A 'Villainous' Friend

by _Vidz_

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 12596

Deep within the woods somepony has been devising a plot to steal the energy of the Elements of Harmony for years, and he decides now is the time to put it into action. However, he will need the help of a certain energetic mare to achieve his goal.

Deep within the woods somepony has been isolated from society for years, his reason? To devise a plot to steal the energy of the Elements of Harmony. And now the time has come to put his plan into action. However, his isolation just might have been his downfall. Unfamiliar with the ways of society he must seek help in obtaining the information he needs. And he just so happens to come across one cheery energetic mare willing to lead him in the right direction. He feels he should keep her close by as she could become a valuable asset, but, that just might be another downfall on this unfortunate stallion's list.

Written and Cover Art by: _Vidz_
Co-Written and Concept by: Michael Zimmer

Published 2014-07-11 02:10:04 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-14 23:47:32 UTC

Chapter One

Chapter One

Insects are chirping and humming outside as frogs croak along with them. The winds blow through the trees violently as they wave and their branches twist with their leaves being torn away. A little wooden shack lies peacefully tucked away beneath the woods, its wood creaks as the wind that isn’t blocked by the trees presses against it. Inside a single candle rests atop an old rickety wooden table that was fashioned together by the hooves of a single stallion. The light partially reveals his dull gray coat, and his messy light brown mane that hangs over one of his eyes.

The wind that sneaks in through the cracks causes the little flame on the wick of the candle to dance, and the orange glow pulses over the stallion’s tired yet focused face. His hooves are carefully piecing together the metal links to form a chain, and fastening metal hooks into the round smooth stones he’s shaped over the course of time. Six of the clear orbs of stone wait to join the work of jewelry. With the feeling of determination rising in his heart and mind, he mumbles aloud to himself what he’s been keeping locked away in his thoughts for so long.

“This is tedious, but, it is almost finished. With this I will be able to capture the very essence of those Elements of Harmony. When I do, and oh, I will; those pesky mares that I’ve heard all about will be nothing more than powerless pets.”

The stallion finishes fastening the final jewel to the chain link necklace and holds it up the orange glow of the candle to get the entire view of his creation.

“These six jewels will serve as vessels to contain the vigor of their Elements. . .”

He wraps the necklace around his neck and links the two ends together. Blowing out the light of the candle the shadows flourish in his room, and he reaches over to grab his long dark cloak. He tosses it over his shoulder and ties the collar together, and after throwing the dark hood over his head he whispers aloud a few final words.

“And it will all be under my control.”

With a slam of his weak old wooden door the stallion sets out for the little town where he knows where the mares reside, Ponyville.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

He treks through the thick woods as the trees grasp onto the dark cloth of his cloak slowing him down and making it more tattered than it already is. After the long and tiresome walk he exhaustedly climbs up a hill as the tall surprisingly edgy blades of grass stab at his legs. Moths and butterflies are disturbed and fly out from their hiding spots beneath the grass, and as soon as he reaches the top, he is given a great view of the destination he has been searching for: the small village of Ponyville. From here he can see all the bright and cheerful townsponies trotting about and joining each other in conversation.

“Well, here we are. Now the only question remaining is, just where would I find one of these mares? Surely there must be some place one could begin looking.”

The stallion lowers his hood and holds his hoof below his horn and above his vibrant green eyes to shade them from the intense sunlight. He had never known how bright the sunlight was until now, as he has rarely left the shadows of the woods and the roof of his home. His eyes follow the joyful ponies as he notices they all seem to be gathering around one certain location. A building that’s roof is reminiscent of a ginger pastry lined and dotted with frosting. From the roof extend a tower that appears to be a cupcake with candles sticking up from the roof of its pink frosted top. He notices the two white poles on both sides of the entrance are striped with red to look like peppermint sweets.

“Hmm, it appears most of them are gathering at this one particular building. From the looks of it I’m supposing it’s some sort of sweetshop. I’m almost positive I’ll find some information there.”

The stallion gallops through the field of grass and flowers causing more insects and even a few wild hares to hop about and scatter. Afraid of being seen by the other ponies he stops and hugs the wall of the nearest cottage. He realizes that he hasn’t been around society in such a long time, and is unsure if he will be able to fit in with everypony else. He pulls in a deep breath and leaves the side of the cottage towards the shop. He finds other townsponies walking towards him on the dirt path, and he assures himself that he will do everything in his power to blend in and act natural. One of them is right in the center of his path, the pony stops directly in front of him, and he freezes nervously. He can feel the tension building up inside him, but in his head he continues to repeat to himself, ‘just keep calm’.

“That’s a funny coat you’re wearing Mister!” The little filly says pointing at his cloak.

The stallion is speechless, he can feel sweat riding down the back of his neck. He can’t remember the last time he’s felt such anxiety. His entire body and the muscles in his cheeks have stiffened, and his eyes refuse to blink from this nerve-wracking sight. He realizes he cannot just leave the conversation without an answer, others might grow suspicious of him. He needs to come up with something to say, anything at this point could lift this heavy weight off of his shoulders that keeps him nailed to the ground.

“. . . N-No umm . . . it isn’t?” He mutters.

“Oh! Well, okay! Goodbye Mister!”

The filly then smiles and hops past him continuing on her merry way. He breathes in as if the entire time he stood frozen like a statue he hadn’t taken in a single breath of air. He is in complete disbelief that he was able to complete the difficult task set before him. With a deep feeling of relief he proceeds onward to the shop with his head held high and shoulders cocked back.

“Good morning!” A lively stallion greets.

“Not really, thank you.” He says still strutting his way to the shop.

The other stallion halts confused by his response, but just continues on his way after just shrugging it off.

“Hello! Wonderful weather we’re having don’t you think?” Asks a bright mare about to pass him by.

“Yes! The climate is quite bearable.”

The mare slows down because of his odd response, but just like the previous stallion she merely leaves it be and continues on her way. Still holding himself up proudly he pushes open the pink double doors leading into the shop, and he is then hit by another harpoon of tension. The entire dining room is filled with other ponies conversing and laughing. Most of them are sitting at booths enjoying assorted candies and cakes along with some beverage. Others are lined up waiting for their turn at the main counter to place their order. The entire room is stuffed with the sweet smell of freshly baked pastries, but not even that can loosen up the joints of his legs to proceed further into the shop. The line in front of the counter begins to shorten until the rather tall yellow-coated stallion in a white baker’s uniform notices him standing right in the middle of the doorway.

“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner sir!” He shouts to him. “May I take your order?”

The stallion is then snapped from his stress-filled trance and understands that in order to proceed he must fight his fears and move further into the shop. He isn’t used to being around so many ponies, but he cannot let something as silly as this get in his way. He must toss away his fears, and proudly just as he did before to the counter. He shuts his eyes, takes his routine deep breath, holds it in, and forces himself to continue on. He feels as though he’s taking gigantic leaps of pride towards the counter as he prepares his words. The stallion behind the counter watches awkwardly as he uncomfortably, and slowly, shuffles towards his counter. He glances side to side as the seconds pass, and he still hasn’t made it to his counter which isn’t even that far from the front door. The stallion takes an agonizingly long time to finally reach the counter, and releases the air he locked in his lungs desperately trying to recover.

“Well then, what would you like today sir?”

The stallion’s eyes flash open as this question hits him like an arrow in the stomach. He has not the slightest idea on how to respond, instead he holds a long painful stare at the stallion who begins to grow uncomfortable. He soon comes up with an idea, and he blurts it out of his mouth the second it pops into his head.

“Nourishment.”

“Rrright, but uhh, just what exactly would you like?”

It’s a never-ending cycle of torment for the stallion, he can almost feel a heart-attack about to rupture inside his chest. His eyes bounce around the room crazily, but he focuses his attention near the top of the ceiling in the hopes of finding a menu of some sort. It soon hits him that there isn’t a single thing up above that can help carry him out of this situation. He feels lost and isolated, unsure of what to do he keeps his eyes fearfully fixed up above the stallion’s head almost in the hopes that something will come to him soon. The baker behind the counter raises his hoof up in the stallion’s line of sight, and points his hoof downward. The stallion’s eyes then jolt down, and he notices the glass casing that houses an assortment of cakes and jars of candies.

The cycle of torment continues as he is thrust into yet another situation. His heart his pounding furiously as he stares at all the different items behind the glass. He is unsure of what he should choose. The vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting, the chocolate cupcakes with vanilla frosting, the chocolate chip cookies and the peanut butter cookies, the pineapple upside down cake, the red velvet cake with white frosting. He cannot even comprehend just how many different cakes are being brought before his eyes. He is clueless, his blood is beginning to boil from the heat, and his legs are starting to tremble.

“. . . Might I recommend a slice of confetti cake topped with—?”

“Yes! . . . That . . . yes.” The stallion nearly shouts.

“Alright then!” He says relieved. “That’ll be five bits sir.”

The stallion then throws his hoof into the pocket of his cloak as soon as he hears the baker’s demand. If there was anything he knew to bring with him on this journey, it was bits. Over the years he’s been able to scavenge all the bits he could find that were either forgotten or discarded. He is relieved to find he has more than enough to pay, and finally slow down this train of agony. He sets the bits on the counter, and the baker puts them in the register till.

“Thank you! I’ll have that delivered to you shortly, go ahead and take a seat.” Says the baker.

The stallion’s heart can now rest for the time being. As he walks away from the counter he realizes that a line had actually formed behind him. He stares at them for merely a second until they all turn their heads towards him. Fearfully he whips back around to hide himself from their stares. He hurries over the nearest empty table that catches his eyes and sits himself down. Safe now in his own little space and own mind he begins to let his thoughts go free, and unintentionally, some of the words leave his lips.

“This is just madness. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep this up-oh what am I saying?! I’ve come too far to give up because of something so little. I can’t let this get to me. I just have to keep my composure.”

He tries to ignore all the faces and voices in the room to maybe try and overcome this feeling of claustrophobia, but his attempts are in vain as they seem to only cause more stress. He must focus on the task at hand and search out these six mares, but just how is he going find out their exact location? He has not the slightest clue on what they might look like, or what their names are. From what he’s heard he knows that one of them is named . . . Twilight. He can’t quite remember the second part of her name, but he can’t just walk up to a random stranger and ask them where the Elements of Harmony are, that would surely cause suspicion.

“Twilight . . . where would I even begin to look? She could be anywhere in this town.”

“Oohh! You’re looking for Twilight?!” A cheery voice says near his ear.

The stallion nearly jumps out of his seat to find that a brightly pink mare with a poufy mane and white apron has been standing right beside for what seems like the entire time he’s been thinking to himself. She stares at him with her big blue eyes and joyous smile as he trembles at the end of his seat.

“Just why do you need Twilight anyway? Are you a friend of hers?”

“Um, w-well I—”

“Buddies? Compadrés? Comrades?”

“Uh I . . . I—”

“Boy, does a cat got your tongue? Wait! I know exactly why you’re here. . .”

“Y-You do?”

` “That’s right! You think you’re sneaky and sly don’t you? Well I’ll have you know that I’ve got you all figured out!”

The stallion begins to cringe at her words, he can feel his defenses being smashed into pieces as her stare intensifies. He cowers in his seat just about to guard himself with his hooves from the sheer volume of her voice.

“You’re new in town and you’re trying to make some new friends?!”

“. . . W-What?”

“Yeah! I’ve never seen you around town before, and trust me I think I know just about everypony, but I’ve never seen you around. Twilight’s pretty much famous around these parts so it doesn’t surprise me that you’d want to meet her. I’ve got it! I could take you to meet her at her library! She’s got a ton of books that nopony really checks out. . . Anyway how does that sound?!”

“Um uh-great! Yes, that sounds um . . . ideal.”

“Oookay then! Say, you’re new in town and I haven’t even introduced myself yet. My name is Pinkie Pie! But my friends just call me Pinkie for short. What about you?”

“. . . M-Me?”

“Yeah what’s your name silly?!”

The stallion starts to dig around in his thoughts for he seems to be having trouble remembering even his own name while under such stress.

“D-D-Deviro . . . my name is Deviro.”

“Oooh! That’s a kooky name . . . I love it! It’s very dark and mysterious.”

He feels this mare really can read him like a book. Just the mention of those two words to describe his name pulls fear into him. He’s trying to understand if she really does know what his actual intentions are.

“Alrighty then! Here’s your cake by the way. I’ll meet up with you later!”

Pinkie sets his confetti cake down on the table along with a plate and fork before hopping away into the kitchen. All he can think about is how perfect this seems to be turning out. In a mere couple of seconds he now has what he needs to set his plan into motion. He feels this Pinkie Pie could be a valuable asset in finding the Elements he so desires. It’s best he try to keep her on his side, and everything should go smoothly.

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Deviro patiently waits in his seat for the pink pony by the name of Pinkie Pie to inform him of when she can lead him to the one called Twilight. He sits with his joints stiff and muscles tense as he can feel all the pairs of eyes glancing at him from their seats. He tries to keep his mind off of them by digging his fork into his slice of cake and forcefully swallowing it down. He sees Pinkie Pie approaching his table, and as soon as he feels that the time has finally come as he starts to get up from his seat she passes right by him.

“Just a couple more minutes! I need to go sweep up the floor in the back room!” She says cheerfully trotting to the back of the store.

Just a couple more minutes she says, and soon he will be out of this brightly colored prison. He accepts the fact that she just merely has one chore to do, and so he sits himself back down. What he thought was going to be just two minutes turns into what feels like an hour, and the only thing keeping him collected is the sweet aroma of the shop. Soon after, the pink mare hops out from the back room and once again towards his table. Getting himself ready to leave the mare again blissfully passes by his table.

“Just a little bit longer! Mr. Cake went on his break, so I just gotta take care of these last few customers!” She says hopping like a jackrabbit over the counter.

Deviro is first struck by her next thing to do, but he notices that the line is relatively short. He just keeps telling himself to be patient for just a few more moments, and soon it’ll all be over. He slinks back in his chair and watches Pinkie Pie take the orders of the ponies in line.

“Hello! What would you like to order today?!” Pinkie asks cheerfully.

“Could I have a dozen mini chocolate cupcakes to go?” Asks the mare in line.

“Sure thing!” Pinkie says as she sprints around into the kitchen and quickly retrieves the mare’s order. “Here you go!”

“Why thank you!”

Deviro is shocked at how quick she able to move to grab the pony’s order. He assumes that in no time at all this line will most definitely be diminished. Pinkie plows through the next few ponies’ orders as they range from donuts to mini cakes. As she goes down the line the shops begins to empty as the previous customers have finished their pastry treats and are leaving the store. Deviro begins to feel more relaxed and his muscles loosen with the lack of ponies around him. Pinkie is now about to take the order of the last customer, and he feels that now his wait is just about over.

“Good day! How can I help you today?!” Pinkie asks with a great big smile.

“Hello yes . . . I’d like a umm . . .” The stallion ordering then pauses in thought. “A three layer cake with chocolate ice cream cake at the bottom, vanilla and chocolate checkerboard cake in the middle as evenly checkered as possible and vanilla sponge cake on the top. Also. . .” Pinkie then draws a little notepad from behind her along with a pencil and begins to scribble on it as he continues his order. “I’d like vanilla frosting to separate the layers of cake, evenly spread of course, and if you could I’d like some fresh strawberries chopped up and sprinkled into the frosting. Also I’d like vanilla frosting to coat the outer layer of the cake and to spray something on it that will make it reflect like a mirror.”

Deviro’s eyes widen and jaw drops just by how long his order is, and the completely absurd amount of detail he needs fulfilled, as well as the odd request of wanting to see his reflection in the cake itself.

“And for the top of the cake . . .” The stallion painfully continues. “I’d like it to be covered with whipped cream and fruit on the top of the cream. The fruit should consist of watermelon pieces cut precisely like cubes with dimensions of two inches width and two inches height placed around the outermost edges as well as other random assortments of melons, I repeat, melons. However they must be cut up like triangles. Then an assortment of nineteen strawberries and twenty blueberries to build up the middle like a little hill of fruit, and finally I’d like a blue rose to decorate the top of the cake. . . And I’d also like a coffee with cream and sugar.”

“Aaaalrighty then! I’ll get started on this right away!”

Deviro can feel his patience slipping. He feels like bucking his hind legs right into the stallion’s stomach as hard as he can, but he can’t even look the stallion’s way. He keeps his eyes fixed on the surface of his table and lays his head down as he can feel himself beginning to tire. So much time goes by that by now the sun is almost completely hidden by the horizon, and the roads have quieted. Just before he begins to dose off he hears the doors to the kitchen flare open, and so he jolts his head up excitedly at the noise. Pinkie Pie comes out from the kitchen desperately trying to keep her balance holding the wide and tall cake as she makes her way back to the counter.

“Order up!” She says.

Deviro watches as he can feel the horror that is about to take place. She can barely see what lies ahead of her with the cake in the way, and not to mention she is already having trouble keeping herself steady. He can imagine seeing her trip as he dreadfully watches the complex cake fall to the ground and splatter over the wood. He watches as the suspense builds inside of him, and his heart pounds crazily.

“Umm Miss Pie!” Deviro calls as he leaps from his seat. “Here, why don’t you allow me to bring this dessert to the customer?” He asks.

“Huh? Oh don’t be silly, I’ve got this! I can and I will bring this extremely heavy cake to the customer myself!” Says Pinkie Pie wobbling past Deviro.

Confused and a bit saddened he turns back and drearily sits back down in his chair.

“Woah, woah!”

Pinkie Pie’s legs start to tremble as her body begins to tip, but just when Deviro covers his eyes fearfully with his hooves he ears are not met with the sounds of the cake splashing onto the wood. Peeking out from between his hooves he sees that she is still standing, but just barely. He exhales with relief as she sets the cake down onto the counter as the customer’s expression is one of joy. Pinkie Pie recites the stallion’s order pointing out each and every detail about the cake that he had demanded.

“Also I coated the cake in our special sugar gloss which makes it extra shiny! So shiny that I’m sure you can see your reflection in it!” Pinkie Pie finishes.

“Wonderful! Thank you oh so much Miss Pie, you always get my order just right.”

“Anytime!”

“You know Miss Pie, couldn’t I just ask for the usual instead of having to say my whole order next time?”

“. . . Oh yeah! I guess that would make things a bit easier.”

Realizing that this stallion has made this order here before causes Deviro to painfully slam his head down onto the table. He wonders just why would Pinkie Pie even bother to write down his order and even recite it to him in the end if he’s ordered this many times before. He feels the need to tear out his own mane at the sheer frustration he is experiencing. The stallion takes his cake and waves Pinkie Pie goodbye as he leaves the shop. At least that was the last order, and now he can finally be led to the one named Twilight.

“Ooookay!” Pinkie says gleefully as she hops towards his table. “I think that everything is just about done! So let’s get a move on—”

“Pinkie!” A voice shouts from the kitchen.

“Yes Mr. Cake!”

“Are you going somewhere?!”

“I’m just going outside with my new strange friend to go to Twilight’s house!”

“Oh . . . okay. Well before you go can you wipe the tables and organize the cakes in the glass case?!”

“Okay!” She then turns to Deviro. “Let me just finish these last couple things, and then we’ll be on our way! Don’t worry, I’ll get them done super-duper quick!”

Deviro had expected another distraction to appear the last moment, so unsurprised he leans his elbow onto the table and his head against his hoof. He watches Pinkie Pie trot into the back room and retrieve a spray bottle of cleaning fluid and a little white towel. He wants to speed up the process by offering his assistance, but he feels she just might turn him down again. She walks over to the very first table, prepares her towel by spraying its surface with the cleaning spray, and gets ready to wipe the table’s surface. She sets it against the edge, and slowly she pushes the cloth across the table. Deviro watches in disbelief and pain as she moves from table to table carefully wiping the tables clean.

He doesn’t understand why she would decide to clean these table as slow as possible. He feels she must be doing this on purpose; she must be trying to drive him to insanity. He can feel anger building up inside him with each table she slowly cleans, but he tries to suppress it. ‘It won’t be much longer now,’ he tells himself. Then suddenly Pinkie Pie stops while in the middle of cleaning a table.

“Oooh what’s this?” She asks peering down at the table’s surface. “A speck! Well, I’ll have this taken care of in no time.”

She tries to simply scrub the stain away, but as she finds that her attempts continue to fail she begins to scrub furiously at it. However, no matter how hard she tries, the stain still proves unsurmountable. Deviro watches as his anger turns to fright as Pinkie Pie herself takes on anger at the spec’s existence.

“You have definitely proven yourself to be a worthy adversary Sir Speck! But can you handle the might of. . !”

Pinkie Pie dashes into the back room as Deviro listens to her rummage through what sounds like piles of tools and boxes. Once she comes back out she is hiding what she brought out behind her back with a devilish grin as she stares down at the speck of gunk.

“The all-powerful . . . power of General Drill Scrubber!”

Pinkie Pie raises up a large piece of cleaning equipment. A large drill shaped machine equipped with a circular brush that is spinning at high speeds as the electricity pulses through it.

“Prepare to be smitten Sir Speck!”

Pinkie Pie slams the spinning brush onto the surface of the table as the very power of the machine causes her body to gyrate uncontrollably. The chairs and other tables begin to shake, and the sounds of the machine struggling to defeat the gunk fills Deviro’s ears. He can even feel the vibrations being sent through the floor from the machine as he watches in terror and even he himself starts to shake. The machine shuts down, and the ground calms. Pinkie Pie begins to catch her breath, and once she finds that she can now gaze at her own reflection on the table’s surface without the interference of the small speck, she smiles and winks at her own reflection.

“Righty ho then! Just one last thing!”

Pinkie Pie joyfully trots along over to the glass casing that holds all of the cakes and pastries as Deviro quivers in his seat still in shock from the violent act that had just taken place. She opens the case and starts to refill the empty spaces with fresh new cakes while adjusting the others to be sitting perfectly in place. However, there appears to be just one little cake she just can’t get into the right spot. Deviro watches her constantly move and turn the cake around as her eyes are heavily focused on it. He can feel the frustration building inside of him as she continues to adjust the cake, but barely moving it at all. She even pulls out a small ruler to measure the spacing between it and the neighboring pastries which only drives him higher up this seemingly never-ending wall of annoyance.

Deviro continuously slams his head against the table with a tornado of emotions rolling through his mind. With one final slam he leaves his face planted against the table. Pinkie Pie leaves the counter with a smile, happily content with the position of the cake and hops over to Deviro’s table.

“Well, now that that’s out of the way, we can finally be on our way! But while I was doing all those different chores I began to realize . . . your name totally rhymes with ‘iced coffee’! I mean if you think about it the vowels and syllables—”

“Stop! Just stop!” Deviro snaps. “I thought that we were going to vacate this establishment once you had finished!”

“. . . W-Well.” Pinkie Pie mutters as her eyes begin to tear. “I-I didn’t know that you were such a big meanie pants! Well forget it, you can just see your way out! Good-bye!” She says crossing her hooves and turning her back towards him.

Deviro’s jaw might as well drop from its hinges as it hangs open from his speechlessness. He was completely unprepared for the sudden change of her demeanor. He needs to fix this quickly, or else his suffering will have been all for not.

“Wait! You don’t understand, we must go!”

“With an attitude like that then I don’t think so!”

“No wait uh . . . I didn’t mean to come across as malicious in my vernacular.”

“Hmph!”

“Oh please, just what precisely do you want me to do?”

“Well, what do you do when you do something wrong?”

“. . . Offer a blood sacrifice?”

“A what?”

“N-Never mind. . . Well, then what?”

“It’s a magic word that everypony uses when they hurt somepony’s feelings.”

“Curses, I knew I should have brought my spell book.”

“It’s not in a spell book! Look, you’re supposed to apologize!”

“Apologize. . ? Just how would you define that word?”

“When you feel bad for something you did and you want to make the pony understand you didn’t mean it! That’s what an apology is.”

“. . . So, how do I apology?”

“It’s apolo-gize, and I told you all you have to do is say the magic word.”

“W-What word are you speaking of?”

“You know what, forget it then. If you’re going to pretend like you don’t even know how to apologize then you might as well just leave!” She says trotting off.

“Stop! Wait!” Deviro pleads. “Okay, I’ll . . . apolo-gize.”

Pinkie stops and turns with her hooves crossed waiting for his apology, but he stands unsure of what exactly to do. He is unsure of how to use this ‘apology’ correctly. The last thing he wants to do is send her stomping away. This will be his only chance for redemption. Deviro raises one hoof and stands himself straight up.

“I Deviro, hereby initiate my apology to you Miss Pie,” he says, taking a bow.

The room suddenly falls silent, and Deviro is growing tense as he holds his bowed position waiting for her response. He looks up at her, and she appears to be pondering to herself about his apology as if deciding if it is indeed acceptable.

“Wow! That was like the ‘coolest’ apology ever! Oh! Oh! Hold on let me try!” Pinkie says ecstatically clearing her throat. “And I, Pinkamena Diane Pie, hereby accept your apology Sir Deviro!” She says joyfully with a curtsy.

“So . . . have I succeeded in the apology?”

Pinkie Pie then throws herself into him in a dash and wraps her forelegs around him so tight that he can barely take in a breath of air.

“Of course silly! Okay, now let’s go to Twilight’s! I’m sure she’d love to meet the new pony in town!”

Deviro is then overcome with the feeling of success. Now that he has mastered the art of the apology, he feels that he can accomplish what ever other situations he may be tossed into. Finally, the time has come. He has come too far to let this fall through his hooves. He is prepared to meet the once called Twilight, and to tip the first domino of his plan.

Chapter Three

Chapter 3

At last Deviro’s wishes have been answered. Pinkie Pie guides him through the darkened town along the lonely dirt roads to a rather tall oak tree that has been transformed into a building. It is complete with windows, doors, and even a balcony outstretching along the longest and strongest branch of the tree. Deviro is puzzled by the peculiar modification of this piece of plant life, he wonders just who in the right mind would feel the need to live and breathe inside the trunk of a tree? Nevertheless, the mare has guided him to this odd structure and so this surely must be the place she promised to take him. The windows are empty and shield the shadows behind the glass. It must be too late in the day to expect anypony to be awake, or perhaps they’ve gone.

“Well here we are! May I present to you Twilight’s strawberry!” Pinkie introduces with glee.

“. . . Pardon? What was that you said?” Deviro asks mystified.

“Behold! The canary!”

“Miss Pie this clearly is not a berry nor an avian mammal.”

“Well duh! I thought we were playing a game where we think of how many things can rhyme with library!”

“. . . I don’t recall anything of the sort.”

“Oh . . . well this is Twilight’s library. I’ll just knock on the door and see if she’s awake.”

Pinkie Pie walks up to the front door and lifts her hoof ready to knock, until she suddenly starts slamming her head into the door. The loud sounds of her forehead banging against the wood jars Deviro as he worries that if indeed somepony is asleep inside the tree structure then this may wake them.

“Miss Pie! Just what exactly are you doing?!”

“Huh? Oh! Well Twilight told me that I should try using my head more often, especially when I come to her house.”

“. . . I see.”

“Hmm, well I guess she’s too busy sleeping. We’ll just have to come by another time I guess.”

“Well wait just one moment.” Says Deviro taking Pinkie Pie’s place in front of the door.

He tests the knob of the door and finds that it is locked. Deviro isn’t ready to leave this place empty hoofed, not after the anguish he’s been through thus far. The only way to get inside would have to be to force his way inside, but just how is he going to sneak in with this mare as a witness. Surely her trust of him would be shattered if she knew he was attempting to break into the house. He needs to think of a way to persuade the mare into thinking that this will be a harmless act. He understands that her mind is simple, but yet complex at the same time. He needs to find a way to appeal to her nature, and he feels he has just the answer.

“Um, Miss Pie?”

“Hm?”

“You enjoy to part-take in games correct?”

“Oh yes! I love all sorts of games!”

“Then how about we play a game of . . . spies?”

“Ooh! Do you mean we get to dress up in black and wear night-vision goggles with walkie-talkies?!”

“. . . Not quite, what we have to do is we have to enter and navigate through this library as quietly as possible without being detected.”

“Ooh stealth! I like where this is going. This sounds like fun! I wanna play!”

“Very well then-but first you must understand the two most important rules of the game. You cannot be seen, and you must be quiet.”

“Aye aye!” She shouts while saluting Deviro.

“Miss Pie!” He whispers urgently.

“Oh right, ahem, aye aye!” She whispers.

“Excellent, then are you ready to play?”

“Yes! Let’s get into the burglary!”

“Th-The what?” Deviro asks stunned by her mention of the word ‘burglary’.

“Oh, I thought we were still playing the rhyming game!”

“Oh. . .” He says while calming his heart. “No that-that game is over.”

“Okay, well I’m ready! Oh! Can we have code names?”

“Code names?”

“Yeah! Oh, oh! I want mine to be . . . Pinkie Spy!”

“Very well, that will be your ‘code name’.”

“Yay! Now what’s yours?”

“I do not need a code name Miss Pie.”

“It’s Pinkie Spy now! And of course you have to have a code name, all spies have code names!”

“Well, I don’t have an idea so let’s just use my regular na—”

“I got it! How about Black Eye?” She asks in a foreboding tone of voice.

“Black Eye?”

“Yeah! It’s dark and mysterious, a fitting spy name!”

“Fine, you may refer to me as Black Eye. Are you ready to begin the game?”

“Yes! I do believe we have all the necessary components . . . except night-vision goggles, but let’s go!”

“Perfect, now the first step in this game is to get inside the house; but how?”

“Oh! I have an idea!”

Deviro finds his shoulders being crushed by Pinkie Pie’s hind hooves as she reaches up to the window. For a mare he thought that she would be lighter than expected, but he was horribly wrong. However, Deviro cannot quite remember a time where he exercised to build up his strength, so perhaps it’s just his physical weakness that’s destroying him. Pinkie Pie has been taking an awfully long time just to open a simple window, and if he were to wait any longer his shoulders just might shatter.

“Miss Pie!” He painfully mutters. “Have you gotten the window open yet?”

“Huh? Oh sorry, I was just looking inside and I gotta say Twilight really needs to tidy up the place. It’s a total pig-sty in there!”

“Well could you please just open the window now?!”

“Oh yeah sure!”

Deviro listens to the pleasing sound of the window latch coming undone and the sliding of the window pane. The tension is lifted from his shoulders as she climbs up and into the higher room, now all she has to do is come along down and unlock the door.

“Okay! Come on up!” Pinkie calls out from the window.

Suddenly something smacks Deviro in the face, and upon grabbing it he finds that it’s a rope handing from the windowsill up above.

“Um . . . Miss Pie!” He calls, but he receives no answer. “Miss Pie!” He calls once more, but still no answer. “Miss Pie!”

“Black Eye! We’re supposed to call each other by our code names! I am not Pinkie Pie anymore, I’m Pinkie Spy!” Says Pinkie Pie popping up in the window.

“Ugh, fine. Miss ‘Spy’?”

“Yes Black Eye?”

“Just where did you get this rope from?”

“All good spies have rope silly!”

“. . . Yes uh, right.” He says not wanting to question her.

Deviro grips onto the rope and begins his climb up the rigid trunk of the tree. Exhaustedly he pulls his body over the windowsill and lays his back onto the floor as he regains his breath. He has found himself in a sort of living room with wooden chairs and shelves built into the inside of the tree’s walls. Along the floor are books all sprawled out with their covers opened to random pages.

“Let’s do this thing! Beginning stealth mission Alpha Charlie!”

Devrio lifts his tired head up from the floor and sees that Pinkie Pie is in a fighting stance and dressed up in a dark skin tight outfit that covers the majority of her body except for her eyes. Puzzled by her sudden change in appearance he wonders just where she could have gotten that black garment from, but he contemplates even asking as he can already guess just the sort of answer he will receive.

“Miss Pie, why are you dressed in that outfit?”

“Agent Black Eye are you sure you’re up to date on the mission briefing? We’re spies! We need to make sure we can blend in with the shadows.”

“Of course, just what was I thinking? Say, I propose an idea. Why don’t you go on ahead and investigate the downstairs portion of the house?”

“Right! Current objective: secure the lower level. Agent Black Eye, we’ll rendezvous once it’s secure.” She whispers before sneaking out and creeping down the nearby stairway.

Relieved that finally he can now have a moment to investigate the house he dusts off himself and checks out the room further. All of the books seem to have been ripped off the shelves with quite a fair amount of urgency. This Twilight Sparkle must’ve been searching for something in a hurry, but what and why? Deviro lightly lays his hooves against the floor with every step he takes toward the stairway leading to the upper level of the house. At the top of the staircase he peers around the corner and finds a large bedroom lined with even more shelves stuffed with books. More books seem to have been torn from the shelves and scattered about the floor.

The house feels eerily empty, but Deviro isn’t ready to let his guard down just yet. He notices that desks are cluttered with papers and scribbled notes. At the end of the room is a small stairway that leads up to a bed covered by a starry blanket and lies near a window. To his surprise the bed appears to be empty, which gets him to believe that she must be somewhere else in the house. He could assume that she instead isn’t home, but he wouldn’t rather take the chance. He searches through the papers and inside the drawers of the desks for anything that could point him in the right direction for the location of the Elements of Harmony. He squints his eyes attempting to read the writing on the paper, but it is too dark to make out. Although, he does notice something appearing before his eyes. A big black dot lowering itself down from above, and he finds that it is a spider descending by a strand of webbing from the ceiling.

Every muscle in Deviro’s body tenses as he holds his breath back out of fear. He has never been fond of such insects, and to have one directly in his face raises his need to swat it away. However, he fears he’ll make too much noise and alert Twilight Sparkle if she is indeed in the house. The spider sets its thin eight legs down onto Deviro’s snout as he stares into its eight emotionless black eyes. He locks his mouth shut from his need to shout at the top of his lungs and tries to come up with a solution to rid himself of this malicious pest. With all these books around the answer comes easy; without moving a single muscle in his face he reaches out and grabs a book from the desk, and readies it in front of his face. He counts down from three in his head, and as soon as he reaches one he smashes the book as hard as he can onto his snout.

Prying the book from his face he is in pain, but relieved to see that the spider is gone. Although, he realizes that the spider’s smashed corpse is not on the cover of the book. He then feels a tickling sensation along his shoulder, he is horrified to find that the spider has survived, and proceeds to crawl about on his body. Frantically he tries to smash the spider himself desperately keeping the noise levels to a minimum, until a new problem hoots and causes Deviro to freeze like a statue. Perched on the windowsill near the bed an owl sits and stares at him. The sudden appearance of this winged creature puts him on the edge. He hopes not to disturb it until he realizes that it must see the spider on his shoulder, and spiders are a part of an owl’s diet. He glances back at the exit thinking that he can escape before the owl decides to strike, and as he cautiously backs away it swoops into the bedroom and hovers near Deviro.

It begins to peck at his body, and the spider continues to crawl around him. He has no other options, he must lose the owl, and he cannot contain himself any longer. He lets out his cries and trots away down the stairs with the owl still pecking furiously at him. His hooves lose their balance sending him tumbling painfully down the rest of the stairs with the owl following behind. He passes the living room where Pinkie Pie is investigating a little cookie jar. The sounds alarm her, but as soon as she turns Deviro has already passed by. Shrugging she digs in the jar and pulls out a cookie followed by a cheerful grin.

The ride of pain finally ends as he reaches the bottom of the stairs and skids his face along the dirt floor. Clouds of dust and dirt fill the air as he coughs trying to swat them away from his mouth. Feeling bruised and battered he stands and examines the room he’s found himself in. He must be under the tree as long thick roots extend from the ceiling and along the dirt walls. The room is filled with all sorts of lab equipment such as beakers, test tubes, pipes and other kinds of scientific tools that have been tipped over and sprawled across the room. The only source of light is a large glass jar filled with fluorescent green fluid that connects to a generator of some sort. He turns his strained neck back to see the owl hovering behind him. He can feel himself filling with fury, and explodes irately at the owl.

“Why you pestilent winged annoyance! When I get my hooves on you I’m going to roast you and serve you on a platter!” He shouts.

Deviro dashes toward the owl who fearfully flies around the lab leaving behind feathers that fall from the violent flapping of its wings. Around and around he chases the bird kicking about the mess on the floor. He jumps up to grab the bird, but it escapes just barely. Deviro crashes into a little wooden table causing it to tip over with his body draped over its edge. With his breath forced from his lungs by the impact he sees two glass beakers have fallen off the table and broken apart. The two liquids contained in them meet and soon begin to sizzle. It starts to smoke and bubble increasingly, alarming Deviro that the chemicals are reacting, and he has little time to react.

Pinkie Pie, after finishing all that was in the cookie jar, jolts as the floor shakes along with a loud explosion down below. Deviro has been sent flying across the room and his body is dug into the dirt. The table had flown with him and is pressing against him. He pushes the table away from him and can smell nothing but smoke. His body is covered in black ash, and his skin feels burnt. He looks up and sees that the owl is sitting atop a root sticking out from the wall, unharmed by the explosion. Deviro feels mocked by its blank stare and growls in anger. Suddenly he hears something trotting down the stairs. Pinkie Pie emerges with a bucket, and as soon as she spots him she tosses the water in it over his charred body. Spitting out the water and taste of smoke he stands infuriated even further.

“Miss Pie!” He shouts.

“I told you to call me Pinkie Sp—”

“I don’t care about that right now at the moment! What I want to know is why you splashed water over me?!”

“Well, I heard something explode, then I smelled smoke, so I figured there was a fire! Also, you might want to keep it down, I thought the mission involved being quiet. Oh! That reminds me, I don’t think Twilight is home, she must be gone for the night.”

Dripping with water and brimming with frustration he rests his hooves on his face in defeat. He hasn’t found a single clue on her location, and instead all he received was anguish.

“Oh, hi Owlowiscious! I see you’ve met Deviro!”

“Hoo.”

“Oh he’s a friend of mine, we were just playing a game. Say, do you know where Twilight is? We’ve been trying to find her.”

“Hoo.”

“Owlowiscious we always go through this, Twilight is the one who lives here!”

As Pinkie Pie continues her pointless conversation with the bird Deviro’s eyes are caught be something glimmering on the floor near the green glow of the fluid stored in the glass jar. Upon closer inspection he finds a white dress coated in soot, but it is lined with sparkling blue gems along the cuffs and collar.

“Well now, what is something such as this doing down here?” Deviro asks.

“Hm? Oh that looks like one of the dresses Rarity made!” Says Pinkie Pie.

“Rarity? Just who would that be?”

“She’s a friend of ours. She makes these amazing dresses for everypony!”

“Would she perchance know where Miss Sparkle has gone to?”

“Hey that’s a great idea! Let’s go ask Rarity, and in the mean time you can get to know her! I think that you two will become friends right away!”

“Yes, of course. I can hardly contain my enthusiasm.”

Perhaps it isn’t that time to give in, with this next step in locating Twilight Sparkle his faith in his mission has been reinvigorated. So much so that he barely recognizes the pain his body has endured. He walks over to Pinkie Pie ready to move on.

“Well then, let us not waste any more time. Let’s go to this ‘Rarity’s’ place of dwelling.”

“Alrighty! Then follow me . . .” Pinkie Pie trails off while examining Deviro.

“What? What is the matter now?”

“Umm . . . You might want to see for yourself.”

Pinkie Pie reaches behind her back and brings out a little mirror to show him his face. Deviro is distraught to find that the color around one of his eye has darkened and bruised.

“Hey, at least your code name fits you perfectly now!” Pinkie Pie chuckles nervously.

Chapter Four

Chapter 4

Both Deviro and Pinkie Pie tread through the night, with the soiled dress draped over Pinkie’s back. Deviro cannot stop thinking back to the scene of the crime they had both committed, hoping that any traces of their accident had been cleaned up properly. He had entrusted Pinkie Pie with making sure everything was back in order in the upper section of the house, while he handled the cleanup in the basement. That owl just wouldn’t take its stare off of him for a second, instilling him with the fear that perhaps it saw directly into his mind, and his intentions. Perhaps it was his intense paranoia getting the best of him, and he should instead focus on the task at hoof. That being to locate this ‘Rarity’ Pinkie had spoken of, and in turn, be lead in the right direction in ultimately reaching Miss Twilight Sparkle.

Deviro follows Pinkie Pie down a path lined with an abundant assortment of flowers, a very clean and well-kept garden lies in the yard belonging to a tall, rounded building. It’s coated in wondrous decorations to the point of being almost overly gaudy. However, Deviro wishes to not waste time on judging the exterior of the building. Pinkie Pie gleefully hops to the front door, and raises her hoof, ready to knock. “Oh!” Pinkie gasps. “I just remembered! Rarity must be in the middle of her beauty sleep by now, I should knock quietly, and I have just the thing.”

“Good, what is it you have prepared?” Deviro asks. Pinkie Pie reaches into the pink, puffiness of her mane, and takes out a puffy oven mitt. She bites the end of her tongue as she cautiously sticks her hoof into the mitten. Deviro watches, nearly disturbed by Pinkie’s perfuse sweat and strain in her eyes. Not wanting to rush her, as he remembers the last time he had interfered with her actions, he waits somewhat patiently for her to get the mitten over her hoof. Once her hoof is fully concealed by the mitten, she leans in closer to the door, and drawn by the curiosity of her plan, Deviro leans closer as well to observe. Just as he waits for her to knock, he is startled by the sudden slam into the door with her own head. Deviro watches in absolute terror as she repeatedly smashes her head into the door whilst screaming to the top of her lungs.

“Rarity! Wake up! It’s Pinkie! Hello?! Are you awake yet?!” She screams. After her intense shouting and banging, a light switches on in a window on the upper level of the building. “There! She should be awake now.” Deviro stands, still in fear from the sudden attack on the door, and can’t help but watch her jitter and bounce with excitement as she waits for the door to be answered. The door knob twists, and a piercing light flees from the doorway. Deviro stares as a shadowed figure stands in the doorway, it takes a step forward, sending a chill up his spine. What is revealed is what he believes to be a mare with a nappy, violet mane that nearly covers up her furious eyes. Her mouth a gaping open, as if to draw the soul right from Devrio’s mortal body.

“Ah! Stay back you fowl wench! I’ve read about hideous creatures such as you, and I won’t allow you to perform any sort of wicked acts upon me with your witchcraft! I swear, if you should take but one step closer, I will not hesitate to drive a wooden stake right through your grimy, rotted heart!”

“My word! How dare you come bashing my door in the middle of the night, only to shout such brash things?!”

“Heed my warning witch! I’m willing to put forth many shillings on the idea that you had in fact taken the one called ‘Twilight’, dismembered her corpse, and devoured her remains with a crooked smile upon your already contorted face!” As Rarity and Deviro lash out at each other, Pinkie Pie watches as her eyes dart back and forth between the two, unsure of what to do to ease the tension.

“Make one more comment about my face, and I swear I will rip yours right off! Why don’t you go ahead and leave?! You seem to have brought a rather unpleasant stench to my porch!”

“Um . . . guys?” Pinkie says, trying to break the argument.

“You would do such a thing wouldn’t you?! You cave-dwelling demon!” Deviro continues to shout.

“Oh! So now you’re going to talk poorly about my home are you? Well, by the looks and stench of you, it wouldn’t surprise me if you crawled right out from the nearest sewer pipe!” Rarity yells.

“Guys, wait. . .” Pinkie attempts once again to end their intensifying shouts.

“I’m warning you for the last time, step back or this will be the end of you!”

“I dare you to try! And you just watch what happens!”

“Wait!” Pinkie Pie screams, silencing the both of them. “There’s something I just have to know. . . Devrio, is that you’re natural smell? I thought it was some kind of super-expensive cologne! Either way, I think it’s wonderful.” Pinkie Pie leans in near Deviro, only to take a huge whiff of the air near him, followed by a pleased sigh.

“By the Sun of the Seven Sapphires, is my supposed odor indeed that . . .” Deviro takes a moment to intriguingly sniff the sleeve to his robe, and his face scrunches from disgust. “Well. . .” Deviro clears his throught. “Nevertheless, my scent is out of the question! The reason Miss Pie and I have visited your property, is to—”

“Fix this dress!” Pinkie Pie holds out the soiled dress, widening Rarity’s eyes with shock.

“Goodness! Just what in the name of Celestia—? How did it end up this way?”

“I’m sorry Rarity, it’s classified.”

“It’s what?”

“Exactly.”

“. . . Well, do come in. We must tend to this straight away before these stains settle in.” Pinkie Pie follows Rarity inside, leaving Deviro to mutter miserably to himself.

“We-we came for . . . the whereabouts of a Miss . . . Twilight . . . Sparkle. . .” Now abandoned, he observes the doorway in a curious manner, unsure if he should pass through. There’s something blocking him, something not in reality, but something engraved in his mind that’s now reemerging from the familiarity of his current situation. Something small, but something he wanted to forget regardless, along with all the other memories of his early years. Dozing off, victim to his calling memory, he remembers a time similar to this.

“Come Cirsay, we wouldn’t want to be late once again now would we?”

“No. . .”

“You do remember how upset your brother was when he found out he was late, correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I don’t want to have to go searching for you again, so please, stay nearby.” Cirsay, too ashamed to look up to his superior, hides his face, only to get a glance at who he had to call ‘brother’ whom was watching him with a despicable stare. The three of them approached the finely decorated doorway, which was answered almost as soon as they set hoof on the porch. A jovial, aged mare caked in make-up answered the door, and by the sound of her voice, Cirsay could already tell she was ready to comment on him. He tugged at the collar of his white dress shirt, and stared to the ground.

“Ah! Mister Pollington! A joy it is to see you at my doorstep this fine morning,” says the well-dressed mare.

“Quite a joy to see you as well Miss Marie,” says the tall stallion Cirsay and his brother have been following.

“Hello Miss Marie!” The brother greets. Cirsay despised that disgusting smile he wore on his face, it made him clench his teeth out of anger. He pretended to be this kind and gentle colt that could do no wrong, but Cirsay new the truth, nopony would ever believe him no matter what he said. In fact, it was the things he said that gave others that same idea of him. It was a battle he could not win, which led to his silent forfeit.

“Oh, darling little Naven, I never get tired of seeing that big smile of yours! And, hello to you too Cirsay, I’m quite surprised you’re dressed up this time. . . Excuse me Cirsay!” The mare’s tone shifted, forcing Cirsay to look up to her enraged expression. “When someone’s speaking, you should look them in the eyes. I’m sure Mister Pollington has already taught you this, yes?”

“Of course, but . . .”

“Yes, yes, it’s always ‘buts’ with you Mister Pollington. I mean no disrespect, but you need to straighten this boy out. You did such a good job with Naven, why can’t you do the same with Cirsay?”

“Well, Miss Marie, I’m sure we don’t want to keep Naven waiting,” says the stallion, clearly running low on patience.

“Oh, of course. Come Naven, your friends are waiting.” As Naven and the stallion enter the mare’s home, she holds out her hoof to Cirsay just as he is about to enter as well. “Cirsay, would you mind staying out here for a moment. You can come in shortly. Just . . . a moment.” She closed the door in Cirsay’s face, and without any other choice, there he sat. Alone, he waited, and just as he expected, Miss Marie hadn’t come back for him. This was the moment where his mind had finally had enough, the moment where he would no longer be a victim.

Broken free from his troubling memories, he finds himself standing in the middle of Rarity’s living room, surrounded by ornamental furniture. His eyes widen, and his legs tremble. “W-What? How did I get in here?”

“I dragged you in here silly! You were just standing out there like a statue, so I brought you in myself!” says Pinkie Pie. In a flash, Deviro trots and trips to the shiny tiled floor, scrambling to the door.

“No! I should be outside! They never wanted me inside! Leave me!” He screams.

“Deviro! What’re you doing? Come on! We gotta meet up with Rarity!” Pinkie Pie explains, trying to pull Deviro back into the room. However, she struggles with his tight grip on the doorway. She strains, yanking on the end of his robe to bring him back inside. Eventually, she tears Deviro from the doorway, sending them both tumbling backwards across the floor. Their momentum ends with them sliding on their backs to Rarity’s hooves as she stares down at the both of them.

“Would you two please settle down, you’re bound to make a mess with that kind of roughhousing,” says Rarity.

“We’re not roughhousing, we’re on a secret mission!”

“Is that so? And what kind of ‘secret mission’ are you going on about?”

Noticing an opportunity to perhaps move further in his search for Miss Twilight, he attempts to explain to her once again. “We are trying to locate a Miss Twi—”

“Fix this dress!” Pinkie Pie exclaims, holding up the soiled dress in her hoof.

“Oh, yes, right. Well, follow me then.” Rarity takes the dress, and begins walking further into her home with Pinkie Pie happily hopping behind. Deviro lays, shot down for the second time. Helplessly, he holds out his hoof in a desperate attempt for their attention.

“No . . . wait . . . Twilight Sparkle! I-I need to know. . .” However, it’s hopeless, as they continue to stroll down the hall.

With Deviro now begrudgingly following behind, he feels that if he allows them to continue worrying about this dress, then he’ll never learn about Miss Twilight’s whereabouts. Nearing Pinkie Pie’s side, he taps her on the back to get her attention. “Excuse me, Miss Pie?” He asks.

“Yes Deviro?”

“I do believe it’s time to get to the point and inform Miss Rarity of the ‘real’ reason we’re here.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am indeed certain.”

“Okay, if you say so! Hey Rarity!”

Rarity sighs. “Yes, darling?”

“My friend Deviro wants to know something.”

“And what is it exactly that miscreant needs to know?”

“He would like for you to give him a whole makeover!”

“Pardon?!” Deviro gasps.

“Oh dear, well, I suppose I could, but it would be quite a lot of work. Judging by the looks of it, it may be one of the most difficult tasks I’ve ever been given. However, I don’t see any reason to grace him with my talents, I’m afraid he’ll just have to remain a disgusting mess.”

“Oh please! He said he just loves your style, he just wouldn’t stop talking about how beautiful the dress looked before it got totally ruined!”

“What?! I said nothing of the—”

“Take it from me, Deviro and I go way back. All the way back to this morning. Trust me, he’s just a little cranky because of his smell.”

“Wha— . . . I—”

“Please Rarity! He was begging me to tell you, because he didn’t know how to tell you himself.”

“Hmm. . .” Rarity ponders. “Well, if that’s true, then I suppose I could lend a hoof in giving him a bit of a makeover.” Without a chance to try and speak again, Rarity grabs hold of his foreleg. “But! If we’re going to do this, we need to act quick! This may take all night!” Immediately, Deviro’s heart sinks to the bottom of his chest.

Pinkie and Rarity bring him into a big room filled with stacks of fabric, other sewing materials, and a big round stage where they make him stand. “Now, just be still, and hold this for me,” says Rarity.

“B-But, I need to find—!” Rarity shoves a pin cushion in Deviro’s mouth, and begins bolting around him with a measuring tape taking measurements of his legs and waist. Deviro stands for what feels like hours as Rarity sketches and writes notes in a little notebook as she collects the fabric. He glances over to Pinkie Pie, in agony from being so stiff for so long, but she just watches him with a reassuring look on her face.

“Right then! Just give me a few minutes, I will return momentarily,” says Rarity as she rushes out the door. Pinkie Pie approaches Deviro, and for a moment, removes the pin cushion that’s been stuck in his mouth the entire time.

“So, how are you feeling so far Deviro?” She asks.

“Ah! Twilight Spark—!” Pinkie Pie shoves the cushion back in his mouth.

“You’re doing good Deviro! I’m sure you’ll look great by the end!” Suddenly, the door opens a tad, and Rarity pokes her head inside the room.

“Pinkie Pie! Be a dear and bring Deviro to the washroom to get him all cleaned up for me please?” Rarity asks.

“You betcha!” Rarity shuts the door, and Pinkie Pie grabs hold of his foreleg to drag him to the bathroom near by the stage. She pushes him into a white bathtub and shuts the shower curtain on him.

“W-What is this?” Deviro asks.

“It’s just a shower silly, now throw over your cape!”

“It’s a robe.”

“Throw over the cape!” She screams. Frightened, Deviro tosses his robe over the top of the shower. “Now hold on a sec! This looks like some new, fancy shower! It looks like the water controls are out here. . . Don’t worry, I’ll make sure I get the water nice and comfortable.” Pinkie Pie starts turning the little vavles, and water starts spurting from the showerhead. Almost as quickly as the water started, Deviro starts screaming at the top of his lungs. “It feels good right?”

Deviro can barely form words, as the burning almost forces him to scream incessantly. “Ahh! No! Ahh! It burns!”

“Oops, that must be the hot valve. . . How about now?” She asks, turning the other valve; but still, his screams only continue.

“Ahh! It’s f-f-freezing!”

“Oh, these must be really sensitive. . . I know! I’ll just keep turning them and maybe it’ll balance the hot and the cold! Duh! Silly ol’ me.” Crazily, Pinkie Pie turns both valves without recourse, sending bursts of scolding hot, and freezing cold water straight to Deviro’s already suffering body. His screams of horror only intensify, and with every burst of cold and hot water, the pitch of his screams change nearly every time. So much so, that he feels his lungs are just about to give out, and his throat is thrashing. It’s only after several minutes of pain that she notices the sticker in-between the two valves that reads: ‘Have BOTH Valves Turned Towards The CENTER For Warm Water’. “Ohh . . . I guess that makes sense too.” She turns the handles of the valves toward each other to the center, and Deviro’s screaming finally ends. “How’s that?”

“Better,” he says in relief.

“Good! Oh, and make sure you use shampoo for your hair!”

“Use what?”

“The purple bottle!” Deviro searches the shower, and indeed finds a transparent, purple bottle filled with a thick liquid. He pops open the cap, and peers closer into the little hole in the cap, wondering how he’ll get any of that out. Judging by the weak form of the plastic bottle, perhaps with a strong enough squeeze, he’ll get some out. With his eye near the hole, watching to make sure he makes progress; he slams his hooves against the bottle, sending a stream of shampoo directly into his eye. Almost instantly, he can feel the pain of the severe stinging, and once again, his almost filly-like screams begin anew. “Did you find it?”

“Ahh! My eyes!”

“Of course silly! That’s what you use to find the bottle!”

“Noo! It burns!”

“It’s okay! That just means it’s working. . ! I think.” Deviro, now blinded, drops the bottle and stumbles around the shower. His hoof steps on the smashed bottle, causing him to lose balance, and plummeting down against the hard floor with a loud thud. “Are you okay in there?” Deviro moans in agony. “Do you want me to try turning the valves again?”

“No! Please just . . . no! Ugh, I need you to just leave! I can complete this task on my own!”

“Oh I see, you need a little privacy. No worries, I’ll be right outside if you need something.” Deviro listens to the graceful sound of the door opening and closing, and the absence of Pinkie Pie’s voice fills him with relief. With the pain in his eye subsided, he picks up the shampoo bottle, and glares at it.

“Fowl contraption!” He mutters angrily. He notices the liquid dripping from the cap and over his hoof, and with the feeling of having finally defeated the ‘shampoo bottle’ task, he applies the liquid to his hair until it becomes a bubbly mass. After he gets himself all washed, he exits the shower unsure of what to do next. “Um . . . Miss Pie!”

“Yes?” She sings from behind the door.

“What do I—? How long were you standing near the door?”

“Ohh the whole time.”

“. . . Right, well, what is my next assignment in completing this cleaning process?”

“You just have to dry yourself off! Easy-peasy!”

“Dry myself? But with what?” Deviro scans the rather large washroom, which he couldn’t get a good look at the first time as he was aggressively shoved into the shower, and he cannot find anything that would make sense in drying him off. However, he does find another door. Upon checking what’s inside, he notices a couple rather mysterious devices. He walks closer to investigate them further, and finds that one of them is labeled with a sticker that reads: DRYER. “I suppose this is what I’m meant to use. Perhaps I get into this device through here. . .” He opens the lid at the top of the cube-shaped device, and climbs inside. He inspects the several dials on the machine’s dashboard, and presses the ‘start’ button. Gradually, the small compartment in the machine begins turning, causing Deviro to lose his balance and fall into the machine with the lid slamming right above him. He tries to pop the lid back open, but he cannot regain his coordination with the constant spinning.

From the next room, Pinkie Pie sits with a magazine in her lap; licking her hoof and flipping through the pages. Until she hears a faint sound, what she believes to be Deviro’s muffled screams. “Keep practicing Deviro! You’ll get better at singing the more you practice!”

After several minutes of tumbling and heat, the machine rings, signaling that the cycle is finished. Deviro pops open the lid, and climbs out from the machine gasping for breath. He feels completely cooked, as the fur from his coat and his mane steam with heat. He crawls over the cool floor, struggling for air, until Pinkie Pie bursts through the door. “What was that?! I head a ‘ding’! Is it cupcakes? Danishes? French toast?!” With hopeful gasping, Deviro reaches out to Pinkie Pie for assistance. “Wow Deviro! I didn’t know you were practicing to be an actor too! First singing, and now this? You’ve got some real talent. Oh! Oh! Let me try!” Pinkie flops to the floor, mimicking Deviro’s twitching and gasping.

“Are you just about done? I’ve got. . .” Rarity peers around the doorway, only to see both Pinkie Pie and Deviro in the middle of what appears to be a seizure.

“We’re practicing our acting skills!” Pinkie explains. “And if you ask me, I think Deviro’s got me beat.”

“Right, well you two can practice later, I have your outfit all ready for you! Come and let’s get this on you!”

“Wooh! Let’s go!” Pinkie Pie cheers as she drags Deviro’s steaming body out through the doorway and posed back onto the stage. Rarity dresses him in a white, collared shirt, and a black vest.

“Alright, this is looking good,” says Rarity as she buttons in the shirt. “Now for the final touches.” Rarity pulls out a jar of what appears to be gel, applies a glob of it to her hoof, and begins styling Deviro’s mane until it’s smooth and sleek. Finally, she pulls out a black, round hat with a wide brim, dusts it off, and carefully places it on the top of his head. “Viola! Get ready to meet, the new you!” Rarity hold up a mirror to him, and he sees just how stiff he is in his new clothes. He’s mostly thankful that the burning from the machine has gone away, but not for the fact that he can barely move his limbs from the tightness of the clothes. “What do you think of your new look?”

“It’s . . . It’s . . ! It’s absolutely wonderful,” he says, biting his lip, no longer seeing the point in fighting back.

“Oh splendid! And if I may add myself, you do look rather fabulous.”

“Oh my gosh!” Pinkie shouts.

“What is it Pinkie?”

“All this excitement made me forget something really important! We never got to the whole reason we came here for!” Deviro’s eyes light up. He can feel his pain and agony finally coming to a close, and she’ll bring up their main purpose at last. He stands, eagerly waiting for the words to leave Pinkie Pie’s mouth. “We forgot all about the dress!”