Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Goldrennette studied his book of Heraldry as he prepared to draw an initial design for the Family Crest of Sir Big Macintosh.  He still seemed rather dismissive not only of Pink Lady, but his wife Ananasrenette.

"Now according to our research," he began, "Your family does not have any previous Heraldic Crests.  This greatly simplifies matters as regards to your own crest."

"It does?" asked Big Mac.

"Oh yes.  Incorporating previous Crests always complicates matters, especially when both sides of the family have them."

He nodded.

"Of course," he added, "We need to make a nod to your companion, Princess Twilight Sparkle.  But fortunately, we don't need to include that in the main part of the Crest.  We can save that part for the Helm Coronet and Supporters."

He nodded again as Twilight looked on.  The terms went over his head, but he figured he could question him about it later.

"So let's start with the Banner," he said as he looked at him, "Would you like it to say something other than 'Apple Clan'?"

"That's fine with me," he replied.

He drew the outline of a knightly shield, and then added a hand drawn banner reading 'Apple Clan' underneath it.  On the face of the shield, he divided it with a broad line bend sinister with a bright green stripe.  In the upper right side, he drew a rough sketch of Big Macintosh's cutie mark, and then drew an apple tree with a variety of colors of apples in its branches in the lower left side.  On the right side of the tree was a mug, and a pie to the left  Above the shield, he drew Twilight's Celestial cutie mark, and then added Celestia rampant dextrous and Luna rampant sinister in regards to the shield with both of them facing the shield  Both of the sister's cutie marks were clearly noted on their flanks.

"It is common practice to incorporate the Patriarch's Cutie Mark as part of the Heraldic Shield," he said evenly, "and another symbol representing the general social value or function of the family in regards to their area.  In your case, it seems to be almost entirely related to growing apples and products related to the same."

He turned the drawing board so that Big Mac could see it more clearly.

"That looks great," he said amiably.

So he turned the board back as he began to color in the Crest loosely.

"I must say this is going much faster than normal," commented Goldrenette.

"Then you already seem to know," noted Twilight, "how these things are supposed to go?"

"Well," he replied, "Most nobles seem to think they know as much about Heraldry as the Society does, so they tend to have some... unrealistic notions... about what should go on their shield.  You wouldn't believe the number of ponies out there who claim Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, or even Princess Cadance as one of their ancestors.  I wouldn't even think it would be reasonable to include Celestia and Luna here if you weren't the Royal Consorts to Princess Twilight Sparkle."

"There is no world that I can see," said Jifar, "that my goddess is not there with me."

He raised an eyebrow, but only said, "That's not my... department."

Twilight also raised an eyebrow, but did not comment about it.

"Do you perchance keep tea around here?" he asked of Big Mac.

"A-yup."

"Pink Lady, my dear," he said turning to the maid, "find the tea and make some."

She nodded as she headed for the kitchen, and Twilight noticed that Jifar followed her once she left.

"Now we need to settle on the initial number of shields to be produced," he said as he looked at his drawing again, "Since you don't have Guards or soldiers of your own at the moment, it seems all you really need is a few wall hangers, and perhaps a few personal shields for your arms locker.  I've been told you have dress plate, but no field plate, so that simplifies things."

"Why would I need armor in the field?" asked Big Mac.

He rolled his eyes as he said, "The battle field, sir."

"Well I reckon I won't need that any time soon," he replied.

"If the Ponyville region faced a military threat," he answered, "then you would be required to offer your services to the Crown of Equestria.  That is the duty of all of the Knights of Equestria."

"It's lucky it's been a real long time since we had one of those."

"Agreed."

"That is why Celestia uses diplomacy," said Twilight, "to avoid conflict across the sea."

"As long as it doesn't weaken our global position."

"There should be no global score," she replied, "Just to see who has more."

"And yet nations are measured by their treasures."

"Ponies are a vast treasure," she mused, "that has no means of measure."

"That's all well and good, but we must also do all we can to cultivate measurable treasures like gold, silver, gems and jewels.  We must produce our way to prosperity because if we don't, it shall surely lead to stagnation and decline."

"While I don't wish to sound sore, I believe Celestia values her ponies more."

"I merely believe that Celestia may not publicly and openly pursue such matters, she surely keeps them in mind.  Anypony can tell that Canterlot was built by its wealth."

"The wealth is merely a perk of the ponies' hard work."

He sighed, and then called, "Is that tea coming, Pink Lady?!"

"It is coming shortly, my Lord!" she called from the kitchen, "The stove is somewhat old and took a little time to heat up!"

"Sometimes I wonder why I bother to retain her services," he muttered under his breath.

Twilight clearly heard, but wasn't sure if Big Mac did.