The CMC do bad things

by Flashburn37

Rating: teen
Tags: Silver Spoon, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Cheerilee, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 2443

A dark comedy about the CMC discovering an ancient tome of Necromantic proportions!

AppleBloom has found a book, and other things, hidden in Twilight's library house... thing. But all is not well when she touches it, as slowly or quickly (perspective matters) the CMC lose their minds to dark powers. Oh and Hilarity ensues.
Oh and... Cherilee has a drunken rant so get ready for some hard reading. What? They're hard to understand while talking! Why not while reading!?

Oh and Ahuizotl does stuff too! Kind of...

I also refuse to use Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon's actual names. Deal with it.

Published 2014-07-10 09:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-10 09:50:06 UTC

The CMC really are doing bad things

It was a dark day in Sweetie Belle's heart, bright and sunny outside, but inside... dark. Twilight glared down at them scolding them, it had began when Applebloom had discovered a dark tome hidden in the Golden Oak Library earlier and had a bad idea. A very bad idea. Sweetie remembered their conversation with dread...

Applebloom had been so excited that day, when she brought the book to her friends. Sweetie recalled it as a Thursday... Nothing bad had ever happened on a Thursday. So far...

"Look girls! I found this book in a hidden compartment under Twilight's bed! There were also a lot of pictures of Big Mac down there... I don't know why..." Applebloom looked puzzled.

It started to get awkward as Applebloom slowly put the pieces together. "Wait a sec... does Twili-"

"Moving on!" Scootaloo interrupted, "What's the book?"

Pulled from her reverie and eventual moral outrage Applebloom threw a sinister looking black book onto the table. The cover seemed to move under close examination. Sweetie skimmed the title,

"Um... Applebloom? That's a book of necromantic spells..."

"Eeeyup!" Applebloom smiled.

"Sounds cool!" Scootaloo leaned in a dark glimmer in her eyes as she touched the book. In hindsight Sweetie should have noticed.

Sweetie looked around, "But Necromancy is illegal and we're at school!" She whispered in a state of panic.

"See that cider I gave Miss Cherilee?" They nodded, "We won't have to worry, she's a light weight."

Scootaloo's eyebrow went up, "You not only brought alcoholic cider to school, but you gave it to the teacher!? While bringing a book about Necromancy!?"

"Yep, you two are a tad bit slow today aren't you?" Her green eyes seemed to glow with excitement. Looking back Sweetie should have noticed something here too.

"Look," Sweetie Belle began, "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean what if it works? Do you really want a necromantic symbol as your Cutie Mark?"

"Maybe a necromantic apple..." Applebloom sighed, "I guess you're right. It was a dumb idea anyway."

At this point and time Diamonde Tiaaaaaaaaaaaaaara and Henchmare Silverster Spoon. Trotted up menacingly and began their bullying routine.

"Oh hi it's Blankus Flankus and the crew of retards!" Diamonde insulted them then turned to the camera and said, "I mean it in the literal way as in "to slow", I'm okay with the mentally handicapped."

"Your time with Pinkie has given you so much control over the fourth wall Tara!" Silly vester complemented her.

"Yeah but not grammar, you used retards as a noun, but claimed to use it as a verb! You've done nothing but be an insulting reflection of an archaic education system!" Sweetie scolded them.

"What are you a dictionary?" Diamonde countered.

"That's my comeback!" Scootaloo cried.

Diamonde Tara and Silvester Staspoonlone were about to retort when a wild Cherilee appeared.

"Why hello Miss Che-" The two hecklers began together before she interrupted them.

"Now lishen here Mishy!" The teacher slurred. "You are both terrible at everthin'! At leashted they try, even tho they shuck at everthin' worsh!"

"Um thank you?" Scootlaoo accepted the... compliment?

"Yer very mush welcome!" Cherilee continued, "She! They thank me fer mah rude compleemensh! I me sherioshree! You, you firsht Dia Tara! Whast yer talent? Minesh helpin' shtundent bloom, like Apple Essence over there! Yer talenst is what? Metals werkin'? NAH then ye'd be urse... urse... ursefel! And you! Her butt buddy! Yesh I sheen yer dance! Whatsh yersh!? More metals werkin'!? Or eatin' ice cream while ye cry about how without her yer nothin'! Thash it! AHM DONE! You're detensheon!"

At this point Sweetie, Scoots, and Applebloom had already snuck out of the school yard. Somehow though, only Sweetie was smiling as she laughed,

"Applebloom! You need to do that more often!" She looked at the two frowns. "What?"

"That's it! I'm fed up with those two!" Applebloom huffed. "I almost want a Necromantic Apple Mark! Just to scare them! Besides... maybe my name is actually... Apple....Gloom..." Her eyes seemed alive with energy and purpose.

"They stole my comeback!" Scootaloo yelled. "Let's do it." She whispered her emerald eye's agleam. In retrospect Sweetie should have paid more attention.

AppleGloom flipped open the book and the pages almost seemed to turn themselves, "Look a spell that requires a pony of each of the three races!"

"Are you sure?" Sweetie became more and more nervous.

"Yes!" The other two spat in frustration.

***

They spent hours memorizing the spell, at Sweetie's request before finally heading home. She had convinced them to leave the book with her under the guise of, "I'm, the unicorn so I'll need more practice." Her real reasons were far more... driven by terror. She wrapped the book in dark cloth and pinned a note explaining that the contents needed to be read, but not touched. She remembered hearing her sister mentioning a pet play date so she knew Twilight would be out still. Sneaking up to the front door she slipped the package through the mail slot before scampering off.

***

Twilight yawned as she entered her dark home after the pet play date. Spike was already asleep when she opened the door. She screamed as she slipped over something in the hallway striking her head on a counter.

"Sweet Celestia that smarts!" The purple one cursed. "What did I trip over?" Using the light provided by her horn she saw a lump of black cloth and a note that read,

"Please for the love of Celestia read this book! But do not touch it! Or read it out loud! Danger may soon be infringing on the peaceful lives of Ponyville citizens and you need to be prepared! I don't think that they are themselves but I can't stop them! I don't know if I will be myself when we are done..."

"Uh huh..." Twilight didn't recognize the hoof writing, but unless Rainbow or Pinkie really worked hard on improving theirs it was not likely a prank. She unfolded the cloth and quickly realized why it was not to be touched.

It was dripping with dark magic and a quick identification spell showed much was major mind altering, activated by touch or casting.

"Owlowiscious, we are in for a long night..."

"Who?"

"Us." She laughed as she pulled as many books about mind altering and countering necromancy she could find.

Hours later she finally felt prepared for any of the spells in the book, but was exhausted beyond belief. She was so tired she almost thought she saw Ahuizotl holding Gummy outside her window! She slowly trotted to her bed and fell into the covers, asleep immediately.

***

AppleBloom watched in horror as AppleGloom rose out of bed and took the black cloak she and the others had pilfered from the Carousel Boutique and crept out the front door. She saw a strange blue hand on the trellis but AppleGloom seemed not to notice or care as she murmured,

"Cutie Mark Crusaders Grave Robbers..."

She saw her Comrades in sin at the gates of her home, similarly dressed and wielding instruments of unearthing.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders Necromancers!" Scootaloo joyously proclaimed.

"I don't know girls... are you sure this is a good idea?" Sweetie asked.

"Ah course it is! We've tried everythin' under the sun to get our cutie marks... maybe it's time we branched out and tried somthin' new!" AppleGloom assured her as they made their way to the companion burial ground.

It was a short but silent walk for the five of them, upon arrival they began assigning tasks.

"AppleGloom, you start digging with DeathBelles while I stand watch." Scootaloo commanded.

"Stop calling me that Scootaloo!" Sweetie complained.

"I have told thee time and time again that I am Scootaldoom!" Scootaldoom yelled.

"Thee?" Sweetie mumbled as they began to dig up an old grave for a dog whose name has been erased by the winds of time.

Hours later it neared morning and they had quite the pile of bodies. "We have enough!" AppleDoom proclaimed, "Now we must cast the spell, before we lose the cover Luna so kindly provides!"

"We don't have to do this... we could back out..." Sweetie offered.

"Begin the ceremony!" Scootaldoom screeched.

"Halusin vain käyttää vanha maali!" They chanted, "Halusin vain käyttää vanha maali! Halusin vain käyttää vanha maali! Halusin vain käyttää vanha maali!"

They continued this dark incantation as the bones rose.

***

Sweetie Belle felt dark magic coursing through her filling her with power and hate... Silvester Spoonloon and Didi Tier would pay! She heard herself cackling madly. She tried to move her hoof but could not... DeathBelle was in control... Hovering inches off the ground she raised hooves of dark energy. She floated towards Ponyville. AppleGloom rode a skeletal hound to her left and ScootalDoom was held aloft by a giant spider which clung to her back on the right. All of them laughed madly as they led their undead horde with sheer glee. Sweetie Belle saw through her failing vision a purplish grey mare staring with wide eyes walking slowly to warn Ponyville.

***

It was an average morning for Pinkie, only this time she woke up before the Cakes, so she had some free time before morning bakery duties ensued. She couldn't find Gummy and got a little worried, but was quickly distracted by seeing snow out her window. She giggled when she saw it falling from Rainbow's house.

"Someone forgot to close the refrigerator... I'll go up and remind her!" She opened her closet only to find that her flycycle was missing! "Gummy then my flycycle..." Pinkie pondered... "Maybe Gummy wanted to see Tank and they had a late night snack!" She jumped outside and rushed over to taste some of the snow... it was minty... Suddenly she had a hankering for rock candy, which could only mean one thing!

"Maud's here!" She zoomed towards wherever her Pinkie Sense dragged her. She saw her sister on the edge of town and screamed, "Hi MAUD!!!!"

"Pinkie. No. Run." Maud called out warning right before Pinkie saw a grotesque army crest a hill.

Pinkie pulled out her combat party canon, "Welcome to Ponyville..." She said before screaming.

***

Rainbow shivered and pulled her cloud covers over her and fell back asleep, or at least she would if she hadn't heard Pinkie yelling. Normally she'd just go back to sleep but then a terrified scream erupted from Ponyville. She bolted awake and ran towards the window. Before her eyes was an army of dead animals! She ran towards the door but slipped on something. She looked at her hoof and saw... tooth paste? She shook her head and got up slowly before realizing why it was so cold. Upon closing her fridge she went to get her saddlebags on, she had a bowling ball in there left over from the tourney and it would come in handy.

Or so she thought. Upon brushing her Wonderbolts costume she had Rarity make for next Halloween she received a sharp shock which sent her reeling down the hall, where she tripped over a broken cloud vase and into her Daring Room.

"Wha... What!?" She screamed upon seeing it completely empty. Grabbing a bat she flew down, more than angry enough to crack some skulls.

***

Twilight awoke to the sounds of screams, shattering glass, and collapsing buildings. Bolting up immediately she flew out of the window and saw what she had feared. The strongest spell in that evil book required three different types of ponies but summoned an army worthy or Maredoor. She jumped down and rallied the Ponies around her.

"Get behind me!" Twilight yelled as countless ponies fled. Rarity ran past in panic away from a goldfish that screeched,

"Rarrrrrity.... Why didn't you feed me Rarrrrrrity?"

"I'm sorry! I went on vacation and forgot to drop you off at Fluttershy's!" She screamed back.

Twilight blasted back corpses with her lasers before screaming, "Has anypony seen three ponies radiating with dark magic!?"

Rarity only pointed around the corner and Twilight blasted her way towards it, she saw three forms in black cloaks, one hovering and holding spheres of black energy, one rode a stead of bones and one was carried by an arachnid of incredible size.

Twilight saw Rainbow flying nearby bashing the undead back, Applejack used a pitchfork to fling them off her applecart and Pinkie jumped out with her Festive Gathering Artillery.

"Rainbow! Pinkie! Rarity! AJ! Cover me! I need to concentrate to break the enchantment placed on those ponies!"

The floating figure shifted its gaze unto Twilight, "Run!" A voice struggled to be heard from within the cloak. Twilight charged up her magic and began tearing down the mind altering effects. The figure held up their hoof and shot a blast of hatred. Pinkie jumped out and threw a cake that intercepted the blast showering those nearby with undead pastry, dealing 1d8+1 per caster lever to a maximum of 15 Unholy/Sugar damage per round for concentration+1d4 rounds Reflex half, applies only to initial damage.

"I think it's working!" Twilight screamed as a wave of energy flowed from her horn, all undead touched by it ceased and desisted until collapsing under the weight of a corporate ran fandom and the hoods were pushed back revealing those beneath.

In front of Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rainbowdash floated Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Applebloom, their eyes glowing bright green and trailing purple smoke. Tears falling from their cheeks as three ethereal beasts rose from within them and flew away towards the tree house and the book. Slowly they descended to the ground and fell over in exhaustion.

"Applebloom!" Applejack yelled in fear. "Please be alright!" She ran over to the fillies.

"Sweetie!" Rarity followed suit.

"Scoots!" Rainbow screamed last, but arrived first.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders groaned as they slowly rose, casting aside the dark cloaks and looking around.

"What happened?" Applebloom asked, "The last thing I remember was seeing a book in a secret compartment filled with photos of-"

Twilight intervened and scolded them, "You three found a secret compartment in the Library with an evil book in it! And then rather than telling me, you touched it and had your minds possessed!"

"We're sorry Twilight we just... wait what is that?" Sweetie turned and saw none other than Ahuizotl saunter into town drop a bag and walk off.

Author's Note

I'm sorry, but this is a sequel to Ahuizotl's 85.7% (in)voluntary pet daycare so without it Rainbow's scene is confusing.

Tell me how bad it was below in the form of comments.