Rainbow Dash was awesome. This was an absolute fact. When it came to sheer amazingness, you could search all over Equestria and never find anypony who could compete with her. Her flying skills were top notch and nopony could even remotely come close. It was a wonder that she was able to soar through the skies at all, given the fact that her mere presence should have been enough to excite every pony she came in contact with.
At least, this is what she told herself as she blasted through the skies, quickly clearing the clouds that marred the air above Ponyville. It was simple work, nothing that was really fitting of her incredible skills, but at least it put food on the table. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy the chance to spend all day out in the fresh air, but she just couldn't help but feel a little bit disappointed that nopony gasped with delight whenever she bucked a particularly large cloud into oblivion.
As she dissipated the last cloud for the day, once again in nearly record time, she hovered over the town and waited. Ponies trotted about back and forth, as Rainbow stared down at them. Not a single one bothered to say thank you, acknowledge her amazing skills, or even look up at her. Her brow furrowed as she crossed her hooves. Clearly, the ponies in this town were not smart enough to notice how incredible their weather mare truly was. If she was going to get the praise that she deserved, she was going to need to find something else to do in order to show off her skills. She just needed to find the right pony to--
Aha! In the distance, she could just make out a grey and yellow shape moving ever so slowly away from the Everfree Forest. Rainbow Dash couldn't help but smirk at her own cleverness. She only knew of one pony that had such a distinct color scheme in town, and fortunately they would also be the perfect pony for Rainbow to lend a helping hoof. After all, Derpy always needed help with something.
Quick as a flash, she blasted through the sky to the path where the mailmare was trotting along. As she got closer, Rainbow noticed that Derpy was intently focused on a small, yellowish object just in front of her. It was incredibly flat, and not much bigger than a book. After staring at it for a moment, Derpy would lift back on her hind legs, spreading her wings wide open, before flapping them quickly with one large gust. The strange object was caught in the burst, blowing forward only a few inches before it settled back down again. With a smile, Derpy took a tiny step forward and repeated the process again.
Rainbow hovered above her, just watching the strange motion for a few repetitions before curiosity finally got the best of her. "Hey Derpy," she said. "What are you doing?"
Derpy, although surprised, seemed completely unfazed by the intruder. She glanced up and shot Rainbow a bright smile. "Oh, hi Rainbow Dash!" she said warmly with her regular slurred speech. "I'm just delivering this envelope to Princess Twilight."
"Okay…" Rainbow said hesitantly as Derpy once again reared up and flapped her wings forward. This time the envelope traveled nearly a full foot before stopping. "I was actually referring to why you're doing that," Rainbow said as Derpy dropped down to all fours again. "Why are you standing up and flapping your wings like that?"
Derpy laughed. "Silly Rainbow. If I just used my breath, it would take me forever to get it there."
Rainbow Dash blinked. She opened her mouth to say something, but the words died before they could come out. As Derpy repeated the process once again, she still couldn't find anything to say. It was only after the envelope stopped again, this time having somehow managed to move backwards a bit, did she manage to muster a single, "Huh?"
"Well," Derpy said, stopping to catch her breath, "I tried a couple other things, but this seemed like it was the best way to push the envelope."
Rainbow groaned, smacking her hoof against her forehead. Clearly, Derpy was needed her help even more than she thought. Without another word, she reached down and picked the envelope up in her teeth.
"W—wait!" Derpy cried out quickly. "You can't do that! I need to—"
"You need to deliver this to Twilight's house, right?" Rainbow Dash said between the paper. Without another word, she launched into the sky, leaving a prismatic trail behind her and sending the nearby windwills spinning widly. She was only gone for a moment before she returned back in a similar manner, an extremely smug look on her face. "There you go. Problem solved."
Derpy was speechless. "But… But…" she stammered.
"Yes, I know. That was amazing," Rainbow answered chuckling proudly and waving Derpy off. "Next time you need something delivered, just leave it to me. I'll get it done for you."
"But you weren't supposed to—"
"Yes, I know that I didn't have to," Rainbow gloated. "But that's just what makes me so awesome. Feel free to thank me at any time."
"Well, thanks I guess. But I wasn't supposed to—"
"Don't mention it," Rainbow quickly interrupted again. "I'm always happy to help those in need. Now if you'll excuse me, it's getting late and I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow. Talk to you later Derpy." And with that, she took off, not noticing the worry in the mailmare's eyes as she quickly departed for home.
~~~
The sun was high in the sky by the time that Rainbow Dash finally made it to the Ponyville Marketplace. While it wasn't that unusual for her to arise late, today she was particularly tardy in her arrival. She had, of course, woken up bright and early at the start of day, but looking out her window and seeing that the skies were still pristinely clear after her gallant efforts yesterday, that she decided to give herself some well-deserved extra sleep and climbed back into bed. She probably would have remained there all day if she'd had her way, but unfortunately she still had to eat at some point.
Landing gracefully in the center of town, she took a quick bearing of her surroundings. The goal was to get in and get out as quickly as possible, none of this all-day shopping that some of her friends seemed to enjoy so much. The sooner she was done, the sooner she could eat and get back to her extended nap for the day.
However, as she trotted through the marketplace, she noticed something a little bit odd. Ponies were actually paying attention to her for once. It was subtle at first, and she almost missed it, but ponies were sneaking glances at her; staring when they thought that she couldn't see them. Most would quickly turn away when she stared back, but she still managed to catch a couple of them once or twice.
At first, she felt a bit proud of this fact. Could it be that word of her heroics was spreading and ponies were finally paying attention? And yet, she couldn't help but feel something off about it. The ponies that were staring at her didn't seem to be staring in awe. Bewilderment, would have been a better word to describe it, had she actually known what that word meant. Occasionally, she'd hear somepony chuckle, only to have them suddenly stop once she turned to look in their direction. A few ponies were even smirking at her, and she swore she saw a couple of them pointing.
She was paying so much attention to this, and so little to what was in front of her, that she didn't notice Rarity approaching around the corner until the two of them collided, knocking each other to the ground.
"Oh dear me," Rarity said as she quickly scrambled to her hooves, eager to brush the dust away. "Watch where you're going darling, you could really hurt somepony by—"
She came to a sudden stop, her eyes growing wide as she looked over Rainbow Dash. Breathlessly she mouthed a soundless, "Oh my".
That was enough for Rainbow Dash. "What's the big deal?!?" she practically shouted. "Everypony's been acting really weird today, and now you're doing it too! What's going on around here?"
Rarity shook her head as if coming out of a daze. "Surely you must know?" she said, unable to hold back a laugh as she did so. "I mean, you don't pull a stunt like this, without at least knowing that it would draw unwanted attention."
Rainbow huffed. "I have no idea what you're talking about Rarity. What sort of stunt?"
Rarity's eyes grew even wider. "You mean…" she trailed off as she came to realization. "Tell me Rainbow, did you happen to look in a mirror this morning perhaps?"
"No," Rainbow scoffed. "You know I don't go for that whole 'prettying up' thing. I just fly through a raincloud and let the wind take care of the rest."
"I see," Rarity responded. Not taking her eyes off Rainbow, she began to fish around in her saddlebags. "I really think that you should darling," she said, pulling out a small glass mirror and handing it over.
"I don't see what's the big deal," Rainbow sighed as she took the mirror. "I mean it's not like I'm—" Her voice suddenly caught and she had to stop herself from dropping the mirror after just one glace at herself. Every inch of her fur was covered in several large, yellow stars. They were speckled about like some sort of strange disease. Even her mane wasn't spared, the glaring pointed spots clashing with her natural stripes.
"But I… I…" she stammered feeling extremely faint all of a sudden. "How could this have happened?!?"
Before Rarity could respond, a new voice chimed in. "Perhaps if you had actually tried listening for once, this wouldn't have happened."
Rainbow turned quickly towards the newcomer. Trotting over to her was a very smug looking Twilight Sparkle, chuckling lightly to herself as she came closer. "Well, I must admit I was starting to get a bit worried about you," she said with a sigh of relief. "But, it looks like you actually came off better than I expected."
"Better than you expected?" Rainbow cried out. "What do you mean better than you expected?!? I look like an idiot!"
"Yes you kind of do," Twilight admitted. "But you should be glad that it's not worse. Who knows what the Poison Joke could have done to you?"
Rainbow froze. "P…poison joke?"
Twilight nodded. "That package that you helped Derpy with yesterday? It was full of Poison Joke. I was supposed to go and pick it up from Zecora earlier, but I got swamped with other tasks. I asked Derpy if she could go and grab it for me instead. I thought it would be a simple delivery. It turns though, that Zecora told her not touch the package since it still had traces of the plant on the outside. She probably should have come back and told me, but eager to help, Derpy decided to try to transport the package anyways."
"What?" Rainbow said angrily. "Why didn't she warn me that it was so dangerous?"
Twilight smirked. "According to her, she tried to, but you just wouldn't listen to her. Isn't that true?"
"What? Of course not!" Rainbow answered defensively. "She never said anything."
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
Rainbow thought back to the encounter. "Well," she sighed, "I suppose she did start to say something, but if it was really that important she should have spoken up. I was just trying to help!"
"Were you really?" Twilight asked. "Or were you just doing this as a way to try and make yourself look good and wouldn't take no for an answer?"
Rainbow sighed. "Yeah… I suppose you're right. I probably should have listened to her in the first place and not tried to play the hero."
Twilight smiled. "Playing the hero is fine Rainbow Dash, but you should do it because you want to help ponies and not just yourself."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Rainbow chuckled. "I get it. No more gloating. Now could you please help me out here?"
"Sure thing Rainbow," Twilight answered. "I've alright contacted the spa. They should have the treatment already for you by now." She paused, raising her hoof to her mouth to stifle a giggle. "You can thank your lucky stars for that."
Author's Note
First place winner of the Everfree Northwest 2014 Iron Author Competition. The competition required us to write a story in two hours, with a soft limit of 2000 words. We also had to include three of the following four ideas while completely excluding one.
- Marketplace
- Manticore
- Pushing the Envelope
- Stars and Stripes
You can find more information and all the entries (including the unedited version of this story) here.
