Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Random, Alternate Universe, Anthro, Romance
Length: 48804

Now that's his union with Jifar has been blessed by Celestia, and they are Consorts to Princess Twilight, he wants all of the Apple Clan to celebrate it with him.

Big Macintosh decided it's time his new wife Jifar calls the Apple Clan together to celebrate their union blessed by Celestia with an official wedding ceremony, and of course it wouldn't be complete without having his other love, Princess Twilight Sparkle, attend as well as represent the interests of the Crown. But will the Apple Clan accept a giraffe as one of them? Will there be a problem with having Opa and Zecora hanging about with the new looking and new sounding Twilight Sparkle? Then there's the whole matter of Applejack, her four pairs of breasts, and the odd desire to hang around big brother and his new wife… during those moments of intimacy. He has to wonder just how much she changed when they were being held captive by the Diamond Dogs, not to mention they aren't very far away from the new dog community being built by the Crown on the dog's behalf.
Note: All characters portrayed are old enough to engage in sexual activities, including Apple Bloom.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-22 02:51:22 UTC

(3) A Big Fat Supper

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Big Mac sauntered down stairs and into the kitchen with a huge cow-pie eating grin on his face.  It became more clear what he was smiling about when Jifar came in behind him carrying Twilight in her arms with a rather hot blush in her cheeks.  She shivered as Jifar licked the length of her horn.

"Ah," he said, "Ah guess a good warm bath does make a pony feel just so much better.  In fact, ah totally feel relaxed an ready fer supper."

"Funny," mused Applejack, "Twilight don't look all that relaxed ta me."

"She seemed mighty relaxed while I was..."

Granny cleared her throat LOUDLY.

"While you were..." began Apple Bloom as she shuffled in behind them.

Granny cleared her throat even LOUDER.

"Y'all should have Kimbuala look at that there throat of yers, Granny," he said, "It's startin ta sound real bad."

Granny looked at the ponies around her and just rolled her eyes.

Big Mac pulled out a chair as Jifar placed Twilight, and then moved down two places to pull out a chair for Jifar.  Once they were both seated and comfortable, he sat himself down between them.  He then grabbed his knife and fork as he asked, "What all's fer supper, Granny?"

"Ever since I met that nice Miss Kimbuala," she replied, "I've learned so much about the medicinal and food value of many kinds of mushrooms.  So today, I'm tryin a new stew recipe that includes green onion, bean sprouts, water chestnuts,.. and stuff...  It's all gonna be served on that white rice she done bought fer us."

"That all sounds great!" he replied with great enthusiasm.

Twilight noticed that everypony was nodding in agreement with him.

He leaned closer and said quietly to Twilight, "That was the second biggest bag of rice I've ever seen in mah life."

Apple Bloom volunteered to serve everypony, which made Twilight smile as she saw how fast she was growing and maturing.  She made sure they all had bread, salad and something to drink as well.

"Anypony ready for seconds?" she asked, "Refill, Big Mac?"

"It's all right, sugar-cube" replied Granny, "Serve yerself, sit down, and take care of yer own supper afore ya start making a fuss bout everypony else's seconds."

They all nodded.  She blinked and looked around the table as she served herself.  Jifar and Big Mac seemed to be more concerned about feeding each other than themselves, and it seemed to be pretty much the same way between Opa and Zecora.  While Big Mac and Jifar ate like pigs (no offense to swine), Twilight seemed to be eating like a bird.

Big Mac turned to look at her as he asked, "Ain't the grub here good?"

Twilight blinked as she looked back, and replied, "Oh the food is surely plenty great!  I'm just not hungry enough to clear my plate!"

"Twilight has not eaten since we left the hut," replied Zecora, "so to her I must surely say 'tut-tut'."

He turned to face her as he held a spoonful of stew, and said, "C'mon, sugar-cube.  It all is good fer ya.  We wanna have ya nice an fit when ya have mah foal."

"Speaking of foals is a tad premature," she replied, "Who knows when I should... *glurk*"  Her statement was cut off when he shoved the spoon into her mouth.  She paused a moment as she chewed and swallowed.

"Even a goddess should feed herself well," added Jifar, "so she shall be no empty shell."

"Still it's far premature to think I shall be carrying a newborn," she answered, "that my belly should be swollen and... *glurk*"  Another spoon of food was shoved in her food hole.

"Heck, even little Apple Bloom eats more than you," he chuckled, "It ain't gonna look good if'n I let my ward go an git herself rail thin on mah watch."

"My truest love is surely right," agreed Jifar, "Undernourished goddesses are a fright."

Twilight sighed as she figured she was going to be fed that amount they felt was proper, so she sat there as he fed her one spoonful after another.  Jifar was quite content to glance behind him and smile as she saw her goddess getting her face stuffed.

Apple loom paused to make sure every glass refilled, and with all she poured not a drop was spilled.

"Thank you, dearie," said Granny to her as she refilled her apple cider.

Applejack seemed to be a little uncomfortable as she watched her big brother, her future sister-in-law, and the Princess carrying on so.  But she did her best to hide it from the others.

Apple Bloom was up and serving up seconds to everypony but Twilight, who simply shook her head 'no' as she passed.  But then she figured at least some of the grub she piled onto Big Mac's plate was going to wind up in her mouth anyways, so she just didn't say anything about it.

Suddenly Applejack stood as she said, "Please pardon me, but I gotta take care of somethin in the bathroom.  Just go on til I come back."

"Ya shoulda done that afore..."

"Oh, just let her go already," replied Granny, "We all have a moments we just didn't see coming... Actually, the older I get, the more I... Oh, that's besides the point!  Yer excused, Applejack!"

She nodded at Granny as she scooted out of the dining room.  Twilight seemed to watch her closely as she left before Big Mac shoveled another spoonful of stew into her food hole.

"Y'all think that Celestia an Luna will come by fer the wedding?" asked Granny.

"Oh I think it should be agreed," said Jifar as she smiled at Twilight, "that one goddess is all we need."

"Oh, I'll make darn sure their invites git sent ta them," said Big Mac, "and even if they never respond, I ain't gonna turn THEM away from the proceedings."

They continued to eat, and yet Twilight couldn't help but notice that Applejack had not returned.  "Oh I am so surely stuffed," she said as she stood, "I fear my mane needs to be fluffed.  After dinner when wedding plans should bloom, I shall go to the living room."  She stepped out before anypony else could comment.

"Her mane looks fine and all ta me," muttered Big Mac just after she stepped out most likely in the direction of Jifar.  She was still just close enough to hear.

Twilight moved to the bathroom do, making sure that no one was coming behind, and heard something going on inside.  The door stood slightly ajar, so she peeked in.  She could see Applejack sitting on the pot with her flank over the edge of the seat.  Her shirt was wide open showing her four pairs of breasts, and her pants were quite down about her hooves.  She was panting heavily as one hand fondled a breast, and the other was fingering her mareslit hotly.  Her head was thrown back with her eyes shut tight as she moaned and carried on.

In fact, she was so distracted that she didn't even hear Twilight enter, or closed the door fully behind her.  She didn't noticed Twilight move closer until she clamped a hand over her mouth.  Then her eyes snapped open as she looked into Twilight's.

"It is alright," said Twilight, "It's not a fight."

"mmmph?" asked Applejack.

"But you should be more careful when you seek relief," she continued, "lest you may cause yourself some grief."

"Mmmph!"

"I suspected what you were up to," she replied, "and I sensed just what I should do."

"Hmm?!"

"Ever since that day that you came to bed with Opa, Jifar, and me," she said softly, "I sensed an attraction to us I could plainly see."

"MMMPH!"

"While I shall not infer any shame or disgrace," she replied, "do not allow your erotic feelings to displace.  While the Diamond Dogs kept you as their prize, their spells and potions affected you before our eyes.  Now I shall let your muzzle go, but make a fuss and all shall know."

She pulled her hand back as Applejack panted, "I wondered if anypony could understand how I feel right now.  Maybe I shoulda come ta ya sooner..."

"You should neither fret nor fear," she replied, "I'll take care of you now that I'm here."

Moving her hands up to her own breasts, Twilight leaned in and kissed her full on the lips as her own hand replaced hers in rubbing and caressing her mareslit.  She could tell by the puffiness and wetness between Applejack's legs just how much she had already aroused herself.  It only seemed like a moment before she was cumming on Twilight's fingers.

But then she heard a knock at the door as Granny asked, "You alright in there, sugar-cube?"

Twilight pulled back from the kiss, covered Applejack's mouth with her hand again, and shook her head 'no'.

"Uh..." she replied, "I'm so sorry, Granny, but... I had a cartload'a stuff in me...  Be right out in'a jiffy!"

"Just making sure... everythin is comin out alright.  There's no one waiting out here, so... just do whatcha have to."

Twilight winked as she vanished in a flash of light, so Applejack hurried to clean herself up and redress before she went back out.  She gave the toilet a flush, even though she hadn't actually used it.

After the Big Wedding Plans

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

"Here I thought the wedding of Princess Cadance and Shining Armor was such an ordeal," sighed Twilight as she walked upstairs after hours of wedding planning, "Yet it takes such planning even something that's supposed to be a smaller wedding deal."  She was tired and ready for bed, so she was expecting to sleep on Big Mac's couch.

But as soon as she opened the door to step in, she was glomped onto by a giraffe who was overjoyed to see her again.  She found her head dragged face first into the cleft of her really large breasts as her arms wrapped about her, pinning both her arms and wings as she was held tight.

Twilight mentally sighed as she realized she was getting used to such greetings.  She didn't even bother to try to mutter a protest about it any more.

"It's just so beautiful that the two of ya git along so fabulous-like," sighed Big Macintosh.  Judging by the creaking of the bed springs, he was already on the bed.

"Mmmph mmm uummm mmm emm," she muttered into the fleshy mass surrounding her face, "Mmmuuummm mmmph emm emm."

"Uh,.. sugar-buns?" he said softly, "While ah know ya don't mean nuthin wrong there, I think Twilight is tryin ta say something, but your affections are jus gettin a little smotherin..."

Twilight took an exaggerated deep breath as Jifar let go of her.

"I was overjoyed to see my goddess," she replied, "that perhaps I overdid it I must confess."  But even as she said she was sorry, Twilight could feel her clothing being stripped off at a frightening speed.

Now that she could see clearly, she noticed that Jifar was already quite naked, and Big Mac just as much.  Judging by his throbbing erection, they were just about to get busy when she interrupted them.

"I have interrupted you as you mate," said Twilight with a blush, "so perhaps I should..."

"Nonsense, sugar-cube," he said, "Jifar was gettin ready ta bounce on my stallionhood, so ya can just get that flank of yers over mah face so ya won't feel left out neither."

"I do not with to bother you so," she replied, "Perhaps I should..."

Jifar cut her off with a kiss to the lips, and the next thing she knew, she was being lifted onto the bed and settled down so that his face was between her thighs.  Jifar slipped onto the bed as well to mount his cock even as she continued to lean forward and embrace Twilight.  She began to bounce on his member as she felt him licking and lapping at Twilight's mareslit.

"I'm not sure I'll ever know," she sighed, "why you both should love me so."

Big Mac couldn't answer for obvious reasons.

"Perhaps I could ask Zecora wise," Jifar replied, "or Opa with her dreamy eyes."

So Twilight just engaged Jifar in a deep kiss with much tongue as she just gripped her generous breasts with her hands and fondled her really large nipples.  She was moved by what Big Mac could do to her with just his mouth and his tongue, which even felt overly muscled by itself.

A little feeling in the hairs on her neck told her that someone was peeking again, so she looked towards the closet door and could take a wild guess about the eye that was looking back at them.  Judging by the soft pants, she realized she was trying to be more quiet as she fingered herself.

But Twilight could almost feel after a number of minutes had passed by the way his tongue behaved that he was blowing his wad into Jifar.  But she was rather excited and aroused herself by the way he was eating her out, and she wondered just how much practice he might have had on his wife's mareslit.

It seemed by her magical senses that Jifar and her were getting their own orgasm on at the same time.  They rested their heads on each other's shoulders as they moaned, their vaginas gripped what was inside them, and they tingled up and down their spine as they felt their pleasure released.

So Twilight climbed off his face as she panted and came down from her sexual high.  He leaned over to the nightstand, opened a drawer, and removed an oddly familiar looking clay vial from it.

"Is that what I think I see?" she asked, "Could that a nursing potion be?"

"E-YUP."

"But after what happened before," she replied, "should she now be taking more?"

"I shall drink whatever I see," replied Jifar, "should it make my love happy."

"Yep," he replied, "I tell ya when we finally have our first colt, they is gonna be so happy ta be breast fed."

Jifar gulped down the potion and shivered as it took effect so quickly.

He sat up next to her and said, "C'mon Twillie.  I'm ready fer a late night drink, and my little Jifar would love it so much if we made full use of both of them thar milk supplies if'n ya know what I mean."  He took a breast in his hands and took her nipple fully into his mouth as he began suckling like a babe.

Twilight blushed a bit more as she did the same herself.  Even as she gulped down the milk hard and fast, she could feel Jifar shivering as she well knew how sensitive that potion made her nipples while she was forced to lactate.  But she suddenly let go of the nipple as she sat back.

"Is there something that is wrong," asked Jifar, "that you should not nurse from me long?"

"I believe there's a pony I can see," she replied, "who'd probably want this treat more than me."

The closet door opened as a naked Applejack floated over, her face blushing hotly as she had both been caught in the act of pleasuring herself, and now could be seen by Jifar and Big Macintosh as well.

"I'ts fine with me," he said, "but I reckon that we gotta speak bout this one of these here days."

So Applejack was placed on her knees before Jifar so she could suckle from her breast in Twilight's place.  Jifar simply smiled as if it were all totally okay with her, so she just began caressing Applejack's four pair of breasts.  Twilight moved behind Jifar to both hug her back as well as take the chance to slip her hand over the giraffe's thigh to rub her hand against her own mareslit.

And they could all see the tears streaming down Applejack's face as she suckled.

"I hope that I am not so right," replied Twilight, "but are you feeling alright?"

As she let go, she began to openly bawl, "Ah don't know what's wrong with meh!  Why am I here?!  Why do I wanna do this so bad?!  Y'all must hate me!  I've turned inta some kinda pervert an monster!!"

Big Macintosh hugged her tightly as he said, "STOP IT, SUGAR-CUBE!  We love ya an I'll never think any different!"

"You've been through much of the same ordeal as me," added Jifar. "So THERE IS NO SHAME HERE TO SEE!"

They all hugged her as she bawled her eyes out.

There was a knock on the door as they heard Granny say, "What is goin on in there?!"

"It's all right Granny!" he called towards the door, "Applejack can't sleep cuz of them thar nighmares again!  Ya know them bad dreams jus upset her so much!"  He paused to add, "So we all is lettin her sleep with us til she gits over them."

"Yer such a good son and wife," relied Granny as she walked away.

"Now ah got ya lyin fer me," sobbed Applejack.

"It ain't a real lie," he replied, "cuz this IS a nightmare ta you.  It's just not while yur sleepin."

Twilight began to climb out of bed as the other looked.

"There is a crisis that I see," she said simply, "Applejack needs you more than me."

"Thank you," sobbed Applejack.

She made her way over to the closet and took out a sheet before she went over to the couch.  Jifar was snuggling down with Applejack hugging her from one side as Big Mac snuggled with his wife from the other.

The Best Wedding Night Ever

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Applejack awoke the next morning.  She yawned and looked about to realize that she was in her big brother's bedroom... all by herself.  Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she stood up and stretched out.  She went to his closet and put on one of his triple extra-large button-up shirts.  Then she tied the shirt off just underneath her lowest pair of breasts.

Unfortunately, there just wasn't anything in his room that would remotely fit her as far as pants, shorts, or even underwear went.  All she could do was improvise a pair of panties from one of his extra-large handkerchiefs, although she did promise herself she'd buy him a new one once she got the chance.

Then she wandered into the hall to see if she could find anyone.  The upper hall was oddly empty.  She checked Apple Bloom's room to discover she wasn't in either.  The same held true with Granny's room.  Finally, she went to her own room to look for a suitable pair of jeans, but found her own room bare.  Everything was gone.

She went down the stairs to the main hall of the first floor and turned to go to the kitchen.  The house seemed empty and quiet in a way which rather unnerved her.  It seemed everything on the first floor was far dustier than she remembered.  The kitchen was also not only empty, it looked as if it wasn't lived in for some time.  There was none of the usual things setting about, like the bread box, the salt and pepper shakers, the sugar bowl, or anything like them.

Sounds drew her to the door to the back yard.  Looking out the back door window, she could see a big crowd in the back.  Judging by their dress and the way they were arranged, it looked like somepony was getting married.  She wondered how she could have slept all the way through the wedding preparations or the arrival of the rest of the Apple Clan.  But something didn't seem right to her as she threw open the door and ran out back.

It was then that she noticed it.  Half of the yard was ponies:  Earth, Pegasus and Unicorn.  Mostly Earth ponies.  There was members of the Apple Clan present from ALL over Equestria proper and from places beyond.

The other side was a mix of beings:  Giraffes, Okapi, Oryx and Zebra.  She figured they must have come all the way from Zebrica just for the occasion, as she figured they all couldn't be related to Jifar.  The two sides were separated by the path that led to the platform where the magister stood waiting to perform the wedding ceremony.

But there seemed to be no sign of bride nor groom anywhere.

Applejack didn't feel she was dressed to mingle with either crowd, so she stayed close to the back door as she looked around.  It seemed nopony was particularly interested in looking back in her direction.  So she noticed that the barn was close by, so she'd sneak over there to look for big brother and his wife.  Perhaps she might find Princess Twilight there as well.

What she found in the barn was a wagon decked out for the bride and groom to ride away after the wedding.  It was covered with white cloth banners and streamers that ended in empty tin cans.  But she heard something going on just past it, and the horses that were hooked up to it.

"Applejack," sighed a stallion, "How could ya go an do this ta us?"

"There should be no way," said Jifar, "not on our wedding day."

She rushed around the wagon to see Big Mac and Jifar in their wedding finery staring at something in the corner.  Their words and tone were greatly upsetting her, and neither of them seemed to know she was even there.  They were staring at a strange bitch and her pups.  A litter of six.  They were nursing as the bitch lay on her side.  She wondered what it had to do with her until she realized... the dog and all her pups were orange with green eyes!

"NOOO!!!" she screamed at the rafters.

Suddenly, she was laying on her side watching six pups nursing from her teats.  She was the orange bitch.

"It is odd how our deep seated fears manifest themselves in our nightmares," sighed a regal voice nearby.  It seemed that Big Mac and Jifar were replaced by a mare who seemed to be better dressed in black for a funeral than a wedding, but she was dressed most regally in any case.  It was the calm and even gaze of Princess Luna looking down on her.

Applejack whimpered at her.

"Speak Applejack," she replied, then paused before saying, "We mean, it's a dream.  You can speak to us."

"What's wrong with me, Princess?!"

"It is not as bad as you yourself are making it out to be."

"An how ya figure that?"

"You will NOT become a dog like Winona."

"Ya can promise that?"

"While I'm not infallible, I can see that your changes have not progressed any since you've come back to Sweet Apple Acres... not in the physical sense..."

"But the strange urges I feel... they just ain't right."

"After your ordeal with the Diamond Dogs, you aren't as bad off as you think.  Rainbow Dash is now quite literally a Pegasus-dog now.  It may take Rarity months if not years to put her back into the state of mind she had before this all happened.  You should see that your problems are not as bad as hers."

"But will mah family accept meh for who I am now?"

"We cannot say for sure, but I think that perhaps your clan may well be a bit more open minded and tolerant that you may well be giving them credit for.  You just have to give them the chance to accept you."

"Thank you, Princess.  I feel calmer already."

She nodded.  When Luna reached down, she didn't grab a paw, but instead saw that she was holding her hand as she was lifted to her feet.  The Princess led her outside to see Big Mac and Jifar standing before Twilight Sparkle.  She seemed to be saying something to them that Applejack couldn't hear.

"Hey Applejack!" called Braeburn, "Git up there!  They can't get married unless you give them the rings!"

She looked down to see she was holding a red silk pillow with two golden rings on it.  Rushing around the side of the crowd, she found herself besides Jifar as she faced Twilight.

"While I normally wait for none," said a voice behind Twilight, "It seems most of the work here has been done."

From behind Twilight emerged Opa and Zecora.  They seemed out of place considering that they were both in their birthday hides while the rest were dressed to the nines.

"Not as strange as it seems," said Zecora, "to come with you into dreams."

"It seems that it is fair," she replied, "to say this is a nightmare."

"It seems we are going to be doing similar... work... from now on," said Luna as she walked up the center isle.

"As long as we should not compete," said Opa, "then we can both be complete."

"We would like that very much," said Luna with a smile, "Perhaps with your help with dreams, I can find some time for other things to pursue."

Everyone paused as Luna, Opa and Zecora seemed to sense something all around them.

"While we would like to see the rest of this, we think you are about to be rudely awakened.  Take care," said Luna as she faded away.  Opa and Zecora suddenly disappeared as well.

...

Applejack awoke with a start.  It was totally dark all around her, and she felt horribly smothered.  It only took a split second for her to realize that the giraffe had rolled over on top of her, and she was being smothered under her huge motherly breasts (among other things).

"MMMPPPHHH!" she called into the fleshy mass.

"Honey-buns," groaned Big Mac sleepily, "It ain't gonna look so good if'n ya smother mah little sister ta death."

"Then I surely must apologize," she yawned, "for my clumsy attempt to arise."

"Mmmppphhh," she muttered.

Jifar used her arms to push herself up so Applejack at least had room to breath easily, but she still felt trapped between her boobs as she lay on the bed.  It didn't help that they lay on each other stomach to stomach and hips to hips as well.

"In a moment I shall awake," she said as she yawned again, "Then further action I shall take."

"No hurry there, big sister-in-law."

"That's funny," muttered Big Mac, "considering she's most likely the same age as Apple Bloom."

"But callin her little sister-in-law just don't seem right neither."

"Ironic, ain't it?"

"Well now that the plans are set, we need ta git ta work on the invites for the rest of the Apple Clan an stuff, big brother," said Applejack, "I really wanna help ya with that an all."

"Well me an Granny will be happy ta take any help ya can give, little sister.  Just remember that no matter what happens, ya will always be mah little sister and an Apple to the core."

Applejack choked slightly, sniffled, and said, "That means everythin ta me, big brother."

(6) Knights of the Bath

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Twilight awoke in a position she surely didn't remember falling asleep in.  She was being carried in the arms of Jifar with her motherly breasts laying across her stomach.  One arm was loosely pinned against the giraffe's side, and both her other arm and wings were more actively pinned by it.  She lifted her head of Jifar's shoulder as she gazed into her eyes.

"Mornin Twillie," said Big Macintosh from behind.

"Perhaps I would like to know," said Twilight with a yawn, "Where we all intend to go?"

"I only take you along the path," she replied, "so that we may share a bath."

"Yeah," he agreed, "Granny wouldn't like it if we came downstairs smelling like this an all.  Applejack has agreed ta wait til we're done afore she cleans herself up."

"Perhaps we should take a seat," suggested Jifar, "while we wait for the water to heat?"

She sat on a wide stool while they watched Big Mac light up the large water heater and make sure that the tank holding several gallons of water was full.  When Twilight reached out with her mostly free arm and lightly stroked a nipple, it made her shiver.

"It seems that the nursing potion is still in effect," said Twilight softly, "Perhaps I should see if there's still milk that I can detect."  She turned the breast towards her mouth as she took the nipple into her mouth, and Jifar definitely shuddered as she began to nurse.  They could both tell that milk was flowing freely still.

"The water should be nice an hot in a..." he said as he turned to look.  Pausing, he gulped as he watched Jifar being nursed by Twilight, and the look of bliss on her face as a result.

"I think you know what I wish from you," she panted softly, "after all, I do have two."

He leaned over Twilight's legs as he took the other breast and began suckling from its nipple himself.  It seems that they both had to suckle harder as the milk slowly dried up, but that simply made her arousal levels increase just that much faster.  Only minutes passed until she was moaning her orgasmic pleasure loudly, but the steam whistle from the water heater did a good job of covering it.

With a cow-pie eating grin, he turned to release the valve so the whistling stopped.  It just meant that the water was ready.  Filling the tub was almost an art in itself, and one had to balance the water from the heater with cold water from the faucet to get it to just the right temperature.  Once he nodded to them, Jifar stood, stepped over the edge of the tub, and lowered them both into the water at the same time.  It left the lower part of Twilight's legs dangling over the edge of the tub.  Then he settled in at the other side of the tub.

"Ah, ain't nothin like a bath ta git one ready fer the day," he sighed.

"Well I surely know," sighed Twilight as she looked, "that you are ready to go."

He wondered what she might mean until he noticed that looking at the two naked mares had given him wood, and that it was long enough to break the surface of the water for all of them to see.

"Well... ain't that... just all kinds... of special..." he said with a blush.

The two mares giggled at how awkward he suddenly sounded.

"It seems by some chance," said Twilight, "we see the knight's lordly lance?"

Big Mac blinked at her.

"Let us say when he wishes to joust with his steed," she cooed, "He must mount the steed of knightly need?"

He stared back blankly.  Her horn glowed as she floated above the water, and she positioned herself facing him with her mareslit right over the head of his cock.  Then she began to settle down on it.

"Oh, ya want me ta ride ya?!" he said, "Ya shoulda jus said so, sweetums."

The head of his rigid cock parted her labia as it slid up inside her.  It slowly disappeared from view as her flanks settled into the bath water.  Then she rose up some before she settled down again.  He seemed well pleased by her actions.  His hands caressed her flanks about her cutie marks as she moved up and down.

As minutes passed, she went from pants to moans, and her wings rose from her back into a full wingboner.  But then, it helped as Jifar's hands reached around her torso to fondle her own good-sized breasts from behind her.  She leaned back more and more against Jifar and her breasts for support as her growing arousal slowly ate away at her will to control her magic.  It seemed that after a few minutes, it was only Jifar's hands and arms that were really keeping her supported.

The glow from her horn changed slightly as it spread from her to both of the others.  They all shuddered as they all came as one thanks to Twilight's Orgasmic Convergence Spell.

Twilight looked at the blush in his cheeks as she said, "Many feel awkward the first time they have magically assisted sex.  I assure you that it is not some kind of magical hex."

"It all works fer me." he panted as he finished pumping his seed into Twilight.

"It's lucky we need not make a scene," said Jifar, "in order to get ourselves clean."  She rubbed Twilight's mareslit with a sponge as soon as she dismounted from Big Mac.

"Ah could get quite used ta this," he sighed.

And then there was Kinsfolk

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

After bath and breakfast, Twilight went out to the fields to help Big Mac and Jifar to tend to the apple fields for the day.  Spike was tending to the Library with his new marefriend Bakabaka while she was gone, and she was sure Spike would somehow get a message to her if there was a problem.  While she was normally Rarity's maid, she was pretty sure that the tailor unicorn wouldn't mind lending her Oryx maid to help clean up Spike's room and other parts of the Library.

But about noon, Apple Bloom came running out to Big Mac and said, "There's somepony important-like from Canterlot at the house to see you, Big Mac.  Granny is talking to them in the living room til you get there, but they seemed to be in an aweful hurry."

So the three of them made there way back to the house.

"I wonder who wants to see me now?" he asked.

"I would also like to see," said Twilight, "who these visitors may be."

As he came in the back door, he could hear Granny saying, "I think that might be them now."

He walked into the living room as Jifar and Twilight followed.

Sitting in two good living room chairs was a stallion and mare he had never seen before, but it was obvious by their rich dress that they were important someponies.

The stallion was middle aged bordering on elderly, but still fairly handsome.  His goatee and handlebar mustache were both heavily waxed, making the ends of them thin and curled up.  While his mane and tail were white, his hide was dappled gray.  However, his pants prevented his cutie mark from being seen.  He was dressed in a black tux and pants as if he just came back from the opera.  A pair of small round glasses with a thin wire frame was perched on his nose, and they could see the frills from the neck and sleeves from his brilliant white silk shirt.  Sitting on the stand next to the chair was a tall black silk stovepipe hat with a white silk band just above the rim.  His eyes were dark brown.

It was a little harder to judge the mare's age, but they could tell she was mature.  Her hide was a light gold color as was her mane and tail.  Even her eyes were a bright golden color.  She was wearing a fine dark blue dress with several skirts and underskirts, a white blouse with frills about the neck and wrists, and they could see a tight corset about her waist.  The shoulders were puffy, and her corset had a fluffy bun in the back.  Her head was covered with a fine white bonnet tied just under her chin.

"Do I have the honor of addressing Sir Big Macintosh?" asked the stallion.

"E-yup."

"I see," he replied as he looked him over in his coveralls, "Princess Celestia asked us to come and see you.  We represent the Canterlot Heraldry Society, and she asked us to register your Family Crest.  However, since we couldn't find such a crest, we feel it will be necessary to aid you in the design of one."  His gaze told Twilight that he wasn't the pony he was expecting to see.

"Howdy," he replied, "Well, ya know me, but I don't know you."

"Oh, I am Goldrenette Freiherr von Berlepsch," he said, "and this lovely mare is my wife, Ananasrenette."

"Nice to meet y'all."

"For some reason, that sounds familiar," said Granny as she rocked.

"Well we are distantly related to the Apple Clan," he replied, "I know Apple Strudel from our village in Germaneigh."

"Well we never saw you at any reunions."

"It is a rather distant relations," he replied.

"Ah promise that ya get invites to the next one," said Big Mac.  Then he paused to add, "Ah better make sure ya get a wedding invite as well."

Meanwhile, Ananasrenette rose from her seat to curtsey to Twilight.

"It is surely an honor to meet the Princess Twilight Sparkle," she said softly.

"Being a Princess is fairly new," she replied, "but it is an honor to meet you."

"And I take it this fair damsel," said Goldrenette as he nodded to Jifar, "must be the fair Dame Jifar Macintosh?"

She nodded.

Twilight noticed another mare standing in the corner of the room by the front window.  "There is another mare that is see," she noted, "I wonder who she might be?"

He glanced over his shoulder as if he had forgotten she was there, and said, "Oh, that is our maid, Pink Lady."

She was much more plain looking that the others.  Her hide was fair, her mane and tail strawberry blonde.  The eyes seemed to be a reddish color.  Her dress was more plain.  Something old fashioned that Twilight had seen on mares the age of Granny.  It was a plain light green with one skirt and two underskirts.  Even her bonnet was both plain and rather old fashioned.

"Would you be a dear," he said as he continued to look at the maid, "and fetch my drawing and calligraphy materials from the carriage?"

She nodded as she left the room.  Twilight walked over to the window to glance out at the royal carriage outside.  She watched Pink Lady hurry out to it, open the cargo box in the back, and begin fishing around inside.  When the maid pulled out a large box that appeared to weight as much as she did and she seemed to have a great deal of trouble carrying it, Twilight flash teleported outside and used her horn to float it out of her hands.

"You need not bother, marelady" said the maid.

"As a Princess I shall decide," she replied, "what tasks I shall abide."

The maid followed her as she walked back to the house.  As they returned to the living room, the stallion said without looking, "Pink Lady, you surely took your time with fetching the case."

"It would have taken her longer," said Twilight, "if not aided by somepony... stronger."

He glanced over his shoulder to see the Princess moving her case with her magic, and he gave a stern look at the maid.  Then he looked at Twilight and said, "Such manual labor is... unbecoming a Princess."

"And I would say to you," she replied, "not to tell a Princess what to do."

"Of course," he said abruptly, "I was merely pointing out what is traditional among the nobility."

"Then choose more carefully what you say," she replied, "Lest your words be taken the wrong way."

He seemed to forget about the incident fairly quickly as he unpacked the box and started setting up the drawing stands.

My Little Family Crest

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Goldrennette studied his book of Heraldry as he prepared to draw an initial design for the Family Crest of Sir Big Macintosh.  He still seemed rather dismissive not only of Pink Lady, but his wife Ananasrenette.

"Now according to our research," he began, "Your family does not have any previous Heraldic Crests.  This greatly simplifies matters as regards to your own crest."

"It does?" asked Big Mac.

"Oh yes.  Incorporating previous Crests always complicates matters, especially when both sides of the family have them."

He nodded.

"Of course," he added, "We need to make a nod to your companion, Princess Twilight Sparkle.  But fortunately, we don't need to include that in the main part of the Crest.  We can save that part for the Helm Coronet and Supporters."

He nodded again as Twilight looked on.  The terms went over his head, but he figured he could question him about it later.

"So let's start with the Banner," he said as he looked at him, "Would you like it to say something other than 'Apple Clan'?"

"That's fine with me," he replied.

He drew the outline of a knightly shield, and then added a hand drawn banner reading 'Apple Clan' underneath it.  On the face of the shield, he divided it with a broad line bend sinister with a bright green stripe.  In the upper right side, he drew a rough sketch of Big Macintosh's cutie mark, and then drew an apple tree with a variety of colors of apples in its branches in the lower left side.  On the right side of the tree was a mug, and a pie to the left  Above the shield, he drew Twilight's Celestial cutie mark, and then added Celestia rampant dextrous and Luna rampant sinister in regards to the shield with both of them facing the shield  Both of the sister's cutie marks were clearly noted on their flanks.

"It is common practice to incorporate the Patriarch's Cutie Mark as part of the Heraldic Shield," he said evenly, "and another symbol representing the general social value or function of the family in regards to their area.  In your case, it seems to be almost entirely related to growing apples and products related to the same."

He turned the drawing board so that Big Mac could see it more clearly.

"That looks great," he said amiably.

So he turned the board back as he began to color in the Crest loosely.

"I must say this is going much faster than normal," commented Goldrenette.

"Then you already seem to know," noted Twilight, "how these things are supposed to go?"

"Well," he replied, "Most nobles seem to think they know as much about Heraldry as the Society does, so they tend to have some... unrealistic notions... about what should go on their shield.  You wouldn't believe the number of ponies out there who claim Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, or even Princess Cadance as one of their ancestors.  I wouldn't even think it would be reasonable to include Celestia and Luna here if you weren't the Royal Consorts to Princess Twilight Sparkle."

"There is no world that I can see," said Jifar, "that my goddess is not there with me."

He raised an eyebrow, but only said, "That's not my... department."

Twilight also raised an eyebrow, but did not comment about it.

"Do you perchance keep tea around here?" he asked of Big Mac.

"A-yup."

"Pink Lady, my dear," he said turning to the maid, "find the tea and make some."

She nodded as she headed for the kitchen, and Twilight noticed that Jifar followed her once she left.

"Now we need to settle on the initial number of shields to be produced," he said as he looked at his drawing again, "Since you don't have Guards or soldiers of your own at the moment, it seems all you really need is a few wall hangers, and perhaps a few personal shields for your arms locker.  I've been told you have dress plate, but no field plate, so that simplifies things."

"Why would I need armor in the field?" asked Big Mac.

He rolled his eyes as he said, "The battle field, sir."

"Well I reckon I won't need that any time soon," he replied.

"If the Ponyville region faced a military threat," he answered, "then you would be required to offer your services to the Crown of Equestria.  That is the duty of all of the Knights of Equestria."

"It's lucky it's been a real long time since we had one of those."

"Agreed."

"That is why Celestia uses diplomacy," said Twilight, "to avoid conflict across the sea."

"As long as it doesn't weaken our global position."

"There should be no global score," she replied, "Just to see who has more."

"And yet nations are measured by their treasures."

"Ponies are a vast treasure," she mused, "that has no means of measure."

"That's all well and good, but we must also do all we can to cultivate measurable treasures like gold, silver, gems and jewels.  We must produce our way to prosperity because if we don't, it shall surely lead to stagnation and decline."

"While I don't wish to sound sore, I believe Celestia values her ponies more."

"I merely believe that Celestia may not publicly and openly pursue such matters, she surely keeps them in mind.  Anypony can tell that Canterlot was built by its wealth."

"The wealth is merely a perk of the ponies' hard work."

He sighed, and then called, "Is that tea coming, Pink Lady?!"

"It is coming shortly, my Lord!" she called from the kitchen, "The stove is somewhat old and took a little time to heat up!"

"Sometimes I wonder why I bother to retain her services," he muttered under his breath.

Twilight clearly heard, but wasn't sure if Big Mac did.

(9) Tale of a Pink Lady

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Twilight wandered to the kitchen to check on how Pink Lady was doing.  He noticed that she was fussing over the stove while she waited for the water to boil, and she was also preparing a tin of tea by placing the leaves into a silver tea infuser.  The tight woven wires kept the leaves inside while the water was free to circulate through.

She glanced over her shoulder as she said, "May I help you, marelady?"

"It is rather bad to see," she replied evenly, "how he treats you so badly."

"It's nothing," she replied, "I am a lowly servant."

"My sensibilities are torn," she replied, "when decency is so worn."

"I'm... not the best of servants," answered the maid as she looked down, "Goldrennette only keeps me around because we are... sort of related."

"Then that should make me more terse," she mused, "that Goldrennette should treat you even worse."

"Well," she blushed as she continued, "I am but a bastard filly by his father.  He had a couple of bastard foals by mares other than his wife."

"Then it surely seems to me," replied Twilight, "that you should be in the family."

"It... it just doesn't... work that way..."

"While that is something that I can see," she answered, "that's surely how it should not be."

"Thank you, marelady, but I'm not even sure that Celestia herself can change such a thing.  It's too deeply a part of the ways and manners of the lords and dames of Canterlot itself."

"While you may have come from a fling," she mused, "perhaps I should still say something."

"Oh, it's surely not so bad," she replied, "He pays me a modest allowance and I have a room I can share with a couple other maids.  It's better than trying to live on my own.  While Canterlot is a grand place, it's not necessarily the safest place for a single mare like myself."

Twilight walked over and took her hand.  "If you should ever change your mind," she said softly, "I can offer you employment that is more kind."

"I shall... keep that in mind... marelady."

Twilight nodded as she smiled and placed the infuser into the silver tea pot while Pink Lady poured in the boiling water from the black iron kettle on the stove into it.

"Pink Lady?!" called the stallion from the living room, "What is keeping you?!"

"With a Princess she is talking," replied Twilight, "or at me are you squawking?!"

"Oh," he answered, "Surely a Princess may speak to my servant as she pleases."

"When the tea is prepared," she mused aloud, "you shall know how it fared."

While waiting for the tea to finish brewing, Twilight watched her collect the Honey Pot as well as whole cream from the Apple's home ice box.  Then Twilight's horn glowed as the cupboard opened, and the pot of sugar cubes floated over to the counter along with a slightly tarnished silver serving tray.  A small lemon and lime were retrieved from a fruit basket and magically sliced into wedges as they settled onto a plate.  Several porcelain cups and saucers floated over as well from the other cupboards.

"While I appreciate all the assistance," said Pink Lady, "It's really my job to do it by myself, marelady."

"And yet as a regal Princess," mused Twilight, "I can decide what is the process."  She softly smiled at the maid.

So Twilight carried the tray out into the living room as the maid followed.  She noticed that while they were in the kitchen, that Jifar had entered the room, sat across the knees of Big Mac, and cuddled with him while Goldrennette seemed to be focused on his drawing board.  Yet she could see his glare when he looked past Twilight as she walked into the room.

The maid made her way around so that she could begin preparing the tea for Goldrennette and Ananarennette.

"We pay you to do your own work," he grumbled.

"The Princess was rather insistent that she help, my lord.  It's not my place to contradict her wishes in this matter."

Twilight smiled as he looked at her, as she knew well he wouldn't challenge her right to make her own decisions.  She was worried about what might happen to the maid once he felt that they were out of her hearing range, however.

"It seems that the groundwork for the shield has been finished," he said as he sipped his tea, "It seems it just needs to be taken back to Canterlot for final approval and registry with the Heraldic Society of Canterlot."

"Well, it's gettin close ta dinner time," replied Big Mac, "and I would love ta have ya stay here for the night so ya can enjoy all the fine food there is ta offer."

"If you have the room and it's not much trouble," he replied, "That would be fine."

Dinner and a Date... Pie

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Now that the official business was out of the way, it was time to prepare for dinner.  Goldrennette sniffed with his nose turned up when he noticed Twilight helping the other mares in the kitchen, but Twilight was not really in the mood to correct him again, so she just sighed and rolled her eyes without bothering to look at him directly.  He glanced into the kitchen a few times as if he were making his objections known, or somehow trying to provoke a response from one of them.

Twilight was going to be glad to see him go.

When she had a moment, she went to the living room to see what the others were up to.  She noticed that Granny Smith was chatting up Ananrennette while Pink Lady made sure that they had plenty of apple tea to keep their whistles wet.  While the two of them spoke, Twilight noticed that the demure noble mare was attempting to knit a scarf, and the project didn't seem to be going all that well for her.  She was trying fairly hard to weave a rainbow scarf from linen thread, and none of the rows of color appeared to be even close to be even.

Then she noticed that Big Macintosh was sitting in the big chair, and that Jifar was sitting crosswise in his lap lavishing him with all sorts of love and affection.  Even mostly covered, he was never unhappy to have her motherly bosom all but sticking in his face.  But still they weren't doing anything they couldn't be doing in from of a colt or filly, so she was grateful that she had no need to try to get between the two of them.

She then returned to the kitchen to return to preparing dinner.  Apple Bloom smiled softly as she was preparing the dinner salad all by herself.  With her expanded magical powers, she was able to perform several processes in the kitchen at the same time.  She could tell how impressed Apple Bloom was every time she caught sight of her in the corner of one of her eyes.

"Shall I believe my nose," asked Twilight as she glanced at the lit wood-fired oven, "that a pie is in baking throes?"

"Oh yeah," she replied, "I think I saw Pink Lady put a pie in there a while ago."

"Well my nose dose say," she noted, "a pecan date pie on the way?"

"I dunno, Twilight," she replied, "I didn't notice."

"Well things go along so great," she said, "that dinner shall not be late."

The two continued to work quietly until Pink Lady came in, walked over to the oven, and opened it just enough to check up upon the pie.  She then left again without comment.

A little while later, Jifar came in and hugged Twilight from the back, her motherly bosom mashed against her wings and back with great enthusiasm.

"I've left you in the kitchen all alone," she said, "A crime for which I must atone."

"While I stand here quite steady," she replied, "I'm sure he misses you already."

"I surely love my husband so true," she gushed, "there is as much love for my goddess too."

"Yer not gonna do nothin mushy, are ya?" asked Apple Bloom awkwardly.

But while Jifar leaned closer to nibble at the side of Twilight's throat, she replied, "We shall be as discrete as can be.  Nothing awkward shall you see."

"It's startin ta get a bit warm in here already."

"Then I shall sure stop.  My caress I shall drop," said Jifar as she released Twilight and backed up.

"Sorry," she said as she looked down.

"You shall learn not to apologize," said Jifar, "when you see true love in another's eyes."

Apple Bloom wondered if Twilight blushed just a bit and looked away as Jifar took up a station to assist with the preparation for dinner.  She laughed nervously as she said, "Well, I reckon I'll find out for myself one day."

"It strikes me rather obviously," said Twilight as she glanced over her shoulder, "that true love you shall one day see."

She continued to laugh somewhat nervously.

A short while later, Pink Lady returned, bowed to the older mares, and said, "Master Berlepsch has instructed me to make myself useful by assisting with the preparation of dinner."

"One day I surely wish to know," sighed Twilight, "why he pushes you about so."

"It's alright, marelady," she replied softly, "Please don't worry yourself about it.  But as his servant, I am obligated to obey his every wish and command."

"Well I shall see the looks upon his face," smirked Twilight, "when I sit food in every place."

Pink Lady just looked down for a moment nervously.

"Apple Bloom?" she asked, "Leave the room.  The thing that I ask of you: tell them to go to the living room.  Tell them dinner is on the way.  Set them in their seats to stay."

Apple Bloom nodded as she scooted from the kitchen.

Twilight noticed that Pink Lady was preparing plates apparently for Goldrennette and Ananarennette.

"I can surely serve them all," said Twilight, "saying as much as I recall."

"Oh no," she said quickly, "he would be most upset if I didn't serve him and his marelady personally."

"If it's part of her duties related," said Jifar, "then let her do it without being debated."

Twilight nodded as they gave everypony a few moments to get out to the table and settle down to eat.  In the meantime, she prepared the plates of all the others with an almost effortless use of her magic.  She let Pink Lady move in first before she followed with the rest of the plates floating around her.

Upper No Class

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Twilight got the subtle dirty look that she was expecting from Goldrennette.  He also looked cross at Pink Lady, as if he was sure she wasn't doing enough.  But no words were exchanged, and only Pink Lady seemed to wither under his gaze.  When he ate, every move was well practiced.  Almost like a machine, thought Twilight.  Ananarennette was pretty much the same in her movements at the dinner table.  His face, however, was a mask that showed no feelings.  It was rather hard to gauge his reactions and feelings.

"Apple dinners are the best," she said as she smiled at Granny, "Certainly above most of the rest."

"Why thank you, Princess," she replied with a smile.

"I suppose there are times when simple country fare suffices," said Goldrennette off hand.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Big Macintosh.

"While I'm sure this meal is exceptional by your standards," he said matter of a fact like, "It surely pales compared to what the Royal Chefs prepare back in Canterlot.  No offense intended, my good knight."

"Oh, I reckon none is taken," he answered.

"Sorry us common folk can't live up to yer Canterlot standards," grumbled Granny.

"Well I suppose the effort should count for something, dearest mare," he said back with just a hint of superiority.

"I'm sure you'll be glad to be back in Canterlot by dinner tomorrow," replied Big Macintosh.

"Indeed," he replied, "My poor wife has already missed two of her daily spa treatments already."

Ananarennette just smiled awkwardly.

"You should partake of the Ponyville Spa services," he added as he glanced at Big Mac.

"How do ya know ah don't already?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Would you field this one, lovely?" he asked as he looked at his wife.

"Oh... uh..." she began, "Well, it's not really my place to criticize..."

"Oh, I'm sure he can take a little constructive criticism," he smirked.

"But your hands..." she said as her voice trailed off.

"What about'em?" he asked as he looked at them.

"Yer hands have handled a yoke," said Twilight, "unlike most Canterlot folk."

"Indeed," agreed the fancy stallion, "Manual labor of any sort is... beneath the station of a knight such as yourself."

"News ta me," he replied.

"And that's why most knights begin as squires," he answered, "so that they can learn the proper codes and conduct from somepony who already learned them from the knight before him."

"Were you a squire?"

"Indeed," he said, "until father decided I was better suited for drawing and study, so he took me from my knight and sent me to Canterlot College for formal education.  I learned heraldry and fine arts there, so I was almost automatically accepted into the Heraldry Society.  Personally, I have no regrets about father's decision."

"Well I did get me some educatin too," said Big Mac.

"I'm sure you did," he replied.

Twilight was painfully aware of his sarcasm, but no one else seemed to react if they had noticed as well.  "I'm sure than when Celestia took me as her student," she said, "you surely can tell what that meant."

"Yes," he replied, "I'm sure there was a reason you were taken from Magic Kindergarten and straight into the private tutoring of Princess Celestia."

"Well sure," said Apple Bloom, "it's cuz Twilight is like the best magic student she ever had."

He glared at the young mare as if she had spoken out of turn, and she looked down at her plate rather than continue to face his withering glare.

"Now now, dear," said Ananarennette, "I'm sure the child was just defending her peer's good name."

He then gave the look to her as he answered, "In Canterlot, well mannered colts and fillies do not speak out of turn at the dinner table, my dear.  I learned that before I even knew how to speak.  I'm sure her... manners... are something to be expected out here... in the country."

"Well Apple Bloom has learned not ta speak ill of her elders," replied Big Mac, "Something that doesn't seem ta have carried over to ya Canterlot ponies."

"We always respect those who are equal to or better than us," he sniffed.

"Well we prefer ta respect everypony we all meet," he answered, "At least until they've proven that they all don't deserve tha respect that they got."

He looked at the clock and said, "Since we plan to leave early, my dear, we should retire for the evening now."  The clock was only reading 6 PM.  "Now come, Pink Lady, and attend us.  I'm sure these fine mares will be able to clean up without needing your services."  Standing from his seat, he pulled back his wife's chair, and then helped her up by the hand as the two of them walked out of the room with Pink Lady in tow.  "I wish you good night and good rest with your... marewives."

"Why that snooty little..." muttered Granny.

"Please say nothing you might regret," she said softly, "as they have not left us yet."

"Lansakes..."

"Perhaps I don not understand just how things are in this land," said Jifar as she glanced from Twilight to Big Macintosh, "but it seems plain to hear that disrespect was intended, my dear."

"Oh, ah'm sure he wouldn't be so rude to a knight and his dame," he said as he rested his hand on Jifar's.

Twilight looked at Apple Bloom, and saw that she was upset about something.

"Can I be excused?" she asked, "I'm feeling a bit tired mahself."

"Of course you can go, dearie," said Granny as she smiled.

Big Macintosh nodded in agreement.  Twilight couldn't help but notice her tremble as she left, as if she were fighting hard not to burst into tears on the spot.

"I wish you a good night, and hope that you feel alright."

Apple Bloom didn't answer if she heard her.

"Ah reckon we all got our chores ta do tomorrow," said Big Mac, "so we all should go ta bed as well as soon as we take care of dishes an baths an stuff."

"Please go with our wishes," said Twilight as she looked at Granny, "Let Jifar and I do the dishes."

"If you're sure you don't need my help or nothin," she replied.

"While we appreciate all you help indeed," said Jifar, "tonight we can handle every need."

"All righty then," she said as she stood slowly, "Good night, younguns."

"Good night, Granny," said Big Mac.

Applejack followed him from the room without a word being said by her.

So Twilight and Jifar took care of all of the dishes while he went up and bathed before bed.  After all, he didn't mind be all nice and clean for when he was ready to do 'dirty things' with the two mares he loved most.  Then they followed him upstairs after they were done with them all.

Twilight paused at Apple Bloom's door.

"Perhaps you should go ahead," she said to Jifar, "and see if our love awaits in bed?"

Jifar nodded as she went on the the bedroom before she quietly knocked at her door.

"It's open," sniffed Apple Bloom.

She stepped in the room to find Applejack and Apple Bloom sitting side by side, the older sister embracing the younger.  Twilight could tell that Apple Bloom had been crying.

"Howdy Twilight," she replied as she held Apple Bloom tight to her bosom.

"You have been crying on your bed," noted Twilight, "Was it something Goldrennette said?"

She wiped her eyes before she said, "Why does he have to look down on ponyfolk like that?"

"Ah reckon we ain't no Canterlot ponies ta the likes of him," replied Applejack.

She walked over, sat by Apple Bloom opposite Applejack, and hugged her as well.

"While they are called 'noble' by their name," she said softly, "Courtesy is not reflected quite the same."

"But yer a Princess schooled in Canterlot, an you never looked down on us like he does," sniffed Apple Bloom.

"As I count you among my friends," she replied, "and thus my respect never ends."

"Big sister'll get ya a nice glass of warm milk fer her little sister," said Applejack with a smile, "and then I'm sure some of us will get some sleep tonight."  The last part was said as she looked at Twilight.

Twilight nodded as Applejack got up and left.

"So ya really don't think you all that better than common ponies?"

"Such snobbishness I cannot conceive," she replied, "that it what I truly believe.  And should you wish to let yourself cry, then stop you I shall not try."

She buried her face into Twilight's mane as she began weeping again.

"I tell you know so that you know," she said softly, "there's no limit how high a pony can go."

Apple Bloom cried until Applejack returned.

(12) Some depart and some stay

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Twilight and Applejack wound up spending the night comforting Apple Bloom in her time of distress.  By the time her older sister had returned with the warm milk, she had gone from weeping to hiccups.  A fairly bad case.  She almost burped up her milk in the middle of drinking it.  Yet in spite of being tempted to do things like make her hold her breath or scare her, they decided it was simply best to stay with her until they went away, which was when she finally fell asleep.

The creaks and groans she heard elsewhere told Twilight that Jifar was managing to keep Sir Big Macintosh and his knightly lance amused for the night.  She wondered when the poor bed was finally going to give out under such... enthusiasm.

Yet Applejack and her couldn't help but smile as Apple Bloom muttered half asleep, "I luv ya, big sister."  It was only really funny because even with her eyes closed, she was looking at Twilight when she said it.  Without having to say anything, Applejack took her little sister into her arms so that she could slip away without awakening her, and go back to Jifar and Big Mac.

She slipped down the hall and into the bedroom to find that her two loves were paused between rounds, and that Jifar was the one on top tonight.

"How's it going, sugar-cube?" he asked between pants.

"It may be wrong to say I know," she replied, "but I am glad when Goldrennette should go."

"You and me both."

"His snobbishness was so great," she sighed, "that Apple Bloom could not relate."

"So ya stayed by her side with little sister til she fell asleep?"

She nodded.

"Honey-buns here," he said as he looked into Jifar's eyes, "She done told meh that she could here her hiccups over the groanin sounds the bed was makin in here."

Jifar nodded as she sat on her love's crotch.  She could tell that his stallionhood was still buried deep up into her birth canal.

"Apple Bloom finally sleeps the night away," she said softly, "and at her side shall Applejack stay."

"They ain't just sisters," he said with a grin, "They all is the best ah friends too."

They both nodded in agreement.

"So if you don't mind," she yawned, "perchance a night without a grind?"

He smiled and patted the bed next to him, so Twilight crawled into bed next to him and wrapped her arms about the barrel of his chest.  He kissed her forehead just at the base of her horn, and noticed she was already asleep.

...

Twilight found herself on a hill within the apple orchard as she looked down on Ponyville.  She looked on in horror as most of the buildings were burning, with a massive cloud of smoke forming over the chaotic destruction.  Mares and stallions stumbled about like zomponies with their torches and pitchforks, and she realized they were burning down the buildings themselves.  There were none of the guards anywhere to be seen.  Even the library tree seemed to be engulfed in the growing flames.  Someplace close to the town square was a huge black crystal spire.

"Greetings dear Twilight," said a familiar voice, "We hope you are well?"

Turning to Luna's voice, she was shocked to see that she was being spoken to... by Nightmare Moon?!

"We know that things do not look well," she replied, "but things are actually better than they appear.  Yes, we have been returned to Nightmare Moon, but... it is far too long for us to explain right now.  Suffice it to say that our... dark side has been reigned in for the moment.  Miss Rarity is... taking care of us."

"We don't wish to cause you fright," said Opa, "but we must agree that she's right."

She spun to see that Opa and Zecora were there as well.

"When I behold such a terrible sight," said Twilight, "I must wonder if everypony is alright?"

"We do not know all the details yet," replied Moon, "as it is all still rather confusing to us as well.  But the one trapped in the black crystal is known as Nightmare Celestia, and it is her influence which drives ponies to... destroy all that is impure."

"While the future itself is not certain," said Opa, "We aren't ready to close the curtain.  In Miss Rarity do we trust.  Her black magic appears to be a must."

"Rarity with black magic?!" she asked, "Why does this smell tragic?!"

"Indeed," said Luna, "It seems that Miss Rarity has been keeping and using a fair number of black magic relics over the years.  Things that we have only recently discovered.  Among them being the Inspiration Manifestation, and most recently, she has taken the mantle of... the Alicorn Amulet."

"The Alicorn Amulet?!" she asked in alarm, "Does she remain unbent?!"

"If you ask us if she's been blatantly corrupted, we think not," replied Luna as she waved her hand, "or at least not mentally."  An image appeared of a mare that appeared to be an extremely feminized version of King Sombra with the largest... tracts of land that she had ever seen.

"Do my own eyes deceive?" she asked, "Miss Rarity I find this hard to believe."

"Indeed she is," replied Luna, "a combination of being cursed by Nightmare Rarity as well as her own efforts to appear to be... in a Nightmare Moon night costume."

"I must return there at once," she began, "as I..."

"**NO!  The Celestial Elements must remain uninvolved until there is no other option!" snapped Nightmare Moon.

"I don't know," she replied on the verge of panic, "why this must be so!"

"There are other forces here at work," she replied as an image of the Diamond Dog Shaman appeared, "and we cannot risk him taking you in the chaos of the situation."  Then an image of Discord appeared as she continued, "And speaking of chaos, we are unsure about where this one stands at the moment.  He claims he cannot help with Ponyville because of the black magic corruption, and we have seen no evidence to show that he might not be correct about that assertion.  So for the moment, it is for the best that you remain here and take care of the Apples."  She turned to Opa and Zecora and added, "We feel you can do the most by remaining safe in the Everfree Forest, and try to contain any black magic that might leak out of Ponyville, or anything that might threaten the new dog village between the Forest and Ponyville."

The Celestial Elements nodded to Moon.

"You don't seem so mad," noticed Twilight, "Perhaps her return is not so bad?"

"For the Shaman has placed one of their control collars upon us, and that seems to keep our anger and violence in check.  Now we remember just how many wrongs and dark deeds that we must atone for..."

"So in the morning when you should awake," said Zecora, "Decisive action you should not take."

"It is best that the Apples and sweet little Jifar should not know," added Opa, "Lest they also get up and go to a place where danger is still not low."

...

Twilight sat bolt upright in bed as she looked around.

"Somethin wrong, sugar-cube?" asked Big Mac.

"It was just a bad dream," she replied, "Nothing real does it seem."

"If my goddess should have a fright," said Jifar, "We surely know how to set things right."

She hugged Twilight as she pulled her on top of him, and he pulled her leg so that her loins were right over his face.  Hugging her tight to her bosom, she took almost half of her now Celestia sized horn into her mouth to suck and lick while he began to give oral service to Twilight's marepussy.

"Speaking of nightmares and dreams," she panted, "perhaps Apple Bloom should be checked it seems."

But with both of their mouths occupied, neither would address Twilight's concern... at least before they managed to make her cum hot and wet.  She simply lay with her head in the cleft of the giraffe's bosom as she panted and moaned ever harder.  Her wings snapped out into a hard wingboner even as their tongues worked their 'magic' on her.  Minutes passed as the two of them drove the alicorn Princess crazy with erotic energy.  Then she could feel herself orgasm into his face as her juices spurt about his large probing tongue.

Then there was a knock at the door as they heard Granny say, "I know y'all are in love an all, but we have ta git to the chores sometime taday.  Let's rise an shine already."

"Alright Granny," he replied, "We all were just gettin up now!"

"Good.  I'm going to start breakfast right now," she said before she paused, and then added, "Take a quick bath first.  We don't need that smell gettin into the apples, ya know."

The three of them chuckled as they heard Granny walking away.

...

Twilight munched her corn and oat flake cereal as she watched Apple Bloom.

"Will you be well while we work?" she asked, "I don't wish to think me a jerk."

"Hmm?" she asked, "Oh, I'll be fine.  Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are supposed to come by later today.  They have some kind of new plan to get their own cutie marks."

"Then hopefully things won't look so bad," she replied, "when friends come by to make you less sad."

"Sure," she replied, "an I know Granny will be here for me too."

She glanced at Jifar and Big Macintosh, noting that they had giant bowls of cereal that held at least four times as much cereal and milk as a normal cereal bowl should.  But she knew that both did a lot of work to justify their enormous appetites.  After all, they both had their full breakfasts of cereal with milk, apple juice, more milk, buttered toast, bagels with cream cheese, and a three bean salad.  Compared to them, everypony else in the family ate like birds.

Pink Lady slipped into the kitchen and began placing some things into bags she had carried with her.  Two to be precise.

"Won't the lord and lady be joinin us fer breakfast?"

"No," she replied awkwardly, "He wishes to be on the road as soon as possible.  We are heading south to the train station... to avoid the Ponyville traffic."

"Is that what they call the 'commoners' in Ponyville nowadays?"

She said nothing as she gathered the bags and turned to leave.

"Before you beat a hasty retreat," said Twilight, "surely you have a moment to eat?"

"No, the lord is surely in too much of a..."

"Now now," said Granny, "We ain't lettin ya go until ya get some vitals into yerself as well."

Twilight's horn glowed as the doors closed around them.

"If lord fancypants got a problem with that, he can talk ta us."

She smiled awkwardly as Granny gave her a freshly toasted bagel with cream cheese.

"Pink Lady?!" called a stallion from the other side of the door.

"She all is gettin somethin ta eat by order of Princess Twilight Sparkle!" he called back, "An ya don't wanna disobey no Princess, now does ya?!"

They could hear him groan before he said, "Very well.  We shall await you at the carriage.  Proceed with all due haste, my dear.  The train awaits for none, you know."  Then he made a point of stomping away.

She scarfed down the bagel as Granny gave her a tall glass of apple juice.

"Perhaps it's for the best that I..."

"Drink up, sugar-cube."

She looked at Twilight's stare, and then began drinking.  Then Twilight stood, grabbed the bags from the startled maid, and walked out as they watched her.

"Ah hope she ain't gonna do nothin rash," he muttered.

She walked out to the carriage where she saw the impatient Goldrennette and his nervous Ananarennette waiting for somepony else.

"Where is that lazy..." he began.

"I have come out here to proclaim and say," she snapped, "by Royal Decree I take you maid away!!  She shall now serve the Crown and family as she's befit!!  Her employment with you is done, you twit!!"

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!!" he shouted back.

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO A PRINCESS SO!!" she replied with obvious anger in her voice, "NOW GET IN YOUR CARRIAGE AND GO!!"

"You haven't heard the end of this!!  I shall protest this treatment to Princess Celestia herself!!"

"Good luck with that," said Big Macintosh from the doorway.

Ananarennette stepped up and took the bags gingerly from Twilight's shaking hands.  Then she climbed into the door after her husband.  Then he remembered that there was no maid to drive, so he climbed back out and up into the driver's seat.  If looks could kill... well, he snapped the reins and drove away.  As he travelled down the drive towards the main road, she noticed a bunch of papers being tossed out by the driver.  One she was sure was their work on the Apple Family Crest.  Something she swore she would take up herself with Princess Celestia later.

Collecting the Pieces

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Twilight walked down the road, gathering the pieces of Goldrennette's work on the Apple Crest.  It was fortunate that things had long dried out since the last rain across Sweet Apple Acres.  A fair amount of time had passed since Goldrennette's carriage had driven off into the distance.

'I don't wish to think like a defeatist,' she thought, 'but he does seem to be rather elitist.'

She began to wonder just how the von Berlepschs were related to the Apple Clan.  It certainly didn't seem to be on an economic or social level.

"I must apologize for my master's behavior," said Pink Lady.

Twilight glanced back and noticed the maid had gathered some papers as well.

"I must admit that I like you more," she replied, "There's nothing to apologize for.  Since it wasn't done by you, you need not be sorry too.  He treated you rather poorly I fear, and I know you'll fit in better here."

"Your concern... is kind, marelady," she replied as she looked at her hooves, "Kind, but misplaced.  I am surely not worthy of such attention from a Princess such as yourself."

Twilight walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder.  "While I'm new to royalty, I must confess," she said with a smile, "There's things I can do as a Princess.  And when a wrong do I see, it shall be fixed by one like me."

She smiled softly as she replied, "It seems that all of the errant papers have been retrieved, marelady."

"Then let us return to the farm," she said evenly, "and see if there's been any harm."

They both began walking back to the farm.

"I'm sorry for being such a bother," she said under her breath.

"I assure you that you are no trouble," answered the Princess, "We surely don't live in a bubble."

"I believe if we can take these to Princess Celestia directly," said the maid as she looked away, "She can take it right to the head of the Heraldry Society.  Then he can take care of the registry issues.  After all, my Master was commissioned to create this Family Crest under her orders.  He cannot rightly claim the work as his own."

"I like the way that you think," she replied, "and I believe we are... in the pink?"

Pink Lady almost giggled.  Sir Big Macintosh, Dame Jifar Macintosh and Granny Smith awaited their return from the porch.  He came out and hugged Pink Lady even as Jifar stomped out to hug the Princess.

"Welcome to dah family," he said as he hugged her.

Twilight, on the other hoof, was so used to being smothered face first in Jifar's bosom that she was well past even protesting the treatment any more.  She just stood quietly while she waited for Big Mac to call off his rather overly affectionate wife.

"Ah think tha Goddess needs ta breathe, sweetums," she could hear him say.

"I only wish for my Goddess to know," said Jifar, "Just how much that I love her so."

"Oh, there ain't no doubts about that," he chuckled as he pried Twilight from her bosom.  Then he looked at Pink Lady as he said, "Why don't ya help Granny around tha house while we take care of the west orchard?"

She smiled and nodded back to him.

"That's just dandy," replied Granny with a smile.

"I shall..."

"Actually," he interrupted, "ah think it would be best that ya took that stuff right to Celestia.  No point in waitin ta see what kinda nonsense he's gonna tell her afore we get in our side of the story.  Ah'm sure she'll take your word afore his."

Twilight nodded.

"So let's make sure these here papers are all bundled up nice an tight afore ya leave," he said as he looked over all the loose paper the two of them had gathered up.  He liked being a Knight of Equestria.

Appeals

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Twilight walked down the path towards the throne room of the twin sisters.  It wasn't often that she needed to walk the path since her elevation to her own Princess status.  There was a half a dozen petitioners ahead of her, but one of the Royal Guards immediately came to her side as soon as he saw her.  She glanced down at her hip packs to make sure she had all of the papers with her.

"Do you need to see Celestia?" he asked.

"My matter is not as important to hurry," she replied, "so please don't make those ahead of me worry."

"I'm sure that the Princess would want you to..."

"My concerns are not great," she replied, "I don't mind that I should wait."

"Very well, your highness," he answered as he returned to his post.

Time passed as she waited for the last petitioner to leave and the next should enter.  A young Earth pony stallion turned to her in the meantime and asked, "You can go ahead of me, if you want."  His simple worn brown pants and tan shirt clearly marked him as a member of the lowest class.  The dirt on his hands and the slightly sweaty odor marked him as some kind of laborer.

"While your offer is truly kind," she said back, "please do not trouble your mind.  But there may be something that I can do to be of assistance to somepony like you."  Her horn glowed as his clothing was cleaned and repaired before his eyes, and gained a few pockets that perhaps even Queen Sombrarity would have approved of.

He looked himself over before prostrating himself at her hooves, and then kissing one of them.

"While you loyalty is great to see," she said as she blushed slightly, "you need not act so before me."

"I just want to show you how grateful and loyal I am," he gushed as he looked into her eyes.

The door cracked open, but Twilight wasn't looking that way.  She was looking down at the unicorn at her feet.  It sounded to her like the previous petitioner was leaving.

"Please take your hooves and stand," she replied, "It's ponies like you that make this land."  Offering her hand to him, he took it and stood before her.

"Princess Twilight?" asked a sweet voice.

She looked up to see Celestia half leaning out the open door.

"Are you trying to steal my subjects by being nicer than me?" she replied as she laughed almost musically.

"You should surely know," she answered, "that the case is not so."

"Ah, it's so easy to pull your leg, my dear," she replied as she waggled a finger in Twilight's direction, "but come along.  I have matters that we need to speak of."

"I do not wish to seem to whine," she replied, "but the others ahead in line..."

"Shall have their cases heard by me before the day ends, I promise.  But I need to speak with you NOW."

"Go on, Princess," said the young stallion, "We totally understand."

The other ponies ahead of her in line nodded in agreement.  Then Celestia came and took her hand by the wrist.  She was not in the mood to take any sass from anypony.  So Twilight quietly followed her through the door.  Celestia walked her past the line of Guards as she walked up towards the twin seats, even though Luna's chair was a bit smaller... and empty.  Twilight remembered that Luna was now stuck as Nightmare Moon, and that only an obedience collar was keeping her rage under control, but at least Queen Sombrarity was doing her best to keep the Lunar Princess safe until such a time she could be cured.

"I've got some troubling reports from the Heraldry Department," she said as she placed Twilight on Luna's seat.

"So he's been back and complaining already," she replied, "It's hard to be around him and remain steady."

"I see," she replied, "So you did use Royal Authority to remove Goldrenette Freiherr von Berlepsch's maid?"

She nodded.

"He claims you took her out of spite and capriciousness?"

She shook her head no.

"Care to explain?"

"Pink Lady is one of his kin," she replied, "trying hard to fit in.  But he abuses her and not treats her well.  She must live in a private hell.  But she's related to the Apple Clan almost as much, and they shall surely be better to her as such.  So I used my power to take her away, and with the Apples I let her stay."

"I... had a feeling that was the case," replied Celestia, "but I still need to compensate Goldrennette for his loss.  He may feel better if I claimed I've punished you as well.  I take those are the papers for Sir Big Macintosh's Coat of Arms?"

She nodded.

"Very well," she answered, "I shall make sure the Heraldry Society processes the application over any objections.  In the meantime... I shall punish you by making you assist me in hearing petitions for the remainder of the day."

Twilight smiled and nodded.

In Her Majesty's Secret Service...

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

"Ah wonder when Princess Twilight's gonna come home?" asked Big Macintosh as he stood on Jifar's shoulders.

"It is hard to know for certain," she replied, "when she returns to raise the curtain."

"Ah miss her when she's off doin that there Canterlot business," he sighed.

"It is also painful for me," she replied, "when my Goddess parts from me."

He reached out to grab the next delicate apple, a small bunch of cherry apple, from the delicate limb.  They were brand new trees flown in a cuttings by Pegasi from lands very far away, and after a whole year, were ready to bear their first fruits.  But when he kicked a tree to knock down the fruits, the trunk split and the whole tree keeled over.  If it wasn't for Twilight's magic and Zecora's emergency potion, the poor thing would have been killed within a day.

So now each and every tree had to be hand picked, and they had to be careful as rough ladders might just bruise the tree's delicate bark.

"Ah need ya ta take another step to yer right, sweetums," he said.

She stepped, and he grabbed.  He plucked off the group of small red round fruit and plopped it into the bucket on his hip.

"Well, that there is one more tree off the bucket list," he said as he looked down.

"Excuse me, good Sir and Dame," said a voice from behind him.

Jifar turned about so fast that he had to grab the tree trunk to keep his balance, and found himself looking down upon the Queen of Ponyville herself, Sombrarity.  She had her servants Spike and Bakabaka dressed in the butler and maid finest at her sides while she herself was decked out in her fake royal chestplate, hip guards and other miscellaneous pieces that left her stomach, thighs and upper arms exposed.  But wherever she went, she wore her crown and her great fur lined cloak.

He wondered when the three of them had snuck up on them like that.

"Howdy, her majestyness," he said cheerfully, "Let me get down so I can speak ta ya proper-like."

"Oh, you may just call me Sombrarity, Sir Big Macintosh," she replied.

"An you all can just call meh Big Mac," he said as Jifar helped him down to the ground.  When he was on ground level, he realized he was staring at the Queen's chest, the largest set of breasts on a pony allegedly anywhere in Equestria.  Even his wive's most motherly breasts were just smaller by comparison.

"How can I help y'all?" he asked as he looked in Sombrarity's... eyes... 'cough' yes, he was looking in her eyes...

"I apologize for the lack of formal notice," she began, "but I have need of your... OOF!"

Jifar had clomped the Queen chest to chest, making the biggest boob collision the world had ever seen.  Spike and Bakabaka discreetly looked away as Jifar gave her a surprise kiss on the lips.

"Honeybuns," he moaned, "I think she's tryin ta say somethin, so why don't'cha let her breathe and all?"

But Sombrarity was staring wide eyed at Jifar even after the giraffe had pulled her tongue back.  In the meantime, Spike turned away from them and did something with his bowtie that made his waxed handlebar mustache appear under his nose, making him look more 'cough' official and business-like.

"You should do something about that cough, Mister Narrator," said Pinkie Pie as she poked her head from behind a tree.

It's not a cough, I was clearing my throat.  Now beat it, sister!  You aren't in this Chapter!

Pinkie Pie harrumphed as she walked out of the scene.

"Uh... who was Pinkie talkin to just now?" asked Big Mac.

"I know not how to respond," replied Jifar, "suffice it to say there are powers beyond."

'cough' Can we get back to the story?  Now Spike, if you would...

"Ah yes," said Spike smoothly as he twirled his mustache, "Her Majesty, the Queen of Ponyville, has... 'dun-dun-dunnn' a secret assignment for the two and only knights of Ponyville."

"A what now?"

"A secret assignment," he repeated, "One that can only be done by someone outside of Queen Sombrarity's inner circle of servants, advisers and Guards.  Two ponies just like you."

"Ah see."

He took out a scroll from his pocket and began to read aloud:

This scroll has been prepared in a time of need,

so I have elected to have Spike to read.

At the dog village down near the farm,

there may be some dogs coming to harm,

as Griffons are coming from far away

possibly seeking a place to stay.

Speak to the griffons to see if their motives a pure,

and the dog's safety we can assure.

Spike has more details as this scroll and text ends

as Sombrarity wishes it to self destruct in 5 seconds.

"Miss Twilight wrote this... Wait, SELF DESTRUCT?!" he called as he threw the scroll up in the air.  The scroll sailed into the open air before it went... *KA-BOOM!*

"Well that all was random," he replied, "Now what all about this here secret assignment?"

"Ah yes," he said as he turned to the maid, "If you would fetch the box of magical gadgets from the chariot, Miss Bakabaka?"

She nodded as she ran off.

"Now we have reason to believe that there are some troublemakers in the group of Griffon refugees," he said as he twirled his mustache, "One that might be acting as..."  He leaned closer as he said, "Spies for the Griffon Kingdom."

"Wouldn't it look kinda suspicious for the Knights of Ponyville ta be questioning these here folks?"

"Well d'uh," replied Spike, "That's what the magical disguises are for."  A small bell rang somewhere in the distance.

"Uh... magical disguises, you say?"  A small bell rang somewhere in the distance.

"We guarantee that nopony or griffon will recognize you in these magical disguises."  A small bell rang somewhere in the distance.

Pinkie Pie!  You're overdoing the sound effects!

"You get what you pay for," said Pinkie from off screen.

Wait, I'm supposed to be paying you?  Oh never mind!

"And there's a few other magical gadgets that Agent P-T, Agent P-C, and Agent P-L feel that you might need to complete this assignment for the Queen of Ponyville."

Sombrarity smiled weakly as Jifar continued to hug her.

"Agent who?"

"Their actual names are not important."

"Ah see."

"In case you get in trouble, Agents GG and RD will be your backup."

"Ah-huh.  Spike... Did y'all just make this stuff up?"

"NO WAY!" shouted Spike as Bakabaka returned with a black box with gold trim, hinges and lock.  The chest required using both hands to carry, so she had the gold key in her mouth.  He leaned closer as he added, "And I'm supposed to be Agent S-D and she's supposed to be Agent B-O."

Jifar blinked.

"Follow me to the barn," said Agent S-D, "I can't give you the briefing until I'm sure nopony is spying on us."

They all began moving towards the barn as Jifar half carried, half dragged Queen Sombrarity along with her.

"This ain't gonna git in the way of the wedding, now is it?"

"NO WAY!"

Under Cover and Over Sexed

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

"Now what all do these here dohickeys do?" asked Big Macintosh as he looked himself over.  He was dressed to the nines in tux and tails with fine knee-high leather boots and some white silk gloves.  There was frills around the collar and sleeves that he thought made him look a little too dandy for his tastes, but Spike assured him the look was proper for an Equestrian Knight at a formal function.

"The bowtie," said Spike as he pointed at his neck, "controls the race shifter.  Twisting it half way around changes your apparent race.  You start as a stallions, shift to a keythong, and then to sire."

"Keythong?  Sire?"

"I've been told that's what you're supposed to call a male griffon and male showdog."

"Oh.  Just how... complete is this here change?"

"You will look, smell, fell and sound just like a member of another race," he replied, "As to the taste test, I have no idea."

"Uh-huh..."

"Oh, and you'll be able to understand and speak the languages of the race you appear as."

He nodded.

"But you might want to be careful about what you eat," he added, "You know that some of the things a griffon or dog might eat would well make a pony ill."

He nodded once more.

"Jifar had something similar in her choker, except she'll look like a griffoniness or bitch."

He nodded again as did Jifar.  Spike turned to her and said, "While you might sound like the real deal, your speech pattern might still give you away.  I suggest that you speak as little as possible, and considering how dogs treat their bitches, it would be taken as quite normal.  Griffons, on the other hand, are... another matter.  If Gilda is any indication, they can speak as much as they like."

She nodded.

He handed them two clear crystal glasses.  "You should keep these with you," he advised.

"What all are these for?"

"You hold it against a door or wall to listen to what's happening on the other side.  Don't worry, you have magical pockets that not only carry a lot more than they should, but will keep fragile things like crystal glasses from breaking."

They both nodded.

Then he held up a couple of weird looking plugs.  "Put one of these in your ear," he said, "and you can magically speak to each other, or one of the supervising agents, from great distances.  If you want to be quiet, put your finger on the end and your whispers will sound like normal speaking.  You just have to think about who you want to speak to, or just want to speak to everypony on the channel at once.  Unfortunately, we can't hear what's going on around you."

They each took a plug and delicately stuck it in one of their ears.

Spike turned to Big Macintosh and said, "Now should you get in deep trouble, squeeze your right cufflink until it pops.  You will then be instantly suited up in your finest suit of platemail complete with sword and shield.  Once you activate it, you can't turn it off until you get back to Agent P-C, Agent P-L or Agent P-T.  Just keep that in mind.  Of course, you can also remove the armor piece by piece, but that going to take time."

He nodded.

"Your bruiser battle dress is similar," he said turning to Jifar, "and activates by pressing the pearl in the front of your tiara.  There's no shield or weapon, but just have reinforced gauntlets and boots for your style of punching and kicking."

She nodded.

"Now that bracelet device on your right arm," he said to Big Mac, "shoots a line with a small grapple hook on it.  You can use it to pull yourself up to a ledge, anchor yourself to the ground, or hook onto an opponent's clothing and pull them over to you.  Turn your arm around so your wrist is bent back 90 degrees, aim with your forearm, and then press the palm of your hand hard with one or more fingertips."

He nodded.

"You have a compact with a mirror and something that looks like red blush," he said to her, "but I wouldn't use it for that.  The mirror reflects magic, and blowing across the powder will make a cloud of sleeping dust close to you.  Hold you breath to make sure it doesn't put you to sleep."

She nodded.

"So what all are we supposed to be doin?"

"Spy on the griffons and see what they're up to," replied Spike, "We don't think it's coincidence that they're going to the new dog village instead of some pony settlement.  They might even be plotting against the dogs, or worse, working with them."

"What all would workin with tha dogs git them?"

"We don't know.  That's one of the things we hope you'll find out for us."

"Is this here gonna be dangerous?" he asked as he looked at Jifar, "Ah still have some mental scars from the last time we were... guests of the dogs."

"I remember that too," agreed Spike, "but I'm sure that won't happen again... almost positively."

"Uh-huh..."

"Now the first evening you'll be in the dog village," continued Spike, "There will be a big regal shindig for the griffon VIPs.  That's where you'll slip in and meet with them.  Then later, you'll slip out and come back as the undercover griffons as independents like Gilda.  Infiltrate their group and convince them to tell you what they're planning about the dogs and Equestria."

"An what if one of them there dogs wants ta... do stuff with mah wifey?"

"Just claim she's your mate, your property," he replied, "and I'm sure you can intimidate any of their dogs into backing off.  Just make sure you don't get separated from each other unless you really really have to."

They both nodded.  He glanced over at Jifar in her dress and smiled.  It showed off her glorious breasts quite well, and it also showed off the great curves of her firm broad backside.  He walked over and grabbed her flank as he gave it a squeeze.

"Could you hold off on that until the mission is over?" grumbled Spike.

"Ah'll try, but ah can't promise nothin."

"But should there be a time that's right," she replied, "we may find ourselves mating all night."

"It's lucky that you two are supposed to be married as griffons and dogs," muttered Spike under his breath.

But Big Mac wasn't really listening.  He pulled down Jifar's head so he could kiss her fully on the lips.

"AHEM!" said Spike as he pretended to clear his throat.

A moment passed before he broke the kiss to ask, "Somethin more, Mister Spike?"

"Yes," he replied, "There's a few gadgets built into your carriage you should know about."

He nodded.

"First of all," he said, "There's a lever inside and on the driver's seat what will turn the carriage's armor plating on and off.  There another level on the driver's seat that will deploy a small ballista on the roof.  You have about 30 bolts for that weapon.  The blue bolts are armor piercing, and the red ones go 'boom'.  Then there's a magical engine that's controlled from the driver's seat that will allow you to run the carriage like a train from the driver's seat.  I should also tell you that it floats, and the magic engine works in water too.  Your mules have been trained to fight if they have to, and they won't be spooked by combat.  They were also bred for intelligence, so don't hesitate to ask them for advice.  Both of them have been fully appraised of the mission and what you might need to know."

He nodded again.

"Ya know, we should check out the seat ta make sure they all are comfy," he said as he winked at Jifar.

"Fine," moaned Spike, "but don't take too long... with your 'testing'."  He made air quotes as he said the last word.  Then he sighed as Big Mac and Jifar jumped into the carriage and closed the door behind them.

(18) Gold Talon

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

So Sir Big Macintosh and Dame Jifar travelled to the new dog village in their tricked out carriage pulled by the finest pair of white mules.  They were only bred from the finest white horses and white donkeys known to exist in Equestria, and were quite willing to brag about it to anypony that would listen from more than about a minute or so.  So the two of them told their driver Derpy Hooves all about it... three or four times along the way.  Yes, Derpy had been diverted from her duties as a mailmare just for this special occasion.

Unfortunately, Derpy thought she was driving the coach, so there was far too many thumps and bumps followed by a call of "Sorry.  I just don't know what went wrong" coming from the driver's bench.  Big Mac wasn't sure if she was apologizing to them, or perhaps some poor pony that just happened to get in their way.  He surely hoped that not many ponies were injured along the way, but the lack of screaming and cussing assured him most of the things Derpy was running over were inanimate.

It didn't really help any after the sun set and the moon rose, although it seemed that the mules had more control since Derpy, as well as many other ponies, just didn't see that well in the dark.  It seemed the mules could navigate the dark with their ears and noses alone.

"I can see the outskirts of the dog village," she called down the little voice tube into the main body of the carriage.

"Then slow us down there, sugar-cube," he called back, "We don't need ta hit no pony, dog or griffon around these here parts!"

The wagon slowed as he held Jifar against him.  She was still aglow as it were from the "stress test" they had put the royally-furnished bench seats through a couple of hours earlier.  He never got tired of mating with his sweetums.  But Spike... Agent S-D had made him promise not to do any more such tests until he was sure the mission was over.  Of course, he was a little vague about just when that might be.  It seemed he had a little latitude in that judgement.

He glanced out the window at the various dogs they passed.  They dressed as simple folk, both bitch and sire, as they were used to such things back when they lived in the Diamond Dog's mine.  In fact, it was a new thing that bitches were allowed any clothing at all.  But driving by first floor windows along the way told him that once they were indoors, most of them shed their clothing as quickly as possible, males present or no.  He wondered if that custom would even change, but then he figured as more pony customs became their own, that would surely take place over time.  They certainly didn't seem to care one wit about being seen by passersby either.

But as they rode closer to the center of the town where the highest ranking dogs and permanent pony residents lived, things changed.  Gas light torches began to line the sidewalks and street corners, making it lit passably in all places but the recesses of the alleys.  Packs of dog warriors appeared to be patrolling the well lit areas as well in their chain armor and sporting their long steel-headed boar-hunting spears.  The level of clothing grew more expensive and well as brighter for both the sires and the bitches.  Overall, it was much cleaner as well.  And if the females were shedding clothes indoors, they couldn't tell since all of the first floor windows were behind closed shutters and curtains.

Then what he feared happened.  There was a bump, and he heard Derpy say, "I'm sorry.  I don't know what went wrong."  He stepped out to see that they had bumped into the carriage in front of them.  They were at the end of a line of carriages waiting to disgorge their passengers at what he figured was the fancy shindig that Agent S-D told them all about.

"Next time," said one mule to the other, "You're going to decide when we should stop."

"Perhaps you should decide when we should stop," said the other.

"Oh no.  You should."

"Oh no.  You really should."

"Thank you very much, but I think you're the senior mule here.  You should."

"Senior by about 5 hours really.  It's best that you should."

"Perhaps we should compromise then."

"Very well.  We'll both decide.  Please and thank you."

"No please and thank you."

"Great," he muttered as he climbed back in, "I got the two politest asses in all of Equestria."  He looked at his smiling wife and said, "Small accident, sweetums.  We're almost to this here gala Agent S-D told us about.  There's about four carriages ahead of us."

"You should sit and be at ease," she said as she patted the seat next to her, "Try not to be so nervous, please?"

"Sorry sweetums," he said as he sat next to her, "I'm just a little nervous about this big ole job fer the Queen of Ponyville.  Ah wanna make a good impression on mah first assignment an all."

"I am sure that your wife can tell," she cooed, "that my shining knight shall do well."

"Ah'll do well knowing that ya believe in meh," he replied as he squeezed her hand.

The carriage stopped again as a moment passed, Derpy whispered something they couldn't quite hear, and then a dog sire announced, "ANNOUNCING SIR BIG MACINTOSH AND HIS WIFE, DAME JIFAR MACINTOSH!"

"This here is our moment to shine, sweetums."

He stepped out first, and then assisted her to step out of the door before turning and waving at the crowd lined up on both sides of the walkway.  The dogs were lined up on their right, being almost exclusively sires, and the ponies and griffons were lined up in two groups on the left side.

"Ah hope this ain't gonna be no dog and pony show," he said to her over all of the sounds of flash bulbs 'popping' around them from both sides.  It seems that the dogs were taking to photography like ducks to water as much as the griffons and ponies already were.  He glanced back over his shoulder as the mules pulled away the carriage even as Derpy was looking at them instead of the road ahead of her.

He walked along as he passed the ponies and then the griffons.  Hopefully he might notice his backup among them.  Just before they entered the club, he spotted two figures that didn't quite belong.  They were both wearing black hoodies like they were cold, or it might be raining, even though it was neither.  Still, they were hardly the only ones so dressed.  What caught his eye was the familiar beak he took for Gilda the Griffon, and the blue half-dog, half-pony muzzle he figured could only belong to the modified Rainbow Dash.  He subtly nodded in their direction as he waved, and the two of them replied in kind.  They had their hands inside their pockets as to not draw attention to Rainbow, or at least that's what he figured.

The doors opened and the light levels climbed even higher as they walked into the club, the doors held open by two very well dressed keythong (male griffon) butlers dressed to the nines.  They both bowed to him as he and Jifar walked by them.

"Good evening," said the best dressed waiter they had seen yet, "Please follow me to the private meeting in the back suite.  You are expected."

He took Jifar's arm as they followed him to the back, but then he stopped at the door and looked back.

"Are you sure you want to have her along?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"That's alright," he said, "She goes where I go."

"Well don't say you weren't warned," he said as he swept the door open before him.

"Now what all would I not want... Oh my..." he said as he walked in.

It wasn't the gold fixtures everywhere, the fact that everything on the tables was silver, or the fact they had way too many chandeliers lighting up the place.  On both side walls about as high as he was tall and the back wall, there was a stage.  On the stage to the right was about a dozen naked dancing bitches.  On the stage ahead of him was about a dozen naked dancing mares.  On the stage to his was about the same number of naked dancing griffoninesses.  Yet all of them were decked out with all manner of gold jewelry from necklaces to earrings to headpieces to chains about their waists, arms and legs.  While he wasn't all that sure about dog or griffon tastes, the mares were surely the biggest breasted, biggest flanked mares he had seen before (other than Jifar and Sombrarity, of course).  Each stage had a half a dozen poles across it each each dancer seemed to get their turn showing off their tricks on the pole.  That seemed to be where the most gold coin was getting tossed from the males watching them.  Between songs, the girls of various species swept up the gold coin and took it back stage before the next set of dancers appeared.  Since there weren't any squabbles, he figured all the tips were split up among the dancers back stage... minus the managing fees, of course.

"Good evening," said a large keythong from a nearby table, "Please come over and introduce yourselves."  He was about the gaudiest golden griffon that he had ever seen in his life, which admittedly wasn't all that many.  He had at least 5 pounds more in gold on him than anyone else around, griffon, dog or pony.  His beak was covered in gold, and he wore a golden gauntlet over his left talon that screamed wealth with all of it's small rubies covering it.  Silk and golden threads were clearly the materials that made up his over the top suit.

"The name's Macintosh," he said as he offered his hand, "Big Macintosh."

"Come come," he said as he pointed to the chair next to him, "Have a seat.  We're just having a little friendly game of cards before the official meeting.  Surely you have some spare gold to gamble with, don't you?"

He reached into his largest pocket and felt some coin that could only be heavy enough to be gold.

"Sure I does," he answered as he sat, "but where all is Jifar gonna sit?"

"I'm so sorry," he replied, "This table is only for the keythongs... I mean stallions.  I'm sure the... uh... little mare... can find something to do, right?"

"Do not let it bother you," said Jifar, "I shall find something to do."

"Yer the best, sweetums," he replied.

She smiled as she walked away, an exaggerated sway in her flanks.  Big Mac wasn't the only one at the table staring.

"A giraffe?" he asked, "How exotic.  I had no idea they were quite... that sexy."

"Oh yeah."

"Have you played Griffon Five Claw Poker, Mister Macintosh?"

"Oh, it all has been a few years," he lied as he started emptying his pocket of gold coin onto the table.  A nude griffoniness came buy with a tray, and she started exchanging his gold coin for multicolored poker chips.  The numbers were in griffon glyphs, but he guessed their value from their size and color.

"Very well.  I don't mind going over the cards with you before we resume the game," he said as he looked around, "Any objections?"

No one objected.

Dog and Pony Show

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Big Macintosh was nervous.  He was playing for more gold than he had ever seen in his life.  While he was supposed to be working for Queen Sombrarity and indirectly Princess Celestia, and not even playing with his own money, it was still enough to make a huge difference at Sweet Apple Acres.  But still, he didn't have much confidence in his Griffon Five Claw Poker skills.  So far, he had been betting small and folding early to minimize his losses.  He simply watched as Gold Talon cleaned out one player after another with his own bold playing style.  Finally, it was down to the two of them, and he was sweating.

"Well well, Sir Macintosh," said Gold Talon as he looked over the top of his cards, "It seems it's just down to me and you.  You can still draw up to three new cards before we continue.  Are you sure you don't want to change any cards?"

"Ah'm good."

"Then this shall be the last hand for you," he replied as he pushed all of his chips into the center, "You have to meet my bet or lose."

"Actually," said the Dealer, about the only griffoniness he had seen elegantly dressed in the whole room, "He simply has to go all in."

"Then count meh in," he said as he pushed in all of his chips.

Gold Talon laid down his cards as he said, "I have three Monarchs and two wild Jesters for a total of Five of a Kind.  What have you?"

He laid down his cards just as the keythong was about to reach for the pile of chips.

"What?!  You beat me with Royal Flush in Spears?!" he blurted out, then he narrowed his eyes as he said, "Well played, Sir Macintosh.  I see your strategy now.  Pretending to not know what you're doing.  Betting small and folding early to make the other players underestimate you while you waited for me to clean them out.  Sweating and acting nervous whenever you had a bad hand as if you had a lousy poker face.  Then you clean me out when I least expect it.  A brilliant strategy, good sir."

Actually, Big Macintosh didn't know what he was doing.  It was pretty much dumb luck that let him win, and he didn't even know it until Gold Talon said so.  There was no brilliant strategy.

He waved over a nude griffoniness with an empty tray as he said, "It's time to cash out the winner here so we can get onto business." He looked at Big Macontosh as he said, "Of course, they'll have to give you a receipt that you can cash in after they've tallied the days earnings.  I hope you don't mind not taking your gold right away."

"It all works fine fer me," he replied as she started sweeping all of his chips onto her tray waving her modest firm breasts in both of their faces as she stood between the two of them.  He noticed that her head, breast and wing feathers were pitch black while her other feathers were deep brown.  He picked up a large chip and tucked it in a slot in the back (where he figured tips went) as he said, "A little somethin fer yer troubles, sugar-cube."

Gold Talon raised an eyebrow at that, but made no comment as they both watched her retreating wiggling butt and her waving tail with three gold rings at the end just before the lionesque tuft of fur.

"So tell me what makes you tick.  What are your plans?"

He figured he should say something big, so he leaned closer as he said, "Ah'm planning to git mahself enough gold ta buy out every apple farm in Equestria."  He hoped that sounded more impressive than it did to him.

"Ah," the griffon replied, "Cornering the market on the domestic apple production so you can set all of the prices and reap all of the profits.  Very sound strategy."

He nodded.

"I myself took over the market for mushroom production, expanded into domestic grains, and then took over all beer production in the Griffon Kingdom.  If there's one thing griffon's must have, it's their beer.  Law dictates it must be made from the best water and purest ingredients, after all.  Soon I shall take over the matter of all domestic wine and ale production as well."

He nodded even though he didn't quite understand everything Gold Talon had just said.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here in a village of dogs?" he asked, "I'll tell you.  I see much potential here, Sir Macintosh.  There's a vast potential for wealth to be made here.  A mine largely untapped by the dogs that run it.  A cheap supply of timid and obedient bitches.  And we're not that far from a Princess of Equestria and the Capital that lays beyond.  The place where the big Princesses reside and rule."

He nodded again.  Those things he could understand very well.

"As a Knight of the Realm," he continued, "You can help me gain a foothold here in many ways.  I can promise you much gold and treasure in return for your cooperation.  A win-win situation as I see it."

He paused to look across the room at something over Big Macintosh's shoulder.  "Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that."

Big Mac turned about to see that Jifar was on the stage as naked as any mare, and taking to the center pole.  Her breasts and flanks alone dominated the stage, let alone her exotic hide, her size, and her wagging tail.  It seemed natural that when she hugged the pole, one breast settled on each side of it.  She leaned against the pole with her head on one side as she looked her loving hubby in the eyes.

"That's mah sweetums," he said, "She does a whole messa stuff fer me."

"Truly an exotic delight you have there."

She spun about the pole several times so all of her assets could be seen clearly.  A few coins were tossed at her hooves.  Then she climbed the pole almost all the way, gripped the pole with her legs, and then flipped over so that her boobs were in her face.  She used her hands to spin about the pole a few more times.  More coins were tossed at her pole.  Then she surprised them all by releasing the pole and walking to the edge of the stage on her hands.  He noticed that in spite of her size and her shape, she seemed to maintain her balance with ease.  More coins were tossed at her.  Even the other mares performing on stage had stopped to stare at the show the giraffe was putting on.  She laid to her side without falling over, and then lifted her upper leg bent at the knee so that her goods, all of them, were on full display to all the males transfixed on her.  A small shower of gold coin was tossed at her.  She smiled as she propped her head up with her hand as her elbow rested on the stage.  Then with a twist and turn, she was on her hands and knees looking away from the audience.  Her legs were spread wide and her tail wagged high.  Now her nether region was as plain to see as anypony could imagine.  She bobbed up and down as if some invisible stallion was mating with her.  More coin was tossed.

Gold Talon waved over one of his keythong minions and said, "Toss a gold bar up there for the giraffe.  She really knows how to put on a show."

She rolled onto her back as her butt and hips continued to bounce up and down.  A gold bar was tossed up along with all of the gold coin thrown in her direction.  Then the song ended, and the mares began to sweep up the coins before leaving the stage.  But Jifar boldly hopped off the stage to the amazement of all, strode across the room with her swaying walk, and promptly sat down right on Big Macintosh's lap.  Then she draped her arms about his neck even as she was stared at, and then planted a big wet kiss on his lips.  He returned the favor by putting his arms about her waist as he shared her passion.  It seemed that every pair of eyes in the room were now fixated on the two of them.  Then the kiss ended.

"Now sweetums," he said, "Ya should go back and fetch yer clothes now.  They might get just a mite upset if ya stayed like this all evening."

"No we wouldn't," said a random keythong before his buddy popped him in the side with his elbow.

She simply smiled, kissed him on the cheek, and strode back to the stage as if she owned the place.  Then she pulled herself onto the stage, paused while they all stared at her round and firm flanks again, and vanished into the back to the hoots and hollers of the watchers on the floor around him.

"Mah sweetum will do anythin I ask her," he said to Gold Talon with a grin.

"Perhaps I should have a few of those Zebrican women added to my... collection."

"Actually," he said with a huge grin, "She jus came ta me one day."

"I see."  He leaned closer and said, "But there is something I don't quite understand."

He leaned closer.

"The nearby village has it's own Queen," he said, "but the nation is run by two Princesses.  Another Princess runs the Crystal Empire.  And another Princess lives in Ponyville with no apparent duties."

"A-yup."

"And you think this is... perfectly normal?"

"A-yup."

"I see," he said as he scratched his gold beak with his gold talon, "Most curious.  I'd love to spend the rest of the evening with you, but other matters are demanding my attention."  He offered the red Earth pony a key with a numbered tag made of solid silver.  "Come to my spare room tomorrow after the sun sets and we shall discus... more important matters."

He nodded as he took the key and pocketed it.  Then Gold Talon stood, shook his hand, and then walked away.

Casino Royale Tea

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Big Macintosh watched as Gold Talon and his attendants walked away from the table.  He was still waiting for his sweet Jifar to return as well as the delivery for the gold coin he was to collect later on.  Something told him that Gold Talon was an exceedingly dangerous character, and most likely would have avoided him at all costs if they met under other circumstances.

"Something to drink, Sir Macintosh?" asked a nude pony mare over his shoulder.

"Yes ma'am," he said as he looked back, "Tea please.  One lump if'n ya don't mind."  She had a pink hide similar to Pinkie Pie, but with a broader nose and thicker lips.  As she leaned forward towards his ear, he noticed that her good sized breasts had sagged somewhat leaving her nipples to point at the floor.  He glanced at her flank and noticed her cutie mark was a martini glass with seven bubbles coming from it.

"Hot tea or ice tea?"

"Surprise meh, sugar-cube."

So she pressed her boobs in his face.  That surprised him alright.

"Ah... make it ice tea."

"You want milk or cream with that?" she purred in his ear.

"No thanks," he replied nervously, "Ah'm good."

She stood and smiled as he offered her one of his spare gold bits.  As she leaned down again, she bit the bit in her teeth, turned and strutted away as her flanks waved behind her.

"Ah wonder if'n sweetums would mind meh comin here more often," he said softly as he wiped his brow.

While waiting for his tea, another nude griffoniness strut out to hand him his receipt for the gold he won during his game.  He knew enough about numbers from school that he was indeed staring at a really big number.  After she kissed him on the cheek, he gave her a gold bit tip of her own.  In the meantime, most of the others from the same table had wandered away to pursue other interests, such as gawking at all the naked female flesh along the various stages around them.

As he listened, a pair of keythongs wandered by as one said to the other, "I've heard that Auric Gold Talon is going to buy up all the domestic ale production.  I'd swear he's not going to rest until he own all of the Griffon Kingdom."

"He's biting off more than he can swallow, if you ask me," replied the other.

"But still I've heard he's *very ruthless and totally dangerous*," said the first, "Not the kind of keythong I'd cross."

"You and me both."

They continued talking as they left his hearing range.  Then somepony slipped up behind him, placing one of her huge boobs over each of his shoulders even as she set the cup of tea in front of him.  "Enjoying the show?" she purred into his ear.  Judging by the feathers against the back of his head, he figured it had to be one of the Griffoninesses.

"It's... delightful," he replied as he sipped the tea and tried to ignore her tits.

"Well then," she replied, "one of the performers from the pony side of the back room asked me to relay a message to you.  That the one called 'Jifar' was going to be waiting for you in your room... for some kind of private performance.  You lucky dog."

He wondered what she might have been talking about, because no one mentioned a room before.  But then she dropped a key with a silver numbered tag on it right onto his crotch, so that answered that.

"I noticed that she must be the new giraffe," she cooed, "and I must admit she has the kind of body I'd love to... eat up.  But I also noticed a few mares and dogs left right after her with some... stuff.  Maybe you're in for an orgy, no?"

He slammed down his drink and stood so fast, he almost slapped the poor lass with her own boobs.

"Sorry, sugar-cube," he said quickly, "Gotta go.  Sweetums ain't tha patient sort."

He glanced back to notice she had to grab her own breasts to stop them from waving around.  Slipping a few gold bits from his pocket, he tossed them onto the table as he ran.  He moved just slow enough not to bulldoze anyone who got in his way, but they knew he was coming through.  But he had to stop cold a few times not to knock trays from the hands of the naked wait staff.  While he noticed that some were the same bitches, griffoninesses and mares that were performing on stage, many of them just weren't pretty enough to risk spoiling the tips.  He figured that they must only work for tips from the floor.

Once outside, he glanced at the tag.  It read '666', so he figured it had to be the 66th room of the 6th floor.  He realized it was on the floor below the 'spare suite' that Gold Talon told him about.  He dashed to 'the little magic room that went up and down', as he liked to call it, and stepped in as soon as it opened.  Something like L E Vator.  He figured it must be the pony that invented it or something.

"Sixth floor please!" he said as he watched the suited stallion standing next to the control level.  There was a few other stallions and keythongs in the room with him already.  He waited nervously as the room stopped at every floor adding and reducing the number of passengers as they entered and left.  It seemed that almost a minute passed at each floor, and he wondered if running up the stairwell would have been much faster.  Each floor was called out loudly as they rose upwards until he finally called out, "Sixth Floor!  Please wait for the doors to...  I SAID WAIT SIR!"  But Big Macintosh had already pushed his way out as soon as the doors began to open.  He frantically searched for room '666'.  After circling most of the floor, he came across the room, and dropped the keys in his hurry to unlock it.

"SWEETUMS?!" he called, "ARE YA IN THERE?!"

There was no response and he finally got the key into the lock.  Then he threw the door open as soon as it was unlocked and rushed in.  Hurrying into the large room, what he saw there stopped him cold.  It was a gold statue shaped like Jifar laying on the bed with her legs straight against each other and her arms folded across her chest just over her motherly breasts.  No, it couldn't be...  It had to be her covered in gold somehow!  She wasn't moving.

"SWEETUMS?!" he cried as he rushed over and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"This magical makeup is making me hot," she moaned softly, "and uncomfortable by quite a lot.  I'm sorry that I'm not at my best, but I felt I needed just a little rest."

He mashed her chest against his in a very tight hug as he said, "It only matters that yer okay!  But what's with the silly gold paint stuff?!"  Even through his clothes, the gold covering her felt thick and heavy.

"The mare in back said this would be a surprise for you," she replied, "And it didn't seem like such a bad thing to do."

"Well it shore looks bad ta me," he replied, "Ya look like yer ready ta pass out from the heat, and how are ya supposed ta sweat like that?"

"Please do not let your fears flower," she said, "It should come off in a hot shower."

"Then yer gettin a hot shower right now, sweetums," he said as he put her whole body over his shoulder.  Rushing to the private bathroom, he sat her against the wall opposite the shower head as he turned on the water.  He started cold and slowly turned up the heat as he tested the temperature with his hand.  Once he noticed the gold was starting to wash off her, he paused to strip and get in with her so he wouldn't mess up the fine suit as he helped remove the gold covering from his sweet giraffe wife.  "Aw sweetums," he purred into her ear, "Ya ain't never gotta do nothin special fer me.  I tell ya I wouldn't do that kind of thing."

She smiled softly as he hands rubbed her body all over, slowly removing the gold as her natural spotted hide came back into view.  His erect cock told her all that she needed to know, so she rolled him over so that he was sitting against the wall and stood up high enough to place her pussy over it.

"And you must surely know," she purred as she settled onto him, "that that's why I love you so."

But he said nothing as he latched onto one breasts with both hands, placed his mouth over one of her nipples and began teasing it with his tongue.  Being in the shower as long as they were, they were both quite wet and ready for sex.  After a couple hours of good clean fun, having both of them cum about three times, the two of them finally stepped from the bathroom still naked together as they aimed for the bed.

However, the sight that met them there took them a bit by surprise.  There was a naked Bakabaka mounting Spike (fake mustache and all) on one side of the bed while a likewise nude Gilda on top of Rainbow Dash in opposite directions as they sixty-nined each other (on the other side of the bed).

"What can I say," said Spike in a fake deep accent, "The way you two lovebirds go at each other in the shower, we couldn't help but get aroused."

"Uhhh..."

"I take it your meeting with Auric Gold Talon went well?"

"UUUHHHH..."

"Oh, we shouldn't take too much longer," he said smoothly, "and I think Jifar would like some more... cuddling... while you wait."

"So y'all were spyin on us?" he asked as he sat down, and then Jifar sat crosswise in his lap.

"Well who do you think left you that key?"

"An who's bright idea was it to fully cover mah sweetums in gold paint-stuff?"

"WHAT?!" he asked in shock.  Everypony stopped what they where doing to look at him.

"Ah said..."

"No, I heard you!" he replied, "But none of us would ever suggest something as dangerous as that!"

"What all are ya sayin?"

"If her entire body was covered and she was left like that for a few hours, she could have died!"

"Something stinks," he said, "and it ain't mah month old socks!"

"Nah," he replied, "It doesn't sound as much nefarious as much as an innocent mistake by some inexperienced young mares.  Wait, your socks are a month..."

"Ah hope so, Mister Spike," he replied as he snuggled his wife's neck, "Ah sure hope so..."

Bakabaka resumed mounting Spike while Dash and Gilda continued eating each other, and Jifar was quite content to allow him to play with her boobs as much as he wanted to.  He couldn't help but wonder what Gold Talon could have possibly achieved by orchestrating this attack on his wife, but only possibly revenge for losing so much gold seemed to fit, and why would he punish his wife who had nothing to do with it?  Why would he ask for his cooperation on one hand if he was going to kill his wife behind his back with the other?  It didn't make much sense to him, but it verified in his mind that Gold Talon could quite possibly be as dangerous as the keythongs said about him earlier.

(21) Thunderballs

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Once the orgy was over, it seemed they could get back to the business at hand.

"So tell meh more about this Auric Gold Talon," said Big Macintosh.

"He's a griffon bigwig," said Spike, "spreading his influence with his money all over the place.  We're not quite sure about why he's come here."

"Well he did say something about a supply of cheap and submissive bitches," he replied as he scratched his chin.

"I would think he would need more reason than that."

"And he did say something about the untapped resources of the dog's mine."

"So... how 'chummy' are the two of you?"

"Well, he all said he wanted me ta help him out, an he would make me lots of gold in the process."

"Then he might be willing to trust you with his plans," replied Spike as he twirled his mustache.

"Ah'm supposed ta meet him in a room above this one tomorrow," he said evenly.

"Perhaps if you brought something of... Dash?!  Could you stop licking Gilda's face like that?!  It's distracting!"  He had turned his head to see how Dash was lapping at Gilda's face even as the Pegasus-dog had crawled into the griffon's lap.  Of course, having his own naked giraffe cow in his lap, Big Macintosh wasn't so inclined to make any comments about it.

"Oh... I don't mind," cooed Gilda, "It's just her way of... showing affection..."  But Dash slipped some tongue into the griffon's mouth as she said, "Ew, you got some tongue in my beak."

"What were you saying, Mister Spike?"

"Please call me Agent S-D," he replied, "but I was saying he might take you more seriously if you brought some... collateral with you."

"Have something in mind?"

"I have a couple of Equestrian Gold Bars stashed with me," he replied as he stroked his beard, "Tell him you can get more."

"But he's going to pay me..."

"I'm sure he knows that it takes gold... OTHER ponies' gold... to make gold."

"Ah see."

"The gold bars should be under the bed in your room before tomorrow morning."

"That sounds good," he replied, "as long as they don't wake us up."

"You won't even know when the delivery has been made."

"Well, snookums and I should be on our way back to our room," he said, "Soon as we all git dressed again."

"Okay," he said, "Gilda and Rainbow Dash can slip out the back window along the fire escape.  The room faces the back alley.  Then Miss Bakabaka and I can slip out in our hotel cleaning staff uniforms."

"Sounds like a plan."

...

A short while later, the newly cleaned and dressed Big Macintosh and Jifar stood before their own room door as he messed about looking for the room keys.  But a noise within the room came to his ears, so he glanced at her as he said fairly quietly, "Wait outside a moment, sweetums."

She nodded as he unlocked the door and slowly began to open it.  Slowly, he stepped inside and closed the door behind, but didn't bother to lock it.  He turned up the lights from the control beside the door, and then looked about for where he might have heard the noises from.  He decided to creep about the bed and see if anypony was hiding in the closet.  But as he walked slowly around the bed, he was grabbed by the ankle and tripped from somepony underneath.  The closet door did open as someone scrambled on top of him from under the bed.

His attacker turned out to be a griffoniness in skin tight black, and when she raised her taloned hand to slash him, rolled her over and pinned her hands to the floor by her wrists.

"Wait," said the keythong from the closet, "We aren't here to fight!"  He was also dressed in skin tight black.

"Y'all got a funny way a showin it," he muttered as she hissed in his face.

"Gold Talon flunkie!!" she growled as she struggled.

"There's no proof that he's working with him," he replied more reasonably.

"So what did this Gold Talon do?" he asked as he kept her pinned.

"My sister was killed by his flunkie!!" she spat in his face, "I know he ordered her killed!!"

"We can't prove it," replied the other griffon.

"All we need is one witness who isn't scared of him!!"

"Even if that all is true," he replied, "He didn't say nothin ta meh about it.  But tell me who you really work for."

"We work for the secretive Kingdom of Griffons Bureau," he replied.

"The KGB, you say?" he asked as if that really meant anything to him.

"Just give her a moment to calm down," he replied, "I'm sure that..."

"You can stop talking about me like I'm not here!!" she snapped.

"Ah can surely understand why ya's so upset, sugar cube," he replied, "but randomly attacking strangers ain't gonna fix nuthin."

"**YOU'RE!...* You're..." she stammered, "You're right.  I'm sorry.*"

"So what all did yer sister do fer him?"

"She worked for him as a secretary," she replied, "but her main function was to help him earn money by spying on other players through a telescope while they bet on games of 'Go Fish'.  But one day, this rogue stallion seduced her from her station, threatened him through his magical earpiece to turn him over to the police if he didn't start losing, and then the two screwed like rabbits while Gold Talon lost a few thousand gold coin.  The last time we met, she spend a fair amount to time telling me about the whole deal because she was so ashamed she was forced to help him swindle other keythongs out of their gold."

"Ah see how that might upset him."

"Enough to have his flunky kill her!" she cried, "When they found her naked, covered in thick gold paint, and dead after missing work for a few days, they just assumed it was something kinky that went bad!  But I knew it was HIM!!**"

"I keep telling you that your blind quest for revenge is going to get you killed just as dead as your sister," replied the keythong.

"As long as he goes down," she hissed, "I don't care what happens to me anymore!"

He slapped her across the face as he replied, "Ah don't know nothin about yer sister, but I'll bet ya she'd want ya to honor her memory by NOT DYING!"

She looked into his eyes in shock even as the keythong nodded behind her.

"He's right," agreed the keythong, "I met your sister a few times, and I think he's absolutely right about how she would feel."

She looked away from them, not willing to admit that either of them could be right about her sister.

"Now are yah calm 'nough fer me ta let ya up?" he asked as he looked down on her fine form.

He got up off her as she regained her feet.

"Now afore ya hear it elsewhere," he said, "Ah'm supposed ta be pretendin ta work with Mister Gold Talon so ah can spy on him fer the Queen of Ponyville."

"So you have your own suspicions about him?" asked the keythong.

He nodded.

"Then perhaps it's best that we at the KGB helped you investigate his activities here in Equestria."

"Jus stop hidin under mah bed."

"Very well," he said, "My name is Felix Lightfeather, and my associate here..."  He pointed at the griffoniness. "is Tilly Masterclaw."

"Pleased to meet ya," he replied, "The name's Macintosh.  Sir Big Macintosh."

"Dame Jifar Macintosh is my name," said Jifar who crept into the room while no one noticed, "We are married so our name's almost the same."

"Uh... hi sweetums," he replied, "Been around here long?"

"Around long enough to see," she said, "that wrestling might be new for me."

"We weren't flirting," said Tilly, "I was trying to beat the stuffing out of him."

"Ah don't normally fight with mares... or females of any species."

"Can she be trusted to keep secrets?" asked Felix.

"Ah'm her warrior and husband," he replied, "She would most like die afore she spilled any of mah secrets.  Not that I'd ever let that happen."

"Such dedication must be nice."

"What are you babbling about, moron?!" snapped Tilly.

"Nothing!" he snapped defensively.

For Your Eyes Only

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

After sorting out the little mess with the KGB agents, Big Macintosh was able to settle down for a private moment with Jifar.  Before they returned to their disguises as hotel staff, they left behind a file about Gold Talon for them to read later... and then destroy in the waste basket with some matches they left behind.  She fondly sat crosswise in his lap as he looked over one sheet after another.

"This Gold Talon fella sure is inta collectin stuff," he mused as he looked over the pages within the file, "Gold, silver, gems, jewels, beer, ale, wine, dames, griffoninesses, mares, bitches... a whole messa stuff.  I hope he has no designs on you, sweetums."

"Kidnapping me would be a bad thing to do," she replied, "as he may well have bitten off more than he can chew."

"Ah'm shore ya right," he replied as he stroked her knee with his fingertips, "Ah jus hope those KGB-type agents are bein on the level with us."

"She's out for revenge as I can see," she said, "I hope you never take that path for me."

"If somethin happened to ya, sweetums," he answered as he stroked her neck, "I couldn't promise nuthin."

"That would surely fill me with fear," she replied, "Bad sounds to my ears I hear."  She nodded her head towards the other closet.  He looked at the door and just wondered how many closets one suite would need.

"Honeybuns," he said, "Why don't'cha go see if they have any of that there bubbly stuck away in the kitchen."

She nodded as she got off his lap and made some moderately heavy hooffalls going towards the kitchen.  He slipped closer to the other closet door using her steps to cover the sounds of his movement.  Much to his surprise, two dogs tumbled into the room as soon as he threw the door open.  One a sire and the other a bitch in skin tight black clothing.  He began to wonder if skin tight black clothing was some kind of spy thing.

"Howdy," he said, "I shore hope ya got a real good reason fer hangin out in mah closet like that."

"The shoes?" asked the bitch as she held up a pair of pumps no doubt left there for Jifar's hooves.

"E-nope," he replied as he shook his head.

"Would you believe we're here to rob you blind?" asked the sire.

Jifar cracked her knuckles as she stood in the doorway to the kitchen area.  He shook his head at her as well as the dogs.

"So why are y'all here... seriously."

"We're... part of a separatist movement from the Diamond Dog's home mine."

"Yes," agreed the bitch, "We want to live here like ponies.  Bitches want to have clothes and nice things.  We want to have the right to speak our minds without fear of punishment.  There's more to us than just being puppy mills for warriors and mine workers."

"An y'all think I has somethin ta do with the Shaman?"

"We know you had... an encounter with him," he said.

"That don't make us chummy," he replied, "He even tried to keep meh as a mine slave afore ah helped them revolt in tha first place."

"That... was you?!"

"Ah... had some help... an all."

The dogs grovelled at his feet and began to kiss his hooves.

"Ah... that all ain't necessary... really."

"We owe you so much," he said as he grovelled.

"Well if'n y'all can tell me what kinda stuff the Shaman is up to around these here parts," he said as he lifted them back to their feet, "Ah'm shore we can call us even.  Ah want'ya to remain free fom him as much as y'all do, I promise."

The bitch stepped closer against him as she put her hands about his shoulder and said as she smiled, "I didn't think you'd be... quite so studly..."

"And you should not cover your intentions with a smile," replied Jifar as she grabbed the sire, "You really shouldn't be looking at my darling's file."

"We just wanted to know what the griffons know about the Shaman, and what this Gold Talon might want from him," replied the sire.

But he was busy leaning his head back when the bitch started licking his nose.  He managed to hold her at arms length before she stopped licking.

"It's all right sweetums," he said, "Let them see the file.  Ah'm sure we all can keep secrets here."

So she released him while he quickly began looking over the sheets in the file.

"Ahah," he said as he held up one sheet, "Gold Talon wants to engage the dogs in the slave trade.  He wants to buy as many of our bitches as he can, and apparently from the higher ups back at the Diamond Dog's mine."

"You know, with alla yer gold in that mine," he said, "It seems like a good target for Mister Gold Talon."

"He would buy slaves and rob the dogs?!"

"He does have a reputation fer bein ruthless."

He noticed that the bitch's hand was fumbling at his crotch and pants fly before he grabbed it at the wrist.  She surely was interested in getting into his pants.

"Yer friend her shore is frendly-like," he said as he held her hand up.

"Forgive her," he said, "She used to be a nursing bitch and warrior's playtoy for a few years before she left and came here.  Her womb has born the dogs a few dozen pups as well as all the pups she was made to nurse with the nursing potion.  She's been... conditioned... to be eager to service any male in any way that she can.  I hope... that she can be reconditioned... one of these days."

She pushed him back against the wall as she used her other hand to unbutton his fly and opened his pants.

"Uh... sweetums?!"

"While it can be sad to see," she replied, "I think it's best to let her be."

He blushed as she pulled out his nearly erect cock and she started licking it from the base to the tip.

"Yeah," replied the sire, "Once her conditioning kicks in like that... it's a really bad idea to persuade her she should stop."

They watched as she deep throated his erection with seemingly little trouble.

"Uh... okay," he sighed as she teased him with her tongue, "If'n ya don't mind..."

"I shall blame not either of you," she replied, "so let her do what she's conditioned to do."

"Yer the best," he panted.

"It's kind of embarrassing really," said the sire.

She sucked and swallowed for several minutes before he dumped his load down her throat.  Then she stood up wiping her chin and led him by his cock over to the bed.  She laid over the side of it even as she started pulling down her own skin tight black pants.  It was obvious she had no panties on underneath.

"Please screw me," she begged, "You must."

He glanced at Jifar.  She nodded as the sire chose to look someplace else in the room.  So he gulped hard even as he stuck his throbbing erection into her already hot and damp bitchpussy.  Her legs were spread as far as her lowered pants would allow.  Glancing at Jifar, he noticed her hand was under her skirt, and he figured she had to be fingering herself even as he screwed the pooch.  He figured there was going to be another round of hot shower sex with his wifey later.

"Look..." he said while be banged away at the bitch, "Burn the file in the garbage can.  I don't think either of us really need it anymore."

The sire nodded as he started stuffing paper into the room's can.  He added something clear to the can to make it burn much hotter and faster.

About then, the bitch climaxed shortly before he dumped another load into her vagina.

"Ah'm supposed ta meet with this Gold Talon tomorrow to speak about business," he said as he pulled out of her.  He pulled up her pants even before he fixed his own.

"Then we shall speak again soon, Mister Macintosh," he said as he helped his partner set her clothing right, "I think this one needs a hot shower... heck we both do."

"Ah know," he replied as Jifar ran over and kissed him on the lips hotly.  She pressed him against the wall as the two dogs slipped out after making sure no one was in the hallway.

"You didn't burn the stuff we needed, right?" she asked.

"They're shoved in my pants," he replied, "But letting him mate with you like that... isn't that pretending a bit too much?"

"I wan't pretending as much as I wanted to," she replied softly.

He said nothing further.

Going for the Gold

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

After a quick shower and the attendant shower sex, Big Mac found that Jifar had already rushed to bed ahead of him for round two of that night.  If he wasn't such a stud, he might not have been able to keep up with her appetites.  After all, the sex they just had against the shower stall wall was... steamy.  But watching him mate with the bitch agent made her all kinds of hot and wanton.  And he just couldn't get enough of her broad motherly hips and her extraordinary breasts matched only by Celestia and the Queen of Ponyville, Sombrarity.  He was going to be lucky to get any sleep at all that night, and it was fortunate that the meeting with Mister Gold Talon wasn't until the next evening.

But her spread legs, her broad smile, and her boobs that jiggled when she breathed told him all he needed to know.  So he climbed onto the bed, slipped up over his wife, and kissed her on the lips as he slipped his erection into her mareslit.  Even though he was using both hands to support himself on the bed, he could still feel Jifar's mammoth breasts against his chest.  And he could never get enough of her amazing purple tongue.  She wrapped her legs about his flanks and used them to drive him even harder and faster into her.

He also knew enough to know that without powerful magical intervention, he would never bear a child with Jifar.  The differences between the two species were too great to even make a mule-like hybrid.  They would just have to hope for a child with Twilight, or perhaps adopt from either Equestria or Zebrica.  It only seemed like a minor matter to two souls who were so deeply in love from the first sight.  His mind drifted back to the first moment he saw her while he was pumping iron, and how impressed he was at how easily she moved the weights that were bordering on his bench press limits.

The two traded climaxes all night until they had at least three more each before he finally just collapsed on top of her and fell asleep.  She snuggled him close as she soon followed him.

...

The Shaman gazed into his crystal ball as he observed the nightly events in the new dog village.  He didn't like how many players were trying to muscle in on his action there.  There was the separatist dog movement trying to undermine his influence.  A big beaked griffon thinking he could just move in and buy up all the extra bitches he might one day need to make new warriors and miners.  A secret griffon organization working to undermine him.  Then there was the agent of the Queen of Ponyville and the Princess Celestia of Equestria.  There was a fragile understanding between them at the moment, but he was old enough and wise enough to know that could change at any time.  Any of them could cause trouble at any time, and he didn't like trouble.

About then, a rather attractive bitch came in and knelt before him.  He could tell by her teats that she had been nursing pups lately, but couldn't tell if the pups were hers or she was just hopped up on nursing potion.  Perhaps if he was a hundred years younger...

"Speak," he said as she obediently awaited his permission.

"Our spy in the dog village has sent a report," she replied, "They say that they have more information on the one called Gold Talon."

"Go on," he continued.

"He has been reported as an international trader of beer, grain, gold and sex slaves."

"I already knew dat, sweet teats."

"He may have designs on our gold reserves, great and powerful Shaman."

"Oh does he now?"

"He is suspected of gold theft and smuggling in various countries," she added, "but apparently this is his first venture into Equestria."

"Say, why ain't that useless sire of yers here to tell me this himself?"

"He labors endlessly to advance the Diamond Dog cause, Master," she whimpered as she grovelled.

"That joik told ya ta say that, didn't he?" he grumbled, "Ya ain't that gooda liar, sweet teats.  But don't worry yer pretty little head.  I ain't gonna punish you fer his slacking.  Now get yourself back to nursing."

She respectively backed out of the room on her hands and knees until she was well outside.  He glanced down at the tracks she left in the shallow sand that covered his floor.  He loved being so respected and feared.

...

It was a fine morning for Go Fish, thought Gold Talon as he looked at his cards.  He was up 8 books to none for his opponent, and once again he had the gold in his favor.  Of course, he was at a severe advantage.  He had a bug in his ear.

"He has one King of Spears, one Jack of Clovers, one ten of Spears, and a pair of threes:  one in Gems and the other in Red Eye," said his spy into his ear.  She had a sweet voice that he really like to listen to.

"Are you ready to concede this game, Silver Quill?" he asked of the Hippogriff sitting across from him.

"Never," he replied, "Your lucky streak can't last forever."

"You're right," he said with a smirk, "My streak has only lasted... four days.  It could turn around at any time.  By the way friend, give me your Threes."

He blinked and almost cursed as he slapped down his Threes.  Gold Talon picked them up and slapped down a Book of Threes.

"You're so lucky!" he said as he dropped another hundred Gold Talon Coins onto the already impressive pile sitting by him.

"I guess so," he replied.

"You're so getting a bad review," he muttered under his breath.

"It's just a friendly game, my friend," he said smoothly.

He looked at Gold Talon's books and said, "Give me your Fives."

"Go Fish."

He drew another card.

"He's drawn the King of Gems," purred the voice in his ear.

"Give me your Kings," he said with a smirk.

Silver Quill growled as he slapped down his Kings, and Gold Talon snatched them up to slap down another Book.  Another pile of gold was added.

"Oh look," he said, "You get the last Book."  He placed his last cards on the table, and then smiled as he slid a small pile of gold back to the Hippogriff.  "Same time tomorrow?"

"Oh, you can count on it!"

Silver got up fast and stalked away from the table.  He gave the nod to his 'agent' that she was finished for the day.  She could get on with other matters.  He knew what room she had, and how eager she would be to please him later that night (like she had the three previous nights).

...

Big Mac awoke the next day to the peacefully slumbering face of his Jifar.  He carefully climbed off her as to not wake her, and then slipped into the shower.  A glance out the bathroom window told him it was about noon by the time he was done.  He gazed longingly at her glorious body as he snuck from the room.

"Clean your room sir?" asked the griffoniness maid as she pushed the cart by.

He glanced up and realized it was Agent GG in disguise.

"E-yup," he said softly, "and keep an eye an all on mah sweetums while yer at it."

She nodded as he let her cart and all into the room.  He looked up and down the hall to make sure nopony was watching, and he saw none.  Then he straightened his lapels before he went on his way.  After all, he had a dragon to meet.

"Oddball," said a familiar voice, "Tell me the package is ready for delivery."

He stepped up to the window to see Gold Talon talking to a really large and muscular griffon wearing a bowler hat.  The one he assumed was Oddball simply nodded back.

"Excellent," he replied, "Make sure it's ready for delivery.  After all, we should really mine our own business."

He ducked back when he saw Oddball starting to turn his head in his direction.  Continuing on his way, he made it to the open cafeteria style dining room where is was expecting to meet his contact.  He had to be careful about his comments in public, but he weaved his way to a seat with its back to Agent S-D.

"Got anythin?" he asked without looking.

"Don't look," he replied, "but reach down between your legs.  There's something there for you.  A note inside will explain everything."

He reached down to grab an odd ink pen from him.  Something with a fine wooden case and gold finishings.  Taking it up, he quietly slipped it into one of his pants pockets before standing up and wandering over to the service line.  Spike stood and walked out, so he figured that's all he needed to do right now.  He loaded his tray with baked apples, apple tarts, apple strudel and a tall cool glass of apple juice.  He was a big eater, after all.

...

Jifar awoke to some strange feelings.  There was something in her mouth that was large, round and rubber.  It was strapped about her head.  But when she tried to take it off, she realized that her arms were bound tightly behind her back.  Her legs were tied crosswise so that she could close them, or shield her mareslit in any way.  But she was limited by the fact she was blindfolded, although she was aware that somepony was laying next to her.  There was a beak nibbling at her earlobe.  She began to squirm and struggle as she tried to get loose, but she was so well tied that she could hardly move in any direction.  Then she realized that there was something long tied to her legs that went right up into her maregina, and it was vibrating strongly inside her.  A large plug was in her butt hole as well.

"Mmmppphhh," she protested into the gag, "MMMPPPHHH!"

A pair of taloned fingers began to stroke and tug at her erect clit, making her tingle all over.  It made her arch her back as she was driven closer to orgasm, and yet she realized at the same time that somepony had also tied her motherly tits together so that they wouldn't roll to the sides of her chest.  She wondered how long she had been like this, as she was already feeling her pussy hot and dripping wet.

The nibbling stopped as she felt a gently breeze into her ear, which made her ear flap as well as her whole body shiver.  Yet she rolled her head further away, giving her unknown assailant even easier access to her ear.  The beak resumed nibbling at her earlobe.

Persistent stroking of her clit was driving her crazy inspite of her wishes to the contrary.  Her clit was larger than most ponies mainly by the fact that she was just so much larger than most mares, so her clit felt large in comparison.  With the juices from her own pussy, the talons just slipped and slided over it while still giving it a firm stroking.

"Mmmm..." she moaned, "Mmmm..."  She found that she was slowly losing her will to resist cumming.  Her body was at the mercy of her unknown assailant.  But thoughts of Big Mac made her marshal her thoughts and renew her struggle to break loose.  She flexed her arms and legs hard even as she bent her back almost to what felt like a breaking point.

But the beak shushed her as it blew in her ear.  Then talons stroked her forehead softly and her clit even more firmly.  It made her slow down when she realized that she was going into a hard long orgasm.  She could almost feel her juices squirting from her mareslit onto the bed below.  Tugging on her clitoris stretched her climax from one minute to the next.

Then the assailant snuggled against her, and she felt breasts against her side.  The unknown agent was a griffoniness.  A rubber tube was forced into the back of her mouth, and she felt some kind of fluid being poured down it.  It was back far enough that there was no way to avoid having all of it wind up in the giraffe's stomach.  The fluid stream lasted for a long while before it stopped and the tube was removed.

Her breasts began to tingle, and then her nipples hardened even as she felt them loading up with milk.  Minutes passed as they grew heavier and heavier, and yet the bound boobs were still unable to part.  It seemed like a minute before her nips were iron hard cones, and then she felt the beak begin nursing on one of them even as her tongue teased it.  Milk gushed into the beak as the nipple was suckled in a bird-like way.

And she flashed back to the mines when her engorged breasts where nursed by hungry pups until she climaxed repeatedly, even though the poor pups never had an idea how they were affecting her.  They were totally innocent.

She was snapped back to the present when the beak gave her nipple a sharp squeeze and tug.

...

After eating, Big Macintosh went off to the bathroom.  He locked himself in a stall before opening the pen and withdrawing the note from within.

The gold bar has been sent to the front desk instead of to your room, but about this pen.  It had black ink that flows whenever the tip is pressed down.  We're not sure if it even needs refills.  It should also magically improve your handwriting.  Twisting the pen at the tip once turns it to "invisible ink", and another twist turns it back.  The message only appears when soaked in water bearing sea salt.  Twisting it in the other direction two full turns activates a magical tracking signal, and we shall send the cavalry to wherever you might be.  ONLY USE THIS IN A DIRE EMERGENCY.  Furthermore, the pen has a single knock-out dart loaded alongside the quill.  To fire it, just put it in you mouth like a cigar and bite down.  Leave the clip facing upwards as your sights.  Lastly, the quill is an armor piercing tip which can split steel, so it can be used as a weapon of the last resort.  If you read as fast as I think, then this note will self-destruct in 5 seconds.

He flushed the note down the toilet and quickly stepped out.  Straightening his tie, he quickly went out before there was a thump under the floor.

"Oh sorry," said the keythong in the next stall, "I gotta lay of those refried beans."

He smiled as he stepped into the hall.  While he was sorely tempted to go back to his room for a quickie with Jifar, he figured he would let her sleep in today.  Besides, there wasn't much time left before his meeting with Gold Talon.  He rushed off to the front desk to gather the gold bar (hopefully discreetly wrapped) that was left for him there.

(24) In Good Graces

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Once he had retrieved the gold bar from the desk, he took his key and made his way up to the room indicated by the tag.  He realized if the suite wasn't right over his room, it was surely close.  He knocked first, but when nopony responded, he inserted the key and unlocked the door.  Opening the door cautiously, he looked in and saw none apparently waiting for him.  So he strode inside.

It was definitely an expensive suite judging by the furnishings.  As much finery as he had ever seen before outside of the Palace at Canterlot.  He figured everything in the room was silk, silver or redwood.  Two chairs sat kitty corner with a small round table between them, and a silver bucket containing an expensive looking bottle.  Walking over, he looked down to see it was imported champagne, and probably something really expensive.  It was chilling in fresh ice.  Next to the pail was two tall crystal stemmed glasses that were perfectly clear.  In fact, in the right light, one wouldn't see them at all.

He sat down, as he figured he was supposed to wait for Gold Talon or one of his representatives to come meet him.  Looking at the bucket, he wondered if it would be rude to start without his host.  But then he figured it would be polite to wait.  Besides, he wasn't really all that big on sparkling alcohol.  Then he wondered if he ever actually tried anything like that.  He remembered that there was some at the celebration of Twilight's ascension from Alicorn Princess to the new Celestial Element Alicorn Princess.  It wasn't really all that impressive, but he could drink some just to be polite.

But the contemplation was interrupted as the bathroom door opened, and a mare wearing a really slinky and shiny gold dress slinked out.  The gold Lamé hardly covered her mare bits at all, and she had a fair sized rack that needed covering.  He blinked as she walked over to him, her hips tipping back and forth like it was the best thing she could do in the world.  Well, it did get his attention.

"Who might you be?" he asked as he tried to sound smooth.

"Oh," she replied in sultry tones, "That's not really important.  Mister Gold Talon asked me to keep you company until he arrives."

"Thoughtful, isn't he?"

"Indeed," she purred as she just plopped her flank down sideways across his lap.

"And I suppose this is included?" he asked as she looped her arms about his neck.

She answered by kissing his neck.

"I'll have you know I'm happily married," he said as he squirmed from her sucking kiss.

"That's precious," she purred into his ear, "I hope it lasts as long as you want it to."

"Kind of you to say," he said, "I must say that dress looks really... pretty."

"Funny," she replied, "Most stallions think it looks even better on the floor beside their bed."

"Ah'm sure they do."

"You don't?"

"Well, ah'm here for business, sugar-cube," he answered, "Business with Mister Gold Talon.  Not for fun."

"You're so stern and serious," she replied as she traced his jaw line with her pointer fingertip.

He nodded as he looked into her eyes.

"But if you want to see me later," she purred, "I'm available.  They say I'm really good with turning the spice up in three ways."

He gulped as he replied, "Ah'll keep that all in mind, sugar-cube."

"My my," she said as her hand went to feeling his chest and stomach muscles, "You certainly feel like... the full package deal."

"That's kind of ya to say so," he answered with a slight blush.

...

Agent GG awoke with a slight headache.  She was really fizzy about what happened recently, as she realized that someone had stripped her, stuck a ball gag in her beak, blindfolded her, and tied her down to a heavy wooden chair.  Then she remembered coming into Sir Macintosh's room.  She saw Jifar bound nude on the bed, but when she moved past the entrance to the kitchen area, somepony jumped her and clamped a wet cloth over her beak even as her arms and wings were pinned down to her sides.  Even as she struggled in vain, she could smell the sweet vapors invading her nose.  She didn't have time to hold her breath.  The fumes overwhelmed her as she passed out.  The attacker had to be fast if they slipped into the room, hogtied Jifar, and then hid in the kitchen even as she was passing Big Macintosh in the hallway.

She could hear muffled moans and pants from nearby that she was pretty sure was Jifar, so she was most likely still trussed up as she was when the griffoniness first saw her on the bed.  The way she was carrying on, someone was either playing with her or mating with her energetically.  She blushed because just remembering how hot the giraffe looked bound like she was was a rather fierce turn on for Gilda.  But the attacker said nothing.  She could only hear another pony breathing in about the same area as Jifar was.

Thinking her erotic thoughts was making her hot and wet.  She couldn't help but wonder what she would be doing with Jifar if she was the one who hogtied her instead of the mysterious attacker.  Her massive breasts.  Those broad foalbearing hips.  She could totally see how Big Mac was so into the exotic beauty.  Her struggles to escape from the chair only rubbed her pussy against the silk fabric making her feelings even stronger.  Each muffled moan from Jifar was louder than the one before, and it was driving her crazy in her own mind.  Even her bare nipples were responding to her erotic thoughts.

It seemed like forever had passed before the bound griffoniness was cumming onto the seat.  She threw her head back as far as the chair allowed as the feeling swept over her body like a giant wave.  The puddle of her own juices formed under her griffonslit, and she wondered if it would stain the silk.  But then somepony straddled her lap as she finished cumming, and realized that they were facing her directly.  Judging by the fur and feathers against her, she couldn't have been much more dressed than either her or Jifar was.  Talons stroked her beak even as she felt bare breasts pressed against her own.  The attacker was most likely a griffoniness like her.  It slid down her chest where it grabbed her left breast and began to fondle it hotly.  She could feel her nipple being squeezed between her clawed fingers.

The other talon gripped the back of her head, pulling it to one side as a beak nibbled at her now exposed throat.  The tip of the beak and the tongue were being used to erotically preen her white neck feathers.  She could feel the cool dampness of the preening oil she left behind as it seeped down to her skin.  Being treated so was turning her on hotly all over again in spite of her wishes to the contrary.  Her captor shifted slightly so she could rub her pussy against the top of Gilda's thigh.  It seemed she was getting off on doing this to her as well.

...

"Ah, you came," said Gold Talon as he opened the door and looked at Big Macintosh with the mare in his lap.

"Of course," he said as he rubbed the mare's back, "and I hope you're as serious about making some gold as I am."

"I'm glad that you're interested in partnership," he replied as he walked closer.  The manservant called Oddball was on his heels once he came in.

"Serious enough to prove ah have some stake in this," he said as he pulled out the gold bar and set it on the table.

He walked over, picked it up, and looked it over as he said, "A gold bar from Celestia's personal gold stash, I see.  The stamp indicates it's about 100 years old.  The Princess must think highly of you to give you this.  I'm surprised she didn't make you a higher level noble than a knight."

Thinking quick, he replied, "The Princess didn't want tah show too mucha gratitude all at once."

"Diplomatic," he said back, "Giving you a knighthood and gold bars so the other Nobles wouldn't get too jealous of your rise in status."

He nodded as if her fully understood what Gold Talon was saying.

"You must have performed some service for her," he replied as he placed the bar back down.

"Yah save the kingdom once and they're grateful," he replied.

"I'm glad you are ready to make an investment," said Talon, "But that isn't needed right now.  I'll let you know when I'm ready to... invest that for you.  When things fall into place, your returns on the gold shall be many fold."

So he took back the gold bar and pocketed it.  Gold Talon took the seat next to him.  He blinked as a nude griffoniness strutted from the bathroom to take her place on his lap.  She was the curviest one he had seen to date, and she likewise sat crosswise on his lap as she draped an arm about his shoulders.

"Tell me more about your Princesses.  I've heard that you have four of them.  I'm curious about how a Queen rates lower than them."

"Well, it's a long story an all," he replied as he scratched the back of his head.

"We have time," he said as he took the champagne bottle from the silver bucket.

"Okay," he began, "Princess Celestia is kinda the senior Princess in Equestria.  She's ruled the land for more than one thousand years..."

Prodded and Pierced

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Jifar resumed her struggles to escape once her attacker turned their attention elsewhere.  With her eyes covered, she used her ears and nose to tell her that there was two more in the room with her.  They didn't smell like ponies, but smelled enough alike to be fairly sure they were both griffons.  But only one was moving.  The other sounded as if they were tied down in some way as well.  The muffled sounds and smells indicated that perhaps whoever they were might well be in a bind like her own.  The sound of ropes against flesh was rather clear.

Then the phone rang, and somepony picked up from next to the bed.  While they never spoke, she could hear the voice on the other side well enough to tell that it was deep and male.  Unfortunately, the accent was thick and she couldn't hear every word clearly.  The few words and phrases she did catch, such as "Big Macintosh", "gold" and "prisoner" were enough to make her quite nervous.  Then the phone was hung up.

Much to her surprise, she felt something sharp like a claw pierce her earlobe, felt blood being cleaned from it, and then something cold and metal being inserted through the just created hole.  Something was tightened until she almost felt like something was binding the soft tissue in her earlobe.  A few seconds later, the process was repeated with the other ear.  The attacker's body rubbed against her at times before it pulled away.

A few minutes passed as something was fussed with nearby.  She could hear the sounds of struggles not unlike her own.

Then she heard a voice in her head.  'You were attacked by the maid while you were in bed.  With a chloroform soaked cloth, she covered your face until you succumbed to the fumes.  When you awoke, you were hogtied and being sexually tortured by the griffoniness deviant.  She attacked you on her own.  There was nopony else in here with you.  That you are certain of.'

In spite of the fact she knew that was not what happened, the voice in her head seemed too convincing to resist.  Minutes passed as those thoughts in her head seemed to become a new truth that she couldn't deny.  Then she felt a griffoniness crawl on top of her.  A beak nibbled at her throat even as she felt a few talons as they fingered her pussy hotly.  Another talon stroked her throbbing nipple even as her milk squirted all over it as well as her motherly breast.

Somewhere in there, she heard somepony slip out the patio door.  There was a rustle of feathers as they glided away from the porch outside their room.

The talons thrusts in and out of her pussy energetically, making her both sopping wet and excited all over again.  She could feel the nipples of another brushing against her sides as her breast was groped and her pussy fingered.  Her tingling nipple alone was driving her towards the edge again, but the fingering of her pussy and the nibbling at her throat made her even hotter and aroused.

The phone rang again, but nopony answered.  It rang a dozen times before the caller stopped trying.

"Uh..." moaned a voice softly in her ear.  It sounded familiar, "What am I doing?  What's wrong with me?"  It sounded like Gilda's voice.

'Please let me go,' she thought, 'This isn't right you know.'

"UHHH..." she moaned louder as if struggling, "NO!!  I'm raping you!!  That's what I'm doing!!  I'm gonna make that stallion pay me gold or ELSE!!"

'That can't be the real you,' she thought, 'Not what agent Gilda would do.'

"You better hope he pays," she hissed, "or your throat goes away, and this fine bed is going to be painted with your blood!"

She heard the door being unlocked, and then the door opened.

"Honeybuns!" he called, "I had a real nice chat with...  GILDA?!  What all are ya doin with mah wifey?!"

"STAY BACK!!" she screeched as she felt the talons leave her breast and clutch her throat, "YOU WANT THIS STUPID COW BACK, YOU BETTER GIVE ME THAT GOLD BAR IN YOUR POCKET RIGHT NOW!!"

"What's gotten inta ya?" he asked in dismay.

"I'M NOT JOKING!!"

"Ah asked ya ta keep mah sugar-cube safe an ya DO THIS?!"

"FOAL!!" she hissed, "I'M DOING THIS FOR THE GOLD AND NOTHING ELSE!!  I COUNT TO THREE, AND IF THERE'S NO GOLD BAR, THE COW BITCH BLEEDS OUT ALL OVER THIS BED!!"

"Look, I ain't got in on me!" he said, "It's at the desk!  I'll write you a check so you can go get it no problem!"

"FINE!!" she hissed, "BUT BE QUICK ABOUT IT!!"  The talons tightened on her throat, and she felt trickles of blood on her hide as the tips of the claws pierced her hide there.

"Ah'm just gettin some paper here from the desk," he said as he moved.

"NO TRICKS OR SHE DIES!"

She heard the rustle of paper, and then he said, "So who all to I say is gonna pick this up?"

"Agent..." she hissed, "I mean... Gilda!"

"Aw, the cap is stuck," he said, "gimme just a sec here."

"AH!" she screeched, "You shot me!  You bastard!  Now the bitch cow... uhhh... what's wrong with me?"

The griffoniness slumped on top of Jifar's body.  A moment later, the body was dragged from atop her.  Then she felt the ropes binding her being untied.  She laid still and quite until she felt the blindfold and ball gag being removed.  She opened her eyes and sat up to see the nude Gilda bound securely to the chair near the bed.

"IS YA ALRIGHT, SUGAR-CUBE?!" he asked with alarm.

"I was attacked by the maid while I was in bed.  With a chloroform soaked cloth, she covered my face until I succumbed to the fumes.  When I awoke, I was hogtied and being sexually tortured by the griffoniness deviant.  She attacked me on her own.  There was nopony else in here with her.  That I am certain of," she said dryly.

"All that matter ta me is that yer alright!" he exclaimed as her hugged her tightly.

"I am well now that you are here," she replied as she hugged him back just as firmly.

"Whoa," he said, "Yer boobies are all fulla milk."  He was looking down at the milk that had squirted on his fine black suit.

"I don't know," she said, "She must have drugged me while I was knocked out."

Agent R-D slipped into the room, and looked around as she said, "What the hay is going on in here?"

"Yer sicko partner here just kidnapped mah wifey an threatened ta kill her if'n I didn't give the gold bar!"

"I know her better than that!" she replied, "That's just something she wouldn't do!"

"Ah saw it with mah own two eyes!" he snapped back, "She was gonna RIP HER THROAT OUT!!"

"Okay okay," she replied quickly, "I guess the stress of this mission finally got to her!  But Jifar's alright, isn't she?"

"No thanks ta her!" he snapped as he looked at the bound griffoniness.

"Fine," she said, "I'll call Spike and he'll call in some operatives to take her away.  We'll keep her locked up until we know what's going on with her.  We'll make it look like it's the local guards doing this, so it won't arouse suspicions...  I just don't know what's wrong with her.  This isn't like her at all."

"Ah had ta shoot her with the dart in this here pen," he said.

"Okay," she replied, "It will take me just a minute to reload that for you."  Taking the pen from his hand, she opened up and inserted a new dart as he watched.

"Uh... my head," moaned Jifar from the bed.

"Ya been through a lot, sugar-cube," he answered, "Git yerself some rest an all.  Maybe that'll set ya right again."

She nodded as she laid back down.

Agent R-D was on the phone speaking to somepony quietly.

"Is everyfeather alright in here?" asked a sweet woman's voice.  He looked up to see a black griffoniness' head looking in the ajar door with shining blue eyes.

"Uh, who all might ya be?"

"Pardon me," she replied, "My name is Amore.  Pussy Amore.  I work for Mister Gold Talon.  He asked me to come and see you.  I have a message for you.  I'm not interrupting a moment here, am I?"

"No," he said quickly, "A crazy maid attacked mah wifey.  It's all under control.  Now what all is yer message?"

"An opportunity has arisen," she replied, "He wants to speak with you about it tomorrow at the same time.  One that is mutually beneficial to both of you.  He suggested you bring back the gold bar as well."

"Then tell him ah'll be there," he replied as Agent R-D hung up the phone.

"Very well," she said, "I shall inform him of such."  Then she closed the door behind her.

A moment passed before he muttered, "Somethin stinks here, and it ain't mah month old boxers."

"Your boxers are a month..."

"Make sure Miss Gilda is put somewhere safe," he snapped, "Ah don't wanna see her doin nuthin else nutty."

"You got it."

Pussy Amore

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

After removing her from the hotel, Golda was taken down to a waiting ambulance.  They strapped her fully down to the gurney in case she should wake up and start her struggles once more.  Spike and Bakabaka were at her side, looking her over for any physical sign of her sudden change of behavior.  While she was blindfolded for security reasons, her beak was left untied in case she felt like talking.

"What made her go so off the rail?" asked Agent S-D.

"I do not really know," she replied, "what compelled her to act so."

"Compel you say?"

"But how can you possibly tell," she asked, "if she's under some kind of spell?"

"Not really," he replied, "but one of the Princesses can surely tell what's going on."

The maid nodded.

So Spike turned to the driver and said, "Take us to the Ponyville Train Station quickly.  I need to know when the next train that's leaving for Canterlot as soon as possible.  We need to get Gilda there as quietly as possible."

"You got it, Agent S-D," replied the stallion as they drove away.

"I'll send a message to the Princess so she'll know we're coming," he said to Bakabaka.

"That sounds like an idea good," she replied, "Doing the smart thing as we should."

...

Meanwhile, Big Macintosh stayed by his wife as she slept peacefully.  He thought about what she said as he held her hand tightly.

"I'm sure she'll be alright," said Agent R-D as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"She kinda spoke funny a while ago," he said as he looked in Dash's eyes.

"I'm sure she's under a lot of stress," she replied, "After all, she was betrayed by somepony she trusted.  I imagine time shall heal all wounds."

He nodded.

"I've never heard her speak about getting her talons on gold like this.  It's just not like her."

"I reckon so."

"Agent S-D will figure out if somepony's been messing with her mind.  There's many ways to do that if you know magic."

"Somethin the Shaman would surely know bout."

"But what would he gain by interfering with griffons..."

"Ah have tha feelin that it probably has somethin ta do with gold."

"I suppose that makes sense," she replied.

"Ah guess I'll find out what tha deal is tomorrow when ah see him."

"You should be careful," she replied, "If he's been messing with your wife, who knows what he's planning for you."

"Caution is mah middle name."

"No it's not."

"Aw yer no fun."

"I don't know what the others are thinking," she replied, "but we both know you're in way over your mane."

"Ah don't think ah'm doing that bad."

"Gilda and I were trained for this kind of work," she answered, "even if it didn't... go according to plan... this time..."

"It's too late to back out now," he replied.

"I suppose that's true... But I have this pretty bad feeling regarding Gold Talon."

"Ah already know he's bad news, sugar-cube," he replied, "Ah'll be keepin mah guard up."

"Just remember, Gold Talon isn't the only dangerous one.  He has a number of skilled and aggressive lackeys' working for him as well, like that Oddball keythong.  I've heard rumors that he's some kind of trained killer or assassin working for him.  He just hasn't been caught in the act as of yet."

"She is jus so beautiful," he sighed as he looked the slumbering form of Jifar over.

"I can't really argue with that," replied Dash as she also looked the sleeping giraffe over.

"Ah'm shore a lucky stallion."

"Oh yeah," she replied, "and you have yourself a pretty hot Princess bride too."

He nodded.

...

Pussy Amore returned to Gold Talon's room to report as he had ordered.  She tapped out the secret code: knock-knocka-knock-knock-*puase*-knock-knock.

'That's really childish,' she thought as she waited for Oddball to open the door.

"The Master is expecting you," said the massive keythong as he opened the door.

She nodded as she walked in.  Even as she walked before him, she knew what was coming and really hated it.

"Now now, my dear," he said as he ogled her with his eyes, "You know what I expect."

"Yes Master," she replied as she slowly began to strip for him.

"Now report," he added as he leered at her.

"The cow has been ringed," she began, "I had to fix a nosy griffoniness maid as well.  It now looks like she attacked the cow for the gold he was carrying, so I'm sure she's rotting in a cell by now."

"So you had to use both of them?" he asked.

She nodded.

"And you placed them both in the standard places?"

"Yes," she replied, "One set is on the cow's earlobes, and the other is piercing the maid's netherlips just below her clit sheath."

"Excellent," he growled as he gestured for the now naked griffoniness to come closer.  Then he expectantly patted his large lap.

'Oh how I hate this part,' she thought as she mounted his lap sideways and looped an arm about his neck.  He responded by putting his talon over her far breast and groping it's mass rather roughly.  She could feel her poor nipple being squeezed between his fingers, making her slightly wince in pain.  But it was a feeling that she was growing used to by now.

"Thank you for touching me, Master," she moaned obediently as she thought, 'OW!!  Watch that grip, you son of a @$$!!'

"You are one of the few lackeys of mine who never disappoints," he purred into her earhole as his other talon slipped down between her legs.

'I'm beginning to wonder if the punishment is any worse than the reward,' she wondered as he started fingering her giffonslit hotly.  But his fumbling grope of her pussy reminded her of something very important:  That she had a pair of mind manipulating piercings of her own netherlips at both ends of her sex beneath the clit sheath and just above the space between her slit and her anus.  A simple word from him was all it would take to reactivate the slave protocols, so she surely knew better than giving him any undo beak or trying to disobey him openly.  Even in griffon society, use of such control was unlawful at least in the open, but Gold Talon knew authorities that he had paid to look the other way.

He leaned in to use his beak to preen her neck feathers erotically as well.  "You know those control earrings are expensive, my dear," he whispered into her earhole, "I'm going to have to punish you for wasting my gold like this."

"I figured it would be harder to explain having a maid with her throat slit bleeding all over the floor, Master," she whispered back.

"And for that reason," he replied, "I shall only punish you lightly this time."  He turned to his servant and said, "Oddball, you shall 'play' with Miss Amore when I'm done with her."

"You are as gracious as ever, Master," she panted as he fingered and groped her while she was thinking, 'You pompous arrogant @$$!'

"Use the cow to keep tabs on the agent husband," he growled into her earhole, "I don't want any surprises... this time."

"I'm so sorry about Marelin, Master," she whined as she thought, 'How long must I pay for your mistake then, jerkwad?!'

"It won't be much longer... before I forgive you."

'You've already punished me for TWO YEARS!!'

(27) The Fort of Hard Knocks

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Big Macintosh didn't sleep very well, but not for the usual reasons.  First, he was still concerned about what set off Gilda.  Second, it was the first night in weeks that Jifar didn't at least want to cuddle to sleep, let alone make more love to him.  Third, he was still fairly in the dark about what Gold Talon was planning for him and his gold bar.  In fact, she seemed to sleep solidly all night when she would normally have gotten up at least once to get a glass of milk or some other reason (like feeling horny again).  But she kept changing her speech pattern almost every time she spoke, and he wasn't ready to question her about it yet.

So when he quietly got out of bed the next morning, he was quite content to let her sleep in a few more hours.  A quick shower and dressing in his black suit prepared him for his meeting with Gold Talon once he had some breakfast.  He didn't see Agent R-D around, but that made sense since the two of them shouldn't been seen together so much without arousing somepony's suspicions.

To make sure he didn't disturb Jifar's sleep, he went down to the hotel restaurant to order something to eat and drink.  It was lucky that meals were included with the room, room service or no.  If he wasn't already on edge, he might not have noticed how he was being observed from a table a few tables away from him by a girffoniness that he knew.  It took him a moment to place her name, but remembered that she called herself Pussy Amore.  She was the one who delivered a message for him from Gold Talon after he caught Gilda threatening his wife for his gold bar.  While she was pretending not to be paying attention to him, she seemed to be glancing in his direction each time the corner of his vision moved to where he could see her.

He noticed that the pretty griffoniness was alone at the table, so it only seemed natural that while pretending to go back to the breakfast bar line, he simply sat down his tray and his flank at her table.  She was still pretending that she wasn't paying attention to him until he cleared his throat.

"Howdy Miss Amore," he said amiably.

"Sir Big Macintosh," she replied, "Fancy meeting you here."

"Shore is a nice place they all have here," he said as he looked about.

"Oh, I've seen better in the time I've been travelling with Gold Talon," she answered off-hand.

"Yep," he said amiably, "Ah reckon ah ain't got around much outsida Ponyville."

"We came through there on the way here from the train station," she replied, "The train station here isn't finished yet.  It certainly has... a rustic charm to it."

"Mighty kind of ya ta notice," he smirked.

"So how is your wife doing?"

"Mah sweetums has been... under alota stress lately," he replied.

"I heard that some deviant maid tried to hold her for ransom," she said as she laid her talon across his hand.

He nodded as he replied, "Well she didn't get nothin from meh but a trip to a cell."

"You sound a bit... unsettled about the whole thing."

"Well, this is the first time that she and I didn't... oh, why am I boring you with mah problems?"

"Oh, you aren't boring me," she replied as she squeezed his hand, "I'm used to being around powerful males... and their needs."

"What about you, sugar-cube?"

"What about me?" she asked as the light from the window glinted off her eye.

"Don't yah have... yer own needs?"

"I'm satisfied in my service to Gold Talon," she replied, "There isn't really anything else I need right now."

"Ah used ta be the same bout Sweet Apple Acres," he answered, "afore I became a knight an all.  Afore I knew more bout the world than just Ponyville.  Ah'd like to see wut the world can offer meh."  He laid his other hand over hers as he continued, "and ah have the feeling you want more than just servitude."

"I can't leave Gold Talon until he releases me from by contract," she replied softly, "and he's not likely to do that anytime soon."

He glanced up at the wall clock as he said, "Well lookata time.  It's almost time fer mah meetin with Mister Gold Talon.  Perhaps we all can speak again later?"

"I'm sure you'll see me again soon," she replied.

He stood, bowed to the griffoniness, bussed his own dishes and then left the room.

'Well there goes an interesting stallion,' she thought, 'Maybe he's the one who can set me free.'

...

As Big Macintosh approached the room for the meeting, the one he gave the room key for, he paused when he heard the door opening.  He slipped out of view when he noticed that Goldrennette slinking out of the room.  In fact, he did seem to be acting suspicious about being seen, but fortunately he went down the hallway away from him and his hiding place.  While he was curious about what he was doing there, it wasn't really the time or place to question him about it.

When he tapped on the door, he was met by the large and imposing keythong called Oddball.  Without a word, he smiled, tipped his hat, and gestured for the red Earth stallion to follow him inside.  As he walked in, he noticed a few naked griffoninesses scattered about the chairs and love seats, one of which happened to be Miss Pussy Amore.  He figured she must have flown up to the balcony in order to get to the room before he did.  Wings, he realized, must be rather convenient at times, even though he was quite content to live without them.

"Good morning, Sir Big Macintosh," he said, "I trust you brought... your investment with you?"

He pulled the gold bar from his pocket long enough for Gold Talon to see it.

"Very good," he replied, "I was concerned.  Rumors that some unruly deviant maid held you wife hostage.  I was afraid she might have stolen your gold."

"Yes," Big Mac answered, "but she didn't get away with nuthin.  Probably rottin in a cell by now."

"Yes.  Such deviant behavior shouldn't be coddled or tolerated in any species."

"Y'all said ya had an investment for meh?"

"Ah.  Straight to the business at hand.  I like that."

Big Mac raised an eyebrow as Pussy Amore stood, slunk over to him, and then settled herself down across his legs sideways.  She draped an arm around his shoulders as she rested her head against his collar bone.  But Gold Talon acted as if he hadn't even noticed the obvious.

"I believe with your status as a Knight of this realm, you can aid me greatly in brokering a mutually beneficial arrangement between myself, the dog controlled mine, and the rulers of Equestria.  The dogs control a large supply of gold, and it's not doing them any good to just keep hording it underground when they obviously have much better uses for it.  It's simply a matter of... illuminating their needs and their assets to them."

He nodded.

"I've also noticed that their bitches are well trained and quite submissive.  They could perform well as servants in other countries where... the 'independance' of a female... is less valued, shall we say?"  The last part he said as he looked at Pussy Amore, but she was pretending to just be looking at Sir Big Macintosh.

He nodded again.

"And I have several premium products I wish to exchange with the dogs, and eventually the rest of Equestria as well, in return for these goods and assets.  I have heard that you have had extensive dealings with both the Diamond Dogs and your Princesses.  You can help me increase the value of your investment by smoothing things over between the two groups.  I've heard that they haven't... always got along, shall we say?"

"Ah reckon ah can surely help ya out," he said with a grin as he put his arm about her back and wings.

"Excellent," he replied, "I had a feeling that you had a head for business about you."

"Ah know what I want," answered the red Earth stallion as he looked at the breasts of Pussy Amore, "and ah always get whut ah want... eventually."

She smiled as she took his hand and placed it over her breast that was more distant from him.

"Ah yes," he smirked, "The rich and the powerful have our little needs, don't we?"

He nodded.

"Well it would be rude of me not to share... my hospitality.  Would you like to use the guest bedroom for a little while?  I'm sure my able breast... bodied assistant would love to make you feel more welcome... in this deal.  I realize that reciprocation is out of the question considering the ordeal that your poor..."

"Of course," he replied as he stood up with Pussy Amore in his arms, "right kinda ya ta understand the situation an all."

He removed the gold bar from his pocket and set it before Gold Talon.

"We can continue our little chat when you're done," he replied.

As he carried the griffoniness towards the guest room, he noticed a couple of the other naked maiden in the room stand and make their way towards Gold Talon as he beckoned to them with one of his claws.  But as he reached towards the door handle, he could just hear Gold Talon speaking.

"Fetch the map of the Diamond Dog's mine-fort," he told Oddball, "i want to make sure of the best route to get to their finished gold bar reserves."

Miss Amore and Me

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Big Macintosh carried the nude Pussy Amore into the bedroom, laid her out on the bed and closed the door behind them.

"Yah don't have ta do this, sugar-cube," he said as he came back.

"Normally I don't," she replied honestly, "But somehow... you aren't like the keythongs that Gold Talon normally makes me service."

He walked over to the bed as he said, "And ah have the feelin that ya know somethin about what he's really plannin down atta Diamond Dog's mine."

"Oh he's said a few things when he thought I couldn't hear them," she purred, "Him and that giant goon he calls Oddball."

"Please tell me," he said as he sat on the bed beside her.

"Make me squeal in delight and I'll tell you," she said as she placed one hand over her breast and the other slipped down between her legs.

"Are ya sure that's really what ya want, sugar-cube?"

She nodded.

"It's lucky my sweetums is so understandin of this kinda thing," he said as he started undoing his belt.

"There's... something going on with her..." she said slowly.

"What?!" he asked as he grabbed her shoulders.

"I can't say," she replied, "If I speak about it, I shall be magically punished in ways... I don't want to think about...  I swear.  The mines are another matter... he can't punish me for something... he doesn't know I'm aware of..."

"Sounds complicated," he said as he moved to the end of the bed.

"Oh, my life is complicated, all right," she replied as she watched him get his cock 'into the mood' with his hand.  Spreading her legs, she waited from him to make his move against her.

"Don't ya wanna leave him?"

"I'm under a magical contract," she panted as she watched, "Only HE can release me from it."  She used one of her claws to stroke her clit as it brushed over the gold piercing just underneath.

"Ah wouldn't be a gentlestallion if'n I let this situation stand," he replied as he gripped her thighs and pulled her closer towards the end of the bed.

"Why do you care about my circumstances?" she asked, "Why do you care about me?"

He rubbed his cock head against her already damp pussy as he replied, "Ah care about alla the mares an griffoninesses... even tha bitches... an surely bout mah wifey."

"You're a rare Knight indeed," she moaned as his cock parted her netherlips.

"If Gold Talon is plannin on messin with the dogs, ah have ta stop him," he panted as he thrust into her, "even if they did things ta meh in the past that weren't... so nice an all."

"All right," she panted, "He's got some gas.  When he pumps it into the mine vents, it should put all the dogs to sleep so he can just waltz in with his keythongs and just clean out all of their gold reserves.  There's these enchanted masks that will keep them from succumbing to the gas themselves."

"He hassa gold fetish, don't he?" he asked as he looked at her gold jewelry and her pussy piercings.

"I wouldn't be surprised."

He thrust in and out of her as he moved faster.  She grunted with each time her was fully inside her.  "We have to be louder," she panted, "Gold Talon must be made to hear how hard we're going at this."

So he just grunted all the louder as she moaned her pleasure aloud.  She used her talons to grab handfuls of the bedsheets.  He watched her breasts bob up and down each time he slapped his loins into her buttocks.  She wrapper her legs about his flanks as she used her legs to pull him into her even harder.

"Do ya want meh ta pull out?" he panted.

"Fill me with your seed," she moaned.

He grunted as he stopped against her and felt his jizz being pumped into her griffonpussy.  When done, he went back to humping her.

"Why not stop?" she panted.

"Ah believe in givin as good as ah get, sugar-cube."

"I've done things for Gold Talon I regret," she panted as she drew closer to climax, "Just leave me to Gold Talon.  I'm nothing but trouble."

"That ain't the way I trot, sugar-cube."

"But he's dangerous.  So many have died at his command.  So many have been killed to satisfy his greed and advance his ambitions.  I'm surprised he's just going to put the dogs to sleep before he robs them blind.  I bet he's going to steal as many of their bitches as he can to be sold on the slave market."

"Another reason to stop him in his tracks."

She arched her back as she came into her own climax hard.  Minutes passed as he humped her to keep her cumming as long as he could.

Meanwhile, back at the Ranch... uh, Castle

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

After a long day of her royal duties, Celestia was ready to take it easy.  She put out the 'Do Not Disturb Unless It's the End of the World' sign, slipped in for a nice long soak in a tub full of warm water, rose oil and peach blossoms and then slipped on a towel to travel to her canopied bed.  There was a Deluxe Copy of the latest Daring Do novel waiting for her, and she planned to read it until she fell asleep.  As she strode towards the bed, she heard a rustle from her patio door.  She walked over and noticed it was closed, so she figured the wind was playing tricks.  Walking back to the bed, she removed the towel, folded it and placed it at the end of the bed so she knew it would go to the laundry the first thing.

She caught a glint in the corner of her eyes, so she turned her head and looked to see her dresser mirror showing her own reflection backlit by the moonlight.  With her mammoth breasts and delightful bootie, she knew she was all Princess and then some.  If it wasn't for the Royal Guard, she'd have to beat off potential suitors all day with a really big stick.  It had been like that for more than a thousand years, but she knew deep down that most of them were political marriages that would mainly caused Equestria to merge into somepony else's Kingdom or State, and she wouldn't do that to all the ponies she was responsible for.  Not until she met the one she truly loved, and that hadn't happened yet.

Picking up the book, she wondered what it might be like if she were an adventuring archaeologist instead of a Princess.  Daring Do's life was a constant roller coaster ride of thrills, adventures, romance, saving the world and helping the poor ponies she met along the way.  She knew in her heart she was doing more good as a Princess, but still the idea had much appeal compared to the daily life of the Canterlot Court.

Then she paused to stoop down and fetch another book from under her bed.  From it's little hiding place.  It was her little guilty pleasure.  Her own little fantasy where a Princess is kidnapped multiple times, tied up, sexually teased, almost consensually raped, humped by any number of improvised dildos not to mention large meat sticks that were the real deal, had her naked body used for a buffet table by at least three different groups as she escaped over and over only to be taken again by another group and FINALLY rescued by her Princess Charming.  There was one group of hot lesmarian thieves known as the 'Thieves of the Forty Veils', the hot hunky stallions called the 'Foot Long Rod Squad', the sorcermares of the 'Hot Lesmarians of Starswirl the Fillyspanker' and even the hot stallions from 'the Marefia'.  Then she consents to letting the Prince bang her before he even gets around to untying her.  In fact, the heroine was supposed to be a white alicorn with massive breasts, a shimmering rainbow mane, a really long horn and no sense of modesty at all.  It was an underground best seller called 'The Perils of Pauline Palomino'.  She wondered if the heroine was based on an real mare or Princess.  She always wondered how Princess Pauline Palomino never heard anypony sneaking up behind her with a chloroform soaked cloth in  their hand...

Just as she was admiring the cover art, she felt a wet cloth covering her face as a muscular arm pinned down her wings and arms.  She had not heard or smelled anything out of the ordinary.  Her wild struggles to get loose only caused her to inhale the sweet vapors from the cloth deeply.  Looking in her peripheral vision, she saw a keythong appear from apparently nowhere as he pulled off some kind of invisibility cloak.  In fact, she could see the talons holding her fading back into invisibility as they went behind her.

'They never bothered doing that with Princess Pauline Palomino,' she thought as she grew weak and sleepy.

Her hearing was fading even as she heard one of them say, "The Princess has been taken.  With the Sack of Invisibility, they'll never..."

She couldn't hear any more, and then she was asleep less than a minute later.  Her head went limp, falling back against the chest of the one holding her still.

...

"So did Miss Amore amuse you, Sir Macintosh?" asked Gold Talon as the two of them emerged cleaned and dressed from the suite's guest room.

"Oh indeed," he replied, "So much that ah may wanna just buy her offa'yer claws and make her mah Mistress," he replied with a wink.  He wondered if Pussy Amore might be smiling as she stood to his rear right side.

"Oh, she's so well behaved, trained and attractive," he replied, "I'm sure her contract would cost more gold that it could possibly be worth to you."

"So ya would sell it fer the right price?"

"Certainly," he replied, "But I thought you ponies had something against contractual slavery."

"It ain't slavery, just long term contractual employment with side benefits."

"It's interesting how the so-called civilized nations love to mince words in order to avoid calling another being their slave."

"Well that there is just a bit more edumacated than little ole meh can understand."

"So I can consider part of your investment as a downpayment on Miss Amore's contract?"

"A-yup."

"Well until the full payment is received, she stays with me.  But I promise I won't sell her to any other being in the meantime."

"An that all is totally fair."

"Once the gold of the other investors has been used to buy the supplies we need, I expect it will only be a week or so before I've concluded business with the dog mine, returned here and be ready to split the profits with all of the investors."

"That all sounds like a quick turnaround."

"Indeed.  That's the beauty of this deal."

He turned to Pussy, took her talons in his hands and said, "Until we meet again there, sugar-cube."

"I eagerly look forward to servicing you again, My Lord," she replied with a curtsey.

"In fact, ah'm thinking of havin mah wifey join us fer an excitin three-way."

"You're wife would allow that?" asked Gold Talon behind him.

"Shore. We've already had three ways.  Some of them were even with ah Princess of Equestria."

"Oh? And what Pri..."

"Don't ask meh to say who.  It's mah duty as a Knight ta protect the honor and reputation of noble mareladies."

Gold Talon said "I see" even as Pussy Amore smiled at him.

"I shall be here in the hotel all week," he said as he released her talons and walked towards the door passing Oddball along the way.

(30) Unfair negotiations

by neorenamon

Celestia slowly came around as her head swam.  She felt a bit dizzy as she tried to sit up, but found she was tightly tied down spread eagle against something that felt like a tabletop.  She tried to open her eyes and cry out only to find she was tightly muzzled and blindfolded.  Struggling wildly, she realized she was no match for the heavy leather straps on her wrists, elbows, feet and knees.

Then she heard a heavily magically modified voice say, "Welcome back my dear.  It is not my intent to keep you prisoner for very long.  In fact, you'll be waking up in bed before you know it, thinking all of this was just some kinky dream you had.  But you're going to get some conditioning piercings of solid gold added to your body while you're here.  You should feel honored my dear.  One stud is enough to condition and control the mind of a foal, filly or weak willed mare.  Two are enough for the strongest willed of ordinary mares.  Three are enough to subdue the mind of a great unicorn mage.  But you... you my dear as going to get SEVEN of these delightful adornments added to you."

She winced in pain as they began.  There was no magic or potion to deaden the pain for her.  She felt herself being pierced in both earlobes, the undersides of both areolas, the upper and lower parts of her netherlips and lastly through the skin of her bellybutton.  Each piercing was carefully wiped clean before she could fell the gold studs being inserted through the freshly made holes.

"With all the other piercings you have both public and private, I seriously doubt any of your pony friends will question them even if they do see them, my dear.  But fear not, we're not going to overtly control you.  Controlling Equestria is not really one of our short term goals.  But you are going to be more... open minded... to the Griffon Kingdom's requests.  When the Diamond Dogs come whining to you about their gold reserves being cleaned out, we just want you to tell them that since they aren't YOUR subjects, you feel no obligation to allocate any of the Kingdom's scarce resources to help them with their petty issues.  If any of your agents object, then order them to stand down and butt out of things that do not concern them.  Harshly punish those who aren't deterred by this."

It felt like somepony was penning a new script into her brain.  One she was powerless to resist.  The combined tingling of her new piercings felt as if it were going straight up her spine into her brain.

"Tell me honestly, my dear," cooed the voice as the gag was removed, "What agents are currently sticking their noses in the affairs of Auric Gold Talon?"

She pursed her lips and struggled not to speak.  But the urge to obey was irresistible.  She had to speak and tell the truth.  Even biting her lip only worked for a short while before she blurt out, "Princess Luna and Princess Twilight are helping me monitor you.  Her assistant, Spike the Dragon, is supervising the field agents.  He has Agents Bakabaka, Rainblow Dash and Gilda helping him.  My most direct agent in the field is... is... is..."  She bit down on her lip again.  Her mind struggled so hard to stop herself from speaking any more that she passed out.

...

"Agent S-D?" asked Sir Macintosh as he slipped back into his room.

He noticed that he was looking over the slumbering form of Jifar as he looked back and said, "Yeah?"

"Somethin's big going down with Gold Talon atta Diamond Dogs Mine," he replied, "an ah don't think ah got much time afore he puts his plan inta motion.  Ah gotta sneak into them mines before Gold Talon and figure a way to foil his plans an all."

"Easier said than done, big stallion," he replied, "I don't think the dogs there are going to exactly welcome you with open paws after all."

"Then ah'll just have ta convince them tha wha Gold Talon is plannen fer them issa much worse than anything I dun ta them."

"That's still going to be a tall order.  The Shaman there isn't exactly known for his flexible thinking."

"Whatever it takes, ah gotta git him ta change his mind and protect his kin from that there gas."

"If somepony else was willing to collaborate your story, I'm sure he'd take your warning more seriously."

"Well ah can't just take Gold Talon or Oddball there.  An even if'n I was inclined to kidnap her, ah don't think he would respect Pussy Amore's word than he would any of the bitches he has under himself an all."

"Perhaps if you had something written down?"

"What?  Sneak inta his room an steal some papers?"

"That's what I was thinking."

"Ya gotta make sure that Mister Gold Talon and his goons are distracted so I have enough time to snoop around."

"Oh, I think I can distract him for a while," replied Spike as he twirled his waxed mustache.

"Honey-buns?" moaned Jifar as she slowly came to and her eyes fluttered open.

"Gimme bout two hours to git ready and over to his room afore ya start the full blown distraction.  Ah need at least 15 minutes to be shore ah searched the place from top ta bottom without tearing everythin ta pieces."

"You got it," said Spike as he stood and walked towards the door.

Then he turned to his wife and asked, "Are ya feelin better, sweetums?"

"I'm feeling great when you are at my side," she replied.

"Well ya sound a little horse there, sweetums," he answered, "Maybe a little spirits will help ya feel better.  Then maybe we can... uh... play a little while?"

"My head throbs," she replied, "I am not in the mood for that right now."

He leaned closer and said, "Perhaps ah can git ya some aspirins from tha bathroom cabinet?"

She nodded as he stood.  As he walked towards the bathroom, she quietly got out of bed as she picked up a letter opener.  Stalking up on him, she prepared to stab him in the back.

"Sorry sweetums," he said as he spun and punched her hard in the stomach.  The knife made a glancing cut, splitting the material as it made a shallow slash across his upper arm.  The blow knocker her out even as he caught her in his arms as she started to fall.

Conflict of Interest

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Celestia's head throbbed as she sat up in bed. She was sore in several places and couldn't quite figure out why. Glancing out the balcony, she noticed the moon was still high in the sky. It seemed that Luna was up and performing her own royal duties. But she was parched and needed something to refresh herself. She sat up and looked about. Scratching herself, her fingers brushed across something on her motherly breast. The piercing made her nipple tingle as her fingertips ran into it. She wondered when she got it, and just how sober she was at the time.

Like the time she woke up with Twilight Sparkle's cutie mark tattooed on her "camel toe". Fortunately, she was able to remove that little embarrassment before Luna noticed it in the bath. She feared that little sister never would have let her live that little thing down if she had noticed it.

She wished that she could only remember what brought her into that state. Then she noticed that a book was just under one of her flank cheeks. The book was laying open face down against the sheets. Pulling it up, she noticed that she must have fallen asleep reading her guilty little book. She looked at the top paragraph of the first page she saw.

Princess Pauline was finally free from the ravages of the Foot Long Squad, even though not one of them was actually less than 18 inches. Screwed by seven, she had cum seven times, and felt every one of them in her tender pussy. It was almost a miracle that she was able to cut the ropes binding her wrists on the rough edge of the wooden bedframe while the studly mercenaries were away drinking and bragging about their various 'conquests' of the Princess' totally hot body.

All she had to do was slip out the bedroom window without any of them detecting her. All she had to do was get down the private beach to another pony's bungalow and she would surely be saved. She just thought about the studly Prince that was waiting for her back home. The one she hoped more than anything would come for her on his snow white charger. But she had to bite her lip when her nipple piercings got caught on the window sill and gave them an unexpected jerk.

Looking back tensely, the Princess was relieved to not hear anything more than a belch down the way from the front room. They hadn't heard her, so she resumed her escape. It was a shame that she couldn't even find a hanky to cover herself with, but she was sure that whatever pony she came across would surely understand her need to escape more than her need to keep herself modestly covered.

Celestia turned and set her legs over the side of the bed as she continued to read.

As she tumbled into the pure white sand outside the window, she rolled to her hands and knees as she scrambled away from the building. The sand seemed to be just too loud for her tastes, but no alarms were coming from within. She retreated into the night away from the lamps at the sides of the porch, the only lights that were shining into the shadows. The way her nipples were dragged through the sand beneath her was not distracting enough to make her stand as of yet. She crawled over the dune through the tall beach grass, and when her nipple piercings got snagged on that, she realized it was time to stand up. Biting her lip to keep from crying out was making her lower lip sore.

She stood panting as she rubbed her sore nips, and wished she could have the paralysis spell that kept her wings from moving removed so that she could just fly away for assistance. After all, she wasn't used to spending so much time actually running. It wasn't considered... seemly... for Royalty to move so. In fact, she barely managed to avoid a faceplant in the sand as her hooves shuffled through the loose sand.

But she saw hope. A brightly colored hut coming into her view over the next sand bar. Surely she was about to be saved at last.

The anticipation of being caught yet again made the Princess hot. She absentmindedly rubbed her pussy as she wonder just how drunk she was getting her netherlips pierced. She couldn't quite remember getting them, but she knew that she was supposed to have them. Gold was her metal, after all.

CHAPTER 30: Magical Mystery... Sure.

Panting from her jog, she came up to the front door. She rested her hands on her knees and panted as she gathered her reserves to knock. After a moment of regaining her breath, she reached up and knocked daintily. She waited a moment and then knocked again.

Slowly the door opened to reveal a busty maiden. Her hide, mane and tail were all as black as the void. Her long straight shiny mane fell over her shoulders like a cloak. Even her eyes seemed to be black holes in the whites of her eyes. Her lips were large, pouting and stained... wow, there seems to be a theme here.

She smirked at the occasional snark inserted into the story by the author themselves. It seemed that they had trouble taking their own smut seriously at times. One of the more endearing traits that ran through the whole series of novels.

Her huge tits had massive black nipples were pierced on all four sides with small black pearls. Both of them. But what struck the Princess more than all that was the blood red tattoo on her moose knuckle. Two red symbols of womanhood linked together in unity as a small star shone in the center of both. They were framed between two wings, one bat and one feathered. Then she noticed that the mystery mare also had wings: One leathery and one feathered.

"MORGAN LE FELL?!" she asked in disbelief. Yes, she was looking into the eyes of Megan Le Fell, the Mistress of the 'Hot Lesmarians of Starswirl the Fillyspanker'. A dark and mysterious group of unicorn mares all dedicated to the dark arts led by their hybrid pegasus Mistress with immense magical skill.

"I guess this isn't just your night, Princess," she purred as she reached out and tweaked a sore nipple.

The Princess wanted to scream. She wanted to flee. But the flash she felt from her nipple to her toes told her she was just enchanted. She couldn't control her own body any more. Her mind just wasn't working right at all.

"Come Princess," she purred as she pulled on Pauline's nipple, "I have some very naughty mares you just have to meet."

Helpless to resist, she followed behind the enchanting mysterious hybrid pegasus mare. It was only time before...

Then a wet cloth was clamped over Celestia's face from behind yet again. It seemed all to familiar to have a strong arm pinning both of her own arms and wings with a single motion. The little book fell from her jerking fingers. She was starting to get used to the panicked inhaling of sweet fumes as she looked about. There was a paw holding the cloth over her face. A blue paw.

"I guess this just isn't your night, Princess," purred Rainbow Dash as the Princess slipped into a deep sleep.

Hot Dog

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Celestia awoke in a place clearly that wasn't her own. In fact, she felt like she was laying in sand. But something warm and wet was lapping at her pussy from between her legs even as she lay on her back. Her wings were snapped open shivering with a sleep wingboner. Slowly, she opened her eyes to find she was looking at the wings and back of Rainbow Dash even as the pegasus-dog was using her broad wet tongue to lap at the alicorn's pussy. Dash was on her hands and knees in the sand as Celestia's legs were spread around her.

"Ya royal types like ta sleep in don't'cha?" asked a familiar gravelly dog's voice. It seemed that he was standing somewhere behind her, and yet she felt like she was somehow prevented from just turning her head and looking that way.

Dash paused to look up into her eyes as she could see the shiny new control collar along with the old one about Dash's neck.

"Don't bother trying ta answer me yet," he replied to his own question, "I ain't gave ya permission yet."

Celestia reached up to touch something about her neck. It was gold and had pearls in its settings, and she was sure it was the most expensive control collar the Diamond Dog Shaman had ever manufactured. After all, a common dog collar about the throat of a Princess would surely set off alarms all over the place. But something so obviously expensive and exquisite surely wouldn't.

"Yer probably wondering why I had my old pet here knock you out, stuff you in an invisibility sack and bother to portal you all the way over here just so I can gawk at yer nekkid... I mean speak to ya about matters ya might not think is so important over here."

Actually, Celestia did.

"Word has come through my spy network is that ya has been having... private little talks shall we say?.. with that there Auric Gold Talon. We would not be pleased if you were to come ta some... private deal with them griffons knowing that we are the ones who have ta live within yer borders and not tha likes of dem."

Celestia would have had something to say if she had permission to speak. But she was panting softly because of the renewed effects of Dash's tongue lapping at her hot and wet pussy again.

"But don't worry yer pretty little head bout us dogs tryin ta dictate daily terms to the Crown of Equestria," he continued, "But we just want to make sure that ya ain't makin no shady deals at our expense over here."

She could feel a few more pairs of smaller breasts against her back and wings as a bitch placed her arms about Celestia's sides. There was another warm tongue, lips and sharp teeth as she began to nibble at the white alicorn's throat from the side.

"But as long as yer here, it won't be said we dogs don't know how ta treat some big time bitch like you. I won't let any of my warriors have their way with you considering we don't want any more... unwanted notice... so just relax and go with it."

Celestia was beginning to feel just a little smothered as another bitch crawled up from the other side and began licking broadly at the sides and nipple of the breast that was closer to her. She was getting hot and bothered as all of the attention and teasing was being laid on her.

...

Big Macintosh regretted that he had to tie his wife to her bed so securely while she was unconscious, but he was afraid she would hurt somepony otherwise until he figured what was done to her earlier. She definitely didn't feel like herself when she tried to stab him. Her speech seemed all wrong as well after he had a few minutes to reflect on what she had said. It was like she was using somepony else's voice entirely. He also had to use two layers of gag on her, as he didn't wish to have to explain anything more to the staff of the dog's hotel.

"Somepony all is gonna pay fer this, sweetums," he promised as he gazed on her peacefully sleeping form. Then he covered her up with the sheets so that it wouldn't look suspicious to somepony if they just peeked in the door or window to see what was going on within the room. Then he kissed Jifar on her cheek before he slipped quietly into the hallway and locked up the door behind him.

"Are you alright, Sir Macintosh?" asked Spike quietly as he pretended to casually walk by.

"Ah will beh if'n I ever find out what all happened with mah sweet wife and Miss Gilda," he replied casually.

"Agent P-L thinks Gilda was somehow charmed while she was looking over Jifar," he said as he slowed his steps and looked out the hallway window, "So it's not unreasonable to think something similar was done to your wife."

"Wasn't she all under dog control there for a while?" asked B-M as he straightened his tie. He wasn't used to wearing suits so much since his informal wedding ceremony to Jifar back in Canterlot.

"We are sure that the dog's influence has been fully removed at this time," replied Spike as he appeared to squint at something in the distance, "It's not the same kind of influence this time either. We're doing our best to figure out exactly what happened to the two of them even as we speak."

"Ah appreciate it."

"But we did find a few small griffoniness feathers while we were taking Gilda to a secure location," he continued, "and we suspect that..."

"Auric Gold Talon is somehow mixed up in all this," interrupted Big Mac.

"That's what we're thinking right now," agreed Agent S-D.

"Ah feel ah owe him fer this."

"Gold Talon will be brought to justice if that's what called for," he continued, "This is not a matter of personal vengeance. Don't make an international incident that could bother Equestria and it's relations for decades with Germaneigh."

"Alright," he answered, "Ah won't do nuthin... rash."

"We'll get back to you as soon as we know more," said Spike softly as he resumed walking down the hallway.

(33) A Princess Shuffle

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Celestia slowly awoke in her own bed. She had some crazy dreams while she was sleeping, and she was feeling confused. It seemed she was having some contradicting feelings about the possible negotiations between Equestria, the Diamond Dogs and the Griffon Kingdom as represented by Auric Gold Talon. She was also somewhat sore from piercing that were acting up. The Princess wished she could just remember when she got them. The pretty collar about her neck seemed just a little tight as well. But for some reason, neither of those things were bothering her so much. But a few places on her body were all wet and tingly, and it seemed the dreams were all to real to her body.

But she had to bathe quickly, as it wasn't long before she had to raise the sun. It was part of her magic to know when it's about time to raise and lower the sun, plus the thousand years or so that she also controlled the moon. Yet the night held it's own mysteries, as there was events that happened in spite of her imagined precise control. One such event was the Blood Moon, as no one still properly understood the phases of the moon where it appeared to turn a reddish color. Then there was the even rarer Lunar Eclipse where the disc of the moon turned almost black for a while.

She made her way from the bedroom to the Royal Bathroom and set the water heater for the magical flame to heat the water tank just for the shower fairly quickly. She waited patiently for the water to heat while she sat on the marble seat next to it. When the water was about right, she changed the flow through the shower head.

'Uh,' she though, 'Why does it seem like there's two voices in my head arguing for the Diamond Dogs and Auric Gold Talon?'

She felt relieved that she was in the room alone, as she was scratching places that would have left her totally red faced if she thought somepony else was watching her. When she smelled the finger she rubbed between her legs, it definitely had a slightly musky smell to it as if she had been sexually aroused earlier.

'That must have been a heck of a dream,' she thought.

Then she slipped into the tub. While she felt like she wanted to take a nice long bath with rose petals and oil, it just seemed like she had enough time for a quickie bath instead. She had to work the loofah fast and perhaps a little harder than she would have preferred. Then she jumped out of the tub and did a quick towel dry with a large and fluffy towel.

'I need something I can put on quickly.'

She dashed back into the main bedroom and over to the walk-in closet. First she put on her corset to keep her stomach nice and tight. As per Queen Sombrarity's standing orders, she didn't put on bra or panties. Going through her outfits, she selected something white and frilly that would look good with the rising sun at her back. It was fast enough as there was only a few layers of skirts and underskirts that she had to deal with. The shoulders were only moderately puffy and the collar was only frilly instead of rigid from starch.

There was a knock on the door.

"Yes?" she asked as she looked for her silver shoes.

"The Rising Sun Ceremony should be starting in about 15 minutes, mare-lady," said one of the Royal Guards. She couldn't quite place the stallion by his voice right offhand.

"Thank you!" she called, "I shall be along shortly!"

"We eagerly look forward to the new day." Then she heard him leaving.

'Just another day same as yesterday,' she thought.

Then she stopped as a daydream flashed before her eyes. She saw a naked Rainbow Dash between her naked legs and crotch as she used her broad tongue to lap at her sopping wet pussy. Occasionally, she looked up into her eyes as she could see a new collar around her throat. Her puppy dog eyes shined from a light someplace behind them and her nose looked wet.

She shook her head as she thought, 'Uhh... Where did that come from?'

So she finished dressing, went to the door and found the four Guards who normally escorted her out to the usual platform where the moon was lowered and the sun was raised each morning. It felt strange that she was doing both things herself again even though she had been doing both things on her own for a thousand years. As usual, all of the Guards bowed to her as a sign of respect.

As she hurried by, the Guards fell in behind her in a square formation. She trotted up a short flight of stairs and out onto the platform where the ceremony took place. While there was a few nobles and other VIPs, most of the citizens were in the plaza underneath it. They were all watching for her, so a moderate cheer arose with the could finally see her.

She went over to the Station of the Moon first, rising in front of it and spreading her wings as the Moon lowered out of sight. There was relative quiet as the stars vanished from the sky quickly one after another. When that was done, she landed.

With a little sigh, she walked over to the Station of the Sun and repeated the process more or less to bring the sun into the sky. The sky turned from red to yellow to bright blue as the sun rose to its proper place in the sky. A vast cheer came from those down below in the plaza, and she got quiet nods and claps from those up on the platform around her.

Goldie Locks

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Gilda was getting just a little tired of being treated like a naked caged animal for reasons she couldn't understand. Her memory was kind of vague about it all, having held Sir Big Macintosh's wife hostage for a gold bar she didn't really care about. But she had other memories of being tied naked in a chair while some other griffoniness lorded over her... and did something to her. She really wished that she could think about what that was. It all seemed like she was somehow trapped in a bad dream. After all, she was supposed to be undercover as a maid helping out the Knight of the Ponyville Queen instead of rotting in a cell like some common criminal.

Then the door across from her cell opened far enough for her to hear a voice.

"I see now that you're awake," said somepony nearby, "A moment of your time I shall take."

Gilda noticed it was Princess Twilight Sparkle who had addressed her and was now entering the room.

"Why am I in a cell?!" Gilda asked with great concern.

"You're in for a reason as I can tell," she replied, "but the reasons for that are not known well."

"Well when am I getting out of here?!" she asked.

"In that cell you must stay," she answered calmly, "You're under a foreign influence today."

"Foreign influence?!"

"I can tell by even the slightest glance," she continued, "that this is more than mere hypnotic trance."

"Then someone's been messing with my head!!" growled the griffoniness as she slammed her fist into her open talon, "It makes me want to mess with THEIR heads!!"

"But you must stay there until we know," she pleaded, "until it is safe for all to let you go."

"Well could I at least get some basic clothing in here?!"

"Clothing for the moment has been banned," she replied, "since you could be forced to kill yourself with any at hand."

"Well who would do that?!" she hissed.

"A post hypnotic suggestion may already be there," she continued, "To take such risks would surely not be fair."

"FINE!!" she snarled, "I guess I can live au naturale for awhile!!"

"Getting angry about this won't help your case," she pleaded again, "but will only serve to keep you in your place."

But Gilda could only roar in frustration in response.

Twilight responded by taking an odd looking gun from her pocket. "Please try to calm down and put you mind at ease," she continued to beg, "Don't make me shoot you with this please."

"There's only one thing I can think of that will calm me down," she begged in return, "and ya gotta help me with it, Princess."

"I shall aid you very well," she said calmly as she returned the gun to her pocket, "Turn you back against the cell."

"Thank you," she replied as she turned and leaned back against the cell bars. She spread her arms, legs and wings so that all of her body could be readily accessed from the other side. It only took a moment for her to feel the Princess reach through the bars with one hand cupping her right breast and the other slipping between her legs. She kept her talons open and held away because she knew one little word from the Princess as she was going to be mobbed by the Guards waiting outside the room. But she didn't care about that right now as her fingers worked their magic on her wanting nipple and griffonslit.

"This far I can say that I trust you," said the Princess quietly near her earhole, "the rest is entirely up to you. You are no faker nor a shill. Your recover depends on how you use your will."

It wasn't taking long for Gilda to be left panting, wet and aroused as she tried to calm her growing rage. But feeling the Princess' fingers up inside her birth canal and rubbing her clit was surely giving her a worthy distraction. The growing firmness in her nipple surely added to all of that.

"Something is feeling just a little wrong," she moaned by Gilda's head, "Have your loins been pierced long?"

"I... I..." panted Gilda, "I can't remember..." Her voice seemed to change slightly as she continued, "Drinking binge one night in Gryphus... woke up the next morning in an alley with a few new piercings..."

Twilight seemed to accept her version of events as she continued to deeply tease Gilda. But in spite of her wishes, she clamped her talon over Twilight's hand in her crotch and moaned, "Deeper Princess! Push them deeper!" Her hand froze and Gilda feared she was about to call in the Guards when she felt the fingers thrust in harder and deeper. She was wet and hot enough now that she could feel the juices leaking around Twilight's thrusting digits. It was only a few more minutes before she was pushed over the edge into an orgasm marked by her feral growling griffon call.

Then she all but slumped moaning and panting to the floor once Twilight pulled her hands back. Then she crawled on her talons and paws back to her bare bed and pulled herself onto it.

"Thank you Princess," she panted as she still felt the glow from her climax, "I'm much calmer now. I can get some sleep." She curled up into a fetal position in order to most effectively keep her body heat in.

"I have a feeling what's in store," replied Twilight as she opened the door, "I truly wish I could do more."

Gilda sighed as she tried to sleep.

Meanwhile, the Guards looked at the Princess oddly as she removed a cotton swab from one of her pockets and carefully wiped the fingers of the hand she just used to finger Gilda's griffonslit. Then she placed it into a small glass vial and screwed a lid onto it. After that, she wrapped a hanky about her fingers as well as if preserving some kind of evidence.

"Princess?" asked a Guard.

"Not now Flash," she replied as she ran, "I must dash."

'Her story of her new piercing surely does reek,' she thought, 'She surely couldn't have been there and back this week. But those studs have been placed there in less time. The whole thing can only be some kind of magical crime.'

Big Mac Attack

by neorenamon

"Sorry for thah short notice, Agent S-D," whispered Big Macintosh over his shoulder to Spike, who likewise had his back to Big Mac. They were pretending not to have an unplanned conversation in the restaurant while there was others around.

"It's okay," he replied softly, "What'cha need?"

"Gold Talon is gonna gas the Diamond Dog's mine to steal alla their gold, but I have no idea where ta find tha gas afore he can use it," he replied.

"Who gave you that intel?"

"Ah can only say it's someone close to Gold Talon who's beneath his notice an all."

"Ah, one of his griffoniness slaves?"

He didn't comment or reply to that.

"Well the mines are really large," mused Spike, "The amount of gas he would need would be equally large. It must be in containers that no one would normally suspect as being dangerous..."

"Like barrels of beer or wine?"

"Well if the barrels were made air tight on the inside, I suppose that would work."

"I betcha he's got barrels of that stuff comin inta Equestria every day," he replied, "How am I gonna find the ones with the gas?"

"Well even Gold Talon's shipments require paperwork. It has to say where it's going. Putting a desination far away from the Diamond Dog's mine would look suspicious if the shipment was stopped on the road."

"Why would they..."

"Smugglers," said Spike, "The Crown is always looking on smugglers. They try to trade goods that the Crown taxes without having to pay those taxes properly... and once in a while, they catch someone trying to smuggle ponies out of the country to be turned into slaves on foreign markets... bad stuff that."

He nodded even though Spike couldn't see it.

"The problem is there's a lot of paperwork," continued Spike, "and even with the most help I can find, it could take weeks to track down one suspicious shipment."

"Time we ain't got."

"I can only suggest you get to the mine and hope you catch them before they can set up the gas."

"But sweetums..."

"Miss Bakabaka and I shall overlook Jifar's safety personally," he replied.

"But Miss Gilda..."

"Someone must have ambushed her while she was alone with Jifar," he answered, "I suspect that someone put a spell on her to make her act all crazy. It might even have expired by now."

"Well thank you," he said evenly, "Ah'll git to tha mines an see wha I can see there."

"I'll get you a good mule to ride. Just keep an eye open for really big wagons or a suspicious wagon train."

He nodded again.

"I'll have an agent meed you down at the stables in an hour," said Spike as he stood and started to leave.

"Ah owe ya one... for sweetums an me..."

He pretended not to hear as he paid his tab at the checkout and strolled out. Waiting for Spike to be outta sight, he also paid his tab and strolled out into the lobby.

...

Big Mac came to the stable an hour later to collect a mule for him to ride out to the mines.

"'Scuse meh son," he said to the Earth pony boy overlooking the mules, "Ya'll got an ass fer me tah ride?"

"No sir," he replied dryly, "The guests are only allowed to ride the mules."

"But an ass is a..." he muttered, "Oh nevermind. Has mah mule been set aside fer Sir Big Macintosh?"

He walked over to a pole with a clipboard and list on it. Looking it over and then looking at the page underneath, he said at last, "Yes Sir. Your mule is waiting and ready to go. Just follow me to stall #69."

Big Mac nodded as he followed.

"This will be your mule util you return him," he said as they came to stall #69.

"Hmm," he said as he looked up at the sign, "Don Key. How... creative..."

"Hey, the Don Key name as been passed down for generations," replied the mule without looking, "Don't you be dissen that. My father was Don Key, my grandfather was Don Key..."

"I think I got the drift, Donkey," he replied.

"Don Key," he snapped, "Don Key. That's TWO words."

"Thank you for clearing that up," replied the big red, "But I need to get to the Diamond Dog Mine pretty fast. I'm going to have to ride you pretty hard. Are ya up ta it?"

"I was born ready," he replied as he looked back over his shoulder, "Oh, you're a big one."

"So I've been told."

"Well open the stall so we can get going already," snapped Don Key.

"Ah'm ready to leave now," he replied as the stable colt opened the stall door.

"Do you have any idea how many hours they keep us in these stalls where we can't turn around. It's so hard to chew on my own ass in here."

"Ah can see how that would be a problem," he replied as the mule positioned himself for Big Mac to mount him.

A jenny poked her head over her stall door as they started walking by. "Remember that you promised to ride my ass tonight," she said with a wink.

"Meadow Muffin," he hissed softly, "We ain't supposed to talk like that in front of the customers..."

"Ah don't know," she replied, "I would mind him riding my ass either."

Big Mac spurred Don Key into a trot as they headed for the main doors.

...

"Wheh," said Don Key panting, "That was a heck of a ride!"

"We woulda got here sooner if'n ya ran around the pink dragon instead of away from them," replied Big Mac dryly.

"Look pal," he snapped back, "I'm no knight's mount! They don't pay me ta mess with dragons!"

"I ain't never fought no dragon afore neither," he replied, "but the dragon couldn't have got a clean flame burst at us as long as we kept the rocks and trees between us. Instead, ya just ran out inta the open an ah hadda save mah ass anyways."

"Yeah! Punching that dragon in the nose like that was AWESOME!"

"Ah just wanted it ta go away without hurtin it too bad," he replied.

"I dunno," replied the mule, "I think you gave that nose a bruise."

"Oh I'm sure it will survive."

"You just kick flank and take names, don'tcha?"

"When I must."

They came over a rise in the road and came across a huge wagon slowly plodding in the direction of the Diamond Dog's Mine.

"Wait. I think this is what I've been lookin fer."

"Whoa," said Don Key, "That there issa lotta guards for one wagon."

"Which is alot for just beer. Ah think I've found wha ah wanted ta see. Now to destroy it."

"WHAT?!"

"Just back up and get off the road," said Big Mac, "I don't think you should get involved in this."

"Fine by me," he said as he backed up, "Just because I'm sterile doesn't mean I got nothing to live for."

It's a gas

by neorenamon

Gold Talon laughed as the gas canisters were moved closer to the vent. His voice was slightly altered by the mask he was wearing. "Those mangy mutts won't know what hit them," he hissed, "and soon all of their gold shall belong to me!" He looked around to make sure that all of them had their gas masks in place. Not that he really cared about his thugs, but he needed them to haul out what was soon to be his gold.

He looked at the vent to make sure it was taking in air and not pushing it out.

"Be sure to only use the vents that are sucking in air!" he called, "And I want to be sure that ALL of the intake vents are gassed!"

Then he looked into the vent as he said, "You won't need all that gold where you're going to wind up!"

He heard a gasp nearby and realized that they were being watched. His goons moved quickly and soon a griffoniness was dragged before him. One he knew well.

"Well if it isn't Pussy Amore," he hissed, "Why are you spying on your Master?!"

"You aren't going to put them to sleep," she replied with her own hiss, "You're going to MURDER them all!"

"Well isn't death just a permanent sleep?" he asked as he stuck her across her beak.

"YOU'RE A *MONSTER!***" she said without looking back.

"No, I'm a business griffon," he replied with a sneer, "One who gets what they want no matter who gets hurt."

"You aren't the keythong I once knew," she said as she began crying, "Sure you broke knee caps and used your goons to strongarm your rivals... but now GENOCIDE?!"

"It's called ambition, my dear," he said as he placed his talon under her beak and held her head up. Then he looked at his goons and said, "Now strip and hogtie this traitor! I plan to make sure her demise will be long and amusing, so it will have to wait until we're done with our business with the soon to be former Diamond Dogs!"

Several goons came up to her as the others held her arms and pinned her legs to the ground at the knees, and soon their talons were ripping off her clothes with such force that she was getting scratched in a number of places.

"But first a little reminder of whose in charge here," he said as he snapped his talon in a coded sequence of sorts.

Her body was wracked with agonizing pain as her control piercings activated themselves. She screached in agony as if that was music to the ears of Gold Talon.

"That's just the beginning of what happens to those who double cross Gold Talon!" he hissed as she squirmed. It didn't stop the goons from forcing her arms painfully behind her back as they started tying her up tightly from her neck down.

"BUT NONE OF YOU BETTER RAPE HER UNTIL I SAY YOU CAN!!" he growled, "OR THE PUNISHMENT WILL BE EVEN MORE SEVERE THAN WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO HER!!"

'Please save me Sir Big Macintosh!' she thought through her haze of agony, 'PLEASE!'

"The rest of you better stop gawking and get back to work if you know what's good for you!!" he said, "Or I promise I'll rip out your throats with MY OWN TALONS!!"

The keythong goons quickly got back to work other than Gold Talon's pet enforcer. He was never expected to lower himself to manual labor even if was the strongest keythong present.

"Besides," he said, "With the Shaman out of the way, the other dogs will be much more... manageable. He's far to powerful for his own good and I'd much rather not spend the rest of my days waiting for him to try and avenge his humiliation."

She would have had some choice words to say if her beak wasn't being tied shut.

...

Jifar awoke from her restless slumber. It was hard to get sleep while bound to a bed let alone having to deal with nightmares about Big Macintosh and Twilight meeting their demise at the talons of a monster like Gold Talon. Besides, her face was getting licked a lot. She opened her eyes to see Rainbow Dash laying slobber all over her face with her dog-like tongue. In fact, she had climbed on top of the giraffe and was pressing her own eight small teats against her own massive breasts.

'Oh what can be so wrong with me?' she thought, 'My predicament so plain to see.'

Then Dash used her teeth to start tearing the ropes away from her face, but was being rather careful not to hurt Jifar in the process. It took a moment for her mouth to be freed.

"My sweet husband must be in trouble so," she said, "Please unbind me and let me go."

So she began chewing at the ropes binding her arms to her chest.

"You are such the good bitch," she sighed, "Now if I could only reach that itch."

But Dash was too busy chewing rope to comment even if she was inclined to do so. She wasn't sure why Dash wasn't using her hands, but then she figured her more canine teeth had to be pretty sharp so she didn't comment about it.

Pussy Amore... or less

by neorenamon

Pussy Amore lay on the ground tied into an awkward pretzel of feathers and fur. She was grateful that Gold Talon was far to busy to ravage her naked form and far too selfish to let any of his goons use her themselves. But he didn't care and she couldn't stop the keythongs from gawking at her breasts and her loins. Part of the awkwardness to her situation was the fact her legs were tied across each other and she couldn't close her legs even a little bit, or roll over to get some cover for her breasts.

"Remember," he warned, "All the gas must be released at once or some of them can get out or get to shelter before the gas overwhelms them! If I catch even one of you releasing that gas too soon, I swear your death SHALL NOT BE PLEASANT!"

The keythongs all gulped nervously because they fully well knew that Gold Talon meant what he said.

But a keythong rushed up to the large keythong as he said, "Sir. I've spotted a dog patrol leaving the mine entrance."

"So?" he asked back, "What's unusual about that?"

"They aren't following the usual patrol route," he replied, "I think they're heading this way."

"Was there anyone with them who wasn't a dog?"

"No sir."

"How many are there?"

"A good two dozen or so. More than a normal patrol I might add."

"Secretly surround them and eliminate them," he replied, "Make sure they all die and none of them make any alarm calls."

"At once," he replied as he turned to walk away. Several keythongs fell in line behind him as they left. While Gold Talon knew that they weren't the largest or strongest griffons, their viciousness and lethality more than made up for it.

Pussy Amore pitied the poor dogs. They were all good as dead.

Then Gold Talon turned to the rest and said, "Hurry up with that gas!" Walking over to a nearby crate, he ripped it open before he added, "And make sure all of you are wearing these gas masks! I won't be responsible for any foal that breathes this gas and dies!"

Several keythongs moved up to the crate and grabbed armloads of masks to give out to the others. They quickly strapped on their own masks before moving off to help the others into theirs. One of them came over and strapped one of the masks over the face and beak of the bound and helpless griffoniness.

'Don't do me any favors you...' she was thinking when she noticed that the keythong winked at her. 'Oh you disgusting... Wait, those eyes... Where have I seen those green eyes before?'

He then paused to adjust the bowtie about his throat. Something that none of the other keythongs were wearing.

"That's a good idea," said Gold Talon from behind him, "I don't want this slut to die before I want her to."

But the keythong just stood to move on.

"Are you deaf?!"

He looked back and shook his head 'no'.

"Good. Glad to know. I also like how you don't blather on and on like most of the thugs tend to."

He nodded before he backed away, and then turned to help the others into their masks.

'That's strange,' she thought, 'I could have sworn he was wearing... a bowtie?!'

But the keythong that reported to Gold Talon before returned. He seemed bruised and injured.

"What is the meaning of this?!"

"The dog patrol," he gasp, "They're all seasoned warriors! We've killed a few of them, but they've killed as many of your prime enforcers!"

"So why are you here?"

"I had to come back and report, my lord!"

"You take responsibility for this?"

He gulped as he replied, "Yes, we underestimated the strength of the patrol."

Gold Talon casually reached out, gripped his throat and ripped it out without much effort. As the keythong fell to the ground with his blood gushing from his throat, he said coldly, "Apology accepted." Then he looked about and said, "If the gas isn't ready to go, then more of you shall share his fate!"

"The gas is ready!" called one of the goons.

He strapped a mask over his own face. "THEN RELEASE THE GAS!!" he screeched.

Pussy could hear the hiss from the closest vent. The gas was being released into the vents.

"ODDBALL!" he added as he turned to his head minion, "Go kill those blasted dogs!"

The massive keythong stalked off in the direction of the battle.

"Soon all of that wonderful gold shall belong to me!" he gloated as he rubbed his talons in anticipation.

(39) Lab Work

by neorenamon

Twilight was running analysis on the fluids she had 'collected' from Gilda. She was looking for tell tale chemicals that a sentient creature produces in excess when under long term magical control. It was known that bodies were not meant to be under control for long periods like a body wasn't meant to be a host for a disease, so they both produced chemicals in amounts not normally present in the body. She was intently looking at a readout from one of her scientific instruments intent enough not to notice that somepony else had come into her lab.

"Twilight dahling..." said a voice behind her.

She jumped a good foot when she turned about face to cleavage with Queen Sombrarity.

"Oh Queen Sombrarity!" she exclaimed, "What a sight to see!"

"I'm so sorry dahling," she replied, "Did I startle you?"

"I was analyzing this Gilda sample," she replied, "and my sense of you wasn't ample."

"Oh, I heard the poor thing went nuts, held sweet Jifar hostage and threatened to kill her for a gold bar I hear," she replied, "Pity. I thought she was loyal enough to be an agent of the Equestria Secret Service."

"Perhaps I can mend that fence," she replied, "as I fear she was under foreign influence."

"Foreign influences, you say?"

"Yes it may turn out to be tragic," she answered, "if she should be under control magic."

"Well it would at least restore my faith in our griffoniness friend."

"Once the results of this test show," she said looking back at the readouts, "then we shall surely soon know."

The Queen leaned closer as she gave a lick to Twilight's neck. Then she placed her hands on Twilight's shoulders.

"Please don't interupt this action," she sighed, "I need not be driven to distraction."

"You may well be a Princess," said Sombrarity, "but I am your Queen. And who can blame me for being so impressed with you?"

"While your infatuation is great indeed," replied Twilight, "This task at hand has greater need."

"Then I shall make this brief," she said as her hands slipped down over Twilight's breasts, "I could use a few special spells for an upcoming wedding I'm planning. It's going to be... a huge affair. It must be as grand as a Grand Galloping Gala."

"Perhaps this can be discussed later?" she panted as her breasts were fondled quite openly, "Is the need for this test not greater?"

"It's good to be the Queen," she replied as she began applying a hickey to Twilight's throat. Twilight rolled her head away to give the Queen even greater access.

"I promise I shall do everything I can do," panted Twilight, "to make the special spells later for you."

But the Queen's mind was set as she opened her top and bared her pastel violet breasts along with their generous purple nipples. Now she felt quite free to fondle their motherly mass. Twilight realized that she was losing her track of thought even as she knew she was going to have another hickey to explain away or cover up.

...

Now that Pussy Amore was left alone in the chaos around her, she redoubled her efforts to break out of the ropes binding her so tight. But still, a lot of rope was used and they made sure that she couldn't use her talons or paws to any effect against them. She wouldn't give up, and she couldn't stop wondering where she saw the green eyes of the keythong that placed the gas mask over her beak before.

"Has the dog patrol been dealt with?!" asked Gold Talon somewhere distantly.

"Those who aren't dead have retreated!" called another keythong.

"Then prepare to enter the mines!" he called, "The gas should soon render all defenses moot!"

"As you command!"

She looked at the cooling corpse of the keythong that failed Gold Talon and wondered if any of his thugs would share his fate. The sounds began to fade into the distance as she realized they were moving towards the mine entrance. But then the keythong with the green eyes was looking down over her head. He flashed a small very sharp knife over her eyes.

'Blast,' she thought, 'It really ends like this?!'

"Ya miss me, sugarcube?" he asked.

'Sir Big Macintosh?!' she thought.

He moved down her body and began to cut away the ropes binding her legs.

"Don'tcha worry too much about the dogs," he said as he watched her testing her legs in an attempt to escape the ropes prematurely, "When ah told them bout the gas attack, they reversed the ventilation system an all'a the gas is being blown out instead of in."

'Then they aren't going to die.'

"Gold Talon and his goons are in fer a rude surprise when they try ta storm the mines," he added as he continued to cut her loose. He was about done freeing her legs. Then he sat her up and began working on her arms as she stretched out her legs.

'That bastard deserves it,' she thought hotly.

But then he paused to hug her from behind as he sighed, "Ah hope that bastard didn't hurt ya a whole lot. You deserve better than the likes of him. Ah'll make sure ya never have to grovel before him ever again."

'Why do you care about me so much?'

"Unfortunately I can't untie yer beak without taking the mask off," he apologized as he returned to cutting away the ropes about her arms, wings and torso, "an I can't let ya breath that there gas."

'Great,' she thought, 'There's so much I have to tell him right now!'

"Once yer free," he continued, "Ya gotta git away from here! I gotta go back inta tha mines ta stop Gold Talon and Oddball! It ain't gonna be safe there fer you!"

'You aren't getting rid of me that easily.'

"Fly to the huge tree house in Ponyville and ah'm sure Queen Sombrarity will take care of ya real nice like."

Soon she was freed other than her beak.

"Promise me you'll go there and be safe."

She nodded before she flew away. Looking back, she watched him run off for the entrance to the mines. With her sight, she could see him easily three miles away, so once he was out of sight, she circled around to fly back after him. While her beak was no use, she surely had full use of her talons. She had every intention of using them on the throat of Gold Talon.

The Invitation

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Twilight found herself answering the door more and more herself, as her 'dependable number one assistant' was over at the Carousel Boutique almost every day since he fell in love with the Oryx known as Bakabaka.  His smile was so broad, she hated to spoil the moment by even asking what it was all about.

"Derpy Hooves it must be," she said as she opened the door, "Your smiling face is so nice to see.  Come rain or shine you do not fail.  So perchance I have some mail?"

"Oh yes!" replied Derpy as she fished some letters from her bag and handed them over to her, "Here ya go!"

"I hope your day shall be bereft of sorrow," she replied, "And perchance we shall meet again tomorrow?"

As Derpy turned, she began shuffling through her mail.

'I surely have my fill,' she thought, 'Yet again another bill.  Things may look bleak.  A bill for each day of the week.'

Derpy spun about as she said, "Oh wait!  There's one more!"  She handed her a bright red envelope sealed with green wax, and judging by the Apple-shaped seal, it could only be from Sir Big Macintosh.

"What kind of mail do I see?" she asked as she looked it over, "Perchance an invitation for me?"

"Oh, that must be the wedding invitation to the celebration of the union of Big Macintosh and Jifar."

The letter glowed as she opened it, and floated out a piece of paper as she began to read it.

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

You are cordially invited to come to the wedding ceremony of Big Macintosh and Jifar Macintosh.  Princess Celestia and Princess Luna wish you to attend as representing the Crown in this matter.  Jifar insists that you perform the ceremony so that you might bless our union once more yourself.

While the proper ceremony isn't for another 2 months, to allow the clan to get together and attend, I'd like it that you come over within the week to plan the whole thing along with Jifar and myself.  Believe me, but Jifar is set like stone on this point.  If you wish to bring Miss Opa and Miss Zecora to help plan things, that is fine with us as well.

We hope to hear back from you soon.  Love Sir Big Macintosh and Dame Jifar Macintosh.

Looking up from the letter, she wondered if Derpy was staring at her for some reason.

"So do you want me to wait for a reply?"

"You should surely go on delivering mail," she replied, "I do not wish to risk any sort of fail."

"Okay, I'll check back with you tomorrow."

She waited for Derpy to turn and start leaving before she closed the door behind her.  Turning about, she laid her back against the door as she read the invitation again.  Then she gasp as she looked down at herself, and realized that she had answered the door wearing naught but a red loincloth and a smile.  Somehow, with Spike gone so much, she had become quite accustomed to going about the Library in such a state as there was almost no visitors to the Library as of late.

It seemed to be a habit she somehow picked up upon from Opa and Zecora, although she had no idea when being in such a state began to feel so natural to her.

Taking the invitation in hand, she went up to her bedroom/study to leave it there.  She figured she needed time and a chance to reread it more than once in order to pen a proper response to it.  Once she decided that he could love her inspite of her noble status, her education, and her frail appearance, she knew that she was welcome to spend time with them anytime she chose to.  Jifar would have her living over with them all the time.

She just hoped that the rest of the Apple Clan could see past their appearances, and let them into the clan with no fuss.  While Applejack was fully open to the idea, she knew it was because of their friendship.  Granny Smith was willing to accept them as long as she felt Big Macintosh was still happy from the arrangement.  Apple Bloom just seemed to love having Jifar as her BIG sister-in-law.

But then she wondered as she looked through the mail if there was an invitation for Spike and Bakabaka, but figured they would get there's later with everypony else.  After all, they weren't really needed as part of the wedding planning process.  They would just be there as guests.

So she took out her checklist for the day, and penned in at the bottom, 'Make time for Big Macintosh's wedding arrangement.  Make sure my time there is well spent.'  Of course, she couldn't check it off as she hadn't even really started doing anything about it yet.

She sighed as she thought about just how much she missed him, and just how lucky Rarity was to have him hanging out with her now on most of his free time.

Setting the letter on the nightstand, she laid back across the bed and gazed up at the ceiling.

'Oh my thoughts I should arrange,' she thought, 'The journey here has been so strange.'

As she lay there, her hands seemed to move of their own accord.  One brushed aside her loincloth as the other began to fondle one of her larger, more motherly breasts.  Thinking about Big Macintosh and Jifar seemed to almost compel her to act that way whenever she was alone in bed.  Her eyes slowly closed as her fingers began the process of arousing her.

'In my room alone I must be,' she thought, 'so that others need not see.'

Return to Sweet Apple Acres

Big Macintosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Twilight reminisced as she walked the path back to Zecora's hut.  It seemed like years since she last took that path, but it was in fact only a couple of weeks before that her whole life changing adventure began.  Her new cutie mark was pretty much all the proof she needed, but the stripes on her arms, legs and flanks suggested more.  That and the new accent she shared now with Opa and Zecora.  It seemed like she was somehow reborn into her role as the Celestial Element of Magic.

Now that Opa was the Celestial Element of Dreams, and Zecora was the Celestial Element of Wisdom, she seemed to be spending more time with them than she did her friends who were the Elements of Harmony, and that bothered her greatly.  She hoped she wouldn't have to give up one set of Elements in order to use the other.

Zecora's hut at last came into view as she strode boldly towards the front door.  She glanced at the various windows to make sure that nopony was looking back at her, and she seemed quite relieved to see none.  But as she was reaching for the knob, she was grabbed from behind.  One hand covered her mouth as another pinned her arms and wings in one fluid motion.

By instinct, she teleported behind her attacker to instantly apply the same hold to them, and that's when she also realized that she was holding Zecora.

"The situation almost doesn't seem fair," said Opa from behind her, "that the Celestial Element of Magic should not be more aware."

She released Zecora as she laughed.  As she expected, Zecora wore naught but a red loincloth and a smile.

"Do you really think it's best," asked Twilight, "to ply me with this kind of test?  With these powers strange and new, I could seriously injure one of you."

Twilight found herself embraced from the front and back at the same time as she was pinned between their arms and their bare breasts.  But still she managed to awkwardly hug Zecora back.

"I apologize for the fuss," said Zecora, "Did you come to see us?"

"Big Macintosh and Jifar wish to plan the wedding best," she replied, "asking that you come to plan at her behest."

"I do not wish to sound blue," she replied, "but what can Opa and I do?"

"Of bridesmaids there is a need," she replied, "and Jifar surely wants you indeed.  The wedding ceremony they wish for me to do, so I'd feel better if I'm there with you."

Zecora glanced at Opa, who merely smiled and nodded.  "Then all we need to know," she replied, "is when do you wish for us to go?"

"Well to Sweet Apple Acres to I now go," Twilight answered, "and if things here are slow?"

But Twilight found herself being dragged inside as the door was closed behind.  As she was brought in, a strange smell filled her nose.  It was like some potpourri or incense she had never smelled before.

"But perchance before we run away," said Opa softly into her ear, "Perhaps a moment for some play?"

"It should surely make you smile," agreed Zecora, "should we play for a while."

"Is this some ploy," asked Twilight, "to make me your toy?"

"While that should fill me with great joy, it is surely not our intent to annoy."

But Twilight found that she was being stripped as the two mares led her over to her bed.  It seemed she would be with the two of them for a while.

"This somehow does not seem fair," observed Twilight, "What is this scent that's in the air?"

"I have taken some of the Diamond Dog's nursing potion," replied Zecora, "and used incense to change the focus of it's motion."

"It increases the senses as you can feel," observed Opa, "but doesn't increase your milk a great deal."

She was feeling more sensitive to everything that brushed against her hide, as well as other... more sensitive parts of her body... as he was touched and caressed by both Opa and Zecora.  They laid her across the bed as they laid on each side of her.

"Now that we have shared our life with you," sighed Opa, "It just seems the natural thing for us to do."

"But there is something I must know," panted Twilight as she was fondled from the front and back at the same time, "Must I let the Elements of Harmony go?"

Opa and Zecora were a bit to busy teasing her to reply.

...

Applejack paused to look at herself in the hall mirror.  It seemed with her new and larger breasts, she could only wear the shirts of her big brother now.  None of her old shirts fit her at all any more.  She also knew she looked a bit... strange with the extra bulges under her shirt, and she knew that a whole bunch of ponies were staring at her every time she went to town.  But at least her favorite hat and her jeans both fit her as well as they always had.

Then she could hear a knock from the front door, so she adjusted her shirt as she said, "I'll get it!"

She got to the door, and opened it to see Twilight, Opa and Zecora.

"Well that was a quick response," she said, "an yer just in time fer supper ta boot!"

"I do not wish to bother you if there's no need," replied Twilight, "to bother you for water and..."

"JIFAR!" she called back towards the kitchen, "Set three more places!  We have some guests fer supper!"

"SUGAR-CUBE!" cried Big Macintosh as he glomped onto Twilight by surprise.  She felt a little smothered by his powerful muscles as she could smell his sweat from lifting weights.  It was the smell she remembered from the first time she had brought the Zebrican refugees to Sweet Apple Acres for the first time, and she found him pumping weights as Applejack watched.  Those big... sweaty... muscles... that made her heart just flutter in her chest.

"Big brother!" interrupted Applejack, "Ya know Granny won't let ya to the dinner table unless ya bathe first!"

"Oh why does little sister need ta make such a..."

"JIFAR!" yelled Applejack, "Big brother needs his bath afore he gits to eat supper!"

Something akin to a runaway train grabbed Big Macintosh and Twilight as it thundered up the stairs.

"Oh honey-buns..." he moaned.

"Why don't ya clean up in the hall bathroom," said Applejack, "Then we can all sit down to supper."

"Has Kimbuala been around as of late?" asked Zecora, "Is Granny Smith feeling great?"

"Oh, she comes by three times a week to keep Granny loose.  She carries on nowadays like she was half her age.  It's such a great thing ta see considerin it ain't no phony tonic this time."

As Opa and Zecora followed Applejack to the bathroom, they could hear two large splashes coming from upstairs, one quickly after the other.

"Ah guess she's in a hurry ta git them both real clean," she said softly, "It is baked apple casserole for tonight's fare."  Lening closer to them, she added, "Between Jifar and big brother, it seems every meal is like setting out food for six ponies instead of the two they are."

"It is good that she can make many things that she can bake," replied Opa, "so that she can make more food than she can take."

"Well since Jifar is cleaning up Twilight and big brother," she said as she left them at the bathroom door, "I guess I has ta help with the serving instead.  Just come ta the table when yer ready."

She turned and headed for the kitchen.

(15) And Invitations are sent Forth... or Fifth...

Big Macinstosh's Big Fat Wedding

by neorenamon

Time passed since the delivery of the Apple Family Clan Shield, and it was a couple of week before the requested sign and patches were delivered from Canterlot to Sweet Apple Acres.  They had to hang the stallion-sized sign over the barn door, as they didn't want to cover up any windows on the house.  Twilight used her magic to hold the sign in place while Applejack and Big Macintosh worked on the hammering and nailing part of the chore.  But being the mare she was, Twilight had to spend at least half an hour making sure the sign was just right before she'd allow one single nail to be driven in place.  Jifar was on hand in case she was needed as well as moral support, but Granny Smith and Apple Bloom were mainly there just to watch.

But about the time the sign was hung, a postal pony came up the lane driving his cargo mail wagon dragon by a pair of mules.  They diverted from the pony time before history was recorded so that no one really understood why they remained four-legged beasts while the ponies began going upright and gained their hands.

Apple Bloom went to greet the driver as he came in the main compound.  "Howdy mister," she said with a smile.

"Howdy Miss," he replied, "Equestria Postal says you have a large package to pick up?"

"Yeah," she replied, "It's sitting over on the front porch over there."

He looked over at the porch and spied the cow-sized crate there.  "Goodness," he said, "Are you shipping farm parts or something?"

"Oh no," she replied, "That's just the invitations to Sir Big Macintosh's wedding coming up."

His eye twitched as he said, "That's... just... wedding invitations?!"

"Yessir!"

He looked from her to the box and back.

"We all have a real big clan," she clarified.

"I... see..."

As he stepped off the wagon, she said, "That's a mighty fine ass you have there!"

He stopped cold as one donkey turned to the other and said, "I told ya so."

The other looked back and said, "She's obviously talking to me.  You break the surface of the water in the trough in the morning, yer so dang ugly."

"Yer just jealous that I'm a bigger ass than you."

"No argument there."

"Don't argue," said Apple Bloom, "Yer both pretty."  She dug into her pockets and brought out two large ripe apples.  Then she offered one to each of the beasts.

"Thanks Missy," they said as one, and made the apples vanish in one bite.

"I love deliveries here," said the one mule, "They got the best apples anywheres."

"Dang straight," agreed the other.

The postal stallion made his way to the porch to examine the package.  He seemed unsure that he could carry it back to the wagon by himself.

"And Apple Bloom here," said the first, "a real sweetheart to us workin mules."

"Aww," she replied.

"It's true," he said, "Gives us treats every time I come over."

She nodded.

"I could get used to this," said the other.

"A-yup."

Jifar wandered over to the porch as the postal stallion looked it over.

"Howdy ma'am," he said, "I'll have this gone in just a... oh my."

She had already hefted the whole package by herself.  He looked on in both shock and awe.

"It is the least that I can do," she said, "to help an able stallion like you."

"Uh... thanks," he said awkwardly, "Just drop it off in the back of the wagon... if you don't mind."

"I do not mind," she replied as she walked down the steps, "To help is kind."

One donkey looked at the giraffe, and said to the other, "I'd work myself to the bone for some of that ass."

"That's a giraffe, numbskull," said the other.

"How do know?"

"Ah saw it in a book once," he replied with a smile.

"Still..."

Apple Bloom shuffled her feet as she blushed.

"Ya shouldn't talk like that in front of the innocent," scolded the other mule, "It ain't decent."

The first mule looked at her as he said, "Sorry Missy."

"It's... okay," she replied softly.

"Asides," said the other, "Ya know we both been 'fixed'.  We ain't gonna ever have no kin."

"But I can dream..."

Jifar carried the crate around to the end of the wagon.  Then the wagon sagged as she loaded it on.

"Thank you," said the postal stallion, "You must be expecting a whole lot of guests for one wedding."

"I must say our guess is fair," she replied, "that there shall be many attending there."

"Have many kin here abouts?"

"My kin shall not have much representation," she replied, "as they all live in a far away nation."

"Do you plan to visit sometime?"

"While I strongly wish to see them more," she replied, "the land is still torn by strife and war.  Some day I hope for the violence to cease, and the land may well know peace."

"I see," he replied, "Perhaps one day your wish shall come true."

"While that day seems so far away," she replied with a sigh, "I have a place full of love that I can stay."  The last part was said as she looked at Big Macintosh on the ladder.

"Well, I gotta make more pickups before the end of the day," he replied, "so I should really be on my way."

She smiled and nodded.

(36) Getting an audience

by neorenamon

Before Big Macintosh came into view of the mine entrance, he made sure his mule was well hidden. He didn't want his ass to get in his way while negotiating with the guards. It didn't seem like it was all that long ago that he was effectively at war with them.

"Halt stranger!" called one of the guards as he came into view, "State your name and business!"

"Howdy fellas," he replied amiably, "Mah name is Sir Big Macintosh and I need ta see yer Shaman about somethin real important."

"Let me check the list," said the dog as he looked back, "I don't see you. Perhaps if you come back in a week or so..."

"Y'all don't git it!" he retorted, "Someone's comin here ta steal alla yer gold!"

"Hah. I'd like to see them try. But sorry, we can't let you past."

"Then I reckon ah'm sorry too," he replied as he activated his suit of plate mail armor.

"Get'em boys!" shouted the guard as several of them moved to attack him.

Big Mac started punching the guards in the head, knocking them down one after another. But for each one he knocked down, another two came rushing out to attack him. He wondered how long it would take to overwhelm him. Twenty guards later, he found out.

"Ah tell ya I gotta see yer Shaman fer yer own good!" he hollered as they held him down.

"What all is for our own good over here?!" asked a deep gravelly voice from behind them.

"Shaman?!" asked several guards at once.

"Gold Talon is gonna rob ya blind!" replied Big Mac, "He's gonna use some kinda gas ta knock ya all out afore he sucks alla yer gold from yer reserves! Y'all gotta listen ta meh!"

"Let him us over there boys!!" ordered the Shaman.

"So ya believe me?" he asked as he was let up.

"I believe that Gold Talon would be so bold to try a stunt like that," he answered.

"Can ya do somethin ta stop a gas attack?"

"Now that we've been warned over here," replied the Shaman as he turned around, "There are things we can do."

"Ah'm glad," he said, "I don't think even y'all deserve ta have alla yer hard work taken away from ya."

"Even though you served as one of our mine slaves?"

"Dwelling on the past ain't gonna make nuthin right," he replied.

"I see," he answered, "but I got a feeling over here that you have some other things troubling you?"

"Well mah wife and some close friends are acting strange," he admitted, "but there ain't no collar on them."

He paused to look back for a moment before he replied, "We only use collars on our bitches, but griffons have more subtle means of control for theirs. Collars are too obvious when open slavery is illegal."

"Can ya fix such a thing?"

"No," he replied, "Griffon magic is slightly different than ours. But we do have something over here that might just disrupt the griffon's control over somepony for about a day or so. We use such things when someone is collared by mistake, and that don't happen very often."

"Would ya do that fer me?"

"Well as long as yer protecting dog interests like pony interests, it only seems fair to help you look out for yer own."

"That's mighty kind of ya, but if ya need a return favor in tha future..."

"We can cross dat bridge when we get there," he replied, "Jus wait here while I fetch that control disruptor for you." He turned to the guards as he added, "Get guards on all of the ventilation shaft openings over there. I don't want no surprise attacks on this here mine before we are ready for them!"

He hoped he wasn't making himself obligated to the dogs for any big favors, but he felt he couldn't make exceptions right then.