Tell me please.

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Fallen to pieces.
Replacement parts.
Almost new

Fallen to pieces.

“Um… I-I’m sorry, but could you please repeat that?”

Princess Cadence had never been asked such a thing her entire life. She lay upon the extravagant, regal couch, her smile faltering due to confusion.

She was in one of the many grand rooms that Canterlot Castle had to offer. A rich lavender painted the walls as a row of book shelves lined the one behind her, freshly dusted and immaculate. A balcony exit was to her left where the evening sun passed through the glass planes and fell upon the unlit fireplace. It had intricate floral patterns carved into the surface, mirroring the pleasant blue rug dividing the princess and her conversational partner.

“Really?” he said, leaning onto his hand as his elbow rested upon the arm of his couch. His peaked eyebrow and the sprouting smirk displayed his amusement. “Wow. Kinda saw this coming but at the same time thought you’d handle it better.” His other hand fell upon the lounging fox resting her head on his lap, his finger working beneath the studded black collar. The name ‘Roxanne’ was inscribed in cursive upon a silver plate.

He was a human- Equestria’s only human. Despite having been in the world for over ten months the novelty of meeting a fabled being never wore off for many ponies, especially Cadence. She could count the number of times she’d met him upon her prime feathers alone, but that meant she could see the changes in him in a staged fashion. It was like tracking his progress in a way.

For starters, he’d been going bare chested for the past three visits; in the beginning she had seen him without clothing (well stitched she might add) upon his upper body but ever since he had always been fully clothed. He looked as surprised as she was when Twilight opened his room door as he was about to take off his pants. Now his fuzzy, lightly tanned chest was exposed for all.

He also once had a little bit of, what she would adorably describe as, ‘squidge’ to his belly. He was also scrawny but broad in structure. It was easy to write him off as a balding minotaur but that would be along the lines of equating dragons to crocodiles because they’re both reptilian.

He lacked horns and she had no idea what were in his shoes but the long shape was not suited for hooves. He wore a brown pair of pants, the lid of a little cylindrical tube poking out of the pocket. She just imagined more hands at the end of his now-thicker legs. He had definitely built muscle in the passing time and it was something easily tracked between when they bumped into each other. He was fit and toned and if it weren’t for knowing him, through reports from Twilight and time spent together, she could now easily see him as an intimidating member of his species.

It was particularly due to how his expressions were sometimes so subtle they were easy to miss. Maybe she wasn’t as good at reading other species as Celestia, Luna, and Blue Blood had become, but she was at least assured that the ex-Elements of Harmony still had trouble to this day.

His eyes weren’t exactly small, but they were a dark earth tone and lacked the expressiveness of a pony. That smirk was of a predator catching prey off guard, but maybe that was flight or fight whining in the back of mind. He had brown locks stylishly combed back and over. Sharp features gave him an aggressive look even when he offering a genial smile, but he was otherwise pleasant.

“Are you, err, is this really what you wanted to ask me?” Cadence asked, tucking her gilded hooves beneath her. When he nodded slowly with his eyes elsewhere she turned her attention to her hooves. After a pregnant pause she shot her head back up with a small frown.

“What the hay is wrong with you?!”

“Oooooooh where to begin?” he replied instantly with faux exasperation.

“You can’t ask the Princess of Love that!” she shot back, her voice elevating in volume slightly.

“Evidently…” he muttered whilst massaging the bridge of his nose with his free hand.

“William, you can’t ask me ‘How do I stop myself from falling in love’ and not expect me to be a little bit annoyed by that. You came to me to ask that?” Cadence reiterated, her wigs rustling. She wasn’t livid, far from it, but at the same time she hated the thought of love withering and dying. If she could help it was her job, destiny, and duty to ensure love flourished wherever she went.

There was a short paused as William scratched the back of his neck. His discomforted expression didn’t go amiss, both by her or by the fox it seemed. The vixen sat up, her dark legs pawing at his chest as his hand graced her orange back. She gently head-butted his chin and the man let out a rumbling chuckle.

“Look… I’m sorry,” he began with a sad smile, “It’s just that I need to know this, Princess.”

“Cadence, it’s just Cadence as always, Will.” Her scolding expression eased into a sympathetic look as she tilted her head. “Whatever’s bothering you must be that bad, huh?”

Her horn sparked to life with glittery magic. A phantom blue aura engulfed a nearby cushion as the sound of wind chimes in a summer breeze met the human’s ears. A ghost of a smile, a hidden nostalgia, appeared on her maw.

“Am I gonna have to prep the pillows and call Twily and Aunty Luna for reinforcements or are we good on the whole first name bases thing?”

She could see the memories flash in his eyes; the recognition of the promise, not a threat, had been bolstered as he recalled the torturous process that lead to him finally removing the prefix ‘Princess’ prior to talking to her in private.

“Any other time I’d take you and the other mad mares on, but…” His smile was genuine, so she wasn’t offended by the rolling hand gesture, a universal symbol of ‘let’s get on with it’.

“Oh, wow, okay,” Cadence began, gently tossing the pillow regardless. It shot lazily towards his head as she then brought a hoof to her chin. He simply raised a hand and batted it to the side and away from his lazing pet.

“Thanks for trying to cheer me up though,” he added with an upbeat tone.

“What are friends for?” she replied with a pleased grin. Her eyes lit up as realisation struck her as the feeling of uplifting a friend’s spirit warmed her. However, the sight of his returned sagged demeanor caused her ears to lower as concern returned to her features.

“For asking tough questions that need answering,” he said with melancholy poisoning his tone, “For giving advice to help a friend in need.”

There was a long pause between the two. Cadence watched him take deep, cleansing breathes as her own mind formulated an answer. It drifted between weakly forged sentences, none sounding better than fortune cookie nonsense. The only other activity in the room came from the fox who leant over the chair and swiveled her pointed ears at the door before resting on his lap again.

“Who is it?”

He slowly turned his head to the side, leaning back into seat. His eyes roamed the horizon in thought.

It wasn’t the answer to the question, that much was obvious, but she needed more information. It could play a crucial role and provide critical information if she knew the mare whilst alternatively it could be a waste of time and-

“Does that matter?” The sudden response caught her off guard and left her blinking owlishly. “Because regardless of who it is, aren’t I going to start off with the same problems?”

“I suppose…” Cadence replied slowly, her mind processing the data. She had to take his body language into consideration, a fact Twilight was willing to prove if her thesis was coming along as swimmingly as she claimed, and thus she began to take notes.

He wasn’t looking at her. He was dodging the question as to who he ‘like –liked’. Finally, he felt that he shouldn’t date said pony.

…

There was only one possible logical answer in her mind.

With a brief wide eyed shock she raised a hoof to her mouth. She bit her lip before clearing her throat.

“Is it me?!” she blurted, her blood freezing as his eyebrows flared up. Mechanically, he turned to face her with a stunned expression. “Sorry, I didn’t mean just say it like that.” His twitching cheek left her embarrassed. I’m so sorry for just ripping that out of you. She brought her hooves to her face and groaned. “I didn’t mean to be so tactless, it kind of-“

A small snort stopped her rant.

Looking up she found him biting his knuckle with nothing less than pure mirth sparkling in his eyes. Her guilt fled instantly as she gave him a deadpanned look, ears flopping down and a burning frown forming on her brow.

“Go ahead.”

He simply shook his head and had the largest smirk she’d ever seen him wear plastered on his maw. William tried to speak at times but lost to what she could only label as ‘amused hiccups’, where he abruptly huffed out air and would shake on the spot. The vixen in his lap rolled over and strolled to the other side of the couch, wrapping herself up in her tail after shooting the man a dirty look.

Points for not laughing in my face, she conceded as she sat up to fold her arms in a mocking attempt to mirror the man as he held his stomach. She pouted to the wall until he finally laughed like a normal person, heartily, for a few seconds.

When he finished he sighed before shooting her a cheeky smile.

“Well, someone thinks highly of themselves.”

“Hey, this sort of conversation happens all the time and it’s always like that!” Cadence retorted with as much dignity as one defending the importance of high school romance could. She even went as far too point her muzzle into the air. “And I don’t like the way you reacted to that either so say you’re sorry.”

“I am sorry that the married pretty pink princess before me is not my crush.”

“The Pretty Pink Princess will forgive those who divulge their secrets,” she replied before pointing a fierce stare towards him. “So spill.” Hers and his smile formed simultaneously.

“I really don’t see how it matters,” he said, his smile faltering a little, “I don’t know what to do with my problems so… need your advice on how to stop my feeling developing further so that I don’t have to live with loving someone but never being able to be a couple.”

“And who dares says you can’t be a couple?” Cadence replied, emphasising the word with a hint of venom.

If there was one things she hated it was ponies trying to control who was supposed to love who. She was different as it wasn’t so much saying ‘this is the pony you will love and will you love them back’ between two ponies, rather asking ‘do you both remember why you love each in the first place?’ Sure she had magic that could help but again it merely conjured cherished memories not planted emotions in ponies.

“My physiology, biology, me personally, and society say so,” he replied as he listed them on the fingers of one hand. He said it plainly too, as if it was supposed to be obvious for her. Sure, his outward appearance might be intimidating, but she knew some girls like dangerous things in order to make them cuddly.

Now’s not the time for foolishness, she thought.

“Sounds like something Twilight told you to say.” Cadence replied to lighten the mood, her smile disappearing as a thought crossed her mind. “Wait, is it-“

“I haven’t spoken to her about this,” he said catching her trail of thought and shaking his head. “I mostly handle things myself and speak up when I need help.”

“Yeah, I recall Twily was none too impressed the last time you took initiative.” Cadence replied wearily, massaging her temples.

“Are you taking a dig about that one garden party?”

“When a pony is accuses you of being a barbaric, meat eating beast in clothing, the correct answer is not ‘you do not have to worry then, we can’t eat anything that’s been spoiled’.” She said, her voice deepening mockingly as she quoted him.

“So that was a dig at that one garden party, not advice to help me,” he replied, causing her to whine a little. Her head fell onto the arm of her chair as she scrunched her muzzle. After a small sigh she spoke.

“I’m not used to telling ponies how to not feel, how not pursue happiness.” Her tail swished before she brought it to her side. “It make me feel sick. It goes against everything I stand for, William.”

“I get it,” he responded after a short pause, his hands slipping to his knees. He leant forward, startling the fox as her head shot towards her owner. “I’m sorry-“

“Why?” she interrupted.

“Well for one thing you said you felt uncomfor-“

“No, I mean, why do you believe that you can’t have a special somepony?” The princess watched as he remained halfway through the process of standing up, his backside lingering above the couch. He fell back down onto his seat and moments before would speak, Roxanne then hopped off the couch and slinked over towards the balcony doors.

With both their attentions she began to paw at it. The sight caused the princess to giggle.

“Looks like somepony needs a little fresh air,” she commented as she unlocked the door with her magic. An idea dawned upon as the sun set. “Do you want to continue this outside, Will?”

“I was about to ask the same thing.”

With the cooling air of dusk embracing the half-naked man, William found himself folding his arms as he reclined on the wooden bench. It was rather simplistic, easily forgotten compared to the lush flowers potted around the balcony entrance and the pegasi cherubs engraved onto the stone railing.

Roxanne had gotten bored of sniffing the edges, yelping, mewling and barking at things happening below. In the end William had to call her over and put her on his stomach, half for control half for the shared warmth. Although the view of a mountain top city catching the final light of a glorious day never stopped being amazing, it was still a mountain top city where the temperature was unkind to those without a coat of fur. Thankfully it was summer, hence the reason why he felt comfortable going shirtless these days.

Cadence entered the balcony after departing half an hour ago and had returned with a tray bearing a tea pot and two cups. It was all fine china as far as he knew, the alabaster tea set seeming ornate and precious with jade ivory growing from the handle. Seeing her approach, he sat up and slid along to make room for her majesty. She placed the steaming teapot upon a nearby table and then perched herself beside the man.

“Now, have you had time to think about what why you supposedly can’t have a special somepony?” she said casually as she used her magic to pour out the tea.

“I’ve been stuck with this problem for a solid month, an extra thirty minutes of thought won’t make the problem go away,” William noted as he rubbed behind Roxanne’s ears. The cute face of pure bliss made Cadence desperate to hold the fox herself.

“But ignoring the problem for a month seems to be going so well,” she pointed out whilst suppressing a grin. Instantly, the content off the tea cup floating in front of her became far more interesting than William’s attempt to pierce his cheek with his tongue.

“I’ll give you that one.”

“So, come on, out with it,” she coaxed before taking a small sip. “Just let it all out, I won’t interrupt.” The second steaming cup floating in front of the man, exciting the olfactory senses of the fox as she daintily sniffed it. “Then you get to drink whilst I talk.”

“Baiting a Brit with tea, huh?” he replied with a frown slowly forming. He shook his head, Cadence only catching the phrase ‘American’ before reclining back once more.

“What was that?” she inquired as the cup hovered towards the table beside her.

“So Rarity finishes taking my measurements again, she does that flirting banter thing and I play the game for amusements sake.” he started turning his face to her. He ignored her suspicious squinting and continued petting Roxanne as the fox pressed her head into his chest. “She then wonders off to handle another customer whilst letting me redress.” He was silent for a while, his hands slipping around Roxanne as he pulled her close.

“I start thinking about how you guys see me. I’m different so that guarantees the stares at first until ponies get to know me, but I bet I could walk up and down Canterlot, Cloudsdale, and Appleloosa for months and still turn heads for the wrong reasons.”

He rested his chin atop his pet earning a little whimper from her.

“I’ve never really taken most of Rarity’s compliments…. about my appearance seriously, you know? When she says I’m a gentlecolt for something… I’ll believe it; she says that I look dapper… in a suit? She’s impressed by…my developed strength?” He pursed his lips and gently shook his head side to side. He then sharply exhaled through his nose.

“Sounds… hallow. She doesn’t strike me as the type who’d actually date outside her species.”

“William…” Cadence muttered, reaching over to rest a hoof on him. “I’m sure-”

“Must apply to everypony, I think,” William adds. “Makes sense. There’s got to be a lot of issues too.”

Princess Cadence may not be the best at judging other species facial expressions, but even if it’s a human’s the signs are similar. His eyes were glistening over, not quite tearing up but she could already sense them about the go over the edge. She could also hear the tightness in his throat, the cause of his pauses. His stare wasn’t at anything, it simply lingered somewhere along the bottom of the balcony railing if she bothered to guess. He still has that smile but in this new light she can only say it’s one of resignation.

“You want to hear my problems none stop? Fine.” His voiced had demoted itself to a whisper, no longer the jovial one he used. His tone was of self-pity, not as if everything he said had to sound like a one liner. He took a deep breath and leant back.

“Firstly I’m reminded on how biologically I would never be compatible with ponies- I’m simian based and you’re all equine. That means there’s no basic instinct to find me attractive, and even if we did try, the act of getting a mare pregnant is impossible.”

Perhaps it was seeing him on the brink of tears that prevented those sort of images from flashing in her mind. He continued speech.

“Everyone says it’s the greatest honour and experience, and beyond that it’s the point of life. If a species can’t reproduce or replicate it’s doomed from the start! I ca-can’t take that away from a woman! I can’t be the reason she can’t be a mother.” He adds before his breath hitches. It doesn’t stops him, he merely takes another steadying deep breathe.

“Not to mention the social exclusion. I sometimes relax with Rainbow by the lake, we’re both decent swimmers and aren’t afraid of a bit of rough housing. Word got around that she and I were a thing and some racist bastard on the weather team bitched about it and tried to make our lives hell! Did the same thing for Applejack too when I help from time to time, except Big Mac nearly went berserk as a result. In the end, me and him made sure the bastard got what was coming to him, scared the sod a little, but by that point the damage was done!”

By now Cadence had sat up, shocked at the transformation of the man and the news. She had a hoof to her maw and her heart aching for the creature she began to pity further by the second. He'd always been jovial, smiling as if he had finally found peaces these days. She would say stop, she would have placed a comforting hoof, but something told her to let it all play out.

“Who could I do that to? I couldn’t get intimate with anyone outside Ponyville in case something like that happens. Restaurants might ban us, hotels might keep us out, maybe I could pull the ‘I know the princess’ card but that not my style, and I just wouldn’t want the fuss. How could I get a good job anywhere else? I’m a handy man now whilst I work on my citizenship but after that? What then? Diamond dogs and minotaurs don’t exactly do what I wanted to do.”

Before she could ask, he took another deep breath and continued, despite Roxanne’s yapping. His voice had risen but was on the verge of cracking.

“Who’s to say I’ll even get accepted in the first place? I might get rejected, and it’s not just the typical melodrama bullshit, but if ponies think I’m more of a freak than I am, than I’ve become , then what?” William only paused to rub his eyes as Cadence stood upon the bench. She took a single step closer before she noticed how red the area around his eyes had gotten.

No…no, please don’t, William.

“William, sweetie, you can stop-“ She wanted to reach out and hold him, to simply offer support. She’d never seen him like this, then again she’d seen him less than ten times. Regardless, she wanted to whisper that everything would be okay and to sooth him. Until stopped herself when he started to clench his fists and bear a menacing scowl.

“And. Then. There’s. Me.”

Those four words were spoken with the utmost malice, each one spat rather than pronounced.

“I’m a self-indulging pig! Polite when I needed to be, a bastard behind backs, I was plain as dirt back home. Did nothing but sit on my arse feeling sorry for myself when nothing went my way, but guess what the worst part was?”

Cadence almost fired off a concussion blast of magic in self-defence when his attention snapped to her. Thankfully, Shining’s recommended spells didn’t need to come out. Her heart nearly stopped when he gripped Roxanne, startling the fox as it was roughly planted on the floor between his legs. Confused, the fox didn’t budge as William quickly pushed himself up and off the bench.

“I fucking realised what my problems were and… I KNEW WHAT TO DO TO FIX THEM ALL!” he roared, his breathing becoming rapid. He briskly marched towards the stone railing. “Don’t get me wrong, Princess, I had friends!” he stated as he turned on the spot and pointed at himself, “but I was too lazy to go out!”

“William, calm down.” Though she tried to calm down the man, her order fell on death ears. She quickly hopped off the bench as Roxanne scampered towards her master. She really didn’t like him wondering about in this mood.

“I wanted to get fit and healthy,” he added, slapping his sizeable bicep. “I wanted to be juuuust a little bit more cultured,” he finished in an unnerving whisper. He spread his arms wide, stopping in the centre of the balcony. “I do that here! I’ve been hanging out with friends here! I can research topics relevant to today and the past here!”

He dropped both of his arms only to use his right hand to point sternly at the floor. “I’ve been getting better mentally and physically HERE, but not when it fucking mattered back THEN!

“William, listen to me, please. You’re scaring me.” Cadence tried again, her eyes flickering towards Roxanne still whimpering and pawing at his legs. “You’re scaring Roxanne too,” she added, slowly prowling closer. He only continued to step back, his arm going slack.

“I probably should be, that’s normal, Princess.” His tone had returned to normal, his words sounding broken as he now looked. “It’s normal to be scared, I know. It makes us do stupid things,” he added, looking to the edge of the balcony. “Makes us look and sound like we’re going to do stupid things too. I know I scared you.”

Seeing him calm bolstered her courage, and so Cadence gingerly stepped closer. He didn’t move, and neither spoke as she took careful steps. Roxanne was nipping at his fingers, stirring life as they stroked her nose and teeth absentmindedly.

“Does this really scare you, sweetie?” The alicorn asked merely a few steps away. “Are you scared of falling in love with a pony?” He had eyes brimming with tears and a hoarse voice as he gazed into hers which could only relay her pure compassion and sympathy. They were warm, welcoming, and terrified at the same time.

“I think a lot when I’m scared, it helps.” He finally muttered, stepping back away from her.

“No, please wait-“

“I know somepony would catch me if I jumped, I know I’d scare you if I did, you’d never look at me the same if I did, just like how you’re never going to look at me the same ever again.” His voice hardly held mirth, merely mimicked it as a tired clown would, “I’m not going to jump, Princess.” He finished with a hallow chuckle. When it ended he added, “I haven’t stopped thinking since I got here long ago.”

He finally reached the other side of the balcony. Upon doing so he simply bumped into it and bounced back a little. It caught them both by surprise, both their eyes widening but their hearts calming when he came to a stop.

“I’ve been thinking to myself the same things, and since I guess I’m still talking I don’t see why I don’t tell you.” He took in another deep breathe, exhaling and leaning down to pet his whimpering fox. She nuzzled his hand affectionately as it slid to her cheek. Gently, he grabbed her snout and planted a small kiss between her ears. “Always there for me, eh?” he whispered. She licked his chin earning a smile. Standing back up he continued.

“Now, I’m doing everything I can to fix all that,” he said with an air of melancholy. He curled his left arm, tensing and causing the knotted muscles to bulge. “That’s a major improvement in seven months, but it’s not like I’m a body builder. I can even outrun a majority of Ponyville long distance wise, even out sprint a few, but that’s something cavemen could do back home. I can have decent conversations… about books now with Twilight, given it’s not about literary techniques, or requires in depth maths or physics knowledge.”

They both shared a chuckle, a small, bitter chuckle.

“She’s even got me hooked on constellations and philosophy now. I’m starting to get back into art too. Used a pencil for proper drawing for the first time since I chose my options back in high school- I dropped art because I thought I’d enjoy science more. I did, but it’s not really a cheap hobby. I just have this free time to fix my problems now between jobs.”

“What did you draw?” Cadence asked, slipping her hoof out of gilded horseshoe and reaching out for his hand, not the one Roxanne was rubbing her head against.

“I had Luna tutoring me for a week, was getting checked up on, so we kind off just drew stuff from the hospital bed whilst I waited for them to run tests. I’m a unique case, hence the three day stay over. We talked in between, it was surprisingly easy considering I’m from an advanced futuristic world in comparison, and she is from an archaic time. She lets me stay the extra days and I’m too polite to say no, every check-up had me getting just a bit better.” Before she could inquire, he cut her off. “It’s just been a monthly check up, they keep me here to check how my body’s coping from when I first got here.”

Cadence gently scooped his hand and slowly planted herself to the spot. He slowly, wearily looked down at her. She smiled, not because of what she was going to say but because he’d shown an expression; he arched a cynical eyebrow.

“I was actually going to ask if you had the hots for Aunty Luna,” her smile shifted to coy and he rolled his eyes. “Guess I’m wrong, huh?”

“I have a dream catcher and I put it up wherever I sleep; it really messes with her, says it’s like being caught in a fish net.” The image of the Lunar Diarch flopping around like a trapped fish in a net earned a giggle from her and an amused huff from him. “She hates it but is taking it on as a challenge. Sometimes I take it down to catch her off guard. Ends up waking me up when she powers through my dreams.”

“If a mare’s breaking into her colt’s house for his attention, then there’s something going on,” she added, subtly stroking his hand. He fell silent, his expression losing any sign of joy.

“We’ve gone off topic,” he muttered, his eyes flicking to his hand. “I’m not finished.”

“…Okay.”

“I’ve been fixing all my problems. I have friends that I actually go out and be with, it’s great. I suppose I should be content here, but I’m human and need more. I feel limited, like back home, and it’s a problem. But the one problem I can’t fix is this one. The one where I may or may not fall in love, and in the case that if I do… I couldn’t stop it.” He sighed, lowering his head. “I’m here to try and to find a solution that problem, but I can’t. The one problem I need to fix… forced me to do nothing about it.”

He looked back up, finding her waiting for his words, supporting him, comforting him. He closed his eyes, tightening them, pinning them down as he exhaled again. Liquid caked them as they opened, but not a single tear was shed.

“Because if I do try to do anything, all those terrible things will happen, Princess,” he said with a broken voice, “I don’t want to do any of that to someone I’m supposed to love, I don’t want to lose my friends because they see me differently now.” His hand slipped from her grasp and using his palm he rubbed both his eyes, not caring that he had fox saliva on the side of his face.

“I can’t lose my friends after losing my way home, I don’t want to just ignore the person I’m caring more and more for so that we can distance each other… I can’t hurt someone as badly as I’ve said either.” William’s body convulsed, racking through his abdomen and jerking him slightly. “So here’s the final issue, I guess. The one thing I’ve been holding in since I started changing all the way back when.”

Once again he made eye contact with her.

“I know what my problem is… and the world has changed so that I couldn’t do anything if I tried. Everything I’ve done to mend what was wrong before seem like pointless distractions.” With a final deep breath, and a final exhale, he added one last thought. “So Princess Cadence, please, how do I stop myself from falling in love?”

She had an answer. She’d bet her title, her cutie mark, and her life that it was the right thing to say. She didn’t want to say it. She thought he would take it well, it might hurt, but if he can consider so many reasons why it wouldn’t work out with a pony then she can say why there isn’t a way to fall out of love so easily.

“William,” she said sweetly as she took his hand again, “Love is not a destined thing, no matter what coincidence or stories would have you believe. It’s the building of a connection, one that roots itself deep into another’s heart and soul.”

She reared up on her hind legs, hooking her hooves over his shoulder. Now at eye level she bore her honest gaze into his startled own.

“If you won’t leave them alone, if you don’t want to lose the precious bond of friendship, then there is nothing you can do unless you bring this to them. If these feeling you have are fleeting, you must already know that they’re going to go, right?” She gently nodded, her grip tightening on his shoulders as her tail flickered. He solemnly nodded, his hands still keeping Roxanne company.

“And firstly, you don’t have to be scared of them rejecting you…silly,” she whispered, a coaxing smile catching his attention. “All stallions go through this as some point, some can always get over it and work up the courage to show how they truly feel.” She nuzzled his nose, sliding to his cheek as his arms mechanically slipped around her and beneath her wings.

“I hate this… I’ve tried not giving a damn and going day by day, like the girls and even Blue Blood say…” he whispered with shaken breath. “One day at a time... I tried not getting upset because what’s done is done and I just needed to focus on my own problems.”

She felt his grip tighten as they slid closer together.

“It just became so much…”

She felt her hooves came together over his back, a quiet shushing soon following.

“And, hey… ten months before breaking down isn’t too bad right?”

She felt his warm chuckle, a returning light in his dark despair as she offered soothing words of encouragement, pity, and compassion.

“… I’m so scared of what to do…”

She felt his sniffle and his legs buckle.

“I’m so scared… of being alone…”

She felt a tear run down her neck.

“I’m scared… Cadence.”

“I’ll help you,” she promised.

Author's Note

A short writing exercise to get me back into writing. It will be only 2 or 3 chapters longs, depending on whether I decide an epilogue is necessary.

Next chapter will cover Cadence's answer and an additional twist... also the origin of the pet fox.

Replacement parts.

Replacement parts

The night had come. From within the room the silver speckled black sky provided a mystical backdrop to Luna’s white eye in the sky, its glow seeping through the glass doors. It fought against the fierce glow of the fireplace, its warmth and light claiming half the room and half of both couches.

Cadence sat to the side closest to the fire, a hoof lazily gracing Roxanne who rested against the couch from where she lay upon the floor. The vixen had made a bee line for the princess after the human and she finally parted and had kept close to her since. For Cadence, who had conjured multiple solutions to his problems, there was one that seemed to solve it all. However, it was dangerous but it might be the answer he needed if the world would show mercy. She’d try other options too but her mind always returned to this one method.

The man himself sat on the shadowy half of the couch opposite her with nought but the lunar light to keep him company. He kept his head in his hands and only the sound of muffled deep breathes were heard. Cadence kept an eye on William, finishing her tea and leaving the set to the side on a table skirting the room. She would be patient before she planned to press further. William needed this break, this pause to recollect his thoughts, she knew that. It was also advantageous to plan ahead whilst he was quiet.

To her surprise he seemed ready to speak quicker than she imagined; William’s head slowly slid up from the top of his fingers and left only his bloodshot eyes visible to her.

“I can’t believe that actually happened,” he said with a stifled and shamed tone, “I honestly don’t know what to say. I don’t know whether to be embarrassed or not.” He sighed as he pulled his mouth from behind his hands, instead opting to lounge back and rest his hands on the top of his head. With a perplexed expression, after his mouth flapping at a loss of words, he gave up and groaned once again.

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed but you should feel foolish,” Princess Cadence chided like a scolding mother. Her scowl was up to par as well. “That wasn’t just about the crush, Will, that was gem shards in the horseshoe.”

“And here I thought Applejack was the only one to use that saying,” he replied with a faint smirk, turning to face her. He was weary, they both were, but whereas she merely had tussled bit of disobedient mane he was suffering with a haggard, tired stare. “But… yeah.”

“Did you really have to make such a show about all this?” Cadence inquired with a condescending, yet mirthful smile. “I don’t think you should have taken things that far.”

“Things really got to me out there, let my emotions get the better of me and before I knew it I was standing up and trying to get away from you.” He rubbed his eye, his other hand reaching for the tube in his pocket. “Like I said, we do stupid things when we’re scared and others think the worst when fear gets the best of everyone.” Using his thumb he popped the lid of what looked to be a prescription bottle.

“It’s been fifteen minutes at best and already you’re quoting yourself incorrectly.” Cadence remarked, earning a mock scowl from his as he slowly plundered a tablet. They both squinted harshly at each other as he gradually placed the rounded medicine upon his tongue and then gulped it down.

“You’re really going to be that picky?”

“Actually I’m about to get curious. What are those? Anti-depressants?” She pointed with a hoof at the man. Whilst William responded with an amused huff Roxanne batted at the hoof for attention.

“Protein pills, the kind you ponies feed your pets with a carnivorous streak,” he explained, pocketing the tube, “What? You think I got this way through just nuts, beans and fungus? I am an omnivore after all.”

Cadence simply rolled her eyes and returned to petting her new playmate.

“Sounds like Shining and that morning egg shake thing, bleh!” she blanched, her face contorting before she poked out her tongue in disgust.

“I know how you feel,” William added with his own look of disgust, “It’s not as good, but I stick to cooked eggs. A thousand times better tasting and without the promise of salmonella.” He patted his pocket, making the rattling pills audible for her. “Those monthly check ups were good for my health after all.”

“And now I’m worried about your mental health,” Cadence commented with a saddened glance. It was enough to make him turn away, his hand attempting to scratch away the discomfort as if it were on his neck.

“I’m… smart… logical before I plan on most things I do, okay? Just the important stuff but at least I am thinking.” he replied with an awkward tone. He coughed into his hand before looking to her once more. “If I ever get to a really low point then I promise to kidnap a shrink.”

“Smart he says, kidnap a psychiatrist he then says.” Cadence scoffed before gazing towards the fire. It had going for a few minutes and her ears were currently entranced by the soft crackles of the timber. A stray thought crossed her mind as silence crept upon them.

“Aren’t you cold?” she asked, looking back to him, “I distinctly remember you saying humans weren’t fans of the cold.” He shook his head.

“I said winter but hey, misquoting and all that,” he replied with hoity shake of the hand and with his nose pointed to the ceiling. Despite how the smug grin made her want to slap it off, it was nice to see him calming down and returning to normal. This was key, something she thought about since getting him back into the room: keeping calm enough to talk.

“Even so, why are you starting to walk around without a shirt on? You’d never have done this ages ago, so what’s…changed?” The pause caused them to lock eyes, bother registering what had been said. She had subtly put forward a statement, a test, and when he didn’t answer but showed no resentment he’d confirmed it.

Then a smile instantly claimed his maw.

“Calm down,” he reassured in a placating manner, “I had a fun run with the nobles and I didn’t want my shirt to stink of sweat. Got changed on the way back to the course before bumping into Celestia.” He leant back into the couch and frowned towards the bookshelf behind Cadence. “I think she sees me as a rival now, I mean we’re both not the best there is, but at the time the nobles were too scared to run past her and I needed the bathroom so…” He illustrated his point further by tumbling one hand over another.

“I ended up coming fifth, whereas she came sixth out of the sixty or so that turned up. Either you ponies are slower than my Earth’s or I’m doing my ancestor’s proud.”

“So why didn’t you take off your pants? Why stop there?”

“You won’t believe how painful it is to run whilst your knees are getting slapped, heh,” he finished with a lewd chuckle. Cadence groaned as realisation dawned on her.

“Ew,” she whispered as she levitated another pillow to catapult at the man. He barely reacted, his arms moving to block the fabric missile. It rebounded after hitting hard and left him with a cheeky grin. “Okay, for real now-“

“Well I suppose I was being a bit too generous but-“

“Why bother giving up on being fully clothed?” she continued in a tone of voice that made it clear that she did not wish to be interrupted. “You started doing this a while back, I know, but the last time I saw you were fully clothed. Yet, I hear that most of the time you don’t even bother with your shirts unless it’s cold.” She magicked up Roxanne, the fox becoming temporally confused before being planted on the princess’ back. Whilst the fox got nestled between her wings, Cadence continued. “You said humans tended to go clothed partly because it keeps them warm.”

“Because I didn’t care,” William started with reluctance, “I mean, there’s no other humans to tell me how to act now. Most of you don’t really care about clothing so what the heck?” He took a more soft spoken voice as he glanced towards the fire. “I mean, it’s a part of me, and Rarity seems eager to embellish in it, and it’s not completely gone. I thought I could try and substitute some of my human culture with some of your pony ones and make me seem less… alien.”

Cadence paused in thought, her muzzle gently rubbing against Roxanne’s head as it rested on her shoulder. She seemed as restless as the princess, though displaying it more obviously than the alicorn was.

“Funny thing is I was persuaded to have something done that did manage to fix that, sort of,” he added with a ghost of smile, tilting his head as he looked back to her. Her full attention was directed to him, ears standing up and her eyes focused straight at the man. “Problem was the way to make me less alien worked too well.”

“What do you mean?”

“Cadence... Six months into being trapped here, after finding out the magical portal I used to get here, the same kind the breezies use, would only open again in a thousand years’ time, I was faced with a proposition.” William’s smile never left but his eyes spoke of a failure, of being let down. He seemed to wait for her for a few moments, where Cadence then nudged the air with a hoof to signal to him.

“Twilight, Celestia, and Luna were willing to edit transmorphication- or whatever the hell it’s called- magic spells in order to transform me into a pony.” He raised a hand and flexed the digits. They moved swiftly and with a mastery one would expect from having lived with them all their life. The pony and the human studied the limb as it moved, a hint of admiration for evolution in the man’s eyes.

“I took it without hesitation.” The hand balled into a fist but the smile remained. “I was broken but not depressed, more like my mind felt disconnected from the body… I rationalised in less than six hours that I might as well be one of you if I couldn’t get home. In less than six hours I decided to give up on being human in order to prosper.” He chuckled darkly, shaking his head and shifting his still bloodshot eyes back to the fire.

“If that isn’t a new type of Darwinism then I don’t know what is. My survival and future prosperity depended on me abandoning my body and I took it.”

Cadence wasn’t too sure how to offer up the idea of becoming a pony. Perhaps as a last resort she would have mentioned it right before he left but… hearing him talk now as if it were a simple choice, hearing him say it was an easy one to make… she didn’t quite know what to say.

“William,” Cadence began softly, “what went wrong?” She dared to ask because the obvious lay before her: it hadn’t worked. As to why she couldn’t say but needed to know. She guessed being let down was where he officially began to bottle everything up; he hadn’t seen anyone about his problems and nothing suspicious had been reported by Twilight so far. Then again, maybe he’d made her promise to keep quiet. This was all new news to Cadence after all.

“Nothing,” he replied as he rested his head on his hand. “The problem was that things went too right.” He smirked at her owlish look before continuing.

“I am not easily manipulated by magic, internally at least. I’m like a vacuum sealed box with a plug, you can pick me up and swing me around, give me a coat of cloud walking paint, but you can’t make me breathe fire or breathe underwater.” William frowned as he rubbed the knuckle of his free hand against his chest. “Or so Twilight tells me. I am, as a natural being, completely void of magic and that vacuum is sealed by my body. It’s not easy to open me up and add an enchantment.”

“I was gonna say, now that sounds like one of Twilight’s summaries after a magic based explanation.” Cadence giggled at his confirmation. “So… how did it go right, then?”

“Because Twilight tried it with just herself and found that she wasn’t able to transform me on a cellular level due to me being highly resistant to that type of magic. So she had to call in the bigger, sleeker, cuter guns.” Ignoring Cadence’s cocked eyebrow he snapped his fingers, an act that caught Roxanne’s attention. “She requested Celestia’s and Luna’s help and that did the trick.”

“So…”

“I’m getting there,” he replied with a slightly irate tone. The disarming smile was only met with concern, however. “So I had Celestia overseeing and Twilight and Luna pumping enough magic to destroy and rebuild me in a flash.” Cadence’s ears drooped at the expression, her discomfort becoming easy for him to sense.

With a melancholic sigh he raised his hand to his heart, “Sadly I died that day… but then I didn’t!” he exclaimed shortly after, his smile sliding off at the sight of her deadpanned expression. “But yeah, the power of the sun and the moon, and the power of the avatar of magic had essentially pulled the plug on a vacuum sealed box. There was one inevitable reaction.”

He took a deep breath and locked eyes with her.

“Princess Cadence, for five weeks, I became Equestria’s first male alicorn, one that had drawn power from three other alicorns.”

His face held no hint of deception and the moment for the punch line laughter had come and gone. They simply stared at one and other, her jaw slowly parting only to seal shut. She tried to imagine him as an alicorn, as to what he could possibly look like, and yet she was blatantly reminded of how human he was now.

“Th-th-then what happened?” she finally whispered.

“Celestia used the only spell she knew that would allow me to handle the raw magical power of her, her sister, and Twilight Sparkle-- she turned me into an alicorn in order to save my life.” William shook his head, chuckling in a hollow fashion. “I asked why couldn’t I be downgraded to another sub-species and she said that I’d still have the magical prowess of the other two species sans the means to use their magic. Like an overstuffed teddy bear, without something akin to daily magical dialysis I would burst.”

“Didn’t last as you can see,” he pointed out with a ‘mysterious’ wave of his hand. His eyes widened briefly and his smiled brightened before he spoke again, “Apparently there were two of us in the room who thought this was a bad thing.”

“Hang on,” Cadence butted in, shaking her head before massaging her temples, “You’re saying that the only way you can live as a pony is as a male alicorn.” Her tone of disbelief earned an amused snort.

“Aye, I’d be the power pony with the ‘Y’ chromosome.”

“And Auntie Celestia and Luna were not happy about that?”

“Okay, two things,” he interjected with two fingers, “One: I don’t see how they’re obligated to become pleased about that instantly, and I kind of feel a bit creeped out about that. Two: who said that Luna was the second one upset? She wouldn’t stop looking at me.”

In response Cadence scrunched her face up, her head rising further as she stood on the bench. She hopped off, her magic activating to catch Roxanne who’d just about dozed off upon her back.

“I’m guessing Twilight wasn’t the second upset so that means that you were,” she said as he joined him on his couch. She didn’t understand why he wouldn’t be happy, other than regretting his decision. She moved her stare from him back to the fire and watched the flames as they danced. She placed Roxanne between the two as she remained in deep thought.

‘Did he miss being human?’ A curious thought; he had explained himself as a rational man, one who planned and came up with scenarios, though at times she found such a thing hard to believe. Maybe six hours was too short of time to think over this sort of life choice, and yet, for William, it honestly did seem like a right answer for someone in his predicament. He’d seek out ways to live for the better and she could believe that turning into a pony was something he whole heartedly believed in.

The feeling of Roxanne hopping onto her back stole her attention and she felt the fox sit upon her. Looking back she noticed the fox gave William a dirty look before snapping her snout to the air to face away from him.

“What’s the matter with her?”

“I’m ignoring her and focusing on you,” William explained, reaching over to stroke the fox’s ear. With a sound that could only be described as ‘nnnam’ Roxanne turned around and clamp her mouth on his finger. “I’m gonna be in the dog house for a while.”

“She’s the jealous type and yet she’s hanging out with her enemy?” Cadence asked, her eyes glancing between the pet and the owner.

“She wants me to notice her ignoring me,” he added, earning a quiet ‘ah’ from Cadence. “I wasn’t happy because I had been ripped apart on an atomic level and resurrected as a completely new species, whilst having three lots of A-class magic pumped into me.” He gave her a level stare. “That. Hurt. A. Lot.”

He retracted his finger, earning a low growl. The princess had to admit, Roxanne did look simultaneously threatening and adorable with her fur poofing up along her neck and tail.

“So yeah, I went through a rebirth the first week, growing pains and all, magical horning pains the second to third week, and the spent the last weeks going through second puberty whilst trying not to blow a hole in the wall my room… or the moon,” he said before finishing with his head in his hands.

He groaned into his palms before speaking. “I was a hormonal wreck, basically a teenager who had just gone through trauma… or not… I remember when I was a teenager back in my normal life.” He looked back up but wore an oddly proud smile, “I was a proper shit-starter for no reason, heh.”

“Language, Will, you’re not crying on my shoulder so there’s no more leeway,” Cadence warned, earning a hiss from her friend.

“Ouch. Low blow,” he replied, covering his groin and going cross eyed.

“Okay, now I’m curious, what did you look like and why was I not invited?” She had been trying to imagine him as one of her own and yet couldn’t quite settle on a ‘design’ so to speak.

“Something about meeting delegates so you had to miss popping by Canterlot.”

“Right right right,” Cadence waved off, the memories coming back to her. “So what did you look like?”

“Pretty bulky figure, big barrelled, had a horn that needed to be introduced separately,” he said, gesturing a considerable distance between his forehead and where the tip would be. “The wings were awkward. I had a huge span and they felt like an extra set of arms on my back. I’m guessing males are less elegant but sturdier.”

“Okay, not too shabby,” Cadence praised as she looked him up and down. “What about your coat?”

“A nice beach sand tone with ashen fetlocks, black toes too, stark contrast to the fiery mane of mine,” said as he reached up to combed his hair, clutching a clump as he looked up wistfully, “It was kinda awesome having fire for hair, let me tell you. Not…real fire, just the kind of weird thing that Luna and Celestia have… but ginger, red and yellow. Just looking at my tail move was both epic and disturbing.”

She had to admit he did sound at least exotic as a breed. Colour scheme wise he was… unique but not off putting. She didn’t know what to expect from a human variety of pony. She couldn’t gauge how alien he was but she guess he took on a more Saddle Arabia style. Regardless that was now irrelevant as there were still issues she had to face now that her final plan of action had been removed.

‘Besides, Twi probably took pictures anyway.’

“So why change you back? Was the pain really that bad?” Cadence asked as she tilted her head to the side. William fell silent. He closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek as he contemplated his thoughts. Finally, he snapped his fingers, whistled, and then Roxanne slowly began to creep off Cadence’s back.

“Come on, Roxy, I’m sorry but daddy’s working through some issues right now,” he whispered, a hand beckoning the vixen over. “Come on girl,” he added, patting his leg. She slinked onto his lap, circling around before leaning into the man. He started to gently rub her tail and pet her chest.

“Good girl. Seen her a few times at Fluttershy’s and I managed to get her out of a snag whilst taking ingredients to Zecora, the Ponyville shaman, and from then on out she’d bound over to me whenever I visit Shy’s place. During my hormonal stages I fell into a serious depression, one that this little lady helped me out of. Of course I had Pinkie and Celestia counselling me as well but I couldn’t sleep with them. Or at least not always. Pinkie was quite determined to keep me smiling.”

“So sweet,” Cadence whispered before pouting, “I want one.”

“This one’s quite the little princess and wants to be treated as such,” he said, nuzzling his chin into his pet’s head. It was eagerly welcomed. “Princes’ are expected to be a certain way too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Cadence, I can’t become an alicorn without becoming a prince,” William said plainly, “Besides the fact I am not eligible to rule over anything greater than a house party, I’d be a danger to those around me until my magical outburst passed. Also can you figure out the problem with Celestia handing out alicorn status to a stranger like me? A nobody like me? Hell, Blue Blood’s still miffed that even he’s not an alicorn but Twilight is, and he is royalty.”

“Oh,” Cadence replied lamely. She couldn’t image what kind of uproar the nobles of Canterlot would have if not only a new alicorn walked into their life, their precious social-totem-pole hierarchal way of life, but if they knew he was originally human too? An outsider to the pony community?

“So, when they were able, the princesses three turned me back through draining me of my power,” William said before chuckling. “Twilight and Luna acted like getting back their original level of power on top of their regained power was a good buzz. Christ, Shy and I shared one hell of a picnic when she turned everything edible into living creatures by mistake.” He sighed and laid back with his eyes closed, gently petting Roxanne who lay on his lap in a ball.

“Twilight says she’d try to crunch the numbers and see if there’s a way to syphon the excess magic away from me during the transformation but… she said that months ago, and both Luna and Celestia have pointed out the improbability of that happening. We all think we shouldn’t push for that, what with her taking on a princess role herself and gaining new duties.” He sighed before rubbing his eyes.

“Its alicorn or human for a few years I’m afraid. My body can only change under the influence of one full grown alicorn. And apparently gathering multiple unicorns together to equate to their power wouldn’t be easy when you consider the scope, co-ordination and not to mention the potential risk. So that’s how I became one of the most powerful ponies in history and lost the right due to politics. I guess there are even things Celestia can’t do.”

Cadence sat up straight, her head bobbing up and down gently in thought. She combed her hair with her hoof, attempting to stomp out a rebellious lock but gave up.

“What about…” Cadence began with a hushed whisper, her eyes roaming the room as a prey would watch for a predator, “Him?”

“Him?” William asked with a cocked brow.

“Yeah… Um, the dragonesque?” she added, rolling her hooves and keeping her voice low. Paranoia gripped her as she swore she saw the creature she dared not name wink at her from the fire place.

Then again, maybe that was her imagination.

Maybe.

“Oh you mean Discord!” William exclaimed. He was perplexed when she instantly shot him a fierce glare as she shushed him.

“Don’t say his name!” She continued looking around and became suspicious of the tea pot. “They say he can hear you wherever he is.”

“Well that’s a load of rubbish,” William sniped with a roll of the eyes. “We tried to get him to help but apparently he’s busy improving his image elsewhere.” With a shake of the head the man passed the mare a withering glance. “I don’t think he’d help if he wanted to. He’s a big fan of inner turmoil, and other than that he’s great to just relax with once you just accept half the things he says… but I’d wager that he’s entertained by my troubled fitting in. Hence why I don’t see him much.”

Unanimously, they sighed and leant further into the couch.

“You know I was going to suggest that we try something that I thought was bit extreme,” she said as she turned to face him. He wasn’t looking at her anymore, merely the vacant space opposite him. “It would be my last resort and it was to turn you into a pony.” That earned her a half smile.

“I guess I would have followed you’re advice and when you finally told me this plan then I would have said something like ‘Why didn’t we go with that one first?’”

“And I would have told you that it was dangerous and I had to be certain that there were no other ways of tackling your little issues,” Cadence replied, earning a snort. She arched an eyebrow as he chuckled moments before facing her with a face of perfect disbelief.

“R-r-really? Little issues?” he quoted with wide eyes. She could easily say that he looked better now; with the fire catching his face it had brightened considerable than when he was in the cold light of the moon. He shook his head once more, scooting closer to the alicorn and leaning in. “I’ve got to hear this.” William murmured.

So, she thought, now’s the time.

“So,” he began with a smile of condescension, “What’s the answer, Princess?”

Author's Note

Although a 2 chapter story was promised, the second chapter came to around 9500 words so I broke the two up.

It has been interesting reading the comments but I would like the point out that this story has already been planned and I'm sticking to it. I understand that some may not be pleased about how magic can influence humans in this world of Equestria, but unless canon establishes how effective magic is against humans, I will stick by this.

Next chapter is Cadence's response, which has already been written and is currently undergoing editing; expect tomorrow. This chapter was half me breaking up a large chunk, half experimenting with a way to flesh out a character, even by a little bit.

As for the Alicorn design... yeah it was strange but I honestly don't think a human turned pony will look like your typical unicorn, earth pony, pegasi/ alicorn. Not that justifies the design.

Thank you all for viewing this and like/ favorite/ comment/ spin in your swivel chair/ continue being fabulous and all that jazz. Goodnight.

Almost new

Cadence’s opinion of William, since the beginning, was that he was an incredibly adaptive being. Visit by visit he gradually became acclimatised, strong, swift, and displayed his merrier side. It was almost difficult to believe; she had a hard time accepting that he was fine initially, but that thought slowly faded with time. He was polite and respectful, to the point that he was like any other pony in the presence or Royalty. It took much prodding, one heck of a pillow fight than spanned the halls and barracks, but he learnt to relax more around the Princesses.

Her opinion now?

Trust her gut and check for issues in anypony she suspects to be going through a hard time. Maybe mothering everypony like aunty Celestia does is actually a good thing. The man was a wreck held together by string.

“Okay, let go through these problems one at a time, okay?” she asked coming off more condescending than intended.

At least she thought that was the case given how exaggerated a toothy smile and slow nod she received. She merely rolled her eyes and cleared her throat.

“Finally getting to the important part,” she said whilst she looked for the tea set, “I’m sorry about getting side tracked like that, Will, I was just making sure that you were in a better state of mind.”

“I understand,” he said, rubbing Roxanne’s side.

“Hmmm, ah that’s where I put it!” Before he knew it, the tea set from before flew into William’s view and landed upon the rug. “Okay, a deal’s a deal,” Cadence said as steaming tea was poured into a cup. “You talked and now you get your drink.”

“That’s still hot?” William asked, despite registering the warm vapours trailing from cup slowly floating towards him. “For real?” he inquired, looking toward Cadence.

“Well, yeah, I didn’t know how long this was going to take so I had one of the maids enchant the tea pot,” she replied, levitating a saucer over to him. He looked between the hovering tea pot and the floating saucer before face palming.

“Sure, why not, stranger things have happened, to me and my surroundings,” he commented, more so to himself as he placed the saucer on the arm of the couch. He then rapidly rolled his hand in a tumbling fashion in mid-air, “You may proceed with your rebuttal!” he finished dramatically. He was about to take a small sip when she spoke.

“Okay, first question-“

“Bloody Hell! How am I supposed to drink this if you’re asking questions?”

“Are you polygamous or monogamous?”

He choked on his words between amused huffs but the stern stoic stare of the mare helped calm him.

“Let’s say confused for the time being.”

“It’s a simple question: are you a harem kind of guy or a one-love kind of guy?” she reiterated, still maintaining her professional, regal demeanour. “It will determine how happy you will be with the one you’re after, after all, they’ll ask themselves this question at some point in their lives. Before or after meeting you.”

“Really? It’s a choice?” Cadence shook her head, wincing slightly.

“Depends on which side of that fence you sit on. It all comes down to where the pony is raised and what the mind and heart actually desires.” She brought a hoof to her chest and continued, “I was born amidst a monogamous crystal clan, but Aunty Luna and Celestia were born amidst a harem, or herd clan as it was waaaaaay back when.”

“In that case I’m monogamous,” William added, putting his cup to the floor and feeling as if he wasn’t going to be getting a drink anytime soon. “Born and raised in a family with one mother and one father and only had one girl on the go at a time. If my people had more than one on the side, then it was taboo. At least in my part of the world.”

“Would you be willing to become polygamous?” Cadence inquired. “It is something you can be here. Socially, it’s normal for smaller towns to have harems whilst larger cities, like here, have mostly one stallion one mare couples. It’s a practice to encourage growth, but it’s hardly major until you begin skirting Equestrian territory.” After her explanation William shook his head.

“But what does that make Ponyville?” he inquired. She merely shrugged.

“Big village? Small town? I suppose it would be at the stage where the number of harems is diminishing if they're not already.”

“I don’t think it’s for me. I don’t feel as if that would be the right thing,” he replied, rubbing his hands together and looking away. “Seems kind of like a dream come true sort of thing.”

“Mares can go through the same thing, you know,” the princess commented with a coy smile, “The mare that builds our chariots is married to three other stallions.”

“What’s the point to all this?” Will asked looking back.

“Well, unlike sexuality, you can choose which to pursue but you have to bear in mind that the preference may be something nurtured into a pony; your crush could naturally desire a harem but be willing to go mono. Maybe it’s the other way round. Would you be okay with doing the same for them?” Cadence pressed stretching out a cramp in her wing. She had been still for quite a while now.

The action caused Roxanne to stir and look around. Her gaze shifted between the door, the balcony, and the alicorn before she went back to sleep on Will’s lap. During the little show, the man made a decision, and with uncertainty in his voice he spoke.

“I’ve changed enough as it is, I suppose if I were to pursue a relationship, I would have to be the one to change my preference.”

“That you can’t change, you're merely sacrificing it for something else. For a while it may feel weird and overbearing but it passes. Then again, maybe you won’t have to.” Cadence replied moments before inspecting her hoof. “You see, finding these things out is the point of dating.”

“I know but… a multiple-woman relationship?” he asked rhetorically, rubbing the back of his neck. He pursed his lips, ignoring the wry smile and rolling of eyes belonging to the princess. “I don’t know how I can justify sharing my love between two or more women, or keep them all happy.”

“Well, the way I see it is that in a monogamous relationship two halves become whole,” Cadence explained as she brought her hooves together, “and polygamous relationships have hearts coming together to become something greater, simply being one plus one equals two!” she finished with a chirp, parting her hooves but keeping them up.

“And when there’s a third?” Will asked. She frowned before poking out her tongue and steadily raising a hind leg. It was adorable watching her concentrate as she performed the act. Upon completion she delivered a smug smile.

“…Forth…”

“William.”

“Fine.”

“You’re still adding what you bring to the relationship, but now there’s another sharing their heart with you. Sure it might be a little extra work, but you soon finds that everyone gets the same amount of love and attention. It’s not as if you always have to keep on adding, you know.”

With a disgruntled grunt, Will reached down to take hold of his cup. He sat back up shaking his head, and was about to take a sip before he reconsidered.

“Well I prefer monogamous,” he stated before bringing the ceramic edge to his lips, “but I’d try it if I were persuaded to,” he finished as he removed the cup before taking his first drink. “I take it that it’s not uncommon for a harem-guy or gal to try and bring up the issue at some point, right?” The man’s inquiry was met with a nod. He was about to blow on the brew to cool it when Cadence spoke up.

“Why are you suddenly afraid of social exclusion?”

William merely sighed, the act causing a small tide of tea to slide over the edge of the cup. He placed it on the saucer and gave the princess his full attention.

“It’s not so much me as it is the one I’d be with; you remember what I said about that one guy that tried to stir trouble? That whole debacle lasted two weeks,” William said with a weary shake of the head. “How am I supposed to show how much I care when all I do is cause that kind of trouble?”

His hand fell with a flimsy flop onto his thigh, an act that agitated Roxanne enough to be deemed punishable by nibbling of the wrists.

“Imagine if that sort of thing followed them wherever they went, it affected their lives with their friends, it caused issues with their parent’s and relatives-- in more ways than one mind you- and then think how that would affect their employment,” he said, finishing by biting his knuckle.

He was about to be set off again, she could see it. It’s subtle but there, the little pieces he’d managed to salvage for now starting to erode and crumble. She reached over to rest a hoof on his arm, earning only a wary stare from Roxanne as William continued.

“All it takes in one swine-hearted employer, a toxic customer with a touch of influence and then the one I care most for suffers. Their job loses business or they can’t even land a job. Friends can’t stand the sight of us together, maybe not all of them, but just the one, and I’d be the one to get in between them.” His hand combed his hair once more before massaging the bridge of his nose and exhaling through pursed lips. Upon finishing he only then felt the presence of a hoof upon his arm, and then the eyes pointed at him.

“William.” Cadence said sternly before her hard toe poked him in the ribs. He recoiled with an ‘oomph’, Roxanne bolting to her paws with her tail flickering. “Your lack of faith in your fellow pony disturbs me.”

“Why?” he asked with an annoyed tone, his hand instinctively rubbing the prodded area.

“Because there are over one hundred laws put into place to prevent this sort of thing,” she stated flatly, prodding him again. At his yelp Roxanne hopped between him and the mare, ready to pounce.

“Careful, she’s quite the bitch at times.”

“That’s very clever but the correct term is vixen,” Cadence corrected. At least, she thought she had.

“I’m not talking to you.”

Cadence was about to prod him so hard he’d hiccup her name for the rest of his life, alas, the growling fox deterred her.

“Anyway, the business aspects; ponies won’t turn down others based up their relationship choice for one thing and one thing only: bits.” He arched an eyebrow at her and gestured for the smugly smiling mare to continue. “If a profit can be made then where the money comes from isn’t a concern, unless it comes from an illegal source, nopony in Canterlot seems to care.”

“And elsewhere?” William put forward, one hand soothing the on edge fox. “Say I want a romantic dinner one evening in Shady Hallows-“

“Err, not to be rude, but thestrals tend to have a harder time being accepted than you have been, I mean, what with the vampire stereotype and the whole Nightmare Moon-”

“Okay, then, let’s say we’re in Baltimare, I've got the sun sleeping upon the horizon and we’ve just finished tangoing through the Harvest Day festival, and we’re making our way to a classy establishment to watch the dolphins in the pier,” William rebutted, folding his arms. “But then the guy’s upfront like-“

“Awww…” Will’s attention snapped to Cadence and he found her with her hooves covering her mouth. “That’s so lovely, and you think you’ll get rejected.” Her eyes practically sparkled as the man instantly turned away to face the night sky and avoid her gaze. He coughed awkwardly into his fist, the princess dropping her hooves to reveal a sinister sly grin.

“Oh, right, xenophobic ponies, right… uh, laws get broken, you can sue the establishment, I thought we covered this,” she said whilst inspecting a hoof.

“Because they’ll be so blatant and upfront about it,” he retorted, finally turning back to face her wicked smile. “What about the ones who’d try to do us harm-“

“Look, Will, ponies will stare and ponies will stop caring, ponies whisper, ponies talk, ponies may even call you out about it, but you shouldn’t let them get to you! You. Are. Better. Than! That!” Cadence barked, scowling at him. “Interspecies relationships are rare, yeah, it’s more of an outskirts thing, but at the end of the day nopony else will value your love as much as the one you’re with, meaning that nopony else will care.” She face-hoofed, a display that always seemed more painful than practical in his eyes, and then groaned.

“How many ponies were disgusted by you apparently dating either the ex-element of loyalty or the ex-element of honesty?” She looked up to him after sliding her face out from under her hoof. “Or was it just gossip?”

“…”

“William,” Cadence began with a motherly tone, “was it foul mouthing or was it just gossip about the juicy bits.” Looking up to him, she found that he was making a good impression on how to suck a lemon.

“…”

“It was gossip wasn’t it?”

“There were at least three others who didn’t like what they were hearing,” William muttered.

“Ugh, William!”

“But that’s all it takes!” he yelled, causing both Roxanne and Cadence to yelp. His face hardened as his gaze shifted back the balcony doors. “They try anything, if somepony gets hurt because of me…” He looked back with darkened expression, one that almost made Cadence fear being in his presence. The fireplace caught the dangerous glint in his eyes as he spoke with a low growl, “I wouldn’t be the type of guy to sit by or stop when necessary… not anymore.”

“And you’re friends? What about them? What about your special pony’s friends?” Cadence asked, her resolve strengthening as his eyes darted away. “I bet, when all those nasty rumours were floating about, you had your friends backing you up.”

“Yeah, Rarity was a huge help behind the gossip scenes whilst Twilight, much to my chagrin, decided that a public announcement was a suitable answer by the end of the second week.” He face palmed, an act that earned a pawing from Roxanne. “I said if it didn’t bloody work that I’d be bunking here with Celestia and Luna… or maybe I’d let Blue Blood parade me around for a while.” His shoulders sagged as he scratched the vixen between the ears earning a tongue-lolling look of bliss. “Traveling the country does seem enticing.”

“And this Big Mac…” Cadence added with an arched brow.

“Yeah the guy’s sound as a pound, packs a kick too and so do I these days.”

“So in a relationship you’d be fine, but apparently your partner wouldn’t have these kind of friends, or that yours wouldn’t step in to help where need be,” Cadence pointed out, resting a hoof on his lap. “True friends will stick together, maybe tease each other, but they will respect each other’s choices. How is that ponies can sit beside gay, straight, bisexual, polygamous, monogamous ponies and yet draw the line at seeing two beings of different bodies in love?”

“Treat your neighbours as you would treat yourself,” William whispered as he reached down for his tea, loud enough to stir Cadence’s ear.

“Yeah! Exactly! Most ponies try to do that, but there are bigots who are far and few; they’re not gone but you’d have support from your friends, I’m certain. And so will your lover.” Cadence beamed a bright smile, her eyes closing.

William brought the cup up and rested and elbow on the couch arm. He faced Cadence for a moment, studying her as he slowly swerved the cup around till it reached his lips. He never took his eyes of her as he slowly began to tip the drink.

“Okay! Next question-umph?!”

William had swiftly brought his finger to her lips and bore a squinting scowl at her.

“Wait.” He commanded before taking a full minute to slurp the entire beverage. The noise made her cringe, her ears flattening as she sat through the disgusting ordeal. It sounded wet, messy, sloppy, a faux par equal to claws on chalkboard. She closed her eyes until the noise stopped, to which she was greeted by the sight of William impersonating a chipmunk.

Mechanically, he turned to face the couch opposite, cup still to his lip and then let the tea slowly pour out in a bubbling stream.

“Ew.” Cadence commented as she pulled away. William smacked his lips, his tongue writhing to escape what must have been a foul taste.

“I’ll say,” he muttered, depositing the cup to the floor. Roxanne, who had been curious, hopped off to taste the drink herself. “Roxy!” he chided as the fox began lapping up the brew, “Disgusting.”

“What’s wrong with Matrinti blend?” Cadence asked, slightly offended.

“Tastes like mud and lobster,” he explained, bringing a knee to his mouth. He dragged his tongue across it before lowering his leg. Cadence was not amused by the spectacle.

“Oh, like that’s any better!”

“You do realise that my taste buds aren’t the same as yours, right?”

“You didn’t have to spit it back out!” Cadence scolded, folding her hooves.

“I was not going to drink that.” William stated flatly. Before she could continue, he raised his finger again. “Next Question…”

“Next. Question.” She said through gritted teeth.

“Look if you’re offended, remember that I’m not used to talking to princesses, back home, I’d be lucky to see the Queen. I have no place here, hell that’s the main reason I’m no longer an alicorn!” William said with his hands up defensively.

“Next Question,” she repeated with a sigh, “If you can fall in love with a pony, and as I’ve said it is possible for them to fall for other species, then surely they can reciprocate your feelings?”

“Yes I get it’s a two way street,” William interjected, “But my problem is that I shouldn’t be appealing.”

“Will, sweetie,” Cadence replied slowly, her hoof creeping over to his leg, “If you want to get a mare, try not to think you’re the Creator’s gift to mares.” With a deadpanned glare he watched her pat him. Seconds later he faced her, noting the small smile.

“You do realise that I currently think I am the exact opposite, right?”

“And that’s only half the truth,” she shot back, removing her hoof. “Come on, have a little faith in love, Will. Remember, its building strong connections; if a pony feels that for somepony else, the sense of comfort, warmth, and the sense of pure sanctuary with another, you can bet they won’t turn down a chance to become something greater.”

William groaned as he rubbed his eyes. His head slowly bobbled, either due to complete understanding or due to wishing for her to drop the point.

“Ponies will see you for who you are. If the mare you’re infatuated with does want to be with you, it’s because you’ve got something that she couldn’t find in another pony,” Cadence added before sighing. With shake of her head she looked to him with pleading eyes. “Don’t give in to self-doubt when it comes to love, Will. You’ll hurt yourself again.”

“So you actually believe I’d… stand a chance,” he muttered, rapping his fingers against his thigh.

“William… You exercise daily, study history, philosophy, read literature, are intelligent, funny, outgoing, and bunk in Canterlot Castle monthly to learn how to draw as a coping mechanism with Princess Luna,” Cadence said flatly before trailing a circle around him with a hoof, “If this doesn’t scream tortured artist I don’t know what does. Mares should be flocking when you say you’re ready.”

“Oh that’s just insulting, Princess!” William shot back with a nudge, his sad smile slowly retracting. She giggled, her melodious titter fading when he didn’t join in. He looked deep in thought- he was bearing that intimidating frown that meant as such, at least so she thought. He was also focusing elsewhere… another good sign that the scowl wasn’t a sign of ill intent.

’This is all based on guessing.‘ she reminded herself.

“I’ll… give you that. As head turningly gorgeous as I am it's not my best feature, but that has never stopped love before,” he agreed with a nod. He noticed Cadence giving him a studious once over, pursing her lips and arching a brow.

“Well you are an exotic myth and it’s not off putting being able to see your muscles,” she admitted before shrugging. “Who knows?” There was a brief moment where she looked away, rubbing a hoof on another in a soothing fashion.

“Something wrong?” William asked, catching onto her strange change in behaviour.

“It’s my final question,” she managed, turning back to him with a blush. She bore a serious expression, her highly dignified appearance slightly tarnished by the cute redness catching her cheeks.

“And that would be?”

“How do you feel about…um.” Cadence trailed off, her cheeks flushing but her face remaining stoic. She maintained her integrity, her dignity, as she gestured what she wanted to say with her hooves bumping into each other. William looked to the gesture then back into her eyes, keeping a flat expression.

“I…guess…well,” he started awkwardly, repeating the gesture himself with his own fists. “Hoof bumps are okay, hardly important but I could live with someone who liked to greet like that.” William commented casually, his lip curling into a cruel smile.

“I know you’re not that dense.”

“Oh what do you want me to say? That I’d like to…” He stopped speaking, sighing before snapping his focus back to Roxanne who had settled by his feet. “I’m not going to discuss my hypothetical sex life with the Pink Pony Princess.”

“…Pink Pony Princess still needs an answer,” Cadence added, her blush having dissipated. From the sight alone, either humans didn’t blush or William was an odd case. Instead he seemed to direct his gaze squarely on a single target away from whoever he was talking to. Maybe she wasn’t good with finding tells on other species, but at least she was making progress with the human. “It’s also not with me, but I’m flattered all the same.”

“Yeah… give a shout when you’re feeling polygamous,” he retorted whilst folding his arms.

“I’ll have to see if it’s okay with both our other halves, but I don’t see why not,” Cadence purred, winking as he saw his eyes roam towards her. “But in all seriousness, sex is a part of a healthy relationship, regardless if the goal is to procreate or not. So I need to know.”

“You don’t need to know, but I guess…” William began before groaning, “And here I thought being a furry was just a phase back when.”

“I’m waiting.”

“Yes.”

“Have you… before?”

“Once.”

“Okay… here?”

“NO!”

“Okay, okay!” Cadence said in a calming manner as the man sunk low into the couch, arms folded over his chest. “I’m guessing that when that happens, no too long after you might start thinking about kids.”

“Already have and have already told you: our DNA is incompatible,” Will stated. “Until Twilight finds a way, I can’t magically modify my sperm to become compatible with another species. You can’t change me internally. Think of the box filled with anti-magic and remember you can pick it up but can’t put magic in.”

“Alright, I get that,” Cadence said with an understanding nod, “but what about adoption?” She lifted a hoof to point towards the balcony. “There may be hundreds of lost colts and fillies just waiting for a family, for somepony to love them.” She saw him look to the horizon before glancing back and raising a hand, his expression flinching.

“I’m not opposed to the idea of adoption, I’ve always believed that it is a wonderful thing,” Will said with a small smile. “To take someone in who’s not your flesh and blood and build a trust to allow you both to grow and become better?” His smile grew as he looked her in the eye.

“Being a father always sounded nothing short of amazing to me.” He took on an uncomfortable look as his gaze fell to the fox still at his feet. “It does strike me with a uneasy feeling though; the idea of interviewing each kid and picking just one rubs me the wrong way, but I’m not exactly sure what the process is so…”

“So you’ve already considered it?”

“Obviously.”

“But…” Cadence added with a coaxing bob of the head.

“My issues is not with me adopting but taking away someone’s ability to naturally become a mother just by being with me. Doesn’t that seem a bit unethical?” He was surprised to be met with a huff and another face hoof.

“William, do you think the mares that stand by their infertile stallions care about the morals? When they’re sacrificing for the sake of the other?” She looked up to him with a fire in her eyes. “For Love? What does love mean to you, Will?!” Before he could answer she slammed a hoof onto the couch. “I’m not finished!”

“I think I know what your actual problem is, William, and… I don’t like what it means,” she added with a disappointed look. “You’re trying to quantify everything, make a check list of things to do to become ‘better’.” She pointed a hoof at his arm, “You’ve become fitter and stronger.” She then pointed to his head, “You’ve broadened interests to feed and develop your mind.” With a tired sigh she looked away, her ears falling alongside her expression.

“You’re doing all this because you see it as something to make up for, and you know it, and now the final thing is for you to do is ‘find love’.” Sluggishly she looked up with a pitiful stare boring into him. He met her with stoic face. “But nopony finds love, they discover the foundation to make the bridge, solid land to make a solid connection between two souls.”

With teary eyes she brought a hoof to her heart and sniffed. “Isn’t that beautiful? You can’t ever think love is something that can be made like a contract; there is only one obligation between two and that’s to promise to be with one and other, to fill the weaknesses with each other’s strength.” Cadence sprouted a weak smile as the man’s hardened stare crumbled.

“Don’t you see? If you truly love each other, then nothing else will matter. You’ll look into each other’s eyes and the whole world will pass by. The nay sayers and the obstacles both will become nothing more than clouds on the flight path.”

“Cadence… I’m still—“

“Not. Finished.” Cadence stated firmly, but bearing a smile. She wiped her eyes before continuing. “William, you’re one of the most adaptable beings I’ve ever met. Your will to last so long, your strength to persevere in the face of adversity, and your goal to become the best you, pony or human, is admirable… inspiring.”

William’s jaw lowered but no words came out.

She then bopped him on the shoulder.

“But for how logical you’ve claimed to be, and whilst some of your reason are valid, you’re still a stupid male over thinking everything.” She giggled before moving in to lean against him. Both their gazes were stolen by Roxanne who decided to slink towards the room entrance behind them. All the while, the princess held a wry smile whilst William frowned as he processed what she had said.

“Is that one of those reverse compliments?” he muttered.

“I believe your growing out of the whole pros versus cons method of thinking. You did say you’ve stopped caring about a few things,” she added, patting his firm chest. “But you still know what’s good for you, so it’s more that you’ve lost the cynical version of thinking things through. This is the last hurdle, and you’ve had every reason to believe that love would hurt not just you but another.”

She giggled once more.

“But did you ever consider what would happen if it worked out?” She asked, looking to the fireplace. “To me, you’re a friend going through a rough patch, an infertile stallion believing he’s useless to others.” Looking back she saw him leaning back into the moonlight half of the couch. “Yet, other guys in your position still manage to be happy. To me, you’re an exotic fabled being that’s taken an interest in one pony who has managed to capture your heart. Many will think along the same lines.”

As he sat back up, his were eyes still locked on the fire but he was now bathing in its warm glow. She turned back to face the fire, her expression softening.

“You didn’t come here to ask me how to stop falling in love. You instead said ‘I’m scared that I might hurt somepony, and here are the reasons why’, without even knowing it.”

There was a short pause before she glanced back. William had his gaze set on the door this time. Upon looking herself, Cadence spotted Roxanne sniffing at the bottom of the door. She frowned before facing the man and bopping him on the shoulder again.

“Hey!”

“You’re right. Probably.” William replied, rubbing the fatigue from his eyes. He released another weary sigh, his head lazily rolling back over the top of the couch. He stared at the ceiling whilst breathing just loud enough to be heard. “Guess the sheer number of issues—the failed pony experiment, being told that if I become an alicorn I become a prince, the whole mistaken relationship things, and the lingering fear of facing another day alone— all influenced how I saw things.”

He felt a hoof reach for his hand and sat up to find Cadence holding it with a soft smile.

“Everypony gets scared, you more than others, when it comes to this. That’s fine. Just remember I'll be here for you, and so will every pony else."

"So here’s the ultimatum.” She then spoke whilst patting the couch to mark each point respectively, “You can let your feelings pass, but that only works on fleeting infatuations. You can let your feelings develop and endure not sharing your love until we’re back here again.”

That earned a wince.

“So there’s only two options that remain. In the end you face your love and get rejected, meaning that things may get awkward for a while or you go back to being friends. That’s where you might find melodrama.”

Cadence then smiled sweetly, stroking his hand in a comforting manner. “Or you confess your love and live happily ever after.” She gave him a gentle nuzzle on the shoulder to stop him from speaking.

“I know. You’d be different from most, in that you’re basically an infertile stallion, not to say it’s anything easy to live with… but you can, and when she refuses to leave your side you’ll look back on this moment and know I was right.” She leant back and took a deep breathe.

“This will be it, Will, your readjustment to Equestria is nearly over. This is your last fear. You’re scared but are you willing to change that?”

There was a pregnant pause as the man registered what she had said. She watched the process with intrigue. He seemed to frown at the thought as if his mind had tripped over the statement. Then his expression seemed to slowly melt into a blank stare as realisation set in. Finally, and perhaps her favourite thing of the night…

He laughed.

It was jovial, hearty, loud, and gut clutching. He writhed on the couch, straightening his body as he brought a hand to his mouth. It failed to muffle him and she could only hide her own grin behind a hoof when he curled back up.

When William slowed down to chuckling between pants he would glance between the room and Cadence, wide eyed as if he could see something amazing that she couldn’t.

“Whew, that, heh, that was fantastic!” he exclaimed with a bright smile.

“Glad to see you’re back,” Cadence commented before giggling, “Could have finished a bit sooner and in a less… boisterous fashion.” William simply waved her off, smirking as he had when he first walked in.

“Oh it would just be boring to wrap it all up like that,” he said with a wink, “I needed a laugh anyway, things were waaaay to mopey. Reasoning is good and all when I’m in the right frame of mind.” His attention snapped to Roxanne, who was pawing at the door. His gentle smirk shifted into a fanged grin. He then stretched his legs and grunted before climbing to his feet.

“That’s a worrying transformation, Will.” Cadence noted, eyeing him up and down with a concerned glance. She recoiled hoof as he blinked owlishly at her.

“No, that,” he replied whilst thumbing over his shoulder to the balcony, “was a worrying transformation.” He slowly folded his arms as he tutted. “Not my finest moment but that’s yet to come.” He finished with a gentle smile. “From now on, with my head being a little bit clearer, I should be fine. If not then I promise to get professional help.”

“That’s good to hear.” Princess Cadence hopped off the couch, stretching her wings as a cute yawn escaped her, “Dear me, we’ve been at it for a while.” She blushed and smiled meekly. He rolled his eyes, the act causing fatigue to instantly best his features. His eyelids became heavy and his movements sluggish as he turned towards the door.

“That’s the fun run coming back to bite me,” he murmured to himself, stretching his arms out and arching his back. Upon finishing he trudged towards the door, his steps silent and slow. He stopped halfway between the couch and the door, snapping his fingers. He turned as Roxanne ran towards him.

With an exaggerated bow he said, “Princess Cadence… Cadence.” He looked up with a cheeky grin. “Pretty Pink Pony Princess,” he said, ending with a chuckle. The princess was tempted to roll her eyes or launch the cushion, but felt she should let him speak. She was glad to see him back to normal.

“William, my favourite human,” she replied in kind with a nod of the head.

“Thank you,” he said softly, earnest eyes matching his genial smile. “I bid thee goodnight and sweet dreams,” he finished before turning to strut towards the door.

“Hey! Wait!” Cadence managed to bark despite the fatigue. “Pretty Pink Pony Princess demands to know who it is!”

“Oh yeah,” he replied, looking over his shoulder as he stopped with the door within reach. She watched him slowly reach for the handle as he look back to her, that predatory smile on his face. “I’m gonna tell you who I may or may not ask out one day!” He then paused for dramatic effect. For what felt like a minute, time stopped and then started after he shot her a wink.

The next passing moment happened in a blur for the Princess of Love but upon looking back she recalled the details.

He swiftly pulled the door open, side stepping swiftly to not be caught in the avalanche.

The avalanche was compose of a few ponies, the coats visible through a blinding flash of light were ivory, cyan and soft lavender. Their combined cries were silenced by a unanimous “Oomph.”

The blinding light was, notably, a night sky navy. After the departure of the flash three more ponies joined the pile, one orange, one pink, and one yellow.

As the tangled mess of wings and hooves worked themselves free, William took a moment to speak above their groans.

“I am so relieved there were ponies behind this door,” he stated with a sigh, silencing the group of six. Everypony look to him with disbelief, those who had eavesdropped held an expression akin to a foal caught with their hooves in the biscuit tin. William simply chuckled at the sight. “I mean, can you imagined how awkward that would have been if no one was actually there?”

He shifted his gaze to Roxanne.

“So these were the ponies who kept bothering you all evening?”

He didn’t even bother to listen to the ponies' rushed apologies, instead he opted to slide past the pile before continuing down the hall. Roxanne gave the butterscotch pegasus a small lick before following her owner.

“Girls… I’m knackered and I have a lot to think about tonight, please direct all question to Princess Cadence,” he said over his shoulder. “I’m sure she and you guys can have a lovely chat but I’m beat. Good night!”

Cadence watched the man, noticing both the saunter in his steps and the hand combing his hair.

’He’s not there yet,’ she thought with a smile, ‘but he’ll make it.’

Her attention then turned to the emerging purple alicorn, working the ache out of her wing.

“Well, Twily,” she began, catching the mare off guard, “Why don’t we have a nice talk over a cup of tea, hmm?” With an arched brow and sly grin her horn glowed. Cadence’s mystical aura wrapped around the door, closing it and sealing the six ponies in the room with her.

Twilight giggled nervously, looking to her friends for support before offering a sheepish smile.

“I’m… so, so sorry,” she said with a shameful tone and with a bashful kick of the hoof. “We’ve all been worried about him and we thought this was something big… besides it is all totally Princess Luna’s fault.”

“Girls,” Cadence began, trotting towards the couch closest to the book shelves, “I don’t care how much you heard, you can face William tomorrow and apologise. But for now we’ve got a lot to talk about.” She steepled her hooves together and inspected each of the ponies that solemnly made their way over.

Rainbow spoke up from where she hovered by the fireplace. “We are so, so sorry, Princess, but it’s like Twilight says, the big guy’s been acting weird when he thinks no one’s looking.”

“Feller’s been bottling it all up, could see that coming better than Granny could spot a bad apple for cider season,” Apple Jack added gloomily, taking up a seat with her stetson in her hooves.

“I’m sure we can voice our concerns all we want girls,” Rarity chimed, taking the spot William had occupied moments ago, “It won’t excuse us for eaves dropping on our friend during such a… raw moment.” She passed a glance to a deflated Pinkie, currently being patted on the back by Fluttershy.

“We normally see him as he was seconds ago… to hear him…like he was outside,” Fluttershy said softly, her ears falling as she nuzzled the pink pony. “I don’t think I’ve heard him so upset, poor thing.”

“How did you hear what went on outside?” Cadence asked, catching Rainbow rubbing the back of her neck and whistling nonchalantly. With an eye roll the alicorn perked up. “Don’t worry, things worked out for the better,” Princess Cadence said with a soft smile, “Although he might need a hoof, or a hand in his case, to keep him smiling.” She redirected her gaze towards Pinkie Pie, earning dutiful nod.

“No problem! He won’t even be able to think about frowning with me on duty!” Her statement was reinforced by a salute seconds later. “I’ll watch him breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, and dinner!” she chirped.

“You don’t have to eat with him all the time.”

“He does live with the Cakes, sharing a room with Pinkie,” Twilight pointed out, “He’s almost saved enough for his own place… though he kind of crashes between there and Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Girls, I’m willing forgive your mistake if you can answer one question,” Cadence said with a quirked brow. “Does anypony have any idea who he has a crush on?”

Author's Note

"Turningly". He's British. We can say things that aren't actually words and get away with it.

Anyway, this was added seconds after the final chapter was posted-- forgot to add this before publishing the chapter but hey.

This was an experiment in writing, dialogue, exposition, and a general way for me to get back into writing. I'm happy with my story, I'm happy that people wanted to read this, and i'm happy that people commented about it. Some people may not like the herd aspect, neither do I, but I like the idea of Equestria having a culture alien to us, and that kind of makes sense.

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Like, favourite, comment, eject from your seat, erect a dispenser, etc.