Millennial Redemption

by Hopefullygoodgrammar

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Gore, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Sad, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fluttershy, Derpy Hooves
Length: 9276

What are redemption's limits? Can someone lost in the darkness find the light? Is any of this possible for Rip Van Winkle?

She was dead.

Samiel had killed her, violated her soul and made her into a weapon to be used against her allies.

She had been destroyed.

And yet....

She awakens in a colorful land, under the care of a strange creature who shows her the first real kindness that she's received since her time in Millennium.

But her traumatic death and the time that she's had to truly think about her actions are weighing on her spirit, dragging her down into despair.

Can she find redemption?

I don't own MLP or Hellsing Ultimate.

Published 2014-07-08 11:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-07 03:35:41 UTC

1.

Agonizing pain.

An unrelenting torrent of shadows held her down, froze her pale skin and seared the gaping hole in her chest, causing her to writhe and scream like so many of her former victims, though they, at least, would have died at this undefinable point in time.

But not her.

This was her entire world, her universe, a universe of hellish torment, trapped within the body of an unholy monster.

Alucard….

The very name name her wounds hurt.

She was nothing but a plaything to him, a tool to be used against her allies, if they could even be called that anymore. She shuddered as she recalled the cold and callous way that the Major- a man whom she had devoted her entire un-life to- threw her away like she was less than nothing.

The other souls within Alucard mocked her for her naivete, they berated her for putting trust in such a monster.

And she wept every, single time.

And so time slowed to a crawl and the minutes and hours and days blurred together until Time itself was alien to her.

And still her torment continued.

When the tide of suffering ebbed, even slightly, she would think. She would think about where it had gone wrong, she remembered joining Millennium and the Nazi party after her boyfriend had joined.

It was somewhat funny, considering that she couldn't even remember what her boyfriend had looked like and it was actually funny to her that she hadn't even been attracted to him, but being a lesbian in that era was deadly, especially in regards to Nazi Germany.

But Millennium allowed her to be free of that and many more restrictions besides.

They had scorned the social norms and embraced the darkest and most taboo side of humanity.

Though that was expected, considering they were Vampires, Witches and Freaks of nature. It only made sense that they would be drawn to the darkness.

She had killed for Millennium, she had pulped heads and perforated torsos with her unnatural marksmanship.

She had given up her humanity and become a vampire; she had lost count of the times that she had feasted upon the innocent.

Now she was paying for it all.

And, after thinking such thoughts for so long, she began to wonder whether she should give in and accept her fate.

I’m a monster she thought, and monsters like me deserve to be punished for all eternity. When Alucard is finished with me I’ll go to Hell… and my torment will just get worse, but I deserve it, I deserve all of it. I’m a monster.

Then she was tossed about and twisted painfully as the floodgates opened. Then she was out in the real world, amidst a sea of blood and gunfire.

She found, to her unending horror, that she had been fused to Tubalcain Alhambra, a man that she had been proud to call a friend and comrade in arms; now he was just a puppet. There wasn’t even enough of him to constitute a full puppet, so Alucard had just fused his mangled body with hers.

She fired her gun off a few times, then was torn to ribbons by gunfire.

And all she thought was: I deserve this.

Then there was nothing.

Warmth….

Warmth and a faint, gentle light.

Rip opened her eyes and felt shock course through her entire being.

She wasn’t in Hell, she wasn’t back in Alucard’s body with his other puppets, she wasn’t even in the endless darkness that some believed lurked on the Other Side.

She was somewhere completely new: someplace bright, someplace that was filled with the scents of untainted nature; a place that was the complete opposite of the war torn slaughterhouse that was once London.

She lay there for what felt like hours, wondering at her predicament, but too mentally and physically exhausted to investigate.

In time she felt fear and doubt creep into her mind. Could this be a trick? Will it all fade into fire and brimstone if I get up? Could Alucard be tricking me?

She felt her guts clench at the thought of that demon smiling that jackal’s smile at her as she danced on invisible strings.

Filling her lungs with air the former Millennium Huntress screamed, “I von’t be your puppet, Zamiel! You can kill me now or torture me until my body falls to pieces, but I von’t be your puppet!”

She was surprised at how little her throat hurt from her yell, she was far less surprised at how little she believed in her own words. He’ll make me his puppet if he so chooses, you stupid fraulein. He’s your master now. You are his possession, I am his possession.

But isn’t that what I deserve?

Rip felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes, followed by the prickling sensation as they leaked down her freckled cheeks.

I just want this to stop. she thought as she began to cry softly.

And, as always, her gentle gasps became harsh weeping, then-finally- she would abandon herself to miserable sobbing. The only difference this time was that there were no other tormented souls crying out alongside her.

Her miserable cries drew the attention of something-no, someone. She didn’t hear said someone’s hoofsteps, though it would have taken her using her enhanced hearing to hear even the faintest sound.

The being moved towards the sobbing vampire and came to a stop several feet in front of her. She- that was the being’s gender- stared at Rip with large, teal eyes that held an equal mixture of fear, caution and pity.

She had no clue what the strange creature was, but the sounds of her crying were enough to break her heart.

Rip had finally ran out of tears- at least for the moment- when she heard it: the clearing of a throat.

The vampire looked up, readying herself for the inevitable cruel taunts of Alucard and the torture that was sure to follow, but what she saw instead was something new and altogether unexpected.

It was a medium-sized horse-no, a pony. A pony with soft-looking, yellow fur, long pink hair that covered one side of her face and a pair of fluffy wings clasped tightly to her sides.

It’s a…. a pegasus? she thought as she stared into the creature’s blue eyes.

She had seen many strange and frightening creatures in her years serving the Major: vampires, ghouls, the last werewolf, an omnipotent catboy and a powerful witch. But this creature was something else altogether, namely in the fact that it didn’t look like anything that belonged in the world that she inhabited: it looked far too… cute, too kind and gentle to be a part of the world that she was familiar with.

But that would make it a very clever illusion. she thought as the pegasus moved a few inches closer, If I don’t talk to it, then maybe Alucard will get bored and stop the charade.

Then the pegasus spoke in a soft, feminine voice that carried with it an emotion that she had heard more times than she could count: fear.

“H-h-hello?”

Rip clenched her jaw and looked down, trying to focus on the shadows that had pooled underneath her legs. If I don’t talk she’ll go away, if I don’t talk she’ll go away, if I don’t talk she’ll go away-

“Are you alright?”

Rip perked up slightly when she heard a new emotion enter the voice, it had been so very long since she had heard it that she doubted that she had heard correctly, but then it came again.

“Uhm… are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Rip felt her eyes start to water again, it was foreign, but still unmistakable.

It was kindness.

It made her heart ache for the time before she had ever joined Millennium, before she had gone down the wrong path, before she had been killed.

But it’s still just a trick. she reaffirmed herself.

Then she felt something rest on her shoulder, something very soft and warm. Rip’s breath caught in her throat and she began to tremble as her body relayed the information to her mind, forcing her to accept that the creature wasn’t an illusion.

“Oh my Celestia, you’re shaking!” exclaimed the pegasus, sounding worried, “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Rip couldn’t take it anymore, The kindness in her voice, the gentle touch of what she assumed to be her hoof on her shoulder and the concern that she was showing, it was all so real.

“But you aren’t real…” she whispered.

“Pardon?” asked the pegasus.

“You’re not real” she said, louder this time, “You can’t be real, you are just an illusion.”

There was silence for a moment, then the pegasus said, “O-of course I’m real.”

Rip looked up, showing the pegasus her sharp teeth as she hissed, “No, you’re an illusion created by Alucard.”

She pulled herself away from the illusion’s touch and backed away on all fours like a whipped dog. When she was a few feet away from the pegasus- who was looking at her with confusion as well as pity- she curled into a ball and covered her face.

Rip tried desperately not to hear the pegasus move towards her, tried to blot out all senses, tried not to let that seed of doubt in her mind flower and take root, tried to stop the pain of the cruelty that the vampire god was inflicting upon her.

Something settled next to her and a second later she felt something as soft and downy drape itself over her back; it took her a second to realize that the pegasus had laid a wing over her.

Like an angel comforting a sinner. she thought, Only no angel would ever come near something like me, I’m tainted, evil, and this pegasus should run away from me as fast as she can. If she’s even real at all.

But that seed of doubt was steadily growing, slowly blossoming and eating at her resolve. She didn’t want to be tricked, but she also wanted with all her heart to believe that what was happening was real.

“There, there, it’s going to be alright.” said the pegasus, “I won’t leave you here alone.”

Rip Van Winkle’s resolve crumbled even more at those soft, soothing words. Words that made her remember her mother tucking her in as the sun set outside her window, her and her sister playing in the meadows on the outskirts of their little town, her first, secretive kiss with a girl whose name had been lost amidst the seas of time.

Why would Alucard do something like this? Why would he do anything kind at all, that isn’t Zamiel’s way.

Her blue eyes snapped open, He wouldn’t do... anything…. kind-

“Zis is r-real.” she said in a small voice, gazing at the yellow pegasus with watering eyes.

“Uhm… yes, I’m real.” she said with a gentle smile.

Those two words made the flower of doubt blossom fully into realization and Rip Van Winkle, the former first lieutenant of Millennium, began to cry. She cried out of relief, she cried out of happiness, she cried out of remorse.

The yellow pegasus looked taken aback for a moment, then she gently pulled the strange, weeping creature into a warm embrace.

Rip felt the soft fur tickle her skin and heard the creature’s heart beat a slow rhythm. She reached her long arms out and clung to the pegasus like an infant clinging to its mother, savoring the warmth and the feeling of love that came with it.

Soon- far sooner than she had thought- she fell asleep, still whimpering and hugging the yellow pegasus tightly.

Fluttershy cradled the strange, sharp-toothed creature for awhile until she heard the tell-tale gentle breathing that signaled sleep.

She gently laid her- she was certain that the creature was female- on the grass and got to her hooves.

She looked down at her, taking in the bloodstained blue and white garb, the long hair, the strange silver pendant that lay around her neck and the slightly cracked glasses that were perched awkwardly on her small nose.

Fluttershy leaned in and gently brushed the hair away to get a better look at her face: she had a soft, youthful face dotted with freckles, a small nose and a slightly pointed chin. Her face reminded Fluttershy of her friend Pinkie Pie, but there were a few major physical differences in their appearance.

But there was one other difference that presided over the others: her face, although slack with sleep, was haggard and gaunt, her skin was pale and covered in small cuts and bruises, her eyes were sunken in and ringed with dark circles, her cheeks were hollowed and her lips were chapped and raw.

Fluttershy felt the pity that had nestled in her chest rise up and fill her eyes with tears. She brushed the feathers of her wings across the female’s brow, You poor, poor thing she thought sadly what happened to you?

The female gave no answer, save for a tiny, pitiful whimper.

Author's Note

Here's another story for ya guys, this one will probably update much slower than the others, considering that I have Regnerator 228 and Seeing Monsters to finish.

And here's the theme for this chapter :

2.

Fluttershy finished her chores around the house before returning to check up on the mysterious creature that she had found in the woods; whom she had put on the couch and covered with a blanket from her own bed.

She was still fast asleep.

The yellow pegasus frowned slightly as the poor thing shifted and whimpered slightly. Fluttershy knew that she was in the grip of a nightmare, but wasn’t sure if it would be right to wake her; those dark circles under her eyes told her that she needed rest.

I should go tell Twilight about this. she decided after her charge began to twitch and mewl in a way that made her heart bleed.

Fluttershy clopped over to her and pulled the blankets just a bit tighter around her in case she tossed and turned; then she quietly left her cottage after leaving a note in case her charge woke up.

Ponyville was as bright, colorful and happy as usual, but Fluttershy wasn’t in the mood to take in the atmosphere.

I hope Twilight can help me. she fretted as she drew nearer to the massive crystalline structure that sat near the outskirts of the humble little town.

She arrived at the massive, ornate double doors that served as the main entrance and knocked lightly.

She waited a few minutes before the door slowly creaked open to reveal Spike, Twilight’s number one assistant and the only dragon in Ponyville.

When he saw her his face split into a big smile, “Hey, Fluttershy!” he greeted.

“Hello, Spike.” she said softly, giving him a small smile, “How are you?”

“Aww I’m fine.” he said dismissively, “I’ve been hanging out, getting my bearings. This place is huge, though, I think Twilight said something about it being 10 times the size of… the library.”

Fluttershy frowned at the sadness that came over the young drake’s face when he mentioned the now-destroyed library.

The yellow pegasus laid a hoof on Spike’s shoulder and said, “Don’t worry, Spike. I miss the Golden Oaks too, but I’m sure that you’ll have plenty of happy memories about this place in no time! So cheer up, okay?”

Spike looked up at her and smiled, “Alright, I’ll try for you. So are you looking for Twilight?”

Fluttershy nodded and Spike stepped aside to allow her inside.

When she crossed the threshold Fluttershy couldn’t help but marvel at how grand and massive the place looked with it’s crystal walls, ornate tapestries and beautiful stain-glass windows- one of which depicted her with her element.

“Pretty cool, huh?” said Spike from her left.

Fluttershy nodded, “Yes, I-I can’t believe that I had forgotten how beautiful this place was.”

Spike nodded, “Yeah, It take a while to get used to it, and when that happens you realize how cool the place is. Did you know that there’s a dungeon in this place?”

Fluttershy raised a brow.

Spike giggled and turned to a nearby door, “Here’s Twilight’s study. She wanted a room that was easily accessible to her friends and herself, so she chose this room.”

The little drake knocked on the door and called out to his friend and adoptive mother. A moment later the door opened and a very tired-looking Twilight Sparkle trotted out.

“Hey, Spike, what’s up?” she asked, not noticing Fluttershy.

The yellow pegasus gave a small cough and Twilight turned to her.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, Fluttershy, I’m just a bit tired… though that’s still no excuse for not noticing you.” she adopted an apologetic look.

“It’s alright, Twilight” said Fluttershy, “I’m sure that getting used to this place is hard.”

Twilight’s ears drooped, “Yeah… I just miss the library.”

Fluttershy draped a wing around her studious friend and pulled her into a hug, “I know it’s hard, Twilight, but I’m here for you and so are the other girls.”

Twilight returned the hug with a smile, “I never doubted that for a second.”

After a few seconds Twilight broke the hug off and straightened her mane, “So, what do you need?”

Fluttershy looked down, “Well… it’s kind of… hard to believe, I think it would be better if I showed you, can you come over to my house later today?”

Twilight gave her friend a quizzical look, then nodded. “Sure, is 7:00 good for you?”

Fluttershy nodded with a big smile, “Oh yes, 7:00 is perfect, I’m sure that my guest will be awake by then.”

Twilight’s magenta eyes widened, “Wait… guest? Who’s your guest?”

Fluttershy blushed slightly, “She’s… well… she’s not a pony.”

Twilight blinked, “Sooo… what is she?”

Fluttershy shook her head, “You wouldn’t believe me, I think it’s better that you see for yourself.”

Twilight approached her friend with a calming smile on her face, “I wouldn’t doubt your word, you can tell me and I Pinkie Pie promise that I won’t laugh, or scoff, or anything like that.”

The purple unicorn made the motions of the promise. Fluttershy bit her lip, then said, “I’m not sure what species she is, but she’s tall, doesn’t have much hair and has really sharp teeth.”

Twilight’s eyes lit up like miniature suns as her friend said this, then she raised her hoof in the air and gave an excited squeal, “You found a new species?! This is so awesome! I can’t wait to meet her!”

Fluttershy giggled at her friend’s antics, then said, “I’m glad that you’re excited, but I hope that you don’t overwhelm my guest, she looks like she’s had some tough times and she needs her sleep. So come over at 7:00, like we agreed on, and be calm around her.”

Twilight stopped her hoof pumping and let out a disappointed groan.

“Twilight.” said Fluttershy in a serious tone.

“I know, I know.” said Twilight, “It’s just that it isn’t everyday that one gets to talk with member of a new species.”

“I know, Twilight” said Fluttershy, “and I thank you for your patience; you really are the best friend that somepony could ask for.”

Twilight’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red and she pawed at the ground bashfully, “Awww… thanks, Fluttershy, you’re an awesome friend, too.”

Fluttershy hugged Twilight one more time and then turned to go, but then she heard Twilight say, “ I can’t wait to tell the girls about this!”

Fluttershy turned and said, “Could you… maybe… hold off on telling them? It’s just that, well, she was really miserable when I found her, she was crying and when I offered to help her she said that I wasn’t real. I don’t think that it would be wise to crowd her right now.”

Twilight nodded, “Okay, Fluttershy, but they’re gonna find out anyway.”

Fluttershy smiled, “They always do.”

Then she turned and left Twilight with her thoughts.

Author's Note

Sorry about the lack of Rip, but she'll be int he next chapter, I promise.

3.

She stood in a desolate battlefield, the dead were lying where they fell in pools of congealed blood, the used bullet casings littered the cracked earth like garbage, the guns and bayonets and knives lay like bodies themselves.

All was silent, save for the harsh cawing of crows and other carrion-eating birds.

Rip felt herself being drawn forwards by an unseen force, she walked forwards, not looking at the carnage around her, but rather gazing at the horizon, which was lit by a sunken sun.

Suddenly the cawing got louder and far more cacophonous, she looked up and saw that the sky was rapidly darkening under the shadows of a million black ravens, all of whom were looking down on her with eyes like burning embers.

Rip felt fear grip her heart as the cawing grew louder, she wanted to move, to run, to hide, anything. But she knew that it was hopeless.

There was no running from her sins.

Then the ravens began to cluster together, each one seeming to flow into the other like puddles flowing into streams. In an instant the swarm of carrion-eaters had coalesced into a massive, black skull.

The red eyes had formed into a blazing red swastika.

Then the wind picked up and, in that sound, she could hear the voices of every person that she had wronged.

“Why did you take me from my mother?”

“The only crime that I committed was being against the Nazis. Why did you kill me?”

“I died alone and freezing in the forest with no one to hear my screams!”

“You shot my son and then me! What kind of monster would do that?”

“Beast!”

“Freak!”

“Monster!”

Rip closed her eyes against the tide of tears, but they slipped out anyway, and she didn’t try to stop them. It was a futile effort anyway, so why should she even fight it?

Then she felt a presence behind her, she didn’t even need to turn around to know who it was, but she turned anyway.

To her surprise it wasn’t Alucard, instead it was a clone of her, though this version of her was taller, with long talons, rotting, putrefying skin that pulsed with maggots and massive fangs that tore her lips to dangling shreds.

It was how Rip had come to view herself over the course of her imprisonment, but this was the first time that she had actually seen it face to face.

She took a step closer and the clone- no, her true self, leveled her own musket at her.

“Are you ready?” it asked in a sickeningly soft voice; soft like the doughy flesh of a long dead corpse.

Rip lowered her head and nodded, letting her tears flow freely.

Then the musket plunged through her abdomen.

Rip woke up with a gasp, feeling her chest wound burn.

She looked around confusedly, wondering where she was, before the memory of what happened in the woods with that strange, yellow pegasus returned to her.

Was it all a dream? she wondered, It felt real enough, but… it’s just impossible, pegasi don’t exist.

She sighed and lowered her head, an act which brought the blanket that she was wrapped in to her attention.

She stopped and gazed at the soft, blue material that was bundled over her, trying to process what she was seeing. She looked up and was met with a world of multi-colored smudges, she realized that someone had removed her glasses, she felt around for a second before her searching fingers-which she realized where bare-found them.

She put her glasses on and blinked in surprise: the smudges had resolved themselves into a colorful living room, complete with a rug, several small beds that looked like they were for animals and the couch that she was currently occupying.

All of that was somewhat surprising, but what really got her attention where the colors: the world that she had known was full of every shade of gray, blue and brown, with only the red of blood and the yellow of predatory eyes to break the monotony.

But these colors were vivid, bright and stimulating to her eyes as well as soothing to her troubled mind.

“It’s like a whole new world.” she said softly.

A strange feeling came over her then, a feeling that she had not experienced in a long time: happiness.

It wasn’t happiness at being in a different environment, it wasn’t the kind of happiness that was the result of a salved consciousness, it was happiness at being able to rest.

I wonder when Alucard will return me to his inner hell- Wait…. I was killed in the battle.

Rip felt the realization hit her like a panzerfaust. She had been so distracted by her new surroundings that she hadn’t truly had time to process what had happened to her on the battlefield, she had died permanently, with no chance of being brought back.

Which means….. which means that this is a new world. she thought breathlessly.

Rip looked around the odd room again, her blue eyes drinking in every single detail as a thirsty man drinks from a pool. But the need for true proof went beyond just seeing, so Rip cast off her blanket, noticing that her shoes and socks had been removed, and gently stood up.

She felt the cool floor on her bare soles, she crouched and laid a palm flat on the rug, feeling the individual fibers tickle her skin; she smiled and lifted her hand away.

Then she turned and sniffed the air, allowing her to smell the fragrant odor of countless flowers, animal dander and rainwater. A soft spring breeze blew in from a window that was slightly ajar and she felt goosebumps rise on her skin, she shivered slightly, then smiled when she realized that she could shiver.

Then Rip closed her eyes and allowed her vampiric senses to kick in, and she could hear and smell the blood of many animals of many different species.

Is this person a veterinarian? she wondered, Or has a fellow vampire found me somehow?

The former huntress’s eyes fell upon a large, wall-mounted clock that read 6:50.

I’ve been out for awhile… she thought.

Rip turned around and paced to the far wall, which housed a large bookshelf that was brimming with books. She picked one out and read the title on the cover.

Flora and Fauna of the Everfree by Swift Breeze.

What is the Everfree? wondered Rip as she flipped the book open. Inside there were descriptions of plant life, including mosses and fungi, Rip furrowed her brow when she saw the descriptions of several very odd plants, like Poison Joke and Hexen Tears. She flipped to the fauna section and balked when she saw the descriptions for Manticores, Cockatrices, Cragodiles and Timberwolves.

“Vat kind of place is this?” she asked out loud, gently closing the book and putting it back in its proper place.

She had turned around and started back to the couch when a bright flash of light blinded her, causing her to lose her footing and fall to the floor.

When the spots in her vision cleared up she removed her hands from her eyes and saw a large, purple pony with large, majestic wings and a spiraling horn gently alight on the floor after having been suspended in midair by an aura of white light.

The pony-creature shook her head-like a dog drying itself- then looked up at her with large, magenta eyes.

She was silent for a full minute, then she opened her mouth and let out an ear-piercing squeal that rattled Rip’s fangs in her gums.

Then the pony-creature sprang toward her as Rip let out a shriek of her own.

4.

Twilight had seriously screwed up, that much was obvious to her as she watched the strange creature scream and fling herself backwards.

She felt shame bubble up inside of her chest as she watched Fluttershy’s odd guest scramble backwards on all fours, going for the space between the bookshelf and the wall and squeezing herself into it whilst making herself as small as she possibly could.

“Oh, I am so, so sorry!” she said, placing her hooves to her mouth and rushing forwards to aid the poor creature.

Just before she could get too close the door burst open and a very panicked-looking Fluttershy raced in, looking around frantically. When her eyes landed on Twilight, who appeared to be looming over her trembling guest, she narrowed her eyes and galloped up to her tactless friend.

“Twilight! What in Equestria are you doing?” she asked, managing to sound both appalled and shocked.

The purple unicorn pinned her ears back and tried to stammer out an apology, but Fluttershy had already moved past her and was now trying to coax the strange creature out from her corner.

“It’s alright now” she soothed, “Twilight won’t hurt you, I promise.”

There was a moment of silence, then a weak voice asked, “V-vat is s-she? And...vat are you?”

Fluttershy blinked, then said, “Well… my name is Fluttershy and I’m a pegasus, and my friend there” she indicated the still very embarrassed Twilight, “is Twilight Sparkle, she’s an alicorn. What’s your name?”

The strange creature hesitated a moment, then said, “My name is Rip Van Winkle.”

“Rip Van Winkle… that’s a very pretty name!” said Fluttershy with a soft smile.

Rip blushed despite herself, having not heard a compliment of that sort in more than 60 years.

Fluttershy held out a hoof, “It’s very nice to meet you.”

Rip looked at the hoof, then slowly reached out and tentatively shook it.

Fluttershy smiled and backed away at Rip got to her feet and slowly walked back to the couch, doing her best to skirt around Twilight, who looked away ashamedly when she noticed the tension in her movements.

Rip climbed back onto the couch, drew her legs up to her chest and wrapped her blanket around her thin body.

Fluttershy and Twilight exchanged concerned looks at the way Rip clammed up.

Twilight approached Rip slowly, wincing slightly when the strange creature looked up and tried to make herself smaller.

“Uhm… hello, Miss. Van Winkle.” said Twilight, “I’m so, so sorry for scaring you, I was just excited and I seriously overstepped my bounds.”

Rip bit her lip, giving Twilight a peek at her sharpened teeth, before she replied, “I-it’s okay, Ms. Sparkle, I overreacted, it’s my fault.”

“Oh no, no, no, it’s my fault.” insisted Twilight, shaking her head “ I’d be scared too if an alicorn just popped into existence a few feet from me.”

“Nein, it was my fault.” said Rip, looking away.

“No, it was my fault.”

Fluttershy stepped in before Rip could muster another apology and said, “Normally I’d mediate an argument like this by saying that you both overreacted, but Twilight is the one at fault here.”, she shot Twilight an apologetic look, but was met with a small smile and a nod.

“O-okay” said Rip shakily, “S-sorry for arguing.”

Fluttershy and Twilight both frowned slightly at these words, but Rip had withdrawn behind the curtain of her hair again.

The trio waited in awkward silence for what seemed like a small eternity until Twilight cleared her throat, getting the attention of Fluttershy’s off guest.

“So, Rip, why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself?”

Rip blinked owlishly, then said, “Uh… vell, you know my name and that I’m obviously not from around here, vat else do you want to know?”

“How old are you?” asked Twilight, conjuring a pen and paper.

“I turned 81 last fall.” said Rip, sounding somewhat embarrassed.

“81? Is it normal for your species to live a long time?” asked the studious alicorn, sounding more excited.

Rip bit her lip again, trying to decide which species’ age span she should use. Finally she said, “Some times.”

Twilight nodded, then asked, “I see… so, I noticed that you have sharp teeth, are you carnivorous?”

Rip didn’t see the tense and worried looks that crossed their faces. “I-I don’t eat very much anymore.”

The worry and tension melted away from Twilight’s face, but stayed on Fluttershy’s, “Oh? How come?”

Rip shrugged, “I just don’t.”

Twilight let out a small huff, obviously displeased at the lack of details that she was receiving.

“Does your kind...eat p-ponies?” asked Fluttershy, startling Twilight and making Rip look up.

“Nein, my people eat… different things.” she said. Fluttershy noticed a slight, pained expression pass over her face.

Twilight ‘hmm’-ed and jotted down a few more notes. Then she looked up and gave Rip a wide smile, “Thank you for your help” she opened her eyes, then adopted a concerned expression, “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

Rip shook her head without saying a word. Twilight nodded and started for the door, but just before her hoof touched the doorknob she suddenly turned and rushed back into the room.

“I’m sorry” she said, “but I forgot to ask you what your species name is. Could you tell me?”

Rip visibly tensed, then let out a soft, shuddering sigh before replying.

“I am a freak.”

5.

The dreadful silence that followed her words made Rip feel sick to her stomach. She had never liked calling herself a Freak, but- as Herr Docktor had told her time and time again- she was.

She wasn’t a true human, nor a true vampire; she was stuck between the two species.

A half-breed.

A Freak.

She expected them to give her disgusted looks, but, surprisingly, their faces filled with another emotion, one that she hated with a burning intensity: pity.

She felt her cheeks burn as hot, acidic shame bubbled up inside her gut, making her queasy and causing her to hide behind her hair again.

She heard the sound of hoofsteps and felt Fluttershy reach out and place a gentle hoof on her arm.

“Rip...why would you say that?” asked the shy pegasus.

The former-Huntress heaved a shaking chuckle that bordered on the threshold of tears before answering, “Do you have vampires in your world?”

Fluttershy blushed, “Well… I did turn into a vampony one time, but I got better.”

Rip blinked slowly and opened her mouth to ask the timid mare if she was serious, but Twilight cut her off before she could utter a word.

“Wait… are you saying that you’re a vampire?”

Rip nodded, “Yes, I’m a vampire.”

“As in, turns into a bat, can’t go out in the sun and drinks blood? That kind of vampire?” asked Twilight, a gleam of excitement welling up in her eyes: Rip shied away slightly; she had seen that look before.

Naked on a slab….Herr Docktor grinning as he raised a gleaming needle over her open eye…. the way he tried to make his voice seem soothing, when to her it sounded like the words of a serpent…. his lectures on how different she was…. the time when he hit her for resisting a round of medication that had made her guts cramp and burn…. the pain of his callous words…. telling her that she wasn’t even close to a true vampire…. just a freak….

“Rip?”

The soft, shaky voice pierced through the vile memories like a knife through tissue paper. Rip let out a small gasp as her blurred vision focused and she saw that she was trembling like a drunk on shaky ground.

The former-Huntress shivered and hugged herself tightly, momentarily forgetting the ponies watching her with concerned eyes.

She would have stayed like that, too, if not for Fluttershy, who came up and laid a hoof on her leg.

Rip started and looked up.

“Are you alright?” she asked again.

Rip nodded, “Ja, I’m… I’m fine, I vas just… lost in the past.”

Fluttershy nodded, then asked, “Are you serious about being a vampire?”

Rip nodded, “I vouldn’t lie about that.”, she then opened her mouth and extended her fangs to their fullest length. Fluttershy whimpered and backed up several feet, Rip retracted her fangs and bowed her head again, trying to make the world smaller and more manageable.

She felt bad for scaring her caretaker, but she knew that it was necessary to convince her just how utterly monstrous she was.

“I told you I vas a freak.” she said softly.

A moment later Fluttershy replied, “No, you’re not. I’m sorry if I offended you, I really am.”

The regret in her tone baffled Rip and she looked up, refusing to meet her eyes, “Vhy are you the one apologizing? I’m the one who scared you in the first place.”

“Because you’re obviously sensitive about your… condition and I offended you, so I’m sorry.”

Condition… if I was a real vampire I might be offended by that remark. thought Rip wryly.

The vampiress shook her head and said, “Nein, I frightened you and for that I am sorry.”

Fluttershy smiled, “It’s alright. Can you forgive me?”

Rip nodded and then started to settle in, hoping that the two ponies would forget about her and allow her some time to think.

Of course, such a thought was ridiculous and, not a minute later, Twilight said, “So tell me, what is it like being a vampire?”

Rip huffed, “I’m a Freak, not a true vampire.”

“What do you mean by that?” asked Twilight.

Rip bit her lip, then said, “Vell… I have a few advantages over normal vampires, like being able to go out in the sun and not needing to feed as much, but I am also a thousand times weaker than a true vampire; I couldn’t ever hold my own in a one on one fight.” she finished, sounding embarrassed.

“You got into fights?” asked Fluttershy, sounding concerned.

Rip nodded, “Of course I got into fights, did you think that vampires all lived in harmony? True vampires hate creatures like me, they think that we are lesser beings.”

Fluttershy and Twilight looked taken aback by this comment and the harshness that came into her tone.

“D-did you fight a lot?” asked Fluttershy, sounding like she knew what the answer was going to be.

Rip deflated and looked at the ground, “Ja, I vas….a soldier.”

“A soldier!?” echoed the two mares incredulously.

Rip nodded again, feeling that familiar shame well up within her. She silently prayed for some relief, a distraction from what she was feeling, something that would give her the time that she needed to figure things out.

There was a knock at the door and Rip silently thanked God.

Twilight went to answer the door and Rip heard her start chatting amiably with someone. A few moments later Twilight trotted back to the living room with a package held in a purple aura.

“Uhm, Fluttershy? Derpy’s here and she seems pretty worn out, it it okay if I go get her some water?” asked the purple unicorn.

“Of course.” said Fluttershy with a smile, “The glasses are in the second cabinet above the sink.”

Twilight nodded, thanked her and disappeared into the kitchen. Leaving Rip to wonder how big Fluttershy’s house was and who this “Derpy” character was.

A second later her second question was answered when a gray-furred pegasus with a light yellow mane poked her head around the corner and smiled hugely at Fluttershy.

“Hey, Fluttershy!” she exclaimed happily.

“H-hello, Derpy.” said Fluttershy, scraping her hoof on the ground and adverting her gaze.

The gray pegasus-Derpy- cantered into the living room and wrapped Fluttershy in a tight hug which the yellow pegasus returned after an awkward moment. Rip found herself holding her breath, knowing that she couldn’t stomach another fearful reaction.

Of course, Derpy realized that she and Fluttershy weren’t the only ones in the room, and she turned to greet Rip, revealing that she was wall-eyed.

Be that as it may she still has the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. mused Rip, waiting for that big happy smile to vanish.

But it didn’t, and Derpy bounded up to her and said, “Hello! Are you that alien that Fluttershy found?”

Rip considered her options. On one hand she wanted to be left alone and knew that she had it in her to be cruel to this wall-eyes mare, but she also knew that she’d feel terrible for being mean to a creature that was trying to be nice to her.

That, and Derpy was, without a doubt, the cutest thing that Rip had ever seen.

So Rip nodded in response to the question and said, “Ja.”

Derpy’s golden eyes lit up and she smiled happily at Rip, “Hi, there! My name’s Derpy Hooves, what’s yours?”

“Rip Van Winkle.” said the vampiress, giving Derpy a small smile.

“It’s nice to meet you, Rip Van Winkle.” said the gray pegasus, offering a hoof, which Rip gently shook.

Derpy took her hand in both hooves and manipulated her fingers, saying “These are cool.” in an awed voice. The curiosity and interest in her eyes made Rip want to giggle, but she held it in stubbornly.

Twilight returned from the kitchen with a glass of water, which she gave to Derpy, who drank it in one gulp before giving the glass back.

Twilight and Derpy began to make small talk, and Rip turned her attention elsewhere, noticing that something was missing.

“Where’s Fluttershy?”

Derpy and Twilight stopped their talking and looked around, looks of concern coming over their faces.

Twilight moved towards the front door, but it was thrown open before she could reach it. Fluttershy rushed into the room, her face filled with terror, which both ponies and vampire noticed.

“What’s wrong?” asked Twilight.

“Elizabeak is sick.” moaned Fluttershy, “I need to go to Zecora’s to pick up some medicine for her.”

Twilight nodded, then moved to the door.

“What are you doing?” asked Derpy.

“I’m going to go with Fluttershy.” she said, smiling at the shy pegasus, who smiled back.

“Can I stay here with Rip?” asked Derpy.

“Uhm...well...ask her?” said Fluttershy weakly.

Derpy turned to look at the former-Huntress expectantly. Rip bit her lip again.

I want to be alone. said one part of her.

But it isn’t healthy, Rip. argued another part, You’ll just get worse if you keep up with this solitude.

But I deserve to be alone. she retorted.

No, you don’t...you really don’t. Maybe talking to Derpy will help you. suggested the other part.

Rip looked at Derpy, who was smiling innocently at her, and felt a curious warmth flow through her.

I...I guess I do need someone to talk to… or just someone to be around.

Her decision made, Rip smiled at Derpy, “I’d love to have your company, Derpy.”

The happy squeal and hug that immediately followed her made the Freak feel warm and fuzzy in the inside.

6.

This was a bad idea. thought Rip miserably as she looked at Derpy, who was staring back at her with keen interest, She hasn’t said a single word to me...maybe she’s afraid now that she’s alone with me?

“So….” said Derpy, startling Rip out of her thoughts and proving her hypothesis wrong with the tone of her sweet voice.

“Uhm….vat?” asked Rip.

“I bet you can do lots of cool stuff with those.” she said, resting a soft hoof on her fingers.

“Ja, I guess I can.” said Rip, lifting her fingers and wiggling them. She let out a breathy giggle when she saw Derpy’s eyes widen.

“Woah...that’s pretty cool!” exclaimed the gray mare, “What else can you do with them?”

Rip thought for a second, then she loudly cracked her knuckles and performed the only ounce of magic that she could do.

“Ewww...doesn’t that hurt?”

“Vat?”

“Y-you’re taking your thumb off! That doesn’t hurt?”

Rip laughed, actually laughed, and shook her head, “Nein, it’s just a trick.”

Derpy blushed, then her eyes wandered and she cocked her head. Rip was about to ask her what was wrong when the gray mare suddenly placed a feathery wingtip to the bottom of her exposed foot.

Any question that Derpy might’ve had was lost amidst a yelp and a torrent of giggles.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” gasped Derpy, pulling her wing back, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“No-Heeheeheee-you didn’t hurt me.” giggled Rip, scrunching her toes and blushing, “I’m just really, really ticklish.”

Derpy chuckled at that, then got up next to her and wrapped her in a tight hug.

“I haven’t been tickled in a very long time.” said Rip, adding, as a slight afterthought, “And I haven’t been properly hugged in….in…”

Derpy took notice of the slight shadow that had come over her new friend’s face and said, “Well I’m huggin’ you now, so get used to it.”

Rip giggled and wrapped her arms tightly around her, savoring the warmth that radiated off the undeniably cuddly pegasus.

She settled her head on Derpy’s shoulder and closed her eyes, letting out a soft sigh as the sounds around her began to quiet, leaving only the sounds of her breathing and the gentle drum beat of her companion’s heartbeat.

All was silent.

All was calm.

And then Rip heard it: the soft sound of Derpy’s blood flowing through her veins.

It was such a sweet sound: so soft, yet so utterly enticing. Rip felt her breath catch in her throat as the pounding of Derpy’s heart filled her ears, drowning out all other sounds as the horribly familiar hunger made itself painfully known.

No, no, no, no, please...please not now...not here…

“Uhmmm….Rip?”

The confused and worried voice tore the former-huntress away from her thoughts and she realized that her fangs were hovering a mere inch away from her throat.

With a whine that sounded more animalistic than human, Rip hurled herself bodily off the couch, landing painfully on her stomach. Hot bile rose in her throat and she grasped her neck to stop its ascent, but her struggles proved futile and she vomited black bile and off-red blood.

Then the darkness, and the nightmares that lurked within, rose up to meet her.

Murderer!!

Demon!

Beast!!

You’ll never be happy and you don’t deserve to be!

You should burn!!

Rip woke up with a strangled scream, scaring Derpy, who had been hovering a few inches away from her, nearly out of her fur.

“Sweet Celestia, Rip, are you okay?!” asked Derpy, holding a hoof to her heart.

It took a minute for the tearful concern in the mare’s voice to reach Rip through the haze of terror and nausea, but, when it did, she felt guilt drown the rest of her thoughts.

The former-huntress looked at the pegasus with eyes that were oozing tears and asked, in a soft voice, “Why?”

Derpy, despite her name and airheaded mannerisms, seemed to understand the meaning behind that single word and she cantered closer, laid a hoof on Rip’s arm and said, “I know you didn’t mean to do it, you’re a nice vampire. I bet you’re just really, really, really hungry, am I right?”

Rip nodded miserable and withdrew her arm, missing the slight look of saddened disappointment that came over Derpy’s cherubic face.

“I’m sorry.” she whimpered, “I’m so, so sorry, Derpy.”

“It’s okay.” said Derpy, reaching out and cupping Rip’s trembling chin with a hoof, “We all make mistakes. Are you feeling okay now? Are you still thirsty?”

Rip nodded, “Ja, but I can hold it back.”

“Are you sure?” asked Derpy, “You seemed pretty sick back there. I think I’ll have Twilight and Fluttershy take a look at you when they get back; maybe Twilight’s magic can help you.”

Rip turned to look at the kind mare, “Vhy are you helping me?”

Derpy sighed, then she said, in a grim tone, “My eldest daughter Sparkler has very serious depression: She feels worthless, she says that she doesn’t deserve to live, she often talks about how nothing matters and how empty and miserable she feels.”

She clasped both hooves around Rip’s hand as she continued.

“I cannot even begin to count the times that I’ve had to hold her when she cried when things got bad, or how many times I felt like Sparkler’s condition would lead her to….That. But no matter what happened to her I always helped her through it when she couldn’t do it alone. I was, and always will be there for her.”

“And, over the years, I’ve been there for my friends, too. I held Rainbow Dash after the Mare Do Well incident, I dried Twilight’s tears when the winter wrap-up got to be too much for her and I let Fluttershy cry into my shoulder when Gilda bullied her.”

Rip looked at her with uncomprehending eyes, “But…. vhat does this have to do with me?”

Derpy smiled softly, “What I’m trying to say is that I’ll be there for you when you need me, too, because that’s what friends are for.”

Rip went silent as the grave. Derpy blinked, then waved a hand in front of her face, but got no response.

Sighing, she turned to go, but stopped when she felt Rip’s hand grasp her leg. The wall-eyed pegasus turned and met the vampire’s pleading stare.

“Please, stay with me?” she begged, giving Derpy the most profoundly saddening puppy dog eyes that she had ever seen.

Derpy nodded, then motioned for the vampiress to move over on the couch.

She spent the rest of the day holding Rip in her wings, stroking her hair and whispering that everything would be okay.

And, as the day wore on, Rip actually started to doubt her own rationalizations. As she succumbed to exhaustion and the soothing sounds of Derpy’s voice, she prayed Oh God, please let her be right.

Author's Note

Can you say "Mood Whiplash"?

7.

There was fire all about her, the air was thick with ashes which had once been living people and the roar of gunfire assaulted her like real bullets.

She looked down and saw that she was standing in a rushing river of blood and spent casings.

“War is Hell” went the old proverb, she had never really considered just how true that was.

She heard a baby start to cry off in the distance, only to be swiftly silenced.

Rip sobbed and fell to her knees, shivering at the coldness of the river, but too anguished to care; She looked upwards and saw the bombers go up in bright flames while misfired missiles erupted like mono-colored fireworks.

How many are dead? she wondered, How many mothers will weep for the loss of their sons and daughters? How many wives will have to hear about how their husbands were shot down in the line of duty? How many of their lovers will weep silently as the death toll rises, knowing that their secret will remain as such forever?

She pressed a hand to her face and looked down, the guilt piling upon her back like lead weights.

“I’m so sorry.” she whispered, closing her eyes even though it she knew that it wouldn’t help; You can’t hide from your memories.

The sounds of battle stopped as suddenly as if someone had flipped some mystical and all-encompassing OFF switch. Rip opened her eyes and gasped in shock when she saw where she was kneeling….and who was sitting with her.

She was in a grassy field, filled with flowers of every imaginable color and warmed by a shining sun.

The individual who was sitting with her was another pony, but this one was far taller than the others, and possessed both a horn and wings. Her fur was as blue as the deep sea and her starry mane flowed and roiled like liquid.

Rip opened her mouth, then shut it just as quickly, she was at a loss for what to say.

The blue pony smiled and said, “Greetings, Rip Van Winkle.”

The unexpected use of her name restored her speech and she asked, “Who are you….and how do you know my name?”

The tall pony chuckled, “We-I mean I am Luna, princess of the night and of dreams. I know your name because I’ve been inside your mind-albeit very, very briefly.”

Rip was stunned, “You-you know about me? And you’re not afraid of me?”

Luna’s smiled didn’t waver, but Rip could see sadness take up residence in her eyes.

“No, I am not afraid of you. I know that you are a sad person who made her share of mistakes and wants to atone for them; I know all too well what that is like.”

Luna looked Rip in the eyes and Rip stared back, seeing the truth in the Night Princess’ words.

Luna turned to the bright, sprawling field that lay ahead and gestured with a silver-shod hoof, “I thought that this would be a nice change from that….horrible place.”, Rip felt her cheeks heat up when Luna shuddered.

“S-so….you can...control dreams?” she asked softly, an idea forming in her mind even as the words left her mouth.

“Yes, I can alter the dreamscape at will..” said Luna.

“Can...can you make a specific dreamscape?” asked Rip.

“I can indeed.” said the Night Princess with a smile, “Is there a place in particular that you’d like to see?”

Rip nodded solemnly and then told her.

Derpy and the recently-returned Twilight and Fluttershy watched as the vampire’s nightmare-induced whimpering and writhing died down to be replaced with a small smile that radiated relief.

“I guess Luna found her.” said Twilight with a smile.

“Oh, thank Celestia,” said Fluttershy “I was just about to wake her up. But you can always count on Luna to save the day.”

“I wonder what she’s dreaming about now.” said Derpy, watching in confusion as Rip’s smile was replaced by a strange look that she wasn’t completely sure what to make of; It looked almost like a cross between acceptance and sadness.

Neither Twilight nor Fluttershy responded and, after a minute more, they left Rip to her sleep.

She stood in the spacious room, the bright light that emanated from somewhere far above her made the marble pillars and floor gleam like sun-struck water.

Rip looked around and smiled sadly.

They were all there.

She walked up to the nearest wall and inspected the first golden plaque that her eyes landed on. The inscription read: Thomas Wolfe.

I remember him. she thought as she let the words etch themselves into her mind, He was a Russian soldier that I crossed paths with during my first mission….I got shot in the leg, but my bullets still found their mark, just as they always did.

Placing a hand on the plaque she said, in a low voice, “I’m sorry, Thomas. I ended your life and let your mother without a son, I hope that, wherever you are, you can forgive me.”

She let the tears fall as she stood up and moved on to the next plaque.

She knew that it would take many more dreams, but it was the only way that she knew how to start her atonement.

Maybe one day I can sleep peacefully. she thought, But, until then, I must remember those that I wronged and hope that they can forgive me.

She bent down and read the next plaque and hoped.