"So... how exactly does this thing work?" Dark Side wondered aloud as he walked home from Canterlot Gardens after picking up a peculiar statue. The statue itself seemed to be of an animal or a being of some sort. It certainly wasn't a common animal, even if that's what it was. It had the arms and legs of multiple different creatures, making the statue very peculiar. He scooted it a bit more on the bed, so it would not break.
Dark Side walked into his house and sat the thing on his bed as he went to make himself some coffee.
"It wouldn't hurt to fix your bed every once in awhile! These wrinkles a chafing my back!" a voice said, seemingly from nowhere.
Dark Side flinched and looked back, but nothing at all was changed. No one at all was in the room besides h and the statue. He resumed fixing his coffee, shaking it off to be his imagination screwing with him.
"Hey! Do not. Ignore me! Pick me up now!"
This time Dark Side turned and noticed that the voice came from his bed and walked towards it suspiciously glaring at the statue. "Your not talking right?" He asked the statue, half expecting to get a response.
"Of course I am! Who else could be?l" The statue asked nonchalantly
Dark Side did a double take at this, before slapping himself."This has gotta be a dream." He mumbled to himself, convincing himself that the voice was merely in his head and not a real occurrence.
"I said don't ignore me!" The statue said before Dark Side picked it up and threw it across his house. He was hoping this wasn't happening, but it seemed this was to real.
"Stay back you voodoo piece of crap " he said, grabbing a knife our of his drawer with magic. "Or I might do something you'll regret."
"I'm a statue for goodness sake! Is that really going to hurt me? The statue asked.
Now that he thought about it it did seem to be a very failed attempt at protection considering his so called "assailant" was a statue. He placed the knife back in the drawer and after a twenty second silence, he spoke up.
"Okay, first off, who are you and how are you talking to me?" Dark Side asked, still half hoping to wake up under his maroon covers any second now.
"Why! I'm offended you don't know who I am? The Lord of Laughs, The King of Chaos, I, am, Discord!" The statue declared rather loudly, as Dark.Side levitate it onto a table.
"Yeah...never heard of you." Dark Side said, honestly answering his response.
"Wait, are you serious?" Discord asked hoping he was blowing hot air.
"Yep, about as serious as a gunman during a robbery." Dark Side stayed, trying to attest to how serious he was at the time.
"Oh for the love of..." Discord started before being cut off by Dark Side.
"So why are you a statue, exactly?" Dark Side asked, still not exactly comfortable with the idea of as speaking to a seemingly inanimate object.
"I can't say I remember..." said Discord in a sarcastic tone
Dark Side attempted to do what he saw in the human world and flip Discord off, but to no avail, as his digits were turned into hooves for the sake of being a pony. "Just tell me already, or..." Dark Side said menacingly as he opened the door to his bathroom and flushed the toilet. He pointed at it as if he was going to put something in there. A certain Dracineques statue.
"W...wait!!!" Yelled Discord, his voice much more clear than before. "Ill talk! Just not the toilet! I'll do anything you want!"
"Tch.. that matters not to me. How much are you gonna do, being a statue?" Dark Side asked, raising an eyebrow as he walked toward the kitchen segment of his house as he finished his coffee. He placed it in a line green teacup and levitate some cream from his drawer. "So.. got any friends?" Dark Side asked.
"Friends? I am the King of Chaos! Friends are not needed when your me!" Discord said, his statue illuminating as he said each word, indicating that he was talking.
Dark Side scratched the back of his mane. "Well, you seem to be pretty old. Any children?"
Discord stayed silent for a bit. His statue illuminated as if he was going to say something, but couldn't. Somehow, a single tear swept its way down from the statue's eye. "I... haven't seen her in 4 years."
"4 years, huh? Where is she now?" Dark Side asked, interested in this mystery pony.
"A...mental institution." Discord said reluctantly.
"Wha----?! How old is this kid?!"
"5 years old." Discord said, his voice cracking a bit.
Dark Side jerked up. He squinted his eyes, as if he knew something. "What's her name?"
"Screw...ball.." Discord said, now fully crying.
If Dark Side hadn't heard a God cry, he did then. It was tragic. His cries seemed to directly pierce his heart, like a steel cloves dagger, striking its target. But that was not his main concern. The child Discord was talking about. He remembered her name. In court, 4 years ago.
"Discord...let me tell ya a story, y'see."
It was 5 years ago. In the Canterlot courtroom # 2.
"Court is now in session for the trial of Screwball." Said the Judge loudly. On one side of the courtroom, stood Dark Side. On the other side, the defense's side, was a mare with a dark pink coat, and a mid of pink for her mane. Cheerilee.
Author's Note
Actually, this had been in the works for about a month or two now. I simply forgot about it. But after cleaning it up a bit, I think it turned out pretty decent. Thanks for reading.
Any questions, concerns, or comments? Please PM me or leave in comments, thank you.