Chapter I - How to Teleport Interdimensionally
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Chapter I - How to Teleport Interdimensionally
Author's Note
This is my first story so don't go too hard on me, constructive criticism and grammatical correction are always welcomed.
Chapter I - How to Teleport Interdimensionally
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Ponyville, Golden Oak Library
"Beware Element of Friendship.... Beware the warriors of the other land.... Clad in the red of the blood they shed"
Twilight was tossing and turning, as a mysterious voice spoke to her in her dream.
"Beware the Harmonic Nine, for they can turn disharmonic......."
Then she saw Ponyville burning to the ground, ponies screaming and running for their lives, the cries of pain and sorrow everywhere and in the middle of this chaos stood 9 bipedal silouhettes, everything was so silent for a minute until one of them muttere, "Kill her" And the creatures walked towards the Unicorn with frightening grins across their faces.
Twilight woke up with a long and loud gasp, her eyes went wide at a logically impossible level. Trying to catch her breath, she thought to herself "It's just a dream, just a very VERY creepy dream, and a very explicit one too..... Nothing out of the ordinary....".
But as much as she tried to convince herself, she still felt worried. Dreams like this always had a meaning and it's often a bad one. She made a mental note to look for "The Harmonic Nine" in every myth related book in her library or in somepony else's library.
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KOTH Nucleus, New Mexico
It was a typical day in Nucleus. The grass was growing, the birds were flying, the sun was shining, and brotha? People were getting hurt. Anyone living in Teufort would tell you that their day wouldn't be normal without hearing a bunch of guns and launchers and arrows being shot, the source of this mayhem was none other than the BLU and RED Teams.
It all started back in 1850 when Zepheniah Mann owner of Mann Co. was convinced by his dimwitted sons to buy a land in America, as he visited his new property he discovered that the land turned out to be useless pits of gravel and was struck by many diseases causing him to die. His dying will was that his two sons Blutarch and Redmond Mann would have the "curse of partnership" and had to share the land apart. Due to their greed both brothers hired mercenaries to take it all by force but the fight turned out to be a stalemate which continues even during the present day!
Each team had nine mercenaries ranked in three groups; Offense, Defense and Support. The offensive classes were the Scout, the Soldier and the Pyro. The defensive classes were the Demoman, the Heavy and the Engineer. And as for support there was the Medic, the Sniper and the Spy. It was weird how each team was a replica of the other, some say BLU are clones of RED others say that it's the other way around, or that both are cloned from the original nine best mercenaries.
The battle was - as you would've guessed - a stalemate, the two Heavies were exchanging 200$ custom tool cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute until they both got headshot by their opposing Snipers respectively, who following their turn got backstabbed by the Spies before the two frenchmen were toasted by the Pyros.
One would think; "How could it be a stalemate when I just counted 3 casualities for each team?" The answer: Respawn, a brilliant device that could revive the dead in a limited range allowing them to go back into the battle and inevitably get killed again.
The RED Scout ran to the control point while calling out for assistance, "Hey get on the cap, guys!" he said in his Bostonian accent
He was then joined by the Soldier increasing the capture rate, however they did not notice the spikey littles blue balls that have been the end of many REDs; Sticky Bombs. Or Crit-Boosted Sticky Bombs to be exact. The next thing was a "beep" followed by an "Aw cra-" from the Scout, and a thunderous explosion resulting in a rain of human blood and gibs. The battle continued in a back and forth action until RED team's timer ran out granting them the victory.
RED Scout heard a voice in his earpiece saying, "Scout, tell everyone to meet me at the base, ah've got somethin' quite interestin' to show y'all," said the voice with a Texan accent.
"On it, hardhat," replied Scout.
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A few moments later....
The Engineer was standing in the middle of the circle that the 8 men have formed. He was a stout man dressed in overalls over a red undershirt, he had a yellow hard-hat atop his head and goggles covering his green eyes. Next to him was a device that looked like a slightly bigger Teleporter wired up to another box-shaped contraption that had a GPS screen, multiple buttons and a large radar.
"So.... You tied the Tele to a washing machine? How interesting," said the Scout in a sarcastic tone
Demoman snickered, as Engineer shook his head while sighing, "This here is a dimensional Teleporter. Unlike mah old one, it doesn't need an exit, you just type in the coordinates and it'll transport ya in a jiffy! It's still a prototype though, and nope ya can't teleport bread with it, Soldier."
"Dammit!" said presumably Soldier, a well-built looking man wearing a red army uniform and a helmet that completely hides his eyes.
The Spy then moved forwards to take a closer look at the contraption, causing the Texan to flinch not because someone was about to touch his building but also because that someone was Spy! He was a french man wearing a red suit, red pants and a red Balaclava that hid most of his face except his eyes and mouth, he always had a cigarette hanging at his lips. His job on the battlefield mostly consisted in taking out key targets such as Medics, high damage classes and most importantly; Engineers and their buildings.
He leaned his head closer to the machine, blew out smoke and asked; "Does it have a recharge time like ze original one?"
"Ah'm not sure, haven't tested the darn thing yet, but ah guess we gotta give it a trah! Who's up for a ride?"
The mercs remained silent, until Heavy discretely pushed Medic forwards. Medic was the other smart one in the team, if his intelligence wasn't shrouded with insanity he would've had a physics Nobel prize or some egghead related shit like that..... Anyways, he was a tall german man wearing a lab coat with pants inside of boots at their end and wore glasses that were slighlty lowered.
"So you're volunteerin' eh Doc?" asked the Engineer
"Vhat?! NO! I vill not test any prototypes until I'm sure zhey're safe!" replied the doctor furiously.
"Heavy does not remember doktor saying that when he tested ÜberCharge," rumbled the Heavy.
"C'mon you wanka! Do it for science!" said the Sniper.
"Yeah, for science," agreed Scout.
The Medic sighed, shook his head while muttering "Dummkopfs" and stood on the Teleporter. Then Engineer set the coordinates to the outside of the base in order to not take too much risk, then pressed - you probably guessed didn'tcha? - the big red button. Next the Medic was teleported leaving red particles behind him, then they heard a triumphant voice yelling out, "It vorked! IT VORKED!!"
The sadist came back running with a huge smile on his face saying, "God in heaven! Imagine ze possibilities zat ve have now! Ve could back-cap vizh a click, or teleport to ze enemy base and spawn camp zhem, or-MMMMPPH MMMPH!!" he was silenced by a black glove with yellow finger tips.
"Well let's not get too enthusiastic partner, ah still got some tweaks to do like tyin' a gun to it or makin' it Spah proof-"
"But of course," said Spy's voice.
What they saw next shocked them so much that they froze; the BLU Spy uncloacked atop of the Interdimensional Teleporter and placed a Sapper on it, he thought he would get it destroyed but what happened was different. A tornado of teleporter particles started spinning around the room, the REDs were getting sucked into the center of the machine while the BLU Spy was getting knocked away, then a flash turned everything white for 3 seconds and when the saboteur's eyes retrieved proper sight the RED team was gone and the Teleporter was scrapped, "Oh no, what have I done...."
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Meanwhile, in the middle of Nowhere
Demoman was floating in the middle of nothing. For a moment, he thought he was dead without respawning but he dismissed this idea and convinced himself he drank to excess....again. He then heard a familiar voice, "Bloody Hell! Medic!"
The One-Eyed explosives master floated his way towards the voice, where he saw the German sadist spinning uncontrollably. After stopping him from doing more nausea inducing spins he was about to ask Medic if he was drunk but was interrupted, "There you are you European maggots! The rest of the team is here!" Soldier said pointing to the 6 other members.
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A few moments later...
"Now," began Spy, "care to explain what ze f*ck happened?!" he said in a panicked voice which was rare to hear from the calm frenchman.
"We're in an interdimensional portals intersection," started Engineer.
"English please?" said Scout, clearly not understanding the concept.
"We're in a wormhole that seperates worlds from each other, so basically the chances of finding the portal to our world," he sighed and shook his head, "are very low....."
The mercenaries went silent, the only sound to hear was their breathing and the vortex sucking them..... wait, the vortex sucking them?! The moment they realized they're moving against their own will it was too late; the 9 men had gained an incredible amount of speed and were heading towards a tiny light in the middle of the darkness. One last scream of terror and they went through, at the beginning the light was blinding them and when their visions went clear they noticed they were..... Plummeting towards a forest at 100 MPH! "Buckle up boys!" yelled Engineer, "We're about to land hard!"
Scout's instincts made him Air-Jump at the last second, while the others simply planted their faces into the ground. "Hohoho man! You would not be-lieve! How useful this double jump is!" he announced proudly, "but... where are we?!"
"MMMPH MPH MMM MMPH MMPH MMMPH!" declared Pyro.
Everyone looked at Engineer hoping for a translation "Pyro says it thinks we're in another world."
"Yeah, NO SHIT! How are we supposed to go back now?!" he then opened his mouth and let a long and loud yawn.
"Let us first find ze locals and try and pacify vizh zhem," replied Medic, "Let Spy and Engineer do ze talking, since zhey ze most polite of us- *yawn* I don't know vhy.... but I suddenly feel *yawn* sleepy..." he fell to the ground asleep.
"Huh...Heavy feel....funny," and down he goes.
"Must....Not....Sleeee-*yawn*" and it was Soldier's turn, and so one by one they fell unconscious. However they did not see what was happening to them during their sleep.....
To be Continued...
Author's Note
BOOYA! I DID IT! After suffering from the biggest writer's block in FanFic history, I DID IT!
I hope I didn't ruin all the hype the openning chapters built.
I learned that writing while listening to Tristam isn't very productive.
Report any grammatical mistakes in the comment section.
Chapter III - Busted
The mercenaries were uncomfortable, not only were they dimensions away from home but they were also in bodies that weren't their's. Plus, in the case of Medic and Pyro the thirst for the kill was driving them insane, they need to see blood, to pepper someone with Shotgun pellets, to bludgeon them to death with a Ham Shank or a Frying Pan. The smushiness of this world was unbearable.
"From what city or cities do you ponies come from?" asked Twilight, giving everyone mini-heart attacks.
"Well uh..." Scout tried to think of something smart, but couldn't, "um... ye see..."
"Judging from your accent, I'm guessing you're from Bostrot, correct?" interrupted Twilight.
"Yeah sure!" Engineer felt a little uncomfortable about his teammate lying.
"And you're probably from Germaneigh right?" Twilight asked Medic, who was slightly annoyed by the pun but nodded, causing Engineer's head to start trembling from these lies.
"Mind if me and mah friends talk alone for a bit, ma'am?" he asked
"No, sure go ahead!" she did however smell something fishy about this little "talk".
Engineer waved at his teammates and the 9 killers gathered up in a circular fashion, "Boys, you know we'll get busted sooner or later if we wanna get outta this mess, ah suggest we tell the truth right now!" the Texan technician said.
"How about we wait for the opportunity, snap their necks and take that blonde horse's hat" Soldier's stupidity suggested. Everyone (Including the insane Medic and Pyro) facehoofed at the american patriot's lack of intelligence.
"First, zhey are ponies. Second, I would like to keep a good reputation amongst ladies." declared Spy as he adjusted his tie.
"Ah suggest we tell the honest, truth and ask their help!" said the Texan, almost screaming.
"And if they decline we burn this forest to the ground!" cheered Pyro almost childishly.
"No Pyro! Bad!" replied Engie as if talking to a 4 years old.
"Ok, burning forests, bad Pyro!" she agreed.
Little did they know, the mane 6 were having a discussion of their own, "Ok, these ponies are like, the weirdest." complained Rainbow Dash, "Did you see their Cutie Marks? And how weird they walk? It's like they are trying to stand on their hindlegs! You can't be seriously taking them to Ponyville!"
"I kind of agree with you. But let's not judge a book by it's cover, remember Zecora?" replied Twilight Sparkle.
"Besides, ah couldn't smell a lie from them."
"And I have a party to make for them!"
"We'll host them for a short period and get them back on their tracks ok?"
"But couldn't they be somehow related to what we saw falling above Everfree?" suggested Rarity.
"I'm not sure, we'll see when we reach the town."
Both sides finished discussing at the same time and were eyeing each other suspiciously. The walk continued silently until they arrived to Ponyville "Well, this it! Welcome to Ponyville!" said Twilight.
Everypony was giving the RED team 'dat look' making them feel even more uncomfortable, when suddenly they heard loud growls coming from their stomachs, it was appearently audible enough to be heard by the Mane 6, "Hey! Maybe you should take a bite at Sugar Cube Corner!" suggested Twilight "Pinkie will guide you there, right Pin-"
"Hey! Do you want cupcakes? Muffins? Pies? OH I KNOW! I'll bake you some Muffinpiecakes!!!" When she popped up in front of their faces, Demoman reflexively pulled out the Frying Pan. Like seriously this pony is going to traumatize them more than the 7 years of fighting their own copies did!
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A few moments later...
The mercenaries entered what appeared on the outside to be a bakery with a gingerbread or chocolate roof. Inside were two Earth Ponies; a stallion with a light brilliant amber coat, light orange tail and mane and a distinctively extended lower jaw, he was tall and somewhat skinny. The second pony was a blue, chubby mare with a pink mane and tail shaped like cupcake frosting; they were Mr. and Mrs. Cake, "Hello, Pinkie Pie!" greeted Cup Cake. "I see you have some new friends!"
"Oh yeah! We found them in the Everfree and they're really weird!" replied Pinkie, not bothering the fact that the mercs' ears were rigth behind her. "They've been trying to stand on their hindlegs and walk with them, and their names are job names! Ooh! I wanna have a job name too!"
Carrot Cake simply chuckled while shaking his head and asked, "What would you like to order?"
"You, will lend me a cupcake! Do you understand that?" Ordered Soldier.
"Uhh... Alright!" replied the now frightened Carrot Cake.
"Guess we'll all go for a cupcake." said Engineer.
But the hardest part so far was not walking or accepting that they may not go back to their world; it was trying to eat with hooves. Heavy had no problem since he ate his treat with one loud chomp. Sniper and Scout balanced their cupcakes on their hooves while flying and Soldier tried to pick his up as if he had fingers, while everyone stared strangely at the Unicorns and how they weren't using their magic. "Uhh.... Maybe you should levitate the cupcake?" suggested Pinkie.
"Do ve look like magicians or vizards to you?" asked Medic sarcastically.
Spy cleared his throat, poked the doctor to get his attention and pointed at a mint coated Unicorn levitating a book and reading it, both her horn and the tome were surrounded by a golden aura. Medic looked up to his horn and his teammates knew what was coming, it started with a mad giggle that quickly crescendoed into a maniacal laugh. "Zhis is fascinating! I must discover everything about ze functionality of horns!" at least he wouldn't feel homesick or bloodthristy if he keeps himself busy with researches, so this was a relief for Medic and his team.
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A few moments later...
After they left the bakery and took a spoonful of ponies eyeing them weirdly, they arrived to a discret part of the town and took advantage to start talking a little more freely. "Now, what do you think we do to go back to our world?" asked Heavy.
"We have seen zhat it's possible to levitate objects via telekinesis, there's bound to be a teleportation spell. My suggestion? We convince zhe locals about bringing us back to our dimension." said Spy.
"And if we tell em' that we're killers, they'll want us outta here quick!" declared Engineer "Or they'll execute us..." he thought to himself.
"Aye, but first things first lad, we need a place ta crash!" reminded Demoman.
"Right... Anyone got ideas? Ah'm open for suggestions"
"The crates-" started Pyro.
"This ain't the time for unboxing Pyro."
"No Engie, we can-"
"Look, ah promise ah'll get you a strange Axtinguisher but not now. So..." Engineer went silent when he saw everyone slowly backing away from him with "oh shit" expressions on their faces. He looked to his side and found Pyro literally on fire. The flames were covering her entire body and she had an angry look, but then Engie's face was covered by a triumphant smile when he saw that her horn was surrounded by an orange aura and that her body didn't combust from the flames.
"LISTEN TO ME!" she then instantly extinguished herself and being more calm "We open the crates, we empty them, we sleep in em' OKAY?!" she was lit once more on that last word. "And I'll trade you any stranges that don't belong to me for 2 refs!"
"Scammer!" muttered Sniper.
"Pyro?"
"Yeah?"
"Ah think ah know where your flamethrowers and suit went..."
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Golden Oak Library
Twilight was about to start writing a letter to the princess to inform her about her dream and these strange outsiders, but she heard a knock on the door (Too many interruption in this fanfic, eh?).
Speak of the devil, at her door was none other than Princess Celestia and her sister Princess Luna with a guard at each one's side. Twilight forgot all of her worries when she saw her teacher, "Princess Celestia!" she exclaimed as she hugged her, the taller mare returning the affection. Twilight would then greet Princess Luna, the two astral sisters always looking majestic with their manes flowing in their own invisible stream of wind.
But Twilight's contentment was soon replaced with concern, because having the Princesses visit her after all the shenanigans cannot be a coincidence. "Princess, may I ask why you're visiting Ponyville?"
Celestia took a more serious a look and said. "This morning, Luna and I felt a sudden surge of energy. It came from Ponyville and exactly from the Everfree Forest."
"It's aura was so powerful," Continued Luna. "We could see it back in Canterlot. Stronger than Discord, or Chrysalis at the peek of her strength." She then looked thoughtful and shuddered, "Stronger than Nightmare Moon." remembering how powerful she was.
"Princess, I think I know... what caused this..."
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Meanwhile, at the outskirts of Ponyville
After Sniper's note about the mercs who lost their weapons becoming unicorns, the mare they witnessed levitating a book and Pyro bursting into flames while her horn had an aura around it Engineer concluded one thing; the missing weapons became magic spells they cast with their horns.
Medic was able to create a healing beam as well as a Quick-Fix ÜberCharge, Spy learned how to cloak and disguise, Engineer earned the capability to generate the Short Circuit's electric charge as well as teleportation and Pyro... well, she was being Pyro! What they had in common after this was that they all mastered Telekenesis.
After testing their new powers the REDs had opened the crates and used them as beds. Well, they did of course do some trades and Soldier was lucky as always tand unboxed his 11th unusual; an Unusual Team Captain with a "Sunbeams" effect. Medic and Heavy tried to scam the not-so-intelligent american and ended up receiving a yellow glove in the back of the head.
But the nine mercenaries were unable to sleep. They were too thoughtful, the ones who had families couldn't get their loved ones out of their heads. Even Demoman was having insomnia!
"Anyvone up for a game of poker?" asked Medic, trying to find a way to kill time and his friends' homesickness.
"I'll play," replied Engineer.
"Count me in," Said Sniper as he joined them.
The three men kept playing and sipping beer while the others got drowsy enough and went to sleep. The tiredness hit the last three men as well so they decided to call it day.
A loud thunderous roar was heard echoing through the forest, awakening the REDs who went to sleep.
"Lads, did you hear that?" asked Sniper.
"Heeelp!" cried a voice from afar.
"I guess this is our cue!" the australian picked up his rifle and sheathed his kukri, taking off at high speeds.
"Sniper, wait!" Engineer tried to stop him, "Aw hell!"
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Meanwhile...
Trixie was traveling and the Everfree Forest happened to be on her way, "Don't be afraid, you are the Great and Powerful Trixie after all!" she thought, comforting herself.
She walked in the dark woods for a minute before a hungry growl bursted her bubble of tranquility. Gulping hard and slowly turning around, she spotted a pair of shinning green eyes that soon increased in number by three more pairs stalking their pray,
"Oh dear!"
One loud roar and the Timberwolves charged at the defenceless showmare who ran like her life depended on it... No wait, it did.
In a desperate attempt of saving herself she yelled at the top of her lungs, "HEEELP!"
The chase continued for a solid minute before the showmare found a huge tree in her way and was cornered. Gathering up all her courage, she prepared herself to blast the Timberwolves with her magic but failed as the fear was affecting her.
"See ya!" *BOOM* *Click*. Trixie didn't understand what happened, but whatever made that noise must've been the reason why one of the beasts had a perfectly round hole in it's head and was collapsing into pieces that fell to the ground. The same sound was heard and this time, the targeted Timberwolf was decapitated. "Thanks for the target practice, ya wooden bigheaded drongos!" taunted a male voice.
One of the beasts turned towards the source of the voice howled at it but was silenced by that same noise and a hole in it's forehead. A pegasus landed in front of the last timberwolf, revealed some sort of contraption and pulled it's trigger, peppering the beast with small projectiles. "That was too easy, mate," he said calmly.
Meanwhile, Trixie was dumbfounded by the scene, her face expressed pure awe as her bottom jaw was lowered with her mouth being closed. Sniper went up and to her and to check up on her, "You alright there sheila?"
Trixie was slapped back to reality and looked at the stallion adressing her, "I-I'm fine... The Great and Powerful Trixie is always fine," she was still frightened from the experience but quickly retrieved her cockiness.
"Glad to hear that," Sniper turned around and was about to leave.
"Wait!" the australian stopped without looking back at her, "How can Trixie thank you?"
"Stay outta trouble," he answered "you'll do me and yourself a favor." At that moment Engineer and Medic arrived, and saw the carnage Sniper caused.
"Got the job done, aussie?" asked Engineer with a proud grin on his face. The assassin nodded and walked towards his teammates but stopped again and looked at Trixie.
"Oi! Need help finding the way?" when the showmare nodded Sniper made a sign with his hoof so that she'd follow them. However, they heard the sound of wooden logs rolling and saw the last thing they wanted to see; a Timberwolf about four times it's normal size, the fallen wolves had appearently gathered into one humangous beast.
It swung it's claw at Sniper, but Medic shoulder blocked his teammate out of the way taking the hit instead and getting knocked into the ground. The rest of the team quickly arrived and even "quicklier" reacted to the scene.
(FUCK GRAMMAR)
Pyro set the wooden beast on fire causing it to turn to ashes. She laughed manically all the while bursting flames at (what was left of) the Timberwolf.
"Pyro?" called her Engineer.
"Yeah?"
"Ah think you killed the thing,"
"Oh! Ok!" she cut her act of arsonism and turned her attention to the injured doctor.
Trixie didn't know what to fear now; the wild creatures that attacked or the monstrosities that saved her. She shivered in fear and started to slowly back away when she noticed a chariot with two Alicorns and one Unicorn in it; Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and Twilight Sparkle.
All three appearently watched the scene from the beginning, and weren't any less shocked than Trixie.
"Twilight? Are these the ponies you suspected?" asked Celestia.
"Yes... It's them!"
To Be Continued...
