The Apple Pony

by graceyadorable

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Alternate Universe
Length: 2149

Discord seems to have fallen in love with an Apple. Not just any Apple, its Big Mac!

Discord seems to have fallen in love with an Apple. Not just any Apple, its Big Mac!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-11 01:38:40 UTC

Chapter 1

The dull-colored mythical creature flew his way across Ponyville, unsure of what he was looking for. It appeared that lately, many of his infamous plans had failed. He felt empty, although he would never admit so aloud. Even Fluttershy, whom anypony would consider close to him, was unable to make his day any better.

Eventually, Discord found himself in the Sweet Apple Acers. The Apple family was working hard as usual to plant apple trees for the following season. That was when he spotted him… A dashing red colt was bucking apples in the hot summer sun. He brushed his hoof right below his golden forelock sweat trickling down. His hair swooshed in the breeze cooling him down. He swayed his head back in forth creating a soft heavenly glow. Discord’s wings shot straight up.

His eyes widened and a smirk crept upon his face. “Sweet celestial biscuits…” Discord whispered in astonishment, mixed with a slightly unfamiliar feeling. Actually, the feeling wasn’t entirely foreign to him, but when it came to colts, Discord never felt anything like this. It was a fluttering within his chest.

“Why, hello Are you Big Mac.” Discord greeted smoothly, like the succubus he often appeared to be amongst the ponies.

The red colt bucked his head against an old tree, knocking the apples down. He did not look at Discord and simply said, “Eeyup.”

The draqoneus, being carried by the breeze, swooped around the stallion and curled his tail lightly around him.

“Dude are y’all high on Pinkie’s cider?” asked a confused Big Mac whom was blushing over a strange creature beckoning towards him in public.

“Oh no, Mac…I just never realized how handsome you are,” Discord commented suavely.

The crimson colored colt was beginning to feel embarrassed and slightly anxious inside. This was the first time another had harbored affection towards him; at least in a long time. “Eeyup,” Mac responded plainly. “You’re high.” He attempted to return to his bucking of apples, but the mystical creature had him quite tight in his grip.

“Where do you think you’re going, my sweet creature?” Discord whispered.

“GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SITE YOUR VARMIN!! GO TO MOLESTIA IF YOU ARE HAVING SEXUAL DESIRES!” Big Mac gave a snort with that remark.

“Whoa Mac, I thought you were a pony of few words!! A nice nope would have worked just fine with me..” Discord pouted his face and snapped his fingers. Just like that he was gone, leaving a flustered red colt frozen in astonishment,

****

Over the next few weeks, Discord found he was unable to get Mac out of his mind. The apple-colored pony being occupied his every thought throughout the day, which was completely different from what he was used to. He realized that he would need a way to win over the trust (and eventual affection) of his heart’s desire. But how was he to go about doing so?

He wanted this pony with every fiber of his being, like a seagull that wanted potato chips in a beach parking lot. Never had the draquneus longed for something unmaterialistic so deeply. Normally, he required power and self-assurance to complete him, but now it seemed this was not the case. How could it be?

It was that same week when Discord made an excuse to pay another visit to Sweet Apple Acres, the notorious Ponyville apple farm where he caught first glance of paradise. When he made his way through the orchard, he was greeted suspiciously by Applejack.

“Dis-cerd? What’s a city slicker like you doin’ ‘round these parts?” She inquired.

Oh damn. He hadn’t prepared an excuse. “Uh, well, uh, you see little lady…I’m lacking in the minerals department, hehe.” He laughed nervously. “I have plans to bake a cake—or a pie—I meant a pie. A pie. Yes, a pie. A good one, at that.” He gave an insincere smile.

“Somethin’ about that don’t seem right…” Applejack argued. “What’s a guy like you really doin’ here? Knowing you, it sure ain’t to get a recipe.”

The drab draquneous was far too busy feasting his eyes upon the reason of his arrival, who was doing his usual bucking of apples among the orchard. The leaves of summer shimmered, creating a surrounding that was both nostalgic and…romantic. Discord was speechless. The sky was blue with light, puffy clouds. The flowers blew about in the gentle breeze. He wanted so terribly to just approach that precious creature. If only it were that simple.

Applejack snapped him out of his daydream. “I asked you a question!”

“But it is to get a rice-a-pie, dear apple maiden! Er—a recipe!” He retorted.

The crimson apple bucker appeared in front of the two, his mane glistening from the day of hard work. Dear celestial skies and sweet pies…

“Eeyuuuuup! He was here about a week er two ago. Another weird one.” Mac said casually. “Don’t like ‘em. Hate ‘em.”

Discord’s mouth dropped.

Mac continued, “Real disgustin’…quite ugly…not cool. Not cool at all. Gives me bad vibes. Real bad vibes. “

Discord could take no more. “SILENCE YOURSELF!” He shouted.

The two apple ponies froze.

Discord took a deep breath. “You are…incredibly attractive,” He paused. “Yes, yes…an incredibly ravishing and handsome fellow! I cannot continue to deceive myself!” He grabbed a fresh, ripe and plump and pulsating apple with his tail and tossed it across the orchard in draconial frustration. The resistance and longing that had built up in him during this time was now too much to bear. “A feeling encompasses my inner chest! A peculiar one…I can only describe it as a sensation of greatness. A good analogy would be a bird…one that once fluttered and swooped high above the treetops until its wings snapped one evening and was from then on, unable to soar. I am a tortured man. And you, my friend, are a—a missed opportunity. Not only a missed opportunity, but a sad vision of youths past.”

Chapter 2

The draquneus of drabness was lost without a cause for his existence. No more did he have chaotic inspiration. No more did he enjoy life. He smiled no more, therefore using more muscles in his face. He thought deeply during the days that followed the apple incident, and contemplated starting a new life.

First, he got new attire. He went to the Ponyville pawn shop and purchased a leather jacket. Then, he dyed his beard black and electric violet. He also got a nose piercing. "Those little horses best be prepared," he announced to himself. "Because there is a new Discord in town."

****

Discord made his way into town, walking with attitude. When the ponies saw him, their jaws practically fell to the floor. Some ran away in fear, while others just whispered to one another in confusion. That was when he spotted six familiar mares. He approached them suavely.

"My oh my! What on earth are you wearing?!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" Pinkie Pie asked, dead serious. "You look SUPER familiar!"

"Discord, is that YOU?" Rainbow Dash looked puzzled.

Discord responded casually, "Now, now ladies. It's nothing to get flustered over. I just figured I'd become a modern, new age man. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"

They all shouted "yes", with the exception of Fluttershy, who muttered "I... Don't think so..."

"Discord, you sent half the town running to their homes in fear!" Twilight remarked.

Applejack nodded in agreement with Twilight. "This ain't the place to be dressin' like a saloon-goer! Yer makin' a terrible impression!"

"Ahgg, doesn't he always?" Rainbow Dash groaned.

"Ya'll shoulda seen him a couple days ago," Applejack continued. "He came prancin' over to Sweet Apple Acres with an ulterior motive!"

The ponies gasped.

Fluttershy blinked. "An ulterior motive? Like what?"

Applejack went on to explain, "We all thought he was high on Pinkie's cider! I ain't never seen anything like it! He was--"

"Now that's ENOUGH, dear Applejack. That little matter is strictly between you and I--"

"Aw, shut it, Discord! They got the right to know that ya fancy my brother!"

There were more gasps.

"Big Mac...?" Twilight asked in astonishment.

Applejack nodded. "Thaaaat's right! And boy, did he make it known!"

"Who KNEW?" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Rarity was alarmed. "I don't believe it!"

"I'm tellin' you right now, Discord. If you even think about comin' back there and actin' the way you did, I'll drag ya out by your eyeballs!" Applejack threatened.

Discord sighed in fake defeat. "Well, I suppose if that's how you want it to be, it can't be helped. I'll simply return then to my depths of gloom and forsaken memories..." He began to float dracionally away.

"Wait!" A soft voice called from behind him. It was no other than Fluttershy. Discord turned his discolored head.

"I think it's kind of... sweet," Fluttershy admitted. "That you love someone, I mean. I wouldn't think you the type; not to judge or anything. Could I maybe... help you?"

"WHAT?!" Rainbow Dash shouted, bolting up into the air.

"Has she gone mad?" Rarity inquired.

Twilight sighed. "As much as I hate to admit it, maybe it would be good for you to go ahead and help him, Fluttershy. I mean, from what Applejack has told us, he's sure to cause more of a mess if he continues on his own."

Before anypony could object, Discord spoke. "Fluttershy, I would be honored if you could offer me your sweet assistance at a time like this. Why, I'll even make those cucumber sandwiches you like as a way of thanking you."

***

Sweet Apple Acres: the infamous destination. The duo had been preparing for days, trying to come up with a fool-proof plan that would send Discord's love life skyrocketing. Fluttershy had come to the conclusion that before anything could happen, however, Discord would first have to apologize for his previous behavior.

They spotted the entrance in the distance. They were so close... Discord felt that familiar fluttering within his chest. He knew the succulent stallion would be there; he always was, teasing his heart into a pulp of vulnerability. Fluttershy was wearing sunglasses, which she called her "serious shades". This meant business. The two had rehearsed the apology time and time again, and now they both agreed that the time was right.

"Are you ready, Discord?" Fluttershy asked hopefully.

The draquneus was floating nervously towards the entrance. "Y-yes, I do believe I am...after all, I haven't ruined my chances yet!"

Fluttershy gave a small smile. "That's the spirit," she pulled her shades up to her mane. "Now let's do this."

Discord swooped through the orchard, carrying Fluttershy on his back. She had agreed to keep watch behind an apple tree nearby, just in case chaos were to ensue. As he came closer to the barn, his mind began to race. Oh dear... What was that precious, precious apple bucker doing at this very moment? Certainly he would appear just as, if not more dashing than the last time.

The inside of the barn was perfectly kept. Bails of hay stacked high and buckets of apples arranged in a neat order by type. A little window up near the rafters allowed a curtain of light to shine below. Applebloom was seated on a bail of hay near Big Mac, noshing on a ripe apple after a long evening of working in the fields. That just would not do, however. Discord needed to be alone with Mac, without interruption from that child. The draquneus, hiding behind a stack of hay, teleported the small pony up through the rafters and out the window, much to her horror and dismay. Oh well. It had to be done.

Discord came out from behind the hay and cleared his throat, standing awkwardly in the open room like a mannequin with no clothes. "Big Mac? Macintosh? I came to say hello."

Mac now had his full attention. The stallion raised an eyebrow, looking impatient. Obviously he was still holding a grudge.

Discord slouched with shame. "Surely it must be rather strange for you, considering our rather dark past, but I assure you, I am here today to apologize. If you will only accept it, that is all I will ask."

Mac paused and then simply shrugged in response. "Eeyup. Sure. Whatever."

Discord's eyes lit up. "So you do forgive me?"

The red pony was already back to work, paying only half attention. "Eeyup."

"Oh, Mac, I am ever so grateful!" The draquneus flew in circles around the stallion. "Allow me to fully make it up to you. I'll take you out to a nice place. Surely you're sick and tired of apple this and apple that. How about I treat you to a rich creme brûlée, or perhaps deep-fried is more your style--"

"Uh, okay. Just uh, don't get weird." Mac hesitantly agreed.