When in doubt, shit

by TheBush

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sex, Gilda, Slice of Life
Length: 2415

Gilda needs to take a dump whilst still sore from the Ponyville incident. Why not both?

Gilda, fresh from her humiliation in Ponyville, seeks a way, any way, to exact revenge on her haters. When an unexpected 'bodily function' comes up, the perfect opportunity lays before her. (Contains scat and pissing griffon)

Published 2014-07-10 14:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-10 14:50:02 UTC

Chapter

Gilda flew at a brisk pace, her feathered crest blasting through the clouds above Ponyville. Fury burned in her eyes as she glared over the thatched houses. She would leave for her own kingdom tomorrow morning, the sheer ridicule of the imbecilic ponies below simply too aggravating for her to remain. Even her so-called best friend had deserted her, her years of time with the clearly retarded “Pinkie Pie” had seemed to have worn down her once decent personality. Gilda spent most of the journey formulating revenge plots, however, they were to no avail, with the meagre possessions she had brought for her stay inadequate for a counterattack.

She landed outside of the cloud hotel where she had been staying, cautiously looking around for any pony that could be in league with Rainbow Dash, before unlocking the soft door into her room. She finally allowed herself to relax, breathing deeply and calmly for the first time all day. Igniting the lighting around her as the sun dipped below the horizon, she felt a sharp pang inside her lower abdomen. She realised quickly that she had not used the toilet since she had left in the morning. The anger and stress of the day had blinded herself to it. She raced to the tiny bathroom, merely a dripping shower and a standing toilet. She had always hated the toilets used by modern ponies, the griffon kingdom simply using the older squat toilets. They had the bad reputation of crushing the muscular griffon tail against the cistern, compared to supporting the softer pony tail, merely keeping it out of the foul water. However, she had concocted a rather risky solution to this failure of design. She faced the cistern and carefully slid herself onto the recently cleaned device. Her fur covered vulva pointed straight down into the clear water, halting centimetres from the other edge of the seat. This method was only useful for relieving her bladder, with her anus placed directly on the seat in order to fit her vulva cleanly over the bowel. Exhaling slowly, she released her hold on her swollen bladder. A trickle of yellow tint fluid sprang from between her pink folds, dribbling down into the clear water, rapidly tainting it a dull lemon. Her tail swayed in a mesmerising fashion as she sighed in relief, her stream steadily increasing into a torrent of warm urine, frothing and bubbling as it struck the pool below. It soon slowed back to a simple dribble, brushing her pink clitoris as it fell from her buried urethra. She sighed once again, grabbling a square of toilet paper and drawing it slowly over her vulva towards her anus.

Standing up, she caught a whiff of her produce, its strong scent permeating deeply into her nostrils. The stench quickly overpowered her, so she pressed the polished silver handle used to flood the bowl with water. A gurgling sound erupted from the pipe works below, however, not a drop of water fell into the fermenting solution. Gilda quickly wrenched the top off of the white cistern, revealing some complex looking plumbing, however, with no water. It was as dry as Braeburn’s sex life.

Cold beads of sweat burst onto Gilda’s feathered forehead. It was sheer luck that she hadn’t needed to offload her bowels at the time, otherwise she would have a much larger problem on her claws. The night was in full swing and the hotel administration wouldn’t be open until the morning, so she would just have to stick with the odour for the night. She lay down on her bed, wings folding neatly along her well-built hips. It had been a shitty day, one that had taken its toll on her. Her mouth still ached from the spices and she had yet to stop the ringing in her ears from the electric shock. Still, the delicacies had been one of the better parts, and one of the few that hadn’t been tampered with. Gilda’s stomach grumbled in response to this thought, sending waves of pressure though her tract.

Gilda woke with a start, clutching her stomach as wave after wave of pain spread through her. A massive bubble of hot gas rocketed towards her anus, blasting out into a cloud of fetid air, bringing with it droplets of burning fecal matter. She clenched her dirtied anus hard before any damage could be done to her bed, the possible extra charge on the already poor griffon sending shivers up her spine. She had to get out. Racing to her bag, she rifled through its contents until she produced a small aged key. A spare for Rainbow Dash’s home, back from when they used to be roommates. It was the only place she could think of. It seemed that her revenge may be able to occur after all.

Gilda flew with all the strength she could muster, however making sure that she did not lose her burning load onto the buildings below. She had studied basic law in high school, one of her more personal passions, learning that public defecation, whilst permitted on the ground in Equestria, carried major penalties whilst airborne or on a cloud, due to injuries caused by falling balls of pony waste. She finally arrived at the small house, halting to compose her rumbling bowels. She unlocked the door and flicked the lights on, stumbling towards Rainbow’s bedroom. She realised her mistake, diving behind a cupboard before realising that the room was empty. Dash must have chosen to spend the night on the ground with all her “new” friends. Moving slowly so that she didn't arouse suspicion from the neighbours, Gilda reached the bathroom. Pushing on the door, almost bursting her load, she cracked open the room. Bad idea. Her nostrils burned with the fury of a thousand suns, the once simple perfume of horseapples tainted into a demonic monstrosity. Had Dash faced the same torture as she would face? She slammed the door shut, coughing and gagging at the sheer horror of it all. There was no way she could possibly offload her burning bowels in there and make it out conscious, yet there was no possible way to leave this house without dropping her mess. At that moment, a small burst of gas violently blew out of her pink and brown anus, seemingly singing the light brown fur ringing her sphincter. Gilda clenched hard, the burning pain of her gaseous expulsion coupled with the tsunami of nauseous pain in her gut forced her to her knees. She clutched at her belly, searching for a place to relieve herself- any place. Looking up, stars floating across her vision, she saw the place. The place to both exact her revenge and relieve her tortured bowels.

Gilda clambered onto the soft blankets of Rainbow Dash’s bed, claws digging into the soft blue cotton of her quilt. She stood tall, chest pointed outwards as her long, slender tail rose slowly into the air. The brown tuft of fur at the end swayed as it revealed her most personal treasures. Her vulva, merely a pink line surrounded by brown fur, pulsated as it prepared to jettison the small amount of warm liquid stored up inside. Her anus, its once rounded form flattened by the pent pressure behind it, seemed to spasm with anticipation to what Gilda was prepared to do. She breathed deeply, focusing on the heat and bloated sensation in her gut, and pushed. Her anus slowly crept open, revealing a light brown bolus, moving forward into a sloppy mush. It slid over the edge of her gaping hole to splatter down onto the clean sheets below. Small bubbles of potent gas were thoroughly mixed in with the matter, causing an audible pop whenever they were exposed to the cool external air. Lumps of the mud-like crap rained down from Gilda’s widened asshole, creating a pile in similar consistency to a fresh cow pat as they splattered together. Gilda recomposed herself, the fresh stench of the pile penetrating her senses. Pushing hard once again, she found that the once semi-solid nature of her waste had quickly come to an end. What could only be described as a dark brown fountain of odorous griffon waste poured from her anus, saturating the fur around her gentialia, reaching even to her small breasts as it splashed and splattered around her. She groaned and grunted as the hot liquid shot from her tortured tract, forcing her to reposition herself multiple times in order to prevent a slip into the fetid shit. Suddenly, the brown rain halted in its tracks. Gilda still felt a mass blocking her up, however no matter how hard she pushed, not a single piece of waste came from her depths. Flipping onto her back, making sure that she kept her distance from the waste pile, she carefully probed the cavity near her anus with her claw. She found the blockage, a slick, yet rough one. It was unyielding to her advances as she gripped it tightly. She pulled gently, forcing a stream of warm urine from within her. It splashed the feathers near her claw, tinting them a butter yellow and cutting through the stench of her scat with its own strong odour. The warm sensation was calming, however slightly off-putting at the same time. It was short lived, however, with Gilda quickly running out of the precious liquid.

The blockage was moving, albeit slowly. Gilda was forced to both push and pull in order to expel the hard matter from her rectum. The piece came from her stretched anus with an audible sucking sound, falling to the cotton sheet underneath, dragging a trickle of liquid shit from Gilda’s fatigued anus. She lay there, panting for Celestia knows how long.

She straightened herself slightly to get a look at what she had been forced to remove from herself. Covered in a coat of brown, with several lumps of semi-digested matter stuck to it, was a pink cupcake. Gilda nearly passed out from shock, how could a cupcake have made it through her with no visible damage? She tapped the object with her claw, confirming it to be plastic. Cautiously, carefully, she picked up the slimey faux pastry and sniffed it. Inside the cloud of horrendous, vomit-inducing crap, Gilda detected a specific scent she had not smelled for many years. A prescription fecal softener, one that Rainbow Dash used in her constipated college years. The smell of the foul liquid filled the house whenever Dash had to use the stuff, and the resulting lockup in the bathroom forced Gilda to evacuate herself in other areas. This treachery would not go unpunished, with Gilda already knowing what else to soil the sheets with.

Gilda grabbed the soft, overly-decorated pillow and ran her rump across its custom made surface. She used the softest blanket to clear the muck from her precious vagina, spending a longer length of time on her sensitive clitoris. She moved in a humping action over the cleaner parts of the bed, drying her sore anus and removing the worst of the mess from her breasts. Locating a black stallion-shaped dildo under the bed, she positioned her now clean rump directly over the flared tip. She lowered herself slowly, her warm pussy feathering the plastic tool, causing her to spew her juices excitedly over it, quickly forming a slick sheen. The hard schlong penetrated slowly into her warm depths, tickling her swollen clitoris as each individual bump passed into her ribbed tunnel. She craned her neck skyward as she was racked with the sheer pleasure of being penetrated by her once treasured dick. It had been so long. She began humping the dark dick, its many ridges tingling her sensitive vagina. She was positively dripping arousal onto the device, a dark red blush clearly standing out among her now matted facial feathers. She has humping more furiously now, a shadow puddle of griffon arousal forming at the base of the dildo. A hot pressure began to build in her loins, increasing in strength every time she pushed her heated sex onto the now warm dick. Falling onto her dampened back, she came, the pressure exploding into a clear stream of fluid, splashing out of her burning lips and landing square on the rapidly cooling pile of waste, adding a clear sheen to the puddle seeping into the mattress. The dildo slid effortlessly from her dripping vagina, lubricant leaking out of every nook possible. The orgasm was powerful enough, however Gilda was not yet satisfied. Having just offloaded her painful mass she knew that her prized toy wouldn’t suffer too much from some…rougher play…

She took aim at her stained anus, beads of fresh lubricant running towards its puckered form. The dildo smoothly ringed her hole, smearing a small amount of waste which had been forced out during her powerful orgasm. It pushed its way in easily, sending electric sensations up Gilda’s spine as it forced her muscular tunnel open to accommodate its girth. She slowly began pulsing the rod in and out of her tract, rubbing against spasming walls and stimulating areas throughout both her rectum and her vagina. The contractions around the foreign invader caused remnants of the earlier sloppy movement to migrate onto her tool. The lubrication of her still soaked vagina quickly ran out, causing the shit-covered dildo to become much harder and more painful to move. She gave up, withdrawing the soiled plastic rod from her now aching ass. The action caused her disturbed bowels to begin attempting to push any other matter out as well, resulting in a slow-moving minute puddle forming at the base of her tail. She finished her lewd act with a painful fart, spraying droplets of shit onto the wall she was facing the finale of her long and torturous business whist backing herself up against the wall, using its rough surface to re-clean her soiled rump.

Grabbing her key and her luxurious toy, she tore out the fuse as she left, plunging the house into complete darkness whilst she made her escape. It was in the nick of time too, when she peered back she noticed a blue Pegasus with a rainbow mane attempting to unlock the door.

Author's Note

Another one from discussions on mlpchan, this one may not be as good as beatin the heat, but it was mostly an effort to work out how a griffon would shit.