Ponies on Bronies

by Ravenmane

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, Romance, Original Character, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 64742

Shenanigans return to a familiar house that sits on a hill overlooking the Everfree Forest

A new story right where we left off last time. Shall we find out how well Alex is fitting in? From Canterlot to the usual shenanigans found around Ponyville. Nothing could possibly go wrong right? Right?

This story is rated PL (Princess Luna) for suggestive themes, shipping, and my own brand of shoving someone into the gutter. Edited to Teen for later chapters becoming more sensual.

Author's Note: Workin' on that wedding I was going to cheat you all out of, please stand by.

Published 2012-04-24 15:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-06 10:05:05 UTC

2 - The Party's Fallout

Saturday, 12:30 PM

“Come on Pinkie.” She was either screwing with me, or something was actually wrong. “If you’re joking I’m not laughing.” It’s been an hour since Rainbow left and I’ve done just about everything I could think of to stir the party pony, hell I even tried some nice and powerful wake-up juice. At least she was still breathing.

Let me catch you up a little. Alex here again, Pinkie threw me a welcome party yesterday. Everypony else has gotten up, at least the ones that didn’t get home last night. Some complained, others whined, and Rainbow screamed, but each of them is in some semblance of conscious. Pinkie, on the other hand, is the only one who hasn’t come around. She apparently tried getting to the door but only made it halfway there from the looks of it.

I am in Equestria for about twenty-four hours and this happens. What pony in their right mind wouldn’t think that I’m a horrible person? I bit my lip and hoisted Pinkie up. This is not how I wanted to go to town, Pinkie on my back while looking for the hospital.

As I approached Ponyville, I saw Rainbow moving a cloud into position in the sky. “Rainbow,” I yelled at the top of my lungs. After a second attempt, I managed to catch her attention as she flew down.

“Al, what the hay happened?” Rainbow looked seriously worried about Pinkie.

“I need directions to the hospital ‘cause if she’s fooling around I don’t think we’re laughing.” We may have had drinking games back on Earth, but nopony ever got this bad.

Rainbow nodded and led the way at what anyone else would consider a brisk pace. She knew I was being slowed down while carrying the party pony, on the ground, and bipedal.

*****

12:50 PM

As the hospital came into view, Rainbow sped up, rushing ahead to inform a doctor to be ready for us. I jostled Pinkie one last time before heading in. This was still a bad sign, no response and her breathing had dropped. Her heartbeat was weak; I could at least still feel it resonate hard against my back.

When I managed to make it there, I saw a stretcher, Rainbow, and a pair of nurses, one of which I recognized from the show as Nurse Redheart, waiting for us.

“How long has she been like this,” Nurse Redheart asked.

I got her on the stretcher and went along with them, at a run to keep up with them. “I don’t know, she threw me a party last night and didn’t even make it out my door. I’ve tried everything I know to get her to come around, but her breathing is growing shallower and her pulse is falling.”

“Do you know what she’s drunk?”

“Far less than anything in the last few months that I had seen her. But that was before summer, has she had any complications since then?”

“We have a doctor pulling up her file right now. We’ll get her up and going so don’t worry.”

I shook my head, “I’m her friend and I’m staying with her. She passed out in my house and I’m not going to feel better until I know she’s in the clear.”

As the other nurse and Rainbow continued to cart Pinkie along, Nurse Redheart pulled me aside. “Tell me exactly what happened.”

“We were partying and enjoying ourselves, about twenty other ponies can vouch for that. I’m not sure about everything since, by all reports, I was out cold before the party ended. Somewhere along the lines, at least six ponies passed out in my house. Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Berry Punch, Lyra Heartstrings, and Lily but I didn’t quite catch the rest of Lily’s name.”

“That was Pinkie’s welcome party for our new human resident right?”

I gave her a ‘not amused’ glare. “I’m not sure whether to be insulted or complimented by that remark.”

“I’m sorry,” she explained, “but that was how I heard of it. Miss Heartstrings was in here for an appointment a few days ago and she was talking non-stop about it.”

Lyra, I should’ve expected her. She was probably a good way for Pinkie to pass the word along to anypony she couldn’t get to. That tone before could’ve still been interpreted either way, thankfully Nurse Redheart could explain it some. “Is there anything else you need to know?”

“No, I think that’s everything. Since you’re staying, we can ask you if anything else comes up. The waiting room is back down the hall, take the first left and it will be at the end. The best thing you can do for her right now is give her time.” She turned around and headed off towards where Rainbow and the other nurse went.

*****

I was joined in the waiting room by Rainbow after a few moments. I glanced over to her. “How is she?”

Rainbow shook her head. “I don’t know they brushed me off.”

“Want to go and get anyone else?”

“I think we should wait, so we have something to tell them.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Not even the Cakes?”

Rainbow’s eyes widened and she gulped hard. “I’ll head to Sugarcube Corner. They’ll need somepony to watch Pound and Pumpkin, but you’re right.” She rushed out, leaving me to twiddle my thumbs.

*****

1:30 PM

I had stopped literally twiddling my thumbs half an hour ago, when a little filly came up and told me it was bothering her. I had gone straight to worried pacing after hearing that, slouching some so I wouldn’t end up using the ceiling to grate my face. Granted there’s lots of extra space from a pony’s point of view, at six feet I’d at least run my forehead raw. Waiting to hear something about Pinkie was hard for me to handle. My self-inflicted guilt had become all-consuming by now.

“Al,” Rainbow’s voice snapped me out of my pacing. She was flying back, accompanied by Mr. and Mrs. Cake. “Have you heard anything about Pinkie?”

I shook my head. “Not a single word Rainbow.” I looked to the Cakes, how concerned they were scared me.

“Pinkie’s practically family,” Mr. Cake finally managed to say.

“What happened?” Mrs. Cake added.

I sat back down and the Cakes came over to my side. “Pinkie had too much to drink last night. I’m not sure what she had, but she was still breathing and her heart was still beating when I last saw her. Nurse Redheart told me to wait for news but it’s been forty minutes.”

“Al, Pinkie’s tough,” said Rainbow encouragingly. “She’ll pull through so don’t beat yourself up.”

Nurse Redheart finally came into my sight. She saw the four of us clustered together and came over. “Pinkie Pie’s under heavy sedation right now,” she explained, “we had to sedate her so she couldn’t leave her bed. That girl just has too much energy, but she’ll be fine after a day or two under our care.”

We all gave a collective sigh. “Thank you Nurse Redheart,” I managed to choke out, “I was really getting terrified.”

She just smiled at me. “Well, as for you, we need some information on humans if you intend to stay in Ponyville, and we’ll have to give you a full physical after that.”

I nodded. I was expecting to have to show up for a physical eventually, but I also knew I’d have to provide human biology texts.

“Can I have your name as well? It’s for our records.”

“Alexander,” I replied as calmly. “How about you get back to work Rainbow?”

Rainbow groaned. “But I want to see Pinkie.”

“Come back later today Rainbow Dash,” quipped Nurse Redheart. “She should be conscious after a few hours.”

Regardless of how anxious she was to see her friend, Rainbow left. She had clumsily tried to pass off my excuse of work helping to whittle time away.

“Thank you for being so responsible Alexander,” added Mr. Cake.

“Please Mr. Cake,” I replied cheerfully, “call me Alex.”

*****

6:00 PM

Everybody had congregated in Pinkie’s hospital room. She was leashed to her bed with several straps and a strait jacket, which she was trying to escape from. “Pinkie, you need to just relax.” Twilight reminded. “You need bed rest and I think you should stay in the hospital like the doctors said.”

“But,” Pinkie fidgeted in her attempt to escape the jacket, “I have a party backed up for Lyra and I have to prepare everything for it. It’s supposed to be on Monday! I can’t prepare it if I’m in here.” Pinkie managed to escape from one of the straps holding her down during her explanation.

“I think I can convince Lyra to delay her party,” I said nonchalantly.

“But she wanted it on her birthday! She wanted to celebrate being right on her birthday!”

“Actually Pinkie Ah think Alex can convince her,” added Applejack. “He’s a human, an’ she wants to prove humans exist with a party right?”

Pinkie nodded and resigned to the fact she was stuck in her bed, now trying to escape her jacket for everypony’s amusement.

“I’ll ask her as soon as I see her Pinkie.” I looked around to everypony else. “Could all of you direct Lyra to my house if you see her?” Everyone nodded in agreement.

“If she comes to visit and ask about her party I’ll send her to you Alley.”

*****

Sunday, 10:45 AM

For the past two hours, I’ve been getting familiar with Ponyville while looking for Lyra. I searched a lot last night as well, hoping to run into her as I tried to get used to the layout of the town. Most ponies who came to the party Pinkie threw me gave me a wave, while others whispered among themselves.

“Alex,” Twilight called out to me, “come over here!”

I ran over to her and noticed the town hall a stone’s throw behind her. “Did you find her Twilight?”

“No,” she started to lead me towards the building, “but the Mayor asked me to find you. She wants to see you at once.”

I gave her a curious expression. “Did she say what it’s for?”

“It’s just a formality. She wants you to just fill in some paperwork for records.”

The front doors were tall enough to accompany someone my size, but I would soon find myself crouching to get into the mayor’s office. “Well,” she said as she adjusted her glasses, “I’ve been expecting you for a little while now, Alexander. Miss Sparkle found you easily enough?”

“Yes ma’am,” I had to remember to be nice and formal with the mayor. I knew it was best to stay on her good side now that I lived in Ponyville. “Twilight said this was mostly a formality.”

“Yes, as I had her relay I must ask you to fill out some paperwork to make your change of residence official.” She pulled out a large stack of forms and pushed them across her desk for me. “Have you found it a welcoming place to be here?”

“Aside from having to run Pinkie Pie to the hospital yesterday, everything’s been just fine.” I had begun reading through them, trying to keep conversation light while reading and filling out the thick pile of bureaucracy.

“According to Miss Sparkle, you worked from home correct?”

This question gave me pause. I was away from human contact aside from my computer and recently became unemployed. “Yes, I had worked from home on electronics. Can you help me any in the employment area at all?”

This gave the mayor pause and checked through a small book on the side of her desk. “How good are you with clocks?”

I had just begun to return to my paperwork before stopping again. “You mean maintaining the clock tower right?”

“Yes, I need somepony to maintain the clock tower. Many ponies have complained that the clock has been off for months. Unfortunately, there are no ponies in town to maintain it easily.”

“I would like to say that I know a thing or two about clocks, but I mostly just know the quirks of my grandfather clock. I will need to see the mechanism before I even get started.”

She smiled. “I think that will be just fine Alex.”

“Thank you,” I added professionally. “These are for your records correct?”

“Yes,” the mayor replied pleasantly, “aside from Twilight Sparkle’s word and Princess Luna’s assurance we have no understanding of your species. Aside from those who visited you and Miss Heartstrings’ assumptions regarding humans, your species is a complete unknown.”

“I see on this page an interesting request.” I held up the page in question.

She caught a glimpse of it. “Yes, you see if we are to have a new species living here in Ponyville so casually it was on request that you introduce yourself to the students within the next few weeks.”

“An interesting way of adjusting I think.” I still filled out the page casually. “By showing myself as a polite and kind individual parents should hear good things from their foals correct?”

The mayor was reviewing my completed forms. “I believe that was the intention.”

“I think it’s a good idea. I want to show I have no intention of being problematic for anyone.”

“I think everything’s in order then. Please wait here while I get you a key to the clock tower.”

*****

1:40 PM

With a new job and a major bureaucratic formality out of the way, I searched around a while longer, returning home in defeat. At least, I thought I was returning in defeat until I saw the minty green unicorn sitting like any normal human on my porch. After getting halfway up the hill, she waved her hoof excitedly at me.

“I ran into Applejack in town,” she said offhandedly once I got into earshot, “she said you wanted to talk to me.”

I joined her on the porch. “Lyra, it’s about this party of yours.”

Her eyes blew up like balloons. “You’re going to show up? I mean are you really going to show up? That would be so cool, I mean like I showed up for your party. I’m real sorry I knocked over that plant by the way. Anyways, I was hoping you’d show up for mine.”

“Lyra please, it’s about Pinkie planning your party. She’s in the hospital and depending on when they-”

“Pinkie’s in the hospital? She’s supposed to plan my party. I’m not that good at getting ponies to come, but Pinkie, she-”

“Listen to me for a minute Lyra.” I paused and waited for her to nod. “Based on when they release her, you might have to put your party on hold.”

Lyra was on the verge of crying after she heard. “I wanted this on my birthday so much. Clear, concise, undeniable proof that humans exist; it was the perfect birthday gift.”

“And you got it early Lyra.” She gave me a curious look; she was demanding an answer without having to say it. “You don’t need a party to prove that humans are real when your proof is undeniably in Ponyville. I’m right here. You’re sitting on my porch.”

She grinned. I hate it when ponies scheme and that looked like a scheming grin. “In return for this you’re going to help me write a book.”

“About humans?”

“Not just about humans,” she stood on her hind legs, leaning on me for support. “About your history,” she grabbed me by my neck. “About your culture,” She shook me wildly. “About you,” she squealed.

That’s how Truth Beyond Myth: Interviews With a Human was spawned. My first session with Lyra was the Thursday after my trip with Twilight. I really hoped Pinkie was happy with what I ended up doing. Sure, she would be mad that the party wouldn’t be happening, but I did my best to try to keep Lyra happy and excited.

*****

2:10 PM

“Umm Pinkie?” I returned to Pinkie’s room to give her the news.

Pinkie was staring at Rainbow who was trying to amuse her. “Alley,” she turned to look at me, “what did Lyra have to say?”

“Well, she didn’t want the party if it wasn’t on Monday.” Pinkie gave me a frown. “She still hopes you can plan her belated birthday party when you’re up for it. In return for giving her the bad news though, she wants to write a book.”

“Ah ha!” Pinkie raised her hoof, an epiphany somewhere in the back of her mind. “She’s going to interrogate you for everything she can.”

Rainbow cocked her head my way. “Does Twilight know about that?”

“I wanted to report back to Pinkie first. Is everything okay with that Pinkie?”

“Yup, I’ll be released in a few hours but I still have to take it a little easy for a few days. Go and tell Twilight now, or she’ll be grumpy.”

“Well what about you Dash? Bother you at all?”

“Well, if it’s ok with her then it’s fine with me.”

I opened my mouth to ask something else, but closed it and retreated to prevent getting stuck in a conversation with her over the details. The last thing I wanted was a never-ending loop of talking to Rainbow Dash.

*****

5:30 PM

After checking around, I resigned to double check the first place I looked for Twilight: the library. This time however, the door was unlocked and the lights were out. “Twilight,” I called as I stepped across the threshold. “Are you here Twilight?”

She wasn’t immature enough to leave the door unlocked unless she left in a flash, and even then, she would know she didn’t do it. This brings me to the lights. One of the following was under development: nopony was home, Twilight went to bed early by every definition of the word, or somepony was planning something.

“Twilight, we need to talk about something. Are you home?” I waited for a response, closing the door behind me. This left me in the haze of sunset in the silent library.

It was unsettling to be in the library with no response, not even Spike groaning that I was calling out to somepony that wasn’t here. After fishing around for some paper and a quill I left a note for Twilight. Next time I’ll leave a note first thing.

*****

5:50 PM

Ponyville Medical, again, honestly how many times will I try to find somepony and end up here? After going in I headed up to the receptionist’s desk. “Excuse me, but can you tell me if Pinkie Pie has left or will I have to find outpatient for that?”

“Um, she’s right over there.” The nurse behind the counter pointed down the hall to the party pony and her friends.

“Thank you very much,” I said before going down the hall to see everypony there.

“Alex,” said Twilight from behind Pinkie while I came closer to them all. “Pinkie told me that you had something to tell me.”

I nodded. “Could we talk in private? I don’t want to make a scene or anything.”

She nodded back to me. “Let’s go to your place.”

“Uh,” started Rainbow nervously, “sorry to interrupt but um, do you mind if I tag along with you guys?”

Twilight shot her a scowl but hung her head as I nodded politely.

*****

6:20 PM

I will say this; I’m getting some very long overdue exercise running around everywhere.

“Are you okay Alex,” Twilight asked with a concerned face.

“I’ve… I’ve been running around all day, getting quite a bit of exercise.”

She giggled. “Ponyville will whip you into shape in no time.”

“I did have something to tell you though. Lyra wants to spend time with me, talking about humans.”

“Why’s that something you wanted to tell me?”

“I wasn’t sure how you’d take it. I mean I thought you’d be jealous of me spending time with her.”

“Not as long as I’m there keeping an eye on her I won’t be jealous at all,” Twilight added with a superior tone.

“See, this is exactly why I wanted to come along,” commented Rainbow with a glare to Twilight. “You keep a sharp eye on Lyra or you’ll be answering to me Twilight.”

I felt like I was a piece of property at the moment. I didn’t mind too much, they were okay with Lyra interrogating me about humans. Better yet, Rainbow was fine with Twilight keeping an eye on things on her own. “Care to stay for dinner and a movie,” I asked with a hopeful grin.

“Yeah, it’ll be just like back then.”

“The movie better be Part 3, I never saw how it all ends.” Twilight’s one-track mind struck again. Well, I can’t blame her really. They never ended up finishing the Back to the Future trilogy…

3 - Canterlot

I looked out the window on the train seeing Canterlot, the seat of power in Equestria, and the potential time bomb waiting for Twilight and I that was lurking inside one particular house. “So how badly do you think they’ll take it Twilight? I mean like did they hesitate at all when you told them?” This isn’t anything you can really prepare for. I’m not a native to Equestria and I wanted my relationship to work, regardless of which way it went.

“Well,” she furrowed her brow while remembering, “a little. I mean after my brother got married I think they were a little more accepting but still.”

Sure, this was a little old fashioned to some, but we agreed we didn’t want to spring something on them at the last minute. The worst possible thing would be to ignore it until we reach a ‘mom, dad, this is my human husband’ scenario. The thought of doing such a cruel thing to anyone’s parents was unbearable.

“Yeah,” I said brushing any allusions aside, “just saying something like ‘mom, dad, I’m dating a non-pony’ might be a little dramatic.”

“Yes, but after the whole wedding fiasco I’m sure they’ll be fine with a clear cut relationship.” I gave her a skeptical look. “Okay, a clearer relationship. I mean it isn’t like I’m bringing a griffon to dinner or something.”

“You did tell them we’re coming right?”

Twilight groaned. “For the fourth time today, yes I did.”

“You didn’t just say what I just mentioned right?”

“They’re my parents. They know when I’m skirting an issue. I had to just come out and tell them. Relax; I used a little more discretion than that. Then there was my talk with Shining Armor,” I cocked an eyebrow, “Cadance helped me argue that you were a fine, upstanding person.”

“Princess Cadance thought I was upstanding?”

“Well… she thought you deserved a chance.”

I’m still worried about this. Pinkie filled me in on everything she knew about the time traveling Twilight issue. Apparently, I missed quite the freak out. I asked Pinkie so I had a perspective that was around for a lot of it, but wasn’t Spike’s. According to Pinkie, I’d have wanted popcorn, lots and lots of popcorn. Well, it isn’t like every episode were really memorable in Ponyville or even occurred. It’s just a show after all…

“Remember that nopony knows what a human is like outside of our friends. Well, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna do since I had to explain my reasons to get you here. And then there’s Cadance. We, eh, we talked a lot about you. It was just so she had a better grasp of you as a person.”

“What about the rest of Ponyville? I was running around doing errands for nearly everypony remember?”

“Well,” she was searching for the right words, “how many really paid attention to you ducking in and out of the clock tower between requests?”

“Cheerilee wanted me to come in and talk to her class about humans.”

“That’ll help her students understand who you are and where you come from. I don’t think many of them will ever leave Ponyville.”

“So, I should expect lots of staring and hushed voices right?”

Twilight winced at the question. “Don’t read any of the newspapers for a few days. If we’re found, they’ll be all over this.”

Imagined headlines passed through my head quickly but I did my best to ignore them. “Can’t we get an escort or something to your parents?”

Twilight shook her head. “I tried. Ever since Prince Blueblood demanded an armed escort to his summer villa, Princess Celestia’s denied all royal escorts for personal reasons.”

“Can’t-”

“What part of ‘no escort for personal reasons’ didn’t you understand,” Twilight snapped.

“Well is there anything else then?”

Twilight stared out our window, staring at our rapidly growing destination. “We could be lucky and not be jumped by the press.” She gave me a flimsy, albeit supportive, smile.

I hugged her and gave her a quick kiss. “Some good luck might be nice for once.”

“My parents won’t overreact,” Twilight reassured me. By my count, that was lucky thirteen…

*****

When our train finally pulled in there was nopony at the station. After we got off we noticed something else, nopony was out, not even leaving a restaurant or house.

I cocked an eye to Twilight. “Did we miss something, like a holiday or a festival?”

“Not that I know of,” she replied.

We were both avoiding the words ‘good’ and ‘luck,’ despite our rational thought that there were no such things as jinxes or curses we didn’t wish to press our luck. Instead, we made our way through an eerily quiet Canterlot.

I occasionally looked around for some sign of life. “You sure somepony isn’t planning something?”

She passed me a conspiring smirk. “I think somepony might be thinking of something to give us cover.”

I caught her tone, “Princess Celestia or Princess Luna perhaps. I think both are valid options don’t you?”

“Yes, and it wouldn’t be the first time Princess Celestia’s bent the rules to lend a hoof.”

“Rules she made,” I started with a snicker.

“Because of Prince Blueblood,” Twilight finished with a giggle.

*****

For a while, we just continued in silence, confident of the inevitable confrontation ending well. “Now don’t slouch,” Twilight harped after a while. “I know you’re taller than everypony but you should still try and prove you aren’t like some thug.”

“I know,” I stood a bit straighter. “Is it just your parents tonight?”

“That’s what the plan is but…”

“I should be prepared to be surprised if that’s not the case right?”

Twilight nodded. “You’re catching on pretty quickly.”

“Yeah,” I gave her a comforting smile, “I’d like to think I am.”

Soon we reached a large house that, I could only assume to be Twilight’s parents’ house. “Mom,” Twilight called as she knocked against the door. “Dad, it’s us.”

As the door opened, we were quickly ushered in by a light grey unicorn with a purple and white striped mane. “Thank goodness Twilight,” she said before turning to me, “and you must be Alex.”

I smiled warmly. “Yes I am it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Twilight, I know you told us that he was tall but are all humans this tall?”

“He’s a little taller than average for an adult.” She shot me a glare, “but surely Alex was thinking of something silly to say.”

Twilight’s mother looked up and matched her daughter’s glare. It made me twitch uncomfortably and give a flimsy smile, “I was thinking of something. I’ll admit that much,” I kneeled down so we were all at eye level, “it was only something a little silly and kind of sappy.” Their stern looks made me break down a little more; I could see where Twilight got her ‘serious face’ from. “I’m not saying what it is. I will however elect to say that I love her and I’m torn in two between her and a close friend. I don’t want to seriously hurt anyone’s feelings, and I think it was a good idea for her to arrange this.”

Twilight shied away as I tried to disassemble our relationship, trying to hide how much she was blushing. “Mom,” squealed Twilight once she realized how she couldn’t just vanish from embarrassment, “is everything set for dinner?”

“Yes, we’re just waiting for your father to come home. I even got the nicer silverware out for Alex,” her formerly hard glare was now warm and comforting. “You can’t use magic right?”

“I’m afraid to say I can’t, and thank you for the consideration.”

“I want to know something though mom,” Twilight had fully regained her composure, “why is nopony out in the streets?”

“I’m sure your father can explain it all to you both when he gets home.” Twilight’s mother was very soothing, a very comforting mare as far as I could tell. “And as for you,” she shot me a mock accusing stare, “I think you’re pretty nice all things considered.” A mother can always dream I suppose.

We weren’t waiting for long when a new knock at the door came. Now I could find out if we were having an unexpected guest dinner. After Twilight left to answer the door however, I found out that so far everything was as planned.

“Dad,” she said pleasantly. Twilight came back into view with a stallion with a light blue coat and a darker blue mane.

“Welcome home dear,” said Twilight’s mother. Her husband however, was more focused on me.

“So this is the boyfriend you kept talking about,” he asked with an appraising look.

I nodded and gave him a welcoming smile. “My name’s Alex sir, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Dad,” Twilight was quick to speak after the words left my mouth. “Why was Canterlot empty when we arrived?”

He glanced around, as if he was expecting to be overheard. “You didn’t hear this from me, but Princess Celestia put up a curfew a few days ago. I think it was so you two wouldn’t get harassed by anypony.”

Twilight and I exchanged glances, trying to tell each other we were right, without actually saying it.

*****

“So Alex,” said Twilight’s dad nonchalantly over dinner, “you watched out for our little girl when she was in your world right?”

I smiled, “I did. Though I only spent three months with her and her friends I felt like I knew them all my life by the end. They were better family than my brother by then. I think they may have been more than simply family too. It’s hard to say now, but if you asked me a few days after everyone left, after I could come to grips with my choice, then I would tell you that they were all the family I needed.”

“It wasn’t long after she came back before we saw Twilight a lot,” said her mother. “You meant a lot to her.”

“Mom!”

Twilight’s plea was left ignored by her mother. “When we tried to find out why she was sad that’s really how we started to hear about you.”

“It took a while for her to open up and tell us though,” added her father. “But she told us as much as she could.”

Twilight was staring at her plate, too red in the face to look at anybody. I saw how embarrassed she was and I wrapped an arm around her. “I cried my fair share Twilight. I had a hard time even looking at a picture without crying. I just did my best to keep going, it was hard but I was reminded about how you’d feel if you saw me all depressed.” Or how angry Pinkie would be if I moped around all the time, I silently added. “Every time I came home, I expected something that wasn’t there anymore.” Now, with Twilight here, I felt like I could actually say what I had bottled up all summer. It didn’t feel painful to think about anymore. “I missed everypony, but I think I missed some of the stress most of all Twilight.”

“Well, I think that’s enough emotional time for now.” Twilight’s mom still looked supportive, but I knew she wanted to get things moving along.

“Oh, let me help you with the dishes,” I said.

“I couldn’t, you’re our company Alex.”

“No, I insist.”

She sighed and resigned to the fact that I had no intention of hearing no for an answer. I wanted to help and show some consideration for everypony.

*****

“Mom, dad,” Twilight said after I returned to everypony else. “Thank you for inviting us for dinner, I hope we can see you again sometime soon.”

“Unfortunately,” interrupted her father as we were in mid-stride towards the door, “I’m afraid you two can’t leave tonight. With the curfew in effect the trains aren’t running.”

I was starting to appreciate the irony of the situation. We came here just fine. We were met with an eerily silent Canterlot. Now, after we found out the cause and most likely culprit of this scheme we couldn’t leave. Not until we ran the risk of running into somepony, the very thing we all thought the plan was designed to prevent. That was the last bit of evidence I needed; it was Celestia’s plan as per the show’s playbook.

Twilight sighed. “I suppose we’ll just have to be on the train first thing in the morning. I’ll show you where you’re sleeping tonight Alex.” She got up and headed off, with me right behind her.

“The guest room’s not really a bedroom anymore Twilight,” called her mother.

“That’s fine mom,” Twilight replied, “I’ll just show him to my room. My old bed will be fine.”

“They’re sleeping together,” her dad asked. We were far enough away to hear his wife’s reply though.

*****

“Alright,” Twilight said assertively, “now get your shirt and pants off.”

I simply blinked. Where did this Twilight come from and how can I get the modest one back?

“Come on now,” she insisted, “I don’t want them to look all wrinkly when you wake up!”

“Okay,” I snapped to attention, “that makes some sense. I thought you-”

“No,” she interrupted hurriedly, her face flushed. “If we were that far along our relationship then not with my parents around. They’d hear us and yell about how we shouldn’t act um… that way in somepony else’s house.”

I removed my clothes, getting a low whistle of approval from Twilight, reducing myself to a pair of boxers. Thanks to jogging all over Ponyville and working on some of the more annoying quirks of the clock tower I had built up some muscle but not really a lot of definition.

Twilight hopped up onto her bed and waited for me to fold my clothes up and join her. Her old bed could fit us both, but not by much. We were pressed tightly together, her hooves against my chest and knees.

“Twilight,” I whispered.

“Yes Alex?” Her voice just as hushed as mine.

“I wanted to tell you something, and I didn’t want to say it in front of your parents.”

“What is it?”

“After you all left, the thing I missed most was so simple. I missed this.”

“Sharing a bed?”

“No. Well, yes. Sort of. I missed being with you. Especially when you were this close to me; close enough so I knew you’re safe.”

She leaned her head into my chest, her mane tickling my chin. “Can’t you tell me things like this in the morning? On the train home?”

“I’ll be able to see you blush on the train Twilight.”

I received no response but the slow rising and falling of Twilight’s sleeping form. I smiled and drifted off to my own dreams, while we were cast under the light of Luna’s moon.

*****

I awoke to Twilight nudging me. “Wuzzat? Twi,” I mumbled in a sleep-induced haze, “when did you get here?”

“Wake up Alex,” she said anxiously. “We have to catch the train before somepony sees us!”

As I sat up, I was immediately blinded by a shirt, wrapped in a purple haze. Taking the hint, I slipped it on, and turned to get out of bed, shoes and socks already waiting for me. I cranked my head up and saw Twilight dart out of her bedroom.

Twilight darted back inside almost as soon as I managed to get in my pants, a glass of juice in her firm telekinetic grasp. “Come on, our train’s in thirty minutes!”

That alert didn’t help much but it didn’t stop me from hurrying as much as possible. “What time is it,” I asked with a yawn.

“Six in the morning, if we miss this train the next one will be at nine.”

My brain was running slowly, but I could still think in the sleepy haze. “I’m up, but not quite awake Twilight.” I walked back over to the bed and got my shoes and socks on. “We’re still in Canterlot, it’s the morning, and we’re at your parent’s house right?”

“Exactly, and we’ll also have to run if we’re going to make our train because somebody didn’t wake up earlier,” she shot me a scowl.

I rose with a stretch. “Sorry Twi, it took me a while to get to sleep with your horn jabbing my cheek whenever you rustled in your sleep.” I looked terrible, some of the worst long hair bedhead you could imagine, though we did try to fix that in our rush, and I was still sleepy. After giving up the fight with my hair I said, “let’s get going.”

*****

After a hurried good bye to her parents, I was out the door and doing my best to keep up with Twilight as we made a mad dash towards the train station. There were some ponies out but they really did pay much attention to us as we ran past. A double take or two did catch my eye, but nothing too special.

“If we don’t make it we’re in sooo much trouble,” Twilight called back to me. She was still ahead of me by pony’s length, one and a half at most, and my mind was filled with the desire to sleep on the train.

“Yeah,” I called out to her with a loud yawn, “we’ll get a media blitz.”

“To say the least.” She slowed a little allowing me to catch up with her. If I was wide-awake, we both knew I could keep up with a brisk canter; we’re not talking about Applejack or Rainbow here. Those two don’t really do “brisk.”

*****

As we got to the train station, we saw guards… lots of guards. Celestia’s continued plotting or Shining Armor, I wondered, trolling or overprotective brother. What’s the reason? We both skidded to a stop and approached cautiously. Soldiers aside, we were ten minutes late and the train was still here.

“Who’s in charge here,” Twilight demanded.

“I am,” came a voice from behind us. As we turned, we saw Shining Armor; he was waiting for that perfect dramatic effect. Somepony’s been reading Celestia’s playbook. “I need to have a little word with your boyfriend before you leave.”

“Will it take long,” I said calmly. “Twilight started the morning stressed and I don’t want her going back to Ponyville in a fluster because the captain of the royal guard held up the train too long.”

He beckoned me over and passed from view. I hesitated for a moment before following him. He turned around once we were out of Twilight’s sight and stared at me. “You love my sister right?”

“More than my own life’s worth,” I replied with absolute confidence.

“I know she broke the law to get you here,” His stance didn’t waver nor did the severity of his voice. “She told me and Princess Luna’s word prevented me from arresting her. You break her heart and I’ll make sure you get all of the punishment for her actions, Princess Luna’s and Twilight’s objections or not.”

“I’ll try not to disappoint you, but it’s a mutual feeling.” I gave him a gentle smile. “She’s already getting territorial about me.”

“Explain yourself.” His voice was mellowing out, but he was still standing with so much superiority. An overprotective brother’s wrath combined with being captain of the royal guard is truly a terrifying thing.

“Know of a unicorn named Lyra Heartstrings?”

“I heard the rumors about her; she was expelled from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns right?”

I shrugged, I didn’t know the situation but Shining Armor filled in the blanks. Blanks I should’ve anticipated from obsession. “She wants to write a book about humans, using me as her major reference. When I told Twilight, she told me she was going to keep an eye on those sessions,” not to mention Dash, “I’ll be good to her, have Celestia send me to the moon if that seems a suitable punishment for breaking her heart, but I’m going to be there for her through everything.”

He gave me a comforting smile, if only for an instant. “If you break Twiley’s heart I swear you’ll have to answer to me. Now you two need to get going. We only could hold the train for fifteen minutes.”

“Thank you, it’s been a pleasure meeting you Shining Armor.” I turned around and headed back to Twilight and we boarded the train, for some much-needed sleep. Okay, I needed some serious sleep; Twilight looked like she could pull forty-eight hours easy. I wasn’t lying to Shining Armor but well, there was only so much to this thing that I wanted to tell him without something to dive behind.

4 - Twilight: Assessment

Twilight Sparkle was, for once, at a loss for words as she stared at a page in a fresh book. The page in question was marked “Alex in Canterlot.” She had started staring at the page since her return home.

My parents were mostly receptive towards Alex, I doubt they approved of sharing a bed but we didn’t have much choice. If we didn’t stay at my parents then we would’ve had to explain things to my brother and Cadance sooner than I wanted to anticipate.

“Hey,” called a voice from downstairs, “ya here Twilight?”

Alex could’ve taken a hint from mom better, but I’m happy she took notice of his intentions. He needs to relax a little more.

The librarian stared at the words for a moment. “I probably shouldn’t have dumped the idea on his lap without talking seriously about it with him,” she grumbled.

“What about telling me,” harped her visitor.

Twilight turned and met the cerise eyes of her rival. “What do you want Rainbow?”

“How did the whole thing go?”

“Why, is something in the paper?”

“Haven’t seen anything, just tell me how it went.”

“All things considered, it went as good as I hoped. I talked with my dad after I got up in the morning. He thought Alex was trying to avoid something. I think they assumed we were already a lot closer that we are. Alex was doing his best to avoid touching on how our relationship is… complicated.”

“But you guys aren’t that close right? You two haven’t been keeping secrets from me right?”

“No I haven’t,” Twilight snapped, “Alex is still free to date whomever he wants to. We need to talk about Lyra though; she can be crafty when she has to.”

“So you’ll trust me on this but not tell me you planned to take Al to Canterlot to see your folks?”

“I’ll admit it, that wasn’t my best plan, but what was I going to do once they started to question my motives? What if they thought I was crazy?”

Rainbow gave her friend a cold stare. “Twilight, I hate to tell you but you have your moments. I mean, we all have our moments, but I just wanna be honest with you.”

“I know, but they’re my parents. Would you want to lie to your parents about this?”

“Well no, but did you tell them about me and how I feel?”

Twilight’s ears flopped as she sighed. “I suppose I should have. Are we still okay Rainbow?”

“How are we gonna deal with Lyra? I mean, you said she’s crafty an all.”

“She is, and while Alex napped on the train back home I was trying to figure out how to approach this book thing. Lyra might want to use this to worm her way into Alex’s heart, but I’m pretty sure he’s smart enough to handle that.”

“How much do you know about her? Tell me everything you can.”

“We both went to Princess Celestia’s School in Canterlot. We had classes together. Worst of all though is she knows how to read a pony. If we’re too protective then she’ll push back.”

“So what’s the plan?”

“We don’t tell her with our words, but make sure she knows she has no place getting in our way. One on one is bad enough, a three-pony free for all is just uncalled for.”

“Trust me Twi, I know the two of us fighting over him isn’t a good idea. I mean I don’t want to lose you as a friend over a guy. I don’t care how it ends as long as we remain friends.”

“I agree, we shouldn’t let this get the better of us. Just don’t expect me to slip up and let you have him all to yourself.”

Rainbow smirked. “As long as you don’t think I’ll do the same I’ll be just fine.”

Elsewhere in Ponyville...

Alex snored softly as he had successfully managed to make it to his couch to enjoy a well deserved afternoon nap. The train hadn’t been as comfortable as he hoped and work had been just short of merciless without decent sleep. Unlike the conspiring duo, the last thing on his mind was the visit from Lyra in the following week.

5 - Foreign Studies

The clock tower hasn’t been too difficult to maintain actually. The quirks and general mechanics were actually very similar to my own clock, just… well… bigger. I just have to remember to get up at the crack of dawn and work on it until nearly noon. Wednesday’s different however. I get out early to visit Cheerilee’s class and try to come off as awesome just as much as peaceful and composed. I’ve been preparing for this since Twilight and I got on the train out of Canterlot.

“Ahm’ sure you’ll be nice enough to get a nice view,” said Applebloom while I fiddled with a stubborn cog. She’s been visiting since Sunday, making sure I can keep my attitude in line. Part of me knows she has an ulterior motive, I know those three fillies well enough; show wise at least, to know she has some other reason to be here.

“I know Applebloom,” I replied. “Three eighth’s wrench please.” I held out my hand and she tossed me the wrench in question. I had to shut the clock down today and do some general maintenance. Where I’m working, hanging around like this, I couldn’t bring everything with me. It’s thanks to Applebloom that I’m able to get things like this done. If the clock was running there would be nothing safe about what I was doing, if something was caught somewhere and I couldn’t see if that was the case from the ground or a gangway.

I leaned out from my workplace in the mechanism. “How about you pass me the oilcan?”

“My, what’s wrong in there?” Question or not Applebloom passed the can along when I lowered myself down enough.

“Not sure just yet, but something’s clogging in here so I had to stop the clock while I’m making repairs and giving it the once over.”

“Could it be a bat or somethin’?”

“I don’t think a bat could do a lot of damage to something this big, but I still have the parts on the other side of the rafters to get to.”

“Climbin’ around a clock sounds cool enough to impress someponies Alex.” She leaned over, keeping me in sight as much as possible. “Ahm’ saying you’ll be fine, just don’t let Diamond Tiara get on yet nerves.”

“Someponies,” I flat out hit a gear with all my strength and, to my surprise, it jostled into place. “Someponies need to stop jumping to conclusions,” I started to make my way up and around to other parts, “while others need to get over themselves.” I poked my head out from high above her. “Got it?”

“Land sakes,” she said as she found my greasy face, “you sure are high up. What if you slip?”

“I’m gonna be in a whole lot of pain. There’s plenty of stuff in my way before the floor. It’s also, why I keep myself tied to something, so I don’t fall that far. Let’s see,” I checked the part I was working on, “I’ll send down some rope and I’ll need the mallet ready for me when I come down.” She gave me a salute and went to fetch the mallet while I fastened my line securely for my descent.

“Ere it ish,” she said once I got close.

“Thank you,” I said as I took the mallet. I could honestly see a unicorn doing most of this as long as they have the eye for detail that Rarity has, without her obsessive cleanliness of course. From what I could see so far was that parts just weren’t in place anymore. I think the mayor just couldn’t afford to pay both a unicorn and a pegasus for the job.

“Hey there Applebloom,” came a spunky voice after I went back to work. “Think you’re going to get some sort of mechanic cutie mark?”

Hearing ‘mechanic’ and ‘cutie mark’ was enough for me to poke my head out again. My eye twitched as I saw the small orange pegasus. Scootaloo, I thought. Now where’s Sweetie Belle?

“Ahm, just helpin’ Alex do his job. He’s gotta get the clock workin’ so he can come to our class tomorrow. Just don’t touch anything Scootaloo, that’s a long drop since he doesn’t have wings.”

I still didn’t see the third member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders anywhere and that made me really nervous. Over the previous week, I never saw two of them without the third close by. “I’m going to finish this part up here Applebloom, then I’ll come down and we can give it a try.” I didn’t manage to hear if she replied once I went back to it. Everything aside, there were a few gears that were falling out of place so far. As I went down the mechanism, I double-checked my work. Everything was back in place and ready for a test run.

Once my feet were back on the stable floor I saw Sweetie Belle staring up at me. “Woah,” she said with excitement mixed in with her cross glance, “you’re a real mess. You’re not going to show up to class like that are you?” In the absence of her sister, she seemed to take after Rarity sometimes.

“I hope not Sweetie Belle,” I gave one good tug on the rope and it fell to the ground. As I went to set the mechanism back into motion we were joined by Applebloom, carrying my toolbox on her back, and Scootaloo, who had my oilcan balanced precariously on her head. “I doubt you girls will get your cutie marks helping me, unless they’re about getting messy. If that’s the case I would suggest tree sap. It’s probably a lot easier to clean out than grease and oil.”

Applebloom tilted her head around to the mechanism, looking for some sign of it not working. “Ahm ready Alex.”

“Alright,” I said cautiously. I had the clock operating twice today, but not for long. The first time was before Applebloom showed up and we had it running for a few minutes about an hour later. Gradually everything began moving again, bringing a grin to both Applebloom’s face and mine. “I’ll have to stop it now, but it looks like everything’s set. I’ve got about an hour until I can start it properly.” I grabbed the oilcan off Scootaloo’s head and brought it into my workroom, placing it with all of the tools I had on me and the large coil of rope I used.

If something seriously wrong happens, this job’s going to be disastrous. I don’t want to be working on it when something like that happens. Could always be worse, it could’ve been some crazy steampunk stylized clock.

~~~~~

I returned the next day and everything was perfect. “Let’s see breakfast, check; hair, check; clock not broken?” I looked around checking everything about the mechanism, “check.”

“Steamy make-out session in your office,” asked a voice behind me.

I slowly cranked my head around to see a purple hued parchment hovering in place. “Twilight,” I asked nervously. “Can this wait Twilight? I have to go to the school in a few hours.”

“And I have to get it checked off,” she replied with a purr.

On one hoof, I have a few hours and I know she can get testy when it comes to what she wants. On the other hoof, I have somewhere to go and I want to look presentable. Now, on the other, other hoof… wait other other, I don’t have four legs!

I gulped hard and tried to back up, only to find myself against the wall. “Twilight, how long can I have before it’s the only thing left?”

She was slowly approaching, and I could only imagine what kind of smirk was on her face. “It’s the-”

“Hey,” roared Rainbow Dash as she flew in through a hatch on one of the clock’s faces. “Get your hooves off him! We had a deal!”

“Run along to your clouds Rainbow,” the unicorn snapped, “he was together with me back in Canterlot.”

“No she wasn’t,” I objected nervously.

“Good,” added the daredevil with a smirk. “Don’t forget, I told him first Twilight.”

~~~~~

I was returned to the waking world in an instant, as my face met the floor. After assessing the lump on my head, I realized it isn’t even morning yet. The sun won’t be rising for another hour or two, but I’m wide-awake now.

Nervously I made my way into the bathroom and stare at my reflection, and saw that it wasn’t too bad. “Well, that was creepy,” I told my reflection.

“Naturally,” I could swear it responded.

I left to go and start a pot of coffee. I’ve had little moments like that since Canterlot. On Sunday I spent about an hour at my mirror, swearing it answered my every question. Then there were the dreams. Each dream like that felt real enough, but I always woke up right before she, for lack of better words, pounced.

With the aroma of coffee wafting through my nostrils words floated through my ears. The dreams were always about Twilight, one of her checklists, and interrupting my work. The first two nights it was just “let’s go on a date,” Monday night it was just “sneak a kiss at work,” but last night, the most recent, was far past that. I wouldn’t have minded if Monday night actually finished itself though. “Friday, Saturday, or Sunday,” I said before adding a sugar cube to my coffee. “Any day of the weekend would be a nice day for a date. I’ll have to ask Rainbow about the weather for the weekend.”

The Weather Channel on my TV, which seemed to get the Weather Channel exclusively, showed the weather for Canterlot, Manehattan, Las Pegasus, Fillydelphia, and oddly enough Cloudsdale. Is Ponyville not worthy of these silly looking felt weather markers? Checking the weather on my computer proved useless as well, showing Earth’s weather just defeated the purpose.

It was still part of my routine to check my computer for things. My horoscope for a cheap laugh, my overflowing inbox of hate mail, the daily weather, and any missed news. Strangely enough, I got the Manehattan Times, the Canterlot Post, and Equestria Today on my computer after I set up a new e-mail address. I also got the Foal Free Press but I flagged it as spam so I never had to deal with it. After scanning the papers, and humoring myself with the Foal Free Press for once, I found one particular article in the Canterlot Post.

Humans Exist!
Lyra Heartstrings, resident of Ponyville, has been proved correct about her formerly outlandish theories about humans. Miss Heartstrings, who refused to comment, is rumored to be close to Alexander, human resident of Ponyville. Alexander was unavailable for comment, but he was seen by Wing Sheer, a soldier of the Canterlot city guard. “I saw the human at the train station conversing with Shining Armor before he departed for Ponyville.” See page 4 for more.

“I don’t know if Twilight’s seen this yet,” I took a sip of my coffee, “could be trouble.”

A pot of coffee, a cold shower, a second pot, and I was still groggy, but at least I wasn’t irritable. I dressed calmly, packing a change of clothes in case I had to get messy. With a yawn, I locked the door behind me and went to work, praying the loud workings of the clock would wake me further.

*****

After making a few adjustments on the clock, the usual complications, I saw Twilight coming up the stairs. I was up on one of the gangplanks working but she teleported up to me. “Have you seen the Canterlot Post today?”

“Yeah, is something going to happen to your brother because of that?”

“I don’t think so, but at least nopony’s talked to the press. I had Spike send a letter to Princess Celestia regarding the guard that was quoted in the article.”

I checked over one particular part of the mechanism, part that often proved itself to be a chore. “I’m just happy Lyra’s not talking. Not too pleased with that they were implying though.”

“You’re not the only one,” Twilight leaned up against me, using my body as support to stay on her hind legs. “Rainbow and I agree,” she stared into my eyes, “you’re too good for Lyra.” Her eyes were like giant violet pools I could just dive into and lose myself forever.

I smiled as I snapped out of my daze and gave her a quick kiss. “What’s the weather like over the weekend? I was thinking we might go on a date sometime.”

“While you’re being a nice guy in school I’ll find out. If it’s raining we could just stay inside for our date.” Twilight’s face was flushed just from saying it.

I gave her a warm smile. “Just you and me,” I paused and ran my hand down her spine. “All alone under the rain,” I knew I was getting a little red myself but I loved how embarrassed she was.

“Shouldn’t we um, shouldn’t we slow our relationship down a little,” she said in a fluster. “Or at least could you see if you and Rainbow have more common ground?”

“You’re just filling in the blanks on your own Twilight. But,” I tried to maintain my composure, “I’ve been having dreams of you coming here. Interrupting my work and desiring my undivided attention. Moments just like now.”

She just absentmindedly nodded, “I’ll check on the weather. Just… just try and relax when you sleep for the time being, okay Alex?”

“I’ll try and keep the more steamy romantic dreams out of my head. The nice ones, like a tender kiss, I can live with.”

Twilight pulled away from me, her face filled with shock. “They get steamier than that?”

“Entering with a one entry checklist and purring enticingly. At least that time Dash barged in and threw a fit that got you to back off.”

Twilight just gave me a vacant nod. “I think I’ll need to lie down a little before I look for Rainbow Dash.”

I gave her a smirk. “At least until you’re less red than lavender?”

She gave me a nervous look. “Is it really bad?”

“You could pass for a light bulb Twilight.”

Twilight withdrew from my sight, off to a different part of the clock tower to calm down unless she slipped past me. After a few more hours, it was time for me to wash up and get redressed to meet Cheerilee’s class.

*****

“Now calm down my little ponies,” said Cheerilee warmly to her class. “Today we get to meet Alex; he’s been in town for nearly two weeks and let’s help him feel welcome.”

That was my cue to duck through the doorway and meet the class. Applebloom and her friends gave me a wave, which lifted my spirits a bit. “Hello everypony,” I said as relaxed as I could. “Just as Miss Cheerilee said, my name is Alex and I’m staying here in Ponyville.”

I heard a scoff from the front row from little miss prissy herself. “So this is the human in town?”

“I understand your father was a little disappointed that he couldn’t sell me anything Diamond Tiara,” I said in a very calm and even tone, “but that doesn’t give you the right to act immature.” Her rebuttal seemed to stick in her mouth as I gave her a gentle smile.

“How about you tell the class a little about yourself Alex,” suggested Cheerilee.

“Oh yeah,” said Featherweight excitedly, “so, what do you do Alex?”

My eyes were immediately drawn to the sound of his voice. In the name of Equestria, I thought, that colt needs some food ASAP. “I maintain the clock tower. Not a lot of ponies may think much of the job, but I wonder what your lives would be like if you had no way to tell time. You’d rely on the sun and the moon to tell you more than if it was day or night. Was it afternoon? Did I oversleep? I work my hardest to make sure everypony doesn’t worry about questions like that.”

I caught Sweetie Belle’s hoof in the air next. “Um, Alex I was wondering if humans have cutie marks.”

I sighed and gave her an empathic look. “No we don’t, humans have to figure out what they’re good at and often times that changes as they get older. We have to adapt a lot faster than any of you has to. Our world changes quickly and often we have to be able to change with it.” I knew somepony would ask that question and thanks to the Crusaders coaching, I was able to answer it without a problem. I was even happier that Sweetie was willing to ask the question, she asked the most out of all three of them.

“Well, if things change so much how long are humans in school?”

“When you’re young it seems like you’ll be in school forever, but when you finish your mandatory schooling and if you head to a trade school or college it doesn’t seem like it was that long anymore. When I went to college, my time there seemed to go by so fast, but I also had things to take care of. My parents were really ill and I spent a lot of time taking care of them and that slowed down my time in college. Regardless of what your job is you have to keep up with how things are changing or you’ll get left behind.”

“Is there anything cool about your job?”

My ear perked at the question, but I was surprised that it wasn’t Scootaloo who asked. Scootaloo looked furious that somepony beat her to her question, glaring intently at the colt who said it. “I don’t recommend a lot of the things I do while I repair the clock, so I’d rather avoid mentioning them. I don’t want somepony to imitate what I have to do to get my job done. What I have to do is make sure the clock faces are all working and clean the outsides of them. I have to do all of that every day and since I’m not a unicorn I can’t use magic and I’m not a pegasus so I can’t fly either. It’s hard work, but I’m getting really good at it.”

I continued to talk to the class for a few hours about various things. It seemed to be random at least as far as who was asking a question, let alone the topic. Diamond Tiara didn’t seem to forget that quip and chose to keep her mouth shut for the rest of my time there.

“Alright everyone, it’s time I get back to work.” My words were met with plenty of disappointed groans and sad faces. “Don’t worry, it’s not like I’m leaving Equestria or anything. I just have other things to do today, but feel free to come and see me sometime if you’d like. I’d just like it if you let me sleep in on the weekends when I have time off.”

“Thank you for coming by Alex,” said Cheerilee warmly.

“Always a pleasure,” I said before cranking my head down again so I didn’t end up with a lump on my head from the door frame.

6 - Lyra's Book

Thursday, the day Lyra would be visiting. It seemed so silly to be stuck in a room being interviewed about humans by a unicorn, but there were times on Earth when I wanted to do the opposite. To be perfectly clear, there were some days where I got so bored I wanted to study Pinkie Pie trying to sit still. That could’ve been either a very boring or a very silly study. Personally, I think it would be neither and I’d somehow get a cake out of it.

Just as she said earlier, Twilight intended to keep an eye on our obsessing unicorn. “Keep you long Twilight,” I asked as I came down the clock tower.

“Nope you’re right on time,” she replied cheerfully. I saw the bad pun coming a long ways away; I just had to get it out of her system.

“Feel better now that you got it out there?”

Her cheeks went a little pink. “A little, so where are we going for this interview session?”

“Lyra claimed she wanted to study ‘in my natural habitat,’ so we’re on our way back to my place. I saw Dash while I was cleaning up by the north-facing twelve and relayed it to her.”

*****

“So,” I asked Twilight as we made our way to my house, “what’s the weather supposed to be like over the weekend?”

“Didn’t you ask Rainbow when you saw her earlier?”

“She didn’t give me an answer, did you end up with one?”

“We’re supposed to get rain on Sunday, and I’m busy on Friday.”

“Leaves us Saturday right?”

“Yes, and I was thinking about that. Should we be moving like this?”

“We spent all that time together Twilight, time where we could’ve had more time to ourselves. I don’t mean like you should move in overnight but I think we should make up for some time we could’ve had together.”

“We’re waiting longer until next time,” She replied with a sound finality. “Besides, Lyra’s a little ahead of us and you have to actually have time with Rainbow so you can make your mind up.”

She was right, but I wanted just one day together where we had nothing going on, no problem to solve, no danger to Equestria, just us; together. “I’m not asking for much Twi,” I whispered to her, “I just want one normal day.” She passed me a very curt nod and picked up her pace, getting me to jog after her.

“Care to tell me why Twilight’s here,” asked Lyra. We went over this three times on our way to my house. Each time I tried to avoid the ‘jealous girlfriend’ card.

“Even cut off from Equestria,” Twilight responded nonchalantly, “I still had information I could find. I immersed myself in history books and plenty of fiction.”

“In short if I can’t answer a question then she can,” I added dryly.

“That does make sense,” replied Lyra as we neared the front door. “So, can either of you explain why she’s here?” She jabbed her hoof at the eagerly waiting cyan pegasus.

Twilight and I exchanged looks, but didn’t say anything. Whatever we said would make us sound guilty, even if what we said was nothing.

*****

Lyra had brought notebooks, quills, ink, and parchment with her, nearly enough to burst her saddlebags. For now, we just sat in the living room. Twilight and Rainbow found their normal seats on the couch while Lyra and I both took a seat. You see her sit that way in the show and you go ‘Lyra sits like a human.’ However, when you sit across a table from her, you think ‘that takes a lot of practice.’

“Where would you like to begin Lyra,” I asked.

“Let’s start with you in general Alex.” She sounded authoritative at least. “Tell me a little bit about yourself.”

“Well, my name is Alexander. I’m the middle kid of a three child family and both my younger brother and older sister served in the army of the nation I come from. My parents both died due to chronic illness and I graduated from a good school about two years ago.”

“Is your family about average size?”

“Human families vary in size, but the most common that I know of are one to four children with one or two children being the more frequent of them.”

“Both of your parents died from the same illness?”

“No, my mother had lung cancer. She managed to survive long enough to see me graduate from college, but not much longer. My father died shortly after her, due to complications related to his multiple sclerosis.”

“Care to explain?”

“Rather not, it’s a touchy subject.”

I’m not sure if Lyra caught up on it, but Twilight and Rainbow had. I never really touched on the subject when they were on Earth. I said they were dead and that was all I felt like saying.

“Alright,” Lyra resumed. “What about your brother and sister? You said they were part of the army right?”

“My sister was. She died in Iraq, a different nation than the one I’m from. My brother was still on active duty when I left. We could’ve parted ways on better terms.”

“Are you willing to explain that?”

“Well, I was transported, house and all, to Equestria and never said good bye.”

“Well,” interjected Twilight, “there isn’t much we can do about that right?”

“Wait a second,” interrupted Lyra. “Are you and Twilight close? I mean I hope I know you half as well as I think I do Twilight.”

“There’s more to it than that,” Twilight quickly responded as I went red. “I was the one who offered to bring him back, repeatedly actually, but that was my offer. If anything, Rainbow confessed first!”

“Yeah,” added the daredevil proudly, “you should’ve seen the look she gave me when I said it too.”

There were gears turning in Lyra’s head, nopony could argue to the contrary, but I was wondering if they were ‘jealous gears’ or ‘drama gears’ whirling about. There was a good poker face coating that obsession. Lyra was still writing as we all talked about everything.

“How about we move on,” I asked.

“Okay then,” replied Lyra. “This house isn’t average is it?”

“No, it’s a Victorian house and it’s rather old, passed down through the family. Three floors and I think it originally had three bedrooms. I’m from a well off family so I have what some would consider ‘nice things’ but I don’t like to flaunt it. But back to your question, I don’t really think there is such a thing as an average human house.”

“Did you live in a town or a city?”

“I lived on the outskirts a city; I liked the privacy my home gave me. It also added to everyone’s concept of being the spoiled rich kid or eccentric loner. A misconception for the most part, I was a bit eccentric. If you’re willing to quote Pinkie she said it made me interesting, in a good way.”

“Yeah,” added Rainbow as she rolled her eyes, “claimed it gave you an ‘air of mystery’ or something like that. I think she was trying to compare you to Wayne or some other fictional rich guy.”

Lyra nodded absentmindedly. “And the normal means of travel for humans?”

“Vehicles that ran on an internal combustion engine called cars.”

Twilight got up. “I’ll get you some resources on them Lyra,” she said calmly.

“Thanks Twilight,” I said with a smile.

Lyra waited until she was out of earshot to speak up next. “How do you feel about dating outside of your species?”

I noticed the hopeful look from Rainbow and tried to feign ignorance of it. “All I’ll say on the subject is I’m content and I better be since I’m not on Earth anymore. That would mean that you shouldn’t be prying for something deeper. On a different note, how did you learn to sit like that?”

“Well, it wasn’t easy. One of my early theories about humans wasn’t even about humans at first. I was wondering about maximizing space on a bench. I tried to figure it out, and in doing so learned to sit like this.”

“Twilight told us you were kicked out of school for your theories about humans,” Rainbow asked, “care to comment?”

“That’s right, I had next to no evidence and what I had was circumstantial at best. Despite that complication, I’m still pretty smart. I did get accepted into the most prestigious academy in Canterlot after all. Speaking of, I saw you were in the newspaper.”

“Nobody sought you out to get an interview Lyra? I mean the papers all said you refused to comment but-”

“Well, I told them to find something else to occupy their time. I wasn’t going to go to the media without your support on it Alex.”

“Don’t release anything until you have a solid manuscript. I want to keep the media out of the loop for as long as possible.” As I spoke with a powerful degree of assertion, Twilight returned with several books for Lyra.

“I also brought a few books about other means of transportation: airplanes, boats, trains, and I even found a book with a little about magnetic monorail trains.”

I was impressed; I had a book that had monorails in it. How could I never know this until now? “Where did you find the monorail book?”

“I found that segment in this science book,” she showed me a thick natural science textbook, one I think I had in college for a filler science course. “In the chapter about magnetic fields to be exact, there’s a lot of curious things in here Lyra.”

Lyra smiled as she took the book from Twilight and idly flipped through the pages. “Would either of you two care to elaborate on magnets? No offense Rainbow, but they’re the brains right?”

Lyra only received a noncommittal shrug from the pegasus.

I chuckled. “I’ll take a crack at the basics if you don’t mind Twilight?” She gladly abdicated the stage to me. “Magnets are objects that produce, as Twilight stated, magnetic fields. These fields attract ferrous metals, like iron.” I got up, “let me get you a simple one.” I left for the kitchen and brought back a magnet from the side of the refrigerator. While normally a magnet like this would be found in a grade school classroom, I used it like a fridge magnet. I also grabbed a few coins and paperclips to help demonstrate.

“…trying to rush a relationship,” I heard Twilight say as I returned.

“He’s head over hooves for both of you,” Lyra replied casually. “I think he’s guilty for not saying something sooner.”

“Well I-” Twilight started.

“You two talk like this back in school,” I interrupted.

“Not really,” Lyra said offhoofidly. “There were moments though, getting to lectures early and just chatting.”

“Yes,” Twilight admitted. “Lyra was studying a bunch of different things, but we shared some common interests. In the sciences really, but she was focusing on social sciences and…”

“Twilight was studying every science,” Lyra finished. “We had a few lectures together and talked mostly about previous lectures, compared notes, quizzed each other, and even helped write each other’s essays.”

Twilight nodded. “Lyra had good information but could never cite anything properly.”

“And Twilight had great citations but a ton of resources,” Lyra added. “I had to teach her to cut back on the sources and some detail. ‘Our professors know a thing or two about their subject’ I told her a lot.”

“And I always had to remind her that ‘the Princess is counting on me to do my best,’ I always thought I had to be perfect so I overdid it a lot.”

“Wait, so you were always real fixated on every detail Twilight,” Rainbow asked as she tried to return to the conversation.

Lyra simply rolled her eyes. “She’s Princess Celestia’s prized student. She’s always had to stress that she doesn’t want to let the princess consider her unworthy of teaching.”

“I get it,” I said before returning to my seat. “Okay, I have a magnet here. It’s just a simple one, but not the most simplistic one I’ve seen. I don’t have normal fridge magnets.”

I set the coins on the table and Lyra paid close attention. “And those are?”

“Not all of these are magnetic and we can go into currency some other time if that’s okay with you.” Lyra nodded and let me continue. “Pennies,” I pointed out one of the copper coins, “have a copper exterior and a zinc core; both the copper and zinc have very weak magnetic properties so they aren’t great for really weak magnets. Iron is the best example but a lot of metals have some magnetic properties. These paperclips are mostly iron so you’ll find they’re drawn to the magnet.”

Lyra paid close attention as I brought the magnet close and the paperclips soared right to it, once it was brought close enough. “Can you go into more detail for me?”

“Well, I’m no real expert on magnetism and I don’t pretend to be a scientist or anything. I’m more of a computer person anyways. That doesn’t mean I don’t use magnets though. Actually, I use magnets without really being aware of it Lyra.”

“Got it,” Twilight said as she darted back upstairs.

“She’s going to get you a basic computer book,” I explained.

“It’s probably really dated,” added Rainbow.

Lyra didn’t seem to be paying attention after she took the magnet from me and was just pulling the paperclips away and letting them slide back to the magnet. “This is so weird,” she said absently. I just smiled and watched her simplistic fascination.

Once Twilight returned with the book, she began staring at Rainbow and I staring at Lyra with the magnet. “She’s lost her train of thought hasn’t she?”

“That would be a safe assumption Twilight,” I said.

“She might be like that for a while,” Rainbow added.

*****

The three of us sat there waiting for the curious unicorn to get bored, but it took hours even with us trying to get her attention. I mean, it wasn’t like magnets are completely alien. For pony’s sake, any compass would have one.

“I’m sorry,” she said shyly. “Let’s see if I have anything else I’d like to ask today.” She flipped through a few pages of parchment. “Ah, how big are human cities and towns?”

The question gave me pause. I never really thought about things like that. “I think population density has more to do with the definition and differences between the two. Cities are more closely packed together, with high-rise apartment structures, while towns are usually a small downtown area with most residential areas thinning out as you go further away from the downtown area. Another part of it could be the amount of activity in the place, but I really wasn’t that great at things like demographics.”

Despite looking defeated, Lyra nodded and closed her notebook. “Thank you very much for this opportunity. If you don’t mind, I’d like to meet with you every other Thursday like this and get more information.”

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem Lyra, thank you for visiting.” After helping her get everything in her saddlebags, new books replacing everything she couldn’t use, I showed her to the door.

“I’ll swing by a little later on for everything else Alex,” she said before giving me a wave and heading back towards town.

“I think we need to sit down and have a little talk now,” said Twilight from behind me.

“Agreed,” added Rainbow sharply.

I closed the door and nodded. This might get a little messy, I thought.

*****

We all returned to our respective seats and I waited for what they had to say.

“I think Lyra has a better grasp of our relationship than any of us,” Twilight said calmly.

“What was everything she said?”

“Well, she told us that you’re head over hooves for us.”

“Yeah,” interrupted Rainbow, “Twilight and I also had a little chat about how we feel about you a couple days ago.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Well I… you know I want this to work. I don’t want to seriously hurt anyone’s feelings.” Just how much social sciences did that girl go through, I thought.

They just stared at me, trying to get a fix on my attitude.

I got up and sat between them. “It’ll be okay.” I pulled them both in tightly. “I promise I’ll do everything I can to make it okay. Can you both do the same?”

Twilight nodded and returned my hug. “I’ll try my hardest,” she said with a sniffle.

“How about a little less than your hardest,” Rainbow added as she also draped her forelegs around me. “We don’t want a repeat of anything now do we?”

“Alex,” Twilight whispered to me, “library, ten o’clock.” She broke our embrace and, flushed face aside, left.

I looked over to the clock and leaned back with a groan.

“Friday’s going to last forever isn’t it,” asked Rainbow as she leaned in enough to knock me onto my side.

“Think you’ll be doing anything after work?”

“I think I could pencil you in between naps Al.” Despite how serious she tried to sound, she looked like she was losing the fight to keep a straight face. “I’ll swing by the tower around one alright?”

“Sounds great,” I told her. I was just happy I could at least weasel time in with both of them over the weekend.

7 - Friday

Friday morning wasn’t as bad as I expected actually. On occasion Blossomforth would give me a hoof with the clock tower. Today was the only time she brought Thunderlane along though. Can somepony explain how he possibly thought it was a date when they came up to help me work?

“So why am I doing this again,” Thunderlane asked me while we were scrubbing around a giant number twelve.

“’Cause Blossomforth has you on a short leash,” I replied. It’s true; she kept him in line and always had a sharp eye on him. I’d wager the feather flu thing during tornado duty did it but I had no confirmation.

“Double time boys,” screeched Blossomforth from a hatch down below us. “The minute hand’s catching up to you both and I swear I will kill you if you get him crushed Thunderlane!”

We both exchanged brief pale glances and worked harder. I heard about her attitude from Flitter but that was it. Blossomforth was usually nice, very nice actually, but when she was mad, you ran for cover.

“How in Equestria are you still alive when she gets like that,” I asked after we got out of harm’s way by the eleven. We had a whole fifty minutes before we had to worry about the minute hand catching up with us.

“Everything when she’s not mad,” he replied with a grin.

I gave him a smirk. “Everything?”

“Al, it’s great, know what I mean?”

I cocked my head over, turning enough to see the library. “I’m starting to. I really like two ponies. One is always so busy, but I can live with it. Everything else we do really makes up for it.”

“What about the other one?”

“She’s just as brave as she is reckless. She lights a fire in my heart and-”

Blossomforth poked her head back out to glare at us. “If you don’t get back to work Alex, I’m making sure the mayor docks your pay.” I never ever got that attitude from her under any circumstance.

For your sake Thunderlane, I thought, I pray that attitude is the only problem she has.

*****

We all went out for lunch after we finished and Blossomforth went back to being the mare I knew.

“So,” she said casually at the restaurant, “what’s this I hear about you liking somepony Alex?”

She caught me in mid-bite of a daffodil and lettuce sandwich. I was still getting used to the whole ‘flowers are almost a food group on their own’ thing. “Well,” I said after a hard gulp. “Yeah I like somepony.”

“I also hear there’s two of em. Is that true?”

“Well, I um,” I knew I had to choose my words a little more carefully.

“I see,” she said with a smirk. “It’s actually a pretty common thing, more common than you can imagine Alex. Decided who you’re going to let down?”

I shied away a little. I know she wants to help, but I wasn’t really a fan of talking about it. “I hope I can figure it out soon,” I said with a note of depression. “I’m trying something a little aggressive today and tomorrow.”

She gave me a supportive look before turning to Thunderlane. “How about you go and get your brother, I’d like to talk about this a little and I’d like some privacy.” She leaned up against him and gave him an alluring look, “sound good dear?”

“Oh,” he said with a startled look, “yeah I’ll go pick-up Rumble.”

I couldn’t help but wonder if she was just batting him away to talk in private or give him an order. Either way it worked perfectly. “I’ve never heard you like you were today,” I asked after Thunderlane was out of sight.

“Thunderlane” she said carefully, “he's a good guy but he needs a firm hoof. I can't show favorites or he’ll think I'm playing with him. Sorry for how I acted, but that’s just how our relationship is.”

I gave her a lax smile. “Well then Blossomforth, what do you suggest I do about them?”

“Just be honest,” she told me comfortingly. “Do they both know there’s somepony else you care for?”

“Yeah, but we’re all such good friends. It’s really complicated and I’m afraid that if I make a wrong move I’ll get one, only to lose the other’s trust and friendship.”

“Then you just have to tell them how you feel. Look, I know it’s some silly guy thing not to be as emotional as we girls, but you’ll have to spill your heart out to them sooner or later.”

“I just don’t want to lose either as a friend though,” I replied.

“If you don’t take the initiative both will keep hoping and when you have to break it off with the unlucky one then it’ll hurt more. Not just for her, but for you as well.”

I nodded. “Thanks Blossomforth, I’ll pay for lunch today.”

She just smiled, knowing that she did her best. The next part was up to me, an hour from now I’d be seeing where the day with Rainbow took me.

*****

Rainbow Dash was waiting for me when I returned to the tower. “Spend all day in a clock and yer late?”

I cranked my head up and saw the giant clock face read ten after one. “I appreciate the irony of that Dashie,” I replied.

“Yeah, I saw you heading off with Blossomforth and Thunderlane a while ago. What’s up with that?”

“Well, Blossomforth’s been by the tower a few times and she brought Thunderlane with her today.”

“Does she still boss him around?”

“How long’s that been going on?”

“You remember tornado duty,” she asked as we started heading off towards the park.

“So was it since then?”

“Flitter said she started to yell at him from across the hall at the hospital. Stuff like ‘I can’t believe you got me sick’ and ‘what’s Rainbow Dash gonna say to you if they can’t even get enough wingpower to finish the tornado?’ I was so embarrassed when word got around to me. Blossomforth’s always a bit of an attitude, it’s why I don’t like her on weather duty for Winter Wrap-Up. Gets on the rest of the crew’s nerves ya know?”

“Thunderlane seems to take the brunt of it though.”

“Well yeah. It’s nice to see somepony keeps her calmer. She’s so much different since they got together, nice and cheerful unless you have to be around Thunderlane.”

“I noticed, she conned him into working on the clock with me. He thought it was a date.”

“What a featherbrain.”

*****

By the time we stopped laughing at Thunderlane’s expense we were relaxing under a large tree in the nice autumn afternoon.

“Whoo, I haven’t laughed that much since Pinkie found that show that made no sense.”

“Which one Al?”

I cocked an eyebrow, “I have to pick?”

Rainbow snorted. “Good point.”

“So what do you wanna do today?”

“Hmm,” she put a hoof to her muzzle and looked like she was thinking about it. “How about we just relax for a while longer, maybe play catch later on. I know I shouldn’t be thinking of anything too one-sided cause I’m the really athletic one.”

Not to mention that you can fly, I silently added. “Thanks for the consideration, but aren’t you always trying to prove you’re the best Dashie?”

She gave me a contented smile as she leaned against my shoulder. “Not with you Al. If we were on a bit more even ground then I might wanna give it a shot, but not when there’s just too much of a gap. I’ve still got my dignity and I know you’d want me to play fairer. So, you and Twilight would try and outsmart each other right?”

“That’d never end. Besides, I think she’s trying to research romance-”

“What’s she using as her research? Trashy books? Rarity? Trashy books she got from Rarity?”

I wrapped an arm around her. “Why are you so concerned Dashie? I mean if she doesn’t do well then I can pay more attention towards you.”

“Al, I want a good, clean, mostly nonviolent fight. Besides, asking Rarity for help’s just asking for trouble. She’ll be all about the drama and just say stuff that works for her, it’s just not fair for anypony to deal with that.”

“So, got a ball or something for catch?”

Rainbow looked up from my shoulder. “We’re under one of Pinkie’s ball cache trees. So, how about we just, ya know, have some fun and watch the sunset together?” She hit her hoof against the tree trunk hard, knocking a ball out of some little holding place higher in the tree.

“Sounds great Dashie,” I got up and smirked, “go long.”

*****

“You’ve got quite the arm Al,” Rainbow told me after we returned to under the tree near sundown.

“Well,” I leaned my head back against the tree and took in a deep breath, “you only nearly missed that one toss.”

“Yeah, only cause you threw it so low. I mean I just barely made it before it hit the ground. Really got you good with those bucking tosses though didn’t I?”

“The ones I caught really made my hands sting,” I told her as I wrapped my arm around her.

“Oh, come on, if you’re gonna do that then do it right down below my wings.”

I had been reading Twilight’s book about Equestria, not to mention a few about race behaviors. “Not just yet Dashie, we aren’t that close yet.”

“Aw come on, we’ve shared a bed. We’ve kissed. I’d say we’re close enough.”

“Lemmie rephrase then, we aren’t intimate just yet.”

She nudged into my lap and wrapped her forelegs around my neck. “So, there’s hope for that then?”

My arms loosened a little, letting them drift enough to be just above her wing joint. “I won’t confirm or deny that just yet.”

“So we’re close enough for this, just not close enough for something completely intimate?”

“Exactly,” I replied with a sly grin. I was fine with a deeply affectionate pose, she is one of the mares that has a firm grip on my heart after all.

8 - Weather

Rain, have I ever mentioned what happens to luck after the Everfree Forest gets involved? Let me give it a shot. I went to the University of Michigan, so I learned weather’s never really predictable in the mitten-shaped state. The short version is that the Everfree Forest’s weather is, according to Fluttershy, like Michigan’s weather but with dangerous creatures instead of college students. Part of me wants Rainbow to have a phone so I can call her when this stuff happens, and see if there’s anything she can do about it. I don’t like fuming about Everfree being a pain, but it is a pain. Regularly.

A pot of coffee later it seemed to be rolling towards town so we were going to end up with rain in town too. In all its great felt wisdom, the Equestrian version of the Weather Channel still had no Ponyville marked. I’m starting to blame the forest for that now. At least there was a date with Twilight in a few hours. In all her elite planning skills, she accounted for several variables including Everfree complications. This could be pushing it though.

No sooner than I got my coat and umbrella then there was a knock at the door. “Al,” called Rainbow, “it’s me.”

As I opened the door, I saw Rainbow looking like somepony dumped her in the ocean. “It’s that bad,” I asked hesitantly.

“It’s getting worse,” she replied with a scowl. “Can I come in and dry off?”

I bit my lip and nodded. “Let’s get you a towel,” I hesitated, “or three.”

*****

A short while later I was sitting on a chair next to a small fluffy pile. Somewhere in there was our favorite weather pegasus. “So there’s a storm you can’t handle out there eh Little Miss Fluffy?”

Rainbow poked her head out from the pile and shot me a scowl. “You tell anypony about this and I swear, when I’m done with you, I’ll make you wish I killed you.” Hard to take her seriously when she’s drying off in a pile of fluffy white towels.

“The storm Rainbow, focus.”

“Right, so the thing is that storm’s got you stuck here. I know you and Twilight had something planned but I really don’t think it’s happening today.”

“And there’s really nothing you can do to help?”

“Yeah, I tried and first it threw me into the forest. Next, I ended up breaking one of Fluttershy’s windows, but we got it boarded up. The third try I skidded up your hill. I gave it my all each time I mean it Al. I really tried; we were supposed to get rain on Sunday, but well it’s Everfree. It does things that get on somepony’s nerves every once and a while.”

“I really hate that forest right now.” I checked my watch. “How can I actually get into town in an hour and still be alive?”

“Luck,” Rainbow suggested.

I considered my luck and checked the window. “I’m willing to take a risk.”

“But you’re not built like us,” she squealed in protest. “That storm could really hurt you!”

I stood up and grabbed my coat again. “Don’t care.”

“Look there’s a difference between brave and stupid Al,” she called as she followed me. “What you’re willing to do is way past stupid.”

“Look who’s calling the kettle black,” I snapped back.

“I can’t let you go through with this Al.”

I had my hand firm on the doorknob when I felt Rainbow’s hoof on my shoulder. “I have to try Rainbow.”

“No,” she pulled me back, despite my resistance to the thought. “You’re going to listen to me and listen good. I’ll get Twilight if it means that much to you. You go out there and I won’t be the only one you’ll be answering to.”

“So let me guess, you’ll brave the weather and it’ll be me who stays put right?”

“Exactly,” she pleaded. “Is it so hard to ask for?”

“It just makes me sound so helpless Rainbow.”

Rainbow’s eyes went wide and she flew around to stare at me. “No, it isn’t anything like that. I just don’t want you caught in this. It’ll send you to the hospital, hooves down. Do you really think any of us want that?”

She was right, if she had trouble out there there’s was no doubt I’d wake up in the hospital. “Just go then, good luck.” I’d be letting my friends down if I went out and wound up in the hospital. I still have to try, echoed in my head, I won't know unless I try.

“Just take it easy, I’ll be back soon.”

“No,” I said abruptly. Screw rationality, for once I was willing to listen to the voices in my head completely. “I’m not going to sulk or anything like that. Unlike everypony else I still have to actually show I can actually do something with myself.”

“Is this one of those weird ‘guy things’ that they think we girls can’t understand?”

“It’s more of one of those ‘because I have to’ things, know that feeling Rainbow?”

Rainbow’s stern ‘I mean business’ face melted a little and she nodded. “One good try then Al, but if it gets really bad and I mean really bad, then you listen to me and take cover got it?”

I gave her a nod. I felt a bit more like her actually, even if it was only a flare of bravado. I had a point to make and I was prepared to give it my all. I hesitated on the doorknob, but got no refusal from Rainbow this time. She was ready to take another crack at the weather.

*****

The rain was more like sleet once we were outside. The wind wasn’t really too bad, at least not the worst it could be. I could walk in this, not very fast but I could. “It’s not so bad Rainbow.” I practically had to shout at her to get past all the ambient noise.

“Less talking more moving,” she yelled back to me.

The wind threw my hair in every which direction but I kept going one foot in front of the other. It wasn’t cold for the season, but I could be biased. I did however see Rainbow’s big issue though; it took a lot of work to stay in the air in this. “Land, you’ll make better time!” I glanced as Rainbow went flying off, more carried by a particular gust of wind than anything else.

It was a long and aggravating trip. My coat clung to my body tightly and I was chilled to the bone but I managed to, not only get to the library, but keep Rainbow on the ground for most of the way.

“Still alive,” she reminded me, as I knocked on the door as hard as I could.

“Yeah,” I replied with a smile, “just like back home but with more walking.” I pounded on the door hard. “Twilight, it’s cold and wet out here!”

As the door opened, I didn’t see Twilight, but Spike instead. “What are you both waiting for,” he said, “get inside quickly.”

As we came inside, I saw a shivering mass of blankets near the fireplace. I slipped off my coat and took my boots off before tearing over to who I could only assume was Twilight.

“She tried to go out and get to your place,” explained Spike. “She tried a few times but didn’t get far.”

“Has she had anything to eat yet,” I asked the baby dragon.

“Soup’s just about ready.”

“Great, I’ll get it if you get a few more blankets. We’re both soaked and I’ll need to dry my clothes off.” I caught sight of two pairs of attentive ears and set of flared wings. “It’s not a show girls; just try and keep warm.”

“I’m on it,” responded Spike quickly as he retreated to get more blankets.

Slipping my soggy socks off, I went off to the kitchen and poured bowls of soup for everyone. Upon my return, I saw Rainbow huddled up close to the fireplace with Twilight. “Is she running a fever Rainbow?”

“Not a very bad one, she really needs this fire more than me.”

“Because we can add why my heater still works to the list of ‘things that shouldn’t be working in Equestria’ right?”

“Yes,” replied Twilight with a sniffle.

I came over to their side and passed them their bowls. “There’s plenty more so don’t you two worry,” I said warmly.

“I gotta know Al,” said Rainbow, “how in the hay are you standing in winds that threw me around like that?”

I smiled and sat down between the two of them. “Because your instinct was to fly and mine was to push forward. Weather’s stupid like when I was in college and I got tough in that stuff. Some nice, completely unpredictable weather came from around there. Okay, odds are you were in the ballpark but, for example, you could leave your house thinking it would be a clear, crisp winter day but are hit hard with a snowstorm by noon and you wouldn’t have seen it coming. Sometimes when we had sudden snow like that it lasted long enough to make an impression then melt almost overnight.”

Rainbow stopped shoveling soup into her mouth. “Wait,” she shot me a very startled look, “what?”

“It meant you traveled prepared for things. If you saw water on the ground before you left then you brought your umbrella. If it was chilly at nine or ten then you brought a jacket, sweater, or something thicker dependent on the temperature. You’d get ready for winter in November only to wonder if spring was there when it reached May. I think I’m exaggerating a little, but I don’t really think it’s by much.”

“Sounds crazy,” managed Twilight through spoonfuls of soup.

“Spent freshman year getting used to it, wasn’t fun to learn on the fly. My dorm mate told me the weather report was just a set of guidelines; he came from further up north and just helped me get used to things.”

“Uh Alex,” came Spike’s voice from behind us.

I turned around to look over at him. “Something wrong Spike?”

“No, not really, but if you’re going to let your clothes dry then you might want to get undressed away from them.”

I snickered a little and left both Twilight and Rainbow, who were looking sorely disappointed, to go and change into a towel and blanket. When I got back, I joined the, now three of them, huddled around the fire.

“I have one question Twilight,” I said after a while of just everyone gazing at the fire keeping us all warm. “If you can teleport a decent distance then why didn’t you just do that to get to my house?”

“Wasn’t thinking much,” she replied. Sounded right for when she was in a panic, but she was always on top of things when I was involved. “I just wanted to get over so we could have our date, but the storm really broke my concentration and I just had to get over there magic or not.”

“At least you proved you could be on top of things Alex,” said Rainbow supportively. “Feel better about yourself?”

I nodded. “It wasn’t something cool or anything, but it made me feel better to be on top of things. Even the best-laid plans have faults. Thanks to a little nudging from good friends, we can always find the problem and solve it together. How’s that sound?”

Twilight smirked. “Care to write that down Spike?” We all looked to the dragon, but he was already writing it down.

“From Alex,” he quoted before igniting the letter in a jet of the familiar green fire.

*****

The four of us just sat there beside the fire for most of the day, but once the storm started to die out Spike got up and went to clean everything up.

“I’m gonna get going you two,” said Rainbow with a hint of jealousy. She did most of the work and deserved most of the credit for this to even happen.

“See ya later then Rainbow,” I said pleasantly.

“Thanks for getting him here Rainbow,” added Twilight.

We heard the door close behind her and I immediately felt Twilight lean against me. “So much for our date,” I said as I wrapped my arm around her.

“This is just fine for me,” Twilight said comfortingly. “Do you think you could stay over tonight?”

I smiled. “I’d love to. Whenever you ask, I wouldn’t mind at all.”

*****

Celestia smiled as she read the letter, pleased at the interruption to her afternoon. She waited until dinner to read it with more than a passing glance. I’ll have to make the next one worse if he’s that resilient, she thought carefully.

9 - Rarity's Idea

“Look you three,” exclaimed Rarity one chilly October afternoon, “you’re all tearing Ponyville apart!”

Rainbow, Twilight, and I glared at her, directing our undivided attention from lunch. This was just one of those few times our schedules actually lined up. This wasn’t a date, far from it in fact. We wanted to catch up and I specifically wanted to make sure we were still all on the same page: nowhere slowly. What can I say, I wanted a fair-ish race.

She sighed, seeing how unamused we all were at her barging into our lunch. “Okay, you’re just tearing the gossip lines apart. How am I supposed to know what someponies are doing when all I hear is your relationships?”

“Well Miss Smartypants,” snapped Twilight, “what are you thinking about?”

Hearing Twilight calling somepony else ‘Smartypants’ sent shivers down my spine. My eyes darted to Rarity, hoping it was worth bringing up.

Rarity responded simply by gulping hard before bringing up her proposition. “Well, you know polygamy is legal.”

“What’s your point Rarity,” harped Twilight.

“You sure Rare,” I chanced. I knew what she was biting at, but I wasn’t sure if she was saying this so she could hear gossip about someone else’s life for a change or not.

“Absolutely, I just want to help you three.”

“What are you three talking about,” fumed Rainbow.

“What we are talking about Rainbow,” explained Twilight, “is we could pursue a multiple partner relationship. If you want me to give you a simpler version, then it means we can both be with Alex.”

Rainbow turned to stare at me. “What do you think Al?”

“Well,” I bit my lip, “it really depends on what we all think. I mean, personally speaking, it means you both aren’t fighting over me and it removes a colossal burden from my mind.”

“The real drawback is we’ll have to share him Rainbow.”

“But it’s like Al said,” Rainbow retorted, “it stops the fighting and it’ll de-stress him. Twilight, you gotta agree that’s a plus.”

“I know, and I won’t deny it also helps ease the tension we’ve had since Alex’s return to our lives.”

“What you really mean is since you both shared your feelings right?” All attention darted back to Rarity at her question. “Correct me if I’m mistaken, but that is when it began to get at your own emotions right Alex?”

“Look, it’ll make Lyra take a hint already,” interjected the cyan daredevil before I could say anything.

Twilight and I could only nod in agreement. “She’ll get that it’s purely an academic relationship she has with you Alex,” added Twilight pleasantly.

“Then how about we give it a shot for now, if it can’t work then we’ll have some decision making to do.” I wasn’t one hundred percent for this, it had plenty of potential to end poorly.

Rarity giggled as soon as she saw Twilight and Rainbow nodding in agreement. “I just hope you’ll think of me for the wedding dresses.”

“Now you’re just pushing it Rare,” commented Rainbow dryly.

“Agreed,” added Twilight, matching Ranbow’s tone perfectly. “I may have to look into a Canterlot boutique if need be.”

“But-”

Rainbow gave a sly glance towards Twilight, she caught on to the librarian’s plan. “Yes, I’ll just remember to put in an order up in Cloudsdale when it’s time.”

“But-but,” Rarity sniffled. This, unfortunately, prompted the duo to burst out laughing. “Why must you girls torture me so,” she whined.

“Because they care for you Rarity,” I replied casually. “I would personally like to thank you for the idea, but try not to rub our noses in it next time okay?”

“Cause the last thing we need are more problems,” added Rainbow as she tried her hardest to stifle her laughter.

Rarity always seemed to show an ability to spring back from a minor social disgrace, minor of course being relative. In this case however, we were met with her galloping off.

I sighed. “What am I gonna do with you two?”

“We’ll try the idea she brought up,” replied Twilight calmly, “but first we’ll finish lunch and find Rarity so we can actually apologize. Regardless of her motives, Rarity was trying to help and we just cast her aside.”

“Well duh Twilight,” Rainbow said casually, “Rare wants to open up her lines of gossip again. She wants everypony to stop saying things about the three of us. Don’t act like you haven’t heard any of it, cause we’ve been around our friends long enough to hear things we wouldn’t hear from anypony else.”

Memories of Fluttershy visiting me at the clock tower flashed before my eyes. She had come by regularly, always wondering the same thing: am I just playing both of our friends, pitting them against each other to garner my affections.

“I know,” Twilight replied supportively, “after we finish lunch we should still go and apologize to her. What have you heard Rainbow?”

“Lotsa stuff, mostly over-exaggerated arguments turned into fights between you and me over who gets Al. I mean, we both know better than to actually get physical right?”

Twilight nodded in agreement. “You’d be very judgmental about that, right Alex?”

“After what flack I get from Fluttershy regularly I’d really consider it a very childish notion for either of you to get violent,” I replied. “I mean, you’re both respectable ponies. You know violence isn’t the solution.”

“Just what does Fluttershy have to say?”

“Well, she’s afraid I’m just sitting back and letting you both compete for my amusement.” They both shot me accusatory glares. “Don’t worry girls, I wouldn’t dare do that to either of you. You both mean too much for me to do something so cruel, even if we were just friends I wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Well, if we wanna try this polygamy thing then let’s see where it goes,” Rainbow said, making sure she was loud enough to get some surrounding ponies to pay attention.

“Should I arrange a new meeting with my parents,” asked Twilight in a hushed voice. “I mean, so that they know the entirety of our relationship.”

“No,” I replied in an equally quiet voice. “Thank you for asking this time though. If it really pans out then we can try to get it planned out.”

“I’d like it if you both met my parents too,” added Rainbow. “I mean, I’ve written letters about how we’ve saved Equestria and stuff but they don’t know a whole lot about what’s going on in my everyday life. Mom sent me a letter about the article in the Foal Free Press when she saw it but that’s it. We just, ya know, don’t talk a whole lot.”

I stared at my empty glass and ran my own schedule through my head. We tried to plan these little get-togethers around meeting two at a time, in addition to schedules but now. “How’s everyone’s night on Friday?”

“Well,” Started Twilight as she started to think about it, “I have a research paper I need to finish for Princess Celestia but I could squeeze in a dinner date.”

“Sounds good,” commented Rainbow, “I’ll go and change the reservation for three on Friday then. Dinner’s at nine Twi.”

*****

Even as I was getting ready for dinner later on in the week I was trying to wrap my head around a polygamous relationship. It freed up lots of time on my part and, more importantly stopped me from having to decide between Dash and Twilight on the evenings they were both free. Before this, I had to keep track of who I was spending more time with, more often than not it was Rainbow. That led to a lot of stargazing and home-cooked meals by Twilight.

It was an awkward feeling, knowing I was walking into town this evening for a date with both Twilight and Rainbow, but the scary part of the day had already passed. Earlier on, Fluttershy had paid me a visit again. This time however, she was pretty nasty, threatening to do something rather… extreme to me if I hurt either Rainbow or Twilight. Naturally, I had every intention to do exactly what she said before she even said it, but it had left me a little nervous that afternoon.

“Don’t blow it,” harped my reflection.

“I know,” I told it casually.

“No slouching, and be polite.”

“Yes mom,” I replied dully.

“Don’t you dare roll your eyes at me,” it yelled as I left the room. I really hate that thing sometimes, I had after all, rolled my eyes.

*****

Dash and I hadn’t planned on a really fancy restaurant and I had hoped Twilight had no intention to overdress and make us both look like idiots for budgeting like decent people.

As I made my way into town I passed by the library and saw Twilight eagerly waiting for me. She had decided to, thankfully, just be herself. “So you can tell a lot about a man by the clothes he wears,” she said as she cantered up beside me. “Jacket and slacks, just as I had anticipated but,” she took in a deep whiff, “I wasn’t expecting the cologne.”

“Too much?”

“I’m just wondering why you don’t wear it when you spend the evening with me.”

“Cause tonight’s something special,” came Rainbow’s voice as she dropped down to join us. “Face it Twilight, we’re all going out as a… erm… how would you say couple if there’s three of us?”

“Threesome,” Twilight suggested.

“A little suggestive Twi,” I told her, “but I guess it’ll have to do.”

Author's Note

And now I wait for someone to want to kill me...

10 - The Short Straw

“Please I beg of you,” pleaded Rarity one day. It was getting colder and according to my computer, it was November already. If you were wondering about Nightmare Night I’m sorry, but that’s a Cobra fiasco best left forgotten.

“Rarity,” I told her with a startled expression on my face. “You haven’t even told me what’s wrong.”

She seemed to snap to her senses a little and regain some of her composure. “Oh, I’m so sorry Alex but I thought I already asked you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Rarity I haven’t seen you since you got Twilight, Dash, and I together as a trio.” It would be a little odd if it was Fluttershy, Twilight, or Dash to go so unseen for a few days. Rarity I understood a week, but a month? How in Equestria could I go a whole month with no sign of her? I could’ve sworn we spent a day the spa after I got off- no; that was with Fluttershy.

She gave me an embarrassed smile, her cheeks a little pink. “It’s Sweetie Belle and her friends. I’m going to be busy all weekend so I can’t watch them. Applejack has that trip this week so she can’t watch them either.”

“What about Fluttershy?”

“Taking care of a bear that’s come down with something, he has her undivided attention.”

I paused before even saying Twilight or Rainbow’s name; both options could only end poorly. Besides, I wanted to do something with them if I could manage it. “Then what about Pinkie, isn’t she good with them?”

“I’m afraid not, she’s tending to Sugarcube Corner while the Cakes are out of town.”

“Meaning I’m the last resort right,” I asked dryly.

“Why no, no, not at all Alex,” she replied nervously. I’ve gotten used to Rarity fishing for the right words, it’s just one of those things you learn to live with. “You see, I have a lot of work and I just can’t keep an eye on them. You don’t have any plans do you?”

I was hoping to spend Sunday enjoying the afternoon at Sugarcube Corner with Twilight and Rainbow, huddled together with mugs of hot chocolate. “I can keep an eye on them if nopony else can Rarity, but I’d like some time on Sunday to myself.”

“Plans,” she asked.

“I hoped,” I began but just sighed, “I’ll keep an eye on them.”

“Is something wrong dear?”

“It’s just been a while since I actually had a moment with just Twilight and Rainbow. Remember the manticore?”

“I heard about it, what happened?”

“Twilight and I were chatting when it showed up.” When we rushed to see if we could do anything everything got a little… complicated. “Well, I couldn’t go on a date after I pushed Rainbow out of the way and ended up in the hospital with stitches from where its claws got me.”

Rarity nodded. “I remember Fluttershy telling me about your scars. I’ll see what I can do to take them off your ho- sorry, I mean hands for a little while on Sunday.”

“It’s okay Rarity, there aren’t many pairs of hands around so I don’t mind too much if you just say hooves instead.” That was something else I had gotten used to. I mean it was just Spike and me who had hands so most ponies just said hooves anyways.

“Anyway, thank you so much for this.”

I smiled. “When can I expect them?”

“In an hour or so, they’re out at their clubhouse right now and I’ll go and tell them.”

I felt like I just signed something’s death wish, my sanity’s perhaps, but I think I can handle them for a while at least.

*****

A few bags, a few fillies, and a little more than an hour later, things weren’t too bad. Scootaloo’s really the only one that needs wrangling in around me. Applebloom in particular is incredibly well behaved around me, and to be honest I don’t mind her company after I get her attention with something. Sweetie Belle really could go either way, but she was more often than not quiet.

“So what’cha wanna do,” asked Scootaloo to Sweetie Belle.

“Ah’m sure Alex has something fun to do,” interrupted Applebloom before Sweetie had an opportunity so speak up.

“Girls,” I said calmly. Despite Scootaloo, both Sweetie Belle and Applebloom eased up and looked at me. “I’m willing to side with Scootaloo on this, what do you all want to do while you’re over here?”

“Well we don’t know a lot about humans,” replied Sweetie Belle shyly.

“Come on you three let’s go into the living room for now and then we can talk about our weekend. You’re over here for a while so I think we should have some idea what we’re going to do.”

“Do you have some sort of cool scars from the manticore’s claws Al,” squealed Scootaloo as we moved along.

“Do you still have that lump on your head from the wrench that hit you when you weren’t paying attention,” I asked back.

“Well, yeah my head’s still sore and…” Scootaloo trailed off on her own accord, her voice traded for a smile usually saved for Rainbow Dash. On Thursday, I had a visit from the Crusaders at the clock tower and, despite plenty of warnings from everyone, Scootaloo and a wrench met in a painful way.

*****

“So what do humans do for fun,” asked Sweetie Belle while Scootaloo gawked at my scarred back.

“Well it really depends on the person Sweetie Belle,” I told her. “I think it doesn’t matter where you go, everyone has their own way of having fun.”

“Well, what do you like to do fer fun,” asked Applebloom.

I sighed. “Back on Earth I spent so much time reading and studying that well, I started reading in my spare time and I really grew to like it. I know it’s not what you’d like to have heard but that’s most of the case. I worked from home so it wasn’t like I had a lot of free time with work looming elsewhere in the room anyways.”

Sweetie Belle looked at me curiously. “What about the rest?”

“Movies and video games,” I said with a grin. “Rainbow had so much fun playing video games when they all stayed with me. Sure, she’d get mad at times but that’s what she got for acting without paying attention more often than once. After I came over here, I spent more time around everypony and relaxed under the sun. Fall’s my favorite season, not too hot, not too cold, and you can still lean up against a tree and just look out at the scenery without worrying that you’ll freeze. I’ll still watch a movie here and there, or read a book, but I’ve just been enjoying things as they come.”

“Sounds boring,” remarked Scootaloo. “You just lounge around and don’t do much.”

“It has its own quaint charm Scootaloo, but then there’s also my job and making my own meals every day. I do a lot of running around every day so I enjoy when I have time to relax.”

“Then there’s all the time you’re with Twilight,” squealed Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah,” added Scootaloo with an inquisitive look. “You spend a lot of time with her and Rainbow Dash don’t you?”

“Well yeah,” I replied casually. “When you’re in love you spend time with the one you love. Well, in my case the ones I love.”

“Sounds sappy,” Scootaloo replied bluntly.

“Well that’s very true Scootaloo. Romance can be very sappy, but it’s really worth it in the end. You find that special somepony and you just want to spend your whole life together with them.” I noticed Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were pinning Scootaloo between them as they gave a contented sigh. It was, in its own way, cute to simply see the orange filly forced to listen to something she wasn’t immediately inclined to hear. “Life is full of missed opportunities my little crusaders. Friends we could’ve made, arguments that never ended, and even affection that is never returned.”

“Yer sayin that we all have times like that,” asked Applebloom.

“Everyone has moments like that, but we have to keep going in spite of, or perhaps because of, those things. Those things are parts of our life that we cannot change even if we wanted to.”

“That sounds pretty sad,” added Sweetie Belle.

“Well,” I added pleasantly, “you three, though you might not really see it now, are full of potential. Unlike ponies your age that have their cutie marks, you still have to find out what makes you special. What I see are three little fillies with so much potential and the determination to put everything to the test to find themselves. I think over the weekend I’d like to put you three to the test myself. I want to see where you three shine, where you can all improve, and just what makes you well… you.”

“Doesn’t sound fun,” objected Scootaloo.

“I see it as more like crusading with a level head,” I replied warmly. “You three are good at maintaining focus until it falls apart, but you try so many things so quickly that you aren’t really giving anything a chance. That’s why I’m going to help you use that thing in your heads called a brain. In short, we’ll take that focus you all have and apply it to one thing. That one thing might be different for each of you, but you’re still a team. You’re still the Cutie Mark Crusaders despite what each of you does.”

“So what does all that thinking have to do with getting out cutie marks?”

“Better to have a goal and still know where the start of the race is Scootaloo. Moreover, that's all the esoteric talking I can handle for a week. For now,” I turned on my heel, “I think we should all have something to eat. Does anypony have a request? Just be warned, I’m not that great of a cook.”

*****

“It smells so wonderful,” commented Sweetie Belle as I strode around the kitchen. A few pots adorned the stove and I had the blender out, a sweet aromatic smell emanating from it.

“You weren’t just yankin our legs when you said you weren’t good were ya,” added Applebloom.

“I know plenty better,” I said softly while dicing an onion. “Even Rainbow Dash can make a good meal in a pinch. Twilight’s actually a fantastic baker, as long as it comes down to baking by the books. Take away the cookbooks and you need Pinkie for fantastic baking. The real chefs who’ve used this kitchen though, are Fluttershy and Applejack.”

“What about my sister,” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Everyone said we’re about even Sweetie.” I continued my movement from pot to pot, vegetable to vegetable, and even liberal use of the spice cabinet. “While she favored perfection, I’m more interested in something that tastes good and looks appealing.”

“So how long till it’s all done,” came Scootaloo’s impatient voice.

“Not much longer.”

By the time Scootaloo was beating her head against the cupboard, everything was done and plated. “Can we eat now,” she asked in an act of desperation.

“Yes,” I said complacently. “I even have something in the fridge for dessert.”

*****

“You sure can cook up a storm Alex,” said Scootaloo with a smug look on her face, in addition to a splotch of ice cream on her nose. We all had some ice cream for dessert and she was hooves down the messiest eater I’ve seen. That says something after you’ve seen Rainbow when she’s starving.

“Yeah, I ain’t ever seen anypony fry asparagus before though,” added Applebloom.

“There’s a real art to frying food girls,” I added, pointing my spoon at them. “There was this one time where I even saw someone fry a scoop of ice cream.”

“But why didn’t it just melt,” asked Sweetie Belle with a confused look.

“It’s a really hard thing to make, but that was the most fantastic scoop of ice cream I’ve ever had. It’s ice cream that’s frozen past how cold ice cream should be and then coated in breading and quickly fried. I’m sure Pinkie could figure it out if we ask her in the morning.”

“Can we watch a movie,” asked Scootaloo with wide eyes. “I heard Rainbow Dash talking about some movie with pirates in it before you came here. She saw it here didn’t she?”

Face met hand as soon as I heard ‘pirates.’ “Of course she would have to say pirates wouldn’t she? Naturally, you happened to hear her say pirates Scootaloo.” Why is it pirates, I thought, always with the pirates! Who can I blame honestly?

“She’s not the only one who heard it,” added Sweetie Belle casually.

“Yeah,” added Applebloom defensively, “half of Ponyville probably heard her.”

They wouldn’t give me a moment’s peace unless they got a pirate movie and I knew it. “Alright,” I said flatly. Violence and alcohol aside it’s not so bad for well… no, I can’t even try to rationalize why it would be something I’d show them. After a few years then probably, but right now didn’t strike me as the right time. They were still in that impressionable age and it just made me uneasy. I’d like to sleep so I didn’t have much choice anymore. I gave them a smile as I got up. “Welcome to the Caribbean,” I added in my best attempt of Jack Sparrow.

Blue-ray, popcorn, and antsy crusaders, yes this would end poorly. The violence, the Sparrow-centric shenanigans, even the possible nightmare or two I could live with for a while. But the rum… why is the rum always gone? My poor rum vanished at the party way back when I came here.

I just smiled and watched Black Pearl with the trio. After a while I just watched them, seeing reactions. Sweetie Belle ducking away from time to time, Applebloom crushing on Orlando Bloom, and even Scootaloo and her unwavering ear-to-ear smile, I enjoyed just keeping an eye on them. There was no way Sweetie was going to sleep tonight; she was bound to have nightmares. Scootaloo wouldn’t sleep because she would be off the walls from well, just being herself. I could only imagine Applebloom getting some sound sleep, and even then, it was 50-50 at best.

By the time it was over, I could tell Sweetie Belle needed something to calm her nerves and Scootaloo could use a tranquilizer dart or three. “Ah think there’s more,” squealed Applebloom. “There’s more than one movie aint there?”

I sighed. “Yes, there’s more than one Applebloom. Alas,” I brought out Sparrow’s voice once more for her amusement, “there will be no more William Turner for you tonight.” I glanced over to see Sweetie Belle smiling. A smile’s a good start. “Now, what say you three to some sleep?”

“But what about crusading,” objected Scootaloo.

“Don’t worry,” I answered with a broad smile. “I have a plan or twenty, but I’d like to wait till morning. That gives us a whole day without having to get some sleep somewhere along the way. Now, what say you to that Scootaloo?”

She actually gave pause; I expected an impulsive answer. “I say, we have a deal. What say you to a place to sleep,” she paused and gave me a smug look, “Captain?”

“To that my dear Crusaders, I say follow me.” She’s getting into this more than I am, I added silently. “Gather your things and I’ll show you to your bed.”

*****

After tucking them all in, I went right to the study and left the door open and the light on. I waited for the inevitable visit from one of the three. I wasn’t waiting long, halfway through a page of ideas for the next day I saw exactly who I was expecting.

“Um excuse me Alex,” came Sweetie Belle’s voice from the doorway.

I glanced up from my notepad and smiled. “Having trouble sleeping Sweetie?”

“Uh huh.”

“We both know Scootaloo wouldn’t do anything unless I showed it and I’m really sorry if you got scared.”

“Couldn’t you make her get all quiet like Diamond Tiara got?”

“Come on over here Sweetie Belle and I’ll tell you a secret, just promise you won’t tell anypony okay?”

She looked a little nervous at first but nodded and came right over to me as I sat down on the ground. “So what’s this secret?”

“Shhh,” I whispered before looking around as though we were being watched. “The thing is I knew how to make Diamond Tiara quiet by saying the right thing at the right moment. It’s hard to interrupt Scootaloo when she can just default back to adoring Rainbow Dash and wanting her cutie mark. Diamond Tiara likes to flaunt the fact her family’s wealthy. Now, the thing is I was wealthy back on Earth, but the thing that really sets Diamond Tiara and me apart is that I hated the idea of being a show off because I had money.”

“Oh,” she said her eyes wide open as an epiphany struck. “So you can’t do that to Scootaloo since she can distract herself with other things?”

“That’s right Sweetie, now was the movie really scary?”

“A little,” she replied. Her smile returned and that was what I was hoping to see.

“You liked the romance in it though didn’t you? Between Will and Elizabeth I mean.”

“Yeah, that was great. Are they in the other movies?”

“The next two, but if I remember right even Rainbow had a nightmare or two from a movie. Took some work for me to find something, but I did. Now, I’d really like it if we didn’t tell your sister about watching that movie, be sure to pass that along to Applebloom if she’s still awake.”

She nodded and peered at my notebook. “So what are you writing down?”

“A few ideas before I forget them, but there is something that bothers me a little. A little birdie told me you sing.”

“What is it with ponies going on about me and singing,” she asked exasperatedly.

“From what I hear, it’s because you’re good. I think you’ll benefit most from something that helps your singing, but that would be my opinion. How about you try to get some sleep Sweetie, we have lots of work in the morning.”

“But what if I have nightmares?”

“I’ll be right across the hall from you girls,” I did a little mental math, “in about an hour and a half from now. If you have any nightmares, feel free to wake me up. Just don’t do it too often okay?”

Sweetie nodded and went right back out and upstairs to bed. She’s a charming filly, but what she seriously needs is some confidence.

*****

I didn’t sleep well that night, my punishment for showing the movie to be sure. By six in the morning, I was wide-awake, not from my alarm clock, crusaders, or even my internal clock. It was the door, and I was pretty sure who it was. After donning my robe I groggily came down to answer the door. “Good morning Ditzy,” I said with a smile to our walleyed mailmare.

“Morning,” she replied warmly. Her condition isn’t as bad as you’d think, just don’t stare too long or she’ll take offense. “I’ve got a letter for you, express delivery from Canterlot.” She offered the letter to me and I gladly took it.

“Thanks a lot Ditzy, can you stop and have a cup before going on?”

“Not today, but thanks for the offer Alex.”

How in Equestria can she do this, I thought as I watched her fly off towards town. I just have no drive to be up this early on a Saturday. My mind went to coffee immediately, okay close the door cause it’s cold out there was first but still.

*****

While I waited for my morning comfort, I decided to see just who in Canterlot would want to send me an express letter. There was no ornate marking on the wax seal, which meant fewer candidates. I lifted the wax seal carefully with the help of a heated knife and opened the letter. I did not intend to damage anything in case it had importance.

“Let’s see,” I said calmly. “Who is my mystery writer?” I read the letter carefully, but I wasn’t ready for who it was.

Dear Alexander,

I am sure this comes as no surprise that I would contact you at some point. I hope you do not mind entertaining me tonight; we have a few things to discuss regarding your living here. This is in response to what has been brought to my attention, how deep your affection for Twilight Sparkle is.

I will explain further tonight,
Princess Luna

11 - The Lunar Princess

Play company to Princess Luna on top of Crusader duty? I’m not liking my day off here. No, it’s too early for liquor and I can’t sulk, both will do something to affect my judgment regarding the three fillies. I for one am a very happy drunk, and that will just come to bite me in the flank by dinnertime. By my second cup of coffee though, I was cooking breakfast for four.

In no time, I heard the sound of three sets of hooves coming down the stairs to see what’s being made. “How do you girls want your eggs,” I asked groggily. Let’s face it, I didn’t want to be awake for at least three or four hours but I was up and there was no going back to sleep.

“Scrambled,” echoed two voices.

“Ah’ll take em over easy please,” replied Applebloom.

“Got it,” I replied to the trio. “Two sets of scrambled eggs, one over easy, and I think I’ll just make myself an omelet.” I was working more like a machine right now, cooking on autopilot. Three glasses of juice, one mug of coffee, two plates of scrambled eggs, one plate over easy, and an omelet, I could do all of that on autopilot.

*****

With plates and glasses at the table, the crusaders took their seats and had at their meal. I went to check the news and eat a little more quietly. There wasn’t anything interesting in any paper, and all I got for my horoscope was something about a “visitor from afar.” Normally I find it amusing, but I don’t like knowing it’s right before I even see it.

“So what’s the plan for today Alex,” asked Scootaloo eagerly when I came back into view.

“I need a shower and a change of clothes before we do anything. Also, I have to see if someone can watch you three for a while later on tonight.”

“Is it somethin we did,” asked Applebloom.

“Not at all,” I replied, “I’m going to have company and I’d like that to be a little more private.”

“Somepony we know?”

“That would be a safe assumption. Do you think you three could help me find someone to keep an eye on you for the night?”

“What about Rainbow Dash,” asked Scootaloo excitedly.

“We will not be bothering Rainbow tonight,” I said firmly. “I’d like to remind you that not everybody here can walk on clouds Scootaloo.”

“I’m not sure if we should, but you could try asking my sister,” suggested Sweetie Belle.

“I know what you mean. That might not be a safe idea Sweetie, but I will if I have to. Have any ideas Applebloom?”

“Fluttershy,” she asked with a skeptical look on her face.

“I can always hope,” I said, before grabbing the crusader’s empty plates and heading into the kitchen to do them.

*****

After resigning to a pot of coffee and a fresh change of clothes, I simply stared at my mirror. “Think this will go well,” I asked my reflection.

“It’s a slippery slope,” it replied calmly. “If nothing else I’ve got your back.”

I grinned. “Hard to have my back if you’re stuck in the mirror buddy.”

“Details, details,” it replied in a lax tone. “Just make sure you, Twi, and Dash are fine with everything.”

“Um excuse me Alex,” I heard from the doorway. I turned to see Sweetie Belle looking up to me. “Are you talking to somepony?”

“Hear any other voice in here Sweetie,” I asked her.

“No, I only heard you talking to somepony. I couldn’t hear who you were talking to.”

I smiled. Got it reflection can’t be heard, I thought. “It’s hard to explain Sweetie. I suppose I’ll talk to Twilight about it, I think it’s magic related. Let’s see if Fluttershy’s willing to keep an eye on you three fillies.”

*****

“Fluttershy,” I asked as I knocked against her front door. It was actually a warm day, for November of course. “Fluttershy, are you home?”

“Ah’m not sure she’s home Alex,” called Applebloom.

“Can you please check a window girls?”

As the trio went to check, the door opened. Standing at the threshold was Angel glaring at me.

“Is Fluttershy in Angel,” I asked to the white bunny.

His glare turned into a scowl and he tapped his foot impatiently.

“Cut the crap or I’ll find a use for a cookbook about rabbits Angel. Is she in or not?”

His glare softened into a fearful look once he caught a quick flash of my teeth, and he shook his head nervously.

Checkmate you little prat, I thought. “Show me where she is Angel.”

*****

Angel was actually pretty easy to keep up with, especially with a trio of fillies to help me keep up. He led us into the outskirts of the Everfree Forest, to a small cave and waited.

“Lemmie guess Angel,” I said as I reached the bunny, “a bear?”

He nodded slowly and pointed a shaky arm towards the mouth of the cave.

“Thank you Angel, I’ll take it from here. You can go back to Fluttershy’s and keep an eye on things there.”

After giving a silent sigh, he scurried back the way we came, quickly out of sight.

“So what’d you do to him,” asked Scootaloo.

I turned to give the trio a smug grin. “A little coaxing can go a long way, especially when you’re not amused by bunny trying to look tough.”

“So Fluttershy’s in there,” asked Sweetie Belle.

“If that little cottontail’s willing to double-cross me then I’ll be sure he knows better next time Sweetie. Just to be safe, how about you three just wait out here okay?” After getting nods from each, I made my way into the cave.

*****

I had a surprising amount of light from outside as I went inside. Normally, I’d expect a bear hibernating about now but well… Equestria has a tendency not to follow a human’s concept of normal. I’d say that’s lesson one for any human coming to have a visit here. I had elected to remain silent until I saw either the bear in question or Fluttershy, so all I heard were the echoing sounds of my footsteps.

Fortune shined on me after a little while once I caught a glimpse of pink and yellow further inside. My light was dying out, but I’d wager I saw a wing and either her tail or mane. “Fluttershy,” I chanced, as I got a little closer. What can I say? I was running out of light and I liked being able to see with some clarity.

“Alex,” I heard nervously echo in the cave.

“Can I have a moment Fluttershy?”

I heard her sigh. “It’s okay,” she was saying to who I could only assume was the bear. It wasn’t long until She came into my sight though. “What can I do Alex?”

“Well,” I said nervously, “I can see you’re really busy so I think I’ll ask somebody else.”

“Oh, can you please tell me anyways,” she asked me bashfully. I’ll admit, she defines adorable when she does that.

“I need someone to watch the girls tonight. I’m getting a visit from Princess Luna and I’m afraid I can’t keep an eye on them. Or have them ask a bunch of questions.”

She gave me a warm smile. “I’m sorry I can’t but I hope you can find somepony. Rarity was by yesterday asking for some peace from the girls over the weekend.”

And here I thought she was looking for an excuse, I thought. “Got any suggestions for me Fluttershy?”

“Um, if it’s just for the night you could try Pinkie.”

“Thanks Fluttershy,” I told her with a smile before heading back outside.

After I got back outside, I sighed. “C’mon girls, let’s try Pinkie.”

*****

After we arrived at Sugarcube Corner, we were left at the mercy of Pinkie being Pinkie. Cupcakes, slices of cake, candy, hot chocolate, the works, and it was really tricky to get a word in edgewise.

“Pinkie I need to ask you something,” I tried through my fourth glass of hot chocolate. This was my fifth attempt to get through to the party pony.

“How is it,” she asked frantically. “I added a bit too much chocolate didn’t I?”

“No, it’s great. Pinkie, please listen to me though.”

She dashed into the back room and came out with a little powdered cinnamon. “You like a little dab of cinnamon don’t you?”

I blinked, startled at her mad attempt to make it perfect. “Yes, but that’s not the point. Sit down and listen to me for a teeny tiny moment okay?”

“Um excuse me,” came a customer’s voice, “can I get a half dozen of those triple chocolate cupcakes Pinkie?”

I groaned as Pinkie rushed off to help the customer. Welcome to my early afternoon.

After helping the customer, Pinkie dashed over to Twilight off in the corner. She, much like the crusaders and I, was taste testing something for Pinkie. “How’s the mousse?”

“Just fine,” Twilight replied with a sigh, “but Pinkie I think you should listen to Alex. He’s been trying to ask you something ever since he showed up.”

“Oh, I already know what he wants,” I heard her say cheerfully. “I can’t do it but I thought I’d get him to help me out a little. This is the first time the Cakes have let me run the store for a whole weekend and I can’t mess it up. If something goes wrong then they’ll never ever leave me alone again.”

I refrained from saying anything; my nervous eye twitch said everything for me. I ushered the crusaders out while Pinkie was distracted by asking another taste tester. How could you betray my trust, I thought after we snuck out. You’re my friend; you owe me big for doing this to me.

“We’re running out of easy plans aren’t we,” asked Sweetie Belle.

I simply nodded, a look of absolute defeat on my face. I didn’t want to do this to Rarity. I mean it, I did not want to do this at all.

*****

“Is the scarf too short Alex,” Rarity asked me while she was frantically working on a jacket.

I had the truest form of misfortune today. First, I was a test subject for Pinkie and her quest for the perfect desert. Now, I was an unfortunate fashion victim. “Rarity, can I please have a word with you?”

“It’s too short isn’t it?”

“No, it’s just fine but I have to tell you something.”

She paused and looked at me nervously. “Are the girls giving you a lot of trouble?”

The trio of fillies near the doorway looked a little nervous. They were afraid to talk and say something that would destroy my defense.

“Something unexpected has come up Rarity,” I started to explain. “I’m sorry, but I need to renege on our agreement so I can do it.”

She gave me a glare of foreboding doom. “Upstairs now, we need to talk.”

I gulped hard, removed the scarf, and followed her upstairs.

*****

“What in Equestria is so important that you have to break a promise,” she hissed after locking the door to her room.

I sighed, knowing she’d do anything to find out why I had to dump those three back on her hooves. “I’m having company tonight. Very unexpected company from Canterlot.”

“And just who is this company?”

“Princess Luna,” I replied grimly. “She said we have a few things to discuss regarding my feelings and my living arrangements.”

“I was going to be bringing my date home tonight,” she whined. “Please, I beg of you just keep them tonight!”

“I can’t play host to the girls and Princess Luna. Not while we’re talking about something that might end up being really sensitive.”

“But I can’t watch them, I have a date and something might come from it!”

Everything interesting happens here, the strangeness that was once something I saw through my television every Saturday had become the norm every day now. Weird things became just another afternoon affair. A boring day’s work became the norm every single morning. Rarity and I argued about who was going to keep an eye on the girls for hours, but this felt more like a slice of a human’s life. It didn’t feel Equestrian until you got to the fact that she wanted to bring a stallion home, which seemed normal enough, and I was going to have her take back three fillies so I could cope with royalty. Like I said, everything interesting happens here.

“Fine, I’ll have my date and then, even if I want to, I won’t bring him home with me,” Rarity finally said. “You owe me though.”

“A while back you asked me for a favor,” I knew who owed me when, “consider us even.”

“Fine,” she pouted, “but you can watch them for the rest of the weekend right?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t want to impose too much.”

*****

“Thank you for sending me notice,” I said as I welcomed the lunar princess into my home.

“It must be difficult getting used to everything,” she said as she calmly came inside. “You are in a completely new world and things must have been trying to get used to.”

“Well, it’s more like getting used to ducking a lot Princess Luna. I’ve had plenty of help adjusting to everything else.”

She gave me a brief smile. “You are as tall as my sister so I suppose that is understandable. Are the ponies of Equestria treating you well?”

“So far they are treating me very nicely. I still get a stare on occasion, but it usually comes from somepony visiting town. Can I get you anything?”

“I would enjoy a glass of milk if you can spare it.”

“Certainly, but I haven’t really started cooking just yet Princess. I mean it took me forever to find somebody to keep an eye on Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. I didn’t want them to overhear something they shouldn’t is all. I also wasn’t sure what you would like to have to eat.”

I got a surprised look from our princess of the night. “Very well, then I think we should start our discussion while you are preparing dinner.”

*****

I was cooking while Luna enjoyed her glass of milk. “What I’d like to discuss is exactly what I said in my letter,” she began. “You are very close to Twilight Sparkle correct?”

“Yes,” my smile went unseen, “she means a lot to me. Is there something wrong with feeling that way about someone outside your species?”

Princess Luna gave me a brief laugh. “You sound a lot like her, when she first told me about you. She was not as forward about it, but she felt the same way.”

“I’ve been hearing that a lot.” Enough to get sick of hearing it, I added silently. “If we’re so close then is there something I should know? I mean besides ‘get off your flank and ask for her hoof’ cause it’s more complicated than that.”

“Complicated how?”

I drew in a deep breath, ready to try to explain it to the lunar princess. “The relationship I have with Twilight isn’t just the two of us; we’re pursuing a polygamous relationship with a pegasus named Rainbow Dash.”

“Oh, is that all?”

I was stunned, at least until my brain kicked in and reminded me exactly who I was talking to. Not to mention that it was still perfectly in our legal rights. “That’s about how complicated it gets.”

“It is nothing to be ashamed of Alexander,” she commented pleasantly. “When I was seeking a partner last he inquired if I would mind a second mare in our relations. Ours was a far more passionate life after that addition.”

“It was something legal back then too?”

“It was. Your world does not have this relation?”

“Well, culture and national laws varies but where I’m from it isn’t.”

“Well, I am afraid that I will have to be the bearer of ill tidings. You had put thoughts towards the future have you not?”

“Well, yeah. Is there something I should know?”

“You’re content with no foals of your own?”

She caused me to falter in my movement, everything in my mind shut down. “I feel like I should’ve seen that coming Princess Luna,” I replied vacantly.

“In a way I suppose you might have,” she said nervously, “Twilight Sparkle told me you were smart.” Even Luna could tell she hit a pressing issue with no subtlety. “I am sorry Alexander, but it is the truth. You are not a compatible species as far as I can tell. There is nothing wrong with loving each other, but I wanted you to know.”

I had gone back to cooking almost mechanically, just like in the morning. “Is there anything we can do about it?” I have to admit it hearing something like that is a completely different story. I don’t think anyone’s prepared to hear bad news even if you knew it was coming.

“Would you feel better if you talked about this with Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash present?”

“I would,” I replied without a thought to the contrary. “It’s too important not to.”

“I shall leave you to your cooking then and get them. We’ll discuss your options upon our return.”

“Dinner for four then,” I said with a weak smile.

Ponyville library…

Twilight Sparkle read by lantern light on her bed. She had been examining every page of her book for the past hour.

“Be bold,” she read at a whisper, “even if you think you are absolutely positive they understand, drive the point home with-.” A gentle rapping at her balcony window immediately interrupted her. She slammed shut her copy of The Egghead’s Guide to Romance and slipped it back into its hiding place before answering.

“Princess Luna,” she said alarmingly.

“Pardon me Twilight Sparkle,” apologized the lunar princess, “but I must ask that you head to Alexander’s home for dinner tonight.”

“Alright, let me just douse my lantern and I’ll be on my way.”

Princess Luna smiled before taking flight, her eyes set on the floating home of Rainbow Dash.

*****

Above Ponyville…

“Don’t push too hard,” read the daredevil, “as a pegasus, you must be prepared to ease back when it comes to proving your point while dealing with non-aerial ponies.” She lowered her copy of Relationships and You: A Helpful Guide for Pegasi and placed a hoof to her chin. After weather duty, not to mention a brief trip to Cloudsdale for the book, she had poured over both Chapter Five: Non-Ponies and Chapter Nine: Polygamy nonstop.

“So, be rational and a little less straightforward eh?” Unlike her unicorn counterpart, Rainbow Dash had managed to finish her thought before she heard a knock at her door. Rainbow glanced over to her clock, which read 8:55 and was more than a little confused. “Who in the hoof would bug me now?”

“Please accompany me for dinner this evening,” said the lunar princess as soon as the door opened. “Surely, Twilight Sparkle is on her way to Alexander’s house as we speak.”

“Uh, alright Princess Luna.” Rainbow Dash was more than a little confused by the sudden appearance of the lunar diarch, but was more than willing to go along with things as soon as she heard Alex’s name.

“So regardless of how we feel we can’t have foals,” asked Twilight over dinner after she and Rainbow were brought up to speed.

“Yes but Princess Luna,” I turned to look at her, “you told me there’s something we can do about that.”

Luna nodded. “You have a few options; the best, and safest, one is the most obvious of them: magically transforming one of you into the other’s species. In ancient times it was a method used to allow a love like the one you all share to bear fruit as it were.”

Rainbow, Twilight, and I exchanged appraising glances. “Would either of you want me any different than I am,” I asked them.

“I’m not gonna lie to ya Al,” Rainbow replied, “we’d miss stuff right Twilight?”

Twilight nodded in agreement. “But what if we became human instead?”

“Just out of nowhere blindside everypony with human Twilight and Rainbow Dash? Getting used to being on two legs all the time, being tall and lanky, having no magic or flying, could either of you get used to all of that?” I thought Twilight without magic seemed weird and a flightless Rainbow just seemed absurd. “I wouldn’t mind, I’d love you both either way, but could everypony else handle it?”

“But the opposite applies to you Alex. Could you learn to cope with a new line of sight, or being a quadruped? I mean, it would be a massive change for any of us.”

“All of us,” Rainbow corrected.

“It wouldn’t be as simple as that,” clarified Luna. “If Alexander pursued becoming a pony, then nopony would know what kind of pony he would become until the spell is finished.”

Twilight stared at Luna and I could tell what was going through her mind. Imagine learning magic from scratch, or figuring out how to fly when you’re an adult.

“Would you teach me about magic Twilight,” I asked shyly after a little while.

“Naturally I would but,” Twilight started but she just froze mid-sentence.

“I’ve been thinking about it,” I chanced to explain when she couldn’t finish. “I mean like, at first it was just because I was a fan. Then after you two and your friends visited, I thought about it more seriously. Lately, it’s more like jealousy. I mean I love you,” I glanced to Rainbow, “both of you and I love having all these cool friends, but I’m just not like everypony else. I want to be more of a part of everypony’s life.”

Twilight just stared at me. I knew that something was churning in her mind, but that was all.

“You are a part of everypony’s life,” added Luna supportively. “Every pony in Ponyville knows you’re somepony they can depend on.”

“Uh Princess Luna,” Rainbow said skeptically, “I mean I know you were here for Nightmare Night, but you haven’t been here any other time. How would you know that?”

She beat me to my question, I thought as I tried not to show my irritation on my face. Of all ponies, Dash would just happen beat me to my bucking question!

“It shows in other ways,” Luna replied with a hint of smugness hidden behind a good imitation of her sister’s general serenity. “Alex, your desire to keep others happy and ensure other ponies don’t have to learn about things that would take longer to explain. The thing that verified this to me was how you acted earlier tonight. How you wanted both Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle to be here while we talked about this, and how you ran around all day to find somepony to keep an eye on three fillies you were supposed to be taking care of.”

I was bright red by the time she finished talking. “I didn’t think we should have them involved in this talk,” I explained as the duo turned to stare at me accusingly. “Rarity understood the gravity of the situation and knew just why I had to renege on what we planned.” I gave Luna a casual glance. “They do give you their regards though Princess.”

“Please Alexander, tell them thank you for their consideration. You will be returning to your earlier plan with her in the morning correct?”

“Naturally, I can only ask so much of my friends.”

“Yes, thank you for proving your integrity to me as well. I doubt I personally need much more proof that you would go to any lengths for a small slice of peace here in Equestria.”

“I’m not sure I’m comfortable with how you’re both acting about this,” interjected Twilight. “I love you for who you are Alex, is that enough for you? Don’t I have a say in this?”

Rainbow groaned. “We do,” she said as she pointed a hoof at the librarian, “but try thinking about the future Twilight. You’d like ta have foals eventually right? Sounds great to me.”

“Well,” she hesitated, “yes but couldn’t we adopt?”

It was my turn to cut Rainbow off. “I’d like to be able to answer a few things for them then. What kind of father would I really be if I couldn’t help them in any way I could?”

Luna cleared her throat as she tried to return the conversation. “For how long have you thought about this?”

I bit my lip. “Since my visit to the school I’ve been wondering about those sorts of questions. Things like ‘why don’t you have a cutie mark’ or ‘how come you’re so different’ I’m not sure I could really answer those to family. It’s a little easy to tell a class those sorts of things it’s a bit more impersonal, but to talk about it to a child that you’re raising. It, well… it seems so personal that I don’t think I could answer them like that.”

Twilight gave me a bashful nod. “I get it a little. I mean I don’t think I could imagine how that would be for a foal, but I understand what you’re trying to say.”

I got out of my seat and moved over to the chair between her and Rainbow. “Thank you for understanding Twilight,” I gave them a brief hug, “even if only a little.”

“You’re thinking more like a father before you even become one,” added Luna with a smirk.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing,” asked Rainbow skeptically.

“For now,” I said with a smile, “I think it’s a good thing. It shows I’m trying to be responsible even before something life altering happens.”

Twilight glanced first to me for support, to Rainbow for confirmation, and then to Luna. “We’re willing to support Alex, so what’s the next step?”

“What else Twilight Sparkle,” Luna answered smugly. “We bend the law a little more. The spells we need are deep in the archives, and we’ll probably want to do them there, so we aren’t caught sneaking them out.”

I gave her a skeptical look. “Are these spells legal Princess?”

“Last I checked.” She gave me a flimsy smile, the same I get from Twilight from time to time. I’m not a fan of that smile, but it showed some encouragement at least. “It will be easiest if I check the security before we do this. I want to make sure we can get in and get out without being seen. My magic will be easier to notice, so we will have to do this even more carefully than you would think Alexander. I’ll send you another letter when I’m ready to go over everything.”

“Sounds like a good enough plan for now,” added Rainbow casually.

“Well then, I suppose I should return to my duties. Thank you for the meal Alexander, expect to hear from me sometime soon.”

I gave a calm ten count as I escorted Luna, Twilight, and Rainbow back to the front door. Bidding each a good evening, and the latter two with a kiss, I closed the door and sighed. I’ve needed a drink all day, and it’s about time I get one.

I had no sooner than turned around then there was a knock at the door. Not surprisingly, both Rainbow and Twilight were waiting.

“I don’t wanna invite myself in or anything but I wanted to see if I could spend the night Al,” Rainbow asked.

“I wouldn’t mind if you’d allow me the same courtesy,” added Twilight.

I rolled my eyes, but fully opened the door. “Come on in girls,” I said. “We can test it out a little more I guess. I mean like, sharing a bed as a romantic group instead of as friends.”

“I’d like that,” commented Twilight.

“I’ll take window-side if you guys don’t mind,” added Rainbow. “I’ll wanna get up and get to work early tomorrow. Give me some time to think ya know?”

Twilight and I nodded in agreement. I suppose we all needed time to think about things, but I was still committed to that drink right now.

13 - Rarity: Evading The Talk

“Um do you mind us being here tonight Rarity,” asked a very nervous Sweetie Belle.

The fashionista did her best to hide her thoughts. “Not at all Sweetie Belle,” she lied.

“Hey girls,” called Applebloom from the window, “ah think ah saw Princess Luna.”

As everyone quickly gathered around the window, Rarity included, the lunar princess left the library’s balcony.

“She’s heading towards Rainbow Dash’s,” called Scootaloo as she followed the large figure’s ascent. “What’s she doing here, Nightmare Night’s like, a year away!”

“She’s doing the exact same thing Twilight’s doing,” said Sweetie Belle as she started to piece it together. “Why’s she and Rainbow Dash going to Alex’s house with Princess Luna?”

The three fillies turned to look directly at Rarity who was now nervously retreating towards the kitchen. “Well, eh, you see girls, when a stallion loves a mare a whole lot…”

“Ah know this,” exclaimed Applebloom. “Applejack told me all about the birds an’ the bees.”

“Well, that’s one way to put it I suppose,” Rarity said nervously.

“What do birds and bees have to do with anything,” asked Scootaloo nervously.

“Anyways,” she started with renewed vigor, “it’s about high time somepony gave you The Talk Sweetie Belle. Since I do not see mother here, I shall have to do the job myself. I’ll cover some of the subjects and some I shall withhold until you are older. I only ask that you interrupt sparingly as I will happily answer questions when I’m finished.

“I suppose I should start at the beginning. Young fillies and colts, around your age, begin to feel something new happening to their bodies. They grow, become more pronounced, young fillies transform into more appealing ponies. Colts will grow too, their voices will deepen, and, most important of all, become more interested in fillies. These are natural parts of growing up, so don’t worry your dear heads about it too much.

“Colts will, at this time become more attracted towards you, and will often do silly things to garner your attention. I warn you now, that a proper lady considers her choice in her special somepony before spending too much time together.”

~~~~~

Elsewhere in Ponyville, two mares and a human sneezed.

“Are you all catching something,” asked their royal company.

“I don’t think so,” replied the human.

“Yes,” added the unicorn mare. “I suspect somepony, despite my studies saying otherwise, is talking about us.”

“So, you were saying Princess Luna,” the pegasus began.

“Yes,” the lunar diarch said with a nod, “there is very little more to explain. I have presented you my theories and assumptions based off what Twilight Sparkle has told me and my own research into the realms of cross-species mating and reproduction.”

~~~~~

“You see girls,” stated Rarity, “as colts grow older they gain greater muscle mass, their chest get wider, legs firmer, and so forth. Much like colts, fillies also change. Your hips will widen, you Sweetie will have better control of magic, and I think your wings will fully develop too Scootaloo but don’t hold me to that.

“Anyways, that part should be saved for when you’re all older. What I suppose I should really be getting to is what sort of relationship is going on. I’m sure you are aware, like almost everypony else, that Alex, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash are all in a relationship.”

“Well yeah,” Sweetie interrupted, “it’s all most ponies are willing to talk about.”

“Yes Sweetie and it makes for boring conversation when everypony talks about the exact same thing for too long. Now, normally when a pony finds their very special somepony it’s very simple. A mare loves a stallion, is very simple after all. They have a very complicated relationship where both Rainbow Dash and Twilight love Alex. Interestingly enough, Alex is content enough to love them both just as much.

“At first, Twilight and Rainbow competed for time with Alex and it sparked a lot of wild stories throughout Ponyville. Why, when I met them all and tried to sort this whole affair out they were more content to let this three-pony relationship work for the time being. It appears as though it’s working as there has been no tension between any of them. Regrettably, I am kind of jealous of them.”

“An’ why’s that,” asked Applebloom.

“You see dear, they are all in agreement about so much in their lives and talk things out as a group that there isn’t much left for anypony to gossip about. Mostly what I hear is if they’re breaking up or not and, as a good friend, I would hope they would tell me if there are problems like that. I know it would be simpler if it were just a mare and stallion, but Alex isn’t a stallion, he’s a human and that gives their relationship an exotic feel to it.”

“‘Cause there aren’t other humans anywhere right?”

Rarity nodded. “That’s exactly right, I would expect Twilight to have known before we met Alex exactly what a human was but we had to learn on the spot as it were. Naturally, Pinkie was aware of far more than the rest of us, but she’s been saying that for ages.”

“Wait,” said Scootaloo as she shook her head, “so if Pinkie knew so much then why didn’t she and Alex feel the way Rainbow Dash and Twilight feel about him?”

“I happen to know this one quite well, Pinkie and I talked about it a little after Twilight and Rainbow got everything out in the open. I mean to say that while I enjoyed the drama of what was going on, I wanted to know why Pinkie never tried to make a move on Alex. She told me she likes him as a friend and that was all there was to it. How Alex acted around Pinkie confirmed this for me, he wasn’t interested in her just like she wasn’t interested in him.”

“So,” started Scootaloo hesitantly, “where do these birds and bees come into all of this mushy stuff?”

“You’ll know when you’re older,” Rarity said proudly. “What a young lady like you must know about is that you must start to show interest in young colts.”

14 - Plans Brewing

It’s been a while since I spoke with Luna, early-December already. Time’s really flying by, but it hasn’t really been that long once you think about it. All it’s been is a little more than three months.

I’ve played host to the Cutie Mark Crusaders a few more times, and tried to get them on the right track but I can see how Applebloom’s attempts at leadership are more of a joke thanks to Scootaloo’s spontaneity.

What bothers me, aside from not getting a letter from Luna, is that I’ve never even seen Zecora. I mean, doesn’t she ever visit Ponyville to get things? If so, have I been otherwise occupied when she’s come into town? Seriously, what gives? I mean I live so close to the forest, and I don’t see our zebra resident from the forest?

I’d take a little excursion into the Everfree Forest to introduce myself, but everypony seems to have an excuse to prevent me from going visit her so I can at least say ‘hi.’ Is it really asking too much to even get directions? I’d ask Twilight to go today, but there’s the snowstorm that was planned for once. It’s not bad enough to prevent me from going out, but it’s enough to deter most ponies from leaving their homes.

I see Rarity a lot more now; she keeps bringing me new clothes to try on the days after the weather gets bad. I also see Lyra like clockwork every other Thursday still; we’ve gone into religions now. Twilight I see nearly every day, I swear she should just move in at this point. Rainbow’s a little different than Twilight, I see her every day at work. She always swings by after she’s done with weather duty to check in with me about any plans later on or just to hang out.

This brings me to the crusaders, I started showing them Friendship is Magic in the hopes of making them get the hint, but it hasn’t been working. Thanks to one particular episode though, I had to keep an eye on them zip lining one chilly day in November. If you hadn’t figured it out, it ended in tree sap. Lots of tree sap. Despite how much help I’d get, I was still getting the stuff out of my hair a week later. Well, I should get back to the snowstorm ridden day.

*****

“For the last time Applebloom,” I told the filly. “You’re special talent isn’t looking at ponies adorably innocently.”

“Really,” she replied with wide, tear swelling eyes and a sad tone to her voice.

“I thought you figured that one out last week when you tried for the eleventh time.”

I know Pinkie’s at the point of throwing an “It’s About Time” party when they do get their cutie marks. She’d never call it that but that’s not the point. We all agreed that episodes might be the best way to teach them their approach is horrible. When I said ‘we’ I meant Applejack, Rarity, Twilight, and I.

I’ve yet to see results and we’re on Hearts and Hooves Day today. I mean, I’m running out of episodes here, and it’s infuriating. I haven’t even touched season three. In fact, I’m not even sure I can really get youtube properly on this side. As I’ve mentioned, the TV only gets the Weather Channel and iTunes doesn’t convert bits into iTunes credit. Before you ask, I have no way of getting my credit cards to work either; I tried to set that up on week one. Might be something about never being able to bill me with success, but that’s just my theory. With only nine episodes left, I’m inclined to bust out a dry erase board and list out why Sweetie should pursue singing and why Scootaloo needs to focus less on why she’s not Rainbow Dash. Personally, I think getting those two in line will help Applebloom figure out that she’s just as much of a creative pony as a good leader. She just needs some confidence.

“Let me ask you something Scootaloo,” I said after calming her down a little. “How capable are you on your scooter?” I thought it was a fair question for rarely seeing her in action. I’m so swamped after work I don’t often see her zooming around.

“She’s awesome on it,” squealed Applebloom.

“And trick wise?”

“Well, I can do some tricks,” Scootaloo replied bashfully.

I gave her a skeptical look. “Like what exactly?”

“Mostly jumps, but a few kinda technical things like spins and I did this flip one time.”

“More like a barrel roll,” clarified Applebloom.

I had my thinking face on. “So why don’t you try more tricks? I think you sound like you have the makings of a technique flyer. Like not just big stunts and tricks like the Sonic Rainboom or how Rainbow keeps trying to see how close she can get to the ground before leveling off and maintaining her momentum, but cool things in their own right.” It was hard not calling it ‘chicken,’ she gets that enough at school right now and I just don’t want it to follow her here.

“Might help if I could fly,” she replied bluntly.

“Let me get to my master scheme Scootaloo. You can practice some things on the scooter and then work parts into flying moves later on.” I was starting to think skateboards and Scootaloo. It could be epic and/or disastrous. “You’re a little like Rainbow, in the fact that you’re also a filly that lets her actions speak for her.”

She gave me an ear-to-ear grin from comparing her to Rainbow Dash in a good way.

“Have I made myself clear Scootaloo?”

She gave me a vigorous nod. “If I can do that do you think I can do both at the same time?”

“Slow down a little Scootaloo, you don’t want to do too much all at once.”

“So,” said Sweetie Belle nervously, “do you have any other advice?”

“Sweetie, can you please sing a little for us,” I chanced. I’ve never really had much luck with her. I can nudge Scootaloo in the right direction from time to time. Applebloom’s willing to get any advice. Regardless of my lack of a cutie mark, she listens, hoping to get some nugget of information from my words. Sweetie Belle, well she’s completely different.

“I don’t think I should,” she replied shyly.

“Why’s that Sweetie Belle?” I was trying my best to sound supportive, but I’ve tried to learn from my own mistakes. Encouraging Sweetie Belle is about forty percent walking on eggshells, twenty percent luring her into your idea, ten percent praying she goes along with your idea, and thirty percent pure luck. Unfortunately, I seemed to hit bad luck more often than not.

“What if I’m no good?”

I smiled as warmly as I could muster. “It’s only the four of us here; we won’t say anything outside this meeting okay?”

“Well I suppose I-” she was cut off by a knock at the door.

I groaned and got up to go answer it, it was the closest I’d gotten since I first tried to get them going. It wasn’t a Thursday, which eliminated Lyra for the most part. I didn’t have any plans with Twilight or Rainbow, but Twilight’s getting a little harder to predict. Rainbow’s a little different; she’s been around so frequently that I wouldn’t put it past her. It could be Applejack or Rarity, coming to collect the little fillies. That’s right, Rarity going out in a snowstorm and it wouldn’t be the first time since I came here.

Those were the plausible suspects aside from Pinkie Pie; she’s a completely different category on her own. I had all of Ponyville to consider at some point or another knocking at my door so it was hard to give a good guess.

*****

It pleased me to see Rainbow at the door, who looked like she fought a snow mound and lost terribly. Her mane was disheveled in a way that I had only seen once before: the one time on Earth where she attempted to play with an electric socket.

“Did somepony forget how to land,” I asked her.

“Did someone know that there’s a lot of ice on his hill,” she retorted.

That explains the mane, I thought. “Come in, but be warned I have a pack of fillies here.”

“A three pack,” she asked as she came inside.

“A three pack,” I replied dryly. “So what brings you here today?”

“You mean aside from not seeing you yesterday?”

“Do you have any idea how often I end up foalsitting?”

“Yeah, but it takes up a lot of us time, like the all three of us kinda us.”

“Well-”

“Hey crusaders look,” Scootaloo interrupted, “it’s Rainbow Dash!”

Rainbow gave a weak chuckle and smiled at the filly. “How’s it going Scoots? Giving Al a hard time?”

“Nah,” she replied casually. “He’s great to come and visit what’cha here for?”

“I’d like a private moment with Al here.”

I turned to see the three waiting. “Sorry girls, we can continue talking when this is over okay?”

Though they looked sad, they nodded in agreement and went back to the living room.

“They actually listen to you,” Rainbow asked skeptically after they had left.

I gave her a smile. “I’m good with those three; at least I think I am. They want their cutie marks and they know I’m being productive when I’m helping them. Come on; let’s go up to the study, I’m sure you’ll agree it’s getting warm in there around this time of the year.”

*****

Rainbow closed the door behind her and waited calmly for me to sit down before scooting up beside me. “So what did you wanna say?”

“Well, I know we’ve talked about it but if it means so much I think it’s a good time. Why don’t you move in?”

“I’ve said it a million times Al, do you know what the market is for cloudhouses? I mean, it’s not like we’re in Cloudsdale or something. Besides, won’t Twilight see it as me trying to butt her outta the group?”

“You know she and I have been talking about moving too.”

“I know, it’s not like we’re all keeping the ‘move in with Al’ thing secret from each other. I’ve got a lot of memories in that place and there’s no way I’ll get a good price if I can even sell the thing.”

“Dashie, there’s what, at least a hundred pegasi in Ponyville?”

“Actually, it’s only like 80-something.”

“Even so, don’t a lot of them live groundside?”

“Well yeah but-”

“What about Thunderlane and Blossomforth, they’re together.”

“Don’t forget about Rumble, he’s not up to a trip like that every day till he grows up some more.”

“Flitter’s groundside too isn’t she?”

“She’s dating a unicorn.”

“Well,” I tapped a finger against my chin for a little, “how about Airheart?”

“She’s asked for an okay price, I mean she’s with Blue Skies right now so I guess I could hammer out a deal with them.”

“Then how about you get ready to move out so you can have it look more presentable for a proper showing?”

Rainbow shifted around and stared at me. “You mean it? Have me now?”

“Have you now,” I repeated.

“We’re gonna have to tell Twilight. She’s gotta know I don’t wanna do this cause I wanna get a hoof up on her. She’s gotta know I’m just ready to move in already.” She squealed excitedly and gave me a hug. “I’ll just zip home and get packing! We’ll tell Twilight after that’s all done and borrow the balloon so we can move everything faster.”

I didn’t even get a chance to hug her back as she zoomed downstairs. I simply rolled my eyes as I heard the front door slam close. I mean I’ve seen a lot of spontaneity from pegasi before, but Rainbow was like a sugar rush with wings at times. I’ve never ever brought up why she does that. I’ve always feared that she’ll take offense and want to duck out of things.

15 - Calling in Reinforcements

I remained there, wondering, planning, waiting for Scootaloo to barge in and ask what Rainbow and I were talking about. I wasn’t met with the last of these, which vexed me even more. I thought I could understand the crusaders enough to ferret out Scootaloo’s actions at least ninety percent of the time, but I suppose that my mind also had the concept of what Rainbow Dash would consider “packing up” as.

I picked myself up and checked outside. The storm had been settling and my mind was transfixed on an agenda. “Girls,” I called as I headed back downstairs, “I think it’s time you headed off to the farm.”

Hats, scarves and the three fillies trying to open the closet were what awaited me when I got to the front door. I simply rolled my eyes and gave them a hand so I could fetch my coat, gloves, and Rarity’s most recent scarf. It was a strange thing really; she started to work both Dash and Twilight into some stuff with this scarf being no exception. She tried to fade a purple half into a cyan one and I thought she did a good job, while she fretted over it every second as she gave it to me. “We’re going out to Fluttershy’s first, but then it’s off to Sweet Apple Acres okay?”

“So, why are we going to see Fluttershy first,” asked Sweetie Belle.

“It’s about what Rainbow and I talked about,” I said plainly. Almost as soon as we left my house however, I learned exactly what Dash meant by a lot of ice.

“You okay Al,” called Scootaloo from the front door.

I gave them a thumbs up from my place on the ground. “Shoulda listened to Rainbow but I’m okay.”

It was a painstakingly slow process down the hill, but Applebloom’s nearly all terrain hoof skills helped guide the other crusaders and me to the dirt road that led in one direction towards Fluttershy’s, the other into town.

*****

“Fluttershy,” I called as I rapped my hand against the door. “Fluttershy, the storm’s over and we need to have a little talk.”

“She’s on her way,” called Sweetie Belle as she skirted around the house. She and her fellow crusaders quickly came into view.

“Good hustle girls,” I told them encouragingly. “Just remember I-”

“Don’t condone this stuff on a regular basis,” finished Applebloom. “You’ve told us a million times now an’ Ah know we should know better.”

“If we should know better then why do we still do it,” harped Scootaloo.

“Cause we’re gullible,” answered Sweetie Belle nervously.

“The show really sells that doesn’t it?”

“Ah think it shows we’re never gonna get our cutie marks,” squealed Applebloom.

“Now, now girls,” I said as I tried to remain calm, “you’ll get your cutie marks. You just need some patience. These sorts of things take time.” My ears perked at the slow opening of the front door.

“Um yes,” agreed Fluttershy from the tiny sliver of exposed doorframe. “Can I help you with something Alex?”

“Having trouble facing me Fluttershy,” I asked her back.

“Um no, it’s just that it’s really cold outside. I don’t really feel like going out and doing anything.”

“Well, I kinda wanted as much help as I could get. See it’s like this, Rainbow’s gonna try to sell her house and move down and into my place. We’re gonna need help moving things and I was wondering if you’d at least help her pack things up.”

Much to my surprise the door fully opened, revealing the demure pegasus with a scarf and boots already on. “You can count on me Alex.”

“Why do I get the feeling you’ve been rehearsing this?”

“Oh, I’ve um… I hoped you would ask them soon. If Twilight needs some help, I’ll be more than happy to help her too. Right now, I’ll go and help Rainbow Dash pack up.”

“Thanks,” I told her awkwardly. I only intended for Fluttershy to help because I’d need Twilight for a cloudwalking spell or a pair of those gossamer wings but I know how much she’d yell at me about some sort of favoritism. This train of thought would be coming from the unicorn who got me a set of How to Please Your Mare books so who could say anymore?

“Thanks a bunch Fluttershy, I hope to see you soon.”

“Well, what are you going to do Alex?”

“Drop these three off and see if I can get help for moving Twilight of course.” I smiled as she slipped outside and closed the door behind her. “I need to be responsible and considerate of both of them Fluttershy.”

“Good,” she said calmly. “Be good or you’ll have to answer to momma Fluttershy.”

Her tone hadn’t changed but it sent chills down my back. I stood there, frozen in my fear of ‘momma Fluttershy’ would do to me as she flew off towards the skyward home.

“Ah think she broke him,” commented Applebloom.

“She scared me,” I said bleakly. “Let’s go before I catch cold in my fear.” My first few steps from Fluttershy’s doormat were stiff but I soon regained my stride as the crusaders and I went off towards town.

*****

We stopped every few feet after Sweet Apple Acres came into view; something was following us. “How long’s this going to keep going Applebloom,” I asked the eager filly.

“Ah don’t know, but it’s creepin me out too.”

Scootaloo peered back from behind my legs. “Hey Pinkie Pie,” she called.

“Shh, Alley isn’t supposed to know,” the party pony practically yelled back.

I was restraining as much as I could to spin around and yell at Pinkie now that I knew she was the culprit. “Pinkie!”

“Um oopsie?”

I turned to glare at her. “Don’t ‘oopsie’ me Pinkamena Diane Pie.”

“Please don’t be mad with her,” pleaded Scootaloo. “It’s my fault too Alex.”

My anger boiled over into an idea. “I’ll forgive you both if Pinkie does something for me,” I said with a grin ripe with a cruel plot.

“What’s the plan Alley,” she asked me eagerly.

I started to head back towards my intended destination, causing everyone to follow along. “Head into town and nab Rarity’s help. We’re moving Twilight and Rainbow in. All of us need to have a talk too.”

“You sure Alley? I mean, you guys are ready for it?”

“Ready or not, Rainbow’s moving in. If Twilight doesn’t want to then she at least needs to know Rainbow’s moving in today.”

“Gotcha, I’ll get Rarity and we’ll meet you at the library.”

“And I’ll see if AJ is willing to help as well. If we’re moving Twilight in or not we still have to have a talk, best not to startle all of our friends.”

“Oooh, sounds good Alley, see you soon.” Pinkie gave me a wave and darted off towards town.

“Sooo, Rainbow Dash is gonna be staying with you now Alex,” asked Scootaloo.

“That’s right Scootaloo, but I don’t want you to just up and visit cause she’s living with me. I think she’d consider it a little rude after a while, after her ego’s swollen enough.”

“After whose ego is swollen enough,” called a voice from the farmhouse. I’d hardly realized just how far we’d been going both with and without Pinkie nearby.

“Well, part of the reason we’re here AJ,” I called back. “Rainbow’s moving in and I’d like a helping hoof in case Twilight wants to move in too. Feel like helping out?”

“Ah don’t know, Big Mac’s in town gettin some supplies and it’s just me an’ Granny Smith here. Maybe if you three decide to act a little civilized around her then Ah can.”

*****

After a little begging, a dash of pleading, and the assurance that the three fillies could use some time cuddled up near a fire if we conversed for too long AJ was more than willing to come along.

“So, stuff’s goin all right,” Applejack asked me as we started heading into town.

“That it is AJ,” I replied pleasantly. “Rainbow’s trying to find a buyer for her house but right now, she’s moving in.”

“So you’re enlistin me for what now?”

“Well, I think we all need to sit down and talk about something as a group. I mean there’s some stuff the three of us should share with the rest of you and I think we should before it happens rather than after. That said, I think when I go and tell Twilight that Dashie’s moving in she might also want to move in. I mean, we’ve been talking about it for a while and-”

“Sounds like a tough call Alex. Ah mean you’re lettin Rainbow in and just tellin Twilight now? Why aren’t you all talking about it in your little group meetings?”

“AJ, we’ve all been talking about it for a while and I think it’s about time. Dash came and visited me already, so let’s see how Twilight takes it. If she wants or needs help moving I wanted to get as much help as I could.”

“Do I look like some movin pony to you?”

“No AJ, you look like a friend who I can count on when you want to know the truth about something. I mean did you even flinch when you first heard that the three of us were trying to make the whole relationship work?”

“To be honest, I gave ya a week before everythin would fall apart.”

Hearing her say that made my heart sink a little.

“Now, Ah think you three are good for each other. It’ll work an you don’t have to be a genius to see that.”

I smiled broadly, hearing her sound confident was far better. “How about we go and meet up with Pinkie and Rarity then.”

“What about Fluttershy? Is she helpin Rainbow?”

“Yep, the rest of us aren’t able to walk on clouds so it made the most sense.”

“Then when we’re all done, you wanna talk about some stuff right?”

I looked out in front of us, seeing Pinkie waving her hoof excitedly outside of Carousel Boutique. “Exactly.”

16 - Rainbow Dash: Define 'Packing'

The demure pegasus chose to forego the front door and landed on an upper balcony, knowing full well that her friend would be in full packing swing. It was best to avoid an errant box filled with who-knows-what.

“Rainbow Dash,” she called as she let herself in, “Alex asked me to give you a helping hoof. Um, is there anything I can do?”

“Yeah,” called a voice from downstairs, “can you bring down that box marked ‘Do Not Open’ that’s on my bed?”

Upon hearing the words of the box, Fluttershy couldn’t help but fear the very contents of such a thing. “O-O-Okay.” Hesitantly, she flew through the cloudhouse’s second floor and halted at the threshold of her friend’s bedroom. There lurked the simple white box with the warning on it. After taking a hard gulp and deep breath, Fluttershy reached out her forelegs for the box and gingerly brought it downstairs.

There were dozens of boxes, each carefully labeled. Their contents ranged from ‘Books’ to ‘Daring Do’ and ‘Wonderbolts’ but the sheer fact that everything was marked and neat seemed almost alien to Fluttershy. I expected her to be really messy, she thought. “Rainbow Dash, is everything okay?”

“No,” the daredevil replied quickly, “I mean yes, I mean, I’ve been packed for a while. Put that over here, next to the Wonderbolts box.”

“How long is ‘a while,’” Fluttershy asked as she rested the box where she was told to.

“Um, five weeks,” replied Rainbow hesitantly.

“That’s… weeks? You’ve been prepared to do this for five weeks?”

“Well, yeah. I was just waiting on Al to give the okay about it.” She put a hoof to her chin. “I wonder how long Twilight’s been packed. I bet she didn’t need so long, she’s always so organized. Gonna have ’ta remember not to make a big mess after I move in. Then there’s that box,” she glared at the box Fluttershy brought down. “Dunno how Al’s gonna take it.”

“Rainbow Dash everypony has needs,” Fluttershy told her calmly.

“What? Eww no, those are in the trash. Why am I gonna need them when I’ve got the real thing in bed with me?”

“Because he isn’t yours exclusively,” Fluttershy suggested.

“He’ll share the love. He’ll be good to both of us. Just hope Spike’s got some earplugs or something. Know what I mean?”

Fluttershy’s face flushed. “You know I haven’t had a serious relationship for a while.”

Rainbow snickered. “But I heard you’re quite the screamer.”

Fluttershy backed up a little, her face going chalk white. “How did you hear about that?”

“Uh, from my bedroom. Seriously Fluttershy, I had to shove clouds in my ears cause of you that one night.”

“Really? I’m sorry Rainbow Dash, but I couldn’t help it, he was just so good.”

“Um, gross Fluttershy. I know we’re friends but I don’t wanna hear about your bad luck with guys.”

“Actually, I broke up with him. This isn’t like when I visited Braeburn.”

“Yeah, AJ wasn’t too happy about that was she?”

“Getting her cousin to break off something so perfect was just mean.”

“Ugh, it was for your own good. Fluttershy, you’re just terrible at seeing stuff like that. You could do better than somepony who wanted to drag you so far away from your animals.”

“I guess.”

“On top of that, you wouldn’t see any of us. What if things didn’t work out and you’d already have moved into someplace in Appleloosa?”

“Well I-”

Rainbow pulled Fluttershy into a hug with a foreleg. “We’re just trying to help Fluttershy. Gotta see the big picture sometimes.”

“Can you tell me what’s in the box?”

“Well-”

“Pretty please?”

Rainbow sighed. “You promise not to tell?”

“I promise.”

“Pinkie Promise?”

Fluttershy simply nodded.

“Kay, what’s in there is…”

17 - Earthbound

“So what is it we’re doing exactly,” Rarity asked me as the five of us walked towards the library.

“Well, I feel like we need to clear the air a little,” I told her. “I also have to tell Twilight that Rainbow’s moving in.”

Even from the corner of my eye I could see her mischievous smirk. “Trouble in paradise?”

“No, just want to tell her and ask if she’ll follow suit.”

“So Alley’s getting us to help if she wants to,” Pinkie added cheerfully.

“You don’t think,” Rarity paused, “there’s no way you could expect me to… why no that’s silly. Twilight moving out of the library, it’s just-just silly.”

“Probably will happen,” I said confidently. “Afraid you’ll get dirty,” I added with a smug glance of my own.

“Why no, no of course not. In fact, I have no reason to doubt that if she wants to Twilight we be ready faster than we can expect.”

Pinkie’s spontaneity got the better of Rarity’s comeback as she burst into a fit of giggling. “Dirty… Rarity,” she managed to get out before doubling over a second time.

I simply smiled, if she had been preparing it, she would’ve been voicing it a bit more. If she was ready then I wouldn’t mind being pleasantly surprised. “Twilight might panic, feel rushed, try to make a list, get Spike to get busy packing while she double checks things, beg me to explain why I put her on th-” My list was cut short by smacking face first into something very hard that was visible just as I collided with it. “Ouch.”

“Ew, you alright,” Applejack asked me.

I quickly checked, everything was still in place save for an oozing liquid from my nose. “Bloody nose, it’s nothing special. Now, was I not paying attention to where I was going or was that not there a second ago?”

“Ah didn’ see it but how about you scoot yer caboose, might’ve been there the whole time.”

I was more than happy to comply. As I stepped away, all I saw was the smear of blood, hanging eerily in the air. “Well that’s… disturbing.”

“Only if you stare at it,” confirmed Pinkie. “Now everypony stand back, we’re gonna need to speak to Twilight and I’m gonna be brilliant!”

I only had to hear those last words to escalate to a terrified state of mind. “She’s not gonna give us a second warning, duck for cover!”

Nobody really needed a warning, ducking behind anything that seemed like it would provide some form of cover. It did however; help clear the area more than anything could. With Rarity ducking behind a large planter and both AJ and me running around a corner, Pinkie was free to execute her plan.

I peered around the corner and saw her party cannon being carefully aimed towards the library. “First I add few streamers,” Pinkie sang to herself, “now a little confetti and a hat or two…” Next to the cannon were a few small barrels, each with their own unusual label. “Hmm, gonna need more than that.” My eyes swelled and I darted back behind the corner. Pinkie had disregarded adding ingredients carefully in favor of forcing whole barrels into the party cannon.

“Bad,” Applejack asked me.

“Cover your ears.”

*****

A few streets away…

“Bon Bon,” called Lyra from the living room couch, “how’s dinner coming?”

Bon Bon glared out the window, refusing to accept how lazy Lyra was being. “How about you go out to Sugarcube Corner or something, it’ll be a while still.”

“Is there anyth-”

“Not at all,” the earth pony quickly interrupted. “Just go out and enjoy a cupcake or something.”

Lyra sighed. “Alright, want me to get you anything?”

“I’m fine.”

“Kay,” Lyra said as she opened the door, “see you soon.”

“Don’t forget your rent’s due next week,” Bon Bon called after the lyricist as the front door slammed shut. “Free at last,” she told herself with a contented sigh.

Lyra locked the door, adjusted her scarf, and started making her way towards the main road. “Pass the library, say hi to Twilight, then go see what the Cakes have got…”

*****

Up in the sky…

Rainbow Dash’s front door slammed open as she flew out with a box between her forelegs and a second on her back. “Come on Fluttershy, we gotta get moving!”

“I’m on my way Rainbow Dash,” the demure mare replied. Fluttershy nervously flew out of the cloudhouse’s threshold and tailed her friend on their way towards Alex’s house.

I really hope we can get over there before I gotta explain my little box here, Rainbow thought as she glanced to the ‘Do Not Touch’ box between her forelegs. No doubt Twi will think it’s really weird. Just hope Al doesn’t mind it much. Yeah, that’s what really counts.

*****

Ground zero…

Applejack and I managed to drag Rarity back with us as Pinkie started to count down at a haphazard pace.

“I can’t believe she managed to stuff that last one in,” yelled Rarity as she tried to pierce our muffled ears.

I nodded my head and caught a glimpse of a minty green pony down the road. “Lyra,” I called, “take cover!”

She glanced to me, looked towards the party pony, and dove for cover.

Along with the sound of… well a cannon, not something anyone expected from the confetti-spewing device, we felt the shockwave of the overloaded party weapon. “Kay, safe now,” called Pinkie.

I peeked around the corner and saw a bit of everything scattered in every direction and a pink haze surrounding Pinkie and her party cannon. Hesitantly I came out in the open and proceeded into the haze.

What met me was Pinkie, her body covered in streamers and glitter while her face was flattened against the magical barricade. “I see some stuff over there.”

I put my face against the barrier as well and tried to make out what Pinkie was talking about. “I think I see a rubber chicken. You see one?”

“I don’t remember packing a canoe,” she replied.

“What about the toboggan?”

“I remember that one Alley. It was super hard to stuff in and I had to leave it sticking out. You see the cake?”

“Yeah, how did that survive intact?”

Pinkie simply giggled in reply as everyone else joined us in the gradually clearing pink smoke.

“Cool crack in Twilight’s magic,” commented Lyra as she pointed a hoof at the gash in Twilight’s magical field. She traced the crack that you could barely shove a bit through. “Man, so even Princess Celestia’s prized student has her limits. Nice job Pinkie.”

“Well, I didn’t want to outdo Twilight but she’s gotta let us in. We have stuff to talk about and everypony’s gotta get in for that to happen.”

“Oooh, can I come along?”

I weighed the possibility of what Lyra would do if she knew everything. She’d freak out if she didn’t know come the first interview after whenever our plan would go off.

“What in the name of Luna’s moon is going on out here,” yelled Twilight from a window.

“We need to talk Twi,” I called back.

“What is it Alex?”

“Can we talk inside, you know, out of the cold and away from everyone in Ponyville?”

“Alright, I’ll come down and let you guys in.”

Lyra tugged on my sleeve with her magic and looked at me with big puppy dog eyes. “Please?”

“Alright,” I said as a hole appeared in Twilight’s barrier, “you can help.”

“Yes, wait, what do you mean by saying that I can help?”

I smirked as I advanced on the library’s door. “All will be made clear…”

*****

Inside the library, everything was neat and tidy. In fact, I’ve never seen it this clean. I could chalk messiness up to Twilight searching for something from time to time or the occasional book checked out. It was just… alien to see it this clean.

“Listen here,” she snapped at me, “I’m trying to pack up and you come here with our friends to talk? What could we possibly have to talk about now?”

I gave her a stone cold glare. “We have to tell them about our visit from Luna. I want to be a better person than keeping something that careful from our friends.” I chose to ignore her comment about packing right now; I’d address that next.

“I know what you’re talking about but I’m a little busy here.”

“Then explain to me why you’re packing Twi.”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m moving.”

I could hear it echoing in my ears constantly. My face went blank and I just stood there expressionless, like somepony drained the life from me. “Where,” I asked in a faint, deadpan voice.

“Oh I just hope he’s willing to let me move in.”

“Who’s this ‘he’ you’re talking about?”

Twilight smirked. “Who do you think I’m talking about?”

I came over to her side and kneeled down to hug her tightly. “I’m really happy I brought everyone Twi.”

“Uh, I didn’t see Rainbow or Fluttershy with you.”

“Well, I was gonna tell you I offered Dashie to move in and she said yes.”

“So we’re all thinking the same thing,” she casually teleported out of my grip. “Then Fluttershy’s helping Rainbow get squared away and… Rainbow doesn’t have a key and you locked the door didn’t you?”

I shrugged. “It’s a force of habit and we’ll need to make a few spares. So, how do you want to move your things over?”

“Well, for now I’ll have to leave my lab equipment in the library so we’ll be moving books, some clothes, and a few other things. I don’t think it should take too long.”

“Sounds good, care to dish out assignments?”

“Sure thing, Spike I want you to bring me the copy of the Magical Compendium, Volumes 1 through 36. I want you to handle that Alex. Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie, Lyra, and I will take those saddlebags I’ve prepared and Spike, I want you to-”

“No sweat Twi, I’ve got my bag all packed,” the dragon said as he carted out an enormous book for me.

“Alright,” grumbled Twilight, “I guess I’ll pick up the slack.”

“I’ll take Spike’s bag,” I said as I heaved the book into the air. “As long as it isn’t that heavy cause this thing feels like it weighs a ton.”

Spike tossed his bag over towards me. “It’s not that much,” he commented.

“Right,” said Twilight pleasantly, “so Spike you can get our pets then.”

Owlowiscious happily hooted at the order and flew down to roost on Spike’s head. This had the unfortunate side effect of making me snicker and make Spike scowl.

*****

By the time we reached the house, we saw Rainbow and Fluttershy clearing a path and a large stack of plain looking boxes. I appreciated the thought since we would be slipping and sliding a bit without one.

Rainbow caught sight of me and tossed her shovel into a large pile of snow. “So why did you lock us out?”

“Cause I always lock the door,” I said as I started up their pathway. “Everything’s here then?”

“Of course, and I even talked to Airheart about seeing the place next week. She’s happy she’ll see it without my stuff everywhere but I’ll have to head up there so I can clean it up a bit more.”

“Sounds good, we’ve got most of Twi’s stuff. Lend a hoof and do what she asks kay?”

“We’ll be all moved before you know it.” She flew back to the end of our little train and looked to Twilight. “What’cha want me to get?”

“I’ve got a nice case with my dresses back in my room, how about you get those Rainbow?” As Dash flew off, Fluttershy came in for her own assignment. As I set Twilight’s massive magical manual down I looked back and didn’t hear what Twilight asked the now beet red faced pegasus.

*****

It wasn’t long before everything was in the house and I stared at two mostly unremarkable containers in the master bedroom. The first was an ordinary box marked ‘Do Not Open’ and the other was a trunk with a large lock holding it shut. I could tell they both wanted something not to be mentioned, but I had no real clue what they were. I had helped lug the trunk up and heard the rustling of its contents, but what caused that eluded me. The box was far smaller and made no real sound so it was probably stuffed full. However, wondering about what secrets the duo wanted to keep was just stalling me from explaining to everyone what I wanted everyone assembled to talk about.

“-and that’s why I think everyone should save their questions until the end,” I heard from the living room as I descended to the ground floor.

“Ugh, they know that,” harped Rainbow, “we’re just waiting on Al so enough with the lousy instructions already.”

“It’s not really her fault,” I said as I came into the room, “Twilight’s just a little antsy Dashie.” I calmly took my seat and waited for both Twilight and Dash to take theirs.

In a way, it felt like we were back on Earth. Everyone was sitting exactly where they used to and attention felt drawn to me, even when I didn’t want it. “So, a few weeks ago Princess Luna visited me. We started talking and she left to get Twilight and Rainbow while I made dinner for the four of us.”

“Yes, I recall seeing Princess Luna,” interrupted Rarity. “Applebloom pointed her out as she left the library.”

“Hey yeah, I saw her and Rainbow Dash on their way over Bon Bon’s place,” added Lyra.

“Ladies,” harped Rainbow as Fluttershy’s mouth opened, “let Al finish.”

I gave Rainbow a curt nod and decided how to approach the situation. “Anyways, over dinner we, that is to say Twilight, Rainbow, and I, listened to what Princess Luna had to say. The short version of it is, the three of us agree that a family would be nice and we’d have to adopt to well follow through with that unless we took a few steps to adjust things.”

“What Alex means is that he’s going to become a pony,” Twilight explained.

“What,” Lyra yelled. “When? How? Why?”

“We’re waiting for details from Princess Luna.”

“But-But my book!”

“We can still work on the book,” I explained. “I just won’t, you know, have hands. Or toes… and I’ll have a tail.”

“No! Why?”

“Lyra,” I tried not to raise my voice. “Lyra, I’m doing this for only partially selfish reasons. I mean, let’s face it, I don’t think you can imagine how hard explaining things several times to an adopted filly or colt about the differences between them and dad.”

“You’d be a great dad Alley,” Pinkie said.

“Well we all agreed that foals would be nice,” Rainbow admitted. “That would mean foals of our own Pinkie.”

“But,” Lyra hesitated, “human. Proof! Why?!”

“Does Twilight Sparkle have to rough a filly up,” screamed Twilight as she glared at Lyra. “Well? Does she?”

“Twilight, down,” I chided, “count to ten or something.”

Her glare softened as she glanced towards me, probably silently counting to herself.

“Thanks Alex,” Lyra said with a sigh.

“I didn’t do that for you Lyra,” I told her tersely, “Twilight shouldn’t get her hooves dirty due to your greed. You want evidence and you want me to sacrifice my future. I won’t let that happen because my future won’t be as a human. I want a future with a family, Princess Luna gave us a solution and I am very appreciative of her desire to help.”

Pinkie raised her hoof and I nodded at her. “So, what’re you gonna be then Alley?”

“We don’t know,” replied a far calmer Twilight. “Princess Luna said we won’t know until it’s resolved.”

“Feeling better Twi,” I asked her. All she did to reply was nod. “Are there any other questions?”

“How will you handle things like unicorn magic or flying,” asked Fluttershy.

“We’ve got that covered,” replied Rainbow and Twilight simultaneously.

“Uh I actually have a question,” managed Spike. “I mean, does this mean that Alex, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and me are all a family now?”

I hesitated, on the verge of just saying yes, but I saw the same expression of confused reason on Twilight’s face. I slowly looked around to everyone, some were curious while others seemed a little confused towards answering Spike’s question. Not to be like everyone else, Pinkie simply smiled like it was an obvious question with an obvious answer.

“It’s a little more complicated than that Spike,” I said once my jaw decided to work properly. “It’s more complicated but, yes, it makes us a family.”

“Might miss having my head in the clouds all the time,” commented Rainbow, “but I need to keep my hooves on the ground for the four of us.”

“Just be ready for a walk to work every morning Spike,” reminded Twilight with a giggle.

18 - The Mare From the Moon

“Hey,” called a voice, “you awake Al?”

Slowly my eyes creaked open, revealing a prismatic haze before me. “What’s going on?” My head was pounding, but it was far more manageable than it could’ve been.

“I uh,” Rainbow cleared her throat, “I wanna get up and you’re using me as a pillow.”

That explains a few things, I thought as I got off of her. As I looked around the bed there was no sign of Twilight. “Where’s Twi?”

“She doesn’t wanna get out of the bathroom,” she explained. “She’s not listening to me or Spike so hope ya can do better. Good night all things considered.” She hopped down and checked her wings over quickly. “Oh yeah and Spike had a letter for you, left it on the nightstand.”

I stretched and kept my eyes on Rainbow as she trotted over to the mirror, but what caught my eyes were the lacy, cream colored, thigh high socks on her hind legs.

“Like what you see,” asked Rainbow as she caught my glare in the mirror.

“Trying to remember last night a bit more is all.”

“Yeah well we did drink a bit, nothing like back on Earth, but still… there’s everything else so I can imagine wanting to wrap your head around it better.”

I kinda remembered the wine, the movies, a few dirty jokes. As I continued to put the previous night back together it finally dawned on me…

~~~~~

A handful of hours earlier…

“Got a question Al,” said a merrily intoxicated Rainbow. “Bronies and drinking, what gives with that stuff?”

“That’s just a cheap joke,” answered Twilight from my other side. “Alex would never take advantage of us like that.”

Rainbow got up on her hind legs and wrapped her forelegs around my neck before sticking her tongue out at Twilight. “Wanna make the joke right tonight Al?”

“Hey, shouldn’t you wait until he’s a pony?”

“Oh don’t be such a stick in the mud Twi, we’re adults, we live together, let’s get down and dirty already. ‘Sides thought you were sending signals all the time we had that picnic we had before it got super cold.”

“Fine,” she grumbled, “you’re getting a purging spell before we get upstairs though.”

“Wait, you wanna wait til we’re upstairs before doin it? Why not just strip him and get to it right here?”

Twilight responded by hoisting Rainbow with her magic. “Spike’s bedroom is right above us. There’s no need to wake him up if we can’t dive under the covers.”

~~~~~

Rainbow waved her hoof in front of my face. “Remember Twi’s spell?”

“Something like making us more aware of stuff despite drinking right? I mean she made sure none of us were under the influence after casting it on you.” Last night was something that was interesting, the kind of interesting where words don’t do any justice.

“Mmm-hm,” Rainbow replied as she pulled one of her socks off. “Think it’s strange? You know my socks and stuff.”

“Not as much as Twi’s stuff.”

“Yeah, what gives with all that junk?” Both of us peered over to the open chest and the saddle hanging out of it with ‘Sparkle’ written out in amethysts. “Kinda thought she’d be a bit more, ya know, not into kinky stuff.” She grabbed her remaining sock between her teeth and pulled it off.

“Yeah, well what’s so kinky about socks and panties?”

Rainbow replied with a deadpan stare, her sock now cast aside. “Entice what’s being covered up. Sides, you didn’t seem to mind. Brings me back to my question, do you like what you see?”

“I’d like it a little more if you and Twilight were acting a bit like last night.”

As Rainbow’s face went red, I heard an unmistakable ‘eeep’ from in the bathroom.

“We uh, well we were drinking,” Dash tried to explain away. “Sure, I kinda egged Twilight to go along but the alcohol or something was gettin us to think all sortsa things. Besides you weren’t being all prudish either, encouraging us and stuff.”

I snickered, knowing most of that was BS. “How about you get to breakfast while I try and get Twilight out of the bathroom?”

Rainbow gave a weak chuckle. “No sweat.” She got up and trotted out of the room, but not before giving a fake stretch at the door. “Spike’s off running some errands so I’ll just clean up after eating.”

*****

After grabbing my boxers and the letter, I slunk out of bed and over to the bathroom door. “Twi,” I asked to the door as I sat in front of it.

“Yes,” she replied meekly from the other side.

“So… riding crops and saddles eh?”

“I’m weird aren’t I?”

“It’s okay Twi but you want to experiment already?”

“Uh-huh, I want to know what’s comfortable for all of us and what’s going too far.”

“But a jewel studded saddle with your name on it? Are you sure that’s just an ‘experiment’ Twi?”

“If you were okay with it then why not be a little personalized?” I could hear her nervously clopping her hooves together. “Should I have been all secretive about a box crammed with socks and panties like Rainbow?”

I smirked to the bedroom. “You know I didn’t mean that.”

“Would you rather stuff like that?”

“Dashie’s right, it’s really suggestive so it’s nice foreplay fodder. Do someponies see clothes like that?”

“I guess so, but most ponies think it’s proper to be dressed for important occasions. Personally, I like the idea of a dress for formal things, but for everyday things it's just something I don’t think I’d enjoy.”

“I think the saddle was a bit too much Twi, could get behind the crop though. In my defense, you did keep telling me to ‘go harder’ Twi.”

“I know and I still have a few marks showing that, I just know Spike will ask about them.”

“Like how he’d probably ask Rainbow why her cutie mark’s as ruffled up as it is?”

“She wasn’t just pulling my leg then? I should’ve listened to her and let her in so I could help.”

“So you didn’t ever give Spike the Talk then?”

“I tried to, but you know how he is when I talk for too long. I know he zoned out by the time I got to intimacy and how a couple can get when they’re feeling… you know… that way…”

“Feeling any better now?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Can I take my shower?”

I heard the door unlock and open to reveal Twilight’s flushed face. “I haven’t taken my bath yet. I’ve just been so embarrassed.”

“Do you want me to use another bathroom or do you want to share the bath?”

Twilight gulped hard. “You really mean it?”

I shrugged. “That too much right now Twilight?”

“N-No, I mean, Rainbow might be a little jealous.”

“Come on, what do you want?”

“I’ll run the bath, what’s in the letter Alex?”

I shrugged and opened it calmly.

Tonight, same time,
Luna

“Luna’s visiting again; I think she’s got a plan.”

*****

After the bath, I sat there on the bed in silence. Luna was returning, hopefully with a plan hatched. Then there was last night, something so indescribably awesome that I have no words that would do it justice.

“Twilight,” I said as I looked over to her.

“Thanks for not doing anything in the tub,” she replied as she brushed her mane.

Tell her, mouthed my reflection as it peeked out from above her.

“Hey Twi, can I ask you about something?”

“Yeah,” she replied absently.

“Well, I have this little problem. I’m not really sure how to explain it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m having this weird thing with my reflection. It keeps talking to me, like I can even converse with it and everything.”

Twilight’s brush clacked against the floor. “When were you going to tell me about something like this? How long has it been happening?”

My reflection shrugged, causing me to roll my eyes at it. “I was going to tell you soon, but I never figured out how I could put it. It’s been happening since Canterlot I think.”

Twilight shot me a skeptical glare.

“It’s not like I’m glued to a mirror. I mean, I’m not Rarity.”

“It might be something residual, or it could be something concerning your biology reacting to Equestria. I’d run tests but Princess Luna is coming to visit.”

“Well, I know I should’ve told you sooner but well…”

Twilight turned to look at me. “Does your reflection give you advice?”

“I’d like to think it does, but it changes its attitude often. I mean like it will be calm then really lax, or sometimes super serious.”

“Hmmm, it might be your subconscious,” she suggested. “Like it’s just revealing itself in the mirror as a reaction to being in Equestria. I mean I don’t have any evidence to even form a theory so I’m just guessing.”

“She has a good point,” quipped the mirror.

“Well then,” I said plainly, “we should get dinner ready before Princess Luna arrives. I don’t have time for her to get you and Rainbow like last time.”

Twilight gave me a warm smile. “Do you have an idea for a menu?”

“I’ll want some fresher ingredients. I mean, I’m running low on some herbs. Do you think some place in town has saffron? I know I can get cinnamon from the Cakes.”

“We can go to Zecora’s, she might have some of what you need. Right now though, we should head downstairs before Rainbow thinks we’re doing things without her.”

Let’s see dinner with Luna, trip to Zecora’s, awkward moments the day after, weirdest day so far, I know better than to say ‘ever.’ So long as Twilight doesn’t make me have to experiment with herbs I’m just fine.

*****

“So what do you need saffron for,” Rainbow asked as the three of us ventured into the Everfree Forest.

“I have a nice herbal tea blend,” I replied calmly, “but it needs saffron to balance it out. I don’t want to split hairs over it though. If I can’t get any then I can’t serve it tonight, nothing more to it. We could do a workaround and add a nice yellow chartreuse to our dining experience. I’d like some degree of saffron in the meal.”

“We aren’t going to be drinking tonight,” said Twilight sharply.

“It can’t keep forever Twilight and it’ll just be one glass each if even that much.”

“Well then what’s the cinnamon for?”

“I don’t need much so I’ll just get it in town. I mean Sugarcube Corner probably has some I can buy.”

Slowly the three of us argued down what I could barely call a path to a rather odd tree with several ceremonial masks. “Here we are,” Twilight said pleasantly as she continued to lead the way. “She probably won’t be startled by you; it’s rare to spook her. I actually think Princess Luna was the only pony to startle her, but that was on Nightmare Night so I’m not really sure if that counts.”

“That is very true,” came a calm voice from behind us, “I am not rattled as quickly as you.”

I turned to see the wise zebra returning home, Rainbow Dash trying to remain calm beside me. I have to admit, Zecora’s voice caused a chill to run up my spine. “Hello Zecora,” I said as calmly as I could, given my quick startle. “I’m Alex and-”

“We’ve just come by to ask if you have something,” Twilight asked as she cut me off.

“Yes,” I interjected calmly, “Twilight suggested that we check with you regarding saffron before trying to hunt it down in town.”

“I am sorry for you,” she replied with a sigh, “for without saffron I am too. An herbal blend I have today and a little of saffron would brighten its bouquet.”

I felt like, under any other circumstances, I could enjoy this beautiful irony but right now I wasn’t even smiling at the communal misfortune.

“Well, thanks anyways,” Rainbow said idly. “Let’s try and get some other stuff Al.”

As we headed back out of the forest, I heard Zecora call to us. “Best wishes to you my human friend, please visit soon for you do not offend!”

*****

Nearly to Sugarcube Corner I realized that I could deal with conversation in verse for only so long. It did make me a little sad not to be serving that particular blend, but I’d have to check it anyways. I think I’ve been saving a little too long.

“I’m still saying a liqueur is a bad idea,” Twilight said. “I mean last night started off as just a glass of wine.” She and Rainbow returned to the debate regarding the bottle of chartreuse at the edge of the forest and hasn’t stopped since.

“We got a touch of nostalgia last night Twilight,” Rainbow reminded her. “We’re better people than that I swear all I ask for is a single glass, and only if Luna’s okay with it.”

“So what happened last night Alley,” asked a chipper voice behind us.

Pinkie, I thought as I rolled my eyes. “I’d rather you don’t talk so loudly Pinkie, it’s private.”

Rainbow however whispered something in the party pony’s ear. Something that made her freeze up and turn bright red.

I was sure that Pinkie was capable of figuring out why we wanted to be quiet about it, but Rainbow was more than willing to tempt fate. “Can I ask you something though Pinkie,” I asked.

“Ask away,” she replied as she not only caught up to us, but also hopped alongside us. How she does that for any extended period is still beyond me.

“Does Sugarcube Corner have any cinnamon I can get? I mean I’m going to pay for it but we’re having important company and I’d like the meal to be perfect.”

“I think so, but you should ask Mrs. Cake if we can. Oh, and I had a question about the thing yesterday Alley.”

“What is it Pinkie,” asked Twilight, making sure she was still part of the conversation.

“Well it’s just that Alley’s fine how he is isn’t he?”

Rainbow nodded. “Was there something wrong with him fitting in or somethin? I mean as far as I can tell, everypony treats him pretty nice.”

“Nonono,” Pinkie replied quickly. “It’s just you’re okay with it? All of you are okay with it?”

“I don’t want to lie to you Pinkie,” I replied nervously, “there isn’t a part of me that isn’t. That’s more like hesitation. I am but,” I cranked my head around to look to Twilight and Rainbow, “I also feel like I kind of browbeat you two into it.”

Twilight just gave me a pleasant, supportive smile. “I’m just fine with you staying true to yourself Alex. Also, thank you for being honest about that.”

“Just don’t let it happen again,” added Rainbow smugly.

I felt relived, they could’ve chewed me out about that for quite a while now and I just felt the weight finally fall by the wayside. “Yeah, a little selfish of me to think about what’s right for our future without talking to you both about it first.”

“Princess Luna put you on the spot though didn’t she,” quipped Pinkie. This caused the three of us to stop dead in our tracks right on the sweetshop’s threshold.

“I never said that,” I said with a startled face.

“Oh come on Al,” Rainbow added as she tried to brush it off, “she’s just doing her thing.”

Twilight and I stifled a snicker and we went inside Sugarcube Corner, the warming feeling of the ovens in the back bringing some warmth back to my chilled face.

After that first moment of feeling some warmth I noticed how unusually vacant the storefront was. It’s the weekend and an afternoon, cold or not this is a strange thing to see.

I walked up to the counter and was greeted spontaneously by Pinkie. I could swear was right behind me a moment ago. “Pinkie could you please get Mrs. Cake for me,” I asked. Pinkie was doing her thing in overdrive…

*****

“You actually got more than enough,” Twilight told me as we were on our way back home.

“I couldn’t say no when she was offering so much for such a cheap price,” I replied. “I mean I’ll have to grind my own cinnamon but that’s easy.”

Rainbow shot me a glare. “Just remember it’s all of us again. We’re all eating and stuff.”

“So, what am I looking at for a ‘Spike budget’ then?”

Twilight giggled. “I’ll get the records out, so we can do it together. I could always get by on my stipend from Princess Celestia, but I’m not sure how our budget will work out now.”

“Then everything’s going to be fine Twi,” Rainbow said casually. “Between my pay, Al’s pay, and your stipend, it’ll be no sweat.”

“But after the change, I mean we can teach you magic or flying but what if you can’t do your job?”

I sighed. “Well, we can cross that bridge when we get to it. You can’t plan for everything Twilight, you remember that lesson right?”

Rainbow stifled her laugh.

“There’s a problem with that lesson though, it’s hard to break a habitual cycle. I mean I adapted but it’s still there.”

“But you’re not writing pre-pre-pre-checklist checklists anymore,” Rainbow told her. “Wait, you aren’t right?”

“No, but it’s still there in my head! I can’t just pull it out.”

Rainbow slipped inside ahead of me as I looked right into Twilight’s eyes. “Then don’t, I like your head just the way it is.” I gave her a soft kiss as I closed the door behind her. We could argue over lessons she should’ve learned till doomsday, but everyone in our house knew that would go nowhere slowly.

*****

Spike, who had the misfortune to return while the kitchen was in full use, quickly found himself pulled into the fray. “What’s going on,” he asked me when he returned to the kitchen for forks, “I mean Twilight just told me to get plates for five.”

I didn’t hear that well, I had the spice grinder out. Naturally he tried to get my attention several times and I didn’t actually hear him until he yelled in my ear. “Well,” I replied with a little hesitation. Twilight was dragging Spike to the table, so I had to be more trusting of her choice. “We’re having company Spike. Princess Luna is coming to dinner and we’ll be discussing something we’ve been planning. I really hope she has a plan.”

“A plan? Is this about the human-pony thing?”

“It is. Princess Luna said to leave the planning to her.”

“Can you tell me anything before she lays it all out?”

“Did you go to Canterlot and stick around with Twilight during the summer?”

“Well no,” he said disappointedly, “Twilight told me to take care of the library.”

I got the feeling that might end up being our excuse for a lot of things if he couldn’t sit still for the whole talk. “It’s about what’s going to happen in the near future. If Twilight or Princess Luna asks, I didn’t tell you that we’re going to be very close to breaking the law.”

“You’re-”

“Didn’t. Hear. From. Me.” I made sure to emphasize each word. “The less about the details the safer you’ll be.”

By the time I was nearly done with dinner, I heard a knock at the door and a skip in Twilight’s step as she passed to answer it. Princess Luna was right on time, and I had a strong feeling that we’re going to hear both good and bad news.

“Ah Twilight Sparkle,” I heard from towards the front door, “how wonderful to see you here already.”

“Um about that,” I heard as they headed towards me, “I’ve moved in. I mean me and Rainbow, I mean… oh, I don’t want to say everything awkwardly but-”

“Take a deep breath Twilight Sparkle; it will help more than you know.”

“What she’s trying to say is we moved in,” squealed Rainbow as she passed by the kitchen door.

I glanced over my shoulder and gave them a warm smile. “Dinner’s nearly ready, please head right to the table is nearly served, just this last dish.” At Twilight’s insistence I gave up on the drinks, she just about refused to let me work until I caved in.

The next thing I heard was a quick ‘urk’ and I looked to see Twilight nearly getting the life crushed out of her by Luna hugging her. “THAT IS SUCH WONDERFUL NEWS,” the lunar princess squealed in her Royal Canterlot Voice.

“Princess Luna,” I pleaded, “please don’t crush the life out of her, I’m not dead yet.”

“Yeah,” agreed Rainbow as she rubbed her ear, “not yelling might be nice too.”

Luna merely blinked as she released Twilight. “Was it too tight Twilight Sparkle,” she asked using a very meek indoor voice.

“A bit,” Twilight eked out.

Princess Luna turned to stare at me eye-to-eye. “You sound so adamant saying things like ‘I’m not dead yet’ Alexander. Do you truly mean such words?”

“I would never harm Twilight intentionally,” I said with as much determination as I could muster. “I don’t really believe in things like the afterlife so I have to say that I won’t stop loving her until I’m dead. If I’m wrong and there is a life after this one then I’ll still love Twilight for as long as I am able to remember her to any extent.” I glanced to Rainbow, catching a silent plea on her face. “Don’t worry Dashie, I feel the same about you.”

Garlic bread went right to the counter as Twilight stared at me, tears welling up in her eyes. She said nothing as she closed in, nor when she pounced and knocked me to the ground. She simply kissed me as an ‘ouch’ caught in my throat from the lump on the back of my head.

As I broke away from Twilight, I smiled for a moment.

“Come on Twi,” Rainbow said in a teasing voice, “not in front of the Princess.”

Twilight went wide-eyed for a moment then returned my content smile. “To be continued.” She casually glanced back towards Rainbow. “Sorry,” she added meekly.

I looked back to the doorway to see Luna nodding. The sooner we hear this plan of hers, the sooner we can move things along.

*****

“Firstly,” Luna said during dinner, “I believe the safest time to perform this spell will be during the Hearth’s Warming pageant. Security shall be more focused on the pageant than the archives. The book we are looking for is in the second sublevel.”

“You said last time that the spells were borderline,” I said, “from a legality point of view. You’ve checked the laws correct?”

“But of course. The spells were created during a time when there was less of a divide between the races of the world. After Discord, my sister and I felt that they required a watchful eye. I do not think Celestia is even aware of their existence anymore.”

“What sort of punishment will we be looking at,” Twilight asked.

“I shall assume full responsibility Twilight Sparkle.”

“But what does the punishment entail?”

“Imprisonment of no less than fifty years,” Luna saw our looks of concern, “I shall be capable of enduring such a sentence. You three need to be happy together.”

Twilight was about to say something when I spoke up. “Excuse me,” I interrupted, “what is the exact wording of the law?”

Luna turned to look me in the eye. “Without express permission all spells stored on the second sublevel of the archives are considered illegal. Only those of the highest levels of authority can give such permission, and only a select few would even be capable of casting such spells. Unfortunately, I do not know my standing in this ruling as of now. My sister had made this law in my absence.”

“Alright, so we sneak into the archives during the pageant. What else is there?”

“In the days before Hearth’s Warming Eve I shall prepare a few stages of the spell we shall require. Such preparations will involve a few runes, a magic circle, and a few other minor complications that would slow us down otherwise.”

“What about the spell itself,” asked Twilight.

“The spell is not too obvious unless you are in the room. There is no doubt that my sister will sense an inkling of the magic and send guards to investigate. We will have to be fast to complete the spell and withdraw from the archives.”

Personally, I think most of this will be overkill. After all, a few months ago Princess Celestia looked the other way so that Twilight could bring me here. Naturally, I would never mention this; in the off chance I was wrong. “What about after we leave the archives,” I asked.

“It is simple; you three slip into the crowd at the pageant. The curfew has been lifted so the train will be running for your escape from Canterlot. While you make your escape, I shall direct soldiers away from you as best I can. Twilight Sparkle, Princess Cadance is also trying to force your brother into aiding us.”

“Sounds like a reasonable idea. Shining Armor should be willing to help us,” Twilight gave me a skeptical look.

“He’ll never hear the end of it from everypony if he doesn’t,” Rainbow added while trying her hardest to hold back her desire to laugh.

“Are there any other questions,” the lunar princess asked.

Spike hesitantly raised his hand but caught three pairs of eyes dart to him with scowls not far behind them. “Um, nevermind.”

Luna raised her eyebrow but nodded. “Thank you for another lovely meal Alexander. I look forward to your arrival in twelve days.”

After seeing Luna off, Twilight leaned against me. “Now where were we,” she cooed.

“We’ll remind you after Spike goes to sleep,” Rainbow scolded.

19 - Lyra: I Smell Conspiracy

“Dear Lyra Heartstrings,” Lyra mumbled as she read her letter, “I am well aware of the proof in your theories and would greatly love to hear about your recent work into the ‘upright race’ currently being defined as humans. I am sorry that you were expelled from my school as I recall you were quite the scholar in your own right.”

“Lyra,” called Bonbon from the couch, “who are you talking to?”

“I look forward to speaking with you on the date you’ve suggested,” the lyricist replied, her voice practically bleeding with anticipation. “Sincerely, Princess Celestia,” she peered around the letter and grinned. “Bonbon, I’m gonna meet Princess Celestia and sort all of this human stuff out once and for all!”

“Lyra, I know you were expelled and everything but do you really expect the Princess herself to meet with you after… how long was it again?”

“Three years, four months, and twenty days,” Lyra recited. “I remember full well when I was told to get out of school and started to fend for myself.”

“Yes, and you can barely do that! What makes you think you can just trot up to Canterlot so close to Hearth’s Warming Eve and just talk with Princess Celestia?”

“Approval for an appointment by the Princess herself, is something wrong with that?”

“Well yeah, I mean shouldn’t Princess Celestia be preparing for the pageant or something?”

“Bonbon, there’s no reason to think she wouldn’t want to talk now that word on the street is humans are real.”

*****

A week later Lyra was pacing in her compartment. She had accumulated a lot of material thanks to Alex and she was ready to get some approval of her work from the princess herself.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” she said to her reflection in the window. “Princess Celestia has seen I was right and she’ll welcome all of my hard work despite what happened. I can’t just laugh and throw it in her face though; I mean I should play it rather calm.”

She carefully laid her plan out, despite the occasional bump from the train causing her train of thought to drift. It was simple really, talk to Princess Celestia about her findings and ask her about the legal issues regarding magical transformation.

As I recall, nopony is allowed to change their species anymore, she thought. It had been a common thought since Alex had said it. Lyra was far from dumb; she was quite learned and did her best to keep up on laws since she was kicked out of school.

*****

Normally, Princess Celestia would spend most of the morning listening to delegate after delegate drone on about their problems. Recently she had been meeting with representatives for the Hearth’s Warming festivities going on around Canterlot. Today however, she was anxiously waiting for her visitor from Ponyville. She had anticipated meeting the unicorn herself, a thought she believed that they had in common.

“Your highness,” whispered a sheepish earth pony, “your midday visitor’s train has just arrived.”

Princess Celestia nodded. “I would like to take a brief recess for now. Gather your thoughts, your ideas, and be ready to hand me a physical copy of your motion.” She smiled at a nervous griffon who was now trying to get several papers together.

“Don’t worry Princess Celestia,” the griffon replied. “I’ll have the details hammered out for the pageant later this afternoon.”

“Please direct Miss Heartstrings to my chambers when she arrives. I would greatly enjoy to discuss things privately.”

“I’ll send word to the guards,” the earth pony replied.

20 - Hearth's Warming

My first Hearth’s Warming Eve and I have to break into Canterlot Castle. Tell me, did any of you expect this when you started reading back at the start of all of this? In all seriousness though, Princess Luna expects Twilight, Dashie, and me to break into the archives, play security for foals, and do some spell to turn me into a pony?

Okay, Twilight snuck into the archives before, but well…

“This is so different,” Twilight worried. “Don’t worry; Princess Luna will help us! Yes, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” When she worried this much, it was often a lot of talking to herself.

I was keeping an eye on her at the moment; we were all seriously worried. It’s two days ‘til Hearth’s Warming Eve and she’s been progressively breaking down since Luna’s visit. Whenever I went to work Spike or Rainbow took my place, we had to keep a feverish eye on Twilight. I mean, well, does Smartypants ring any bells? I mean everyone, even Twilight, admits it happened. They all told me it was worse, they were still handling the repercussions all the way until the Royal Wedding. Stress and Twilight don’t mix well, despite everypony’s best efforts, Twilight’s included, to help alleviate that issue.

As of late, Dashie and I have become a sort of buffer, relieving her stress before it drives her nuts. No, it isn’t like that. I hate to admit it, but quizzing her on her previous lessons in Canterlot does wonders until she snatches books or notes from my grasp. Also, after a little bit of trial and error I’ve got a good idea about where her particular stressing points are for a massage. She told me comfort later, stress now so I do what I can. We try to keep as low-key on the sensual radar as we can, for Spike’s sake. Save that stuff for late at night or if we need it while he’s out. At least he understands the rule about a sock on the doorknob and Twilight’s given up on her saddle.

Anyways, we had Pinkie Pie over once to help me try to snap her out of her worry. We scored a record five consecutive minutes of not freaking out. Rarity did better yesterday, when she forced Twilight to go to the spa and spend the whole day being pampered by others. It wasn’t just that she was freaking out about our little thing in a few evenings. In fact, I think if it was only that then it would be easier to fix. The other complication is far more down to earth: making sure our new living arrangements were turning out perfectly.

“Alex,” she said with a gasp once she saw me in the hallway, “are you okay with everything?”

I came in to join her, trying my best to give her a pleasant smile. “Everything’s fine,” I answered, “there’s no need to worry about you, Spike, or Dashie living here. We need to focus on the archives though; we only have two nights until we have to go.”

“Two nights,” she squealed. “This isn’t good, I mean we don’t even have a plan for once we get there. How are we supposed to slip out of the second sublevel without a plan?”

“Have you ever been down on even the first one?”

Twilight was about to say something but she paused, no doubt she was thinking about it carefully. “Once or twice, I don’t remember the layout well enough so we’ll be in the dark as soon as we get there. I know the patrols well enough on the ground floor so we should have less to worry about unless they find us sneaking downstairs.”

“Then let’s plan together Twi.”

“But-”

“No excuses dear,” I told her firmly. “We’re all working together and that’s all there is to it.”

“Care to contribute then?”

I smirked. “Shall I get my kit?”

“Dude,” we heard from the doorway, “do you really have ‘a kit’ Alex?”

“Prolly not, but what ‘cha willing to bet Al can put something together Spike,” Rainbow added as she swooped into the room.

“Yeah, I think I can put a crude one together,” I explained as I grew progressively redder, “blowtorch, acid, a few tools I never ever get a chance to use anymore. I mean I have this sulfuric acid just sitting around in the garage do I ever get a chance to use it? The answer is no Spike. No.”

“You mean that paint can with the danger sign on it,” Rainbow asked me.

“No, it’s the one that’s painted bright orange. The one marked danger is my explosive paste.”

“Ugh, so that’s where you were hiding that stuff? You have any idea how long I was jumpy after that day Al? I mean, ugh, Rarity was opening doors for me for a week.”

Twilight giggled. “That’s only because we were all in on it after the first two days.”

“Wait,” said Spike abruptly, “then why wasn’t I in on it?”

“Well, because we all figured it out on our own.”

“Moving along,” I said as Spike opened his mouth, “what do we know already?”

“Right now, Princess Cadance is working on getting Shining Armor to contribute to this plan.”

Rainbow snorted. “She calling in the ‘your sister saved me from the changelings’ already?”

Twilight shook her head. “I’m more willing to wager that she’s going to play off of the fact that she won’t give him a moment’s peace until he stops putting his job ahead of family. I mean, it isn’t like he’s going to be in a lot of danger. If nothing else he’s just peripherally involved and can feign blackmail if he gets caught.”

“Spike,” I started as we all huddled into a circle, “what do you plan to do while we’re all going to be doing this?”

“I’m coming along an-” he stopped as he noticed we were all glaring at him. “What, you three are going to go off and risk everything without me? Come on Twi, when have you ever done something without me?”

“How about getting Cadance to her own wedding to stop a changeling invasion after everyone didn’t believe me?”

“I, um,” Spike’s head drooped, “look I know we all did some stupid stuff then. We didn’t trust you and I should’ve, at the very least, listened to you more.”

“Everyone should’ve,” added Rainbow, “I know Al here would’ve supported you if he was there.” She looked to me for support.

“Actually I probably wouldn’t take everything at face value,” I admitted. “Look, it isn’t that I don’t trust you Twilight, it’s just that things wearing on someone’s last perfectionist nerve can make them do some crazy things. Tell me you honestly didn’t dream about your perfect wedding at least once when you were a filly Twi.”

“But to be so uppity that you forget something as simple as that? I mean, if it wasn’t for knowing so much about Cadance, I would’ve been less suspicious.”

“Ok, ok, let’s just calm down,” interjected Spike calmly. “So what do you think I should do?”

I stroked an imaginary beard as I thought. “Check with our friends, see if someone will watch you for Hearth’s Warming.”

Twilight nodded in agreement. “Meanwhile we’ll be attending the pageant with Cadance in Canterlot.”

“Instead we’re breakin’ into the archives with Princess Luna,” added Rainbow with a jab in the air with a foreleg. “What about the security?”

“We’ll be with Princess Luna,” Twilight replied assuredly, “they might be skeptical but not enough to question her authority. They’ll be more suspicious when we’re leaving.”

“Cause Luna’s not gonnna be with us?”

“Exactly Rainbow, without Princess Luna with us, then our emergence from the sublevel will be more suspicious. If you can pass for a guard then it’ll be easier Alex, especially with Shining waiting for us. The guards in the archives will only let me get away with so much. When Pinkie, Spike, and I were leaving the archives that one morning I noticed some strange looks from them.”

“Don’t you think how you looked might’ve done that,” asked Spike.

“Do you have a plan yet,” she snapped.

“Uh, I’ll go run and ask Rarity. If that doesn’t work then I’ll try Pinkie, then Applejack. I mean, I don’t wanna impose or anything but getting Sweetie Belle out of her mane, or keeping Applebloom out of trouble might be good ideas.”

“Sounds good,” I told him. “How about putting it through right now? I mean, the less you know the better Spike.”

Twilight nodded. “Like my brother, it’s better if you can feign ignorance if anything comes up.”

“Okey dokey,” Spike said as he picked himself up. “Good luck guys.”

“Same to you,” I called to him.

“I think we should travel light,” suggested Rainbow the second she heard the front door close. “I mean, we shouldn’t look like we’re up to anything.”

“Right, so how about we take only the essentials,” suggested Twilight. “Make some picks and other tools, get a crowbar if we really need it, maybe that paste of yours.”

“Alright,” I replied, “I just hope we can put everything together in time.”

Twilight winced. “I know, I’m real sorry I didn’t leave us time to work this out better.”

“We’ll just have ‘ta deal,” added Rainbow assertively. “We travel light, with only the bare essentials so we don’t have a ton of stuff to lug around once Al has his hooves.”

“Knowing my luck we’ll need to have some time to spare when that happens,” I commented. “I mean, I don’t know if everything’s gonna be natural or if I’ll have to learn from the very start.”

“It’s gonna be real embarrassing if you don’t have a cutie mark Al,” Rainbow added with a brief snicker.

“Oh sure, make fun of the human before he turns into a pony,” I replied sarcastically.

“Anyways,” said Twilight sternly, “Princess Luna will meet us at the archives at eight thirty. After that, she leads us down to the second sublevel, we do the spell, and we come back up to get escorted out by Shining Armor.”

“Ugh, you make it sound so easy,” griped Rainbow.

“Have I mentioned how I feel like we’re being treated like pawns in a game,” I asked.

“Princess Celestia’s involved,” Twilight replied dryly, “you get used to it.”

“So, after we do all this stuff your brother takes us to the pageant right Twi,” asked Rainbow as she tried to get us back on track.

“If it’s ending we act like we’re going but only to get into the crowd leaving the pageant,” added Twilight. “After that, we join Shining, Cadance, and my parents for dinner before heading home. There’s no curfew so we can leave on a late train.”

“After all of that, you get to training if you get a horn or wings Al.”

I rolled my eyes. Some Hearth’s Warming present…

*****

It was the morning of our trip to Canterlot. Our alibi was prepared and we already had our tickets for Canterlot.

“Torch,” called Twilight.

“Check,” I replied as I stuffed it into a bag.

“Hack saw?”

“Check.”

“Extra hack saw?”

“Check.”

“Files?”

“Check.”

“Crowbar?”

“Got it,” Rainbow replied as she stuffed it into the bag.

“Exploding paste?”

“Yep,” I added.

“Spatula and brush for applying exploding paste?”

“All set.”

“Jury-rigged locksmith tools?”

“I agree with Dashie that they’re a little crude but they’re all set. Anything else my dear perfectionist,” I asked to Twilight before I even thought about closing my bag.

“Uh tickets,” asked Rainbow.

Twilight and I looked around as Rainbow fetched them off my desk.

“What would you guys do without me?”

Mentally I chalked up a note to make things up to Rainbow as I zipped my bag up. I hefted it over my shoulder and started out the door. It was time to catch our train.

*****

There was actually security at the Canterlot station when we arrived that afternoon, something Twilight was quick to mention as a rare occurrence. “They’re not going to let us just stride into the palace are they,” I asked her as we left the train. For the record, you’ll want a thick coat and gloves if you’re visiting Canterlot during the winter. More if you’re not used to a significant amount of snow and chilling wind.

“That’s why you’re both with me,” said Twilight pleasantly. “Not to mention the ‘royal duties’ card we can play if somepony gets suspicious.”

We traveled down side streets, doing our best to avoid the crowds and guards. Our alibi consisted of seeing why Princess Luna asked to see us, attending the pageant if we had time, and having dinner with Cadance, Shining Armor, and Twilight’s parents. We’d be catching a late train back to Ponyville and enjoy the night snuggled up together with the feeling of a job well done. Personally, I was relying on Celestia feigning ignorance to this whole ordeal. I was also expecting a case of Trollestia before the night was over. What, better to be safe rather than sorry.

Nearly to the castle however, I found a clear detour in Twilight’s mind. “If we’re going to have an alibi,” she told us in a hushed voice, “we’re going to need witnesses.” She continued to lead the way towards a fenced off and guard patrolled manor.

Rainbow gulped. “So is this Shining Armor and Princess Cadence’s place?”

“Yes,” Twilight replied pleasantly as she wheeled around with a cheerful grin. “Are you worried Alex?”

“I always have to be a little surprised or worried Twi it keeps things from getting boring.” I know she always has the best intentions and it was better to get the double take out of either of us now.

*****

Past guards and snow coated gardens Twilight led Dashie and me to meet one particular pony, one who vouched for me without knowing anything about me except for what Twilight told her. “I am actually a little nervous Twilight,” I confessed.

“Is it seeing Cadance or what’s going on later tonight,” she asked as she gave me a concerned look.

“Princess Cadance was willing to vouch for me knowing only what you told her. I just, I think she’s sticking her head out for some-”

“She’s looking out for family,” Twilight interrupted. “Even if you aren’t family I am, and I was willing to get you on my own if I had to. Cadance will be more than happy to meet you. Just relax, be that kind human I fell in love with.”

“You mean we Twi,” Rainbow sharply corrected her.

With a deep sigh, I tried to wipe clear my anxiety and caution, if only for a while. “I’d like to be family Twi,” I told her affectionately. “I hear Princess Cadance has this wonderful sister-in-law, but she has this baby dragon she has to look after.”

Twilight giggled. “You know she has a boyfriend already,” she teased. “From what I hear her boyfriend’s as tall as Princess Celestia.”

“Hey, I heard he’s seeing this awesomely cool pegasus,” added Rainbow without missing a beat. “He’s quite the playboy eh Twi?”

We shared a little laugh passing a gawking sentry at the door and managing to recompose ourselves as we entered a lush hall. “We are expected right Twilight?”

“Of course you are Alex,” called a voice that exuded what I would have to equate to love, or at least I think that would be what I’d try to call it. A quick glance around the hall, and Twilight’s sudden movement, brought my attention to a pink alicorn rapidly advancing on us.

“Good evening Princess Cadance,” I said as Rainbow and I went to catch up to Twilight.

“Alex please ‘Cadance’ will be fine,” she replied plainly. She stopped a few lengths away, her eyes squinting a little. “Princess Luna and Shining were right, you are pretty tall.”

“I hope you know what we’re up to tonight Cadance,” said Rainbow nervously.

“More than I want to know, so please don’t tell me anymore of it. It’s why you’re early isn’t it?”

“We’re just going to be here for a few minutes,” Twilight explained. “Enough ponies need to have seen us go in that they can believe we’re spending time with you while we do what we’re doing.”

All four of us glanced in a different direction. “Shining Armor’s in place then Cadance,” I asked her in a hushed voice.

“He’ll be waiting for Luna to give him a signal,” she replied in an equally hushed tone.

“How about where security’s weakest here,” asked Twilight.

“Western side of the garden is where the guards don’t patrol. Shining wanted a weak spot in case you wanted something like this Twilight.”

I have to admit, this was a very strange conversation. It was like something out of cheesy cover-up scene from a bad spy movie. For once, I did enjoy the straightforwardness of the situation. “So Shining’s reading your strategy Twi?”

“He knows me Alex,” she replied coyly.

“Fair enough,” I replied with a sigh. “So we’ll be returning for dinner then right Cadance?”

She nodded, “I’ll be expecting to see you during the pageant. If not then I hope it won’t be long afterwards that we can have an honest conversation Twilight,” she gave Twilight a warm smile, “I look forward to seeing what kind of wonderful stallion you bring with you to dinner.”

*****

After saying our farewells, we slipped out. Thanks to Twilight’s diligent practice of the teleport spell, the three of us skipped more than a few blocks. However, with Twilight’s insistence of not being seen anymore, we were now running late. By the time we were on palace grounds, we abandoned sneaking altogether and went to a flat out run.

“Here we are,” Twilight called back to me as she reached the building.

“I can’t,” I wheezed after I caught up to her, “can’t wait for hooves. I’m getting sick of being left in the dust all the time.”

“I know,” she told me sympathetically as Rainbow did her best to hold back snickering. “One problem at a time though.” While Twilight leaned up against the wall to open a window, I opted for the door.

Thanks to her track record, the door was unlocked, and Luna was waiting for us. “Did something keep you three,” the lunar princess asked me as soon as she saw the door partway open.

“Twilight’s idea of bein’ sneaky held us up,” Rainbow explained.

I glanced over and saw Twilight abandoning her through-the-window entrance. “We aren’t drastically late are we?”

“Not too much, I was sure to plan for some extra time. It was more for how long the spell would last, not poor timing.”

“We’re really sorry, but like you said, we have to make up time.”

Luna merely nodded and turned down a hall. “Stay close,” she warned as she led the way, “and try to remember the way as best you can Alexander.”

Twilight and I followed Luna through a very straightforward path to the first sublevel. Through the twists and turns of the labyrinthine bookcases, we eventually found ourselves at a staircase leading down. “So where will Shining Armor be waiting for us Princess,” I asked as we proceeded to the second sublevel.

“The stairs leading to the ground floor,” she replied. “Once we reach the bottom of the stairs I need you to take a right Alexander, the first bookshelf you find with a locked shelf is where you will find the book we require. Get the book, double back, and meet us in the open area right ahead of us.”

I nodded and looked out to this new second basement. The stairs didn’t feel like it but we had to have gone down far more stairs than I realized. The bookcases were at least fifteen feet high. In case you’d like to know, a normal bookcase is about six and a half to eight feet tall.

Once my feet set down on the floor I darted off at a jog down the corridor of books, looking for the one in question. After a minute or two I saw it, about halfway up a bookcase was a locked off shelf. A thin panel of glass and a metal grate barred a solitary book from my hands.

I set my bag down and got a few tools out. “Time to see if these things actually work,” I said to nobody in particular. How much time passed I couldn’t tell you, but several of the quickly made tools lay broken at my feet. I was always a good person; I’ve never broken into anything I didn’t have to.

What few things I have broken into were all electronic in origin. Cracking a security code because a client decided to set up biometrics and forget to tell me, that sort of thing. Doing this manually wasn’t as easy. By the time I exhausted the idea of picking the lock, I was also sick of trying to work around it with the file. Was I willing to risk the blowtorch with something delicate? To be honest it was taking up space and I went right for the crowbar. Brute force it is.

“Woah,” called Rainbow as she swooped in, “sorry, but are you sure you wanna just smash it or something Al?”

I nodded to her. “At this point, I may as well. Why are you over here anyways Dashie?”

“Those two are kinda creepin’ me out with how still and quiet they are.”

*****

“Okay,” I said as I ran to Twilight and Luna, “got the book. What was the page?”

“Page three forty seven,” replied Luna as I started to flip through the pages.

“Let’s see, the transmogrification spell?”

“That would be the one,” Luna turned to Twilight. “I need you to do a quick study Twilight Sparkle. We will both need to cast it for it to have sufficient power to be permanent.”

Twilight looked up from the now levitating spell book. “It wouldn’t be permanent if you were doing it on your own Princess?”

“I am not certain,” she answered nervously, “we need as much magic as we can call on to be safe.”

I checked my watch and set a few of my things down. “It’s nine now,” I said while trying to maintain my composure, “how much longer do we have?”

“If everything’s playing out on schedule then about forty five minutes Alex,” chimed Twilight from behind the book.

“Yes,” said Luna anxiously, “and ‘Tia will know we’re doing something in about ten minutes.”

“Longer if we keep distracting Twilight,” Rainbow huffed.

“So what do I do now princess,” I asked.

“Stand in the middle of the circle,” she pointed a hoof to a rug coated in a deep blue aura. “I’ve hidden the circle under there. Just stay at the center of the rug and you will be in place.”

I gave her a nod and removed my watch and coat.

“There’s no way anypony can really be ready for this Alex,” called Twilight as I took my place.

“Then just get this thing going before I have second thoughts.” I saw two lights flare up in the candlelit room, one blue and the other violet, and then everything went black.

21 - Inner Space

As everything came back into focus I found myself standing in the center of four mirrors, each equidistant from each other along a small circular plane. Trippy, I said silently. This felt a little familiar, I just couldn’t place where. I looked around at the ground and saw some sort of stain glass pattern, details were a bit warped but looked like one of those Station of Awakening platforms in Kingdom Hearts.

“Dashie,” I called. “Twilight? Princess Luna?” I bit my lip when I heard no reply, “anypony?”

“There are four ponies in here,” came a soft voice. I turned to look in the direction of it to see myself face to face with a mirror containing an earth pony with a white coat, an overly long black mane, and black tail carefully pulled back into a ‘ponytail’ similar to Applejack’s tail. “Hello Alex, I think you’re smart enough to figure this out.”

“Right,” I said bluntly, “correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re me right?”

The earth pony nodded. “Each of us is you in our own way. Each has a different personality. But most important of all is that we’re all you.”

“Do all of you have a way to convince me to pick you?”

“I can’t speak for the others but I’m only going to give you advice. This is a one shot deal, no take backs. Got it?”

I nodded. “Next question, cutie mark?”

He showed his flank, flashing a fractured mirror at my eyes. “Any other questions Alex?”

“What can I expect?”

“Three other ponies resembling me, each with this vague cutie mark. Each has a different personality, but like me, don’t make your choice based on how we act.”

“Simple, clean, informative, I like you already.” I turned around and went to take a look at the mirror opposite of the earth pony’s.

*****

It was true what the earth pony said, the next pony came into focus looking nearly identical to the earth pony until you came to the notion of it lying on its back on a cloud and listening to This Day Aria’s colt version, I could tell since he was singing along. There was no horn so this would have to be my pegasus side.

“No I do not love the bride,” he sang in a very regal and proud voice. He was doing his best to match the song, and I must admit he was doing a very good job at it.

“For my heart is dead inside,” I continued, matching his voice as best I could.

“But I still want her to be mine,” we both finished the verse.

Those few lines brought my presence to his attention and he quickly paused the music. “Heheheh,” he said nervously, “sorry ‘bout that. I like to get lost in songs.”

“You’re entertainment aren’t you?”

“Nope, I’m entertainment and humor. You forgot the humor so no cookie for you.”

Gotta admit, I thought, guy’s amusing. In his own unusual way, but amusing when everything was done.

“Okay, no, sorry but I can’t give you a cookie anyways. I can’t give you a cookie cause if you take one then you become me. Not personality me, but a pegasus, know what I mean Al?”

“Kinda, but this is pretty confusing.”

“Cause you’re talking to yourself?”

“Wha-huh?” I was still having issues grappling with the concept of simply talking with myself like this.

“You heard me Al; you’re just talking to yourself.”

“Okay,” I said slowly, “so what’s the cutie mark mean?”

“I have no idea,” he replied casually, “I think we’re all the same as the earth pony in that department. Thought you should also know that there’s no way the earth pony can do your job, not with some of its peculiarities. The clock’s I mean. Pick him and you’ll need a new new job. Then there’s Twi.”

“What about her?”

“You pick me and she might get jealous a Dashie. Gonna need to put her mind at ease if ya know what I mean.”

“Care to take a stab at something else?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Why does the inside of my head look like something out of Kingdom Hearts?”

The pegasus took a long look out onto the surface. “Huh, I got nothin’ but a guess. Perhaps your mind is trying to orient it in a way that you already know. So, here we are, your very own Station of Awakening!”

*****

Was I confused by the time I walked away from the pegasus mirror? A little, but that was mostly from his insistence of doing Pinkie’s singing telegram with him before moving on. The next mirror I met contained a book coated in a golden aura as it hovered in front of somepony.

“Lemmie guess,” I said dryly, “you’re the brains here?”

I heard the sound of a page turn before I saw the top of a unicorn’s head over the top of the book. “A very safe assumption,” he said carefully. “I’m caution and curiosity. If I didn’t know what was in the mirror opposite of me I would never stop wondering.”

“So what’s he like,” I asked plainly.

“I’d rather not talk about a colleague like that. You’ll know when you see him.”

“Alright then, what benefits would I gain from you?”

“I would hope you mean aside from copious time with Twilight learning all about magic and the jealousy Rainbow Dash may feel towards her.”

“Well, there’s that too, but what else?”

The unicorn rolled his eyes. “Right, guy with a pulse, anywa-”

“Hold on there, just because I’m a guy, I have a pulse, and I’m infatuated with two girls, doesn’t mean I want to be like that all the time.”

“Yes, you have a stellar record,” he retorted sarcastically.

“Any clue how hard it is to distract her once she sets her mind to something?”

The reflected unicorn dropped his book and stared blankly. “How do you do it,” he eventually asked.

“Fight compulsion with every distraction I can think of, in very rare cases I use liquor. Sex isn’t the best answer and we both know it.”

“Fair enough,” I heard as I turned away from the unicorn mirror. I felt ready as ever to face the alicorn mirror.

*****

“Now I’ve met the others,” I said casually to the reflected alicorn. “I’ve seen what they’re all like and what I’ll be capable of in their place”

“Well that’s what I expected of you,” he replied calmly. This stallion was perhaps a little bigger than Celestia. It would be close at the very least.

“What bugs me is I’ve never-”

“Seen a male? How could I ever doubt your skepticism? I’m just as real as the others, but I’m also the one that is the least likely.”

I gave him a confused look. “Care to translate that?”

The alicorn took a deep breath followed by a gentle exhale. “The earth pony displays you as you already are: a rooted and down to earth person with no special qualities aside from what makes you who you are. The pegasus displays you with freedom of movement, your capacities given full freedom to move about in a true three-dimensional fashion. The unicorn represents you with magic, how you may approach magic, or perhaps interpret approaching magic.”

“So what do you represent?”

“I represent appeasing everypony. I especially embody your desire to help everypony in every way you can. I display all qualities and all your capabilities. This does not mean that I define you; none of us truly defines you. You define us, easy as that.”

“It can’t be that easy. I’ve never found something that easy.”

“In this case, it is that easy.”

“Then how are you the most unlikely of the four of you? The four ponies of me?” I shook my head feverishly. “You know what I mean.”

“I know,” he replied serenely, “and I also know it’s confusing to talk about all of us, yourself included.”

“Is there even such a thing as the first-person plural when speaking about one’s self in addition to speaking in the singular-possessive?”

“No, this is too abstract for something more than simply ‘us’ to work. At least, that’s what the part of your mind that I am thinks.”

“Is time abstract in here,” I chanced.

The alicorn gave me a very familiar thinking face, one that I often donned when trying to explain things to the Crusaders. “In a way it is and it isn’t. Time is a constant, but this is a conversation in your head. If my understanding is correct then we are communicating at the relative speed of your inner dialogue so I think you can do the math from there.”

I gave the alicorn a vacant stare. “You’re really cut and dry aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he replied pleasantly, “yes I am. I haven’t answered your question though. I’m least likely because of what I am. You’ll be expected to do wondrous things if you take my shape. Look at the hoofsteps you’re following. Celestia raises and lowers the sun every day. Luna does the same with the moon. Even Cadance will eclipse you if you stand in my hooves, for how long though I am not sure. Learning from step one will prove quite the trial.”

“Meaning I’ll be learning magic and flying and won’t be capable of handling a job for quite a while?”

“There’s more than that. You’ll place everypony under excessive pressure, and paint a giant bull’s-eye on your head.”

“I’m living with Rainbow and Twilight! They’ve saved Equestria from Discord and Nightmare Moon, and this will paint a bull’s-eye on me? What happened to being a human and being with two of the scant saviors of Equestria in this day and age?”

“Hey,” called the earth pony mirror, “you’re getting rid of one of those targets by doing this thing!”

“Then there’s the fact that you’re already fully grown,” harped the unicorn mirror. “This isn’t something like learning all about yourself over the course of your life. Think about it, you’re already an adult, so stepping into that form is just asking for considerable trouble.”

“Wait a sec,” called the pegasus mirror, “you may as well scream ‘take the earth pony mirror’ at him when you put it that way.”

“Will all of you just shut up,” I yelled. “I want to just sit down and think about this. It isn’t a choice I can make with all of you arguing like children.” I sat down and everypony went silent.

*****

As I considered, I noticed that the mirrors closed in on me, bringing each of them into focus at the same time. Each choice had merits and flaws. One kept my reasoning closest to where it already is, but prevented me from working my current job. The other three offered the ability to continue my maintenance job, but I’d be learning something to accommodate my new form. One would require magic lessons, a second would require flying lessons, and the third was the most ponderous of all. The third of those bodies required flying and magic lessons.

On one hoof, the alicorn was a major bull’s-eye, a hard trade for me to make to have both magic and flying. On another hoof, magic or flying meant a crash course in learning how to uses those traits. On the third hoof, not having magic, or some crazy mad feather skills, I would have to get used to not having a rational equivalent to my hands.

“Made your choice,” the unicorn asked as I rose from my contemplation.

“Yeah,” I replied as I began to circle, facing each in turn.

“You’re sure,” asked the pegasus.

“Positive guys,” I said with a nod. Before I touched the mirror I chose, I paused. “Hey guys, I’ve got one last question.”

“Certainly,” said the alicorn, “what is it?”

“Who’s been talking through my mirror at home?”

They exchanged looks. “I’ve been talking to you at times,” admitted the earth pony.

“Longer talks were with me,” confessed the unicorn.

“I was super lax,” added the pegasus, “ya know, calling Twilight ‘Twi’ and the like.”

“I tried to advise you as best I could,” replied the earth pony.

“Well, how about you,” I asked the alicorn.

“No,” he answered. “I want you to make your own choices. After all, how else can you learn?”

He made me pause and think about it, I wasn’t about to get into an argument with myself over this. “It was nice to have this chat with um… me. So long hands.” I reached my arm out and paused, my hand mere centimeters from the mirror I felt was right. I had the eerie feeling something else was watching me.

“Good catch,” said a new pony as it passed through me. It was different from even the alicorn mirror. It had a horn and wings like the alicorn, but its cutie mark was different and it was closer to Princess Cadance’s size.

“Who or what are you,” I asked it.

“Compromise,” it replied as the four mirrors bent into a semicircle. “How about you touch both the unicorn and pegasus mirrors at the same time? I mean, you know what a jack-of-trades is right?”

“He’s skilled at several things, but can never master any of them right?”

The phantom pony nodded. “You’ll be lucky to reach ten point oh wingpower, and you’ll only be so-so at magic. Then again, I doubt you’d think that being as powerful as Twilight would be plausible anyways.”

“Well yeah, she’s the Element of Magic and her cutie mark shows it.”

“With her as a teacher, you’d be pretty strong, but if you compromise then I think you’ll be more equal with Rarity after Twi’s done with you. Then there’s flying. Under Rainbow’s tutelage you should be an alright flyer. Think you could live with that stuff?”

“I think I could, if I do what you say.”

I reached out my hand and found the surface was cool to the touch. It almost felt like it was yanking me through the reflective surface. The next thing I knew my legs felt like jelly, I was on my four hooves awkwardly. I had returned to the archives.

22 - Unexpected

If you thought the concept of having extra appendages like a horn or wings might be neat to imagine, but when you end up screaming in pain as you feel your shoulder blades realign for the added bone, muscle, and sinew that allows a pair of wings to fit cleanly, not to mention work, then we can talk.

When I finally couldn’t hear my body whine at the adjustments I only slightly regretted my choice. Then again, I was wondering if something worked…

“Al,” asked Rainbow wearily, “you look uh sleek.” I felt her hoist one of my wings. “This flesh or something here?”

My weary eyes snapped open, revealing to me Twilight’s startled gaze.

“Now those will take some getting used to,” she commented.

“Tell me,” I said bluntly.

“As I recall, Pinkie said your eyes were golden in your screen. Well, they are,” Twilight flinched, “but your pupils are slits. You know, like Spike’s are. Then there are your ears, they’re um… okay, they have really fuzzy tips.”

“Yeah,” added Rainbow as she prodded my wings. “Let’s not forget your wings here. Twi, this is flesh right? I mean I know my way around pegasus wings but these aren’t those kinds of wings.”

Twilight passed around me and examined my wing herself. “They’re like bat wings. This is fascinating, is this what Princess Luna’s guards are like up close?”

I turned my head around and spotted the sleek, fleshy bat-like wing the duo was looking over. What startled me more than the sight of my own wings was the look of surprise from Twilight alongside Rainbow’s jaw drop. “Now what,” I asked as I tried to get to my hooves.

“You uh,” Rainbow paused, “you got something on your head Al.”

I glanced around what all of my face I could see and saw only my ebony coat and charcoal colored mane but not much else. “What is it? Where is it?” Twilight hesitantly poked something above my brow. “Ah,” I said as she poked it a second time, “that hurts Twilight!”

“It’s so weird,” she commented. “Rainbow, help him out of his pants. We can figure this out later. We’ve been here too long as is!”

Rainbow snorted, but managed to restrain herself enough to help me out of my cumbersome human pants. “At least you don’t need help with your shirt,” she commented after casting my pants aside, revealing a gilded mirror on my flank.

A closer inspection of what was beneath me revealed what remained of my shirt on the ground, the back completely torn off. When I got up it must’ve remained where it was.

Getting up was one thing, learning to move on four legs was something else entirely. I figured it out quickly enough, but not before getting a laugh or two from both Rainbow and Twilight. Soon though, my motor skills were put to the test as we raced upstairs and through the labyrinthine bookcases of the first sublevel.

*****

As we cautiously slipped onto the main floor’s landing, what met us was Shining Armor quickly glancing down the hallway towards the way out.

“Shining,” called Twilight in a hushed voice as we drew towards him.

“Twiley, you’re being followed by a guard,” he exclaimed as he caught sight of me.

“Uh, you might want to get your eyes checked,” commented Rainbow as she skidded to a halt in midair. “Al here’s not a guard.”

The skeptical Capitan of the Guard looked me over carefully. “I suppose the fact that you aren’t in uniform and that you’re sporting that horn should’ve been enough of a giveaway, but you’re all running really late.”

“Alex blacked out a lot,” Twilight hissed as she began to canter away from us and towards the exit. “In case you hadn’t realized, he went through a very serious transformation.”

Shining Armor opened his mouth to say something back to Twilight before he turned to meet my eyes. “Look, I’m sorry for coming off as a bit insensitive, but we don’t have much time before Princess Celestia comes here and finds out what happened.”

I gave him a curt nod and rushed to catch up to Twilight and Shining Armor, Rainbow was close behind me.

When we reached the front door to the archives, we all stopped to let Shining check if the coast was clear. “Um, hello your highness,” he said as he opened the doors. “How was the pageant?”

“It was fine,” replied Princess Celestia pleasantly as she past the threshold of the archives. “Oh my, I thought you came here for the pageant Twilight.” She turned to give Rainbow a gentile smile. “I thought you were bringing your boyfriend with you and I see Miss Dash. Did something go wrong with you two?”

“Uh,” trailed Rainbow as she scratched her head. “We uh-”

“I was showing them around and we lost track of time,” finished Twilight quickly. “We ran into um, Dusk here, who was kind enough to help us look for him.”

I tried to look the part of a stern guardspony.

“Hmm,” added the solar diarch as her eyes drew to me, “Dusk, may I have a word about your performance? Shining Armor, would you be so kind as to escort your sister and Rainbow Dash off the grounds?”

Shining Armor nodded. “Come on you two, maybe we’ll see your boyfriend on our way Twiley.” As both mares shot me pleading looks, the doors closed tightly.

“Now ‘Dusk’ what did you do to yourself,” commented Princess Celestia mischievously.

“Princess Celestia,” I replied a bit quicker than I probably should have, “I can explain.”

“I know you will Alexander, and please be sure not to leave any details out.”

I smiled sheepishly. “Okay, well the whole thing starts off with Twilight, Rainbow, and I thinking about our futures together.”

“So you and Twilight have hit a rough patch in your relationship then?”

“Well, no, actually we’ve all been together. It was a group decision. It stopped them from competing for my attention and-” I stopped as soon as I realized when I couldn’t close one of my wings. When I looked towards it, I noticed that she was examining my wing carefully. “Can I help you Princess?”

“How did you get like this,” she asked again as she ignored my growing scowl.

“The spell used to transform me into a pony seemed to have misfired a little,” I replied bitterly. I would be just fine with Twilight looking me over like a science experiment, but not Princess Celestia. I always thought she had far more control over her curiosity.

“I can tell, you have a horn as well as a lovely pair of working Nocturne pegasus wings. Such an endearing kind of pegasus, they aren’t very common but they are my sister’s favorite.”

“Well, the spell, it uh… I felt the world around me dissolve and where I arrived was a large circular room. In the room, I saw four mirrors, each displayed a type of pony. There was a straight to the point earth pony, a casual and somewhat carefree pegasus, a studious and very informative unicorn, and a… um… you see, the kind of people who-”

“What is it your people call Cadance, Luna, and myself?”

“Well, most call you three the alicorn princesses.”

“The remaining mirror showed you an alicorn then? A prince to stride among the mighty princesses,” she smirked, “is that what you are?”

“No ma’am, I’m a compromise. I wouldn’t say a completely successful compromise since I’m one of those Nocturne pegasi with a unicorn’s horn.”

“Oh I didn’t mean to mislead you; there are the Nocturne ponies, which you have several features of. The fuzzy ears, the predatory eyes, sleek dark coat and mane, these are all traits of the Nocturne ponies. One in one thousand is born with Nocturne traits as prominent as your own unless their parents were both Nocturnes themselves. So how did you compromise?”

“When I touched a mirror I would become that form of pony. The Alicorn mirror warned me that if I selected it, that I would draw danger to everyone I know like a magnet. He also said that if my powers were to grow too much, I would outlive all of my friends and family.”

“Yes,” Celestia replied somberly, “it is our fate, and our destiny. Power is a very dangerous thing, even if it’s for the good of everyone.”

“Well, I couldn’t handle doing something like that to either Twilight or Rainbow and right as I was about to pick my mirror, a fifth pony emerged. This pony wasn’t in a mirror, but simply an image. It told me that if I wanted to seriously compromise, I could touch the unicorn and pegasus mirrors at the same time. It theorized I would adopt traits of both with the inability to master all the abilities of a pegasus or unicorn.”

“I would’ve assumed that it would split you into two ponies: a pegasus and a unicorn. But what you are now is the result of your attempt to compromise and spend more time with both Twilight and Rainbow Dash equally correct?”

“Yes Princess Celestia. I love them both so very much and I don’t want one to think the other is more important to me.” As soon as I began to talk about how much I loved them I felt my wings unfurl and flare.

“I see, then only time will tell if you are gifted with either property. Please, send me a letter if you find one lacking too much and I’ll help sort you out.”

I paused, on the verge of taking a single step away from the solar diarch. No “you risked so many other ponies’ lives,” no “how could you be so reckless,” not even a condescending glare? It was actually strange when I fully realized that there was no lecture about doing stupid things.

“How about I take this one step at a time,” I said as soon as I saw Princess Celestia begin to depart. “If I asked nicely, could I get my horn back?”

She gave me the very look I had hoped to see, where she pitted me against myself. The very fact that I expected she would tease me with a moment of sanity was well worth putting everything in place. “You’ll have to earn your horn Alex,” she replied pleasantly. “Are you sure you want to fly instead?”

“If I don’t come back with a pair of sleek leathery wings then they may just kill me. Besides, mankind has never known the wonders of flight under its own power without some gimmick, I think it’s time one of us really learned what it meant.”

Princess Celestia smiled and in a flash, I watched the ebony horn fall to the ground. “It won’t be this ‘free’ next time,” she reminded as her horn lit up in its familiar golden light and I saw the horn disintegrate as quickly as it had hit the archives’ floor.

I gave her a very excited smile and practically skipped out of the archives, pausing only to open the doors. Maybe I was that one in a thousand ponies that was a Nocturne pony, maybe it was a consequence of being greedy and trying to choose both Twilight and Rainbow again. Whatever the actual reason was didn’t matter, I had stayed true to myself and that was good enough for me.

The chill of the winter air cut into my fur but I hardly noticed it as I retraced my former footsteps. My wings were itching for flight, I was outside and they felt so unused that they may as well have screamed for me to fly but I knew better. I didn’t know the first thing about flying and I could at least try and hold out for lessons.

*****

As soon as I caught up to the waiting trio of ponies, we all set out for Shining Armor and Cadance’s home. On the way, I made sure I caught them up to speed.

“So you gave up your horn,” asked Shining Armor.

I nodded. “Yeah, I thought it was for the best.”

“You sure Al,” added Rainbow. “I mean yeah, you’ve got those neat wings but you had both a horn and wings! That’s a lot of power-”

“and I should earn that much power,” I finished for her. “Between flying lessons and the curiosity that,” I made sure to pass Twilight a smug glance, “I can feel you radiating Twi, there’s plenty for us to do.”

“Just tell me one thing,” she pleaded, “I haven’t found out how there is this deviation from the other ponies. Did Princess Celestia tell you?”

“There’s a bit of a stigma about the Nocturne ponies,” answered Shining Armor. “Twiley, they aren’t very common and after Princess Luna returned they finally started to come out of their caves. It’s a touchy subject, a lot of ponies are afraid of them, like they’re bad luck.”

“Then I guess it’s really better that I let go of something,” I said pleasantly, “I’m enough of a lightning rod already.”

Twilight giggled as she pressed up against me. “That’s right.”

Rainbow casually landed beside me, parallel to Twilight. “The good news is that you’re our lightning rod.”

Shining Armor cleared his throat. “As heartwarming as this is, we’re supposed to take a left here.”

The three of us stopped dead in out tracks and laughed as we let him take the lead.

*****

“Of all the things to trot through those doors tonight this was the last thing I expected,” commented Cadance as Twilight and Rainbow nudged me forward.

“You should’ve seen him when I got my first look,” commented Shining. “He had a horn then.”

Cadance had begun to look me over, just like three other mares before her. “No offense Alex, but you’re stunning.”

“Cadance,” commented Shining hesitantly. “I think you meant not to offend me.”

Cadance had been holding open one of my wings and manually flapping it as he spoke. “I’m sorry Shining, but I didn’t want to offend Alex by invading his space like this. I mean,” she returned to flapping my wing like a toy, “when am I going to be this close to a Nocturne pony again?”

“How about when we start talking marriage,” muttered Rainbow. The comment caused Twilight to giggle and my face to light up.

“Shining, if you really want to know for yourself then I’ll just say it. If I could go back and pick either you or this slice of the night, I’d still pick you. He’s just got this effect.”

“Sorry Shining,” I said nervously, “it’s the exotic look. It can really affect some.”

“Or the bad boy look,” commented Twilight.

Rainbow agreed with an approving growl. “The exotic bad boy combo’s a nice match for this, what did you call him?”

“A slice of the night,” recited Twilight.

“Can we uh,” I gulped and tried to draw everyone else deeper into the house, “can we stop talking about how I look?”

No sooner had the question escaped my mouth when the doors opened up to show Twilight’s parents entering. “Twilight Sparkle,” huffed her mother, “what are you doing with this bat? I thought you were into humans or something.”

“Mother,” said Shining Armor sternly, “this is Twilight’s boyfriend. You need to sit down, relax, and let them explain everything.”

My eyes met Twilight’s fathers and neither of us had to say anything. His questions seemed reflected in his eyes and the fire in my own probably spoke volumes. “He’s a handsome stallion in his own right,” he said to try to placate his wife. “Well groomed, well mannered, far less imposing as any Nocturne pony I’ve seen. He’ll turn some heads, maybe shed some light for the Nocturne ponies. No offense intended Alex.”

“None taken,” I said pleasantly. “Can we all just enjoy a nice dinner tonight?”

Author's Note

For those who are curious about their wagers, I will clarify for you. Pegasus (Bat Pony)

23 - The Train Ride

Late on Hearth’s Warming Eve, a train departed Canterlot. Most of the cars were dark, their occupants either non-existent or asleep. The very center car however, still had one compartment lit. Somepony was still awake. There were three ponies cast under the illumination: one pegasus with a prismatic mane, one unicorn with a six pointed star cutiemark, and a third that was fast asleep. This third pony was different from the others, his leathery wings and periodically flicking fuzzy ears told that he was unlike any normal pony.

“Al spent all of dinner under your mom’s watch,” commented Rainbow Dash.

“I know,” replied Twilight, “but after we explained everything I couldn’t help you defend him a lot. I mean, you saw the looks my dad was giving me.”

Alex slept peacefully as the two continued talking.

Twilight smiled. “You know, I don’t really see why they’re so dark and spooky.”

“I know, I mean, my dad told me bedtime stories about them being all sinister and evil and stuff but he’s still Al.”

“I never really read much about Nocturne ponies. I found them mentioned in a book once and asked Princess Celestia about them when all it had to say was that they were considered unlucky and shunned. She told me that they are just like everypony else. They’re only scary if you don’t open your heart and see them for who they are: our fuzzy eared relatives.”

“Uh Twi, you wouldn’t be saying that if Al turned into a normal pony would you?”

“Seeing the episode that introduced Zecora, it reminded me that we can all be a bit close minded; that we all overreacted and didn’t treat something new and kind as anypony else. Seeing him, like this, it’s just the nail in the coffin; we need to be more open minded. Have you thought about how you’ll teach him how to fly?”

“A bit, but can I borrow some books on bats from the library?”

“Maybe you should just talk to Fluttershy. I mean she takes care of bats right?”

“Yeah, but she’ll ask a ton of questions. What’ll I say if she gets scared when I tell her what it’s for?”

“Fine, I’ll ask and take notes. If that’s the case, she might trust me more.”

“No, lemmie give it a shot at least. It’s not like she’ll flip immediately.”

“If she doesn’t, do you think she’d help you more?”

“Not there Twilight,” Alex mumbled in his sleep, one of his forelegs batting something away as he rolled over.

“What’s he talking about Twi,” asked Rainbow to her reddening friend.

“We uh, we fooled around a little while you were on weather detail one day,” explained Twilight. “He had this really sensitive spot right below his jaw.”

“Oh, I know that spot, a little over to the right of his throat right?”

“Yeah and-wait you didn’t… did you?”

“Hey, you were off spending time with Rarity and I was a little needy. So, we’re even now right?”

Twilight glared at Rainbow, but nodded. “Since he gave Spike the talk then yes, we’re even.” For once in her life, Twilight saw more than just a hint in the pegasus’ logic.

Alex flopped around a bit more on their bed before fumbling out and onto the floor. “Ow,” he said as he rubbed his head, “something up?”

“Yeah,” replied Rainbow as she helped him back into bed, “you are fuzzy ears.”

“We should all get some sleep while we can,” commented Twilight. “The last thing we want to do is show up in Ponyville and collapse from exhaustion at the train station in this weather.” She pointed a hoof out the window, revealing the heavy storm outside.

“Maybe with some company in bed you won’t be so restless.”

As snow continued to fall outside, the last light in the passenger cars flickered out; snuffed by a violet magical aura. The three ponies, bound for the town at the bottom of the valley, slumbered in the largest bed they could manage. Unfortunately, it-

“Hey get off my wing,” shouted Rainbow.

It-

“Sorry,” replied Alex.

It wasn’t the most comfortable for three ponies…

24 - The Price of Admission

What greeted us at the train station were the blinding dawn, our horrible group bedmane, and a very slack-jawed Pinkie Pie. The latter of those was even more than her conventional baffled look, which Rainbow was happy to prove.

“What’s wrong Pinkie,” Rainbow asked as she curiously nudged Pinkie’s lower jaw. We all watched it sway back and forth like a swing while we waited for a reply.

Pinkie raised a hoof and set her jaw back in place before even trying to answer. “Alley,” was the eventual question that escaped her lips.

“I think I’m going to see a pattern in the coming days,” I replied as I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t worry,” said Twilight coolly, “once Pinkie gets out of her initial shock she’ll just go back to being Pinkie.”

“Well, I got a shudder in my Pinkie Sense as the train pulled in,” added the still rattled party pony. “This is quite the doozy of a doozy, but not as much of a doozy as when Twilight believed in my Pinkie Sense.”

Rainbow, Twilight, and I all exchanged skeptical glances.

“Sleep,” I suggested to the two.

“Sleep,” agreed Rainbow with a very lazy nod. “Let’s deal with the ‘Nocturne thing’ when we’re all awake.”

Twilight’s yawn of a reply was a moot point. Rainbow Dash had made perfect sense of the encounter.

*****

I woke to the sound of something sizzling downstairs. The nostalgia that wafted into my ears screamed bacon before my brain even processed the smell. I knew the Apple family had pigs but I doubted they’d have some up for slaughter. Still, the sizzling sound was far better at waking me than Twilight playing with my ears.

“What in Equestria are you doing Twi,” I asked with a yawn. After the prior night, I had realized the pattern of ponies touching my ears and trying to mess around with my wings was far from over.

“Oh, um it’s just this is all new and I uh,” as she was talking, I slowly turned to stare at her reddened face. “Okay, your ears were freaking me out a little. Also, the book I found in the library says that excessive fur around the ears is a common problem for Nocturne ponies and it has to be trimmed regularly. I left tufts on the tips if you still wanted that little touch of fuzz.”

“There was a book,” I said dryly, “in the library. A book you haven’t read. Really Twi? Really?”

“It was on my desk waiting for me,” she admitted. “Besides, I’ve never read all the books in the library. Rarity and Fluttershy keep renewing their books every month so I haven’t read those.”

As my eyes grew more accustomed to the sunlight radiating from the window, her face became clearer and I saw an addition I didn’t expect. “How did you get that shiner? What happened Twi?”

“You uh, smacked me in the face with your wing when I woke up a couple of hours ago. Anyways, Rainbow said she’d get some fish going for you. She said that if you were like any other pegasus, the smell would get you up.”

I took in a deep breath, unintentionally smacking Twilight with my mane as my head swiveled back towards the doorway. “It smells fresh.”

“Yes, well, I’m sure Rarity will have a field day about your mane when she gets a look at you.”

“Why’s that?”

“It looks like you have a rug jutting out of you and it’s really messy. I mean, I can recommend some products to keep it nice, but Rarity will have books and stuff and-”

“The look on her face will be priceless,” interrupted Rainbow as she poked her head into the bedroom. “Food’s all done Al, get it while it’s hot.”

“Well, what about cleaning up,” objected Twilight.

“You get back on your icepack an’ Al can wash up after getting a bite to eat. Nocturne or not, he’s a pegasus and he needs to keep his energy up. That means he gets his fish, gets some fruit, and gets some coffee.”

I wormed my way out of bed and gave Twilight a sympathetic look. She replied with her own defeated frown and levitated an icepack over her black eye. “Once the swelling goes down I’ll go to Sweet Apple Acres to pick Spike up,” she told me.

When the three of us relaxed for, according to the clock, brunch both Twilight and Rainbow were helping me eat.

“I’ll be teaching you how to work with wings and hooves starting tomorrow Al,” Rainbow explained casually as she fed me another piece of fish.

As I swallowed the fish, I gave a blissful sigh. “Did you make all of this on your own Dashie?”

“Nah,” she replied coolly, “Twilight helped me a bit, but left the fish to me.”

“You said it was a ‘pegasus thing’,” Twilight objected.

“It is and I’ve tasted your earlier attempt, there was zero flavor to it. Also, you wouldn’t know how to fillet a fish even if it did it for ya Twi.”

“Dashie, apologize to Twilight for getting her mad,” I scolded just as Twilight’s horn lit up. “No offensive magic at the table Twilight.”

They both seemed to shrink a little in their seats as the aura emanating from Twilight’s horn faded.

“Sorry Alex,” said Twilight.

“I’m real sorry for calling you out on your fish Twi,” added Rainbow. “If ya want, I can teach you.”

*****

Much to my displeasure, both Twilight and Rainbow actually began my lessons in taking care of my new form as soon as brunch concluded. From taking the dishes to the sink to cleaning up, How to be a Pony 101 was in session once I was coherent enough.

“Miss them hands yet,” asked Dash as she ran a brush through my tail.

I glanced at her, toothbrush still in my mouth. “Nah, company’s better this way.”

“Good,” said Twilight as she imitated Rarity’s thinking face. “We can’t really hide your features that well.”

“Well duh,” Rainbow scoffed. “He has big bat wings and those are kinda hard to miss. Heck, I think even that dorky colt with the glasses could see ‘em without his glasses. Well, if he had a coat or something then maybe, but that’s even more suspicious.”

I leaned up on the sink and finished up with my teeth. “Twi can you help me with the floss?”

She rolled her eyes. “Only until you have your wings under control. Last thing we need is another injury while you try to do something.”

“Yeah,” added Dash with a snort, “last thing Twi needs is another black eye!”

I shot her a glare through the mirror. If I learned anything from the show about pegasi it would be that I’d have to wrangle in my emotions whenever somepony was trying to get me to overreact.

“You’ll be spending more time with him than me Rainbow,” Twilight reminded her. “You’ll be the one coming away with an injury if you laugh instead of teach.”

Rainbow gave a firm tug on the brush in my tail. “I hate it when you put it that way.”

*****

Waiting for us when we opened the front door was the very same pony who first greeted us at the train station. Pinkie Pie looked far more at ease this time, as I emerged from the house with Rainbow and Twilight flanking me like security.

“I’m really sorry for freaking out Alley,” she said. “Those wings are really real right?”

“Yes, they’re real,” answered Twilight, irked by the party pony’s question. “Alex turned into a Nocturne pegasus.”

Pinkie completely ignored Twilight, perhaps even before hearing the ‘yes,’ as I soon found my personal space violated by another pony physically inspecting my wings. “They’re super awesome,” she squealed.

“So you’re not scared or worried,” I asked as Rainbow batted Pinkie away from me.

“Nope, my Pinkie Sense told me that there would just be a doozy at the train station. I came to investigate instead of sweep the storefront at Sugarcube Corner. After you all left I went back to do my chores and got lectured to by Mrs. Cake about not thinking things through. But I actually was thinking things through! I mean duh, the store would look super-duper dirty if I was bouncing around from a shudder in my Pinkie Sense while trying to clean.”

I casually passed her, pleased to hear the door slam shut as I stepped off the porch. “Pinkie, I don’t want you to cause a big panic or anything by telling everyone that I turned into a Nocturne pony. Nobody wants a frightened mob on Hearth’s Warming Day right?”

“You mean aside from Discord,” suggested Twilight.

“Geez Twilight,” retorted Pinkie, “even though he’s a creepy jumble of creature parts he still has some class.”

When I glanced back to see how Pinkie reacted I was confused by how pleased she looked despite her, in my opinion, perfectly valid defense of Discord. “Shall we go through town or loop around to get to the farm?”

“How about just getting the staring over with,” replied Rainbow.

*****

Doors and shutters slammed shut as we, Twilight, Rainbow, and I, passed. Personally, I expected it.

“Not the best first impression,” Twilight said nervously.

“Prolly should’ve told everyone we’d be back with a pony,” commented Rainbow.

“Dashie, you know we couldn’t do that. Besides, it’s far easier to just have Pinkie scurrying around and telling everyone I’m safe.”

Twilight’s gaze was quickly fixed on the nearby boutique. “There’s no way we’ll get past Rarity unless we really go out of our way.”

“Not a chance Twi,” said Rainbow, “she can see clear down the road towards Sweet Apple Acres. Get it over with?”

“Might as well,” I replied with a defeated tone in my voice. “Why bother prolonging her speculation and criticism?”

“Sweetie would you be a dear and help me move this counter in front of the door,” proclaimed the fashionista as soon as she saw what was drawing close.

Sweetie Belle groaned as she remained at the window. “Rarity he’s flanked by-”

“Just-just help me!”

Reluctantly, Sweetie Belle vanished behind the curtains of Carousel Boutique to help her sister barricade the door.

I knocked on the door of the boutique for what seemed like forever.

“You sure someone’s in there Al,” asked Rainbow right before I tried again.

I paused, my hoof mere inches before the door. “I saw the curtains move Dashie,” I said calmly. “I may have spooked her, but even Rarity couldn’t bar the doors this fast right?”

“I don’t think so,” agreed Twilight. “If she had help then sure, but even with magic I doubt all the blinds would be closed and even then, there’s no way Rarity would ignore the door like this.”

Instead of knocking this time, I tried the doorknob. Much to Twilight and Rainbow’s amusement, I failed at doing even this simple task a few times before managing to twist the knob properly. What was curious to me was the sheer fact that the door was unlocked but something heavy was in the way of the door swinging open even enough to look inside.

“This has gone on long enough,” Twilight groaned. She trotted up to the nearest window and decided to raise her voice. “Rarity, I’m coming inside.” After making her declaration, she vanished in a quick flash of purple.

In Twilight’s absence, Rainbow and I put an ear to the barely open door. Our faces were so close together it caused me to blush profusely. I think it was fortunate for me that I had such dark colored fur, though in the back of my mind I knew that my coat may as well be non-existent to the rainbow maned mare.

“Twilight,” came Rarity’s muffled voice, “whatever brings you here on Hearth’s Warming Day?”

“How dare you barricade the front door and ignore us,” retorted Twilight angrily. “Alex is out there in the cold, we need your help, and you treat us to a counter in front of the door?”

“I tried to tell you,” screeched Sweetie Belle from indoors. “Some sister you are for not even trying to listen to me!”

As Rarity stammered in search of what to say next, I could imagine the scene unfolding inside. Rarity was most likely being cornered by both Sweetie Belle and Twilight from her foolish act of jumping to conclusions. Both unicorns with furious looks on their faces from the fashionista being inconsiderate of what actually lurks beyond her front door were already looking for Rarity to yield.

“He has you under some spell doesn’t he,” accused Rarity. “Where’s Alex, what has become of our kind and considerate former human?”

“Uh,” I said to the door, “I’m trying to get in Rarity. If you let us in I can try to explain while you fuss over my mane.”

“Yeah,” added Rainbow, “it’s a real mess.” She glanced over to me and gave me a feeble smile. “Feels so weird talkin to a door,” she whispered to me. All I did was snicker in reply.

By the time the counter was moved away from the door, Rainbow had gone over the bare basics of wing manipulation with me.

“So by the time you’re done-”

Rainbow nodded furiously. “You’ll be just as good as me. Just, you know, not as good at all of my stuff.”

Rarity gasped and saw me. “Such a travesty,” she said with a gasp before grabbing one of my forelegs and dragging me indoors. “We need to get you sorted out at once!”

Somewhere deep in the recesses of my mind a plea for help rang out, being snuffed out long before it reached my mouth by Rarity’s obsession for perfection.

*****

Rarity barely seemed to pay any attention to the tale of deception and uncertainty that we tried to tell her.

“All my hard work from when it grew out before, gone!” She had said the same thing repeatedly. Using her magic, she flattened my mane and let it fall naturally. “No, this won’t do. It looks far too gothic and, while your physique carries that sense, it doesn’t compliment your company.”

I could practically hear the gears whiling in her head as she tried to solve the riddle of my appearance. Part of me thought this had more to do with the grinding of her teeth than her actual thought process.

“Maybe we can,” she gave a hard tug of my mane with her magic and pulled it all back. “Yes, this should work!” Shortly after her exclamation, I felt my mane fall against my coat once more though still enveloped in her light blue magical aura. “Twilight, could you be a dear and get me a silver clasp?”

“Sure, where-”

“Bottom left drawer behind you,” the fashionista replied quickly. “A nice one please.”

I saw my mane in the mirror near me, awaiting something that Rarity wanted. It was pinched tightly in what any human would call a loose ponytail style. In my reflection, I saw a small silver filigreed clasp exchange magic and fall firmly into place right where my mane was held together.

“There we go,” Rarity said pleasantly, “not too rugged but still with an air of masculinity fit for any stallion. I know I told you last time I worked on your hair that you should use a fine brush, but now I suggest you to use a finer one and brush it before bed every night. I can also suggest several products to keep a glossy sheen if you want or perhaps you’d rather have a more muted texture to it?”

I gave a weak smile. “Do you have any suggestion for something to keep it kinda silky, but not really shiny?”

“Of course, I’ll send Lotus and Aloe a letter and it should be ready for you in the next few days. No mail on Hearth’s Warming Day and all.”

Rainbow groaned. “Are we done here already?”

“You should take a lesson from this work too Rainbow Dash,” answered Rarity harshly. “You must still have tons of knots in your mane and I can already see you aren’t keeping it as nicely as our little sojourn to Earth.”

Twilight giggled at the decidedly low blow Rarity sent Rainbow’s way.

“Well, not really,” retorted Rainbow defiantly. “I mean, kinda. Look, I’ve been trying but I’m not some fancy shmancy girly mare like you are Rare. I can’t just sit in front of a mirror for hours until I look great. I gotta do great things!”

“Uh huh,” replied Rarity absent-mindedly as a tape measure levitated to her side. “Hold still now, I’ll want to take your measurements since they’ve changed so much Alex.”

“Well yeah,” I told her, “I kind of shrunk, got longer, and grew wings in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Who are you going to see next, certainly not anypony in town; they must certainly be terrified of you.”

“We’re going to pick up Spike from Sweet Apple Acres,” said Twilight.

“Might be even worse than knockin’ on doors in town,” added Rainbow Dash. “I mean, you know what Granny Smith said about me the first time she saw me?

“Don’t you dare trust a pony that looks that flashy,” she added in a passable imitation of the Apple family matron.

25 - Seeking Harmony

Twilight, Rainbow, and I were unceremoniously thrown out of Carousel Boutique nearly as fast as our flip-floppy fashionista friend dragged me inside to clean me up.

“Geez what the hay was that all about,” harped Rainbow as she rubbed her butt. “A little warning next time Rare?”

I looked back at the precious source of warmth to see the blinds parting and Sweetie Belle waving at us cheerfully. “Dashie, you honestly expect her to change,” I asked with a smile.

“I can dream, or is that a crime all of a sudden?”

“Rainbow,” said Twilight before I could come up with something, “focus. We’re going to Sweet Apple Acres to get Spike remember?” We gave a collective shudder as we proceeded towards the Apple family farm, blinds closing and shutters slamming the whole time.

“So, how did you find out about Granny Smith talking about you behind your back Rainbow,” said Twilight as we passed by bare apple trees towards the farmhouse.

“AJ told me about it when I came to get an apple pie from her stand a couple days later, I wanted to congratulate my awesomeness on renewing my Daredevil’s License.”

As Twilight continued to inquire about everything the Apple family matron talked about, I was focused on the farmhouse ahead of us. Nothing was different from the few times I had gone there, as a human, but it hadn’t become clear enough to be certain.

I never intentionally avoided Sweet Apple Acres before, but as Rainbow continued to tell me about how long Granny Smith went on and on about simply how she was “flashy even for a pegasus” I wanted nothing more than to avoid this encounter more than anything else. One thing’s for sure, when I was human, Granny Smith seemed to have only one complaint: I was as good as taken. I thought she was just at that point in her life where she wants great-grandkids.

“-and that’s why I think Granny Smith reminds Pinkie about cider season.”

“That’s nice Rainbow,” said Twilight sarcastically. “Can you fly ahead and try to keep things calm this time?” After a brief nod we both watched Rainbow zoom off towards inevitability.

“Wanted to talk to me away from Dashie,” I asked the now grinning unicorn beside me.

“It’s just her turn Alex,” she replied pleasantly and trotted off ahead of me.

Maybe it was a trick of the afternoon daylight, but Twilight seemed more enticing than almost a day ago. As I trotted behind her, my mind wandered towards what I would’ve done with them in the morning. Those plans would’ve been nice, if we didn’t sleep instead.

Twilight cranked her head back and stared at me. “What are you thinking?”

I snapped out of the trance my mind trapped itself in with an abrupt halt. “What?”

“I’m not deaf you know, your hooves are also crunching on the loose ice and snow. What is bothering you?”

I started to shy away. “I uh, I think you’re more attractive than before.” I bit my lip. “You know, more than you were yesterday.”

“And Rainbow?”

“Dashie too, I saw you both and you were beautiful but now I feel it deeper. I yearn for you both, ready for… well…”

Twilight turned and smirked. “Anything?”

I nodded. “Before we go any further on this we should probably catch up to Dashie.”

Twilight nodded and continued side by side with me. “We’ll get to it sometime soon though.”

*****

As soon as Twilight and I caught up with Rainbow, I already saw her glaring at the front door. “AJ, I know you’re home cause I can hear Winona pawing at the door!” As I got closer, sure enough I could hear exactly what she said.

“AJ, I can hear Winona from here,” I yelled, drawing attention to the fact that I was ten feet away from Rainbow’s tail. “Sounds like we should sic Fluttershy on you for what you’re doing to your dear pet!”

Twilight pointed a hoof towards the second story of the farmhouse. “I wasn’t expecting that.” As Rainbow and I looked towards what she was pointing at, I saw something completely out of character for her. Applejack was looking down at us like she just got out of bed. After giving a feeble wave she vanished from sight.

“Seems like she’s more than willing to give us the benefit of at least talking to us,” I said pleasantly.

“But it’s,” Twilight cranked her neck around to see the clock tower, “going on two and Applejack is just waking up?”

“Well, has AJ ever lied to either of you? Like so seriously that you couldn’t tell she did?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” added Rainbow as she moved over to a window to stare inside. “I see Applebloom inbound, prolly beat AJ to the door.” Unfortunately for Rainbow, the door opened just as the words escaped her mouth.

“Hey Mac,” I said nervously as he stared at me. “Had a good Hearth’s Warming Eve?”

“What in the name of Celestia’s Sun and Luna’s Moon did you do to yourself,” he replied.

If I didn’t actually talk to the guy as often as I did then my jaw would have dropped. He was never one who would start a conversation, but if you managed to get him talking you found shutting him up to be your new challenge. “We went to Canterlot to turn me into a pony. It’s why Spike was supposed to be here and stuff.”

“Why in Equestria did you want to change?”

“Um, for uh familial reasons Mac.”

“And so you grew a pair of bat wings for that?”

“Then I’m the odd pony out I guess, compared to most of the other stallions around here at least. I mean, they all aspire to be big, tough ponies like you and here I am with my sharp eyes and leathery wings.”

“Ah bet it was hard getting through town cause yer so different,” added Applebloom as she rounded her brother. Applebloom silenced Big Mac with next to no effort, allowing her own cuteness to outshine his desire to talk.

“I think you know best how hard it was for Zecora to do the same thing Applebloom. Well, save for Zecora herself of course.”

“Uh-huh, what’cha plan to do about everypony in town then?”

“Pinkie Pie’s on that issue, even if she wasn’t asked to. She knows me and she knows everyone in town, therefore it’s best that we just let her do all the talking for now.”

“Step inside so we all can get a good look at ya Alex,” called Applejack from the comfort of the farmhouse.

As I stepped indoors, Spike was the first to get a good look at me. “Now that’s a transformation!”

“You ain’t natural,” harped Granny Smith from her seat near the fireplace. “Yer better, but it still ain’t natural.”

“Is it my wings,” I said with plenty of false shock.

“Ah think it keeps him unique,” said Applebloom.

“It ain’t the wings Applebloom,” Applejack explained. “It has everything to do with how he wasn’t a pony to begin with.”

I looked to Twilight then to Rainbow, willing to try and talk my own way out of this. “It’s an old spell Granny Smith, one from days when there was less of a divide between the races. I’m willing to wager that it’s an extension of a temporary spell to walk in another’s shoes, for creatures who liked the change enough to make it permanent.”

The apple matron glared at me. “Look here, you ain’t a pony in the first place so I don’t expect you to understand. Yer a human and you should’ve stayed that way.” I didn’t even flinch at her retort. “Magic like this can’t be good fer you, it doesn’t solve anything.”

“When I look in the mirror I see a pony who wants to start a family. I know two loving mares who want the same. Personally, I only want you to understand. I’m not here to seek your approval of what has happened, I just want you to accept it happened.”

The elderly earth pony’s eyes narrowed. “No regrets?”

“None,” I replied without a second thought.

“Well I think yer a fool living in a fairy tale, but yer smart enough to think for yerself.”

“Thank you for watching Spike for us,” I said with a curt nod. “Enjoy your evening Granny Smith.” I turned and didn’t even crack a smile as I left, Spike, Rainbow, and Twilight quickly tailing me.

“That could’ve gone better,” commented Rainbow as we passed the barren orchards.

“This isn’t a fantasy,” I said bitterly, “it’s life and we’re living it as best we can.”

“Yeah, if she can’t handle it then she’ll have to learn to pony up and deal with it.”

“Actually, I’m just worried about how they’ll receive us from now on,” said Twilight. I understood her concern, but Granny Smith wound me up pretty tight. “At the very least, it was a begrudging understanding.”

*****

As the four of us made our way home, I calmed down enough for Spike to get up and laze on my back.

“You sounded like you were ready for that as soon as she started talking,” said Twilight.

“Yeah, how’d you do that anyways,” added Spike.

“Well, I felt this voice in my head ring out about what to do and I went with it. It told me to open with the ‘looking in the mirror’ thing, try and incorporate my cutie mark into it and all.”

Twilight bit her lip. “Was it like your reflection Alex?”

“Not really, I think it might’ve been something like my cutie mark egging me on. Know of something like that?”

“Yep,” said Rainbow very quickly. “I hear it when I’m getting close to my maximum speed, reminding me that I’m about ready to level out. Kicks in just before my body starts telling me the same thing.”

“Cutie marks telling ponies things is just a myth,” Twilight declared. “You must just be feeling the strain in your head before it registers from your body Rainbow. Alex, we all know you aren’t naturally a pony and, based on what you’ve told me about your reflection’s communication, your subconscious must be more acute than anypony else’s.”

By the time we reached the house, Twilight’s rants about the seemingly impossible was fully spent. The moment we turned to head up the dirt path to the front door we saw Fluttershy waiting for us with Tank and Owlowiscious near her. One look at what was accompanying her friends was enough to make Fluttershy bolt towards her house.

“Al, take Spike inside now,” said Rainbow with a glare towards the quickly retreating canary colored shape.

“Rainbow, you head her off and I’ll cut off her retreat,” ordered Twilight. Despite my thoughts to the contrary, Rainbow merely nodded and shot off, leaving a rainbow colored trail behind her. “Don’t worry Alex, we’ll just bring Fluttershy back so we can talk with her. It’ll be just like her irrational fear of Princess Luna.”

As I watched her dart off towards Fluttershy’s home, I hoped it wasn’t like that at all. I didn’t have much say in it, but I knew both of them were trying to have the best of intentions at the moment. With a slow creak, I opened the front door and Spike passed through with Tank and Owlowiscious right behind him. I closed the door behind me and didn’t want to think a whole lot about what Rainbow and Twilight were planning to do if Fluttershy wasn’t willing to cooperate.

Fluttershy galloped harder towards her home than she ever had in her life. Nightmare Moon sent her ponies out to drag me away, she frantically thought. To her that seemed like the only reason for a Nocturne to be out in broad daylight. Far from her mind was the fact that Spike, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash were with him, much the same way that Alex had told them all about the planned transformation.

Just as her door came into view, so too did a cyan blur racing towards the same goal, dead set on blocking the demure pegasus’ path. “Easy Fluttershy,” said Rainbow Dash calmly. “You’re freakin out about nothing.”

“Stay back,” shouted Fluttershy without even a hint of hesitation. “You’re under a spell, being tricked by Nightmare Moon!”

“What? I thought we cleared this up already.” With a quick glance past her unusually assertive friend, Rainbow noticed her backup blink into view. “Fluttershy’s thinking crazy Nightmare Moon stuff again Twi.”

Twilight groaned and simply grabbed the normally demure, yet oddly stiff, pegasus by her tail and dragged her along with magic. “We have something we need to go over Fluttershy again.”

Despite Fluttershy’s best attempts to get away, as soon as Rainbow came up next to her and pushed her along she resigned herself to a lecture at the hooves of her ‘easily manipulated’ friends.

With Spike’s help, I had a pot of tea ready for Fluttershy’s willing or otherwise return to our humble home. As I poured the fourth cup, the front door opened to reveal Twilight with her horn aglow.

“You’re both under her control aren’t you,” came a rather hurtful voice that accompanied Twilight’s entrance.

“For the last time,” harped Rainbow as she slammed the door shut, “I swear if anypony’s being mind-controlled it’s gotta be you! Princess Luna’s not Nightmare Moon and we’ve just had a very creepy day.”

“Yes, we’ve been practically ostracized by all of Ponyville for probably the same reason you declared,” added Twilight as she led Fluttershy, who I now noticed as Twilight’s hostage into the dining room. It felt a little reminiscent of Luna Eclipsed, but with less Royal Canterlot Voice.

“Have a cup of tea or something Fluttershy,” I said calmly as soon as I saw her. “Two scoops right?”

She nervously nodded her head and took a seat furthest away from where I stood. Twilight calmly levitated a cup of tea, laden with two scoops of sugar gently mixed into it, beside her. “Who are you,” she declared as soon as she finished a very nervous sip.

I took a seat opposite of her. “The same person I’ve always been Fluttershy. How else would I know how you liked your tea? How else would I know you liked peppermint in it? Why would they drag you over to our house?”

“Blech, you mean this stuff has peppermint in it,” said Rainbow just before she took a sip of her own cup.

“I would’ve made separate batches if I had the time Dashie, especially since you like something as unconventional as a dash of paprika and hate anything too sweet added to yours. I would’ve made your favorite blend of yarrow, lavender, spearmint, and anise hyssop as well Twi.” Twilight blushed at my recitation, she knew Rainbow considered it a ‘lovey-dovey’ blend but didn’t argue the fact that it calmed the unicorn under most circumstances.

“You could’ve gotten that information from them after you manipulated them,” retorted Fluttershy.

I tried to look my most sympathetic, knowing full well who I was dealing with. “I believe you told me that I’d have you to answer to if I hurt them Fluttershy. I think you can be a bit friendlier towards me since I haven’t. You on the other hoof seem dead set on hurting everyone present’s feelings.”

Fluttershy opened her mouth several times, words seeming to have failed her. Well, at least until her cheeks turned pink. “Tell me something you haven’t told anypony else.”

I pursed my lips as I thought about it carefully. The repercussions of what I might say would eventually echo out to all of Ponyville if I said anything too sensitive. “After Twi, Dashie, and I got together you told me you were jealous and wanted to get involved if anypony wanted to leave.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, my hooves quickly made their way to my snout. This reaction was accompanied by Spike leaving the room, stomping up the stairs as he withdrew.

“Oh dear,” said Twilight as her face began to take on a color resembling a beet.

Fluttershy on the other hoof didn’t look fazed at all. “Anything else you care to share?”

I quaked in my seat as the trio of mares stared at me. “Time Turner was your first and you broke his forelegs when you found out he was cheating on you with Bon Bon.”

Fluttershy merely nodded. “Thank you Alex,” she said pleasantly. “I believe that that’s you now.”

I simply gulped as my desire to slink out of the room started to become apparent. Instead, I took a sip of my tea and remained tight-lipped. I was on the verge of saying other things but I wanted to stop there.

“What else can you share Al,” asked Rainbow.

Fluttershy went red at the idea of her friends ferreting out more information. “You don’t have to tell them,” she said quickly.

I continued to quiver in my seat; my mind was filled with so many secrets shared in the spa’s steam room. Not just from Fluttershy, but also Rarity’s deep, dark secrets. At first, Rarity was the one who objected to substituting vodka for water in there, but she quickly found the subtle inebriation far more soothing.

“Rarity wanted to punish you Dashie for stranding her in the desert with Pinkie Pie pestering her all the way back to Ponyville,” I squealed before I shut my eyes and covered my mouth again.

“So happy I don’t swing that way,” said Rainbow calmly. “Rare’s my friend, no way I’d let her do stuff to me. ‘Sides that’s why I like men, far more primal than some mare’s wants.”

Twilight nodded. “Despite our only experience with the male body is Alex.”

“Yeah, but it works properly, we mate and savor each other’s body unless we’re in heat. At that point we start to worry more about getting knocked up if we aren’t ready for foals yet.”

“Rarity wants to wait for Spike to get more mature before even dating him,” added Fluttershy before taking a calm sip of tea. “She confided in us both that she swings both ways but is more interested in a man for a real relationship. I admire her determination to wait it out and let Spike mature some more.”

“Yes, she wants to wait for him to be more willing to have children,” I added.

“Secrets galore,” said Twilight with a smirk. “What else do you want to share?”

I couldn’t hold it in anymore, it just had to be said. “According to Rarity, after their disastrous Hearts and Hooves Day caused by the Crusaders, Cheerilee and Big Mac stopped seeing each other openly.”

“Oh?”

Fluttershy set her cup down. “She heard that they were found ‘getting it on’ by Applejack one night a few months ago during Apple Bucking Season.”

Rainbow’s lips curled into a wicked smile.

“You’ve got to Pinkie Promise you won’t share any of this with anyone girls,” Fluttershy added hastily.

Rainbow’s grin faded quickly as she looked across the table to Twilight before looking back to us, both of them silently swearing not to tell a soul.

“Actually, I think telling Spike about Rarity’s interest in him might not be so bad,” I said. “He’ll be more inclined to keep dreaming about it and not pursue some other girl more his age. You know, tell him once he really starts to mature.”

Fluttershy cleared her throat. “We discussed this with Rarity already, she wants to tell him herself when she’s ready; wanting to see the look on his face when she says it after a romantic dinner date.”

I sighed calmly. “That’s all I’m willing to share girls.”

Fluttershy slipped out of her seat and made for the door. “Thank you for the tea Alex, it really put my mind at ease about saying all those things.”

Author's Note

Welcome back to the gutter, population: all of you!

27 - That Special Something

Despite my best efforts, it took two weeks to get a pony from town to talk to me without screaming in terror. Sadly, this pony was Lotus who merely smiled, passed me a box of mane and coat care products, and told me not to be a stranger.

Even Pinkie had grown to find this irritating past day one, granted she never openly showed it. “Don’t worry Alley, they’ll come around,” she always said whenever she saw a door slam in my face.

Rarity’s solution seemed quite the opposite though…

*****

The fashionista pursed her lips as she placed fabrics near my coat. “It’s so hard to make something match and not make you seem intimidating. I’ve gone through countless designs to help present you with a gentler demeanor but I just haven’t had any luck seeing it work.” Between bolts of cloth whirling around us, I saw dozens of mannequins with bat wings attached to them, each with a different ensemble.

“Rare, aren’t you blowing this out of proportion,” I asked her nervously.

Rarity scoffed. “Not in the least, I know your next plan will be your proposal. Have you thought about how you’ll do it?”

“I talked to Fluttershy about pegasus traditions when proposing and she slammed the door in my face. It wasn’t an angry sort of slam, but more like she didn’t want to talk about it while looking bright red and stuttering a lot. Can you help me at all? I mean, I’ll need unicorn info as well so…”

“You’d rather hear it first hoof instead of out of a book so you can do things proper correct?” I simply nodded. “Well, when a stallion proposes to a unicorn he presents them with a gold ring. Nothing fancy, we save that for the wedding after all. I’m sure Twilight will be more interested in you playing by the books so that should satisfy her.” She bit her lip as she appraised a deep blue fabric. “I’m not an expert about pegasus proposals, especially since you don’t have feathers. What I’ve read and seen about it is weaving one of your secondary feathers with silver bands and some of your mane. If the pegasus accepts it then they wear it in their mane, showing that they’re spoken for and planning more than their engagement.”

“Well, that’s problematic since all I have in terms of feathers is well, absolutely nothing.”

“My thoughts exactly, didn’t Twilight get you books regarding mares a few months ago? You know, written by mares to help stallions.”

“Posey doesn’t talk about courtship, just dating and myths about enjoying a mare’s company. You know; the intimate kind of company.”

Rarity giggled. “You would’ve benefited from Lovestruck’s books more. She has a series of books dedicated to courtship of all sorts. She has essential chapters in every book about polygamy.”

I sighed as a bolt of blue cloth draped over my body. “I bet the library has them but there’s no way I could get to them without Twilight knowing what I’m up to and the bookstores still won’t open up for me.”

“I could introduce you to Lovestruck if you’d like. It isn’t like the jewelry store will let you purchase anything anyways.” She carefully examined the cloth and smiled. “How does that feel Alex?”

“It’s very nice, breathes and doesn’t seem to stick to my body like a second skin.”

Rarity giggled as she rolled the bolt of cloth back up and set it near the door to her workroom. “I think I’ll do a play on the royal guard formal attire. Now, would you like to meet Lovestruck or not?”

“Is she in town or will we be taking a trip somewhere?”

“Oh she lives in town, but getting past the door will be the hard part. If she can help you then I can help you with the stores.”

I smiled broadly, flashing my razor sharp canines. “What are we waiting for then, we’re burning daylight.”

*****

Per Rarity’s instruction, I held back from a quaint two-story house near the fringe of Ponyville. In this house dwelled a mare that specialized in helping lovers together in a completely different capacity than Princess Cadance. As Rarity knocked on the door I waited patiently, remembering to get a ring for Twilight.

The unicorn who opened the door had an off color white coat and glistening lime colored eyes. “Rarity, what brings you here? My next book won’t be ready for another four months.”

“Oh thank Celestia you’re here Lovestruck. I have a friend who could use your advice.”

Even from where I stood, I could see the unicorn give me a wary look. “It isn’t that bat is it?”

“Come now Lovestruck, isn’t your motto that you can help anypony find love?”

Lovestruck groaned and glared at me. “Well, what are you waiting for mister…”

“Alex,” I said as I approached.

“We’re working on a more pony-esque name for him,” explained Rarity.

Lovestruck blinked. “Wait, so you’re the human who lived in town?”

“Yes, but the problem at hoof is something I’d like to discuss.”

Lovestruck smiled. “Well, come in you two.”

As soon as I stepped into Lovestruck’s home, I was hit with a strong peppermint smell. The smell alone made my head spin.

“Sorry, I know it’s strong for you.” Lovestruck’s voice was soothing and felt like it guided me from the haze of the overpowering smell. “I mean, I’ve done a little homework on Nocturnes but I don’t have a ton of details. If I know Miss Sparkle half as well as I think I do, she has more overall information.”

“Well, I think we should just get down to business then Lovestruck. I want to propose to two ponies an-”

“The two who are always with you, Miss Dash and Miss Sparkle I mean.”

“Yeah, I mean I know Rarity’s probably read your books regularly but I have no clue with how to propose to them both. I mean, I’m a pegasus, but not exactly, you know.”

“Let’s see,” Lovestruck’s horn ignited in a soft pink hue and she summoned a book called Lovestruck’s Guide Volume IV: Feathered Love over to her side. “I know Miss Dash is from Cloudsdale originally so let’s see what they do specifically.” She cracked the book open and ran her hoof down the table of contents. “I’m sorry, but I’m not like Miss Sparkle who may have read my books thousands of times and memorized every word. A lot of this book in particular was gathered second hoof from pegasi all across Equestria. After my unicorn and earth pony books went so well they were more than willing to contribute. Hmmm let’s see, ah here’s what you want: modern Cloudsdale engagement traditions.” I stared at the book with Rarity looming over my shoulder we read in silence.

Of all pegasi, those of Cloudsdale have the most peculiar proposal habits. While most immediately seek out other pegasi, content to remain in the lofty heights of their home, some fall for mates closer to the ground. Proposing to a more earthbound Cloudsdale pegasus is difficult since she will be expecting a pegasus’ proposal. A good alternative is a small personal item that she can wear in her mane.

“Do you have something like that Alex,” Rarity asked as she finished reading.

“Wait a sec,” I said to her as I glanced at the bottom the page.

Cloudsdale Tips for Polygamy:
Most peculiar of all relations among ponies from Cloudsdale is their tendency to be interested in monogamy, becoming fiercely territorial over their mate. An earthbound mate interested in a pony born and raised in Cloudsdale and another mare should approach them at the same time and present their token to the other pony first. The pegasus’ territorial desires will find the great importance of stretching their boundaries as soon as they see their own token of affection. After this point, there is no concrete difference between regional customs and pegasi as a whole. Best of luck.

I gulped hard and glanced to Lovestruck. “So, ‘best of luck’ is all you can say?”

She shrugged as Rarity glanced over the end of the page. “I told you, I’m not a pegasus and I’m not from Cloudsdale. I just have my sources to work with and this information’s only a year old before you ask me. Good luck Alex, please tell me how Miss Dash takes it,” her eyes drifted to Rarity, “lest I pry it from the Gossip Queen herself.”

*****

Rarity smiled as she trotted ahead of me though the empty market. “We can try to gather the materials today or we can plan it out for tomorrow Alex.” She looked back and stopped. “What’s wrong?”

I heaved a sigh. “Nothing’s ever small with Dashie.”

“But you have to have some token or keepsake you could give her.”

I wracked my brain for something, anything at all that I could use. “I don’t know, can we get Twilight’s ring for now and I’ll keep thinking about Dash’s token.”

“No, I think you should-”

“We’re going now but I want you to please keep it at your boutique for now. You know, I want to surprise them and everything.”

“You’ll think of something for Rainbow? I know you don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

“More like I’ll have to sneak it out when I find it,” I said with a broad grin. It wasn’t like anything else in Equestria, the ignition key for my sports car, her absolute favorite.

28 - A Very Special Night

After my trip to Lovestruck’s with Rarity, not to mention the subsequent mouthing off Rarity gave to the jeweler’s when they tried to ignore us, word started to get around that the ‘creepy looking’ pegasus was just Alex. Personally, I was just happy to be free of ponies slamming doors in my face. I mean I already had almost everything in my life in place. I had two very lovely mares, willing to bend over backwards to help me adjust. I had my house that hasn’t failed to provide comfort, even that one time in the basement against the cool stone floor.

I even have a pretty nice job, which I returned to as soon as Dashie thought I was ready. She said I was ready just after Winter Wrap Up, just so I didn’t have to pull double-time on the clock and preparing for spring. That being said, I didn’t forget my plans and I took the first opportunity I had to swipe the sports car’s key without anyone seeing me and darted over to the boutique.

*****

“Nopony saw you,” muttered Rarity one dark, moonlit night.

“Of course not,” I replied.

“Do you have it?”

I revealed a small pouch I had hidden under my wing. “How long are you willing to help me tonight?”

Rarity stepped away to let me in and shut the door behind me, the bag with the key wrapped in her magic. “A few hours, but Twilight tried to figure out what you’ve been up to over the last few weeks. She doesn’t know you’re coming here if that’s that you’re thinking, but she knows you’re coming into town.”

“Then we should wrap this up quickly,” I smiled and withdrew the simple bands of silver and a lock of my mane from a drawer. “At least I know I can trust you with this little secret Rare.”

Rarity came up beside me as I set the trinkets on a table. “A key,” she said as she slipped it out of the pouch. “What’s so special about this key?”

“It’s the key to my sports car; we always went out in it back on Earth.” I smiled. “She loved the speed and I loved the way she looked with the wind in her mane while sitting beside me.”

Rarity giggled and set the key down in the middle of my materials. “I didn’t expect your choice to be this small. Nevertheless, I have a few ideas for you.”

“I was thinking of weaving the bands through the slot on the top of the key and wrapping the threads of my mane along them. From there we can just add a little clasp and that’s that.”

“That was my idea,” she pouted.

I glanced over to her, a smirk upon my muzzle. “You know what they say about great minds right?”

Rarity nodded. “Can we do some decorative work at least?”

“Of course,” I replied happily, “anything to make it look spectacular.”

*****

By the time I returned home, it was nearing on one in the morning. I creaked the front door open as quietly as I could, but soon found myself face to face with Twilight at the other end of the front hall.

She glared at me and quietly closed the door with her magic. “And just where have you been sneaking off to,” she hissed.

I merely smiled. “It’s a secret. However, you’ll find out on Saturday evening. It’s about something special I want to say over dinner at Ceviche.”

Twilight’s glare didn’t waver, though I know I could see curiosity overwhelming her anger. “Alright, but I don’t want you in bed with us tonight. Rainbow isn’t as angry as I am, but I want you to know she is.”

“So is it for my safety or because you’re both mad at me?”

Twilight didn’t even give me the courtesy of an answer as she headed upstairs.

I sighed and retreated to the third floor to sleep alone. I knew deep down that they’d change their minds by dinner at their favorite restaurant.

*****

I didn’t want either of them to uncover their gifts so I left them under Rarity’s watchful eye. It’s not like I didn’t trust them, I just wanted to surprise them. Saturday was something very special to me: it was a little before Hearts and Hooves Day, which I wanted to avoid proposing on that day for several clichéd reasons.

“Let’s face it, you’d think those two would have more faith in me,” I said to Fluttershy that Tuesday over a massage.

“Is… is it about that thing you told me about,” she replied.

“Yes darling but I keep asking you why you won’t just wait for Hearts and Hooves Day,” interjected Rarity from a short ways away with her mask being applied carefully by Aloe. “That is the most romantic day of the year after all.”

I squirmed at a sudden jolt of pressure at the base of my wing. “That’s overdone Rarity and you have to admit even Dashie would see it coming a mile away.”

Fluttershy cleared her throat and managed to draw my eyes once more. “Aren’t there better places to do it than Ceviche?”

“I’m not exactly getting paid a ton this month and Spike’s just overjoyed that new gem store in Canterlot does delivery all the way out here. Then there’s Twi’s stipend cut, it’s not good if they take it how I hope they do.” Princess Celestia had cut Twilight’s stipend some after she caught wind that I had fully adjusted to my new body.

“Well, you can always count on Pinkie if they say yes,” commented Lotus as she dug her hooves into my back a little harder than she probably intended.

I glanced over to Rarity, her eyes now covered by slices of cucumber. “What about you Rare?”

Rarity sighed. “It depends on how much I have to work. It’s bad enough doing as many wedding orders that I get this time of the year. Wedding dresses for two of my friends, especially those two, will be daunting. What about making it all work together? It will be a nightmare if I get any more orders.”

“I’ll um,” Fluttershy’s soft voice drew my attention, “I’ll try to get my choir ready if that helps.”

“Thanks Fluttershy,” I said calmly. “Any help is something I’d love.”

*****

At least Twilight and Rainbow calmed down enough to let me back into our bed Wednesday night. Unlike Twilight, who still didn’t seem too forgiving whenever I looked at her, Rainbow was all for making up.

“Twi, it’s not worth it without everypony,” Rainbow whined as she leaned over me.

Twilight simply replied by tightening her grip on the covers.

“Aww c’mon, I forgive Al and so should you. Face it, Ceviche’s the ritziest place we can afford on our budget right now.”

“Good night Rainbow,” Twilight said sternly.

“Al, can we go upstairs?” Even in the dark, I could see Dashie’s pleading look.

I gave her a soft kiss. “You were right; it’s not the same without all of us. Our hearts pounding and the pheromones pulsing, it isn’t the same without Twi.”

Dash flopped down on top of me and groaned. “Saturday better be worth it Al.”

I stroked her prismatic mane. “Don’t worry.” I reached out with my free hoof and tried to pull Twilight over but met with no success. I hope so, I silently added.

*****

When Saturday came around, I had already rehearsed the whole thing in my head countless times. Our reservations were at eight, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and Twilight was at least acting hospitable now. With how our budget was looking I was happy that there weren’t a lot of really romantic restaurants in Ponyville. I mean, we could’ve gone to Canterlot or someplace, but I wanted us to be here in Ponyville when I asked. Besides, it isn’t like we could afford a place in Canterlot anyways.

“Spike, you’ll be on your own for dinner,” I overheard from the bedroom’s adjoining bathroom.

“Aww come on Twi, we’re out of emeralds and I’m sick of leftovers. Couldn’t you have at least given me some bits so I could try and get some rubies for tonight?”

“Rainbow and I agree, much like your veggies, fish is very healthy for you. Besides, you know how rubies give you indigestion if they aren’t with anything else.”

“But Twi, we never ate fish before living here with Alex and Rainbow.”

“It’s rich in things that are good for you and you don’t want to be rude to Rainbow do you?”

“Well no, but what about Alex?”

I set Twilight’s ring and my gift for Rainbow on the counter and quickly put my ear to the wall. I longed to hear her answer, praying to everything that she wouldn’t push me to regret the bits I spent on the ring.

“I don’t know, Alex-he’s just well… he’s up to something but I’m afraid that he’s seeing somepony behind our backs.”

I sighed and creaked open the bathroom door. “Why would I Twi? Look, I know I’ve been sneaking out a few nights, but you have to believe me it was for something really important.” I also knew that if I was dealing with Dashie I could edge closer to the reason, but Twilight was brooding over it enough as is. “Just trust me on this okay?”

Twilight bit her lip but nodded. “Can I use the bathroom now Alex?”

I gave her a warm smile. “Let me just put my toothbrush away and it’s all yours.” In reality, I’d be sneaking my proposal gifts under my wing long enough to get dressed.

*****

Rarity prepared something nice for me, especially nice for such a rush job. To my left was Twilight, dressed in a nice red dress. Opposite her was Rainbow with her mane pulled back and wearing a sparkling deep blue dress that caught the light from the setting sun perfectly. With my mane pulled back and my sleek black coat I felt suddenly aware of just how overdressed we were. Ponies that regularly went to Ceviche didn’t exactly dress up, but it was the best in our price range.

The ponies out on the patio shot us strange looks, many of them wearing nothing at all. Only after entering did we find a pony as dressed up as us: Rarity. She was leading another unicorn out of the restaurant, one that seemed mesmerized at his luck of being with her.

I give him through the weekend, I thought as I tried my hardest to keep my composure in the presence of the master of the one night stand.

As Rarity passed me, I heard the barest whisper from her lips. “Good luck.”

I smiled as we passed each other and I made my way up to the hostess. “Ah, you’re right on time,” she said pleasantly. “Everything’s all ready for you so if you’ll all follow me.”

She led us to a nice table overlooking the slowly rising moon, Rainbow and Twilight sitting opposite of me. Even if Rainbow already was willing to forgive me, her choice in the seating arrangements begged to differ.

*****

About halfway through my entrée, I rose from my seat and came around between Twilight and Rainbow. “Girls, there’s something really important I want to say.”

They exchanged skeptical unamused glances. “Oh come on,” grumbled Dashie, “dragging us all the way out here. You’ve gotta be dumping somepony.”

“Out here would be good,” Twilight analyzed, “making sure we don’t make a scene in front of everypony.”

I shook my head slowly as I tried to keep myself together. “Twilight Sparkle,” I said as I showed her the golden band I selected weeks prior, “will you marry me?” I caught Rainbow’s glance as her mouth dropped and oozed a bit of food onto her napkin.

“All this time,” Twilight said in a weak voice, “this is what you’ve been up to.” I simply nodded in response, eager to hear her answer. She levitated the ring up and let it slide in place on her horn. “Of course I will.”

My glance shifted towards Rainbow. “Rainbow Dash,” I showed her my labor of love but she stopped me from asking as she practically leapt from her seat to wrap me in a tight hug.

“Yeah fuzzy ears,” she said before giving me a quick noogie, “course I’ll marry you!”

As soon as the words escaped her mouth, Twilight joined her in squeezing the life out of me. Despite them, I could hear only the other patrons’ applause. To everypony else I may just have been formerly a human and both Twilight and Dashie may have been known as bearers of two of the Elements of Harmony. As I draped my wings around them however, I thought about nothing but the fact that they said yes. We would have to commit our spare funds for quite a while on the preparations for our wedding, not to mention the subsequent honeymoon. I was hoping for some charity on the side of our friends though.

“Now I really gotta drag you both to see my mom and dad,” said Rainbow with a little sniffle.

“Are you crying Rainbow,” commented Twilight as she began to loosen her grip under my wing joint.

“No way,” replied Rainbow as she gave me a tighter tug. “You owe us for earlier though,” she added to Twilight in a hushed voice.

I never doubted Dashie to forgive Twilight for giving us the cold shoulder earlier. Well, okay I doubted it for a little bit.

29 - Twilight Sparkle: The Next Morning

Twilight Sparkle stared at herself in the mirror the next morning. She hadn’t removed the golden band on her horn that now glittered in the sun. To her waking mind, the proposal just hadn’t sunk in yet. The night prior wasn’t exactly kind to her desire to remember just one event.

When he said it I couldn’t believe it, she thought. Why couldn’t I see that coming? I was sure he was up to something, but I had no idea it was engagement.

Twilight focused on the top drawer of the door-side nightstand and summoned to her side a plain looking book. After cracking the book open, she levitated over a quill and inkwell. “Let’s see,” she said in a whisper, mindful of the awkwardly sleeping tangle of cyan and ebony fur still on the bed. Twilight’s gaze drifted down the page her book was opened to:

Agenda: Version 938

There were several things already checked off, some were scratched out, and countless more remained. “Here we are, ‘Engagement,’” she said with a pleasant flick of her magic checking it off. “Next is,” Twilight paused as she stared at the already present checkmark on ‘Move In.’ “Okay, moving along we have ‘Preparations for Wedding’ and ‘Apologize to Pinkie.’” She sighed as she made a mental calculation on how many times she’d have to say it. “Sorry Pinkie,” she rehearsed, “but the last thing I’d like right now is a bachelorette party.”

Twilight continued to run down her checklist to make any final alterations but found her eyes always drawn to one particular line: ‘Honeymoon.’ Her thoughts drifted towards everywhere they would want to go and everywhere they could afford.

“I’ll have to write to Cadance, I’m sure she’ll have tons of ideas,” Twilight said to herself happily. Twilight returned her gaze to the sparkling band and carefully levitated it off her horn and placed it beside Rainbow’s new accessory.

As she hopped from her seat, more of the previous week trickled into her mind. Fresh memories of her mood burning the whole time she passed the slumbering pegasi to the bathroom and draw a bath. Anger on Monday, jealousy on Tuesday, concern on Wednesday, suspicion on Thursday, and Friday culminated in fits of worry. Guilt filled Twilight’s mind as she stepped into her warm bath.

“If I wasn’t so negative all week I would’ve seen it coming,” she mumbled.

“I was afraid you would Twi,” said a voice at the doorway that caused her to jump.

“Alex, don’t you know better than to sneak up on ponies?”

“Did you like the ring?”

“I thought it was a bit much, did somepony help you pick one out to fit my horn?”

Alex nodded. “Rarity helped me out with everything. Gave me her opinion, helped me with a bit of the intricate work, and kept everything secretive from both of you.”

“Why-”

“Why must you always know the why of things,” he asked with a smirk while slowly advancing to the tub.

“Wha-what are you doing,” Twilight said as her face turned bright red.

Alex leaned up on the side of the tub. “Why picking up where we left off last night Twi. Is something wrong with that?”

“I’m trying to get clean Alex.”

“We can save that for afterwards.”

Twilight gave the former human a brief nod and quietly closed the bathroom door with her magic while he joined her in the tub. “Not too hard, I don’t want to wake Rainbow,” she whispered in his ear.

“Forgive me?”

Twilight nodded again before kissing him.

31 - Planning

I meant it when I decided to commit to a polygamous relationship, and after poring over years of polygamous marriage information I realized I may have bit off more than I could chew on the latter. Thankfully, I could count on everyone involved stepping up when something became too stressful. Over the next several weeks Twilight, Rainbow, and I assembled a plan to handle everything. I had counted on Twilight to get it all under control in a week or so, but sometimes the truth is stranger…

“If we follow Rainbow’s plan we should have everything organized and under budget,” Twilight said happily as we did our best to distance ourselves from Carousel Boutique. “I don’t know when she managed to come up with it, but this is one very solid plan.”

“She has a lot on her mind,” I replied. “So, you think Dashie’s budget factored in the discount Rarity gave us?”

Twilight consulted a small book in her saddlebag. “According to this, she hadn’t considered that. I’m sure that we may uncover other miscalculations as time goes by but that doesn’t seem like something she expected.”

I chuckled. “I don’t think Rarity expected to find out the whole plan was Dashie’s to begin with.”

“If you told me that Rainbow would have a wedding plan the day after you proposed then I would have called you delusional. This is what we get for expecting less from her isn’t it?”

“No, this is what we get for underestimating what she does when everyone else thinks she’s napping. So, did you send them in the right order Twi?”

“The one we sent last night is something I hope we receive a reply for tonight. The other two are quite interesting, and the instructions, I don’t know if she’ll follow directions this specific. Alex, you are asking a lot of Princes Luna.”

As we rounded the corner, I saw Pinkie waiting for us outside her own house. Forget notions of her living in some guest room with the Cakes. Pinkie needs extra space to store all the extra party supplies she needs on a regular basis.

“You two are late,” she said sternly as we reached her.

“That was my fault Pinkie,” replied Twilight, “Rarity held me back to discuss flower arrangements and bouquet designs.”

Pinkie nodded casually as she led us into her home. Not a trace of dust could be found inside the very organized party center that she called her house. Streamers of every color neatly stacked, glitter in large glass jars, sorted and labelled by color and grain size, the front room was far from what you would call Pinkie’s place. She continued to lead us along and there was no real trail of spontaneity to be found until we came upstairs. In severe contrast to the first floor’s organization, the second floor was a valiant effort to keep countless party supplies from destroying any clear path through the hallway.

Pinkie eventually stopped at a door that looked like someone completely painted it in blue crayon. “In here is where we can work on things I can manage.” Twilight and I both looked at each other and then nodded. “What we do in here is make the reception the best reception ever.” She opened the door and slipped inside.

When Twilight and I went in after her, we were once again in the oddly clean residence. This time, there were sketchpads and notebooks across several tables.

I gave a low whistle. “Where should we begin Pinkie?”

“I was thinking we should do the cake,” she replied. “I have so many ideas for it and I’d like your feedback on as many of them as you can.”

“For once I’m happy you tried to convince me into seeking revenge,” commented Twilight as she flipped through a sketchpad that seemed to have a corner chewed off. “I think it’s only fitting that they find out this way.”

All I did was smile as I carefully examined the sketches of cakes in a notebook. “Where’s your codebook for all these notes Pinkie? I can’t read any of this stuff in red crayon.”

Pinkie came up beside me and looked it over. “They’re just random thoughts for what kind of cake it should be, models I’ll need to commission, and other little details. After I have everything figured out, I’ll let you know. Wedding cakes are extra super special one-of-a-kind things and I’m more than happy to make one for all of you at a discount. Not a huge discount since Mrs. Cake will yell at me, but I’m sure she’ll understand a reasonable one.”

“Why can’t you make it here?”

“If I made cakes for parties here then Sugarcube Corner would lose more than half of its revenue and before you could say ‘triple fudge ripple,’ the Cakes would have to sell it. No, I’ll keep the party supplies here and use the bakery when I need it. I don’t mind that they get the money for the cakes I need. Anyways, why did you say that Twilight?”

“Well Pinkie,” I said, “it all goes back to…”

*****

Canterlot

Princess Cadance sighed contentedly and leaned against her husband as they relaxed in the castle courtyard, the remnants of a picnic lunch sprawled before them. “It’s rare that we have a moment to ourselves isn’t it Shining?”

The beating of hooves against a nearby pathway stifled Shining Armor’s agreement.

“Captain, Princess,” said an exhausted guard as he came to a halt near them. “I…I…I-”

“Catch your breath lieutenant,” urged Shining Armor.

The guardspony only nodded as he continued to pant heavily for a few more moments. “I have a notice from Princess Luna and it’s addressed to you both.” He quickly fetched it from under his helmet and passed it to them.

“Dear Shining Armor and Princess Cadance,” Shining read aloud, “I am sure you are as excited as I am about the upcoming festivities here in Canterlot. Due to the event’s scheduled time, I shall be presiding. As ponies who are as close to the guests of honor as you are, I would very much like you both to help with the preparations…” Shining trailed off as he read a small list of tasks. “What’s going on lieutenant, it doesn’t say.”

As if to answer his question, a second guard swooped down alongside the lieutenant. “I told you LT, you needed to wait for me.”

“Can you answer my question then?”

The new arrival retrieved a letter from a small satchel under his wing. As Shining Armor was about to take it, Princess Cadance stole it from him, satchel and all, with a casual application of her own magic. “Princess Luna cordially invites you to the wedding of – oh dear.”

*****

Later that night…

“‘I am greatly pleased that my sister has surrendered this event so that I may preside over your wedding,” Spike recited from a surprisingly large roll of parchment in a somewhat dramatic voice. “‘It seems only fitting to do so as you, Alexander, are now one of my ‘Children of the Night.’ The name is not my choice, but theirs and I shall honor their option to call themselves as such. Many request that they attend as this is a special occasion for Nocturne as a whole. Marriage betwi–’ is that even a word Twi?”

Twilight peered over his shoulder and nodded. “Do you mind if I finish it Spike?”

Spike held the parchment out, letting the majority of it hit the floor and roll between Twilight’s legs, passing her tail by several feet. “Knock yourself out.”

“‘Marriage betwixt one of theirs and the average Equestrian is always especially celebrated among Nocturne, but they know as to how you came to stride among them and they wish to extend their collective welcoming hooves for such a wondrous moment–’ let’s see.” I saw her hoof pressed against the parchment as she scanned the oversized letter. “More about how rare this is, some awkward explanations, irrelevant technical jargon, random moments of her unusual choice in words, awkward usage of political jargon, ah! ‘We have made preparations for you the week after the Summer Sun Celebration, please send a reply if you would prefer a date before then with sufficient time for all parties to be capable of reschedule. Sincerely, Princess Luna.’ Everything seems perfect.” She bit her lip. “Why is it so perfect?”

“Stop saying that,” I hissed. “I know you consider such things as nonsense, but you don’t use words like that for important events. It invites misfortune.”

“You remember what happened at the Gala,” Rainbow added as Twilight began to open her mouth. “Remember how much of an absolute and total disaster it was? Remember that we were slated to never be invited ever again?”

I watched Twilight, twitching from the reminder, as she stiffly nodded. “I remember Rainbow and I really wish we could take that whole night back every time we’ve been to the castle to meet with Princess Luna about the wedding preparations.”

“What about Shining Armor and Cadance’s wedding,” I asked. “Wasn’t that less fiasco and more disaster?”

A barely audible whimper left Twilight’s mouth. “My former home at the school was levelled during that,” she meekly answered before breaking down. She flung her forelegs around my neck as she began to cry. “Princess Celestia made me pay for half of the repairs since I technically still had it as a place of residence.”

I tried to rub her back, feeling more like I was disarming a bomb than comforting a fiancée. “Are–”

Twilight sniffled. “It’s fully paid off and,” she stared at me with a fierce determination that penetrated her tears, “before you ask, it has been since before we first met you.”

I pulled her in tightly. “Just let it out Twi, I’m sorry we just dredged up some nasty memories. Is there any way I can make it up to you?”

I barely managed to hear three words escape her mouth: one sleepless night. It was enough to make me feel half-dead already, a quick glance towards Rainbow revealed only her confused expression. It seemed to me as though Twilight had been doing some homework on the Nocturne ponies and managed to hit the right volume so only I would pick up what she said.

Author's Note

Part of this chapter was inspired by the comic A Mare Never Forgives by GlancoJusticar.

1 - Fourth Wall: Pinkie Pie Writes

Dear bronies,

My human friend Raven is staying with Lyra and Bonbon at the moment. You see, until this whole Chrysalis thing runs its course I'm a little worried about him bringing her home with him. She tried to take over Equestria and I was there. Sure, none of her changelings could imitate me but she might still have something against me since I was there and ready to fight against her with my nifty necklace.

Twilight came by yesterday to tell me that Raven is getting along with Chrysalis and she hasn't been showing any want to be a meanie again. Later on, Lyra came by to go out drinking with me, she told me that Raven's been seeing her almost every night and Bonbon even let her stay over the night before.

Pinkie Pie spent most of the rest of the day working hard at Sugarcube Corner.

*****

Mrs. Cake told me I really shouldn't be doing this anymore. She said I'm going to have to buy my own supplies if I keep going. Been nearly a week since I last wrote one of these... well... without eating it at least.

She paused to give her “watchers” a good view of the large sheet cake she was writing on.

What? They're good! Anyways, I've been stubborn enough and just want Raven back. Meanie or not, I miss my friend and talking with him about his story. If she asks nicely I'll think about letting her stay over with Raven. If she spends time here with him then I'll let them have the big room to themselves.

Well, you know, when two ponies really really like each other and can't keep their hooves to themselves, they need some time to themselves. I'm pretty sure Raven doesn't wanna go that far with her though and he might just be trying to do something like what we did to Princess Luna.

Your friend in frosting,
Pinkie Pie

12 - Fourth Wall: The Pink and Pen Plot

“So, what’s the plan,” asked the party pony as she glanced to her human housemate.

“It’s simple,” he said with a grin before leaning back against an overly affectionate changeling queen. “A little space while I write would be a nice thing Chyssie.”

“You wouldn’t say that if I took the shape of somepony you like more than me,” she huffed.

“I would, I like having a bit of space free for my arms while I’m typing on the floor.”

“Can we get back to the plan,” asked Pinkie as she passed Chrysalis a mug of hot chocolate.

“Sure thing, the plan is this Pinkie: everyone who read the first version may remember this little ‘event’ but I’ll bring it up for everyone that’s new. In version one a certain reader by the name of High_Wind brought up something we all treated as a bit of a running comment line. One I was more than happy to egg along.”

“Oh, I remember reading that stuff! But everypony that’s read the first version-”

“Won’t know for sure since the tale’s changed around enough to change Alex’s priorities,” the author calmly interjected. “Let me put in the direct quote for everyone to see it.”

Taking all bets! Taking all bets!
What's it gonna be?!
Unicorn, Earth Pony, Pegasus!
Alicorn?!
Or are they gonna get busted before the spell?!
Taking all bets!

“The event will last until I post everyone’s cumulative wagers. Everyone can argue over their winnings/losings after I do the reveal.”

“I see you’re paraphrasing there,” commented the changeling queen between sips. “Mmm, such a delicious blend you’ve made Miss Pie, I shall have to share it with the hive when I return after this is all over.”

“I’m just happy you aren’t acting like a meanie anymore,” the party pony added with a broad smile.

“And all it took was a close and genuine friend,” Ravenmane added.

“And you’re sure I can’t convince you to stay,” the changeling queen asked sincerely.

“I still have things to do in the human world.”

“You will be missed,” added Chrysalis with a sigh.

26 - Fourth Wall: The Numbers

“Hi there,” said Raven pleasantly. “Today my special guests are our local teacher Cheerilee and our solar diarch Princess Celestia.”

Both ponies waved at the laptop screen politely and Chrysalis, sitting on the other side of Raven, huffed. “Why is Celestia here,” the changeling queen hissed.

“Because the royal coffers are being raided thanks to this story,” Princess Celestia said politely.

“Right,” said the author as he held Chrysalis’ shoulder before she did something drastic. “The wagers on FIMFiction were lackluster compared to the ones here in Equestria.”

“Yes, but they expected you to pull exactly the same thing as your original,” said Cheerilee happily.

“My sister wagered twenty thousand bits on a unicorn transformation,” said Celestia bitterly.

“Pinkie was keeping an eye on the wagers so I didn’t even see them until they were done,” reminded the author.

“Yep,” confirmed the rather distant party pony. She was accompanied by Twilight Sparkle in a distant corner doing math.

“I have the total,” said Twilight calmly. “Thanks to your twist that threw us all for a loop, save for Rainbow of course, the total is forty thousand seventy seven bits. I've taken out the thirty bits Rainbow put into the pot plus her increase due to the odds.”

Cheerilee beamed. “Thanks for everypony’s generous donation to the school here in Ponyville! We’ll be able to expand and hire more teachers thanks to all of this.” Her smile was quickly replaced by a wicked grin, “or maybe I’ll just stop getting donations from Filthy Rich and boot his obnoxious daughter from class.”

Of all ponies, Chrysalis stared at the teacher, ready to dispense words of wisdom. “Now, now Cheerilee, you’ll want that money after all of this is spent on improvements. It’s only a flat amount after all.”

“She has a point Lee,” the author said calmly as the changeling queen rested her head on his shoulder.

Princess Celestia looked to Raven as he wrapped an arm around a very content Chrysalis. “Raven, you aren’t suffering any side effects of being around Chrysalis?”

“Not that I’m aware of. I mean, I care for her and not whoever she would be imitating.”

“Raven is a loveable creature,” said Chrysalis with a blissful sigh, “I feed on his kindness and joy only enough to live from day to day. I mean sure it isn’t love, but my senses tell me that he practically radiates it.”

Celestia grumbled as she dropped a large sack of bits on the floor. “My thousand bits are in there as well Miss Cheerilee. I hope you can put all of this to good use.”

30 - Fourth Wall: The Author Says Good Bye

“Raven how could you be so heartless,” screeched Queen Chrysalis.

“Yeah, look who’s calling the kettle black,” retorted the irate author as he glared at the towering changeling.

“Uh guys,” said Pinkie as she tapped the webcam mounted on the laptop, “you’re online.”

The two arguing figures glanced at the laptop and turned bright red.

~Twenty Minutes Earlier…

The author sighed at the last chapter’s influx of readers. “Are you still going to use a baseball bat Pinkie?”

The party pony placed a hoof on his shoulder. “Uh huh,” she replied sadly.

“What are you both talking about,” asked Chrysalis as soon as she saw the duo’s vacant expressions.

“My revisions are done Chrysalis,” I author explained. “All this time with you has been a real treat.” His lips were trying to force an expression, but much like his pink host’s, there wasn’t even a fake smile to be found. “Promise not to be a bother to them Chrys?”

“You’re leaving? Tell me you’re joking!”

Pinkie sniffled. “Raven’s going to have to leave Chrysalis, rules are rules.”

“WHAT?!”

Raven cleared his throat. “Chrysalis,” he said sternly, “calm down.”

“But you’re leaving,” the changeling queen whined. “Who will I egg Princess Celestia’s chariot with?”

“I’m game,” said Pinkie as she finally managed to crack a flimsy smile.

“I told you it wasn’t going to be anything permanent Chrys,” Raven said.

Pinkie sighed, breaking the silence caused by her statement. “You know, there isn’t much of a choice in things Raven.”

The author nodded and looked to Chrysalis. “Please promise me you won’t cause any more trouble for them Chrys.”

“I will,” the changeling queen replied. “Just promise me you’ll visit.”

“I can’t unless my paperwork gets approved. Right Pinkie?”

“Yeah,” she said as her eyes drifted towards the nearby bat.

Raven began to pack his things up, making sure to save his laptop for last. “Could take years and even then I won’t be very well off here.”

“I’ll vouch for you Raven,” said Pinkie with a sniffle. “I’m sure Twilight will too. I mean, she delivered your paperwork to Princess Celestia herself.”

“Can I help at all,” asked Chrysalis as she tried to restrain her own tears.

“Keep your promise Chrys and pray that I return soon,” the author said before popping a few painkillers. He hit ‘Publish’ before closing up his laptop and prepared for a swift smack to the back of his head.

To Be Continued...