Long Story Short, Stuff Happened.
It was going to be one of those days.
Twilight couldn’t explain why she felt that way as she woke up, she just knew it would be. Her first instinct was to ride it out in bed, roll over and go back to sleep, but the distant sound of humming of her draconic assistant/brother/slave and the faint aroma of pancakes wafting up the stairs quickly dismissed that notion.
With one final sigh, she reluctantly threw the covers from her body and dragged herself from the soft mattress, trying to ignore its soothing calls for her to return to its warm loving embrace.
“No Twilight, come back,” it seemed to say. “He’ll never love you like I do.”
Twilight shook her head, swiftly exiting her bedroom.
“Man that bed has gotten clingy lately,” she muttered to herself as she began descending the stairs to the main floor of the library she inhabited.
As she strode across the room she cast a quick glance around at all her precious books to make sure nopony had disrupted their perfect arrangement while she slept. It wouldn’t be the first time she had woken up to find a stranger sifting through her shelves. The nerve of some ponies, rummaging through someone else’s home then trying to justify it by saying it was a public library; Twilight would have none of it.
Satisfied her domain was just perfect, she entered the kitchen to find standing beside the stove, wearing a pink frilly apron and humming Sapphire Shores. Sometimes she really worried about that boy.
“Good morning Spike,” Twilight greeted in the most chipper voice she could manage. She hadn’t forgotten her feeling that morning, but she could always face breakfast with some enthusiasm. “What’s on the menu?”
“Hay bacon,” Spike replied cheerfully.
Twilight frowned, tapping her nuzzle curiously.
“Need to get that checked out,” she muttered to herself before adding louder, “Great!”
As she waited for Spike to finish, her eyes were drawn to the newspaper lying across the table. Reaching over, she dragged it her way, reading the headline.
Ponyville’s Premiere Party Pony Arrested In Drug Scandal
Twilight rolled her eyes and flicked to the next page. She would have expected nothing less of Pinkie Pie, the hilarious image of Pinkie’s muzzle covered in powdered sugar at Twilight’s last birthday party springing to mind, but she knew the Equestrian Mail was notorious for printing the most ridiculously ludicrous stories. It pretty much sold purely on the merits of being a joke newspaper, the next few stories being proof of that.
Apple, Apple, Pear? The Dark Secret Of The Apple Family Revealed.
Rarity Speaks Out: “More like, who *haven’t** I slept with?”*
Prince Blueblood’s Autobiography Breaks Records By Selling Zero Copies.
Twilight sighed and closed the newspaper over. Whatever was the source of her feeling wouldn’t be found in the Equestrian Mail.
“Don’t we get delivered any real newspapers?” Twilight asked disgruntled.
“Not since the Gabby Gums thing,” Spike informed her, setting a plate of hay bacon down in front of her.
Twilight began tucking in as Spike took the seat opposite her, drumming his claws on the table surface in an agitated fashion. Twilight stopped eating and looked up, fully intent on telling him to cease his annoying activity when she happened to take notice of how clean and shiny his scales were looking this morning.
“What are you all polished up for?” Twilight asked, curiosity overcoming her previous irritation.
“I’m gonna do it Twilight,” Spike answered with determination. “Today is the day I finally tell Rarity how I feel about her.”
“Oh,” Twilight uttered, quickly sliding the newspaper off the table with her magic and throwing it in the bin.
“I’ve got it all planned out,” Spike continued unaware of what Twilight had just done. “I’ve saved up all my allowances and sold all my gems so I could book a reservation at that really fancy restaurant Rarity likes. I’m going to go straight to the Boutique after I clean up here and invite her out.”
“Well that sound like a very well thought out plan,” Twilight replied automatically. “Just be sure to be home before… Wait a second! Since when did you start getting allowances?”
“Since you stopped counting the bits Celestia sends you,” Spike muttered under his breath.
“What?” Twilight demanded.
“Nothing, nothing!” Spike declared, hoping off his seat and carrying his own empty plate over to the sink to be washed.
Twilight frowned. She didn’t remember Spike actually stopping to eat since he sat down. Shrugging it off as one of those things she returned to her own breakfast.
“So what will you be doing today?” Spike asked from the sink.
“I have no plans,” Twilight replied her mouth full before adding, “yet.”
She glanced up at the kitchen clock, trying to ignore the wide, terrifying cat eyes that moved from side to side with every second that ticked by. One day she would destroy that unholy thing and tell Fluttershy it was Spike’s fault and there was no need to replace the housewarming present. Today however she just needed to know the time.
Ten to ten. Shouldn’t be long now.
Twilight looked down at her remaining food, would she have time to rush back to bed and wrap herself up under the covers?
An ear-piercing scream broke through the silence, causing Spike to jump slightly, head spinning to the window.
Evidently not.
“That sounded like it came from town!” Spike exclaimed.
“Uhuh,” Twilight replied half-heartedly, picking up another piece of bacon.
“That’s it? Just uhuh?” Spike replied, giving Twilight a deadpan stare. “You aren’t going to go investigate or help, you’re just going to sit there and eat your bacon.”
Twilight took a long, noisy slurp of her orange juice.
“In a minute,” she said at last.
Yup, it was definitely going to be one of those days.
Long Story Short, Stuff Happened.
Twilight whipped her mouth with a napkin once her plate was cleared. The screams persisted outside; Spike would occasionally cast a worried glance to the window or a scathing look to Twilight.
“You know,” Twilight said at last, causing Spike to look up hopefully. “I bet I could write my own newspaper.”
Spike slumped, giving Twilight a deadpan look.
“Seriously? That’s what you’re worrying about right now?”
“Well ponies need to hear the news, and everypony loves me,” Twilight pointed out as if it were obvious. Spike simply stared at her, his face expressionless. “I’ll need a name, something catchy, like… Sparkle in the Twilight!”
“Wow,” Spike uttered, turning back to the sink. “Just wow.”
“And what’s your problem mister?!” Twilight demanded.
“That sounds really gay,” Spike informed her.
“Coming from you?!” Twilight snapped back.
“Wha…” Spike began, looking hurt.
“Well forget you Spike,” Twilight interrupted, leaping to her hooves. “It’s my newspaper I’ll call it whatever I want.”
With that she stormed from the kitchen, leaving Spike to return to the dishes, a sullen expression on his face. Less than a minute later, Twilight’s head poked around the kitchen door.
“Also I’ve decided that I won’t be calling it Sparkle in the Twilight,” she informed him, before quickly adding, “That is my own opinion which has absolutely nothing to do with what you said!”
With that her head whipped away once more, just in time to avoid a ceramic mug flying for her face.
“Now, if I’m going to make a newspaper,” Twilight began aloud to herself, ignoring the smashing noise. “I’m going to need…”
Notepad.
Pen.
Camera.
Cliché reporter hat.
“Pinkie really has stashes for just about everything,” Twilight remarked, pulling the headgear from behind the adult section of the library. “Now, I just need a story…”
Twilight began muttering to herself as she walked back towards the kitchen; she stood in the doorway, chewing on the tip of her pen.
“Maybe something to do with…” Twilight began.
However what she was considering would forever go unknown, as at that very moment the wall of her kitchen was smashed apart and a herd of what looked like cows began stampeding through her house, swiftly smashing out the opposite wall.
Twilight stared blankly at her now levelled kitchen, the sound of screaming once again annoyingly prevalent.
“Spike!” Twilight yelled, forgetting he had left to go to Rarity’s. “There’s a mess in the kitchen! I’m not sure yet, but I’m pretty sure it’s your fault. If it’s not cleaned by the time I get back I’m docking your allowance!”
With that said, Twilight turned and walked over to the front door of her library, finally succumbing to the screaming demands of her neighbours.
“I cannot catch a break,” Twilight moaned as she stepped outside in time to see the same herd of cow like creatures smash through another house. “Still, this might make for an interesting story. Two birds and all that…”
Feeling a little better about facing whatever new horrors the day was offering, Twilight began trotting towards the town centre, just in time to see a hysterically screaming Mayor Mare galloping towards her.
“Oh Twilight, It’s awful! Simply awful!” the mayor wailed once she was officially in Twilight’s face. “You must do something!”
“Remind what exactly you do around here mayor,” Twilight asked in a bored tone. “Or better yet, how many ponies actually ran against you in the last election?”
The mayor sobered up immediately, giving Twilight a withering look.
“Really, the town’s in danger and you’re going to be snarky?” she asked rhetorically.
“The town’s always in danger,” Twilight reminded her, deadpanning.
“And that’s your area of expertise,” the mayor stated, darting behind Twilight and pushing her along the road. “Not mine.”
“Oh mayor,” Twilight said laughing, allowing herself to be taxied along. “That implies you actually have expertise.”
The mayor began grumbling to herself, her grip on Twilight tightening.
Twilight snapped a quick picture of the cow creatures as they ran by once more, a worryingly still pony being dragged along by the rear member.
