Chapter 1 Where the buck am I?
Chapter 1: Where the Buck am I?
It’s been an eventful last week or so. I celebrated my Nan’s 3 year anniversary, passed my driver theory test, submitted all the paperwork to get my learner’s permit and I was getting ready for bed on a warm, calm Friday evening. I say was because as I pulled my wallet out of my pocket and set it on my desk, a bright flash surrounded me and I felt myself hurtling through the air for a second. My brief flight was so rudely interrupted by a rather large and sturdy apple tree. I connected shoulder first with a resounding thunk and a sickening pop sounding out.
I lay there, dazed and confused, for about a full minute before the pain washed over me. I could tell something was very wrong even by lying there on my back, I could feel my arm was just “wrong”. I used my right arm to force my body into a sitting position. I opened my eyes, then I immediately clenched them tightly shut again. Note to self: Do not open eyes for at least a couple minutes. I felt from my left elbow to my shoulder with my other hand, trying to figure out just what was wrong. When I got to my shoulder I figured it out, which looking back was fairly glaringly obvious. I had dislocated my shoulder joint and my left arm was difficult to move. I thought for a second and remembered a way to relocate your own shoulder. I drew my left knee up, brought my right arm around and joined my two hands together across my knee. I leaned back, slowly but surely straightening my arms and let my arm move. I forgot however that this method takes 10+ minutes to fully complete and I rushed it badly. And I figured out something. When they say that it takes 10 minutes to do, make sure you listen, because if not you may end up making it hurt a lot worse than it should.
In any case, a couple of minutes later when I was able to see straight again, or see at all remembering how bright it was here, I looked around. I was in some kind of orchard or something, apple trees grew in rows around me, and there was a clear, bright blue sky above and the sun was shining from about the two O’clock position,
“Uhh bucking hell” I groaned. Wait what!? Did I just say bucking instead of bucking? No bucking. Oh bucking Tartarus I can’t swear here for whatever reason. Well I was in a new place, in loads of pain (stupid trees), and I can’t swear anymore. Well buck it, let’s go exploring.
I stood up slowly, my legs shaking slightly underneath me. I started walking slowly down one of the rows of trees. Five minutes later I decided that maybe I should check myself out first, see how badly my “landing” hurt me.
I was still in my clothes, for which I was grateful. I had on a plain white V-necked t-shirt, a pair of dark jeans, and my converse. My glasses hung in the v of my shirt. I was still my normal 6’ nothing height, I was still my slightly overweight self and aside from a couple of scratches on my arm from hitting the tree presumably, I seemed relatively unscathed. Well as unscathed as one could be after dislocating an arm. I checked my pockets and found my phone, somehow without any further scratches, cracks or damage, and my keys, undamaged though they are probably thoroughly useless right now. Oh and I was tired, long day and just as I go to bed I am suddenly in some new world, in the middle of the day. Ugh I am not in the mood for any of this right now.
Well that was exciting, I should probably continue on now. I don’t recall having eaten for a while and I would like to find whoever owns this place before taking any of the apples.
A few more minutes later and I found a dirt road leading across between the rows of trees. I looked both directions but I was in a bit of a dip in the road and couldn’t see much either way. I decided left was my best bet, don’t even ask me why. So I skipped along, just kidding I was wrecked so I was trudging along more than anything.
I suppose now would be a good time to say a bit about myself. I’m a guy. My name is Christopher, I am 18 years old, I’m Irish born and reared. As I said earlier I am 6’ tall. I have played rugby for the past 10-11 years, and I have the strength to go along with the sport. I am a bit overweight, pushing 95 kilos (that’s just under 15 stone).
I’m fairly shy, nervous around new people or in new situations. I’d say I’m nice enough, fairly generous, often to a bit of a fault, helpful when I have the guts to actually say something to offer a hand. I have anger issues, I am well aware of that. I have dark brown hair and blue eyes. I was raised in north Dublin so I have a bit of a Dublin accent, I speak English, some Irish and a small amount of French. I am fairly smart, I know a fair bit on most subjects, but I wouldn’t be an expert on anything.
Well that little bit of exposition took us as far as a gate. White fencing stretched along the rows of trees in either direction, dips and crests forming in the landscape. On the other side of the fence the road stretched onwards following the slope of the landscape until it finally crested over a hill and disappeared from my line of sight. Well that won’t be where the orchard owners are so it looks like I’m heading the other direction now. Greeaaatt!
Well I’m not even bothered thinking for the rest of this walk.
Chapter 2: Oh that's where... Okay then
Chapter 2: Oh that's where... Okay then.
Five minutes into my walk back through the orchard I encountered two "people" ... I suppose. They looked kinda weird. For starters they had fur covering their entire bodies, they had normal looking hair with matching tails. they had normal hands but instead of feet they had hooves. Oh and one of them had wings sprouting from their back, and a horn protruding from their forehead. Their mouths and noses protruded out slightly almost like a dog or horses, though not nearly as much They both looked female, the taller of the two looked to be around 5'5"-5'6" and her friend looked maybe a couple inches shorter.
The taller one had fur that was a purple colour and her hair was straight down to about her mid back. It was a dark blue with a pink and a purple streak running through it. She had a medium build, slim, with a light muscle tone showing in her arms and calves. She was wearing a white button up shirt with a black knee-length skirt and a pair of black shoes. She had a large pair of bright purple eyes, her mouth seemed to be slightly turned up in a natural smile.
'She's kinda cute for some alien" I thought.
Her friend... was there a second ago. Where could she have gone?
I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned towards the feeling. I was greeted by the brightest, cheeriest, most frighteningly large pair of eyes I have ever seen. The missing pony had apparently teleported or something right beside me and was now staring at me with the widest, friendliest smile I am convinced has ever come into being on the face of anything. She seemed to be expecting something from me.
"U-uhh. H-hi?" I stuttered out eventually. Which seemed to be exactly what she was waiting for. She leaned back away from me and stuck her hand out for a hand shake. I took her hand and proceeded to regret that decision as she started to vigorously shake my hand to the point that I was certain it would come off and then suddenly released me and started bouncing around me talking a mile a minute
"Hi.MynameisPinkiePie.Areyounew?YoumustbenewbecauseIknoweveryoneinponyvilleandIdon'tknowyousoyoumustbenewhere.Whyareyousotall?Whereisyourfur?Whyisyourmanesoshort?Whereareyoufrom?Willyoubemyfriend?"
'I-I-I'm sorry? Could you repeat that a little slower. Maybe take half a breath between your sentences?' Was what I was tempted to say. At least it seemed to be speaking English or a similar language.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't understand what you just said. Could you repeat that please?" was what I actually said.
She took a deep breath and looked ready to begin again when a purple aura picked her up and carried her over to the purple one. With her not practically on top of me I was able to get a proper look at her. She had bright pink fur covering her body and a darker pink extremely curly hair and tail. Her eyes were insanely large, a bright blue colour, and her face seemed locked in an overly cheery, mildly disturbing smile. She didn't have any type of wings or horn yet she seemed even stranger than her friend. Like somehow physics just gave up around her. She was wearing a fairly simple outfit, consisting of a Pink t-shirt with three balloons on the front and a loose pink skirt that looked like it would bounce around behind her the second she moved
"Pinkie. You've been told before. Introducing yourself like that just confuses ponies. Now while you calm down I'll show you again how you should do it." With that last word she turned from her friend stepped towards me and began. "Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle and my friend here is Pinkie Pie. It's a pleasure to meet you mister..."
She stopped at that and seemed to be waiting for something from me. I realized she was looking for my name and I started to reply
"My name is Christopher-" I began but was interrupted by a blur of Pink sweeping me up in a hug and crushing me.
"Hi Christopher. My name is Pinkie Pie. I've never had a friend like you before. Will you be my friend?" Her voice came again, slower this time and understandable, barely, and their meaning was clear. however before I could respond a bright flash of purple light encircled me and I found myself standing next to the purple one, Twilight Sparkle, with her horn glowing in the same aura that used to be holding the pink one.
"Pinkie again we've been through this. Not everyone is that comfortable with physical contact like that. And no new people are ever ready to deal with your full level of crazy." Twilight spoke to her friend again, "Now, Christopher is it?" I nodded "As I said it's a pleasure to meet you. Welcome to Ponyville"
