The rise of the Muffin Empress

by Midnight Sonare

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy
Length: 5758

Derpy found King Sombra's horn. Nothing could go wrong, right?

Equestria had face may terrors on the pass of the centuries, especially in the last years since Princess Luna's return. But nothing is compared to what is coming. Will ponies survive? Or will they be crushed under the hoof of true terror?
When certain mailmare finds a source of great power, Equestria and the life of every pony will change forever. For good or evil is still uncertain.

I'm not sure if I should add the Dark tag. It isn't that dark, but have some little dark moments.
I'll put a Slightly Dark tag here.

Special thanks to my editor, Scootareader

Covert art by myself.

Published 2014-09-29 23:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-29 23:20:01 UTC

ALL HAIL DERPY!

The rise of the Muffin Empress

ALL HAIL DERPY!

The sun over Equestria, its journey completed for the day, hid behind the mountains and relinquished its domain to the moon. The last rays of light shone upon the Crystal Empire, reflecting from its beautiful walls and casting an ethereal glow over the land for anyone lucky enough to be looking toward it.

In the train station, a call for the last train leaving the Empire was heard. A pony threaded her way among the crowds as she made her way toward the wagon. “Another job well done, Ditzy!” she said to herself as she took a seat, a bright smile shining on her face.

Ditzy Doo, or perhaps better known by her nickname of Derpy, watched through the window while the train started its journey. She let a long and tired sigh. “Just wait a bit more girls, Mommy is on her way.”

She always liked this kind of job: a delivery that brought her out of Ponyville. They were always an opportunity to see new places and meet new ponies, and she enjoyed every moment of it.

There was, however, one problem. Her favorite kind of delivery also took her away from her two beloved daughters. She knew that her eldest daughter was mature enough to take care of herself and her little sister, but she couldn't help but worry about them.

As the final rays of sun disappeared behind the mountains, the moon started its journey into the sky. Derpy's cross-eyed gaze shifted from the window toward the interior of the wagon. It was late, so few ponies were hidden away in their personal compartments, and even less milling about and socializing. She yawned, making herself comfortable in the seat. The journey back to Ponyville was two hours, so she was going to use that time to get some rest.

Just as she was on the cusp of sleep, a rumble reverberated through the wagon. She quickly threw her gaze outside and immediately noticed that they were losing speed. Looking back inside, every pony in the wagon wore the same look of confusion as they stared at one another.

Within seconds the train stopped completely. A voice echoed through the train, “Please, everypony stay calm. We are having a few small problems with the train engine. We will continue our trip soon.”

Several ponies in the wagon let out a collective sigh while others just grunted. Everypony returned to what they were doing, accepting the idea of arriving a bit later to their destination. It was annoying, but they couldn't do anything about it, just wait.

Everypony except Derpy. “No, no, no, no,” she said worriedly as she began pacing around the wagon. She looked everywhere, the sight of ponies waiting patiently did nothing to alleviate her rising distress. “This can't be happening. I need to go to Ponyville. I need to see my girls!”

She sat down and tried to calm down. It isn't going to take much time, right? she thought, trying to calm herself. “Yeah, it's just a setback. I'm sure that we'll be back on track in no time,” she muttered as the smile returned to her face.

With the passing of time, the wagon went silent. Every agonizing moment ticked by as her agitation grew over the train not moving. Derpy was doing her best not to worry, but after around 20 minutes, she couldn't help the nagging doubts from picking at her brain. She rose from her seat and looked at the ponies in the wagon. They were all simply silently waiting. Some were even sleeping.

Derpy rose from her seat and began making her way to the engine wagon. She passed a few more wagons, where she saw the same patient ponies as in her own wagon. Everypony was just waiting for the train to move.

Arriving at her destination, she knocked on the door and was greeted by an oil-covered stallion. “You can not be here, miss. Wait in your seat, we will start moving as soon as we're done with the reparations.”

On a normal day, she would listened to the stallion, but she needed the train in motion and fast. “But you don't understand! I need to go to Ponyville, my daughters are alone and probably scared!”

“I'm sorry miss, but I can't make a new engine out of nowhere. You will have to wait like the others,” he said before closing the door.

With a grunt she took a few steps away for the door. “Argh, I can't believe it!” she shouted in anger.

She started to walk away from the door and saw an empty can on the floor. Frustrated, she kicked it, not caring where it landed. She didn't realize how much strength she put in the kick until the can bounced off a seat and hit her straight in the face.

“Ouch!” she exclaimed, but just as the can bounced off her face she heard the sound of breaking glass. With one hoof rubbing her face she followed the sound to the left. Her pupils widened at the sight of what she did. “Oops!” she said while looking at the broken window. She turned toward the ponies in the wagon and was greeted with a few angry glances, obviously disturbed by the noise.

She made an awkward giggle while muttering, “I'm sorry.” She threw her gaze back toward the window to take note of the damage. This was something that she was maybe too used to doing.

Her eyes began picking out something in the far distance. Canterlot's nighttime lights could be seen over the mountain.

After staring at it for almost a minute, Derpy decided that she wasn't going to wait anymore. With the best determination face that her eyes allowed her to make, she trotted to the nearest door. Pushing it open with the kick of a hoof, she spread her wings and took flight toward Ponyville.

She was determined to see her daughters, to make sure that they were safe... and nothing would stop her. With several powerful flaps of her wings, she propelled herself through the night sky towards Ponyville and her two beloved daughters.

Derpy soared fiercely through the sky for a whole ten minutes before her tenacious flight started to be plagued with misgivings. “Maybe this wasn't the best idea,” she muttered to herself, realizing the long distance she still had to travel. It was over an hour by train; with just the power of her wings, it would take her fair longer.

She glanced around, trying to think about what to do, when she saw something with her not-so-perfect eye. It was hard to say what it was in the night, but she was sure that she saw some sort of purple glitter in the ground.

Distracted from her trip for a moment, she set her course towards the strange glow. With great skill, she alighted gracefully-face first with a heavy thud. Landing was never her specialty.

“Ouch,” she said, rubbing her sore snout. After making sure everything was where it was supposed to be, she noticed something to her left. Turning her face, she saw that the strange deep purple glow was coming from a rock. Standing on her legs, she walked toward it.

The rock was really strange. It had some kind of black crystal vine spiderwebbing over it, the various branches and stems all coming to a single point at the top of the rock. There was something encrusted in the center of the vines, surrounded by a purple mist and riddled with green cracks. Derpy wasn't sure what it was, but it certainly looked sharp. It also seemed to have the size and form of a unicorn horn.

It was fairly plain to see that this rock was dark and menacing. A normal pony would have turned and walked away as far as possible. Thankfully for Derpy, however, she was not a normal pony. She stood right in front of the rock and, after staring at the horn-looking thing for a while, did something that any mare just like her would do. She touched it.

Just as her hoof made contact with it, she felt a sharp pain in her head and everything went black. She fell to the ground, losing consciousness. Time passed and still she laid upon the ground, but not everything was still. Unbeknownst to her, Derpy's body was going through a big change.

Eventually, Derpy began to wake from her slumber. “What happened?” she asked the nothingness around her. She sat down on the ground while rubbing her head, but when her hoof rubbed her forehead, she froze. There was something that she was sure she hadn't before. She raised another hoof and touched it to be sure that it was really there.

She wasn't going crazy; there was a horn right in her forehead.

“Wow! This is really real?” she said, both hooves feeling her new acquisition. She tried to pull on it, but received an unpleasant feeling. “This really is a unicorn horn!”

Standing back on four legs, Derpy tried to focus her gaze upward. It wasn't easy, but she managed to see the tip of her new horn. It was slightly different from a normal unicorn horn. It was definitely sharper and had a red color in the tip. A bright smile appeared on her face. “I'm an Alicorn!” she squealed in delight. Her thrilled giggles could be heard in the distance. What filly does not grow with the desire to be one?

“Does this mean I can do magic now?” Derpy wondered with an excited tone in her voice. She bent down her head and tried to focus. She heard that unicorns focused to use magic, so she was trying to do the same. The only problem was that she wasn't focused on anything specific; she was just pushing everything she could towards her horn.

There was a small sound of an explosion in the distance, but besides that, nothing else happened. Derpy felt a bit disillusioned, but she didn't have time to worry about it now. She remembered that she still had to go to Ponyville.

Spreading her wings, she prepared to take flight again. She felt really good, like she could make the trip to Ponyville three times now. She focused forward and with a powerful flap of her wings she propelled herself to the air as she has always done.

This time, however, something was different. She felt a great blast of wind and was propelled at an amazing speed toward the air, leaving a crater on the ground. “Wow!” she exclaimed, feeling her new speed. She watched as the distance between her and Ponyville shortened with the passing of seconds. “Don't worry dears, I'll be there in no time!”

If she had been closer or if her hearing were better, she would have heard the screams of terror and pain coming from a train in the distance. A train that was just waiting to be repaired and was suddenly caught in a strange magic explosion that came out of nowhere.

On top of the mountain, inside the majestic Canterlot Castle, Princess Celestia was in her room, preparing to go to sleep. Taking off her regalia and throwing it aside, she walked toward her soft and comfy bed. She was tired after a long day at the court, and though she loved all her little ponies, sometimes they could be a bit annoying. Of course, she would never say that in public.

She let out a heavy sigh and dropped herself onto the bed. Feeling the cold sensation of the unused sheets sliding against her body, she held still for a moment. She was in heaven, she felt in heaven. With small movements, she made herself more comfortable in the bed as she put her head over a pillow. Her horn shone with a soft golden light and the sheets were draped over her body. A doll flew towards her and she grabbed it with both hooves.

With a soft smile, she cuddled her Twilight doll and slowly began to slip into dreamland. Nothing could disturb her at this peaceful and sacred time.

Well, nothing except a yell from her lovely sister. “SISTER, WAKE UP! We have a problem!”

A groan was all that Celestia could manage before continue her way toward the dream she would be having tonight. Perhaps she'd see that guard from the west wing....

“Sister, wake up! This is urgent!” said Luna as she shook Celestia with her hooves in a vain attempt to wake her. She sighed. She never changes, Luna thought. Her lips soon curved into a mischievous smile as an idea came to her mind. “Oh no, what shall we do!? The cake reserves have been depleted!”

“What?!” shouted Celestia as she abruptly opened her eyes and sat upright in bed. She turned toward her sister, panic in her eyes. “This isn't happening, please tell me this is not happening!”

“I apologize sister, but it is true,” declared Luna very seriously. “In fact, not only in the castle, the cakes of all Equestria are gone.”

Celestia's pupils widened and true terror appeared on her face. “No, no, no, no, this can't be happening!” She was about to have a panic attack, but she quickly calmed down and sighed. “That was a joke, right?” she asked sternly as she looked at her sister with a twitch in her left eye.

“Sorry sis, I could not resist,” Luna said while stifling a giggle. She then calmed down and put a serious expression on her face. “But we do have an urgent matter that requires you to be awoken.”

“What is the matter?” Celestia asked as she as she got out of her bed. As she put her hooves on the floor, however, she noticed something odd in the distance. “What the... what is that?”

Luna turned her face toward the big balcony. “We do not know,” she said as she stared in the distance, “but it is going to Ponyville, and fast.”

Twilight Sparkle was returning home after spending the whole day with her friends at Sweet Apple Acres. She was happily humming a song while carrying a basket full of apples, courtesy of her friend. The moon was now high in the starry sky as she made her way through Ponyville.

When she arrived at her home, she stopped and turned around. She looked at the nighttime view of Ponyville. The peaceful streets were surrounded by the darkness of the night. The light of the candles and the moon created a beautiful sight. She loved this little town, and now, as a Princess, she would do everything within her power to protect it.

She was about to open the door when she heard an unusual sound in the distance. If she had to describe it, she would say that it sounded almost like a sonic rainboom. She threw her gaze upward, trying to find the source. But before she could react, a yellow blur flew over Ponyville, too fast for her eyes to follow. Then there was an explosion from a heavy impact.

A wave of dust filled Twilight's vision. She quickly crouched and covered her head with both wings and hooves. Her mind scrambled as she tried to process what has happened. A meteorite? No, that's improbable. What was it, then? she thought. After the ringing in her ears had died down, she uncovered her face and slowly stood up. It was close, she thought when the dust began to clean.

Right in front of her, about one house over, was an impact crater. She picked up her basket and carefully trotted towards the crater, but tensed up just after a few steps. Coming from the center of the hole, she felt a big focus of dark magic. “This isn't normal,” she said to herself, now just standing a few feet away.

Twilight awaited patiently for something to happen, the basket still in her magical grasp. The amount of dark magic that she felt was enough to scare her. Not even the dark magic book that Spike found nor the Alicorn Amulet could compare to this. Even King Sombra's dark magic paled beside it. This was something bigger, and Twilight wasn't sure if she was prepared to face it.

After a few seconds, Twilight saw something move between the remains of the dust cloud. Her muscles tensed even more as a grey and yellow shaped emerged from the crater. She was ready to fight, even if it proved necessary to run.

She wasn't ready for what came out of the crater. “D- De- Derpy!?” she stuttered, dumbfoundedly staring as the Ponyville mailmare climbed out of the crater, rubbing her forehead.

“Ouch! Worst landing ever,” Derpy said as she walked out of the crater.

“Are you okay?” Twilight asked. Everypony knew that Derpy was prone to crashing, but judging from the size of the crater, this seemed far different to Twilight. She moved forward, but froze mid-step. Completely shocked, she lost her magical grasp over the basket and it fell to the ground. “De- Derpy, why y- you have-” she managed to gasp out.

“Oh, hi Twilight!” said Derpy with a silly smile. She returned her hoof back to the ground, fully exposing her new acquisition. She looked down at the basket, to the apples that fell to the ground... and an idea came to her mind. “Let me help you,” she said, bowing her head and starting to focus as she closed her eyes.

Twilight was in shock, mouth agape as she tried to process what was happening. Right in front of her was a powerful source of dark magic, coming from the last pony she could think of. How had Derpy obtained a horn? And why did she have that amount of dark magic within her? Before she could form a question to her friend, Derpy's horn began to shine in a purple and green glow.

Come on Derpy! Give the apples to Twilight! To Twilight! Derpy thought as she tried her best to push her newfound magic through her horn.

“Derpy, what are you...?” Twilight gasped when a bolt of dark energy came out of Derpy's horn. Not having time to react, the magic bolt impacted directly on Twilight, sending her flying through a house.

Unaware of what she did, Derpy slowly opened her eyes to find no trace of Twilight. “Uh? Well, I guess she was in a hurry,” she said, trotting towards the basket and the apples.

“So, this is how it is, eh?” A beam of magical energy came from the house where Twilight landed. It pierced the air at high speed towards Derpy. “Gotcha!” Everything moved in slow motion while Twilight grinned, watching her magical beam streak toward her target. In the last millisecond possible, Derpy bent down to grab an apple on the ground.

The beam passed just a few inches over Derpy's head, leaving a dumbfounded and slightly angry Twilight. “Oh, there you are!” exclaimed Derpy as she naively raised her head.

“What!? How do you...?”

“Erm... Princess...” said a voice coming from her left. Twilight followed the voice and realized that she was in a bedroom, and a nice one. “As lovely it is to have you in my house- Oh Celestia, this is awkward- this is... not the best moment for a nighttime visit,” said Carrot Top, covering her body with her blankets.

Twilight stood there for a moment, her mind analyzing the scene in front of her. Her face suddenly turned a deep shade of red as she noticed a big moving lump under the blankets beside the mare in the bed. “Oh! Erm... sorry! I... I will pay for the repairs!” she shouted as she quickly left the house through the big hole in the wall. As soon as she stepped out of the house, an Apple flew a few inches away from Twilight's cheek.

“Oops! This is harder than I thought. I'm sorry!” shouted Derpy.

After narrowly escaping that deadly apple missile, Twilight stared confused at a smiling Derpy. Is she trying to kill me!? She's acting as friendly as always, but attacked me twice, she thought. She stepped forward cautiously. This time Derpy wasn't going to catch her off guard. I don't know what, but something is obviously not right here.

“It's been great to see you, but I have to keep going. See you later Twilight!” Derpy said as she turned around and walked down the road toward her house.

“Wait, what!? Oh, no, no, no, no,” said Twilight. She quickly teleported in front of Derpy and blocked her way. “You're not leaving.” Quickly charging her horn, Twilight materialized a magical barrier, surrounding Derpy and trapping her inside.

“Uh, what's this?”

“Oh, it's just a little trick my brother taught me,” said Twilight. She gazed proudly at the perfect artwork she had made. “It's a high-level protection barrier, though with a few changes it works perfectly as a temporary prison. It's really strong, so you'll have to use a lot of pow- HEY! DON'T PUT YOUR NOSE THERE!”

Twilight's yell went unnoticed as Derpy carelessly touched the magical barrier with her nose. A shook ran from her muzzle through her whole body as the magic barrier threw her toward the ground. She gracefully landed on her read and rubbed her nose.

“Are you okay?” asked Twilight. Her pupils suddenly widened as she felt a great increase in Derpy's magic.

“Ah, ah, ah...” squealed Derpy while trying her best not to sneeze, unwittingly channeling a great amount of magic toward her horn. Twilight watched in absolute terror as Derpy's horn turned into a bright pillar of pure energy, willing to explode at any moment.

“CHOOOOOOOO!!!”

A heavy blast of dark magic was ejected from Derpy's new horn, breaking the magic barrier like a brittle glass wall. Twilight screamed as she quickly casted another barrier between herself and the unstoppable projectile. It tore apart her new barrier more easily than the previous one, impacting directly on her with a heavy thud.

Thunder roared through the sky while an explosion stirred the earth, filling the air with dust. Derpy slowly opened her eyes and shook her head. She felt slightly sore and glanced around, quickly noticing why. She was at the edge of a huge crater where there had once been a road and a few unlucky houses. “Argh! What just happened?” she asked, trying to stand up. “Twilight? Where are you...” she trailed off after noticing a limp body in the middle of the crater. “Oh, no!”

Silence reigned over the barren crater. Derpy just stared blankly at Twilight's immobile body, trying to understand what had happened. Several minutes passed and no one moved. As a cruel twist of fate, a wild cluster of clouds coming from the Everfree forest loomed into the sky over Ponyville, threatening to release a torrent upon it.

After what seemed like an eternity, Derpy shook her head and started running toward Twilight. Just as she was about to reach her however, a sudden bright light blinded her.

“STAY AWAY FROM HER!!”

Before she had time to open her eyes, a magic wave hit Derpy on the side, sending her away from Twilight. She rolled several times on her back and finally stopped when she hit her face with a rock. “Ouch!” she shouted, rising shakily to her hooves. For the fifth time that night, she rubbed her sore face as she looked around for a careless pony.

Close to the crater's center, right between her and Twilight, was none other than Princess Celestia herself, glaring fiercely at Derpy. A minute ticked by, trails of smoke coming from the princess's mane. It was only until her sister, Princess Luna, landed beside Twilight that she broke eye contact with Derpy.

“Oh please Luna, tell me she's all right,” said Celestia, a little crack in her voice revealing her concern.

“What could have happened for her to be this way?” Luna muttered to herself, staring at the badly hurt Twilight in front of her. She bent her head over Twilight's chest, being careful not to put too much weight on it.

“Is she...” muttered Celestia after seeing her sister's ears fall. Her eyes watered as she tried to prepare herself for what seemed like the inevitable.

“Wait!” Luna shouted. Her ears rose and her face brightened as she heard a little sign of life. “She is weak, but alive. She needs urgent treatment as quickly as possible.”

As soon as she heard her sister's words, Celestia released a breath that she didn't know she was holding. “Thank the Aether!” she exclaimed. She then turned toward Derpy and bent down in a combat stance, spreading her wings. “Take her to a safe place, I'll take care of this... monster,” she said back to her sister.

“No! I am not leaving you behind!”

Celestia turned her head back and looked directly at Luna. Her expression, the fire inside her eyes— Luna felt a shiver run through her spine under the stare of her sister. “I am going to say it just one more time. TAKE TWILIGHT TO A SAFE PLACE, NOW!”

For the first time in more than one thousand years, Luna felt fear. She didn't say anything more, just nodded and turned toward Twilight. With a gentle charge of her horn, she carefully raised and placed Twilight on her back. She spread her wings and took to the sky. She glanced back in time to see her sister's gorgeous mane start to change from multicolor to a slight orange.

Luna bit her lower lip and kept flying toward Ponyville's hospital. At first she was worried about her sister's safety, being left behind with the monster that almost killed Twilight. After seeing Celestia's face, however, her concern shifted toward something else. Nopony had witnessed Celestia's true wrath besides her, and that was something nopony was prepared to do.

In that moment, in what seemed like an attempt to obscure the mood of everypony, the Everfree's clouds began to throw down their water. Luna tried her best to fly through the growing storm, but after a few seconds in the air, she realized she had a problem... a problem which may depend on Twilight's life. She didn't know where Ponyville's hospital was.

Luna heard an explosion coming from her sister's location. The battle has begun, she thought. Quickly glancing around, she scanned the zone looking for the hospital. She needed to take care of Twilight, and fast. She didn't want to think of what would happen if her sister got out of control. As another bright explosion made her turn her head to the side, she finally spotted the hospital.

With a swift dive, Luna reached the hospital's door in mere seconds. Pushing the door open, she rushed toward reception, shocking everypony in the room. “Y-y-y-your highness!” babbled a mare behind reception.

“Quickly! I need the best of your doctors, NOW!” Luna shouted as she turned around, revealing Twilight's limb body.

Everypony in the room gasped at the horrid scene. The mare behind reception covered her mouth with a hoof. “What... what is happening!?”

“There is no time to explain. A doctor, now!”

“Right!” said the mare, bolting out of reception and through a double door. In less than a minute, the same mare came back with a couple of doctors and a stretcher in tow.

Luna carefully left Twilight in the doctors' hooves and galloped back to the front door. “Take care of her!” she said as she extended her wings, but before taking flight she looked at the distance, toward the battle ahead. So much dark magic... if we were that powerful, maybe we... “No!” Luna yelled, shaking her head. She fixed her gaze upward and took flight.

After a few seconds spent flying, a huge a bright nova threw her out of the sky. It was like a small sun was in Ponyville. It shook the earth and its light illuminated the town. Luna stood as quickly as she could after crashing through a house and landing in a road. “Oh great! The first thing we will have to do after this is over is rebuild the whole town,” Luna muttered to herself as the explosion faded away.

Heading back into the sky, Luna set her course towards the battleground. She could feel the huge amount of dark magic coming from there, and her sister's magic, though it had lost some of its strength. “I hope Celestia is fine,” said Luna.

Are you sure that we want her to be fine? This is a golden opportunity...

“She... she is my sister...” Luna to herself, biting her lower lip, “She... I... I love her...”

What a lovely sister, locking us far away and then pretending nothing happened...

Luna shut tight her eyes, letting her voice slip away. “I... I can not do that... not again... or... can I...”

It's time to make her pay...

A grim smile crossed Luna's face as she approached the big crater. “This shall end soon.”

Celestia and Derpy stood facing one another close to the middle of the crater. Their battle had been epic thus far. Debris was scattered all over the ground. A few housed were reduced to ashes. The balance, however, had shifted to one side. While Derpy was almost untouched, Celestia was in bad shape. Her vibrant mane lost its luster, cuts and bruises all over her coat, and she was trying not to put weight on an injured leg.

A mighty wingbeat alerted both of Luna's arrival. “Oh, thank the Aether, Luna!” Celestia shouted, her suddenly haggard face creasing into a smile of hope upon seeing her sister. “Is Twilight safe? Why did you take so long? Never mind, I'm glad you're here, I don't think I could take anymore....” She trailed off, her hope crushed as she watched her sister taking a side. “Lu-Luna...?”

“We are sorry, sister,” said Luna as she landed beside Derpy, “but we have chosen the winning side.” Luna stole Celestia's grin at the look of shock on her sister's face, then turned around and looked at an equally confused Derpy.

“I... I just don't know what went wrong,” said Derpy.

“Do not worry. Let me take care of this,” said Luna. She bowed in front of Derpy, then turned around, facing her sister.

Celestia's face was a mess and she wore an expression of absolute despair. “Luna please, this doesn't have to be this way!”

“Do not fear, sister,” said Luna as she charged her horn, a smile upon her face, “I won't kill you.”

“Sister, plea-” A heavy magic blast of magic cut her off, sending her flying unconscious toward the ground.

Silence ruled over the battlefield as Luna stared at her immobile sister on the ground. One thousand years later, she had finally achieved her goal. She couldn't have done this alone, though... she owed this victory to a mightier pony. A pony whose strength and wisdom must be unmatched if she was able to defeat Celestia alone. Luna turned around and faced Derpy.

Confused and scared, Derpy stepped back as she looked at Luna. She only wanted to help Twilight with her apples, but right in front of her was Princess Celestia down and Princess Luna staring at her, possibly wanting to do the same to her. “I... you... her... Princess...” she babbled. She closed her eyes and waited for her terrible fate. She tried not to think about all the pain she was about to receive, but surprisingly, nothing happened. Opening her eyes, she gasped at the sight in front of her.

The redoubtable Princess Luna was kneeling in front of Derpy. “Please, mighty warrior, allow me to rule by your side. Together we can bring a new age to Equestria,” she said. Raising her head, she looked into Derpy's eyes.

“I... don't... but... we...” Derpy stammered as she stepped back again.

Luna noticed Derpy's insecurity and was desperate not to lose her chance to rule. “Please, great warrior, simply ask us what it is that you desire and we shall make it so.”

Derpy blinked momentarily, then a smile spread across her face. “Well, I do love muffins.”

A bright blue sparkle illuminated the sky for a brief moment. There was a long and deadly silent. As the tension rose to the point of despair, a maniac laugh echoed through Ponyville, cutting through the silent and announcing the beginning of a new age.

The next day, when the sun was bright over the sky, two figures made their way toward Ponyville. “Are you sure they will forgive me?” asked Chrysalis, trotting toward the town with some insecurity.

“Of course, dear! They forgave me, right?” said Discord, flying alongside the changeling queen. “If you explain your reasons I'm sure they are going to understand!”

“I hope so...” said Chrysalis, now heading through a street.

They both made their way through Ponyville until they stopped upon reaching the town square. “Uh? This is new,” said Discord. He stared at the big throne right in front the town hall and all the ponies gathering in front of it. He duly noticed that the pony sitting on it wasn't Princess Celestia as usual, no; it was, unbelievably, the Ponyville mailmare. She even wore Celestia's regalia and her big crown.

“What happened here?” Chrysalis asked, looking towards the commotion in front of her. She then focused her gaze on a cage close to the throne. “Is... is that Celestia in there?”

“Indeed she is, and she doesn't look happy,” said Discord as he stroked his beard. “It seems that I missed a big party here.”

“Behold, the new ruler of Equestria! Princess Ditzy Doo!” said Princess Luna in her Royal Canterlot Voice. She stood at Derpy's right, announcing the news to everypony.

“What?!” exclaimed Chrysalis. She turned her head and glanced toward Discord. “What I am supposed to do now?”

“I suggest you to learn how make muffins, and pronto.”

Author's Note

I'm sorry if the story wasn't as funny as you expected. I'm not very good at comedy. Though I tried to avoid it, it ended more serious that what I wanted.

Anyway, feel free to tell me what you think of it on the comment. Any critique would be appreciated.