The Misadventures of Anon in Equestria

by Sarcastic Brony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Queen Chrysalis, Random, Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe, Human, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1397

General wackiness, no real story. Just Anon the human having fun with some bigger than canon ponies.

Anon may be the smallest standing in all of Equestria, but he is the largest when if comes to having fun. Always getting himself and ponies around him into shenanigans. Anon likes to take thing up to 11, and many of the ponies let him. Join us as we sit back and watch Anon do things that no human has done before.

This fic contains very large ponies.

Published 2014-07-12 17:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-25 15:22:30 UTC

Well this is weird..

Luna looks down to Anonymous as he works on something.

“Pray tell, what is it that you're working on, Sir Anonymous?”

Anon doesn't give a glance at the pony that is towing over him. Anon has to admit that he likes this pony place. Sure the ponies are giant, but they let him get away with some pretty wacky stuff. He assumes it’s because they are so big and he is so small. If Luna were standing up, his head would probably reach around the middle of her chest. Something he was cool with, again, they usually don't pay him much mind.

Like right now for example. He is currently making a slingshot to launch water balloons at a certain pony. He was able to score some surgical tubing from the hospital in Ponyville, and a sturdy piece of rubber from Sweet apple acres. He’s sure Applejack won't mind him borrowing her stuff. Once he is done tying off each end does he look over to Luna.

“Do you mind lowing your head some?”

Luna finds that Anonymous makes the oddest of requests at times. She likes his company though, so she usually complies. She lowers her head till it is almost face to face with Anon. Even while lying down she still needs to stretch her neck a bit.

“Tilt your head so you horn is slightly lower.” Anon instructs. “There!”

Luna is looking slightly at the ground unsure what he is up to. Anon looks over at the pony to the right of Luna.

“Chrysalis, can you do the same as Luna?” Anon asks.

“Why?” Chrysalis asks with slight annoyance.

Chrysalis doesn't understand why these ponies put up with this creatures antics. He gets away with things that other ponies would be punished for. Then again, she does have to thank him for somehow getting the two sister to forgive her and her race for that wedding thing.

“Come now, Chrysalis. Humor him.” Luna calls out.

Chrysalis rolls her eyes as she also leans her head down as well. Making sure to tilt her head so her horn is pointing towards Ponyville. Anon walks over and grabs Chrysalis’ horn and moves it a little closer to Luna’s.

“Perfect!” He shouts.

Chrysalis and Luna look to each other unsure why he is so happy.

“Just stay still.” Anon tells them.

They watch as Anon takes one part of the surgical tubing and ties it off on Luna’s horn. He then takes the other end and ties it off on Chrysalis’ horn. He claps his hands in excitement as he quickly runs over to a very large bucket. At least five foot tall. He jumps inside as Luna and Chrysalis hold their position. A small water balloon comes flying out, landing in front of them. Anon hops out and picks up the balloon. He places it into the center of the rubber in his makeshift slingshot. With some strain he slowly starts to pull the entire things back.

Both princess Luna and Chrysalis sit there still confused at what he is planning. They watch as Anon pulls the entire contraption back till he can't move it any farther. With a strained voice Anon shouts out loud.

“Suck it, Pinkie!”

He lets go of the entire thing as it quickly whips past the two ponies. Sending the water balloon soaring into sky towards Ponyville. Anon quickly runs past them as he watches the balloons trajectory. Luna and Chrysalis look up and watch the balloon as it flies. A certain pink mare walking merrily down the street comes into sight. Anon is holding his breath as the balloon is about to hit its mark.

That’s until he notices Pinkies tail twitch, then her suddenly diving out of the way. The balloon comes crashing down next to her, not a single drop on her fur.

“Aw man!” Anon shouts. He quickly looks back to Chrysalis and Luna. “Can you believe that?!”

Chrysalis removes the tubing from her horn with a unamused glare towards Anon. Luna removes the tubing as well but can't help but smile at her small friends child like spirit.

“Better luck next time, Sir Anonymous.” Luna says with a giggle.

He just falls to the ground with a groan. He was hoping to get that pink mare this time. He looks up into the sky feeling rather blue. That’s until he notices a certain Rainbow pony flying around. He jumps to his feet in an instant. He runs up to Luna.

“Quick, toss me at Rainbow Dash!” He shouts.

Luna wasn't too sure about this one. She didn't wish to see her friend harmed. As it turns out, it wasn't really her choice.

“Allow me!” Chrysalis wraps Anon in her magic and tosses him like a dart towards the flying mare.

“Why did you do such a thing!” Luna yells at Chrysalis.

“He’ll be fine.” He waves it off.

Rainbow is currently going about her normal routine. Clearing these clouds can be really boring, but it’s part of her job. It’s really peaceful up here in the clouds as well. Ponyville can be rather noisy, especially with Pinkie around. But in the sky, she can just fly here and enjoy the silence.

“Raaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnbbbbbbbooooowwwwwww Daaaassshhhh!”

Rainbow doesn't get a second to register what is happening as something collides into her while in mid-air. Did somepony throw a hoof ball at her?! She feels whatever it is start to climb onto her back.

“Fly my pet, fly!” She hears a cackle rise from behind her.

She looks over her shoulder to find Anon mounted on her back.

“Anon?” She asked confused. “How the hay in Equestria did you even get up here?!”

He takes a lock of her rainbow mane as makeshift reins. He digs his heels into her forelegs, which does little more than scratch an itch she had.

“I said fly my pet!” He shouts. “To Canterlot! We ride against the Equestrian princess’!”

“Anon, I don't have time to play right now!” Rainbow says annoyed.

“Come on!” He shouts. “The sky is clear! This might be the only chance we get to take over Equestria!”

She shakes her head. “No, Anon. I told you that we aren't going to take over Equestria. At least not until you get Applejack to join our cause.” She says playing his game.

He rubs his chin as he speaks in a deeper voice. “You speak truths that clear my mind. The apple clan is strong, their will unbreakable. To have them on our side would assure our victory. It seems my revenge will have to wait.”

Rainbow rolls her eyes. “Looks like it. So where do you want to me drop you off at?” She asks.

He points over to the the small hill outside of Ponyville.

“Return me to my two informants.” He says.

Rainbow quickly flies over and spots Luna and Chrysalis sitting on the hill. She lands softly in front of them. Using one of her wings, she stretches it to the ground as Anon walks down it as if it were a set of stairs. He walks over to Luna as she gives him a short nuzzle, one that is ignored by Anon.

“You are dismissed!” Anon waves Rainbow off.

She shakes her head some at that, but quickly takes her leave. She has some pranks she can be pulling right about now. Anon returns to his seat next to Luna. It definitely has been a good day today. The three of them watch the sun slowly descend over the horizon. Luna bumps Anon with her muzzle.

“Time for us to return to Canterlot.” She tells him

He gives a nod. “Yeah, seems like it.” He looks over to Chrysalis. “Swissy.”

Chrysalis gives a small growl at Anons name for her.

“Just leave before I flatten you.” She warns.

He doesn't seem to react to her threat. He just shrugs as he walks over to her and hugs her, but being his size, it’s more like leaning against her with arms wide open.

“Good night.” He says, walking away towards Luna, climbing up her wing and onto her back.

Nothing else is said as they quickly take off into the coming night sky. Anon looks towards the approaching castle. One day, one day he would rules these ponies with an iron first.

It could be better

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