or why she had been out there, but if she hadn't found him when she did, he had no illusions - he would not have survived the night on his own.

He owed her his gratitude for saving his life. He owed her an apology for his absence over the last year. He owed her so many things, he just didn't know where to start.

His stumbling thoughts were interrupted, however, when she returned with the warm washcloth under-wing - he hadn't even noticed her leave to soak it in the sink again - to place it on his forehead.

It felt absolutely wonderful.

"There you go," she said sweetly, in full patient care mode. "How are you feeling? Any better?"

Spike let out another sigh, this one of relief from the warm compress. "Yeah...a little..."

"Oh, thank goodness," Fluttershy smiled wanly, though there was an odd distance to her voice. "I'm so glad you're doing better. I don't know much about treating sick dragons, so I could only treat you the way I've treated other ponies..."

Spike's eyes flickered open as he studied her, troubled by the odd way her voice trailed.

"Fluttershy..." he said when she wouldn't meet his gaze. "I-"

"Spike..." she interrupted, reaching for one of his claws with her hoof, finally revealing her eyes filled with tears, her voice turning into a sob. "Where have you been!?"

The damn of professionalism that had kept her from voicing such feelings until after her patient was better evaporated in an instant, and as the raw hurt in her voice and her eyes shocked Spike to silence, the young mare began to shake with unfettered grief as near a dozen moons of uncertainty and fear bubbled to the surface.

"Do you have any idea how worried we all were!?" she sobbed, holding his claw with both hooves now. "We never got one single letter from you since you left! Not one! We had no idea if you were alright! We didn't know where you were, or if were happy or safe, or if you were ever going to come back! You just...left, without any warning or explanation!"

With every word she spoke, Spike felt the weight grow heavier, as full scope of his mistake sank in. He hadn't just abandoned Twilight, he had abandoned every one of his friends. Some of them would probably not let the impact of such an action show - he very much doubted Rainbow Dash or Applejack would be so affected by his departure - but Fluttershy? She was the most sensitive soul Spike had ever known! How could he have imagined she would take his leaving?

In all his years, he had never imagined any-pony would ever cry over him. Not like this.

"I'm..." he croaked, his voice cracking in tears of his own. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, Fluttershy...I..."

He was interrupted when she threw both forelegs around his shoulders and hugged him so tightly he started seeing stars again.

"Don't you ever do this again, Spike!" she hiccuped, her whole body trembling. "If you need to go somewhere, that's fine, but don't shut us out like that! Please!"

Spike, feeling more and more responsible for the damage he had done, reached up to bring his claws around her back and gently returned the embrace.

"I won't..." he promised, feeling more ashamed than ever. "Oh, Fluttershy, I didn't mean to hurt you like this. Please...don't cry..."

Fluttershy released her hold on the young dragon as she wiped her face with a sniff.

"It's alright..." she said shakily, rubbing her cheeks with her forelegs. "You're safe now, back in Ponyville. Everything's going to be fine."

"Ponyville...right..." Spike swallowed nervously, as he pondered the implications of just what would be happening next. "Umm...who else knows I'm here?"

Fluttershy frowned. "None of our friends know. Just my assistant, Meadowlark. But Spike...you should really let me tell every-pony that you're here. They'll all want to know that you're safe."

Spike shook his head, not wanting to make eye contact with the yellow pegasus.

"I...I can't," he said, weakly. "Not right now."

Fluttershy nodded, trying to be understanding. She supposed he had just been through quite an ordeal. And if any-pony could understand not wanting to be made a spectacle of, it was her. She just hoped her friends would forgive her for keeping this a secret.

"Alright Spike..." she allowed, deferring to his needs as her patient. "But I do wish you'd reconsider. You all have so much to catch up on. You even have a new set of wings to show them."

Spike was suddenly suspicious that he was still dreaming. Had he heard her correctly?

"Wings?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes indeed," Fluttershy nodded politely. "They're quite impressive, Spike. When did they start growing in?"

Spike shook his head. "What are you talking about, Fluttershy? I don't have any wings."

The young mare blinked in bewilderment. "Oh...um...well...I don't mean to contradict you, Spike...but it would appear that you do..."

Spike sighed, sitting up in the bed. He wasn't sure what exactly she was getting at with this, but he supposed he should at least play along to appease the young mare. She was clearly rather distraught, and he supposed it would be impolite of him to...

Then a light fwoomp sounded as Spike felt the oddest sensation of a pair of limbs that he hadn't known he possessed extending out from his back. They weren't much larger than serving trays, but they were still pretty sizeable by any standard. And as Spike stretched the muscles in his back, he found that he could wave them around!

"Wh-what the hay!?" he blurted, craning his neck and reaching behind his back to feel the scales of his newly acquired appendages, which seem to have become quite numb having been lying on them all this time. "When did these get here!?"

Fluttershy looked away awkwardly. "Oh...um...so this is quite a recent development, I take it?"

Spike tilted his entire body to one side as he held one of his wings with both claws, stretching out the leathery webbing.

"These weren't here when I went to sleep!" he blared, wide-eyed and panicked. "How could these have grown in just a day? What in Equestria is happening to me!?"

Fluttershy withered under Spike's shouting. "I-I don't know, Spike...they were there when I found you in the woods. I don't know that much about dragon physiology, but perhaps Twilight might be able to shed some light on this situation."

Twilight again! Spike simply did not have the mental fortitude to ponder how much of lecture he'd be in for should she discover that he'd returned!

"Twilight is the last pony I need to see right now!" he groaned, sitting upright in the bed, arms crossed in agitation.

This whole situation was hilariously absurd, he thought. Here he was, having returned from a year long absence, unbeknownst to any of his friends save for Fluttershy, and his body chose now, of all times, to start rebelling on him?

He returned his gaze to Fluttershy, who looked to be struggling to come up with a solution to amend the situation.

"Fluttershy," he asked gently. "You've already done so much for me already...but I need a favor."

Fluttershy's eyes widened, eager to help. "What is it, Spike?"

Spike scratched his chin. It'd been a while since he'd thought about books of any sort, but as he searched through the recesses of his memory, a few titles came to mind.

"I need you to go to the Crystal Library, and bring back any book you can find that might explain what's happening to me," he pleaded. "Start with Dragonology 101 and maybe check out History of Dragons by Starswirl the Bearded, but anything that mentions dragons growing wings."

Fluttershy nodded, earnestly. "That's a good idea, Spike. I'll head right over!"

Then she hesitated.

"Wait..." she thought. "Suppose I run into Twilight? Or one of the others?"

Spike gulped. He hadn't thought of that.

"Tell them..." he scratched his chin. "Tell them that you're just researching dragons. It wouldn't be a lie."

Fluttershy frowned. "That would be lying by omission, Spike. I won't do that to a friend."

Spike sighed in exasperation. "Fine. Just...try to avoid any-pony if you can, then."

Fluttershy pouted in a manner that Spike found...rather cute, if he was being perfectly honest with himself.

"This still feels wrong, Spike," she said, wrinkling her nose in anxiety. "Keeping this a secret from every-pony..."

Spike withered under her gaze. "I know, but..."

Fluttershy pursed her lips and raised her head. "Three days. I'll give you three days to get better, Spike. If you haven't come forward to the rest of our friends by then, then I will tell them myself."

Spike's jaw dropped. "B-but..."

Fluttershy shook her head. "I'm sorry, Spike. But I won't keep this a secret for longer than that."

It broke her heart to be so forceful with the young dragon, but she knew she had to be adamant about this. She knew from experience that she had to be cruel to be kind in some cases, no matter how much it might hurt to do so. Spike was important to her, but so were the rest of her friends as well, and she wasn't about to let herself become a crutch for Spike to lean on or hide behind.

Otherwise, he would never get over whatever it was that happened a year ago.

Fluttershy turned and slowly stepped towards the door, leaving Spike to ponder his situation.

"I'll go see what I can find at the library," she said simply. "If I'm gone for long, know that Meadowlark will be by later to check on things here."

Spike didn't respond. He had rolled over in his bed - her bed, as the case was - though she suspected he was not sleeping.

Her expression softened. She hadn't asked him what had happened between him and Twilight yet, as she sensed that it may not have been the best time to do so. She just hoped he would forgive him for not showing more sympathy for his circumstances, but she also had her other friends to consider, and that should matter to him as well. She couldn't shake the feeling that Spike was hiding something very serious, even from her. And while she wasn't one to pry, she certainly hoped that whatever it was did not do anything to damage his friendship with any of the others.

"Try to get some rest..." she said quietly as she left.

Fluttershy had a troubled look on her face all the way to the Crystal Library. She had never felt more conflicted about anything before. All the trouble she had dealt with in the past had eventually had a clear right answer, even if that answer was a difficult one. But this? Part of her was certain that keeping Spike's return a secret from her friends was wrong, but another part of her was determined to honor her friendship with Spike and not go against his wishes. Which part was right? Surely the first part, right? More of her friends would be hurt by hiding the truth than would be hurt by telling it, right?

But could she live with herself making either decision?

Fluttershy straightened her back as she walked, determined to put on a brave face. She had given Spike three days to get his act together. After going through such an ordeal, three days was not an unreasonable amount of time to recuperate. And he just seemed so distraught over the prospect of seeing all their friends after so long, which she could understand. He had been gone for a whole year; her friends wouldn't miss him for another few days, right?

Fluttershy tiptoed into the Crystal Library, not letting her hoofs hit the marble floor hard enough to make a sound.

Right, she thought. And what made her so special that she got to keep that secret for herself for three whole days? Just because one of her birds happened to see Spike in the Everfree Forest? Just because she happened to arrive just in time to save him? Did that somehow entitle her to something more-so than her other friends?

Did it not?

As Fluttershy made her way to the Biology of Magical Creatures' section of the library, her mind was somewhere else entirely. While she was not one given to believe in things like fate or destiny, that did not change the fact that Spike had come to her. Not Rarity, not Twilight...by some twist of chance, Spike had wound up lying sick in her bed that morning. She had woken up in the middle of the night to save him. She had gone above and beyond to help her friend. Did that not entitle her to a little more of his time and appreciation? Was that so selfish of her?

Fluttershy had visited this section of the library for various occasions of needing to research animal physiology and behavior in the past, and was quite familiar with many of the books here. Flipping through pages, she idly browsed rhetorical data on dragons that she had known since she was a filly. Every so often, there emerged an interesting tidbit that she had not known, but so far, there was nothing that might help some-pony care for a dragon who was sick or injured, and there was absolutely no mention of growing wings, or anything to do with growth cycles at all.

Then she came across a book called Dragons: Ritual and Evolution. Eyes wide and interest piqued, she began to peruse the parchment, and was amazed by what she discovered. Apparently, dragons did not grow the way that ponies grew. In fact, if left to their own devices, a dragon could potentially remain in its immature state for centuries at a time. To reach certain stages of growth, a specific hierarchy of criteria had to be reached. These stages of development were normally attained through ritual in various dragon cultures, to symbolize a dragon's growth into adulthood. Most of these criteria were self-explanatory - for example, when provided with their physiological needs, such as food, warmth and shelter, a dragon grows from infancy to childhood. But for older levels of maturity, the requirements seemed to become more subtle, and more internal.

One passage that caught Fluttershy's eye read that for a dragon to pass beyond adolescence, several more tiers had to be overcome. The first was focused on safety, and could only be surpassed only when the dragon was provided with security, stability, and freedom from fear. That made sense to Fluttershy, as dragons were vain and prideful beasts, and flourished when surrounded by creature comforts. Spike's behavior alone was evidence of this, and judging by the illustration in the book, he had since reached this stage. But after this stage came another, that of belonging and love. At this stage, the dragon could only grow further if they had attained proper companionship, such as friendship, family, or a mate. Beyond this stage lay the journey into adulthood, and could only be achieved by surpassing the stage of self-esteem, which could be attained through a dragon's achievement, recognition or respect. And it was at this stage, Fluttershy saw from the illustration, that most dragons attained their wings.

All this reading brought up more questions than it answered, but Fluttershy seemed to be on the right track. It seemed reasonable to assume that growing up with Twilight had provided Spike with all the physiological and safety needs that he required. And surely, between her and their other friends, they had been able to provide Spike with enough companionship to satisfy his need for belonging and love. His journey away from Ponyville, it seemed, was all about the fourth stage, self-esteem. And from what she'd gathered, that had been exactly what Spike had been looking for, a chance to prove himself and attain recognition and respect. It occurred to Fluttershy that Spike had tried something like this once before a few years ago, when he went off searching for other dragons. Evidently he hadn't found what he had been looking for, and so felt compelled to try again, even after all this time.

There was one more stage after self-esteem that had to do with self-actualization, and usually did not occur until later on in life, when the dragon was well into adulthood and on the verge of becoming an elder, so Fluttershy skipped past that part, and found a passage detailing the specific rituals dragons used to perform in order to satisfy these particular cycles. They all seemed to conglomerate into a great, annual coming-of-age ceremony that all juvenile dragons within a fleet participated in. The first part involved a grand feast that lasted almost a week, and normally involved every dragon born that year gorging on as much food as they could. After the feast, the young dragons were left with their mothers in the place of their hatching, usually a deep, warm volcanic cavern, where they were allowed to remain for several days, digesting and resting in relative isolation. Oftentimes, the young dragons would even enter a state of hibernation during this phase. If any dragon had not matured to adolescence by the end of this period of isolation, they were left with no recourse but to try again the next year. Often, it could take several years and several ceremonies before the dragons matured to this point.

For those that reached adolescence came the third part, during which the young dragons were allowed to mingle, and - Fluttershy's cheeks colored bright red - encouraged to mate with a member of the opposite sex from within their age group. Dragons, being so long-lived, seldom mated for life, but it was not unheard of for these first mated pairs to remain together for centuries. Then, the day after this first night of copulation, the dragons were turned loose upon the world, whereupon they must accomplish some task to prove their worth - usually acquiring some valuable gem or felling some large beast. Often, mated pairs would go on this journey together. But some dragons had been known to circumnavigate the globe during this process, and according to the book, the specific task depended largely on the dragon themselves, and had been known to take years in some cases. It was during this stage that the young dragons were meant to discover themselves and learn who they really were. And at the conclusion of this venture, the dragon usually began growing their wings, and by this point, were considered an adult.

Fluttershy's heart raced as she read. More and more, this was sounding like Spike's situation. The clues were adding up, not just about what had caused his wings to grow like they had, but what had spurned him into leaving Ponyville in the first place. The only part that wasn't clicking was the third stage - had she and her friends not been providing Spike with enough of companionship and sense of belonging to satisfy this stage of his growth long ago? Why had it taken so long for this urge to attain self-esteem to kick in, and more importantly, what had caused it happened so suddenly a year ago? In the book, it had said that the young dragons would begin their journey of self-discovery almost immediately after their desire to mate had been satisfied.

If the same held true for Spike...then that would mean...

"Hello?"

Fluttershy let out a shrill "Eep!" as she jerked in response to the voice, sending the book up into the air. She fumbled, blithely, trying to catch the book before it hit the floor, before she managed to clasp both her hooves around it, which unfortunately caused it to slam shut with a loud thump, shattering any chance of her remaining unnoticed.

"Ummm...yes?" she looked up sheepishly from the floor where she sat in the library, a pile of books around her.

Twilight Sparkle was smiling at her from the open door that lead out into the main hall.

"Oh!" she called out, walking up to her. "Fluttershy! I didn't realize you were here."

Fluttershy nodded and smiled nervously, slowly getting to her feet, feeling completely stiff-jointed. How long had she been here? She glanced idly at the window, and realized that the sun was hanging low in the horizon. It had been just around the lunch hour when she'd left the house; she'd been here all afternoon!

"Oh, hello Twilight," she said cordially. "I was just doing some research. I got kind of absorbed."

Twilight nodded at the substantial pile of books. "So I can see. What are you studying?"

Fluttershy had Dragons: Ritual and Evolution under her wing, which she withdrew to show to Twilight.

"Dragons," she said simply. "Actually, I was wondering if I might check this book out."

Twilight's expression was unreadable as she glanced at the book in her wing.

"Alright," she nodded, agreeably. "Is that the only one you'll be needing?"

Fluttershy nodded. "I think so, yes."

Twilight's horn glowed, and a quill and parchment appeared in front of her, where she wrote down the order to Fluttershy's book. At the same time, all the other books on the floor around Fluttershy's feet lifted off the ground as Twilight re-shelved them each into their appropriate place with her magic. Ever since Spike had left, Twilight had been left to handle such menial tasks on her own.

"Why the interest?" Twilight asked nonchalantly as she magicked away her quill and parchment.

Fluttershy hesitated. She had told Spike that he wouldn't tell any-pony for three days, but she had also told him that she would not lie by omission.

Twilight was her friend, she reasoned. She could be trusted. Still, it would be best to ease her into it.

"It's about Spike, actually," Fluttershy admitted.

Twilight's expression darkened, and Fluttershy felt a cold knot form in her stomach. Suddenly, this didn't seem like such a good idea after all. Was this what Spike had been worried about?

"What about him?" Twilight asked, soberly.

Fluttershy chewed on her lip, before pulling open the book she had found.

"Well..." she stammered, choosing her words carefully. "It's been a whole year since he's left. Don't you think he should have come back by now?"

Twilight frowned. "I don't know. And frankly, I don't particularly care at this point."

Fluttershy's eyes widened. "Twilight...you don't mean that."

"What makes you think I don't?" she snorted. "And why exactly are you bringing this up?"

Fluttershy wanted to tell her the truth. She knew she should. But something inside her made her hold her tongue. Something about Twilight's reaction made her feel like any knowledge of her erstwhile dragon companion would only serve to cause pain. Her mouth hung open for a moment longer, before she began flipping through pages in her book until she found the page she had just been on.

"Well...look here," she said, pointing at the illustration on the page. "Apparently most young dragons go through some kind of coming of age ceremony. It's a tradition going back so far in dragon culture that many parts of it are practically instinctual."

"The five stages of dragon evolution," Twilight said brusquely. "I know all about it, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy blinked, surprised. Twilight was a smart pony, had she seriously not connected the dots? "Then...you know about the third stage where-"

"Where the dragons basically go into heat?" Twilight finished the thought flippantly, looking more and more agitated. "Yeah. I know that part too."

Fluttershy had never heard Twilight speak so dismissively before. "And then...afterward, they feel the need to go out into the world and prove themselves, right?"

Twilight wrinkled her nose, looking downright annoyed now. "Is there a point to all this, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy winced at the implied accusation. "Well...umm...don't you think this sounds familiar?"

Twilight rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "Obviously! I've known that's what this was about since the day he left, Fluttershy. So Spike's on a pilgrimage of self-discovery. So what? He's probably off gallivanting across Equestria doing Celestia knows what by now! And you know what? Good for him!"

Fluttershy's mouth hung agape. This didn't sound like the Twilight she knew. "Twilight...aren't you worried about him? He may not even know why he felt the compulsion to leave in the first place."

Twilight flipped her mane back and glowered. "It doesn't matter why he wants what he wants, Fluttershy. He's not our responsibility anymore. Sure, I could cast a finding spell right now and find him if I wanted to! And what would that accomplish? If he wants to go prove himself in some kind of arcane dragon ritual, then that's his business. But I've got more important things to be doing than worry about his scaly butt all day."

Fluttershy was shocked. She had never heard her friend utter such hurtful words before! And about someone who she had been so close to! It didn't make any sense! Had she completely detached herself from the young dragon such that she didn't even acknowledge him as her friend anymore?

Twilight took a deep breath and seemed to calm down a bit. "Look...I didn't mean to blow up like that. This is just a...touchy subject for me, alright? Can we talk about something else please?"

Fluttershy chewed her lip as she stared at the floor.

"Actually...I should probably get going..." she said, feeling more than a little helpless.

She wanted to ask her friend why she was feeling this way! Clearly something was wrong, and she wanted to help! But pressing the issue clearly wasn't the way to go about doing it. She needed to find out more, and she had a feeling she knew who else would know.

"I didn't realize how late it was," Fluttershy explained. "My assistant is probably waiting for me at home. I should make sure she has everything she needs."

Twilight sighed and nodded. "Alright Fluttershy. Sorry to go off the deep end on you there."

Fluttershy nodded, understandingly. "It's alright Twilight. You know you can always talk to me about these things, right?"

Twilight smiled. "I appreciate that. Have a nice evening."

The violet princess watched as Fluttershy made her way out of the stacks and back out into the main hall towards the exit. Then she trotted up the stairs to her reading lounge and flopped over onto her favorite couch cushion and sighed.

What was the matter with her?

As Fluttershy made her way home, her mind was was filled with more questions than she had when she'd set out to begin with. First and foremost - why was Twilight so angry with Spike? She couldn't imagine him doing something that would hurt her enough for her to treat him like that. Then again, it could be that part of the reason he had left is that he had done something he was ashamed of and couldn't bear to see her again. But Spike wasn't the sort of dragon who could do something like that to Twilight...was he?

There was a lingering possibility at the back of her mind that Fluttershy had been refusing to acknowledge, and the more and more she examined Twilight and Spike's behavior, the more likely it seemed. Could Rainbow Dash and Applejack's teasing japes have been right all along? Still, it wouldn't do for her to make such assumptions about her friends.

She braced herself as her home came into view, and was pleased to find Meadowlark hard at work clearing debris out of stream that ran by her house. She had completely forgotten about her chores that day! She was sorry to make Meadlowlark do all that work by herself, but she was also glad that at least one of them had remembered. She just hoped that Angel would be okay with leftovers tonight.

Her fears were answered when she entered her room and saw Angel and Spike engaged in a stand-off of sorts, as Spike guarded a bowl of soup in his lap with a spoon while Angel seemed to be angling in for a pounce at the comparatively massive dragon for his food.

"Angel!" Fluttershy chastised as she entered the room. "No! That's Spike's dinner!"

The white rabbit withered under her accusatory stare and hopped away.

Spike looked relieved. "Thanks, Fluttershy! For a minute there, I thought I was going to lose my lunch. Literally!"

Fluttershy rolled her eyes and smiled. Still the same Spike after all these years.

"Hi Spike," she said by way of greeting. "I see Meadowlark was kind enough to fix you some supper."

Spike nodded, spooning some of the warm broth into his mouth. "Mm-hm!"

The yellow pegasus placed the book she was carrying on the bedside table.

"I...believe I may have discovered a clue about your wings," she offered, guardedly.

Spike's eyebrows rose at that as he swallowed what was in his mouth. "Really? What did you find?"

Fluttershy took a breath. "First, I need you to tell me something, if you don't mind. Why...exactly...did you leave Ponyville?"

Spike withered under Fluttershy's gaze. "Well...lots of reasons. I guess...mostly because I was just tired of being Spike the assistant."

Fluttershy frowned. "So...one day, you just woke up and realized that you wanted more?"

Spike scratched the back of his head. "Well...no, I...sorta had a fight with Twilight..."

Fluttershy nodded. The pieces were starting to fall together.

"You have feelings for her...don't you?"

Spike's eyebrows shot up in surprise! He hadn't expected Fluttershy to guess that right off the bat like that! But then again, he supposed he hadn't been particularly discreet in the way he had been behaving. He pursed his lips, his eyebrows knotting together, and look away.

"You told her...didn't you?" he asked, sternly.

"Spike..." Fluttershy frowned. "Please, answer me..."

"Had," Spike said, firmly. "I had feelings for her. That's over. Now does she know I'm here or not?"

Fluttershy's heart sank. So it was true.

"No, she doesn't" Fluttershy sighed. "I was going to tell her when she asked, but...she just seemed so upset when I mentioned you that it...just didn't feel like it was my place to tell her."

Spike exhaled a breath of palpable relief. "...Thanks, Fluttershy."

The young mare nodded, but did not smile.

"Obviously, you still have very strong feelings one way or another," she pointed out. "Otherwise you would not be so adamant about staying away from her."

Spike turned a stern gaze towards her, and she felt her heart skip at the intimidating look in his eye.

"Maybe at first," he admitted. "Spike the assistant wasn't good enough for her, so I decided to become more than that. At first I thought it was for her. And then I realized, it was for me."

Fluttershy nodded. "And when did you realize that?"

Spike put another spoon-full of soup in his mouth as he thought.

"I met an old dragon," he said slowly, his eyes lost in thought. "Up by the Smokey Mountain. He was dying. He kept asking me why I had come there. I tried telling him about Twilight, about you and the rest of my friends, about Ponyville and about my life here, but every answer I gave him didn't seem to get a response."

Fluttershy listened in rapt fascination as Spike told his tale.

"It really made me think, you know?" Spike went on. "Why was I there? Why had I left? If you had taken Twilight out of the picture, where would that have left me? What would I be without Twilight? And so I decided that I need to become my own dragon. It didn't matter who respected me if I couldn't respect myself. I couldn't let her define my life like she had been for so many years."

Fluttershy's ears drooped. All these years, she had thought that Spike had cared deeply for Twilight and was content with his life as her assistant. Apparently, she had been mistaken.

"So what did you do?" she asked earnestly.

Spike shrugged. "I told that old dragon that I was trying to find my own path. And then he moved for the first time since I saw him. He touched my chest with one of his claws, getting ash all over my scales."

Fluttershy's heart was in her throat.

"Like a ritual..." she breathed.

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Yeah...kinda. Anyway, after that he...well...I guess that tiny gesture drained the last little bit of strength he had left, because he never woke up after that."

Fluttershy frowned. "Poor thing..."

Spike nodded. "From that point on, I knew that this wasn't about Twilight anymore - it was about me. It was about me being able to respect myself and be proud of who I am. Which is why I can't face her or any of my friends right now. Not until I have something to show for it."

Fluttershy smiled, uneasily. "Well...you do have something to show for it. Your new wings."

He shrugged, giving his new-found wings a little flap. "Yeah. For all the good they do me. I don't know if I'll ever build up the nerve to actually fly."

Her smile became more earnest. "We have that in common, at least. I was terrified of flying when I first started. Still don't really like heights either."

He grinned wryly. "Yeah. I heard about that story."

She watched in silence as he went back to eating, before a thought occurred to her.

"What about me?" she asked.

Spike looked up from his soup, a driblet on his lower lip. "Hm?"

Fluttershy felt herself blushing, nervously. "You said that you couldn't face any of your friends until you had something to show for your journey. What about me? I mean, are you disappointed that I found you the way I did? That I was the one who saw you like that and nursed you back to health?"

Spike swallowed again, and looked away, looking anxious. "Umm...well, I mean...I'm glad you did, of course. I would have...well, I would have been in big trouble if you hadn't. But, I mean...yeah, it's pretty embarrassing to be seen at your lowest point, and to be be this laid up...and in your bed, no less..."

Fluttershy's blush increased, though Spike did not seem to notice.

"But...well...if I had to pick only one pony to take care of me like this," Spike said nervously. "It would probably be you."

Fluttershy's eyes widened. "Me? Why?"

Spike shrugged, smiling. "Cause you're the single nicest pony I've ever known! I mean, come on, your element is kindness! Who wouldn't want to be taken care of by you?"

Fluttershy felt a warm, fluttery feeling in her stomach.

"Well...thank you, Spike..." she said, shyly, before looking around for something to distract from her embarrassment, her eyes settling on the book she had placed on the nightstand. "Anyway, why don't you try looking through this book I found? The part about the five stages of dragon evolution might have something to do with your wings growing in."

Spike placed his empty bowl on the nightstand and reached for the book, flipping open to the page Fluttershy had bookmarked for him. "Alright. I'll see what I can find. Thanks for doing this for me, Fluttershy. It really means a lot to me."

Fluttershy was practically glowing from the praise. "Oh, you're most certainly welcome, Spike. Now, I'm going to go help Meadlowlark outside. I'll come check on you in a little bit."

Spike nodded, smiling back at her before returning to his book.

"Thanks again, Fluttershy."

Spike had objected to spending the night in Fluttershy's bed again, not wanting her to sleep on the couch because of it, but she eventually won the argument. Her couch wasn't all that uncomfortable, really, and besides, Spike was still on the mend and needed a warm, comfortable bed to sleep in.

The next morning, she left early, letting Spike sleep in so she could go to the market and pick up some groceries for Angel Bunny. She had completely forgotten the day before, so she made sure to get plenty of fresh vegetables for the white rabbit's supper.

When she got back, Meadowlark was already outside, feeding the animals around her house. Punctual as usual.

"Good morning, Meadowlark," Fluttershy called as she walked around to the patio out back, setting her shopping basket down just outside the door.

Meadlowlark glanced up from her work by the animal pen and waved back.

"Morning Miss Fluttershy," she said enthusiastically. "That dragon friend of yours is really something! He's been up all morning trying to learn how to fly."

Fluttershy took a breath. "He is? Oh dear! He could get himself hurt. Where is he?"

Meadlowlark pointed out towards the field, where even now Spike could be seen leaping and bounding around in the tall grass.

It had been only a day since they'd grown in, and his wings had already almost doubled in size, and looked much fuller and healthier now, and he was moving them a lot more easily than he had before. After taking a running start, Spike spread his wings and allowed his momentum to carry him upward. He gained a fair bit of air, maybe ten or fifteen feet, before his momentum slowed down and he began to descend. As he did, he wavered, and attempted to flap his wings to stay aloft. With each flap, however, he lost altitude, and inevitably hit the ground with a rolling tumble.

Fluttershy cantered over to where he fell to make sure that he was alright.

"Spike!" she cried out in alarm. "What are you doing out of bed? You should be resting inside!"

Spike lifted his head up from the grass to meet the yellow pegasus' gaze and shook his head to shake off the grass that had accumulated in his frills.

"Oh!" he said, looking somewhat sheepish. "Sorry Fluttershy. But I'm feeling much better now."

"Even so..." Fluttershy scolded, reaching out a hoof to help the young dragon to his feet. "You should be focusing on recovering, not out here, trying to learn something as dangerous as flying."

Spike scratched his head and sighed. "I know, Fluttershy. I'm sorry for making you worry. It's just...I've been thinking about what you said last night. And you were right - I should be proud of these wings. But I need to learn how to use them before my three days are up, otherwise I'll just be making a fool of myself in front of every-pony."

Fluttershy shook her head. "Still, you shouldn't be pushing yourself so hard! Otherwise you could hurt yourself. Or get sick again."

He gave her a playful wink. "Well, then I'll have the best caretaker in Ponyville looking after me."

She pouted, her cheeks puffing red. "You shouldn't be so reckless, Spike. With or without my supervision."

Spike shrugged. "Well, you are a pegasus, aren't you? Why don't you teach me how to fly?"

Fluttershy took a step back. "M-Me?"

He nodded. "Sure. Unless you're too busy. I'd understand if you were. You've already spent so much of your time looking after me."

She shook her head, looking down, modestly. "It's not that, Spike. It's just...I'm not that great a flier."

Spike put his hands on his hips. "Come on, Fluttershy, your team scored second place in the relay race during the Equestria Games!"

"That was entirely because of Rainbow Dash, Spike," Fluttershy sighed. "Surely you realize that?"

"It wouldn't have been a silver medal if you hadn't been there," he countered. "Don't sell yourself short, Fluttershy. Besides, I'm not asking you to turn me into a champion flier - all I need are the basics."

"I don't know, Spike..." she said. "I'm not the best teacher, either."

"You said it yourself," Spike pointed out. "You were scared of flying your first time too. Who better to teach a total beginner than some-pony who can appreciate a beginner's perspective like that?"

Fluttershy bit her lip. This was probably not the best idea, but she really wanted to help Spike learn how to fly too. Part of her was sure that Rainbow Dash would be the better instructor, but then, Spike had a good point about him being a total beginner. Rainbow was a great flier, but Fluttershy doubted some-pony like her would have the patience to teach someone who had never flown before.

Which left only one pegasus for the job.

"Alright, Spike," she agreed, hesitantly.

For the next hour or so, she explained to him how important it was to be articulate each part of the wing to achieve lift, both while flapping and while gliding. She showed him on her wings how she could independently move each of her flight feathers to maximum effect, admitting bashfully that she regularly made mistakes that she knew consciously, but was unable to prevent herself from doing on a practical level in the moment. Spike was intrigued by the amount of control she had, but when he reached out to touch the feathers on her wings, Fluttershy recoiled with a laugh.

"Eek!" she yelped, fluttering her wings.

"Sorry!" he exclaimed.

"No, no, it's alright," Fluttershy sighed, cheeks red. "I'm just...ticklish there."

Spike laughed in return, storing that tidbit of information away for later, and extended his own wings to compare them to hers.

Of course, he didn't have quills the way a pegasus did - rather, he had frilled webbing, like a bat. But he soon found that he had control of each of the spine-like appendages that spanned across his wings, which allowed him a similar degree of control, and soon enough, he was able to mimic Fluttershy's movements as she held her wings out to show him what shape they should be in during a particular flight pattern.

"Alright, Fluttershy!" he said enthusiastically. "You think I'm ready for a test-flight?"

Fluttershy shrugged nervously. "I still think it would be best to try this with a professional flier, like Rainbow Dash."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but Rainbow Dash can't keep a secret to save her life. As soon as she sees me, she'll be blabbing about it to all of Ponyville."

"Very well, Spike," she sighed in acceptance. "But I'm going to fly alongside you to catch you in case you fall."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he raised an eyebrow in response. "I'm...a bit bigger than you are."

"Well, yes..." Fluttershy smiled and tapped his scaly hide with her hoof. "But you've also slimmed down a lot over the year you've been gone. You've lost all your baby fat, and are looking like quite the lean young dragon, Spike."

Spike blushed at the compliment, and Fluttershy blushed as well when she realized what she was saying and looked away.

"I mean...that's none of my business," she backpedaled. "But...from what I can tell, I should have no problems catching you if you fall."

Spike nodded, tentatively. "Alright then...here goes..."

He spread his wings and took off into a run towards the field. Fluttershy was trotting just behind him, keeping pace as he began to flap his wings. What had once been the chaotic thrashings of a panicked newborn were now deliberate and powerful movements that created gusts of wind that nearly knocked Fluttershy over. Then with a leap, Spike was in the air, still flapping his wings and slowly gaining altitude.

"Hey, look!" Spike shouted as he took to the air. "I'm flying!"

Where before he had reached a mere fifteen feet, now he was easily fifty feet high and climbing higher. Fluttershy was flapping her own wings to keep up with him as he flew. He had a much larger wingspan than she did was a much faster flier, even as he was just getting started, so she had to make an effort to keep up with him.

"Good job Spike!" she called out, keeping an eye on their surroundings. "Now, we're approaching the edge of the field. Lock your wings like I showed you and tilt them ever so slightly to the right."

Spike nodded and followed her instructions, banking to one side to stay out of the trees and above the grass, before resuming his steady flapping to keep himself aloft.

"This is awesome!" he shouted in excitement, a feeling of exhilaration overwhelming him.

Below them, Meadowlark waved her arms, cheering them on, and Fluttershy waved back at her.

Spike did too, and the motion caused his center of balance to tip, and he jerked suddenly as he tilted to one side, twisting his wings the other direction to compensate. The action caused him to wobble off in the other direction as he went tumbling.

"Whoa!" he shouted as he suddenly flipped over backwards unexpectedly.

"Spike!" Fluttershy called out in alarm as the dragon suddenly dropped out of the sky, before she dove after him.

Spike flapped his wings to try to re-right himself, but the wind was buffeting his wings with such force that they were practically plastered to his body. Out of panic, he reach out with his arms and found Fluttershy's outstretched hoof waiting for him as she flew towards him, which he grabbed urgently.

"Oof!" Fluttershy cried as she struggled to lift Spike's weight. He may have been leaner than he had been when he was younger, but it was all muscle mass, and he had more meat on his bones than any other pony around. Her wings flapped hard and she did manage to slow his fall some, but the ground was coming up to meet them at an alarming rate, and Fluttershy sucked in a breath and braced herself for the impending impact.

When they hit the tall grass, however, Spike's arms came around her and they tumbled in midair, causing himself to hit the ground first, letting her land on his belly with a thump, before the two of them tumbled and rolled over each other end over end until their momentum slowed and Fluttershy landed with a soft whump on her back in the grass.

"Mmmph!" she grunted in discomfort. She had eyes closed through the whole ordeal, and was almost afraid to open them afterwards. When she did, however, all she could see was Spike looking down at her with a concerned expression on his face.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

His body was slumped on top of hers, holding himself up by his arms over top of her, and if this had been any other situation, Fluttershy would have likely cried out in terror at such an invasion of personal space.

Instead, her thoughts were only on Spike.

"Am I alright?" she gasped, reaching up to touch his face. "What about you!? You're the one who hit the ground back there! Are you hurt? Is anything broken?"

She began checking his scales with her hooves for any signs of damage.

"I'm fine, Fluttershy," he assured her, taking hold of her hoof with his claw to cease her insistent fumbling. "I've got a pretty tough hide. If you hadn't caught me, I might've been in trouble, but you slowed me down enough to keep me from getting hurt, I think."

Fluttershy seemed to deflate at that. "Oh thank goodness!"

Spike smiled back down at her. "I'm just glad you're not hurt either."

Fluttershy closed her eyes and took a breath, trying to calm herself down. She used to have nightmares about falling from the sky, unable to fly, and this had come fairly close to those nightmares. Worse, it hadn't been just her that was falling - it was also her precious friend Spike, who she had taken under her wing in way. She had agreed to teach him, and that made her responsible for his safety, and that had made the fall all the more terrifying.

But then something had happened. Despite being a complete novice to aerial maneuvers, he had managed to grab her, wrap his arms around her, and take the brunt of the fall himself. It was a stupid, foolish thing for him to do. But it was also one of the kindest and most gentlemanly gestures she had ever received. In that moment, she hadn't been the one protecting Spike - he had been the one protecting her. And while she was used to her friends having to accommodate for her and was anxious to pull her own weight, she had to admit, it was nice to have someone she cared about going to such lengths to keep her safe like that.

"Hey!" came a cry as Meadowlark bounded over to them. "Are you two alright!?"

Spike tilted his head up to see the approaching mare, and Fluttershy suddenly realized that Spike was still on top of her, and she started blushing.

"Umm..." she mumbled shyly. "Thanks for catching me, Spike, but uh...you can...get off me now."

Spike flinched suddenly, as if his mind had been wandering, and he sprang off of her, laughing and blushing uneasily.

"Uhhh...hehe...sorry," he smiled, scratching his neck. "I'm glad you're alright."

She smiled back at him as Meadowlark came into view, the yellow and gray pony gasping for breath after struggling to push through the tall grass.

"Oh good!" the young earth pony sighed, seeing them both sitting up in the grass. "I was worried I'd have to call nurse Redheart!"

Fluttershy got to her hooves and offered a comforting smile to her assistant. "Sorry to frighten you, Meadowlark. No injuries, it seems."

"Yeah, fit as a fiddle!" Spike smiled as he got to his feet and brushed himself off. "So...what's for lunch?"

By the next day, Spike was flying on his own, though he was still probably as good as Twilight had been on her first day of flying too. He would have to get lessons from Rainbow Dash eventually, but for now, it was enough for him just to be able to get into the air.

Fluttershy had been doing a lot of thinking these past few days since Spike had arrived. While there would always be that lingering feeling in the back of her mind that she shouldn't be keeping Spike's return a secret, she couldn't deny that she'd been enjoying herself more and more these past few days since he'd come back. Over the years growing up with Twilight, Spike had developed into a polite and gentle young dragon, much friendlier than any other dragon she had come across, and a good deal more fun to be around. That much Fluttershy had always known, at least objectively, but having the young dragon around the house had brought it all into such focus.

For instance, he was an amazingly good cook - the time spent away seemed to have both increased his knowledge of wild herbs and spices, as well as starved him for a good taste tester besides himself, so he was only too happy to prepare meals for Fluttershy and occasionally Meadowlark as well. He was also very helpful around the house, a habit brought on by his years as an assistant making him quite eager to lend a hand wherever he could, and Fluttershy was finding that she was more than able to make up for the delay in her chores that had incurred from the downtime she had spent to take care of him while he was sick. She had insisted that she and Meadowlark could handle things on their own, but Spike was adamant, owing to his "dragon code" that he repay the debt he owed her for saving his life.

He had even been helping her and Meadowlark with all of her chores out in the animal habitat as well. He was a good deal taller than either pony, and was considerably stronger besides, so his efforts had made a lot of their heavier chores a much smaller burden. To top it off, Spike was good with animals too - a trait he must have picked up during his journeys - and had been helping in keeping each of her critters fed and their pens cleaned, and all without so much as a single complaint. And as Meadowlark was quick to point out, it was rather enjoyable to watch his lithe form glisten in the sunlight as he worked, although Fluttershy would admit to no such thing

Despite her reservations, however, Fluttershy was happy. It was nice having someone so helpful, polite and friendly around the house, and despite her best efforts, she was growing quite accustomed to his presence, even after only three days. In fact, that night, while Spike was preparing supper, she was starting to wonder just how things would be changing after the others found out.

As much as she hated to admit it, a very real part of her had been enjoying keeping Spike all to herself these past few days. It made her feel...special, she supposed. When she had first met him through Twilight Sparkle, there had been the distinct understanding that he had been with her, for whatever that had entailed. While he was still his own dragon and could make decisions on his own, his attachment to Twilight had never been contested, nor had there been any reason for any-pony to do so regardless. For all intents and purposes, he and Twilight had been joined at the hip, right up until the point where they had...well...joined at the hip.

Spike leaving Ponyville had changed everything, she reflected as she set the table for two that night, the aforementioned dragon stirring a pot in the kitchen. It had shattered that worldview of him always belonging to Twilight, and cemented a new reality of him being an independent dragon, free to make his own choices, capable of choosing for himself and no longer being under the thumb of...

Fluttershy mentally scolded herself. Spike hadn't belonged to any-pony, nor had he been under any-pony's thumb; she shouldn't think of it that way. But Spike's attachment to Twilight had still been irreversibly altered. Were there still any lingering feelings for Twilight? Probably - she couldn't expect an attachment like that to evaporate entirely, even after a year. But it was for that exact reason that she suspected that Spike may not wish to move back into the Crystal Library with her.

This suspicion was reinforced by the lingering resentment Twilight seemed to feel towards the dragon.

Clearly, there were some emotions that needed to be vented. And Fluttershy was the last pony in Equestria so inclined to force such ventilation. But what was to be done in the meantime? What was Spike to do after his presence became known? What was she to do in that case as well? Would Twilight or any of the others resent her for keeping Spike all to herself while he recuperated?

Perhaps there would be consequences, she decided. But all the same, she was glad that she had found him in the woods that night. Never mind that his life would have been in grave danger if she hadn't, but he had become such a wonderful presence in her life, not to mention the fact that she was now sharing Spike's secret and that made her feel downright mischievous! And if she had go back and do it all again, she probably would not have done it any differently. Spike had been wonderful company these past few days, and she would be sad to see him leave.

Which simply left the question...where would he be going?

When she posed this question to him at the table that night at dinner, he expressed as much uncertainty as she had.

"Well, I doubt I'll be moving back in with Twilight," he said somberly. "Even if she wanted me to, I don't think I'd be able to do it. Too much water over that damn right now."

Fluttershy just sipped quietly at the stew Spike had made - hay and alfalfa in a mushroom cream bisque. Fluttershy hadn't eaten this well in weeks.

Then an idea came over Fluttershy. She wasn't sure why it had bubbled to the surface; in truth, it had been lingering in the back of her mind for the past few days, but she hadn't dared to give the idea any thought, much less give voice to it. Now suddenly, without so much as thinking, it spilled out of her mouth before she could reel her imagination back in.

"You could always stay here with me."

Spike had been lifting a spoon to his mouth, which he lowered to give the mare an odd stare.

"Wait, really?" he asked. "Are you being serious?"

Fluttershy clamped her mouth shut. She hadn't been serious, had she? That had just been her own imagination running away with her mouth, hadn't it?

Hadn't it?

"Well..." she mulled the thought over, cheeks reddening under his gaze. "If you had no objections to the idea...it would seem that you have nowhere to go..."

She held up her hooves, dismissively.

"I-I'm sure any of our other friends would be just as willing to take you in," she backpedaled, nervously. "I mean...Rainbow Dash lives in a cloud house, so I'm not sure how that could work, but...surely Applejack or the Cakes would have room for..."

Fluttershy's reasoning died off on her lips as she realized how silly she sounded. But she was surprised when Spike nodded his head.

"I'd love to stay," he said with a smile.

Fluttershy's face lifted from a cloud of uncertainty to one of complete joy. "You would!?"

"Yeah! I mean, if it's not putting too much of a burden on you," Spike smiled in approval, before hesitating. "Well, actually, wait...do you even have enough room to spare?"

Fluttershy nodded quickly. "Oh yes, don't worry about it! I've been making renovations to the habitat outside; I have more than enough space now and I could easily clear out one of my spare rooms to make into a guest bedroom. It might take a little while, but...it could be done!"

Spike's heart melted a little bit at that sincerity in her voice. "You would do all that? For me?"

Fluttershy smiled sweetly at the dragon. "Oh, Spike, you've been nothing but pleasant living here, even while you were sick. And you've been so helpful and supportive to me, and a complete gentle-dragon besides. Who wouldn't want a housemate like you?"

Spike was smiling from ear to ear, looking like he was about to cry. Before he could, he rushed over and threw his arms around Fluttershy's neck and hugged her tightly, causing the young pegasus to jump slightly at that sudden embrace, but returning it all the same. She was glad that she had been able to help the poor dragon, and while he hadn't been showing it, it was clear from this display that Spike had been worried about this very problem too these past few days. Then again, she reminded herself, having been living on his own for the last year, there might not have been very many ponies who had treated him all that well during his travels. This was probably the single kindest gesture he had received all year, and it broke her heart to imagine Spike deprived of that kind of companionship.

So torn up by the thought that she kissed him on the cheek, and Spike only responded by embracing her even more tightly. It almost felt like she was taking advantage of the poor thing, but she could not stop herself when he was expressing such happiness. Part of this still felt wrong - while she hated thinking in such crass terms, it still felt as though Spike belonged to Twilight, not to Fluttershy, and she shouldn't be taking what wasn't hers. But Spike had already proven that he was his own dragon, and could decide for himself who he would be staying with.

Which he seemed to have just decided.

And if Fluttershy had stacked the deck in her favor by keeping his secret from the rest of her friends, well...who could blame her for wanting to keep such a gentle-dragon all to herself?

"Come on now, Spike," she cooed sympathetically, stroking his shoulder. "Let's finish our dinner. I got you some gems for desert."

Spike had been about to let her go, when the word 'gems' left her lips, and he threw his arms around her again and actually lifted her up in the air to twirl her around in excitement.

"Oh come on, now you're just bribing me!" he laughed as he spun her around.

"Eeeeeh!" she squealed happily and flailed her legs and wings in surprise as he swung her around. "Put me down, you!"

Spike mercifully set her back down. She was laughing with such mirth there were tears in her eyes. She didn't want to say it out loud for fear of drudging up more bad memories, but she was starting to appreciate more and more why Twilight had kept the dragon around for so long. Not only was he the most helpful dragon in Equestria, not only was he polite and kind and courteous and thoughtful, but the young dragon was an absolute joy to be around! He radiated warmth and happiness provided there was occasion for it, almost more so than any of her other friends. She would never be able to escape the lingering feelings of guilt she felt for keeping him all to herself, but at the moment, she didn't care.

"Well, hurry up and finish your supper before it gets cold," she chided benignly. "No gems for dragons who leave food on their plate."

Spike went back to his place setting and began wolfing down his stew.

"Yes ma'am!" he chimed.

Once again the two new housemates were debating about who got to take the bed that night - or, more precisely, who got to take the couch and give the bed to the other.

"Come on, Fluttershy, I feel fine!" Spike insisted. "You should sleep in your own bed tonight."

Fluttershy was adamant. "Until I get the spare room squared away, you're still a guest in this house, and as my guest, you get the bed."

Spike crossed his arms, a snarky look in his eyes. "Yes, but as a gentle-dragon, according to the dragon code, I can't allow a young mare to give up her bed for my sake, particularly when I'm in tip-top shape now thanks to that same mare's caring hooves."

Fluttershy pouted, though there was a smile behind it.

"You're really not going to give up on this, are you?" she asked.

The dragon shook his head, eyes closed as he kept his arms crossed. "Nope."

Fluttershy sighed and shook her head. "Very well. If you insist Spike."

She finished laying down what she had intended to be her sheets down on the couch, setting down the pillow on one end, and laying a blanket out for Spike to sleep under.

"Here's a glass of water in case you get thirsty," she said, setting the aforementioned glass on the table by the couch. "And you can help yourself to anything in the fridge in case you get hungry."

Spike chuckled good naturedly. "Thank you, Fluttershy. Now would you kindly stop worrying over me and go to bed already?"

Fluttershy still had an anxious look on her face, but she ceded the point gave the dragon a kiss goodnight on the cheek. Spike blushed at the show of affection, but climbed onto the couch all the same.

"Goodnight Fluttershy," he said with a smile as he crawled under the covers.

The yellow mare climbed the stairs to her bedroom and smiled back down at him.

"Goodnight Spike..."

Fluttershy closed the door and climbed into bed. As she tried to get to sleep, however, there were just too many butterflies in her stomach for her to settle down. Spike would be living with her from now on! It was such an exciting prospect! Of course, Angel might have to get used to it, but he seemed to be warming up to Spike - or at least, treating him with the same level of aloof indifference he treated the rest of her animals. And of course, it would take some doing to get him settled in - he certainly wouldn't be staying on the couch. That would never do!

Yes, it would certainly be an adjustment living with the dragon, but thinking of all the perks that came along with it made her heart flutter! Spike had been no less than wonderful these past few days, and she was absolutely exhilarated at the thought of the dragon being a permanent member of the household that she could hardly stand it!

So strange it was, she reflected, that such a change seemed so natural to her. Normally, she was not one for charging so boldly into uncharted waters like this, but then again, this was Spike, the dragon she had known for the majority of her adult life. And it felt so good to be doing something for herself for a change. While she knew that she was doing Spike a kindness and was glad for that, she knew that her friends would at very least be surprised with her, and in the worst case scenario, downright angry with her. But she didn't care! She was doing this because she wanted to do it. And why shouldn't she? Spike was his own dragon now. He didn't belong to Twilight or any-pony anymore! Never had to begin with, really. Clearly living with the princess had been stifling his growth if it had taken him this long to grow his wings.

She wondered idly what had tipped the scales. She had not been brave enough to inquire with Spike, but certainly it had to be something lascivious! Her stomach turned itself into knots as she imagined all the lurid little details of whatever late night rendez-vous had pushed Spike over the edge. The more she imagined, the more romantic and scandalous it all seemed, and the part of Fluttershy's imagination normally reserved for the harlequin romance novels that she kept sequestered away in the trunk by her bedroom window was firing on all cylinders at the thoughts that came to her mind.

Dear Celestia, what was she thinking!? It wouldn't do for her to contemplate Spike's private affairs like that! But try as she might, she couldn't help but imagine just what a beast he must have been! It must have been the bed-sheets she slept in that still lingered with his musky scent. Plus she'd always been curious about how dragons...did things like that. How lucky Twilight was to get the first taste of such a creature! And the more she imagined the two of them intertwined in the heat of passion, the easier it was to put herself in Twilight's horseshoes.

Spike didn't belong to Twilight anymore. Spike didn't belong to any-pony. He was his own dragon, free to make his own choice, right? She wasn't stepping on any-pony's hooves by making the first move upon his return, she told herself. Neither Twilight nor any of her friends had any right to be angry with her for doing this. This was not encroaching on any-pony else's claim! And who was to say Spike would even take her up on such an offer? No matter how she looked at the situation, she could not help but see her actions, decisions and thoughts cast in a veil of shame. As per usual, it seemed that every action she took, every move she made, every decision she chose would forever be shrouded in doubt.

When would she be able to do something for herself without feeling regret? When would she be able to just go after what she wanted without worrying that some-pony else wanted it more? Rarity and Pinkie had taught her that sometimes she had to put her hoof down, but she had gotten so carried away trying to do this that she had become something horrible as a result. And by Celestia, she didn't want that to happen now. She didn't want to become so depraved and hedonistic that she lost herself just by entertaining one lustful fantasy. But his musky scent on her sheets was simply filling her thoughts with him, and the dragon was dozing just outside her bedroom door! It was as if the stars had aligned to fulfill her deepest, darkest wishes, and the raucous that might ensue should she so much as breach that boundary...

Fluttershy flung herself out of the bed and began pacing around the room. This was driving her crazy! This was so stupid! She was a grown mare, she shouldn't be stewing in her own anxiousness like a school filly! There was nothing wrong with going down there and telling Spike how she felt! She reached a hoof up to her door handle, but withdrew it. Again, her hesitation and shame held her back. How many times had she denied herself even the simplest pleasures growing up? How many times had she denied herself even now? How many times had she sacrificed for some-pony else else who never even seemed to appreciate how much she had given?

She was the element of kindness, and kindness would always define her. But sometimes...sometimes, you had to be kind to yourself once in a while.

Fluttershy swallowed hard and reached for the door handle.

Spike was tossing and turning, trying to get to sleep. He had put on a bold claim by offering to take the couch, and to be sure, had been sleeping in far worse places this past year, but still, sleep eluded him. It was not that the couch was uncomfortable - far from it. It was the warm tickle in his throat the swelled up whenever he thought about Fluttershy and all that she had done for him. He doubted any of his friends would have been quite so hospitable. Especially Twilight. From the sound of things, she was about as bitter about what happened as he was.

Still, part of him felt like he was taking advantage of Fluttershy. She was the kindest and most generous of his friends save for Rarity, though he had mixed feelings about going to Rarity like this. After all this time, he wasn't sure how any of his friends would have reacted, even Fluttershy. He had been telling the truth when he'd told her that he would have picked her over all the others to help him in his time of need, but that was because he knew just how dependable she was, and he hadn't even wanted to do that much for fear of placing a burden upon her, or worse, being rejected all over again. But it was already done now. Did that make him a bad person, taking advantage of his friend's helpful and kind nature by allowing her to invite him to live in her own home? She had even helped him learn to fly, even though that was clearly outside her comfort zone.

He owed her so much, he didn't even know where to begin. Taking him in like this, after he had abandoned her and her friends for so long? He had no idea how he would ever make it up to her, which was why he had been so adamant about helping out as much as he had. It felt like small potatoes by comparison. Was that just his dragon nature, kicking in? When some-pony saved a dragon's life, that dragon owed that some-pony a debt that could never be repaid, and would often result in being life-bonded to that some-pony.

Could Fluttershy be that some-pony?

Suddenly Spike's cheeks flushed red as he thought back to all the times she'd kissed him or hugged him or otherwise been affectionate with him, and realized that based on those actions alone, the two of them were closer now than they had ever been when Spike had last been in Ponyville. It was a perturbing thought, seeing any-pony besides his previous caretaker as the pony he owed his devotion to. There had been that incident with Applejack a few years back when she had saved him from those timber-wolves, but he had still technically belonged to Twilight at that point.

Spike rolled over on the couch and flipped his pillow to let his head rest on the cool side.

He was thinking about this way too much! Fluttershy was just being nice! She didn't expect anything from him, did she? All those kisses and other signs of affection were just her way of being nice to him after being gone for so long. Right?

Right, and he was supposed to just pretend like each and every one of those gestures hadn't had an effect on his more carnal instincts. It had been a full year since he'd left Twilight, and there hadn't been anyone since then. Each delicate touch, each brush of a wing, he peck on the cheek, every embrace...he savored every one of them. It was more than just a sign of affection, it was a sign to him that any-pony cared about him at all, which is something he hadn't had in a long, long time.

Was that all this was? Loneliness and desperation for affection? He supposed he'd never find out until after his friends discovered him here.

His stomach dropped as he was reminded about that. Tomorrow was the day Fluttershy would tell them all that he was back. After that, it would all be downhill.

He rolled over again, and glanced idly around the living room, and was startled fully awake when he saw Fluttershy sitting on the floor just a few hoof-steps away from the bed, an unreadable expression on her face.

"Fluttershy?" he asked softly, not wanting to disturb the animals in the house, reaching out to the table besides the couch to flick on the small shaded lamp. "Is something wrong? What time is it?"

Fluttershy remained perfectly still as the light switched on. How long had she been sitting there?

"Spike..." she breathed, refusing to make eye contact with him. "I would...very much prefer it if you were in the bed tonight..."

Spike let out an exasperated sigh. Was that what this was all about?

"Fluttershy, we talked about this," he groaned as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I'm not going to make you sleep on the couch again."

The mare's wings shuffled back and forth, but otherwise, Fluttershy did not move.

"I..." she breathed quietly, eyeing the floor. "Wasn't...suggesting that I do..."

Spike rubbed his eyes again, and blinked as he tried to process what Fluttershy had just said.

"So...wait...what...?" he asked blithely, blinking in sleepless stupor. "What are you suggesting then? That we both take the bed?"

Fluttershy's head nodded twice. It was an unmistakable gesture because it sent her long pink mane waving back and forth with each motion.

Spike's mouth was dry as he tried to think of a response to that. Was Fluttershy being serious? What exactly was she offering here? He dare not try anything for fear that he was dreaming.

"I...don't think that would be a good idea, Fluttershy..." he said cautiously, looking away. "I mean...uh..."

He struggled to come up with an excuse that didn't sound contrived, and blurted the only thing that came to mind, which, to be fair, was a perfectly valid reason in his head.

"Gosh, I mean..." he smiled nervously. "I don't think I'd be able to keep my claws to myself if we tried to do that..."

He tried chuckling at his own jape, but it came out more like a choking cough, and he cleared his throat, looking at the mare nervously, trying to gauge her reaction.

Her expression was still unreadable, though now her eyes were even more hidden behind her mane.

"I...wouldn't mind..." she managed to whisper, her voice cracking in embarrassment.

Spike raised an eyebrow at that. Had her heard her correctly?

"What...?" he asked in complete stupefaction.

Fluttershy made a strangled noise as her voice caught in her throat.

"Don't...make me say it again, please..." she begged, and he could see that her cheeks were bright red behind her mane.

Spike's eyes widened. Dear Celestia, was she being serious? His heart was in his throat as his mind instantly touched upon a hundred forbidden thoughts and feelings that had been stirring beneath the surface of his consciousness just a short while ago. The idea seemed preposterous! Of all of his friends, if he had to guess which of them might be interested in fooling around, Fluttersy would have been the last name on his list. On some level, it was interesting to know, at least, that he hadn't been the only one thinking about such things. But that Fluttershy would be so bold as the make the first move? It was almost unthinkable. By the stars, as shy as she was, what she must be putting herself through just to be asking him this...

"Are you...saying that you want to...?" Spike stammered, unable to finish the thought. As it turned out, in situations like these, he was just as shy as she was.

Fluttershy nodded her head again, her vibrant mane swaying with the motion, eyes completely obscured.

"Yes..."

Spike swallowed, trying to stave of the dryness in his mouth. This was a dream, right? It had to be a dream! There was no way Fluttershy would want to do something like that with him. And even if she did...for her to proposition him like this in the middle of the night...

"You're can't...seriously mean that you..." his voice was so shaky as he gestured towards her. "...want to...with me...do you?"

Her eyes once again disappeared behind her mane, and before he could finish, she had turned to make her way a little too hurriedly up the stairs. She actually missed the first step and stumbled at the bottom of the stairs, and she let out a whiny of agitation.

"Fluttershy..." Spike called out as he followed her towards the stairs, reaching out to help her to her hooves.

She flinched slightly at his touch, but leaned into it the longer it lasted. Her movements were so conflicted, as if part of her longed to offer him the world, and the other wanted nothing more than to flee.

She finally broke away from him and hurriedly made her way up the stairs, turning to glance back around at him, looking completely flustered.

"Well...?" she asked expectantly, cheeks burning bright.

Spike hurried up the stairs after her, his mind in a million places at once.

"Are you...?" he breathed as they stepped into her room, leaving the lights off. "Are you absolutely sure about this, Fluttershy?"

She paused her step, scrapping at the floor with her hoof, her back to the dragon. The way the moonlight glided along her flank was utterly captivating.

"I...I have no idea..."

Spike frowned, feeling more and more like dirt.

"Well...if you're this unsure about it, then maybe we shouldn't do this..." he suggested, going against every instinct in his body telling him to approach her.

Again, her hesitation and shame were holding her back.

Suddenly Fluttershy was facing him, and had her forelegs around his neck.

"No!" she cried, a look of panic in her eyes. "Don't go!"

She would not back down from this. No matter how much it terrified her.

Spike would have blushed at the proximity if not for the desperate look in her eyes, her cheeks bright red as she pleaded with him.

His heart broke in an instant.

"I'm not going anywhere, Fluttershy..." he said, placing his claws around her forelegs. "I just...need to be sure that you're okay with this."

Her embrace tightened as he felt her breath against the frills on his neck.

"Please..." she whispered. She wasn't able to get out anything more than that.

The damn of Spike's resistance began to crumble away. A little voice in the back of his mind was telling him that this was a bad idea, that there was no way one of them wasn't going to be hurt by this, and probably both of them. The last time he had tried this, the resulting heartache had driven him out of Ponyville. But damn it all, those eyes of hers! He could no longer pretend that he wasn't completely smitten. How could anyone be expected to say no in these circumstances?

He reached up to cup her cheeks between his claws, bringing her face to his. Her eyes were wide and bright, even in the dim lightning cast by the moonlight through the window. Her lips were quivering as he kissed her, and her eyes slid shut as she responded to the kiss by pressing back into him, her forelegs closing ever more tightly around him.

As smaller as she was by comparison, it took almost no effort at all for him to lift her up onto the bed. She offered him no resistance as he continue to kiss her, her voice croaking in her throat as a strangled moan of delight from the attention, as she wrapped both sets of legs tightly around him in an almost possessive manner.

Spike didn't seem to mind it.

"Fluttershy..." he breathed, as his hot breath escaped as wisps of smoke, his lips finding their way across her jawbone, along the ridge of her neckline, up to one of her ears as his claws brushed through her long, silky mane.

Her entire body stiffened as she felt his teeth clamp down around her ear, and it was all she could do not to cry out.

"Spike..." she whimpered, her legs and wings trembling from the treatment. By the stars, this was so much more than she had ever imagined! He was actually kissing her, hungrily and fervently, as she'd only ever imagined in her wildest dreams! His scales were like fire, his hot breath a tempest, his tongue a slithering snake that set her skin ablaze wherever it touched. She felt her entire body heating up from the torment as his lips explored her ear, as every single muscle in her body began to clench all at once.

Spike found his way to her other ear, as if he wanted to taste her skin one inch at a time, like a predator savoring a piece of meat. Her mouth hung agape as he teased her sensitive skin, and she squeezed him even more tightly as his lips descended towards her neck and collarbone.

"Mmmmmm..." she whimpered as she laid back against the mattress, her wings splayed wide as the dragon continued to nuzzle at her body with his snout. His kisses descended lower and lower along her abdomen, her head tilting back in elation as her voice trickled out in a tremulous simper. Her face was eternally red, her imagination completely shattered at the realization of what Spike was doing to her. The same young dragon, who at one time she had seen as the most innocent of tiny creatures, now had his lips all over her body, making her insides do somersaults and her heart pound like thunder.

It was when his lips found their way between her legs, however, that she began to cry out in elation.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" she wailed.

His lips and tongue had found one of her most private areas, and by the stars, she could barely believe it! Dear Celestia, where had he learned to do this? There would have been no possible way for her to prepare for this onslaught, let alone respond to it in any intelligible fashion. All she could do was slam her back hooves into the mattress, lifting her hips up to meet his lips as she turned her head to bite down on the bed sheets to keep from wailing again.

She felt a single claw enter her, and she lost her grip on the sheets and began to howl.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, Spike!" she cried, each breath a desperate cry for mercy as her eyes clenched shut.

He simply hummed in affirmation, his long serpentine tongue working magic on her nether regions, incessantly flicking back and forth, driving her mad. She felt every muscle in her stomach begin to convulse in response to his teasing, and her eyes flew open, her pupils dilated to points as she was overcome by a wave of pleasure that shook her entire body to the core.

"OHHHHHHHHHH!" she cried out as she pressed her bottom hooves down so hard her back lifted off the bed.

As she collapsed in a sweaty heap on the mattress, her breaths coming out in panting gasps, her mind was a confused mess of thoughts and emotions. In her entire life, she had never imagined pleasure like this, much less that it would come from Spike of all creatures. How the young dragon was capable of incapacitating her like this staggering. Was this what Twilight Sparkle had passed up on?

Spike looked up from his vantage point between her legs, a look of concern on his face, and began to crawl over top of her, looking down into her eyes.

"Fluttershy?" he asked. "Are you alright?"

Fluttershy was still gasping for breath as she gazed up at the young dragon in wonder, before she threw her forelegs around his neck once again and kissed him a lot more aggressively than he was expecting.

"Mmmmmmh!" she intoned as their lips parted. "Oh, Spike..."

Spike let a low growl escape his lips as she wrapped her lower legs around his waist, and he felt her well-moistened center brushing against the heat between his legs. It was felt almost too natural for him to slip himself inside of her, and she only responded by holding him tighter and calling his name louder and louder as he began to undulate his hips, driving himself ever inward.

"Spike!" Fluttershy simpered, tears rolling down her cheeks as she held onto him for dear life. "Oh Spike!"

She had expected it to hurt. Everything she had ever read, every bit of gossip she'd ever heard told her that the first time was supposed to be painful. But it just felt so right for him to be there in that moment. Maybe it was because of how warm and moist he had made her, maybe it was because dragons just did it better than ponies, but whatever the reason was, Fluttershy was loving every moment he spent inside of her. Every thrust of his hips, every touch of his lips, every brush of his claws was like a little moment in paradise.

Before she knew it, she was on the precipice once more, as Spike gazed down at her with eyes full of passion and longing. Then those eyes clenched shut, and she felt a sudden flood of heat between her lower legs as he grunted her name, and in that moment, she knew bliss as she tumbled over the edge once again. Spike's claws dug into her flank as he erupted inside of her, her own forelegs clutching his shoulders for dear life as she screamed out in terror and exhilaration.

She felt as if her own skin was not enough to contain the sensations, as though it would turn her inside out should it last a moment longer. It was like a sudden encounter with a dangerous beast, or standing at the edge of a cliff and being pushed off the edge. The rush of adrenaline surged through her veins, leaving her breathless and immobile, shuddering and shaking as if she been hit by a bolt of lightning.

"Fluttershy?" a breathy voice reached her ears, and her eyes regained focus.

"Ahhh..." she exhaled, cheeks still flushed red. "Oh, goodness..."

Spike blinked in surprise, still staring down at her. "Are...are you alright?"

Fluttershy closed her eyes, still catching her breath. "Oh...wow... Did...did that actually just happen?"

"I almost can't believe it myself..." he said, smiling breathlessly.

She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling, as if trying to convince herself that she was still in the same room. "Does...does this mean that we're...?"

Spike licked his lips and swallowed as he climbed off of her and sidled up beside her.

"It means whatever you want it to mean, Fluttershy," he said with a smile. "I'm here for you as long as you'll have me."

Fluttershy felt a shiver running through her as the cold air washed over her and then she giggled as Spike ran his claws through her wings.

"A-ha-ha-ha! Hey!" she protested, mirthfully, as she fluttered her wings. "That tickles!"

"You don't say," Spike smiled as he reached down to pull the covers up over them.

"Ohhhh...I knew I shouldn't have told you about that," Fluttershy blushed as she scooted up against his warm body beneath the sheets. "Now you're going to use that against me all the time."

"Only some of the time," Spike protested as his arms came up around the pegasus in the bed with him. "Dragon's honor."

She extended a wingtip and playfully brushed a feather beneath his chin.

"I'll just have to find one or two of your spots," she teased as he squirmed at the touch. "And I think I may have just found one."

"I admit nothing," Spike claimed.

When she tickled him there again, however, he laughed uncontrollably.

"Still such a cute little dragon after all these years," she giggled.

Spike didn't seem to mind being compared to his younger self for some reason, though he knew he ought to have taken umbrage with such a remark. The comment did remind him, however, that his third day had just ended, and that he would soon be facing the rest of his friends.

Only now, he had even more to answer for.

"So..." he muttered somberly. "What's going to happen tomorrow?"

Fluttershy gave him a peculiar look. "What do you mean, Spike?"

Spike looked away uneasily. "The others. Tomorrow's the day you said you'd tell them about me. So what do we tell them?"

Fluttershy's cheeks reddened as she considered what would happen if her friends were to find out what she and Spike had done.

"Well..." she muttered, shyly. "We can keep some parts to ourselves...but we still need to tell them that you're back, Spike. And they're at least going to want to know where you'll be staying."

Spike nodded, pursing his lips as he wondered how that would go.

"Do you think they'll suspect anything?" he asked.

Fluttershy's blushed as she winked. "We can tell them eventually...but I don't see the harm in keeping it a secret for a little bit longer."

Spike sighed. That didn't really answer the question, but he supposed it would have to do for now.

"Alright..." he breathed, turning to lie on his back. "I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Fluttershy glanced back at him. "You're not...upset, are you?"

"No, of course not," he said hurriedly. "It's just...well, you're not the only one who worries if everything's going to be alright."

"I suppose you're right," she said, letting out a soft laugh as she snuggled up against his body. "Sorry for worrying so much."

"Me too..." he said as he pulled her body more tightly against his own. "You're right about one thing, though...this bed sure is a lot nicer than the couch. Better company too."

Fluttershy giggled. "I'm glad you think so."

Spike closed his eyes, leaning into her. "Goodnight Fluttershy."

She sighed in contentment as he did. "Goodnight Spike."

The next day, Fluttershy sent out some of her messenger birds to inform the others that she needed to meet with them at the Crystal Library. Because so few of her friends shared her gift of animal communication (she was not prepared to say one way or the other about Pinkie Pie), she had written her message on a small note tied to one of each of her birds' legs. By the time she and Spike arrived at the Library, all their friends had gathered in the throne room.

"Don't be afraid, Spike..." Fluttershy whispered as the two of them stepped down the main hallway towards the muffled clamor of their friends in the main audience chamber. "Every-pony's going to be so excited to see you again. Especially now that you've got a new pair of wings to show off."

Spike withered at the thought, looking like he wanted to hide behind Fluttershy's flank. "That's what I'm afraid of."

About halfway down the hallway, still out of anyone's line of sight, Spike slowed to a halt, and Fluttershy turned to give him a reassuring stare.

"Now Spike..." she said, chidingly. "Don't get cold feet now."

Spike chewed on his lip, sweating nervously. "Actually...why don't I just wait here and let you go in first?"

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow in an amused smile at the young dragon's suggestion. "Would you like me to announce you in, like royalty?"

Spike cringed and shook his head. "No, nothing like that! It's just that...this is sure to come as a surprise for every-pony. I can't just...waltz in there without giving them a little warning first."

Fluttershy sighed and shook her head. "Very well. But I'm trusting you not run off while I'm in there."

Spike saluted. "Dragon's honor!"

She nodded and proceeded along towards the throne room.

"Hey there, Fluttershy!" Applejack called out as the yellow pegasus strolled in. "We're all present an' accounted for, just like ya asked."

"Yes indeedly!" Pinkie Pie jumped up enthusiastically from her seat and started bouncing up and down in front of their newest arrival. "So what's the big news? Huh? Huh?"

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash added, skeptically, as she lounged sideways on her throne. "What's so important that you needed all of us here to tell us in person?"

"I do say," Rarity chimed in, looking as dignified as ever on her throne. "We've each already reserved an entire day every week to meet up here to discuss official matters together. What in Equestria could not be postponed until such time?"

Fluttershy blushed under the scrutiny, but was even more hesitant to reply for fear of putting an unnecessary burden on Spike. As exciting as it was to do so, she wasn't particularly good at keeping secrets, especially ones as dirty as the one she currently kept. She also couldn't help but notice Twilight being oddly silent upon her arrival.

"Well..." she said quietly as she climbed up onto her throne. "As you all know, I like to keep an eye on the Everfree Forest for any sign of distress. Recently, one of my birds came to me, telling me about something big, loud and frightening terrorizing the forest."

Everyone's expressions darkened, suspecting the worse.

"What do you think it is?" Rainbow Dash asked, as always eager to jump into action.

"Well," Fluttershy smiled uneasily. "I went searching through the forest myself to-"

"You what!?" Rarity gasped, astonished. "Fluttershy, how could you attempt something so dangerous on your own!?"

Several ponies raised an eyebrow at that.

"Rarity," Applejack said evenly. "We all know the Everfree Forest ain't been all that problematic for us lately. Heck, the worst thing to come out of there in recent months has been that foul-mouthed chimp tryin' to raise hell about how hard it's been finding any food."

Pinkie smirked at that. "Boy did we learn some interesting new words that day."

Rarity held her nose up. "Well, all the same, there's any manner of unpleasant things hiding away in those woods."

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "What, you mean like all that dirt, mud and muck you could step in?"

Rarity snorted. "Oh, you may laugh Rainbow, but wait till you see what a little mud can do to a freshly coiffed mane. It isn't a pleasant sight."

Rainbow Dash and Applejack both looked like they wanted to make a few more jokes, but Twilight Sparkle held up her hoof.

"Ladies," she said, silencing them both, before smiling cordially as the yellow pegasus. "You were saying, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy cleared her throat. "Oh, yes...anyway, I went searching through the forest myself to see what all the fuss was about...and you'll never guess who I found..."

She held her hoof out towards the open doorway leading out to the hall.

"Every-pony..."

Eyes widened and breathing stilled as all eyes turned to the entryway to the main hallway as right on cue, a young purple dragon stepped into view.

He put on a bashful smile and waved his claw.

"H-Hey guys..."

Everyone collectively exhaled at once.

"Well, I'll be..." Applejack breathed in surprise.

Pinkie was the first to leave her seat, though Rarity was soon to follow.

"SPIKE!" the pink pony cried out in unbridled excitement as she flat-out tackled the poor dragon, despite his superior size, sending him tumbling to the floor. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! You're back! This is like the best day ever!"

Spike grunted as he hit the floor, with Pinkie Pie practically standing on him.

"Spikey!" Rarity cried out rushing to his side. "It's so wonderful to see you again!"

"Yeah, where the heck have you been!?" Rainbow Dash demanded, hovering overhead. "We were all worried sick about you! Well, I mean...I wasn't, but..."

Spike tried to speak up, but found it difficult with Pinkie Pie nearly crushing his chest.

"Now now, girls," Fluttershy pleaded, urging the others to back off a little. "Give him some room."

Pinkie Pie hopped off of him, still grinning from ear to ear and looking like she was ready to pounce him as soon as the dragon stood up.

"My word, just look at you, Spike!" Rarity gasped when he stood. "Have you gotten even taller since we last saw you?"

As Spike scratched the back of his neck scales shyly, Fluttershy took the opportunity to speak out for him.

"And that's not all!" she said excitedly. "Look at what else he has now!"

Spike, taking, his cue, dropped down to all fours and unfurled his wings and spread them wide for all to see.

"My...!" Rarity inhaled, transfixed.

"Well, hot diggity!" Applejack exclaimed. "You got yourself a nice pair of wings there!"

"Spike has wings!?" Pinkie Pie gasped in disbelief. "Does this mean he's an alicorn princess now too!?"

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure he can't use magic, Pinkie Pie."

Spike was blushing under the scrutiny. "Uhh...well, uh..."

"Why, how in Equestria did you acquire such marvelous wings, Spikey-poo?" Rarity inquired.

"And more importantly, how well can you use 'em?" Rainbow Dash asked excitedly. "Have you learned how to fly yet?"

Spike smiled shyly. "Kind of. I mean, I got the basics down, I think..."

Rarity gave the young dragon a warm hug. "Oh, this is so wonderful, Spikey-Wikey!"

Applejack smiled widely. "We've really missed you, little guy!"

Rainbow Dash smirked. "Yeah! Ponyville's never really been the same without you!"

Pinkie's smiled widened, despite all seeming feasibility. "Oh my gosh! We've got to throw you a welcome home party!"

Spike blushed. "Aww...thanks, guys..."

Applejack cast a suspicious look at Twilight, who had stood up, but was keeping her distance from the commotion.

"Twilight?" she asked, earnestly. "You're bein' awfully quiet about all this. Ain't you gonna say something?"

Twilight's face remained neutral as all eyes fell on her.

"Nice to have you back, Spike," she said in a polite and even tone. "Will you be staying with us long?"

Spike could not even bring himself to meet her gaze. "Well, uh...I don't really have any plans to leave..."

Twilight nodded. "Alright then. I assume you don't have any problems staying with Fluttershy then?"

What followed was the most uncomfortable silence of Spike's life. All eyes fell on him, Fluttershy and Twilight like one of them had just eaten a bird.

"Ummm...would he not simply just move back in with you?" Rarity asked the princess, totally confused. "I mean, it isn't like you don't have room to spare."

"I'm sure he's made other plans by now," Twilight said, matter-of-factly. "Spike? Exactly how long have you been in Ponyville since you arrived?"

Spike's gaze rested eternally on the floor. "Well, I...when Fluttershy found me in the woods, I...I was really sick and..."

"And?" Twilight prompted, when his explanation died off. "How long ago was that?"

Before he could respond, Fluttershy took a step forward.

"Twilight," she said graciously, "May I have a word with you please?"

Twilight all but rolled her eyes as she simply turned and strolled towards the back antechamber as Fluttershy followed after her, leaving Spike to explain what had been going on for the last few days.

When the two mares reached the antechamber and closed the door, Fluttershy released a breath.

"I didn't want to say anything because you seemed so torn up about his leaving," Fluttershy began. "It didn't seem like it was my place."

"I gathered," Twilight responded, noncommittally.

"I wanted to ask you what exactly had gone on between you two," she continued. "But I couldn't figure out how because of how torn up you seemed."

Twilight shrugged. "I'm not blaming you, Fluttershy."

The young pegasus made a face. "But you are blaming Spike!"

"And how is it not his fault, exactly?" Twilight demanded. "He's the one who decided to leave, and he's the one who decided not to see any of us until now. The others have a right to know that."

Fluttershy bit her lip, a guilty expression on her face.

"How did you find out?" she asked out of morbid curiosity.

"You mean besides the fact that, one day out of the blue, you happened to decide to come in and do a little research on dragon mating patterns?" Twilight asked sarcastically. "Or besides the fact that your little assistant has been chatting away about your new house guest to all her friends?"

Fluttershy frowned at the floor. She had asked Meadlowlark to keep Spike's presence a secret from Fluttershy's friends, but apparently that had not included her own friends. She would need to have a word with her later.

"I told you anyway, all I needed to do was cast a finding spell to figure out where he was," Twilight said, sounding tired and bedraggled. "That told me all I needed to know."

A sinking feeling ran down Fluttershy's spine. Just how much had Twilight seen?

"Twilight..." she breathed. "I..."

"What you and Spike do together is your business, Fluttershy," Twilight said, turning her back to the mare. "He doesn't belong to me. He's free to make his own choices. And he's clearly made his."

There was an unmistakable cracking in her voice that told Fluttershy that she was fighting off tears. Fluttershy was feeling tears of her own welling up.

How could she have been so foolish?

"So...go ahead," Twilight said, her voice cracking even more. "Go...do whatever you want together. I...I don't care. It...it's none of my concern. He-"

Twilight's stammering came to a halt as Fluttershy's forelegs came around her and she felt herself wrapped in a tight embrace.

"Stop it, please!" Fluttershy begged, eyes full of tears. "Oh Twilight...why didn't you tell me!?"

Twilight grimaced as Fluttershy hugged her warmly, trying to pull away. "Tell you what? There's nothing to tell!"

Fluttershy shook her head and just continued to hold the alicorn as tightly as she could. How could she have misread the situation so drastically? Twilight didn't resent Spike for leaving! Well, maybe she did, but that wasn't all there was to it. There may have been resentment there, but she was also feeling something much, much more.

"Don't feel like you have to keep this all bundled inside like this, Twilight," she said sweetly as the alicorn continued resisting her embrace. "We're your friends! We're here to help you through these sorts of things! Why would you hide something like this from us!?"

"Fluttershy, I told you!" Twilight grunted as she began flapping her wings as she continued to try to tug herself free. "It doesn't...bother me...at all!"

"Then why are you crying, Twilight!?" Fluttershy demanded, holding her by the shoulders as she stared into her eyes. "Look at yourself! I've never seen you this upset! Oh, Twilight, how could you let me make such a fool of myself like this!?"

Twilight stopped fighting as she looked into Fluttershy's eyes. She grimaced and looked away, letting the tears flow freely.

"Alright..." she grunted angrily through her tears. "Fine. So I still have feelings for the little reptile! So what?"

Fluttershy shook her head sadly. "So...you should talk to him about it."

She shook her head. "I can't, Fluttershy. You don't understand...I'm the one who forced him leave!"

Fluttershy's mouth hung open. "What?"

Twilight shook her head, the tears flowing freely now. "He...he wanted to be with me, and...and...I don't know! I got scared, alright? I made up some excuse about wanting to preserve my image as a princess, but the truth is...I was just scared! I didn't want our relationship to change like that! We've been friends for so long, and I...and I..."

Twilight began crying in earnest and she buried her head in Fluttershy's mane. The yellow mare began stroking her back sympathetically, her own eyes still red.

"It's alright, Twilight," she cooed softly. "It'll be alright."

Twilight shook as she embraced the yellow pegasus.

"No it won't..." she groaned, her voice muffled. "I've already ruined everything. Spike hates me now! He left Ponyville because of what I did. And now you two are shacking up, and you both just look so happy together and...I just ruined any chance I ever had with him!"

With every word, Fluttershy felt her guilt compounding. What had she been thinking? How could she have ever thought that Twilight would be okay with her and Spike? There was a reason she had felt so concerned by hesitance and shame in making such a decision! This was an absolute nightmare - it was like the last time she had decided to put her hoof down, only worse! She had become the worse kind of friend any-pony could ever have!

What in Equestria had she done?

"So you've been living with Fluttershy for the last three days?" Rainbow Dash asked, slowly putting the pieces together.

All the other ponies had taken their seats in the throne room. Spike was sitting at the foot of Twilight's throne. His own small one seemed to have been moved since he'd left, but he didn't feel like it was right for him to sit in Twilight's throne.

"Yeah," he responded sheepishly. "I spent the first day recovering from my fever, but by the second day I was healthy enough to try out flying. I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner. I was kinda freaked out by the fact that I suddenly had a pair of wings I'd never had before, but the truth is, I was just too scared to face you all again after I'd been gone for so long."

"That's ridiculous, Spikey!" Rarity objected. "Why would you ever have anything to fear from us?"

"No, I get it," Applejack interjected. "I felt just the same way after I went to the Canterlot Rodeo. I couldn't even bring myself to face y'all with how I was feeling."

"You even ran off to the same place as Spike!" Pinkie Pie pointed out. "Appleloosa! Must be something about that place where every-pony goes to escape their problems!"

Spike shrugged. "Except I didn't come back from Appleloosa. I went on to Las Pegasus, then to the Smokey Mountain and finally ended up in White Tail Woods."

Applejack smiled wanly. "Only reason I came back from Appleloosa is cause y'all came and got me."

Rainbow Dash smacked her forehead. "Argh! I knew we should have gone out to Appleloosa to kick some sense into him!"

Pinkie Pie, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, wrapped her forelegs around the blue pegasus. "Awww, and here you said you weren't even worried about him, Rainbow Dash."

"I wasn't!" Rainbow blared a little too quickly. "I knew he'd be fine! I was just worried about how you all would manage without him!"

"Just admit that you missed him, Rainbow Dash!" Rarity laughed. "We all did! See?"

"I wasn't worried!" Rainbow protested, completely red-faced.

Spike felt the tension leaving his body. It was such a relief that at least his friends forgave him for being such a scaredy-dragon. And now that he was back in Ponyville, the memories of his loneliness began to melt away. His friends had never doubted him, they were just sad to see him go. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Of course, that still left Twilight and Fluttershy to consider.

"So, what's the deal with you and Twilight?" Rainbow Dash asked, ever the tactless one.

"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity jeered before Spike could even answer. "That's none of our business!"

"Not like it ain't obvious to the rest of us," Applejack shrugged, helplessly.

"What's not obvious?" Pinkie Pie asked.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Some of us, anyway."

"What?" Pinkie Pie asked sweetly. "What am I missing?"

Spike's blush only deepened.

"What about Fluttershy?" Rarity asked, with obvious concern in her voice.

"What about her?" Applejack asked.

"Well, the two of them have been talking for an awfully long time," Rarity pointed out. "What do you suppose they could be discussing?"

"I wonder," Rainbow Dash asked, slyly throwing a glance in the resident dragon's direction. "Spike, is there something you're not telling us?"

Spike swallowed hard. "Uhh...well, I..."

Before he could finish, the door to the rear antechamber swung open, and both Twilight and Fluttershy slowly came back in. Both of them had eyes reddened from tears, and were met with a hail of concerned questions as two of them entered the throne room.

"It's fine every-pony," Twilight assured her friends as she took her seat. "Sorry to worry you all."

Fluttershy approached Spike, who had sprung to his feet upon their entrance and backed away from Twilight's throne until he was at the center of the room.

"Is everything alright?" he asked her as she faced him, a look of purest sympathy on his face.

It broke her heart to see him so concerned about her. She didn't feel like she deserved such sympathy. Maybe it was her own selfish heart that longed to hear his voice whispering in her ear once again, but now that voice only evoked feelings of shame and remorse in the young pegasus' heart. Such foalish dreams of romance and passion had carried her heart away on the polished scales of a brilliant young dragon, and she had cherished every minute of it. But now the reality of her actions weighed down on her like a cage of shame that she would never be free of so long as she continued to hold onto him. She had no idea how long she would be tormented by dreams of the life they might have had together and what it could have been. But so long as the pain of her friend was the price for such a life, then it would never be worth it in the end, no matter how sweet that life may have been.

"Spike..." she said in a bittersweet voice. "We need to talk."

Author's Note

Go ahead, hate me. This chapter took a lot out of me, and it ended up being much, much longer than the last one because of how things turned out. The tragedy of a series of fics such as this is that the deeper and more involved each chapter is, the harder and more painful it is when they must inevitably come to a close. Such a series of tragedies will never satisfy me, however, so in order to truly make this a set of romances that fans of each Spike pairing can enjoy, I have come to another decision about this fic.

Rather than make a single ending chapter about Spike and Twilight, I will instead end with a "Choose Your Own Ending," in which six different shorter epilogues will be released all at once some time after the 6th chapter is released. Unlike the other chapters, these epilogues will exist separately and independently from one another, and it will be up to each individual reader to decide which pairing will ultimately prevail in the end.

My reasons for doing this are two-fold. Firstly, as mentioned above, I feel as though because of the continuous nature of this story, having each pairing ending in a breakup is completely unsatisfying for fans of any pairing, and having only one final pairing at the end doesn't seem fair to the others. But secondly, despite my determination to make this primarily a Spike x Twilight fic (a decision I reached while writing the first chapter), I found that the more I wrote this chapter, the more I fell in love with the idea of Spike and Fluttershy as well! And I can imagine something similar happening with subsequent chapters as well (although don't count on them being quite as long as this one, as Spike had to go through some major developments on his own here). To write each of these chapters, I'll need to get into Spike's head and see each mare through his eyes and envision just what aspects of each of their characters that he'll be drawn to, and there's no way that won't affect my feelings on them as well.

So there you have it. This chapter was exhausting to write, and the next one promises to be quite a hurdle as well, so I can't say how long it'll be before I can get to it. But I promise it'll be fun. Now that Spike's back in Ponyville, he still needs to learn how to get by on his own. He can't stay with Fluttershy for the same reason he can't stay with Twilight, and he has these wings now that he doesn't know what to do with, so naturally he needs to find a skilled flier to show him the ropes.

I hope integrating Spike's wings as a story point wasn't too awkward. The scene with the old dragon felt a little rushed, as did much of Spike's journey but the chapter was already getting so long, I didn't feel like I could afford to put any more detail in, and those details really aren't what this fic was about. Sorry again for so many walls of text, especially during Fluttershy's research in the library (for those of you who noticed, yes, the five stages of dragon evolution were ripped directly from Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, but it suited my purposes, so that's what I used). Some of it is just my style of writing, and if you pick up a book in the library, many of them will have walls of text too. It's just going to depend on the subject matter. I can probably say that the next few chapters, particularly Pinkie Pie's, may be a little bit less heavy-handed at least. But knowing me, I may very well find something to drone on about, and for that, I apologize.

Thank you all for reading in spite of this fic's obvious flaws.

Cover art by cr-r, if you happen to know the artist's website, please message the author so it can be linked.