Battlefield Friends Equestrian Adventure

by Gauge Runner

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 4565

The Battlefield Friends are sen't to Equestria. Luna and Celestia see them as beasts and try to hunt them down.

The Battlefield Friends are sent to Equestria by an explosion, instead of respawning on the same battlefield they've come to know over the past years they end up in Equestria.

Published 2014-07-11 20:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-15 20:39:50 UTC

Chapter 1

It was a normal day in Shanghai, Obliteration. Two teams would fight over a bomb and blow up certain objectives, we follow the Alpha squad as they have captured the bomb. The Alpha squad was composed of four players, Neebs, Thick44, Doraleous and Appsro.
Unfortunately for them, the noob known as Neebs had grabbed the bomb first. When they reached their destination they all defended Neebs while he would arm the bomb.

"ENEMY SUPPORT INCOMING!"

"Why didn't he arm the bomb!?" Doraleous yelled not going to be able to defend much longer.

"Fuck this! Come on guys get inside the building!" Appsro yelled

Thick, Doraleous and Appsro retreated into the building where they were supposed to arm the bomb, when they got inside they were given the sight of the noob tea bagging an enemy's face.

"What the fuck are you doing!" Appsro yelled

"I'm tea bagging this guys face obviously" The noob retorted, saying it like it was normal.

"Arm the bomb you fucktard!" Thick yelled

The noob groaned, and with a "Fine" He walked over and planted the bomb, a loud siren started to noise throughout the building they were in.

"Okay shit, guys be ready! Enemy's should start pouring in any second now" Appsro reminded his team mates.

Neeb's didn't hear or seam to care as he continued the tea bag the only remains of the soldier he killed, which was blood and gun.

While Appsro and Doraleous watched the big glass window with their gun's raised,Thick was watching a lone door with his M9 pistol raised. The dreaded bunny sniper hoped through the door, Thick's rival. Thick began firing at the enemy recon but to no avail, it kept hopping all over the place. Thick, determined to kill his rival charged with his knife raised and began to try and stab him.

While that was happening, Appsro and Doraleous lit up anyone who dared walked through the now broken window.
Neebs stopped tea bagging the gun and the little pool of blood as he finally took note of his surroundings. He was about to go and help his friends until he noticed something off about the objective they were supposed to destroy, he walked over oblivious to the blaring siren which meant death was imminent.

He noticed as he walked over to the objective the lone screen said transport, Neebs being the curious one, hit square on his playstation four controller. Time seemed to stop as the bomb exploded, there was a brilliant shade of colors that seemed to come out of now where and consume The Alpha squad.

"Uuuggh" Neebs woke up in a groan. His face was currently in dirt. He stood up on his legs but he felt different, he felt much heavier.
He looked down to his body to see a chain of bullets around his neck, and other assortments of military gear. He was about to pluck the pin of one of his many mini grenades when he heard an audible groan come behind from him.
Neebs turned around and immediately recognized one of his friends. "DORALEOUS!" Neebs ran full speed at his friend and gave him a bear hug. "Neebs? What the fuck, why are you cosplaying?" Neebs set his friend down. "Isn't this cool! we got guns!" Neebs added to his statement more by wielding his M249.

Doraleous reached behind his back to find that he also had his weapon, unlike his Nooby friend Doraleous actually had attachments for his gun. Doraleou's gun of choice was the AEK-971. "Wait a minute, if were here then the other guys must be here!" Doraleou's revelation made Neebs all giddy. "Then we should go find them!" Neebs said while doing a fist pump. And with that Neebs ran in a random direction like the "clueless fuck" Appsro always calls him.

"Wait Neebs!" But Neebs didn't care as he kept running. "That dumbass!" Doraleous followed suit.
______________________________________________________________________________________

"Yawn!" Thick awoke with a loud yawn as he opened his eyes. "Wait a minute! I remember going to sleep with my pajamas on"
Thick looked down at his current attire to see that he was wearing the Recon getup. "What the fuck?" Thick question as he looked at his clothes. It was also probably noteworthy to note that he was sitting in the back of a MRAP.

The doors to the back of the vehicle opened to reveal one of Thick's friend's Appsro who happened to be wearing his Engineer kit clothing. "Were having the same dream I see" He said. "Dream?" Thick questioned. "Well how else are we supposed to wake up in the middle of the forest wearing military gear, while having a military vehicle" Thick hopped out of the vehicle and responded with "Drugs" "Meh, better then my assumption"

As they idly stared at the military vehicle."Do you thi-" "That Doraleous and dumbshit are here to?" Appsro finished for Thick.
"You read my mind" Appsro opened the drivers down and got in with Thick following suit in the other door. "So how do you propose we find them?" Thick asked.

"Well how about we just drive around and see what happens?"

"Sure"

____________________________________________________________________

Doraleous and Neebs were out of breath and they were both leaning against a rock. "Did you really have to run for twenty minutes straight?" Doraleous asked. " I was hoping we could find Thick and Appsro in this forest" Neebs said with his energy drained.
"Im suprised we didn't find them, with you running through trees. By the way how the fuck did you run through a tree?"

"I'm awesome"

"Riiight" Doraleous leaned back on the rock fanning himself with his hand.
Before any of them could say anything else they heard the sound of a vehicle. Neebs instantly shot up looking around rapidly. "Doraleous do you hear that!?" Neebs shouted still scoping out his surroundings. "it sounds like a vehicle" Doraleous said getting off the ground. Sure enough a friendly MRAP came into view, it was going at a slow steady pace but still fast enough you would need to run to catch up to it. Neebs started to run over to the vehicle flailing his arms around yelling "Stop!".
Neebs ran right infront of it and got hit...

"What the shit!" Appsro yelled getting out of the vehicle followed Thick, they came to see their friend getting off the ground, aside from some scratch'es he was fine. "Hey guys!" Neebs yelled, dusting himself off. "Dude how'd you survive that! I know were wearing our gear and i'm not sure if we still share the same video game logic as battlefield, but damn"

"I have no idea!"

There were some bushes rustling behind them, they turned around to be greeted with the sight of Doraleous shaking a few twigs of his body. "Hey Doraleous. I see were all here then" Appsro said seeing Doraleous approach them. "Yes but, where is here?" Doraleous asked.

"Guys!" All heads turned to see that Thick had climbed a large rock that reached over the tree top's and he was currently using his binoculars. " I see a weird medieval settlement not far from us" Thick said as he hopped down from the rock.
"Well then I guess we head there" Appsro said. But before he could say anything else Neebs yelled "DRIVING!!" Before anyone could do anything Neebs sped off in the vehicle.

"Okay i'm sorry!" Neebs said. It took a full half-hour to stop Neeb's eradic driving. Appsro rubbed the bridge of his temples and sighed.

"Okay, whatever can we please get the fuck out of this forest" Thick said as he got in the back of the MRAP, followed by Doraleous.
Appsro hooped into the driver's seat while Neebs got into the passenger seat.

It wasn't a long drive until they came across a cottage with various animal houses around it, they kept driving. As they were driving they also spotted an orchard not far from the cottage. They finally came across the small village they were hoping to find. "Okay guys,were going to park our truck here" Appsro said as he got out, soon followed by his friends. As they entered the small town they were greeted with nothing.As they ventured further they noticed some of the windows were boarded up. "Is there a zombie apocalypse happening!" Neebs yelled as he grabbed his heavy M249. "I highly doubt that's an actual thing Noob" Doraleous replied.
"But it could happen!" Neebs yelled pointing his finger at Doraleous and giving him a serious look.

Unbeknownst to them, they were being watched with fearful colorful eyes.

__________________________

"Should we go talk to them?"

"What! No! They're evil monsters!"

"What if they came here to eat us!"

"Uuggh" Groaned Twilight. It was a very stressful night for her, only because she had to clean up one of Pinkie Pie's parties. She decided to sleep in, but there was a commotion coming from downstairs. She lazily got out of her bed and walked downstairs, she was greeted with the sight of her friends all looking out of the blinds of her windows.

"Whats going on?" All of them nearly jumped into the air in fright. They all came crashing down on the floor.

"What gives Twilight?" Rainbow Dash said, while rubbing her aching head.

"What were you all doing?" Twilight asked again.

"Oh dear Twilight it's absolutely dreadful!" Rarity said as she laid down on her infamous drama sofa.

"There monsters in Ponyville!" Fluttershy meekly replied.

"Look fer' yerself' Twi!" Applejack said as she pointed towards one of the windows. Twilight walked over to the window and looked outside. She was greeted with the sight of strange looking bipedals. "What are those things" Twilight said.
"Why do you think we came to your library?" Rainbow Dash said.

"Well I think we should go talk to them."

"Are you serious Twi? They could be dangerous!" Applejack Exclaimed.

"Yes but, remember the Zecora incident?" After Twilight mentioned that, all their head sunk down.

"We can't judge a book by it's cover"

"Maybe Twi's right y'all"

They all exchanged looks of nervousness before nodding in agreement.

The three of them exited the giant tree house and started to make their way towards the strange new creatures.
______________________________________________
"There no such thing as fucken' vampires!" Appsro yelled.

"You don't know that!" Neebs shot back.

"Guys I don't mean to interrupt your dick measuring competition, but we got some very colorful company headed our way" Doraleous said pointing towards six small ponies that were indeed walking towards them. When the ponies noticed the alien's were watching them, they slowed down a bit in there pace, but with a reasuring "It's going to be fine" from Twilight they kept walking.

They were only a couple of meters away from the alien's when they noticed there actual height difference, They just barely came up to their waist's.

"Are you guys seeing what i'm seeing?" Neebs said, while looking at the small equines.

"Umm, hello?" The small purple pony said.

"Somebody punch me" Thick said, which followed with a *THWACK*. Thick shot Neeb's a death glare that said, I'm getting you later.

"Did you just talk?" Appsro asked the small pony.

"Yes? I believe I did"

"Holy shit" Muttered Doraleous.

Rainbow Dash flew up to eye level with Appsro giving him a questioning look. "So did you come here to eat ponies" Rainbow Dash said while putting her hoof on his chest. "Yea, if I could have my personal space, that would be great" Appsro said while pushing Rainbow Dash away. Rainbow snorted. "I don't trust them"

"If you could exscuse my friends rude behaviour, I'm Twilight Sparkle and I welcome you to Ponyville"

"So that's what this place is called" Neebs said looking around a bit. "Wheres all the ponies at?"

"I'm afraid that ponies here are scared of the unknown a bit" Twilight said glancing behind her. "But could you four follow me towards my library? I need to write a letter to the Princess"

_____________________________________________

Once they got in front of the Library they had to duck under the door to get in. The four head's almost touched the roof of the main floor. Once they all got settled in Twilight used her magic to bring a quill and paper in front of her and began writing her letter.
In middle of writing her letter Twilight stopped and looked at Doraleous. "What's your species name?"
Doraleous raised his brow before responding. "It's Human, or if you wan't to get technical it's homosapien"

After hearing this Twilight began writing on the letter more, until she was finished. When she was done she gave it to Spike who blasted it with his magic fire, which promptly sen't it to the Princess.

_____________________________________________

Celestia was silently sipping on a cup of tea on her balcony when she got a letter from her faithful student Twilight.
"A letter in the morning?" Celestia questioned as she opened it up. Celestia wen't stone cold when she read the letter. "Oh no" She quickly dropped the letter and hurried out of the room.

Dear Princess Celestia

Today four bipedal beings who called themselves humans have walked into Ponyville.
This sen't the town into hiding, them being the superstitious ponies they are they didn't make con-.

The rest of the letter was blotched out by the tea.

_____________________________________________

"How come the Princess hasn't responded yet?" Twilight said while pacing back and forth.
Her four "Visitors" Were reading books. "Look Twilight, the Princess may be busy at the moment. I'm su-" Rarity said trying to calm down the Librarian.
"Oh no! "What if she didn't get the letter! This is a disaster!"

Twilight heard steps coming from behind her, she turned around to see the human that called it'self, Neebs.
"Do you have chips?" Neebs asked. Twilight decided that she would calm down now. "Ugh, there in the cabinet near the sink" And with that, Neebs walked towards the kitchen. He came out with a bag of Potato Chips. Neebs walked back to the small bean bag chair Twilight had in her Library. "Well I guess I can wait for the Prince-" Twilight had no time to finish her sentance, mostly because the front of her Library exploded. In the front of the library stood two Princess's. Luna and Celestia. To say Twilight was shocked was an' understatement.

Luna flew in front of Neebs who was still eating the Potato Chips. "WHAT DOES THOU HAVE TO SAY FOR THYSELF!? RETCHED
HUMAN!"

Neebs was confused at best, as to why the Princess of the Moon was standing in front of him. ( He read books)
Neebs slowly lifted his hand which had a potato chip in it. "Wan't one?" Luna mustered up all of her magic and threw Neebs out of the Library.

"What the sam shit is going on!?" Appsro yelled.

Celestia looked at Appsro. "You are under arrest for crimes againts't Equestria and her Ponies!"

Appsro, Thick and Doraleous backed up a bit. "What should we do?" Thick asked as he looked at his comrades. "Book it" Doraleous said.

Neebs, Thick,Doraleous and Appsro made a mad dash through the Princess's towards their armored vehicle. They weren't stupid, If the books about the two Princess's is true, would you wan't to fight a being that could move the sun?

As they rounded the next corner towards there vehicle they saw a familiar sight standing by a transport helicopter.

"SIMON!?" Neebs shouted.

Chapter 2

"Hey guys!" Simon yelled as the four soldiers ran up to him.
"We have to hurry!" Thick yells as he gets into the front seat of the helicopter.
"What's going on?" Simon questions.

"Neebs and Simon! Take the Mrap back to base!" Appsro yells as he Thick and Doraleous take off in the helicopter.
"Neebs whats's going on" Neebs jumps into the driver seat of the armored vehicle. "No time to explain, but get in!"
Simon hops into the passenger seat and with that they drive into the forest.
"Simon would you believe me if I told you we were in another world?" Neebs asked."Are you saying were in a different world! That's so awesome!" Simon yelled while looking out at the forest they were traversing through.

______________________________________________

Back in Ponyville Celestia and Luna were explaining to the elements what humans were and why they needed to capture the four.

"They were war mongers that killed their own kind for their own need's." Celestia explained while shaking her head.
"And we were unfortunate enough to have a run in with some humans long ago" Luna added.
"Wait, so your'e saying these are not the first humans in Equestria?" Rainbow Dash asked. "I'm afraid not. When the first humans appeared they seemed friendly enough, but that was until they started attacking random villages and murdering all who lived their" Celestia said grimacing at the way they slaughtered without second thought. "How did you git rid of those nasty things then?" Applejack asked.

"We never vanquished the humans, they just disappeared"
"So your'e saying they just ditched Equestria after attacking it?" Rarity Inquired. "That's not the case here. When one of our scouts found their base we investigated it. It was in ruins. Somebody set it on fire, we assumed the humans did this but most of their belongings were still in the fire"

"So, what are we going to do about these new humans? They didn't seem so bad as you described them Princess" Twilight asked.

"That's the part that scared me. When they first got here they seemed like really nice people, but when their true intentions shined, it was a nightmare" Celestia said.

"We also speculated the same events might unfold again. They show up, befriend us, cause destruction and then leave" Luna Added.

"Well I guess that explains the royal guards" Rainbow Dash said looking at all of the clone like ponies, they all held spears and wore golden armor. "We have tracked the humans location with our magic" Luna said while putting her hooves on her head.
"Though it is putting a strain on our mind, it seems they are travelling at high speeds"

"We shall be going now. Elements follow us" Celestia said.

____________________________________________

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Both Simon and Neebs yelled. They were blaring down one of the roads within the Everfree forest while yelling profusely. "Shut the fuck up!" Appsro yelled over their communications, clearly annoyed at the two support's antics.
The Transport chopper that held Appsro, Doraleous and Thick were not to far ahead from Neebs and Simon.
"Oh my god were going so fast right now!" Simon yelled while laughing.

As they continued to let out their cry's of joy they failed to notice an oncoming ravine. "Hey Neebs!" Simon yelled still laughing.
"Yeah bud! What is it!?" Neebs yelled. "I think that's a ravine right there!" Simon said pointing at the massive hole in the ground.
"Oh yeah that is a raaaaaaaaaaaavvviiiinnneee!" Both Neebs and Simon screamed for their lives as they fell into the unknown.

"Holy fucking shit!" Doraleous yelled as he saw the armored vehicle disappear into the mist below. "Are they okay?" Thick said.
The helicopter stopped over the ravine and looked down. "Should we go do-" A blue light beam hit the side of their helicopter like a small rocket. "What the fuck was that!" Appsro yelled desperately trying to land the transport chopper. Another beam hit, this time it almost destroyed the helicopter.

"Fuck! everyone get out!" Appsro yelled. Thick and Doraleous didn't need to be told a second time as they followed close behind them. The helicopter exploded and sent the three of them flying. As they groggily got up they noticed they were in front of an old abandoned castle. Once they got up the looked behind them to see two flying horses. Celestia and Luna channeled their magic together and shot out a brilliant beam of white and blue. It hit Appsro square in the chest. He was sen't flying about ten meters. Thick and Doraleous rushed two his side, quickly getting him up. Amazingly enough no damage had been done to Appsro, he seemed just fine.

Luna and Celestia looked at each other it confirmed their fears, they were immune to magic. Luna and Celestia landed graciously followed by twenty pegasi. Only Pegasi were fast enough to keep up with the humans. "Surrender thyselves!" Luna yelled in the Canterlot voice. The three soldier gripped their weapons tightly knowing this could be a hard battle. "Okay guys i'm certain we can do this!" Thick reassured them holding his g18 tightly. "Should we really kill them?" Appsro asked looking at his comrades.
"Are you saying we should negotiate with them?" Doraleous said looking at Appsro. "Well i don't wan't to sound like a pussy here but where the fuck are we supposed to go?" Thick and Doraleous looked at each other not knowing where Engineer was going with this. " We'll be outlaws in this place! We still know nothing about this place, aside from a few books"

"Who's going to negotiate with them then?" Doraleous asked. Appsro looked at Thick."What! Why me!"
"Because your'e the least intimidating out of us" Appsro reminded. "Wait, really?"
"It doesn't matter just go!" Doraleous said motioning him towards the two deity's and twenty guards.
Thick dropped his rifle and walked towards the princesses with his hands raised.
"HALT!" One of the guards yelled. "Your'e lucky we don't kill you were you stand human!" Luna growled.
"Look" Thick started. "I don't know what got you all riled up so fucking much, but I think we deserve an explanation!" Thick almost yelled. Luna and Celestia looked at each other and talked using their magic so only they could hear. "It seems they don't know" Celestia said while looking at the humans. "They could be devising a trap" Luna said while looking at the humans with a cold gaze. "Before we can make any plans of peace, we must confiscate their weapons"
"Are you seriously going to take their plans of peace! After what they did!?" Luna said, making Celestia flinch a bit.

"When I look into this ones eyes, I see confusion and fear" Celestia said while looking at Thick with empathy. Making him raise a brow. "Ugh, fine! But if they try anything, they will answer me" Luna said while walking over to Thick but stopped a couple of meters away from him. "Humans! We accept your peace! But for now you will come with us! We will also take your weapons for the time being!"

Appsro and Doraleous threw their rifles, pistols in front of the princess of the night, and followed by Thick.
Luna raised a brow when she looked at Appsro waist where their appeared to be a metal cylinder. "We said all of your weapons" Luna reminded him sternly. "Yeah! This isn't a weapon" He looked at her grumpily.

Appsro, Doraleous and Thick were being 'escorted' out of the forest with spears aiming at them the entire time. But what they failed to notice two other humans climbing out of the ravine.

Once the humans and princesses reached Ponyville they were swarmed with paparazzi. A flash of light going off in the humans face's every three seconds. The agreement for the weapons being confiscated was that if Luna took their weapons they didn't get cuffed. Which led to Appsro smacking a camera out of a ponies hooves or a unicorns magical grasp.

Once they reached town hall, there was a table set up for them were they could be seated. When Appsro, Doraleous got comfy in their seats the two Alicors approached them sitting on the opposite side of the table. Celestia was the first to start the conversation.
"Now I'd like to begin by saying-" "That your'e a complete fucking asshole" Appsro said leaning back in his chair, his snarky attitude returning. He got a couple of *gasps* from the ponies that were watching the spectacle. "Watch your tongue you ve!-" Celestia raised her hoof against Luna chest. "That is enough Luna" Celestia said giving her a stern look. Luna sat back in her seat, not one to go against her sister.

"As I was explaining I would like to apologize for the earlier attack and furthermore I believe we owe you an' explanation"

"Your'e goddamn right we deserve an' explanation after the shit you pulled!" Thick yelled getting up out of his chair, glaring at Celestia. "But before we can explain could we start by introducing ourselves" Celestia started. "I am Pri-"
"Yeah we know who you are!" Appsro interrupted. "I was in a library reading about this weird place. That is until somebody deemed us evil!" Appsro said.

"I guess i'll start" Thick said gaining the attention of the ponies in the room. "My name is Thick and i'm a recon" Thick said.
"Tell me what does it mean to be recon?" Luna asked anger replaced with curiosity. "Well I help scout enemy troops and snipe, oh and also lock onto vehicles with my soflam" Luna was did not understand half the things Thick said but nodded otherwise. The ponies head turned to the next soldier. "I'm Appsro and i'm a Engineer" Knowing that they weren't going to get anything out of Appsro they continued onto Doraleous. "My name is Doraleous and i'm assault. What this means is that i'm usually at the front line's due to my rifle being more powerful then these guy's here. And I also revive fallen teammates.

Celestia looked over the three of them.

"Where's the fourth?" Luna asked.

"We got separated" Appsro quickly responded. Lying.

"Well i'd like to say that you aren't them" Celestia said. The three raised a brow at her. "The reason we attacked was a thousand years ago humans attacked out cities and pillaged them, leaving no survivors, but after a month they disappeared" Celestia looked at Luna motioning for her to continue. "When they reappeared a little over a hundred years later, they seemed nice and quickly gained our trust but. They attacked villages relentlessly we thought for sure you were going to be the same one's again.

"So that's why you attacked us?" Doraleous said.

"And yes,but i'd like to apologize again for my actions again" Celestia said bowing her head.

"I'm not one to hold a grudge, it seems humans gave you quite the plate to handle. I can forgive you" Appsro said followed by Thick and Doraleous.

"I'd like to discuss about the fourth soldier" Luna said gaining their attention.

"Don't worry about him, hell most likely walk out of that forest in a day or two"

Celestia and Luna both looked at each other and nodded. "We are going to post a couple guards here to inform us of their arrival but right now would you three come with us to Canterlot?" Luna asked.

"Why?" Thick asked.

"We would like to learn more about your kind. Because it has obviously advanced a lot last time we saw" Celestia said.

While it took some convincing to tell Appsro he wasn't going to fall out of the carriage her got on it. As they were flying towards Canterlot Appsro looked back at the forest. knowing fully well Neebs and Simon survived.