But... That's My Big Brother

by TundraStanza

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Flash Sentry, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3588

Some call her "Blue Scootaloo". That's not such a big deal to her. Some call her big brother "Dead Meat". This troubles her greatly.

Day in and day out, Archer goes to school and tries her hardest. It's her calling to aim high and hit the mark. But when she starts hearing ponies saying choice words about her big brother...
Well, her aim begins to falter.
---
One-shot.
(Why doesn't Archer have her own tag?)
---
Edit: There's more blushing Tootsie Flute in the side-quel.
Sun Glimmer's turn in the spotlight: For Whom The Bell Does Not Toll
Another one-shot technically in the same "universe": Not the Oppressive Injection

Published 2014-07-09 16:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-09 16:20:03 UTC

Ready, Aim, Freeze

The string was pulled taut. The point was lined up with the last unfrozen spot on the target. All she had to do was land one more shot before the competition and she'd win the gold. She didn't blink as her teeth held for one more second.

*Zwip!*

The ice arrow flew through the air. Her target was completely covered in ice. She had done it. Ponyville had its first medal in the Ice Archery event. The other ice archers gave disappointed frowns. However, the crowd cheered as one. They approved of their new champion.

"Archer! Archer! Archer!"

"Archer! Dinner's ready!"

"Coming, Mother!" she hollered.

The blue earth filly sighed as the dream faded. She stood there a moment holding her replica war-bow. Over on her backyard fence, twelve suction-cupped arrows held firm against the marker-drawn target. That was the bare minimum that the ice archers ever had to use in an official event.

Idly, she looked back at her golden bow-and-arrow cutie mark. She remembered seeing it one day in class after feeling like one of Ms. Cheerilee's best and brightest students. As far as grades were concerned, Archer's were in the class's top five. Now, she wanted to make the meaning of her talent a bit more tangible. The first Equestria Games where she would be of the registration age limit were in eight years. The more practice she got in between now and then, the better.

But professionals couldn't work on an empty stomach. With a nod of acknowledgement, she hoisted her bow onto her back and headed inside. It was time for the champion's meal of mac and beets.

"Hey, Scootaloo! When did you dye yourself blue?"

Not this again, Archer internally groaned. She put on a forced grin to the two colts scampering up beside her.

All the grown-ups she ever talked to said that everypony was special. Some just happened to be a little more special than others. Archer admitted to herself that these two ponies were kind of cute when they didn't open their mouths. But as soon as they said something, she wanted to turn invisible so that they could bother somepony else.

"Wow, you finally got your cutie mark. Congratulations!"

"Fellows," she addressed the pair formally, "we have been over this. I am Archer. I have had my cutie mark for almost a year now." She pointed to her back. "Also, no wings."

Snips opened his eyes wide before pretending to shrink away. "Oh geez. Sorry, Archer. Come on, Snails! Maybe one of the other Cutie Mark Crusaders knows where Scootaloo is."

His best friend nodded as they hurried on down the path.

"Hey, Sweetie Belle!" Snails called, "When did you change your colors?"

"Not this again!" groaned Sun Glimmer loudly.

Archer shook her head and continued her long trot.

Upon arriving at her desk, Archer positioned her bag and supplies just so. She then turned and waved at Tootsie Flute in the desk next to her. The other filly's face turned a bit red before she returned a smaller wave. By this point, Archer had accepted the weird behavior as normal. At least it wasn't annoying like the confusion Snips and Snails made about her. Seriously, how hard was it to tell an earth pony apart from a pegasus pony? They looked nothing alike.

In any case, Archer promptly turned to the front as Ms. Cheerilee walked in and stood in front of her desk.

"Good morning, my little ponies," she greeted brightly.

"Good morning, Ms. Cheerilee," responded the students with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

"I have an announcement before we get started," declared Ms. Cheerilee, "We have a guest speaker today who has graciously volunteered to help provide a visual for our lesson on Equestria's Royal Guard." She motioned toward the door. "Please, come in."

The gold armor wasn't surprising. After all, that was the standard outfit for most of the Princesses' guard ponies. It was the pony wearing the armor that made Archer gasp in excitement. Her eyes widened in glee.

"Greetings, fillies and gentecolts," said the guard to his audience, "My name is Flash Sentry."

It wasn't until the guest opened his eyes that Archer remembered to close her mouth. Still, she couldn't hide her giddy smile. On the contrary, Flash Sentry turned his head directly at her. He didn't return the silent squee, but she saw his eyes twinkle in joy all the same. To everypony's surprise, he stopped what he was about to say in favor of trotting over to Archer's desk.

"Why hello there, milady," he greeted. Then in an even bigger surprise, he held her hoof in his and proceeded to kiss it.

Archer used her other hoof to stifle a giggle. As quickly as the moment had happened, the armored guard pony was already trotting back to the front of the classroom. To save professional face, Ms. Cheerilee gave a slight cough.

"Thank you for that demonstration of a gentlecolt's noble greeting to royalty," she expressed, "Now then, would you care to share with the class a little back story regarding the Royal Guard?"

"But of course." Flash Sentry cleared his throat. "Now then..."

After the lecture had finished, it was time for the class's snack/recess break. The crusading trio ran out the door, having a discussion of potential tether-ball cutie marks. As Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon walked away, Silver Spoon readjusted her glasses. A glare of light briefly reflected off her lenses. Archer hung back and gave Flash Sentry a big hug.

"I am so glad to see you," she told him.

"The feeling is mutual," he replied with a small grin. "I have a couple things to take care of, but I'll be sure to walk you home after school. Okay?"

"Verily!" Archer gave a quick salute before scampering out the door.

This little amount of free time was always a conundrum for Archer. The playground was a vast domain. There was always so much she could do, but she never had enough minutes to do all of it. She rubbed her chin in thought. What was the best way to play today?

"Uh... um..."

Archer snapped out of her thought at the little voice coming from her left. It was the blusher.

"Oh, how does it go, Flute?" Archer inquired.

"Eep!" squeaked Tootsie Flute. "Well, I... er... H-Here!" The shaking filly put forth her hoof, holding open a paper bag.

Archer pointed a hoof between the bag and herself with a questionable look on her face. Tootsie Flute gave a hesitant nod. To that, Archer reached a hoof over to grip the open side of the bag to get a better look at its contents.

"Fudge squares!" Archer noted aloud. She looked up at the one offering. "May I?"

Tootsie Flute nodded again. With permission granted, Archer reached in and pulled one of the treats out. She took a bite and immediately sighed in satisfaction.

"Did you make these yourself?" Archer asked.

"Mm-hm." Tootsie's voice couldn't be heard by anyone except herself and Archer.

Archer took another bite. "These are really good. Thank you for sharing, Flute."

Tootsie Flute's face turned a slight tint of crimson. She turned away while continuing to hold the bag awkwardly. Archer tilted her head in confusion. She still didn't understand why her classmate kept looking away like something was wrong whenever Archer showed her a polite gesture. She shrugged and swallowed the rest of her fudge square.

"I'd be careful if I were you."

Tootsie Flute looked back up as Archer turned to face the extra voice. All of the grown-ups told her that every filly and colt was special. Though, she wished that some fillies wouldn't constantly remind her how "special" they were.

"What are you blabbing about, Spoon?" Archer asked as evenly as possible.

Diamond Tiara answered instead. "If you keep up that affectionate act toward others, you might upset your boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" Archer raised her eyebrow.

"Please don't play dumb," teased Silver Spoon, "The whole class saw him give you a kiss this morning."

Archer tried to recall a moment that they could be referring to. Aside from Snips and Snails acting like their usual selves, what other boy did she interact with today? Her mind suddenly latched onto a realization. She couldn't help but chuckle at the rich kids' naivety.

"He isn't my boyfriend," she said smugly.

"He's not?" Diamond Tiara tilted her head.

"He is my brother," clarified Archer.

The lights went on in the upstairs compartments referred to as Tiara's and Spoon's heads. Plan A had to be quickly aborted as well as Plans B, C, and D. They were about to walk away slowly before their minds settled on Plan L. It was time to reach for another flightless level of low.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry," said Diamond Tiara.

"You... are?" wondered Archer. Who is this changeling and what has she done with Tiara?

"Yeah, we feel like so sorry for you," added Silver Spoon.

Archer continued to stare at them in confusion. By this point, the blusher had set her bag down and was observing the situation cautiously.

"I don't understand," admitted Tootsie Flute. "What are you sorry about?"

"Well, anypony who is related to Flash Sentry must be living in shame right about now," Diamond Tiara held a hoof against her head for a dramatic effect.

"Real shame." Silver Spoon mirrored the pose.

Archer narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

Tiara flicked her hoof across one side of her mane. "Surely you know that it's a crime to be the perfect Royal Guard."

Spoon copied the motion. "Yeah, I heard that at least a thousand ponies want him executed on perfection charges alone."

Archer scoffed. "That is ludicrous. There is no such thing as a death sentence against perfection."

"Well, there wouldn't be," Diamond Tiara admitted, "if there wasn't an additional charge that even the Princess can't overlook."

"One bad thing that tips the hammer against him." Silver Spoon nodded in a sage imitation.

"And what might that be?" asked Archer skeptically.

"You mean to tell me that you don't know?" Tiara looked shocked.

"You're his sister and you don't even know?" reiterated Spoon.

"Know what?" Archer and Tootsie Flute asked at the same time.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon exchanged a glance. They looked left. They looked right. They motioned with their hooves to come closer. Flute immediately leaned in. Archer sighed, knowing that she really should just walk away right then and there. But to humor them, she resignedly leaned toward the duo as well.

The rich duo whispered, "He had an affair with Princess Twilight."

The wheels screeched from a delivery carriage across the street.

"What?!" Archer harshly breathed.

"There are at least a million ponies that have written for his head on that charge," added Tiara.

"Y-You are lying," stammered Archer.

"Sure, that kind of action is legal in Equestria," Spoon kept going, "but with a Princess? You need permission through marriage first. That's the only thing saving Prince Shining Armor from his own charges."

Archer stomped her hoof. "Cease and desist at once! I cannot believe I allowed myself to listen to the garbage you call speaking!" She shoveled down a second fudge square before grabbing Tootsie Flute's hoof. "Come along, Flute. Let us see if we cannot assist the Cutie Mark Crusaders in obtaining their marks in tether-ball."

Tootsie Flute blushed as she was dragged along. "Uh... okay."

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon watched the flustered pair move away. As soon as they were out of hearing range, they replaced their sorrowful facades for a pair of smirks.

"I think we've met our quota today," Spoon commented.

"Yeah," agreed Tiara, "I feel so good that I don't even feel the need to hound the Blank Flanks today."

They each reached into the abandoned bag and pulled out a fudge square. They performed a mock toast before enjoying the fruit of their hard, heckling work.

They are lying. They have to be.

Back at her desk, Archer started flipping her pencil around atop her hoof. Her brow was furrowed and she couldn't get rid of the scrunch in her mouth. She wanted to focus on Ms. Cheerilee's post-recess lecture, but it sounded like warbling background noise at the moment.

My brother isn't like that. He's a proud Royal Guard, for Celestia's sake! The Royal Guard doesn't get involved in... that.

She didn't even see the piece of paper set on top of the stuff on her desk. She twirled the pencil even more rapidly.

Do they?

The pencil was practically spinning like a top.

But... what if they do? What if he did? Will he really be executed? They can't do that to him! ... Can they?

"And that's time!" declared Ms. Cheerilee. "Please pass your papers to the front."

"Huh?"

Archer's pencil went flying into the apple on Ms. Cheerilee's desk before smashing it against the chalkboard. The rest of the classroom's occupants stared in shock at the blue filly. But she was too busy staring down at the piece of paper she hadn't noticed until right then.

For the first time in her life, Archer was turning in a blank pop quiz.

*Ding! Dong-Ding! Ding! Dong-Ding! Ding! Dong-Ding!*

"Alright, Pinkie Pie! That's enough!" called Cheerilee.

"Okie-dokie-lokie!" the bell ringer called back before happily skipping away.

Meanwhile, Archer was too caught up in her own thoughts. Her hooves kept to their automatically straight line she followed on the path home.

Tiara always lies. Tiara always lies. Tiara always lies.

"Equus to Archer! Come in, please."

A spark went off in Archer's mind. Her eyes scanned wildly for the caller of her name. She was surprised to see her big brother trotting up to her.

"Sentry? What are you doing here?" she inquired.

"I did say I would walk the lady home. Is this not correct?" he reminded her.

"Oh, right." Archer patted a hoof against her head to recollect herself. "'Twas so."

She stepped in line beside her big brother. Though, her eyes became fixated on the path ahead. She was trying to enjoy her brother's company. Truly, she was. But for some reason, today just wasn't allowing her to be merry in his presence.

As she passed by other ponies in town, enjoyment became an increasingly difficult task. Archer saw the eyes of these ponies staring at her and her brother with not-so-smiling faces. The words of Tiara and Spoon ate at the back of her mind.

One million ponies... execution charge... affair with... Princess...

Archer shook her head and frowned deeply. No! Tiara always lies! ... Right?

The blank stares from passersby weren't helping her hold onto her heart's belief in the truth.

Those eyes... My brother is a good guard. Why do their gazes at him contain disapproval?

She barely heard Flash Sentry's thoughtful hum. She did, however, hear him clear his throat quite clearly.

"Pardon me, Lady Archer," he addressed her.

"What ho!" she exclaimed before letting out an awkward cough. "I mean... what ails ye, Sentry?"

"I find myself suddenly parched," he explained. "Would you care to join me in my venture into the nearest, fine establishment?"

Flash Sentry pointed a hoof toward the building in question. Archer couldn't help but release a quick chuckle at how he had just described Sugarcube Corner. Fine establishment, indeed.

"I would be delighted to," she replied with a curtsy. She then stood on her hoof-tips to whisper into his ear. "Won't Mother be mad at us for spoiling our appetites?"

"Don't worry," he whispered back, "I know how to handle Mother."

The sweets' shop was fairly empty today. That wasn't surprising, considering it was a school day. Most of the regulars had already come in that morning for their pick-me-up needs. Flash Sentry considered this to be a good thing. He and his little sister needed some time to themselves.

He ordered a couple of the smaller cakes as well as two foamy drinks. After that, the siblings found seats off in the corner of the shop. Archer took a sip of her shake before nibbling her treat. Sentry, on the other hoof, barely touched his own. The food was meant more as a distracting excuse. He took his helmet off and set it down beside him.

"Talk to me, Archy," he gently requested, "What's on your mind?"

Archer gulped, more air than cupcake. This was discussion bait and she had taken it hook, line, and sinker. She sighed before letting her her emotions become clearer.

"What do you know about Princess Twilight Sparkle?" she inquired.

"Hmm." Sentry thought that this would come up sooner or later. "I know of her. I know her title. What do you think?"

"So..." Archer sipped her shake again before continuing. "Are you two... a couple?"

"Tch!" Sentry held back a spit. "That's probably the fifth time I've heard us being described that way... twenty if you count the times I've heard it when the other guards thought I couldn't hear them."

Archer's face scrunched up in uncertainty. "Did you ever... you know...?" She made little invisible circles with her hoof in the air.

He shook his head. "Personally, I don't believe that bumping into each other twice in the hallway by mistake is enough to qualify as an intimate intercourse."

Her ears perked up. "So, there isn't any affair?"

"Rumors are rumors," said Sentry, "It's up to the listener to stop them."

Archer sighed in relief. Sentry took advantage of the pause in the questioning to take a sip of his shake.

"How did such a thing even start?" Archer wondered.

Sentry set his cup down and shrugged. "There are some ponies that assume romance whenever two ponies so much as exist in the same universe. Heck, I bet there are some ponies outside that window right now who think you and I are an item."

At that moment, Pinkie Pie popped up in front of the window looking straight at you. She narrowed her eyes as she lowered herself below the window. A deep horn played a note in the background.

"But I digress," dismissed Sentry. "What made you start thinking about this?"

"Well, Tiara and Spoon brought it to my attention," admitted Archer.

"Are they bullies in the class?" he guessed in the form of a question.

"That's putting it mildly," she shuddered before continuing, "Then I saw some of the ponies looking at you with disdain and... well..."

"Worst-case scenario presumption." Sentry closed his eyes and nodded. "I understand. It's not always easy to separate the facts from the fiction when connections can be made between almost anything."

"So... why do some ponies... really, really dislike you?" wondered Archer. "You're the best big brother I know."

He opened his eyes and chuckled. "Ever heard Lincolt's expression about fooling some of the ponies?"

"Yeah?" she responded, waiting for him to continue.

"Well, Lid Gate had a corollary that went something like this: 'Every pony can be pleased by some things, and some ponies can be pleased by everything. However, not all things can please every pony'." He took a big bite of his cupcake and swallowed. "Basically, no matter how good you strive to be, there will always be one or more ponies that dislike you for some reason."

"But, why?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Who can say? But more importantly, does it really matter? What you do with life is up to the destiny that you strive towards. The disdain from a few thousand or a few million isn't going to stop me from performing my duties in the best way that I can."

"What about the rumors about your future execution?" she inquired.

"Archy." Sentry looked dead serious. "In my position, I'd have to try pretty darn hard to make the Princesses angry enough to consider firing me, let alone hold an execution. I have no intention of testing their patience to such a degree."

Archer blinked. A snort escaped her nose. A chuckle escaped her lips. Fits of giggling erupted into a full-blown chortle session.

"Oh, Sweet Celestia. I'm terrible," Archer said between laughs, "I'm laughing at the basic requirements of incurring the Royal Wrath."

"You think that's bad?" Flash Sentry smirked. "You should have been there when I broke out in chuckles after hearing a preposterous story about horse meat in confectionery."

The siblings laughed together, loud and hard. Archer even started banging the table. The morbidness was just too funny. At some point, the Element of Laughter herself joined in the fun.

"What are we laughing at?" she asked while smiling brightly. However, neither of the customers could find the breath to answer her. She shrugged before continuing to add her giggles to the cacophony.

"Hast thine thirst been quenched, Sir Sentry?" Archer inquired.

"Indubitably so," affirmed the Royal Guard pony. "Shall we proceed to our living quarters for the evening?"

"Assuredly!" The filly accepted the proclamation with excited approval.

"Bye!" Pinkie Pie waved at the departing ponies. "Come back again soon!"

As they trotted on their way, Archer started humming a few bars. Although Celestia was setting her sun, the day was looking brighter than ever. It always did after a good talk with her big brother.

Author's Note

I needed to blow off some steam.
Tune in again sometime in the future when I attempt to submit a one-shot about Tom.