The Saga of RK Act 1.

I stood next to Rainbow Dash in a big red barn. The whole building smelled of hay and wood, a pleasing aroma that brought back memories of visiting my uncle as a small boy. He lived out on a small farm with his wife and two daughters, and always took me out into the forest to show me how to "live off the land", as he called it, as my father was always working and never really had time to teach me the things my uncle taught me. I noticed a rack of tools used for agriculture: hoes, a wood chopping ax, a pitch fork, even a sledge hammer and pick ax. I was marveling at the armament as an orange earth pony with a ten-gallon hat and blonde hair, tied up to keep it out of the way, strolled into the barn.

"Howdy, Rainbow Dash! Howdy, RK!" Applejack shouted in an adorable western accent. Wait, she already knew my name?

"Hey, Applejack, hows it going?" Rainbow Dash clomped her hoof into Applejack's, a kind of high-five but with hooves.

"Oh, it's mighty fine, been buckin' the orchard all gal-dern  day, been lookin' forward to meetin' this RK feller." Applejack elbowed me, with surprising force.

"Wait a second, how do you know my name?" I asked with a bit of worry. Had I been spotted? Does the town know who I am?

"My little sister, Applebloom, told me all about y'all, said y'all was mighty rude..." She looked me up and down, distaste over-taking her friendly, nice-to-meet-you attitude. I was worried. I tried to remember to a time when I was mean. I then remembered the slumber party... and the yellow filly... and that she spoke with a country accent too... "Nah, I'm just pullin' y'alls leg, name's Applejack, pleasure to meet y'all." She pulled down my hand and shook it very aggressively.

"So, Applejack, remember those monsters from the East?" Dash questioned her. Applejack gasped.

"Y'all mean them feeders?" Applejack then got an angry look on her face. "Ooo! How could I forget them! After they done massacred Betty, right in front of her child! Poor little guy still has nightmares." Applejack took off her hat and placed it against her chest in remembrance. She then shook out of her funk. "What in tarnation are y'all doin' with a feeder?" She said with fear.

"*clears throat* Me and RK are planning on finishing off the nasty little things, but we don't have any weapons. So, we were wondering if-"

"You could use mah tools?" Applejack said, with a cocked eyebrow and obvious discontent.

"Er... well, yeah." Dash said, sweat forming on her brow, a nervous smile on her face.

"Ugh... I guess so, but y'all gotta clean 'em after y'all use 'em." Applejack rolled her eyes. "Well, wait, what about protection? Them monsters leak nasty goo that'll kill ya! Not to mention their sharp teeth." Applejack said, worriedly.

"Don't worry, Twilight's got that under control, even getting me cool wing blades!" Dash said, showing off her wings and the fact that one wing is about two feet long, with a combined wingspan of four feet.

'So... RK! If yer gonna kill yerself a feeder, you gotta pick a weapon and get to know it." Applejack pulled the pitchfork off the rack, holding it in her mouth. "Dis her berrty ifs ah pitferk! On eh ferm, ifs ushed teh merv lerg tings er heey." She placed it on the ground. "But, y'all can surely find a more offensive use for her." Applejack grinned. I picked it up and got a feel for it. "Now, this is more of ah stabbing tool, used to stab into bales of hay an' tossin' em over yer shoulder." I stabbed into the air above and bellow me, feeling the weight of the iron prongs drive into the ground and into the air. Applejack then pulled down the ax. "Nehw, dis ifs ushed teh chep dewn treehs." She placed the ax on the ground. "Probably more suited fer fightin' with." I swung the ax in a safe place, getting used to swinging it. "Now, Lyra did tell me that ya might need somethin' called a shield. Now, I decided that a round thing would prove pretty good, but y'all oughta use it." Applejack beckoned us outside, where the rest of training would begin.

I held up the shield, which was just a wheel with boards of wood nailed to the front of it.

"Now, I'm gonna buck the shield to test yer arm, see if y'all need some trainin' or not." Applejack warned me. Dash watched from the air, waiting."Okay, on the count of three." I steadied my arm. "One," I leaned into the shield. "Two," I braced myself. "THREE!" Applejack kicked the shield with massive force, knocking my shield out of defensive position, but little else.

"Whoa, I thought that would surely knock you down!" Dash shouted from the air. I was surprised too! I wasn't a shrimp, but I also wasn't a body-builder! Applejack looked back, surprise painted across her face.

"Well, I'll be! I didn't think y'all was gonna make that!" Applejack said, patting me on the back.

"Yeah, yeah, he did good against force," Dash landed. "But lets see if he can handle speed!" I looked a Applejack, questioningly, which was responded with a simple shrug. "C'mon, lets try hoof-to-hand combat! Take me down as fast as you can! But be warned, I'll try to do the same." I dropped the shield and held my hands up. Dash and I began circling, waiting for one another to make the first move and studying each others patterns. Then, unexpectedly, Dash charged at me, going for my legs. In a split-second, I jumped out of the way and then held her down as she crashed to the ground.

Ooo, RK! So rough!

'Shut UP!'

"Nng, beginners luck!" Dash stood up, shaking the dust off. "Okay, lets try again!" We continued our tradition of circling around one another, waiting. Finally, Dash made the first move, this time leaping. I leaped at her at the same time, landing on top of her. For a single moment, we stared into each others eyes, simply staring.

Blegh, this is starting to get sappy.

'Anger, now is not the time to butt in, now SHUT UP!' Dash quickly shook her head.

"Uh... that was a good one!" Dash blushed and looked away.

"Uh..." I stood, my hand still planted firmly on her chest. "Yeah, da-I-uh, yeah..." I let go of her chest, helping her up. Applejack stared, wide-eyed at us, then she got this devious look on her face. Me and Dash looked angrily at her.

"What?!" We shouted in sync.

"Oh, nothin'" Applejack made her mouth get scrunched up and she looked away from us, obviously lying. We scowled at her. We all heard a loud clanking sound as Twilight trotted up the hill to the barn.

"Hey, girls, I got the armor for Dash." Twilight commented, placing it neatly on the ground. "RK, I got the machinist working on your armor. You so owe me one after this." Twilight said, joking hostility in her voice.

"I'll try my best. Now, when will it be finished?" I asked.

"About..." Twilight pulled out the list. "Four days. Until then, I'd suggest you train, get better at moving around quickly and using your weapon." Twilight offered. I nodded.

"Thank you, Twilight, I only hope I can repay you soon." I said, sincerely. "Now, then," I said, clapping my hands together. "If you need me, I'll be practicing re-enacting the Spartan tactics with a plank shield and a pitchfork." I proclaimed to the small group as I picked up my tools and walked off behind the barn to practice.

Ooo, RK. Things were getting steamy between you and our little pony for a second there...

'I swear to god I will get rid of you one way or another if you don't shut up.'