The Lunar Spartans

Slayer

Inside the New Lunar Republic’s headquarters

‘Crazy, but that’s how it goes. Millions of people, living as foes. Maybe, it’s not too late. To learn how to love. And forget how to hate.’ Jackson sang as he field stripped his assault rifle, singing along to a song only he could hear, occasionally moving his head in time with the beat. ‘Mental wounds not healing. Life’s a bitter shame. I’m goin’ off the rails on a crazy train! I’m goin’ off the rails on a crazy train!’

‘You’re already off.’ Dawson said from the other side of the room, his own assault rifle partially dismantled. ‘Hell, I doubt you were ever on the rails in the first place.’

‘Nope.’ Jackson said before resuming his singing. ‘I’ve listened to preachers, I’ve listened to fools. I’ve watched all the dropouts, who make their own rules. One person conditioned to rule and control. The media sells it, and you live the role.’

‘Why do you listen to such old stuff?’ Dawson asked as his squad mate began rocking out with an imaginary guitar.

‘Because you gotta respect the classics, man.’ Jackson said. ‘And, living here in Jersey, fighting villains from afar, you gotta find first gear in your giant robot car.’ He pointed at Dawson. ‘You dig giant robots.’ He pointed at himself. ‘I dig giant robots.’ He indicated them both. ‘We dig giant robots.’ At that moment, Luna entered the Spartan’s quarters and Jackson pointed his finger at her, too. ‘Chicks dig giant robots.’ He performed a quick solo on his ‘guitar’ before standing and kicking his stool over. ‘Nice.’

Luna opened her mouth to say something then closed it, before turning to Dawson. ‘And he’s your superior because?’

‘He has a better grasp on the tactical and strategic needs of battle than me.’ he said as Jackson righted his stool and sat down on it, singing another song to himself. ‘The fact he listens to old songs, randomly sings then, and has a tendency to say weird things doesn’t detract from that. It just serves to make people underestimate him.’ He began putting his assault rifle together. ‘That, and our plans for tackling the enemy are usually similar. They just go better with him at the helm.’

‘Pray tell, what plans do you usually come up with?’ Luna asked.

‘Simple ones.’ Jackson said. ‘The less in them, the better. Mostly they involve one thing or less.’

‘One thing or less?’ Luna said, rounding on Jackson. ‘How does that work?’

‘Brilliantly.’ He said. ‘With no steps to complete or achieve, there’s nothing that can go wrong. Ergo, no matter the outcome of the battle, the plan will always work.’

‘And when you have steps in your plans, what are they?’

‘Simple.’ Jackson said. ‘Kill everything that isn’t friendly.’

Luna grimaced as the Spartan assembled his rifle with unnerving precision.

‘So, you come to check up on Squealing Wombat or are you here with a new mission?’ Dawson asked, his rifle fully assembled.

‘A new mission.’ Luna said, bringing out a scroll which she passed to Jackson. ‘Intelligence suggests that a sizeable number of Solar Empire soldiers are heading to a nearby town that was abandoned some time ago to turn it into a new base. The location of this town means that if Celestia can occupy it, she can send troops to disrupt our supply lines with ease. You, and a team of forty, will stop them from doing that.’

Jackson picked up the scroll then threw it behind him, not even bothering to read the contents. ‘Consider it done.’

‘You’re not even going to look at the specifics?’ Luna said.

‘Nope.’ Jackson said. ‘You’ve given us all we need to know. Sunnies are coming to take over a town. We have to stop them. What more needs to be said?’

‘Usual plan, Commander?’ Dawson said as he stood and began stocking up on magazines and grenades.

‘Yup.’ Jackson said as he did the same. ‘Never let us down yet so why mess with success?’

They finished loading up and departed, leaving Luna alone in their quarters.

She let out a despondent groan and sagged to the floor. ‘I need a vacation.’

In the town of Hoofington

Hoofington was barely a kilometre squared, containing just a few house and some shops, all of them deserted and empty, their owners long since gone following the outbreak of war in Equestria.

Jackson had perched himself on top of the highest structure in town, a place from where he could spot any approaching enemy, while Dawson remained on the ground, directing the New Lunar Republic regulars into fighting positions.

They wore midnight black armour emblazoned with the symbol of the NLR, a stark contrast to the Solar Empire’s golden equipment, and carried with them spears and crossbows.

‘Well I’m a half-ton son of a gun with a suitcase full of pistols and money.’ Jackson sang softly to himself, watching for threats. ‘But come dawn, woman, I’m gone but tonight can be your lifetime, honey.’ He spotted a speck in the far distance, a column of dust that was growing with each passing second. ‘But God damn, girl. I’m your man, girl. I’ll get your engine singing!’

Below him, Dawson craned his neck upwards to shout at Jackson. ‘Hey, Commander! You see anything yet?’

‘This sounds good, let me under your hood and we can find out what I’m bringing!’ Jackson continued to sing, either not hearing Dawson or choosing to ignore him for the moment. ‘I’m one bad man. One bad man!’

He jumped down from the roof and landed next to Dawson. ‘Sunnies inbound. Everyone in place?’

‘Yeah, just waiting for the mother humpers to arrive.’ Dawson said. ‘You ready?’

‘Yup.’ Jackson said. ‘You?’

‘Do wombats squeal?’

‘Only if you zap them with a cattle prod.’ Jackson said as he drew his assault rifle. ‘But I’ll take that as a yes.’

The two Spartans sprinted to their prearranged positions from where they could fire on the approaching enemy force long before they could reach the town.

‘Kind of wish I had a battle rifle now.’ Jackson said as the Sunnies continued to approach. ‘Assault rifles tend to suck at anything beyond short range, even if I pulse the trigger.’

‘Yeah, well, you don’t.’ Dawson said over TEAMCOM. ‘But if Luna’s looking down on us favourably, you might be able to hit something this time.’

‘Hey, I hit things every time I fire.’ Jackson shot back. ‘It’s just not always living or an enemy.’

‘Don’t I know it?’ Dawson muttered. ‘My ass still hurts from the last time you unloaded a round into it.’

‘That was intentional.’

‘How was it?’

‘You wouldn’t stop reminiscing about what you and Lyra got up to the night before.’ Jackson said. ‘I had to find a way of shutting you up.’

‘There were other ways.’ Dawson said. ‘Like smacking me.’

‘You were too far away.’

‘We were right next to each other!’

‘Still too far.’

Dawson groaned over the COM. ‘Well if you start telling me what you and Luna usually get up to, I’m going for your balls.’ There was a brief pause. ‘Wait. That came out wrong.’

‘So it did.’ Jackson murmured. ‘Doubtful you’d be able to make me wince, even if you did shoot them. Last night was... frantic to say the least. Everything is just numb down there. So I think Luna will smile down on at least me favourably.’

‘And I’m sure Lyra will smile down at me favourably after today.’ Dawson said.

‘I’m sure.’ Jackson said.

Each Spartan knew the other was talking bullshit. Neither of them had any kind of relationship, sexual or otherwise, with Luna or Lyra. It was just something they did to pass the time while they waited for the fighting to start and, in Dawson’s case, give him ideas for when he was alone and out of his armour.

If either pony heard what they said, the Spartans would soon come under fire from them both. And when one was a physical goddess that could move an entire moon, it didn’t bode well for their lifespan.

But that was a worry for another day. Right now, in the present, an incoming force of what looked to be fifty plus Sunnies was closing in and posed a more direct threat to Jackson and Dawson’s livelihood.

‘Standby to engage.’ Jackson called out, giving the archers the signal to prepare their crossbows while everyone else just readied their spears.

He held one hand up while the other kept his assault rifle aimed vaguely in the Solar Empire’s direction, then brought it down once the enemy was less than fifty metres from their position.

Instantly, twenty-three bolts sailed from the deserted town and rained down on the front ranks of the Sunnies. Some were hit by several bolts, others by only a few, but all of the soldiers stopped in their tracks, caught off guard by the sudden attack.

Those who survived the initial barrage took a second to react while their less fortunate compatriots writhed in pain or just lay dead, a crossbow bolt sticking out of their head. When they did start to move, the New Lunar Republic soldiers burst from their cover and charged, spears lowered, ready to kill.

‘Let’s do it!’ Dawson yelled, joining the charge. ‘For the New Lunar Republic!’

‘Yup.’ Jackson said as he followed his teammate’s example, assault rifle up and firing in short controlled bursts.

The Sunnies, who had up to this point been meeting their moon themed counterparts with equal ferocity, faltered at the sight of the two Spartans. Nevertheless, they fired crossbows of their own and took down five NLR soldiers, wounded another six, before focusing most of their attention on Jackson and Dawson.

A spear came flying through the air towards Dawson who looked up at it, stopped, and let it bounce off his armour. He then picked it up and used it to run the original owner through, stabbing him in the chest and kept going until only half the handle was sticking out and the pony was very much dead.

He let go and reloaded.

Jackson watched, as did the Sunnie he was stood next to. The pony was simply staring at the skewered pony, mouth agape, as Jackson drew and primed a frag grenade, keeping his finger on the activation button.

‘Here, hold this.’ He said, holding the grenade out to the stallion who was too dumbstruck to notice who was standing next to him or what he was being handed.

The stallion mutely held his hoof out, allowing Jackson to place the now armed explosive onto it before making his escape.

‘No problem.’ The stallion said distantly before looking at what he had been given. His eyes opened wide in surprise. ‘What? Oh, son of a-‘

Jackson was already well away when the grenade exploded, turning the unfortunate pony into little more than a memory and a rather big bloody mess, carving a path through the Sunnies.

‘Swapping clips.’ He radioed.

‘They’re mags!’ Dawson yelled by way of response. ‘Clips get loaded directly into the weapon and don’t have a spring-loaded feeder! Mags have them. Get it right, you mother humper.’

‘I know the difference.’ Jackson said. ‘I just like annoying you.’

Dawson grumbled something over the COM as a massive stallion, easily seven foot tall, moved to block Jackson.

He went to open fire but the stallion reacted with surprising swiftness and span around to deliver a massive kick that sent Jackson flying backwards. As he did, he spied Dawson moving in to kill another stallion with a knife. He drew his pistol and fired once, striking the pony in the head.

‘Yoink.’ Jackson said as he came to an abrupt halt at the hooves of another Sunnie.

‘Oh, you honky mother humper!’ Dawson shouted at him. ‘That was my kill!’

Jackson put a bullet into the head of the Sunnie above him. ‘I didn’t see your name on it.’

He got up as the pony fell to the ground, the hole in their head smoking slightly, then sprayed an entire magazine at three incoming Sunnies, piercing their golden armour with ease, and sent them tumbling to the floor.

He wondered if the armour was designed to offer any meaningful protection against implements of war or if it was just decorative because looking out of the battlefield that was Hoofington, it didn’t seem to be doing them any good as half their number was injured or dead, all after only ten minutes of fighting. That being said, his and Dawson’s weapons did firing an armour piercing round so maybe it was just the primitiveness of the armour compared to the advancement of the bullet.

In the town of Hoofington

The fighting continued for another hour, quickly turning into hide and seek as the outnumbered Sunnies would go from building to building, forcing the New Lunar Republic to fight in close quarters, slowly whittling them down until there was only a dozen or so still combat capable.

The two Spartans stood either side of a door leading into one of the houses being used by the Sunnies, getting ready to breach it.

‘Ready?’ Dawson said to Jackson.

‘Ready.’ Jackson said.

Dawson nodded then shouted to the ponies inside, ‘This is your one and only chance to surrender. Drop your weapons and walk outside in a calm and collected manner, and we won’t have to shoot you.’

‘Not a chance, you Loonies!’ one pony shouted back. ‘We’d happily die for the one true ruler of Equestria than become prisoners of the false one.’

‘Funny.’ Jackson said. ‘Because we’d happily kill every single one you and piss on your ancestor’s graves for Luna, the real true ruler of Equestria. But, she’s not quite as blood thirsty as us and is willing to take prisoners wherever possible. So today can either be your lucky day or your last.’

‘We choose death!’

‘I don’t.’ A timid voice squeaked, followed by a ‘shut up’.

‘Last chance.’ Dawson said. ‘Because dead or alive, you’re coming with us.’

‘Solar Empire, you Loony bastards!’

‘See?’ Dawson said to Jackson. ‘That’s why I don’t like Sunnies.’

‘I thought it was because one of them made a pass at Lyra while you were there.’ Jackson said as the two Spartans assumed their breaching positions.

‘Well, yeah. There’s that, too.’ Dawson said. ‘Why don’t you like Sunnies again, Commander?’

‘One of them once farted in my general direction while another insinuated my mother was a hamster, and that my father smelled of elderberries.’ Jackson said. He shouldered his assault rifle as Dawson got ready to kick the door down.

‘Oh, yeah.’

Dawson kicked the door right above the handle, obliterating it under the impact, and sent it flying open. Jackson followed it in, assault rifle firing at the nearest target. Dawson soon followed and within seconds, all of the Sunnies inside the house were either dead or cowering in fear.

They both reloaded and stood to one side, allowing the regular soldiers of the New Lunar Republic access to take control of the one prisoner.

‘So now what?’ Dawson asked as the only survivor of the initial Sunnie attack was led outside. ‘We going to leave this place and go back?’

‘Yup.’ Jackson said. ‘Luna said nothing about holding and fortifying it against another attack.’

‘Means Celestia might try again to take it over.’ Dawson speculated as the two Spartans headed outside. ‘If there’s no one to defend it, it’ll be ripe for the picking.’

‘You’d think that.’ Jackson said as he watched a team of NLR soldiers gather the Solar Empire dead into one spot, ready for burial.

‘You’re not gonna do what I think you’re gonna do, are you?’

‘Yup.’

Inside the New Lunar Republic headquarters

Jackson and Dawson dumped themselves into two of the library’s chairs, smelling faintly of wood smoke and burnt flesh, as Luna glowered at them.

‘You burned the town down.’ She said.

‘Yup.’ Jackson said.

‘As well as the bodies of the dead Solar Empire soldiers.’ She said.

Yup.’ Jackson said.

‘For a good reason, no doubt?’ she said.

‘Yup.’ Jackson said.’

Luna let out an irritated sigh as Tiberius scampered onto the desk, a bag of marshmallows clutched between his paws.

‘We could have used that town as a staging area of our own!’ she said loudly.

‘You should have said.’ Dawson told her as he took his helmet off and accepted a marshmallow from Tiberius. ‘But this way, Celestia can’t station troops there anymore, either.’

‘Is that your justification?’ Luna said. She saw Jackson go to open his mouth but cut him off with a hoof. ‘Don’t say anything. Let me guess. Yup?’

‘Yup.’ He said.

She sighed. ‘If you two weren’t so effective at stopping Celestia’s soldiers, I would have sent you back to wherever it is I summoned you from a long time ago.’

‘At least the plan worked.’ Jackson said, propping his feet up on the desk. ‘Can’t argue with that.’

‘I can think of several objections to the outcome of your ‘plan’, Spartan.’ Luna said, catching the scent of smoke coming from the two. ‘But until there comes time where I can get by without you, I’m going to withhold them and do the next best thing: keep you two as far away from me as I can and inflict your plans on Celestia as much as possible.’

The two Spartans looked at each other and nodded in agreement, giving their consent.

‘Sure thing.’ Dawson said. ‘So where are we going next?’