Hellblazer of Equestria: The Trials of John Constantine

by Ron Jeremy Pony

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Main 6, Romance, Princess Luna, Comedy
Length: 13828

Expect the unexpected. That's something that John Constantine has tried to live by. He's lived as long as he has by expecting the unexpected, and by conning some of the most powerful beings in existence.

Expect the unexpected. That's something that John Constantine has tried to live by. He's lived as long as he has by expecting the unexpected, and by conning some of the most powerful beings in existence.

Unfortunately that's going to be a might harder to do in this new world. A world that he agreed to be shipped off to in order to protect everything and everyone he loves. A world so teeming with magic, and seemingly so perfect, that it's going to be difficult to want to leave.

I Pinched the Picture of John from a Google picture search.

*And it made it to the popular stories section! Seriously, how in the hell did it do that? *

Published 2014-07-10 23:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-26 19:31:41 UTC

Ballad of John Constantine

Hellblazer of Equestria:

The trials of John Constantine

A Hellblazer and MLP crossover

Chapter 1 Ballad of John Constantine

The sounds of screaming echoed through the halls.  It was the same, always the bloody same.  It didn’t matter where or when I was there was nothing that would ever change the sound of a bloody asylum.  Arkham to Ravenscar Secure Facility every place has the same sounds of the damned here on Earth.  There’s holy men, heh holy men that’s a laugh, that claim there is no hell here on Earth.

Those bastards have never been inside of an asylum before.  They don’t know what it’s like to be around all of that fear, anger, hate, and just plain insanity.  I’ve been to the real hell before, faced the first, second, and third of the fallen there.  Trust me, I’d rather take a stroll through the seventh level of hell and face off against Wormwood before I ever get recommitted to another asylum.

So, being here, in this asylum is insane.  It’s long since been condemned, closed, and those inside shipped to a new world of pain and suffering.  Still, I find myself here, in the ruins of this hellish place in order to speak to a being who has become more and more insane over time.  I look around the room.  I need insanity, pure, true, complete insanity to contact him.

“The things I do,” I mutter.

I step into the room.  The padded walls long since clawed and torn.  I feel the insanity leaking over me, covering me, entering me, and it is through a force of will that I keep it out.  I won’t bloody give it the pleasure of taking me.  Not until I’ve talked to Shade.

“Shade!  You daft bastard I want a word with you!”

“Patricia?” a questing voice asks.

“Shade, do I look like a girl that’s been dead for fifteen years?” I asked.

The room fills with bright colors, those colors look vibrant for a moment before they all become a crimson red.  The walls begin to bleed, old dark blood seeps up through the drain in the floor, but I don’t move.  I can’t move.  If I do then this is all for nothing.  I have one shot to protect Epiphany, my unborn child, Gemma, and Maria.  Shade is insane, but if I can get him to swear, to promise to watch, to protect, then nothing will dare bother them.

“CONSTANTINE!  I said the next time I see you I will kill you!  You took Patricia away from me!  You made her want you!  You cast your dirty suggestion magic on her and ruined her!” Shade roared as he took form.

The years had not been kind to Shade.  He had slipped so much further into insanity than before.  Before he was content to reside in his little world, and create images of his lost love and pretend to be with her.  Now, his clothes changed from the multicolored pinstripe suit he always wore into a multicolored straight jacket, pajama pants, and sandals.  His hair was no longer even pretending to be combed or in place.  It stuck wildly out, showing how far he had fallen.

It was hard to see someone who had so much power, who had one time rivaled Gabriel’s own raw power, so lost to the insanity.  Still, it was that insanity, that power I needed to secure.  Even Shade had to obey promises made.  Insanity or not he had follow any promise he made to the letter.  Even if that promise was part of a deal it had to be followed and obeyed.  Nergal, Wormwood, and any of the fallen that still wanted my head wouldn’t dare try to make a move on Epiphany, Gemma, Mary, or my unborn child with Shade’s promise to protect them.  They’d have to come for me, and I could protect myself.

I watched as Shade raged, the blood on the walls and floor rising up to my chin, threatening to overtake me, drown me, destroy me, but I knew better than to panic.  I couldn’t show fear.  Fear would let the insanity inside of Shade take me.  I couldn’t allow that.

“Shade, I’ve come to make a deal,” I said.

The blood began to reside and Shade’s eyebrow arched before he became solid.  He completely formed and touched the floor of the Asylum for the first time in what could be years.  I was surprised to see him take form completely.  The last time he had been near an asylum he had nearly lost all composure, but then again he wasn’t this lost to his own insanity.

“Do you think I’m a mere demon Constantine?  Is that what you think?  That I’m something that will accept your terms and do so for your mortal soul?  If that is what you believe then you are a bigger fool than I believed.  I know the first, second, and third of the fallen fell for your trick.  I know that Nergal and Wormwood both own rights to your eternal soul, and that they will neither attempt to claim it for fear that their rule over their sections of hell will be thrown into chaos.  I know you John Constantine, and I will make a deal with you only if I can set the terms,” Shade said.

“Well, this just went to shite,” I thought.

I was backed against the wall without any other hope.  I needed Shade’s help, and that meant agreeing to whatever terms he sat.  I cursed myself for not seeing this possibility.  I did royally screw him over with Patricia.  Sure, it’s been fifteen years ago, but fifteen years to a nutter could be an eternity or it could be the span of a few seconds.  With Shade I was going with the span of a few seconds.

“What do you want Shade?” I asked

I felt my teeth gritting, nearly grinding as I waited.  His mouth twisted into a sadistic smile and he stuck out his hand.

“I will send you away, far away.  It is a place where you can’t bother me anymore, and the only way back will be through your own power.  No other magic will help you, unless you find a way of channeling it.  That is my terms,” Shade said.

It could be worse.  I knew it could be worse, but then again I didn’t know where it was that he wanted to send me.  It could be almost anywhere or anytime.  I breathed in and held it for a moment.

“I agree,” I said letting my breath out after a moment.

“What is it that you want?” he asked.

“I want your word that you will protect Gemma, Maria, Epiphany and my unborn child.  I want you to swear that you will not let any being that has a score to settle with me try to settle it with them instead,” I said.

A scowl crossed his face.  I could tell that he wasn’t pleased with the idea of being tied to my family, but at this point I didn’t care.  I was giving up the possibility of seeing them again in order to protect them.

“Fine,” he said sticking out a cloth covered hand.

I touched his straightjacket and I felt the madness inside of him swirl down into the very fiber of my being.  Fears of every inmate, of every child, and of every murder victim filled me.  I screamed as the madness collected around me, and then as my body began to burn a bright unforgiving white.  The blood covered walls and floor of the asylum disappeared from my sight.  Instead I fell straight down into darkness.

I felt something happening, my entire body began to shape, change, and it bloody well hurt!  I felt my ribs breaking, reshaping, and then rebreaking again.  I screamed as I fell, screamed as something ripped through my forehead and stuck out, screamed as my fingers and toes pulled themselves up inside of my hands and feet.  I screamed until my throat was raw and bleeding.  That’s when the darkness began to shift, and change.  I was still falling, but the sky I was falling from was different.

It didn’t look like London’s sky.  There wasn’t a heaviness to air, and there wasn’t a grimy feeling all around.  It felt pure, and the sky looked impossibly blue.  It was peaceful, or as peaceful as a sky can be when someone was falling to their death.  I felt something wrap around me, and my fall slowed.  I landed on the ground and stumbled forward on my hands and feet.

I looked down to see no more hands.  I saw hooves, I glanced back to see no more feet, instead there was hooves.

“Bollocks,” I muttered before I passed out.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Twilight’s POV

Since becoming a princess I’ve seen more than my fair share of strange events.  Actually, ever since moving to Ponyville I’ve seen more than my fair share of strange events.  I’ve often wondered if perhaps Ponyville rests on some kind of universal nexis that draws unexplained events to it.  It’s something I’ve been trying to study for a while.

Today though, seeing a Unicorn stallion blinking into existence, falling from a height that even Rainbow Dash would be hesitant to go, and dressed in such loose fitting clothing…  Well, it’s not the strangest thing ever, but I’d say it’s the strangest thing for day at least.  I glanced at his golden mane, light brown colored coat, and shook my head.  I felt magic coming off of him, but it wasn’t the normal unicorn kind.  It felt… blended.

When we landed he simply looked at his forehooves, his hindhooves, and then said a strange word before passing out.  I cocked an eyebrow at him before I felt the air shift around me and one of my closest friends landed near me.  She walked toward the now unconscious stallion and touched his shoulder.

“Well, I suppose that’s one way of getting over Flash,” she said.

“Rainbow, this is serious,” I replied.

“Sure is, I mean he’s not bad looking, but what did you do to bring him here?” she asked .

“I didn’t.  He just sort of appeared.  I’m guessing that he had a teleportation spell go wrong,” I said.

“Uh huh, He really doesn’t look like he’s from around here,” she replied.

“Long distance teleportation spell go wrong?” I more asked than suggested.

“Well, whoever he is I bet that he’s going to need some help.  Should we try to take him to the hospital?” she asked.

“Sure, I’ll teleport us there,” I said.

I covered all three of us with the spell, and as soon as it touched him it failed.  I felt the energy of the spell simply fall apart.  I glanced at the unicorn stallion and tried to cast the spell directly on him.  Once the white light of the spell touched him it turned brittle and fell apart.  My eyes widened at this.  There was no pony, no pony anywhere that could simply destroy magic like this when they were unconscious.  Celestia had once told me that Star Swirl the bearded had created a way to break down magic, but it took way too much focus and time to be of any use.

“Twilight, what’s going on?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I don’t know, but I’ve got to study this!  This is unprecedented!  There are so many questions going through my head about this!  What kind of magic was he using that makes any other magic simply break down?!  I know that there are barriers that Princess Celestia can create to cause magic to dispel, but it doesn’t really destroy the magic.  It just returns it to its natural state.  This actually causes the magic to become brittle and break apart!” I said, perhaps a bit too excitedly.

“Twilight, Twilight, TWILIGHT!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

“What?” I asked.

“How are we going to move him?” she asked.

I thought about it.  We were at least twenty minutes away from Ponyville, but Sweet Apple Acres was closer.  We could ask Applejack if she had a wagon to borrow.  I didn’t want to try and carry him while flying.  If whatever it was that was breaking down magic around him did it to any magic there was every chance that Pegasus flight magic would be affected.  But then again, I didn’t feel strained when I caught him and slowed him down.  I reached down and touched him.  Nothing happened.

“Think we can carry him to Ponyville while we’re flying?” I asked.

“I suppose we could, but if he slips out of those clothes it might get interesting,” Rainbow Dash replied.

I nodded.  She was right.  If he slipped out of these loose clothes there wasn’t a guarantee that either one of us could catch him.  I was sure that Rainbow could, but then again I couldn’t promise that she would be able to.  Instead I looked toward Sweet Apple Acres again and nodded.

“Rainbow, do you think that you could go out to Sweet Apple Acres and see if they can loan us a wagon?” I asked.

“Sure, I was going out there anyway,” she said.

“I thought that you were going to let me test the spectrum ability of your sonic rainboom after our connection to the Tree of Elements became a little more cemented,” I replied.

“Well yeah, I guess, it’s just that I wanted to go by there and maybe see what Mac was doing,” she replied.

“He’s married, to Cheerilee, and besides aren’t you dating Soarin?” I asked.

“Naw, Soarin’s fun to hang out with, but he’s not someone I would depend on being a seriously relationship kind of guy.  Someone who would be fun, has a great body, and knows his stuff, but not really a relationship kind of guy,” she said.

“The great Rainbow Dash is interested in a relationship?” I asked.

She nervously moved her hoof.

“Maybe…  I mean I’ve watched Discord and Fluttershy, Pinkie and Cheese Sandwich, and even Rarity and Thunderlane have gotten together.  It seems like everypony we know is getting together with somepony else.  For a while I thought that you and…” she stopped.

“It’s fine Rainbow.  Finding out what he was really like was the best thing possible.  It most likely has saved me from some heart ache later on,” I said.

“I know, but that wasn’t cool of me,” she said.

“It’s fine.  But do you mind to see if they will send a wagon?” I asked.

“Sure,” she said.

And before I could say another word she was gone.  I looked back at the stallion lying on the ground.  There was something strange about him.  It interested me, begged me to find out what it was that was so different.  I needed to figure out his magic.  It was new, it was different, it was a learning experience, and I needed to step back now.  I couldn’t do this.  There was something coming off of him making me feel so strange.  It felt like all I cared about was discovering everything about him.

I knew that discovering things wasn’t bad.  Being Celestia’s student had taught me that, but not taking another pony’s life or decision about being used to discover things was horribly wrong.  I watched his head move.  One of his eyes opened and I saw a beautiful blue eye.

“Where in the bloody hell am I?” he asked.

“The what?” I asked.

“Oh Bollocks…  A talking unicorn…  Shade you daft bastard!  Where in the fiery pits of hell did you send me?!” he shouted.

“Shade?” I asked.

“Love, do me a favor, and pipe down for a moment.  I’ve got a headache, and I’m talking to a talking horse,” he said.

My eyes widened at the insult.  He called me…  he called me a whorse!

“What did I ever do to you?!” I cried.

He looked confused.  I turned away from him and heard the sound of a sigh.

“Will it make any difference if  I say that I’m sorry?” he asked.

“Not if you don’t mean it,” I said.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.  I really didn’t,” he replied.

I turned around and looked at him.  He looked tired, ragged, and there was still that weird feeling that was coming off of him.  I backed away a little.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“There’s something strange about you.  I…  I don’t know what it is, and it’s making me feel kind of weird,” I say.

I turn back around and he’s trying to get something out of a pocket of the long off yellow coat of his.  He stops pawing at it and grumbles.

“I need a bloody silk cut,” he muttered.

I looked at him and studied his face.

“Did you mean what you called me?” I asked.

“What did I call you?” he asked.

I sighed and looked to make sure that Applejack, Rainbow, or anypony else wasn’t coming yet.

“You called me a whorse,” I said.

“Isn’t that what you are?” he asked.

“NO!” I shouted.

“I think there is something lacking in communication here.  What does that word mean here?” he asked.

“It means somepony that sells…  Ummm…  Sells themselves for money,” I say.

“Oh, OH!  You thought that I called you a whore!  Sorry, no, that’s not what I meant.  So, what are you then?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

He rolled his eyes and looked at his hooves.

“What exactly am I?” he asked.

“You’re a unicorn stallion,” I said.

It seemed kind of obvious.  I wasn’t sure why he didn’t understand what he was.

Arcane Darkness

Hellblazer of Equestria:

The trials of John Constantine

A Hellblazer and MLP crossover

Chapter 2 Arcane Darkness

Shade had done something I hadn’t expected when he sent me here.  He had sent me to a world that seems to be almost perfect.  The woman, or mare, I’m staying with is a prime example.  Apparently she’s a princess, has the ability to use magic, but her abilities are similar to Zatanna’s.  It’s almost completely external.  Everything she messes with is in the physical world, and the mere thought of the astral plain seems foreign to her.  I’ve bloody well explained the spiritual realm, how what I do is tied into the supernatural, and she doesn’t understand a bit of it.  It’s all theory and no practice.

I looked through some of her books, most of looks like someone tried to write a detailed definition of what magic was.  The only thing that seems to be close to what I’ve tried to explain is by some Git called Star Swirl.  I looked out the window and watched the rain.  It’s controlled.  The weather is controlled.  They schedule when it’s going to rain, when it’s dry, whatever will happen is scheduled far ahead of time.  I almost wonder if there is something like this happening behind the scenes back on Earth.  It’d make sense.  Every angel I’ve known has been a right bastard, and the way it rains in London I wouldn’t have been surprised if one of hosts had gotten right pissed at some wanker.

Then she flew by.  I turned away from the window.  The voice was the same.  She sounded like Epiphany, and I couldn’t stand it.  It was another reminder of what I left behind.  Sure, her accent was different, but it was almost like hearing Epiphany trying out an American Accent.  I had turned when I heard her voice, and I had half expected to my Pippy, but it wasn’t her.  Her coat, that’s what the one I’m staying with, Twilight I think her name is, called it, was the same color as Pippy’s hair, but it couldn’t be her.

I knew that it couldn’t be her.  It couldn’t be because Shade had promised to protect her.  His protecting her wouldn’t be sending her away.  If I knew Shade his protecting her was watching from the aether.  I felt a bit of Shade’s insanity stirring inside of me.  I pushed it back, forcing the swirling vortex back down.  I let too much of Shade’s madness enter me when we made our deal.  I breathed in and let it out.

“Keep it down John.  You can do this.  It’s just like Ravenscar.  The madness isn’t part of me.  It’s Shade’s, and I don’t have to have it,” I thought.

I looked at the mirror.  The answer would be simple.  He was still in limbo, he was part of the Aether between universes now.  My darker half still drifted out there, and I could send this insanity to him.  I almost started when I forced myself to stop.  My darker half, my demon self, was in a state of near death.  He was harmless now, and if I feed this insanity to him there was every chance he would heal.  If he did then I knew exactly what I would do if I was him.

I knew it would involve me on the business end of a death curse, a slow, painful death curse.  I couldn’t risk it.  Instead I just needed to force the insanity into something else.  I looked around the room I was in and didn’t see anything that would help.  There was my coat, but there was enough attached to it already.  Wards, hellfire, curses, and blessings had all found themselves wrapped into the old yellow trench coat.

I sniffed the air and smelled something sweet.  I walked toward the smell and found a half-eaten cupcake.  It was a present from a welcoming party, something that apparently was thrown for every newcomer to this town.  I looked at it and let the madness begin to collect.  I pictured it, inside of me, moving down my arm, or foreleg, into my hoof, and then I pressed it to the half-eaten cupcake.

It changed colors, becoming darker, the pink became blood red, and it there was an aura rolling off of it.  I breathed out a sigh feeling the weight of Shade’s madness gone.  I looked at half-eaten pastry sitting there.  I couldn’t let it be eaten by anything, and burying it would only allow Shade’s madness to infect the very ground.  A soft groan of acceptance covered me.  I had to contain it.

I had seen the others pick up objects with their hooves, and hold them, but I wasn’t about to touch this thing.

“What’s that?” a familiar voice asked.

I turned to see her.  She stood, curious, observant, and wanting to know.  It was like being with my niece Gemma again.  I shook my head.

“A bit of madness forced out and placed into something it can’t escape from,” I replied.

I felt her eyes on me and looked toward her.

“You can remove insanity?!” she asked.

“Some kinds, why?” I asked.

“Do…  We have a mare in the Ponyville hospital.  She’s been kept away from the other patients, and everything I’ve heard has pointed to something driving her insane.  If you could actually help her…” she started before I held up a hoof.

“First, it has to be specific.  This madness is supernatural.  Shade, the being that sent me here, put it in me.  He does it unconsciously, and if I didn’t know what to sense or feel I wouldn’t have known it was there.  Normal insanity is different.  It’s some poor bastard’s mind pushed to the breaking point and then shoved a little further,” I said.

“Please, could you just see if there is something we could do, and maybe show me how you do it?” she asked.

“Say no John.  Tell her no.  It’s just like Gemma, and you don’t want that on your head anymore,” I thought.

She looked at me, expectantly, then her face shifted to a pout.  It doesn’t matter what universe they reside in.  Women, all women, cheat when they want something.  I looked at the half-eaten pastry and then at her.

“We find somewhere to put this first.  We can’t let anyone touch it.  That madness is dangerous,” I said.

“Oh, I know just the place!  I’ve been working on a special containment box!  So far it works on Discord’s magic, so it should work on that!” she excitedly said as she levelated it into the air.

I followed her to a different room of this tree shaped crystal monstrosity, and watched as she placed it into a glass case.  She closed the lid and the entire box turned black. She backed away from it slowly.

“That’s really dark magic,” she said.

“Aye luv, it is.  It’s created from the fear and insanity of every inmate of every Asylum from where I come from.  All of that insanity leads into Shade, and the poor daft bastard has to handle it on his own,” I replied.

She looked at me completely surprised.

“He handles all of the insanity?” she asked.

“He channels it.  It flows through the aether, and he is connected to the aether.  Insanity needs a living host, and since he’s alive, it uses him,” I explained.

“Why don’t you help him?” she asked.

“Because the nutter won’t let anyone help him!  He either forces them to live with him in his pretend world, or he banishes them to another time, another world, or another universe.  He’s every extreme, and no constant,” I said.

“Sounds like how Discord used to be,” she mused as she led me out to the hospital.

We moved through the street, heading up to the building.  When we finally made it into the hospital I felt it.  I didn’t want to believe it.  It couldn’t be here, it just bloody well couldn’t be here!  Still, every single step deeper into the hospital reinforced the feeling.  The heaviness of it flowed over, and I shook my head.  This wasn’t right.  This place was nearly perfect, but the moment I saw her I saw it.

The blood red and black aura floating off of the mare in the straightjacket seemed to fill the room.  She rocked back and forth, her eyes trained on a single spot on the wall.  I looked at the spot, and saw what she stared at.  It was a single mirror, showing the reflection of rotting red mare with six horns poking through her skull and spine.

She giddily laughed as the door opened.  I growled as I walked in.  It was the same.  It was the absolute blood same.

"Always the bloody same!  It's always the bloody same, even here things aren't that different," I thought as I saw the mare in the straitjacket.

She laughed insanely as I neared her, and her eyes turned milky white.  I cursed to myself and closed my eyes.  This wasn't something to be messing around with.  I had to remember what happened to my mates before.  That exorcism had ended with a pissed off demon taking the heads of most of my mates.  Feces and I was the only two members of Mucous Membrane left.

Not that it really mattered about the band.  We were shite, but we loved it.  No it was seeing my mates torn apart by that thing.  A being straight from the lowest levels of hell, and here was something close to the same.  It laughed at me, not knowing, not understanding, not until I nearly finished the circle.  I bit my tongue and drew some blood.  I spat it on the circle and touched it with my...  hoof.  Still getting used to that.

The mare ran forward and bounced off of an invisible wall.  There was a gasp behind me and I knew what was going to happen.  I fucking knew, and I didn't want to allow it.

"Seeing something you like luv?" I asked without looking.

"How... You didn't cast a shield or barrier spell," her voice said.

"You focus on the here and now.  Trust me luv, what I'm about to do will ruin you.  Leave, walk out that door, and never come back to see this again.  You don't need it.  You're happy.  You've got friends, you don't see things you aren't meant to see, leave, and forget about this," I replied.

I wanted her to listen to me.  She was a good kid, reminded me so much of Gemma.  Always interested in what Uncle John was doing, how he was able to see spirits, talk to ghosts, lay the dead to rest, wrestle demons, and stop the world from falling into hell.  She wanted to know, and it ended up ruining her.  She's a neurotic mess now thanks to my curse.  Constantly looking over her shoulder, constantly worried, wanting to stay away from the power that lives inside of her.  And that fear was enough to let one of Wormwood's lower level soldiers rape her mind.  I still remember pulling the little bastard from her head, destroying him, but damage done.

I don't want to watch it happen again.  Not with a nice kid like her.  Not with her reminding me of what Gemma used to be like.

"I want to learn," she said.

"So magic eh?  I wonder what it was that you wanted when you first wanted to learn.  Probably so long ago you don't even remember, but I figure it was something you believed was worth taking the risks for.  Money, sex, power, revenge, something like that right?  Maybe it was thinner thighs in thirty days, but whatever it was I'm going to tell you something for free," I said turning around to face her.

To her credit she stood strong, ready, and defiant to anything I might say to change her mind.

"At rock bottom, it's always about the same thing. It's always about entropy.  The universe is winding down, and the moving quill is writing on the wall, and what it says is 'Tough Shite'.  You can't get something for nothing.  You've got to work for a living.  Putting in more effort than you'll ever get out.  That's the third law of Thermodynamics, and it's the one we love to hate.  Take that mug of cider you drank earlier.  Someone had to gather the apples, test them, look them over, and then process them into cider.  A whole lot of energy spent to get a little back.  But what about cheating the tax man.  What about summoning up a demon to give you a mug, or creating it from the raw materials at hand.  Well then you've cheated the system, and you start getting cocky!"  I shouted as I looked at her.

"You get cocky and then your best mates pay for it!  Something comes out and it knows that you've played the system, it knows that you're a cheat, and it will use that against you.  That thing, inside of that mare, it's like nothing you've faced.  It will crawl into your head, bend your mind over, and fuck it until you go insane.  It doesn't care what you can do here, because it doesn't exist here.  Walk out, and leave the room.  You don't know what it is you're asking to learn," I said.

"I'm not leaving," she said.

She acted far too much like Gemma.  I turn from her.

"Don't look at it.  You don't want to see," I said.

I walked toward the mare who was still throwing herself against the edge of the circle.

"I'm addressing the entity inside," I said.

"We are the devourers of minds, the feasters of souls, and you little unicorn will become our next victim," several voices said at once.

"Tell your boss, when you see 'em, that John Constantine sends his regards," I said before I closed my eyes.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus...

hanc animam redintegra...

lustratus!

lustratus!"  I shouted as a weight began to press down on me.  I heard something drop and then there was a scream.  I scream that only comes when someone's entire world had been changed.  When things they believed to be true suddenly were called into question.  A scream that meant that the lavender princess had finally had her exorcism cherry popped.

I couldn’t take my eye off of the demon facing me.  It roared out in defiance.  It’s hooves striking the invisible wall separating it from me.

“Settle down right now,” I said.

“We’ll swallow your soul little stallion!  We’ll take control of your mind and rape you into submission!” its voices cried out.

“No you won’t.  Because I know your name,” I said.

It stood very still.  Its face hardened, milky white eyes narrowed, and a bit of orange flame escaped through its nostrils.

“Then say it,”

“Rosacarnis, seductress, duchess, and second in command of the realm of lust I command you by your name,” I said.

She growled before she knelt.

“What is thy bidding?” she asked.

It was her.  In her truest form, or rather it was a copy of her.  If she existed then Nergal existed here as well.  These ponies were defenseless against them because they didn’t know.  They believed in magic, because it was part of their known world, but beings like her.  She was different.

“Return to your realm, and spit into your father’s eye,” I said.

Her own eyes widened before she screamed in anger and was engulfed in orange flames.  I watched as she burned away into ash before I rubbed my hoof through the circle breaking it open.  The mare on the floor groaned looking up at me with confusion.

“Where am I?” she asked.

“Somewhere you don’t deserve to be luv.  Come on, let’s get you out of here,” I said.

I turned and saw Twilight, slowly regaining her composure.  She faced the ground, her eyes looking away from me.

“It’s real,” she said.

“Yes,” I answered.

“All of it?” she asked.

“And more.  You’ve seen them, and they don’t like to be seen.  You will never be able to turn it off now,” I said.

“I… I didn’t know,” she whispered.

“I know, and I’m a right bastard for letting you see it,” I said.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXRainbow Dash’s POV

The weather team ran like I expected.  Well, more or less.  Thunderlane kept wanting to hurry up.  I knew he wanted to go see Rarity as soon as he could, but the weather came first, and then anything else.  After the rain finished I cut everypony loose and headed down to Twilight’s.  She had that strange stallion staying with her, and to be honest I wanted to know what her plans were with him.

I noticed that besides the guards, there wasn’t anyone home.  I snorted in annoyance, ready to leave, when I spotted her walking back from the hospital.  Near her was the strange stallion, and there between them was Screw Loose.  Somepony had let that crazy mare out, but she wasn’t acting all crazy and shouting at trees and rocks.

I neared them and Twilight looked toward me and then behind me.  She let out a scream and jumped back.  I turned around and didn’t see a thing.

“Okay, what was that about?” I asked.

“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” the strange stallion said.

“What are they?” Twilight asked.

“Souls, unable to move on,” he replied.

“What is going on here?  Did you do something to her?” I asked.

I eyed him ready to beat the stuffing out of him if he hurt Twilight when she shook her head.

“No, I wanted to see Rainbow.  I wanted to see, and I saw it.  I saw…  I don’t know what I saw,” she said.

I looked at him and shoved him hard.

“What did you do to my friend?!” I demanded.

“I tried to protect her!” he shouted at me.

“Horseapples!  What’s wrong with her?!” I shouted back.

“Rainbow… I need to find Spike.  I’ve… I’ve got to contact Princess Celestia.  I need to tell her about this,” Twilight said.

I glared at the stallion as he looked at me.

“I didn’t hurt her,” he said.

“I’m coming with you, and you’re going to explain what happened,” I said.

Rediscovering History

Hellblazer of Equestria:

The trials of John Constantine

A Hellblazer and MLP crossover

Chapter 3 Rediscovering History

I closed my eyes and instantly missed my hands.  I needed a Silk Cut so bad I could barely stand it.  It was as if there was some kind of childish torture that I could feel the weight of the pack, feel the weight of my lighter full of hellfire, and not able to really grab either of them.  I let out a frustrated grunt which one of the mares took as directed toward her.

“I’m still waiting for you to explain this!” she shouted.

I looked at her.  If I closed my eyes it was almost like hearing Epiphany before we married.  It was hearing her scream at me for being an idiot and not seeing what was right in front of me.  I couldn’t close my eyes, because I couldn’t let myself go there.  I needed to be focused, and I bloody well needed to fix this.

“She wanted to see me exorcise that bloody demon out of that wo… out of that mare!  She wanted to see how it was done, and her eyes were opened.  She can see things that you can’t,” I explained.

“What are you talking about?!  What can she see that’s making her act so crazy?!” she shouted.

I shook my head and walked to Twilight.  There was a chance to fix it.  A single chance, something I had done with Kat to protect her from the vision.  Something she wore every day because it was easier not seeing than seeing.  I needed something she could wear over her head.  Something that would touch her, and that she could wear whenever she wanted to wear it.  If I was back in Manchester I could get a cheap crucifix from the shop, but I wasn’t.

Besides, the crucifix would be pointless.  The entire reason it works is because people see it as a symbol of their faith.  They’re able to focus on it.  That’s why it takes down some of the more physical beasties from the other side.

“I’m not done talking to you!” she said as she shoved into me.

“I’m trying to fix it!  Bloody hell woman will you let me work for two seconds Pippy?!  Two seconds luv and I swear I’ll listen to anything you say!” I shouted.

“Who the hay is Pippy?” she asked.

“Oh bollocks,” I said before I lowered my head.

“What’s going on?  Who are you, what happened to Twilight, and what are you trying to fix?” she asked.

“I’m trying to fix it so that she doesn’t have to see it.  I need something that she has faith in,” I said.

The blank expression on her face spoke volumes.

“What does she believe in?” I asked.

“Friendship.  That’s what we all believe in,” she answered.

“So, what can she wear that’s a symbol for friendship?  Something that can go around her neck would be best,” I said.

She looked at me confused for a moment before she lifted a cord with some brightly colored rocks on it.

“It’s a special rock candy necklace.  Pinkie showed us how to make them, and only the best of friends give them to each other,” she said.

I looked at it and held out my hoof. She put it on it only for it to fall off.

“Why aren’t you holding it?” she asked.

“How?  It’s a bloody hoof!  How do you hold something with a bloody hoof?!” I seethed.

“Think about holding it plothole,” she said shoving it back at me.

I thought about holding it, and it stayed in place.  Good, now if this was something she had faith in then this would work.  I started toward where she was sitting.  She was sitting at the table, her head buried in a book.  I’ve seen what she was doing before.  Kat, Zed, even Gemma had done the same thing.  Attempting to block out what they were seeing by ignoring it.  I touched her, and she flinched.

“Twilight, do you want me to help?” I asked.

She lifted her head.  Dark trails were carved down her lavender fur from the tears.  I wasn’t sure how long she had been crying, but I could tell that it bad been more than just a few moments.  I lifted my hoof, and showed her the necklace.  A bit of confusion crossed her face.  I focused on the necklace, allowing some of essence to spread over to it.

Enough to power it, enough to capture the faith she had in the symbol, and all that was left was to seal it.  I lifted it over her head, slipped it on, and then leaned forward.  I closed my eyes as our lips connected.

We had to connect, our souls had to go into the aether together at the same time, and that meant briefly finding death.  Typically a good shag would be the easiest way of getting there, but from the way things felt, from what I sensed about her the Princess still had a part of her innocence left.

I may be a bastard, but I’m not a fucking bastard.  Her first time wouldn’t be ritualistic sex.  Instead I felt for her energy, for her soul, and once I felt it I connected to it.  Diving into the aether without the assistance of an orgasm was far more difficult, but not impossible.  I had to pull our souls loose from our bodies.

I felt the first tug, the call, the need, and then another.  Moment after bloody moment I pulled until I saw the ethereal light surrounding us.  That’s when I heard the gasp.

“What happened?” she asked.

“We’re in the aether,” I said.

“Wait, didn’t you say that insanity flowed through here?” she asked.

I could see her starting to panic.  It wouldn’t help if she noticed her form either.  Since I brought her here, since I formed the bond, she took a form suiting to me.  The both of us had become human, or at least our souls appeared as humans.

“Twilight, I need you to calm down.  Right now we’re safe.  Insanity does travel through the aether, but it does it around negative energy.  There’s nothing negative here.  We’re fine,” I said.

“Okay…  Did… did you kiss me before?” she asked.

I nodded.

“We needed to connect together, and I’ve done this before,” I said.

She looked at me for a moment before she reached out toward me.  Her hand stopped and she looked at it.  I watched her eyes widened with wonder.

“What?” she began.

“You’ve taken the form my soul is most comfortable with luv.  This is what I looked like before I came here,” I said.

She looked at the differences between us.  I was clothed, she was not.  It was hard not to look at her.  She had youth, innocence, and beauty on her side.  According to what that git Star Swirl said in his book she would always have beauty on her side.  She didn’t grasp modesty, and for once I didn’t want to act like a right bastard around a beautiful girl.  I pulled off my Trench Coat and draped it on her shoulders, helping her arms through, and buttoning it up.

“What are you going to do?” she asked.

“I have to seal the amulet I’m making for you.  Twilight, do you trust me?” I asked.

I felt like a sod and a tosser.  I was going to do something to help her, and at the same time it was going to chisel away at her innocence.  I looked in her eyes, waiting for her response.  She nodded, stepped forward, and I pulled her against me.

“I’m sorry that your first time experiencing this has to be because I was too much of a right bastard to stop you from seeing something you weren’t ready for,” I said.

Our souls glowed, and I heard a soft moan come from her.  It passed into her, through her, swirled around her, and the moan built up.  She began writhing in pleasure.  Her physical innocence was protected, but I was stealing her spiritual one.  This was something that should have happened with someone would care about.  It was something that should have happened with the man she wanted to be with for the rest of his life.  It shouldn’t happen with someone like me. She cried out, her face burying into my shoulder.  And then the glow began to lessen.  Her amulet was sealed, and I had stolen something from her she would never get back.

All magic has a price.  Every bit of it does.  There is always a sacrifice that has to be made.  Maybe it’s a bit of your humanity, or something more tangible can be used.  But when it comes to making something that protects your sanity, that shields your mind.  It needs to be something else.  It needs the energy of two souls sharing the most intimate moment they can.  She held on to me as I felt for our bodies.  I felt the connections, and pulled.  I felt us drifting down, moving slowly, taking hours for the connection to set.

And then my eyes opened.  I leaned back, breaking the kiss, and Twilight’s eyes flittered open.  She looked around, and I looked at her necklace.  It glowed, a dark purple.  It was a mixture of her more pure soul, and my tainted one.  I heard another voice, and it became more pronounced as everything became more real.

“What happened?”

I turned to face her.  Twilight had said her name was Rainbow something, but the mistake had been made.  I had already called her by Epiphany’s pet name.  There was no way I could completely stop calling her by it.  From this point on, in the back of my mind, I would want to call her Pippy.  It was going to be something that stayed there.  I breathed out and studied her.

“I helped her,” I said.

“They’re gone,” Twilight said.

“No luv, they’re not.  You can’t see them right now, but they’re still there,” I said.

“How could you help her?  All you did was kiss her for a second,” Rainbow said.

“It was only a second?  It felt like hours,” Twilight said.

I smiled and nodded.

“That’s the aether.  Time doesn’t exist there.  A thousand years can pass in the span of a second, or a single moment can last over a year.  It depends on what part of the aether you enter into,” I replied.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxTwilight’s POV

Sweet Celestia what happened?  I can’t stop looking at him, listening to him explain what happened, and I feel myself blushing.  I need to stop doing that.  It wasn’t here, but then again it felt so real.  I…  I’ve heard Rarity and Fluttershy talk about how it feels.  They talked about the warmth and love spreading out over them, and the way it felt like there was something else there connecting them.

I knew what it was now, and… he was so sweet.  I want to feel it with him again.  I want to be his special somepony.  I want to feel all of that, and I wanted it so bad that I almost didn’t hear Spike.  I turn to see him walking toward me with a letter.

“Twilight, Princess Celestia said that she’s coming.  She’ll be here as soon as possible.  She wants to hear about what you saw, and about him,” Spike said pointing to John.

“Guess it’s time to break out the tea and crumpets,” he said.

“Tea and what?” Spike asked.

“It’s not important.  Spike, I need you tell me when Princess Celestia gets here,” I said.

How can I explain this?  How can I explain what I saw, what happened, and how do I explain John?  I tried to breathe.  Celestia is understanding, and I know that she’s seen so many strange things in her life time.  Still, this is unlike anything I’ve ever read about before.  Sombra was the closest thing to what I saw in the hospital, but what he was and what that thing was is as different as night and day.

If she’s flying here it could take a while for her to arrive.  After all she would have the guards, get her royal regalia together, arrange for a carriage…

“Twilight, I see her carriage coming near Ponyville!” Spike shouted from his new favorite lookout.

“Or she could have just sent the letter, and decided to come immediately,” I thought.

I readied myself, looked back at John, and instantly I felt the blush return to my cheeks.  I needed to have a clear head for this, but after what happened.

“Twi, you’re having a little issue with your wings,” Rainbow Dash said.

I blushed furiously and forced them back down.  Now was not the time.  I didn’t need to think about that.  I waited for a moment before I walked toward the door and opened it.  Celestia walked inside, followed by her guards, whom she ordered to go outside and wait, before she smiled at me.

“Twilight, your letter caused me to have some great concerns,” she said.

I nodded and cleared my throat.

“Princess…  I saw something.  It was something that I can’t fully explain, but it wasn’t really part of our world,” I said.

“I can tell you what it was,” John said.

“I assume you are the new pony Twilight has written to me about.  She has said that your origins are… interesting,” Celestia said.

“Everything about me is interesting luv.  Here, this card should help with the introductions,” he said.

I turned to see him stick his hoof into that oversized coat of his and pull out a card.  He then pulled out a small flimsy pack and what looked like a lighter.  He hoofed the card over to Celestia, and I watched as she looked at it, and then at him.

“John Constantine, Exorcist, Occultist, and Master of the Dark Arts…  I do hope that this card is a joke Mr. Constantine.  Black magic is punishable, and it carries a very sever sentence,” she said.

“Black magic and the Dark Arts are two different things.  Dark Arts implies that I know about Black Magic, but it doesn’t mean that I use it.  Besides, if it wasn’t for me one of your subjects would still be the host to a demon,” he said.

I watched as Celestia’s eyes narrowed.  She pointed her hoof at him, and then at a spot in front of her.

“I want to know about this.  Tell me everything right now,” she demanded.

I had never heard her sound so cross toward somepony who wasn’t an enemy before.

“I informed Twilight about my abilities with the supernatural, and how I could remove certain types of insanity.  She asked me to look at a mare in the hospital, and what was going on was the poor mare was the host to a demon.  Now, I’ve had a moment to look at some of the books you have on magic, and with the exception of this git Star Swirl no one really mentions anything close to that demon.  I understand that his books were written well over a thousand years ago.  So, how is it that a mare gets possessed by a demon when there hasn’t been a documented case of it in order a thousand years?” he asked.

“I do not like your tone,” Celestia replied.

“Princess, it was just a happenstance right?  I mean an accident right?” I asked.

“She said that her employer told her to go into a locked room in an old part of the castle at Canterlot.  A room that was rumored to have been locked by Star Swirl, and had runes similar to this around the outside of it,” he said as he held out a piece of paper to her, “Those ruins are different than I’m used to seeing, but I can tell, by the way they’re arranged, that it was meant as a barrier ward.  He locked something dangerous away in there didn’t he?”

“We had to know.  Twilight, we needed to know what it was that Star Swirl had been working on.  He…  He was so secretive about things, and I remembered that one of the things he worked on after I banished…  After Nightmare Moon, was a spell that would allow me to monitor everypony.  He wanted to make sure that no one else fell to something like Luna did ever again,” Celestia said.

“So, you bloody well sent her in knowing that it could be something waiting to get her.  You let her go in blindly!” he shouted at her.

“Silence!  I made a decision to protect my little ponies, and one that I would make again to ensure their safety!” she shouted back at him.

“Fucking Gabriel all over again.  Thinking that you’re above everyone else, and you use the excuse of wanting to help us as the reason to whatever you want.  So, sending in an innocent woman, er mare is perfectly fine!  Better to risk one soul right?” he asked.

“You are trotting on very thin ice Mr. Constantine.  I wanted to protect my subjects, and I will do what needs to be done in order to protect them.  I regret that Ruby was, hurt, but it just meant that the room needed to remain sealed,” she said.

“And you sealed it back the way he did right?  Good, with just one problem luv.  You let them into your world.  You opened the door, invited them in, and now they’re here.  They’re here, and they’re going to enjoy being here.  At least that git Star Swirl had the foresite to keep them located to a single place.  I don’t know what he did to do it, but he had the understanding that they had to be in a single, lockable, place.  Now, these things are out, and none of your ponies know how to defend themselves.  They don’t know because they’ve faced this before,” he said.

“Celestia, he did save her.  He pulled that thing out and banished it,” I said.

She looked to me, and then back to him.  I could see the way she studied us that she was noticing something.

“What happened?” she asked.

“I… I saw.  I saw it, and then I saw even more.  There’s so much that we don’t see every day,” I replied.

Her eyes softened, and then she pulled me under her wing.  I felt the warmth in the hug.

“I didn’t mean for you to see this yet.  I’ve kept it from Luna and Cadence as well.  It’s something that is very hard to deal with,” she said.

“What… can you see them?” I asked.

“Twilight, I try to help them cross over.  There are many who simply are not ready, but I try to help them as much as I can,” she replied.

Whispers

Hellblazer of Equestria:

The trials of John Constantine

A Hellblazer and MLP crossover

Chapter 4 Whispers

She left, but not before letting me know that I would be watched.  It’s not the first time I was informed by a near deity that they didn’t like me.  I didn’t have to make this my business.  I could stay out of it, let whatever she had unknowing released cause strife, and keep myself out of it.  I could do that, but once look at Twilight told me that she wouldn’t.

“Okay, what the hay were you talking about?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Demons, spiritual beings that love to cause strife, pain, and misery.  Them and lost souls were what we were talking about,” I replied.

She looked at me and shook her head.

“Wait, how can something like that exist?” she asked.

“Rainbow Dash, I don’t know how to explain it, but they exist.  I know what I saw.  That thing was staying inside of Scr… inside of Ruby.  It had taken her over,” Twilight replied.

“It wasn’t just taking her over.  It was feeding off of her misery.  It loved every perverse thing it could make her do, and it was showing it to her.  Anything she had done that would have caused her torment was what the demon was forcing her to do,” I said.

“It listened to you once you called it by its name.  How does that work?” Twilight asked.

“It’s part of the rules the supernatural.  If you know something’s name you have power over it.  The deeper of a connection it has to the Nether realm or the aether the more control you’ll have, but that’s also the problem.  Their names aren’t just normal names.  It’s entire titles.  If you simply stop at what one of them calls itself then you don’t have true power over it,” I said.

“That’s a bunch of horseapples.  There’s plenty of ponies that know my name, and none of them have any power over me.  I’m my own mare,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Rainbow Dash,” I said.

She looked at me.  Her explanation stopped, her movement stopped, and she simply looked at me.

“Notice how you’re attention turned to me?  Did you also notice how everything else just stopped when someone used your name.  Because of free will, and because you’re not a creature of the aether, or the nether realms, that’s the limit of the power a normal pony has over you.  They can make you stop and take notice of them.  Give that information to a demon, and they can use it to make you take notice of them long enough to whisper in your ear.  That’s something you don’t want,” I replied.

“Twilight you’re seriously not buying this right?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Rainbow Dash, you weren’t there.  You didn’t see that thing, and you didn’t see what I saw afterward either,” Twilight replied.

“What?  What did you see?” she asked.

“I’m not sure how to explain it.  It was something that shouldn’t have existed here.  It looked… dead, and it had three sets of horns.  Its eyes were lifeless, and that voice.  I’ll never forget that voice,” she said.

Rainbow Dash looked at her and then made her way toward her.  She looked at her for a moment and then sat down in front of her.

“Are you sure that’s what you saw?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I wouldn’t make something like that up.  I’m still trying to understand exactly what it was that I saw,” she said.

Rainbow Dash then turned toward me.

“You said that those things are here now, so what can we do about them?” she asked.

“Don’t listen to them.  They want to break all of you down.  They need you at your weakest, and when you are they’re going to climb inside and do to you what they did to that poor mare.  They work hard to break apart friendships, destroy trust, and ensure that there’s no one who will be around to help you,” I replied.

I was a little surprised that she took Twilight’s word so easily.  It was rare to have a mate like that.  Chaz had been that.  He was a true mate.  He was the kind of bloke that would drop everything to help, and that would take your word.  He was loyal, very loyal to his friends, and perhaps that was what Rainbow was.  She was a true mate, and if she was anything like Chaz she would follow Twilight straight to the very gates of hell.

“John, could they already be here?  I mean I saw those… I saw all of those other ponies out there, but could more of those things that we saw in the hospital be here?” Twilight asked.

“Luv, I don’t doubt that they’ve been here since the door’s been opened.  Everyone here is an easy target.  None of you know what it is that you’re going to be facing.  These things haven’t been able to enter your world in over a thousand years, and I would imagine that they are hungry,” I replied.

“What, they feed off of bad emotions?” Rainbow asked.

“It gives them strength, adds to their power, the more miserable someone is the better they like it, but what they only feed off that misery until they are able to collect and feed off of their souls, and they collect the soul when it’s been completely tainted.  That mare was near collecting,” I said.

That was something I knew all too well.  I’d seen men and women fall victim to these devils before.  Sorry sods that had either willingly sold themselves, or had unknowingly let themselves become open to the demonic forces.  All of this happened in a world that knew, on some level, about the dangers present in the unseen.  Here there wasn’t any restrictions.  No one knew about them, or at least on really knew about them anymore.  Star Swirl had obviously known enough to limit their access to a single room, and then he locked it off with a set of runes.

“What did you mean about the door was open?” Rainbow asked.

“Star Swirl’s book, and what that mare had told me, made me understand that Star Swirl had found a way of limiting where they could enter from.  He had limited it to a room that he surrounded the entry point with runes.  They couldn’t leave the room until a willing host entered.  The moment she walked into the room they went to work on her.  She fell victim to them, and now without that restriction they are free to enter where ever they please,” I replied.

“Then the answer’s simple!  We can just find out what it was that Star Swirl did and copy it!  If he was able to trap them then we should be able to!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Luv, whatever it was that Star Swirl did, whatever it was, they fell for it once.  I don’t know if they will fall for it again,” I said.

“What makes you think that he tricked them?” Rainbow asked.

“It was too perfect.  The way it was done was too perfect.  There was something he had, or did that they must have wanted badly, and it was enough, more than enough, for them to direct all of their attention in one place.  On top of that I’ve closed entry points before, and it takes more than one to do it.  There is a certain ritual to closing them usually, so he had to have someone helping him,” I replied.

“I bet it was Clover the Clever. She was supposed to be his assistant!” Twilight said excitedly, “I bet that he figured out what spell to use, and then told her the part he needed her to play in it!”

The answer came to me and I began to laugh.  It changed from a simple laugh to a more hysterical one.  The answer of how he was able to do it was far more present.  He had to collect enough power to close the entry points, and he needed someone at those points.  But the problem would be power.  Closing an entire world’s worth of entry points would take more enough than a single life had.  He would need to collect power straight from the aether, and he would need to channel it through a physical act.  He and his assistant must have shagged like there was no tomorrow.

“What is it?  John?  What’s wrong?” Twilight asked.

“He shagged his assistant.  That’s how he was able to get the power to close everywhere, but that one room off,” I said.

“What?!”

The way she asked was as if I had just destroyed the perfect image of someone she had some hero worship over.  The more I read over this git the more I realized that he had power, but he was smart about it.  He didn’t just rely on his magic.  He also included rituals, ceremonies, and anything else that would give him an edge.  The bastard sounded a bit like me.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxPinkie Pie’s POV

Wow!  My Pinkie sense is going super crazy!  I feel a leg tremble, ear flop, eye blink, chatty teeth, itchy nose, and sprungy hair.  You know Sprungy… It’s kind of like Springy only it’s already done it’s springing so it’s more like it’s sprung, but sort of wanting to be spring, so Sprungy!  I’ve felt this all morning, and it’s weird.  I’ve never had this sense before.  There’s a soft cry and I pick up little Strawberry.  Strawberry Maud Pie, my little rock kicker.  She looks so much like her daddy.

“What’s wrong Strawberry?  Do I need to break out the flour?” I ask.

She blinks at me and then coos as I hold her.  She’s such a sweet little filly.  Ooooooo…  itchy rump!  Itchy rump is added to it!  Okay, I’ve got to go see Twilight, I know!  I can sneak in through the basement!  I love doing that!

“Cheese, do you mind watching Strawberry for a while?” I asked.

“Of course not.  Who’s daddy’s little prankster?” he said as he took her.

I handed her off to him and started to walk toward Twilight’s castle.  The first thing I noticed was that there wasn’t any guards there today.  That’s kind of sad since I like trying to sneak in around them.  It’s always fun to watch them get so flustered when they don’t know it’s me.  Oh well, it’s still going to be fun to sneak up on Twilight!

A few seconds pass by and I’m Twilight’s little lab she has set up down here.  Wow…  I’ve never seen that box before.  Ewww…  It’s all black.  Why would Twilight have a black box?  Ooooo… I wonder if it has something inside of it.  Just a peek won’t hurt.

“Open it,”

“Who said that?” I ask.

“You want to see don’t you?”

“Who’s there?”

“Open the box.  It’ll be fun,”

“I like fun, but who’s there?”

“Why Pinkie it’s me, Madam Le Flour!  Ze box, she is a secret, and friends share secrets right?”

“I suppose,” I say.

I lift the lid and inside there’s a dark red cupcake that looks so good…  It looks so delicious…  Maybe just a bite.

The Endless

Hellblazer of Equestria:

The trials of John Constantine

A Hellblazer and MLP crossover

Chapter 5 The Endless

I had no sooner turned from Twilight when an ear piercing scream ripped through the entire crystal monstrosity we were in.  I knew the direction it was coming from.  I had followed her down into that lab, and I saw her place that bloody cupcake into that sealed box.  Without wasting a second we ran toward the door, heading down into the room when the door busted open.  Standing there was something beyond odd.  It looked like one of the ponies I had seen before, but it appeared that everything was changing about it.  For a moment it had wings, then it had none, it had a horn, and then it didn’t.  The one thing that I did recognize, that stayed constant was a blue eye.

I stepped toward it and it lifted a small bipedial figure.  The creature was green, had razor sharp teeth in a mouth far too large for its head.  It had a mop of stringy fire red hair, and a long bifurcated tail.  It lashed the tail defiantly at its captor who simply held it in a hoof.

“HOW?!  HOW COULD YOU SEE ME?!” It screamed.

Rainbow Dash walked forward and looked at the creature.  She saw how small it was and began to laugh.

“That’s what we’re supposed to be afraid of?!  HA!” she said.

“That’s good Dashie, giggle at the ghosties,” an over and under tone set of voices said.

I studied her, knowing that I had heard the voice before, but it had been an exceptionally long time.  It had been back when I had dealt with Destiny and Death.  The demon in her grasp tried to escape before it let out a horrific growl and tried to grow larger.  Rainbow Dash backed away from it as it grew to the size of the small dragon named Spike.  The mare holding it simply pushed in on it making it groan and shrink back down.

She looked at me and her face became a frown.

“There is another voice I hear.  It’s distant, and it says that you have been a bad pony.  It tells me that you tricked a young mare, more of a filly really, into giving herself to you, and leaving behind the one that had been her special somepony.  That’s an awful thing to do,” she said.

“You ate the bloody cupcake didn’t you?  Shade you daft bastard, you miserable sod, you had to leave those memories in your madness didn’t you?” I asked.

“The voice also says that you know how to send these back,” she said.

I drew a circle, letting her drop it into it, and then connected it with my blood.  The demon screamed as it grew to an impossible size only to find that it couldn’t escape.  It then shrunk back down and looked at me.

“My mistress has already spoken of you.  She swore at you even as her father tore the flesh from her bones.  She has ordered more than me to seek out your destruction.  We shall watch you burn little unicorn,” it said.

“Not bloody likely.  So, Rosacarnis has sent a lowly soldier demon to seek out revenge.  I didn’t think that she was daft, but then again she isn’t is she?” I asked.

“HA!  If you think that I shall reveal anything to you then are a bigger fool than I thought!” it laughed.

“Tell me, what do you think would happen to an entity like you if it was suddenly forgiven and allowed to enter into paradise?  A demon in a roomful of angels, and mate, I’d love to be the fly on that wall,” I replied.

“You lie!  We cannot be forgiven!  We are created to be the damned!” it hissed.

“I CALL UPON THE GREAT ARCHANGEL RAPHAEL, MASTER OF AIR, TO OPEN THE WAY FOR THIS TO BE DONE. LET THE FIRE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT NOW DESCEND THAT THIS BEING MIGHT BE AWAKENED TO THE WORLD BEYOND AND THE LIFE OF EARTH, AND INFUSED WITH THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT,” I said in the loudest voice possible.

The demon shook, its face faltering, its eyes showing repressed fear, and finally it screamed.

“Don’t!  Don’t do it!” it cried out.

“What is your mistress’ plan?” I asked.

“I don’t know everything.  I only know that I was to begin breaking apart the bonds of friendship.  I had every intention of making her do terrible things, but… something else was there.  Something more powerful than I am,” it said.

I studied the demon, and I knew it was a soldier demon.  It would be easy to defeat on its own, but knowing who sent it was as good as knew its name.

“In the very name of your mistress, in the name of Rosacarnis, seductress, duchess, and second in command of the realm of lust I command you to return to your world of filth.  Return with this message mate.  I’ve faced the first, second, and third of the fallen and beaten them.  If she thinks that she can take me, then mate, she’s going to have to stop wanking off,” I said.

It howled in apparent pain as flames covered it.  Soon there was nothing but ash left of it, and I broke the circle.  Once I did I turned to look at the newest addition to the room.  She stood there, seemingly content to watch me work.  Once it was over she smiled, walked forward, and yawned.

“Pinkie?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I am Pinkie, and Pinkie is me, but Pinkie is also Pinkie,” she said.

“You’re an endless, an ancient right?” I asked.

Her attention turned to me.  The smile she had was far too wide to be natural.  She neared me and then her smile became a scowl.  She looked up and down me for a second.

“The other voice, this Shade, he doesn’t like you very much,” she said.

“I know luv, and I know I did some things to earn that ire, but Shade is a nutter.  What he’s holding against me was done fifteen years ago.  Besides, he might not understand it, but Patricia wasn’t meant to exist in the aether.  Being there was breaking down her physical body.  She was dying, and he was killing her.  As it was she only lived another year once I brought her out,” I replied.

“Who are you?” Twilight asked.

I watched as she turned toward her.  The entire time she had wings appearing and disappearing, a horn appearing and disappearing. Her very shadow seemed to be a physical thing that was being dragged along like a bit of cloth.  It snagged once nearly causing her to trip before she pulled it closer to her.

“I am your friend, your inspiration, your sanity, and your insanity.  I love, live, exist, and thrive on laughter, but the laughter that brings me the greatest joy is that of friends.  I am that which I am,” she said.

“Maniae, or Delirium right?” I asked.

“I am known as Maniae here,” she answered without looking at me.

“What happened to Pinkie?!” Rainbow Dash asked as she rushed her.

“She was tempted…  Talking like this… It hurts…” she said collecting herself.

Twilight looked at me and I let out a breath.

“Where I’m from Delirium is an endless.  She’s basically hysterical laughter, and insane thought all rolled into one.  I’ve never had the chance to meet her, but Death and Destiny spoke of her pretty often.  They said that she always seemed to be smarter than she let on, and that being sane was painful for her,” I replied.

“It hurts, but you are my friend Dashie.  You are Pinkie’s friend, and that makes you my friend.  Pinkie is still here.  She is unlike the other lives I’ve lived… She exists inside of me, and she is scared.  That thing tempted her…  made her eat the cupcake…  she…  broke…” Maniae strugged to say.

A moment later a balloon floated past and her eyes darted to it.

“Something floaty!” she exclaimed as she bounced after it.

“Well, that should help her relax a little.  It could be that I showed up just in time.  After all, when I felt that presence I just couldn’t stay away,” a disembodied voice said.

“Who in the bloody hell are you?” I asked the air.

“Dipcord, what are you doing here?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Why Rainbow Dash, I’m surprised at you.  A friend decides to stop by and offer up a little help, and you snap at him.  Somepony might think that you simply didn’t want any help,” the voice said as the owner became solid.

I’ve seen things.  I’ve seen demons straight from hell, I’ve faced vampires, hell I helped Dr. Alan Holland keep his humanity, or memory of it, when he became Swamp Thing.  I had never seen a hodgepodge being like this before.  His entire body was a collection of different beings.  I studied him and drew a blank.

“Ah, I see that I’ve stunned yet another pony, but then again, you’re not really a pony are you?  Well, not one of ours anyway.  No, you’re more of a visitor from another existence.  I felt you coming in, but at the moment I was a little busy.  Fluttershy may not seem like it, but she is quite demanding when it comes to her cuddles,” he said.

“Flutter who?” I asked.

“Oh, Dear me I see that Princess Twilight has left out a few things hasn’t she?  Well, I am Discord, god of Chaos, but I’m not giving you the rest of my title.  You know the rule, and I don’t like doing anything anyone says,” he replied.

“How do you know Maniea?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, it’s because she’s one of the endless.  There were eight of us at one time.  I didn’t like being restricted to watching the world.  After all, I wanted to be in the middle of it.  So, the eight became seven.  Well more or less.  I could reclaim my power and become an Endless again if I wanted to,” Discord said.

“What do you mean reclaim your power?  You’re as powerful as Celestia!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Before I stepped down I abilities that even an immortal mind can’t begin to understand, but it was so boring there!  It wasn’t like it was here.  Here there’s always something to do,” he said.

“So Pinkie is an endless?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“No, Pinkie is a pony.  Maniea is an Endless.  Maniea has lived in the Pie family for generations.  She’s influenced the birth of several of the more notable members of that family.  Surprise was one of my favorites.  She was a bubbly Pegasus that loved pulling pranks, and gave bone crushing hugs,” Discord said.

“She said that Pinkie is different,” Twilight said.

“She is.  Pinkie has a Destiny, a fate, and she has done part of it.  She became the emblem of her element, but to have a destiny one must have a soul.  The other ponies she’s been have merely been reflections of herself.  Pinkie has been something special.  She’s her own mare, and while she is quite a bit like Maniea she has free will.  That was something even Surprise didn’t have,” Discord said.

“Does Princess Celestia know about this?” Twilight asked.

“I don’t know…  I mean she would surely tell you everything she knew right?” Discord asked.

“You were an Endless?” I asked.

“Yes,” Discord replied.

“And you gave it up so that you could live in the mortal realm?” I asked.

“Don’t act so surprised.  Being there, in that realm, is boring.  It’s the same thing over and over again.  Oversee all of pony kind.  Ensure that they are doing what they must to survive, and make sure that the scales are always balanced.  It’s the same thing every day, but here, here it’s different.  Here I get to have all of the fun I want,” he said.

“Why is Maniea here?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“She wanted to see what it was like to be a mortal.  She’s enjoyed it so much that she’s allowed herself to be reborn over and over again, and she loves being a pie,” Discord said.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxFluttershy’s POV

The moment Discord left it became so quiet.  It’s not that I don’t usually like the peace and quiet, but I’ve come to enjoy having my house, well our house, being a little more lively.  I felt a kick and gently touched my swollen belly.  The doctor wasn’t sure what to expect, but I know no matter what our baby looks like she, I hope it’s a filly, will be beautiful.  I moved to the edge of the bed, stepped out of it, and moved into the living room.

“He cares more about having fun,”

“Who’s there?” I asked.

“He wants to visit Twilight.  It’s because she’ll live forever just like he will.  What makes you think that he wants to have somepony that will die?”

“Please, show yourself, if you don’t mind,” I said.

“Oh, element of kindness you are so sweet and precious.  Your little heart is so full of love, and it disgusts us!”

“Who’s there?!” I cried.

I heard something moving and watched as Angel ran in front of me.  He looked scared, and I looked around.  Whatever had bothered Angel must be exceptionally scary.  Angel’s barely had the energy to get out of bed, and here he was trying to stay near me.  I walked toward the door and tried to open it.

“It’s scary out there.  The entire world is full of ponies you don’t know, and they are all looking at you, judging you, laughing at you,”

“No!” I screamed as I opened my door and ran outside.

Angel followed me and I scooped him up into my forelegs.  I couldn’t stay here.  I don’t know what it was that talking to me, but I needed to get away from it.  I flew toward town, and headed straight toward the castle.  Once there I made it inside and found Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, and somepony I didn’t know.  I looked at Discord, and without a second thought he moved toward me.

“Fluttershy what’s wrong?” he asked.

“There was something… I don’t know it was, but it talked to me.  It said some terrible things, and I had to get away from it,” I said.

He narrowed his eyes and snapped his fingers.  A pair of strange red and blue glasses appeared and he put them on.

“Well, I haven’t seen any of you in well over a thousand years,” he said.

The room felt lighter within seconds.  I looked at him as I took a seat and he extended a claw to me.

“I’m glad that you came here,” he said.

“What was it?” I asked.

“Something that will never bother you as long as I am able to keep them from it,” he said.

“You have to obey certain rules mate.  There’s not any getting around that,” the pony I didn’t know said.

“No I don’t.  That’s why I did what I did,” he replied.

I didn’t know what he was talking about, but right now I didn’t care.  I was safe, and I was with my friends and my husband.  There wasn’t any reason to fear anything right now.  I settled down and felt another kick.  I saw Discord’s eyes widen as he felt it.  I felt his hand staying in place in the attempt to feel the same thing again.  A smile crossed my face as the sense of wonder filled his.

“We should go check on Applejack and Rarity,” Twilight said.

“Why?  What’s going on?” I asked.

“Something that wants its meal to be easy luv, and that means taking out anything that can stand in its way,” the pony I didn’t know said.

“Is one of these things going to be bothering all of us?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I think so.  I think that they’re setting their sights on us first,” Twilight said.

I heard a scream, a long horrible scream, and it was somewhere outside.  All of us moved outside of the castle and followed the sound until we stood outside of the Carousel Boutique.  The pony I didn’t know looked angry as he rushed the door and slammed into it.  It held, and I wondered why he didn’t just use magic.  Twilight instead ripped the door from its hinges and we went inside to see Thunderlane standing over Rarity.

Rarity’s face was swollen, it looked like she was bleeding, and it looked like he had been beating her for a while.  I couldn’t understand it.  Why?  Why would Thunderlane do this?  He loved Rarity!  He turned toward us and his eyes looked dead.

“Hello John, John hello,” a dark voice said.

“Get away from her you tosser!”

“I don’t know…  She didn’t seem to want to be loving toward her husband.  Perhaps finding my little punching bag upset her,” he said pointing toward the closet.

The door opened to reveal a severely beaten, and barely breathing Scootaloo, and I couldn’t help by squeak in fright.  I heard Rainbow Dash growl in anger before she rushed toward him.  I watched as she hit him and drove him into the wall.  I knew seeing Rarity had made her mad, but seeing Scootaloo like that had to pushed her even further.

“Get out of him!” she screamed.

“Gladly,” it said.

She stumbled back, shaking her head back and forth.  She fell to the ground groaning in pain.

“So ripe…  So much potential!  Oh, the things I’m going to do with your body,” the voice said from her.

“Get out of me!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

“Foolish little mortal, you have no idea of what I have in store for you.  The things that I will force you do, and all of them will make you regret the day you were born,” it said.

I watched to see the pony I didn’t know, the one that the weird voice had called John, drew a circle.  He spat a little blood on it and touched it with his hoof.  The thing screamed as it slammed into an invisible wall.

“Going to exorcise me John?  Good luck.  You don’t know my name, and I’ve been waiting for this day.  I’ve been waiting for the moment that I could take this little bit of strumpet and make her do the lecherous things that’s so forbidden,” the voice said.

I watched the pony I didn’t know as he dug something out of the loose fitting yellow trench coat he was wearing.  He held up several small bits that were long gold stems.  Each one of them fell down until the voice screamed.

“Okay mate, I know your name now.  Triskelle, wyrm queen of succubi, and bloody cocksucker I command thee by thy name,” he said.

“What is your desire John?  Do you wish to have this filly?  Is that it?  I know your tastes, I know your desires.  I can smell them.  She sounds so much like the who you ache for.  If you close you close your eyes I would imagine that it would even feel like her.  I can promise you that I can do things even the little strumpet you left behind wouldn’t even know,” she said.

I watched as she flicked her tail showing her filly bits. She put her head down, holding her back legs straight and presenting her rump to him. I could see her forehoof moving up, stroking that part of her, and coxing a soft moan from her.

“Take me John.  Take me and this body.  Let me free and I will be everything you ever wanted,” she cooed.

He stood there.  His entire body seemed stiff for a moment.

“I’m sorry Pippy,” he whispered before he looked up, “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus... hanc animam redintegra...  lustratus!  lustratus!” he shouted.

The voice screamed before it exited her.  What appeared looked so different.  It was a beautiful mare.  Her coat was jasmine, her eyes were solid purple, and there was a set of deer antlers on her head.  She leaned against the invisible wall.

“I would have made you so happy Johnny boy.  I can do things that most men only dream of,” she said.

“I’ve fucked a Succubus before, and trust me, none of you are anything special,” he said.

“I’ll swallow your soul little stallion!  I will make you regret rejecting me!” she screamed.

“Return to the pits of hell from which you came,” he said.

She burned, a fire spread across her, but she didn’t scream.  Instead her eyes narrowed at John until she was gone.  I watched as he rubbed out the barrier and Rainbow Dash stood up.  She looked around and then she looked at him.  She didn’t run, she didn’t hide, but instead she hugged him and cried.

“I know luv, it’ll be okay,” he whispered.

“What happened?  Rarity?  RARITY!” Thunderlane screamed as he ran to her.

“I didn’t mean it!  Oh Sweet Celestia I didn’t mean it!” he cried out as he held her.

Rearview Mirror, Mirror

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

The Sandmare Cometh

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Soft Spoken - Mini Chapter

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Blue Sunny Day

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Rebel Yell

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Epidemic

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Bonus Scenes

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Feel Like Makin' Love

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Fearful Visions

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Civil War

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Battle Lines

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

A Lover's Memory

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

The Only Way to Travel Mini Chapter

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

A Slight Glimpse at the Past 'Mini Chapter'

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.