The Apple Pony

The dull-colored mythical creature flew his way across Ponyville, unsure of what he was looking for. It appeared that lately, many of his infamous plans had failed. He felt empty, although he would never admit so aloud. Even Fluttershy, whom anypony would consider close to him, was unable to make his day any better.

Eventually, Discord found himself in the Sweet Apple Acers. The Apple family was working hard as usual to plant apple trees for the following season. That was when he spotted him… A dashing red colt was bucking apples in the hot summer sun. He brushed his hoof right below his golden forelock sweat trickling down. His hair swooshed in the breeze cooling him down. He swayed his head back in forth creating a soft heavenly glow. Discord’s wings shot straight up.

His eyes widened and a smirk crept upon his face. “Sweet celestial biscuits…” Discord whispered in astonishment, mixed with a slightly unfamiliar feeling. Actually, the feeling wasn’t entirely foreign to him, but when it came to colts, Discord never felt anything like this. It was a fluttering within his chest.

“Why, hello Are you Big Mac.” Discord greeted smoothly, like the succubus he often appeared to be amongst the ponies.

The red colt bucked his head against an old tree, knocking the apples down. He did not look at Discord and simply said, “Eeyup.”

The draqoneus, being carried by the breeze, swooped around the stallion and curled his tail lightly around him.

“Dude are y’all high on Pinkie’s cider?” asked a confused Big Mac whom was blushing over a strange creature beckoning towards him in public.

“Oh no, Mac…I just never realized how handsome you are,” Discord commented suavely.

The crimson colored colt was beginning to feel embarrassed and slightly anxious inside. This was the first time another had harbored affection towards him; at least in a long time. “Eeyup,” Mac responded plainly. “You’re high.” He attempted to return to his bucking of apples, but the mystical creature had him quite tight in his grip.

“Where do you think you’re going, my sweet creature?” Discord whispered.

“GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SITE YOUR VARMIN!! GO TO MOLESTIA IF YOU ARE HAVING SEXUAL DESIRES!” Big Mac gave a snort with that remark.

“Whoa Mac, I thought you were a pony of few words!! A nice nope would have worked just fine with me..” Discord pouted his face and snapped his fingers. Just like that he was gone, leaving a flustered red colt frozen in astonishment,

****

Over the next few weeks, Discord found he was unable to get Mac out of his mind. The apple-colored pony being occupied his every thought throughout the day, which was completely different from what he was used to. He realized that he would need a way to win over the trust (and eventual affection) of his heart’s desire. But how was he to go about doing so?

He wanted this pony with every fiber of his being, like a seagull that wanted potato chips in a beach parking lot. Never had the draquneus longed for something unmaterialistic so deeply. Normally, he required power and self-assurance to complete him, but now it seemed this was not the case. How could it be?

It was that same week when Discord made an excuse to pay another visit to Sweet Apple Acres, the notorious Ponyville apple farm where he caught first glance of paradise. When he made his way through the orchard, he was greeted suspiciously by Applejack.

“Dis-cerd? What’s a city slicker like you doin’ ‘round these parts?” She inquired.

Oh damn. He hadn’t prepared an excuse. “Uh, well, uh, you see little lady…I’m lacking in the minerals department, hehe.” He laughed nervously. “I have plans to bake a cake—or a pie—I meant a pie. A pie. Yes, a pie. A good one, at that.” He gave an insincere smile.

“Somethin’ about that don’t seem right…” Applejack argued. “What’s a guy like you really doin’ here? Knowing you, it sure ain’t to get a recipe.”

The drab draquneous was far too busy feasting his eyes upon the reason of his arrival, who was doing his usual bucking of apples among the orchard. The leaves of summer shimmered, creating a surrounding that was both nostalgic and…romantic. Discord was speechless. The sky was blue with light, puffy clouds. The flowers blew about in the gentle breeze. He wanted so terribly to just approach that precious creature. If only it were that simple.

Applejack snapped him out of his daydream. “I asked you a question!”

“But it is to get a rice-a-pie, dear apple maiden! Er—a recipe!” He retorted.

The crimson apple bucker appeared in front of the two, his mane glistening from the day of hard work. Dear celestial skies and sweet pies…

“Eeyuuuuup! He was here about a week er two ago. Another weird one.” Mac said casually. “Don’t like ‘em. Hate ‘em.”

Discord’s mouth dropped.

Mac continued, “Real disgustin’…quite ugly…not cool. Not cool at all. Gives me bad vibes. Real bad vibes. “

Discord could take no more. “SILENCE YOURSELF!” He shouted.

The two apple ponies froze.

Discord took a deep breath. “You are…incredibly attractive,” He paused. “Yes, yes…an incredibly ravishing and handsome fellow! I cannot continue to deceive myself!” He grabbed a fresh, ripe and plump and pulsating apple with his tail and tossed it across the orchard in draconial frustration. The resistance and longing that had built up in him during this time was now too much to bear. “A feeling encompasses my inner chest! A peculiar one…I can only describe it as a sensation of greatness. A good analogy would be a bird…one that once fluttered and swooped high above the treetops until its wings snapped one evening and was from then on, unable to soar. I am a tortured man. And you, my friend, are a—a missed opportunity. Not only a missed opportunity, but a sad vision of youths past.”