"Go Buck Yourself"

by Fire Gazer the Alchemist

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Coco Pommel, Suri Polomare, Slice of Life
Length: 1866

Coco Pommel finally stands up for herself, and in the best possible way.

It's been a rough five months working for Suri Polomare. At first Coco thought she was just a bit demanding, but once Fashion Week came around her boss reveals how nasty she really is. When she hears about Suri's awful scheme to steal the trophy from Rarity, Coco snaps.

She snaps hard.

Now with a Youtube reading by TheCaptainSand - Scarlett Blade

Second Youtube reading by Visualpony Thenarrator

Published 2014-07-19 19:00:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-19 19:00:05 UTC

With a Flaming Cactus

Coco Pommel rushed through the busy streets of Manehattan on three of her four legs. The one hoof not doing any of the running work was delicately cradling a small coffee with extra cream, no sugar, and only a little foam. It was just the way her boss demanded it. She held it close to her, scared that anything might happen to it. Her pace quickened, knowing that she had to get back soon.

In her hurry, she knocked over a gray pegasus who just finished crossing the street. Turning around, she meekly whispered an apology to him. He didn’t seem to care.

“Watch where you’re going, you stupid bit-”

Coco whipped her head forward and pretended not to hear the rest of his hurtful comment. She honestly would have stopped and helped him back up, but if she was even a second late with Suri’s coffee then her boss would… well, Coco shuddered to even think about it.

Had she known five months ago that getting a job for Suri Polomare would be so awful, Coco would never have agreed to work for her. Unfortunately, however, she had been naïve enough five months ago to believe that everypony in Manehattan was generous and willing to help their fellow pony.

For almost half a year, Coco had been doing nothing except running errands for Suri. They were degrading things too, like picking up her dry cleaning, charging the sewing machine, and - of course - fetching her coffee. Quitting was something she’d wanted to do for a long time, but Coco was always too afraid of what Suri might say or do to her if she tried.

It hadn’t been until last night that she’d actually been allowed to sew anything. Her boss had suddenly demanded she create and entire new line of clothes using a special new fabric. Coco had been ecstatic for a chance to finally let her creativity flow, and then Suri ruined that too.

Her boss had micromanaged her for the entire night, and for the most part that meant yelling at her to go faster. When she’d finally finished the dresses, she had sleep deprivation and sore eardrums. She still managed to bring the dresses down for Fashion Week, and that's when Coco learned the truth. Suri had stolen the designs from another seamstress and was using them to cheat her way to victory.

The absolute worst part had to be when Suri gave her the credit for making the dresses. The way Rarity - Suri's competition - had looked at her made her feel awful. The horrified and betrayed expression on that white unicorn’s face felt like a punch in the gut, and it still did. Afterwards, she’d tried confronting her boss, and what a big mistake that had been. Coco replayed the conversation with Suri in her mind.

“How could you do that?” Coco had cried. “It’s so dishonest.”

“That’s the fashion world for you, Assistant,” Suri returned. “It’s everypony for herself.”

“But you cheated,” Coco protested. “You stole her fabrics, copied her designs, and ruined her chance at winning.”

“She never had a chance to begin with,” Suri said indignantly. “And don’t you dare try to take the moral high ground with me, Assistant. Rarity gave me the fabric of her own free will. Not to mention it was you who made those dresses. If you think what I did was wrong then you are just as guilty.”

“But I… I…”

Suri leaned in with her eyes narrowing in spite, forcing Coco to back away in fear, “Now don’t you ever speak out of turn again,” she venomously added. “Are we clear?”

To that, Coco could only whimper.

As she rounded the final corner, Coco did feel a small smile creep onto her face. Suri had at least lost Fashion Week to Rarity. The look of disgust on her face when Rarity was declared the winner had been priceless. Coco genuinely regretted not having a camera.

She walked into the building where Fashion Week was being held, and saw her purple-haired devil of a boss in the lobby, talking with Prim Hemline. Suri was wearing the deceptive face she always used when she was trying to appear innocent and sweet.

What is she up to? Coco wondered. She trotted over slowly to eavesdrop on the conversation.

“Yes, it is quite a shame that I couldn’t find her anywhere,” Suri said to Prim.

“Quite,” she agreed. “I wonder what caused her to run off like that in the middle of the show.”

“I guess we’ll never know,” Suri said, her voice dripping in mock sweetness. It made Coco want to hurl.

“Well, you are correct Miss Polomare. Since Rarity has not shown up by now to claim her reward, I have no choice but to give it to you, seeing as you are the runner up.”

What? Coco screamed internally. Rarity still hadn’t gotten her trophy yet? And worse, it was about to go to Suri of all ponies?

“Thank you, Miss Hemline,” Suri graciously said. “It is such a shame that Rarity never came back, though.”

"Yes," Prim Hemline said through slightly clenched teeth. She walked off, flicking her red tail indignantly like she always did. When she was gone, Suri’s almond eyes suddenly focused on her.

“Assistant,” she snapped, refusing to even acknowledge Coco had a name. “It’s about time you got back. Where’s my coffee?”

Coco held out her hoof, passing the cup to Suri. Before the pink mare could get a sip in, however, she spoke up.

“Uhm… Ms. Polomare?” she squeaked out. The coffee cup halted at Suri’s lips, and she stared daggers at Coco.

“What do you want, Assistant?”

“W-what was that about?”

With a soft groan, Suri lowered the coffee cup. “You mean my conversation with Prim?”

“Yes…” Coco said. “What did she mean when she said you were going to get the trophy?”

“You really aren’t that bright, are you, Assistant?” Suri said smugly. Coco bit her lip, afraid of what she might say to that. “You know I lied to Rarity about Prim being angry with her so she wouldn’t claim first place.”

“I thought you were just delaying the inevitable. ,” Coco replied.

Suri chuckled. “Of course not. If Rarity doesn’t get her trophy soon then I win by default.”

“B-but, you’re cheating again!” Coco stammered out. “That’s wrong.”

“What did I tell you about speaking out of turn?” Suri angrily asked, drilling Coco with her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered, forced to beg for forgiveness again.

“You’re lucky I still have use for you, Assistant,” Suri said. She finally took a sip of the coffee, before gagging and coughing it out. “Ugh, it’s cold.” The pink mare handed the cup back to Coco. “Go back out and try again.”

“Yes Ma’am,” Coco said dejectedly. She turned and began walking back out to the Manehattan streets.

She couldn’t believe it. Suri Polomare was about to cheat Rarity out of winning again. And worse yet, Coco had stood by and let it happen. She felt as awful as when she made Suri those dresses.

The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. Suri had absolutely no right to do this to somepony. She had to be stopped. I have to stand up to her, Coco realized as she was halfway out the door.

Seizing as much courage as she could, Coco turned around and marched back to Suri.

“What are you still doing here, Assistant?” Suri demanded to know. “Go out and-”

“My name is not Assistant!” she declared loudly. “It’s Coco Pommel, and I would appreciate it if you started using it.”

Suri snorted derisively. “Now see here-”

“No!” Coco shouted. “I’m not going to take this anymore. Suri Polomare you are a horrible boss and a terrible pony. You cheated and lied your way through life and I’m not about to let you do the same thing here.”

Several heads turned their way, attention grabbed by the screaming cream-colored mare. Most of them were fellow designers and critics, and that realization caused Suri to panic a little.

“Calm down, Assistant,” she said loudly and to the crowd. “You’re clearly delusional.”

“Shut up!” Coco said. “You know what you’ve done. You took advantage of Rarity’s generosity and stole her fabric and her fashion line. And what’s worse, you made me help you!”

Suri glanced at the crowd of ponies around them, all looking at her despicably. “I swear I never-”

“And even after Rarity won fair and square, you still won’t admit defeat!” Coco continued. “You lied to get her to leave, and you lied to Miss Hemline just now! You don’t deserve that trophy! You’re nothing but a… a…” Coco struggled for the right words. “A stupid bitch!” she finally shouted.

“Assistant, you've crossed the line!” Suri shouted, her pink face now red as a tomato with anger. “You're fired!”

“That might just be the kindest thing you’ve ever done to me,” Coco seethed. “Oh, and before I leave, I should at least get you that coffee you wanted.”

Her hoof a little shaky, Coco flung the cold cup of coffee right at Suri’s face. The lid broke off on impact, sending the dark brown liquid all over Suri’s shocked face. Her stupidly fancy hairstyle was ruined, and she squeaked in surprise.

Coco turned around, stopped, and looked back.

“Oh yeah, one more thing,” she said. “Go buck yourself!”

Upon hearing this, several of the designers -- who also knew just how horrible Suri was -- begin wildly clapping and cheering. Coco gave a happy smile at Suri’s look of pure mortification. She really wished she had a camera now.

She finally began walked off. Her head was held high for all of two seconds before she slammed into a pony that had been right behind her. Brushing part of her blue mane out of her face Coco saw that it was Prim she had smacked into, and she was holding a small golden trophy in one hoof.

“M-Miss Hemline,” she stammered in shock. “I-I uh…”

“Don't worry, I heard everything,” Prim said calmly. She looked past Coco and at Suri, whose face was still plastered in the same expression and had coffee dripping off it. “I think it goes without saying that you are disqualified.”

Coco could barely contain a light giggle from escaping her mouth. Prim turned back to her. “Coco Pommel, was it?” She nodded. Prim handed her the trophy. “Do you think you could take this to Rarity and let her know she’s won?”

“Absolutely,” Coco said, taking the trophy and putting it in her saddlebag. “I’ll go right now!” Taking one last look at the mortified face of Suri Polomare, she bounded out the door, headed out to look for Rarity.

After watching her go, Prim Hemline turned back to Suri and said, “You know, I think she’s right.”

Suri’s eyes darted to Prim, her mouth still agape.

“You really are quite a bitch.”

Author's Note

Just something I wrote this morning while rocking out to Weird Al's newest album. Hope you enjoyed it.