Two Parts of the Job

Unit One watched from the street corner while the cream-coloured earth-pony exited the hospital. Taking note of the fact that he was wearing clothing, granted it was just a vest and tie, she guessed that he was some sort of specialist brought in from another location.

She ducked her head to peer into the bag around her neck when he glanced around, making it look like she was searching for an item. The bag was empty save for a few coins, and when she looked back up he was trotting off towards the large tree in the centre of the town. A spark of curiosity going through her circuits, she decided to follow him and learn some more information.

Already she knew that the large tree served as both a library and, strangely, the residence of the local ruling ‘princess’. She’d gone by it once before as the Princess had developed a fascination with her quarry, something that Unit One saw as a potential problem.

Trotting after the vest-wearing stallion, she stuck to the closed shops. He didn’t seem as skittish as the other ponies, continuing to trot without looking around fearfully. It was a breeze to follow him and she soon found herself watching him enter the treehouse.

Equine guards in their shiny armour filled the area, all of them armed with simple spears and swords. The pony she had been following spent a few moments looking around before heading towards the library door. Unit One searched around the courtyard, trotting towards a bench at the far side of the area.

Guards only gave her a passing glance when she passed them, prompting a small smirk from her. They were so convinced that it wasn’t a pony they were after that they flat out ignored her, and while it was true in a way, it was fairly sloppy on their behalf.

Then again, judging from their society she doubted that they could even comprehend what she was.

Sitting down on the bench, she surveyed the area while swivelling an ear towards the conversation going on between the stallion and the door guards.

“-when talking to the Princess, she’s rather… emotional about the murder. She had a habit of talking to the humans, apparently.”
It seemed like she was just in time to catch the tail end of their conversation. Noticing that the stallion she was stalking was permitted entrance into the library, she fine-tuned her audio microphones in an attempt to listen in further.

She winced when she was met with a mass of chattering voices, evidently the inside of the library was packed full of the local equines. Focusing, she searched for any indication of the voices she was after.

“-metal devices here serve as ammunition, like crossbow bolts, for the weapon.”

‘There,’ she thought. Filtering out the ambient noise, she could hear the female speak with more clarity. From the tone she figured that the mare was some kind of scientist, and Unit One also worked out that she was likely talking about the ballistic firearms left at the scene.

It mattered not that the ponies now had guns, the simple ballistic weapons were millennia old in design. More voices joined the scientist, including the pony Princess, and they were all debating the usefulness of the firearms. She snorted when a male dismissed the guns as harmless. They may have been simple in design, but even a single gun could wreak havoc with the pony guards.

“The victim was taken by surprise or didn’t fear his attacker.”

Unit One leaned in closer when the new male voice informed the group of his accurate information. His accent was different to the others, and she put her money on him being the sharp-dressed pony that she had followed.

“I just came from the Mortician; he was killed by a single thrust through his heart from an unknown blade. There were no signs of defensive wounds or other marks on the body indicating that he never saw an attack coming.”

“Spot on,” she murmured, making a note to mix things up in the future. The way he delivered the information led her to believe that he was some form of law enforcement, an even better reason to keep tabs on him.

She kept on listening, the ponies going through their ideas of who could possibly be the killer. Her smile at one of the males insisting that it was another human was short lived, a second voice dismissing the idea and saying that they couldn’t rule ‘anypony’ out. That was a shame; she was enjoying not being a suspect.

The ponies once again continued their discussion, until they reached one key point. With a grin, she listened while the foreign voice explained about her note and ‘gift’.

“Now, the head itself is certainly a sign that our suspect is not… ‘normal’, but it was more of the note that was the real interest.”

Not normal? The nerve of him, she was starting to doubt her interest. Still, she was curious to hear what he thought of her note.

“It had, let me see here, ‘Innsberg Sorting Accountants’ written on it as the sender.”

She couldn’t help but grin at her little joke. Oh, how she wished she could have seen the reaction of her prey when they found out just who had come to bring them to justice. The funniest part was that she was far, far worse than an ordinary agent.

Continuing to eavesdrop, she waited for the ponies once again. They talked about the nervous nature of the humans, the childish notion that their guards would stop her from killing another human, and the most important thing of all to her.

Their plans.

‘So, it seems like they’re going to try and talk to them,’ she mused. ‘Heh, that will be interesting.’ Figuring it would be best to be careful, she stayed and tried to pick up any additional information. She was rewarded with the name of the pony she’d been trailing, Unit One raising an eyebrow with interest. ‘Shetlock, what a strange name.’

Leaving the bench, she turned and headed back towards the town. It seemed like her next steps were to repeat her actions here at the inn, and to find out if the humans were willing to leave their makeshift fort.

Trotting along the cobbled path with a whistle, she entered the market district. There weren’t many stalls open, likely due to the fact that she had killed and decapitated someone the previous night, but she recognised a few of them.

Unfortunately, someone recognised her as well.

“Mellow!”

Cursing to herself, she looked to her left to find a white mare with a red mane wave a hoof at her. As if that wasn’t enough for an identification, the mare was also standing behind a stall heaped with fresh roses. Putting on a fake smile, Unit One trotted over towards Roseluck. She had to maintain her cover, especially with the newfound police interest.

“Roseluck,” she greeted back, stopping out the front of the store. “I must say, your party the other night was fun.”

“Yeah, about that,” Roseluck continued, lowering her voice. “Are you okay, walking around the town?”

“What?” she replied, tilting her head like she had seen the ponies do when curious.

“You know, with the murder…”

Oh, that was it, Roseluck was worried for her. It was kind of sweet really, and Unit One appreciated the concern.

Even if she was the last person to be worried about getting murdered.

“You’re still out,” she pointed out, Roseluck wincing.

“I don’t have a choice, I’ve got a business to run after all,” she answered, before glancing around at the empty markets. “Then again, it’s not like I’m swarming with customers.”

A twinge of guilt hit Unit One at that, despite not knowing her Roseluck had invited her into her house to meet her friends. She didn’t tend to have many friends, anyone who got to really know her tended to be wary about the small fact that she was a shape shifting AI automation that worked for one of the most feared intelligence agencies in existence. Carefully using her mouth, she withdrew a shiny gold coin from her bag. “I’ll take a rose.”

“Thanks Mellow,” Roseluck acknowledged, passing across one of the largest.

“No problem, they’re great roses.” Tucking it away in her bag with the top sticking out, she managed to catch a glimpse of the stallion named Shetlock passing by. He was carrying a brown box on his back and he paused, looking towards her and Rose. She acted nonchalant, returning her gaze to Roseluck. “So, I assume that your sisters are still refusing to come out of their homes?”

Roseluck sighed. “Yes, as if it wasn’t bad enough when the humans were just walking around. Now, I don’t think they’ll ever come back out.”

Oh, if only she knew just how much worse things were going to get for the small town. Unit One noticed that Shetlock had moved on from behind them, the stallion moving towards the inn down the street. With her goal in mind, Unit One smiled apologetically at Roseluck.

“Oh, well I better be off, things to do and such.”

“Okay then, I’ll see you later.”

“Bye,” she bid farewell to the flower vendor, trotting down the street towards the inn. She paused at the edge of the market, waiting until Shetlock had entered the building. Spying an empty cart sitting in a side street, she trotted over to it and made a show of rummaging around in her bag. Once again aiming her ears at the inn across the street, she tried to pick up a trace of the conversation.

“I’ve come here… Simon wanted to know… personal items we found at the… scene.”

She scowled, even with her advanced sensors the conversation was dropping in and out. Still, she couldn’t risk getting any closer to the inn; she could see the groups of guards maintaining a watch on the entrance and sides. Now was not the time to reveal herself just yet, there were still some final touches to put into place.

Fighting to find some valuable information despite the problems, her ears perked up when she heard one particular burst of words from Shetlock.

“You move.. We arrange for… guards, some with magical shields, to escort… this room and into accommodations in-.”

“Well, hello there.”

The male voice interrupted her spying right at the crucial part, Unit One recognising the tone.

Usually she was the one hitting on people.

Looking up, her right hoof posed to form a blade and stab the stallion if needed, her gaze was met by a single armoured guard. He was the same white and blue as all of them, however the difference was his smile. She could see his eyes roaming her fabricated body, Unit resisting the urge to roll her optics.

Out of all the guards to be stopped by, she seemed to get the horny one.

Great.

“I’m sorry Officer, do you want something?” It came out a little harsher than she intended, but she was still cross that he had interrupted her. In response, the stallion raised a hoof to calm her.

“I was just concerned about you,” he tried. “There’s a killer on the loose, after all.”

‘You better watch out that you yourself don’t piss the killer off any more, slimeball.’

“I can handle myself.”

“I know that Miss, but surely you’d appreciate me walking you back to your house just in case-“

“Private!”

The stallion went ramrod straight at the angry yell, another guard approaching them.

“Yes sir!”

“Are you harassing another mare!?”

Unit One had to suppress her laughter at the officer who had rushed over from the market and was glaring at the Private with only a snout’s distance between them. It was almost worth the interruption.

“No sir, I was merely asking her if she wanted-“

“I know full well what you were trying to do!” the officer bellowed, pointing a hoof towards the market. “Now return to your sergeant and consider yourself warned! I see this behavior again and I’ll have you stationed on the border!”

The threat was obviously a dire one, the Private rushing off to follow the order. Unit One looked at the officer, the stallion still fuming. “Thank you, sir.”

“It’s no problem ma’am, there’s always a few who need to learn how to conduct themselves. Do you need anything?”

“No thanks, I was just heading home.”

He nodded at her reply, turning and trotting back towards the market. “Okay then, take care.”

With a final nod, she turned down the side street and made for her makeshift camp. She had a stakeout to conduct, and she suspected that she’d need a few of her supplies.

Concealed upon the roof of the inn behind a chimney, Unit One peered out to watch as the group of guards approached. Zooming in with her optics she could see that they were led by an officer and Shetlock. Also of note were the strange half-bat, half-ponies that were amongst them, armoured in lacquered purple armour.

‘Huh, R and D would love to get their hands on them,’ she thought while observing them, knowing more than one xenobiologist in the Research Department who’d be interested in the bat-ponies. Looking over the rest of the street, she noticed the groups of guards concealing themselves around the area. Unfortunately for them, they lit up amazingly well on her thermal sensors.

She focused back on the twelve ponies making their way down the street, the guards armed with short blades. Each one was staring straight ahead while they approached her position, but she could see their eyes glancing over every alleyway and street they passed by. They were obviously waiting for her to make an appearance, and they dreaded her doing so.

‘Good, it’d be best not to disappoint them.’

Unit One smoothly hid back behind the chimney when the gaze of a bat-pony came close to her. With a grin, she acknowledged that so far they had been the only ponies wise enough to actually look up at the rooftops. Waiting until she heard the group enter the inn, she prepared herself for their exit.

Silently, the matter making up the inside of her left foreleg emerged from the bottom of her hoof in the form of a thin, silver blade a mere molecule thin at the point. Pressing her other hoof against her stomach, the fake fur and skin parted. The nanomachines that made up her body parted to allow access to the storage compartment she had created, a single cylinder dropping silently into the awaiting hoof.

Checking over the standard stun grenade she had brought with her on the assignment, she examined it for any visible issues. Satisfied that it would perform as expected, no real surprise with the usual reliability of standard issue UIP gear, she kept it held in her hoof via the slight magnetic field she was creating there.

The things one could do when they were nothing more than groups of nanomachines held together with a variable energy field.

Her plan was simple: wait for the ponies to exit the inn with the humans, throw the stun grenade, leap off the rooftop while everyone was blinded and deaf, kill her targets quickly and then avoid any remaining guards. It was a shame to end the fun so early, but there was no point in tormenting her quarry if she wasn’t going to get a chance to kill them. The Equines were a primitive people, but apparently they possessed some form of magic so she couldn’t underestimate them that easily.

Movement at the inn door drew her attention, Unit One preparing to strike while the guards and humans exited. A grin crossed her face when she counted half of the guards and only three humans. Focusing, she searched the hotel with her heat sensors and laid eyes upon a most wondrous sight.

One of the humans was still in the room, with only six guards as well.

To be honest it appeared to be a very obvious trap, she could think of no other reason as to why they had split into two smaller groups. Still, a lone human was a lone human, and she was fully prepared to play their game.

As silently as possible, she reversed towards the back of the inn, aiming for a room down the hall. Reaching the edge of the roof, she checked and found no guards watching the particular side. Thanking their carelessness, she took another step back and dropped down off the roof.

Falling past her targeted room’s window, she stuck her unladen hoof out. The synthetic flesh formed a sturdy hook, and she jolted to a stop to hang off the wall. With mechanical strength and strategic relocation of her body mass, she hauled herself up to the window. It was unlocked, thankfully she didn’t have to sear the lock off the gain entry. Swinging up inside, she landed on three hooves and quietly made her way towards the door.

With her optics still set to thermal signals, she saw that the hallway was empty. Opening her room door and closing it again, she approached the room that held her target. Pausing only to make the needed adjustments to her voice, she banged a hoof on the door rapidly.

“Help!” she yelled, her voice an exact copy of the soldier that had tried to pick her up earlier that day. “We were attacked, the killer is heading this way!” She had always known that her artificial talent for mimicry was amazing, but still she was pleasantly surprised with how scared she managed to sound while franticly knocking.

The soldiers on the other side of the door didn’t even question her, one of them approaching the door and making for the handle with a hoof. She stepped to the side, out of sight while she waited for the door to open.

Her right optic twitched when the door had a hoof-wide space crack. With the targeting systems in her brain working overdrive, she timed it just right and activated her stun grenade. With a toss, it flew through the small gap and she could hear it clatter upon the wooden floor.

And then it went off.

A thunderous clap of sound, a bellow of smoke and a blinding flash of light rang out from the small room, Unit One charging towards the door with her sensors immune to the sudden burst of sound and light.

Her shoulder smacked into the half-open barrier, her unnatural strength busting the door off its flimsy metal hinges. It flew inwards, Unit One hearing a muffled grunt and a crack from her right. She continued to charge into the smoke, hunting for her quarry.

A stumbling bat pony received a hoof-strike to the helmet, the metal crumpling due to the force of the blow. The mare dropped to the ground with a thump, Unit One moving straight on to clock a unicorn in the cheek with a second strike. He quickly joined his fellow guard on the ground, Unit One not uttering a sound as she quickly disposed of the rest.

The other three still standing were soon awarded their own injuries, focused strikes crumpling helmets like tin and smashing faces.
Unit One whirled around to face the bathroom, her body pulsing with energy.

At that moment, she felt alive.

Hastily trotting towards the open door, she was met with the cold grey barrel of a handgun to her forehead.

“A-a pony?” the bespectacled teenager holding the gun uttered with confusion. He was blinking his eyes rapidly, but it seemed like he hadn’t caught the full force of the grenade’s blast unlike his guards.

Unit One didn’t give him the chance to fully recover, lashing out with her right hoof. Tendrils formed from herself, the energy-bonded micro-machines wrapping around the gun held in the human’s hand. He screamed when she squeezed, crushing the gun and his hand into a ball of blood, flesh, and metal. It dropped from his hand and he reeled back, giving her room to sink her blade into his heart.

His voice cut off and his eyes widened, the teenager swaying slightly. She pushed forwards towards the bathtub filled with a backpack and assorted supplies, the impaled human stumbling back. He fell into the bath with a thud, his head cracking against the wall.

It mattered not, he was already dead.

Removing her weapon from his gore-soaked chest, she quickly slit his abdomen open and watched while the organs fell out onto his lap. She couldn’t help but tear out the human’s throat as well, it was sure to send the right message to the rest. Dropping the remainder of the larynx on the ground, she took a moment to admire the scene she had created.

Biological components had always fascinated her, and she was thankful that her work allowed her to study them frequently. However, now was not the time to dwell on the magnificent machinery that was biological bodies, she had an inn to escape.

The blade withdrew into her hoof, taking some of the slain human’s blood with it. She felt giddy while she felt the vital life fluid merge with her own form, the precious liquid oddly soothing to consume. Taking a quick microsecond break to delight in the feel of the numerous biological cells running against her artificial ones, she rushed out of the bathroom and headed for one of the room’s windows.

Jumping out, she ignored the glass shards getting caught in her fur and focused on her objective. Her boy bounced off the stone wall of the house forming the other side of the alley, and she managed to right herself before hitting the ground.

Landing on all four hooves, the kinetic force of the landing being distributed by her body around her entire form as additional energy, she formed an on-the-spot plan to further throw off her pursuers. Already she could hear them in the room above, the shouting waking up the entire town. She concealed herself behind a pile of cardboard boxes, drawing in moisture from the surrounding air. Compressing the moisture internally and forming tears, she let out a sniffle.

It wasn’t long before she had gotten a decent number of tears to flow, her sniffles increasing while she curled up in a ball and awaited rescue.

“Shh! Hear that?”

Unit One continued to cry while she listened to the ponies approach, making sure to appear nice and helpless.

“Hello?” a second voice that she recognised called out. “I’m Detective Shetlock with the police.”

“P-police?” she stammered back.

“Yes ma’am, and I have some royal guards with me as well. “You can come out, it’s safe now.” Taking that as her cue, she pushed aside a box before coming face-to-face with Detective Shetlock. The stallion was still wearing his vest, and was staring at her with concern. She made a show of looking around at the guards before she quivered her mouth. He stepped towards her and she moved into an embrace, both of them sitting on their rumps while she sobbed into his shoulder.

“It was so scary!” she bawled, implementing the next part of the plan.. “There was a loud bang, and yells, and then a scream. I looked up and this huge… thing jumped out of the window and landed on the ground! It stood up on two legs and I barely had time to hide before it looked around. Then it disappeared down that way!”

Upon pointing a hoof towards the far end of the alley, she allowed herself a small smile while her face was buried into Shetlock’s shoulder. It was perfect, playing on most of the ponies’ opinions that it was a human killing other humans. Judging from the glares of the armoured guards, they had already suspected as such.

“Are you okay here Shetlock?” The guard officer, wearing ornate armour tabs inquired. She felt the stallion she was hugging nod, Unit One slowing her sobs. “We’ll chase this scumbag down, you help the mare and we’ll meet at the hospital to talk to Strike.”

Hooves clattered on the cobbled ground, Unit One counting them and working out that she and the Detective were alone.

“What’s your name, ma’am?” he asked, and she lifted her head from his shoulder.

“Mellow,” she answered before continuing on with a risky explanation. “I’m staying in this inn, and I was just walking home from a friend’s house."

“That’s a brave thing to do, for a nice mare like you with all of this going on.”

Oh, how she relished the ponies constantly seeing her as an innocent victim. She might have to try and use her current form more often, who knew what she could get away with as a cute and innocent young mare back home?

Shaking her head to keep in character, she sniffed once more. “No, it was a stupid thing to do,” she mumbled, the Detective giving her a warm smile.

“Come on, let’s get you out of the alley,” he offered, Unit One nodding and rising with him. She stuck close to him while he led her out of the alley and into the dark street. It was swarming with frantic guards, a huge mass crowding around the inn itself. She saw Shetlock wince when he looked at the inn, no doubt remembering her handiwork.

“I don’t suppose you know of another place to stay?”

She nodded at his inquiry, smiling back thankfully. “I think the local bar has a few rooms for rent,” she replied. “I’ve got money, so I’ll just go there.”

“Let me walk you.”

“No, thank you though, Detective. I should be able to make it there by myself; all of the guards are around now anyway and you probably have work to do.”

‘Even if you are a gentleman for asking,’ she thought, warming up to the pony stallion. He glanced around the area, his face scrunching while he observed the chaos.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she answered, her smile genuine this time. “Thank you Detective, you’re a good pony.”

He gave her a nod of acknowledgement and she turned to trot off, a smile on her face while she left the nice stallion behind to deal with the aftermath.

She’d met a nice stallion and she’d managed to successfully eliminate another target while shifting the blame onto a non-existent human.

It called for a celebratory drink.

Unit One took another sip of her drink, the hard whisky a delight to her. The delightful blend of ethanol and carboxylic acids, amongst other equally interesting chemical components, traveled down her throat and into the fake stomach that she had formed. Instead of digesting it and allowing it to absorb into her bloodstream like a biological lifeform would, she was content to savor the taste and examine its makeup.

“You’re that Detective working on the case?”

The words caught her attention, Unit One raising her snout from her drink and looking over the heads of the stallions on the neighboring table. Sitting at the bar was none other than Detective Shetlock, the stallion looking like he needed a stiff drink and then some. What a stroke of luck, and Unit One was already smiling to herself.

There was much more to intelligence work than just hunting down traitors and dissidents, and thankfully she had also been designed for the plan she had in mind. Going off her memory of watching numerous fellow intelligence officers get hammered at work parties, she slid away from her booth and walked with an unsteady step towards the bar.

“Hey.” He looked towards her at the greeting, and she clambered onto the empty stool beside him.

“Miss Mellow, I’m surprised to see you here.”

“Yeah, well, I needed a drink,” she replied, taking care to slur a few words. She took another sip of her whisky before smiling at him. “The same with you?”

“That’s right,” he answered, draining his glass with a gulp. He set it down and turned towards her, Unit One examining him intently. “How are you coping?”

“Pretty good now that I’ve got another room and some booze,” she lied. She had booze, but had neglected asking about a room to stay in. Up until the present moment, she had planned on just returning to her basement hideout. “So, you’re from the city?”

“Manehattan,” he informed, Unit One taking note that he was from her cover city. That would be an issue that she would have to look out for. A clunk drew both of their attentions, the bartender furnishing Shetlock with another full glass. She noticed the bartender wink at Shetlock, and she grinned while pretending not to notice.

She watched Shetlock stare at the glass for a moment before he lifted it up with the crock of his hoof. The stallion drank from it, draining a third of it at once. As he set it down, she began to impulsively circle her hoof on the bar with a sultry smile.

“So, that means you’re staying in that inn, correct?”

He seemed wary at her question, but he soon relaxed and answered. “No, I was actually going to head back to the guard camp and borrow a tent after this drink.”

“Oh,” she continued, preparing for the final stage of her plan. She waited until he had taken another drink, Shetlock hopefully about to agree to her proposal. Focusing, clumps of nanomachines forming her cheeks glowed red, giving the illusion that she was blushing. “Um, Detective Shetlock, did you… did you maybe want to share my room with me tonight?”

OF course, she had no such room yet, but that was a second concern behind his surprised expression. He seemed lost for words, and she could see his brain putting the pieces together. Quickly relaxing, he tilted his head at her.

“Are you sure?”

“I am,” she confirmed, nodding her head. He paused to take another drink, finishing his glass and staring off into space for a second. She waited for him, and was rewarded when he looked back at her.

“Okay then.”

“Great,” she gushed, nodding towards the stairwell. “I’ll meet you up there.”

He smiled and left his seat, Unit One watching him trot up the stairs and out of sight. Turning towards the bartender, she found the brown had a slight smile on his face and a key in his green magic.

“Here,” he told her. “I keep a set of keys down here in case of drunks and the like. Take it and pay for it in the morning.”

“Thanks,” she whispered, holding in a giggle before taking the offered key with a hoof and leaving her seat.
She headed to the stairs with a bounce, anticipating her second most favorite part of her job.