Omnius' Travels: Equestria

by Nathan Traveler

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Slice of Life, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy
Length: 172822

The Traveler of Good meets a certain bunch of Ponies.

Out in the vast expanse of the multiverses, there are thousands, upon thousands of stories, waiting to be heard. Tales of knights in shining armor ride alongside stories of an old gunslinger seeking redemption for his past mistakes. Majestic dragons fly with monstrous ships that can travel the stars. Three beings Travel throughout all of Time, Space, and Matter, across all of the realities and dreams, to make sure that those stories won't be forgotten.

I just so happen to be The Traveler of Good. Pretty cool, huh?

I can show you all of these. I can show you fear in a handful of dust, and I can show you the shadows that follow the light. I can show you questions that can forever go unanswered, and answers that can go forever unquestioned. But you can only see them if you take that first step, and listen to my tales. My only piece of advice? Make sure you go to the bathroom first. This might take a while.

~Special thanks to SeekerofD for the amazing cover art!
~And thanks to DrahcirAloer and Shadow Horizons for being the editors!
~Still want to see the Crossovers? Go check out "Omnius' Travels: Tales From The Other Side"
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/31082/Omnius%27-Travels%3A-Tales-From-The-Other-Side

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-07 01:45:10 UTC

Indiana Omnius and The Perfect Banana Nut Muffin

**Chapter 3:

Indiana Omnius and the Perfect Banana Nut Muffin.

(Takes place Three Days before Episode 1 of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)**

I had been helping out around the barn for a couple of days now, and it wasn’t just apples I had to help take care of. We also had to build some temporary add-ons to the barn so it could hold the entire Apple Family.

Let me say that again: We had to make the already MASSIVE barn, BIGGER so it could hold the entire Apple Family. Digest that thought in your head for a second. No, seriously, take your time. I can wait…Done? Good. Let’s get on with it then.

“So what about the house? Can’t some of your family stay there?” I asked Big Mac as we each hauled a pile of lumber over to the construction site.

“Eyup,” He replied, setting the wood down as if it were nothing. Damn, but I had seen huge gorillas (No, seriously. They were REAL gorillas) get tired after lifting as much as Big Mac had in that single load, but Ole’ Mac kept on trucking.

“Huh. Well alright then,” I set my significantly smaller pile down next to his and tried to salvage some of my already too-far-gone dignity.

As we started lifting the boards (a very strange process that I will not go into) into place, I heard Applejack say, “Consarn it!”

By this time, I’d learned that when Applejack said, ‘Consarn it,’ she meant it as the ponified version of my favorite curse (Next to ‘Ye Gods’ of course)  ‘Damn it,’ (I’m still trying to decide if I can swear around ponies yet. For all I know, Kids could be watching and/or reading this!).  Big Mac and I glanced at each other, and he said, “Y’all best go see what’s wrong. I’ll finish getting these in place.”

I nodded and walked over to where Applejack was glaring at a bucket of overturned nails. Naturally, seeing this, I said, “Let me guess: You need help so you can NAIL this problem?” Zing! I’ve got a million of ‘em folks!

She glanced at me, smiled, and said, “Sorta. See, we don’t have enough nails to finish building the rest of the rooms.”

“Well that’s not good. Hey, if you want, I could go into town and get you some more,” I suggested, wanting to see the sights.

Applejack glanced at me, and said hesitantly, “I’m not sure that’s such a good Idea. I mean, you still don’t know nothing about your memories, and you barely anything about Ponyville, or Equestria in general!”

“Sure, but what if Ponyville has something that will help me remember? Plus, I’m pretty sure you’ve told me enough about it that I can at least get some nails!” And maybe a doughnut. Ooh! Or maybe a muffin, I could really go for a muffin right now!

“I dunno,” She said in a neutral tone, but I could tell she was relenting.

“Seriously! Come on, it’s just some nails. I could go to town, take in the sights, and see if I can find something that will help out with the…what’s it called again? I forgot… Kidding!”

“Alright. But since you’re going into town to buy some nails, you’re gonna need some bits,” She said, walking into the house.

For those of you who have no idea what bits are (How is that possible? I mean, you’re fans of this universe already! You know more about it than I do!), it’s basically Equestrian currency. They’re small, hard gold coins, or coins that are painted gold. All I know is that I can’t shake the feeling that if I collect a hundred of them I’ll get an extra life.

While I was reminiscing on fond memories of me and the Bros. stomping on some goombas, Applejack walked back out with a set of brown weathered saddlebags. She tossed them on my back, and I heard the distinct Clinking sound of coinage.

“There’s enough bits in there for you to get some nails, and I threw in a few extra so you could get yourself a snack or something while you’re there,” When I opened my mouth to protest, she went over me, saying, “And don’t worry about the extra money. You’ve been working harder than I thought you would and you’ve earned it.”

I honestly felt kind of touched at that. It’s a rare occasion when you can meet someone who’s honest enough to do something like that, more so when it’s someone you barely know. I swallowed and said in a slightly low voice, “Uh, thanks. I guess I’ll be off then.”

“Be back in time for supper! Oh, and a quick word of advice. Until you can get your memory back, try to avoid anything that’s overly pink and poofy.”

I did a small double-take at that and realized she wasn’t joking.

“Alrighty. I’ll avoid any cotton candy that I see,” I replied carefully, not sure what to say.

“No, it’s not that. See, there’s this pony named Pinkie-Pie, and she’s sort of a…party mane-iac” (Ha, that’s punny) “And she likes throwing parties for new ponies who come to Ponyville. And with your amnesia and all-“

“I would be overwhelmed by the questions and most likely pass out from trying to remember them,” I interrupted (Ha! For once it’s not me getting cut off!) remembering what had happened to one of my first friends that I had met when I started traveling. Long story short, I still had nightmares about it. Luckily those dreams probably wouldn’t show up in this story (Sucks to be you, huh reader! Now you’re gripped with curiosity! And if you’re not, then…well, shut up.)

“Uh, actually, yeah.”

“Well then, I’ll just make sure that I have a good hiding place with me at all times. Take care A.J!” I said, taking off down the road. When I reached a small cluster of trees that would hide me from the sight of anyone at the farm, I slowed down, and realized something: I had been here for a few days now, but between working on the farm, getting struck by lightning (Which was a shocking development. ZING!), and then being an amnesiac, I hadn’t had time to see if some of my Auras would work.

Um, yeah. Auras. Alright, I’ve heard that there’s supposedly this whole, “Spiritual Aura,” thing that those Buddha-Zen people are obsessed with. You know like if someone has a calming aura or maybe some sort of aura that radiates fear, right? Spiritual balance and all that Zen?

Well, it’s different for me. See, an Aura is when I super-charge one of my abilities at the cost of weakening others and altering my appearance. For example, say I used a Fire Aura. That means that all of my abilities take on a flaming aspect, but I can’t use Water, or Grass type abilities (Ye Gods, I just realized that this sounds a lot like Pokémon) and my hair suddenly catches fire and pisses off any smoke detectors in the vicinity. The same is true if I used a Wind Aura: Totally awesome Wind-ability boost, drastic decline of my Earth and Fire, and my clothes start rustling in the wind.

And it’s not just elements that can have auras. I also can boost things like Strength, Wisdom, Magic, Music (Hey, don’t laugh! Music Aura saved my life in Realities that are Broadway based and made me get seventh place in American Idol) and the one that I was about to boost: Speed.

Oh-hohoho, Speed Aura. Personally, that is one of my favorite Auras. It was probably the second or third Aura that I ever learned how to use, and man is it awesome! True story actually, I learned how to use this Aura when I met a certain blue hedgehog (Hey, how else was I supposed to keep up with him? He’s the Fastest thing Aliiiiiiiiiive! (Um, if you didn’t get it, you were supposed to read that last part in song)), which might explain why every time I changed into it, my hair would get a bluish tone, and my clothes would change to blue and white.

Crap, I got distracted again. Sorry about that. Feel free to smack me upside the head if it happens again (Oh wait, you can’t, YOU’RE on the other side of the screen! Hahaha- OUCH! Okay, scratch that. Some of you can reach that far.)

I had no idea if it would work in pony form, but I figured, “What the heck, worst that could happen would be me looking like an idiot and that already happens a lot.”

Closing my eyes, I focused on nothing but thoughts of speed. Racecars, Speedy Gonzales, Scout, Fat guys on bikes going downhill, and those kinds of things. I’ll admit it, about halfway through that thought process I started hearing the Green Hill Zone theme start playing in my head. I felt the old, familiar tingling sensation and then opened my eyes. I looked at my body, er, coat, and noticed that it now had a bluish tint to it, and my tail now had streaks of blue running through it. I bet if I could see my face, my eyes would have flecks of green in them, and my hair would look windswept.

“Sweet, it works,” I said, nodding in satisfaction, “Now the real question is this: Where the hay is Ponyville?”

I then smacked myself in the face with my hoof and said, “Duh! It’s the clump of buildings over there! Man, I can’t believe I didn’t notice that before!”

With a grin, I took off at a full sprint down the road and ran toward Ponyville, reveling in the speed.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Minus a couple of accidents involving a chicken crossing the road and a grouchy skunk (close call on that last one), the trip to Ponyville was relatively peaceful. Taking cover behind an old oak tree that was just on the outskirts of the town, I dismissed the Aura and then collapsed for a moment while lights flashed in my eyes.

I forgot to mention the downside of the Auras: They make me feel exhausted! Seriously, the more complicated the aura, the more energy it drains. Luckily, like I mentioned before, my Speed Aura was one of the Auras that I’d had for a while, so I could actually shake off the after-effects pretty quickly.

Wobbling a little, I stood up and walked into town.

The first thing I noticed was the color. Everywhere I looked my eyes were assaulted by a bright barrage of colors. It was like a rainbow had crash-landed where the town was and the ponies built housing materials out of said rainbow. It was THAT colorful. Oh, and then let’s not forget to throw in the extremely colorful ponies! Being around the Apple Family for the past few days had given me a few suspicions about the coloring, but I definitely hadn’t expected anything on this kind of magnitude! All of the ponies were in virtually every color imaginable; I mean there was green, purple, red, pink, yellow, magenta-

Wait, hold on a second…pink…Flashback sequence: INITIATE!

“And make sure to bake at 360 degrees Fahrenheit for at least thirty minutes, and if the cake still isn’t-“

Too far! Take two:

“Be back in time for supper! Oh, and a quick word of advice. Until you can get your memory back, try to avoid anything that’s overly pink and poofy.”

Oh yeah! I took a closer look at the pink pony and noticed that along with her bright pink coat, she had slightly darker, poofy hair and a trio of balloons as her cutie-mark. She hopped along, smiling at who knows what and giving off a radiance of happiness…Oh, and she was headed this way.

“Cripes!” I yelped. Frantically looking around, I spotted an open barrel and hopped into it without bothering to check its contents. Luckily, thanks to my time spent with the Russians, I had a lot of practice involving a certain trick called Contortionism. It hurt like heck, but I could manage for a few minutes.

Spotting a convenient hole in the side, I put my eye to it and watched as Pinkie hopped merrily along her way, turned a corner, and vanished from sight. I let out a sigh of relief and tried to get out of the barrel. After a couple of minutes shaking the barrel, I got a hoof loose, and I used that free hoof to pull myself out, more or less in one piece.

I dusted myself off and then noticed the odd looks that many of the ponies were giving me. I chuckled nervously and said, “Uh, can anypony tell me where the nearest hardware store is?”

I felt a light tap on my shoulder, and I turned and saw a mint green (I was being serious when I said EVERY color) unicorn with a lyre shaped cutie-mark smiling at me.

“You must be new in town,” She said casually.

“Is it that obvious?” I replied, chagrined.

“Only a little bit. Plus, that barrel you just crawled out of was in front of the Hardware store.”

I looked up and sure enough there was a sign that had a picture of a hammer and wrench in an ‘X’ shape that pretty much screamed, ‘Home Depot, right here genius!’

“Oh. Well that’s pretty convenient. Thank you, um…”

“Lyra,” She supplied helpfully, holding her hoof out.

“Thanks Lyra. My name’s Omnius. Nice to meet you,” I said, shaking her hoof.

“You too. Well, see you around,” Lyra said, walking away and meeting up with a vanilla colored mare. Sneaking what they thought were covert looks at me, they immediately started talking about stuff. Stuff that I wasn’t really interested in, especially when I realized that the barrel wasn’t exactly empty as I had hoped it was.

Wincing, I arched my neck and used my teeth to grab a nail that had lodged itself in my left flank.

“Heh heh, Uh, I found the nails,” I said awkwardly. Trying to recover my lost dignity, I walked into the store and managed to buy a bucket of nails, which were then stuffed carefully in my saddlebags.

Emphasis on carefully.  There’s an old phrase that works with this situation: Fool me once, shame on you. Get a nail stabbed into my butt…shame on me.

I walked out of the store and wondered what I should do now. I still had a side-pocket filled with bits and the rest of the day to do what I fancied. I could visit the library and read up on the history, or maybe find a music hall and listen to this world’s music, or maybe…

…Find out where that delicious, heavenly, mouthwatering aroma was coming from!

I felt myself being lifted as I inhaled the aroma of baked food and quite frankly, I didn’t care. As long as it gets me to the source of that delicious aroma, I would be a very happy Traveler! As I reveled in the smell, I felt myself suddenly dropped onto the ground in a very painful manner. Grumbling, I got up and then went silent as a heavenly chorus started singing in my head, as I looked at…paradise!

Okay, maybe not paradise, but it was pretty damn close!

The building (that I was still staring in awe at) was built exactly like a gingerbread house, only the windows had all sorts of sweets that would make even the Subway guy decide to cheat on his diet.

I walked in, and instantly spotted…it….

There, lying on top of a pile of freshly baked muffins, was the most beautiful piece of culinary art I had ever seen! It had a light, golden top, bits of brown, delicious pecans stuck out at almost perfectly chosen spots, and a soft yellow square of butter melted slowly on top of it…that’s right. I was falling for a muffin. Not just any muffin, but the PERFECT smelling, PERFECT looking, PERFECT tasting (I bet) Banana Nut muffin. The King of Muffins, The duke of baked goods!

I dashed to the counter and asked the blue pony calmly, “How much for the Banana Nut muffin?”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Five minutes later (It had taken me a while to dig the coins out, okay?) I walked out of Sugar Cube Corner with a small bag clenched in my mouth and the urge to squeal in delight being firmly suppressed. My stomach roared at the prospect of devouring the muffin and I heartily agreed.

Unfortunately, as my attention was somewhat, erm, diverted, shall we say? I didn’t look where I was going, and I felt, more than saw, a wall of gray and blond collide with me, causing my muffin to go flying into the air. I let out a Homer-esque yelp and did my best impression of a baseball player by diving into the dirt, barely catching the freefalling muffin. I sighed in relief, set it gently on a nearby table, and turned to see a cross eyed pegasus pony frantically gathering a bunch of letters that had gone flying when we collided.

Looking mournfully at my muffin, I told it quietly, “Later,” and then went to help gather the scattered letters.

“Oh, Sorry about that!” The pegasus said distractedly, still trying to get the letters.

“No, you’re fine. Here, let me help you with that,” I gathered the rest of the letters in my mouth (How I did that without ripping the paper or gagging, I don’t know) and stuffed them in her satchel. It reminded me of a mailman’s pack, and I instantly dubbed her a mail pony.

“Thanks,” she said, sighing in relief when we finished rounding up all of the letters.

“So...are you a mail pony or something?” I asked, saying the first thing that popped into my head. Oh yeah, Master of Subtlety, right here people.

“Oh yeah! I deliver mail to ponies all over Ponyville! Although I do go to other places in Equestria, I like it better when I just have to make the Ponyville run. It lets me stay close to my daughter,” She said smiling. (Geez, the ponies around here sure like smiling. Then again, is that really a bad thing?)

“Really? Is she a Pegasus pony too?”

“No, she’s a unicorn,” she replied nonplussed.

I paused, not sure what to say. I decided to do what I always did in those situations and said what was on my mind, “Well, I didn’t see that one coming.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I just thought that since you’re a Pegasus pony, and then…Okay, saying that out loud makes me sound like an idiot,” I said, blushing. Open mouth, insert hoof.

“Are you new here?” She asked, looking at me (At least I think she was. That cross-eyed thing was confusing me but not in the bad way).

“Yeah, I think so. Well, I can’t be sure. I got struck by lightning a couple of days ago, and now I can’t remember a thing!” I decided to get the amnesia thing out of the way early, this way I could avoid any touchy questions and not have to lie about it.

“You can’t remember anything? Anything at all?” She asked with real concern on her face (Real concern kids! And it also comes with Kung-Fu grip!)

“Well, I can remember my name, and how to breathe. That’s a good thing, right?”

She giggled and held out her hoof, saying “I’m Ditzy Doo.”

“I’m Omnius,” I took her hoof and shook it, then realized something: I don’t have opposable thumbs or fingers for that matter. How the heck were we…Okay, you know what? I probably shouldn’t ask anymore. I’ll just end up more confused.

“Thanks for helping me with my letters,” She sighed and then said in a sad tone, “Although I think I’m gonna be late now…”

I felt a pang of guilt, and the natural instinct for me to make her feel better took over. I looked around and my gaze fell on my muffin bag.

GUILT! NO! DON’T MAKE ME DO WHAT I THINK YOU’RE GONNA MAKE ME DO!

I grabbed the muffin bag in my hoof (HOW?), held it out to her, and barely keeping my regret out of my voice, said, “Would you like a muffin?”

DAMN YOU GUILT! ME AND MY STOMACH HATE YOU!

Her face lit up in joy, and she snatched the bag from my hoof, instantly devouring the muffin.

“I’ll take that as a ‘Hex Yes?’” I said, smirking.

She grinned nervously and said apologetically, “Sorry, I just-“

“You don’t have to say anything. I’d act the same way if someone offered me a soda,” I then cursed silently, as I didn’t know if there was soda or not. Then again, if what Applejack told me is true, they have MAGIC. If they can have magic, they at least had better have Root beer!

She giggled a bit more and then said, “Hey, I actually don’t have very many letters left to deliver. If you want, after I’m done, I could show you around town.”

I opened my mouth to say yes, when I caught a glimpse of pink hop around the corner.

“Maybe not now, but some other time would be great! Nice meeting you Ditzy!” I called out, galloping down the road full speed.

“Oh okay. Bye Omnius! Hope you enjoy Ponyville!” She called out.

I turned my head back and noticed that Pinkie Pie had heard Ditzy say that. Her eyes widened and she started looking around, trying to spot the ‘New Pony.’ I dashed inside a random building and tried to hide.

After a few minutes of silence, I peeked out of a nearby window and didn’t see any sign of Pinkie. I sighed in relief and turned to apologize to the owner of the house…

…And saw a tan pony pointing a futuristic looking pen at me.

“Whatever it is I did, I swear: I didn’t do it!” I said, lifting my hooves in the classic, ‘DON’T SHOOT!’ position. Oh yeah, I’m definitely the epitome of ‘Cool in the face of danger.’ Don’t laugh! When someone points a strange looking device at you, it’s more than likely a weapon of some sort that could easily make me into Omni ala Flambé!

As the pony with the weird pen came closer, I noticed that he had an hourglass cutie-mark and he seemed…familiar somehow. As I tried to recall where I might have seen him before (and how he was going to talk to me when he had a pen in his mouth), he practically shoved the pen-thing into my face and said, “I know who you are, Traveler!” Okay, other than it being a little garbled, due to having to hold said pen, it came out pretty clear. Oh, and on a side note: He was speaking in a British accent.

I felt the blood drain from my head and I said, “What? Me? Nope, just your average ordinary everyday amnesiac lightning bolt victim!”

“Don’t think that you can fool me!” He retorted, stabbing the pen at me.

I reacted in the only way that I knew how: I punched the pen right out of his mouth and let out a crazy Bruce-Lee yell. I’ll admit that the punch didn’t really do much, but the yell did. See, when someone (or somepony) thinks that their hostage is a quiet, nervous, and otherwise inexperienced, they’ll let their guard down. That’s when you take advantage by making lots of noise and doing something unexpected, and while Traveling is what I’m best at, I am DAMN good at improvising!

It did what I meant it to do, and it sent the pen flying across the room. More importantly, it gave me some room to fight.

Ha! This guy didn’t know what he was getting into! I’ve been trained in Wu-Shu, Kung-Fu, Boxing, and twenty other dangerous words! I’m a near-master at Hand to hand fighting!

I leaned back to let loose a right hook, when I got a swift buck to the face. I then realized my mistake: HAND to HAND combat. Where in that equation did you see the word ‘Hoof’? WHERE I ask you!?

Well, long action sequence short, between the both of us trying to trash each other, we managed to trash his house pretty badly. I know for a fact that I got quite a few clocks broken over my head!

What really ended the fight though was me picking up the pen and saying, “Stand back! I don’t know what I’m doing!”

“I would say so! You’re not even holding a real weapon! That’s a sonic screwdriver!” He said triumphantly in his British accent.

“Are you serious?! You tried to threaten me with a SCREWDRIVER!?!!” Temper levels reaching critical levels. Then I realized something else: “Wait, you made a screwdriver sonic?”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time!” He replied defensively.

“Okay, that actually sounds pretty cool. But how did you figure out that I’m the Traveler?” I asked, tossing (I still don’t know how I did that with only my mouth) the Sonic Screwdriver back at him.

He looked at me with confusion on his face. His eyes narrowed and he said suspiciously, “Why did you do that?”

“What? Toss the screwdriver back? Probably because I don’t know how to use it and the fact that if we keep up this fighting, there’s not gonna be much left to hit you over the head with!” I said, pointing out the broken clocks and various bits of debris.

“Well, that’s a very good point now that you mention it,” He said sheepishly.

“You still haven’t told me how you know I’m the Traveler,” I said, feeling the tension in the room dissipate.

“Simple. A letter arrived for me earlier this week, telling me that an earth pony, with a cutie-mark exactly like yours, was coming to this world.”

“And you took the word of a piece of paper that seriously?”

“Not exactly. You see, also included in the letter was a photo.”

“I don’t see where this is going,” I said, confused.

“The photo was of an alien being standing next to a blue phone-booth.”

“Oooh, right. Aliens and phone-booths! It’s a sign!”

“Look, the alien was something that I’d heard of before, something called a Human. Anyways, the human was-“

“Basically another version of you?” I interrupted, realizing where I’d seen the pony before, “Okay, no need to supply the rest of the story, I can guess the rest from here.”

“Are you sure?” He asked skeptically.

“Yeah. Look, I’m guessing that you were told that I’d bring mayhem and ruin, certain apocalypse, yadda yadda, yadda. Mind if I just go ahead and leave? I’m pretty sure we’ve established that I’m not the bad guy and you’re another reality’s version of a guy I know.”

“Erm, okay then. Wait, what is your name?”

“Omnius. Let me guess: They call you The Doctor?”

“How did-“

“Dude, I’ve been at this longer than a lot of people would guess. Anyways, sorry about the mess,” I dropped some bits onto the shattered table, and said, “That’s all I’ve got to spare. Sorry about that Doc.”

“No, it’s quite alright. Well, I hope to see you again. It seems you’ve seen your fair share of adventures too.”

I opened the door, and walked out, rubbing the new set of bruises on my head. I glanced at the sky and noticed the sun was going down. I sighed and decided to make my way back to the farm.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Omnius! What in tarnation happened to you?” Applejack exclaimed when she saw me walk into the barn.

My only reply was, “I got the nails,” As I threw myself onto the hay.

“Fun day then?”

“Actually, yeah. It was pretty exciting. I’ll have to do that again,” I said, laughing, “Hey, your family’s supposed to be coming tomorrow right?”

“Oh yeah. Well, funny thing is we didn’t need the nails. Granny Smith found another bucket under the sink,” Applejack said, smiling.

“…D’oh.” I said feebly.

Core of the Apples

Chapter 4: Core of the Apples

(I don’t feel like doing the math, so YOU figure out how many days it is until episode 1 of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

After a well deserved (and way too short) night’s rest, I got to get up and then fall flat on my face again. I know, I know, “But wait, how is it possible for you to fall out of a pile of hay?”

It’s simple. I did it very carefully.

Anyways, I groaned, rubbed my face, and then walked out of the barn to see that the rest of the family was already up and about. They looked anxious for some reason, as they moved frantically, trying to arrange some banners and stuff. As I hadn’t had my morning cup of soda yet (Or even a cup of soda this entire frigging WEEK!) I couldn’t figure out what all the hub-bub was about. That is, until I yawned and asked, “What’s with all the hub-bub?”

Apple Bloom dashed by, balancing a stack of Apple Pies on her nose (D’awww, again I say!), saying, “Remember? Today’s the start of the family reunion!”

I groaned again, stumbled over to Applejack, who was setting up a table covered with food (I still miss my muffin), and wearily stated, “Sorry if I sound like a jerk for saying this, but before I can help, I need some apple juice or something.”

Applejack looked at me and smiled, saying, “I reckon you’re not a morning pony then?”

“My dear Applejack, I am a morning pony! I just need a little something to get me rolling,” I said, suppressing another yawn.

By now, you’ve probably figured out that I’m a bit of a soda/juice addict. I can’t help it; they’re just both so delicious! It honestly made me wonder why the heck people would go for alcoholic drinks when there were more delicious and satisfying alternatives like Coke! Or Mountain Dew! Or anything that’s fizzy and caffeinated!

Applejack chuckled, and said, “I know how that can be. Here, try this.” She nudged a bright blue bottle with a bendy straw towards me, and I eyed it warily, not wanting to be tricked into drinking anything with alcohol (If I’m that bad with soda, imagine me with beer. Not a pretty picture, is it?) . She must’ve guessed what I was thinking, so she continued, saying, “That there is a Sweet Apple Acres Special! It’s one of our sweetest drinks, and can definitely put a spring in your trot!”

At ‘Sweetest Drinks’, I simply thought to myself, “Good enough,” grabbed the straw out of the drink, and tossed it to the side. Grabbing the bottle in my teeth, I lifted it up and started chugging like there was no tomorrow. In about five seconds (Or however long it takes for the Popeye theme to play), I had drained the bottle and tossed it into a nearby trash bin.

Burping slightly, I said, “Thanks. MORNING PONY, AWAY!” I shouted the last part in an overly dramatic voice and then galloped over to another table. Five seconds later, I ran back to Applejack, and said casually, “I guess I kinda need something to help you with, huh?”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

After a couple of hours of setting up tables, putting out dishes of food, and the other family reunion thingies, I finally mustered up the courage to ask Applejack about something that had been bothering me for the past few days.

“Hey, uh, Applejack?” I started hesitantly, as we finished setting up a banner across the rafters of the barn.

“What’s wrong Omnius?” She asked instantly. Damn, how did she do that?

“I was just wondering, um, since I’m technically not really part of the family, and this is supposed to be a FAMILY reunion, are you sure that it’s alright if I stay here?” I looked down at my hooves as I talked and tried not to make eye contact. I’ve already said this, but I feel awkward around family moments, and family reunions are as big a family moment as you can get.

“Aw, well shoot, you saved Apple Bloom from that storm, and you didn’t even know us! Not only that, but you’ve been helping us set up for the Summer Sun Celebration!” She patted my shoulder with one of her hooves, and said, “Why, I reckon you’re already part of the family!”

I let out a sigh of relief, and smiled. “Thanks A.J.”

“Anytime there, pardner,” She said, playfully punching my shoulder. There were a lot of unsaid things in said punch (And me gasping in pain, as she punched a bruise) and it made me feel better (And it made me feel pain).

“Well, enough chit-chat! It looks like we’ve got everything set up!” I said, my cheer restored by the pep-talk and the juice.

“Not quite. I gotta go and wake Granny Smith up.” Applejack walked out of the barn and left me standing in confusion.

“…Granny Smith is alive?” I shook my head in disbelief, walked out to stand by Apple Bloom and Big Macintosh, and wait for the rest of the family to show up. Big Mac and I made idle chit-chat while we waited for Applejack and Granny Smith to come out.

After a few minutes of waiting, Applejack and a green, wrinkled, and incredibly old (so old, I bet she knew dinosaurs when they were young) pony finally came out and waited with us. When I saw Granny Smith, I did what should by now be expected by everyone and said the first thing that came to mind.

“GRANNY SMITH! You’re alive!” I said joyously, as the other Apples grinned.

“Of course I’m alive, what else would I be?” She asked in the way that only Cranky Kong or Old Man Jenkins could pull off (In other words, extremely irritated and tired).

“Well, it’s just that the whole time I’ve been here, I haven’t seen you, so I guessed that, well you know…” Luckily, I was spared having to give an answer, as Applejack spotted a group of ponies headed our way.

“Look alive, pardner!” She hollered (She didn’t yell, she hollered. There’s a difference), “Here comes the family!”

Aaaaaannnnd here’s where things get confusing (for me at least). Remember how I mentioned that we had to add on to the barn in order to make it big enough to hold the Apple family?

Well, I thought that they’d be arriving in smaller groups. You know, couples, maybe a few small families, that kind of stuff. Instead, it seemed like they had all arrived at the SAME freaking TIME.

Trust me folks, you don’t want me to give you the details of the introductions. I’ll give you the shortened and abridged version instead.

As all of the Apple Family knew each other, and I was the only new pony, Apple Bloom and Applejack insisted on introducing me to the rest of the family. I felt like my arm was going to be ripped out of its socket from all the times I had to shake somepony’s hoof. It didn’t help that they were all enthusiastic country ponies, and they had the southern hospitality to go along with it. Oh, and Applejack told me everyone’s name in less than a minute (There were too many names for me to even think about counting).

Needless to say, I was lost in a swirl of apple related names, and then I had to put a hoof on a table in order to make sure I didn’t fall over.

As I tried to keep my breakfast from making it’s less than triumphant return (Good Gandhi, but there were a lot of ponies!), Big Mac walked over to me, and chuckled.

“Please tell me (Burp) that I won’t have to memorize all of those names? And do you think that I’ll ever get the full use of my leg again?” I asked, swaying slightly.

“I reckon that you won’ have to memorize all of them. They only come by every now and then. And your arm should get its feeling back eventually,” Big Mac said in that slow tone of his, still grinning.

“Okay, that’s good. So is everyone here named after an apple?” I asked, starting to feel better. At least the floor wasn’t trying to trip me up anymore.

“Eyup,” He stated simply. Gotta love Big Mac.  I mean, he could probably sum up War and Peace in five words! How cool is that?

I shook off the last of the sudden sickness, and said, “Well, come on! We’ve got some Family to entertain!”

As we walked back into the crowd, I felt a prickling sensation on the back of my neck and looked around. For some reason, I started feeling nervous, like something was about to try and attack us. Seeing nothing, I wrote it off to me trying to delay the family moments, and tried to make conversation.

“Hey,” I said casually, standing next to a yellow colt with a single red apple as his cutie-mark.

“Well howdy there stranger! Say, you’re that feller that got Apple Bloom out of that storm, aren’t you?” He said in the now too-familiar southern drawl that I had come to expect from the Apple family.

“It’s better than being known for getting struck by lightning,” I said shrugging. I grabbed an apple from a nearby table and bit into it. Damn, but I gotta hand it (Hoof it?) to Applejack, she wasn’t kidding when she said that they grow the best apples in Equestria. Well, at least they were the best apples I’d ever eaten!

“Oh right! Applejack told us the whole story!” He said, adjusting his cowboy hat (I don’t care if they’re ponies; I’m still calling it a cowboy hat!).

“Figured as much. Erm, Rage-Urn, right?” I asked, scratching my head, and struggling to remember his name.

“That’s mighty close. It’s Braeburn!” He stuck out his hoof and I took it, shaking it before he could get a chance to shake mine.

Rip my arm out of my socket once, shame on you. Rip it out twice, shame on me. Try to do it again, realize that you’ve already ripped out both of my arms, and that you CAN’T do it again!

“Oh, sorry about that Braeburn. Hey, mind if I shorten it to B.B? I mean, you have to admit, Braeburn is a bit of a mouthful,” I said cheerfully as he rubbed his arm a bit.

“Not if you mind me calling you Omni,” He said good-naturedly.

“Not at all B.B…okay, I’m gonna go back to calling you Braeburn. You don’t seem like a B.B,” I said, finishing off the apple I was eating. What kind of apple was it you ask? I’m not telling you! Some things you just have to leave to the imagination of the reader…oh, who am I kidding? It was the classic red apple.

We kept up the chit-chat for a few minutes, and I ended up getting an invitation to come and hang out in Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (I’m gonna cut it off here. It’d take a while if I included all of the “A’s”) appleoosa! I told him I’d keep that in mind, and then heard someone call out that they were doing a couple of competitions.

Normally I would have ignored that, but then I heard that there was an Apple Juice drinking contest. Naturally, being the epitome of cool, I jumped up, squealed in girlish delight (I know, I know, I’ll hand over my man card later!), and galloped full speed toward a table completely covered with bottles of apple juice.

“I guess you’re joining the Apple Juice Chugging Competition then?” I heard Applejack say from right next to me.

I hopped giddily in place and nodded furiously. A big goofy grin had done a hostile takeover of my face, and I must have looked a little crazy.

“Excited aren’t ya?” Another pony asked from the end of the table.

“Excited? Dude, I am the MASTER of drinking contests!” I said, laughing happily, glad that I finally had found something I was good at on this world. “I will not be out drunk today! Or is it out drank?” I paused, and tried to figure it out, and then said, “Doesn’t matter! The point is: I am the MASTER drinker!”

A lot of the other Apple family had gathered to watch, and they cheered at my enthusiasm. Apple Bloom stood on top of Big Mac’s back (Hey, those last two words rhymed!) so she could be seen, and she shouted over the crowd, “Ponies! Get ready!”

Applejack, me, and maybe five other ponies each grabbed a bottle and placed it in front of us.

“Get set!”

I removed the straws from all of the ten bottles I was supposed to drink and set them on the table. I grabbed a bottle in my mouth and prepared to chug.

“GO!”

I tilted the bottle back, and drank like I was a guy who had been lost in a desert for two weeks with nothing but pond water. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw some of them try and copy me, only to splutter and cough out some apple juice that had went down the wrong pipe.

“Amateurs,” I muttered under my breath as I went for the next bottle. I didn’t mean to sound rude but it was true. Plus, I kind of go crazy in drinking contests, as proven by my loss of a man card earlier.

Five minutes later, I was down to my last bottle! I was in the clear! I was gonna win! I picked up the last bottle and chugged it straight down in one gulp. I heard a bell ring, and I dropped the bottle, letting out a record breaking belch. Yep. Epitome of Table Manners too!

“And we have a winner!” I heard someone call out, and then I felt my hoof being raised into the air, like I had won a boxing match. I heard a bunch of cheers, and then I realized two things:

One: I was having fun. Honest-to-Gods good fun! And even though I might have looked crazy, everyone else was having a good time too. I felt like I was honestly a part of the family. It was a good feeling.

Two: Holy Apple-kabobs Batman! I needed to pee REALLY badly. I guess I forgot the fact that while I’m incredibly talented at drinking, I can’t say the same for my ability to hold more than four drinks.

“Hooray, yeah, I win, but if I could please be excused for one moment!” I rushed to a nearby outhouse that had been setup just for the occasion, only to find that, to my extreme horror, it was occupado.

“Okay, I can wait,” I told myself, and I stood outside, waiting. At this time, Applejack’s mischievousness must have kicked in, as she, Braeburn, and Apple Bloom walked up to me, and started talking in overly loud voices.

“Hoo-Eee, Apple Bloom. Shouting at all them ponies sure must have made you thirsty,” Applejack said/shouted.

“It sure did sis! Why in fact, I could sure go for a nice, tall, cool, glass of water!” Apple Bloom replied, putting extra emphasis on the word water.

Just ignore it, just ignore it! You can hold it! YOU. CAN. HOLD IT!

“I know I sure could!” Braeburn added, pulling out one of the bottles he hadn’t managed to finish. He made sure the straw was in place, and then started draining the bottle loudly, making sure I could hear every moment of it.

I groaned, and started trotting in place. Dammit! This is SO not funny!

Now both Apple Bloom and Braeburn were both drinking juice, and making loud noises. Applejack decided to cut in, saying stuff about waterfalls, and leaking roofs, and GAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

I decided it wasn’t worth waiting for, and then I dashed into the nearby woods. I made sure that I had gone far enough so that I couldn't see the barn, and then relieved myself in some nearby bushes.

Bliss. Pure, unadulterated bliss. I won’t bore you with the details, since it would be extremely awkward if I described myself taking a piss. Just know that I was in the Orchard for at least five minutes, and that the trees got a healthy dose of nutrients to help them grow (No, seriously, that actually helps them grow. Just don’t try it at home).

I trotted back to the farm, a look of pure relief on my face, when I spotted something that filled me with pure dread.

To others, it may have been innocent enough. It was just a shadow of movement that probably would’ve gone unnoticed if they hadn’t been trying to look for it. As this was something that I constantly kept an eye out for, I noticed it.

“No, no no no,” I repeated to myself out loud. “He can’t be here. He shouldn’t be here!” I steeled my nerves and went to the place where I had seen the movement. I looked around the area, and spotted it: A set of footprints that were in the shape of elongated pentagons. That would’ve been weird enough, but I could also feel how even though I was standing in broad daylight, in the middle of a ray of sunlight, the air was somehow colder and more corrupt somehow.

“Dark feelings in the middle of the day, chills in the middle of a bright ray of sunlight, something that’s clichéd beyond all belief?” I muttered to myself. I swallowed, and after a moment of silence, said fearfully, “There’s only one thing that fits into all three of those categories…Torrentican is here, on Equestria, and he’s brought his Shadow-stalkers with him.”

That alone terrified the piss out of me (thankfully, I didn’t have any left, or I would have wet myself). I allowed myself a silent prayer to the Gods of Good and hoped that Torrentican wasn’t planning on a full scale invasion yet.

Wait, I need to tell you guys about his Shadow-Stalkers, right? Okay, well, it’s kind of confusing, but I’ll try to explain. See, I told you guys about my auras, right? Of course I did, it was in the last section! Go look at it if you need a refresher. Well, as I had my auras, Torrentican had his minion creating ability. Ever play Kingdom Hearts? If yes, then you know what the heartless are. If no, then Google image a shadow heartless, and take a good look at it. That’s the base ingredient for Torrentican’s minions. They’re easy to create and simple to control. Like Legos.

Anyways, after he gets the base, he adds on to it, giving it shape, certain powers, and he can even make it look like himself if he has to (again, just like Legos). Basically, he can create an entire army from that. That’s kind of why I call them Shadow-Stalkers. Partly because they’re all made of shadows of evil, and partly because the name Darkstalkers was already taken. Stupid Japanese fighting games. They always get the cool names!

Wait…games, names…oh no…I’M SPEAKING IN RHYME!

“Okay, come on Omni! Calm down!” I spoke to myself as I walked back to the farm. “Be rational: How does Torrentican operate?”

They say it’s a bad thing when you start talking to yourself. I can see why people would think that. But what do they think when you can get an answer?

“He waits for whoever is the villain to make their move,” I responded instantly.

“Not all the time! Sometimes he’ll wait until it looks like the good guys have won, and then he’ll do something to make life miserable!” I shot back at myself.

“Okay, that’s true. But what about when he decides not to do anything at all?”

“Hey, this is TORRENTICAN we’re talking about! He always tries something!”

“Alright, that’s true, but remember, you always come out on top! You’ve always managed to find a way to pull a last minute trick out of your sleeve and turn the tables on him!” I tried to say confidently.

“Yeah, but only because I’ve got my friends by my side. Without them, I’m nothing! I wouldn’t have anything to fight for!” I retorted, beads of sweat starting to form.

“Well then make sure that you keep your friends!”

“Have I already forgotten about that Technicolor Dream Vision that I had just a couple of nights ago?”

“What about it?” My mental self asked. (Holy crap, talking to yourself is confusing! How do I manage it?)

“He said that people would see me as a monster,” I reminded myself, and I fell silent. Was that really my biggest fear at the moment? Being seen as a monster? I shook my head, and firmly rejected it. I already had enough on my plate without having to worry about what the future would hold. As it was, the only thing I could really do right now was wait and see what would happen.

As I caught sight of the barn, I took a steadying breath and tried to look like I had just heard an angelic choir playing in the background (Not too hard when I remembered why I had gone into the woods in the first place).

All three of my tormentors were waiting for me, and they cracked up laughing once they saw my face.

“Laugh all you want good apple family, but I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!” I cried out dramatically, and then said, “Poof! That was the smoke bomb going off, and me disappearing in the mysteriousness of said poof!”

They laughed even harder and I joined in, hoping they didn’t notice that I kept glancing at the woods in fear.

The Mare in the Moon (and Omnius too!) Pt. 1.

The Mare in the Moon (and Omnius too!)

Part 1.

(Takes place during Episode 1 of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

“No, please stop! I can’t take anymore!” I shouted in agony, panting heavily. Sharp lances of pain shot through my front right leg, and it took everything I had to not scream in pain.

“Omnius, you don’t have to shout like that! It’s only Hoof-Wrastling,” Applejack said, with no sign of the exhaustion I felt in her voice.

“Says the still undefeated champion!” I said, gingerly stretching my leg. “Ye-ouch! I can’t believe no one warned me about that!” I shot a short glare at Apple Bloom, who tried to look as innocent as possible, while everyone who was watching laughed.

“Alright, come on now,” Applejack said, patting my shoulder good naturedly. “You lost, fair and square, so you know what that means!” She started grinning and I sighed.

“I know, I know. But do I have to do it in front of everypony here?”

“That was the bet, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. Alright, let’s get this over with,” I trotted to the top of a nearby hill and aimed for a tree that was full of apples. I was very aware of the fact that I had at least fifteen ponies watching me, since the rest were preparing the last of the food that was gonna be served at the Summer Sun Celebration.

“Hold these please,” I said, passing my glasses to Apple Bloom. She took them and put them on, while her eyes got ridiculously warped behind them. I kept my laughter to myself and tried to aim again.

“Wow Omnius! Is your eyesight really this bad?” Apple Bloom asked incredulously.

“Is what I’m about to do incredibly stupid?” I shot back, before running full speed down the hill.

“FOR PONY!!!” I cried out, right before my face collided with a tree trunk. The tree shook like it did before, and more than half of the apples that were in said tree fell out, a few of them hitting me on the head. Cartoon apples flew around my head again, and I staggered around for a minute, trying to get the ground to stay still.

“You okay there pardner?” Applejack said, while everyone else was laughing and cheering.

“Courshe I am! Now whish Applejack am I talking to, the one on the right, or the one on the left?” I slurred, and then shook my head. “Uh, just kidding!”

“Doesn’t it hurt to do that?” Apple Bloom asked when she gave me back my glasses.

“Only a little,” I lied, “But trust me, there are a lot of things that would hurt a lot more…” I trailed off for a moment, and then noticed she was still staring at me. “I wouldn’t try it if I were you. Only reason I can do it is because I have one heck of a thick skull.”She nodded, and walked back to the farm. After she was gone, I put both of my front hooves on my head, and let out a deep sigh.

Doesn’t it hurt to do that?

How many times had I been asked that question? It seemed like along with, “How did you do that,” and “What are you,” those were the top three questions I’ve been asked.  No matter what, those three questions have constantly been said to me in one form or another, and nine times out of ten, that last question, “What are you,” was always asked with some hint of fear. It always made me feel horrible, but then again, I had also been able to convince everyone that I was the good guy in less than a few minutes, so it normally made things okay.

I shook myself out of those thoughts and looked around from where I was standing. Applejack had decided to try and get a few last minute apples for the celebration and was currently apple bucking, while the rest of the Apple family was just out doing their own thing. I decided that since no one needed my help, it would be a good idea to take a nap. Leaning my back against the tree I had just skull-bashed, I slid to the ground and felt my eyelids grow heavier.

Ye Gods, but this world was just so…peaceful. There were a few fluffy, white, clouds in the bright blue sky, there was a light breeze, and the sunlight seemed to seep into my bones and soothe all of my old aches and pains. The grass was soft, and the trunk seemed to be in the perfect shape for me to lean against it. Birds softly chirped, and I could hear the laughter of the family being carried to me on the breeze. The only thing that could make this better would be a hammock, I thought to myself, as I slowly closed my eyes and tried to enjoy this extremely rare moment of peace. I closed my eyes, and relaxed…

Then I noticed that a lavender unicorn was walking up the path with a purple and green lizard thing in tow.

“Why is it that every time I start to relax, things start happening?” I complained to myself, as I forced myself out of the comfortable spot and trotted over to meet the unicorn.  I got there in time to hear the reptile/yoshi/lizard thing say something about a checklist, and banquet preparations.

“YEE-HAW!” I heard Applejack holler, as she bucked a tree clear of all of its apples (still wish I could do that). Since I wasn’t feeling lazy, I went and bucked another tree, only to get half of the apples dropped on my head, instead of the bucket I was aiming for. On the bright side, in cartoonish fashion, the apples that bounced off of my head landed perfectly in the bucket.

The lavender unicorn sighed, and said reluctantly, “Let’s get this over with.” She walked over to where Applejack was trying her hardest not to laugh at me, and said, “Good Afternoon. My name is Twilight Sparkle-” She was suddenly cut off, as Applejack had grabbed her hoof, and was shaking it vigorously.

“Did I look like that funny when I got my hoof shaken?” I asked myself, and decided that yeah, I probably did, if not even funnier.

“Well, howdy-do, Miss Twilight. A pleasure makin' your acquaintance! I'm Applejack and that there is Omnius!” (Hooray, I’m noticed!) “We here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like makin' new friends,” She said, gesturing towards me with her head.

“Friends? I-Uh” Twilight stammered out, but the violent shaking of her hoof made it hard for her to say anything, until Applejack let go. Her hoof kept shaking in the air, and the purple thing (Oh screw it, I’m calling it a dragon) had to grab it to make it stop. I couldn’t help but chuckle at that and the dragon giggled too.

Twilight shot the small dragon a look and cleared her throat. “Well, I am in fact here to supervise the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. And you’re in charge of the food?”

“We sure as sugar are!” Applejack said proudly. “Would you care to sample some?”

I hope she knew what she was getting into. Remembering what happened to me yesterday, I grabbed a nearby empty bucket, and shoved it onto my head, just as Twilight said, “As long as it doesn’t take too long…”

I couldn’t see from under my makeshift helmet, but I heard the sharp ringing of the Metal Triangle, and then Applejack called out, “SOUP’S ON EVERYPONY!”

“Brace for impact!” I said to the dragon (or at least in his general direction), just as all three of us were overtaken by a sudden stampede of Apple Family members. After the imaginary banjo music I always played in my head for these occasions, I lifted the bucket up to see that I was standing next to the Unicorn and Dragon at a small picnic table, with the entire family surrounding us. I figured now was a good time to take off the bucket, before I started making Buckethead jokes.

“Now how ‘bout I introduce you to the Apple Family?” Applejack asked the visitors, gesturing to the large group of ponies.

“Thanks, but I really need to hurry,” Twilight said, trying to leave, but before she could, Applejack had started the introductions, with each named pony bringing a different plate of food.

I laughed while she did that, remembering when I got introduced to the family. Then frowned when I realized something: How come I didn’t get food when that happened? Totally unfair! While I thought about that, I realized that Applejack had finished introducing everyone and had even woken up Granny Smith. Something that I’d noticed by now was that Granny Smith spent 20 hours of the day napping, sleeping, snoozing, and dozing. Also: That she hated it whenever it was ME trying to wake her up.  Why? I don’t know, it might have something to do with the fact that I tripped and was holding an apple pie the first time I tried to wake her up.

“Why, I’d say they’re already part of the family!” I heard Applejack say to the others, as she patted Twilight on her back. I just noticed that apparently Applejack must have shoved an apple into Twilight’s mouth, since she suddenly spat out chunks of apple into my face.

She chuckled nervously, while I wiped the bits of apple off of my glasses, and she said, “Okay, well, I can see the food situation is handled, so we’ll be on our way.”

The entire Apple family groaned, and I couldn’t help but join them. Come on, Twilight, don’t leave! I still want to talk to the Dragon! I got an idea, and nudged Apple Bloom towards Twilight, and whispered to her, “Give her your best sad-eyed look! It’s our only hope for brunch!” My stomach rumbled when I said brunch.

Apple Bloom winked at me and then turned to Twilight and set phasers to Instant Diabetes! Or, in other words, she gave Twilight the exact same look she gave me when I first got here (I still go “D’aww” when I think about it). She asked in a sad and thoroughly adorable voice, “Aren’t you gonna stay for brunch?” She blinked a few times for emphasis.

“Sorry, but we have an awful lot to do…” Twilight said apologetically. The Apples all let out one collective, “Awww…” of disappointment, while I stood silently, trying not to explode from sheer overexposure to Adorableness. What, you don’t think it could happen? Well, try standing in the middle of a bunch of cute, sad-eyed ponies, and then tell me what you think! (Oh wait, you can’t, because you’ll be exploded!)

Twilight sighed in defeat, and reluctantly said, “Fine.” The Apples started cheering, and I grabbed the nearest platter of Apple Cupcakes.

“So, you’re Omnius?” Twilight asked, somewhat awkwardly, as if she didn’t get out much.

“That’s what I remember,” I said somewhat distractedly, as I bit into a cupcake.

“Well, hello Omnius. My name is Twilight Sparkle,” She said, adopting an air of formality. She stuck her hoof out and I tapped it, almost like the equivalent of a bro-fist…bro-hoof?

“Yo.”

“Yo?” She repeated, confused. Jeez, it was like she’d never heard the word before…wait a second.

“Aw, don’t tell me no one has ever told you ‘Yo’ before!” I said in disbelief.

“No, no one ever has,” Twilight said, a look of bewilderment on her face.

My mouth hung open, and then I shook my head in sorrow, and told her, “I’m so sorry.”

“Why? What does Yo even mean?”

“It’s another way of saying hi…I think,” I added hastily, not wanting to reveal the fact that I was faking amnesia.

“What do you mean, ‘think’?” Twilight asked suspiciously, as a plate of pie suddenly flew out of nowhere and landed in front of her. Holy crap, she’s psychic! Wait, can she read my mind?

“Um, uh-” I started stuttering trying to explain, but then got interrupted when Apple Bloom butted in. She’s lucky she’s cute…

“Wow! You haven’t heard? Well see, there was this storm a few days ago and it was huge! There were so many clouds, that you could barely see your own hoof in front of your face! And you could only see when a bolt of lightning would hit the ground, and there were a ton of bolts hitting the ground everywhere!” She said, acting out some of the parts. She told Twilight and the Dragon (still gotta get his name) all about me saving her from the storm, which made me feel uncomfortable for some reason. I guess I just didn’t like it when people tried making me sound like more than I actually was. I then realized that I had stopped paying attention and tried to focus on what Apple Bloom was saying.

“…And then, he walks out of the barn, and KA-WHAMMO! He gets struck by lightning, right on his forehead!” She poked my face for emphasis, making me mutter “Ow,” under my breath. “Big Macintosh and Applejack had to pull him back inside, since he passed out when he got hit, and they thought that he had gotten really hurt, but the next morning, he was fine, except he couldn’t remember anything!”

“Anything?” Twilight repeated, looking at me. The dragon looked up from the cupcake he was currently devouring too, a look of curiosity on his face.

“Yep, can’t remember a thing!” I said, grabbing a slice of pie and a couple more cupcakes. “Just my name and a couple of other things that are kind of hazy.”

“That’s horrible,” Twilight said sympathetically.

“So you forgot how to eat too? Guess you won’t be needing this!” The dragon said, swiping a cupcake from the plate in front of me. Twilight shot him an angry look, and said, “Spike, don’t be rude!”

Spike opened his mouth to say something, and then suddenly let out a belch of green flame. I shielded my eyes and thought to myself, Yep, definitely a dragon!

When I lowered my arm, I saw that Spike was unfurling a scroll, while Twilight smiled triumphantly, and was saying, “Yes! Surely the Princess must have realized how ridiculous this is, and she’s currently summoning me back to Canterlot! Read what it says Spike!”

While I wondered who in their right mind would name a city ‘Canterlot,’ Spike cleared his throat, and started reading the scroll.

“My Dear Twilight Sparkle, I hope that this letter finds you well, and I must ask you to do a favor for me. It has come to my attention that there is a newcomer to Ponyville and that he has amnesia, brought about from a recent…lightning…” Spike trailed off, and looked at me. I shrugged and motioned for him to keep going, while Twilight shot me a death glare. He cleared his throat and continued, saying, “Recent lightning storm. As I am acquainted with this pony, I wish for you to allow him to accompany you, as you continue to check the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. Hopefully, this will restore his lost memories, but in the event that it doesn’t, I will meet him personally, in order to attempt to heal him. Sincerely, Princess Celestia.”

“I know the Princess?” I asked Twilight in honest confusion. No, seriously. I don’t ever remember meeting a giant horse with wings and a horn that has enough strength to raise the sun and moon every day. I’m pretty sure when something like that happens, I will remember it. For some reason though, I felt a prickling sensation on the back of my neck, like there was something I should have realized a while ago…

“Apparently, although I must admit, the princess has never mentioned you to me at all,” Twilight said, glaring at me suspiciously (she tends to glare a lot). “Why would she have you accompany me though? It makes no sense!”

“I dunno, I mean, come on, up until a few days ago, I had never heard of Princess Celestia! All I know about her is that she’s a kind ruler, she’s in charge of raising the sun and moon, and that this Summer Sun Celebration thing is almost like a birthday party for her. Almost.” I said, trying to remember what Applejack had told me earlier. Again, this is the part where I thank the amnesia excuse for letting me not know things. Yay amnesia!

“Birthday party!? The Summer Sun Celebration is a lot more than just that! It celebrates the sun, and all of the things it encompasses and represents! Why, to try and compare it to-” Twilight started ranting, as she dug into her pie, and of course, due to my inability to listen to angry, pointless, rants, I started to tune it out, and hoped that I nodded in the right places.

“Psst, Spike, is she always this, erm, vocal?” I whispered to Spike, while nodding at some long complicated word Twilight said.

“Only when she’s angry,” Spike said, munching an apple, “Don’t worry, when she rants, she gets hungry, so once she starts into her second pie, she’ll stop.”

Sure enough, once Twilight had finished her first pie (damn, she put that away like I put away drinks!) she gave off a loud ‘Hmph’ of disapproval and tore into the second pie.

“Five bits says she gets one heckuva stomachache by the time we leave,” I whispered to Spike jokingly.

He laughed, and said, “No thanks, I definitely agree with you on that one!”

We both chuckled, and we finished the rest of the meal with me, Apple Bloom, and Applejack, telling Spike about my repeated attempts at head butting apple trees. Once Twilight had finished her pies, I noticed that there was a small mountain of pie tins next to her, and she let out a small groan of discomfort, which made me chuckle.

“Alright, since Twilight had essentially devoured your entire supply of pie, I think that now would be a good time to make our getaway,” I said, walking up to Applejack. “Thanks again for letting me stay here.”

“Aw, it was nothing. I’m glad I could help you out,” Applejack said, punching my shoulder. “And remember: If Princess Celestia can’t get you your memory back, you’ve still got a place to stay if you need it.”

I smiled and punched her shoulder in return. “Thanks. I’ll see you at the Celebration tonight?”

“Oh, I reckon you might,” She said, winking. “I might see you sooner than that even.”

I opened my mouth to ask what the hex she was talking about, when I heard Spike say that we were leaving. The best I could do then was to eye Applejack warily, and say, “Alrighty then. See ya A.J!”

And with that, Twilight, Spike, and I headed off towards Ponyville. Although the trip was pretty uneventful, I swear, I thought I saw a blur of pink shoot by…Nah, probably just my imagination…I hope.

“So, Spike, what do we have to check for the S.S.C?” I asked as we entered the town.

“S.S.C?” Spike asked.

“I shortened Summer Sun Celebration to S.S.C,” I explained.

“Well, besides food, we have to check the weather, the decorations, and the music,” Spike said, reading off of a list, “We just finished food, so next should be…weather!”

Twilight groaned, and mumbled under her breath, “I ate too much pie.”

“Nonsense! There’s no such thing as too much pie!” I said, grinning at her. She shot me another look, and I quickly tried to change the subject. “Uh, if Applejack was in charge of the food, who’s in charge of the weather?”

“Hm…There’s supposed to be a Pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds,” Spike said, glancing at the sky.

“Well, she’s not doing a very good job, is she?” Twilight said when she looked up and saw the clouds in the sky.

I think Twilight jinxed us or something because one second we’re standing and talking about the weather, and then the next second: A rainbow colored blur had crashed into me, which sent me into Twilight, which sent all of us into a mud puddle, and I got to study the ground again. The interesting, very cool looking, muddy ground.

I wanted to push myself off of the ground, but I couldn’t when I realized that Twilight had landed on top of me and on top of her was a cyan colored Pegasus pony with a rainbow colored mane and tail. My finely honed detective skills kicked in again and told me that the Pegasus was none other than Rainbow Dash!

I tried to look up and to say “Excuse me, but could you please get off me?” But instead, as my face was getting reacquainted with the ground, I could only manage a garbled gurgling sound.

The rainbow colored pony picked herself up and turned to look at us, giggling awkwardly. “Uh, excuse me?”

I tried to wiggle out from under Twilight, who finally got the hint, and got off of me (FREEDOM!).

“Uh, here, let me help you!” Rainbow Dash flew off, and returned with a- wait, is that a rain cloud? I remembered Applejack saying something about the Pegasisses…Pegaxen…Pegasuseins, (Screw it, they’re Pegasi!) controlling the weather, but I didn’t think that they actually pushed all of the clouds around! That’s a lot cooler than what I thought!

I glanced up at the cloud and realized that Rainbow Dash had started bouncing up and down on it, causing a miniature downpour which washed off all of the mud. Then started to make my mane and tail droop from the wetness. The same went for Twilight, only it looked funnier on her, as her mane was significantly longer than mine.

Rainbow Dash giggled, and said apologetically, “Oops, guess I overdid it. Um, uh, how ‘bout this? My very own, patented, Rain-Blow-Dry!” She flew off of the cloud and started to fly in a circle around us, forming a miniature rainbow colored tornado. I felt my glasses fly off, and tried (and failed) to grab them before they could get blown away.

Once Rainbow Dash finished her flight, she hovered proudly and stated, “No no, don’t thank me. You’re quite welcome!” She then looked at us, and tried to stifle her laughter. She then started laughing so hard, tears started to stream down her face. I turned to see what could be so funny, when I realized: No glasses, equals bad eyesight.

“Where’d my glasses go?” I asked, and then saw that my glasses had landed on Spike (who was also laughing his head off). I sighed, and said, “Never mind. Can I have those back?” I extended a hoof, and Spike handed me my glasses, which I put back onto my face. Turning, I finally saw what Rainbow and Spike were laughing about, and I couldn’t help but start laughing too. Spying a nearby puddle left over from the mini storm cloud, I looked at my reflection and laughed even harder.

What were we laughing about? Oh, just some really bad hairdo’s. Twilight’s hair was poofed up beyond all belief, while mine managed to look like I had styled it by sticking my head out of a moving jet, and spraying it with a ton of hairspray.

“Let me guess,” Twilight said after a minute of us laughing. “You’re Rainbow Dash?”

The cyan Pegasus stopped laughing, and got up, saying proudly, “The one and only!” She shot into the air, got close to Twilight’s face, and asked eagerly, “Why? You heard of me?”

“You could say that,” I said, trying to pull myself together.

Rainbow turned to look at me, pure glee on her face, when Twilight cleared her throat, and said irritably, “I heard you’re supposed to be keeping the sky clear!” She took a deep breath, and with some obvious effort, composed herself. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, and that is Omnius,” I nodded in recognition, “The Princess sent me to check on the weather.”

“And I’m tagging along for the ride,” I piped in, grinning.

Rainbow Dash flew up to a cloud, and reclined in it, saying lazily, “Yeah yeah. That’ll be a snap. I’ll do it in a jiffy, just as soon as I’m done practicing.”

“Practicing for what?” I asked, honestly curious.

“The WONDERBOLTS!” She cried enthusiastically, pointing to a nearby poster (how convenient). “They’re gonna perform at the celebration tomorrow, and I’m gonna show ‘em my stuff!” She said, getting a look in her eye that reminded me of the look I get whenever I see pastries.

“Sounds like they’re pretty elite,” I commented, trying to figure out whether they were an air show or a superhero team. What can I say, matching uniforms always confuse me!

“They’re only the BEST flying team in all of Equestria! You have to be the best of the best of the BEST to join them!” Rainbow replied, like this was something that everyone knew, which in retrospect, probably was.

“The Wonderbolts?” Twilight said skeptically, giving Rainbow Dash a look that clearly said, ‘Girl, you crazy’.

“Yep.”

“The most talented flyers in all of Equestria?”

“That’s them!”

Twilight snorted, and said disbelievingly, “Please. They’d never accept a Pegasus who can’t keep the sky clear for one measly day.”

This ruffled Rainbow’s feathers. She stood on her cloud (screw physics!) and called down, “Hey, I could clear the skies in ten seconds flat!”

I wondered what the hell Twilight was trying to accomplish, when Twilight simply said, “Prove it.”

Rainbow Dash got a determined look in her face and took off faster than I could blink. I don’t normally say this, but hot damn! She was fast! I mean, I was half-expecting a fiery trail of skid marks, and it wouldn’t have surprised me if she was part lightning bolt. She wasn’t just fast, she was graceful as well. Every time she turned a corner, it was like she had done it a million times before, like this was what she was meant to do. Then again, there was every possibility that that was true. I mean, it’s what happened to me.

True to her word, Rainbow Dash kicked the last cloud out of the sky and posed triumphantly on top of a bridge. “See? What’d I say? Ten. Seconds. Flat! I’d never leave Ponyville hangin’!”

Twilight, Spike, and I all had looks of awe on our faces. I broke the silent by yelling in nerdy fashion, “DUDE! Did you see that?! That was AWESOME! I mean, you were like fwoosh, and then the clouds went all POOF! And then I was like, WHOAAAAH!”

“Ha, you’re both a laugh!” Rainbow Dash said laughing. She flew off, and called out, “I can’t wait to hang out some more!”

When she was gone, I started waving my hoof in front of both Twilight and Spike, as they still had a look of awe on their faces. “Hello? Earth to Sparky and Spike!” I said, wishing I could snap my fingers. Stupid hooves. Sure, Pegasus ponies can ignore the laws of physics and sit on clouds, but I can’t snap my hoof? Totally unfair.

Twilight looked at me, and asked “Sparky?”

“Yeah. I figured that since your name is Twilight Sparkle, and then you can shorten Sparkle to Sparky, and voila! Insta-nickname!” I explained, gingerly touching the foosh that was now my hair.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Okay,” I said quickly, looking away.

“Wow…” Spike said, choosing to come back to earth, “She’s amazing!” He then started poking Twilight’s hair, chuckling to himself. She walked away silently, and tried to keep some of her dignity.

“Wait, it’s kinda pretty once you get used to it!” Spike called out, trying to catch up to her. Chuckling, I followed, thinking to myself that this was gonna be a fun day.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

A few minutes later we had walked into the Town Hall, where the Celebration was going to be taking place this year. I had to admit, the décor was pretty cool. There were a few banners, tapestries, and streamers, each with some sort of sun on them. Small shimmering bits of glitter seemed to draw the eyes towards old tapestries that showed a regal white unicorn with wings magically raising the sun. Whoever did this seemed to have even counted all of the small details, including making sure that all of the folds on the banners weren’t wrinkled, and that none of the colors clashed.

“Beautiful…” Spike said dreamily, with miniature hearts appearing in his eyes.

“Yes, the décor is coming along nicely. This oughtta be quick. I’ll be at the library at no time!” Twilight said happily.

“What’s at the library?” I asked.

Before she could answer, Spike cut in, saying, “Not the decorations…Her!” He pointed to a white unicorn with royal blue hair who was magically levitating ribbons onto a column and muttering to herself all the while.

While Spike frantically started fussing over his spines, Twilight shook her head and walked up to the unicorn. “Good Afternoon,” Twilight said, adopting the same air of formality as before.

“Bonjour!” I added, giving a small bow. Wait, is it bonjour or bonsoir? I can never remember.

“Just a moment, please. I'm ‘in the zone’ as it were,” the unicorn replied distractedly, while she levitated a red ribbon that was covered with sparkles, and said “Oh, yes. Sparkle always does the trick, does it not? Why, Rarity, you are a talent. Now, how can I help youuuuaAARGH!”

When she screamed, I reacted instinctively, and tensed. I jumped to the side, and looked around, fully expecting an army of no less than fifty ogres to be charging at us, when Rarity cried out, “Oh my stars. Darlings, whatever happened to your coiffures?”

I put my hoof to my face (facehoof!) and let out a long sigh. Of course the unicorn who has an eye for detail and design would be shocked by bad hairdos. I should have seen that coming.

Twilight looked at my mane, and said, “Oh, you mean our manes? Well, it’s a long story. I’m just here to check on the decorations, and then we’ll be out of your hair.”

“Out of MY hair?! What about YOUR hair?!” She replied unbelievingly, and she started to push both me and Twilight across the room.

“Wait, where are we going? Help!” Twilight said fearfully, while I started sputtering and going, “Wait a second now, there’s no need to do that! What did I ever do to you!? HALP!”

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

Some amount of time later, we had been taken hostage at Rarity’s fashion store, the Carousel Boutique. While Twilight had to suffer through trying on multiple dresses of varying ridiculousness, I had to do something that I hated with a fiery burning passion: Get my hair styled and brushed. I winced every time the hairbrush (mane brush?) went through my hair. It felt like I was getting scalped by a very drunk and prejudiced bandit of the old west.

“Now go on my dear, you were telling me where you’re from,” Rarity said, tightening a strap on some sort of saddle thing that Twilight was wearing. (Okay, so just to recap: She’s getting a bunch of dresses ready, putting said dresses on Twilight, and magically levitating a brush through my hair, all at the same time. Alright, maybe those studies that say that girls are better than dudes at multitasking might have something to them after all.)

“I’ve-ugh-been sent...gasp…from Canterlot-” Twilight struggled to gasp out. I don’t know what was causing the most discomfort: My hair styling, or her dress fitting.

Rarity gasped, and said eagerly, “Canterlot?” She let go of the strap she was tightening, and the laws of physics took over, sending Twilight over to my side of the room. Rarity continued as if nothing happened. “I am so envious! The glamour, the sophistication! I have always dreamed of living there.” She went up to Twilight and gave her a small hug. “I can't wait to hear all about it. We are gonna be the best of friends, you and I!”

I lifted a hoof, and attempted to bat the hairbrush away from me. “Excuse me miss, but if you would kindly stop ripping my hair out of my scalp please. I’m kind of attached to it!”

Rarity looked at me with a critical eye, and said, “But I’m so close to getting your hair just right! Oh, you simply must let me finish!”

I looked at her apologetically, and said, “Sorry. But I kind of already have my own look.” I shook out my mane, until it regained its old, parted down the middle, classic look. I also glared pointedly at some scissors that were slowly inching their way closer to my beard, and said, “And don’t touch the beard. I’m rather fond of it.”

“Oh, but-”

“I know, it looks like it could use a trim, and I honestly appreciate what you’re trying to do. But I like my hair the way it is, and when I want to change it, I’ll get it changed. Thanks for fixing it though, I have to admit I didn’t like the foosh look,” I explained/apologized patiently.

“Well, if you’re quite sure,” She finally relented, and turned back to Twilight, and appraised her look. “Emeralds? What was I thinking? Let me get you some rubies!”

As soon as she was gone, Twilight ran out, saying, “Quick, before she decides to dye my coat a new color!”

“I’m with you on that one sister! Let’s skedaddle!”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Another amount of time later (I don’t have a watch, so I can’t know for sure how much time has passed), we were walking down a simple dirt road, while Spike was still gushing over Rarity.

“Wasn’t she wonderful? Did you see her mane, and ooooh, her eyes! They were just so beautiful!” He had been going on about Rarity for a few minutes now, and it was starting to get on my nerves. It's fine when it's something like food, but when it's a living creature...

“Hey, Twilight, you alright?” I asked, trying to distract myself from Spike’s fawning.

“Of course, why do you ask?” Twilight replied quickly.

“Well, it just seems like you’ve got something on your mind that’s been bugging you all day. You’ve been in a hurry, you mentioned something about going to a library, and when the Princess sent you that letter, you thought that she was summoning you back to Canterlot, like she realized you were telling the truth about something,” I said, pointing out some of the things that had struck me as odd.

Twilight looked down at her hooves and seemed to be mentally arguing with herself. She glanced at me, and asked suspiciously, “How did you notice all of that?”

“Twilight, it was kind of hard NOT to notice. Like I said, you’ve been in a hurry all day, and you get irritated every time something holds you up.”

Twilight thought for a moment, and then sighed. “What do you know about the Mare in the Moon?”

“Nothing. Amnesiac, remember?”

“Oh, right.” For a few minutes, as we walked towards the next goal on the checklist (which was music, if anybody was interested), Twilight told me the story of The Mare in the Moon and how it was Celestia’s sister that tried to bring about eternal night for all of Ponyville, until she was banished to the moon, with the help of the elements of harmony.

“Let me guess,” I interrupted, “It’s been prophesized that Nightmare Moon would somehow escape her prison in a thousand years, and tonight happens to mark that thousandth year.”

“How did you guess?” Twilight said, looking slightly impressed.

“Elementary my dear Sparkle,” I started, in my best Holmes-ian accent. “You see, you strike me as the studious learner, who spends too much time reading and studying, when you could be making friends and attempting to learn more than just what you could find in books. By that logic, it would make sense for you to have come upon an old myth like that, and then by process of deduction and elimination, all becomes clear.”

Twilight continued to look impressed, and she even chose to ignore the minor insult that I had accidentally thrown in. “Very astute observation. Then you understand why I wish to hurry?”

“You want to get some research done on them elements and try to find a way to stop Nightmare Moon,” I said, going back to normal accent.

“Precisely!”

“Hey, I may not remember much, but I’m pretty sure that I could help you out if you’d like,” I offered.

“Why would you want to do that?” She asked with more suspicion (if she gets suspicious again, I’m gonna have to go look up some synonyms for suspicious. I’m getting tired of using that same word over and over and over and over again).

“Because I’m not gonna let no evil god-like being do anything that would hurt my friends,” I replied simply and honestly.

Twilight looked at me, and watched my face when I said that. She blinked and looked away, as if I had just said something she needed to think about. Quietly, she said, “Alright, if you want to, you can help.”

“Thanks. You know, you’re actually pretty alright,” I said, trying to say something nice.

“What?”

I opened my mouth to explain, when the sound of birds singing in harmony suddenly became very apparent. I shushed Twilight and pointed toward the direction of the birdsong. We crept along silently, and I pushed aside some bushes, revealing a small tree that had birds on all of its available branches, with a yellow Pegasus with soft pink hair conducting them.

Suddenly, in a quiet, gentle voice, the Pegasus said, “Oh my. Um, stop, please, everyone.” She flew up to a blue jay, and in that same diabetes inducing voice, said, “Um, excuse me, sir. I mean no offense, but your rhythm is just a teeny tiny bit off. Now, follow me, please. A one. A two. A one-two-three-”

“Hello!” Twilight said loudly, accidentally scaring off all of the birds and gaining a small squeak from the Pegasus. “Oh my. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to frighten your birds. I'm just here to check up on the music and it's sounding beautiful.”

There was a long, awkward silence, as the Pegasus landed gracefully on the ground. We were all silent for a moment longer, until Twilight tried to break the ice by saying, “I'm Twilight Sparkle and this is Omnius. What's your name?”

The Pegasus seemed to be trying to shrink, and she mumbled something that I couldn’t even hear.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Twilight said apologetically.

The Pegasus squeaked and this time I barely heard her say “Fluttershy.”

“Didn’t quite catch that.”

She squeaked something unintelligible, and tried even harder to look small and insignificant. Heart…reaching…maximum…D’AAAWWWW levels! I tried to regulate my breathing, and resisted the urge to have a heart attack. She was just so damn cute! I'll admit it, it was undeniably the cutest thing I had ever seen in all of my Travels! (Apple Bloom, you’ve been replaced.)

After another brutally long awkward silence, the birds flew back to their perches, and Twilight said rather thankfully, “Well, um, it looks like your birds are back, so I guess everything's in order. Keep up the good work.”

Fluttershy managed to squeak out, “You’re very welcome,” while Twilight walked back to Spike, and I stayed where I was.

“I like your birds. You must have worked really hard to get them to sing like that. I probably wouldn’t be able to do that, since I have a short attention span,” I said jokingly, in a soft voice, trying to let Fluttershy know that she shouldn’t be scared of me. I got a look from Twilight, and I shot her one back that said, ‘I’ll catch up in a minute.’

It may seem corny, but I can’t stand it when anyone is scared of me. It makes me feel horrible, like I’m the bad guy, and whenever the person who is scared of me is something small and innocent…Well, you get the picture.

Fluttershy looked up, and then glanced over to where Twilight was talking to Spike. Then she underwent a complete personality change, and cried out in joy, “A baby Dragon!” She flew over to where Spike was, and sent Twilight flying (second time today!) and said excitedly, “Oh, I’ve never seen a baby before. He’s sooooo cute!”

Well I’ll be. I didn’t see that coming. I trotted over to where Twilight was sprawled out on the ground, and asked her, “You okay?”

“Yes, I think I’m fine,” She said, obviously irritated. I could sense that I wouldn’t make things better if I stayed and told Twilight that I’d meet her at the library in a minute. She shrugged and levitated Spike onto her back, with Fluttershy still following them and bombarding Spike with questions.

I sighed, and looked towards the horizon, where the sun was setting and the first stars were starting to twinkle into the sky. I thought about the last few days, and tried to guess what was going on. Here are the facts that I’ve gathered for certain.

Fact 1: Torrentican was here on Equestria, and he has his Shadow-Stalkers with him.

Fact 2: Tonight was a prophesied night for the release of an extremely evil baddie.

Fact 3: I needed a fact three.

Fact 4: According to Twilight, the stars will aid in the release of earlier mentioned evil baddie. As far as I can tell, the Three Travelers (including myself) have been referred to as “Those with the powers of the Stars” due to our ability to Travel through Time, Space, and Matter.

Fact 5: Princess Celestia, the ultimate ruler of this world, didn’t believe Twilight, meaning that if anything bad was going to happen, we wouldn’t exactly get the help of the kingdom until it would be too late.

All in all, those facts did not paint a pretty picture. I decided to head to the library in a roundabout manner, taking my time and trying to figure out if there was anything I could do. Conveniently, I got to the library at the same time as Twilight, Spike, and…Fluttershy?

I heard Twilight say something about Spike being too tired to keep answering questions, and Fluttershy nodded her head, and flew off.

“Yo,” I said casually, walking up to the door of the Tree-library. (Yes. A library. That is a tree. That’s all you need to know.)

“Hello Omnius,” She replied coolly.

“What? Is something in my face? Or is it just my face? You know that I have that kind of face only a blind person could like,” I said, grabbing my face in mock horror. This lightened the mood, and got a small grin from Twilight. “That’s better! Smiling is good for the soul! Now come on, we’ve got some research to do!” I said enthusiastically, walking confidently into the library-

And then got the crap scared out of me when an entire armada of colorful ponies screamed “SURPRISE!”

“Heilige Scheiße!” I yelled, jumping backwards into a bookcase, which caused a cascade of books to fall on top of me and nearly bury me alive.

“Surprise! Hi. I'm Pinkie Pie and I threw this party just for you two! Were you surprised, were you, were you? Huh huh huh?” I heard a voice say excitedly. I groaned inwardly and realized that the blob of pink I had seen earlier was, in fact, Pinkie Pie. Damn foreshadowing!

I poked my head out of the pile, and said, “Yes. I was very surprised. How the heck did you know that there were two of us?”

“Well DUH! I knew that you were here ever since you came into town a few days ago and got some nails and a muffin, and then you were really nice and gave your muffin to Ditzy Doo, and I heard her say that she hoped you enjoy Ponyville, and I thought that since she said that, it must mean that you’re new in town, and I tried to find you, but you were hiding from me! Then Twilight came into town, and I knew that she was new, so I thought that I could throw her a welcome party instead! Then I went to Sweet Apple Acres to give Applejack her invitation, and I saw that YOU were walking with her, and I thought ‘Why not throw a Twofer party!’ And then you walked in, and shouted something weird, and here we are!” Pinkie Pie said excitedly, saying it all in a single breath.

It took me a moment to calculate what she said, and then what the hell I was supposed to say. By the time I came up with an answer, Twilight had evidently been driven to drink and was currently downing a cup of…hot sauce?

She realized her mistake a second later and ended up breathing fire on me. All I can say is that lightning hurts a lot more, and it wasn’t the first time I’ve been burned (ooooohh, burrrrn).

I coughed out a small puff of smoke, and shook off the ashes. I looked over and saw that Applejack was standing next to the other ponies I had met today, and was struggling not to laugh.

“You knew this was coming, didn’t you?” I said semi-accusingly.

“Well, I reckon I might have,” She said laughing.

“Clever Girl,” I said in my best Australian accent.

Okay, for the sake of the fact that we’d need a director’s cut edition to include the entire party, I’m just gonna skip ahead to the S.S.C. Trust me, this is for the best. I’ll just tell you this: Good times were had, and many cupcakes were eaten.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

I actually decided to stick to a group that composed of myself, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie (Holy Mother, but she has a thing for spicy foods! She’s got Intestines of Steel), and Applejack. We made idle chit-chat while waiting for The Princess to appear, and Twilight even joined us for a moment.

I couldn’t help but shake the feeling that bad mojo was going down somewhere. Even as the mayor gave out a nice little speech, I couldn’t help but glance at the moon and notice that the stars definitely were aligning in a very specific pattern. With a sudden flash, the stars and the shadow on the moon disappeared. Three guesses as to what the shadow looked like and the first two guesses don’t count.

I gulped and met Twilight’s eyes. She had obviously noticed the disturbance in the force as well, and we both started to worry. Things suddenly reached a boiling point when the Mayor called out, “PRINCESS CELESTIA!”

The birds chirped in a perfect fanfare like fashion, while some intricately designed curtains were pulled back to reveal, in all of her glory…an invisible princess.

Everyone was silent, and I broke the silence first by saying, “Okay, if someone has the nerve to tell me that the princess is in another castle, I’m gonna snap.” The joke wasn’t taken very well, especially since this was the perfect moment for an evil villain to appear.

Pinkie Pie screamed and I looked up to the balcony where a glowing aura that reminded me of the night sky had suddenly appeared. With a flash of lightning (I flinched), a tall, regal looking Pegasus with the horn of a unicorn (What the feck are those called? Pegacorns? Bah, I’ll ask Twilight later) appeared. Her mane was as dark as the night sky, and her coat was as black as a moonless night. Her eyes were draconian in nature, and she held herself with haughty disdain.

“Oh, my beloved subjects. It's been so long since I've seen your precious little sun-loving faces,” She said with contempt in her voice. I noticed Rainbow Dash had attempted to rush her, and Applejack had the sense to make sure she didn’t try it.

“What have you done with Princess Celestia?!” I shouted, making sure to get her attention. If anything was about to go down, I wanted to make sure that everyone got a chance to get out of there.

“Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don't you know who I am?” She said, chuckling and reveling in the obvious confusion and fear of the ponies.

“Ooh! Ooh! More guessing games! Um... Hokey Smokes! How about Queen Meany? No! Black Snooty, Black Snooty!” Pinkie Pie called out helpfully, before getting a face full of cupcake. Way to go A.J.

“Does my crown no longer count, now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?” She said scornfully, angered by Pinkie’s insults. (I was a little miffed too. Dissing god-like evil is my thing!) She quickly shot around, scaring the others, most notably Rarity and Fluttershy. My anger started to rise, and I was about to shout an insult at her, when Twilight cut in.

“I did and I know who you are,” Twilight said fearfully, “You’re the Mare in the Moon…Nightmare Moon!”

“Well well well, somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here,” Nightmare Moon replied with fiendish delight.

“You’re here to-to” Twilight sputtered in fear, realizing the enormity of the situation.

Nightmare Moon chuckled, and shouted for everypony to hear, “Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forth, the night will last forever!”

She laughed evilly, and I glanced around at all of the scared faces. My sight fell on Apple Bloom, who was huddled with two other small fillies in fear, and the sight of them filled me with rage. No one, no matter how powerful or smart they are, can scare children when I’m around!

“You forget Nightmare Moon! The Morning Sun will always vanquish the Horrible Night!” I called out, getting her attention. She glared at me, and I added, “On a side note, I’ve always wanted to say that! Now I can move on to: Throw Pie at evil-godlike being and survive!”

I spotted a pie lying on a nearby table, and shouted “HEY HOLD STILL!”

The Mare in the Moon (and Omnius too!) Pt. 2.

Chapter 6:

The Mare in the Moon (and Omnius too!)

(Takes place during Episode 2 of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

As you may recall from last time, I had spotted a pie lying on a nearby table and was moving towards it, yelling “Hold still!” to Nightmare Moon. I jumped onto the table, and Sir Isaac Newton took over from there (For every action, there is an equal and opposite RE-action). My makeshift catapult launched the pie into the air-

-Where it hit the wall, approximately ten feet from where Nightmare Moon was standing. The evil being glared at me, and tendrils of darkness started to swirl around her, giving the appearance that a hurricane made out of a moonless night had appeared.

“Uh oh,” Was all I had time to say, before a bolt of lightning shot out from the tip of her horn and nearly burnt me to a crisp. As it was, I managed to roll out of the way, and the bolt hit the table, turning it into a smoldering pile of ashes.

“Seize her! Only she knows where the Princess is!” I heard the mayor call out, and three Pegasus ponies, wearing what reminded me vaguely of Centurion armor, leaped into action and flew at full speed towards Nightmare Moon.

“Stand back you foals!” Nightmare Moon called out, and more lightning flew out of the dark swirl, hitting the Pegasi in mid-air and sending them crashing to the ground. With a sudden flash, she had transformed into a wave of that same energy stuff that made up her mane and was flying out of the now open doors.

“You’ve just pissed off the wrong Mexicolt!” I yelled, and then did what might be the fifth dumbest thing that I’ve done yet: I jumped at her and managed to grab the end of the energy wave thing with my teeth.

As soon as my teeth had latched onto her, I felt a sudden, creeping, chill, seep into my bones. At the same time, I felt something try to force its way into my mind. The presence felt cold, but it somehow managed to burn with jealousy and cruel hatred. This was a being that wanted nothing more than to banish all that was its opposite and revel in the night’s eternal dark glory. At the same time however, I also felt a pale and uncontrollable fear, as if there was something that was being kept prisoner inside of the alien mind. I inhaled suddenly, as I realized that Nightmare Moon was trying to worm her way into my mind, and at the same time, I knew that there was something that she wanted to keep quiet…a separate voice that she desperately wanted gone.

  While Nightmare Moon flew higher and higher into the night sky, I felt myself grow weaker and colder, while my grip slowly loosened. I tried my best to hold on, but almost as soon as she had left the building and flown above Ponyville, my teeth slipped, and I felt myself plummeting to the ground. Too cold to even scream, I wearily watched the ground get closer at an alarming rate, and thought to myself: “This would be the perfect time to cut to a commercial.” Yep. Even when plummeting to what would appear to be my doom, I was thinking of how to best piss off the viewers.

“Omnius!” I heard a familiar voice cry out, and right before I crashed into the ground, somepony wrapped their arms around mine and caught me, halting my plummet. I shook off the last of the horrible cold feeling and looked up to see that Rainbow Dash had stopped me from becoming a street pizza.

“We have got to stop meeting like this. Somepony might think I’m falling for you,” I said, grinning slightly.

“Are you okay?” She asked, setting me on the ground gently and hovering over me.

“Yeah, I’m fine. What about you?” I rubbed my face with my hoof, glad that I could feel some warmth again. To tell you the truth, I had started to feel warmth return as soon as I had accidentally let go of Nightmare Moon, but it took a little bit for it to wear off. Ye Gods, it felt good to not feel that chilling cold.

“What? Why wouldn’t I be fine?” She asked confused, like there wasn’t any reason she shouldn’t be fine. Wait, she just said that.

“Well you did just catch a heavy colt who was falling at a high speed! I would imagine that that would hurt.”

“Nah, it’s nothing. You’re actually not that heavy,” She said, shrugging it off like it was nothing.

“Okay, that’s pretty cool,” I said impressed. I looked over to where the Town hall was and saw Twilight bolt out of it and make a beeline for the library.

“Uh, right. Thanks for the save Rainbow, but I need to get going!” I said, dashing towards Twilight. “Thanks again!” Rainbow frowned and started to say something, but I didn’t stick around to catch it. There was evil afoot! EEEEEEEeeeevil!

I caught up with Twilight just as she unlocked the door to the library. Spike was passed out on her back, and he occasionally muttered in his sleep. I held the door open for Twilight, and she walked in, her horn starting to glow. Using her magic/psychic unicorn powers, (which are awesome) she levitated the small dragon into a basket -like bed, and tucked him in.

“You’ve been up all night Spike! You are a baby dragon after all,” She whispered to him, even though he slept. Looking at them, it became painfully obvious that the small dragon wasn’t just an assistant to her. He was a friend, and a brother. Someone she knew better than almost anyone else, and was family to her.

Smiling at the warm tender scene that lay before me, I almost regretfully said, “Hey, come on Twilight! I said I was gonna help you and I meant it! Now what are we looking for again?”

“We’re looking for a book on the Elements of Harmony,” Twilight said, coming back into focus. She frantically started searching the bookshelves, using her magic to lift books off of the shelves, and I did the same, albeit without the magic, trying to figure out what book would have them.

“Elements, elements, elements!” Twilight let out a gasp of exasperation and quickly scanned another two books (speed reading, thy name is Twilight Sparkle!) “How can I stop Nightmare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?!”

“And just WHAT are the Elements of Harmony?” I heard Rainbow Dash say accusingly. I turned and saw that she had flown into Twilight’s face and was giving her the ‘Talk or else’ sort of interrogation. “And how did YOU know about Nightmare Moon? Huh? HUH?! Are you a spy!?”

“…Really Dash? You’re going to accuse a Pony who was terrified of Nightmare Moon, who was supervising the preparations of the Summer Sun Celebration under the Princess’s orders, and who is researching a way to STOP her, of being a spy?” I said loudly. “Does that sound kind of strange to you?”

“Simmer down, both of you! Twilight ain’t no spy!” Applejack said, walking in with Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie. I looked at all of them in confusion, and wondered what they were doing here.

“But you do know what’s going on, don’t you Twilight?” Applejack said gently, and six pairs of eyes looked expectantly towards Twilight.

Twilight hung her head, and said, “I read all about the prediction of Nightmare Moon. Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her, but I don't know what they are, where to find them, I don't even know what they do!” She said the last part angrily and looked out the window in fear.

“Hey, buck up there Twilight!” I said cheerfully, not wanting to see anypony look like that. “So what if we don’t know anything? As long as we don’t give up hope, we’ll be fine! It doesn’t matter how long it takes, I’ll make sure that we can beat Nightmare Moon! Even if it takes us years to find-”

“‘The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide,’” I heard Pinkie say, and turning, I saw that she was staring at a large, leather and gold bound book that had escaped my search.

Twilight dashed over, and pushed Pinkie Pie out of the way. She stared at the book incredulously, and asked, “How did you find that?!”

Pinkie skipped merrily around the room, and said in a sing-song voice, “It was under ‘E’!”

“Wow. I guess that would have been a good place to start searching, in retrospect,” I said, face-hoofing myself.

Twilight magically grabbed the book, and flipped open to a certain page in it, and started to read. “Oh. There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty and Loyalty.” (Go planet!) “The sixth is a complete mystery. It is said the last known location of the five elements was in the Ancient Castle of The Royal Pony Sisters. It is located in what is now-”

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

Moments later, all seven of us were standing in front of a dark and foreboding forest, where all of us said in perfect synchronization, “The Everfree Forest!”

I then blinked, and said, “Is it just me, or did we all speak in synchronize?” Pinkie Pie looked at me and giggled.

After a moment where we all just stood there and stared at the forest, my attention span had faded, and I decided, “Well, come on now! We’ve got evil butt to kick! Allons-y!”

“Not so fast!” Twilight said, stopping me with a look. “Look, I appreciate the offer, but I’d really rather do this on my own.”

Applejack simply walked forward, and said in that same stubborn tone of hers, “No can do, sugar cube. We sure ain't lettin' any friend of ours go into that creepy place alone. We're stickin' to you like caramel on a candy apple.”

“Especially if there's candy apples in there!” Pinkie chirped, earning a WTF!?! look from both me and Twilight. “What? Those things are good.” She trotted gleefully into the forest, leaving me and Twilight as the last ones to enter.

Twilight gave me a questioning look, and I shrugged, saying, “Hey, I promised to help you, and I intend to keep my promises. Now come on, we don’t want to fall too far behind!” I walked into the forest and caught up with the rest of the group.

Twilight sighed, and semi-reluctantly followed.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“So, none of you have ever been in here before?” Twilight asked nervously a few minutes later. I looked around at the trees and noticed that their branches curved like talons. It seemed like they were ready to seize any unwary pony (or Traveler) foolish enough to wander near them.

“Heavens no!” Rarity replied disdainfully, “Just look at it! It’s dreadful!”

Applejack glanced nervously, and said with a slight tremble in her voice, “And it ain't natural. Folk say it don't work the same as Equestria.”

“Really? What, does it have little leprechauns that do the weather instead of Pegasi?” I asked nonchalantly. They gave me the same look I had just given Pinkie, and I said somewhat defensively, “Okay, no Leprechauns. So what is it about the Everfree forest that’s kerskuffled?”

Rainbow Dash flew into a patch of moonlight that had seeped in through the trees and said in an ominous voice, “Nopony knows! You know why?”

Rarity, Pinkie, and Fluttershy all cringed in fear, and I stumbled, stopping myself from falling off of a cliff. “Whoa! Good thing I didn’t trip! That would’ve been a long fall.”

“Rainbow, quit it!” Applejack scolded the rainbow maned Pegasus.

Dash continued anyways, saying, “‘Cause everypony who’s come in, has never come OUT!”

“Oh come on Rainbow Dash! It’s just a forest! What could possibly go wrong?” I said dismissively, trying to hide my own fear that had started to creep up on me.

I have got to stop giving the universes openings like that.

As soon as I had finished speaking, the cliff we were all standing on cracked, and suddenly gave out from underneath us.

“Shit!” I managed to yelp, before tumbling down with the rest of the ponies, minus Rainbow and Fluttershy, thanks to their wings.

“Fluttershy quick!” Rainbow Dash called out, springing into action and swiftly grabbing a hold of Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy chanted her own little mantra (“Oh my goodness, oh my goodness”) and managed to clamp her teeth down on Rarity’s tail.

The cliff had fallen apart to reveal a sharply inclined hill with barely any safe foot, I mean, hoof-holds to use, and it ended in a sheer drop of maybe about a hundred feet. As it was, Applejack had managed to stop herself, and was currently the only thing that stood between Twilight and a vertigo inducing drop.

Fluttershy flew over to me, and I waved her away while I desperately grabbed at the dirt to slow my descent. “Go make sure the others get down safely! I’ll be fine!” When she didn’t leave, I shouted out, “Fluttershy, go! Rainbow Dash has already had to stop two ponies from plummeting to their doom already; she might need your help to save the others!”

“But what about y-”

“It’s okay! I’m too pretty to go out like this!” I said, finally reaching a root that stuck out of the side of the hill. I clamped down on it and sighed in relief when it held. “See? I’m fine! Now go help the others!” I called out to Fluttershy. The message was a little garbled, but she finally nodded and flew off.

“Applejack, what do I do?” I heard Twilight call out fearfully, while she hung precariously over the ledge.

Applejack strained, trying to pull her up, and then she spotted Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, who were hovering near Twilight. Applejack took a deep breath, and told Twilight, “Let go.”

“Are you CRAZY!?”

“No, I ain’t. I promise you’ll be safe,” Applejack said reassuringly.

“That’s not true!”

“Now listen here. What I'm sayin' to you is the honest truth. Let go, and you'll be safe,” Applejack said, her voice filled with sincerity and honesty. Twilight’s eyes widened and she took a deep breath to steady herself. She let go of Applejack’s hooves and started falling.

I gasped and nearly lost my grip on the root. If it weren’t for the fact that I had spotted the two Pegasi already flying in to catch her, I would’ve reverted back to my normal self and reveal that I’d been lying to them all along. What would that have accomplished you ask? It would have allowed me access to some of my other powers that I had learned, and I would be able to save Twilight. Thankfully though, she was safely caught by Rainbow and Fluttershy, and Applejack was already nimbly making her way down.

“Omnius, can you get down?” Applejack called up as soon as she had reached the ground.

“That depends: How many leaves are in that tree on your left?”

“Um…A lot?” Applejack said, confused.

“How many is ‘A Lot?’ You know what? Never mind, that’ll do. Make sure that nopony is standing underneath it!”

“Surely you cannot be serious about what I think you are about to do!” Rarity called out.

“I am serious! And don’t call me Shirley!” I yelled back. Then before they could say anything else, (and before I said something else that no one would get) I let go of the root and slid down the hill.

If you’ve ever slid down a hill that’s completely covered in dirt and small bits of rocks while picking up speed all the while, then you know that it is not fun (okay, maybe a little). Especially when instead of ending on a safe pile of ground, it ends in a sharp outcropping of rock that you plan on using as a ramp.

I want to say that I slid down the hill boldly, that I laughed at the face of danger, did a perfect swan dive through the air, and then gracefully managed to grab a tree branch and land on all fours, smiling and with a witty remark ready.

What really happened: I let out a girlish shriek, (higher pitched than Twilight’s scream) flew through the air, legs flailing, and then tumbled through the tree branches, managing to hit EVERY. SINGLE. BRANCH. On the last one though, I somehow managed to land on it in the most uncomfortable way possible: Between the rear legs. Fun fact kids, even as a pony, it still brought tears of pain to my eyes.

When I landed on the ground, (rear first) I dimly heard everyone asking if I was alright (and Rainbow Dash calling me an amateur). I stood up shakily, and said in voice that was an octave higher than my normal one, “I’m fine. Still in one piece. Don’t try this at home!”

“Why didn’t you wait for Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy to come and catch you?” Twilight asked patronizingly.

“…Because that’s a good idea, and I only get good ideas after I’ve done something stupid,” I said, grinning sheepishly. Everyone let out a laugh of relief at that, and I managed to ignore the throb of pain that shot through my legs every time I took a step.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Fifteen minutes later, Rainbow Dash was entertaining us by telling the amazingly unbelievably true story about how she, and a quiet timid Pegasus by the name of Fluttershy, had saved Twilight Sparkle from certain death…for the third time.

“And once Pinkie and Rarity were saved, Whoosh... Me and Fluttershy loop-de-loop around and WHAM! Caught you right in the nick of time!” Rainbow said proudly, holding her head high.

“Yes, Rainbow, I was there, and I'm very grateful, but we gotta-” Twilight gasped, and said fearfully, “A manticore!”

I looked to where Twilight had been looking, and nearly shouted, “A wild Manticore has appeared! Go Charmander!” Thankfully, I managed to control myself and instead analyzed it.

The Manticore was about three times the size of a normal pony and built like a tank. It had huge, bulging muscles and a large red mane that surrounded its lion-like face. Oddly enough, its paws were placed like that of a bull dog, with shorter back paws, and larger front ones, with the front legs ending in something that vaguely reminded me of hands. It had large, red and tan wings on its back and a deadly looking scorpion tail that lashed out violently, instead of a normal lion’s considerably less dangerous tail.

“We’ve got to get past it!” Twilight shouted. I couldn’t help but think to myself, ‘No duh Captain Obvious!’

Rarity surprised me by being the first one to attack. She bucked the Manticore right in the kisser, and said triumphantly, “Take that, you Ruffian!” The manticore then gave off an earth rumbling roar, right in Rarity’s face and sent her running (whether from fear of the manticore or fear of her hair getting even poofier, I don’t know.)

As Rarity ran away, I thought I heard Fluttershy try and say something, but I instantly forgot about it when Applejack suddenly leaped onto the Manticore’s head and was currently yee-hawing it up, just like it was an old-fashioned Texan rodeo (with Manticores.) Needless to say, the manticore was pissed, and it wasn’t going down without a fight. With a shake of its mighty head, the Manticore sent Applejack flying into the air, where she screamed at Rainbow Dash, “Whoa! All yours pardner!”

Rainbow Dash saluted and said, “I’m on it!” and then took off, flying around the manticore at near super-sonic speeds, creating another rainbow colored tornado around the Manticore. I honestly thought that for a moment, maybe with that tornado move we had actually beaten the Manticore! Until it suddenly clothes-lined Dash with its tail, and sent her flying towards me.

“Tag me in! Tag me in!” I cried out, and then gave Rainbow a high hoof as she flew over me. Grinning, I charged the Manticore, going over plans in my head.

“Okay, you’re too big to be taken out by sheer force, and smart enough to know how to clothes-line a Pegasus in mid-air. That leaves me with one option!” I said, dodging a swipe of the Manticore’s paws.

When the Manticore opened its mouth to roar its challenge at me, I quickly scooped up some dirt and rocks off of the ground and threw them into its mouth. Its eyes widened and it started making coughing sounds, and I yelled, “What’s the matter? Don’t like rocky road!?”

Apparently not, because it then hacked up the rocks and spat them into my face. While I frantically tried to rub the rocks (and bits of hairball) out of my eyes, the manticore saw the opportunity and smacked me away with a massive paw. I felt a sharp jab that underlined the blow and then went flying. I landed next to Rainbow Dash, and said, “Fancy meeting you here. Did you take the Manticore, or the cliff?”

I got up and offered a hoof to Rainbow Dash. She took it gratefully, and I helped her up off the ground.

“Everypony okay then?” I called out, and got an affirmative from everyone present. “Good. Alright, on the count of three, we all charge that thing! Everyone agree?”

“Um, actually, maybe we should-” Fluttershy started to say, but couldn’t quite get out.

“ONE!” I pawed at the ground and snorted, like a bull getting ready for the charge.

“Wait…” Fluttershy said quietly.

“TWO!” I ignored her and reminded myself to apologize later.

“Wait…” She was a bit louder this time.

“FIVE!”

“Don’t you mean three?” Twilight asked.

“THREE!”

We all charged at the manticore (Well, most of us. Pinkie was skipping into battle) and just before we could attack, Fluttershy flew in front of us, and yelled, no, SHOUTED, “WAIIIIIT!”

I think it was the shock of hearing Fluttershy, of all ponies, shout that stopped all of us. I gazed in disbelief, as she calmly walked to the angry beast, as if it was something she did every day. The Beast roared and prepared to give Fluttershy the biggest bitch-slap anypony had ever seen, and we all cringed in anticipation of the blow…

…And then Fluttershy nuzzled the Manticore’s lowered paw. My jaw dropped, as I watched as the anger disappeared from the beast’s face, and was replaced with the look of a scared kitten. As strange as it sounds, I’m telling you, that’s what happened! The Manticore slowly opened its paw and revealed that a large black thorn had planted itself into its paw.

“Shh…It’s okay,” Fluttershy said gently, looking at the thorn. “Oh, you poor, poor, little baby…”

“Little?” Rainbow Dash whispered in disbelief.

“Baby?” I said, shocked. Ye Gods, but if it…erm, I guess I should stop calling him an “it”, huh? Anyways, if he’s only a baby now, how big would he look fully grown?

“Now this might hurt for just a second,” Fluttershy said sweetly, before biting into the thorn and pulling it out.

The Manticore grasped Fluttershy, bellowed in her face…and started licking her happily, like a kitten does for their mother.

“Aw you're just a little ol' baby kitty, aren't you? Yes you are, yes you are,” Fluttershy said in the same tone that someone would use on their favorite pet.

“…Okay, raise your hoof if you didn’t see that coming and agree with me when I say we should listen to Fluttershy more often?” I said after a few moments.

Everypony raised their hoof (Pinkie tried for three hooves in the air at once), and I nodded saying, “Motion carried.”

While everypony walked off, with smiles on their faces, I stuck back with Twilight, while she asked Fluttershy, “How did you know about the thorn?”

“I didn’t. Sometimes we all just need to be shown a little kindness,” Fluttershy said, matter-of-factly. Twilight frowned, and then gave a small smile and followed the others.

“You guys go on, I’ll catch up. I just wanna make sure that this thorn doesn’t get stepped on again,” I called out, picking up said thorn in my mouth.

As soon as I felt that alien presence trying to force its way into my mind, I spat out the thorn, and yelled, “NO! You are not getting in my head!”

The Thorn transformed into the swirl of dark magic that was Nightmare Moon and seemed to laugh at me. My eyes narrowed, and I growled at it, “Alright, I have a feeling that you know who I am and what I can do. So I’ll only warn you once.” I leaned closer to it, and said in a low voice, “Stay away from those ponies, and stay the fuck out of my head.”

Nightmare Moon laughed and flew off, leaving me to glare at the sky. Twilight came back, and said cautiously, “Omnius? Who were you talking to?”

I blinked, and shook my head. “Um, just talking to myself. Sorry, it’s a bad habit. Why don’t we go and catch up with the others?”

“Alright.”

We walked back to the group, where I said cheerfully, “Well, come on now! We ain’t gonna get far just standing here! Let’s go find us some Elements!”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

We continued our quest and walked deeper into the forest, where the trees got thicker and the path was almost completely overtaken by wild plant life. It was hard for me to take a few steps without tripping over a vine that had snaked its way over the path.

“Eugh. My eyes need a rest from all this icky muck,” Rarity commented, casting a disapproving eye over the gnarled trees.

Suddenly, as if the universe had heard Rarity, the trees became thicker, effectively cutting off the pale moon light that had illuminated our way.

“Wish Granted. You now have two wishes left,” I said sarcastically.

“Well, I didn't mean that literally…”

“The ancient ruin could be right in front of our faces and we wouldn’t even know it!”  Twilight said, a trace of fear in her voice.

“I’ll let you know if I run into it,” I mumbled underneath my breath, stumbling over a rock. I bumped into one of the others and nearly fell on my face for the umpteenth time that day.

“Sorry about that. Can’t see a thing in this mess,” I said apologetically to Rarity.

“Ugh, I think I stepped in somethin’,” Applejack said, stopping to look at her hooves.

Fluttershy let out an ear piercing shriek of fear, and I nearly yelled words that are not fit for pony ears.

“What? It’s just mud,” Applejack said, looking back at both me and Fluttershy. She then noticed what we had noticed a few seconds ago: A tree…with a face…that had teeth. She screamed, and jumped back to join us.

Everywhere we looked, the trees had now acquired soulless, piercing eyes, and their unending gaze felt like it was boring a hole into my skin. Their branches took on the appearance of merciless talons, sharp and thirsty for blood. What had once appeared as simple bird-holes now widened, and transformed into a gaping maw, hungry for anything that would be foalish enough to wander close enough.

I stood, shocked that I was feeling this much fear. Around me, the other ponies had started to scream in fear, and I felt just as terrified as they did. It wasn’t natural, I mean, I’ve literally had to fight beings that were made of nothing but pure fear, and I had managed to taunt them time, and time again! Looking at the others, and seeing their fear, I tried to ignore my fear and say something reassuring, when I heard the last sound I had expected in this situation:

Laughter.

I swallowed, and said nervously, “P-P-Pinkie? What are you doing?”

All of the other ponies had stopped screaming and looked to where Pinkie Pie was laughing her head off, and making faces at the Tree monsters. She kept laughing and for some reason, the sound of her laughter drove the fear I was feeling out of my heart. It may seem unbelievable, but to hear her laughter, all bright and cheerful, after seeing those mind numbingly terrifying faces on the trees, sounded like…Words cannot describe it (I’ll invent a new word for it later. Just remind me!)

“Oh sillies, don’t you see?” Pinkie Pie said, and as if that was her cue, she started singing.

“When I was just a filly and the sun was going down!”

“Tell me she’s not…” Twilight started.

“Please, for the love of all that is good, tell me she’s not singing!” I said, paling a little. Okay, I like musical numbers, don’t get me wrong! But when it’s ME in the musical number, I start to panic a little bit.

“The darkness and the shadows would always make me frown!”

Okay, she just blatantly disregarded the laws of physics and popped in like she was on a cartoon…I LOVE this world!

“She is,” Rarity said simply.

“I'd hide under my pillow from what I thought I saw

But Granny Pie said that wasn't the way to deal with fears at all!”

“Then what is?” I asked, and then cringed, realizing I had just given her more lines to sing.

“She said: Pinkie, you gotta stand up tall, learn to face your fears

You'll see that they can't hurt you, just laugh to make them disappear!”

She then gave off a loud, “HA! HA! HA!” at a tree and the face on it poofed out of existence.

Pinkie turned and gave us a happy smile, with a twinkle in her eye.

All of us gasped and looked at each other incredulously. I grinned, and then we all went to separate trees, and started to laugh at them, while Pinkie kept up the background music.

“So, giggle at the ghostly,

Guffaw at the grossly,

Crack up at the creepy,

Whoop it up with the weepy,

Chortle at the kooky,

Snortle at the spooky!”

I reached my tree, looked at it, and laughing, said, “I ain’t afraid of no Ghosts!”  With a poof, the faces on all of the trees started to disappear, and then Pinkie got in her last…lyrics?

“And tell that big dumb scary face to take a hike and leave you alone and if he thinks he can scare you then he's got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just makes you wanna... HAHAHAHA...heh...” She stopped to take a breath, and tried to stop her laughing for a moment.

“Laaaaauuuuugh!”

As she finished the song, all seven of us were rolling on the ground, laughing. I was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down my face, and my sides started to hurt. Out of the corners of my eyes, I saw that light had started to come down through the leaves again, illuminating the area, and showing us that our fears really were unfounded.

“Okay, come on, before my ribs fall off!” I wheezed out, still chuckling. A few minutes later, all of us had managed to pick ourselves up off the ground, and we were on our way, with our morale higher than ever.

As we went, I couldn’t help but feel ashamed of myself. I had let my fears get the better of me in the forest, and if those had been actual monsters, my new friends would have been torn to pieces. If Pinkie hadn’t managed to keep her wits about her, we all probably would have stayed there, too frightened to move.  I resolved to never let that happen again, and that no matter how scared I would get, I would keep my new friends safe.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Moments later, still laughing to ourselves, we reached the edge of a raging river. Well, more specifically, Pinkie had been leading the group with her joyful skipping and had stopped suddenly, causing all of us to collide with the pony in front of us. I looked around the seven pony pile-up and spotted the raging river in front of us.

“How are we gonna cross this?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“Very carefully,” I replied, looking at the water.

While Pinkie Pie opened her mouth to say something random, I shoved my hoof into her mouth, and shushed her, saying, “Wait, listen!”

All of the ponies went silent, and we heard loud sobbing noises coming from further up the river.

“Let’s go check it out! Somepony might need our help!” I said, already heading towards the heartbroken sobbing.

When we reached the source of the sobbing noises, I had to grab my jaw to keep it from dropping again. I craned my neck, and looked up to where a purple sea serpent, of all things, was sobbing his heart out, and thrashing about violently in the water. Something else I noticed was the fact that he had a very expensive looking hairdo and half of a well groomed mustache on his face.

“Excuse me sir,” Twilight said, trying to get the Serpent’s attention, “Why are you crying?”

The Sea Serpent sniffed, and said sorrowfully, “Well, I don't know. I was just sitting here, minding my own business, when this tacky little cloud of purple smoke just whisked past me and tore half of my beloved mustache clean off, and now I look simply horrid!” He sobbed even harder and did a melodramatic dive into the water, giving us all an unwanted shower.

I stifled a gasp when he mentioned the purple cloud. Was Nightmare Moon toying with us? Or was she honestly scared we would find the elements? If she was, we needed to be careful. Crazy villains get desperate when they’re frightened.

“Oh gimme a break!” Rainbow Dash said impatiently.

“THAT’S what all this fuss is about?” Applejack asked disbelievingly.

“Why, of course it is,” Rarity suddenly spoke up angrily. “How can you be so insensitive? Oh, just look at him. Such lovely luminescent scales.”

The Sea Serpent sniffed, and set his head down onto the ground next to the river, and said, “I know.”

“And your expertly coiffed mane,” She went on, pouring on the flattery.

The Serpent, with a little more energy, said, “I know, I know!”

“Your fabulous manicure!”

The Sea Serpent gasped and picked himself up, extending his neck up high enough that I had to crane my neck to see his face.

“It’s so TRUE!” He cried out, examining his nails.

“All ruined without your beautiful mustache!” Rarity said sympathetically.

“It’s true! I’m hideous!” The Sea Serpent cried, and then the water works came on full force.

“It’s okay brother… I know how I’d feel if someone tried to shave me,” I said, sniffing a little and fondly rubbing my beard.

“Omnius are you crying?” Applejack said in disbelief.

“No, I just got struck by lightning earlier and it messed up my tear ducts! The point is, I understand your pain dude,” I said, patting his scaled neck.

“I simply cannot let such a crime against fabulosity go uncorrected!” Rarity said passionately. She arched her neck over, and bit off one of the serpent’s scales.

“Ow! What did you do that for?” He asked, a tear springing up in his eye.

“It’s okay! She’s trained in the art of fabulous!” I said, backing up slightly.

Rarity started brandishing the scale like a sword, and Twilight asked, “Rarity, what are you-”

Before she could finish, everyone let out a shocked gasp, and the Serpent straight up fainted for a second, his head crashing into the ground.

The unthinkable had happened: Rarity had cut off her own tail. I’m pretty sure if I didn’t have any dignity left, I would have let out a girly squeal of fear at that. Using her magic, Rarity levitated the tail into the air, and magically grafted the tail onto the remains of the ruined half of the Serpent’s mustache.

“Ohohohoho!” The Serpent laughed gleefully, “My Mustache! How wonderful!” He started doing his own small little poses, and I felt happy for him. Hey, you get a beard and start taking pride in its appearance, and you appreciate other people’s facial hair a bit more!

“You look smashing!” Rarity said happily, looking at the Serpent’s display.

Twilight looked at the remains of Rarity’s once fabulous tail, and said sadly, “Oh Rarity, your beautiful tail…”

“Oh. It's fine, my dear. Short tails are in this season,” She said, and then with some forced cheer, added, “Besides, it’ll grow back.”

“So would the mustache,” Rainbow Dash mumbled.

“So would your mane,” I shot back, glancing pointedly at the scale.

Rainbow Dash got the message, and decided not to say anything else about facial hair. Smart Pony.

Twilight gasped, and pointed towards the now calm river, saying, “We can cross now! Let’s go!”

We approached the River, and Twilight started treading the water, only to be lifted by an improvised stepping stone, formed from the back of the Sea Serpent.

“Allow me!” He said, with the air of a gentleman.

“Thanks!” I called out, and then we all hopped across the Serpent’s back, and crossed the river.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Man, there are a lot of screen wipes!

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

After a few minutes of walking, we came upon a small clearing. Looking ahead, Twilight gained a huge smile on her face, and said joyously, “There it is, the ruin that holds The Elements of Harmony. We made it!”

Ahead of us, there was a large chasm that was connected by an old rope bridge, and on the other side of the mist filled gorge was an old, decrepit looking Castle. In its prime, it must have been quite a sight to see, with flags bearing the royal sister’s coat of arms waving triumphantly in the wind and all of the nobles gathered in the court, waiting to catch a glimpse of their wise and benevolent rulers. Now, it just looked abandoned and lonely, a shadow of its former self. Wait, can a building look lonely? It can now!

We all cheered, and I said, “Lead on, Twilight Sparkle! We’ve got a Princess to save!”

Twilight raced ahead, picking up speed and nearly left us all in the dust.

“Twilight, wait for us!” Applejack laughed.

“We’re almost there!” Twilight said, and then nearly fell off of a cliff, when she failed to notice that the ropes that suspended the bridge had snapped and the bridge was now hugging the cliff.

I quickly snapped my head forward and bit Twilight’s tail, getting a good grip on it. Once again, I failed to account for momentum and nearly fell off with her. Luckily, I had braced my hooves on the old posts that were sticking out of the ground, and Rainbow Dash had grabbed onto MY tail and pulled both of us into safety.

“What is it with you two and cliffs today?”

“I’m a fan of cliff hangers!” I replied, letting go of Twilight’s tail.

Silence.

“Wow, tough crowd,” I mumbled.

“Now what?” Pinkie asked, as we all tried to see the bottom of the gorge.

Rainbow Dash fluttered her wings, and pointedly said, “Duh.”

“Oh yeah!” She gleefully said, as Rainbow Dash flew into the dense fog and then resurfaced, holding an old rope.

“Hey, you know what’s weird?” I asked, looking at the remains of the rope on the post that was on the other side of the ruined bridge. Even at this distance, there was something about it that was bothering me.

“Hm?” Twilight said distractedly.

“Well, if that rope had fallen apart from old age, the ends of the rope would be frayed, right?” I asked, and then continued, saying, “So why does the end of that rope look smooth, and just as new as it did before?”

Twilight’s eyes widened and she looked at the rope that Rainbow had just set on the ground. “You’re right! But that means-”

“Somepony cut it on purpose,” I finished grimly.

We were all silent for a moment, and we waited for Rainbow Dash to tie off the rope so we could cross the bridge. I got bored and decided to try an experiment: I leaned my head over the gorge and spit into it. Rarity gave me a disgusted look, and I merely shrugged and strained my ears, trying to hear the inevitable ‘plunk’ sound.

“Rainbow, what’s taking so long?” Twilight called out, voicing what was on all of our minds.

I looked up from my experiment, and my eyes widened in shock. Rainbow Dash had already landed on the other side of the gorge and was talking to three sickly pale Pegasi. Each of them wore a strange purple and black costume, resembling the same costumes that the Wonderbolts wore. Instead of the lightning bolt symbol though, they had a pony skull with wings on it.

“Oh no,” I cursed, desperately wishing that I had been put into a Pegasus body instead of an Earth pony body.

Twilight had noticed the dark Pegasi as well, and she tried to get Rainbow’s attention by yelling, “Rainbow! Don't listen to them!”

What must have been the leader of the trio glared at us, her eyes glowing with a sinister energy, and the fog thickened, cutting off our view of our friend and leaving us guessing as to what was happening.

“Damn it!” I swore, forgetting in my anger that the ponies had probably never heard that word before.

We watched the bridge nervously, and I could feel my helplessness and fear rising. If something happened to Rainbow Dash…

Before I could finish that thought, the fog parted, and Rainbow Dash flew through it and landed in a triumphant pose, while we all cheered wildly.

“See? I'd never leave my friends hanging!” Rainbow said proudly, flying next to us.

We marched across the bridge, and since I was the last one, I figured that I should do something random (Pinkie Pie will not out-random me dammit!), and did a ponified version of a moonwalk. Naturally, I stumbled and ended up doing a backwards somersault.

“I meant to do that!” I called out, as I got up shakily. I looked up and saw the doors to the ancient ruins.

“Allow me, ladies,” I said, opening them with a kick and bowing with exaggerated poise.

“Thank you sir!” Rarity said as she walked past me.

We walked into the castle, and I felt that same overwhelming sense of abandonment permeating the air. The floors were covered with dust, and the once proud pillars were now covered with moss and small vines and webbed with small cracks. There were gaping holes in the walls, revealing the night sky, and the windows were gone, cracked, or covered with cobwebs.

“Wow, I gotta say, they got the spooky decor down pretty nicely,” I commented, kicking up a small puff of dust.

In the center of the room was a large pedestal, and on top of it was a large grey sphere, resting on a base that connected to five other small spheres, each with a shape like a triangle or a diamond carved out onto them.

“Are those…?” I trailed off, looking at the dusty spheres.

“The Elements of Harmony! We’ve found them!” Twilight said ecstatically, looking like she had just gotten the best Christmas present ever.

“I can’t reach!” I said, standing on my back hooves and extending my front hooves up as high as I could. A small coughing sound from Rainbow Dash made me face-hoof myself, and I backed away, letting the Pegasus ponies do the work.

“Careful, careful!” Twilight said anxiously, as they set them on the ground.

“One, two, three, four…there’s only five!” Pinkie Pie said, and then looked around, like the sixth element was playing Hide-and-seek.

“The book said: when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth Element to be revealed,” Twilight pointed out, setting herself down next to the elements.

“What in the hay is that supposed to mean?” Applejack asked, a hint of irritation entering her voice.

While they were busy talking about that, I glimpsed what looked like writing set into the main pedestal, and had went closer to read it. The writing was curved, like the old fashioned elegant script that was popular during medieval times, and flowed easily. Somehow the moss and overgrowth hadn’t even tried to cover it up, leaving the words exposed for all who had come here to see.

I adjusted my glasses, and started reading it out loud.

“When the Evil Star releases Equestria’s greatest fear, six will become seven, and The Eternal Traveler will bring with him an eternal hope.”

I blinked, and re-read the inscription three more times, to make sure that I didn’t read it wrong. Three things stuck out to me.

1) This was a hidden part of the prophecy that foretold the return of Nightmare Moon.

2) The ‘Evil Star’ must have had something to do with the power of the stars that released Nightmare Moon in the first place.

3) While there are three Travelers that can’t die, and will exist for forever and beyond that, there’s only one with the word, ‘Eternal’ in their title.

Swallowing, I backed away slowly, and called out to the other ponies, “Girls? You might want to see this.”

The others walked over, and silently read the inscription I had just seen. They all looked confused, and started to talk all at once.

“Evil star?”

“Six becomes seven?”

“Eternal Traveler?”

“Cupcakes!”

“Girls!” I finally shouted, getting them to be quiet. “Sorry, but let’s not worry about that right now. We should focus on getting that sixth element, right?”

They all nodded, and I turned to Twilight, and asked, “So, any good ideas?”

“Just one. Stand back, I don’t know what will happen,” Twilight said, setting herself down in front of the ring of spheres.

“Come on y’all, she needs to concentrate,” Applejack said, leading the others outside. She looked questioningly at me, and I waved at her to go outside. She shrugged, and went with the others. Walking silently, so as not to disturb Twilight, I went over to the inscription, and read it again. Nothing had changed, even though a part of me desperately wished that it would.

Shaking my head, I turned to watch Twilight work her magic. Her horn was glowing, and steadily becoming brighter, and her face was beaded with sweat, as she concentrated, and started building up magical energy.

My eyes widened as the stones started to rise into the air, and started floating in a circle. I opened my mouth to tell Twilight she was certainly doing something, when the circling stones picked up speed, and started to form a dark blue, twinkling, tornado…dark…blue…Ye Gods.

“Twilight! Run!” I called out, and she opened her eyes and let out a small shriek. Everypony who was outside called out Twilight’s name, worried for her safety.

“The Elements!” Twilight cried, and then, in an attempt to upstage me for dumbest thing done today, she jumped into the tornado, with me close behind her.

Instead of getting violently tossed around inside of the tornado, like I expected, there was a flash of bright light, and I was standing next to Twilight inside of what I presumed to be another room in the castle.

I took a brief moment to observe my surroundings. It was built exactly like an audience chamber, wide, circular, and with a place of honor for the princesses. My legs stiffened, and I saw that Nightmare Moon was standing there, her own personal lightning storm surrounding her and the Elements that were levitating around her.

Nightmare Moon laughed evilly, reveling in what she surely thought was her greatest victory. Hearing her laugh, like she had won after all we had gone through to get this far…it pissed me off.

“Twilight, do you think that if you could get to those elements, you might be able to get that ‘spark’ going?” I whispered, eyeing Nightmare Moon.

She narrowed her eyes, and said in a determined voice, “Yes, I just need enough time to build up enough magic.”

“Then go! I’ll hold off Nightmare Buffoon over there.”

“But she’s too strong! You can’t beat her! You saw what she did to the Royal Guards!”

“Yeah, but I don’t have to beat her,” I said, pawi-er, I mean, hoofing (?) the ground. “I just have to make sure you can get that sixth element.”

“Omnius-”

“FOR PONY!” I yelled, and then charged, full speed, at Nightmare Moon. Twilight’s eyes widened and then she quickly replaced it with the look of someone who’s on a mission and can’t fail as she charged alongside me.

“You’re kidding. You’re kidding right?” Nightmare Moon said arrogantly. When we didn’t stop our charge, she ran out to meet us halfway. Before I reached the tyrannical beast, Twilight had suddenly teleported (Damn, that’s cool) and had landed in the circle of spheres, gathering as much magic as she could, leaving me to hold off the Horrible Night.

I jumped at the last possible moment, planted both of my front hooves on Nightmare Moon’s head and yelled, “Hoof to the head!”

She rolled with the blow, and took the opportunity to brush me aside with one of her wings. I twisted in the air, managed to land on my hooves, and charged at her again. This time however, she was ready, and she started jabbing at me with her horn, laughing while I dodged. She kept up the attack, stabbing at me with her horn like an expert fencer, and it took all of my focus to not get impaled on that sharp implement.

“Oh, this is rich!” She said scornfully, when she had grazed my flank. “Torrentican told me that you were supposed to be an incredible warrior, yet here you are, struggling to dodge even the simplest of attacks!”

My eyes widened, and she laughed again. “Oh yes, I know all about you, Traveler! You see, it was thanks to Torrentican that I managed to escape my prison, and he told me of your unique abilities!”

She jabbed at me again, and this time she gave me a shallow cut along my ribs. I gasped at the sudden, stinging pain. This time though, I was ready. While her horn was lowered, it also meant her head was lowered. Seeing the opening, I leaned my head back, and then brought it down, full force, onto the right side of her face.

There was a loud, CRACK, as our heads collided, and I gleefully said, “HA! You ain’t got nothing on apple trees!”

While I said my witty one liner, she then hit me with one of her wings, sending me crashing into a wall. While I struggled to get up, Nightmare Moon quickly moved to where I was, and she stabbed her horn through my front left leg. I cried out in pain, and just to spite me, she sent a wave of electricity through her horn, hurting me even more.

“Omnius!” I heard Twilight scream, while I struggled to get up. My wounded leg refused to support my weight though, and I kept falling every time I tried to stand.

Nightmare Moon looked to where Twilight was and had to shield her eyes from the brightness of her horn. Finally realizing what Twilight was attempting to do, Nightmare transformed herself into a swirl of dark magic and warped inside of the circle of stones. With a blinding flash and a crackle of electricity, Twilight released the magic, the force of which sent her flying away.

“No, NO!” Nightmare Moon called out in fear, watching the stones as they started to glow…and then do absolutely nothing.

Twilight gasped, and asked anxiously, “But, where’s the sixth element?!”

Her evil smile returning, she laughed triumphantly and then reared back, lifting up her hooves…

…and then she brought them down, crushing the elements and reducing them to shards.

As we watched, she grinned, with her dark storm reappearing, and said triumphantly, “You little foal! Thinking you could defeat me? Now you will never see your princess, or your sun! The night will last forever!”

Watching all of this, I looked over to see Twilight looking on in horror. As Nightmare Moon spoke, I could see the fear on her face, and it was clear that she was starting to give up hope…

…hope…

Setting my teeth in a determined grimace, I slowly summoned all of my remaining strength and managed to stand up, holding my injured leg off of the ground. I started to make my way towards Nightmare Moon, and seeing my pitiful attempt at walking she cackled madly.

“Do you honestly believe that you can still defeat me? You really believe that you have a single hope of victory? You, who have absolutely no idea of who or what you are?” I think she threw in that last piece on purpose, mocking what I had used as an excuse so I wouldn’t have to tell anypony the truth.

Panting in pain, I said in a low voice, “I may not know who I am, and you may be incredibly powerful, but I know that you’re wrong. As long as there are stars in the night sky, and as long as there is somepony willing to go on, there is always hope! Besides, I promised that I wouldn’t let any evil-godlike being hurt my friends, and I intend to keep that promise!”

Twilight looked up, a sparkle in her eye, as she remembered me saying that too her earlier that day.

The sparkle in her eyes got even brighter, as all three of us heard the others, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie, calling our names and telling us not to worry, that they would be there soon.

“You think you can destroy The Elements of Harmony just like that?” Twilight asked, her tone confident and heroic. “Well, you're wrong, because the spirits of The Elements of Harmony are right here!”

The others had finally found us and were currently standing next to Twilight. I managed to stay standing as I gave Nightmare Moon my best, ‘you sir, are screwed,’ look. Suddenly, the fragments of the elements started to glow different colors, and they floated into the air, suspended by magic.

“Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, represents the spirit of... honesty!” Twilight called out, and the shards that were glowing with an orange light started to circle her, almost rejoicing, if that makes any sense.

“Fluttershy, who tamed the manticore with her compassion, represents the spirit of... kindness!” This time, the shards that had a pink light surrounding them flew around the gentle Pegasus, bathing her in their soft light.

“Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger, represents the spirit of... laughter!” Okay, you can guess what happened now. I shouldn’t have to describe it.

“Rarity, who calmed a sorrowful serpent with a meaningful gift, represents the spirit of... generosity!” More shards, more circles around ponies.

“And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her own heart's desire represents the spirit of... loyalty!” Twilight said, and I felt a moment of pride for these six ponies that I was lucky enough to call friends. “The spirits of these six ponies got us through every challenge you threw at us!”

“Six?” Nightmare Moon repeated.

“I was there too!” I said weakly.

“You still don't have the sixth Element! The spark didn't work!” Nightmare Moon said desperately.

“But it did! A different kind of spark,” Twilight said, and then she turned to the others and continued, saying, “I felt it the very moment I realized how happy I was to hear you, to see you, how much I cared about you. The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all. Are my friends!” She then turned back to the frightened monster, and said in a clear voice, “You see, Night Mare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the... the spark, that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element: the Element of...Magic!”

With that, a sixth orb had appeared, giving off a brilliant, pure light. With that bright light, the broken shards started combining to form a necklace on each pony, each with a gemstone set into them. The new orb however, transformed completely, and Twilight gained a small tiara, with a purple crystal shaped like a six-pointed star set into it.

“Hey Nightmare Moon…” I wheezed, walking forward. The true Elements of Harmony started to glow, and the room was bathed in a multitude of multi-colored lights. As Twilight’s eyes started to glow with an inner light, a massive rainbow shot out of the ring of friends and headed towards Nightmare Moon.

“Taste the rainb- YE GODS!” I cried out, as the rainbow blast suddenly diverted its course and flew around its new target…ME!

“What’s going on!? The evil thingy is OVER THERE!” I shouted, and then realized that all of my wounds had suddenly healed, and my energy was being restored. I felt newfound energy flowing throughout my body, giving me newfound strength.

“Okay, that’s not what I expected,” I murmured, as I suddenly felt myself…growing?

[Right now, I'd suggest listening to "The Ecstasy of Gold~The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly"]

There was no mistaking it. My limbs were extending, and I could feel a brief, but sharp, lance of pain shoot through my head and back, as if something were growing there. I glanced at my coat and noticed that it was slowly lightening, from the tan color I had grown used to, to a pure, blinding white color. I looked at my flank and saw that my cutie-mark had started to glow, and it was shimmering like the northern lights but with more colors. My tail turned into a shimmering golden color, and every time it shifted, a brief flash of colors would fly through it.

What was even more surprising was that this was an Aura of mine, one that I could rarely, if ever, summon myself. So far, the only time I’ve ever been able to summon it myself, without any magical or technological assistance, was…well, that’s another story for another day. Anyways, this aura was easily the most powerful one of the bunch, enhancing virtually every one of my powers, and it granted me access to some of the powers that I hadn’t even mastered yet. But like I mentioned before, I couldn’t ever summon it at will, unless the situation was truly dire. Because of that, I feel like I haven’t even scratched the surface of its potential.

Of course, an epic aura like that had to have an epic name. Unfortunately, the best I had come up with was Super Aura. I am determined to get a better name for it. Okay, back to the fight.

“…Okay, I’m never gonna get another chance to say this: By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN EQUESTRIA!” I cried out, my voice echoing slightly.

Nightmare Moon’s eyes widened and she stumbled backwards, saying, “No! This is impossible! You’re not- You can’t- He told me-”

A beam of rainbow colored magic shot out from my head, and connected to Nightmare Moon’s pitch black horn, and I felt my mind come into violent contact with hers. I remembered what I had felt every time she had tried to breach my mind and realized that the Elements had not only granted me this power, but something else as well, something that was more important than power:

A chance to save somepony (Yes, I do mean PONY, if I’m correct.)

For a brief moment, I saw myself through Nightmare Moon’s mind and kept going, skimming over her thoughts. Probing into her mind, I reached deeper, searching for the fear that I had felt her trying to contain. I knew that I couldn’t have gotten this far into her mind without some sort of power boost, and I briefly wondered if it was the Elements that were giving me power.

Sifting through her conscience, I could still feel the Hatred and Anger that Nightmare Moon felt, but they were quieter, as if something was muting them. After a few seconds, I found what I was searching for, and focused my attention on it.

Picture a cold, damp cell. No windows, no light, just a simple barren, gray walled area, sealed off by an iron door that had lost its sheen long ago. It’s small, cramped, and just looking at it seems to suck out all of the happiness you’ve ever felt in your life.

That’s where the fear that I felt from Nightmare Moon was kept imprisoned. All of my instincts screamed at me to tear down the door and free the terrified victim inside of it. Being this close to the mental prison, I could also feel other emotions, like sorrow, and regret.

Outside of the mind, my body called out in a loud and powerful voice, “Nightmare Moon, you have committed one of the most atrocious crimes ever conceived: The binding and enslaving of another to your will. Whether it was willingly done, or whether you were created from the negative emotions of this pony’s heart and then took control does not matter!”

A dent appeared in the door of the prison.

“Because of this, you have caused suffering to many innocent creatures, and you gleefully rejoiced in their pain!” The words flowed from my mouth, and I don’t even remember thinking of it. I was reacting purely on instinct.

The dent grew larger and the walls shuddered with the force of the blow.

“But worst of all, you have done something that is fundamentally wrong on all levels of existence: You have imprisoned a Goddess of Good!”

Cracks appeared in the walls as the door finally fell apart from the force of the blow.

“Therefore, with the power of the Elements of Harmony, I hereby banish you from her heart, mind, and soul!” I cried out, my voice echoing, and causing small bits of the roof to fall.

With a blinding flash of light, the prison disintegrated, and I could feel the pain that the light caused the Nightmare. With a final pulse of light, she finally left the body she had stolen over a thousand years ago. Without a body, it was just a cloud of sickly looking purple smoke that struggled to hold itself together.

I bared my teeth, and snarled, “Be gone bitch!”

A small breeze blew away the cloud, taking it away from the castle.

“Omnius?” I heard a small voice ask tentatively, and I turned, still in my Super Aura, to see that all six of the ponies had gotten up, and were looking at me with a mixture of awe, fear, and joy.

“Don’t worry, it’s still me,” I said, grinning.

“But you look so…” Applejack started, but seemed at a loss for words.

“Different?” I supplied.

“Well, I suppose that works,” she replied, blinking.

“Yeah. Don’t worry; I just gotta…get some…” I trailed off, and then felt a wave of exhaustion pour over me. I looked at my coat and noticed that it was dulling to its original dark tan color, and my limbs were shrinking back to their normal size (Ah crap, I’m starting to say that looking like a pony is normal now! Oh well, I guess that’s not a bad thing). As my limbs shrank, I felt another brief headache and backache, making me think that something was growing back into me.

After I had reverted back to my normal pony form, I staggered suddenly and would have fallen if not for Twilight rushing forward to catch me.

“Nice Tiara,” I commented through numb lips, feeling completely drained.

“Nice necklace,” She replied, looking at my neck with a strange expression on her face.

“Huh?” I wittily replied, and then looked down.

Indeed, like Twilight said, there was an orb of green crystal set into a simple circle of gold. Unlike the thick gold bands that made up the other necklaces however, mine was merely a thin golden chain that wrapped around my neck loosely.

“What is…?” I struggled to stay awake, and leaned heavily on Twilight.

“‘Six will become seven,’” Twilight quoted grimly, and the realization of this gave me a bit of energy, and I lifted the gemstone gently in my hoof.

“You mean this is…?”

Warm sunlight suddenly washed through the windows, and I heard a noble, yet gentle voice call out, “Yes Traveler. Your unique strengths have proven that The Elements of Harmony were missing something, something that is needed by all creatures, no matter who or what they are.”

I tried to turn and look, but the light shined into my eyes, and the voice spoke softly, like that of a mother to a hurt child, “Sleep Omnius. You have earned it.”

“Who…are you?”

Before she could answer, I passed out from exhaustion and fell asleep.

Confessions of an Eternal Traveler

Chapter 7:

Confessions of an Eternal Traveler

(Takes place during the end of Episode 2 of My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic)

I woke up in a comfortable, clean bed.

As if that wasn’t strange enough, I actually felt well rested, and I could feel an unfamiliar weight pressing against my chest. I rubbed my head with my hoof and tried to remember all that had happened before I had passed out. I remembered that we had all gotten to the ancient ruins…we found the Elements of Harmony…I had said something about skittles…transformed into my Super Aura…My eyes shot open, and I jumped out of bed, yelling, “Nightmare Moon! I’ve gotta-”I went quiet once a soft magical aura surrounded me, gently restraining me, and keeping me from doing anything reckless (Damn it). A white unicorn with pink hair and a red cross on her flank stepped into my line of sight, her horn glowing slightly.“Easy there, you were out for a while. Although I must admit, you woke up sooner than I had expected,” She said, smiling, and levitating me back into the bed.“What happened? We were at the Ancient ruins, and then we-”“It’s alright. You have nothing to worry about. I am Nurse Redheart, and you’re in the Ponyville Medical Clinic. According to what the Princess told me, you expended quite an amount of energy, both mentally and physically, and needed to be monitored until you woke up,” The unicorn patiently explained, looking over a clipboard that I was willing to bet had a lot of medical mumbo-jumbo on it.“But what about the others? Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy? Did they- I mean, are they okay?” I asked desperately.Nurse Redheart walked over to the door and opened it, saying, “See for yourself.”Five ponies burst through the open door, and my heart soared with relief. They surrounded my bed and started talking all at once, happy to see that I was okay, and I felt myself get hugged at random. Nurse Redheart nodded her head, and walked silently out of the room, barely noticed by any of us.“Alright, alright, one at a time!” I laughed, and then looked around. “Hey, where’s Pinkie Pie?” I asked, concerned. “She’s okay, isn’t she? And what about Nightmare Moon? Did we win?”They all started talking at once again, and I had to call out, “Wait, hold on! I have speak-lexia! If more than one pony starts talking in a loud voice, it sounds like a garbled mess to me!”This time, it was Twilight who spoke, saying, “Do you remember how we had found the sixth element?” I nodded, and she continued, saying, “Well, instead of directly being used against Nightmare Moon, the magic that was unleashed from the Elements of Harmony was fired at you, causing you to transform.”“What did I transform into?”“As luck would have it, Pinkie Pie actually brought her camera with her-” Twilight started, but then I interrupted.“Wait, she had a camera with her? Where did she keep it? On second thought, don’t answer that. It’s Pinkie Pie, that’s all I need to know. Please continue.”“As I was saying, she had brought her camera with her, and she got a picture of you. Would you like to see?” Twilight asked, levitating a small photo to me. I grabbed it gingerly with my hoof (I have come up with a solution as to how Ponies can grab things without fingers: Magic Magnets) and looked at it.I had never really seen myself in my Super Aura, except for brief glimpses in my visions, so this was interesting to me. In the photo, there stood a tall, powerful looking Pegasus, with a pure white coat, and a shimmering golden mane and tail. His mane seemed to be blown back, and it almost glowed with a life of its own. It was almost impossible to make out the cutie-mark, since it was glowing so brightly. The Pegasus wore golden, thick framed glasses, and his eyes shined with immeasurable strength.  Above his eyes, in the middle of his forehead, was a long, spiraling, unicorn horn.“Is that really me?” I quietly asked, handing (hoofing?) the picture back to Twilight.“It sure is. With the help of the Elements of Harmony, you were transformed from an ordinary Earth pony into-”“A totally awesome super-powered mega pony!” Rainbow Dash finished, flying over my head and doing a pose.“Aren’t they called Alicorns?” Fluttershy added quietly (Aha! I knew I’d find out what the heck they were called!).“Same thing!”“I wouldn’t say that he is an ‘ordinary’ pony,” A new voice said, a hint of laughter in her voice. All of us looked towards the door, and I saw a regal, noble looking Alicorn walk into the room.She was tall, about the same size as my Super Aura, and she carried herself with an air of wisdom and authority. She had a long (even by pony standards), literally flowing mane that was colored with varying shades of sky blue, spring green, and pink. Her tail was even longer, and it shimmered with the same colors as her mane. Even though there was no wind, her mane and tail seemed to move as if they were being caressed by a gentle breeze. Emblazoned on her flank was an image of a golden sun, and her hooves were covered in something that resembled royal cuffs (or shoes. I dunno). Atop her head, fitted around her horn, was a golden crown with a purple diamond set into it.All of the ponies in the room bowed in her presence, and I just did a mini-salute, and said, “Yo!”The gathered ponies gasped, and the Alicorn’s lips twitched in poorly hidden amusement.“Omnius, that’s Princess Celestia!” Twilight hissed under her breath, and I blinked.“Princess Celestia? Oh, wow, um, Hi?” I managed, scratching my head. “Uh, okay. How’s your day been?”Silence reigned supreme in the room, and I felt my face get hot enough to cook an egg. I desperately cast about for a topic and went to the old fallback: Say the first thing that comes to mind.“So anyone here ever had a quesadilla? I could really go for one of them right now,” I said, while Twilight continued to look mortified. I kept going, saying, “Personally, I just like mine with no lettuce or anything, just pure cheese. Then you get the tortilla cooked just right, so that it has just the right amount of flake-age, and maybe have a side of French fries to go with it! Mm, that is some good food right there!”At this, Twilight hid her head underneath the bed, while the others shifted around nervously. Princess Celestia then decided to end my rambling by laughing, and she said, “I’m sure it is. I’m glad to see that you are alright. Not very many creatures can handle as much energy as you did last night.”I coughed slightly, and asked, “Last night? But how long have I been sleeping?”“Long enough for Pinkie Pie to finish preparing the festivities, which are being held to welcome the return of my sister. Speaking of whom…” Princess Celestia stepped away from the door and allowed a smaller, dark blue Alicorn to walk into the room. She was just a mite taller than normal ponies, and her hair was an icy blue color. She seemed familiar to me somehow…“Wait a second!” I shouted, realizing why she was familiar, “You’re the one that the Nightmare was keeping imprisoned!”The Alicorn nodded and kept quiet. She seemed to be trying to come up with the right words, and she couldn’t seem to find them. She looked pleadingly at her older sister, and Celestia nodded as they communicated silently.“Twilight, if you and your friends would please excuse us, we would like to talk to Omnius about his memory loss,” Princess Celestia said, her tone leaving no room for argument. The lavender unicorn looked at me, and I gave her a casual smile. My heart sank as all of the ponies left, and I had to fight the urge to break out into a cold sweat.As soon as the last pony had left, Princess Celestia used her magic to shut the door and close the blinds on the windows. While she did that, Princess Luna’s horn glowed, and the walls glowed a dim shade of blue, so subtle that you could only really notice it if you glimpsed it out of the corner of your eyes.While they worked, I got out of bed and stretched my legs, surprised by how stiff they were. I cracked my neck and sighed in relief. I adjusted my glasses one final time and turned to face the Sun and Moon.All three of us stood there for a moment, as the two Princesses silently watched me. I waited silently and tried to quell my own rising suspicions. After a minute, I broke the silence again (I tend to do that a lot) by asking, “Princess Luna, how do you feel?”She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and said in a controlled voice, “We cannot be sure. We feel joy and ecstasy at finally being freed from the grips of Nightmare Moon, but we also feel shock and awe at how much we have missed since being imprisoned in yonder moon for nigh on one thousand years.” She took a breath to steel herself and continued, saying, “We also feel gratitude to the bearers of Harmony, and to thee, for thine efforts and for not, giving up, as it were.”I blinked at both her use of the word ‘We’ and her use of the old timey dialect. I went over what she had said, and replied, “Nay, it is I who must thank thee, for if thou had not been willing to reach out to me when the Nightmare had attempted to enter mine mind, mine efforts to free you from thine prison would have been all for naught.” At her evident surprise at my ability (Or inability. It’s been forever since I had to use that to talk) to use old dialect, I continued, saying, “Mine understanding is that thou art more at ease with ye old method of speech, as you have yet to properly acquaint thineself with this form of speaking.”Princess Luna smiled, and said gratefully, “We thank thee yet again, Traveler. But we would wish you to speak as you are most comfortable with and to ignore our discomfort. We will have to learn thine way of speaking eventually.”I let out a sigh of relief at that. “If you’re sure.” Then I tensed and realized she had called me ‘Traveler.’ Uh oh.Luna continued speaking, and I snapped my attention back to her. “WE, um, that is—we are also saddened, because we have almost no friends who are…” She trailed off, her voice slipping.I felt an anger at the dark force that had corrupted Luna and stolen so much from her, and I said, “Well, don’t worry about that. I’ll be your friend!”Her eyes widened, and I said, “Hey, come on! Don’t be surprised! You looked like you needed a friend, and now you have one!”This time, a huge smile lit up Luna’s face, and I felt the overwhelming happiness that came with it. It made me feel good, and I scratched my head, slightly embarrassed by what I had said.Princess Celestia nodded, as if she had confirmed something for herself, and she said, “I am glad to hear you say that. Now as to your lost memories, Omnius: Have they returned to you yet?”I cleared my throat, and said carefully, “I guess you could say that. One could also say that they had never left at all and are just dormant, waiting to be called forth.”Princess Celestia smiled softly, and she said, “You do not have to hide anything from us Omnius. Both of us know who you are.”My eyes widened as I backed up slightly, and asked fearfully, “You mean you-I mean you were- I-”She nodded, and said, “Yes. I am one of the beings that created you, as is my sister.”I felt my jaw drop from the shock of this revelation, and I suddenly remembered all of the events that had taken place last night as the pieces clicked into place inside of my head.  Gasping, I felt myself swaying, and I grabbed the bed frame for support. Taking several breaths to steady myself, I said quietly, “Then that means that not only did I just ask a Goddess if they’ve ever eaten a quesadilla, but I also saved her sister from the darkness that had corrupted her and just became her friend. That’s new, even for me!”Princess Luna tilted her head slightly and I explained, saying, “Cooked tortilla with melted cheese inside of it, it’s delicious, I highly recommend it. Add lettuce or peppers if you want some extra flavor. Maybe an onion if that’s your thing, but personally, I hate the taste of onions.”Luna allowed another small grin to show itself on her face, and Celestia chuckled. I grinned, and then slapped a hoof onto my face, and said, “Oh what am I doing? I’m advertising food to a Goddess! Next thing you know, I’ll be telling you how to best accessorize with those crowns of yours!”“Please, do go on. I would love to know what I should wear to the next Grand Galloping Gala,” Celestia said, grinning.“Wait, you have a sense of humor!” I said joyously. “That means that I can make jokes! YES!”They both laughed at this, and the tension that was in the room disappeared. I felt relaxed. I looked up at the Princesses, and asked, “So you both are Goddesses of Good?”“Correct. Both I and my sister are Goddesses of Good, and you, Omnius, are the Eternal Traveler of Good,” Celestia said, glad that I had caught on.“How long have you known about it?”“Ever since you entered this world. At the time, Princess Luna was still imprisoned on the moon, and as I knew that the time of her freedom, from both the moon and the Nightmare, was drawing near, I felt it would be best if you just did what you had to do, and let the forces of Good guide you,” She explained, walking closer to me.“Wait, then you knew that Nightmare Moon was coming all along! Why didn’t you trust Twilight then?” I asked, putting things together in my mind.“I told her that she needed to make friends, nothing more. I never said that I didn’t trust her, did I?” She said slyly, nudging me with her hoof.“Clever girl. So that means that since you knew it was coming, you also knew that Twilight needed to learn about Friendship so she could get that spark going, right?”“Indeed. Now Omnius, even though you have done so much for everypony here, I must ask of you to do something else for us,” Celestia said with a trace of slight sorrow in her voice.“Name it,” I said confidently.“Would you please show us your true form?” She asked with no hint of the joking tone that was present earlier.“Um, you mean my, not pony form, right?” I asked nervously, not making eye contact. This was the first time I had been asked that by a God or Goddess. Normally I’m already in human form, or they just straight up demand I show them, but again, another story for another day.“Yes Omnius. I want to see what I helped to create,” She said softly, and something in her voice drew my eyes to hers. They were smoldering violet orbs, and they showed a wisdom that transcended time, and a longing for her subjects to not just view her as a ruler, but as a friend who they could rely on. She already felt the same way about almost all of her subjects, and that included even me. She gazed into my eyes, and I into hers, and I sighed. I can’t help it; I’m a sucker for sad faces (that aren’t annoying little girls).“Alright,” I said, and then I grabbed the blanket from the bed, used it to cover myself, and called out, “Please make sure there are no rubber chickens, cans of coke, or wattage exceeding that of a lightning bolt in the vicinity!”Hearing no response, I closed my eyes and brought all of my focus onto changing back into myself. Normally, it’s not a painless process, and there is almost always a violent stinging sensation that goes along with my form shifting.After the familiar stings, I opened my eyes to see that under the blanket I had successfully turned back to…normal. I grabbed the blanket in my hand, tossed it to the side, and stood up, stretching my back.“Omnius?” I heard Luna ask tentatively.“The one and only, at your service! Literally in this case,” I said, giving a small showman’s bow. “So, how do I look?”Princess Celestia walked around me, and cast her eyes over me. Her face was a neutral mask, as she took in everything about my form, from my jeans, to my Hard Rock Café button-up shirt that lay open over a white shirt that had my insignia added to it, in a solid blue color. I nervously fiddled with the plain silver colored ring on my finger, as neither Princess said anything for a while. Something else that caught my attention was the fact that the necklace bearing the green orb hadn’t disappeared either. Instead, it had adjusted its length to fit loosely on my neck, and it hung openly on my shirt.“Hmm…” She started, and my heart rate skyrocketed, my nerves getting the better of me. “I didn’t know that humans could have acne like ponies do.”I facepalmed (Facepalm! I missed you! It’s just not the same with a hoof!), and said, “Out of all the things to comment on, you say something about my zits?”She smiled, and said mysteriously, “Well, with you here, I have an idea that you aren’t the first human I’ve seen.”I groaned, and said, “Oh, a sense of humor AND crypticness. Is my presence somehow connecting you to alternate dimension/reality versions of yourself? Or are you being serious about the seeing humans before bit?”“Only time will tell if that is the case,” She said, just a cryptically as she had before, and I groaned again.“Thank you Princess Trollestia.”Luna chose this time to speak up, and she said, “We feel the same way Sister. Is this truly the workings of the Traveler?”“It is. You see, in the case of the Greater Forces of Good, as Goddesses, we can sense his connection to other planes of existence and glimpse our other selves,” Princess Celestia confirmed. She then smiled at me, and asked, “I know of your names, but would you please say them yourself?”I inhaled, and then said, “I have many names, but there are three names that matter to me and one title that makes up who I am.”She nodded, and motioned for me to continue.“The name that the Gods and Goddesses of Good gave me: is Omnius the Traveling Guardian. The name that my parents gave to me at my birth: is Sean Nathaniel Brandenburg. The name that I use for undercover work, and as a nickname, is Nathan Traveler.”As I said that, Luna had walked up to join her sister, and I said the last line in a proud voice, as if I was challenging everyone who hated me or wished to do harm to the innocent, “I am the Eternal Traveler of Good!”After I said those words, I felt my body tingle with energy, and the green crystal started to glow, giving off a faint, white light. I gently grasped it in my hand, and I felt the power that was inside of it, and a faint connection to six other ponies (No prize for guessing which ones).“Princess, I have to know: Did I really accidentally create a seventh Element of Harmony?”She closed her eyes, and said, “As it was said in the prophecy, you have brought with you an Eternal Hope.”“Then that means that…”Luna spoke this time, and she said, “Hail Omnius, Bearer, and wielder, of the seventh Element of Harmony: Hope.”I lifted the Element up to my eyes and stared at it, losing myself in its emerald depths. “I also just have one other question.”Celestia raised her eyebrow, and I asked, “How come it isn’t blue, or white? Those are two of my favorite colors, and as much as I like green, I kinda would have preferred blue. I mean, it just compliments the brown of my eyes!”We all shared another laugh at that, and I sat down on the bed.“Art thou going to show this,” She gestured towards my entire body, “to thy friends Omnius?” Luna asked, walking up to me.I sighed, placed my head in my palms, and thought about it for a moment. “I honestly don’t know. I mean, it’s not that I’m afraid of them being afraid of me, it’s just that…well…I’ve been lying to them.” I got up, walked over to where the window was, and partially moved some of the blinds so I could see outside. I continued talking, and said, “They trusted me. Heck, Applejack even let me work on her farm until I could get back onto my hooves, so to speak, and I lied to all of them. I know that it isn’t anything I haven’t done before, but…” I sighed, and said, “I guess the years haven’t made it hurt any less. Now I’m worried about how they’re gonna react if I tell them.”The tip of a white wing touched my shoulder. I turned to see Celestia had a sad smile on her face, and Luna had a look of sympathy on her face.“Omnius, I would be worried if it didn’t bother you,” Celestia said wisely, “All that this means is that you care for others, and you don’t like to hide things from them.”“Thou shouldst be proud that thou can still feel regret for hiding the truth,” Luna added, going to stand by her sister, with her eyes sparkling.“Yeah, I know. Not to sound rude or anything, but I’ve heard that speech before. I know that it’s a good thing to feel like that, but I’m still afraid that once I tell them…” I trailed off, my mind bringing up pictures of harsh rejections. It wouldn’t be the first time that it had happened, but would it be the first time I couldn’t make amends?Celestia sensed my distress, and said, “Do you really believe that they wouldn’t be your friends anymore?” I opened my mouth to answer, and she cut me off, saying, “That’s insulting to them! Do you really think that they’ll see you any differently? Think about this for a moment! Would Twilight Sparkle, with all of her knowledge, be so ignorant as to let this new information change her opinion of you?”“Well, no, she’s too smart for-”“And what about Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty? She wouldn’t let something like this turn her away from a friend!”“Okay, you’ve got a point there, but-”She continued, as if this was something she had been thinking about for a while. “Applejack wouldn’t forget what you did for her younger sister, and Rarity certainly wouldn’t consider it proper to hold a grudge! Fluttershy is one of the kindest ponies around, who is willing to accept anypony for who they are and Pinkie Pie-”“Is Pinkie Pie,” I finished, feeling ashamed of myself now. I forced myself to look into Celestia’s eyes, and I said, “Is this some sort of magic Princess power that you have?”Surprisingly, it was Luna who answered this time. “Neigh,” (Get it? She said neigh, but…oh never mind) “but when thou entered our mind and freed us from our prison, we also caught a brief glimpse of thy past adventures. What we saw, we almost forgot as soon as it passed, but we remember thy feelings of sorrow, and decided that it would be best if we were to attempt to persuade you to confess, and then we would, erm,” She paused, trying to find the right word, and then said, “Comfort thou?”I smiled and brushed away some stray tears that had tried to leak out of my eyes. Stupid lightning bolt, making me cry at random.“That is what we say, correct?” Luna asked, “Mine apologies, but we are unaccustomed to speaking in such a manner. Normally, we would speak in the royal speaking voice as well, but Celestia suggested otherwise, and it is a chore to do so.”I laughed, and said, “No, you’re fine. It’s just me being a sap is all. Thank you, both of you. You’ve shown me how big of a fool I’ve been.”Then, acting on an impulse, I grabbed Celestia and Luna (not really as hard as you’d think) and pulled them both together in a quick hug. Before they could react, I said quickly, “Thank you.”Celestia shifted her wings and wrapped one around me and her sister, as did Luna (although it felt as if she were unused to doing something like that), and all three of us stood there, the two Alicorns, and a Traveler, hugging each other, and giving a measure of strength to one another.I then let go of both of them, and grinned. “Now then, what’s this I hear about a party?”

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Moments later, I stretched out my legs, and shook my mane. I was back in top pony condition and had already shaken off the pins and needles feeling. Saying goodbye to the Princesses, I left the room and walked out of the building, my thoughts ricocheting inside of my head. I was so preoccupied with them, that I almost failed to notice that all six of the ponies, Pinkie Pie included this time, were waiting outside, looking worried.“Oh! Hey! Didn’t see you there,” I said, trotting up to them.“Did you get your memory back?” Applejack said, getting straight to the point.“Yeah, about that…” I sighed. “Girls, I have a confession to make,” I said, looking at them all. The Princess was right. I couldn’t hide anything else from these ponies- no. I couldn’t hide anything from my FRIENDS. “But it will have to wait until after the party!”Hey, didn’t say I couldn’t procrastinate!“Are you sure? I mean, that is, I’m sure that you are sure, but do you really want to wait until, um, after the party?” Fluttershy asked softly.“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Besides,” I added, “It’s kind of a, um, whopper.”“Ooh, a whopper! I’ve had some of those before! Like this one time, I found a new recipe for cake, and I was gonna bake it when I saw that we were out of flour, and then I had to go and buy some more, but when I got back, I-” Pinkie Pie started, but then I quickly cut her off.“Yeah, right Pinkie. But seriously, come on! Let’s go rock our flanks off!” I said, running towards the center of town. A sudden pink blur ran in front of me, and I stopped in order to avoid collision.“Silly! The party isn’t over there! It’s over here!” She said, skipping towards the opposite direction.I decided to try my hoof at bouncing, and followed, cheerfully saying, “Follow the pony!”As soon as I said that, my hoof came into contact with a loose pebble, and I tumbled to the ground, saying, “I regret nothi-oof!” That last part was me colliding with the ground.“…So ground, we meet again!”    By the time we had made it to the entrance of Ponyville, the party was in full swing. Somepony (Cough cough *Pinkie* Cough) had placed decorations all over the buildings, and the trees had small bundles of flowers tied onto them. Basically, the place looked more festive and cheerful, and you could feel everyone’s excitement at being able to welcome the return of Princess Luna.Seeing some picnic tables that were loaded with food, I squeed in delight, excused myself from the group, and dashed over, my stomach taking temporary control. Spying a plate loaded with muffins, I grabbed one and tore into it.“Muffin! I’ve missed you so much!” I said between bites. “Don’t you ever leave me again!”While I was devouring my third muffin, I heard a giggle, and I turned to see a familiar cross-eyed (Or is it wall-eyed? I can’t ever remember) Pegasus.“Ditzy!” I said, grabbing a muffin, and tossing it to her. “It’s great to see you again!”She opened her mouth, and managed to catch and swallow the muffin in one bite. She grinned, and said, “Good to see you too! How’s your amnesia?”“Gone with the wind!” I exclaimed, biting into another muffin. “Mm, these are good. Now, with this muffin, you can tell that the blueberries were picked at just the right time, and then carefully preserved until the time of baking. This has obviously been carefully prepared, as evidenced by the golden brown top and by how it just seems to capture the baked good’s flavor, locking it in, until bitten into!”“Wow Omnius! Were you a food critic before the memory loss?” Ditzy asked, a look of wonder on her face.“Nah, I just thought that would make me sound smarter,” I said, finally moving away from the muffins. I walked over to the gray and blond Pegasus and said happily, “But that does sound like something I’ll have to try in my Travels. Heck, it wouldn’t be the strangest thing that I’ve ever done!”“What is then?” A new voice called out. I looked over and saw The Doctor grinning at me from the other side of the table.“Hey, what’s up doc?” I asked, going over to him and giving him a high hoof. “Oh, hey, Doc, have you met Ditzy?”“Why, yes I think I have,” He said, grinning wryly. Ditzy laughed, like there was some sort of inside joke between them, and I shrugged, deciding that I would find out eventually.“Well, glad that’s taken care of.”“You still haven’t answered my question,” The Doc pointed out.“Oh, right. Well, let’s see…There are a lot of strange things I’ve done. But how to choose…Ah, okay, I’ve got it! Pick a number between one and thirteen!”“I beg your pardon?”“Look, there are a lot of weird and strange things that I’ve done. I just thought of the first thirteen that popped into my head, and I’ve only got enough time to tell you about one. So pick a number please.” I explained.“Alright, um…seven!” He said, chuckling.“Ooooh, good choice. Alright, now this is one of my better stories,” I said laughing. I then stopped suddenly, and looked at Ditzy questioningly.The Doctor sensed what I was worried about, and he quickly spoke up, “Don’t worry, you can trust her. I hope this doesn’t anger you, but I took the liberty of telling her about your, erm, Traveling, so to speak.”I sighed, and said, “Doc, if I didn’t know an alternate version of you, then I would have made sure you could only eat through a straw for doing that. As it is, I believe you.” I turned to Ditzy, and said, “Alright, if The Doc trusts you, I trust you. Just make sure that nothing hears about this.”She nodded her head, and I looked around to make sure nopony was listening. I nodded, satisfied, and then started telling them one of my stories.“Alright, now you ponies know about the Everfree forest and how it looks, right? Well, imagine that, but with more trees, and there’s lush, green, non-sinister plant life everywhere. Everywhere you look, there’s another unique bit of animal life, from elephants, to giraffes, to gorillas. This jungle is on an island way out in the ocean of another world and it has all of the scenic island stuff. This, my friends, is Kong Island!” I paused for dramatic effect, and continued.“Now, to cut a long story short, there are two important groups that are around this island: The Kongs, who are a group of friendly banana loving primates, and the Kremlings, a group of dastardly pirate-like crocodile thugs. Now, for some strange reason, the leader of the Kremlings, King K. Rool, decided to steal the Kongs’ precious Banana Horde. Now, being a friend of the leader, Donkey Kong, I figured I had to help them out, but…”

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“D.K, there is no way, absolutely NO FREAKING WAY, that you are getting me to jump into that barrel!” I said stubbornly for the fifth time.We were both standing next to a cliff with a five hundred foot drop, surrounded by green trees, with chirping noises coming from the jungle foliage around us. There was an overly large barrel with a white explosion symbol painted on it standing next to me, and I gulped whenever I looked at it.The huge gorilla pointed at the barrel and grunted at me, and I said, “Oh come on! You’re telling me that that barrel will launch me across that gap and into another barrel, and THAT barrel will shoot me to another barrel, and then that barrel will launch me into the cave we’re supposed to go to?”D.K nodded his head vigorously and I facepalmed. Rubbing my face, I turned to gaze across the cliff, and I could just barely make out some small dots that hung in the air, suspended by nothing. I gulped again and stepped back, away from the drop.“Why can’t we send Diddy first?” I asked, looking at the baseball cap wearing monkey. Said monkey then shot me a look and I raised my hands, saying, “Joking!”Donkey Kong rolled his eyes, and then he picked me up with one of his massive hands.“Uh, hey, D.K? What are you do- OH GOOD GANDHI NO!” I cried out, as soon as I saw that he intended to put me into the barrel. I struggled for a second, before the gorilla dropped me into the barrel. I gulped, and curled up into a tight ball, hoping that this would work.The barrel spun in place for a moment and stopped suddenly. The jungle got quiet for a moment, and the only sound you could hear was the sound of my heart beating like a jackhammer in my chest. Just when I thought it was safe to attempt to climb out, there was a resounding BOOM, and I was suddenly flying through the air, while the Kongs started beating their chests and hooted with excitement.“I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!!!” I shouted as I flew through the air, the wind causing my eyes to water. I felt myself start to slow down, and the ground suddenly started to look like it was getting closer.“It always slows down when I say that, doesn’t it?” I complained to no one in particular before I dropped into another barrel. This time, it skipped the spinning sequence, and I felt myself being launched violently into the air. I reached out with one of my hands and managed to snag a random bunch of bananas.“Where did these come from?” I wondered as I clutched them to my chest. I fell into another barrel, and before I knew it I was flying again, this time with more speed than before. I opened my mouth to say something, but another stray banana smacked me in the face, and I managed to grab it with my teeth. By the time I felt myself slowing down, the other side of the cliff had come into sight, and a large cave entrance could be easily seen.I crashed into the ground and rolled to soften the landing. I stood up, shaking from the adrenaline rush, and walked over to the cave entrance, laughing.“Woooooo!” I heard a deep voice call out. I leaned against the entrance to the cave and watched D.K and Diddy land perfectly on the cliff. They looked at the bananas I was holding and I shrugged.“I don’t know how this island does it, but I love the fact that we can find these just randomly floating in the air,” I said, breaking off a few bananas and tossing them to the primates.We sat and enjoyed a brief banana lunch, and then walked into the cave, ready to take on a giant…beaver?“-and that’s a story for another day,” I finished. As soon as I had stopped talking, The Doctor and Ditzy both started to laugh, and I joined them.“You mean to tell me, that a gorilla had to pick you up and force you into a barrel, just because you were too frightened to do it?” The Doctor said, wheezing from the laughter.“Here’s a joke for ya Doc: What does a gorilla do when he crosses the street?”“I don’t know, what?”“Whatever he wants!” I said, and then we roared even louder, causing a lot of the ponies in the area to stare at us for a moment.  I stood up and said, “Well, it was great seeing you again Doc, but I gotta vamoose. My friends are waiting over by where the princesses are supposed to be riding into town, and I wanted to be with them for it.”“Say no more, I understand. I’ll see you around Omnius!”“Take care Ditzy,” I said, trotting away.“Bye Omnius!”Still chuckling, I made my way over to the group (Spike had managed to find everypony at some point) and Pinkie Pie asked me, “What are you laughing about?”“Oh, just an old story I told to some other friends. Remind me to tell you some time,” I said, and then cut off any other questions Pinkie might have had by saying, “Hey, look, it’s the princesses!”All of the ponies gathered watched in awe, as a golden chariot/throne was pulled by four of the royal guards. Sitting in the chariot, the perfect picture of royalty and wisdom, were the Princesses of the Moon and Sun, holding their heads high and invoking a sense of majesty from all that were gathered.Everypony present, including myself, bowed low to the ground once the Princesses had stepped off of the chariot. Two small Pegasus fillies flew over to where Princess Luna was staring sadly at the ground, and adorned her with a flower necklace. She looked surprised at the sudden show of affection, but then she smiled, and I think everypony cheered when they saw that.As we all cheered, I noticed that Twilight had edged herself away from the rest of us, and was looking downcast. Apparently Princess Celestia had noticed as well.“Why so glum, my faithful student? Are you not happy that your quest is complete and you can return to your studies in Canterlot?” She asked.“That's just it. Just when I learned how wonderful it is to have friends, I have to leave them,” Twilight said sadly, looking mournfully at her newfound friends (I was included! I feel special!).We all shifted awkwardly, and the festive mood disappeared, replaced by one of worry and sadness. Well crap, just when I get to tell everypony about my Traveling, one of the ponies has to leave. Even the ponies who didn’t know us looked sympathetic.Princess Celestia then got a knowing twinkle in her eye, and she said, “Spike, take a note, please.” The purple dragon complied, taking out a roll of parchment and a quill, and he scribbled furiously. “I, Princess Celestia, hereby decree that the unicorn Twilight Sparkle shall take on a new mission for Equestria. She must continue to study the magic of friendship. She must report to me her findings from her new home in Ponyville.”Everypony let out a loud cheer at that and I laughed. Of course she gets to stay!  The plot wouldn’t make much sense otherwise! With the other five Elements of Harmony, I went over to Twilight, and ignoring everypony present, wrapped my foreleg around her neck, gave her a gentle noogie, and started cheering like crazy.After we had all given Twilight a congratulatory, ‘Hex Yes, you get to stay!’ hug, she looked at Celestia with gratitude in her eyes, and said, “Oh thank you, Princess Celestia! I'll study harder than ever before!”We cheered even harder at that, and I lifted Twilight onto my shoulders, balanced carefully on my back legs, and yelled, “This calls for a celebration!”“But we’re already at a party!” Applejack pointed out.“Wow, Pinkie Pie works fast! Speaking of her, where’d she wander off to?” I asked, looking around.“Um, Omnius? Could you set me down now? Please?” Twilight called from above me. I blinked and looked up, forgetting that I was the one lifting her.“Oops. Sorry ‘bout that,” I apologized, setting her down on the ground. “If you excuse me, I’m gonna go look for the Pink wonder.”“Good luck with that,” Rainbow Dash said, “I betcha five bits that you can’t find her before she finds you!”“Challenge Accepted,” I said, already diving into the crowd of ponies. The rainbow colored Pegasus said something else, but I was already going into full stealth mode, and I had started to play the theme music fromMission Impossiblein my head.I quickly hopped into a covered food cart and rode it silently; going unnoticed by the tall, gangly looking yellow Earth pony that was pushing it. I poked my head out, and glanced quickly around. Spying a dark alleyway, I rolled out from the cart (grabbing a pastry from it in the process) and silently hid in the shadows of the alley.My eyes darted around, trying to catch a glimpse of the Pink Pony, and then I saw her off in the distance, a little ways away from Ponyville. I grinned and thought to myself, “I have you now.”I quietly hid behind a tree and bit into the cinnamon roll I had snatched. I peeked from around my position and my jaw dropped. Pinkie Pie was talking…to the air. That is, she was talking to supposedly nothing, and I quickly tried listening in on what she was saying.“Isn't this exciting?” She was saying, before she had to take a breath. “Are you excited ‘cause I'm excited I've never been so excited, well, except for the time that I went GASP but I mean really-”“Pinkie Pie!” I interrupted.She turned to me, gave me her big goofy grin, and said, “Oh, hi Omnius! I didn’t see you there!” (Five bits for me!) “Did you come to say goodbye to the people watching us?”My jaw dropped again. Ye Gods and Goddesses, but if she was doing what I think she was doing…“Pinkie Pie,” I said seriously, “You can see the viewers?”“Well of course not silly! I just know they’re there!” She replied, giggling.I couldn’t help it. I threw my arms around her and gave her the biggest pony hug I could give her. “You’re a fourth wall breaker! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!” I said, jumping up and down giddily, with Pinkie still in my forelegs.“You mean you know about them too?” She asked, her voice shaking as I kept shaking her in joy.I blinked, and grinned sheepishly. I set her down, and said, “Yeah! See, I can- Wait…” I thought for a moment, and then said cautiously, “You know what? I need to wait until everypony is here. Then I can tell everypony in one sitting.”Pinkie pointed over my shoulder, and said, “You don’t have to wait! Look over there!”Turning my head, I saw that Twilight Sparkle and the gang were headed our way. I gulped audibly, and Pinkie asked, “Is something wrong?”“No, I guess I just hoped for a little more time,” I sighed. She tilted her head in confusion, and I walked over to meet the others.“Yo,” I said, my voice lacking its usual cheer.“Hey,” Twilight said, before saying, “Is something wrong? Before she left, Princess Celestia asked me to talk to you. She said that there was something you wanted to tell us.”I felt my stomach start twisting into knots, and I chuckled nervously and said, “You could say that.”They all looked at me, and Applejack spoke up, “You sure you’re alright? You’ve been acting awfully strange since you got your memory back.”When she said that, I took a deep breath, and said, “That’s just it A.J. I never lost my memory to begin with.”Everypony present gasped, and I continued, saying, “The lightning bolt didn’t scramble my brain. Although, since I was dumb enough to lie to you girls, maybe it did.”“You lied to us?” Applejack called out angrily.“I did,” I said, hanging my head in shame.Rainbow Dash flew up close, stuck her head into my face, and shouted, “We trusted you!”I backed away, and said, “I didn’t want to lie though!”“Then why did you?” Rainbow yelled.I was silent for a moment, before answering, “Because you wouldn’t believe me if I told you the truth.”“What? What could be so unbelievable that you had to lie to your friends about it?” Rainbow Dash screamed at me, and I cringed.She pushed me with her front hooves, and I fell over and didn’t get up. I simply stayed there on the ground and felt hot tears well up in my eyes. Celestia was wrong. They weren’t gonna want to be my friends after this; they would hate me for lying to them.It got deathly quiet. Everypony stared at me, while I closed my eyes, and waited for the harsh words. Finally, a voice spoke up, and for the umpteenth time that day, it was the last pony I expected.Fluttershy.“Girls, I don’t think we should be mad. I mean, that is, he hasn’t even said why he was pretending to have amnesia,” She said quietly. I opened my eyes and saw that she was standing next to me and smiling softly. She offered me a hoof and I took it. She pulled me up and smiled reassuringly.“No wonder you’re the Element of Kindness,” I said, a ghost of a smile on my face. Before anyone could say anything, I took a leap of faith, and said, “You want to know why I had to lie to you? Well, to put it simply, I’m not from this world, or even this universe. I’m one of three beings that Travel throughout Time, Space, Matter, and across all of the Realities and Dreams.”When I said it, the others just gawked at me.“You have GOT to be kidding me!” Rainbow Dash said, looking at me incredulously.“You have no idea how many times that’s been said to me,” I chuckled grimly. “But it’s the truth. I’m the Eternal Traveler of Good, destined, fated, and doomed to Travel across all of Time, Space, Matter, and the Realities, for all of eternity and beyond, for the side of Good.”“Do you really expect us to believe that?” She spat out, glaring at me. She started to charge at me, but Applejack stopped her with a restraining hoof.“He’s telling the truth,” She said, her eyes widening. “I don’t know how I know this, but he’s telling the truth.”“What?”I nodded, and said, “I could show you my true form if it would help convince you that I’m telling the truth.”“That’s not even your real body?” Twilight asked.“It is, but…well, it’s kind of hard to explain,” I said, trying to think. When I couldn’t come up with the words, I shrugged, and said, “It’s probably easier to just show you.”All six of the ponies watched me as I closed my eyes and made the shift back into human form.I felt the stinging sensation fade, and all of the ponies gasped as I stood up and smoothed out the wrinkles in my clothes.“That’s your true form?” Rarity asked, a look of slight wonder on her face.“Yep,” I said simply, stuffing my hands inside of my pockets.“What are you?” I winced at the simple question Fluttershy had asked me. Most commonly asked question number three had entered the area!“I’m a Human. I take it you’ve never seen one before? No, wait, don’t answer that,” I said, remembering something I had forgotten to mention. “Look, this might seem strange, but if you forget what my true form is called later, tell me please.”“Why would we forget?” Twilight poked at my leg with her hoof.“Because there’s a certain enchantment that adjusts anyone’s memories of me to fit into whatever story I’m in,” I said. At their confused faces, I explained with a bit more detail. “For example, say that you had never seen a human before me. Well, if another human were to somehow make their way here, you would forget everything about me being a human, and those memories of me in human form would be replaced temporarily. Heck, even I would forget that I’d shown you my human form.”“What do you mean, ‘Story’?”“That’s just what I call it when I’m in a certain timeline, where certain events will take place. I’m sort of here to observe, and then help out in any way I can.”“Oh…I guess that makes sense…” Fluttershy said, looking confused.“So, onto the dreaded question I have to ask: How do I look?”“You have zits.” Rainbow Dash said, pointing at my face. I groaned, remembering what Princess Celestia had said.“Why does everyone always have to point that out?” I complained. “Is it really that bad?”“To be honest, it actually isn’t,” Rarity said politely. “But I must admit that it is quite surprising to see them on another creature, other than ponies.”We were all silent as they watched me curiously. When I finally couldn’t stand the silence any longer, I cried out, “Look, I might have lied to you, and you have every right to hate me, but I wasn’t lying when I said that you are all my friends!”“Hate you?” Pinkie Pie asked, tilting her head. “Why would we hate you?”“I lied about my amnesia! Heck, I lied about being a pony!”“So?” She replied, bouncing up to me. “You’re still you, right? Then that just means that now we can learn more about each other! Ooh, we can play Truth or Dare! I’ll go first!”“Maybe later Pinkie Pie,” Twilight promised, getting her to be quiet. She then turned her gaze at me, and said, “But she has a point. Sure, we might be mad at you, but that doesn’t mean we hate you. Besides, after seeing this and listening to what you said, I can see why you did what you did. I might have done the same thing if I were in your place.”“Really? So you believe me?” I inquired hopefully.“As strange as it may seem, yes. I believe you,” Twilight said, gazing at me thoughtfully. “I don’t know why, but I do.”“Ooh! Maybe it has something to do with the Element he’s got!” Pinkie Pie chirped in, pointing at my necklace. I grabbed it, and thought about what she said.“She might have a point. Maybe all of the Elements are connected somehow,” I said, thinking out loud. “This definitely calls for some research!”“Wait, what Element is it?” Applejack asked.“Oh, well, according to the Princesses, it’s the Element of Hope,” I said, tucking the necklace into my shirt. “Hey, where are your guys’ Elements?” I asked, finally noticing that they weren’t wearing their respective Elements.“Oh, we hid them away for safekeeping,” Rainbow shrugged. “It was what Celestia said we should do.”“Then why didn’t she ask me to hide mine?” I wondered, scratching my beard.“Wait, we’re getting off topic!” Twilight said, shaking her head. “So you’ve been to other worlds?”“Yep. And other universes, timelines, dimensions, paradoxes, you know, those kind of things,” I counted each place off on my fingers. I then shivered, and said, “Okay, you mind if I go back into pony form? I feel like something is watching us.”“Only if you want to,” Fluttershy said quietly. I could sense her discomfort, and I focused on returning to pony form.“This might take a second folks. Just gimme a mome- There we go!” I said, feeling the stinging sensation.I sighed in relief once the feeling was gone, and I stretched out my hooves.“So how can you change your shape like that?” Applejack asked, glad that I was back to being only slightly taller than the rest of them.“Remember what I said about the Story? Well, if I’m some sort of alien that will get too much attention, then that might mess things up too badly. So, with some help from the magic of the world I’m entering, I can transform into the shape of the heroes of the story,” I explained. I then started to scratch my back, feeling an itch on a spot that I couldn’t reach.“So, let me see if I got this right: You’re an alien who can travel to other worlds,” Applejack stated simply.“You forgot that it’s Travel, capital T, and that I can learn anything.”“What’s that now?”I sighed, and said, “Look, I’m pretty sure that the viewers are getting kinda tired of this long, boring chapter, so how about I explain it off screen?”“What the hay? I thought only Pinkie Pie did things like that!” She exclaimed, and everypony looked at Pinkie.Her eyes widened, and she said, “Ooooooh, THAT’S what you meant!”“Yep. Now then, how about we go to the library? I’ll explain as much as I can over there.”All of the ponies present agreed, and we headed back while I told them a condensed version of my Eternal life story. Truthfully though, my heart was flying high. Not only did they forgive me for lying to them, they had also accepted who I was. I hadn’t had to resort to anything drastic, and they weren’t asking me any awkward questions yet.Emphasis on “Yet.”And with that, my adventure on Equestria officially started.

Two Tickets to Paradise

Chapter 8:

Two Tickets to Paradise

(Takes place during ‘The Ticket Master’)

It had been a few days since I had told the others, Spike included, as much as I could about my Traveling. It had taken a couple of days, not helped by the fact that Pinkie Pie kept asking me to say, “Take me to your leader,” but I had finally managed to tell them the gist of it. They now knew the bare basics of what I do, but I hadn’t told them the full extent of my abilities or what realities/universes I’d been to. I did manage to warn them that I might have to leave at any random time, and there wasn’t any sure-fire way of knowing when I’d be back.

But we would cross that bridge when we got to it.Anyways, since I figured I shouldn’t impose on the Apple family any longer, I decided that I should start building my H.Q for this world. And by H.Q, I mean place-where-I-can-keep-my-stuff-and-sleep, among other things. With the help of Fluttershy, I had picked a spot of land that was just on the outskirts of Ponyville. This way I could be close enough to keep an eye on the ponies, but at the same time there was a small group of trees that would keep everypony from watching me. This way I could use my own special brands of magic to help speed up the building process.“Now let’s see,” I muttered to myself, as I went over mental blueprints. I gazed at the land in front of me, and tried to figure out how I was gonna build my H.Q. The easiest way would be for me to just set up a tarp over a couple of twigs and call it a house, but something told me that I should build something a little more…lasting.I thought about it and then decided to take a small risk. I glanced around, triple checking to make sure that nopony could see me, and then I opened a small Pocket Dimension.Pocket Dimensions, P.D for short, are EXTREMELY useful. Basically, it’s like a mobile warehouse that you can access at any moment, as long as you have the strength to do so. Their holding capacity is virtually unlimited, and you can store anything you need to in there. Now, there are a couple of drawbacks though. For example, you need to have 100% focus when opening one. If you don’t, then all you do is wave your hand, or hoof, or other appendage in the air like an idiot. Next, if you forget to close it, anything can wander into it and steal your stuff. So be careful, or you could let an evil villain get a hold of your unstoppable Doomsday-inator.Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled programming!I reached my hoof into the opening and rummaged through the mess. Falling into old habits, I started talking to myself while I pulled out random tools and materials. “Hammer, nails, wood, more wood, stone, soda- SODA!” I stopped for a moment and chugged a bottle of Coke. “Okay, focus! Where was I? Oh yeah!” I reached into the P.D. and pulled out four large stone pillars. I won’t bore you with everything else I pulled out, since it’s just another set of building materials.I looked over the assembled materials and nodded, satisfied. Checking again to make sure I was completely alone, I shifted into Human form and went to work.“First things first,” I mumbled, and then I summoned my Wizard’s Aura. I felt my body grow physically weaker, while my thoughts sharpened and quickly became clear. My clothes morphed into a set of purple robes, and my beard became thicker and peppered with flecks of gray. My hair grew until it brushed the tips of my shoulders, and I could feel the magic that permeated the area. I grinned as asong started playing in my head.“Misty morning, clouds in the sky. Without warning, a wizard walks by,” I sang, lifting my hand. With a snap of my fingers, I started chanting as the wooden boards set themselves into place on the ground. Another wave of my hand and the hammers lifted and started pounding nails into place. I whistled and looked pointedly at the pillars that were just lying on the ground.“What are you doing, just lazing around there?” I asked them. “Get up! Go get into your places, come on now!” I clapped my hands impatiently. “Move!”The pillars jumped up and quickly floated into position, forming the corners of a square around the construction site. I muttered under my breath and then called out, “You there! Top left corner pillar! You’re off by a couple inches! Move to the left!”The pillar in question rose up off the ground and moved to the left, forming a perfect square. “That’s more like it! You there, hammer number 4! Pick up the pace, you’re falling behind!”It continued on like this for a couple of hours before I finally called out, “Alright, good work everyone! This house was finished in record time!” I opened the P.D again and said, “Tools, you are dismissed!”The tools floated in, suspended by magic, and I closed the P.D and dismissed the aura. With a heavy sigh, I sank to the ground and looked at the fruits of my labors…okay, the tools’ labors, but it was technically my magic.The house was two stories high and solidly built. I had taken a leaf out of the Dwarves’ books and made sure that the lower half of the house was made out of huge slabs of rectangular stone, while the top half was made out of glass, forming a solid dome that could withstand the elements. The door was made of solid oak, and it was one of those doors where you could open the top or bottom half of it.I resolved to check how the inside looked later. Right now, I had to deal with the stone pillars. Focusing on them, I picked myself up off the ground, ignoring my weariness and sudden hunger and walked over to the nearest one.Inscribed on it were all sorts of runes, each one meaning things like protection, shield, fire, water, and space. I touched my palm to it and sent a spark of energy into it that should have activated it, but instead of glowing in a soft aurora of colors, like they normally would, they briefly flashed orange and went dormant.“Oh, you gotta be kidding me,” I complained. “Okay, so you’ll only respond to this world’s brand of magic, right?” I sent another spark, just to be sure, and the runes flashed orange again.“Damn it! But I can’t use this world’s magic, as I’m not a unicorn! I can only turn into an Earth Pony!” I complained. I shifted into Earth Pony form for emphasis. “See?!”As I waited for the stones to respond, I smacked myself on the head. “Crap. It’s bad enough I’m talking to a pillar, now I’m expecting a response. Son of a bitch.”I trotted back and forth and tried to think for a moment. “Okay, think. I can’t use Pony magic, so I need to find somepony who can. Hmm…” I scratched my head and then smiled. “Duh! Just ask Twilight! She should be able to jumpstart it!”I walked to the path and heard my stomach grumble. “Okay, I’ll ask her over lunch. I still have a few bits left over.”With that, I headed into Ponyville, whistling as I walked.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

When I walked into town, I saw something strange. Twilight Sparkle was on the ground covering her ears, while all five of the other ponies were arguing in heated voices about something. Spike was off to the side, trying his best to stay out of it. He spotted me and frantically waved me over.“What’s up Spike?” I asked, picking up two golden tickets that were lying on the ground. “And what’s with the tickets? Do we get to go to Wonka’s chocolate factory?”“No! Twilight got two tickets to go to the Grand Galloping Gala,” Spike explained, pointing at the tickets.“Aw, I was really looking forward to a tour of the chocolate factory,” I said, shaking my head. “But why are they all arguing?”“Twilight only got two tickets and they all want to go!”“Oh, that makes sense,” I said, glancing at the Tickets. “So, this Grand Galloping Gala thing is a pretty big deal then?”Spike said something, but the noise of the argument was too loud for me to hear anything he said.“Hold that thought Spike,” I said, handing him the tickets.I walked over to where the Ponies were yelling, and I roared in my loudest and angriest tone, “QUIIIIIET!”“And then I said, ‘Oatmeal? Are you crazy?’ and-” Pinkie realized everyone had gone silent, and she went, “Oh.”“Ladies, come on now! Is arguing gonna get you anywhere?” I said, while I helped Twilight up.“But-” Rarity started, but Twilight cut her off quickly.“Eh! This is my decision and I'm gonna make it on my own, and I certainly can't think straight with all this noise.” Her stomach started growling, and she added, “Not to mention hunger. Now go on, shoo!”All of the Ponies present started grumbling and walked off, looking grumpy. Spike started to walk off too, and I called out, “Spike, I think you’re fine.”He grinned sheepishly and came back, while Twilight called out to the other ponies, “And don't worry, I'll figure this out...somehow.”She hung her head dejectedly, and I walked up to her and held out the tickets. She looked at me and groaned, “Please don’t tell me you want a ticket too!”“Don’t worry Twi, I’ve already seen the chocolate factory a few times, I don’t need a ticket. Actually, I came into town hoping I could get a bite to eat and ask you something. I take it that you want some food too?”Her stomach growled, and I chuckled. “That settles it. Come on, lunch is on me!”She started to protest, but I simply waved the tickets in front of her and said, “You can tell me all about your problem while we eat!”She finally said, “Fine, but only because you’re buying!”“And because your stomach will eat itself if you don’t get some food,” I teased.“That too.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Alright, let me get this straight. You got two tickets to the biggest party of the year?” I asked as I hoofed through a menu. We were at some restaurant that had a picture of a three-leafed clover as its logo, and I noticed that it was pretty popular since the inside barely had any tables available and we had to sit outside.Twilight set her head down on the table and sighed, saying, “Right.”“And everypony wants to go for their own respective reasons. Applejack wants to raise money for her farm, Rainbow Dash wants to try and get in with the Wonderbolts, Pinkie doesn’t want to miss out on the biggest party of the year, Rarity wants to meet the stallion of her dreams,” (Spike looked pissed when I said that) “and Fluttershy wants to see all the animals.”“Right again.”I took on a thoughtful expression and then asked Spike, “Hey, what do you suggest I get? The Hay Fries look good, but then again, the clover salad somehow appeals to me too…”“Omnius, be serious!” Twilight said pleadingly.“You’re right Twilight, the Hay Fries do go well with ketchup,” I said, folding the menu. “Sorry, my stomach can take temporary control at times. Well, what do you think you should do Twilight?”“I don’t know. Five of my best friends have really good reasons to go to the gala.” She sighed and used her magic to start plucking a flower from the flower jar on the table. “Applejack or Rainbow Dash? Pinkie Pie or Fluttershy – Rarity. Oh who should go with me?” She looked at the petals she had plucked and then licked them all up.“Ew,” I said cheerfully.“Have you made your decision?” A high upper-class French voice asked.The pressure getting to her, Twilight lifted her head up off the table and cried out, “I CAN’T DECIDE!”“Twilight, he just wants to take your order,” Spike said, pointing at the waiter pony who had just spoken.Twilight immediately composed herself and said, “Oh. I would love a daffodil and daisy sandwich.”Spike stole a quick glance at the menu again, before asking, “Do you have any rubies? No? Okay. I'll have the hay fries, extra crispy.” He tossed his menu behind him, much to the displeasure of the waiter.I got up, picked up the fallen menu, and hoofed it to the waiter, saying, “Sorry about that. I’ll have what he’s having.” I handed him my menu, and he nodded, walking away to get our food.“What do you think Spike? Omnius?” Twilight asked as the waiter walked away.“I think we have to try another restaurant. I mean, I like grass just fine, but would it hurt anybody to offer some gemstones?” Spike said, shrugging.“I mean about the Gala, the ticket, and who I should take!” Twilight said irritably.“You know what I call a problem like this?” I asked.Twilight tilted her head and asked, “What?”“Tuesday,” I said, sighing as my stomach growled.“You’ve had to deal with a problem like this before?” Twilight asked hopefully.“Well, admittedly it was between fewer people, but yeah, I have.” I looked towards the restaurant and said, “Ye Gods, I hope they get us our food soon. I’m starving after all that magic use.”“You used magic?” Twilight asked, her confusion evident on her face. “But you’re an Earth pony! You can’t use magic!”“Oh ye of little faith. Have you forgotten my other form?” I asked, mentally debating whether I should eat a flower or not.“You can do magic in human form?” She asked, her curiosity peaked. It looked like she also wanted to get her mind off of her problem, and I was all but happy to oblige her.“Yeah. Oh, hey that reminds me! I need you to do me a favor.” I grabbed a flower and munched on it while I spoke. “See, I have these pillars that are covered with runes, and I need you to help me get the magic inside of them jumpstarted, so I can finish my building.”“What are you building?”“My house.”“Why does your house need pillars that are covered with runes?” She asked.“It’s not my house that needs them, it’s my basement,” I replied, spitting out the stem of the flower.“Okay, why does your BASEMENT need them then?” She asked, rolling her eyes.“Because Wall-Mart was out of Lawn Gnomes,” I said, shrugging.“What’s Wall-Mart? No, wait, we’re getting off topic! How do I choose? And when I do choose, will the other four be mad at me? I mean, I could give up my ticket and give away two, but that would still leave three disappointed ponies.  What if I-”The waiter appeared, right on cue, and said, “Ah, your food.”I licked my lips and stared at the massive pile of fries that were in front of me. Something that struck me as odd was the fact that I hadn’t even thought once about eating meat in pony form. Must have had something to do with the vegetarian style diets of the ponies (although that didn’t explain how they could still use eggs in baking, or milk for…well, milk).“Oh thank you. This looks so good. I'm sure everything will be much clearer once I eat,” Twilight said gratefully. She lifted the sandwich to her mouth and was about to take a huge bite out of it…When a sudden stampede of Ponies ran inside, distracting all of us from our meals. I shrugged and continued pouring ketchup all over my fries.“Em, madam? Monsieur?” I looked up and saw that the waiter pony was standing in the doorway and looking concernedly at us. “Are you going to eat your food in ze rain?”“It’s not raining,” Twilight said, looking around.“What was that Twilight? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of the rain,” I said sarcastically, pushing my wet mane out of my eyes. Strangely enough, it was raining heavily everywhere, except where Twilight and Spike sat. For some reason though, I was the only one at our table getting soaked, along with my food.“What’s going on?” Twilight asked, confused.I looked up into the patch of sky above us that was clear of any rain clouds and said, “I might have an idea. What’s rainbow colored, flies and- wait, that question’s too obvious.”Twilight looked up into the sky, and we both saw Rainbow Dash stick her out her head and call out in an overly cheerful voice, “Hi there best friend forever I've ever ever had!” (What am I, chopped liver?) “Enjoying the sunny weather?”“Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?”“Whaddya mean? I just saw the smartest most generous pony about to get rained on, so I thought I'd kick a hole in the clouds to keep her dry so she could dine in peace, that's all,” She said, way too innocently to be believed.“Well, I’m flattered that you think I’m that pretty Rainbow Dash!” I said in an overly feminine voice, feigning happiness. “But I’m a ‘HE’ not a ‘SHE’, silly! And some of the rain is still getting on me!”“Not you, Twilight!” Dash called out with a hint of anger in her voice.“Rainbow, you're not trying to get extra consideration for the extra ticket by doing me extra special favors, are you?” Twilight asked suspiciously, clearly not believing a word Rainbow said.“Me? No no no, of course not!” Rainbow said in the same tone of innocence as before.“Uh-huh.”“Seriously, I'd do it for any pony!”I made a coughing sound and said, “Hi! Would you mind doing me a favor?”Rainbow Dash giggled nervously, and Twilight said, “Rainbow, I am not comfortable accepting unwanted favors, so I'd appreciate it if you close up that rain cloud right now.”“Ugh, fine,” Rainbow Dash relented, zipping up the hole in the cloud.“That’s better!” She said, right before all of the food was ruined by the rain.“My fries! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Why must the tasty die soggy?!?” I screamed overdramatically, while I put my head on the table and banged my hoof on it.“You done?” Twilight asked grumpily.“…Yeah, I got it out of my system,” I said, looking mournfully at my fries. I looked to the door of the restaurant, where the waiter was still standing, and called out, “I still have to pay for these, don’t I?”“Oui monsieur.”“Figures.” I pulled out my small pouch of bits and placed some on the table. “But you have to come out here and grab them!”He made a small, “Hmph,” of displeasure and retreated inside.Spike barely suppressed a laugh, and I snickered with him. Pardon the pun, but it served him right, making me pay for a ruined meal.“Twilight, it’s raining!” I turned, and saw that Rarity had shown up, wearing an umbrella/saddle thing (Umbr-addle? Saddle-ella?) on her back.“No, really?” Twilight asked sarcastically.“Come with me before you catch a cold!” Rarity said, grabbing Twilight and taking her away.I sat in the rain for a few moments with Spike, before I started saying, “Oh hi Rarity! Nice to see you. What’s that? You’d like to invite me and Spike to the Boutique so we won’t be left soaking in the rain? Why how GENEROUS of you!”I looked at Spike and asked him, “Think we should follow them? Hey, Traveler to Spike! Come in Spike!”Spike shook the hearts out of his eyes and said, “Huh? What?”I face-hoofed and said, “Come on Spike, we just got invited to Rarity’s.”His eyes widened and he took off, running ahead of me.“Geez, mention Rarity to him and he’ll be off faster than me whenever there’s an unguarded Twinkie in the area,” I grumbled, walking after him.

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I opened the door to the Boutique and walked in just in time to see Twilight shake herself dry and accidentally soak Rarity in the process. Partly because I didn’t want to get water all over Rarity’s shop, and partly because I was still a little aggravated at being left in the rain, I shook myself dry and managed to get all of the drops on Rarity too (Karma!).“Uh, heh heh, oops. Sorry,” Twilight apologized, after seeing a soaked Rarity.“Yeah, sorry about that. Thanks for letting us stay here until that storm blows over,” I apologized and thanked at the same time.“Oh no, it's quite alright,” Rarity forced out through a tight smile. “After all, we are... the best of friends, are we not? And you know what the best of friends do?”“Give each other food?” I asked hopefully while my stomach growled.“No…MAKEOVERS!” Rarity said joyfully, her horn glowing as she pulled one of those changing panel/wall things over to where she and Twilight stood.“Suck up senses…tingling,” I whispered to myself as I winced at the sounds of struggle coming from behind the curtain (screw it, I’m calling it that).“There! Oh, you’re simply darling!” Rarity crooned as she removed the curtain, allowing us to see Twilight in a fancy saddle.“Uh, yeah, it is kinda pretty, isn't it?” Twilight said, smiling.“It does look pretty on you,” I said, backing up slowly. I’ve watched Saturday morning cartoons before, I can see where this is going!Spike pretended to gag until Rarity pulled him aside and said, “And you. Oh Spike, I have a dandy little outfit for the dashing gent!”She pulled the curtain around them again, and while Spike tried his best to escape, he fell to the clutches of Rarity’s OCD (Obsessive Clothes Designing) tendencies. When the curtain was removed, I had to stifle a laugh. He was standing in an old, Victorian styled blue shirt and trousers, and Rarity had somehow managed to force a sparkling golden wig on his head.“Now you just need a hat!” Rarity declared, before fitting a miniature black sombrero thing with a feather in it onto the dragon.I laughed once it was fitted onto him, and then Rarity said, “As for you, well we must give you something stylish!” Uh oh.I immediately tried to go the other direction, before the curtain was lifted in front of me and Rarity. I threw myself to the floor, and tried to claw my way out, before I felt myself being dragged backwards.“Help...Me...” I whispered, before I was pulled behind the curtain, and forced into…into…“Gah!” I shouted once I looked at myself. I was in a dark blue tuxedo, with frills around the neck and hooves, and I felt a bowtie being tied around my neck. The tux had golden shoulder pads, and the coat tail was overly long and curly. I felt my glasses being taken off, and then a monocle was forced on me.“Oh, Omnius, don’t you look smashing!” Rarity said, levitating a top hat onto me.I looked at the mirror, and said in a deadpan tone, “I look bloody ridiculous. It’s not the suit though, it’s me. I’m not one for old style suits.”“Ugh, I told you, I don't want any part of this girly gala gunk, see you back at the library!” Spike called out, running away so fast that his clothes were left suspended in the air for several moments.“Spike, WAIT FOR ME!” I called out, running after him. As soon as I ran outside, lightning flashed, and I charged back inside. “On second thought, this suit really brings out my eyes, doesn’t it?”Is it just me, or do I have incredibly bad luck with lightning?Rarity looked displeased, as if she expected me to leave once I had been all gussied up and suited. Hey, wait a second…Rainbow Dash tried to bribe Twilight by kicking a hole in the clouds so she could eat in peace…My finely honed detective skills are telling me that Rarity might be trying to bribe Twilight, but why would she want me out?I then realized something: She didn’t know that I didn’t want the tickets! That would explain why Rainbow got all snappy at me, and why Rarity had tried to make me leave by overdressing me! Alright then, I’ll play along…for now.“Hey, Rarity, do you mind if I go into the other room and take off this suit?” I asked, tugging at the tight collar.“Oh, go right ahead! Just be careful not to rip anything!” She said, looking relieved and using her magic to open a door. She levitated my glasses back to me, and I accepted them gratefully.“Thanks,” I said quickly. I ducked into the other room and heard the door slam shut behind me. I turned and grasped the knob in my hoof. Giving it an experimental twist, I was unsurprised to find that it had been locked. “Oh Rarity, you predictable pony,” I chuckled. I carefully removed the clothes and placed them in a neat little pile by the doorway. Pressing my ear against the keyhole, I attempted to listen to what the unicorns were talking about.“Oh, who needs him anyway? This is all about you and how fabulous you'll look at The Grand Galloping Gala!” Rarity said, oozing flattery.“Wait, the Gala?” Twilight replied, finally catching on to what Rarity was trying to pull.I laughed when I heard that, already knowing that Rarity’s plan had failed. I scratched at my beard and looked around. The room was filled with bundles of fabric and some unfinished dresses. A small window let in some sunlight, and I thought to myself, ‘Huh, guess it’s stopped raining.’ I walked over to the window, opened it, and barely managed to squeeze through, dropping onto the ground outside.“Dammit,” I cursed, shaking off some of the mud I had fallen in.“Howdy Omnius!” Applejack shouted from a cart filled with apple related goodies.“Hey A.J,” I called back, adjusting my glasses. I’m amazed these things haven’t broken yet, what with all the abuse I put them through.“Y’all wouldn’t have happened to have seen Twilight, would you?” She asked innocently.“Yeah, she’s in the Carousal Boutique, getting some sort of dress thing from Rarity. Hey, are any of those pies for sale?” I asked, my stomach roaring at the prospect of food.“Why that no good snake in the grass!” Applejack said, ignoring my question and glaring at the boutique.“Um, yeah, hey, about those pies?”Applejack stormed off and ran to the door of the boutique.I sighed and walked away, hoping my stomach wouldn’t make me do something stupid. I wandered around aimlessly, trying to think of a solution to Twilight’s problem that wouldn’t leave everypony disappointed. I finally shrugged and headed back to my house, hoping that this madness would resolve itself soon.

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I opened the oak door and hit my head on the top half that I had forgotten to open. Swearing, I opened the top half and walked into my new residence.“Huh…not bad,” I commented, looking around. “A little bare, but I’m pretty sure that I can get some furniture later…”I walked around, giving myself the tour. There was a large living room, with a humongous fireplace set into the farthest wall (which was currently soaked from the earlier rainstorm). A couple of nails protruded from the walls, a message from my tools, telling me to hang up some pictures or something. A granite countertop separated the kitchen from the living room, and a few stools were already set up around it. I got confused when I saw the stools, as I didn’t imagine ponies using them, but hey, if that’s what the tools thought, then I may as well go along with it.Checking the cupboards and nearby refrigerator for food (and swearing again when I didn’t find any), it occurred to me that my fridge had turned on without being connected to an electrical grid.“Magic. That’s how it does it. Magic,” I said, not wanting to think too hard about it.I headed out of the kitchen and walked up the stairs (a slightly dangerous process, as I had yet to climb them on four legs), deciding to see what the sleeping arrangements were like.At the sight of the three empty rooms that were bare of any type of furnishings, I slapped a hoof onto my face and said, “Right, I need to get beds. Crap. Note to self: Figure out way to earn bits for furniture…and other things.”I opened the closet in the master bedroom, and a bright smile lit up my face. Sitting in a corner of the closet was my Traveler’s Blade, wrapped in a plain white shroud with only the hilt sticking out of it.I grabbed the shroud in my teeth and gently unwrapped the sword, revealing the shining, white, key shaped blade, still as perfect as the day I first got it. “Man does this bring me back,” I whispered, remembering some of the battles I had won and lost with this blade.My Traveler’s Blade was unique in that it wasn’t just a weapon, but it was a tool that could absorb the powers of other weapons and add it to its own strength, or ‘Base’ as I called it. As I Traveled, the more that I saw, the more that I grew, the more weapons it could add to its repertoire. So far, there were only three weapons that I had decided to use for its bases. The bases also changed the weapon’s appearance, depending on which one was currently being used.The first base was the Keyblade, a weapon that could change form and abilities by adding the symbol of a reality to it, in the form of a keychain. The keychain almost always took on the form of an item that was vital to the story or occasionally the logo of one of my friends. Right now, the keychain attached to it was simple wooden cross attached by rosary beads, giving the weapon raised power in Light and Fire magics, while also raising the strength of the wielder. I dubbed this form, “Excalibrae-Caliburnis.”The second base was the Vampire Killer whip, a reminder of my adventures with the Belmont clan. The whip was legendary in the fact that it could be used against all manner of supernatural creatures and was rumored to have taken down a being of Chaos itself. The fact that it could do that (and the fact that I always felt like a badass whenever I used it), made it a shoe-in for a base weapon.The newest base was also, erm, somewhat unusual.. See, I figured that since I had a base for supernatural purposes, and a weapon that could be used against all enemies, I needed a weapon that could be used against technology; something that could take out all sorts of robots, and be like a sort of “Arsenal of one”…so, I chose to add the Mega Buster as a weapon. It could not only shoot out searing plasma bolts, but it also had a plethora of other weapons added to it as well. The downside? The ammo took a while to ‘reload.’ That is, if I wasted all of its ammo without giving it a cool down, I had to wait 24 hours before I could use that certain weapon.I sighed and thought to myself, “Wow. Out of all the legendary weapons I’ve seen, the only three I’ve added are video game related…Even as The Traveler, I’m still a huge nerd.”Re-wrapping the sword, I carefully placed it back into the closet and felt a moment of grim apprehension shoot through me. If my sword had shown up now, then that meant that there was gonna be some fighting in the near future. If there was gonna be fighting in the future, I might have to show the ponies my darker side, the part of me that found a dark delight in the insanity of battle, the part of me that wanted to go into a berserker rage and tear my enemies limb from limb…Oh Gods and Goddesses…if they saw that…I slammed the closet door and galloped out of the house.I’d cross that bridge when I got to it.

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I ran as fast as my legs could carry me until I stopped in the center of town, out of breath. I looked around and saw Twilight and Spike running away at ludicrous speed from a mob of ponies that were offering…favors? What the hell?“Hey Twilight, what’s goin-” I stopped and strained my ears. “Is that Benny Hill music?”“No time to explain, RUN!” Twilight shouted.“Oh sweet, a chase scene! I can’t remember the last time I was in one of these!” I shouted, running with them. “Let me guess. Pinkie Pie?”“Pinkie Pie,” Spike confirmed, gasping for breath. “Help?”Thinking quickly, I spied an abandoned baby carriage and shoved Spike into it. Grabbing a blanket that was inside of the carriage, I tossed it over Twilight and said, “Quick, act like an old mare!”“How will this do-” Twilight protested, but I quickly shushed her, and she started trotting slowly, pushing the carriage.The mob of ponies ran past and I grinned.“Told ya,” I said smugly.Twilight lowered the makeshift hood and smiled. Unfortunately, one of the ponies, with a pair of carrots for her cutie-mark, turned and yelled, “There she is!”“Gah!” All three of us screamed as we turned tail and fled.Holy shit, I was in a cartoonish chase scene! And I could hear Benny Hill music! BEST. DAY. EVER! I jumped into the water underneath a bridge, while Twilight and Spike clung to the underside of it. The mob of ponies ran over the bridge, and they probably wouldn’t have noticed us if Spike hadn’t slipped and crashed into the water.All three of us started running again, this time into a costume shop, where we took the place of some design mannequins (Pony-quins?). Twilight took the place of a clown, Spike took the place of a hula dancer, and I became Santa Claus.We stood still, as the mob ran by, never noticing us. As soon as they had all passed, we quickly tossed off the costumes (Okay, I kept the beard part of the outfit) and fled into a system of alleyways, trying to lose the horde in the twists and turns. I swear that we had a Scooby Doo moment in those allies, where we’d run out of one alley, then come out from a completely different one, then I was riding on a unicycle, Spike moonwalked, and the mob kept getting separated at random points.On one of the passes, I ran through carrying Ditzy Doo. I glanced at her, and said, “Hey Ditz.”“Hi Omnius.”“You want her ticket?”“Yep.”“Good luck with that.” It was a simple statement, quick and to the point.“Thanks. Do you want her ticket?”“Nah, if I want to go to the Gala, I’ll gatecrash. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to do that, although it would be the first time I wouldn’t be doing it for MI6.”“Who is-”“Long story short, spies. Don’t ask.”With that, I ran into the alley and ran back out, being chased by Lyra and Bon-Bon, who had appropriated Applejack’s apple cart and were using it to move faster than before.After a few more minutes of chaotic running, Twilight, Spike, and I ran into a dead end.“Oh no! Is this the end of Rico!?” I cried out dramatically over the voices of the ticket obsessed mob.“I thought your name was Omnius?” Spike asked, trembling like me and Twilight were.“It is, but I’ve always wanted to say that. I didn’t think I’d say it while being surrounded by crazed ponies though,” I admitted.We all huddled together, bracing ourselves for the sudden rush of ponies, when Twilight’s horn started to glow with the intensity of a police searchlight.With a sudden blinding flash, I felt myself get singed a little while all three of us somehow teleported away from the mob.

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When the light dimmed, we found ourselves safely inside of the library in one piece. Although in mine and Spike’s cases, we were a little crispy.“Warn me next time you're gonna do that,” Spike said, swaying a little, while his eyes rolled.“Who ordered the Country Fried Traveler?” I said, coughing out another little smoke cloud. I shook off the ashes and asked Twilight, “How long have you been able to do that?”“I didn’t even know I COULD do that!” Twilight said, glancing at her horn. “Now quick, LOCK THE DOORS!” She bellowed. “Omnius, watch the windows, and make sure no one knows we’re here!”“On it!” I dashed to the front door after Spike locked it and stealthily peeked out the window. No one outside…I kept staring, knowing that it couldn’t be this easy. Honestly, just when you think it’s safe, something happens to shatter that thought. Case in point, Jurassic Park. Those freaking raptors…ugh.“We’re clear Twilight,” I finally said once Spike and Twilight finished locking all of the doors and turning off all of the lights. They let out a sigh of relief at that, and I added, “There’s nopony outside, we should be completely safe and-”CLICK.The lights suddenly came back on and revealed five innocently smiling ponies.I gulped and said in my best Australian accent, “…Clever girls.”At this point, Twilight finally snapped and she let out an exasperated scream. “I can't decide, I just can't decide. It's important to all of you and I just can't stand to disappoint any of you, and giving me gifts and doing me favors won't make any difference because you're all my friends and I wanna make you all happy and I can't, I just can't!”She covered her head and lay on the ground, trembling with the stress that had been eating at her all day. I felt a brief flash of anger at the sight of that. I finally put my hoof down and added my two bits.“What in the name of all that is good is wrong with you ponies?” I asked, anger leaking into my voice. The five ponies already looked guilty as hell, but I wanted them to realize just what they had done. I pointed at Twilight, and said, “You all are supposed to be her CLOSEST friends, and you’re forcing her to choose which one of you she likes the best! Not only that, but you’ve been letting your obsession with the tickets make you act like jerks!”“Yeah?” Rainbow Dash said accusingly. “Well you’ve been trying to get her extra ticket all day! I mean, you’ve been following her all day!” Some of the other ponies nodded when she said that, and that irked me even more.“Did it occur to you that I didn’t WANT the ticket? That maybe I was trying to spend a day with a friend?” I shot back, barely keeping control of my anger. “Actually, I was gonna get her some lunch and then I was gonna ask her for some help with my house!”She looked stunned when I said that. In fact, all of the ponies looked even guiltier, and before anyone could say anything, I turned and stormed out of the house, calling out to Twilight, “Sorry Twi, but I can’t stand another minute with them! See ya later.”I opened the door and slammed it shut behind me. My vision blurred and I started running through town. Night had fallen, and the streets were dark, barely anypony in sight.As I made my way to my house, I took some time to brood over my thoughts. Was I right to snap at them like that? Sure, they had been a little overenthusiastic, and they hadn’t been being very nice to me about it, but I probably shouldn’t have snapped at them like that. The more that I thought about it, the more I felt like I had done something horrible. By the time I was back at my house, I was completely overcome with worry. Did I accidentally just lose my friends as fast as I had made them?I opened the door to my house and flicked on a couple of lights……and saw a concrete colored Pegasus with a smooth black mane standing in my living room. His eyes were black dots, and his ribs were prominent against his sides. The feathers on his outstretched wings were surprisingly smooth, glossy, and flecked with red. His cutie-mark was…I can’t even remember. It seems like every time I looked at it, it would change shape, becoming another symbol of evil. One moment it was a Nazi Swastika, and the next it would be a pentagram.“Omnius, you haven’t been letting your temper get the better of you again, have you?” The Pegasus said in a suave, dark voice, a slight teasing tone in it.“Torrentican,” I snarled, wishing I had had the sense to equip my sword.“Guilty as charged,” He replied, doing a mock bow.“What do you want?”He looked offended and he said in a hurt tone, “Why Sean, you don’t think that I can’t simply drop by and inquire as to your health?”I pawed at the ground, and said, “No. Now get the hell out of my house.”“Alright, alright. But before I go, I wanted to introduce you to a friend that I made a few days ago,” He said, moving to the side and folding his wings.I snorted and said, “Torrentican, you don’t have any friends. Only things that are powerful enough to get your attention.”“True enough. But I digress. Omnius, meet Slendermane. Slendermane, Omnius.”My eyes widened as I beheld an incredibly tall, rail thin pony with tendrils of darkness flowing about him. He was clad in a suit that was a shade of black all its own, and it was adorned with a blood red tie. His skin was a shade of white that reminded me horribly of a bleached skeleton, and he was missing a face.“Well, I’ll leave you two to get acquainted with each other,” Torrentican said, walking into the shadows and disappearing suddenly. I hated it when he did that.I stared at Slendermane, paralyzed by fear. Holy shit, it was one of my worst internet related fears, second only to Tails Doll, in pony form. Beads of sweat started to form and I gulped audibly.The pale pony took a tentative step forward, his head never turning away from me. He didn’t have eyes, yet I could still feel his unending gaze. The tendrils of darkness slowly snaked across the floor, closing the distance between me and the monster. He took another step forward, and the tendrils wrapped themselves around my hooves, giving me no chance to escape.  As he steadily came closer and closer, an idea born of desperation came into my head.I frantically searched my tail, which I had used as an improvised pocket, and pulled out a worn leather pouch. I opened it and counted the bits inside, hoping that I had…YES!“Hey, Slendermane!” I yelled, tossing it the pouch. The being picked up the pouch in a hoof and tilted its head in the multi-universal, ‘What the hell?’ expression.“There’s twenty bits in there! Now leave me alone!” I shouted, hoping that I could confuse it by bringing in an aspect of one of its alter reality selves. If what Torrentican had hinted at was true, then this Slendermane could be considered a God of Evil. And since Gods and Goddesses can sense their alternate reality selves when they’re around me…Slendermane tucked the pouch inside of his suit, and disappeared.I sank to the floor in relief, laughing nervously. Ye Gods and Goddesses of Good, but that was…close, to say the least. I hadn’t ever had to fight Slenderman (or Slendermane for that matter), and I didn’t want to do that anytime soon. I didn’t expect the twenty bits thing to work for long though, and I realized that I needed to get Twilight to start up those pillars A.S.A.P!I don’t know how long I sat there laughing, but eventually I heard a small voice say, “Omnius? Are you alright?”I turned and saw Fluttershy standing in the doorway, a worried look on her face. A pang of guilt shot through me, as I remembered why I had left Twilight’s in the first place. I got up and threw my arms around Fluttershy in a tight embrace. She gave a little ‘Eep’ (D’awwww), but returned the hug, albeit in a careful manner.“Fluttershy, I’m so sorry for how I yelled at you girls. I might have been mad, but that didn’t give me any excuse to snap at you all,” I said quickly, overriding anything that she was about to say. I looked up from my current hugging position and saw the other ponies that were standing a little ways away.I let go of Fluttershy and walked to the others. I apologized to them as well and added, “Do you think you can forgive me?”“Omnius, you should really learn to relax!” Rarity said, smiling. “Besides, we actually were going to apologize to you! We felt horrible for treating you like we did, simply because we wanted a ticket as well.”“Yeah, I shoulda just given you some food. I know how strapped for cash you are,” Applejack said, kicking a pebble.“And I should have thrown you an awesome party like I did for Twilight!” Pinkie added, bouncing up to me.“Wait, I missed out on a Pinkie Party? No, wait, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re all friends, right?”“Right!” Everypony said. I chuckled and then said, “Hey, Twilight, about that favor?”“Oh, right. What did you need me to do?” She asked, glancing at the pillars that were still standing.“I just need you to zap one of ‘em with a bit of magic,” I said, pointing at the closest one. “That one will do.”Twilight nodded and trotted over to the pillar. She scrunched her eyes and asked, “So what do these do?”“Oh, I guess I never did say, huh?” I pointed at the runes and explained the concept. “Basically, these pillars will not only give me an unrivaled home security system, but it’ll also create some…extra space in the basement.”“That’s it?” Rainbow Dash said, flying around the top of a pillar. “That’s kind of lame.”I grinned and said, “Twilight, let ‘er rip.”Twilight’s horn glowed and a beam of energy shot out of it, hitting the pillar dead center. The runes started glowing, each one flashing a different color, before a beam shot from the top of the pillar and connected all four of the pillars together. The ground started shaking violently, and the pillars sank into the ground, leaving no trace of their existence, save for some small patches of dirt.I put a hoof to my ear and said, “Hear that? That is the sound of success.”I walked to the door, bowed, and said, “Howzabout I gives you the two bit tour?”

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After I showed them the house, I stopped in front of a door that hadn’t been there before. It was made entirely out of iron, and it had a picture of my insignia carved into it.“What’s in there?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking for a doorknob. She was out of luck though, since there wasn’t even a doorknob on it. In fact, aside from the insignia, it was completely smooth, and it didn’t even have any hinges to attach it to the wall.“If I’m right, that’s the door to my basement,” I said, already heading outside.“Ooooooh, what’s in your basement?” Pinkie asked, now looking at the door as well.“My Vault,” I simply said, my tone telling them to stop asking questions.“What’s in the Vault?” Twilight asked curiously.“Nothing,” I answered automatically.“Really?”“Yep.”“Well then, I guess you wouldn’t mind if we took a look then!” Pinkie Pie said cheerfully, pulling a crowbar from out of nowhere, and prying it into the door.“That’s not gonna work,” I said, smirking. “Honestly, that’s a high tech Custom Built job, impervious to any kind of lock-pick, welding torch, and every kind of burglary tool invent-”“Got it!” Pinkie sang, as the door whooshed open.My jaw dropped, as I stared at the door. “How did you do that?”“I used a crowbar!” She replied, as if it were obvious.I wiped the stunned look off my face and shot her a glare. “Okay, but I’m serious! DON’T. GO. IN THERE!” I said, emphasizing the last words. “I promise I’ll show you tomorrow, but right now you can’t go in there.”“Can you at least tell us what’s in there?” Applejack asked, fixing her hat.I thought for a moment and tried to choose my words carefully. After a few minutes of silence, I finally said, “Memories and a place where I can learn to control myself.”Fluttershy tilted her head and asked, “What do you mean?”A memory of a raging beast flashed through my head and I grimaced. I started trembling in fear of the memory, as I remembered the wreckage that the beast had caused and how terrified its enemies had been. Homes had been lost, innocents hurt, and monsters had roamed that day, and…it was all my fault. I felt someone’s foreleg wrap around my neck, heard a voice say something, something that calmed me down.“It’s okay Omnius. We’re here for you,” Fluttershy said gently, bringing me back from the memories.I took a deep breath and said, “Thank you.”She nodded and we all walked outside, the basement door shutting automatically.“Now come on!” Pinkie said, hopping to the road. “We still gotta get some cupcakes!”My stomach growled and I cried out, “Lead the way Pinkster!”

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As we sat around a table at Sugarcube Corner, Twilight said something that made me feel like an even bigger idiot than usual.“Omnius, you can change your form to match whatever world you’re on, right?”I thought about it for a second and then nodded. I hadn’t told them about Torrentican or Slendermane yet, mostly because I didn’t want to worry them.“Well, have you tried to turn into a unicorn, or a Pegasus yet?”My jaw dropped again, and I said wittily, “What?”“Well, it’s just that there are as many Earth ponies as there are Unicorns and Pegasi. So if you just change form to blend in with the population…” She trailed off, letting me put two and two together.“Then I can turn into those too!” I realized. I then shoveled another cupcake into my mouth and started nomming it.“Well shoot, why didn’t I think of that earlier?” Applejack said, slapping a hoof onto the table.I shrugged and kept eating my food silently, thinking of all the possibilities.Pinkie then said, “Oooh, if you can turn into those, then that means that you can do anything a pony can do! You can fly, use magic, and you could do all sorts of super-duper party tricks too!”“But why was Torrentican a Pegasus then? I’d picture him as more of a Unicorn…” I mumbled under my breath, my appetite disappearing.“What was that dear?” Rarity asked.“Nothing, nothing. Think I should try turning into a Unicorn?” I asked, changing the topic at ludicrous speed.“Sure! Mr. and Mrs. Cake are already asleep, so you should be fine.” Pinkie said, an actual serious look on her face.Focusing, I quickly shifted back into human form. Before I could change my mind, I brought up the focus necessary to change forms, only this time I focused on picturing myself as a Unicorn. It wasn’t really that hard, all I had to do was imagine a unicorn’s horn on my head and voila.I felt the transformation process end, and I opened my eyes. At the sight of the ponies’ shocked faces, I asked, “Did it work?”“I’d say it did,” Applejack said, clearing her throat.I looked into the reflective surface of one of the display cases and saw a horn that was set above my glasses, colored the same shade as my coat. Aside from looking unnaturally pointy, it seemed like any other average unicorn horn.“Can you use any magic?” Twilight asked, after I gingerly touched the point of my horn. “All unicorns can use basic levitation techniques, but do you think that you can?”“Let’s find out.”Looking at one of the empty plates, I concentrated on it, and attempted to lift it into the air. I squeezed my eyes shut, and called up my old lessons I’d been taught about magic. I cleared my mind, focused on what I wanted, and did my best to believe that it would work. For a long moment, nothing happened.“I guess that I don’t know how to use magic in this form,” I said wistfully, looking at the plate. I sighed, and broke my current line of thought……And with a muffled THUMP sound, Sugarcube Corner fell back onto the ground. The plates rattled, I did my best Fluttershy impression and said, “Eep!”“I think it’s safe to say that you can use magic,” Twilight said, her voice cracking a little.“You just need to work on your aim,” Applejack added.“…Twilight, any chance I could get some magic lessons?” I asked, gulping.“I think that would be a good idea.”

The Vault and Cupcakes

Chapter 9:

The Vault and Cupcakes

(Part one takes place one day after ‘The Ticket Master’ and Part two takes place ?????)

Part One: The Vault and You!

“Omnius…” A voice called out. I grumbled and absently waved the voice away, not wanting to wake up yet. If you’ve seen my face, then you definitely know that I NEED my beauty sleep (okay, maybe not, but still).“Omnius…” The voice repeated, a bit louder than before.“I don’t wanna get up…” I whined, rolling over. As I slowly felt myself wake up, I dimly recalled that I was supposed to be doing something today…but what?I opened my eyes and rubbed them with my hoof. Blinking, I stood up, stretching out like a cat, sighing with relief as the bones in my back made popping sounds. Squinting, I could just barely make out some multi-colored blurs that were standing at the entrance to the room I was sleeping in. Fumbling for my glasses, I called out, “Morning.”Slipping the glasses onto my face, the blurs came into focus, revealing them to be my friends, all of them standing just outside the bedroom. I shook out my mane and glanced around the barren room. Seeing nothing of interest, I scratched at my beard and asked, “Now what brings you gals here this fine day?”“You were gonna show us your basement, remember?” Twilight reminded me, before she levitated a bottle of Coca-Cola to me. “I found this on in your counter, and thought that you might need something to perk you up.”I squeed in delight, and without even thinking about it, I used magic to levitate it to my mouth, where I proceeded to chug it. Once the bottle was halfway drained, I lowered it from my mouth and let out a small belch.“’Scuse me,” I apologized, grinning sheepishly. I then realized the Twilight was grinning smugly at me and I asked, somewhat defensively, “What?”“You’re using magic,” She said, pointing at the bottle that was still floating next to my head.I looked and saw that a white glow had encompassed the bottle. As soon as I looked at it however, the magic disappeared. The bottle fell to the ground and would have spilled its precious contents everywhere if I hadn’t grabbed the bottle with my teeth. Sighing in relief, I quickly upturned the bottle and drained it while the other ponies giggled.“I take it that was my first magic lesson?” I asked, tossing the bottle over my shoulder. Note to self: get a trash can.“Indeed. I wanted to confirm if you could use magic instinctively or if it had to be a premeditated thought process,” Twilight said, nodding her head.“What does that have to do with my magic lessons?”“Who cares?” Rainbow Dash said impatiently, “I want to see that vault of yours!”I rubbed my face with my hoof again and sighed. “I did promise to show you that, didn’t I?”I walked out of the room and went to the door that sat just under my stairs. It looked exactly like it did before, plain steel with nothing but my insignia on it. Clearing my thoughts, I shifted back into human form and placed my hand on the door. The insignia glowed and the door slid open, fog billowing out into the room.“Still want to see the Vault?” I asked, giving them all one last chance to go if they wanted to. “Once you walk in here, you’ll see things. I’ll do my best to protect you from the things you’re not ready to see yet, but I can’t be sure that you won’t see certain, um, things…” I trailed off, letting them gain their own ideas as to what might happen (and wishing for a thesaurus).“Omnius, we’re not gonna get scared off that easily,” Rainbow Dash huffed.All of the other ponies nodded in agreement and I shrugged. “Alright then. Mares, if you would please head down the stairs.”All seven of us walked down the long, winding staircase, the only light coming from the small torches that hung on the wall. As we descended, the air became cooler and the light from the entrance steadily dimmed, soon disappearing from our sight entirely.“How much farther is it?” Rarity asked, her voice echoing.“Not too far,” I replied. “In fact, can you see that white square up ahead?”The ponies gazed to where I was pointing, and Pinkie Pie said, “You mean that itty-bitty teeny-tiny thing?”“Yes Pinkie. The itty-bitty, I mean, the small square.”

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After a few moments, we had reached the white square, only it was a lot bigger than everypony was expecting. The doors themselves were double the size of normal barn doors (in other words, friggin’ huge). Carved out onto the door was, once again, my logo, and surrounding it were runes that would sometimes flare out suddenly, taking everypony off guard, and then before they could be closely examined, faded again, leaving no trace of their existence.I stepped forward, and called out in a loud, clear voice, “I am the Eternal Traveler of Good. May the stars in the skies watch over all, may the sun give us light, and may the moon give us beauty and mystery.”The runes on the door moved about violently, before grouping together to form the resemblance of a long face that had a thick, wizardly beard that would have made Gandalf jealous. Opening its eyes, the face asked in a deep, echoing voice, “What is the average flight speed of an unladen, European swallow?”“Twenty-five miles per hour,” I answered immediately.“Close enough. How old are you?” The Face asked.“I dunno. I lost count a while ago,” I shrugged.“I will accept this answer. Final question: Do you see your end in sight?”I thought about it for a moment, choosing my words carefully. Speaking slowly and clearly, I stated, “Only if I turn my head and stare at my butt.”The face nodded, the runes dispersed, and the face fell apart. With a loud CRACK, the doors slowly slid open, the sudden light temporarily blinding all of us.“What was with the questions?” Rainbow Dash asked.“I put them up to make sure that the doors would only open for me. The questions are always random, and they determine if it’s really me or not,” I explained. “It also makes sure that I’m in my right mind when I come here.”Once the lights dimmed, I turned to the mares, and gave them my best showman’s bow.“Mares, I give you…The Vault!” I gestured towards the now open doors and the ponies gasped.No matter how many times I’ve shown people The Vault, that reaction never gets old.With cautious, unbelieving steps, the ponies stepped into The Vault, awed by how massive it was. To say that it was huge was an understatement. The room was maybe twice the size of a Costco building and was a startling white color throughout all of it, a sharp contrast to the bleak cavern-like walls that lead to it. Scattered throughout the room were various pedestals, each with a different item on it. The items varied widely, from simple looking books, to pieces of technology so advanced that even The Doctor would have trouble puzzling them out. There were various buildings scattered around as well, even a small farm.“Omnius, how did you get all of this in here without anypony noticing?” Twilight asked, her eyes trying to take in everything.“Remember those ‘Lame Pillars’ you zapped for me?” I asked, walking to a nearby pedestal. I picked up the black leather book that sat on it, and absentmindedly flipped through its pages.“I know you said ‘extra space’, but don’t you reckon that this is a mite ridiculous?” Applejack asked.I shrugged, and kept flipping through the book. I stopped when I found an article about Polyjuice Potion, and started chuckling. “Boy, does this take me back.”Pinkie Pie read the title and asked, “Moste Pontente Potions?”I put the book back in its place, and replied, “It’s a book about some controversial potions and how to make them. I’m actually pretty decent at making some of them, but now’s not the time to show off.”At the look of longing on Twilight’s face, I quickly added, “Besides, the results are catastrophic if they’re messed up. You could end up in some serious agony and suffer greatly if you mess up on even one little detail.” I shook my head sadly, and said, “Some of the effects brought about by those mistakes are irreversible.”Twilight’s face fell and she looked so depressed that I was tempted to give her the book then and there. But I took solace in the fact that most of the ingredients needed could only be found in the world the book came from or my Vault. I wasn’t about to tell the obsessed bookworm that though.“Why do you call this place The Vault?” Fluttershy finally asked, looking at a strange egg that was white with green spots.“This is basically the place where I put all the memorabilia I’ve collected over my Travels,” I said, gesturing at the room and all of the items inside of it. “Quick word of advice though: Don’t touch anything.”I shot a glare at Twilight, who had been edging herself towards a red book that was covered with black spidery runes. She grinned sheepishly and shied away from it.“Well, if I say you can touch it, then go ahead,” I added, not wanting to sound like an obsessed comic book collector. “Right, now follow me please. It’s incredible easy to get lost in here if you don’t have a map.”“Which you do?” Rarity asked, peeling her eyes away from a blood red stone that glowed eerily with a life of its own.“Yeah, in here,” I said, tapping my head. “I may not remember all of what’s in each section, but I remember where each section is.”“Sections?”“Yeah, I’m only gonna show you three sections today,” I explained, heading towards a vast maze of bookshelves. “Books, animals, and chaos.”“Why those three?” Applejack asked, tilting her head.“Because those three are the ones that I think will both A) interest you, and B) make sure that nothing bad happens. I wasn’t kidding when I said that there is some dangerous crap in here.”We reached the bookshelves and I said, “This is the section of the Vault where I keep most of the books I find. It’s organized by content, just like other libraries, only instead of fiction and non-fiction, it’s organized by topic, and what world the book came from.”I snapped my fingers, and a wide, flat silver screen floated in front of us. It flashed and a picture of a pixilated smiley face appeared. I tapped it, and said, “Mares, say hello to Ivy, the archive of the library. Ivy, do me a favor and add Twilight Sparkle, unicorn, Pinkie Pie, earth pony, Fluttershy, pegasus, Rainbow Dash, pegasus, Applejack, earth pony, and Rarity, unicorn, to the list of beings allowed to access the library.” Thinking for a moment, I whispered quietly, so that the others wouldn’t hear, “Also add Ditzy Doo, pegasus and The Doctor, earth pony/unknown alien, as well.”The screen flickered and then flashed in a sky blue color. A neutral female voice said, “Added to access. Apply the usual restrictions?”“Yes please, Ivy.”“Restrictions applied. Welcome to the Timeless Library,” Ivy said, before the screen disappeared, leaving the ponies to gape at it.“What was that?” Pinkie asked. “And why did she leave before we could say hi?”“That was Ivy. She’s a spirit/program (long story) of intellect that lives here and makes sure that the books are properly organized. She’s just one of the many beings that help me keep the Vault up and running,” I said, opening a book that then attempted to eat my hand.“Gah! Get it off me, GET IT OFF ME!” I screamed, shaking it in a startled panic. The book was suddenly encompassed in a purple glow, and Twilight managed to magically pry the book off of me, leaving a series of small puncture wounds on my hand.“I’ve never seen any book like that!” Twilight exclaimed, looking at the book with a scientist’s interest, while the book snarled and growled uselessly.“Yeah, The Monster Book of Monsters. Some book huh?” I said, stroking the vicious book’s spine. The book shuddered and stopped squirming, becoming calm once again. “’Yer got to stroke ‘em’ he says. ‘Perfectly harmless’ he says! Bah!” I said, imitating a gruff voice. I placed the book back in its place on the shelf and picked up a slightly less dangerous one.I led the ponies around the library, showing them my immense collection of books. Twilight was, unsurprisingly, the most talkative of the bunch, asking questions on what books were about what, who wrote what, and all sorts of questions like that. I finally had to promise her that I would loan her some of the books later, just to give my ears a break.“Really!? I can borrow some of these?” Twilight looked like I had just given her the worlds’ greatest present.“Sure. Just remind me once we’re done with the tour. For now, we need to head to the next section: Animals!”I heard Fluttershy gasp, and she grabbed my arm, trying to get me to move faster.

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“This here is what I like to call The Stable,” I said, gesturing towards a mixed set of pens, each one containing a ghostly apparition of a different animal.Fluttershy squeed in delight (So, much, D’AAAAWW) and started flitting around, looking eagerly at all of the animals, before she frowned and tried to touch one. Her eyes widened as her hoof passed through the face of a small dodo bird and I chuckled.“Fluttershy, I don’t spend that much time here. It wouldn’t be right for me to keep any animals down here by themselves. So I had Slim program a system of magic holograms to simulate animals that I’ve encountered. Some of them I can summon here, if you’d like.”“Yes, please!” Fluttershy said gleefully.Twilight held up a hoof and said, “Wait, who’s Slim?”I smacked my face and said, “Oh, I didn’t show you him yet!” I cupped my hands around my mouth and hollered, “HEY SLIM! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!”With a whir of gears and the sound of clanking metal, a robot ran out from behind one of the bird cages and stood in front of me. If you can picture C3P-0, but with thinner arms, legs that can actually move around, and a faceless head with a worn cowboy hat, then you already have a pretty good idea of what Slim looks like.“This is Slim, or more specifically, Creature Maintenance Droid #1113. But that’s kind of a mouthful, so I shortened it to Slim,” I said, placing my arm around his shoulders. “He was originally built as a robot cowpoke on a radioactive dude ranch, but when a bull decided he was the wrong shade of rust red…well you get the idea.” I opened his chest plate and took a quick peek inside. “I found him on a scrap heap and, with the help of The Lone Wanderer, managed to get him up and running again. Now he tends to the animals, making sure that any live ones are fed and the simulated ones are programmed right.”“That’s mighty strange,” Applejack commented, looking at Slim. “Does he talk at all?”“Nah, he prefers to let his actions do the talking,” I said, patting him on the back. “But don’t let that fool you. He’s got emotions of his own. For example, I think he fancies Ivy.”Slim punched my shoulder and all of the ponies laughed. I grinned and said, “Hey now, don’t make me kick your shiny metal ass!”I wrapped an arm around his neck, put him in a headlock, and started rubbing his head in a noogie. Slim simply grabbed my back and slammed me into the ground, where he then proceeded to hogtie me with the lasso he always kept at his side. I got a hand free and managed to pull him to the ground, where it just became a tangle of limbs and gears, both of us wrestling each other.Finally, I managed to pin Slim to the ground, where I shouted, “Ha! I win! That makes it five to three now!”I got up, panting, and slapped Slim good-naturedly on the back. “Better luck next time Slim.”Slim got up, dusted off his legs, and tipped his hat. The ponies laughed again and I said, “Now then, I believe I was gonna show you a cute li’l animal, right Fluttershy?”She nodded shyly and said, “Oh yes, I mean, that is if you want to…”I grinned and started rubbing my hands together. “Oh, I’ve got the perfect animal for you Fluttershy. He’s small, cute, and is one of the most lovable creatures I’ve ever seen.”Slim tapped my shoulder and shrugged his shoulders in a questioning manner. I nodded and said, “Yeah, you better go grab some of those eggs. We don’t want that bird getting angry.”Slim jogged off towards a chicken coop and came back with a nest that had three eggs sitting in it. He gingerly set it down on the ground, as if he was dealing with a live bomb, and backed away from it. I crouched on my knees and placed a hand on one of the eggs. Pouring some magic into it, I said in a slightly echoing voice, “Hey Red? Can you hear me? I have some friends here who want to meet you.”The egg started glowing and fog started to swirl around it, forming a cloud that none of us could see through. It was a little disconcerting to see my hand, and at least half of my arm, disappear in the cloud, but I kept up the flow of magic. “Red! Come forth!”With a small “Caw!” of happiness, a small, feathered red orb flew out of the fog and tackled me to the ground. Laughing, I gave the bird a hug and sat up. The bird hopped onto my shoulder and pecked me on the side of the head. It hurt a little, seeing as how he was the size of my head, but I laughed anyways, knowing that he was just excited to see me again.“Hey Red, good to see you!” I stood up and turned to the ponies. “Mares, meet Red. He’s an exceptionally rare species of bird, whose name I can’t remember.”The ponies and Red stared at each other and Red cawed. He hopped from my shoulder to Fluttershy’s back and she instantly started fawning over the small bird. Red returned the sentiment, grooming her wings with his small beak.“Are there others like him?” Twilight asked, looking at the bird with interest.“Not exactly like him, but yeah, there are others. I’d think there are about seven others, eight if you include the Mighty Eagle,” I replied, smiling at the adoration Red was showing Fluttershy. “It’s weird. Normally Red doesn’t warm up to others that easily, especially when his eggs are nearby.”At the word, “eggs,” Red’s eyes widened. He hopped off of Fluttershy and started fussing over the eggs that were on the ground. He crooned as he rearranged some of the twigs in the nest and made sure that the eggs were as comfortable as possible.He shot a look at me and I said, “Don’t worry; I’ve been taking good care of them. Slim set them up in an incubator so they wouldn’t freeze, and he’s made sure that their nest is perfectly comfortable.”Red nodded, satisfied, and he resumed tending to the nest. Rainbow Dash flew close to the eggs and asked, “Why is he so obsessed with these eggs?”She reached out a hoof to touch one of them and I shouted, “Rainbow, NO!”Too late. She tapped one of the eggs and it tipped over. Red gasped and started to tremble with rage. I backed away slowly and said, “Rainbow…whatever you do, do NOT make any sudden movements.”Red’s eyes started to glow an ominous red and black clouds billowed around him. He looked PISSED. The bird tensed, ready to throw himself at R.D, when Fluttershy suddenly picked him up. Red blinked and looked around, his concentration lost and his anger forgotten. Fluttershy smiled gently and started whispering to the bird.“Well I’ll be…” I said, scratching my head in wonder. “She calmed down Red! I haven’t been able to do that since, well, ever!”“Fluttershy does have her way with critters,” Applejack said, nodding.I don’t think there’s a word to describe how cute Fluttershy looked with Red. No, seriously. Even Shakespeare couldn’t describe how cute it was. You’d need to create an entirely new word to describe the cuteness. Fluttershy gently set the egg where it was supposed to go and Red cawed in delight. He did a little hopping dance around the egg and I smiled.After a few more minutes of everypony fawning over Red, I spoke up and said, “Alright Red, I think it’s time for you to go home.”The bird nodded, somewhat saddened, and I added, “But I think we’ll be seeing you again. Tell the others I said hi! And tell the Mighty Eagle ‘Caw-Cawcaw, Krackow!’”Fluttershy giggled, earning a questioning look from the others.“What did he say?” Rarity whispered to the animal loving Pegasus.“It’s nothing, really girls,” She said, smiling. She winked at me and I grinned.Placing my hand on the bird, I whispered words of magic and returned him to his home. I stood up, cracked my back, and said, “Alright, last but not least: Chaos!”“Are quite certain that a section called ‘Chaos’ is safe for us to see?” Rarity asked nervously.“Oh yeah, it’s perfectly harmless! Just make sure that you don’t touch anything.”I glared at Pinkie Pie. She shrugged innocently and said, “What? I’m not gonna touch anything!”I put two fingers to my eyes and then pointed at her.She then put a hoof to her eye and then pointed at me, then pointed at the ground. She also pointed at her hair, and at a bunch of random places.I sighed and led the ponies to the craziest place in The Vault.

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As we walked, Twilight sped up, walking next to me and she asked, “Omnius?”“Yeah?”“Yesterday you said that this place was somewhere you could learn to control yourself. What exactly did you mean by that?”I remained silent, as I tried to think of an answer.“Omnius, what aren’t you telling us?”Thinking for a moment, I asked suddenly, “Twilight, have you ever lost control of your magic?”She looked surprised at that for a moment, before she answered, “Once. It was when I was trying to get enrolled at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. Why?”I hung my head and said, “You’re probably the strongest unicorn, magically speaking, right?” Before she could answer, I continued, saying, “Then you know how dangerous it is to lose control of yourself. Everything you love gets hurt, and you aren’t able to do anything about it.”Twilight gulped and nodded. “But what does this have to do with…Oh my gosh…Omnius…?”“Yeah,” I said simply. “I lost control. A lot of people got hurt. I don’t wanna talk about it right now…it’s another story for another day. Right now, let’s just get on with the tour, eh?”Forcing a smile onto my face, I led them to the Chaos section.

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“Welcome to the place where physics has no real hold over anything!” I said proudly, gesturing at all of the seemingly random pedestals that surrounded us. “Everything you see here can successfully bend the fabric of reality, allowing the user to do normally impossible things!”Pinkie looked at a dull, green, wooden mask with a look of curiosity on her face. She reached out with one hoof and picked it up. Putting it over her face, she asked, “What’s this mask thingie?” She giggled and added, “It doesn’t look like it’s bad!”My eyes widened in panic, and I yelled at the top of my lungs, “DON’T PUT THAT MASK ON! Oh Gods and Goddesses, TWILIGHT LOCK THE DOOR!”The mask suddenly started to pull itself over Pinkie’s entire head, and she started spinning in a green and pink tornado, while the air crackled with electricity. Twilight stayed where she was, staring in awe at what was happening.“Too late!” I shouted again, snapping her out of it.“What’s happening?” Twilight screamed over the sound of the tornado.As if those were the magic words, Pinkie Pie stopped spinning. Her entire head was a lime green color, and she had a magenta top coat on, with a purple and pink polka dotted tie. She wore a wide brimmed hat that matched her top coat and was accented by a huge peacock feather.“Pinkie?” Fluttershy asked, fear evident in her voice.“That’s not Pinkie,” I said, cracking my knuckles.The Masked Pony grinned, her teeth larger than normal and said, “Ssssssssssssomepony STOP ME!”“Mares, I give you: The Mask,” I said grimly, putting myself between The Mask and the door, wanting to stop her before she could get out.The Mask grinned and went into tornado mode, spinning wildly, before she stopped right behind me, grabbed my underwear, and yelled, “WEDGIE!”I was blinded by my own undergarment, and I had to fight the urge to cuss. Stumbling, I randomly reached out, grabbed The Mask by the coat, and felt myself get pulled along with her. My underwear snapped off of my head and returned to its normal…position, and I could suddenly see again.“Kid! It’s good to see you!” The Mask said, stopping once she realized I was still hanging onto her. She screeched to a halt, making me fly forward from the momentum, and she grabbed me before I could slam into a wall.“You too Mask,” I groaned, struggling to keep the contents of my stomach from flying out.“But why the heck aren’t you wearing me? That was part of the dealio wasn’t it?” The Mask continued, scratching his/her head.“Friend of mine wore you without asking. She’s almost as crazy as you are. If this keeps up, she’ll probably break the forever,” I gasped out, since The Mask was giving me a bone-crushing hug.“Ooooooh. I guess I should probably get off of her then, hm?” The Mask said, contemplatively.“That would be a good idea.” Holy crap, was I making The Mask see reason?“Then again…” She reached into a pocket and pulled out an enormous hammer. Smiling crazily, she said, “We might have to hammer out a few details on that face of yours!”I knew it was too good to be true.Taking advantage of the Mask’s distraction, I grasped the back of Pinkie’s head and started tugging off The Mask.“Hey, come on! I was only joking!” The Mask laughed, right before it peeled off of Pinkie, becoming an unassuming wooden mask again. The suit disappeared and I felt myself get dropped onto the floor.I sighed in relief and looked at Pinkie. She sat there, her eyes spinning, and I asked her, “Hey? You okay there Pinkster?”She shook her head and laughed. “I feel fine silly! That was really weird though, it was like I was on a super-duper-uber sugar rush, and I felt like pranking everypony, and dancing, and singing, and-”“I know Pinkie,” I interrupted. “But I thought I told you not to touch anything!”She winced and looked at the floor. “Sorry,” She mumbled.I sighed and said, “It’s fine Pinkie. No one got hurt, minus an extreme atomic wedgie, and you didn’t make it outside. If that Mask got out there…You might have broken the forever.”“What?”“Nothing, just a joke me and some old friends used to make.” I picked myself up and winced as I moved my ribs.Pinkie looked worried at this, and she asked, “Oh no, I didn’t hurt you, did I?”“No, it’s just a couple of bruises,” I said, putting on a fake grin. Truth be told, it felt like a couple of ribs had cracked, but I didn’t want Pinkie to worry about it.We walked back to the group, where they instantly assaulted me with questions.“Are you alright?”“What was that thing?”“What was that thing wearing!?” Leave it to Rarity to ask about fashion.I put the Mask back onto the pedestal and held up a hand for silence. Once they all quieted down, I simply said, “That was The Mask. He’s one of the good guys, but only I can wear him, since he’s a little too ‘Tex Avery’ for anyone else to handle. And by that, I mean he doesn’t give a fik about the laws of physics. If he got loose, bad things might have happened.”I snapped my fingers and said, “That concludes today’s tour of The Vault. If you would please follow me to the exit.”With that, I led them out of The Vault, stopping to pick up a few books for Twilight.

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As soon as we reached the house level, I shifted back into unicorn form and gasped as the stinging sensation hit my ribs. “Owwww…are you doing today?” I asked, trying to cover up the pain.“Uh, Omnius? You feelin’ alright there pardner?” Applejack asked, noticing my pain.“Oh, I’m peachy. Just a couple of bruised ribs, that’s all,” I said, walking to the door.“Thanks for showing us your Vault,” Twilight said, looking at the books I had lent her with joy on her face.“No prob. Heck, I’m glad I did. Now then, shall we go and get on with the day?” I asked, walking out of the house. “By the way, whatever happened with the ticket situation?”“Oh, I forgot to tell you! Princess Celestia sent all of us tickets to go!” Twilight exclaimed, suddenly remembering. “She even gave you a ticket too!”I lifted an eyebrow and said, “Really? Guess I’d better get a suit then. Don’t want to show up looking like a slob, now do I?”We all laughed and I followed Twilight to the library, eager to start my magic training.

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Part Two: Cupcakes…

I was sitting on an overstuffed armchair, staring at the fire, unable to sleep. I sipped at my Mountain Dew and felt uneasy.“Something ain’t right,” I murmured, feeling an unnatural chill seep into my bones. “I think we’ve hit a crossroads.”Oops, forgot the confused viewers. Here, let me explain. A crossroads is what I call it when a certain event will take place, and because of that event, nearly endless universes are created from it. If you want a good example of that happening, just think of the butterfly effect. One small event can lead to literally countless others. So if you multiply that by about a kajillion, then you have a crossroads effect.Butterfly effects and crossroads are something that I tend to pay attention to. Remember how I mentioned that I travel throughout all of Time, Space, and Matter and across all of the Realities for all of eternity and beyond? By all, I really do mean ALL.Grinning wryly, I thought to myself, “I guess that’s why it’s not just my fate to Travel, it’s my doom to Travel as well…Damn, but how old am I now? I lost count a long time ago…”I shook my head, and drained the rest of my drink. I looked around my house and marveled at how different it looked from when I first built it. There were now framed pictures of my friends sitting on the mantle of the fireplace, a huge threadbare couch that was set a couple of feet away from the wall, and a thick rug that covered the floor in front of the fireplace. Shelves that were filled with books and seemingly random knick-knacks occupied an entire wall, and in the kitchen, my refrigerator was covered with all sorts of crayon drawings. They weren’t what anyone would call ‘Masterpieces’, but they still deserved their own place of honor on my fridge. My table still had the remains of my dinner on it, and the surface of the counter was covered with random debris.I shivered and reached over to a small side table that had my iPod and docking station on it. Hitting shuffle, I tried to relax as the opening to ‘Far Away,’ by Jose Gonzalez started pounding out of the speakers. I glanced at the digital display and winced when I saw the time.“Geez, it’s late,” I mumbled, still not feeling tired. Finally deciding that sitting around wasn’t gonna help me relax, I got up, stretching as I did so. I walked to the door and grabbed an oversized blue cloak, tossing it over my shoulders as I went outside.I gazed at the night sky and did a two-fingered salute at the moon. “Hey Luna,” I whispered, as I walked to Ponyville.I wasn’t worried about anypony seeing me in my human form, since it was late enough that the vast majority of the town should have been asleep. If anypony did get a glimpse of me though, the cloak would help make sure that they couldn’t get a good enough look at me to see any details.I flipped the hood over my head, casting my face into the shadows, and walked into Ponyville.

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Walking through the town, I couldn’t help but think of how beautiful the night was. I smiled, forgetting about the crossroads for a few moments and just let my feet carry me through the silent town.“Peaceful, isn’t it?” I heard a voice say from behind me.I tensed and whirled around, summoning my sword to my hand. I stopped though, once I realized it was just The Doctor, sitting on a park bench. Strangely enough though, he was sitting like, for lack of a better word, a human would, with his back propped up against the seat and his hind legs hanging over the side.“Hey Doc,” I said, dismissing my blade and sitting next to him. “Why are you sitting like that?”“I saw a unicorn sitting like this the other day and decided to try it out. It’s surprisingly comfortable.”“Ah.” I stared up at the sky and commented, “The sky sure looks nice.”“Yes,” The Doctor agreed. “Ever since the Princess resumed her duties, the skies have regained their once lost beauty.”“Yeah.” We sat in silence for a moment longer, before The Doctor turned his head and looked at me curiously.“Why are you up so late anyways? And why are you in your human form?” He asked, looking concerned.“I’m in human form because the only things besides Luna that would be crazy enough to be up this late are you and me, and…well, there’s something funny goin’ on,” I confessed.“What do you mean exactly?”“Well, for starters, I can’t remember what when I’m in.  Did we just defeat Discord a little while ago? Or did I just beat the living daylights out of Gilda?” I shook my head and kept going. “Don’t answer me Doc. Something tells me that you can’t remember either. Whenever something like this happens, it means that something big is about to happen. Something that can determine a near endless field of realities for me to explore. That’s not what I’m worried about though.”I wrapped the cloak around me, and The Doctor asked softly, “Then what are you worried about?”I was silent for a few moments, before answering, “I’m worried about where this Reality will head. I need to make sure that nothing bad happens here, even though it might happen somewhere else and I’ll have to live it anyways.”“Why? Why prolong what will undoubtedly occur?” The Doctor asked.I got up and started walking away. “Because in the end, it’s trying that makes the difference.”

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Since I wasn’t paying much attention to where I was walking, I was pretty surprised to find that I had nearly walked into an incredibly tall ladder that was currently underneath Rainbow Dash’s cloud house (Jealous!).“What the…” I muttered to myself, as I looked up into the sky. My eyes widening, I quickly shuffled backwards a few steps when I saw a blob of pink at the top of the ladder. Knowing that it was Pinkie Pie, I fully expected her to slide down and do some random thing that would make me laugh my ass off.What I didn’t expect, however, was the quiet sound of crying, easily heard in the silence of the night. Pinkie Pie slowly, almost reluctantly, climbed down the ladder, her hair oddly deflated in some areas with tears still streaming down her face. When she reached the bottom, she folded up the ladder into an impossibly small bundle, her hooves trembling as she folded. She gave a small hiccup and turned in the direction of the town.“Pinkie Pie?” I called out, concerned.She sniffed and turned to look at me. “Hey Omni…I didn’t-hic-see you there.”“What are you doing up this late?” I asked, kneeling down next to her.She looked at me and said in a quiet, fear filled voice, “Omni…I had a…a really bad dream.”She then burst into tears and threw her forelegs around me in a tight hug. I gently returned the hug and whispered, “Hey, come on now. It’ll be alright. Come on, it’s late. Sugarcube corner is on the other side of town, so how about you come spend the rest of the night at my place? It’s closer anyhow.”I felt her nod her head and I got up, gently carrying her with me. She silently sobbed into my cloak and together we went back to my house.

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I set Pinkie down on the couch and fetched her a glass of water. She accepted it gratefully, shakily gulping it down.When the glass was empty, I asked her, “Feel any better?”“A little…” She sniffed again, and I handed her a tissue. This scared me. I mean, what was so terrifying, so traumatizing, that it had caused Pinkie to go into hysterics?After Pinkie finished blowing her nose, I sat down next to her on the couch and quietly asked, “Do you want to tell me about that dream you had now?”Hesitating, she answered, “I…I don’t know. It was just so scary, and I-I-”Her eyes dilated and her chest started rising and falling rapidly, as she began hyperventilating. I grabbed her shoulder and said, “Pinkie! It’s okay, you don’t have to worry. I’m here for you.”This seemed to calm her down a little, and I quickly said, “Pinkie, there are two ways I can help you with this. You can either tell me about your dream, or…”My hesitation made her look at me, and the fact that her eyes lacked the usual carefree innocence that always sparkled in them made me continue, regardless of what fears held me back. “You can let me relive it with you.”“You can do that?” She asked, tears still cascading down her cheeks.“Sure. The difference between the two is that you won’t have to tell me anything about your dream and will only relive the memory of it. I’ll be able to get a first-hand account of what happened and be able to know how I can help out,” I explained, keeping my voice quiet.“B-but…” She turned away and shut her eyes, the fresh horror of her nightmare still in her mind.“Pinkie.” I cupped her cheek with my right hand and whispered softly, “Look at me.”She did so and we both stared into each other’s eyes. I dropped some of the mental shields I always kept in place to hide myself and allowed her to get a small sense of my being. I don’t know whether it’s a magic ability or just something that my heart tells me, but I’ve been able to look into a person’s eyes and glimpse their…I don’t know what to call it. I guess the closest thing to compare it to would be Dresden’s Soulgaze, but it’s not exactly that… I guess that I’m just seeing what the other is really feeling and part of why they feel that way.The tears finally stopped flowing, and she nodded, saying in a voice that was quieter than Fluttershy’s, “Okay…But please don’t hate me when you see it.”I smiled and said, “Pinkie, you’re one of my best friends. If you can forgive me for some of the shit I’ve done, than I can definitely look past a nightmare you had.”I whispered words of magic and experienced for myself firsthand, the nightmare that would shape the fate of over a thousand Equestrias…I was floating.Not really that strange, seeing as how this was how I’d experienced other dreams that my friends had had.Currently, I was floating above the doorway of Sugarcube Corner, where Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were talking about something. Pinkie then handed R.D. a cupcake, which she promptly bit into and then passed out, the world fading to darkness as she did.I waited silently, wondering what the hell was going on.When light returned, I tensed. Rainbow Dash was strapped to a table, her wings fluttering wildly as she tried to free herself. Pinkie Pie showed up then, expertly twirling a knife in her hooves. The two ponies talked for a minute, one with fear and desperation in her voice, the other with a manic grin on her face.For fear of my stomach releasing its previously devoured contents, I won’t repeat what was said…only that it was terrifying.And it got a lot worse when more lights came on, revealing the room to be a testament to the insanity of…of…Gods and Goddesses of Good protect us.The walls were sadistically decorated with the remains of pony corpses, each horribly mutilated and transformed into disgusting party decorations.“Pinkie…” I said, fearfully. I reached a hand out to grab her, only to have my hand sink harmlessly through her shoulder.“Right, this is a dream. Can’t do shit in here,” I said, floating back up.With horror, I watched as Pinkie Pie took the knife and started carving strips of meat off of the still living Pegasus.I screamed and forced myself to watch the rest of the dream, forcibly reminding myself that I had seen worse before.I just couldn’t remember when I had.“Isn’t this delightful?” Torrentican said from beside me.I whirled around and shouted, “You!”“Yes?” he asked.“You did this? You showed Pinkie this-this abomination?!”“I merely allowed her to see what is to come, what might happen, and what has already occurred,” Torrentican said, smiling evilly.I felt my fists clench and barely controlling my anger, snarled, “Why?”He shrugged and said, “I thought it would be funny. She is the Element of Laughter after all. Although it would have been so much easier for me if she could see me…alas, I cannot show myself to her in her dreams.”“Ain’t that a shame?” I said sarcastically.“Well what can you do about it?” Torrentican sneered. “You can’t do anything in this dream, so why should I worry about you?”I felt my body grow cooler as I held out a massive revolver with a sandalwood grip. My outer shirt turned into a long leather duster and a worn cowboy hat appeared on my head. Torrentican’s eyes widened, as I said in an icy tone, “Because you have forgotten the face of your father.”“But how can you access that power here!?” He asked, his face betraying the surprise he felt.“You forget that I’m the Traveling Guardian…and that on this world, the night, and all that she stands for, is on my side. In other words, you forgot about Princess Luna.”I felt a smug feeling in the back of my head. “Thanks,” I thought at her.Torrentican took a trembling step backwards. I aimed the massive revolver at his face and started to say in a cold, dispassionate voice, “I do not aim with my hand; He who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.“I aim with my eye.”I thumbed back the hammer.“I do not shoot with my hand; He who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.“I shoot with my mind.”Torrentican shook his head and looked at me, his face a cool mask of neutrality.“Very well Omnius. You win this round. But what’s to stop me from returning to torture them in their daily lives? What’s to stop me from returning and making their lives a living hell?” He asked.Ignoring him, I continued chanting. “I do not kill with my gun; He who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father.”I pulled the trigger and roared over the thunder of the revolver, “I kill with my heart!”As soon as the bullet connected with his forehead, Torrentican disappeared in a cloud of mist, and the rest of the world became a swirl of black fog.

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My eyes opened and I saw that Pinkie was standing over me, an extremely worried look on her face. I sat up and asked, “How long was I out?”“Only for a second,” Pinkie said, her hair returning to its poofy style. “Omni, what happened?”I smiled and rubbed her head fondly. “I made the bad dream go away.”“But I still remember it! And you-you saw it! How can you not hate me?” She asked, sobbing all over again. “I’m a monster!”I wrapped my arms around her and said, “You aren’t a monster. You’re Pinkie Pie, the world’s greatest partier, and the Element of Laughter. You are my friend and the friend of some of the greatest creatures I’ve ever met. You always try to be nice to others, and you don’t care what others think because you’re happy with the way you are. Everyone I’ve met wishes they could be like you…I wish I could be like that too.”She kept sobbing and I held her silently, letting her get it all out. When she finally stopped, I decided it was time I told her about something that I had never told anyone.“Would it make you feel better if I told you about the first time I died?”She stopped crying for a moment and said in a confused voice, “But I thought you couldn’t die?”I nodded and said, “You’re right. But it’s a lot easier to say than, ‘Get-butt-kicked-so-hard-that-I-have-to-return-to-a-home-world-and-heal.’”She giggled weakly at that, and she nodded. “I guess it kind of would.”“Good.” I picked her up and set her on the couch. “It happened a long time ago, on a world called Sera. At the time, there was a war going on between two sides: Humans and Locust. The Locust were these monsters that lived underneath the surface of the planet and had suddenly come out and attacked the humans, wanting nothing less than total genocide.”Pinkie remained silent and I continued. “Well, it was my first month on that planet. Me and the squad of humans, Delta Squad, had just been ambushed by an entire horde of Locusts, and we were very outnumbered. I knew that all of us had no chance of surviving an attack like that, so I convinced the others to leave while I held them off, giving them a chance to get away.”My throat tightened and I had to swallow a few times before I could continue. “I covered their escape with a mounted weapon called a Troika, which is capable of taking out dozens of enemies before overheating. Once it did though…”

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“Shit,” I panted, jumping behind a sandbag wall. I glanced over it and winced when I saw the beast-like Locust horde roaring at me.“Looks like…I’m not gonna make this one.” I tightened my grip on my Lancer assault rifle and grinned to myself. “Looks like it’s as good a time as any to see if I really can’t die or not!”I stood up and fired wildly into the crowd, yelling as I did so. The first row of Locust fell, but the return fire from the remaining Locust tore into me, riddling me with bullet holes. Gasping in pain, I dropped the now empty gun and reached uselessly for the pistol at my side.A drone laughed derisively, and I heard the distinct revving of a chainsaw. I closed my eyes and felt the sharp bite of the razor sharp teeth tear into my neck……and, gasping, woke up in a bed. My heart was racing, and I looked around, uncertain of what had just happened. Spying a window nearby, I stumbled over to it, barely noticing that I was wearing my normal clothes again, instead of the ruined power-armor I had on before.I gazed outside and my breathing slowed.“Hollow Bastion,” I said, laughing. “I’m in freaking Hollow Bastion.”The city was still in shambles, but the inhabitants were currently repairing their home, attempting to make it even better than before. I saw Yuffie run by and I waved at her. She waved back, obviously surprised, but she kept going.I rolled up my pants leg and gently probed the skin with my fingers. No signs of damage anywhere, minus a few itching sensations, and I let out a sigh of relief.“I really can’t die!” I said. My heart dropped however, once I realized what I had left behind. “I gotta get back there! And fast! I need to make sure they’re all alive!” I grabbed my backpack and ran through the barriers that separated and joined the Realities, plunging into another world.

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“And that’s another story for another day,” I finished, leaning back against the couch.Pinkie’s eyes were wide, as she said, “And you haven’t told anypony about this?”I shook my head.“Why did you tell me?”I thought for a moment and then said, “Because I could. You showed me that nightmare, so I figured the least I could do was show you something that scared the crap out of me.”Pinkie yawned and I grinned. “Tired?”She nodded and I picked her up and carried her into my guest room. Setting her gently on the bed, I tucked her inside of the covers and kissed her forehead.“Sleep tight Pinkster,” I whispered, getting up to leave.“…Seanie?”I really hate that name. Seriously, the fastest way to get on my nerves is for someone to call me that. For some reason though, I didn’t mind it when Pinkie called me that. I guess it was because it was hard to get mad at her.“Yeah?”She mumbled something, and I asked her, “What was that?”“…Will you stay in here? And sing me a lullaby?” She mumbled.I smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. “Anything for my friends.”She smiled softly and closed her eyes.I started humming softly and sang in a low, quiet voice, the song that I would always listen to whenever I was scared or sad…A song that could only be properly expressed with a ukulele.“Somewhere, over the rainbow…Way up high...” I sang softly, “And the, dreams that you dream of, once in a lullaby.” I guess that I figured the song was perfect for her. It was soft, calming, and it had Rainbows in it. Seeing as how Pinkie needed a song that was reassuring, it seemed that there was no other song that could work. I’d have to remember to teach it to Fluttershy later.I sang the entire song, and when the sun rose, I was still sitting on the bed, wide awake and watching over my friend’s dreams.Right before the moon disappeared, I looked out the window and whispered, “Thank you Princess Luna. I’ll make sure Torrentican can’t touch their dreams again.”The Moon blinked in response and sank beneath the horizon.

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I heard a frantic knocking at my door, and I got up to answer it, Pinkie still sleeping peacefully in the guest room. I shifted into Earth pony form and opened the door to see a frantic looking Mr. and Mrs. Cake.“Morning,” I said cheerfully, barely suppressing a yawn.“Omnius, have you seen Pinkie Pie anywhere? We woke up this morning and she was gone!” Mr. Cake said, looking behind me as if I was hiding her.“No worries,” I said, backing up. “Pinkie just had a really bad dream and long story short, I helped her out with it. She’s asleep in the guest room if you wanna go wake her up.”Mrs. Cake hurried in, and Mr. Cake had a relieved smile on his face. “Thanks Omnius. I don’t know what we’d do without her. She’s like a daughter to us.”“Hey, no prob. I was glad to help her out. But a word of advice: Don’t mention cupcakes to her at all, and see if you can get Rainbow Dash to swing by later, it’ll help.”He blinked but nodded.I grinned and then threw myself onto the couch. “If anypony needs me, I’ll be passed out on…my…couch…”I fell asleep, realizing that I had just gotten through the crossroads and gotten this world passed it. It seemed like things were only going to get better and the thought made me happy, but it also gave me a sense of foreboding.“Great…Now I just have to look forward to the day I get to go to the world where that nightmare takes place…lovely.”

Who Ya Gonna Call?

Chapter 10:

Who ya Gonna Call?

(Takes place during ‘Boast Busters’)

“It’s really quite simple Omnius,” Twilight said for the fourteenth time. “All you have to do is focus your thoughts on what you want to accomplish, and you’ll be doing magic in no time!”

I was glaring at a plate that was sitting in front of me, as I tried to use magic to levitate it off of the table. A navy blue glow encompassed it, and the plate started vibrating slightly. Beads of sweat started to form on my head, and I snarled through clenched teeth, “Come on…Come on!”

The plate floated a few inches into the air, and I felt a brief flash of triumph…right before said plate then dropped to the ground, somehow managing to miss the table entirely, where it shattered into tiny pieces.

“Well, at least this time you managed to levitate it!” Twilight said encouragingly. I sighed, and grabbed a broom and dustpan with my teeth. It was conveniently placed near the door, since this was the seventeenth plate I’d broken…that day. I started to sweep up the broken bits, when the broom was suddenly snatched out of my mouth.

“Ah! No using your teeth!” Twilight chided. “If you want to learn how to use magic, you have to learn how to use it like it’s something you have to depend on!”

I bit back some harsh words that had come to mind, and nodded my head. I focused on the broom, and thought to myself, “Alright. Come on! Broomstick-cadabra!”

As I focused on the broom, it lifted into the air, and started to slowly sweep up the broken bits. It moved at a snail’s pace, but at least it managed to stay in the air longer than the plate did. After it managed to get the last shard into the dustpan, the broom fell to the ground.

“Great job!” Twilight said. “Now use magic to lift the dustpan.”

“Yes Master Miyagi,” I grumbled. “Wax on, wax off, and all that stuff.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” I aimed my horn at the dustpan, and it lifted into the air. I slowly brought it to the trashcan, and tried to tip it so that none of the shards would miss. Instead of that however, I accidentally made the dustpan become a mini-catapult, and launched all of the shards into the air at Spike. I yelped, and Twilight created a purple colored dome that surrounded the dragon, protecting him from the shards.

“FUCK!” I swore, my patience worn out.

“There’s no need to swear like that,” Twilight said calmly, her horn glowing as she picked up the pieces of the shattered plate. They neatly pieced themselves back together, and with a flash of purple light, mended themselves into one plate.

“Sorry Twilight. I’m just mad that I can’t seem to do even the simplest of unicorn magic!” I let out an exasperated sigh, and rubbed my temples with my hoof. “Moreover, if it weren’t for you, Spike would have been spiked!”

Twilight allowed herself a small smile, and said, “It’s just levitation. It took me months before I could do what I can do now.”

“Yeah, I know. I just feel… I dunno.” I slumped to the ground, still rubbing my temple.

Twilight came over and sat next to me. “I think I know what’s wrong with you.”

I felt my eyebrow shoot up, and I said, “Then enlighten me.”

“Well, you Travel, correct?”

I nodded.

“And you fight against evil on a near daily basis, right?”

I nodded again. “Twilight, I don’t mean to sound rude, but can you get on with it? My head hurts enough as it is.”

She blinked, before saying, “Oh, right. I forgot about the headaches that can come from learning magic.” She levitated a glass of water to me, and I accepted it gratefully, slugging it down.  “Anyways, to get to the point: You’re used to being the one that everypony can rely on. You’re used to being a super hero, and you feel frustrated that you can’t do more.”

I thought about it for a moment, and decided that she was right. Almost. “Well, I’m not exactly used to being a super hero, but you’re right about one thing. I want to do more to help out everypony. I’m not happy with being the one who has to watch as something bad happens to their friends. If there’s even a small chance of me doing something that can help others, then I’m gonna go all out on it.”

I got up, and levitated the glass to the kitchen sink, depositing it gently. I sighed, and Twilight clapped her hooves together gleefully.

“What?” I asked.

“I think I just found out what your problem is!” She said, still clapping.

“What? Am I schizophrenic? Do I need to take a bath?” I sniffed my armpit, and grimaced. “I guess I do need deodorant.”

“No, I mean why you have trouble doing magic!” She said, laughing.

“Well spill the beans!”

“You need to stop thinking about it!” Twilight said, levitating a basket full of tennis balls so that it was lying right next to her.

“Huh?” I wittily replied.

“Most unicorns use magic because it’s a part of their daily lives! But when they’re foals, they have to make sure that they think about it before they do it! That’s why foals aren’t as good at magic as adults are! They think of it as a separate part of them, while fully grown unicorns use it as a part of their daily lives! More specifically, the levitation that is common for almost all unicorns!”

“Dumb it down for me,” I asked, my headache returning full force.

“Foals aren’t used to magic! You aren’t used to using magic like ours, so you have to think about it, when it should be an instinctive thought!” Twilight exclaimed, lifting a few balls into the air.

“Ooooooh. But what does that have to do with the tennis balls?” I asked, scratching my head.

“Don’t think of them as ‘tennis balls’, think of them as…Dodge Balls,” Twilight said, a mischievous smile on her face. “Spike? Want to help Omnius with his magic?”

My eyes widened, as Unicorn and Dragon both picked up a small pile of tennis balls. I gulped. “Uh, are you sure that-” A ball hit me square in the jaw, and cut off what I was about to say.

“Watch it! That nearly hit the glas-” I ducked, as another ball flew for my face. “Okay, real funny. Now cut it ou-” I jumped to the right. “Alright, now I’m getting mad!”

Five tennis balls shot out of nowhere, and my horn glowed, halting three of them in midair. The other two flew forward, but missed me. “I was in the middle of saying something!” I shouted.

I sent the balls I had caught back at them, where they were deflected harmlessly by Twilight. Spike took this opportunity to throw a few more balls my way, and I instinctively called up a panel of hexagon shaped crystal, which absorbed the force of the blows.

“Uh oh,” I said, realizing what spell this was. “DUCK!”

We all hit the floor, and the panel shattered into smaller shards, and shot forward, knocking over a few books from the bookshelf. It didn’t tear open anything, and I let out a sigh of relief. The books glowed, as I lifted them onto the bookshelves.

“Sorry about that,” I apologized. “I didn’t mean to use my Reflect spell.”

“Sorry?” Twilight said enthusiastically. “That was an impressive spell! What exactly does it do?”

“Well, it does two things: One, it creates a shield that can take most attacks, and Two, absorbs the attack as kinetic energy, and sends it out in a random direction,” I explained. “One of my personal favorite spells, but a little unstable.”

“I’d say!” Spike said.

While he was distracted, I levitated one of the balls, and shot it at him. It bounced off of the floor, and hit him on the head.

“It’s good!” I shouted, throwing my forelegs up into the air, forming the shape of a goal post. Spike then pointed up, grinning as he did so. I looked up, and saw that Twilight had levitated the entire basket of tennis balls above me.

“…Clever girl.” The basket turned over, and buried me in a fuzzy yellow avalanche. “Ow.”

I poked my head out of the pile, while Twilight and Spike laughed uproariously. I grinned, and said, “Two can play at this game Gandalf!” My horn glowed, and an orb of white light shot out, and hit the floor between Twilight and Spike, where it disappeared in a blinding flash.

I blinked, stunned. “Um, I didn’t mean to do that. Heck, I didn’t even know I COULD do that!”

Twilight looked at me with renewed interest. “It seems as if you’ve stumbled upon a new spell!”

“Looks like it,” I said, digging myself out of the mountain of tennis balls. “Wonder what I can use it for?”

Twilight and Spike both shrugged, and I said, “Oh well. Guess it doesn’t matter right now. Hey, weren’t you going to practice some sort of new magic trick?”

Twilight’s eyes gleamed, as she nodded happily. “That’s right. Spike, would you please get the list?”

“Sure thing,” Spike said, running off screen for a moment. He returned carrying a giant clipboard that had different types of magic tricks written on it, most of them already checked off. He also clutched a mirror that was roughly the same size that he was, which only raised my curiosity. What the dickens was Twilight practicing?

“So what’s the newest one?” I asked, looking at the list.

“You’ll see,” Twilight said, smiling.

“Do all magic users have to be cryptic like that?” I groaned.

“Shush!” Twilight hissed. “I need to focus.”

I shrugged, and stood off to the side. I watched, grinning, while Twilight aimed at Spike.

“Come on, Twilight, you can do it!” He encouraged.

Twilight took a deep breath to steady herself, and said, “Okay…Here goes!”

She closed her eyes, and her horn started to glow as she charged her magic. The area around Spike’s mouth started to glow as well, and with a quick flash of light, a thick moustache appeared, hiding his mouth from view.

I felt my jaw drop, as Spike cheered for Twilight. “Ha ha! Ya did it! Growing magic, that's number twenty five.” He marked off the spell from the list, and continued praising Twilight. “Twenty five different types of tricks and counting! And I think this is the best trick so far!”

“A spell that can grow mustaches…” I said quietly, nodding. “…BEST. SPELL. EVER!” I shouted, laughing. Twilight smiled, blushing slightly, embarrassed by the praise.

Spike turned to look at the mirror, and he started posing in front of it. “Hello, Rarity. What's that? Aw, it's nothin', just my awesome moustache.”

Twilight giggled, and said apologetically, “Sorry, Romeo. As attractive and enticing as you look, it's just for practice and it's gotta go.” Her horn started glowing, as she prepared to remove the mustache.

After the flash…well, SOMETHING disappeared.

“Twilight,” I said in a controlled voice.

“Yes Omnius…Where did your beard go?”

I stood there, my eye twitching dangerously, as I scratched at the bald spot that was my chin. “Somepony push ‘Control+Z’”

“Oops. Um, let me fix that for you,” Twilight said, giggling nervously.

“Please.”

XHXHXHXHXHX

After that little incident, we all figured that we could use a break from the magic (before I broke something else), so we headed into town.

“Twenty five, Twilight. Twenty five different kinds of tricks and counting,” Spike said in awe. “I thought unicorns were only supposed to have a little magic that matches their special talent.”

“Wait, what?” I asked at this new bit of information.

“Oh, I forgot to explain that to you!” Twilight said. “Well, unicorns can use magic, but only if it’s related to their special talent. For example, Rarity’s special talent involves designing clothes with lavish gems. But she needs to be able to find the gems, right?”

I nodded in understanding. “So she can use a spell that can find them. What about you though? I mean, your special talent IS magic!” I pointed at her cutie-mark, and said, “So does that mean that you can pretty much do anything?”

“Well duh!” Spike said enthusiastically. “She knows tons of magic!”

“Oh, Spike, stop. I'm sure there are lots of ponies right here in Ponyville that know just as much magic as me,” Twilight said humbly.

“Ah, come on!” I said, punching her shoulder. “Spike is right! You’re probably the best unicorn here!”

“You kidding?” Spike replied incredulously. “Twilight is probably the best unicorn in all of Equestria!”

Note to self: Tell Spike to stop giving the universe openings like that.

“Gangway!” a voice called out. All three of us turned to see two small unicorn foals, one short and slightly chubby while the other was tall and gangly, that were charging towards us.

“Coming through!” The skinny orange one called out, right before they plowed through us, taking Spike with them.

“I blinked, what just happened?” I called out, as we caught up to the foals. The foals then stopped suddenly, and the laws of physics sent Spike flying. I put on some more speed, and slid to the ground, catching the dragon on my back.

“Thanks,” He said in a slight daze.

“No problem,” I wheezed, the wind knocked out of me. “What’s with Tweedledee and Tweedledoo over there?”

“That’s Snips and Snails. They’re friends of mine.”

“Ah.”

He crawled off of me, and I took a couple of breaths to make sure that my lungs were still working. I got up, and walked to where the two foals were talking enthusiastically about some sort of new unicorn that had come to town. According to them, this new unicorn was supposedly the most magical unicorn around.

“Aw, no way, that honor goes to Twilight here!” Spike said, as we rejoined the group.

She did that same blush/smile thing (I must say: D’aww), before she asked, “Where is this unicorn?”

“Hooo, she’s in the town square!” Snails (or at least, the unicorn with the snail cutie-mark) said. “Come on!” He ran off towards the square, leaving me to wonder if Canadians existed in Equestria (you heard the accent too!).

“Yeah!” The shorter one, Snips, shouted, following his friend.

Twilight, Spike, and I, all glanced at each other, before following the foals.

Something tells me I’m not gonna like this.

XHXHXHXHXHX

We followed Snips and Snails to the square, where it looked like almost all of Ponyville had gathered, their collective gazes focused on a trailer/carriage thing that reminded me of a Gypsy caravan. We pushed our way to the front of the crowd, where Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie were already standing, waiting for us.

“Howdy,” I said, nodding my head at them.

They nodded back at me, as a loud and arrogant voice called out, “Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

As the voice spoke, the trailer unfolded itself into a stage, with purplish-blue curtains in the back. There was a huge POOF of smoke, and a light blue unicorn with lavender colored eyes, wearing a star-spangled purple hat and cape appeared.

“She loses points for not being a giant floating head,” I mumbled, remembering another “Great and Powerful” wizard I had met.

The audience didn’t share my opinion, and they gasped in awe.

“Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!” She exclaimed dramatically. Fireworks lit up the stage, and the air was filled with the sound of heroic fanfare.

“My, my, my! What boasting!” Rarity said disdainfully. Finally, somepony else agrees with me!

“Come on, no pony's as magical as Twili-Twi…Twi—Oh!” Spike realized that he was standing next to Rarity, and he tried to compose himself. “Hey, Rarity, I, uh-- Moustache!” He gasped, running off.

“Wimp,” I muttered under my breath.

“There’s nothing wrong with being magically talented, is there?” Twilight asked nervously, shifting on her hooves.

“Nothin' at all,” Applejack said. “'Ceptin' when someone goes around showin' it off like a school filly with fancy new ribbons.” She looked pointedly at Trixie, who was currently poofing up her own bouquet of flowers.

“Five bits say that she has to poof those up because nopony will give her any,” I muttered. I realized that I was being a bit harsh with the insults, but for some reason, I already couldn’t stand the boastful magician.

“Just because one has the ability to perform lots of magic does not make one better than the rest of us,” Rarity added, holding her head high.

That answer didn’t seem to make Twilight very happy, as her ears pressed against her forehead, making her look almost ashamed. I raised my eyebrow, and leaned over to her, whispering, “Hey? You a’ight there?”

“Oh, uh, I’m fine,” Twilight lied. I raised my eyebrow even higher, but let the matter go.

Rainbow Dash (who, like the others, didn’t hear us) then said, “Especially when ya got me around being better than the rest of us.”

Applejack glared at her, and the Pegasus hastily corrected herself, saying, “Eh, I mean, yeah, uh, magic shmagic. Boo!” She glanced warily at A.J, who nodded her head.

Trixie overheard this, and she glared at our group. “Well, well, well, it seems we have some neigh” (Holy crap, she actually whinnied that part) “sayers in the audience. Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?”

“Pfft,” Rarity said. “Just who does she think she is?”

Spike nodded in agreement. “Yeah! Since we all know that Twilight here is-” He started to say, before Twilight intervened.

“Spike! Shhh!” She said, pushing him to the side. I followed silently.

“What? What’s wrong?” Spike whispered, confused.

“Yeah? Why in the name of all that’s good are you all worked up?” I asked, tilting my head.

“Did you see the way they reacted to Trixie?” Twilight whispered. “I don't want anyone thinking I'm a show-off.”

“Oh come off it, Twi,” I said. “I doubt that anypony would think that about ya.”

She shook her head, and opened her mouth to say something, but the loud sound of the fanfare cut her off. We looked over to see that Trixie was now posing triumphantly, her fireworks going off behind her.

Rainbow Dash finally lost her patience, and she flew up to the obnoxious unicorn’s face, and said, “So, Great and Powerful Trixie, what makes you think you're so awesome, anyway?”

Trixie allowed a smug little grin to show itself on her face, and she answered, “Heh, why, only the Great and Powerful Trixie has magic strong enough to vanquish the dreaded URSA MAJOR!”

“Ain’t that a constellation?” I asked Twilight.

“Maybe in some of the worlds that you’ve been to, but here in Equestria, it’s also a type of beast,” Twilight whispered, as a set of fireworks went off, forming the shape of an angry blue bear with a star on its forehead.

“Huh. How terrifying?” I asked, my curiosity piqued.

“I don’t know much about them, but I’d guess Very. They can reach heights of up to 200 feet, and are incredibly strong,” Twilight answered. A lot of ponies in the audience gasped in awe, as they imagined Trixie fighting such a dreaded monster.

“When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to, but the Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in, and with her awesome magic vanquished the Ursa Major and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!” Trixie haughtily said, her fireworks giving everypony a visual aid.

“Sa-weet!” Snips and Snails both said. They jumped in front of the stage, and started praising Trixie, while I pretended to vomit.

“That settles it!” Snips said.

“Trixie truly is the most talented, the most magical, the most awesome unicorn in Ponyville!” Snails praised.

“No, in all of Equestria!” Snips cut in.

“How do you know?” Spike yelled. “You didn’t see it! And besides, Twi-”

Twilight’s horn glowed again, and a zipper magically appeared on Spike’s mouth, effectively shutting him up.

“Please teach me that spell!” I whispered to Twilight. “I need it for when a villain starts talking to themselves!”

Trixie laughed, and said, “It's true, my enthusiastic little admirer. Trixie is most certainly the best in Ponyville.”

Silence met Trixie, and I coughed slightly.

“Don’t believe The Great and Powerful Trixie?” She asked, laughing. “Well then, I hereby challenge you, Ponyvillians! Anything you can do, I can do better. Any takers? Anyone?” She called out arrogantly. “Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived!?!” She shouted the last part, as fireworks lit up the stage once again.

“Urge…to kill, rising,” I said quietly, cracking my neck.

Spike threw himself at Twilight’s hooves, and begged, “Please! She's unbearable! Ya gotta show her! Ya just gotta!”

Twilight whispered, “There's no way I'm going to use my magic now, Spike. Especially since-”

Trixie pointed, and said, “How about…YOU!”

Twilight gulped, and I nudged her. She looked at me, and I whispered, “She’s pointing at A.J.”

She let out a huge sigh of relief, as Applejack jumped onto the stage, saying, “That's it! I can't stand for no more of this!”

Me and Spike let out a cheer at that. “You show her A.J!” Spike shouted.

“Kick her flank into last week!”

A.J winked at us, and she turned to the boastful pony. “Can your magical powers do THIS?”

With that, she went off into a complicated rope spinning routine that would have made any cowboy insanely jealous. Applejack spun the rope, jumping through the lasso a couple of times, before she used the rope to snatch an apple off of a nearby tree. She ate the apple in one bite, while all of the ponies cheered wildly. “Top that, missy,” She said, crossing her legs.

“Oh ye of little talent,” Trixie said, her hat lifting away to reveal her horn. “Watch, and be amazed, at the magic of Trixie!”

Applejack’s rope suddenly lifted into the air, swaying like a snake. Applejack followed the rope’s hypnotic movements, not noticing that the other end of the rope had snatched an apple from the same tree that Applejack had gotten hers from.

“Applejack, watch out!” I shouted.

Too late. The rope tied itself around Applejack’s hooves, hogtying her and, to add insult to injury, shoved an apple into her mouth. All of the ponies in the audience, minus her friends, laughed at the sight of this, and they cheered for the magician.

“Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie prevails!” Trixie said.

I glared at Trixie, and hopped up onto the stage. I walked over to where Applejack was trying to get herself free, and I untied her.

“You a’ight there A.J?” I asked, pulling the apple out of her mouth.

“Yeah. Nothin’ hurt but my pride,” She grumbled, shaking her head as she walked off stage.

I turned to the boastful unicorn, ready to give her a piece of my mind, only to notice that Rainbow had already beaten me to the punch (or is the phrase, “beaten me to the buck” on this world?).

“There's no need to go struttin' around and showin' off like that!” The Pegasus shouted angrily.

“Oh?”

“That's my job!”

Rainbow Dash took off, spinning around a windmill’s blades to help her pick up speed. She took off into the sky, crashing through a line of clouds, before she stopped, and posed right in front of the sun, casting an awesome looking shadow onto the ground. She then flew back through the clouds, gathering water droplets, before she spun around the windmill again, and to finish it, she brought herself to a halt on stage, the droplets forming a small rainbow above her.

“They don’t call me ‘Rainbow’ and ‘Dash’ for nothing!” She proudly stated. The audience went wild again, and I didn’t think that Trixie could top that.

I was wrong. As usual.

“When Trixie is through, the only thing they’ll call you is ‘Loser,’” Trixie said, her horn glowing a pink color. A beam of pink light shot out of the horn, and hit Rainbow Dash, causing the Pegasus to whirl about in a tornado created from the rainbow she had made, spinning out of control. She flew through the air, and I felt myself get dizzy just from watching her.  She finally started heading towards the ground, picking up speed as she went.

My eyes widened, as I realized that if she hit the ground going as fast as she was, she might get seriously hurt. I reached over, and tore off Trixie’s cape.

“You DARE to touch the Great and Powerful Trixie?!” She yelled, shocked and angered.

“I’msorryI’llsendyouachecklaterthankyou!” I said in my best Jackie Chan voice, jumping off of the stage. “Rarity, help me out with this!”

I tossed one end of the cape out, and Rarity caught it with her magic, stretching it out into a makeshift trampoline. We moved to where Rainbow was gonna land, and caught her, saving her from any harm.

“Rainbow, darling, are you alright?” Rarity asked, both of us looking at our friend.

“I think I’m-urp-gonna be sick,” Rainbow Dash said, her eyes still spinning.

I let out a sigh of relief, and tossed the now dirtied cape to Trixie. “Thanks,” I said, giving her my best troll face. “You really helped to save a life that you endangered today.”

Trixie’s eyes narrowed, as she lifted the cape back onto her shoulders. “You DARE to mock the Great and Powerful-”

“And Obnoxious Trixie?” I interrupted. “Yes, yes I do.”

Her horn glowed, and a small, dark cloud floated over me. I looked up, and said, “Oh Horseapples.”

A lightning bolt shot out of the cloud, and hit me square between the eyes. “Ye-ouch!” I shouted, twitching a bit. The audience laughed uproariously at that, as I frantically checked to make sure that my glasses had survived…

“Oh no,” I muttered sorrowfully, as I held the two halves of my glasses in my hooves. The heat from the lightning bolt had melted the plastic that held them together, and subsequently broken them, although the glass was somehow untouched. Must have had something to do with the magic I placed into them a long time ago…

I started trembling, as I realized the enormity of the situation. My glasses had literally been with me since the beginning of my Travels, and I had gotten them a little while before I had started Traveling. Losing them was almost like losing an old friend, and it nearly broke my heart. I know that they’re just glasses, and that I could always get a new pair, but…It just wouldn’t be the same, you know?

A faint blue glow surrounded them, as Rarity lifted them into the air. She gave me a small smile, and then put the broken halves together, mending them completely with her magic. She placed them back onto my face, and said gently, “Are you alright?”

I smiled, and said, “Never better.” I glanced at Twilight, and added, “Somepony needs to teach that little Hoofdini rip-off a lesson though.”

Spike nodded, and started nudging the purple unicorn. “What we need is another unicorn to challenge her. Someone with some magic of her own.”

Rainbow Dash grinned. “Yeah! A unicorn to show this unicorn who's boss.”

Applejack stomped the ground excitedly, looking at Twilight. “A real unicorn to unicorn tussle!”

Twilight started stammering, but was saved from having to answer by…Rarity. Oh, Ye Gods.

“Enough. Enough, all of you,” She chided. “I take your hint, but Rarity is above such nonsense. Rainbow Dash and Applejack may behave like ruffians, but Rarity conducts herself with beauty, and grace.”

“Please don’t talk about yourself in the third person,” I pleaded. “It’s bad enough with Trixie doing it.”

“Ooo, what's the matter?” Trixie mocked. “Afraid you'll get a hair out of place in that rat's nest you call a mane?”

Rarity then turned her furious gaze towards Trixie. “Oh, it. Is. On!” Rarity made her way to the stage, where she used her magic to rip off a swath of the curtains. “You may think you're tough with all your so-called powers, but there's more to magic than your brutish ways. A unicorn needs to be more than just muscle. A unicorn needs to have style!”

The curtains swirled around her, forming a beautiful dress that had gold trimming on it (where did the- screw it, I’m not gonna ask). Her mane had been styled into a sophisticated pile on the top of her head, finishing the look. “A unicorn is not a unicorn without grace and beauty.”

Trixie grinned, as her horn started to glow.

Spike looked at me, and said confidently, “Rarity won't let Trixie get the best of her! She's strong, she’s beautiful, she’s-”

“In trouble,” I winced, once a colored beam of energy shot out of Trixie’s horn, hitting Rarity’s mane. “This ain’t gonna end well.”

The crowd gasped, as we all beheld the monstrosity that was now Rarity’s hair. I averted my eyes, and said, “Gah! Yep. Saw it coming.”

I tuned out all of the words that everypony said, until Spike tapped my shoulder. I looked up, and heard Twilight say, “Who, me? I'm just your run of the mill citizen of Ponyville. No powerful magic here. I, uh... I think I hear my laundry calling. Sorry, gotta go.”

“Twilight?” Spike said in a small voice.

“Hey, wait a second…She just made a Dr. Horrible reference!” I said, smiling. The smile disappeared once I heard Trixie start talking again.

“Ha! Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie has proven herself to be the most amazing unicorn in all of Equestria. Was there ever any doubt?” She turned to walk off the stage, reveling in her victory.

I’m pretty sure that you know me well enough to know that by now…I was PISSED.

“Hey, Lame and Obnoxious Trixie!” I called out, jumping onto the stage. She turned to look at me with an amused smile.

“You again? Does The Great and Powerful Trixie need to show you her superior magic once again?” She said, laughing.

“Oh, you have superior magic? When are you gonna start showing it then?” I widened my stance, and called out, “Trixie, I hereby challenge you to a Magician’s Duel!”

“A what?”

“You heard me you snob! Or do you not know what a Magician’s Duel is?” I mocked, adjusting my glasses.

“Of course The Great and Powerful Trixie knows what a Magician’s Duel is!” Trixie said haughtily. “She just thought that the audience should know what that is!”

“Oh sure thing.” I turned to the audience, and said, “A Magician’s Duel is a quick little duel between two magic users to determine which is the more powerful. Each magician brings one magic spell to the table, so to speak, and the better spell wins. Loser has to leave town, and can only return when they have become stronger.”

I mentally added a prayer to the Gods and Goddesses of Good, asking them to make it so that nopony remembered me as an Earth Pony, or that would raise too many awkward questions. They must have heard me, or at least the magic that was a part of the world did, because no one said anything.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie accepts your challenge!” Trixie shouted. “When do we duel?”

I thought about it for a moment, and said, “Midnight. Oh, and to let you know what you just got yourself into…”

My horn glowed, as I shot out a massive orb of light into the sky, where it exploded in a bright wave of energy. Trixie’s eyes widened, shocked that I could do something that she obviously needed fireworks to do.

“See you at midnight,” I laughed, walking off stage.

XHXHXHXHXHX

A few moments later, I walked into the library, and shouted, “What have I gotten myself into?”

Twilight looked up from what she was reading, and asked, “What happened?”

I told her about the Magician’s Duel that I had challenged Trixie to at midnight.

“So now, if I lose, I have to leave town until I become stronger,” I finished, sighing. “I’m not gonna back out, but I barely know anything about magic! In fact, I can only levitate things, summon a small shield, and fire off little light orbs!” I banged my head against a table. “I have really got to start thinking these things through.”

“Mm-hmm,” Twilight nodded.

“Hey? Were you even listening to me?” I asked indignantly.

“Sorry, I was, it’s just that there was something Trixie said that bothered me…”

I leaned my head over Twilight’s shoulder, and looked at the book she was reading. “Are you reading about-”

“Yes, I wanted to learn more about what she was boasting about.”

“Ah. Well Twilight, if you excuse me, I have to go. Gotta go get my flank kicked in a duel. See you later, I hope,” I said, walking out the door just as Spike shot in. “Hey Spike.”

I walked out of the library, my stomach twisting itself into knots. I needed to get something ready for the duel, but what?

“Wait a second…Crystal Reflect Spell…Light orb…telekinesis…IDEA!” I shouted gleefully. I went to the town square, laughing as I did so.

“It’s good to be The Traveler!” I shouted.

XHXHXHXHXHX

I stood in the middle of the square, smiling. Trixie was inside of her trailer, and I could feel her eyes on me. Good. I wanted her to see what I was gonna do, and hopefully she would try and worm her way out of the duel.

“Okay. Time to initiate…Okay, note to self: Come up with a badass name for spell later.” I focused my energy, and formed a large dome that was made of five hexagon shaped crystal panels.

My horn glowed slightly, as I lifted the dome into the sky, where it caught the light, and shimmered. An orb of light energy shot into it, and the dome exploded, fragments of crystal shooting out into every direction, each shard glowing violently.

“Now for the hard part.” I magically grabbed each of the shards, and directed them into the ground, where they surrounded me in a neat circle, before disappearing, leaving the air around them sparkling.

“Wooooo!” I yelled, excited. “It worked! Watch out Trixie, ‘cause you ain’t got nothing on The Traveler!”

I looked over to the trailer, and grinned. “Sure you wanna risk it?”

There was a loud clattering sound, and the door burst open, revealing a distraught looking Trixie. She looked at me, and I laughed again.

“See you at midnight!”

I failed to notice the dark shadow that moved behind Trixie as I left.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

I knocked on the door of the library.

“Come in!” Twilight called out. I walked in, grinning.

“Omnius? I thought you were preparing for the Duel?” She asked, looking up from her book.

“I finished! I’ve got my trick all planned out, and there is no WAY Trixie can beat it,” I said confidently.

“What does it do?” She asked.

“I’ll show you!”

Making a significantly smaller dome, I lifted it until it sat on the ceiling of the library. With a grunt of effort, I sent an orb of light into it, and it shattered, recreating what I had just done before on a smaller scale. Twilight gasped, and then clapped.

“Omnius, that was amazing!” She said, looking at the sparkles. “What do you call it?”

“I’m still working on a name.” I scratched at my beard. “Let’s see…the spell leaves the air sparkling…I shoot an orb of light at it…Hey, I think I’ve got it!”

“What?”

I grinned, and said, “I think I’m gonna call it, ‘Twilight’s Sparkle!’”

“Are you sure you want to name a spell after me?” Twilight asked incredulously.

“Well sure. You’re the one who’s teaching me how to use magic after all,” I grinned. “And it fits!”

She laughed, and said, “I suppose it does.”

“Mind if I stay here while I wait for the duel? I’ve been meaning to do some reading anyways, and now seems like as good a time as any to do that,” I asked, looking through the books.

“Go right ahead. Just put the book back when you’re done,” Twilight said, returning her attention to the book in front of her.

“Thanks. Hey where’s Spike?” I asked, suddenly realizing that the baby dragon hadn’t shown himself since I’d shown up. “He would get a kick out of that spell!”

Twilight winced, and looked sad. “We had an argument, and he went for a walk to cool himself off.”

When she didn’t elaborate, I shrugged, and said, “Oh well, no worries. He’ll be back and then you guys can forgive each other.”

She turned to look at me, and she half shouted, “I haven’t done anything wrong!”

“Whoa there, I didn’t say anything about that. I just said you guys can forgive each other is all,” I said calmly.

“Just because I think that if I challenge Trixie that I’ll lose my friends because they’ll think I’m a showoff doesn’t mean that I’m wrong!” She ranted, before stopping, once she realized what she’d said.

“So…you think that they’ll hate me for challenging her?” I asked casually.

“Oh, no Omnius! I just meant that-”

“I know what you meant Twi. No worries though.” I grabbed a book that had a picture of a stern looking unicorn with a long flowing beard on it. “They wouldn’t hate you though. In fact, it technically wouldn’t be showing off for you, especially since SHE challenged YOU back there.”

“But you challenged her! Doesn’t that mean-”

“She challenged me when she nearly hurt Rainbow Dash,” I said quietly, opening the book. “All I did was make her back up her words.”

I went silent, and forced myself to be immersed in the tales of a unicorn wizard known as Starswirl the Bearded. Huh. Cool name.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

After I finished the book, I looked at a nearby clock. 11:45. Guess I better head out.

I got up, and stretched. I levitated the book back onto the shelf, and said, “Welp, thanks for letting me wait here Twi, but I need to get goin’. I’ve got butts to kick, and gum to chew…and I’m all out of gum.”

Just as I opened the door, Spike ran in, yelling, “Twilight! You gotta come! Quick!”

“I already told you Spike, I don’t want to show up Trixie!” The unicorn said stubbornly. “Besides, Omnius is already going to duel her!”

“No, you don't understand!” Spike shouted fearfully. “It’s-”

Suddenly, the very library itself was shaken by the sound of an angry roar.

“Uh, is that what I think it is?” Twilight said in a small voice.

“Majorly,” Spike replied.

“What?” I asked, not getting it. “Oh come on, it can’t be that bad!”

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

“…That’s one big mofo,” I said, as we saw the Ursa destroy another cottage.

“You think?!” Spike practically shouted.

In my defense, it was huge. The Ursa was a dark blue color, and speckled with pinpricks of light that reminded me of stars. The Ursa was almost as big as the town hall, and it had yellow eyes with red pupils, and- oh yeah. IT WAS ON A RAMPAGE.

All three of us charged through the mob of ponies that was currently running away from the monster, and I spotted two very familiar unicorn foals who were watching the events unfold with smiles on their faces.

I pointed them out to Twilight, and we diverted our course, and met up with them.

“What’s going on?” Twilight asked them.

“We brought an Ursa to town!” Snips said proudly.

“You WHAT?!” Twilight shouted.

I smacked my face with my hoof, and said tiredly, “I’m gonna need a bigger drink to deal with this.”

“Don’t worry,” Snails said. “The Great and Powerful Trixie will vanquish it!”

We all looked at the unicorn in question, who was standing a little ways away, and she winced. “I can’t!” She finally said.

“What!?” The two foals said, shocked.

“What a tweest!” I added.

“Uh, I can't, I never have. No one can vanquish an Ursa Major. I just made the whole story up to make me look better,” Trixie confessed in a hurried voice.

“And so the truth floweth forth,” I said grimly.

The Ursa roared, angered at being ignored, and everypony in town trembled in fear. Spike nudged Twilight, and gestured at the bear. She gulped, and fearfully looked at the bear.

“Twilight, come on,” I said, pushing up my glasses. “You got this.”

She set her eyes in a determined look, and strode forth to meet the Ursa. Everypony watched in awe, as Twilight closed her eyes, and started preparing her spell.

I have to say, that in all of my years of Traveling, what Twilight did is still one of the most amazing things that I have ever seen in my eternal life.

What happened was this: First, the wind started blowing. A gentle breeze blew through the town, and when it hit a patch of cattails, a soft whistling lullaby could be heard. The Ursa heard the music, and a sleepy smile appeared on its face. It started swaying softly from side to side, yawing as it did so.

“Nice use of number sixteen,” Spike said quietly.

Her horn’s glow intensifying, she gave out another groan of effort, as she lifted the Ponyville town water tower off of its perch. Using magic (obviously) she dumped the water out of the container, and then moved it through a barn, collecting milk from some very disgruntled cows (don’cha know?).

A final strain of effort lifted the Ursa into the sky, saving Trixie from a crushing weight, where the Ursa met the tower. Grabbing its makeshift milk bottle, it sucked on it contently, as Twilight lifted the Ursa back into its home in the Everfree forest…

At least, that’s what should have happened.

Instead, what happened was the Ursa made it to the edge of the forest, before a beam of black energy shot out, hitting the Ursa, and dropping it onto the ground. The Ursa’s eyes snapped open, and it roared in pain. Another beam hit it, and the Ursa was slowly covered in inky black shadows.

“What?” Twilight wearily said, swaying. I ran over, and caught her. “But…why didn’t it work?” She asked, confused. “That was perfect!”

“I think I have an idea…” I said, slowly. I looked at Trixie, and said, “You shouldn’t listen to him. He’ll only make your life miserable.”

Trixie blinked, and a voice, familiar only to me and Trixie, called out, “Use the spell! NOW!”

Trixie’s eyes narrowed, and she aimed her horn at me. “I was taught this spell by the wizard…TORRENTICAN!” She shouted, her eyes glowing. A blob of pink, gelatinous looking energy shot out, and would have hit me square in the jaw, if Twilight hadn’t suddenly pushed me away.

“Twilight!” I yelled, and my cry was echoed by our friends. I ran over to her, and picked her up in my hooves. Her body started shrinking, and I gulped audibly.

Oh Gods and Goddesses…no…

“Twilight?” I asked softly, holding the shrunken pony.

“Goo!” Twilight cooed, looking at me with twinkling eyes.

“I was afraid of that.”

I magically levitated Twilight onto my back, and shouted, “Torrentican!”

He appeared in front of me suddenly, only in unicorn form as opposed to Pegasus form. “Hello Omnius,” He said darkly.

“Torrie, undo the spell, get rid of the Ursa, and I won’t kick your ass into last millennium,” I snarled.

“Sean, Sean, Sean,” Torrentican chided. “If you want that, all you have to do is deal with…well, I suppose you can guess.”

He laughed, and teleported away, as the rest of my friends on this world galloped up to me.

“Is Twilight okay?” Applejack asked, looking at me. “And why do you have a baby on your back?”

“Twilight is the baby,” I said simply.

“What? You mean that showoff did this to her!?” Rainbow Dash yelled, turning her gaze to Trixie. She grinned apologetically, and Rainbow flew up to her face.

“Change her back!” She shouted.

“I can’t. That unicorn that you just saw,” Trixie explained in a feeble voice, “Took almost all of my power, and used it to…ulp, well, make the Ursa, erm, darker? Anyways, I used the rest of my magic to cast a Youth Spell, which was supposed to hit Omnius, but…”

“What the hay do you mean by that?” Applejack asked in confusion.

I cleared my throat, and pointed to the now rapidly growing Ursa.

“What is that?” Rarity asked fearfully.

“It’s Big…” I started.

The Ursa’s fur darkened, turning from blue to a dark, sickly green color.

“Bad…”

The Ursa stood up, shaking the remains of trees off of its fur.

“Baby Ursa Minor,” I finished.

The Ursa Minor opened its eyes, and roared, sending all of the ponies, except for my friends (and Trixie and two certain foals), scurrying into their homes.

“Omnius, look!” A.J shouted, pointing to a wall that was ten feet thick that had suddenly lifted out of the ground.

“This is starting to look reaaaaly familiar,” I said, adjusting Twilight on my back. I looked over, and saw that there was a gray cloaked pony on top of a nearby rooftop. An orb of light shot out of her hood, and hit the Ursa, causing it to panic slightly. She looked at me, and I couldn’t make out anything that was underneath her hood. The mare nodded her head, and vanished.

“The Traveler of Neutrality…” I said softly.

“Who?” Applejack asked me.

“I’ll explain later. Right now, I’ve got a boss fight I need to take care of.” I galloped up the steps of the wall, and gazed at the Ursa Minor. It was now a good twenty feet taller, and it looked furious.

The Ursa roared, and boulders fired from out of nowhere, taking out a good portion of the wall I was standing on. It didn’t collapse however, and I wasn’t surprised when the Ursa started to slowly walk over.

“Come on! You’re just a rip-off of something I’ve already taken down!” I shouted, summoning an orb of light. I lobbed it at the beast, where it hit it squarely on its snout. The Ursa roared, and stumbled backwards, its color lightening slightly.

“So it’s gonna be like that, huh?” I dodged another boulder. “Well, bring it!” I shouted, lobbing another orb at it. It fell short however, and just harmlessly bounced off of its chest in a burst of light.

I jumped over to another section of wall, and lobbed another orb. This time, it hit the corrupted beast right in the kisser, and it fell back again. The Ursa looked at me with fiery hatred, and it did something I didn’t expect.

It opened its mouth, and shot a FREAKING FIREBALL at me.

“Gah!” I yelped, jumping to the side again. “Twilight, you hangin’ on alright?”

Baby Twilight laughed, and I said, “Right, you’re a baby. You’re having the time of your itty-bitty life, aren’t you? Wait, why didn’t I give you to A.J? Or Fluttershy? Why the hell are you up here with me!?”

She just laughed again, and I had to jump, narrowly avoiding another fireball. The Ursa had managed to close half the distance now, and I was getting worried. Another orb of light flew at the creature, and hit its target, once again sending it backwards, and dispelling the corruption. The battle kept up like this for awhile, and I only got hit by a boulder once. Strangely enough though, I only tripped slightly, but Twilight floated up in a bubble, and started to cry her little lungs out.

“WAAAH, AH, WHAAAAAH!” She cried, hurting my eardrums.

“Damn it Twi, hold on!” I lobbed a small orb at the bubble, and it popped. I jumped over, and caught the crying baby, and she instantly stopped crying, and laughed again.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” I grumbled, landing on a small patch of wall. I jumped again, dodging another fireball.

“Stupid Torrentican!” I shouted. “This is so cliché!” I aimed a final orb of light, and hit the massive Ursa in the face, where it roared once more, before it suddenly stopped, and looked around, confused.

“You can go home now!” I called out to it. “Go home to Mama Ursa! Go on now!”

The Ursa Minor looked at me, but then turned around, and went into the Everfree forest, soon disappearing from my sight entirely.

“And don’t come back,” I panted, the adrenaline rush fading.

Jumping off of the nearly destroyed wall, I made my way over to where my friends and Trixie were. “What are you girls staring at?” I asked once I saw the looks on their faces. “Haven’t you ever seen a parody of a famous video game battle?”

Everypony but Pinkie shook their heads, and Pinkie just giggled. “At least you didn’t have to worry about those fuzzy thingies!”

I shuddered at the memory. “Don’t remind me about those. I never want to see a Yoshi get high again…”

“Uh, Omnius? Shouldn’t we get Twilight back to normal now?” Applejack asked, lifting Twilight off of my back.

“Right. Trixie, your magic is back now, right?” I asked, turning to look at her. She nodded, and I shouted, “CHANGE HER BACK THEN YOU BITCH!”

She winced at my voice, and looked a little scared, but as of right then, I didn’t care. I was tired, Torrentican had shown himself to the ponies, and The Forever Traveler of Neutrality had had to intervene and make sure that I had a chance...Not a good day in my books.

“Darling, you don’t have to yell,” Rarity said. “She isn’t deaf you know.”

“I know. But she seems a little dense…after all, you don’t normally listen to the embodiment of all that is evil, now do you?”

Everypony gasped, and Trixie stammered out, “I-I didn’t know that! He just told me that he could help me beat you in our duel!”

“Oh yeah, about that…I think that by defeating the Ursa, something that you couldn’t do, then that means that I, by default, win. So after you turn Twilight back to normal, leave,” I said conversationally, as if we were talking about the weather.

Trixie glared at me, a hint of her old haughtiness in her eyes, but her horn glowed, and Twilight was enveloped in a sudden pink light. With a small POP sound, Twilight returned to her normal form.

“What happened?” She asked, looking around. “And where’s the Ursa Minor?”

“MINOR?!” Everypony but me gasped.

“Yeah. I said that earlier, didn’t I?” I said, casually rubbing the dirt off of my face. “Twilight, it’s a long story, but let’s just say that Trixie made a minor problem, into a MAJOR problem.”

Trixie glared at both me and Twilight, the pony who had upstaged her to begin with, and said in an arrogant voice, “Huh. You may have vanquished an Ursa Minor, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

With a puff of smoke, she took off, running into the distance.

“Aaaaaaaaaanyways,” I said after a moment. “Just to put Twilight’s mind at ease, y’all ain’t mad about the magic right?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Rarity asked, confused.

Twilight blushed, and said, “Well, I know how much you all hated Trixie's showing off with her magic tricks, and I just thought-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “Magic's got nothing to do with it. Trixie's just a loudmouth.”

The other ponies agreed, and I nodded.

“So…you don't mind my magic tricks?” Twilight asked hopefully.

“Your magic is a part of who you are, sugar cube, and we like who you are. We're proud to have such a powerful, talented unicorn as our friend,” Applejack said proudly.

“Okay, we got that out of the way,” I said, smiling. “Now we just have to deal with a certain…problem.”

I glared at the two unicorn foals who hadn’t had the sense to run when the fighting started. “Mentlegen…” I said.

They both looked at the ground, and Snips said, “Uh we're sorry that we woke up the Ursa Minor.”

Snails nodded, and added, “We just wanted to see some awesome magic.”

“Yeah! And the way you vanquished that Ursa Minor was awesome!”

“We deserve whatever punishment you give us.” The two foals were silent, as Twilight grinned mischievously.

“For starters, you can clean up this mess. And... What do you think, Spike? Should I give them number twenty five?” She said, grinning at her assistant.

“Oh, twenty five! Yes! And I think I deserve it, too,” Spike said, rubbing his palms together.

“Huh?” Both foals said.

“Just shut up and take your punishment,” I said wearily, sitting down.

Twilight’s horn glowed, and a mustache appeared on all three of them.

“Sweeeet!” All three of them said, and we all laughed.

I yawned, and said, “I’m gonna head back to my place now. Twilight, I think you’ve got some reportin’ to do, right?”

“Oh yes, the events of tonight will make an excellent report to send to Princess Celestia!” She said happily.

“Good. Just don’t forget to add that when you cry, you can burst eardrums.”

“Beg pardon?” Applejack asked, while Twilight blushed.

“Inside joke.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

I Need A Restraining Order!

Chapter 11:

I Need a Restraining Order!

(Takes Place 3 days after ‘Bridle Gossip’)

“Omnius, open up! Ah know yer in there!” Applejack angrily called out, pounding on my door.

“No I’m not!”

CRASH. The sound of splintering wood reached my ears.

“Uh oh,” I winced, nearly dropping the brush and cloth I was using. I looked around the corner, and saw Applejack, who had just bucked down my door (How she managed to kick down both halves at the same time, I’ll never know).

Applejack stormed into my kitchen, and glared at me angrily. I had managed to throw a thick blanket over the table I was sitting at, and I grinned nervously. “Well howdy Applejack! What brings you here?”

“You know why,” She said. “Nopony has seen you in town fer a few days, and you’ve been ignoring everypony who comes by!”

“Look, sorry, but I’ve been kinda busy lately,” I said, getting up.

“So busy that you haven’t had time fer yer friends?” Applejack said, although most of her anger disappeared when she saw how tired I must have looked. “When was the last time you got some sleep?”

I yawned and looked at the small clock that was on the wall. “Oh, maybe a couple of days ago?” I ran a hand through my hair, and chuckled. I leaned down, and started picking up empty soda bottles and cans that had accumulated on the floor.

Applejack trotted in, being careful not to step in any of the mess, and said, “Well, you at least coulda answered the door fer Fluttershy when she came by.”

“Fluttershy came by?” I frowned, and scratched my head. “When was that?”

“Yesterday.” Applejack frowned, and added, “Omni, I’m not really one ta say somethin’ like this, buy you really need to clean up yer kitchen.”

I looked around, and sighed. She was right of course. I had made a small dent by picking up all the bottles, but the counter was still littered with the debris of my last few meals, and what could be seen of the table was covered in oil and grease. I held up my hands, and saw that they were stained black and gray in some places. I glanced at the reflective surface of my toaster, and grimaced. I had bags underneath my eyes, and my hair was sticking up where my greasy hands had touched it, spiking it in odd places. There was a fine layer of sparse stubble on my cheeks, and my beard was scruffier than I would have like it to be.

“I guess I shouldn’t have touched my hair. I definitely need a shower now,” I groaned. I moved to fix a corner of the blanket I had tossed over what I was working on, but Applejack reached it before my sleep deprived body could.

“Just what in the hay are you working on?” She asked, before yanking the blanket off the table. Her eyes widened in confusion, as she took in a device with a long metal barrel, and wooden stock. “What is this?”

I sighed, and picked it up. “This is a double-barrel shotgun that’s been modified to hold six rounds instead of the normal two,” I explained, opening it to make sure it was loaded. I nodded when I saw the glistening ends of the buckshot it was loaded with.

“A what?” Applejack asked, even more confused than before.

I walked outside, and Applejack followed me. I lifted the shotgun in one arm, and aimed it at a random clump of trees.

“What are you doing?” Applejack looked from the gun to the trees.

I said nothing, and pulled the trigger. BOOM! Birds flew everywhere, startled by the sound of the shotgun’s loud report, and I winced. The kickback made my arm go numb for a second, and I wondered how Ash could do that all the time. Applejack’s jaw dropped, and she looked at the gun with apprehension.

“This is my Boomstick,” I said casually. “Now, you want to know why I’ve been so busy lately? Well, remember how that Ursa Minor was rampaging?”

Applejack nodded.

“Did you see a gray unicorn by any chance?” Please say no, please say no….

“Yeah. We’ve been meaning to ask you about that.” Oh damn it.

“Wait, ‘we’?” I asked, putting the Boomstick in its holster that I was wearing on my back.

Applejack pointed, and I turned to see that the rest of my friends were standing behind me. Fluttershy was hiding behind Rainbow Dash, and she had her hooves over her eyes and mouth. I felt a brief flash of guilt, and I went to kneel by her.

“Fluttershy?” I asked, lifting up one of her hooves. She opened one eye, and I quickly said, “It’s alright, there ain’t nothing here that’s gonna hurt you.”

As soon as I said that, a rustling sound came from some nearby bushes, and a dark blur shot out, charging straight for us. I whirled around, and kicked it, sending it flying through the air. Fluttershy let out a small ‘eep’ of fear, and I said in a calm voice, “Scratch that. Twilight, be a dear and magic that thing so that it can’t move, would you?”

The ‘thing’ in question didn’t like the sound of that, and it tried to take off into the forest. Twilight prevented that by encasing it in a purple bubble, where it made snarling noises, and threw itself violently against the walls of its prison. I pulled the Boomstick out of its holster, and eyed the bushes cautiously.

“What is that thing?” Twilight asked, almost fearfully.

Before I could answer, more rustling sounds came from the bushes, and I shouted, “You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

Three more shadows shot out of the bushes, only this time, they were aimed at Twilight. I aimed the Boomstick at the closest one, and pulled the trigger. With a loud BOOM, the creature vanished in a puff of black mist, leaving no trace of its existence. The other shadows slowed down, clearly not wanting to go out the same way.

I held up my Boomstick, and said in a low, angry tone, “Alright you shady screwheads, listen up!” I hefted the gun over my head, and said, “Ya see this? This…is my BOOMSTICK!”

The Shadows stopped, trying to assess the situation. This gave me an opportunity to get a good look at them, and I didn’t like what I saw. At first glance, they looked like small, malnourished unicorn foals, except that they had glowing yellow lights for eyes, and no mouth. Their coat shimmered, giving the impression that they really were living shadows, and they had small antennae that stood, quivering slightly, next to their horns, which had been broken off, leaving a jagged edge. They lacked a mane and tail, and the edges of their hooves were sharpened, cutting the grass whenever they moved.

“What are those…things?” Fluttershy asked in a quiet voice.

“Shadow-Stalkers,” I answered simply. “Ugh, I’m gonna need a bigger drink.”

“Is drinking your answer to everything?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Now that you mention it…” I started, right before the stalkers moved again. “Oh no you don’t!” I shot another one, but missed the others. Thankfully, they obviously hadn’t been made with much intelligence, as they charged at Applejack this time.

She whirled around, and bucked both of them as if they were just another stubborn tree. They went flying, and crashed into the side of my house, where they evaporated into the same black mist as before.

“Nice kick,” I said, digging a hand into my pocket. I pulled out a few shotgun shells, and with my other hand, popped open the Boomstick, ejecting the spent shots. Reloading the gun, I asked Twilight, “Think you can move that bubble of yours into my house? There might be more around, and I don’t want to get caught off guard.”

Twilight nodded, and Rainbow Dash said, “Pfft, they don’t look that tough! Besides, you and A.J took ‘em out like they were nothing!”

The bushes rustled some more, and I said, “I guess that means we’re about to fight a whole lot of nothing! Everyone get inside, NOW!”

We ran inside, just as ten shadow-stalkers crashed through the brush, following us. After the last pony ran in, I slammed the door, leaving myself outside.

“Omnius!” I heard Fluttershy shout, as they all looked outside of the window.

I gave them a thumbs-up, and grinned. I summoned my Traveler’s Blade to my free hand, and adjusted my grip on the Boomstick. Keeping the sword so that it pointed at the ground behind me, I aimed the Boomstick at the stalkers, and said, “Come get some.”

Three of them broke off from the main group, and charged at me. I fired both barrels, and all three of them turned to mist, and were dispelled by the wind.

I grinned, and started to leak magic into my Boomstick, empowering the next shot with magic. To buy myself some time, I started saying, “Before you attack me again, you should know, that I am the one your master fears…in his tongue, I am ‘Travel-kiin’…TRAVEL BORN!” I had no idea of what I was saying, only that I was making it up as I went along.

The stalkers all charged at me this time, and I shouted, “Fus Ro BOOMSTICK!”

The shotgun roared, and a blast of pure concussive force shot out, taking the shadow-stalkers with them. They crashed into the trees, and only three of them managed to survive the attack. “And just think about what would happen if I actually knew how to do that,” I added. “For now, you’ll just have to settle for the joke.”

I dropped the now empty Boomstick, and charged at the remaining stalkers. I swung my sword, at the first one, cutting off its head and causing it to disappear. The next one dodged my first swing, and it stabbed its broken horn into my thigh. I gasped, and the second stalker sliced its razor sharp hooves at me, leaving two bloody lines.

I slashed at the stalker that was still attached to my leg, and sliced open its neck, killing it instantly. Unfortunately, this left me open to an attack from the remaining stalker, and it leaped at my throat, ready to tear open my neck-

-when a bolt of purple light shot out, and hit the stalker right in its eye. The monster disappeared, and I let out a sigh of relief. Turning, I saw that Twilight was standing outside, her eyes wide with shock.

“I…I killed it,” She said, looking at the spot where the monster was.

I limped over to her, picking up the Boomstick from the ground, and patted her on the head. “Good shot Ace.”

“But…I killed it…”

“Twilight.” She looked at me, and I smiled. “Don’t feel bad. That was a Shadow-Stalker, a magical construct that doesn’t have feelings, or even a soul. Come on, I need to explain this to everypony.”

We walked inside, and I dismissed my Traveler’s Blade. I looked at the ponies, and said conversationally, “Want a drink? I know that I could sure use one.”

XHXHXHXHXHX

A few minutes later, we all sat around the Kitchen table (Well, I sat, the ponies stood). I poured myself a glass of Dew, and took a small sip. The ponies all had a glass of apple juice in front of them, and they left it untouched.

The Shadow-Stalker was still in its bubble, making snarling noises as it thrashed about. I glared at it, and said, “Twilight, any chance you could make that bubble soundproof?”

She nodded, as her horn glowed for a moment. The Stalker went silent, but that just made it thrash about more violently.

“So…I guess I’ll just go ahead and answer the question that you all want to know: What is that?” I said, placing my cup on the table. “That…is a shadow-stalker. They’re beings of evil that are created to serve their master, and do his will. There are several types of shadow-stalkers, each with their own unique powers and functions. However, they all lack a conscience, and do not even have a soul.”

Fluttershy raised her hoof into the air, as if this were a classroom, and asked, “But they still feel, don’t they?”

I shook my head. “Not exactly. They can only feel the emotions they were made with. Take this,” I tapped the bubble, “For example. This is a ponified version of the basic Shadow-Stalker. Right now, I like to call them Imps. Basically, they’re used as foot-soldiers, or scouts. They feel naught but anger, and have little, if any, intelligence. Weak, but very cunning, and they always appear in groups of three or more.”

I winced as I shifted in my seat. Twilight noticed for the first time that I had been wounded, and she said, “Omnius, I’m sorry, I didn’t notice that you were hurt! Would you like me to heal you?”

“If it isn’t too much trouble.”

She trotted over to me, and looked at the wounded leg. Her horn glowed, as she touched it to the poorly bandaged area, and I gasped. It felt like she had just poured ice water into my veins, and I watched in amazement, as the wounds closed instantly.

“Where’d you learn how to do that?” I asked.

“Remember that muffin epidemic?”

Pinkie and I both shuddered, as Applejack winced. “Yeah. I can’t believe those muffins did that. Good thing I was on a Danish kick that day,” I said, patting my stomach.

“Look, ah said ah was sorry!” Applejack said defensively.

“We know, we know,” I said, laughing. “Twilight, if you would continue.”

“Well when we were done helping the sick, Nurse Redheart loaned me some of her medical books, and some of them had healing spells in them.”

I nodded. “Ah. Say, how did you know that the spell would work on me in my human form?”

“Um…I didn’t?” She said, grinning sheepishly. “The book just said that the spell would close any open wounds, and…”

I facepalmed. “Well, thanks anyway Twilight. At least now you know that it works.”

The Imp threw itself against the bubble again, angry at being ignored. I glared at it, and then said, “Anymore questions about Shadow-Stalkers?”

Rarity hesitated, before asking, “How many kinds of beasts like these are there?”

“Lots. Ivy has an entire section of the Timeless Library devoted to them. That reminds me…” I reached over, and hit a button that was hidden underneath the table. “Ivy? Can you hear me alright?”

There was a brief pause, before Ivy answered, “Affirmative.”

“Good. Ivy, add another entry on Shadow-Stalkers, Imp variety.”

Another brief pause, as I felt Ivy probe through my memories, then, “Entry added. New form recorded. New attacks recorded. New weakness rec-”

“Thanks Ivy, we get it,” I interrupted. “Thank you.”

“A pleasure to serve.”

I got up from the table, and chugged the rest of my soda. “Now then, where were we?”

“Wait a second,” Applejack said suddenly. “You said somethin’ bout them having a ‘master’ right?”

I sighed, and said, “I might have mentioned it.”

“So who’s this feller’s master?”

I washed the cup silently, not sure of how to answer.

“Hey? Didn’t you hear her?” Rainbow Dash said loudly. “Who do these things work for?”

I slowly put the cup back into its place on the counter, and then stood there, not facing the ponies. Finally, I answered, “Do you remember that unicorn you all saw before, when Trixie was in town?”

They nodded, and Rarity said, “Who was he?”

“To understand that, you need to hear a story…And be forewarned,” I said in a quiet voice, all traces of humor gone. “What I’m about to tell you must never be spoken of to anypony. It must remain a secret between us. Do you promise to keep it a secret?”

They all nodded once again, and Pinkie Pie said, “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”

I grinned. “Alright…Now then, let me tell you something that is true for all realities: There are Gods, capital G, and Goddesses…”

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

Once I finished telling them the ‘Story of the Travelers’ (which can be read about in the intro) Fluttershy said, “So that unicorn was…”

“Torrentican, The Endless Traveler of Evil.” I felt my hands curl up into fists, and I added, “He’s the one who created the Shadow-Stalkers.”

“And nopony knows his real name?” Applejack asked.

“Nope. Except to the Gods and Goddesses of Evil, his real name is unknown. Heck, I don’t even know if he’s human or not,” I confessed.

“You still haven’t answered mah other question!”

“Which was?”

“Why have you been cooped up in here?”

I pulled out my Boomstick, and started absently cleaning it, saying, “When I went to Zecora’s place, after we had gotten the Poison Joke cure, I saw Shadow-Stalker tracks. They were too big for Imps, so I figured that Torrentican must have started placing them in strategic places around town.” I tightened the strap on the holster, and added, “I’m getting ready to go into the forest and try and find them.”

“What are you gonna do when you find ‘em?” Applejack asked.

I slid the Boomstick into my holster, and summoned my Traveler’s Blade. “Get rid of ‘em.”

“Well, we better hurry if we want to find them,” Twilight said, right before she teleported out of my house. A moment later, she reappeared carrying a set of purple saddlebags on her back.

“What’s this ‘we’ stuff Kemosabe?” I asked, shifting the blade onto my shoulders.

“Well we ain’t just gonna let you wander off into the forest by yourself!” Applejack said, grinning. “Twi, would you mind grabbing mah bags too? They’re next to mah bed at the farm.”

“Not a problem,” Twilight said, teleporting again.

“Oh no! Y’all ain’t coming with me, this is something I gotta do myself,” I tried to argue.

“No it’s not!” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing up to me. “We’re friends right? And friends help each other, so we’re going with you whether you like it or not! Oooh! I should pack snacks!”

With that, she ran off screen, returning a few seconds later with her bags fully packed.

“Pinkie, how did you do that?” Rarity asked, a look of weary confusion on her face.

“I ran, silly,” Pinkie giggled.

I looked at Rarity and shrugged. “Hey, it’s Pinkie Pie. I’ve learned not to ask by now.”

Rarity agreed with me, saying, “Yes, I suppose you’re right.”

I looked at my Blade, and frowned. “I’m gonna shift into Unicorn form real quick. I don’t want to scare Zecora when we go and see her.”

“We’re going to Zecora’s?” Fluttershy asked softly.

After I had shifted, I levitated the Blade with my magic, and swung it experimentally. It made a slight whistling sound as it slashed through the air, and I nodded in satisfaction. “Glad to see I can still use this. And to answer your question, yes, we’re going to Zecora’s first. She might have seen something that could point us in the right direction.”

“Oh,” Fluttershy responded.

Twilight chose that moment to return, struggling to hold up Applejack’s heavy bags. “What’s-oof- in these?” She gasped out, dropping them to the floor.

Applejack tossed the bags over her shoulders, and said, “Oh, just some essentials.”

“Is everypony ready now?” I asked impatiently.

“So you’re letting us come with you then?” Applejack said smugly.

“Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled. “Y’all are too stubborn, and I’m too impatient to wait around and argue with you. So let’s go!”

XHXHXHXHXHX

After Twilight finished grabbing everypony’s bags (and after I had given her a shot of soda to perk her up –she liked it by the way) we marched into the forest towards Zecora’s hut. As we walked, I made sure to examine the forest floor, searching for any sign of the shadow-stalkers.

“Omnius?” Fluttershy asked shyly.

I looked up from the ground, and smiled at Fluttershy. “What’s up?”

“Well, you said that Torrentican can make more of those monsters, so what’s to stop him from making more once we get rid of the ones that are already here?”

I grinned. “Good question Fluttershy. Remember that stalker I had Twilight put into a bubble?”

“Yes?” She said it as if it were more a question than an answer.

“Do you remember how it suddenly vanished after a few minutes?”

Pinkie giggled, and added, “I bet the viewers were really confused and thought that we had just forgotten about it!”

I laughed with her as everypony gave us a weird look. “What are you talking about?” Rarity asked.

I waved her off, and reduced the laughing to a small chuckle. “Nothing you would get. Oh, my past self is gonna hate me for this!”

This made all of the ponies gathered, even Pinkie, more confused. “What do you mean, ‘Past self’?” Rarity asked.

I clamped a hoof over my mouth, cursing myself for the slip of the tongue. “Oops. Um, how do I explain this…Well, I explained how in other worlds, this might be a book, or an opera, correct? Well, uh…” I tried to come up with a better way of saying it, but all I could come up with was, “My past self is seeing all of this in a vision.”

“Right, you did mention how you can see visions of your future on other worlds!” Twilight said, her inner scientist taking control. “Does this mean that you’ve already seen everything that’s going to happen here?”

“Erm, yeah, but I kinda, had to, you know, um, wipe my memory clean so that I wouldn’t try to alter the future,” I said, stammering slightly.

“Hmm, that would make sense! You said yourself that we would forget seeing you in your human form if it would alter the story too much…Is this another form of that?” Twilight asked.

“Yep. Hey look, it’s Zecora’s place!” I said, glad that the interrogation was over. “Let’s go!”

XHXHXHXH

STOP THAT SCREEN WIPE!!!

“Oops, almost forgot,” I said, smacking my head again. “When nopony was looking, I warped the Imp into the stable, where it’ll be fully analyzed and then destroyed.”

“But what about Torrentican? Can’t he just make more once we get rid of the others?” Rainbow Dash asked, still confused.

“He can only create a certain amount at a certain time. Since a Goddess of Good is in charge of the night, the time when he can make shadow-stalkers, that means that he has to wait until it’s a new moon, and even then, he can only choke out a few at a time,” I explained.

“So…how many can he make right now?” Rainbow scratched her head as she considered what I just said.

I did some mental calculations, and answered, “I’d wager that he could pump out forty-five imps at a time, but since it looks like he went ahead and made bigger ones, then…I can’t say.”

“You mean you don’t have any idea?”

“Sorry, but it’s kind of hard to predict what he’s thinking. It’s part of what makes him so dangerous. You’ll never be able to predict his next attack, because he can predict what you think he thinks!”

“…That doesn’t make any sense,” Rainbow said simply.

“Join the club.”

Okay screen wipe, you can come out now!

XHXHXHXHX

I knocked on the door of Zecora’s hut, and called out, “Zecora? I need to talk to you about something real quick!”

The door opened to reveal a surprised looking zebra with turquoise, almond shaped eyes, wearing several golden bands around her neck and forelegs. The zebra smiled, and said in a sing-song chant, “Hello Omnius, it is good to see you. I believe I could spare a word or two.”

I couldn’t help but grin. The fact that Zecora could rhyme whenever she spoke was just plain awesome to me. I don’t know why, but come on! It’s a rhyming zebra that can brew up anything from Poison Joke cures, to a hair growth potion that would put Rogaine to shame.

“Good to see you too,” I replied. “Listen, you haven’t seen anything unusual around here lately, have you?” I asked, getting straight to the point. We had no time to waste, and I wanted to make sure that the Shadow-Stalkers wouldn’t do anything.

Zecora thought for a moment, and said, “A lot of strange things I have seen, but what exactly do you mean?”

Tee-hee. Rhyming. Sorry, I’ll stay focused!

“Well, have you seen any tracks that don’t match anything you’ve ever seen?” I said, trying to think of a way to ask it. “Or maybe anything that sounds like it’s pissed and out for blood?”

The herbalist tilted her head, and said, “There is something that matches that you see, but I don’t know what it could be!”

“Where did you see it?” I asked, absently adjusting the holster on my back. I had already figured out how to use magic to fire my Boomstick, but it was the only gun I could currently use, as the Armory (the weapons section of The Vault) was currently under its monthly maintenance.

Zecora’s eyes narrowed, and she said, “There is more to them than meets the eyes…You should avoid them, if you are wise.”

I sighed, and said, “You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve heard something like that. Don’t worry Z, I know what I’m doing.” My eyes hardened, and I said in a voice like steel, “These monsters need to be stopped before they can hurt anypony. If you know anything that could help us find them, you have to tell us. Please.”

Zecora looked at me, and after a long moment, nodded. “You’re telling the truth, of that I can tell, so heed my words, and listen well!”

She pointed down the path, and told us how a few nights ago she had seen some strange paw prints in the dirt. Zecora led us to the tracks in question, and even though it had been a few nights, the imprint was still easily seen in the undisturbed path.

I bent over, and put my hoof in the center of the catlike print. My hoof was just big enough to fit inside the center of the imprint, and I nodded, unsurprised. I turned to Zecora, and asked, “Did you hear something that sounded like a cat screeching, or something?”

She raised her eyebrow, and said, “I do recall hearing that sound, and it reminded me of evil unbound!”

I winced. I was afraid of that. “Alright, that’s all I needed to know. You shouldn’t have to worry about these things for a while now. Thanks for your help Zecora.”

“It was no trouble to help you my friend,” She answered, smiling. “I just hope that these creatures will meet their end.”

“You and me both sister,” I answered. Zecora left, and when she was out of earshot, I turned to the others, and said, “Alright, I have a better idea of what we’re up against.” I levitated a swath of hair that had been caught on some nearby branches, and held it out to Applejack. She touched it with her hoof, and shivered.

“Why is that thing so dern cold?” She asked.

“If I’m right, then this is the hair of an Ice Leopard Shadow-Stalker.” I passed the hair around, and they all touched it, each of them shivering from the chill they felt. “Maybe a bit smaller than a manticore, but what they lack in size, they more than make up for with their fangs and claws.”

I levitated the hair back to me, and with a quick thought, incinerated it in a small orb of light.

“Why do you call them ‘Ice Leopards’?” Twilight asked, deciding not to ask why I just burned our only piece of evidence that proved that Shadow-Stalkers were in the area.

“Because instead of normal bones, they have heavily condensed pieces of ice. That’s why you have to watch out for their claws and teeth. If they manage to scratch you, there’s a good chance that your blood will freeze from their sheer coldness.” Note to self: Find better way of describing it. “They have the appearance of black leopards, with some noticeable differences, like a small mane made of frost, they don’t have tails, and they always work in pairs, along with a few underlings.”

I walked deeper into the woods, and kept talking as I walked. “They prefer to try and go in for sneak attacks, so keep up your guard. They hate bright light, and heat, but a good buck to their face will do just fine as well. If you can take out their eyes, you’ll instantly get rid of them, but it’s pretty bucking hard to do.”

“Why’s that?” Rainbow Dash asked, hovering in the air, and looking around too.

“Two reasons,” I said, levitating my blade in front of me, and swinging it as an improvised machete. “One is that Ice Leopards are actually pretty smart. They know how to use the environment to their advantage, and are capable of giving out basic commands to lesser Shadow-Stalkers. Two, they can breathe ice.”

“Breathe ice?” Applejack asked, confused. “You mean like freeze breath or somethin’?”

“Yep.”

We kept going through the forest, searching for any sign of a shadow-stalker, until it eventually started to get dark.

“Maybe we should head back,” Fluttershy suggested quietly, her eyes darting around rapidly. “I mean, we’re not going to be able to see them like this, right?”

I stopped suddenly, and the ponies walked into me, not expecting me to stop like that. “You’re absolutely right,” I said, feeling like an idiot. I pulled out my Boomstick, and aimed it at the sky.

“Omnius, what are you do-”

BOOM!

Everypony winced at the loud sound that the Boomstick made, and I grinned crazily. “That should get their attention.”

“ARE YOU CRAZY!?” Twilight yelled at me.

“A little. Why?”

“You just alerted everything within a five mile radius of where we are!” She shouted angrily, while I grinned all the while.

“That’s the point my dear bookworm,” I said, looking around. I blinked when I saw my breath come out in a puff of steam, and added, “Looks like it worked. Get your game face on ponies!”

There was an ear piercing shriek, and a shimmering blue blur shot out of the trees above me, and attempted to sink its claws into my neck. I aimed the Boomstick at the blur, and right before it landed on me, shot it in the face. The buckshot tore apart its face, and it disappeared in a spray of mist. I whirled around, and spotted a few Imps charging towards the others.

“Girls, behind you!” I shouted.

Applejack went into action, bucking at the creatures, while Rainbow Dash dive-bombed them, stomping on their heads with her hooves, dazing them so that A.J could take them out easier. Twilight and Rarity stood off a little ways away, magically hurling rocks, and whatever else they could grab, at the shadow-stalkers, taking them out. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy both darted around, getting the stalkers’ attention, and they drew them into the unicorns’ line of fire, doing an excellent job of being live bait.

I grinned with satisfaction as I watched them fight. They may not have been used to the idea of violence, but they sure knew how to work together to get thing taken care of.

A sudden raking pain across my back snapped me out of my thoughts, and I cursed myself for not paying attention. With a snarl, I turned to see that the remaining Ice Leopard had already escaped into the trees, and was getting ready for another attack.

“Okay, so that’s the way you want to play,” I grumbled, aiming my Boomstick at the trees. The monster leaped out of the trees, and pounced at me, knocking away the gun with a swipe of its paws.

“…Not fair!” I shouted, ducking another swipe. I summoned my blade, and started to go on the offensive, slashing at the monster. I lunged at it, and got ready to bring my sword down on it-

-when with a feral smile, it opened its mouth, and encased my blade in a block of ice. The sword fell to the ground, and I quickly jumped back.

“Why can’t I lift my sword with my magic?” I yelled, as the Ice Leopard clawed at my foreleg, leaving a long thin scratch that was lined with frost. I could only imagine my back looking almost exactly like that, and I gulped.

I charged a light orb, and flung it at the shadow-stalker. The stalker nimbly jumped to the side, cleanly avoiding it, and it pounced at me again. I rolled away, and the stalker jumped into the trees, quickly disappearing from view.

“Alright, that’s it,” I finally shouted. “No more Mr. Nice Pony!”

I closed my eyes, and started to summon an Aura. Just before I could bring it up, the Ice Leopard pounced at me, breaking my concentration.

“SON OF A BITCH!” I swore, avoiding another attack. My sleep deprived mind wasn’t making things easier, and the pain from the wounds on my back were distracting me as well. I tried lifting my sword in my teeth, only to be rewarded with a stinging pain on my tongue. “TOO COLD!”

Okay, think for a second here Omnius! You can’t use your Blade because of that ice (my mind finally remembered that the ice was somehow enchanted to thwart all forms of levitation magic…thanks for letting me know now, brain, instead of earlier, when it was useful!), and you can’t focus enough to bring up an Aura…wait, maybe I can.

I leaped to the side, running from the Ice Leopard, and called out, “APPLEJACK! I NEED YOUR HELP WITH SOMETHING!”

The farmpony looked up from where she had just kicked an Imp, and her eyes widened when she saw me. She quickly ran over to me, and stood her ground, snorting at the Ice Leopard.

“Having some trouble there pardner?” She asked, never taking her eyes off the creature.

“A little. Hey, A.J, are there any matches inside of your bags?” I asked, standing by her. The Ice Leopard stood a little ways away, its eyes narrowed as it watched us.

“Yeah, but I don’ think that a small little match ain’t gonna do much against that varmint,” She replied.

“Which bag?”

“The one next to you. Omnius, what are you thinking?”

I didn’t answer, but instead used my magic to rifle through her bag, until I came up with a small box of matches. I gleefully took on out, and lit it, the small flame eliciting a hiss from the shadow-stalker.

“What are you doing?” A.J asked, looking at me now. I grinned, and then used the already flaming match to light the rest of them, creating a small fireball. With a slight wince at what I was about to do, I pressed the fireball against the wounds on my back, and grit my teeth against the sudden pain.

Okay, now comes the fun part…focus on that pain…

I felt an intense burning on my back, and even though the flame stayed there, I felt the burn start to pour through the rest of my tired body.

Focus on the burning…

A fire lit inside of my chest, and it made me howl, the pressure of it building slowly, until I couldn’t hold it anymore.

UNLEASH!

I roared in both pain and defiance, and summoned my Blazing Aura. Small fires erupted around my hooves, and my beard erupted into small flames, dancing in a gleeful blaze. The air around me got considerably warmer, and my mane and tail both erupted into flames, while I let out a mad grin.

“Omnius?” Applejack asked, looking at me in surprise. “What in tarnation happened to ya?”

I snorted, and small puffs of smoke came out of my nose. I reared back, and said, “I. AM. ON. FIIIIIIRRRREEE!”

I stomped my front hooves on the ground, and charged at the stalker, small patches of flame flaring up whenever my hooves touched the grass, leaving a small trail of scorch marks. The Ice Leopard knew what was coming, and it rushed out to meet me, howling all the while. It leaped into the air, and lunged at me, claws extended, and I felt the tip of my horn glow white hot. A beam of fire shot out of it, and hit the stalker on the chest, igniting it. The leopard rolled in mid-air, thrown by the force of the fire, and somehow managed to land on its feet, glaring at me all the while.

It stuck out its tongue, and frantically licked the burns, ice replacing the patches of burnt fur. I smirked, and said, “Get out of the kitchen.”

The stalker and I circled each other, and before I could react, the Ice Leopard ran at me, and slashed at my face. I stepped back, and let instinct take control. I lobbed a fireball at it, and it dodged, countering with a quick puff of ice. I simply stuck out my chin, and let my flaming beard take the blow, easily melting the ice and creating a cloud of steam.  The stalker hissed, and sent more puffs of ice my way. I quickly hit each puff with a small burst of fire, and I wondered what the stalker was up to.

I suddenly had to resist the urge to smack myself. The Ice Leopard had created a large mist that encompassed the both of us, and I could barely see two steps in front of me. I took a tentative step forward, and nearly tripped. I looked down, and grinned. My sword was laying on the ground in front of me, and with a quick tap from my hooves, I melted the ice that encompassed it.

An orange aura encompassed the sword as I lifted it off the ground, and slashed it through the fog. There was an angry hiss, and I called out, “Pinkie!”

I heard her voice respond, “Yeah?”

“Do you happen to have a record player with you?”

I heard the sound of a bunch of things falling onto the ground, and then- “Yep!”

“You still have that record I lent you the other day?”

“You mean the one with The Trammps?”

“That’s it. Play it.”

There was a short scratching sound, and then suddenly, disco music started to play. I grinned manically, and shouted at the stalker, “This here is a personal favorite that goes out to all the fire users out there…

The cat howled in anger, and charged at me, its claws raking against my side. I took the blow, and stabbed it with my blade in retaliation. As I stabbed it, I started singing, “Burn, baby, burn, Disco inferno!”

With a final howl of pain, the Ice Leopard disappeared, having taken too much damage for it to have survived. I turned my gaze to the rest of the imps, and…felt my jaw drop. The girls had already taken care of all of them, and I was the last to take care of my cat problem.

I blinked, and said, “Wow. For a race of supposedly non-violent ponies, you girls sure know how to kick some serious flank.”

They laughed (well, everypony but Fluttershy, who just looked a little nervous) and I dismissed my sword, and picked up the Boomstick. Pinkie turned off the record player, and then shoved it back into her saddlebags (How does she blatantly ignore the laws of physics, and why doesn’t it bother me?).

“Aren’t ya gonna get rid of that, uh, Aura thingie too?” Applejack asked, beads of sweat on her face.

I shook my head, and said, “Not until we get back to my place. We might have gotten rid of the stalkers, but I still have those scratches that the cats gave me. My heat will keep them from getting any worse, and by the time we get back, they should be completely gone.” Well, the frost part at least. The scratches themselves would still be there, and my back would still be a mess of burned skin.

“Let’s go back,” I said, smiling.

We walked through the forest, my flames lighting the way.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

We made it as far as Fluttershy’s cottage, before I felt my strength start rapidly draining. I started swaying, and I had to drop the Aura before I passed out. I swayed on my hooves, the world spinning, and I grunted as I fell to the ground.

“Omnius!” Fluttershy yelped, flying over to me. She looked at my back, and said in a small, yet fierce, voice, “Why didn’t you tell anypony about these?”

“Is there something on my back?” I said meekly, not fooling anypony. “I’m fine thought. I should be able to make it back to my house at least, and then I can put on some of that burn ointment I paid Zecora ma-” I clamped my hooves over my mouth, cursing my stupidity.

“You had Zecora make you burn medicine?” Twilight asked, tilting her head.

I grimaced, but then nodded. “Yeah.”

“How did you get the bits to pay fer it?” Applejack asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Oh, I, um, just had some spare bits…”

“For that matter, how did ya manage to pay for the furniture in your house?” She continued.

“Drop it please,” I said, shifting nervously on the ground.

Luckily, I was saved from having to answer any questions by Fluttershy, who said, “Girls! Now isn’t the time to bother him! He’s hurt.” She flew over to me, and she wedged herself underneath my arm, helping me up. I leaned on her, and she led me to her cottage, saying, “You can stay at my house tonight. Goodnight girls!”

The others said their goodbyes, and I added, “Hey…um, thanks for the help. I couldn’t have done it without you girls. Thanks.”

Rainbow Dash shrugged, and said, “Nah, it was nothing! Besides, did you SEE me take out those imps? BAM!” She went on, flying off, not really noticing that I wasn’t paying attention.

Fluttershy opened her door, and led me to her couch, where I collapsed on it gratefully.

“Thanks Shy,” I said, unable to turn my head without my back flaring in pain. She smiled softly, and flew into her kitchen, where she started to rifle through random cupboards, looking for something.

I looked over the arm of the couch, and saw a small fluffy white rabbit. “Hi Angel Bunny,” I said simply.

The bunny grinned, and then hopped onto my head, making himself comfortable. I let out a sigh, and said, “I’ll never understand why Fluttershy named you Angel Bunny, when something like, oh, I dunno, Punk, or Bugs, would have fit you more.”

Angel stomped his foot onto my head, telling me to shut up, and he arranged my hair into a comfortable pillow. He settled down, satisfied, and just sat there, simply not giving a fuck.

Needless to say, me and the bunny got along surprisingly well. Both of us were protective of the ones we cared about, we liked the occasional troll, and come on! He’s a violent, sadistic, loving bunny! What’s not to like about that? He’s the kid friendly version of the Demon Rabbit from Monty Python!

“Good day then?” I asked him conversationally, as I felt him put his arms behind his head as he reclined on my hair.

He nodded, and I felt him draw an arrow with his foot that pointed to my back.

“Got in a tussle. Monsters that wanted to hurt the others. We won though.”

Angel nodded, and then drew another arrow in the direction of Fluttershy.

“She held herself surprisingly well. She got some of the monsters closer to the others, so they could be whammied by Twilight or Rarity.”

I could feel the disbelief that emanated off of him, as he redrew the arrow.

“Yeah. She was pretty brave. She’s letting me stay here so my back can heal. You know, she reminds me of my girl, Jenna.”

Confusion. He drew a question mark on my head, and I chuckled slightly. “What? Just because I can live forever, it doesn’t mean that I’ve never fallen in love…Gods and Goddesses, I miss Jenna…”

“Who’s Jenna?” I heard Fluttershy ask, holding a towel with a bowl of some sort of green ice in it.

“Oh, Fluttershy, I um…” I stammered, and then decided, Fuck it. I can tell her at least.

“She was my…girlfriend, I guess you could say. Kind of like you actually,” I chuckled. “Kind, gentle, and quiet. She was a healer, a white mage, for lack of a better word. She had soft red hair like a sunset, and sea-green eyes that could ease your pain just by looking at them.” I sighed, her image returning to my mind full force. “She always tried to help others, and she never had a bad thing to say about anyone. She could see the light in a black hole.”

“She sounds nice,” Fluttershy said, packing the ice into the towel. She lowered it onto my back, and I stifled a gasp. “Oh my, I’m sorry, I should have told you before I-”

I waved her apology off, and said, “No worries Shy. I know that you know what you’re doing. I trust you.”

She smiled, and put another ice pack onto my back. “Where is she now?”

“She’s dead. Has been for a small while now,” I tied to say casually. “I tried to bring her back to life, but we both realized that it wasn’t right. I mean, if I could decide when people could live and die, that would make me a God, and that’s not what I am. She helped me realize that…So now she’s resting in heaven, and I’m still alive and kicking…” I sniffed, and Angel actually patted my head comfortingly. “I miss her.” I stated simply.

Angel shifted uncomfortably, and I pushed a clump of my hair up a little. “Better?”

He nodded, and relaxed again.

“Don’t mention it.”

Fluttershy sniffed, and said, “Oh dear, I’m sorry that I asked, it can’t be easy to deal with something like that…”

I let out a wry grin, and said, “Naw, I don’t mind. It helps actually. Helps me remember her…” I trailed off, falling silent as I lost myself in my memories.

“What did she like to do?” Fluttershy asked.

“She loved singing. She had this haunting voice that just called out to you, and I swear, even the birds would stop and listen when she sang. She liked to take long walks on the beach, especially during the sunset,” I answered.  “She was so beautiful when she did that…The sun would caress her hair gently, transforming her hair into strands of golden light, and the waves would gently grasp her, as if the ocean itself wanted her to claim it as her own…But instead, she claimed me. The bumbling, smart-aleck, Eternal Traveler of Good.”

I felt the pain in my back start to lessen, and I asked, “What was in them ice cubes? It’s working great!”

“Oh, Zecora gave me some herbs to help me treat some animals.”

“Ah. She sure knows her plants, huh?”

We were both silent for a long moment, and the only sound that could be heard was the soft snores of Angel, as he slept in my mane.

“How did she…”

“Die?” I finished. She blushed, but nodded slightly. “Don’t be afraid to ask me Fluttershy. If there’s anything you want to know, or just want to ask me, go ahead and ask.” I took a deep breath. “It was actually during the adventure I had before I came to this world…My friend’s girlfriend had been kidnapped by a guy named The Lord of The Land. Or at least, what remained of him. Anyways, Jenna and I volunteered to go with Gordon on a rescue mission, and try and save her…We made it to his castle…fought past all of his minions…saved Shizukana, the damsel in distress, and met The Lord of the Land in one final, all-or-nothing battle.”

I felt tears brim in my eyes, as I remembered…

“What happened next?” Fluttershy asked.

“…I fought him in a sword fight, and lost. Just as he was about to deal the final blow, Jenna used her magic to call up a shield to protect me. Since he couldn’t get through it…He killed Jenna.”

I shook my head, tears flowing now, and continued in a low, husky voice. “I lost control, and unleashed my Dark Aura. One of the most powerful Auras I have, and the most uncontrollable. I beat The Lord of the Land, and my friends then had to beat the hell out of me, just to make sure I didn’t go on a rampage and destroy that world. They won, barely, and I destroyed the Dark Aura.”

Fluttershy gulped, and said, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you, it was wrong of me to…”

I grabbed her hoof, and held it for a moment. “Don’t worry. It actually feels better to finally tell somepony that. Thanks.” She smiled softly, and then yawned.

“What time is it?” I looked at a clock, and whistled. “Wow. One in the morning…You should get to sleep Shy.”

She nodded, and then she gently gave me a pillow, saying, “You should probably stay on the couch…I mean, it would be bad if you reopened the scratches on your back…”

I nodded, and accepted the pillow gratefully. She then gently pulled a blanket over me, and tucked me in. I felt like a little kid, and almost wanted to protest, but then decided that it wasn’t worth it. She was just doing her best to make me comfortable.

She put a small blanket over Angel, who instantly wrapped himself in it, and fluffed up a small patch of my hair, making himself comfortable.

“This is gonna be awkward if I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night,” I mumbled. Angel tapped me on the side of the head, and I added, “I know, I know, shut up and let you sleep. Got it.”

He nodded, and went back to sleep. I looked at Fluttershy, and said, “Thanks Fluttershy…I’ll see you in the morning then…”

“Goodnight Sean…”

“Night Fluttershy.”

With that, I closed my eyes, and let sleep overtake me for the first time in almost four days…

Pinkie Senses...TINGLING!

Chapter 12:

Pinkie Senses…TINGLING!

(Takes place during ‘Feeling Pinkie Keen’)

With a groan of effort, I turned the final crank on the wheel of my ‘project’ that I had been tinkering with for the past few weeks. The ropes that were attached to it tightened, and it took all of my strength to give it that last push. Once I heard the ‘click’ that signified it locking into position, I stumbled backwards, and looked at the final results.

“Took me a little bit,” I said to myself. “But hey, I finally finished it.” I took off my sweat-soaked bandana, and stuffed it into my pocket, and then pulled a small, beat-up looking pocket notebook from my shirt pocket. Clicking the top of my pen, I started to frantically write in it, recording that I had finished my recreation, and was planning on testing it as soon as possible, to see if I had gotten it right.

I closed the book as soon as I had finished writing in it, and stuffed it back into my shirt. Looking at my project, I nodded, and said, “Yep. This calls for a fine glass…of champagne…” Only I pronounced it, sham-panya, just because I could.

I popped open a bottle of Code Red, and guzzled it, letting the cold drink cool my slightly tired body. It had taken a lot of effort to push the huge contraption outside of my basement, and even more to make sure that everything on it was still in place and prepared for its maiden voyage.

“I still can’t believe…I finally built a freaking CATAPULT!” I yelled, tossing the bottle inside of a trash can.

Indeed, the catapult was one of the biggest things I had built, and I had made sure that I used only medieval materials in its construction (but used modernized tools). Currently, the arm of the catapult was pulled back, ready to launch anything that would be placed into it, and fling it across a vast distance…and of course, the first thing it was going to launch, was moi.

“Why do I always have to test out these things?” I asked myself jokingly. “Is it because I can’t die? Or is it because I’m too dumb to hire a test dummy? No, wait, it’s because I’m an idiot.”

I shrugged, and shifted into Pegasus form. From what I’ve seen of Rainbow Dash’s practice sessions, it was gonna be my best bet for making it through this little test without any serious injury. Pegasi might seem fragile, but they can take a surprising amount of falling damage. Maybe they maxed out their agility or something, I don’t know.

I climbed into the firing mechanism, and clenched a throwing dagger in my mouth, being careful not to slice open my tongue on it. Once I was settled comfortably, I picked up the dagger in my hoof, and aimed it at the rope I had tied off to the side. The rope was stretched tightly, and it would take only the slightest bit of slicing to release that tension, and thus propel me through the air.

Before I tossed the dagger, I musingly thought to myself, “You know, I’ve heard that some people have normal hobbies, like gardening or painting, but me? I like to build random contraptions, write, and play a harmonica, just to list a few…maybe I’ll ask Zecora if she has any azalea seeds after this.”

I shrugged, and tossed the dagger through the air, where it hit the edge of the rope…with the hilt. “Dammit,” I cursed good-naturedly. I picked up a spare knife that I had brought just for such an occasion, and tossed it, where it just missed the rope entirely.

“Dammit.”

I flew out, awkwardly turning from side to side in the air (I was still trying to master the art of flying in pony form), and landed next to the fallen knife. Picking it up, I flew back over to the cup shaped part of the catapult (I forget what those are called), and aimed at the rope again. “Third time’s the charm,” I muttered, before I sent the dagger flying through the air.

SLICE! I looked over in a random direction, and said, “Remember kids, don’t try this at home. I’m what you call, a certifiable loony.”

No longer restrained by the rope, the arm of the catapult snapped forward, and I was sent flying through the air.

“LOOK’S LIKE TEAM TRAVELER IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!” I shouted, as I flew through the air, my eyes watering violently.

I looked down, and saw that Ponyville had turned into an unidentifiable, color filled blur, as I swooped over it. Adrenaline coursed through me, and my heart beat like a jackhammer. The wind rushed through my mane, and there was every possibility that I was going to crash into something that would probably break a few important bones in my body.

Rollercoaster’s can suck it.

I sailed through the air, catching the wind in my wings, and then realized: The library was getting uncomfortably closer. So I guess that I’m just gonna have to do what I always do in a situation like this:

“I REGRET NOTHING!” I yelled, bracing myself for impact. Just as I was about to crash, a giant pillow was tossed in front of me, and I crashed into it, instead of the wall I was headed for. I made an “OOF!” sound, and then fell onto the ground, as stars flew around me.

Okay, again with the stars! Screw it, this time I’m grabbing one! I reached out with a hoof, snatched one of the stars, and shoved into my pocket. Wait a second, did I just grab a star? Moreover, a star that had just been flying around my head a few seconds ago? Instead of questioning this, for now, I choose to never mention to Rainbow Dash that I may have found a way for her to go faster. She’d be all over that faster than lightning bolt on an unsuspecting Traveler.

I picked myself up, and saw that Twilight and Pinkie Pie were both standing over me, Twilight with a look of disbelief on her face, and Pinkie Pie with a large smile on hers.

“Um, sorry to drop in?” I said meekly, looking at both of them. “Thanks for the pillow Twi.”

“That wasn’t me, that was Pinkie Pie,” She said almost angrily.

“Really? Well thanks Pinkie. How’d you know I was gonna crash?” I asked, flapping my wings a few times.

“My tail twitched! That means that something is gonna fall!” She answered cheerfully, her smile getting even bigger.

“Really?” I said, looking at her. “That’s pretty cool. So you have, like a Pinkie sense thing?”

“Mm-hmm,” Pinkie said, nodding happily.

“Oh, please tell me that you don’t believe this too, Omnius!” Twilight groaned in exasperation, looking at me desperately.

“Why shouldn’t I?” I said, confused. “I mean, I’m the Eternal Traveler of Good, I’ve met Good guys, Bad guys, and ugly guys, I’ve been in a lightsaber duel with freaking YODA, and I learned magic from Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden!”

“Who?”

“Chicago’s only professional Wizard,” I said simply. At the still confused looks on their faces, I added, “City on another world. It’s another story for another day.”

Twilight just shook her head, and Pinkie giggled. “Okay, but you’re going to have to tell us about it soon!”

“I’ll try,” I promised. I started scratching my beard, and added, “Anyways, why do you find it so hard to believe, Twilight?”

“For one thing, it’s unexplainable!”

“So are half the things I do,” I countered.

“No, they actually have a logical explanation hidden behind them!” Twilight shouted, as all three of us walked into the library. “Now if you excuse me, I have to go set up my equipment!” She added, storming off into her basement.

“Equipment?” I asked carefully. “What are you up to Sparkle?”

“Twilight doesn’t understand my Pinkie Sense,” Pinkie said, shrugging. “So she asked me if she could run some tests on me.”

“Really?” I said, slightly worried. I’d been the victim of Twilight’s experiments once before, and it didn’t work out too well. Look, it’s a long story, and I don’t feel like going into it right now.

“Yep! But I’m sure it won’t be like what happened with you and that static cling remo-”

“We agreed to never mention that again,” I interrupted in a deadpan tone.

Pinkie giggled, and said, “Oopsie! Sorry, Omni. I forgot!”

I sighed, and said, “Oh, it’s fine. Anyways, so what’s with your Pinkie Sense? Can you just tell when things are gonna fall?”

After I said that, Pinkie went on one of her by now famous rambles, only this time, I paid attention to what she was saying. From what I can gather, whenever a certain part of her body twitches, or whenever it twitches in a certain sequence (i.e, eye flutter, floppy ears, itchy knee), then she can use those to sense what is about to happen.

Or, to dumb it down: Whenever she twitches, shit’s about to happen.

As soon as she stopped talking, I nodded in understanding. “Different twitches mean different things. Okay, so what is it when stuff is about to fall?”

“Twitchy tail!” She said, waving her tail in front of my face for emphasis.

I resisted the urge to sneeze, and repeated, “Twitchy tail means falling...Okay, that’s pretty cool!” I started laughing, and added, “It must be really weird when you see a meteor shower though.”

“Why would it be weird?” She said, tilting her head.

“Well since it’s basically just a bunch of rocks falling from the sky, wouldn’t that make your tail twitch like crazy?” I pointed out.

“Nope, that hasn’t ever happened!”

“Really? Weird. But again, I gotta say that that is pretty cool.”

At this time, Twilight burst out of her door, and said, “Aha! It’s ready for you now! Omnius, would you like to see this mystery explained once and for all?”

Urge to snark, rising! Firmly suppressing my smart-ass instincts, I instead politely said, “If it is no trouble to you…”

“Good!” With that, Twilight turned, and walked back down, with me and Pinkie in tow.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Okay, before we go on, I just want to rant for a second. Don’t worry, it won’t be too long, it’s just something that I wanted to point out.

Alright, a couple of things: First, they don’t have T.V. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s still something I felt like pointing out. Next, they don’t have any type of automobile. Now, keep all this in mind when I add in the fact that I haven’t seen very many instances of high technology. Sure, I’ve seen some bitchin’ stereos (which I proceeded to buy) and some pretty stellar pieces of photographic equipment.

So, with all of that still fresh in your head, let me ask you something: Why, in the name of all that is Good, does Twilight’s lab look like something out of a Star Trek movie?! No, really! She still had a small bookshelf off to the side that was crammed with all sorts of scientific textbooks, but there were also counters that were loaded with strange looking potions and mixtures, and a set of high-tech scanners/analyzer thingies that were set against a wall. Dude, she even had one of those weird pillars with steel rings around it!

WHY?

Rant over. Sorry to bug you with that, I just wanted to get it out of my system. It doesn’t matter anyways, but still. Someone had to rant about it at some point. Now, on with the actual story, hm?

I stood off to the side, and watched as Twilight put a weird helmet onto Pinkie’s head, and then connected a few wires onto it. To be honest, it looked like someone had just gotten one of them cooking pots with all the holes in it (again, I need to figure out what those are called) and super glued a bunch of Christmas lights onto it.

My attention span suddenly winked out of existence, and I decided to look around. I spied a set of levers off to the side, and let out a low whistle. Twilight looked at me, and I asked, “Hey, Twi, what does this lever do?”

She grinned, and said, “Why don’t you see for yourself?”

I shrugged, and put my hoof on the lever closest to me. Suddenly smiling, I said in a loud dramatic voice, “Pull the lever, Kronk!”

With a quick tug, the lever came down, and a small trapdoor opened underneath me. I quickly unfurled my wings, and flew over to the side, avoiding the pitfall...WRONG. LEVER. I looked at Twilight, who was currently engrossed in the roll of paper that was flying out of a console, and said indignantly, “Hey, what’s the big idea?”

Twilight ignored me, and let out an exasperated sound. “Pinkie, did you feel any twitches when that happened?”

“Nope-erooski!” She replied in her always cheerful manner.

“But why? Your tail should have twitched since he fell!” Twilight said triumphantly. “That means that your Pinkie Sense is-“

“Still possible of happening,” I interrupted, a little miffed at being ignored, “because I technically didn’t fall.”

Twilight blushed, as she realized her mistake, and she giggled nervously. “Oh. Um, sorry.”

I grumbled a little, but said, “S’ alright I suppose. Just please warn me next time you’re gonna do something like that.”

All three of us were silent then, as we waited for something to appear on the charts. It almost felt like you could cut the tension in the air with a knife. Twilight fidgeted a little, and then asked, “Any twitches yet?”

“Nope-Dopey!”

The impatient unicorn walked over to the bin that was being steadily filled with paper, and said, “Now? Anything?”

Pinkie got a look of concentration on her face, and she said, “Wait, hold on!” I leaned closer to her, and after a few seconds, the pink pony said, “Uh, no.”

“Are you kidding me?” Twilight said disbelievingly. “After a whole day of non-stop twitching, now that I’ve got you all hooked up, you’re not getting a single one?”

“I love irony,” I chuckled quietly. Twilight glared daggers at me, and I added, “I mean…No, wait, I still mean irony!” I smiled at her, and I think there was a vein throbbing dangerously on her head.

“If you’re not going to take this seriously, then would you please leave?” Twilight asked, pointedly opening the door with her magic.

Hm…Well, I do need to go and make sure that I keep getting bits, so I think that I’ll take that offer. “Sorry Twi,” I apologized. “I guess it’s just that I don’t think that science is gonna be able to explain this. See ya Pinkie, Twilight.”

I walked back up the stairs, and stepped back into the library. As soon as I shut the door, I looked at Spike, and let out a mad grin. He stepped back, looking at me worriedly, and I said, “They called me mad! I’ll show them mad! I’LL SHOW THEM ALL!”cackling madly all the while, rubbing my front hooves together.

Spike rolled his eyes, and said, “Nice one. Is Twilight down there? I need to ask her something.”

“Yeah, she’s conducting experiments on Pinkie Pie.”

“Doesn’t she remember what happened with y-”

“Ack!” I interrupted, my eyes widening as I shook my head furiously at the small dragon. “That must never be spoken of again!”

He clamped his mouth shut, but giggled. “You have to admit, you have some of the worst luck with lightning.”

Sighing, I rubbed my forehead, where I had been struck by lightning when I got here. “You have no idea…” I chuckled, and walked outside, unfurling my wings. “Spike, if anypony needs me, I’ll be back at my place in about…say, five hours?”

“Alright,” Spike said, putting his hand on the doorknob of the basement door.

I took off, catching the wind in my wings, and clumsily made my way across town, trying not to fall flat on my face (again). Just as I was leaving, I heard a door slam open, and an aggravated moan from a certain unicorn…

Irony strikes again!

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

I looked around carefully, glancing at a small slip of paper every now and then as I flew. Spotting Derpy, I hovered over to her, and smiled. “Hiya Derpy!” I said cheerfully.

She put a set of letters into a mailbox, and turned to smile back at me. “Hey Omnius! What’re you doing?”

“Trying not to get lost,” I admitted. “Do you know where I can find this address?” I held out the note, and she glanced at it with one of her eyes.

She nodded, and said, “Oh yeah, I know where! You’re in luck; she’s my next stop on my rounds! I can take you there when I drop off my letters!”

Phew, that saves me a lot of trouble. “Thanks, Derpy.” I flew by her side, and she giggled at my poor flying skills. “Yeah, I’m still trying to get the hang of flying.”

“It’s not too bad,” Derpy lied, trying to make me feel better. “It must have been hard for you to learn to walk in the first place.”

“You have no idea,” I laughed. “I could barely take two steps without falling down. On the bright side, I got to know the ground pretty well.”

We both shared a laugh at that, and Derpy frowned suddenly. “How long DID it take you to learn how to walk?”

I thought about it for a moment, and answered, “Um, I’m gonna guess at least six or seven hours, give or take.”

“What? Then why is it taking you so long to learn how to fly?!” She asked, surprised.

“I dunno. It might have something to do with the fact that if I didn’t learn to walk, or even run, I wouldn’t have been able to help out Apple Bloom,” I shrugged.

We landed in front of a surprisingly simple house, white with a blue tiled roof, and I looked at Derpy. “You sure this is the place?” I asked, concerned.

“Of course! Just don’t go spreading the word that I told you,” She whispered, looking around as if somepony was listening in on our conversation. She hoofed me a small stack of letters, and said, “Since you’re going in there, you may as well take her mail for me!”

“Fair enough. Thanks Derpy!” I said, knocking on the door. She flew off, and waved at me, already disappearing in the sky. A mailpony’s job is never done I guess.

After a couple of minutes, the door cracked open just a hair, revealing a startlingly scarlet colored eye. “Who is it?” A voice asked.

“Pizza delivery,” I deadpanned.

There was the sound of a chain being undone, and the door opened slightly wider, revealing a white unicorn pony with electric blue, frazzled hair. She smiled at me, and said, “There better be extra cheese on this pizza!”

She motioned for me to come in, and I followed her into her living room, which was almost buried in random bits of debris and trash. She cleared off some wires and instruction manuals from her couch, and we sat down.

“Glad to see you could find my house,” Vinyl said, still grinning her always slightly insane looking grin. It must be something to do with how her eyes and mane look, but come on! Don’t tell me I’m the only one who thinks that her smile makes her look a bit mad at times!

“I had to get a little help from the local mail-mare,” I replied, pulling out a small record from my vest pocket. It glowed slightly, as Vinyl lifted it out of my hoof, and looked expectantly at it. As she did that, I tossed her mail onto the coffee table in front of the couch where she would see it later.

“Is this the newest piece of music from ‘Treble Cliff’?” She said teasingly. Without even waiting for me to say anything, she popped open a sophisticated looking bit of machinery that was probably supposed to be a stereo system, and slid the record in.

“I still can’t believe that nopony has figured out my little secret,” I laughed, settling in to see how Vinyl would react to the latest batch of music I had “borrowed” from another world.

Vinyl Scratch, AKA “DJ PON -3”, was probably the best DJ in all of Equestria, at least from what I’d heard, and after meeting her at Rarity’s disastrous fashion show (granted, it was mostly our faults, but still), we had become pretty good friends. I liked the fact that even though she was a big-time celebrity, she still acted like an everyday, partially crazy and eccentric, unicorn with a good taste in music. And to top it off, she had accidentally heard me listening to music that hadn’t existed in Equestria yet (Namely “Good Egg Galaxy” from Super Mario Galaxy), and had asked me where I had gotten it. Naturally, I had to tell her I wrote it myself.

Long story short, she somehow snagged a copy, and with her links in the music business, got some big shot orchestra to play it, and now I was considered one of Equestria’s best orchestrated music writers, known anonymously as, “Treble Cliff”. Oh, and I was packing away a fair amount of bits now, but that’s beside the point.

“What do you th-” I started, before getting cut off by a “SHUSH!” from Vinyl. I grumbled quietly, and let her listen to the music in silence, fidgeting as I hoped it met her “cool” standards.

As soon as the music went silent, she let out one of her trademark crazy-smiles. “What do you call that one?” She asked.

“Um...” I frantically tried to come up with a name, and slowly said, “I call it…The Court of the Clouds!”

“I thought it might have something to do with that!” She said, giving me a one-legged hug. “How’d you come up with it?”

“One of my friends was telling me about her hometown, Cloudsdale, and I just thought that was so cool…An entire city in the sky,” I said, sighing. “So I threw this together, and voila! We have musics!”

“I like it! It’s different from most of the other boring classy music,” Vinyl said, nodding her head. “Any others?”

“Yeah, this entire disc is filled with music dedicated to the Pegasi, and the sky.” I said, handing her a list. “I couldn’t get my head out of the clouds, so I just put what I knew about them into here.”

She pressed the play button on her stereo, and bobbed her head to the next track. My stomach grumbled, and I said, “I’m getting hungry. Mind if I make us some lunch?”

“Go for it! There’s Mac ‘n’ Cheese in the cupboard,” she replied absently, still listening to the music.

I walked into the kitchen, and cleaned up as much of the mess as I could. I knew that Vinyl owned two homes, this one and the one in Canterlot, but did she have to leave them in such a mess? Granted, I do that too sometimes, but at least I can see the carpet! I set a pot filled with water on her stove, and started boiling it, mixing in the insta-mac (as I lovingly call it) into the water, whistling as I did so.

After a few minutes, I dished out the food, and walked back into the living room, where Vinyl was now hanging upside down on her couch.

“What’s up? Or is it down?” I asked, setting the bowl in front of her. She levitated a spoon into the bowl, and fed herself without bothering to change her position.

“This is how I listen to music!” She said with her mouth full of food. “How do you listen to it?”

“However the hay I want.”

“Good answer!”

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

I spent a few more hours at her house, and then left, carrying a pouch filled with my weekly earnings from the music. Promising to come back next time with some music dedicated to unicorns (Harry Potter soundtrack, and Secret of Mana, I’m looking at you!), I started my way back to my place, flying back at a very slow speed.

Just as I was about to land in town, I caught sight of Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, and Spike, who were all running towards the woods. I glided towards them, and managed to hover right in front of Pinkie Pie.

“What’s up?” I asked, frowning as I noticed the looks of worry on their faces.

Twilight rolled her eyes, as Pinkie said, “It’s my Pinkie sense! I just had a real doozey, and it’s telling me that something is about to happen in Froggy Bottom Bog!”

“So?”

Applejack answered this time, saying, “Fluttershy’s there!”

“Oh, well when you put it like that!” I ran alongside the mares, and added, “Come on! We need to hurry!”

“Do you still believe in this?” Twilight asked me, laughing slightly.

“You know what, Twilight?” I said, turning to look at her. “I do. Now even if I didn’t believe it, I’d still want to check on Fluttershy! The bog is way too close to the Everfree for my tastes, and I don’t like the thought of Fluttershy alone in there!”

“Ya know she lives right next to the forest, right?” Applejack asked, giving me an exasperated look.

“Yeah, but that’s different! She has Angel Bunny at home!”

“What does that-”

“I may, or may not, have taught him how to use a shovel as a weapon!”

“WHAT?!” All three of the mares yelled, while Spike just looked at me like I was insane.

“No, not really!” I quickly said. “But it’s Fluttershy! If anything did get too close to her house, her animals would let her know, and probably protect her.”

They all let sighed in relief, and even though the situation was potentially bad, I had to stifle a chuckle. Come on, would Angel Bunny really go all psycho-rabbit on them if I taught him how to use a shovel? Wait a second, that’s not too bad of an idea! Maybe I could-

As if a sign from the Gods, a branch that Spike had pushed out of his way snapped back at me, and slapped me in the face.

“Okay, point taken,” I said out loud, earning a few looks from the ponies and Spike. “Don’t ask.”

XHXHXHXHXHX

All five of us made our way through the slowly thickening forest, eventually slowing to a jog as we went. I strained my ears and eyes for any sign that something had happened to Fluttershy. If it’s not painfully obvious by now, I can sometimes get a little bit overprotective about my friends. The fact that I actually believed in Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense didn’t ease my worried mind.

“So what kind of twitch did you have?” I asked in an attempt to get my mind off Fluttershy.

Pinkie opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, her entire body started to shake violently. “That kind!” She answered as soon as she stopped shaking.

We all stopped, watching her, and Twilight sardonically said, “Cold? Need a jacket or something?”

“No thanks, I’m fine!” Pinkie said cheerfully, shaking again as soon as she finished.

While Spike and Applejack debated the possibility of exploding twice (by the way, it is entirely possible! Why? Ever heard of Goddard, from Jimmy Neutron? You know, the robotic dog who could make himself ASPLODE!?), I pulled Twilight aside, and hissed, “Lay off her, Twilight.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” I whispered angrily. “I’m sorry, but come on! If Fluttershy is fine, then you can go ahead and do the ‘I-told-you-so dance’ all you want, but until then, I don’t want to hear a word from you about it!”

“But it’s absurd!” She snapped. “I’m willing to bet that even you haven’t heard of such a thing!”

“You know what, I actually HAVE!” I shot back.

“What!?”

“Yeah! Spidey-Sense! Allowed one of my friends to sense Danger! Thanks to an irradiated spider bite!”

She smiled triumphantly, and I rolled my eyes. “That just proves my point! Pinkie’s is totally unbelievable, but yours has some sort of scientific explanation behind it!”

Feeling my patience with this wearing thin, I opened my mouth to say my best OBJECTION!, when Spike said loudly, “Can you do that? Can you explode twice!?”

“Of course not!” Applejack replied testily, never once taking her eyes off the road ahead.

“But what if…What if she exploded? And exploded again? And then-” Spike was cut off as Twilight stomped her hoof on his tail, making him jolt to a stop.

She looked at the dragon irritably, and said, “Will you two STOP!?” Pinkie skidded to a halt next to us, and she added, “She’s fine, I’m sure of it!”

We started forward again, and Applejack said, “Ah hope you’re right, for Fluttershy’s sake.”

Just then, we came upon a small opening that led to a low, muddy marsh, overgrown with various bits and pieces of plant life. My tail swatted at a few flies, and I once again was thankful for my experience with using whips as a weapon.

“Look, there’s Froggy Bottom Bog!” Applejack shouted, pointing at the bog ahead of us.

“Let’s move!” I shouted, taking to the sky. I scanned the area from above, trying to spot our animal loving friend, and hoping that nothing got to her. The others searched as well, Twilight amazingly not saying anything about the Pinkie senses.

Soon enough, I heard Spike yell out, “FLUTTERSHY!” I turned, and saw that he was currently attempting to strangle-hug her. “You’re okay!” He shouted, relief and happiness evident in his voice.

While Fluttershy appeared more than a little surprised at this, she simply smiled, and said, “Of course!”

“Whoo, what a relief,” Applejack said.

“Ain’t that the truth?” I landed next to them, grinning. From what it looked like, apparently Fluttershy was just dropping off some of her frogs here…which, in retrospect, makes sense. I mean, Froggy Bottom Bog, and she’s got Froggies? Makes sense to me! Especially since frogs can’t seem to cross the street safely to save their life.

“I’m so glad everything’s alright!” Pinkie said, standing on a patch of dry land across from Twilight, A.J, and I.

“Sorry,” I heard Twilight say. I rolled my eyes, and she continued. “I know it’s not nice to gloat, but…AHA!” She shouted, startling Spike and causing him to fall into the bog. Fluttershy and Pinkie gave her confused looks, while I just shook my head, and prayed for her speech to be short and too the…what just moved?

I stopped listening to Twilight’s speech, as I cast my eyes about, summoning my Traveler’s Blade, and gripping it with my tail. Thankfully, it was in whip form, which made it really easy for me to use in Pony form, if not the easiest. I flicked my tail experimentally, and the whip shot forth, splashing the water as a cloud of noxious green fumes rolled in.

“Ye Gods, that stinks,” I muttered, edging myself towards Pinkie and Fluttershy. A.J joined us soon after, the green fumes driving her away from Twilight, who stubbornly insisted on continuing her speech…

…Lo and behold, but one of my favorite forces, Irony, seems to take great delight in tormenting Twilight. As she talked, a massive wall of muddy-brown scales rose up behind her, as the fumes got thicker and thicker. I quickly turned my head, and noticed that another column of scales was slowly rinsing from behind the other one. A third, and then a fourth column joined the other two, forming a set of brown…shit, those aren’t columns. Those are NECKS.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that everypony (minus Twilight, who was still somehow oblivious to the monster) was trembling in fear, and that told me that this thing was obviously not something you wanted to mess with-

-until I realized what it really was. A mad grin formed on my face, as Spike finally had to shout, “W-W-Well, then, s-s-see what’s b-b-behind you, Twilight!”

The stubborn unicorn finally turned around, and saw four heads that were snorting green fumes, revealing them to be the source of the- wait, that means we’ve been inhaling essence of monster snot? EWWWWWWW!

Twilight gulped, and said, “I see it…BUT I DON’T BELIVE IT!”

The monster’s heads let out a perfectly (okay, one was a little off, but he was obviously having an off day) synchronized roar, shaking the bog all around us.

I squee’d in girlish delight, and Twilight shouted, “Omnius, that’s a Hydra! Why are you smiling!?!”

Unfurling my wings, I said, “Oh ye of little open mindedness. You see a Hydra, I see the worlds’ largest ‘Whack-a-mole’!”

“Who cares?!” Applejack shouted, reminding me of the danger it posed to my friends. “RUN!”

I saw the wisdom in her statement, and started to run, the rest following. Noticing that Pinkie wasn’t with us, I had to stop, and look around. Spotting Pinkie, who was trembling in fear of the Hydra’s gaze (Wait, how do you show the possessive grammar rule for “Hyrda”? I mean, it’s got more than one head! Does that mean it would be “Hydras’” instead of “Hydra’s”? DAMN YOU GRAMMAR! YOU MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE!).

“Pinkie, come on!” Twilight yelled at Pinkie.

She took a few trembling steps backwards, and one hydra head lunged at her. I swung my whip at her, and snagged the end of her tail, pulling her back in time, causing the hydra to only get a mouthful of mud.

Pinkie shot forward, my whip coming free from her tail, and I saw the danger this monster posed to my friends. As the heads started to attack all of them in turn, my anger started to bubble in my chest, and my basic protective instinct kicked in, telling me what I had to do.

“Run! I’ll slow down Big Uglies here,” I shouted, taking off into the sky.

[I'd suggest listening to "Desire For All That Is Lost” on youtube while reading]

The Hydra slowly crawled out of the water, where it towered over all of the trees, making its way to my friends. I flew in, and did a somersault in mid-air, smacking the side of one head with my whip. The head hissed in pain, and tore its eyes away from Twilight, aiming for me instead.

“That’s right ugly,” I taunted. “Follow the annoying Traveler!” Weaving around the head, I flew under the stomach, and lashed at it with my whip a few times, opening a few shallow cuts that, while not very serious, obviously caused it pain, as all of the heads roared angrily.

“HEEEELLLP!” Spike suddenly called out, distracting me for a moment. One of the heads snapped forward, and hit me with a tree that it had accidentally snagged earlier, hitting me to the side.

As I righted myself, I glimpsed Twilight pulling Spike out of the muck he had gotten stuck in, and forced myself to fly faster, catching a head with my whip, and barely preventing it from making a snack out of the unicorn and dragon.

“Come on, hitting me with a tree!?” I shouted, landing on the hydra’s back. “I’ve been hit by FREIGHT TRAINS! COME AT ME BRO!!!”

Three of the heads ignored me, and the hydra continued making its way towards the ponies, while the less smarter of the heads snapped at me repeatedly, forcing me to go on the defensive, looping through the air as I did so. Eventually, one of the other heads blindsided me, and sent me spinning to the ground.

“OMNIUS!” I heard Twilight yell, as all five of them reached the top of the hill.

“I’m fine,” I weakly called out, wincing as I felt some pressure on my ribs. “Go!”

I tried to get up, but found that I was too weak. Unfortunately, I had crash-landed on a rock, and might have cracked a few ribs this time, something I didn’t take very well.

“RUN!” I shouted, struggling to get up. Seeing them hesitating at a series of stone pillars that formed a makeshift bridge, my heart sank. Unless I could pull a miracle out of my pocket, I don’t think that they’re gonna-

My pocket! I dug a hoof into my vest pocket desperately, and I pulled out the same star that I had snagged out of the air earlier that day. It twinkled strangely, and shimmered in the light. On closer examination, it seemed to be made entirely out of tiny blocks, and two black spots blinked at me, urging me to…

Ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy! I think that I might be able to use it! As I closed my eyes to become one with the star’s energy, I dimly heard Twilight call out, “He’s too close! I’ll distract him!”

Hey, that’s my line! Stop siphoning off my hero vibe! I stopped concentrating for a moment, and spotted Twilight, who…just made me the proudest Traveler ever. She screamed, “CHAAAAAARRRRRGEEE!” and did just that, running at the Hydra full steam. She darted under its massive belly, and three of the heads followed her, until the combined momentum of the Hydra’s head caused its body to flip over, buying the unicorn precious time.

“Good goin’ Twi!” I called out weakly. “Now get out of there!”

“I can’t just leave you though!”

“Twilight, STOP STEALING MY LINES!” I shouted, laughing. “Go! I’ll catch up as soon as I can!”

Reluctantly, she started running, and I tuned out the sounds of the forest, and focused on the star I held in my two front hooves. After a few seconds, energy poured through my body, and the pain started to recede, soon disappearing all together. My mind cleared instantly, and I jumped up, flapping my wings rapidly.

I spotted the Hydra standing on top of the hill where Twilight was now eying the somehow now impossible jump that separated her from freedom and certain doom, while the Hydra slowly came closer and closer to her.

“ESPERANTO! LET'SA GO!” I shouted, taking off so fast, that Rainbow Dash would be slightly jealous. In a multi-colored blur, I flew around the heads, laughing all the while. Yeah, that’s right! I’d just gone SUPER STAR on a Hydra! This is officially, the BEST. DAY. EVER!

I didn’t see the outcome of Twilight’s jump, but from the excited cries of the ponies, I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that she made it. The hydra angrily roared, and attempted to take out its anger on me.

Big Mistake.

I looped around the necks, while each individual head tried to get at me, eventually tying itself into a knot of tangled necks. While it growled at me, I simply scowled, feeling the effects of the star start to fade.

Taking advantage of the last few seconds I had, I flew up to the knot, and said, “You frighten my friends, attempt to hurt them, and then you insult me by thinking you could defeat me in combat! I have chosen my words carefully, Hydra. Perhaps you should have done the same!”

The Hydra’s collective heads gave me a look that plainly said, “Are you crazy?”

Flying a little ways away, I flew full speed at the knot, and then bucked it with the remaining star-strength, yelling, “THIS. IS. EQUESTRIA!!!” The Hydra stumbled, and then fell into the cliff, plunging into the muck below.

Nodding, I hovered feebly over to the other side, and landed next to the girls, as the star finally wore off. “What do ya think? Too much?” I asked jokingly.

“You’re okay!” Twilight said, hugging me tightly.

“Oof! Yeah, just a little sore,” I chuckled, folding my wings back up. “Wait, I just flew! I mean, really flew, not just that other stuff!”

“Hey, you did!” Pinkie said, smiling widely. “Wowzies! Why didn’t you fly like that earlier?”

“I guess I just adapt well when there’s danger,” I shrugged, rolling my shoulders. “Way to make that jump Twilight! And the way you took on that Hydra! Wow!”

She blushed, and Pinkie said, “I knew you could do it Twilight!”

“I don’t know how it happened. Coincidence…” She glanced at Spike, who was grinning smugly for some reason. “…dumb luck, or what. But you said there’d be a doozy here at Froggy Bottom Bog, and I’d say we just had ourselves one heck of a doozy. I mean, that Hydra-”

She was suddenly interrupted as Pinkie Pie started to twitch violently again. As soon as she stopped, she said, “That wasn’t it.”

“Huh?” Both Twilight and I said at the same time.

“That wasn’t it!” Pinkie said, shaking again.

“What wasn’t what?” Spike asked.

“What are you talkin’ about, Pink?” Applejack asked, confused.

“The hydra wasn’t the doozy!”

I looked over the edge of the cliff, where the hydra was still struggling to free itself from the knot I had gotten it tied in. One of the heads stopped to blow a raspberry at me, and then resumed its tedious task.

“I’m still getting the shudders!” She started shaking as she talked, and said, “See? There it is again! Whatever the doozy was at Froggy Bottom Bog…My Pinkie Sense says it still hasn’t happened!”

I felt my jaw drop, and said, “Wait…There’s something that’s more of a doozy than THAT!?”

Twilight, however, didn’t take the news as well as I did. She started gritting her teeth, and in an obvious attempt to control herself, said in an increasingly louder voice, “The hydra wasn’t the doozy? How could it not be the doozy? What could be doozy-er than that?!”

“Dunno, but that just wasn’t it!”

Twilight’s face scrunched up in extreme anger, as her teeth clenched tightly together, and her eyes dilated in pure frustration. I think I heard an audible “snap” sound that represented her patience/temper, and she jumped into the air-

Holy shit, SHE JUST EVOLVED INTO A RAPIDASH! DAMN IT! I always see the cool Pokémon when I don’t have any Pokéballs with me! Not fair! While I grumbled to myself about never being properly prepared for the critters, the others stared in surprise at Twilight’s pyrotechnic display of temper loss. Eventually, the flames died down, revealing Twilight in extra-crispy form, where she let out an aggravated sigh, and said, “I give up!”

She plopped onto the ground, and Spike asked, “Give up what, Twi?”

“The fight,” She said as Pinkies started shuddering again. “I can’t fight it anymore. I don’t understand how, why, or what. But Pinkie Sense somehow…makes sense. I don’t see how it does, but it just does! Just because I don’t understand, doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

“Wow. That’s pretty wise,” I said, smiling.

“Y-y-you mean you b-b-believe?” Pinkie stuttered as she kept on shaking.

“Yep. I guess I do,” Twilight stated.

Pinkie started trembling even worse than before, and I think she inflated a few times before she…stopped. Just completely, and utterly, stopped. She gave herself a quick once-over with her eyes, and said, “Oh! That was it! That was the doozy!”

All of us just gaped at the pink pony, and Twilight rushed up to her, and said, “What? What is?”

“You believing! I never expected THAT to happen. That was the doozy,” She said, laughing. I couldn’t help but join her, and she added, “Oh, and oh, what a doozy of a doozy it was!”

We kept laughing, trotting off while the others just stared at us, and I asked her, “Pinkie?”

“Yeah Omni?”

“Do me a favor, and never stop acting like that!” I laughed.

“Okie-dokie-lokie!”

XHXHXHXHXHX

As we made our way back to town, I stopped off at Zecora’s hut, and visited her for a few minutes.

“Hello Pony in blue! It is good to see you,” She called out, setting a cup of tea in front of me.

“You too Z,” I replied, sipping at the tea. “How’s the herb thing working?”

“Ponies in town love what I can brew, and again, I must thank you!”

“Thank me?”

“If not for you and sweet little Apple Bloom, Whenever I’d go to town, the ponies would still hide in their room!” She replied, throwing some herbs in a pot.

“Ah, it was nothing. I just wanted to get to meet you,” I answered. “Hey, do you happen to have any azalea seeds? I’ve been thinking I need a less eccentric hobby than the one I have now.”

“Of course,” She answered simply. She tossed me a small pouch with seeds in it, and gave me the proper care and instructions for growing them.

“Now you have these flowers, which you can grow, but what was your old hobby, that I must know?” She asked, placing herself into a meditative stance on her staff.

“Erm…Ever heard of a catapult? I got bored, and built one,” I answered, stuffing the pouch into my pocket.

“Ah. A strange pastime, but no stranger than my rhyme.”

“Yeah, about that: Is there a word you can’t rhyme?” I asked, looking at her.

She grinned, as if she had been asked this before, and said challengingly, “No there is not, I can rhyme words in a single thought.”

“Orange,” I said instantly.

“Door hinge.”

“Oh, you’re good…” I thought for a moment, and then clapped my hooves together. “Got it! Month!”

I was met with silence, as she attempted to think of a word. After five minutes, she shook her head, and sighed. “A clever trick, I must admit, but however did you come up with it?”

“I plead the fifth.”

“I beg your pardon?”

I slapped my face, and said, “Right, you don’t get those jokes. Damn it.”

Taste The Rainboom

Chapter 14:

Tast the Rainboom

(Takes place during Episode 16 of My Little Pony)

“OMNIUS!”

“Gah!” I fell out of bed, still wrapped in my sheets, and rapidly flapped my wings in an attempt to get free. “WHAT’S HAPPENING?! Are we under attack? Did someone try and shave my beard? ARE THEY TRYING TO MAKE A SECOND SUPER MARIO BROTHERS MOVIE?!?”

A hoof smacked into my face, bringing me to my senses, and cutting off my tirade. I blinked, and slipped my glasses onto my face to see that Rainbow Dash was currently glaring at me irritably.

“Mornin’ to you too,” I yawned, scratching the back of my head. “How’d you get in?”

“You loaned me a key!” She growled.

“Oh yeah…now I remember. What’s with the early-morning grouchiness?” I slowly got up, and shook out my mane and fluffed up my feathers, trying to appear somewhat presentable for my unexpected company.

“No time, COME ON!” She flew behind me, and pushed me out of the window, forcing me to start flapping my wings to prevent myself from having a tear-filled reunion with the ground.  I glanced at the sky, and groaned.

“Dash,” I said, turning my head to look at her. “It’s the butt-crack of dawn.”

“The what?” Dash said, slowing down for a moment in her confusion.

“I’m the one who just got pushed out the window,” I retorted. “You answer me. Now.”

“Ugh, FINE!” She stopped pushing, and flew besides me, forcing me to pick up the pace. As we flew, she explained to me how she was entering something called the “Best Young Flyer Competition.” Apparently, since it was taking place in Cloudsdale, only Fluttershy and I (as long as I stuck to Pegasus form) would be able to show up and cheer her on.

“So…I’ve been recruited as a cheerleader?” I said dryly as we came upon the field that Rainbow Dash would be practicing in.

“Yeah! I’ve been trying to get Fluttershy to cheer louder, but-”

“She’s Fluttershy. ‘Nuff said,” I interrupted, shaking out my mane. “Alright, I’m in. But I get to pick your music for your routine.”

“WHAT!?” Rainbow shouted, landing on the field and staring at me angrily. “But I already got my music picked! And I’ve already synched it with my flying routine!”

“Uh huh,” I grunted.

“And you’re just gonna make me redo my entire routine to fit it?!”

“Who said that?” I asked, mentally going through potential songs in my head. “Just do your sky-dancing gig, and I’ll pick a tune that fits.”

“Are you sure?” She asked me, choosing to ignore the sky-dance comment.

“Yes. Come on, Dasher,” I said, wrapping a forehoof around her neck. “Just gimme a chance and I can get you a totally rockin’ new sound to make you more awesome than you already are.”

Dash’s will faltered, and I had to resist the urge to grin. Easiest way to convince her that you’re doing something good is to stoke her ego. I learned that early on, but tried not to do stuff like that too often. It made me feel guilty, like I was manipulating her to my own ends. That being said, I only did it this time because she seemed…

Dare I say it?

She seemed nervous.

Rainbow Dash: Speedster Extraordinaire, Dangerous Daredevil, and Awesome Aviator, was nervous.

Well. I probably should’ve seen that coming.

Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I smiled, and said, “Now come on. Let’s see that routine you’ve got planned.”

She nodded, and flew into the air, the wind pushing her mane back. While I watched her fly up into the air, I looked to my side and saw that a certain yellow Pegasus had appeared, somehow managing to creep up by me without me noticing.

“S’up, Shy?” I asked, my stomach growling lightly.

“Oh, hello, Omnius,” Fluttershy said, standing next to me. “Did Rainbow wake you up too?”

“You could say that…Hey, do I smell food?” Is it just me, or do I turn the conversation to food a lot?

Fluttershy giggled, and set down a small bag she had been carrying with her. Flipping it open, she pulled out a couple bowls of salad, and set them onto the ground. “I’ve gotten used to Rainbow Dash waking me up early, so I started packing my own meals for these.” She then glanced at my stomach, and pushed a small bowl of fruit towards me.

“Erm, no, it’s fine,” I said, ignoring my stomach’s furious protests. “It’s your food, and I really shouldn’t take it.”

“But you didn’t eat anything for breakfast!”

“How’d you know that?” I asked, more than a little surprised.

“It’s Rainbow Dash.”

“Touché. Ooh, grapes!”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

A few minutes later, Dash had caught me trying to catch a few Z’s (damn it, but come on, I NEVER GET TO SLEEP WHEN I WANT TO), and she was now forcing me to cheer alongside Fluttershy, acting as her personal cheerleaders.

“YEAH!” I hollered at the top of my lungs. “GO DASH! COLOR ME IMPRESSED! BOOYAKASHA! EYE OF THE TIGER! MOTIVATIONAL STUFF! YODA QUOTE! SOMETHING ELSE LIKE THAT!”

“…yay,” Fluttershy, um, cheered (?).

Welp, there goes my heart. Cause of termination: Diabetes. I’m sorry, but come on…it’s Fluttershy. The most adorable of ponies. Saying “yay”. What’s not to love about that?!

Dudes and dudettes, I dare you, no, I CHALLENGE YOU to find something more A-d’aw-able than that. Actually, no, I’m not gonna do that, because I don’t want you to waste your time trying to find something as a-d’aw-able as that. I don’t want you to be crushed by the defeat.

Rainbow Dash halted mid-routine, and turned her gaze towards us. She groaned, and smacked her face with her hoof, doing an obvious face-hoof.

“Fluttershy! Is THAT what you call cheering?”

Maybe she calls it that, but I call it “Weapons-Grade Cute-onium.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?”

Quickly thinking of an excuse to avoid more heart-destroying “yays”, I flapped my wings, and flew off, saying, “Got an idea, getting you theme song, be back in a few!”

Within a few minutes, I had flown back to my house, grabbed an iPod from my stash (being immortal does not necessarily mean you know how to repair an iPod if it gets broken), and came back, to see Rainbow Dash doing a type of military thing with Fluttershy.

“Now, what have we learned?”

“Lots of control.”

“Good,” Rainbow Dash said simply.

“Screaming and hollering.”

“Yes. And most importantly?”

“Passion!”

…Oh dear Gandhi, please don’t let them be talking about what my sleep-deprived, semi-perverted mind is thinking about.

“Right!” She landed in front of her, and added, “So now that you know the elements of a good cheer, let’s hear one!”

YE GODS AND GODDESSES, THAT WAS CLOSE.

Fluttershy inhaled a small bit of air, and then- “Yay.”

I stifled a “D’aw”, and elected to sit quietly, and observe what was happening. All I can say is: Thank the Gods I’m semi-immortal.

Rainbow Dash face-hoofed, and said, “Ugh, you’re gonna like that? Louder.”

“Yay.”

“Louder!”

“Yay.” Okay, it was just a tid-bit louder that time around.

“LOUDER!”

“Yay.” Just a liiiiiiiiiitllle bit louder.

“LOUDER!!!” Ow, my ears. I absently stuck a hoof to one, and rubbed vigorously, while Fluttershy took a huge breath, ready to unleash her pent-up excitement and energy in one, single, world changing shout that would forever go down in history.

“Yaaay.”

Well, it’d go down in history for making me fall over from sudden exposure to dangerously high levels of Fluttershy cuteness.

Rainbow just fell over from sheer-exposure to embarrassment for her friend.

“Too loud?” Fluttershy asked us both, concern in her voice.

I laughed, and picked myself up off the ground, brushing some grass off of my wings. “Nah, it wasn’t loud, per say.”

“Oh, is that good?” She asked, looking at me with her wide, crystal colored eyes.

“Erm…”

“NO! We need to work on making sure you cheer loud enough!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, flying up suddenly. “I need to hear the both of you cheering me on! Do you understand me?”

“MARE, YES, MARE,” I shouted, giving her a mock salute. “PERMISSION TO SPEAK, MA’AM?”

“Granted,” Dash replied, taking my military style speech in stride.

“Can we break for lunch?”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

After a quick lunch break, Dash had flown up into the clouds, while Fluttershy and I stood next to each other on the ground, waiting for her performance. I had also taken the time to play the music that I had thought would fit well for Rainbow’s flight routine, and she had given me the go ahead to play it while she flew.

“Alright, the tunage is set,” I called out, after plugging my iPod into a small, battery powered speaker. “Let her rip!”

“Yay!” Fluttershy cheered softly.

Dash took a deep breath, and bounced a few times on her cloud, as if it were a diving board, and then she leaped off of it, and plummeted to the ground, becoming a cyan blur. Just when it looked like she was about to face-plant into the ground, she pulled up, and soared close to the ground, leaving a rainbow colored trail in her wake.

Without even skipping a beat, she flew towards a long row of tall, thin trees, and weaved through them, barely even losing any speed at all! As she passed by me and Shy, I had to grab my glasses to keep them from being flung off of my face, and I shouted, “YEAH!!!”

“Ooooh!” Fluttershy softly cheered.

Note to self: Talk to Iron Man about getting a new heart. Mine just exploded.

While I fought off the urge to have a sudden heart attack, Rainbow Dash sped off into the sky, zooming around three clouds, picking up more and more momentum, until she started turning them, causing them to spin rapidly, and make me dizzy from trying to keep up with them.

I shook my head, and screamed, “OOOWWWWW! GO, GO, GO!”

Fluttershy looked up, and softly said, “Way to go!”

…I better ask him to make that heart out of vibranium. Or whatever they make the railing out of in video games. Seriously, have you noticed that stuff never breaks?

I’m getting distracted again. Anyways, I craned my neck to watch Rainbow climb higher into the sky, until she was nothing more than a speck, before she turned around and shot off like a bullet towards the ground, with one hoof extended before her.

“What’s she doing?” I asked.

“She’s trying to do a Sonic Rainboom,” Fluttershy answered.

“A sonic what-boom?”

“Just watch! She’s about to do it!”

Sure enough, a vapor cone had started to form around Rainbow, and it looked as if she were about to push through it, her eyes watering from what I imagine must’ve been the g-force, when-

She stopped, the cone refusing to break. Before I could react, the cone somehow defied all laws of physics (right, magic pony land, who am I to talk physics?), and flung her back, almost as fast as she was going before.

“Well. That ain’t good,” I mumbled, while Fluttershy covered her mouth in worry. “Five bits says she lands in Twilight’s library.”

“What makes you say that?”

“It’s that time of week for a friendship report,” I replied. “So, for the sake of plot convenience, she’ll land somewhere near Twilight. And Twilight just so happens to be cleaning after a hard night of studying.”

“How do you know that?”

“Elementary, my dear Fluttershy! It’s Twilight, and she tends to study more around this time of week, almost as if her sub-conscience is prepping her for her routine reports, so that she’ll know what to expect,” I explained as we flew.

“Does that really happen?”

“I have no clue.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Hey kids, guess what time it is!

That’s right! It’s time for the “I-told-you-so!” dance! But, I am a dude of honor, and don’t like to do that dance, unless it happens to involve drinking contests or chili-dogs.

Wait, what was I right about? Oh, yeah, Dash crashing into the library.

Fluttershy flew to an open window (probably the one Dash crashed through), and I had to push open the door, moving some of the books out of the way. Once I was inside, I noticed that not only was Twilight in there, but so were the rest of our friends.

Come on; let me hear you say it:

YAY, PLOT CONVENIENCE!

“Rainbow Dash, you rock!” Fluttershy said in her soft voice from her perch. “Woo-hoo!” She stopped and looked at the mess, surprise etched onto her face. “Did my cheering do that?”

I face-hoofed. Damn you adorable Fluttershy.

Damn you.

Rainbow Dash stood up, shaking herself free of some stray books, and sheepishly laughed. “Sorry about that, ladies,” She apologized, before she let out an annoyed huff. “That was a truly feeble performance!”

“Actually, it wasn’t all bad. I particularly liked it when you made the clouds spin,” Fluttershy said, smiling.

Rainbow let out another annoyed sigh, and said, “I’m not talking about my performance, I’m talking about YOURS! That feeble cheering! Omnius, you weren’t bad, but you might need to say something cooler.”

“Like what?”

“What are you three arguing about?” Twilight interrupted suddenly.

“Were we arguing? I’m sorry,” Fluttershy apologized, earning another face-hoof from me.

Dash let out yet ANOTHER sigh, and said to the others, “I wish you guys could come to Cloudsdale to see me compete in the Best Young Flyer Competition.”

“What’s that?” Twilight asked.

Pinkie jumped up, and said enthusiastically, “It’s where all the greatest pegasus flyers get together and show off their different flying styles!” She reared up, and took off around the room, saying, “ Some are fast!”

I got hit in the face by a few books, and had to shake them off a few times so I didn’t get buried by knowledge.

“Some are graceful!” Pinkie added, trying to do some sort of ballet style thing, before she suddenly fell over, and landed on my, forcing my head under a pile of books, some of them with spells on “Static Cling”…NO!

I struggled to remove myself from the pile, and in my thrashing, I accidentally missed a good chunk of the conversation. By the time I removed my head, I had just barely caught Pinkie’s explanation of what a Sonic Rainboom was, and now wanted to see one in action.

Okay, guess I’m Rainbow Dash’s official Cheerleader.

Meh, I’ve been worse.

“And Rainbow Dash is the only pony to ever pull one off!” Applejack said, praising our prismatic friend.

Rainbow looked away, and said in an attempt at humility, “It was a long time ago. I was just a filly.”

“Yeah, but you’re gonna do it again, right?” Pinkie asked energetically.

In that moment, I saw something unexpected.

Rainbow Dash hesitated. Maybe only for an instant, but it was there all the same. I was so surprised by it, that I missed the rest of what she said, but I know she said something about the grand prize, and yadda, yadda, short attention span.

I shook myself out of that, and heard Dash say that she was gonna go rest up. But not before she told Fluttershy to work on her cheering.

“And Omnius? Make sure you bring that music! It’s gonna make me look awesome, by sounding awesome!” She said to me as she flew off.

“Okay…”

Fluttershy flew towards the window, and stopped to look back at us. “She’s practiced that move a hundred times, and she’s never even come close to doing it. I don’t know if I can cheer loud enough to help her,” She said worriedly, before taking off.

“…Well, that’s not good,” I stated. “I’m gonna go find a map to Cloudsdale. Sorry about the mess, I’ll help clean it later! Right now, I’ve got some, uh, issues to take care of.”

“Issues?”

I mean make music so I don’t run out of bits. “Laundry.”

“But you don’t need to constantly wear clothes as a pony,” Rarity pointed out.

“Look, a fashion magazine!” She turned to look where I was pointing, and I took off, laughing maniacally.

It’s good to be The Traveler.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

The next day, after I had woken up and studied the map for a bit, I slowly flew to where it said Cloudsdale would be.

“Wonder what it’s gonna be like,” I said to myself. “Maybe it’ll be like the Floating Island, or maybe it’s got some sort of rocket underneath it!” I joked.

“Hello Omnius,” Rarity said, flying past me.

“S’up Rarity.”

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

BRIIIIING!

“Wait, RARITY!?” I shouted, coming to a halt as I watched her fly off. “But-how-she-I-butterfly wings-waffles-WHAT?!”

“Hiya Omni!” Pinkie called out, waving at me from her hot air balloon.

“Pinkie?! Applejack?! TWILIGHT?!?” I shouted, now totally confused. “What did I smoke, and who was dumb enough to sell it to me?” I joked.

“Would you stop that, and help us out?” Twilight asked, laughing a little.

“Sure. Need me to give y’all a push?” I offered, flying underneath the balloon.

“Iffin you’re willing,” Applejack said.

“Sure. You can explain to me what’s going on while we fly.”

Grasping the bottom of the balloon basket in my front hooves (and humming the Superman theme quietly to myself), I gently guided the balloon to Cloudsdale, while Twilight explained how she had given Rarity wings using an incredibly complex spell (that’s my overpowered friend!), and then had to resort to using a less taxing spell that allowed her and the others to walk on clouds.

“Huh…so, you can walk on clouds now?”

“Yep, yep, yep!” Pinkie said happily.

“Cool. Welp, we’re here…screw going around the clouds!”

“Omnius, what are you-WHOA!”

I pushed the balloon through the clouds, and posed triumphantly as we broke through, giving a very surprised Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy an over-dramatic, “Dun dun dunnnnnn!”

“I…I can’t believe it!” Rainbow Dash said in a relieved voice.

“It’s incredible!” Fluttershy agreed.

“I know, I haven’t gotten to make a Superman joke in forever!” I said, before feeling someone glare at me through the basket. “Alright, alright, sheesh…” I flew out from under the balloon, and shook out the bits of cloud that were clinging to my mane.

“This is so cool! You guys made it!” cheered Rainbow Dash.

“Sure did,” Pinkie said, before she jumped out of the basket.

“WAIT!” Dash cried out, not knowing about the cloud-walker spell.

Hold on just a second…clouds are in the sky…they’re walking on the clouds…YE GODS, TWILIGHT HAS CREATED THE JEDI! All hail Twilight Skywalker, daughter of the infamous Darth Stallion!

For a few moments, I entertained myself by putting Twilight in a Jedi costume, while everypony explained the whole cloud walker thing.

After that, we toured the city, Rarity getting a few compliments from construction ponies…and me narrowly avoiding a falling jackhammer.

“Watch out, mac!” I shouted, pulling my wings away from the potentially lethal instrument. “You could seriously hurt somepony!”

“Sorry,” he apologized, flying down to catch his tool.

“Be careful with those wings, Rarity,” Twilight warned. “They’re made from gossamer and morning dew, and they’re incredibly delicate.”

“Don’t worry, Twilight. I’m sure they can’t get worn out from too much attention,” Rarity said dismissively.

Uh-oh. My foreshadowing senses are tingling.

Not good.

“Since we’re up here, I’d sure like to get a look at where the weather is made,” Applejack said, looking at Rainbow expectantly.

“Great idea!” She answered. “Come on girls (and Omnius)! To the weather factory!”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Oh jeez.

I don’t like where this is heading.

See, the factory itself looked pretty awesome. I mean, come on, it’s made of clouds, and it’s got rainbow waterfalls. That in itself is a pretty sight to behold. There was just one ittsy-bittsy, teeney-weeney problem.

Lightning clouds.

Remember how I mentioned I have horrible luck with lightning? I can already tell that this isn’t going to end well…

A few minutes later, we had been given some white coats and matching hard hats, and were shown inside.

The first room contained a bunch of ponies working with sophisticated magnets, each of them wearing thick parkas and earmuffs. It must’ve felt pretty chilly to them…

“This is where they make the snowflakes,” Dash explained, playing tour-guide for us. “Each one is hoof-made. As you can see, it’s a very delicate operation.”

I nodded, and adjusted the hard-hat on my head. Rarity was flying near the top of the room, staring at some of the larger snowflakes, and she said, “Ooh, the snowflakes look even better from up here!”

Unfortunately, physics suddenly decided to work again, and the wind that was forming form Rarity flapping her wide wings started to blow all of the snowflakes around, causing an indoor blizzard.  You know, it’s at times like these that I’m thankful I’m part Nord.

50% Cold resistance can really come in handy.

While the snowflakes started to shatter, Rainbow suggested, “We better move on before Rarity ruins winter and causes a drought.”

“That’d be a bad thing,” I agreed.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“And here’s where they make the rainbows!” Dash said, gesturing towards vast pools filled with the by-now famous colors of the stuff. Several Pegasi were stirring the pools with items that vaguely reminded me of pool skimmers, like the ones used to clean swimming pools of leaves and dead bees…and occasionally still living bees.

I hate bees. Almost as much as I hate bears and obsidian.

I really…REALLY…hate obsidian…

Sorry, off topic. Moving on!

Pinkie and I both walked up to a pool, and she dipped her hoof in it.

“Careful, Pinkie,” I warned her. “Remember when you and Dash replaced my soda with that stuff?”

“Oh, I’ll be fine. I put hot sauce on cupcakes, how bad could it be?” She then licked her hoof, and clicked her tongue a few times to truly appreciate the flavor…before her face rapidly changed colors, and she dashed off at ludicrous speeds, yelling, “SPICY!!!”

I laughed, and yelled after her, “KARMA!”

…Hm…I haven’t done anything stupid yet this week. I wonder…

“Five bits says I can drink an entire bucket of that rainbow stuff,” I said, taking off my hard-hat and dumping it into the pool.

“Omnius, that’s a terrible idea!” Twilight said.

“Your skepticism is all the motivation I need,” I said cheerfully, before downing the entire hat-full of the stuff. Immediately, my eyes began to water furiously, and I had to continuously fight the urge to make like Pinkie, and break the fourth wall to get a glass of water from the guy on the other side of the screen.

“See?” I said with faux-confidence. “Nothing to it. Hey, Dash, is there a cafeteria here?”

“Yeah, just down the hall, why?”

“No reason…I’ll catch up with you in a moment.”

I flew off quickly, and threw myself to the front of the lunch line, apologizing rapidly to the ponies already there. Looking at the lunch mare, I quickly set out a bag of bits, and said, “Get me your biggest glug of rainwater.”

“Glug?”

“Glug.”

“One Glug, coming right up,” She grunted, hoofing me a huge bucket of water.

“Thanks.” I hovered away from the line, and used the rain water to douse the flames that were quickly burning me alive from the inside out. Small traces of steam leaked out of my nostrils, and I let out a huge sigh of relief.

Just as I left the cafeteria, I met up with the rest of the girls, and managed to hide the bucket before they could see it.

“What’d I miss?” I asked, looking at them all.

“Oh, nothing,” Dash said unconvincingly. “Next part of the tour is the Lightning Chargers! That’s where we make the batteries for flashlights and such.”

“Lightning?” I said fearfully. “Uh-oh…”

“Omnius, are you praying?” Applejack asked me as I fell to the floor and lifted my front hooves up.

“Oh mighty Zeus, Thor, Thunderbird, Set, Pikachu, and AC/DC…please don’t let me get struck by lightning as we go through this dark, and potentially dangerous place…” I whispered, ignoring her question. “In the name of all that is good, I pray. Amen.”

I stood up, and gulped audibly. “Okay, let’s go…”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

We entered a room with dark, charcoal colored storm clouds for walls, with a large conveyer belt running through the center of it. Pegasi that were covered with singed and erratic fur and feathers were flying at the top, and bucking the clouds, sending small bolts of electricity at the batteries on the belt, charging them and prepping them for use.

“So, here’s where we use the lightning for some experimental purposes,” Dash exclaimed. “These are used in little things, like flashlights or radios, and we make sure we recycle them as well!”

“Cool! Uh-huh. Fantastic. Okay, I’ve seen enough, let’s amscray!” I said, heading towards the door. I threw them open, and let out a wild smile of victory. FINALLY! Something that involved lightning, and I didn’t even get so much as a bit of static sho-

“LOOK OUT!”

KRACK-OW!

A bolt of lightning flew out of the clouds, missing a battery entirely, and colliding with my flank. I felt my limps shake wildly, and I fell to the ground, saying, “Damn it…which god was it this time?”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“You’ve been…THUNDERSTRUCK!” A man sang, while the rest of his band played one of the most easily recognizable songs in all of rock history.

The guitarist smiled, and said quietly, “Sorry, Nate. Couldn’t resist.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Ouch…” I moaned, picking myself up, and flattening my hair. “I’m okay…it’s fine! I’ve taken harder bolts before!”

All of the weather Pegasi nodded, and went back to work, satisfied that I was fine. Twilight shook her head, and used her magic to levitate a patch of safe, white cloud to my face, where it rubbed off the rest of the scorch marks.

“Thanks,” I grunted. “So, can we move on to a safer part of the tour? Like the gift shop? Or maybe a bathroom…”

“How about we show you where the clouds are made?” Fluttershy suggested.

“Normal clouds?”

“Yes.”

“Normal, non-explodey clouds?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m in, let’s go!”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Urge…to use pimp hoof…rising!

Seriously! I was trying to listen to Fluttershy explain how the clouds worked, but Rarity was kind of being mobbed by her own personal fan base, and they would NOT shut up about how pretty her wings were! Okay, we get it! You want to see more wings like that? STARE AT FLUTTERSHY’S CUTIE-MARK.

The worst part about it though, was the fact that Rarity KNEW it was making Rainbow Dash upset, and even more nervous than she already was, but she encouraged them! She was basking in the limelight that had been brought to her because of her wings.

“What, these old things?” Rarity asked the crowd. “Go ahead, everypony. Photos are encouraged.”

Must…control…pimp hoof!

Twilight must’ve been thinking along the same lines I was thinking, as she and I both looked at Dash, and then we made our way over to the showboating unicorn.

“Rarity, we’re supposed to be helping Rainbow Dash relax, remember? Put your wings away and stop showing off!” Twilight whispered, trying to get her to stop for Dash’s sake.

Rarity let out a sigh of contempt, and she floated lazily upwards, saying, “How can you ask me to put away perfection?”

“We’re not asking you to do that, we’re asking you to put away your damn wings!” I whispered harshly.

Unfortunately, Celestia must’ve been trolling me right about then, because Rarity’s wings caught the sunlight in an almost perfect fashion, creating an impromptu light show, casting multi-colored lights all around the room. The unicorn glanced at her wings, and let out a wild peal of laughter that I will never let her live down.

Everypony except for me, Dash, Shy, Applejack, and Twilight, all “oooh’d” and “aahhh’d” in awe.

Show-off.

“Rainbow Dash, are you okay? You don’t look so good,” Twilight said to Dash, who was now curled up in a fetal position on the floor.

Taking rapid breaths, she said, “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be okay? Everyone’s so in love with Rarity’s wings that they won’t even notice when I totally blow it in the Best Young Flyers Competition!”

“Hey now, don’t worry,” I smiled. “You’ll do fine! Besides, Rarity’s not in the competition anyways!”

“Hey, there’s an idea!” A random Pegasus pony said enthusiastically to Rarity. “You should enter the competition!”

“I could watch you fly all day,” an old worker said, nodding her head in agreement.

“Don’t encourage her!” I groaned.

Rarity looked at her wings, and smiled, before musingly saying, “There really isn’t anypony who uses their wings quite like me. Perhaps I should compete.”

“WHAT!?” Dash and I both said at the exact same time, while everypony else started cheering wildly. While Rarity and her entourage flew off, Dash fell to the ground, and said despairingly, “What am I gonna do? I’ll never win the competition now.”

…PIMP HOOF, I NEED YOU! Oh, wait…she’s gone already.

My hoof twitched in disappointment, and I stroked it with my other hoof, and muttered, “Later…”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

A couple hours later, we were all sitting in the stands of the Cloudiseum (as I lovingly called it), discussing some of the competitors that had just gone.

See, we had been sitting there for a while, waiting for Dash and…Rarity…to come out and perform their routines. For some reason though, they hadn’t come out yet. That’s not to say that the other fliers weren’t bad.

“I loved number seven! Doing fifteen barrel rolls in a row can’t be easy!” Twilight said, and I nodded in agreement.

“Peppy Hare would be so proud…”

“My favorite is number ten. She just looked like such a nice pony,” Fluttershy stated.

Applejack looked at where the fliers where coming from, and said concernedly, “Hm. Wonder how come we haven’t seen Rainbow Dash or Rarity yet. The competition’s almost over.”

…Hey, remember that Glug of rainwater I chugged earlier? I think it’s starting to…run its course, so to speak.

“Hey, ladies, I’ll be right back. I need to go use the restroom,” I said, flying off.

“Alright, but hurry! I think Rarity is next,” Twilight called after me.

“As long as I don’t miss Rainbow’s, I’ll be fine.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

A few minutes later

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“WHERE’S THE EFFING BATHROOM!?” I shouted, flying around as fast as I could. So far, I hadn’t been able to find a single bathroom, and I was really running out of time. Finally, I decided, “Screw it.”

I’m a dude. And I’m on top of a cloud.

Men, you and I both know that we would all do this if given the opportunity.

Looking around, I made sure nopony was watching, and then I lifted up my leg, and sent a stream of yellow liquid off the side of the clouds, where it plummeted to the ground below.

I only have three words for how I felt doing that:

Like. A. BOSS.

Just as I finished relieving myself, I turned back to the stadium-

-and I faintly heard a large BOOM. I looked over the edge to see a blindingly fast blur shoot by, leaving a rainbow in its wake.

…

…

…

…No.

There is no way…I just missed…the Sonic Rainboom…

OH, COME ON!

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Panting, I made my way back to the stadium, where the girls were all talking excitedly, minus one rainbow colored Pegasus.

“Whoa, what’d I miss?” I asked tiredly, leaning on the basket of the balloon for support. Wait, where’d that come from? And what happened to Rarity’s wings?

“Oh, it was amazing!” Fluttershy said enthusiastically. “Rarity and Dash went on at the same time, and even though Dash messed up her first parts of the routine, Rarity’s wings burned up when she tried to do that light trick again!”

“Really?”

“Yeah! And then Dashie swooped down from the sky, and so did the Wonderbolts, but the Wonderbolts got to her first, and Rarity accidently knocked them out, but then Rainbow Dash did a Sonic Rainboom and saved them all!” Pinkie said in a single breath.

“…I missed all that?”

“I’m sorry, Omnius. Maybe you can ask Dash to do one for you after she’s done hanging out with the Wonderbolts?” Twilight said.

“…well, she won, that’s good to hear.” I then looked at the large hole in the ground, as a crazy idea formed in my head.

“Omnius, what’re you thinkin’?” Applejack asked, worriedly.

“I’m not.” Before she could say anything else, I leaped into the air, and fell through the hole, laughing crazily. “I’ll see you at Ponyville girls!”

Aiming my body at the ground, I shot off like an arrow, and I felt a vapor cone form around me. My heart started pounding like a jackhammer, sending adrenaline through my entire body, and I thought to myself, “HA! She said she was the only one who’s done one! Well, challenge accepted and beat-”

I halted in mid-air.

“Ye gods.”

The cone snapped back, launching me away from the ground, and in the direction of Ponyville.  As I flew uncontrollably through the air, I could only think to yell one thing…

“IT’S GOOD TO BE THE TRAVELER!”

The Good, The Bad, and The Traveler

The Good, The Bad, and The Traveler

(Takes place during “Over a Barrel”)

“I can’t believe we’re gonna go to Appleloosa!” I said excitedly, trotting in place.

“Settle down there, pardner,” Applejack said, standing protectively by a large apple tree that had been prepared for relocation (what the hell do you call it when it’s a tree? Replantation? Reforestation? Re-have a new tree-ation?).

“I can’t! We’re going to Appleloosa!” I repeated, an idiotic grin on my face. “And if Braeburn is anything to go off of, then that means that Appleloosa is one of my favorite kinda towns!”

“…Twilight, are ya sure ya didn’t hit ‘im with some sorta crazy spell?” Applejack deadpanned, raising an eyebrow at her scholarly friend.

“I wish I did…maybe he’d act normal for once,” Twilight giggled.

Currently, the girls, Spike, and I, were standing at the Ponyville Train Station, waiting for our train to come and take us to Appleloosa, so that Applejack could plant one of her trees at the newly settled town. Braeburn had extended the invitation to all of us, and my inner-Texan squee’d in happiness at the prospect of going to a Western town.

Why am I so giddy about going to a Western town? Well, gee, let me think…it could be because my main guns are a revolver and sawn-off shotgun, both of which are staples of a Gunslinger. It could be because of the epic bar brawls. Or it could be the fact that I was born in Texas. What can I say? I just love me some Western action!

“So, Rarity, did you finish that outfit I asked you to make?” I asked Rarity, who was digging through her saddlebags for what must have been the millionth time.

“As a matter of fact, I did!” she said, pulling out a small folded bundle. “Though I must admit, a pink poncho and matching sombrero are some of the stranger articles of clothing I’ve had to make.”

“Sweet!” I grabbed the poncho and shoved it on, and stuck the hat on my head, grinning crazily. Standing up on my hind legs, I put my hooves to my side in the classic gunslinger fashion, and growled out, “Banditos beware…for I am…” I pulled out dual sawn-off shotguns, and aimed them at the sky, yelling, “CORMANE-O!”

Silence met my wild cry. Sheepishly, I stuffed the guns back under my poncho, and chuckled. “Uh…Cormane-o…Like Cormano, but…right, ponies don’t get Sunset Riders jokes.” I sighed, and sat down, scratching my beard absently. “Damn it.”

“Cormano? Sunset Riders?” Rainbow Dash asked, giving me a strange look. “What are those?”

I rolled my eyes, and tipped my sombrero. “Dash, Cormano is one of the roughest, toughest, bounty hunters out there. Well, in western terms anyways.”

“Oh. So…why the pink getup?”  She asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

“I have no idea! I just know that was his thing, and he gave me permission to use it!” I laughed. “I am going to have so much fun in Appleloosa!”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Fluttershy said, eyeing my poncho warily. “Did you really have to bring those guns?”

“Relax, Shy,” I said, pulling the guns out again. “They’re just really good carved pieces of timber. Only useful for firewood.”

“Ooh, goody!” Pinkie snatched the guns away from my hooves, and tossed them onto a small pile of wood she had gathered. Pulling out a match, she lit it into a small blaze, and was soon roasting marshmallows over it. “I was getting hungry just waiting around for those lazy train workers!”

I gave Pinkie a blank stare, and she just smiled in return. Finally, I let out a sigh, and mumbled, “Pass me a ‘mallow.”

She tossed me a fresh marshmallow, and I caught in my mouth, chewing irritably. That is, until I looked at some of the melted marshmallow goop on my beard, and gently wiped it off. I glance from it to Rarity, and shook my head. “Not gonna say it, too overdone,” I muttered.

Finally, after a few more minutes of waiting (and resisting the urge to yell, “PINKIE STOP, YOU’RE EATING RARITY!”), a team of ponies wearing what reminded me of train engineer clothes galloped onto the tracks, pulling a heavy looking locomotive with them.

“What’s with them pulling the train? What happened to the classic steam engines?” I asked, slightly confused.

“The engines are still slightly experimental,” Twilight explained as a team of farmponies loaded the tree (Dubbed, “Bloomberg”, by Applejack) onto the last car of the train. “They’re still trying to find a way to make sure it will last in the heat of the desert.”

“Ah, got it,” I responded.

“All aboard the 3:10 to Yuma!” A conductor yelled from the train.

I did a small double-take at his words, and shouted, “Wait, what?!”

He frowned at me, and shouted, “I said, all aboard the 3:10 to Appleloosa!”

Shaking my head, I trotted onto the train, and said, “Okay then…just making sure.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

A couple of hours later, and the train was tearing through the desert, leaving Ponyville behind us in a cloud of dust. For a while, I simply sat there, staring out the window, reminiscing over some of my past adventures.

“Pink? Really?” Spike asked, climbing onto the seat next to me.

“Hey, Pinkie’s not the only one who can do stuff like this!” I replied defensively. I then glanced at my poncho, and grimaced slightly. “Although I have to admit, it doesn’t seem to work very well on me…”

“I’ll say!”

“Thanks, Spike,” I grumbled.

“Don’t you have anything, I dunno, tougher?” he asked, pulling my dark blue saddlebag up next to him, where he proceeded to rummage through it.

I scratched my beard in thought, and said musingly, “I might have something…It belonged to an old friend of mine.”

“Really? Wow. What’s his name?” Spike asked, as he pulled an old, weathered black cowboy hat out from my bags.

I grabbed the hat from him, and replaced the sombrero on my head with it. “His name was John. John Marston.”

“Was? What happened to him?” Spike looked at me with curious eyes, and I couldn’t help but chuckle a little. Sure, I may look and act young, but I’ve still got that Grandpa’s ability of telling entertaining stories from my past. Then again, this is one of those darker stories that Ponies (and baby dragons) shouldn’t really know about.

“Well…he died, protecting his family,” I said evasively. Spike crossed his arms, and continued to stare at me. Rolling my eyes, I muttered, “There’s no shaking you and the others when it comes to me telling a story, is there?”

“Oh, definitely no.”

“Figures.” I took off the poncho, and pulled out a wrinkled, grey, once-white, shirt, and pulled it on, awkwardly buttoning it shut with my hooves. As I dressed myself, I told him the story behind one of the greatest Western epics out there…

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“You sure about this, Marston? You can run while I hold ‘em off,” I offered one last time, my twin showstopper revolvers tightly gripped in my fists.

John Marston looked at me with his tired, brown eyes, and he let out a long sigh. “I’m afraid I can’t do that, Nate. I need you to help look after my boy, and make sure he stays on the right path.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

He frowned, and then shook his head. “Well, at least make sure he doesn’t get himself killed. I don’t want to be seein’ him any sooner than I have to. Hell, I don’t want to see him at all if I’m right about where I’m goin’.” Almost as an afterthought, he laughed darkly, and added, “And for Christ’s sake, make sure he knows how to use a gun right.”

I let loose a grim chuckle at that last statement. “I’ll try, John. I’ll try.”

I peered out the crack in the barn wall, at the top of the loft, and said, “It doesn’t look good. Shit ton of them, and only a few bullets between us.”

“That’s why you’re not shootin’.”

Before I could ask what he meant by that, he pushed me over, and tossed a heavy saddle blanket on top of me, harshly whispering, “Now, quiet boy! I don’t want them finding you when this is over!”

As I struggled to untangle myself, I heard the muted thud of John’s boots hitting the hard dirt floor of the barn, and his heavy sigh, as he accepted the inevitable. Frantically, I threw out my arms, trying to get free of the makeshift net, hoping I could do something to save him, to make sure that he made it back to his family.

Just as I finally tossed the blanket aside, I heard the doors creak open, as if they had been kicked, and the sound of Marston’s revolver firing at the squad of Federal agents surrounding the barn. For an instant, I thought he would make it, or at least that I had enough time to fire off a few shots and give him cover fire. I shoved my eye to the small hole in the wall of the loft-

-and saw John Marston, the man who proved that chivalry wasn’t dead, become the newest victim of one man’s greed and ambition. Several rifle bullets tore into him, painting the ground red with his blood, and he struggled to take one step forward. His revolver fell from his lifeless hand, and he collapsed to his knees, blood flowing from his mouth. Finally, his eyes rolled back into his head, and he fell over…

And he didn’t get back up.

In shock, I fell against the wall, refusing to believe that after all that we had gone through together…

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“…He was dead,” I finished, my eyes wet with tears that refused to fall. I finished the last button on my vest, and let out a deep breath.

“Wow…” Spike muttered, breathing fire on another marshmallow on a stick. “Why would that guy do that though?”

“What, kill Marston?” I let out a grim chuckle, and leaned back in my seat. As I stared out the window, and at the desert scenery that was slowly taking up the majority of the landscape, I said, “How do I say this…Spike, some people have certain things that they’ll do anything for. For John, it was his family. For Ross, it was power. Some people will literally move the world if they have to, and I’ve seen it done before…”

“What about you?” He asked.

“Hm?”

“What would you do anything for?” He clarified, childlike innocence on his face.

I was silent as I tried to think of a good answer. Truth be told, there are a lot of things I’d do anything for. I mean, we’ve got the obvious one of my friends, who are really my true family. Not only that, but I’d also do anything if it meant saving an innocent life. In the end, I guess that…

“I’d do anything for the side of Good,” I finally said, startling Spike after my long moment of thinking. “I’ve gotta make sure that everyone is safe. I can’t sit by and let someone get hurt. It’s just how I was made.”

“Uh…okay. More marshmallows?” he offered, holding out a bag of them.

“No thanks,” I declined. Pulling my hat over my eyes, I yawned, and said, “I think I’m just gonna turn in early.” Settling into my seat, I mumbled, “Don’t need no stinkin’ bunk beds…seats are comfortable as is…”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

I was violently awoken from my slumber when something rammed into the side of the train. As my eyes shot open, my old gunslinger instincts kicked in, and immediately started to assess the situation.

Okay, train was rammed from the side, the speed it takes to shake a train like that, no matter how much mass, rules out any chance of it being an accident of some sort. Appleloosan settlers have apple trees, we’re carrying an apple tree in the rear car, most likely meaning that something wants the tree, either for profit, or other means. Willing to harm others to get to it.

All of that was thought of in less than five seconds. In that time, I was already running to the door of the train car, and glancing out the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of whatever it was that was attacking us. My eyes widened when I realized that it wasn’t a group of pony bandits (although admittedly, that would be cool too), but instead:

“Buffaloes with native feathers?” I asked, before I shook my head and fell back into gunslinger mode. Currently, the only weapons I had with me were an old lasso that was tied to my side, and a hunting knife that was strapped on the opposite side, within easy reach of my mouth.

Opening the car door, I put a hoof to my mouth, and let out a long, piercing whistle. A few of the buffalo looked at me, distracted from their charge, and I leaped out from the train, and onto the ground. If I was correct, since this train was pony powered, then that meant that I should be able to keep up with it, if I pushed myself.

Rolling as I hit the ground, I charged over to where the buffalo were stampeding as a herd, and pulled out my lasso with my mouth, twirling it above my head in the classic wrangler style. “Thank you, Applejack,” I muttered, before tossing the lasso at the closet buffalo. The rope snagged onto its horn, and I fell alongside it, tugging it into a tight turn. As it forced itself not to fall flat on its face, the other buffalo simply ran around him, neatly avoiding my rope altogether.

As it was, I managed to stop one of them for all of ten seconds. Then it snapped its head back, and launched me into the air. Flailing my arms and legs, I managed to direct my flight onto the roof of the train, where I clung desperately to the edge. Hauling myself up, I pressed my hat down onto my head, and pulled out my knife, galloping along the roof.

Amidst all the action, a small part of me was squealing in delight. I mean, come on: I’M RUNNING ON TOP OF A FREAKING TRAIN, IN THE MIDDLE OF A TRAIN ROBBERY. Not only that, but I’m in pony form, while dressed up as John Marston. Today is officially awesome.

Finally, I reached the caboose, where my instincts told me that the buffalo would try to make their move. Throwing myself down, I swallowed nervously, and said, “Okay, I’m about to do something either stupid, foolish, or totally awesome. Ye Gods, I hope it’s the last one.”

With that, I grasped my knife in my teeth, and lowered myself to the small stepladder attached to the caboose. Slowly, I reached out with my hooves, and managed to grasp the underside of the car, where I held on for dear life. As I waited underneath the car, I vaguely heard what sounded like Rainbow Dash shouting at someone, then a loud “CLANG!” as if she had crashed into something.

I glared silently, but stayed where I was. If I was going to stop those buffalo, then I needed to make sure I had the element of surprise on my side. After what felt like hours of hanging onto the metal bars, the sound of thundering hooves reached my ears, and I felt my lips curve into a grim smile. As I started to climb back out to attack them, I heard something that shattered my entire plan:

“HEEEELP!!!” Spike’s voice called out, barely reaching my ears.

Shit! What the hell was Spike doing in there!? Okay, new plan: instead of going out and attacking them head-on, I’ll have to see if I can’t get my hooves on one of the smaller ones, and use them as a hostage to negotiate the release of Spike.

…Nah, I’ll just do my usual gig:

“ESPERANTO!” I shouted through clenched teeth, before I let go of the caboose, and tumbled onto the hard tracks. My teeth rattled in my skull, as I miraculously managed to land on the tracks with only a few bruises. Amazingly, I wasn’t trampled at all by the hooves of the stampeding herd. Guess I can get lucky sometimes.

I quickly picked myself up, and charged after the buffalo, leaving the train in the dust. One of them actually turned around, and spotted me still keeping up with them. He snorted, and did a 180, rushing out to meet me. Lamenting the fact that I had lost my lasso, I gripped the knife tightly in my mouth-

And dropped it when I stumbled over a rock that was protruding from the tracks. Oops. Oh well, Live and Learn! Charging at the buffalo, I leaped over its head, and slammed my hooves down on its back. Shaking slightly, it threw its head up, grazing my leg with its horns. I jumped to the side, rolling as I landed, only to be met by another buffalo.

“You settler ponies will pay for what you have done!” He shouted angrily. Before I could ask what he was talking about, he slammed his head into mine. Stars exploded in my vision, and a smaller, petite buffalo, almost calf-like, threw my own rope around me. Hogtied, I could only let them drag me with them, while I quickly lost consciousness.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Ugh…I have GOT to stop getting knocked out,” I groaned. “It is extremely bad for my health…”

Ignoring the pounding sensation in my head, I tried to move my hooves. Sadly, I was still tied up, barely able to make any movement at all.

“Well. Still better than Vegas,” I muttered.

“Be quiet!” A voice harshly said, slapping a hoof on my head.

“Ow! What the heck was that for?” I asked, glaring at the offending buffalo. It was the same calf (well, smaller buffalo) from before, and she was glaring daggers at me, as we sped across the desert. A small part of me realized that we had left the tracks a while ago, and were now currently trailblazing. On the bright side, they had been a bit courteous by throwing me onto the back of another buffalo.

“You’re not allowed to talk! You tried to hurt us!” The calf spat.

“In my defense, you’ve kinda kidnapped a friend of mine!” I shot back.

“What, the tree?” she asked sarcastically.

“No, the dragon,” I growled, struggling against my bonds.

“The what?” This was apparently new to her, if the look on her face was anything to go by.

“Did you bother looking in the caboose before you stole it?” I deadpanned. Rolling off of the buffalo’s back, I managed to wrap the ropes around the pointy end of its horn, where it neatly cut the ropes off. Instead of landing gracefully, I once again got to meet the ground’s desert cousin.

“Ow,” I mumbled, before picking myself up. The buffalo stampede had stopped now, curious to see what I was doing. Limping, I made my way to the caboose, and hollered, “Spike! It’s okay, you can open the door now.”

“I can’t! It’s locked!” He shouted from inside the caboose, his voice finally able to be heard by all of the buffalo.

“Of course it’s freakin’ locked…Alright, stand back Spike!” Looking at the window, I pulled my hoof back, and slammed it into the glass. Flicking the rest of the shards out of the frame, I waved for Spike to climb out.

“Thanks,” he said, dropping next to me. He glanced at my arm, and added, “How come you aren’t bleeding?”

I shrugged, and said, “Years and years of practice. There’s a certain method to punching glass.”

The buffalo quickly started shouting apologies…to Spike. I was mostly ignored, except by the calf, who sheepishly trotted over to me, and said, “Erm, sorry about all of that…”

“Ah, it’s fine. Sans Souci,” I replied, extending a hoof. On an impulse, I introduced myself by saying, “Name’s Omnius…but you can call me Red. Red Marston.”

“…Uh, alright. I am Little Strongheart.” she answered, a little confused, but willing to go along with it. “But why would a dragon be traveling with an Appleloosan settler?”

“What? No, I’m not a settler!” I said, raising an eyebrow. “I’m actually goin’ there to visit with a few…friends…Ye Gods.”

I jumped off the caboose, and snatched Spike onto my back. “Hey! What’s the big idea?” he asked indignantly, holding onto my mane for dear life.

“The others don’t know we’re okay! They must be worried sick about you!” I explained. One of the buffalo leaped in front of me, causing me to skid to a stop. As I looked around, Strongheart trotted next to me, a small smile on her face.

“Our apologies, but do you even know where the town is?” she asked logically.

I face-hoofed myself, Spike joining me with a face-claw, and muttered, “That would help…”

“Night is coming. Why don’t you and the dragon stay with our tribe for the night? I’ll take you back to Appleloosa in the morning,” she offered. Her eyes kept gazing at the small reptilian on my back, and I guessed that they must have held dragons in high regard.

“Alright, that’d be much appreciated,” I finally said. “Lead the way, miss. And while we head there, you can tell me what’s goin’ on with you and the Appleloosans.”

“What makes you thi-”

I interrupted her with a cough, and said, “M’am, it’s pretty obvious. You attack their train, steal a tree, and buck me in the head for lookin’ like one of ‘em. I’d like some answers now.”

She blushed, but agreed once Spike repeated the question. As she explained the feud going on between the buffalo tribe, and the settlers (look, I’m not about to dumb it down for you. Seriously, go and watch the episode if you don’t know what’s going on. Honestly, I’m not about to summarize what you’ve already seen. There’s a thing called GOOGLE for that), I couldn’t help but feel a little saddened. Of course, there would be a disagreement with something like this…

“Hey, Omnius?” Spike asked from his perch on my back. “You mind if I go with the rest of the buffalo? They’re gonna go look around and make sure nopony else followed them.”

“Sure, kid,” I answered. “Strongheart and I will head to the camp. I wanna learn more about their ways…Maybe become the Last of the Buffalos…” I muttered the last part so that I wouldn’t accidentally cause any alarm.

The last thing I needed was to be mistaken for some crazed gunslinger who would kill them all in a moment’s notice. Besides, why would I want to kill them? THEY’RE FREAKING BUFFALO. With bison horns…huh. Weird.

XHXHXHXHXHX

As the moon rose high into the sky, I had managed to learn a lot more about the buffalo from Little Strongheart. According to her, they were a very spiritual people, believing nature and the stars to guide them. They also believed very strongly in their ancestors. In fact, they actually had a “stampeding ground” which was dedicated to them, where they would, as the name implied, stampede across it, hoping to channel their spirits. Well, something like that anyways.

Anyways, Strongheart just left to go and get Spike (or “Mr. Spike” as she had started calling him) some turquoise, leaving me to converse with the chief.

“Howdy,” I stated. The chief gazed at me with a spark of anger in his eyes, and I tipped my hat at him. “Just call me Red. Red Marston.”

“I am Chief Thunderhooves,” he answered curtly.

“I’m not a settler pony, I just dressed up like one for the occasion,” I immediately said.

“Hmph,” he snorted, puffs of steam coming from his nostrils.

“Hmph,” I repeated, smaller puffs of steam coming from my own nose.

He cracked a small smile, and said, “Are you trying to intimidate me, little pony?”

“No, you’re too huge for that!”

That got him. He let loose an earth-rumbling chuckle, and he said, “You are not as bad as the settlers. And you are different as well.”

“What gave it away? The beard?” I asked rhetorically.

“No,” he replied, shaking his head grimly. We walked through the camp, and he glanced at me. “I can sense that you hold many mysteries…that you yourself, are one.”

“Yeah, I’m just a walking oxymoron,” I grumbled.

“I do not mean it in any offensive way. I mean to say that you seem to be…not of this world.” Thoughts raced through my head, as I struggled to maintain my casual posture. He seemed to know that he had struck a chord, however, and he added, “I do not sense any malicious intent from you, though. Whatever secrets you may have, you may keep.”

“Thanks,” I grunted. “Now mind tellin’ me what’s up with the battle between you and the settlers?” Okay, I did just hear the gist of it from Little Strongheart, but if you want an accurate description, you ask the guys in charge. Once I get the info from this side of the land, I’ll make my way over to the town, and ask the sheriff (western town, has to have a sherrif!) what’s been goin’ on. Or just head to the saloon.

I haven’t gotten in an old timey saloon fight in ages.

Snapping myself out of bar-brawl memories, I listened to what Thunderhooves was saying.

“We have a long and winding stampeding trail that we have run upon for many generations. My father stampeded upon these grounds, and his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, and-”

Okay, skipping this! How to make him stop without seeming rude…hm…

“Chief!” Strongheart called out suddenly, snapping him out of his monologue. He looked over to see the young buffalo standing in the opening of the tent. “There are two ponies here, friends of Mr. Spike. They want to know what’s been happening.”

“Good. Red, join us. I don’t want to repeat myself,” he stated, maneuvering his bulk through the small tent opening.

“…Says the guy who just went on about his endless grandpas.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

After some explanations, I was sitting next to Spike, Dash, and Pinkie, who had followed the trail the buffalo left to find Spike, and we were all listening to the Chief’s explanation of the problem. Luckily, Strongheart had the sense to cut him off before he got on a roll about the “his father’s, father’s, father’s” bit.

“See, Rainbow Dash?” Spike said when they were done explaining their side of the story. “They had a good reason to-”

In anger, Rainbow Dash stomped her hoof on the ground, and half-shouted, “I’ll say they had a good reason! Come on! We have some apple-picking Appleloosans to talk to!”

Surprised, but happy that she had finally come around to their side, the crowd smiled, while Dash dragged Pinkie and I by our tails back to the trail. Strongheart and Spike followed, while I rolled my eyes, and said, “Okay…guess we’re getting the hell out of Dodge.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Hi guys!” Pinkie Pie said happily, when we saw our friends (plus Braeburn), who were just leaving town. Fluttershy hug-tackled Pinkie in happiness, while I myself was hugged by Twilight.

“Pinkie! We’re so glad you’re safe!” Fluttershy exclaimed, burying her face in Pinkie’s mane.

The others expressed similar statements, and Twilight asked, “How did you escape from the buffalo?”

I rolled my eyes, but returned Twilight’s hug, saying at the same time as Pinkie, “We didn’t.”

Behind us, an outcropping of rock hid Little Strongheart from view, and I called out, “Come on now, no need to be shy. We’ve already got Fluttershy to do that for us.”

An audible gulp sounded out, before Strongheart jumped out from behind the rock, much to the astonishment of the ponies. While she nervously pawed (hoofed?) the ground, Rainbow Dash said, “We promised the buffalo a chance to talk.”

“Oh yeah?” Applejack asked, a hint of scorn in her voice. “’Bout what?”

Throwing a friendly, reassuring hoof around the calf’s shoulders, and said, “We brought our new pal Little Strongheart here to explain to the Appleloosans why they should move the apple trees off buffalo land.”

When she finished, she pushed Strongheart into Braeburn’s face. The cowpony gave her a friendly smile, and said, “That information will be quite help-”

“That’s weird, ’cause my cousin Braeburn here wants to explain to the buffalo why they should let the apple trees stay,” Applejack cut in, shoving Braeburn closer.

“That would be a useful thing to-” Strongheart started, before Dash interrupted her.

“The land is theirs!” She shouted, flying over to Applejack. “You planted the trees not knowing that. Honest mistake. Now you just gotta move ’em, that’s all.”

Uh oh. If I know my Western movies, then that means that this town might not be big enough for the two of ‘em. I cleared my throat, and tried to get their attention, but to no avail.

“They busted their rumps here! And now they’re supposed to bust their rumps again just ’cause some buffalo won’t stampede someplace else?” Applejack retorted, now getting into Rainbow Dash’s face.

“Plant the trees somewhere else!” Rainbow insisted.

“Where?” Applejack gestured at the tall desert hills surrounding the town, pointing out, “It’s the only flat land around these parts!”

“The Buffalo had it first!”

“The settler ponies need it to live!”

From there, it escalated into a huge shouting match, with both of them arguing needlessly over who had the right to be there. Braeburn and Strongheart, to their credit, both looked uncomfortable, as if they felt that each one was making valid points, but that they’d rather talk it over calmly. I empathized with them. There have been endless times where I’ve nearly gotten into wars because both leaders would refuse to listen to the other.

Finally, Twilight had had enough, and she shouted over the two of them, at the same time as me, “ENOUGH!”

I blinked, and motioned for her to go ahead with her rant. As she told the two arguing ponies about how both sides had good reasons to stay, I edged my way over to Braeburn, and whispered, “Hey, Braeburn. Know any good saloons where I can try my hand at keeping the peace?”

“Well, I dunno what’cha mean by that, but you can always try the Salt Lick Saloon!” He offered.

“Thanks. Tell the girls I’m off doin’ my usual gig,” I muttered, sneaking away back into the town.

“What’s your usual gig?” Strongheart asked me as I walked off.

Not even looking back, I chuckled, and said, “Oh, you know. Just the usual: Help others, learn new things, and make a fool of myself. It’s a living.”

Oh, it’s good to be The Traveler.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

“So, the Salt Lick, eh?” I said to myself, as I walked through the swinging doors.  I had to say, I already liked the place: Only a few ponies, including a mare at the piano and the bartender stallion, it actually looked like an old time western bar, and…I felt like I was in my element. I don’t know why, but I always feel…relaxed, when I’m in a western setting. It must have something to do with my old time values of chivalry, and how I keep going on about how I was trained in the ways of the gunslinger.

Something like that anyways.

The moment I stepped in, a group of burly ponies playing a card game (how are they holding the cards?) turned to glare at me, and I nodded quietly at them, casting a glare of my own at them. They grunted in approval, and I trotted up to the counter.

“Y’er not from around here, are yeh?” The Bartender instantly asked me, absently wiping a glass with a fresh rag.

“Nope,” was my curt reply.

“What’ll you have?”

I cracked my neck, and placed a bit on the counter. “Just a water. Something is going down later, and I want to be sober for it.”

He raised his eyebrow at me, but he took the bit willingly enough, and set a cup of water in front of me. “We finally doing something about them buffalo?”

“Nah…crazy mare named Pinkie Pie is getting some sort of number put together,” I said, guessing that Pinkie would probably want to solve things with a musical performance. If it worked, more power to her. If it failed, then I was gonna need to see if I could talk peace with the ponies.

“Huh. Any buffalo gonna be showin’ up?” The bartender asked, placing another glass in front of me as soon as he noticed that I had finished the first one.

“Why don’t you ask ‘em yourself?” A card playing pony in the corner of the room called out, right before a trio of angry looking buffalo squeezed through the doors. The bar went silent instantly at their arrival.

“Anything I can get for you?” The bartender evenly asked, treating them as he had treated me.

The largest one, a steel colored buffalo with a decorative headdress-

Oh no. So much…just…shit. In his headdress, he had the typical feathered bit going on, but not only that, he had a bit of obsidian dangling from a coarse brown string.

Okay, sidetracking from the action to briefly explain something: I hate obsidian. See, a while ago, Torrentican had managed to capture me for about…gahl, I can’t even remember. Thirteen months? Anyways, every time I tried to Travel out of there, Torrentican would follow me (as we are the only beings who can track each other’s Traveling accurately, unless covered with some form of magic spell), and he’d torture me with obsidian weapons.

Long story short, he psychologically trained me to think that if obsidian was touching me, then I’d forget how to use most, if not all, of my magic, Traveling abilities, or skills in general. I could still remember basic stuff, and I wasn’t gonna be a wimp like Superman with kryptonite, but…well, I wasn’t going to be that useful until the stupid rock was gone.

Alright, back to the action.

The buffalo trotted up to the bar, and he slammed his hooves onto it, getting all of the patrons’ attention. In a loud, deep voice, he called out, “Settler ponies! Thanks to the pink one’s…efforts…we have decided!”

“On what?” I asked, calmly sipping at my drink.

“That at high noon, we will continue our stampede…no matter what stands in our way.”

I slammed my glass on the counter, and turned to them, a dangerous gleam in my eye. Two of the buffalo stepped back, but the leader kept staring at me. “Now why would you do that?” I asked in a dangerous voice.

“Because…I for one, would actually like to feel my hooves stomping on the heads of you useless ponies,” he growled, steam puffing out of his nose.

“Come on, can’t we all just get along?” one of the card playing ponies tried.

“Hmph. Maybe if you tiny ponies stopped planting trees on our land,” the buffalo retorted. He then directed his gaze at me, and snorted, “And shaved that mess of pubic hair you call a beard.”

The bar got deathly quiet. All of them could feel the anger rising off of me, like a heat wave, as I turned my head to stare at the steel colored buffalo that stood in front of me. “…What did you just say about my beard?”

“Are you settlers deaf now?” He spat. Putting his massive head closer to mine, he enunciated every word, and said, “Shave. Your. Pathetic. Beard.”

I got up from my seat, and lowered my hat. “Pardner, there are three mistakes you’ve just made right now.”

“Hm?”

“One…I’m from Texas…”

“So? Who cares about a made up land?”

“Two…I’ve had training as a ranger…” My legs tensed, ready to strike out at any given moment.

“What are you getting at?”

“Three…you just insulted my beard.”

Before he could respond, I pivoted on my front hooves, and used all of my momentum to spin my back hooves around, and buck him full strength in the face. He flew backwards from the sheer force of the blow, and he crashed through the window of the bar, and into the wall of the next building.

His companions looked at me with a mixture of anger and awe, and I responded by cracking my neck again, and stating, “The eyes of the ranger see all.”

As if that was their cue, they leaped into action, charging at me from across the bar. Two of the card players intercepted them however, slamming their chairs onto the buffalos’ heads, and dazing them for a few moments. Another drinker at the counter grabbed the bottle he was drinking from, and he slammed it onto the head of the poor sap sitting next to him.

Needless to say, all hell broke loose from there.

I was slammed in the back of the head by a bag of salt (the hell?), and I turned around and lashed out with my front hoof, punching the attacker in the face. As he fell to the ground, I threw a large bag of bits onto the counter, and yelled, “For the window, the chair, and whatever else I’m gonna end up breaking!”

And then, I leaped into the fray, laughing madly as I did so.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Wow…I can’t believe Pinkie’s song failed that badly,” Twilight lamented, wincing as she remembered the disastrous musical number.

“Oh yes,” Rarity agreed. “I do hope Omnius is having better luck than we are at convincing the ponies and buffalo not to fight one another.”

“I know,” Fluttershy said. “We really need to find a way to let them know that they really CAN share the land…”

“Where IS Omni anyways?” Pinkie asked.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“You gotta SHARE!” I slammed a bottle on one buffalo’s head, and threw the chair I was holding in my mouth at a pony who had tried to stab me with a pool cue. “You gotta CARE!”

Another buffalo crashed his head into me, pinning me to the counter, and I slammed my hooves onto his head in a double-hoofed blow. As he stumbled backwards, I added, “That wasn’t the right thing to do!”

For hours, we all fought each other, in the time honored tradition of western bar fights, with no rules.

Well, almost no rules.

“HEY!” I shouted at a pony who was about to slam his hooves into the piano mare. “What’s the big idea? You never attack the musician in a bar fight!”

Some of the other fighters stopped their beatings for a moment to nod in agreement with me. I trotted over to the offending pony, and grabbed him by the collar. “Sorry, but for that, you’re disqualified.”

“I’m sorry!” He yelled, as I tossed him out the doors.

“AND STAY OUT! Piano Mare, if you would continue?”

“Gladly,” she answered.

Resuming our brawl, we kept wailing on each other, until the sheriff finally had to intercede, and he hollered out over the crowd, “ALRIGHT, ENOUGH!”

We all stopped, and looked at the old colt with respect. Well, I punched the colt I was holding in a headlock one more time, and dropped him to the ground.

“Now iff’n y’all are done actin’ like a buncha foals, ye can help us fight off the buffalo!” he suggested, before galloping out of the saloon, and ducking behind a stack of hay bales. Occasionally, he would pop out from behind them, and launch a pie at something that I couldn’t see from where I was standing.

Trotting over to the window, I put my head to the wall, and mumbled, “Oh, duh. I forgot that I was supposed to be stopping this. Why did I get distracted?” I then spotted the same steel colored buffalo from before, only this time he was getting hit by a well aimed pie to the face. “Oh, right, he insulted my beard.”

“Omnius!” Twilight shouted, running over to meet me as I jumped out of the broken window.

“Well, howdy Twilight. I’m guessing your negotiations didn’t work?” I said casually, pulling her behind a wall to avoid a flying pie.

“No, they refused to listen to any of us! What about you?”

“Well, three buffalo and several ponies won’t be attending this little shin-dig,” I replied.

“Really? You managed to convince them not to fight?”

“Ow! My leg!” A random pony screamed from inside of the bar.

“…sure, let’s go with that,” I replied.  “Where’s Rarity, Fluttershy, and the rest of ‘em?”

“We’re trying to help anypony who needs it,” she answered, using her magic to catch a pie before it hit my flank. “This whole thing is pointless!”

“That it is…that it is…” I said sadly. Sighing, I trotted out from behind the building, and my eyes widened as I saw the Chief charge at the sheriff. The sheriff calmly removed his hat, and placed it over his chest, closing his eyes as he accepted the inevitable.

“NO!” I shouted. Without thinking, I grabbed the pie from where it was hanging in the air, surprising Twilight, and I hurled it at the Chief.

The Chief watched the pie fly towards him, and time started to slow down. The pie lazily floated through the air, getting closer and closer to the suspended Chief. “NOOOOOO!” He shouted in slow-motion, right before the pie hit him in the face, and caused him to land in front of the makeshift barricade the Sheriff was standing behind.

We slowly walked over to where the Chief was, his eyes closed, and his tongue handing out of his mouth. Nearly his entire head was covered in bits and pieces of apple pie, and some of the ponies started to cry. Spike just flat out started bawling, as he hugged Twilight for support.

“Um…you do realize that’s just pie, right?” I asked, as some of the ponies and buffalo aimed angry looks at me. “Seriously! He’s fine!”

As if to prove my point, a bit of the pie that had hit him landed on his tongue.  And the sheer awesomeness of the flavor of the pie apparently brought the Chief back from the dead, as his eyes shot open, he said, “Yum!”

“Told you! Buncha crybabies…” I muttered. Rarity flicked the back of my head, and I said, “Okay, I’ll shut up.”

“Hm…wait! I’ve got a much better idea!” The Chief said, eyeing the rest of the pies.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Hooray!” I shouted, getting ready to hop back onto the train with the rest of the pony folk. “The ponies and the buffalo are at peace, I got to be part of an old timey bar fight, and I rode a train, all while dressed up like an old western hero. BEST. VACATION. EVER.”

“Pardner, it was mighty fine havin’ you come here,” Braeburn said, shaking my hoof. “Y’all will have to come back and visit sometime!”

“Definitely!” Applejack laughed. “Hay, you might even be datin’ Little Strongheart by the time we get back!”

“I expect to hear wedding bells!” I laughed, before jumping onto the train as it pulled out of the station. “Goodbye all!”

As the train started to make the long journey back to Ponyville, I couldn’t help but grin at my friends. At their questioning look, I said, “I need to do one last thing before I can properly call this the end of a western.”

Jumping off of the train again, I looked at the setting sun, conveniently placed in the general direction of Ponyville, and galloped towards it, laughing and hollering all the while. I could hear the laughter of the girls, as they watched me from the train, and I gladly called out in a voice that echoed across the desert:

“YEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAWWW!”

A Night With The Night

A Night With The Night

(Takes place during “The Best Night Ever”)

I sighed, and looked at myself in the mirror. My pony self stared back at me, and I once again wondered, “What the hell am I doing?”

Idly, I tried once again to tighten the collar on my neck, only to end up accidentally strangling myself for a few seconds. Afterwards, I snarled and tossed it into the corner of my room and glared at it in silent fury.

When it didn’t burn up in a blaze of white flames, I just shook my head, and continued to stare at the reflection in the mirror. My suit, carefully tailored by Rarity, was barely what one would call presentable. Parts of it were crinkled, or hanging loosely in the wrong areas.

“Seriously, what the hell am I doing? I’m not one for these socializing party things,” I lamented. “I’m not…fancy, or anything like that. I’m a Traveler! A performer!” I slammed my hoof on the hairbrush that was in front of me, causing it to launch into the air, where I neatly caught it in my mouth. “It isn’t in my nature to act like one of them fancy ponies.”

“Then why are you even going?” Torrentican asked from behind me.

I whirled around in an instant, and hurled the hairbrush at him with as much power as I could muster. A sickly purple glow encompassed the brush, and he flung it back at me with a bemused tilt of his head.

“Oh, Omnius,” he said in a monotonous voice. “Honestly, I fear that you’ll never be able to expect these things. At all.”

The stone gray unicorn trotted forward, a strange glimmer in his lifeless eyes. “There is no need to be so tense, my ‘heroic’ counterpart,” he said, each word dripping with venom. “I merely wish to parlay with you for a moment.”

I growled, and he merely flicked his head forward, causing my chair to shoot out from my desk. Before I could collect my wits, the chair had pushed itself underneath me, while tendrils of ice rapidly spread up its sides. In almost no time at all, my lower half was frozen to the chair, and Torrentican had sat himself upon the edge of my bed.

“There. Was that so hard?” he chuckled.

“Besa mi culo,” I whispered.

“Terribly sorry, but I’m afraid I’m not in the right mindset to speak Spanish.” His horn flashed, and two glasses filled with a liquid I couldn’t identify appeared from literally out of nowhere. He offered one to me, and asked, “Care for some tea?”

“I’m good,” I answered curtly. I wasn’t in the mood for joking around right now. The asshole had just broken through all of my home’s magical defenses and managed to sneak up on me without a single warning. I was kinda ticked, and frightened at the same time.

“Your funeral,” he said darkly, sipping at his own cup.

“So what is it you wanted to ‘parlay’ about?” I finally asked. May as well cut the bullshit, huh?

Torrentican shrugged. Quietly, he finished his drink, never once taking his eyes off of me. Eventually, he nodded, and said, “To put it simply, I am curious about something.”

“Curiosity killed the cat,” I warned him.

“Satisfaction brought it back.”

“Well played,” I grunted. “Get on with it then.”

“Very well, I shall not waste any more of your time than is necessary.” He got off of my bed, and walked closer to me, until I couldn’t see anything but his almost soulless eyes. In a slow, clear voice, he asked me, “What do you see in these ponies?”

“Come again?” was my witty reply.

“To be quite fair, Omnius, you have mostly had experience in dealing with humans, or the creations of them,” he elaborated. “Yet, these ponies…I must say, it’s strange how you deal with them. You always try to put on your best show, and you seem to crave their approval.”

“Now that’s not true,” I tried to protest.

“You are willingly accompanying six mares, and a dragon who is but a mere child, to a social gathering which you actively admit is not your style,” he pointed out instantly. “You are also fussing over whether or not you’ll meet their standards. It’s disgusting, really. But that’s not the point. I’m still waiting for an answer.”

I opened my mouth to answer, to let him know what I really thought, when I realized something.

I don’t know the answer to that.

Torrentican smiled, as if he were reading my mind, and said, “Ah, you see? Look at us, Omnius!” His horn flashed, and I found myself precariously balanced on the edge of the mountain overlooking Canterlot and Ponyville. Now in his human form, he placed the tip of his pointed shoe on the side of my chair, and gestured out at the world that lay before us in the pale moonlight.

“Look around us!” he cried out. “We are immortals! Free to go wherever our will takes us, and able to learn all of the secrets that are out there! By the Nine Hells, we can outlive kingdoms! When sentient beings look out into the stars, the reason they feel so incredibly small and worthless is because they can feel, in their heart of hearts, that we are out there, Traveling !” He spun my chair around, and forced me to look at his face.

For some reason, I felt compelled to take in every feature of his face once again. As much as it pains me to admit it, he actually looks more trustworthy than I do in my own human form. Light, healthy skin, as opposed to my dark, pimple-ridden complexion, a narrow face, smooth, glossy hair, and eyes that captivated anyone who stared into them.

He smiled, showing off his brilliant white teeth, and said, “We aren’t gods. No, that is something that I am glad we will never become. They can only observe the worlds, with minimal interference in most cases, while we are able to shape the course of history!”

“But-”

“But nothing!” he spat. “You have interfered with time as much as I have, and you know it. After all, in how many instances have you stopped an apocalypse, and how many times have I created one?”

I remained silent.

“Exactly…In any case, I still ask you: What do you see in these ponies, and all sentient races for that matter, that makes you so willing to serve them?” He lashed out with his foot, and kicked my chair, sending me tumbling down the mountain. “I await your answer with extreme impatience!” he called out mockingly, before vanishing into the night.

Wordlessly, I let myself fall down the side of the mountain, and struggled against my icy bonds, to no avail though. Even as they smashed repeatedly against solid rock, they stubbornly refused to crack.

Well. This is gonna hurt in the morning, isn’t it?

I closed my eyes, and berated myself for my foolishness. I should have kicked Torrentican out of my home as soon as I saw him. I should have refused to listen to his words.

I should have remembered that I have the ability to light myself on fire at will. Then again, I probably couldn’t focus well enough to pull that off, what with me slamming my head against random outcroppings of rock every few seconds. Needless to say, there were only two things going through my head: Torrentican’s words, and the occasional bit of loose gravel that would fall into my ear.

Then, as if someone had asked, 'How could things get any worse for Omnius', I ran out of mountain to land on. I rolled off the edge of a cliff, and plummeted towards the ground uncontrollably.

“Fourteenth death, here I come!” I finally shouted while squeezing my eyes shut in anticipation of the upcoming landing. You know, I didn’t expect death by being frozen to a chair and kicked off of a mountain in a land of colorful ponies.

Seriously. Read that sentence again, and tell me if you thought that you would die like that. AND BE HONEST!

Then, as if life decided to troll me for the umpteenth time that day, the chair stopped in mid-air. Now, I say the chair did, because I still felt myself nearly thrown out of the chair. If it weren’t for the ice, I would’ve slid off of it.

Holy shit, that’s irony if I’ve ever seen it.

I slowly opened one eye to see that I was encompassed in a midnight blue aura. I was hanging about ten feet above the ground, with my head aimed directly at it.

“Cripes,” I choked out.

“Omnius? Art thou injured?” I heard somepony ask.

“Yeah, I’m fi-” The ice on my chair shattered suddenly, and my face smashed into the ground, sending my mind into darkness.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

How many times have I gotten knocked out in these stories? No, really. How many times? Was it because someone out there KNEW I was gonna be too lazy to write out all the details, and would think that it was a convenient way to further the plot? Or is it because I’m that unlucky?

Either way, I think I’ve spent enough time in bed as is. Or, erm…unconsciousness…Grammar! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

I cracked my eyes open to find myself staring at the night sky…which twinkled, and shifted oddly with the wind.

Wait. That’s no sky…that’s a princess!

“Ah, thou art awake!” Luna said happily. “We were worried for thine safety, but it appears our magic was able to heal the worst of thine wounds.”

“Thanks,” I winced. She backed away, and I was startled to see that I was in her royal chambers at Canterlot Castle. Or at least what I imagined them to be...honestly, who else would have the night sky painted as a mural on their ceiling, and have a telescope used for stargazing aimed at the sky? “What happened?” I groaned out, rubbing the spot where I had reunited with the ground.

She shifted uneasily, and said, “We were, uh, patrolling Canterlot for threats! Yes, and we saw Torrentican force you off of the mountain. We flew over as soon as we could, and managed to save you.”

“Ah. Wait a second,” I frowned. “Why are you patrolling Canterlot during the Grand Galloping Gala? Shouldn’t you be mingling with the socialites down there?”

“What? Preposterous! Not when there is the threat of an attack on Equestria!” Luna shouted, almost slipping into the Royal Speakin’ voice. “Thou art surely jesting!”

“…No,” I stated. “Thou art- I mean, you’re not telling the whole truth!” Damn it, my thespian instincts are kicking in again.

Luna raised an eyebrow, and replied, “And what proof does thou have, that could support such a statement?”

I shrugged in response, and leaned against the wall next to the bed. I didn’t really have any evidence, but I could always try a bluff check. Maybe if I guessed something correctly…okay, got it:

“Well, you’re still getting used to the new future, as it were,” I suggested. “Maybe you’re not as adjusted as most folks would be left to believe. I mean, a thousand years is a long time to be gone.” A flash of sorrow shot through me, and I let out a heavy sigh. “Trust me, I speak from experience.”

The Princess of The Moon and Night tilted her head in confusion, and I grinned sardonically at her. “What, you didn’t think that you were the only being banished to some lonely godsforsaken rock, did you?” I asked.

“You…were banished once as well?”

“Oh, several times, actually. Not all of them as long as a thousand years, mind you, but close enough to remind me of how incredibly strange I am,” I whispered.

“But…how? You are a Traveler. You can Travel to any world, at any time. Why would you allow yourself to be banished in the first place?” she asked.

“Now that’s an easier question to answer than Torrentican’s!” I shifted back into human form, and stretched out my legs. “Anyways, it’s pretty simple: I felt like I deserved, or rather, needed it.”

“What?”

I nodded. “Oh yeah. Trippy, ain’t it? I’m a Traveler, yet I was perfectly fine with sitting in one area for a few hundred years. Wanna know why?”

She gave me her, ‘No duh!’ look, and I chuckled.

“Right. Okay, well…I’m basically a never-ending battery of energy, and creation, thanks to the amount of power I’ve absorbed, gathered, and otherwise learned about as The Traveler. Unfortunately, with how unstable my mentality and power is, I have to keep it built up inside of me.” For emphasis, I snapped my fingers, and a spark jumped off from it. “I have to constantly keep mental shields up on my powers, and measure out my energy before using a spell, to keep it from all rushing out at the same time. One wrong twitch, and poof!” I snapped my fingers again, only this time a small fireball shot out and landed in a glass of water.

“Everything goes up in flames?” Luna asked.

“Something like that,” I muttered. “I’ve always gotta keep control over myself. Hell, even my Auras become more unstable over time. The Dark Auras are the best manifestation of that. Fun fact, did you know that there’s a Dark Aura for every power I have?”

She nodded, and said, “We have guessed as much. Thine memories of the power of darkness are still embedded within our mind.”

“Yeah. That was the uncontrolled form of my Shade Aura. Imagine what would happen if I lost control of myself during my Blaze Aura. I’d go from that, to Raging Inferno Aura,” I said, matter-of-factly. “It’s why I like to try and beat the problem with my own two hands first. Less chance of losing my cool that way.”

“Understandable…” Luna answered.

“That’s wildly off topic though,” I pointed out, steering the conversation back to its original point. “You haven’t answered my question about not being down at the party.”

Princess Luna said nothing, and instead chose to look out the window. While she thought of her own answer, I tried to figure out an answer to Torrentican’s question. I know I shouldn’t be letting it get to me, but the question was still there, lingering in the back of my mind.

Finally, Luna spoke up, and said, “We are not ready yet. Even now, though we are able to converse with thee in this manner, a roomful of pony nobles would not stand to be in my presence. Instead, we have elected to wait and reveal ourselves to the populace on a time where we would be more appreciated, and readily accepted.”

“Oh?” I asked. “When, and where for that matter, would that be then?”

“We had hoped to wait until Nightmare Night,” she replied. “It seems as if that would be the most appropriate time.”

“Huh.” Pony version of Halloween? Princess associated with night, and nightmares? Okay, that works! “More power to you then,” I stated. “Try Ponyville if you can. That’ll be a hoot.”

“We will have to take thee up on thine offer,” she said, bowing her head. “Now, what, pray tell, was that question that thou mentioned earlier?”

Uh-oh. EVASIVE MANUVERS! TURN SLIGHTLY TO THE LEFT! “What question?” I asked.

“Thou hast mentioned that thine enemy, Torrentican, asked you a question that was difficult for you to answer. I would like to hear it,” she said in a tone that left no room for argument.

My first childlike thought was to keep it to myself. She wouldn’t understand what I was trying to figure out, and would probably only make matters worse. But I quickly realized that she had to deal with the same problems. It was the same reason she didn’t want to go to the Gala. She wanted to make sure that her subjects would accept her, and ensure their safety and happiness. I think part of that was behind her origins as Nightmare Moon…

Words started spilling from my mouth, and I had told Luna everything. How Torrentican had broken into my home, his question, and the fact that I couldn’t think of a good enough answer.

“He wants to know what you see in ponies?” Luna asked for confirmation.

“Yeah…basically.”

She put a hoof to her chin, and thought for a moment, before nodding. “Omnius, we wish for thou to climb upon our back.”

Wut.

“Beg pardon?” I stuttered out.

“If it isn’t to thine liking, thou can simply be carried by my magic,” she offered. “But we are going to reveal the answer to thine riddle.”

“Uh…okay then?” I managed. Awkwardly, I positioned myself on Luna’s back, and gently gripped her sides with my legs.

As soon as I had gotten myself seated, Luna flared open her wings, and used her magic to throw open a set of double doors that led to a veranda overlooking the rest of Canterlot. She rushed forward, and launched herself into the sky, taking me along for the ride.

Together, we soared through the air, barely a couple feet above the mansions and estates of the rich populace. Barely a soul was in sight, minus the large gathering down in the courtyard and castle. There WAS a gala, after all. That aside, it was quite peaceful. The air gently blowing my hair back, the feeling of Luna’s wings beating beneath me…and by the Gods, if you could have seen the beauty of the stars in the night sky. In a way, it made me pity everypony at the gala. They were relying on purely superficial things, and only judging one another based on their connections, their appearances, and faces, when true nobility and beauty was right above their heads.

I may have said this a million times, but I love looking at the night sky. It reminds me of how many places I have to Travel, and how many things I still have to learn. It keeps me humble.

Wait a second…the gala…

Oh no, THE GALA! The girls must be worried sick! And Spike! Shite, I promised to hang out with him during all this…Damn it, Torrentican.

Luna sensed my distress, and said, “Do not worry. When you were wounded, I sent word to the bearers that you would be unable to show up for the festivities tonight.”

Well, there’s one crisis averted.

After a few more minutes of aimless gliding, Luna took us to the more rural side of town, with shops and small apartment buildings everywhere. She pointed my attention to one building in particular, and asked me, “What do thine Traveler eyes see in yonder bakery?”

THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGUARD!

Instead of yelling that, and ruining the moment, I stared into the window…and lo and behold, there were my friends. Spike, Rarity, Twilight, and the rest of them were sitting in the doughnut shop, laughing about something. All of the mares’ dresses were torn, or otherwise messed up in some manner, which raised my curiosity. What the hell happened to them?

“Well?” Luna asked.

I snapped myself out of it, and answered, “I see my friends…and a very good looking doughnut.”

“Focus.”

“Right, sorry. But…yeah, that’s all I see in there.”

“Dost thou feel any unease about their appearance?”

I scanned them again, and shook my head. “Not that I’m aware of, other than their dresses.”

“Then thine eyes can only see friends, and nothing else?” she asked.

“…I think I understand,” I nodded. “Torrentican asked me what I see in these ponies. Why I want to ‘serve’ them.”

“Indeed. Thou can only see thine friends, whilst we can only see our subjects, who we must always protect,” Luna said. “Not because of our duty or loyalty to them, but because it is what our heart tells us that we must do. Nothing more and nothing less.”

“Right…You’re a princess, and I’m their friend…no, not just that,” I realized. “I’m someone who can’t stand by and see someone who’s in pain. I’ve gotta do everything I can to help them. Not because it’s the right thing to do, but because it’s…”I hesitated slightly, before saying, “Because it’s who I am.”

“And who are you?”

“I am Nathan Traveler, Omnius The Traveling Guardian, and Sean Nathaniel Brandenburg. I promised myself that I would help others, and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do,” I said in a proud, confident voice.

Luna smiled softly, as I climbed off of her back and onto a nearby rooftop. Shifting into Pony form, I bid the princess good night, and slid off of the roof.

And nearly squashed some poor pony with a heavy cello case strapped to her back. Luckily, the case pretty much bounced me off of her and onto the road instead.

“Pardon me!” I apologized, scrambling to help the grey earth pony up. “I really didn’t mean to do that…say, you look familiar.”

The pony dusted herself off, and said, “Hmph. Well, I shouldn’t be surprised. After that pink pony nearly ruined my performance…but, I must admit, it was entertaining to say the least.”

“Uh, come again?”

“Oh dear, terribly sorry. I haven’t introduced myself.” The pony held herself up in a dignified manner, and extended her hoof in a remarkably lady-like fashion. “My name is Octavia Philharmonica.”

Instead of my usual name, I found myself answering, “And my name is Treble Cliff.” I gently shook her hoof, and her eyes glimmered with recognition.

“My word, you are the famous composer? I must say, I am a fan of your pieces,” she smiled. “In particular, I greatly enjoyed your ‘Ecstasy of Gold’. The crescendo of it was particularly inspiring.”

“Oh? Well, I’ve actually had the great pleasure of listening to some of your performances!” I replied. “You really did a great job with that ‘Ode to Joy’ symphony, by Beethoofen, correct?”

“Absolutely. You know, I would actually love to perform some of your pieces if I ever get the opportunity.”

I reached into the pocket of my suit (somehow still clinging to my pony form), and hoofed her a small card. “Here then. Whenever you wish to work together, give me a signal, hm?”

We parted ways, and I trotted into the shop, a large smile on my face.

And then was taken completely by surprise when I heard Princess Celestia say, “Open fire!”

“Wait, what?!” I attempted to duck, but I was too slow. For the next few seconds, I was pelted by a vicious array of sprinkled, doughy confectionaries. After my baptism by bakery, I stuck my head out of the pile of doughnuts, and deadpanned, “Alright, I think you got me.”

Pinkie hurled one more doughnut at my face for good measure, and everypony in the shop burst out into laughter when I caught it in my mouth. “Why the bombardment?” I asked while I bit into the pastry.

“Stress relief,” Twilight snickered.

“Perfectly understandable then. Toss me a cream filled doughnut?”

Pinkie pointed to a spot next to my face, and said, “There’s one right there.”

“Thanks!” I then snatched it into my mouth, and chewed it thoughtfully. “So, how was your best night ever?”

More jelly filled doughnuts collided with my face, smearing my glasses.

“Not too good then?”

The Traveler's Lament

Chapter 13:

The Traveler’s Lament

A pile of bits and pieces of metal sat in front of me, lying next to a small bowl of cleaning oil, as I gently wiped a rag across the barrel of an old revolver, gently wiping away the small traces of dirt and grime. My hands moved with the old practiced way I had learned from Roland, the man who taught me what a true Gunslinger is, while the fire cackled merrily, providing light for me to work by. I could have used the lightbulbs, or lit a few candles, but it always felt better to use the fireplace.

Once I was satisfied with how my revolver looked, I put it back together, finishing just as the sound of soft knocking reached my ears. I got up, stretching my arms as I did so, and made my way to the door. Glancing through the hidden window, I saw that it was just Princess Celestia and my friends, who were standing outside.

Hold on. Let me give my brain a chance to process that information.

Princess Celestia. Ruler of Equestria, and Goddess of Good…

Is standing outside…

My house.

“What did I do this time?” I muttered worriedly to myself. Gulping audibly, I opened the door, still in human form, and acted surprised to see them (which wasn’t very hard to do). “Girls? Princess Celestia?” I said, confused. “Not that I’m not glad to see you, but what are you doing here?”

Celestia smiled, and said, “It is not something which should be discussed out here. May we come in?”

“Oh, of course!” I said, smacking my forehead as I remembered my manners. “Come right in! I’ll go get some drinks.” I held open the door for the ponies, and as soon as they were all in, I moved the couch all the way against the wall, making some room for the significantly taller Princess (Whose regal manner seemed to make me feel smaller than my usual six-foot-two-something self), and then dashed into the kitchen.

“Okay, what do I have in the way of drinks…Coke, more coke, Mountain Dew, water, Apple Juice, Chocolate Milk…What the hellion do you give a Princess?” I scratched my head, and then shrugged. “Oh well, Live and Learn!” I grabbed a few cans of coke, and emptied them into a pitcher filled with ice, and poured everypony a drink.

“Omnius?” Princess Luna asked inside of my head.

“Gah!” I shouted, startled by the sudden unexpected contact. “Don’t do that!” I panted, my heart racing for a few seconds longer.

“Our apologies, we simply wished to inform thou that we are sorry we were unable to come. Our duties in Canterlot-“

“Say no more,” I interrupted, smiling. “I know what that’s like. I guess that you’re still gonna be listening via this…mental link?”

“Yes. We too are curious about…Celestia will explain.”

Uh oh. Why do I not like the sound of that? It always means that something is about to go horribly, horribly wrong, or at the very least, awkward.

“Um…alright then,” I answered, lifting the tray of drinks. “Thanks for letting me know?” It sounded more like a question, but Luna didn’t seem to notice. Phew.

I walked into the living room, and set the tray on the coffee table, clearing my throat to get everypony’s attention. They all looked at me, and I said, “Uh, I brought Coke. That good for ya?”

Celestia’s horn glowed, as she levitated a glass to her, and took an experimental sip. She smiled teasingly, and said jokingly, “I’m afraid I’m more of a Pepsi fan, but Coke is just as good.”

I felt my jaw drop, and I reacted the way I normally would: I pointed Celestia, and said, “Thou hast blasphemed in mine own home!” Clutching at my heart, I stumbled backwards, and pretended to grip the counter, swaying in a joking manner.

Twilight looked mortified, and she hissed, “Omnius-”

“It is fine, Twilight Sparkle,” Celestia said, a wide smile on her face. She winked at me, and I started laughing. Man, is it good to have a Goddess with a sense of humor. Not to say that there aren’t any without one, I just mean…oh, you know what I mean!

“So, to what do I owe this pleasure?” I asked, crossing my arms as I leaned against the counter.

The room was suddenly laced with tension, as everypony except the Princess shifted nervously. I frowned, but didn’t say anything, as Princess Celestia cleared her throat, and said, “Omnius…Sean…You have become quite close to these ponies, correct?”

Not even hesitating on my answer, I said, “Well, yeah. They’re probably some of my closest friends, and I’m sure that they feel the same way about me.”

Rainbow Dash walked over to me, and bumped my side, saying, “Of course we do!”

“That answers that question.”

Celestia nodded, unsurprised, and she looked me in the eyes. Her violet orbs bore into me, and I met her gaze, shifting somewhat nervously. “You have done much for this world, and introduced beautiful new music to everypony here.”

Coughing slightly, I tried to signal Princess Celestia to take back that last bit, but to no avail. Fluttershy frowned, and looked at me with her crystal colored eyes. “What does she mean by that last part?” She asked.

“Music? Why, I never knew that you were a composer!” Rarity said, her eyes sparkling as she looked at me carefully. “Although I am sorry it is not that popular, as I haven’t even heard any of your music!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Applejack asked the fashionista.

“Well, if none of us has heard it on the radio, then that must mean that it isn’t up to the standards of the ponies in charge,” Rarity replied.

“That don’t mean nothing! What if he made some different type of music ya don’t normally listen to?”

“Applejack, honestly,” Rarity said, shaking her head. “Do you really think he would write country music?”

“Uh, actually,” I interrupted before things got out of hoof. “I think you all have heard at least one song…” I shot a short glare at Celestia, who just pretended to ignore me as she took another sip of coke. Sighing, I made my way over to a large shelf which was devoted entirely to the huge stereo that took up the top half, and the large collection of records that made up the bottom. I dug through a few of them, and finally came up with a record labeled, “Magic of the Unicorns, a compilation of music by Treble Cliff.”

“You’re a fan of Treble Cliff?” Twilight asked excitedly. She stood next to me, and scanned my collection, grinning ecstatically. “Wow! You have all of his records! I’ve only got his ‘Magic of the Unicorns’ and ‘Wings of the Pegasi’ collections.”

“Um…I’m not a fan of Treble Cliff,” I confessed. I put the record in, and pressed the play button. Beautiful, eerie music poured out of the speakers, and I smiled, old memories coming to me. Turning around, I bowed to the ponies, and they suddenly made the connection.

“You’re Treble Cliff?” Pinkie asked, gasping overdramatically.

“Yep. But I technically didn’t write this music, I just brought it over,” I confessed, scratching my head and grinning sheepishly.

“So THAT’S how you’ve been making your money,” Applejack said, laughing. “What’s this song called?”

“Fear of the Heavens,” Twilight answered for me. “It’s one of my favorites!”

“Why’d you have to go and say that, Celestia?” I groaned. She smirked, and just continued drinking her soda, humming to herself all the while. “I liked having that little secret. It was a way of letting me know whether or not my friends actually liked the music or not!”

“Ya don’t think we would have been honest with ya?” Applejack asked, a tone of hurt in her voice.

“No, it’s not exactly that, but…” I tried to think for a moment.

“Does this, by any chance, have anything to do with my, erm, first fashion show?” asked Rarity, a glimmer of realization in her eyes.

I nodded sheepishly. “I figured that if Rarity would hide how she felt about your dresses, then that meant that you all would do the same for me if my music was bad. So I kept it a secret,” I explained, pressing the pause button on the music.

“Oh,” Rainbow Dash said, clearing her throat. “Uh, yeah, that might have happened.” Then, in an attempt to change the topic, she asked, “Oh! Does that mean that we can get a sneak preview of the next album?”

“Rainbow Dash, I had no idea that you listened to such cultured music!” Rarity exclaimed, surprised that her rowdy friend would be interested in that.

Irony…if she knew that most of the sounds were from video games or movies, then she might have to change her opinion…Then again, I’m not gonna tell her that any time soon!

“Girls!” I said loudly, getting their attention. “We can discuss my musical styling’s later (By the way, the next album will be called ‘Arddun Lleuad’). Right now, I think Princess Celestia was gonna say something else, right?” I turned to look at her, and leaned back against the wall again.

Her smile vanished, and she gazed at me again. “You have done a lot for this world…So, as a Goddess of Good, I will allow you to claim this world as a Home, if you are willing to do so.”

My jaw dropped, and the girls looked more than a little confused. Finally managing to work through the road block that was my vocabulary, I stuttered out, “A home? Really?”

“What’s the big deal?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Shaking my head, I told her, “Rainbow, A Home World is a place where, if something extremely bad happens to me, I’ll be able to come back here and heal myself. It also means that I have friends here who are close enough to my heart that I can call them…” I trailed off, filled with awe at the generosity of Celestia’s offer.

“Call us what?” Pinkie asked, putting her face up to mine…from the top of my vision. I chose to ignore this, and instead grabbed her in a bear hug, taking her by surprise.

“Family,” I answered, setting her down. I smiled at everypony, and hugged all of them in turn. “We’ve all been through so much together, and you all know what I do, but you still chose to call me your friend. That means that now, you’re all my family.”

Celestia smiled, and walked over to me, raising an eyebrow. Knowing what I should do, I hugged her as well, and whispered, “Yes. I’d like to claim this world as a Home.” Her horn glowed, and for a brief moment, I saw everything that the sun’s light was touching, as Celestia worked her magic.

As soon as she was done, Luna spoke up suddenly in my mind. “We have also worked to bind thee to this realm. Thou art now forever welcome here, and will always have a home.”

“If you were here right now, I’d totally hug you too,” I thought to her, smiling. I let go of Celestia, and looked at everypony. A thought crossed my mind, and I said out loud, “Um…There’s still something else, isn’t there?”

Sorrow flashed across Celestia’s face, and she motioned for me to sit down. Trembling slightly, I made my way to the slightly overstuffed armchair that I always had set near the fireplace, my “Grandpa’s Chair” as I jokingly called it, and sat down. The Princess’s horn glowed, and several cushions that I reserved for company flew out of the pantry, and made their way to each pony, setting themselves down on the ground.

As soon as everypony was comfortable, Princess Celestia looked at me carefully. She motioned for Twilight to speak with her hoof, and the unicorn cast her eyes at the floor. In a slow and careful manner, she said, “Omnius…you always say that you’ll tell us the truth about anything if we ask you, right?”

“Yeah. I might not tell you the whole thing, but I’ll always try to answer truthfully,” I replied.

“Well…Fluttershy told us about someone you used to know…” At this, Fluttershy cringed slightly, but didn’t look away from me, as Twilight continued. “And you’ve mentioned her in passing to all of us…”

Oh no. Please, don’t let this lead to what I think it’s leading to…

“And, well, she obviously meant a lot to you,” She added, still not looking me in my eyes.

Please don’t, Twilight. My hands clenched the armrests of the chair, and I felt my stomach start twisting itself into knots,

“Omnius.” She looked at me this time, and with more resolve than she must have felt, said, “You’ve talked about her a lot, but…we just want to know: Who was Jenna?”

I took in a deep breath, and let it out, trying to calm myself. Twilight had just asked me one of the only questions I had feared anyone, or anypony for that matter, would ask me. This was a subject that I still had nightmares about, as well as some of my sweetest dreams.

At my silence, Rarity tilted her head, and said worriedly, “Omnius?”

“A friend…more than that,” I answered finally, unsure of what to say. “She died.”

“Could you please tell us about it?” Fluttershy asked. “That is, um, if that’s okay with you. I know that it makes you feel uncomfortable, but…”

I remained silent, as conflicting emotions tore across my head. After a few minutes, Princess Celestia said one word, filled with sympathy, sorrow, hope, and most of all…with love.

“Please…” I looked into her eyes, and an old memory stirred. Her voice…

Taking a deep steadying breath, I leaned back in my seat, and placed a cup of soda on the table next to me. “Alright. Gather round girls, as I tell you the story of my greatest triumph, and greatest failure.” As they scooted their cushions closer to me, I opened my mind to them, and extended my conscience to them, gently touching their minds. “This is the story of how I loved, and how I lost.”

They all seemed to know what I was going to do, and as they closed their eyes, I said, “This is the story…of my Seven Days of Broken Victory.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

There was nothing but darkness around all eight of us, with a single beam of light that shone upon us. I dusted myself off, even though I hadn’t fallen down or anything, and waited for the girls to recover.

“Where are we?” Rarity asked, looking around.

“First, I just wanna say that the first pony to make an ‘empty mind’ joke will be forced to relive my Circus days, since you’re all in my mind,” I said, giving everypony a serious look.

“It just seems so-” Twilight started.

“Upupup! No! What I meant to say is that this is a sort of a mental theater. I’m going to show you three separate categories of my memories,” I interrupted. “The first will be the story of how Jenna and I met.”

A pure white door appeared suddenly, standing at the edge of the circle of light. It seemed to shine with an inner light, and there was a small carving of a heart with an infinity symbol on it placed above the doorknob.

“The next will be the story of how Jenna died.”

A worn grey door, made of heavy and slightly rusted iron, appeared then, standing to the right of the first one. A faded black shadow was painted onto it, and Fluttershy hid behind me as soon as she saw it, letting out an “eep!” of terror.

Swallowing to clear my throat, I pointed, and said, “And the last will be the story of our last week together, before she…” I couldn’t finish, and instead just watched, as the door appeared.

This door was made of a simple wood, and looked completely normal. What made it different, however, was the fact that it seemed to emanate a feeling of both sorrow and joy, along with a timeless quality that hung about it.

“Luna? Can you still hear me?” I mentally thought as I let the others take in the appearance of the doors.

“Yes. We can hear and see everything that thou art feeling.”

“Good.”

Twilight trotted to the first door, and looked at me expectantly. “Can I just…?”

I shook my head, and went to stand by her. Looking at everypony, I said, “Alright, listen: When I open this door, you will all see, hear, and feel what I was feeling during these memories. You won’t be able to speak, but you will be able to think what you want during the memory process.”

“We’re not backing out!” Rainbow Dash called impatiently.

“Alright, alright. Yeesh,” I muttered, rolling my eyes. I placed my hand on the doorknob, and gave it a twist, as the area was suddenly filled with bright light, temporarily blinding all of us, until…

…

…

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Omnius! Could you come down here please?” A voice calls out, distracting you from your current job of connecting wires so that the lights will actually turn on when the switch is flipped. You crawl out from the small hole in the wall, and bump your head on the top of the opening, and you swear instantly.

“Why is it always when I’m busy?” you complain light-heartedly, not really meaning it. You never really mean it when you complain; it just gives you a small amount of stress relief, so that you don’t accidentally take out your anger on anyone. As you stand up, popping your back as you do so, you start to wipe your hands on your jeans, wiping off the dust and small amounts of insulation from the walls.

“That’s gonna hurt in the morning,” You mutter, remembering how insulation is infamous for causing itchy skin. Sighing, you decide to stop procrastinating, and you haul yourself down the stairs, making a racket as you go down, just to bug the scholarly wizard who was sleeping in his room that you just finished constructing.

A head with ruffled black hair on it pokes out of one of the doorframes, and grumbles irritably, “Can you keep it down? I’m trying to get some sleep!”

You smile, and say, “Sorry Gordon, I just never really had that high of a stealth, you know? I need to roll a twelve or higher if I want to have any hopes of hiding!”

He rolls his eyes, but chuckles at your small joke, waving you off as you keep going down the steps of the old farm-house, modified by your own two hands to accommodate more people, and to make up for the damages Torrentican had caused in the last battle. A dark cloud passes over your thoughts, as you remember how Torrentican had kidnapped the vast majority of your friends on this world, and it was only through the combined efforts of you and Leeku, a soon-to-be God of Neutrality, that you were able to save them.

Shaking your head, you push those thoughts out of your mind, and smile, as you think about the meals that you’re planning on making for everyone once the construction is complete. Lamenting the fact that a strange stroke of bad luck has prevented you from getting a single sandwich, you finally make it down the stairs, and look up, saying, “Yeah? What’s…up…”

Every coherent thought you had just flew out the window, forgotten as you take in the appearance of the girl…no, the woman, standing in front of you. Gold-red hair flows from her head, and rests gently on her shoulders and back, catching the light and giving the appearance that her head is encompassed by a holy glow. Her smooth, flawless skin is a sort of peach color, and her eyes are as green as the oceans, and you start to lose yourself in their emerald depths.

She’s wearing white robes with delicate red trimmings, and she is leaning heavily on a worn wooden staff, carved with runes symbolizing healing and light. The bottom of her robes are covered with dirt stains, as is she has been walking for quite some time, but her smile…her smile does something you both hoped for, and dreaded, knowing that it was inevitable.

Her smile catches your heart.

All of these things you notice in the span of fifteen seconds, and as you continue staring at her, the sound of someone clearing their throat snaps you out of your love-struck revelry.

“Um…Omnius?” You turn, and notice that the current ‘Queen of the Shadows’ as you call her, is staring at you somewhat awkwardly.

“Oh, uh, hi!” you stammer out, shaking your head. “Uh, my name’s Omnius!”

The girl bows, and says, “Hello, Omnius. My name is Jenna. May the Stars watch over you, and may you follow in happiness’ footsteps.”

Remembering the proper response, or what sounds like the right answer, you say, “And may sorrow never catch up with you.”

Her eyes widen with surprise, as she didn’t expect you to know the response. An awkward silence encompasses the room, and someone clears their throat expectantly.

“Okay…Jenna, this is Omnius. Omnius, can you build Jenna a new room? She’s gonna be staying with us for a while, and as you’re still working on the rooms…”

You nod, thankful for an excuse to get out of the room before you make a fool of yourself, and you say, “Right! Sure, I’ll get on that!” You rush up the stairs, ignoring the slightly teasing tones of the sword master, Helgrind, who was watching the entire affair from the couch.

“Focus Omni!” You say to yourself, as you pull out a circle-saw, and start slicing apart panels of wood to use later. Try as you might, you can’t get Jenna out of you head, and she constantly lingers in your thoughts…

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

A brilliant flash of light lit up the room, and we all felt ourselves thrust out of the door, as it closed and disappeared instantly. Everypony blinked, and I shook my head, groaning slightly.

“Man, no matter how many times I do that, it always disorients me afterwards!” I said, stumbling slightly. “Everypony alright?”

“What…did we just…You really-?” Twilight stuttered, looking from me to the area where the door was.

“Yep. That was my memory of first meeting Jenna,” I answered softly, the now renewed memory still fresh in my head. “Before we go onto the next door, I just want to explain a few things, to clear up any questions that might come up later.”

“Please do,” Rarity stated, seating herself on the ground.

“Okay. First, there is a time lapse of maybe two weeks, maybe more, between this memory and the next one. In that time, Jenna and I became very close, sharing every moment we could together, and it frightened me as much as it made me the happiest Traveler alive.”

“Wait, why would you be frightened?” Fluttershy asked.

I sighed, and slumped to the ground, leaning my back against the rough steel of the second door. “Well, to put it simply, I’m Eternal. I’ll be around for forever, and beyond that, ain’t nothing gonna change that. Jenna on the other hand…wasn’t. She was a normal human being, gifted with extraordinary powers of healing that paled in comparison with the power her heart held. I was constantly worried that something would happen to her, and take her away from me.”

“Oh…”

Celestia looked at me in sympathy, understanding my plight. In a soft voice, she asked, “What’s behind the second door?”

I knocked on the iron, and said, “Ah. Right. First, a bit more back story: See, the enemy of Gordon held a massive grudge against him, as his father, the previous Keeper of The Tower (long story), accidentally destroyed his land, and cursed him to be a spirit that forever lived in the remains of his armor (even longer story).

“Torrentican met up with this enemy, who we shall just call, ‘The Lord of The Land,’ and convinced him to kidnap Gordon’s girlfriend, thus forcing me, Jenna, Helgrind, and Gordon, to go after him. Long story short, we fought our way to his castle, managed to rescue her, and I had to hold off the guy while everyone else escaped through a portal that Gordon had conjured up…”

My eyes hardened suddenly, and I stood up. Placing my hand on the doorknob, I said, “That’s when this next memory kicks in…I warn you, I’m not proud of this door, and quite frankly, I still have nightmares about what’s behind it…Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Already knowing that they wouldn’t back down, I flung open the door, and once more, light blinded us all.

…

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Dodging another swing of the massive broadsword, you roll onto the ground, and stand up behind the massive suit of armor, swinging your sword at his side, hoping to land a good hit. No luck, as The Lord of the Land simply places his armored hand in front of the blade, and catches the attack on his wrist. He smacks you on the side of your head with the flat of his blade, and you reel backward, seeing stars appear in front of your eyes.

You both have been fighting for what feels like hours, and as your arms seem to grow heavier, and start to burn with the weight of your sword, He seems to be in the same condition as before. Underneath his great, horned, helmet, you cannot see his face, but you get the feeling that he is smirking at you.

“What, are you getting tired already?” He asks you, his voice echoing strangely in his helmet. Not for the first time, you wonder how the hell he can speak when you know he’s nothing more than a disintegrating corpse in a tin can.

He swings at you lazily, and you struggle to bring the blade up in time to block the blow, staggering as the blades meet in the air, sparks flying. You kick out with your foot, and with a jarring THUD you push the armor back, and prepare to lunge at it, only to be swept aside by an armored backhand. As you fly through the air, you think to yourself, “Shit, I just got bitch slapped by a suit of armor. Worst. Day. EVER!”

Slamming into the wall, you spit out a small wad of blood and spit, and shakily push yourself up. Holding your sword in a defensive stance, you slowly walk towards the enemy, and try to think of a strategy to use against it.

“Are you going to stand there, or are you going to fight me?” The Armor asks you, pointing its massive blade at your face.

Your smart-ass instincts prompt you to say a bad joke, and you decide to listen to it, in the hopes of distracting TLOTL (Why could he just be called, “Lord of Land?”). Grinning, you yell out, “You know what they say about guys and their big swords! They’re overcompensating for sooooomethiiiing!”

Unfortunately, you cannot read the armor’s expression, as it lacks a visible face that you can see, but you get the feeling that it didn’t like what you said. Jumping upon this, you continue, yelling, “I use Vicious Mockery on Level Thirty-Nine suit of Cheesy Armor!”

“What are you blathering on about?”

You ignore that line, and start attacking with renewed vigor, smiling crazily all the while. As your swords meet, you shout out, “Jeez, Suits, you need to chill out! Who cares that you pretty much have no manhood? After all, if any girl DID like you, it’d be considered Necrophilia, wouldn’t it?”

He roars in anger, and sweeps his blade at your legs, hoping to trip you. You nimbly leap over the blade, and smack the side of his helmet with your own sword, never once losing that trademark crazy smirk/smile of yours. “BONK!” You yell as the sword hits him.

“Shut. UP!” The Armor grabs you with his gauntlet this time, clenching your throat, and he tears your sword out of your hand and throws it out the nearby window. He slams you onto the ground, knocking the air out of your lungs, and you see stars appear in your eyes again.

He kicks your side, and the force of the kick sends you skidding a few feet away from him, and you feel as if a few of your ribs have been broken…again.

Groaning, you attempt to get back up, but before you can do so, a metal-plated boot enters your field of vision. You look up to see The Lord of The Land, who is looking down at you with an empty gaze.

“This is the mighty Traveler of Good?” He asks in disbelief. “This is the best challenge that was given to me? I would barely call this a workout.”

“For a suit of armor with no mouth piece, or even ear-holes,” You wheeze, “You sure like to hear yourself talk, don’cha?”

The Armor lifts up the broadsword, and stabs it into your arm, a cry of pain escaping your already tired body. The sword is slowly pulled out, and The Lord of the Land whispers, “I know very well that you cannot die…but that doesn’t mean that I can’t draw out your defeat. I’ll start with removing your arm.”

He lifts the broadsword, as if he were about to chop some wood, and swings it down. You close your eyes, and grit your teeth at the inevitable wave of agony-

-and are thoroughly surprised when a CLANG sound reaches your ears. You open your eyes, and lift your head up, to see that you are surrounded by a semi-translucent dome of pink energy. Looking to the side, your heart sinks, as you see the last thing you want to see at that moment: Jenna, holding her staff in her hands in a battle stance, and with a silent fire raging in her eyes.

“Jenna,” You manage to wheeze out, the blood loss starting to get to you. “Get…out of here!”

The Lord of the Land slams his sword onto the shield once more, and when he realizes that he cannot break through the magic, he ponders the situation. You can’t find the strength to get up, and you instead focus your efforts on not passing out, and watch, in horror, as the expressionless helmet suddenly turns, and looks at Jenna.

Too late, you figure out what The Lord of the Land is planning. Strength born of pure desperations lets you roll onto your stomach, and weakly push yourself up onto your hands and knees. You start to crawl to the edge of the shield, as Jenna bravely lifts up her staff in a feeble attempt at defense, only to have it knocked out of her hands with a lazy flick of TLOTL’s broadsword.

“If I can’t break through that shield,” he rumbles quietly. “I’ll simply break the source of it.” Before you can so much as scream your denial, his sword tears through Jenna’s white robes, staining it red as he impales her stomach on his sword. With a grunt, he pulls it out through the side, widening the gash, and causing blood to flow freely onto the floor.

The shield flickers, and simply vanishes entirely. You crawl over, desperately hoping for any sign of life from the woman you love. You feel something wet on your hands, but you don’t care. Making your way over to Jenna, your head tells you something that your heart refuses to believe.

Jenna is dead.

You pull her onto your lap, and cradle her broken body in your arms, tears flowing freely down your face as you do so. “Jenna, please don’t die, please don’t die!” You keep repeating, clutching her in trembling arms. Your own pain is forgotten, as you rock back and forth, holding Jenna close to you.

With what you know will be her final breath, she looks at you, her heart in her eyes, and whispers, “Omni…us…” The light that was always present in her eyes dims, and she goes limp in your arms.

“No,” you whisper. It is not a denial, as you know that she is dead. It is rather the only word you can use to sum up the sorrow and anger you feel at this moment.

“I’m sorry,” The Lord of the Land calls from across the room. “Did I just tear away everything that was important to you? Now you have a small understanding of what I felt when Gordon’s Father destroyed my home.”

Trembling, you place Jenna’s body on the floor, and stand up. Your veins start throbbing angrily, as the blue color is slowly replaced by a pulsating black material, and your wounds start closing up before your very eyes. Your vision is tinged at the edges with pale shadows, and the light seems to run away from your very presence. Iron, rusted chains erupt from your back, tipped with razor sharp blades, and fall onto the floor, twitching with anticipation at the flesh they will surely sink into.

You know what dreadful power this Aura holds. You know what this Aura is.

The Dark Aura.

You turn to look at The Lord of The Land, and his air of arrogant confidence falters, as he watches you slowly from across the room.

“What matter of monstrosity are you?” He whispers.

You remain silent, and shoot your chains into the ground, sending them burrowing through the ground, where they tunnel through the thick stone floor of the tower, and suddenly, they burst out, wrapping themselves around The Lord of The Land, completely immobilizing him.

Lunging forth, you charge at the source of your pain, and let loose an unearthly wail, terrifying everyone around you.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

I kept my eyes closed, and sat against the next door, suddenly feeling…tired. Tears were streaming steadily down my face, and I had to continuously will myself to not sob.

“That,” I said, “Was the story of how Jenna died…and how I nearly became a monster.” Opening my eyes, I gazed at everypony there, and felt the shock and fear radiating from them. Only Princess Luna, who had seen everything through our mental connection, didn’t feel fear. In fact, she empathized with me.

Pinkie Pie was the first to recover, and she looked at me with sorrow in her eyes. She trotted over, and instead of hugging me, sat down next to me, and leaned on my side. The gesture was simple, but it gave me a clear message: It’s okay. I’m here for you, and what we just saw doesn’t change a thing. You’re still our friend.

I smiled sadly, and leaned against her. That’s something that I love about Pinkie Pie: she always found a way to make anyone smile. Confound these ponies, they drive me to feel emotions.

“You really loved her,” Celestia spoke softly. She sat down on my other side, and wrapped a comforting wing around me, gracing me with her warmth. “It truly was not fair for you to finally find someone that you love more than anything you have seen in your Travels, only to have her violently taken away from you.”

I sighed, and shook my head. “Yeah, but…what can you do, eh?” I said, chuckling sadly. With Celestia’s wing still around me, and with Pinkie now rejoining the rest of the ponies, I said, “Alright, now let me explain what happens between that and the next memory. Feel free to ask any questions you see fit to ask.”

They nodded, and I got on with it.

“Okay. Gordon returned not too long after I had transformed into the Dark Aura, and fought me, knowing that I would eventually try to return to the farm-house and potentially kill my friends there. Unfortunately, I killed him, and were it not for the fact that his Father somehow transformed into the Grim Reaper (Really really long story), he would have stayed dead.” The Ponies didn’t seem shocked, but they seemed to take on a tinge of green as they heard the story.

“In any case, the son of an angel and a demon, my friend Leeku, managed to combine the powers of his opposing halves, and somehow became a God of Neutrality. Using his newfound powers, he fought against the Dark Aura, and with a bit of magic, separated me from my body. So now, it was him, and my conscience, versus my Dark Aura. After a long and taxing fight, we destroyed the Dark Aura completely, and I was returned to my body.”

“But what about Jenna?” Applejack asked. “If yer friend’s pa was Death, couldn’t he-?”

I shook my head. “No. The Grim Reaper could only bring back one person a year, and as Gordon was the most pressing death…well, you get the idea. Anyways, so after I recover, I get a crazy idea. I go out into the woods, and perform a ritual. Basically, I placed Jenna’s body on one point of that world, and attempted to summon Jenna’s soul back into it, thus restoring her to life.”

“What about her wounds?” Twilight pointed out.

“It’s incredibly easy to use magic to heal a dead person’s wounds. Ironic, as you can’t bring them back to life.”

“Oh. Please go on.”

I nodded. “So, with the help of a song called, ‘Bounding Through Time,’ the ritual was a success…for a short time.”

“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked, tilting her head.

“I brought her with me to a Home World, and was contacted by the Gods and Goddesses of Good. They told me, as kindly and softly as they could, that it was wrong for me to decide when people should, or shouldn’t die. Sure, I could kill, but I couldn’t bring them back to life.”

Celestia nodded her head, and added, “That is very true for you, Sean. I’m still sorry to have had to tell you that though.”

“It’s fine. Sans Souci,” I grinned.

“What?”

“French for one of my favorite phrases: No Worries,” I cleared my throat, and marveled how it wasn’t dry yet, what with all the talking I’ve done this time around. “They understood why I did it though, and decided to give me a small reward for…well, various things: One week with Jenna. Seven days of Broken Victory,” I said, hanging my head.

“Why do you call it that?” Rarity asked.

“Because I had won the fight, and had managed to bring back Jenna, but at what cost?” I replied. “I won, but unleashed the Dark Aura. Jenna was brought back, but only for seven days. Then, I had to let her go, only this time I had to do it willingly.”

“Oh…”

“So, I did what I could. I told Jenna the situation, and she accepted it with the grace and sincerity she would with almost anything else. We Traveled from place to place, and I did my best to give her the best week of her life. That leads us to this final door…My last night with her. Now keep in mind, I don’t think that you’re ready to feel the entire memory…So you’ll just watch it with me, from the sidelines almost.”

Getting up, I smiled at Celestia, and placed my hand on the doorknob. “Ready?”

They all nodded, and Celestia simply took her wing off of me, and smiled. “You know what I always say…Live…”

I opened the door, and as the light encompassed us, I whispered, “…and Learn.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

[I'd suggest listening to “The Girl Who Stole the Stars ~ Chrono Cross”]

Holding Jenna’s hand in my own, I led her up the hill to the massive oak tree that stood at the top. Nearly endless stars twinkled in the night sky, and the moon shone brightly, giving us a gentle light to see by.

If my calculations were correct, I only had three hours before Jenna…

Sensing my thoughts, Jenna squeezed my hand, and pulled me to the ground with her. We lay side by side on a picnic blanket that was brought by Jenna just for the occasion, and we stared at the night sky.

“The stars are so beautiful on this world,” Jenna whispered, as if afraid her voice might scare away the peace of the moment.

“They are…”

She turned her head to look at me, and she smiled. “Tell me the story of The Traveler’s Gifts.”

I looked at her face, and never taking my eyes off her, said, “The Three Travelers, Good, Evil, and Neutral, all have special gifts, alongside their shared Traveling. The Traveler of Evil can create hordes of dark creatures, and send them to do his bidding. He can use them to manipulate, and destroy. They come in nearly endless forms that he can create, and he is only limited by his own imagination in this regard.

“The Traveler of Good has the power of Auras. He can use these to increase his strength in times of need, and with enough power, can lend his power of Auras to others, if he has enough strength. Sometimes, it is said that if you feel a cold breeze on an otherwise hot night, it is simply the Traveler of Good using his Winter’s Aura.

“The Traveler of Neutrality has something different though. She has the ability to find special people on other worlds, and give them a choice: They can go on with their lives, never once experiencing something truly miraculous, or…they can join her, as a Disciple of The Scales. They would then be able to rise to power, and use their influence to make sure that the Scales of Balance are always in check…

“But The Traveler of Good found one more special gift…He found the love of the most beautiful woman in all the worlds,” I finished, wrapping my arms around her in a tight embrace.

“You’re exaggerating,” She laughed, laying her head on my chest.

“Mmm…nah, I think I’m right,” I said, putting my hand underneath her chin as I stared into her face.

She smiled, but it slowly disappeared, as she felt Time catch up with her. “Omnius…”

“Shh,” I whispered. “I already know what you’re going to say…and you know what is truly in my heart, better than I could ever hope to say. So let’s just…” I trailed off, and she nodded.

For a while, we simply lay there in each others’ arms, taking comfort that we had each other for this last small amount of time.

After a long, heavy silence, Jenna finally asked me, “What will you do when I’m gone?”

“…What I always do. Keep on Traveling,” I answered.

“Omnius…Promise me that you’ll find love again.”

“What? But Jenna-“

“Listen to me Omnius. Somewhere, some when, out there, there are others who will need you. Please promise me that you’ll love them with your heart, for that is the only way you will be able to truly help them.” She gazed into my eyes, and gripped my shoulders with a hint of despair.

“I will Jenna,” I promised. Only two minutes left…

“Sean…I love you. Never forget that, but don’t let it stop you…”

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

She gave me a sad smile, and said, “You’ll see...” She closed her eyes, and we kissed, one last time…

Her body started to fade, and her tears flowed from her face, giving the kiss the taste of salt-water. After what felt like a year, she…

She was gone.

A gentle breeze blew through the night, and I whispered, “I love you too…” I sat against the tree, and watched the night sky, feeling, for the first time in an incredibly long while, alone. Completely, and utterly alone.

Ten minutes later, I stood up, and stared at the moon. Without warning, a voice spoke in my head. “Omnius…The time has come for you to come here, to my world. Are you ready?”

I shook my head, and answered with a smile, “No. But let’s do this!”

I grinned, and jumped into the next world, letting the rush of my Traveling push away my sorrow.

“GAAAAAAAHHHH!” I screamed, as I fell through the air.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“And that,” I finished, sitting once again in my armchair, “Is the entire story of my Seven Days of Broken Victory.”

Everypony looked at me, with tears brimmed in their eyes. “Wow…I had no idea that you’d been through so much,” Twilight said, wiping at her eyes.

Rarity was full on sniffling, and she sobbed, “That was the most romantic story I’ve ever heard…And to think, that it was all real this time…” I handed her a tissue, and she blew her nose.

“Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked, sipping at her drink, just so she could get her mind off the sorrow she had just seen.

“Yeah…I feel better actually. Thank you girls. And Thank you Princesses…I feel a lot better now.” I grabbed my cup, and chugged it, the ice cubes clinking against my teeth. “AH! COLD ICE, COLD ICE!”

Everypony laughed, and I smiled. “And Celestia?”

She raised her eyebrow.

“Thanks for letting me come here…with friends like all of you,” I said, setting my glass down, and getting up.

“There’s only one thing I can say.”

They all looked at me expectantly.

“It’s good to be The Traveler.”

Crippled

Crippled

(Takes place Two days after “The Best Night Ever”)

“Okay…” I said to myself, as I idly tapped a few icons on a floating holographic screen. I scratched my beard as I tried to put the puzzle pieces together.

Currently, I was standing in The Vault, at the center of the Timeless Library, while Ivy supplied me with various notes and charts. The screen in front of me was cluttered with notes on Shadow-Stalkers and the amount of them spotted in the area during the last few weeks.

“Ivy, bring up the map of the Everfree forest again, and highlight the areas the Imps have been detected in,” I said, brushing away a few charts from the screen in order to clear up some space.

“Yes, sir,” she replied, as the space I cleared was filled by an immense top-view map of the forest. I had flown over it in my Pegasus form several times, and used my memory to get the map as accurate as possible. Gotta say, when you combine magic with technology, you can do some pretty amazing things. A moment later, various spots of the map were coated with red, signifying the Imps that had been spotted all over the Everfree, leaving only a few small patches of green.

I stared at the red blots, and cursed. “That didn’t work! What is Torrentican up to?” I started pacing, and went over the facts out loud, speaking to Ivy, even though she wouldn’t be able to say what she thought about the situation.

“Alright, so for the past few weeks, no stalkers have been detected in the area.  In fact, it almost seems as if they’ve disappeared entirely, and there’s been no sign of Torrentican’s magic being used around here at all! What is that bastard up to?” I asked myself, letting out a frustrated sigh.

I was so enwrapped in my thoughts, that I almost didn’t hear it when Ivy said, “Life-form detected at door.”

Cursing silently to myself, I jogged out of the Timeless Library, my slippers somehow still managing to find a way to make a racket as I went. Grabbing some of the notes I had written in an attempt to keep track of my scattered thoughts. Ye Gods, but I needed some caffeine, or sleep, stat. As I ran up the stairs, I called out to Ivy, “Do me a solid and send the rest of my notes to my coffee table. Make sure they’re in paper form please!”

“Very well sir,” Ivy complied, as the sound of a printer turning on echoed throughout the Vault. Pushing my glasses onto my face, I climbed up the many stairs, and returned to House Level.

Glancing through the peephole in my door, I was surprised to see that Twilight Sparkle was standing there, waiting patiently. “Hey Twilight,” I greeted her, not even bothering to switch to pony form. “What’s goin’ on?”

She trotted inside, and replied, “You tell me. After all, you were the one who asked me to come here.”

I smacked my forehead, and muttered, “Oh yeah, I did do that, didn’t I?” Vaguely recalling that the other day, I had asked Twilight to help me out with a few notes, I threw the papers onto the coffee table, where they haphazardly landed on a small mountain of papers that Ivy had ever so kindly sent up for me. Note to self: Ask her to ORGANIZE them next time.

Sagging into my chair, I let out a groan, and covered my face with my hands. After giving me a concerned glance, Twilight asked me, “Omnius? Are you okay?”

“No, not really.” I took off my glasses, and started wiping them clean of dust on the edge of my shirt. “I’ve been up all night, trying to figure out what Torrentican is planning.”

That got her attention. Twilight’s eyes instantly lit up, and she started going through the papers. “He’s planning something? How can you be sure?”

Biting back an irritated shout, I instead chose to say, “For one thing, there’s been no sign of any kind of Stalker activity in the area. I’ve been going over the map for a couple hours, but they all seem to have disappeared entirely. For another, it’s Torrentican,” A shadow passed over my face, and I added, “He’s always planning something. And every plan always has one little thing that he can benefit from, even if it fails.”

Twilight gulped audibly, but tried her best not to let her face show anything. “Alright, but why did you need me?”

“Twilight, you’re the town’s resident genius. I need to try and come up with a counter-plan to go against whatever ‘Ace in the Hole’ Torrie’s planning.” I sifted through some of the papers, and came up with a large map.

“Let me get you caught up Twi,” I said, laying the map out flat on the floor. Grabbing a green marker, I said, “Alright, so lookie here.” I started marking off spots on the map, and said, “These are where I’ve found the Stalkers before. As you can see, they’ve pretty much been all over the forest, and have tried to get into Ponyville from nearly every possible angle.”

“Go on,” Twilight said, understanding me.

“Now, as I can safely bet that Torrentican is up to something, I’ve been attempting to compare the patterns of the Stalker movements, and placements.” I reached over, and grabbed a diagram of some complicated magic circles (Circles can be complicated! First you need to draw a head, and then erase some of the lines, to make a perfect one!), and compared them to the markings on the map. “Unfortunately, they don’t match anything I’ve got! Their movements have no rhyme or reason to them! It makes no sense!”

“What about recently though?” Twilight asked.

I was silent for a moment, before answering, “…Beg pardon?”

“Well, if you’re worried about them attacking, wouldn’t you see where they’ve been lately? If they’ve been moving in any specific direction?” She asked logically.

“TWILIGHT, YOU’RE A GENIUS!” I shouted, scooping her up into a hug. “I’ve been looking at this as if Torrentican has been planning in the long term! What if he’s just barely started this!? That would explain why we haven’t seen the Stalkers lately!” I pressed a button on the table, and relayed some instructions to Ivy. After that, I kept going, saying, “See, Torrentican knows that I know that he knows that I know how he works! So he’s become unpredictable, which is what I predicted , but he didn’t know that I know how to predict unpredictableness! So he did something that’s unpredictably predictable, which I should’ve seen coming!”

I dashed over to my bookshelf, and pulled down a few notes I had pinned up there, and kept going. “It’s all so obvious now! Does this make any sense to you Twilight?”

She shook her head, and I nodded. “I couldn’t agree more! WHERE IS THAT DAMN MAP!? I’M ON A DEDUCTIVE ROLL, AND I DON’T WANT MY GROOVE THROWN OFF!”

Not even a second passed before a holographic map appeared on the table. Grinning madly, I grabbed some of the notes, and said, “Twilight, help me out here! Where were the Stalkers last detected?”

Five minutes of frantic note-gathering, and comparing, we had now illuminated the map with different colors, representing where the Stalkers were, and where they were moving…to…oh no.

“Twilight, are they headed to where I think they’re headed?” I asked, feeling the blood drain from my face.

“It looks like they’re heading towards Canterlot…” Twilight whispered.

Gears started turning in my head, as I considered what had been happening the past few weeks, and I started talking out loud. “According to the map, there was a short period of maybe three weeks without an increase in Shadow-Stalkers, and then when it finally did increase, it was only by a small margin of maybe four or five. Compare that with the New Moon that happened recently, and it implies that Torrentican was saving his power to create an extra-strength Stalker…or Stalker Squad.”

“What does that have to do wi-“ In my rant, I interrupted Twilight. I was on a deductive roll, and I started running Torrentican’s past exploits underneath a new light.

“When he brought Slendermane here, he didn’t really mean for it to get rid of me, he meant to see if my magic could affect a God of Evil. And as he knows that our magic works in the same basics, he then learned that he could potentially screw with Gods!” I got up, and looked through the notes, until I came up with one that had a diagram of two Ursa Minors on it.

“When he corrupted that Ursa, he wasn’t just trying to get it to attack the town! That was just an added benefit when he taught Trixie that spell that turned you into a child! You see, he also learned that he could steal the magic of others, and transfer it into a separate living being! Not only that, but he also somehow managed to twist the magic into doing what he wanted, in this instance, enhancing the strength and size of that Ursa by using Trixie’s stolen magic!” I stopped suddenly, as all the pieces fell into place.

“Omnius?” Twilight said, after a few moments of silence.

“Twilight, write the Princess a letter, NOW!” I shouted, summoning my sword, and kicking open my front door.

“What?!” She shouted, following me.

“Twi, Torrentican is moving a squad of powerful Shadow-Stalkers to Canterlot! He knows that his magic can affect a God! He’s targeting one of the princesses! I need you to warn her, and gather the girls in case he tries to attack you!” I explained, already running down the path.

“Wait!” Twilight called after me.

“WHAT?!” I shouted, turning around to look at Twilight.

“Are you really going to charge into battle, wearing Snoopy pajamas?” She asked seriously, looking at my unusual attire. Admittedly, it was a little weird…see, I like to study my notes in comfort, and nothing’s more comfortable than a pair of sweatpants with pictures of Snoopy riding his doghouse, dressed as a WWI flying ace.

“…You’re right!” I shouted. I ran back inside, and grabbed a key component that I had forgotten. “Thanks Twilight! I almost forgot my elephant slippers!”

Twilight groaned, and I said, somewhat defensively, “What? I like my slippers! Now GO!”

With that, I summoned my Speed Aura, and ran as fast as I could towards Canterlot, hoping that I wasn’t too late.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

When I reached Canterlot, I made sure to stick to the back alleyways, and occasional sewer paths, to avoid being spotted.  As I reached the threshold of the Royal Palace, I felt Princess Celestia in my head.

“Omnius? What is going on? I got Twilight’s letter, warning me that something is coming, but she didn’t specify what, only that it was going to attack the palace.”

“Princess, find Luna, and get to somewhere safe! Tell the guards to be on the lookout for anything that looks ready to kill…other than me!”

A few moments passed, before I heard Celestia respond, “All right, I’ve found Luna, but what is so dangerous that even the two of us can’t handle it?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t wanna find out! Just get out of there before Torrentican shows up!” I shouted, just barely avoiding the gaze of several guards.  Spotting an open window, I quickly climbed into it, and found myself inside of the hallway leading to the throne room. If I knew my Shadow-Stalkers, then they would head to the first place that their target would normally be found. Therefore, I had a chance at ambushing them!

Just as I prepared to open the doors, I stopped suddenly. A chill crept up my spine, as I realized that there weren’t any guards next to the doors. Strange, because they always are posted there...aren’t they?

Pressing my ear against the door, I strained my senses in an attempt to track down anything that might be lurking in there, waiting to attack whatever might be unfortunate enough to wander in there. All I could make out was the sound of heavy breathing, and maybe the occasional rasp of metal plates moving slightly.

With a sense of dread, I turned my Traveler’s Blade over in my hand, and removed the current Rosary keychain from it, causing it to flash brightly, before becoming an unassuming blade once again. I closed my eyes, and opened a small pocket dimension, placing the rosary inside of it, and pulling out a different Keychain.

“Alright…if my fears are true, I’m gonna need some serious strength to deal with them…so, I’m gonna go with Maverick Hunter on this one,” I muttered to myself, as I attached an orange “Z” to the blade.

I felt power surge through the sword, and it instantly changed shape, morphing before my eyes. The hilt quickly bent into the shape of a diamond, with a smooth, copper colored grip, as the blade thinned out, and went from being a silvery metal, to a glowing green field of energy. Another “Z” extended from the top of the blade, forming the teeth of the Keyblade, and signifying the blade’s transformation.

Nodding, I swung the blade, adjusting myself to its new, almost weightless, form, and let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. I brought up my slipper covered foot, and kicked the door open, ready to fight.

Without warning, a sword slashed down at my face, and I was barely able to bring up the Maverick Hunter to block it. I pushed out with my foot, and managed to get some space between me, and whatever had just tried to cut my face off.

As I jumped back, another attacker tried to impale me on a serrated spear, barely missing my stomach. Slashing at the spear with my sword, a metal boot suddenly lashed out, and hit the back of my leg, forcing me to fall to my knee.

With a frenzied slash, I blocked the battle-ax that was thrust at my exposed side, and rolled out of the way, before I

could get attacked again. I put my back against a wall, placing myself into a defensive stance, and took a second to take a look at my opponents…and then felt my blood freeze in fear.

Standing in front of me were three Shadow-Stalkers, each of them clad in a mixture of burned chain-mail and plate armor. Where once there might have been shining, platinum armor, now there was just a soot-blackened mess…yet asides from that, the armor was flawless, without even a single scratch to mar it.  From underneath black, bucket shaped helmets, red eyes glowed with an intense, violent hatred, and fury, eager for a victim to have at their mercy.

These were one of Torrentican’s most powerful Shadow-Stalkers that had been designed with only one purpose: Kill me, and anyone who would fight with me. They could only be created when a great warrior had fallen, and Torrentican had managed to claim their soul.

I guess that’s what made their name so fitting: Fallen Guardians. These were masters of melee fighting, going nearly unmatched in a one-on-one fight. Almost nothing could pierce their armor, and they were incredibly agile, with lightning fast reflexes, and knew how to use their weapon to the utmost usefulness.

And there were three of them standing right in front of me, each one looking very, very, very pissed.

Today just isn’t my day, is it?

I readied my blade, and waited for them to make the first move. Unfortunately, they seemed content to wait just as long as I would, and didn’t seem to be in any hurry…but why would they-

“GET THINE HANDS OFF OF OUR SISTER!” I heard somepony shout, and the next piece of the puzzle fit into place…

The Fallen Guardians weren’t the ones who were going to do something to the princess…

Torrentican was. They were just the distraction.

“No!” I shouted, rushing forward, and slashing at the ax bearer. He brought the head of the ax down, blocking my attack, and the other one thrust his spear at my arm, tearing away a chuck of my shirt, and a fair amount of flesh. I grimaced, and felt the force of the attack knock me away from the ax wielder, and I was thrown onto the floor, landing on my bad shoulder.

Without warning, a blinding beam of light shot through the wall, knocking aside a pillar, and probably saving my life. I got up, and heard Princess Luna shout, “AWAY WITH THEE! GET AWAY FROM- Ugh!” There was the sound of a metal object hitting flesh, and I felt my blood run cold.

“Luna!” I shouted, as I crawled through the rubble, and into the hole. What I saw…didn’t lift my spirits.

Princess Luna, her hair twinkling with small stars, as she slowly regained her former power, was lying on the ground, while a familiar figure stood over her, clutching a staff made of copper colored material in his hands.

“Torrentican!” I shouted in anger.

The Endless Traveler of Evil turned around, an amused smirk on his face, and said, “Hello, Nathan. Enjoying my friends’ company?”

“What have you done to Luna? Where’s Celestia?!” I lunged forward, but one of the Fallen Guardians had caught up to me, and used his sword to prevent me from going further.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” Torrentican chuckled, his hand glowing as he started to draw magic symbols in the air. “I’m surprised that you haven’t figured it out. But, I’ll indulge your little games…I’m taking Celestia. Those Fallen Guardians will kill you, and prevent you from rescuing her anytime soon. By the time your return, I’ll have drained her power, and used it to destroy this pitiful world. I’ll also have drained Luna of her power, and then I’ll move on to another world, and repeat the process.”

After he said that, he smiled, and added, “And by that time, you’ll be too weak to match my power, and so will the Traveler of Neutrality. And then…well, I guess that you will have to wait and find out, hm?”

He laughed, and as he faded away, he said, “Guardians? Kill him, and return to me with Princess Luna afterwards.”

The Fallen Guardian in front of me lifted his sword, and hit me with the flat side of it. I flew through the air from the sheer force of the blow, and crashed into the ground next to Luna.

“Omni…us…” Luna whispered, lifting her head to meet my eyes.

With a pang of terror, I realized that this was all too familiar…I blinked, and for a moment, I saw Jenna instead of Luna, her life’s blood once again pouring onto my arms, while the Lord of the Land stood in place of the nearest Fallen Guardian, laughing at me once again.

A surge of energy poured into me, and I pushed myself up. “Not…again…” I wheezed, clenching Maverick Hunter in my hands. Glaring defiantly at the Stalkers in front of me, I growled, “I don’t care if I die, and I don’t care if you’re evil or not. No one will lay a finger on my friend!”  The sword glowed suddenly, and the “Z” emblem started to rapidly flash, surprising all in the room.

“What the-?” was all I had time to say, before I started transforming. Red and white pieces of armor were summoned from what seemed to be out of nowhere, before attaching to various sections of my body.  I felt my senses sharpen, as everything seemed to come into focus. I swung Maverick Hunter, and realized that it was giving me this form…but how?

As if in answer, a voice whispered in my head, “I never cared about justice, and I don't ever recall calling myself a hero... I have always only fought for the people that I believe in. I won't hesitate... If an enemy appears before me, I will destroy it!”

“Zero…” I whispered, touching my helmet’s blue gem. “You were the one who gave me this keyblade…but did you give me more than just that?”

The Fallen Guardian stabbed at my torso, trying to carve out my heart, but I found myself easily sidestepping it, and slashing it across its breast plate, leaving a long gash in the armor.

It staggered back, obviously surprised that its prey had suddenly gotten more powerful. I found myself glaring angrily at it, as I put myself into a battle-stance, deliberately placing myself between the Stalkers and Luna.

Before the Stalker could recover, I rushed it, bringing Maverick Hunter up to it, and slashed at the same tear in its armor, widening it, and causing shadows to slowly pour out of it. Just before it could counter, my sword lit up in an angry blaze, and I slashed upwards with it, and jumped into the air, taking the stalker with me.

“Ryuenjin!” I shouted, sounding as if I had two voices for an instant, unleashing the fire onto the stalker. Just before we hit the ground, I positioned myself above it, and Maverick Hunter started to cackle with electricity. In the blink of an eye, I appeared on the ground, as a small trail of lightning followed me in my wake, tearing into the Fallen Guardian. “Raikousen!”

With a roar of agony, the Fallen Guardian disappeared. The Spear user decided to try its own luck, and started attacking me, rapidly thrusting its spear at me, taking full advantage of the weapon’s long reach. Every time I tried to get close enough to land a hit, I would be met by the spearhead that had already torn apart my arm earlier. As if that weren’t bad enough, the Ax wielder was slowly starting to flank me, and he slowly made his way into a position that would let him take me down with a clean chop to the neck.

“Damn!” I shouted in frustration, as I felt myself be backed into a corner. Unless I could whip out a miracle right now…wait!

Acting on instinct, I slashed downwards with Maverick Hunter, and shouted, “Hadangeki!” A wave of energy shot out from the slash, and hit the Stalker right down the middle, causing him to stumble, and stop his onslaught of attacks.

That’s all I needed. Leaping forward, I rapidly slashed at the Guardian, relentlessly tearing into its armor with a methodical way that I know Zero himself would be proud of. Slashing its armor open, I stabbed where its heart would’ve been, and said, “Out of my face!”

The Fallen Guardian disappeared, leaving only the ax wielder. This time, I rushed at it, and felt power surge forward into the blade. I stabbed it into the ground in front of the monster, and unleashed all of my energy, shouting, “TENSHOUHA!”

A massive pillar of light rained down onto the Shadow-Stalker, engulfing him in a torrent of burning energy. As the light dimmed, I felt the aura disappear, leaving me standing in my pajamas again, clenching Maverick Hunter in my left hand. Wearily, I looked into the small crater in front of me, and scowled at the mass of twisted metal that lay inside of it. Stumbling slightly, I made my way over to Luna, and fell to my knees on the ground next to her.

“Princess?” I asked quietly. When she didn’t respond, I said, “Luna, please…can you hear me?”

She stirred, groaning slightly, and her eyes cracked open, filling me with relief. We both smiled at each other, and I said, “Are you alright?”

Luna nodded, but then a horrified expression appeared on her face. “Omnius, behind you!”

I turned, and saw that the Stalker had crawled out of the crater, and was standing right behind me. With a downwards cleave, it tore its ax through my arm, and I felt myself scream in pain. A midnight blue glow encompassed my sword hand, and Maverick Hunter shot upwards, cutting off the head of the Fallen Guardian in retaliation.

As it faded away, I turned back to Luna, and gave her a smile. “See? We’re fine…” I then felt dizzy, and looked to where the ax had tore into my arm…and saw a mangled mess of flesh and blood, and duly noticed that my entire right side was drenched in red.

“Well…” I mumbled wearily, looking back at Luna. “Bullocks.”

Darkness overtook me, as I fell onto the ground, passed out.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

The sound of beeping machinery reached my ears, and I groggily felt my eyes open, only to be met with a blinding light. Wearily, I tried to lift my arm to rub my eyes, and was worried when it didn’t respond. To my left, I saw that my glasses were lying on a bedside table, and I grabbed them, haphazardly shoving them onto my face. I don’t know why, but my right arm wasn’t responding to my commands, but at least I was alive.

“Is anyone there?” I weakly called out, wanting to figure out where I was. Suddenly, I felt myself get tackled on my right side, and I found myself being hugged by Fluttershy.

“Oh my gosh, you’re alright!” She exclaimed, burying her face into my shirt, and crying slightly. “We all thought that you weren’t going to wake up! You lost so much blood…”

“Hey, it’s alright,” I reassured her. “I’m right here, and I’m in one piece, right?”

She remained quiet, and I felt her tense up. Uh oh…

“Fluttershy?” I asked softly. “Why can’t I use my right arm?”

Whimpering slightly, she let go of me, and stuck her head out the door. “Girls? He’s awake…”

“Fluttershy, you’re not answering me…” I stated, worriedly.

She remained silent, as the rest of our friends filed into the room. I didn’t like the looks of both relief/worry on their faces, but I tried to remain optimistic.

“Will somepony tell me what’s going on? What happened?” I asked.

Twilight cleared her throat, and said hesitantly, “Well, Luna told me what happened…You came to the palace, just in time to get rid of those Shadow-Stalkers…but Torrentican got away with Princess Celestia, although you stopped him from taking Luna. When you passed out, Luna managed to heal you, and she put you in a private room of the Palace…then we got here, and she told me where we could find you…but Celestia is still missing.”

My eyes widened, and I grabbed the bed sheet that was currently covering me, and tossed it off. “Well, come on then! What are we standing around here for; we’ve got to save Celestia!”

“Wait, Omnius-“ Rarity tried to stop me, but I had already gotten up.

“What’s wrong? Why is everypony…staring…at my arm…”

I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat, and shakily lifted my left arm up. Gingerly, I felt for my shoulder, and probed its skin gently. Then, I gradually brought my hand down to where my upper arm should’ve been…and found nothing.

“Girls…where’s my arm?” I asked, my heart stopping for a moment.

“You lost it in the fight earlier…We couldn’t ask the doctors to reattach it, because you were in human form, but…” Pinkie trailed off, her hair deflating slightly.

Oh…

This is…

This is new. I’ve never lost a limb before. Well, technically, if I did, I’d end up regenerating on another world, but since I didn’t die this time around…I guess I’m now missing an arm. And Torrentican has Princess Celestia, and is preparing to drain her of her magic.

“That doesn’t change anything,” I finally said after a long moment of silence. “We’re still gonna find Torrentican, and when we find him, I’m gonna kick his ass into the next century!”

“But you don’t have an arm!” Applejack half-shouted. “How are you gonna fight him, when yer right arm, which ya use for fightin’, is gone?”

“Simple. I’ll get another arm,” I answered. My left hand reached outwards, and summoned my Traveler’s Blade into the room.

“How are you going to do that?” Rarity asked, looking at me with concern in her eyes.

To answer her, I simply willed the blade to change shape, transforming it from Maverick Hunter, into a blue and cyan colored gauntlet. Holding it in my left hand, I put the open end onto my…wound, and poured a little magic into it. There was the sound of whirring gears, and electronic clicks, as needles shot out of the gauntlet, and into my shoulder, injecting my body with nanites.

“Omnius, what are you-“

The gauntlet extended suddenly, merging onto my body, and forming the unmistakable shape of an arm, albeit blue and cyan, with metal plates attached to it. I clenched it into a fist experimentally, and heard a robotic voice say, “Buster System Online.”

“Activate regenerative nanites,” I ordered. With a beep announcing the order’s activation, I grit my teeth against the temporary pain.

“Nanites activated. Full condition in approximately: 24.867 hours.”

“Good…” I gasped, as the pain left just as suddenly as it came. My glasses flashed, and a small bar of energy appeared, revealing the ammo gauge. As it was on normal buster mode, it wouldn’t drop, but it was there to signify that it was active. Good, good.

“What is that?” Pinkie asked, looking at my new arm curiously.

“This,” I said, experimentally rolling my arm, “Is the third part of my Traveler’s Blade: The Mega Buster. It’ll be my temporary arm until the medical nanites it injected finish re-growing my new arm inside of it. Unfortunately, that means I won’t be able to shift into pony form for a while, or use magic that requires two hands to use.”

“Impressive,” Twilight said. “But what can it actually do? I mean, if we’re going to- Wait, you said, ‘We’?”

“Yep,” I said dismissively. “We all know that if I tried to stop you, you’d end up coming, and Pinkie’s Pinkie senses would tell you if I tried to sneak away. So I’m just not gonna try.”

“Oh…but my point still stands: If it can’t do anything, then shouldn’t we-“

I rolled my eyes, and aimed my arm at the window, and said, “It does this!” With that, I let loose a small charge shot, and a blazing orb of energy shot out into the open sky, luckily avoiding any Pegasi that might have been flying.

Turning to the stunned gazes of the ponies inside, I stated, “Come on. We’re going to my place.”

“Why?” Rainbow Dash asked, already flying out the door to check for anypony that might be nearby.

“Because…You’ve only seen me when I go into battle unprepared,” I said, walking outside. “Not this time though…”

Apparently, while I was out, the Canterlot Pegasi had moved in a few storm clouds, and it was now pouring heavy drops of rain.

Looking into the sky, where the sun normally would’ve been around this time, I clenched my robotic arm in anger.

“Celestia…I’m coming. We’re all coming.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

In a dark cave, somewhere just a little ways away from Ponyville, a dark figure laughed. He had foreseen this event happening, but not the added benefit of his nemesis being…crippled. It held such a dark humor to him that he couldn’t help but laugh. As soon as he managed to contain his mirth, he turned his cold gaze to the wrought-iron cage that sat at his side. Inside, laid the key to his success.

“Dear Princess Celestia,” He started, “Today, I learned that not only can my most powerful tranquilizer spell work on you, but all I need to take down your sister is just a staff, and a good whack on the head. I also learned that Omnius doesn’t need to die when he loses a limb, and that I can potentially use this to his disadvantage.

“On another note, it would appear that using a magically reinforced cage, and a ritual-circle, I can contain your power, for the most part, until you slowly bend to my will, and grant me what I desire.

“Your most hated enemy, Torrentican, The Endless Traveler of Evil.”

Celestia glared at Torrentican, and had to resist the urge to attempt to unleash her fury on him. The first time she had tried that, her magic had been redirected back into her, causing her immense pain. She didn’t want to give Torrentican the satisfaction of knowing that got to her, and instead decided to play mind games of her own.

Smiling, she said, “I wonder, Torrentican, if you know something that I know…”

Torrentican raised an eyebrow, but remained silent.

“You claim to be immensely powerful, and that nothing scares you, not even the gods…but I think there is something that terrifies you,” Celestia said. Torrentican frowned, but let her continue. “Something that reminds you of your own flaws, and that repeatedly proves to be the stronger one. Someone that will always return, and you know that you are powerless to stop him.”

Torrentican frowned slightly, and he whispered, “You honestly think that HE scares me? That weak-minded, pathetic excuse for a-”

Celestia interrupted him, sensing that she had hit a nerve. “You fear him, because he is the only one who is capable of thwarting your plans, and because he doesn’t fear you: only what you’d do to his loved ones.”

The Evil Traveler smirked, and shook his head disdainfully. “You believe that I am scared of him? Of that buffoon?”

“He is the only one you truly fear.”

Without saying a word, he left Celestia, snapping his fingers as he went. All of the light in the room disappeared, and left Celestia in the dark, alone and cold.

Black Hearted Hero

Black Hearted Hero

Clenching my fist, I threw open the door to my house, with the girls close behind me, each of them already wearing a saddlebag filled with supplies.

“So what’s the plan?” Twilight asked, looking at me as she pulled out a scroll and quill, ready to create a paper version of whatever I had in mind.

Remaining silent, I instead went over to my shelf, and started scanning the books that lined it. At the sight of a blue book with silver bindings, I quickly grabbed it, and flipped it open to page thirteen. Muttering as I went, I walked over to the fireplace and tore out the page, crumpling it, and tossing it onto the ashes.

“What are you doing?” Pinkie asked, for once confused by someone else’s strange antics.

I kept quiet, and aimed my buster at the paper. Focusing, I switched the buster’s primary weapon, changing the color from its normal blue and cyan, to a blazing orange and yellow. A flick of the wrist later, and I had sent a small spark at the paper, lighting it, and causing the fireplace to suddenly expand, and transform entirely.

Where there was once a small pit filled with ashes, there was now a large, aged wooden wardrobe. With shaking hands, I slowly opened the doors to it, and let out a deep breath as I took in its contents.

Inside was a mannequin that was roughly my size, wearing a thick black leather jacket, fitted with steel bracers and shoulder guards.  A vest of chainmail rested underneath it, showing signs of obvious repair work, but at the same time managing to look nearly indestructible.  A worn-out bandolier was thrown over the shoulders, and each one of its bullet carrying pockets was occupied by a large rifle shell, each one still glistening as brightly as the day they were made.

Dark blue jeans adorned the lower half, fitted with small metal plates over the knees and ankles, with a weathered black leather belt looped through it, again with bullet holding pockets, only this time they were filled with heavy revolver rounds, some fitted with normal lead, while others were of a different material entirely.

Twin-shoulder holsters were attached to the back of the jacket, one holding what appeared to be an ancient and battle scarred Winchester repeating rifle, and the other holding a very familiar shotgun, lovingly dubbed, “Boomstick”.

To finish this familiar, yet terrible, outfit, a sleek, featureless steel helmet/mask was wrapped around the mannequin’s head, and I could easily see my reflection in its expressionless face.  Its simple appearance hid the technology that was sealed away inside of it, and I sighed, recalling every time I had put this on in the past, and wondering how many more times I would have to wear it.

Shaking my head slightly, angered, yet not surprised, that it had come to this, I stepped into the wardrobe, and closed it behind me, saying, “I didn’t want it to go this far.”

At the activation phrase, the magic in the wardrobe instantly equipped me with the clothes, placing the chainmail vest over a white t-shirt made of enhanced cotton, and putting small, thin sheets of metal over the tops of my boots. The steel mask was put onto my head, both sides interlocking with one another, and heavy metal bracers fit themselves over my forearms, almost instantly attaching to my jacket. Fingerless gloves with metal studs fit over the knuckles slid onto my hands, only getting stuck for a small moment because of the added mass of my robotic arm.

Not even five seconds later, I stepped out of the wardrobe, and the girls all took a collective step backwards, startled by my sudden change in appearance.

I glanced at my arm, and said, “Hey Rarity…you’ll probably hate me for asking this, but…could you rip off the right sleeve? It’s constricting my arm, and hindering my movement. I don’t want to have to worry about that later.”

Shaking herself out of her shock, she nodded, and her horn glowed, undoing the clumsy stitching that held it in place. With a heavy THUD, it fell to the floor, and I rotated my arm a bit, grimacing slightly.

“Are you alright, darling?” Rarity asked as soon as she was done, noticing my pained look.

“Yeah, I’m just feeling some minor pricks from my arm as it grows back…” I replied, tearing off the glove from my robotic arm. “How do I look?”

“Scary…” Fluttershy answered hesitantly, cowering slightly.

I nodded. “Good,” I said simply, walking outside.

Choosing to ignore my cryptic response, Twilight asked, “Okay, so you’re ready to fight…but how are we going to find Torrentican?” As I turned to look at her, she added, “He could be hiding out anywhere, and we don’t have enough time to search the entire forest for him.”

Scratching my beard with my good arm, I thought about it. “That’s…a really good point.”

You know those moments in animes where everyone falls on their face after someone says something really stupid? Yeah…one of those moments just happened.

“Hey, give me a break!” I said defensively. “I’m officially disarmed! This is entirely new to me!” At their un-amused expressions, I rolled my eyes, and said, “Okay, okay, I’m thinking…”

Pacing around my yard, and slowly growing azalea bush, I attempted to gather my thoughts. “Okay, Torrentican…he’s obviously wanting me to attack him, else he would’ve taken Celestia and Luna right off the bat, instead of exchanging insults with me back at the Palace. But he definitely wants to drain Celestia’s power, that much I’m certain of…he’s a big stickler for using ironic/memorable locations when he fights his enemies, meaning he’ll be somewhere we’ve been before, but also in a place that he can use to inflict psychological damage on his hostage. That means that he’ll be somewhere dark, with little-to-no sunlight,” I thought out loud, hoping that somepony would cut in with an accidentally geniu-

“The Diamond Dog mines!” Twilight exclaimed suddenly.

I whirled around, and said, “Beg pardon?”

“It makes sense! We’ve all been there before, even Torrentican, and he could easily scare away the Dogs with his powers!” Or worse. I wasn’t going to tell her that though, she was on a roll! “It’s underground, and the twists and turns will make it harder for us to find Celestia!”

I scooped Twilight up in a hug, and planted a Looney-Tunes style kiss on her cheek…well, I touched her cheek with the spot on my mask where my lips would’ve been, and made overdramatic smooching noises. “Twilight, you magical genius!”

She blushed slightly, but then started rubbing off the kiss, and I set her down, taking the hint. Smiling at everypony, I said, “Alright, we don’t have much time. We can make it to the quarry where the Dogs were last seen, and camp out there for the night. Tomorrow morning, we’ll head into the caves, and search for Celestia…well, you guys’ll search for her.”

As we took off down the path, Fluttershy asked, “What do you mean by that?”

“I’ll explain it tomorrow,” I said, stalling for time. I knew that they wouldn’t like my plan, and they would most definitely argue with it, but it was the only way we could do this with minimum injuries.

As the sun slowly started setting, being lowered by Luna so Equestria wouldn’t panic, I pushed my glasses up onto my face, and sprinted down the road, running as fast as my legs could carry me, somehow managing to keep up with the girls.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

What felt like a couple of hours later, I had finally tapped a robotic finger to the side of my mask, and pressed a small circular protrusion, turning on the sensors inside of it. I blinked, as light blue holograms popped up into my field of vision, giving me the status of my various injuries, the most pressing of which was the arm. According to the sensors, if I kept up with my current plan of action, it would take at least a month for my arm to regenerate, instead of the earlier prediction of 24 hours.

I guess deciding to take on an army of Shadow-Stalkers and Torrentican would do that.

But Torrentican crossed a line. And it was time for him to remember why he needed to create an army to fight me in the first place.

“…Pinkie, will you please stop making faces at my mask?” I asked in a monotonous tone. For the past five minutes,

Pinkie had started making funny faces in the reflection of my mask, watching the admittedly comical distortions warp her face.

“Aw…but they’re really funny! And I can’t tell if you’re smiling or not inside of that weird thingie!” She pouted, getting closer to my face.

I smiled, and picked her up in a hug, giving her a friendly noogie as we walked. “Trust me, Pinkie. If I wasn’t smiling before, I am now!”

The rest of the girls laughed at our antics, and I set Pinkie down, my laugh echoing strangely inside of my mask. We continued walking; only now the mood had lightened considerably. None of us had forgotten the seriousness of our mission, but at least now, thanks to Pinkie, we were able to enjoy the calm before the-

A large, seemingly shapeless mass launched itself at Fluttershy, and I quickly slid in front of her, and intercepted it, punching at what I hoped would be its gut. With my free arm, I pulled my revolver out of its holster, and slammed the butt of it on the attacker’s head.

With a shrill howl, it fell to the ground, fur-covered arms wrapped around its head, and my eyes widened once I realized it was a Diamond Dog.

I grasped the dog by the throat, and brought it up to my mask, as the dog squirmed, trying to avoid looking at me. Tightening my grip, I said to it in a snarling voice, “Who are you, and why did you attack her?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Fluttershy was cowering on the ground, and I felt my heart pang as I realized that I was scaring her worse than the diamond dog. Pushing aside my feelings for the moment, I shook the dog after it didn’t answer me.

Stuttering slightly, it said in a high, reedy voice, “D-did not mean to hurt! O-o-nly wanted to w-w-warn!”

“Keep talking,” I growled, although I set him gently on the ground once I saw the fear in his eyes. Greeeaaaaat. Now I can feel guilty for hurting the Diamond Dog. Joy.

After he coughed to clear his throat, he continued talking, twitching nervously. “Stay away from pretty gem cave! Scary shadows attack us, and drive us out of home!” His eyes darted around, as if afraid that he would be overheard by something.

“Why are you helping us?” I asked, kneeling down until I was looking it in the eye. This dog seemed familiar somehow…

He then did the strangest thing: he stuck his nose next to my mask, and started sniffing rapidly, much the same way a dog would sniff another dog’s…I’m not gonna finish that sentence, as it will end with me insulting myself for the umpteenth time.

After a deep sniff, he nodded, as if he had just confirmed something, and he said, “You smell like nice pony that help me!” His stubby tail wagged a little bit, and I finally recognized him.

“Runt, is that you?” I said, all traces of anger gone from my voice, as I looked at the tiny diamond dog. Suddenly, I remembered our little…fiasco, in the Diamond Dogs’ Mines, and how Runt was the only dog who had helped me (or at least tried to) escape from them, and fight my way out.

Runt’s tail shook even harder, and he stood up on his hind legs, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. “It IS Ommie!” he said happily, as I scratched his head.

“You know this…dog?” Rarity asked, looking from me to Run, with confusion in her eyes.

“Yeah, he’s an old friend. Remember that little rescue attempt?” I reminded her, not even taking my eyes off Runt. Currently, my mask was telling me that aside from some minor starvation, and some cuts and bruises, Runt was in okay shape. Well, as okay as you can get being the runt of the litter. I suppose that’s what prompted me to give him the nickname, instead of his old name of “Fur-face.”

He liked the name too, and he had ended up helping me out of a sticky situation. He occasionally dropped by from time-to-time, visiting my home and helping me get to know about his race.

After some apologies and introductions, I looked at the horizon, and winced when I saw that the sun was already setting. Thankfully, if Runt and my memories were correct, we were just outside of the quarry where the mines were.

“Alright, we’ll camp here for tonight,” I said, sitting down on a rock. Looking at Runt, I grunted, “You okay?”

He nodded. “Runt is fine! But Runt needs to return to pack, before they get suspicious! Runt will see Ommie and his pony friends later!” He waved at us once, and then took off, kicking up a massive dust cloud as he ran.

I chuckled, and shook my head. “He’s got his quirks, but he’s pretty alright once you get to know him,” I said, looking around the quarry. Spotting a dead tree that was about ten feet away from out little clearing, I snapped my fingers, and watched my buster change colors.

“Hey, Twi,” I called, getting her attention as I aimed at the tree. “Pick up some of the branches after I cut ‘em, would ya?”

She frowned slightly, and opened her mouth to speak, before being interrupted by a metal screech. Her mouth fell open, as I shot a couple of razor-sharp saw blades at the tree, cutting off most of the branches, and filling the air with the fresh smell of sawdust.

“Thanks Twilight.” After that, and a small spark from me scraping a knife on my buster, we had a cheery little fire lit up, its small flames chasing away the darkness.

For a few moments, we all sat in silence, not knowing exactly what to say. Heck, I’ll admit that I was speechless too. I mean, what do you say to someone who’s gone almost their entire life without having to worry about war, and they’re about to be thrust into one? Not only that, but they were also some of my closest friends. What am I supposed to say to them?

“So…” I shifted my position on the rock I was sitting on into a more comfortable one. “Lovely weather we’re having.”

…Don’t give me that look.

Rainbow Dash looked up at the clear, night sky, and sighed. “Yeah…I was supposed to be on weather detail today, but once I heard that the princess was kidnapped, I had to…” She stopped, and just hung her head. “I’ll probably get chewed out for missing my shift today.”

“Hey, I think rescuing the princess is a bit of a higher priority,” I jokingly said. “I think that entitles you to at least one day off!”

We all laughed at my weak joke, each of us desperate for something to ease our nerves, or just for something to take our minds off of what tomorrow promised. I frowned, and tapped the side of my helmet/mask again, activating the med-scan.

Heart rate: Showing signs of stress/worry.

Energy Levels: Normal

Hydration: Normal

WARNING: Nanites being pushed to critical levels. Restrain self from exerting self, or risk losing all progress on tissue regenerating process.

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head, and turned off the scanner. Yeah, tell me something I DON’T know…

Realizing that we had all gotten quiet again, I cast about for another conversation starter. And of course, I ended up saying the first thing that came to mind:

“Anyone up for a game of Stories?”

Everypony gave me a confused look, and I felt slightly shocked. “What?” I asked in disbelief. “Haven’t y’all heard of Stories?”

“I know about stories,” Twilight replied. “But I didn’t think that there was a game for it.”

“Well, I guess technically, it’s not a game,” I confessed. “But I just like to call it a game, ‘cause it helps to lighten the mood.”

“What are the rules?” Pinkie asked eagerly, nearly getting into my face again.

Pushing her down a little, I explained it. “Basically, you play this at either a poker game, or around a campfire. You, and whoever you’re with, all tell one story, and try to make it as entertaining as possible.”

“That’s it?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Well, that’s kind of lame.”

I gasped overdramatically, and clutched at my heart. “Thine words hast pierced mine heart! How dare you speak such blasphemy!”  I cried, mock swooning.

They all laughed again, and I sat back up, grinning underneath my helmet. “Seriously though, just give it a shot. The only rule is: It has to be a true story.”

“OOH! Me first, me first!” Pinkie shouted, bouncing up and down with her hoof in the air.

How can you say no to that? Honestly, these ponies…So, we let Pinkie entertain us with a story of the time she made her first brownies. Long story short, she almost burned down the bakery, got flour everywhere, and ended up selling all of them in the first twenty minutes. DAYUMN. So that’s how Equestria was made…wait.

“Okay then,” I muttered. “Who’s next?”

“If it is quite alright with you,” Rarity stated from her pillow and blanket (where did those come from? I though Pinkie was the one who did that kinda stuff!), “I would like the honor of going next.”

“Rarity use funny words!” I grunted, much to the amusement of Dash, who had to stifle a giggle.

“Very well then. Oh! I know the perfect story! So, just the other day, Opalescence was…”

Apparently, Sweetie Belle had attempted to help Rarity with a new design, and accidentally spilled Catnip onto one of the dresses…needless to say, evil kitty, plus delicate dress, plus weed-for-cats, equals one heckuva disaster.

“And wouldn’t you know it, but Opal’s artistic creativity must have been pushed that day!” Rarity gushed. “He made the most artful cuts, perfectly styling it into a whole new line of fashion! I’m calling it my, ‘Cat-scratch Fever’ line!”

…Okay, I swear, I have NOT shown her any rock music…yet. I’m still trying to figure out a good way of getting them to listen to AC/DC. Then they can finally get the Thunderstruck joke!

“Huh…” I commented, nodding. “Applejack, you’re next.”

“Hm,” Applejack rubbed her head for a moment, trying to think of something good. “Well, there was this one time that Apple Bloom had snuck into the barn, and she had a bit of rope with her…”

Thinking that she could get a cutie-mark in “net making” (I have no idea where she got that idea from), she had attempted to tie the rope into a net, and set it over the doors to the barn, rigging it so that whoever came in next would be tangled up in a mess of ropes and super-glue (…okay, I’ll take responsibility for that).  Well, long story short, Applejack walked in with a cart-load of apples…

The rest is a sticky mess best left untold, unless some young, dashingly handsome, author decides to write it out…

We all passed the time in this fashion, with nothing better to do…then it was my turn.

“Oh, jeez, would you look at my wrist! It’s late, we need to get to sleep!” I stammered, propping my head onto a rock. “Goodnight girls, I’ll see you in the mor-”

“No you don’t, old-timer!” Rainbow Dash said, poking my stomach with her hoof.

“Who’re you calling an old-timer, skittles?” I shot back, slightly irritated by that. Sure, I might technically be REALLY old, but I certainly don’t act like it!

“Why don’t you want to tell us one of your stories?” Dash asked, ignoring the skittles comment.

I rolled over, turning my face away from them. “Because…I don’t know which story to pick,” I confessed, crossing my arms. “I’m not really good at Stories.”

“Yes you are!” Pinkie said, her head right above mine. “Maybe you just don’t know which one to pick!”

I nodded. She hit the bull’s eye with that one.  See, if I have a story to tell, I normally choose to tell it. But if it’s a game, and I have to pick one on the spur of the moment, I’m not really good at it. Ironic, ain’t it?

“Well, what if we chose?” Twilight asked.

“Beg pardon?” I’ve been saying that a lot lately…

“Hey, yeah!” Applejack agreed. I turned back around to look at them, and felt a slight pang of worry when I saw the gleam in their eyes. Did I just set myself up for this? Or do the multiverses like picking on me? Probably both.

“…I’m not getting a say in this, am I?” I deadpanned, sitting up. Shaking my head, I sighed, and said, “Alright, ask me somethin’.”

All of the girls were silent, as they started to think. I just reclined against the rock, and watched the night sky, once again amazed by how beautiful the night was. After a few moments, surprisingly, it was Fluttershy who spoke first.

“Um…if it’s okay with you, do you think that maybe you could, uh, tell us about one of the happier Seven Days? I mean, if you want, I don’t want you to be sad, but…” She squeaked, and curled up into a ball.

Smiling, I scooted closer to her, and wrapped my good arm around her. She jumped a little, but then looked up at me.

“You know what?” I said musingly. “That’s a good idea. Alright girls, this one is one of my personal favorites. It’s the third of the Seven Days…I like to call it, ‘A Dance Among the Clouds’…”

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Come on Jen!” I called out, pulling Jenna up a small, grassy hill.

She laughed, sending chills down my spine, and said in her musical voice, “Okay, okay, I’m coming!”

We reached the top of the hill, and Jenna laughed again when she saw what I had made such a big fuss over: A rusty, blue swing set. Like the ones you’d see in parks, only a bit bigger, and a little more beaten up.

“Well, what do ya think?” I asked, chuckling. “I remembered you said something about never getting to do stuff like this when you were little, and I figured that maybe yo-mph!”

Jenna had stopped me mid-ramble with her usual method: A quick peck on the lips. She pulled away, and gave me a soft smile. “I love it,” she said, already sitting down on the swing, and watching the sunset.

By some sort of silent agreement, I walked behind Jenna, and started pushing her, chuckling while I did so.

“What’s so funny?” Jenna asked when she came back down, glancing at me from her seat.

“Oh, nothing…” I said, averting my gaze in a show of faux-innocence.  She raised an eyebrow at me, but remained silent, by now used to my random quirks. I still had no idea how I had been lucky enough to meet her in the first place. Ye Gods, but she…I still, to this day, have no words that can truly describe the feeling.

After a few minutes, I looked up at the sky, and failed to prevent a huge smile from lighting up my face. Up above us, various sized clouds were starting to roll in. All of them were tinged with a pinkish glow from the rays of the slowly setting sun, and a gentle breeze rustled my hair.

I looked back at Jenna, and her eyes widened as she started to guess what I was about to do. “Omnius, wait, don’t-!”

TOO LATE!

Grasping the chains in my hands, I ran back, and charged forward, pushing with all of my strength, laughing maniacally all the while. The force of the launch caused Jenna to fly up into the sky, and I ran forward, calling forth my Wind Aura.

My hair flew back, and my clothes all turned into varying shades of grey and white, matching the colors of a summer storm cloud perfectly. Jumping into the sky, I willed the wind to carry me to Jenna, and I caught her arms in my own, and lifted us higher, and higher.

“Omnius!” Jenna half-screamed, half-laughed, clutching my arms.

“Don’t worry!” I replied, spinning her around as if we were dancing. “Just let the wind carry you!”

Her grasp loosened, and I moved my hand into hers, giving her a large smile. Together, we flew above the clouds, watching the world fly by underneath us.  In awe of the majestic clouds that were spread all around us, Jenna reached down with her free hand, and gently let her fingers carve a line through the cloud beneath us, her smile growing wider.

I swung her up, letting go for a moment, and then flew up and spun the two of us around in a circle, as we fell threw a small tunnel that was forming in the clouds.  The wind blew through our hair, and stung our eyes a little, but we didn’t care. We were literally riding the wind, flying through the skies…

Standing upright, I bowed to Jenna, my hair wildly flying about my face, and offered her my hand. “May I have this dance?” I asked, before clutching at my throat. “Ack! I swallowed a bug! Bug swallow, bug swallow! Quick, get me an ice cream! I’ll freeze the little bugger out of there!”

Jenna laughed at my antics, and shook her head. “You really know how to charm someone, don’t you?”

“It’s a gift.”

She grabbed my hand, curtsied, and said, “I would love to dance with you.”

Wrapping my other hand around her waist, we slowly revolved on a spot, the very clouds themselves becoming our own personal ballroom, the whistling wind our orchestra.  For what felt like hours, we simply danced up there, forgetting for a few precious moments that soon, she would be gone, and I’d be alone…

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“But I’m not really alone, am I?” I finished, sighing as I remembered the joy of being up there.

“Oh my, Omnius! I never expected you to be such a romantic,” Rarity said, her eyes sparkling.

“As much as I love flying and all,” Rainbow interrupted. “Why was Jenna so amazed?”

“Rainbow, you gotta understand something,” I said, looking at the night sky above us. “Human beings can’t naturally fly. I know I’ve mentioned how we have machines that can let us do that, but…there’s something majestic in flying without the aid of technology. To just let the wind carry you into the sky, and touch the clouds with your own hand. To view the world as an eagle would, and not be hindered by any limitations…”

“I guess when you put it like that, now I know why she liked it so much!” Dash grinned suddenly. “Y’know, if she were still alive, I bet she’d think I’m pretty awesome! I mean, I am the best flier in Equestria!”

Thinking about it for a moment, I nodded. “Yeah, you’re probably right. But while you might be the greatest flier in Equestria, what about the Lylat System?”

“What?”

“It’s getting late! Time to sleep,” I said, turning over again. “G’night all. Pinkie, if you start twitching, let us know so we can amscray at full speed.”

With that, I plopped my head onto the rock (even in my helmet, it still isn’t comfy enough!), and fell asleep.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

“Oh, come on,” I groaned, smacking the side of my helmet. “I’ve fought demons, pirates, ninjas, and Football-playing mustachioed royalty in space. WHY IS MY WORST ENEMY AN ALARM CLOCK?”

I got up, and noticed that the girls were already up and ready, cleaning up the campsite.  Shaking myself awake, and wishing for a cup of soda (screw coffee!), I set about the arduous task of synching my buster with my helmet. A while ago, with the help of some certain famous geniuses, I had rigged my helmet to have access to the Shadow-Stalker category of the Timeless Library, providing me with the weaknesses of each kind. By synching my buster to it, I’d be able to instantly switch weapons at the speed of thought, allowing for more badassery in the middle of a fight.

Ten minutes later (and after a sparse breakfast of apples), we walked over to where a large cave was set into the side of the quarry, gaping at us like the maw of some long dead creature.

“Alright, here’s the plan,” I said, doing one last weapons check. “I’ll go into this cave, and wander around until I find whatever army Torrie’s got in there waiting for me. You girls will enter the Diamond Dogs’ tunnels through a side entrance, and find Celestia. Then you’ll get out of there ASAP.”

“That’s the plan?” Twilight asked incredulously.

“I know, I know, it has more detail than what I normally plan, but I had a few hours to think about this,” I joked. Pulling out the Winchester, I stepped into the cave, and called over my shoulder, “Find Celestia! I’ll hold off everything else.”

Before they could follow me, I punched the side of the cave wall with my buster arm, and boulders fell down, cutting them off from me, and sealing me inside of the tunnels.

“They’re gonna be pissed,” I chirped, twirling my rifle and clicking a flashlight on my helmet. “But I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“I can’t believe he just did that!” Rainbow Dash shouted, kicking at one of the boulders in anger.

“Well, ah’m not surprised. And maybe he’s got a point,” Applejack said, adjusting her Stetson on her head. “Now we can look fer the Princess without havin’ ta worry about them stalkers.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Fluttershy smiled, relieved that she wouldn’t have to worry about that…only now, she was starting to worry for Omnius. He seemed confident enough, but he said that he’d be fighting an ARMY. Could he really handle that all by himself?

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Now where the Saxton Hale would Torrentican hide an army in this place?” I asked myself, as I turned into another tunnel.

Maybe I should’ve planned this out a bit more…

Wait. Me? Plan something? NAH!

After I made my way through the dark tunnel, I came into a large, open cavern, lit by a combination of glowing gems that were embedded into the rock, and several torches. The cavern was massive, easily as big as a warehouse, and just in front of me…

“...I’m gonna need a bigger gun.”

Filling up half of the entire room, all of them at least a hundred feet away from where I was standing, hundreds of Imps were clustered into a large group, their expressionless yellow eyes glowing menacingly in the dark.  Peppered among them were various Vultures, basically Imps with razor sharp steel wings, and tattered cloaks.

Lifting up my rifle, I aimed it at the large group, and fired it, taking out one of the lead Vultures before they could take off.  As if that were the cue, all of the stalkers ran at me, attempting to overwhelm me with sheer numbers.

I kept unloading my Winchester on them, reloading with my robotic arm as fast as it would allow me to. They came closer, and closer, and I kept firing at them. One of the imps finally broke away from the horde, and threw itself at me, snarling viciously as it bore down on me-

-and then I smacked it away with the butt of my Winchester. What, did you think guns are just used for shooting? There’s a reason they’re made of heavy wood and metal!

I kept them at bay for a while longer, smacking them furiously with my gun, before it was torn out of my hands by a Vulture that had escaped the initial onslaught. Grunting, I let the rifle go, knowing that it would return of its own volition back to my Vault.

Without skipping a beat, I reached with my free hand to the Boomstick on my back, and used my other hand to fire off my revolver, making sure that I still had some room to maneuver. Talons slashed across my good arm, and I quickly blasted another Vulture with the Boomstick, somehow managing to take out a few more that were behind it.

Unfortunately, something inevitable then happened.

“Shit! Looks like I’m all out of bullets…” I lamented, dismissing my guns. I then smiled crazily, and brought up the buster arm. “BUT NOT IN THIS ARM!”

There was a high-pitched whirring sound, and a massive fireball shot out, incinerating most of the stalkers in front of me, and more importantly, giving me a path to run through.

“COME ON, YOU BASTARDS!” I shouted, running forward into the horde. Switching Buster weapons, I hurled as many metal blades as I could at them, slicing them apart with ease.

“Metal Blades FTW!” My helmet beeped, and I groaned. “Maybe I should’ve been a little less overzealous with firing them…okay, next weapon!”

Quickly sliding underneath a Vulture, I grabbed it with my buster, now a rich earthen-brown color, and slammed it onto the ground. Jumping over it, I then slammed my fist onto the ground, causing a large boulder to fall from the ceiling into my waiting hand.

“And they say that the Super Arm was a lame weapon!” I chided, before launching the boulder at another clump of stalkers.

Man, why don’t I use the Buster more often?! It’s freaking useful, and it can use a lot more-

BEEP BEEP BEEP.

“Did I just run out of ammo?” I looked at the energy levels, and gulped. “Of course I did. I still have normal buster shot mode, but I guess I forgot to recharge since the last time I used it. Oops.”

Okay, looks like there’s only one thing I can do now…I pulled a knife out from a hidden pocket on my jacket, and discarded my helmet. I wouldn’t need it now. Fighting off the stalkers with the knife, I started to build up as much energy as I could in my buster, feeling it start to vibrate and heat up. Soon, it started glowing brightly enough to be considered a second sun.

“Just a little more!” I panted, feeling some of the excess energy burn away the re-grown bits of flesh on my still recovering arm. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I lifted up the buster.

“Goku can suck it,” I muttered. Then, I let out all of the energy.

A massive, glowing green beam of destruction shot out of the arm-cannon, completely annihilating all of the stalkers it hit, and with a bit of struggling, I managed to fire the beam as I turned in a circle, stopping short of destroying the thick walls. As it was, I think I made a couple new windows.

I’ll fix those later, I swear.

After that, I fell to the ground, exhausted. “WARNING. WARNING. POWER LEVELS AT CRITICAL. WEAPONS SYSTEM OFFLINE. REGENERATIVE SYSTEMS OFFLINE.”

“If you tell me that the morph ball systems are offline, I’m trading you for the V-watch,” I grumbled at my arm.

“OMNIUS!”

“Princess?” I thought, stunned.

“Yes. Twilight and her friends managed to free me, but my magic is otherwise drained at the moment.”

“Did Tor-”

“No, he didn’t steal any of my magic. But he’s also coming your way! Get out of-”

A slow clapping sound made its way to my ears.

Clutching my knife, I slowly stood up, and looked across the room to see Torrentican standing there, with grim delight etched onto his features.

“Torrie,” I said curtly, nodding at him.

“Nathan,” He replied. “Do you know how long it took me to amass that army?”

“Really long?”

“Quite.”

“Good, I’ve been wanting to tick you off.”

“I’m sure,” Torrentican said, bringing his staff up. “Shall we just move on to the next part?”

Feeling like my knife wasn’t going to do much, I stood up, and twirled my knife a little. “Took the words outta my mouth, you sly bastard.”

“It’s a gift.”

“That’s my line!”

With that, he ran at me, slamming his staff at my side, and I felt myself lifted off of the ground by the sheer force of the blow.

I slammed into the ground, cracking my head on the hard ground, with stars flashing in my eyes. Wearily, I stood up, panting heavily. I wiped the blood away from the open cut above my right eye, and managed to block Torrentican’s next attack on my arm, wincing as his staff crashed into the silver colored bracer, denting it and bruising the skin underneath. I threw a haphazard punch at him with my free hand, and he deflected it with a lazy flick of his staff.

Gasping, I grabbed the staff in my fist, and stabbed my blade into his leg, the only area I could reach. Blood flowed from the ghastly wound, and Torrentican hissed mockingly at me. I sneezed in his face, and wheezed, “’Scuse me.”

He backed away, favoring his wounded leg, as he wiped off the bits of snot from his eyes. “Did you really have to result to such crude tactics?” He asked, disgusted.

I spat out a small wad of blood, and smiled. “Heh, you always say that you’re nothing to sneeze at. Guess I just proved that wrong, didn’t I?”

His eyes narrowed dangerously, and I kept up the mocking. I can’t help it. The closer I get to getting my ass kicked and the more evil and powerful the villain is, the more I tend to snark. “Endless Traveler of Evil, dude who has more power than a few Gods, and I sneezed in his FACE!” I said triumphantly. “You just got sneezed in the face by a Half-Mexican, Eternal, Smart-Assed, part Irish Traveler! That’s new material for me to mock you with!”

Torrentican lunged at me, and grabbed my face in his pointed-finger gauntlet, covering my entire face. He slammed my head into the wall, and half-snarled, half-mocked, “As much as I hate to admit this, but you are more powerful than you lead others to believe. Your Auras, for example, are extremely remarkable, in the way that they can enhance any of your abilities to the point of near-perfection if used properly…”

“Your point?” was my muffled reply.

“Do you recall your ‘Dark Aura’?” Torrentican asked in a deadly tone.

“That one scary Aura that nearly killed an entire world several times? The one that I just so happened to destroy a while ago?” I shot back.

“That very same one,” Torrentican said, his tone mockingly praising me. “But to tell you the truth: You have many more Auras with the same potential for uncontrolled destruction.”

I felt my blood run cold, and the armored hand started to apply pressure, squeezing my head.

“Luckily for me,” Torrentican continued, “I have learned of a way to force you to learn a new Aura…I wonder, Omnius, have you truly experienced Pain?”

Before I could answer, my mind exploded in a wave of agony. The armored hand let go of me, and I fell to the floor, helpless, as I felt my entire body succumb to the pain. Everywhere, all across my being, pain reigned supreme. I tried to escape into my mind, but even that was feeling its own pain: The pain of reliving my worst memories.

As I let out a wordless scream, Torrentican leaned his face down next to mine, and whispered, “Your Auras come forth when you do nothing but focus on a certain object. A prime example of this is when you learned your first Aura: Fire. You focused only on a burn, and called forth the powers of fire. Now, I am forcing you to focus on nothing but pain…” He grinned, and said in a louder voice, “Your friends had better hurry! You don’t have much time yet!”

Through my pain-blurred mind, I realized that he was baiting the girls into running in here, and I was helpless to stop them.

Torrentican laughed, and disappeared, leaving me to my pain, and the rising monster that was about to be freed…and the monster’s first victims…

I screamed, and heard the girls get closer and closer…

Of course. Celestia would be concerned, so she’d bring the girls here to back me up, and if they were coming…so was she.

Howling in agony, I felt myself start to transform. Shadows were torn off of the walls, and merged with my skin, making it seem as if I were becoming pure shadow. Jagged crystals erupted from my fingertips, and floated a few centimeters above them, pulsating wickedly in the light of the torches. All of my thoughts were replaced by thoughts of pain, and fear, and…I wanted more. I wanted others to feel what pain I had felt, I wanted them to fear me.

I needed to kill something…and it didn’t matter what it was.

As the transformation finished, there was the sound of concerned voices, and then-

“Omnius!” Pinkie shouted, bouncing into the room. “We were really really worried about you!” She then frowned, and said,

“Why are you all…dark and scary?”

I said nothing, and flexed my fingers, sending sharp lances of pain throughout my body.

“Um…why are you looking at me like that?”

Crouching, I placed one hand on the ground, and held the other one behind me, ready for the kill.

“Pinkie!” Celestia shouted, lifting her away from my lunge, preventing me from tearing out her throat.

“Omni, what are you doing?!” Pinkie shouted, her eyes widening in fear.

I let loose an unearthly wail, and shot forward like a bullet, unwilling to let my prey escape my wrath. Every movement sent a searing wave of pain through me, yet I moved with a sort of horrible grace, my body perfectly in tune with my primal thoughts.

Hunt. Suffer. Wrath. Fear.

I lunged again, my arms slashing downwards at another’s head. I don’t even remember who I was attacking. All I know was that I would rip apart anything that moved, and make it feel the same pain I was suffering.

A colorful blur kicked at me, and I tore out a few feathers from its wings, sending it tumbling onto the ground. A purple bolt of magic shot at my chest, pushing me away from the fallen pony, and it gave another one a chance to repeatedly buck me in the chest, before leaping out of the reach of my claws.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Princess, what’s wrong with him?!” Twilight shouted as she blasted Omnius with another pulse of magic. “Why is he trying to hurt us?”

Celestia scowled, her brow furrowed in concentration. Her magic was still slowly recovering from the aftereffects of both Torrentican’s spell, and of being trapped in a lightless room for so long. Still attempting to gather her strength, she said, “I’m not sure…I think Torrentican somehow triggered a Dark Aura.”

“I thought he got rid of it though!” Fluttershy squeaked in fear, unable to move from where she was.

“Omnius’ Auras allow him to increase any ability or attribute he has,” Celestia explained. “If that’s true, then that means that while it can increase his positive abilities, then the same can be said for his negative ones as well!”

“So you’re saying he has potentially limitless dark Auras?!” Twilight shrieked.

“Unfortunately, yes. He hasn’t activated many of them yet, and he has destroyed the most powerful one, yes, but…Twilight, look out!”

Celestia flared her powerful wings, and sent a gust of wind at Omnius, pushing him away from her prized pupil.

“What do we do?”

Celestia’s eyes widened, as she finally felt that enough of her magic had returned to her. Or at least, enough for the spell she was planning on casting.

“Twilight, hold him off for just a few more seconds!” She commanded, her horn glowing brightly.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

In another realm entirely, a hooded figure looked up, hearing a soft voice call her name. Looking around, she spotted a warm light that beckoned to her, urging her to come to it.

“What is wrong?” She asked, walking towards the light. Suddenly, she heard voices shouting, and a high-pitched wail of pain.

In a flash, everything returned to her, and she knew what was happening. With an iron resolve, she ran into the light, and felt herself falling through the barriers that separated her realm from the other one.

She would return to her rest later.

Her loved one was in trouble.

The Only One He Fears

The Only One He Fears

Pain.

Pain is what we live for. Pain is what we die for. We live to experience new things, to feel the pains of making a serious mistake, so we can learn from it. We die when we can’t handle the pain any longer, and wish to have that eternal rest take it away.

Immortal beings, however, are the most tolerant of pain. They live without an end, and thus experience endless amounts of pain.

Pain is what makes us human. Pain is what gives us reason. Too much of it, however, can drive you to the brink of despair. It can drive you to put too much pain on someone else.

Pain isn’t a bad thing.

It’s just something we have to deal with.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Princess, what are you doing?” Twilight asked, watching Omnius carefully, as he started trying to attack Rainbow Dash. Her speed was letting her avoid the worst of the attacks, but she already had a series of long, shallow cuts on her belly, and it looked as if she were quickly tiring.

“Calling a friend,” Celestia said, her horn’s light intensifying.

Omnius lunged forth, finally landing a solid hit on Dash’s wings, sending her spinning through the air. She slammed into the cavern wall, and slumped to the ground, unconscious.

“No! Rainbow!” Fluttershy screamed, throwing herself between Dash and Omnius. She gazed fearfully at what was once one of her closest friends, and she trembled, horrified at the look in his eyes.

“P-please,” she spoke, tears cascading down her face. He stopped, and tilted his head, as if trying to remember something. Seizing her chance, Fluttershy continued. “T-this isn’t like you! You’d never want to hurt anypony!”

Omnius’ eyes narrowed, and he crouched down, his muscles visible tensing for what was unmistakably a hunter’s pounce. Fluttershy’s eyes widened, but her fear kept her rooted to where she was standing.

And then, a blinding light filled the entire cavern, causing Omnius to flinch, and instinctively cover his eyes. Fluttershy took the opportunity to grab Dash and pull her to safety, glancing over her shoulders at Omnius as she went-

And stopped mid-flight, her jaw dropping in shock. There, bathed in a soft pink glow, was a shining, translucent figure. Clothed in white robes with red trimming, and clutching a worn, wooden staff, Fluttershy realized that she had seen the figure before…

She had seen her in Omnius’ memories…

In a picture on his mantle…

It was Jenna.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Hello, Nathan,” Jenna said softly, smiling sadly. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” She lifted a ghostly hand to my cheek, and the light from it caused the shadows around my face to disappear.

“Jen…” I murmured, the pain temporarily gone. I reached my hand up to hers, and grasped it tightly, not believing what I was seeing. “Are…I thought…but-”

She shook her head, and came closer to me, her robes shifting slightly. “No, Nathan. I am not alive…”

Shaking my head, I felt tears start to fall down my face rapidly, and my eyesight blurred. “Then how are you here?”

“Princess Celestia awoke me from my rest,” She said simply. “She told me that you were in trouble, and that you were in pain…I did not imagine that you were in this much pain though…”

“It hurts,” I mumbled, as the shadows crept back onto me, each one sending fresh waves of pain throughout my body.

Jenna hushed me, and wrapped her arms around me in a hug. I tried to hug her back, but stopped when I saw that my claws were still there, shining evilly in Jenna’s warm glow.

“Omnius…” She pulled back, and looked at me with her emerald eyes.

“I can’t hold it back much longer…please,” I whispered, clasping my hands against my head. “Get everyone out of here! I don’t want to hurt them!”

“…No. Omnius, listen to me: you have one shot.” I looked at her, surprised. “I know that Torrentican did this to you. But now, you can turn this against him! You can find him, and make sure that he never does this to anyone again!”

“How?” I asked. “I don’t know where he is…”

Jenna closed her mouth, her brow furrowed in worry. My head started to hurt again, and thoughts of spreading my pain to others slowly replaced any rational thought I had regained while being near Jenna.

“I don’t know,” She finally answered. She turned to look at the ponies, who were watching us in a mixture of fear and sadness. “There has to be a way to find him.”

A low whistle rang through the cavern, tearing me away from my slowly darkening thoughts. Looking around, I spotted a grey-cloaked figure that was standing next to one of the holes I had blasted in the walls earlier. Slowly, she lifted an earth-brown hand, and beckoned to me, urging me to come over to her.

Walking over to her, as if in a trance, I dimly heard the others ask me what I was doing. Wait…don’t they see her? They can see Jenna, why can’t they see…no, it can’t be.

The figure traced a large circle on the wall, and stepped aside, silently pointing at the spot on the cavern wall. In a low, musical voice, she whispered, “You can find your enemy through there...May you tip the scales back into their proper place, Traveler.”

“Neutra?”

Suddenly, she pushed me through the wall, and I heard the girls scream.

The Aura took full control then, and I raced through the tunnel I found myself in, sensing that the source of my pain was near.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Where did he go?!” Applejack asked fearfully, rapidly pressing against the wall he had fallen through. The others were doing the same, minus Celestia, and Jenna, who were watching calmly.

“You saw her too?” Jenna asked the Princess.

“Indeed. I’m surprised she didn’t reveal herself earlier.”

“She works in mysterious ways.”

Celestia nodded, and then spotted movement out of the corner of her vision. Turning, she saw that a large section of the wall had been replaced by a large pane of shining mirror, sending back the Sun Princess’ surprised gaze at her.

“Girls, it’s no use,” she finally said, stopping the girls from their frantic search. “Omnius will have to deal with Torrentican on his own now.”

“But he’s not in control of himself!” Twilight said, looking from her mentor back to the wall. “What if he doesn’t-”

“Twilight Sparkle?” Jenna interrupted. “I think there is something that you should hear.”

Reluctantly, the girls all stopped searching, and made their way to where Jenna stood. Smiling, she said, “I know that I have never met you, but you all know me from Omnius, I assume?”

They all nodded, Pinkie saying, “You were his special somepony! Or, someone in this case!”

Jenna laughed, and sat down on her knees. “Has Omnius ever told you which Traveler is the most powerful?”

“He said that he always thought that Neutra was the strongest,” Rarity remembered, recalling a story he had told her once.

She shook her head. “That is only what he thinks. But in reality, the truth is much different.”

“What do ya mean?” Applejack asked, confused.

“Look at it like this: Neutra has the powers of good and evil…but she only will go far enough to make sure that the balance is intact. After that, she will disappear. Torrentican holds limitless power, but will only learn more to further his own strength, and only to meet his goals.

“Omnius, however, is entirely different. He has his friends. He won’t stop when he sees that you are safe…he’ll do his best to make sure that you stay safe. He will see everything through to the bitter end.” Jenna looked at all of them, and added, “Whenever I tried to tell that to Omnius, he’d always laugh, and say something about how if that were true, he wouldn’t have been defeated nearly as much as he had.”

“That does sound like him,” Fluttershy giggled.

Jenna laughed with her, and nodded. “Yes. But now you can understand why…”

The mirrored wall flickered suddenly, and showed an image of Omnius racing down a long corridor on all fours, like a wild beast.

“He is the only one Torrentican truly fears.”

All of them turned to watch the mirror, each silently praying for Omnius’ victory.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

I shot down the tunnel, letting the aura take full control, with only one goal in mind:

Kill Torrentican.

Feeling the air get warmer, I found myself outside of the caves, and in the quarry where we had entered originally. Standing in the middle of it, with a look of shock on his face, was Torrentican.

“What!?” He shouted, taking a few steps back. “That’s impossible! There is no conceivable way for you to have found the exit that quickly! Unless…” He paused, and frowned as he considered something that had eluded his original plans. “Neutra. I should have known she would interfere…”

I stood there, and took in his appearance…

His slick, black hair, was askew, as if he had been running from something (gee, wonder what that could be…), and his normally impeccable, grey tail-coat was stained with dust and dirt. His pale, grey face was peppered with drops of sweat, and his normally soulless eyes held something in them, something that I rarely saw in them.

Fear.

“Hm…Well, I guess the only thing to do now is deal with you…but what bit of magic shall I use to destroy you?”

While he was thinking, I jumped at him, slashing my claws across his chest in a triple lined “X”. He staggered back, and then snapped his fingers. A pillar of stone erupted from below me, and caught me in the stomach, throwing me away from him.

Quickly, I flipped in the air, righting myself, as Torrentican shot a blazing beam of fire at me, and I spun to avoid it. Placing my arms at my sides, I sped up my fall, wanting to get as close to him as possible, so I could tear him apart.

“Oh no you don’t!” Torrentican spat, flicking his wrist and sending a bolt of lightning at me. I hit the ground, and rolled away, barely avoiding the deadly bolt. In the blink of an eye, I was right next to him again, slashing at his arms rapidly, cutting his sleeves to ribbons.

He jumped back, and put his hand to his mouth, bathing me in a rush of scorching flames, burning me to my very soul. I was pushed back, and tossed against the hard wall of a mountain, sending small cracks up the side of it.

Shaking my head, I did a back flip, and planted my feet against the stone. Pushing forward, I shot at Torrentican like a bullet, and I hacked at his face, barely missing it as he stepped to the side. As it was, he now had a set of long, thin crimson lines on his cheek, and he hissed in pain.

He turned towards me, and clapped his hands together, summoning a massive gust of wind that pushed me off of the ground, and he quickly called forth another blast of wind to lift himself up as well, rushing out to meet me as I spun uncontrollably. His fists glowed an angry scarlet color, and he sent a flurry of punches at me, sending me higher into the air.

Recovering as quickly as I could, and ignoring the pain, I swiped at him in a berserker’s fury, matching every move he landed on me with another of my own. Acting purely on my Aura’s instinct, I thrust both of my hands forward, and the crystal claw-tips shot forward, leaving a dark contrail of reality-bending energy, nearly shattering the barriers between dimensions themselves.

All ten crystals tore through Torrentican, shredding his coat to pieces, and leaving him with a myriad of wounds, some deep, some shallow.  He cursed at me, and hit me with a massive backhand, sending me crashing into the ground.

Dazed, I picked myself up, only to narrowly avoid getting incinerated by a blazing fire ball. As it was, I was thrown forward by the explosion of heat, and had to roll again to avoid another one. Glancing at the sky, I saw that Torrentican was sending hundreds of flaming orbs at me, knowing that I couldn’t dodge them all.

Well, at least he thought that.

Standing up, I leaped forward, my claws returning to me, and I slashed at a fireball mid-flight, sending it crashing into the side of the quarry.  Torrentican snarled in anger, and kept hurling fireballs at me, desperately wanting me to die.

For what felt like hours, I jumped around the quarry, avoiding fireballs, or smacking them away from me. My Aura’s defense was failing, however, and I started to feel more heat as I hit the fireballs away. I had to either start dodging them, or stop him from making more. Finally, I nimbly jumped behind the pillar that Torrie had summoned before, and instead of hiding behind there, I hacked at the base of the pillar with my claws, detaching it from the ground.

Wrapping my arms around it, I slowly picked it up, and then spun around, picking up more and more momentum, until I let go of it, and sent it hurtling towards Torrentican. He was hit in the upper chest, and sent crashing to the ground.

Rushing at him, I swung my claws at him in a vicious, double-handed uppercut, flinging him upwards, and where I proceeded to claw, kick, and punch at him in a blur of lightning-fast attacks. After a few seconds, Torrentican blocked one of my clawed swipes, and pushed out with an open hand, blasting me away with a pulse of kinetic energy. Before I could recover, he punched the ground, launching a shockwave at me that forced me to jump into the air-

-and right into his next spell. A massive bolt of lightning shot out and hit me, catching me in the back, and completely scrambling my senses. I fell to the ground, twitching sporadically, as I attempted to gather my thoughts.

Laughing uncontrollably, Torrentican spun his hands in a circle, and sent rows of pure white thorn-vines at me, entombing me within a prison cage made out of them. While I frantically clawed my way out, he soared into the sky, and lifted his arms up, screaming, “GODS OF EVIL! HELP ME FINISH MY ACCURSED FOE, AND SEND HIM INTO THE ABYSS WHERE HE BELONGS!”

Soon, the air started to crackle with untamed energy, and dark, charcoal colored storm clouds gathered in the sky, fueling Torrentican’s next spell. As I finally broke through the cage, Torrentican’s hands lit up in a corrupted, orange glow.

“RAGNAROK!” He bellowed, before sending an enormous beam of energy at me. It was roughly the size of a booster rocket, and it carved a path of destruction towards me, sending up massive chunks of rock into the air, some of them even reaching Torrentican.

Not wanting to be hit by that thing, I did the only thing that seemed logical at the time: I jumped onto one of the rocks that had been tossed into the air, and quickly leaped onto another rock that was higher up than the one I was on.

Naruto can suck it.

Acting fast, I kept leaping from rock to rock, using my claws as an improvised grip to prevent myself from falling. Torrentican watched in horror, as I clasped my hands together in front of me, and spun like a drill, tunneling through one of the more massive rocks in front of me. Breaking through it, I found myself directly above him, and I smiled maniacally.

I grabbed him by his long hair, and flung him into the air, breaking his concentration, and getting rid of the deadly beam. Sending my claws at him again, this time I mentally willed them to stay in him, and used my connection to them to pull myself closer to him.

“DEATH TO ALL WHO OPPOSE ME!” I howled. I punched him in the gut, and tore my claws into his arm, completely shredding the muscles inside of it.  Never pausing for an instant, I spun around with him in my grasp, and together, we plummeted to the ground at breakneck speeds.

At the last moment, I kicked away from him, and landed on all fours on the ground, while Torrentican made a small crater in the ground. I heard all of his bones snap in some way, a few of them breaking entirely, and nodded.

Making my way to the edge of the crater, I eyed the broken figure inside of it, and snarled. Torrentican glared at me, and said, “You…you haven’t won…I’ll return! And you…you will finally see my true, master pl-”

I didn’t let him finish. Instead, I fell into the crater, and stabbed one set of claws into his jaw, and the other into his eyes.

“Get the hell away from my home.” And then, before he could try and say anything else, I tore his head clean in half, his jaw still attached to his neck, while his upper head was dangling from my hand...before it disappeared, like the rest of his body.

“It’s…good…to be The Traveler…” I mumbled, the Aura finally disappearing. I sagged against the wall, and tried to fight off the weariness that I felt.

Holy shit…that felt…intense, to say the least. It was like someone took the Hulk, made him beyond pissed, gave him an adrenaline shot, and then put him into Godzilla’s body.

I almost liked it. Hell, I could probably almost get used to it…

Almost.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

I don’t remember falling asleep. So why was I dreaming that Jenna was right in front of me, or at least her ghost was?

“You’re not dreaming, love,” Jenna said, sitting down next to me, and taking my hand in hers.

“Good,” I wearily stated. “That means this won’t turn into a nightmare…”

She sighed, and then leaned her head onto my shoulders. “Omnius.”

“Jenna.”

I saw with her for a few moments, my thoughts tiredly trying to form something that resembled a smart question.

“I don’t have enough time to tell you all that I want to tell you,” Jenna said quietly, her voice shaking a little.

“Same,” I mumbled. “How about we skip the obvious ‘I miss you’ speeches, and get straight to the part where I say how awesome you are?”

Jenna giggled, and wrapped her arms around me. I managed to wrap one arm around her, and I sighed in content.

“So…how long before you go this time?”

“Not very long…Omnius, your friends on this world…you really found some truly wonderful souls.”

“Don’t I know it. It’s not every day that you meet a cowpony with a love of apples, a fashionista with a heart of gold, a loyal daredevil, a physics-defying hyperactive bundle of joy, an adorkable bookworm, and a kindhearted timid animal lover,”

I laughed, looking at them all warmly.

“Yes…maybe…no, never mind.”

“Hm?”

“It’s nothing.” Jenna’s hug seemed to loosen slightly, and she added, “I think It’s time for me to go now…”

“Already? But you just got here! I didn’t even get to bust out the coke and cookies,” I joked, tears brimming in my eyes.

“You always want people to laugh, don’t you?”

“It’s what you love about me.”

She laughed once more, and then started to fade. I looked at her with sad eyes, already accepting the inevitable, and she said, “I must return to my rest now…I am very tired…”

“Sleep, Jenna. I’ll never forget about you. Ever.”

“Goodnight, Omnius…”

“Goodnight, Jenna.”

With that, she was gone once again, but this time I was smiling when she left. I looked up to see that Celestia was standing over me, her horn glowing softly.

“My magic is fully recovered,” She said, sitting down next to me. “Thank you, Omnius.”

“For what? Nearly losing control of myself and nearly killing some of my closest friends?” I said a little bitterly.

“No. For rescuing me, and defeating Torrentican,” She smiled. I felt my eyelids grow heavy, and she lifted me with her magic, and set me gently onto her back.

“Hey,” I protested weakly.

“Sleep, Omnius. You have earned it. When you awaken, we shall talk then.”

Well, when a Goddess of Good tells you to sleep, who are you to say no?

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Setting Omnius down in his bed at his home, Princess Celestia smiled, and thought of how strange it was…he was created by all of the Gods and Goddesses of Good, and he carried part of their essence inside of him…which meant that he was, in some ways, her son.

It was sort of funny. The son of the Princess of the Sun. She’d have to remember to tell Omnius that joke when he woke up. He’d find it quite enjoyable.

Still laughing quietly at her own joke, she made her way down the stairs, where the rest of his friends were waiting.

“Is he gon’ be alright?” Applejack asked, her eyes filled with concern for her friend.

“He will be fine, he just needs some rest…Girls, I have a very important task for you,” She said seriously, looking at each of them in turn.

“Omnius has been through a serious ordeal these past few days. His arm was cut off, replaced by a robotic replica, and then subsequently replaced when he was forcibly transformed into his…Aura.” Shaking herself free of the dark thoughts, she continued. “I want you to all stay by his side, and help him recover.”

“I mean you no disrespect, your highness,” Rarity said. “But we were all planning that from the start.”

Celestia smiled again, and nodded her head. “I wouldn’t expect anything less out of you girls.”

“I bet the first thing he’ll want when he wakes up is a glass of coke,” Pinkie said, already getting out a massive bottle that she had found in the fridge. “I wonder what would happen if we mixed it with his ice-cream stash?”

“Pinkie, you’re not seriously planning on making him some sort of complicated desert, are you?” Rainbow asked.

“No! I’m just gonna mix together a bunch of candy, soda, and ice-cream! Ooh, maybe a muffin!”

Meanwhile, Omnius rolled over in his bed, a small bit of drool appearing suddenly.

Apple Jackson and The Olympians

Apple Jackson and the Olympians

(Takes place a few days after "The Only One He fears")

“You may now enter!” A stern guard said, throwing open the doors to the Royal throne room.

“Thanks, Chief,” I said, doing a mock salute at him. He didn’t respond in the slightest, and I shook my head, unsurprised. “You guys just don’t react to anything.”

He continued to stare unblinkingly at the wall, as if he expected it to leap out and attack him. I would have stuck around to see if he’d blink, but I wasn’t here for a social trip. With a heavy sigh, I walked into the room, and shut the door behind me, where it echoed with an ominous BOOM that lingered for a few moments.

I walked forward, and bowed, saying in a respectful, sincere voice, “Princess Celestia, it is an honor to see you again.”

The Goddess smiled, and said, “Rise Traveler.”

Taking that as my cue, I shifted into my human form, and looked at Celestia with a worried eye. “There’s nothing going on with Torrentican, is there?”

She laughed, and shook her head. I let out a sigh of relief at that, still trying to get over what had happened just a few days earlier…

Celestia seemed to sense where my thoughts were headed, and she asked me in a concerned tone of voice, “I asked you to come here so that I might be able to ask you…are you alright?”

I blinked, surprised. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied, plastering a fake smile onto my face.

The Princess frowned, and looked me over, obviously seeing through my false claim. She rose from her throne, and walked over to me, and I attempted to not meet her gaze. She lightly tapped my shoulder with her hoof, and softly said, “It’s not a bad thing to tell me how you truly feel.”

Trembling, I finally managed to say, “Well…I guess I haven’t been well to tell you the truth. I’m still a little shaken up that Torrentican managed to bring out that Aura…I’m surprised I even had that Aura to begin with.”

She nodded, understanding my current thought process, and wisely said, “And you’re worried that you might summon that Aura again.”

I gulped audibly, and could do nothing but stand there, the horrors from barely two weeks ago still fresh in my head. For the past three nights, I had been tortured by visions of that night, and I felt myself get lost in a flashback…

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

I slammed into the ground, cracking my head on the hard ground, with stars flashing in my eyes. Wearily, I stood up, panting heavily. I wiped the blood away from the open cut above my right eye, and managed to block Torrentican’s next attack on my arm, wincing as his staff crashed into the silver colored bracer, denting it and bruising the skin underneath. I threw a haphazard punch at him with my free hand, and he deflected it with a lazy flick of his staff.

Gasping, I grabbed the staff in my fist, and stabbed my blade into his leg, the only area I could reach. Blood flowed from the ghastly wound, and Torrentican hissed mockingly at me. I sneezed in his face, and wheezed, “’Scuse me.”

He backed away, favoring his wounded leg, as he wiped off the bits of snot from his eyes. “Did you really have to result to such crude tactics?” He asked, disgusted.

I spat out a small wad of blood, and smiled. “Heh, you always say that you’re nothing to sneeze at. Guess I just proved that wrong, didn’t I?”

His eyes narrowed dangerously, and I kept up the mocking. I can’t help it. The closer I get to getting my ass kicked and the more evil and powerful the villain is, the more I tend to snark. “Endless Traveler of Evil, dude who has more power than a few Gods, and I sneezed in his FACE!” I said triumphantly. “You just got sneezed in the face by a Half-Mexican, Eternal, Smart-Assed, part Irish Traveler! That’s new material for me to mock you with!”

Torrentican lunged at me, and grabbed my face in his pointed-finger gauntlet, covering my entire face. He slammed my head into the wall, and half-snarled, half-mocked, “As much as I hate to admit this, but you are more powerful than you lead others to believe. Your Auras, for example, are extremely remarkable, in the way that they can enhance any of your abilities to the point of near-perfection if used properly…”

“Your point?” was my muffled reply.

“Do you recall your ‘Dark Aura’?” Torrentican asked in a deadly tone.

“That one scary Aura that nearly killed an entire world several times? The one that I just so happened to destroy a while ago?” I shot back.

“That very same one,” Torrentican said, his tone mockingly praising me. “But to tell you the truth: You have many more Auras with the same potential for uncontrolled destruction.”

I felt my blood run cold, and the armored hand started to apply pressure, squeezing my head. “Luckily for me,” Torrentican continued, “I have learned of a way to force you to learn a new Aura…I wonder, Omnius, have you truly experienced Pain?”

Before I could answer, my mind exploded in a wave of agony. The armored hand let go of me, and I fell to the floor, helpless, as I felt my entire body succumb to the pain. Everywhere, all across my being, pain reigned supreme. I tried to escape into my mind, but even that was feeling its own pain: The pain of reliving my worst memories.

As I let out a wordless scream, Torrentican leaned his face down next to mine, and whispered, “Your Auras come forth when you do nothing but focus on a certain object. A prime example of this is when you learned your first Aura: Fire. You focused only on a burn, and called forth the powers of fire. Now, I am forcing you to focus on nothing but pain…” He grinned, and said in a louder voice, “Your friends had better hurry! You don’t have much time yet!”

Through my pain-blurred mind, I realized that he was baiting the girls into running in here, and I was helpless to stop them.

Torrentican laughed, and disappeared, leaving me to my pain, and the rising monster that was about to be freed…and the monster’s first victims…

I screamed, and heard the girls get closer and closer…

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

I jumped when Celestia brushed the side of my face with the tip of her wing, her touch bringing me careening back into the present time. I shook my head a few times, and looked at her, surprised.

“You flash-backed for a moment,” She said sadly, as if she had been experiencing the memory herself. Wait, Goddess of Good, she can see what I’m remembering.

Grinning sheepishly, I said, “Sorry ‘bout that. I guess that it HAS been bothering me lately.”

Looking at me, Celestia’s horn glowed, and a small goblet filled with water floated over, and she offered it to me. I accepted it, and sipped at the cool liquid, glad for its simple, yet reassuring, taste.

“Omnius…I, and quite a few other Gods of Good, feel that you need a break,” She said suddenly, taking me by surprise. I sputtered a little, accidentally spilling water onto my shirt, and she added, “Just a simple vacation to help ease your mind about recent events.”

“But what would happen if Torrentican, or some other nasty thing shows up?” I finally managed to say.

She smiled, and chuckled slightly. “With that last beating you gave Torrentican, we know for certain that he will be incapacitated for at least a week. Therefore, in order to help preserve the balance, you will take a week of your time to relax, and not worry about ANYTHING,” She said, placing extra Celestial emphasis (It’s a term!) on ‘anything’.

“Where would I go then?” I asked, still not willing to accept this as a simple vacation.

“Hephaestus and Poseidon both requested that you go to Camp Half-Blood, and I agree with them. You haven’t been there in quite some time, and I am sure that your friends would be quite glad to see you,” She replied.

“But-”

“And to ensure that you do relax,” Celestia interrupted, “You will take one of your friends from this world with you. I know that you have a potion of some sort that will prevent her from aging for an entire week.”

I gaped at her. I know it was probably disrespectful, but come on! I was being told to take a paid vacation by not just one, but FOUR (Yeah, I’m counting Luna in this equation) Gods of Good. That’s like working for Donald Trump, and then out of nowhere, he comes and says, “Hey, good job. Have a Yacht!” to you.

Celestia laughed, and said, “You obviously haven’t been told this in a while?”

I shook my head. “Mostly it’s been when I’ve been working for other worldly companies with a hero/heroine, so…yeah, not in a while.”

“Sean, you need the break. I suggest you go home, and tell your friends what I’ve told you. If you would like, I can teleport you back and save you the walk,” She offered.

I thought about it, and said, “If it’s not too much trouble. Those guards of yours don’t make for good conversationists. Too much like those blokes in England.”

Celestia grinned, understanding what I meant, and her horn glowed, sending me back to my home in a brilliant flash of sunlight.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

I stumbled on the doorstep, and fell onto my own welcome mat, my face planted into the ground. “Ow,” I muttered, as I got up and dusted myself off.  I turned around to see six surprised faces, and I grinned stupidly. “Did you drop by to say hi?”

“Actually, we just got a letter from Princess Celestia,” Twilight said, stepping forward. “It said that we should come here and see you about…” She trailed off, uncertain as to what she should say.

I unlocked the door, and held it open for the ponies. “Well, come on in. We can talk about this over dinner. I’m making my Traveler’s stew!”

Walking into my kitchen, I idly snapped my fingers, and sent a spark of fire at my fireplace, which was promptly set ablaze, and it warmed the room with its cheery glow. I hefted up a large black pot, and whistled as I sliced up random bits of vegetables and tossed them into the pot. Soon, the pot was filled with chunks of carrots, potatoes, bits of roots that I couldn’t remember the names of (only that they tasted good), peas, corn, and various herbs that added to its flavor.

I put the now heavy pot over the file, and said, “Pinkie? Would you mind stirring the pot for me while I get everypony a drink and set the table?” She nodded happily, and set about stirring the contents of the pot, the rich smell soon filling the room and causing everypony’s stomachs to grumble.

Cooking isn’t something I’m particularly good at, especially in the ‘Fancy Cuisine’ area. Now that being said, I am really good at making a certain type of meal. Not the kind of meal meant to just be fancy and for show, but the kind of meal that just…well, you know. The kind of meal that warms you on a cold winter’s day, the kind that just makes you feel better. It fills you up, and tastes pretty good to boot.

Those are the kinds of meals I excel at cooking, and stews are right up my alley. There were many a time I’d had to make a meal like that for a sick child (or three certain fillies who I got roped into babysitting somehow), and it’d done them wonders. I guess it’s just the fact that I always put more value in a home cooked meal, then in some sort of fru-fru-tiny-as-all-get-out dinner.

I shook myself out of my thoughts, and focused on setting the table. Rainbow Dash flew over to me, and said, “Hey, is something going on? You’ve been really quiet since we got here.”

Shrugging, I said, “I’ll explain during dinner. I’m still trying to figure out how to explain it to y’all. It’s kind of…heavy, to say the least.”

Rainbow Dash looked at me, but then took the bowls out of my hands, and placed them at various seats around the table. I blinked, surprised, and said, “Um, okay then? I’ll go get the dri-”

Just as I reached a hand out for the heavy tray, a blue glow encompassed it, and Rarity called out from the living room, “It’s fine Darling, I’ve got it! You just worry about getting dinner prepared!”

I grumbled under my breath, but let Rarity do that. It’s just a small peeve of mine, but I don’t like it when I have guests, and they manage to take most of the work out of my hands. I know it’s old fashioned, but dammit, I’m the host, I should have to cater to the guests! Especially when they’re all ladies! Not to sound sexist or anything, but the first eight years of my life were filled with lessons on “Southern Hospitality,” or in other words, “Ladies first, hold doors open,” that stuff.

As soon as I turned to head into the living room to grab the stew, Twilight walked in, and levitated the massive pot onto the table, and grinned. “It was ready, and I thought that it would be easier if I just moved it into here for you.”

I sighed, and said, “Y’all just wanna get me to tell you what’s up faster, don’t you?”

They grinned sheepishly, while Pinkie bounced around, and said, “Maaaaaayyyyybeeee.”

“Confound you ponies,” I cursed, laughing. “Alright, get yourselves seated, and I’ll dish out the ste-” I stopped once I saw Fluttershy ladling out bowls of stew for everypony, and Applejack placed some buttered bread next to each bowl. “…I’m just gonna eat now. Or has that been done for me too?”

They all giggled, and I sat down, eating my stew. I bet you’re wondering how I got it to cook that fast. Well it’s simple: Magic Ponies. Seriously, it’s magic, I ain’t gotta explain shit!

While we ate, I told the ponies about my conversation with the Princess, attempting to sound casual about it, but they weren’t fooled. They could tell that this was bugging me, yet they wisely decided to just let me tell them.

“So, in conclusion, I have to take a weeklong vacation, oh, and I have to ask one of you to come with me…” I finished, cramming the last of my bread into my mouth. They all looked at me, and the expression on their faces was one that I didn’t expect in the least: Excitement.

“Uh, girls? Why are you smiling like that?” I asked fearfully.

“Well DUH! You’re getting a vacation!” Pinkie said happily, jumping up and down in her seat. “Where do you get to go!?”

“Camp Half-Blood. Couple of Gods wanted me to drop by. It’s like a summer camp type deal,” I said lamely, trying to come up with a good way to explain it.

“So which one of us is to accompany you?” Rarity asked, her eyes sparkling. “I would imagine that-“

“Applejack,” I interrupted. Best to just get it over with.

Everypony looked confused, and the farmpony asked, “Wah would ya want ta take me?”

“Do you want the honest answer, or the sugar-coated answer?” I replied, a guilty smile on my face.

Everypony looked at me, and I chuckled. “Alright, honest answer it is. I really would like to take all of you, but as it can only be one…Twilight, I can’t ask you because you’re not exactly athletic enough, and you can be a little naïve…”

She grimaced, but nodded, agreeing with me. I looked at Rarity, and said, “Rarity, I know how uncomfortable you are with getting down and dirty, so I can’t ask you to make yourself uncomfortable. Fluttershy, you’re too gentle for this world. Trust me, if the jerks from Ares cabin found out how timid you are…”

I coughed slightly, and continued. “Rainbow, I can’t take you because of…Ahem, well they have stables with…I’mma just leave it at that.”

Pinkie Pie opened her mouth to say something, and I placed my hand over her, and quickly said, “The fourth wall is unstable enough as it is!”

She rolled her eyes, and giggled underneath my palm. I let out a sigh of relief, and looked at A.J’s emerald eyes. Speaking slowly and clearly, I said, “A.J, if it isn’t too much trouble, would you please come with me?”

Applejack adjusted her hat, and said, “Well shucks, Omnius, ya don’t even have to ask!”

I smiled, and got up from the table. “Thanks. We’ll head out in five minutes, and be back here in a week. Well, it’ll seem like a week to us, but in reality it will be only a couple of minutes if what Celestia said is right.”

Grabbing my usual backpack, I dashed into my room, and found a slender red vial on top of my dresser. I snatched it, and raced back down, saying, “Alright, Applejack, you don’t have to pack anything, I’ve got the essentials in my pack, and there’s another passage to The Vault at camp. Just chug this, and we’ll be on our way!”

A.J took the vial, and eyed it. “What’s in here?”

“Potion made from the Sorcerer’s Stone. It’ll stop you from aging for one week exactly, thus making sure we don’t accidentally break time,” I explained. I hugged the others, and said, “Alrighty then, I’ll be gone for a week, you’ll see me in a couple minutes!”

They laughed at my crazy Traveler logic, and returned the hugs happily. As soon as I had hugged Pinkie, I went over to A.J, and said, “Last chance to back out!”

She pried the cork off of the bottle, and chugged the entire contents of the bottle in one go. She grinned, and replied, “Does that answer your question?”

Placing a hand on her side, I said, “I guess so. Now then: Lettsa Go!”

And together, Applejack and I were off!

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

As soon as I felt my feet touch the soft grass of the hill, I sighed. “Welp, we’re here App- YE GODS!”

I quickly took off my coat, and draped it over Applejack’s shoulders, my face feeling extremely hot.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, looking at me in confusion. “And why do I feel different?”

“Erm…You’re um, a- Oh, fuck it: Applejack, you’re a human now,” I blurted out, digging through my backpack, and doing my best not to look at her.

“Well wah are ya actin so…”

“Applejack, you only have your hat on,” I said simply, finally pulling out a long trench coat. I handed it to Applejack, and kept my eyes shut. “Would you mind throwing this on? At least until we get into Camp…”

Applejack grabbed the trench coat, and I heard her giggle nervously. I had already explained to her why Humans wore clothes, so she wasn’t exactly ignorant of why I was embarrassed. It made it even more awkward when you considered that in human form, Applejack wasn’t exactly…bad looking.

I coughed, and shook those thoughts out of my head before they could even form. Bad idea for me to try and think of anything like that. A light tap on my shoulder made me turn, and I felt my eyebrow shoot up as I took in Applejack’s new, temporary form.

She was a couple inches shorter than me, and her hair was still bound in its trademark Ponytail (why haven’t I asked them what they call that hairstyle?), where it gently reached just a little bit below her shoulder blades. Her face was still covered with flecks of freckles, and her eyes were still the same, shimmering, Emerald orbs that they always were.

Applejack looked at me, and said, “Omnius? You feelin’ alright there?”

I cleared my throat, and adjusted my bandana. “Yeah, I’m good. Now then, before we head to Camp, we need to make sure that you can walk alright,” I said, thankful that the slope of the hill was big enough for us to get Applejack acquainted with her new ‘Human’ form.

“Aw, that’ll be easy!” Applejack said, right before she took a step forward, and tripped. I caught her, and chuckled.

“Trust me AJ, getting used to a new form takes time,” I said as I set her on her feet.

“How long did it take ya to get used to yer Pony form?”

“Hm…A few hours,” I answered. “It probably would have been longer, but the fact that your sister was caught in that storm made me learn a LOT faster.”

She sighed, and said, “Ah’m gonna fall a lot, aren’t I?”

“Oh, definitely. Call this Karma for when you laughed at my first flight attempts,” I said cheerfully.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

A couple of hours later, Applejack had made some great progress. She could now manage a walk, but if she had to go faster than a jog, she’d start stumbling, and if she had to make any sharp/sudden turns, she’d fall down.

I nodded, and said, “Alright, you’ve got it down. Now come on, it’s almost lunch time!”

We walked up the hill, and I had to stop and smack my forehead. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” I muttered to myself.

“What?” Applejack asked, looking at me.

“It’s nothing. Come on, we need to meet Chiron,” I said, quickening my pace.

I should have thought of this earlier, but I MAY have left out one teensy-tiny little itty-bitty detail about humans…It wasn’t much of a problem in Equestria, as I tended to eat in Pony form most of the time, but now, since we were surrounded by other humans…How the hell was I gonna tell Applejack about us eating meat? I know that we don’t HAVE to, but still.

“I’ll have to talk to Chiron about that,” I mumbled under my breath. We reached the top of the hill, where a massive pine tree marked the top, standing as a lone sentinel for the camp. The tree marked the border of the camp. A glittering, Golden Fleece hung on a low branch, and a bronze mass of scales and muscles picked itself up, and glared at us.

“Yo,” I called out, waving at the dragon, and gripping Applejack’s hand in my own. “Good to see you again.”

The dragon blinked, and snorted happily. He turned his gaze to Applejack, and bared his teeth a little.

“She’s with me.” The dragon nodded his head, and wrapped himself around the tree again, sighing in content, and he closed his eyes, seemingly falling asleep.

“He sure don’t talk much,” Applejack commented.

“Dragons don’t talk at all on this world,” I replied simply. “At least, I haven’t met a talking dragon yet. Mostly because they’re either sleeping, or trying to kill me. Meh, what can you do, eh?”

Applejack looked surprised, but she didn’t say anything as I led her down the hill, and into camp. I suppressed another sigh of relief when she and I were both able to get through the barrier that was supposed to keep mortals out. I looked at the sea, and thought, “Thanks Poseidon.”

As if to answer me, a large wave crashed onto the beach, and I smiled. Yeah, it’s Good to be The Traveler.

I stopped a little ways from the bottom of the hill, and said to Applejack, “A.J, welcome to Camp Half-Blood!”

Her eyes widened, as she took in the huge area. Ahead of us was The Big House, which was basically just an old farmhouse/mansion thing that was painted sky blue, and had an Eagle-shaped weather vane on top of it, the symbol of Zeus. There were a few campers out and about, and a few of them waved at me.

I waved back, and said, “What do ya think A.J?”

She shook her head, a large smile on her face, and she said, “I cain’t believe that there’s that many strawberries out there!”

I grinned, and started walking again, saying, “I have a feeling that you’ll like it here.”

As we walked, I glanced over at the porch of the house, and saw two of my favorite people. One was a boy (or man, in Spartan terms) with black hair, and sea-green eyes, and the other was a girl with sandy-blonde hair, and grey eyes the color of a brewing storm. She wore silver owl earrings, and they were both holding hands and laughing at something that the other must have said. Both of them wore an orange t-shirt that had “Camp Half-Blood” on it in big block letters.

“Annabeth! Percy!” I shouted, waving my hand at them to get their attention. They both looked at me, surprised, and I added, “What? I can’t drop by from time to time?”

Percy was the first to recover, and he hurtled over the side of the railing that surrounded the building. Annabeth quickly followed suit, both of them running towards us. I felt myself get hugged by Annabeth, and she said, “Nate! It’s good to see you again!”

“You too,” I replied, hugging her back. I let go of her, and gave Percy a high five, and said, “Hey Perce! How’ve things been?”

He smiled, and said, “Great. We’ve pretty much finished building the new cabins, and new demigods are still pouring in everyday.”

I shook my head, laughing. “Wow. Hard to believe it’s only been, what? A couple of weeks since the Battle of Manhattan?”

“Yeah. Hey, who’s your friend?” Annabeth asked, finally noticing Applejack.

“Erm…Well, how do I put this...” I started, scratching my beard. “Percy, Annabeth, this is Applejack. She’s one of my friends from, uh, out of town, you could say.”

They nodded, understanding what I meant, and I casually added, “You know, I betcha Chiron would like to meet her. Know where I could find the old mule?”

“Who are you calling a mule?” An indignant voice called out good-naturedly. All four of us turned, and spotted a middle-aged man, who was sitting in a wheel chair, smiling at us.

“Chiron!” I said, happily jogging over. I shook his hand, and said, “Well maybe not a goat, but come on! Don’t blame me for wanting to use that joke!”

He chuckled, and waved his hand at me. “I know, I know. I must say, I’m rather surprised to see you back so soon! And as Annabeth asked, who is your lovely young friend?” He asked, eyeing Applejack warily.

“It might be a good idea if we talk about this INSIDE,” I emphasized, looking at Applejack and then at my shirt.

Chiron’s eyes narrowed, and he said, “Ah. Friend from out of town?”

“Eyup.”

“Very well then. Percy, Annabeth,” He said in a tone of authority.

They nodded again, and we all walked inside, and surrounded a ping-pong table. I pulled out a chair for Applejack and helped her get seated. I ignored the looks that the others gave me, and sat next to her, placing my arms on the table.

We all sat quietly for a few moments, before Chiron spoke up. “So…who is your friend?”

“Mah name,” Applejack finally said irritably, “Is Applejack. And Ah ain’t deaf.”

Chiron blinked, and I added, “That’s what you get for taunting an Equestrian.”

“Equestrian?” Percy asked confused. “Doesn’t that mean-?”

“Long story. Get comfortable,” I interrupted. “Alright, this’ll tell you why I’m here, why A.J’s here, and why you might feel a certain connection to her.”

“How did-”

“Shut up, and all will be answered,” I interrupted. Clearing my throat, I got ready for another round of storytelling.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

“So now, on suggestion of your Dad and Hephaestus,” I finished, looking at Percy, “I’m gonna be here for a few days, and Princess Celestia told me to bring along a friend to make sure that I relaxed.”

Percy nodded, and then looked at Applejack. “So…a Pony?” He asked hesitantly, as if he were going bonkers.

She nodded, and Annabeth asked, “Why are you wearing that Trench coat during the summer?”

I cleared my throat for what felt like the thousandth time that day, and said, “Well, see, I didn’t know that she would, um, transform like that, so she doesn’t exactly have any clothes. I was hoping you could get someone from the Aphrodite cabin to lend her some duds or something.”

She blushed, and said, “Oh. Well, it looks like she’s just about my size…I’ll see if I can find her something to wear.”

Applejack grimaced, and said, “Uh, thank ya kindly. Ah’m just not really used to this body yet…Where Ah’m from, we don’t normally wear clothes, exceptin’ for special occasions.”

Chiron tapped my shoulder, and looked at me with a serious expression on his face. “I feel that it would make things much easier if we were to just show her the orientation film. I’ll explain a few more things for her after, if necessary.”

“Thanks Chiron. Hey, we might need a cover story for her if anyone asks who her Godly parent is,” I realized, scratching my head.

“Actually,” Percy cut in. “She could just stay with you in your cabin. That way, if anyone asks, she’s just like your sister or something.”

I blinked. “Percy, that’s brilliant! Annabeth must be finally rubbing off on you.”

He punched my shoulder, and I winced. “Ouch. Jeez, that stupid Achilles thing really gets on my nerves sometimes.”

We all shared a laugh, and Chiron brought Applejack into the other room, in order to get her acquainted with the basics. Annabeth, Percy, and I all sat in silence, as we waited.

“Hey Omnius…?” Annabeth finally asked.

“What?”

“Were you cute as a pony?” She teased, smiling.

I facepalmed, while Percy cracked up, laughing at my expense. “Shut up Wise Girl,” I muttered, smiling.

“Come on Traveler!” Percy goaded. “Answer the question!”

Sighing, I leaned back in my chair, and mumbled, “Yes…”

“What was that?” He asked, leaning forward, and putting a hand next to his ear.

“A boot to the head.”

“Wha-?” THUNK! A boot flew out from underneath the table, and hit Percy in the face. “And one for Annabeth and the wimp!” Two more boots flew out, one of them hitting Percy again, and the other hitting Annabeth’s shoulder.

“And that is what we call Karma,” I said, laughing, and nearly falling out of my chair. I got up, and stretched, glancing at my watch. “Wow, is that really the time? I’m sorry to have talked the day away. We must have missed dinner…”

“It’s no big deal,” Percy said, rubbing the red spot that formed where the boot hit him.

“Oh, that reminds me!” I looked around, and whispered to them both, “Um, if you can, try not to let A.J see any meat related meals. She might be human now, but the thought of eating meat might, well…”

Annabeth rolled her eyes, and said, “Nate, I kind of thought that might be the case.”

“Right. Smartest person in the room right now,” I said, slapping my forehead again. “Right. Well, I’m off to bed. Mind tellin’ A.J where my cabin is?”

“Sure. See you in the morning,” Percy said, clapping me on the shoulder, probably harder than was necessary.

“Ow.”

u]XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

I tossed my backpack in a corner of my cabin, and sighed. Flipping the switch next to the door, a few flickering lights revealed a meager looking room, with only a few bunks in it. I threw myself on the nearest one, and let my thoughts wander for a few minutes, as I waited for Applejack to get here.

“So…vacation…wow,” I said out loud, talking to myself. “This is new. Wonder what me and A.J are gonna do tomorrow…Definitely avoiding the stables at all costs. Volleyball might seem a little too tame for her…I could show her the arena tomorrow…I know that Clarisse still owes me a fight from last time. Maybe I can trick A.J into scaling the Lava Wall. That’d be good for a few laughs. Canoeing sounds fun too. I know that Percy and Annabeth would be into it…” I trailed off, and just silently watched a few flecks of dust swirl through the air.

I lay there, wide awake, afraid to go asleep. Finally, the door opened, and Applejack walked in, carrying a spring-green backpack that must have been filled with various clothes for her to wear.

“Hey A.J,” I said, giving her a small wave from my bunk.

“Howdy,” She replied, a strange look on her face.

“What’s up?” I asked, getting up.

Applejack sat down on the bunk across from mine, and sighed, saying, “Ah guess it’s just a lot to take in. Ah mean, this is just really different from what Ah’ve seen before, and…”

I got up, and sat down next to her. “I know how that feels. But don’t sweat it A.J. It’ll probably end up that you forget most of this when we go back, since it might screw up the story too much. Of course, until an event comes that forces you to forget it, then you’ll still remember it. Does that make any sense?”

She laughed, and punched my shoulder. “Normally, no, but Ah’ve known ya long enough to know what yer tryin’ ta say.”

I laughed with her, and said, “I guess that’s a good thing. Well, it’s getting late. Time to hit the hay, right?”

She yawned, and I had to resist the urge to join her. Getting up, I flicked off the light switch, and crawled into bed.

“Night Applejack.”

“G’night Omnius…”

Not even two minutes later, she was sound asleep, snoring softly. I simply lay in my bed, and stared at the bunk above me. I fought for as long as I could, but inevitably, sleep overtook me, and I fell victim to my nightmares once again.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

A long corridor of mirrors stretched before me, each reflection showing my evident surprise and fear. Seeing that my back was against a wall, I started walking down the long hall, my footsteps echoing eerily.

A low chuckle cut through the silence, and I whirled, expecting to find something behind me. Instead, I found that the entire hall had warped, and was now a mess of unevenly shaped mirrors, each reflection a mocking apparition of some sort. I turned tail, and fled, unnatural fear permeating my heart. I finally burst out of the hall, only to find myself in a black room, with only a single shaft of light illuminating a window in front of me.

Tentatively, I walked forward, and looked at the reflection in front of me. Through the window, I could see a black figure standing in it. He had black skin that seemed to be made of living shadows, and his clothes were almost the same shade, and torn in grisly gashes everywhere. He slouched, and his arms hung limply at his side, as if he were measuring up his prey…

I looked closer at his hands, and saw fragments of jagged, purple crystal that levitated a few inches away from his fingertips. Every time his hand moved, the crystals would follow, leaving an after trail that seemed to cut through the very fabric of reality.

The figure lifted its head, and gazed at me with pale yellow orbs of light. I lifted a hand, and the figure copied me. Paling, I realized that it wasn’t a window I was staring at.

It was a mirror.

The mirror shattered suddenly, and the figure burst through, plunging the crystal into me.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Screaming, I shot up, my eyes darting around, expecting to see the Obliterator Aura crouched in front of me, ready to sink its deadly claws into my chest. Applejack wrapped an arm around me, and said in a low voice, “Omnius, it’s okay, there’s nothing there.”

Panting heavily, I forced myself to calm down, and stop screaming. My heart pounded in my chest, and my shirt was soaked in sweat.

“What…happened?” I finally managed to get out.

“Ah don’t know,” Applejack said, sitting on my bed next to me. “You were hollerin’ in yer sleep, and Ah was tryin’ ta wake ya up.”

I gulped, and started trembling. “Sorry if I woke you,” I apologized, unable to stop my shaking.

Applejack smiled, and said, “Don’t worry ‘bout it. You were having a bad dream.” She looked at me, a concerned look on her face, and asked, “Want to talk about it?”

“…” Was my only reply. I reached over to the nightstand that was next to the bunk, and grabbed my glasses. As soon as I put them on, I got up, and grabbed a new shirt and jeans from my bag, and said tiredly, “I’m gonna get ready for the day. You can go back to sleep if you want, but I need to go…hit something. I’ll be in the arena if you need me.”

I walked into the bathroom, and changed, wiping off my body with a wet towel. As soon as I was satisfied with my now semi-clean appearance, I quietly left the cabin, pretending not to notice that Applejack was only pretending to be asleep.

The sun was barely reaching out over the horizon, and I took in a deep breath of the fresh morning air. There were only a few campers out and about, so I managed to sneak into the arena before anyone else did.

Wrapping some boxing tape around my hands, I went over to a dummy that was wearing a full set of Greek armor, and started whaling on it, pounding my fists into it again, and again, trying to lose myself in the exercise.

A few hours later, I had literally beaten the stuffing out of the dummy, but was still hitting it with all of the strength I dared risk. I didn’t realize it, but several other campers had started to trickle in, and they were watching me quietly, as if afraid that I would turn my rage on them too.

Screaming, I finally picked up the large dummy, and flung it across the room, where it fell apart, stuffing and bits of armor rolling across the floor. I took in a deep breath, and looked around at everyone who was staring at me. Snarling, I looked at them all, and said, “What are you looking at?”

They quickly fell into their own routines, ignoring me completely, and I nodded. “That’s what I thought.” Turning, I walked over to the dummy, and started picking up its remains, not wanting to leave a mess. Just before I could grab the helmet, a muscular arm grabbed it before I could, snatching it away from me.

“Clarisse,” I said coolly.  “Nice to see you again.”

She grunted, and added the helmet to my pile. I nodded my thanks, and dumped the remains into a trashcan that was already filled with broken swords and torn armor.

“How’re things?” I asked, punching at another dummy.

“Better,” She replied, putting on some armor, and strapping a shield to her arm. “You?”

“Wish I could say the same.” I continued punching the dummy, aiming for its armor this time so I could make sure it lasted longer. My knuckles felt bruised, and there were small cuts from where the armor had cut through the tape, but I ignored it and kept punching.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep that up.” She tossed a chest plate at me, and I caught it, looking at it suspiciously. “How about you fight something that can fight back?”

I strapped the chest piece on, and summoned my sword. I raised my eyebrow, and said, “We finally gonna get to that fight you promised me a while back?”

She grinned. “Good to see you’re still a smartass.”

“I’d rather be a smartass than a dumbass,” I replied. With that, Clarisse charged at me, swinging her sword at my neck, and I hurried to parry the blow.

“Less yakking, more hacking, hm?” I said, jabbing at her knee. She flicked the sword tip away, and went on the offensive, forcing me to parry all of her blows. I rolled backwards, and slashed my sword at the ground, sending up a cloud of dirt to throw off Clarisse. She grimaced, and jumped back, wiping dirt from her face, and I took the opportunity to attack her, going after her sword hilt.

I finally managed to pry the tip of my sword into the small space between her fist and the grip, and forced her to drop her weapon. I brought the tip of my sword up to her neck, and panted, “Boo-ya-ka-sha.”

We stood there for a minute, eyeing the other warily, before Clarisse started laughing. I grinned, and dismissed the sword. “Good fight,” She said, clapping a hand on my shoulder. As soon as she said that, everyone around us started clapping as well, and I noticed that another small audience had gathered.

“Thanks. You too. I guess I needed that,” I shrugged, removing the chest plate.

“Survivor’s Guilt getting to you again?” Clarisse asked, helping me with a tricky strap.

“Not exactly. I lost control of another Aura not too long ago,” I simply said. I trusted Clarisse now, ever since she proved that she wasn’t such a huge jerk when she proved her strength at the Battle of Manhattan (Applejack still thought it was called “Manehatten”), and she knew about my Traveling.

She hissed, and said, “How bad was it this time?”

“Nearly hurt my friends, again, and it’s still lingering, waiting for me to get desperate enough to summon it. I’m worried I might accidentally call it up now,” I confessed, pouring myself a cup of water from the nearby water cooler thing (I REALLY need to get a thesaurus or something!). Instead of drinking it, I splashed the contents onto my face, washing off the sweat and dirt my training had caused.

“What Aura was it?”

“I dunno. It’s kind of a new one. It thrives on pain, and only wants to cause more and feel more, so I decided to call it the Obliterator Aura.” I got another cup of water, and drank it this time.

Clarisse shook her head, and said, “Wow. How bad is it?”

“Think of Ares when he gets into his war mode. Remove all emotions, and replace them with pain, and a drive to cause pain. It doesn’t care about getting hurt, and it can find out the most painful ways to hurt you,” I said, dismissing my sword.

“Well, don’t let it get to you,” Clarisse said, visibly disturbed. “You have it under control now, right?”

“Technically…”

“Then don’t worry about it! What is it you’re always saying? ‘No Worries’?” She pointed out. “You obviously don’t want to use it, and now that you know that it’s there, you can control it!”

“Pfft,” I snorted. “Don’t let Torrentican hear you say that. He might bust another rib laughing so hard.”

She smacked me upside the head, and said, “I’m being serious! Don’t let the fact that you have power scare you! You’ve handled worse things before right? This thing can’t be as bad as your Dark Aura!”

“You’re right,” I said simply. “It’s worse. Thanks for the pep talk though. I actually feel…better.”

“Of course you do!” She shouted. “Child of War just gave you advice on how to deal with something caused by war!” She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the worlds’.

I snickered, and said, “Right. Good ole’ Demigod logic!”

She punched my arm, and said, “Damn straight. Now come on, are you just gonna stand there looking like an idiot, or are you going to show your friend,” She pointed at Applejack, who had just shown up, “that you can fight?”

Grinning, I took up a fighting stance, and said, “Bring it.”

She put her fingers to her lips, and whistled. Three seconds later, the entire Ares cabin surrounded me, and I gulped audibly. “You tricked me…”

“All’s fair in war.”

“Sad but true.”

As soon as I said that, they all rushed at me, and I let out a battle cry of, “SPOOOOOOOON!”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Twenty minutes later, I stood, battered and bruised, swaying on my feet, as the last Ares Cabin member fell down, taken out by a flash kick to the chin. As soon as he hit the floor, Applejack came over, and hugged me as hard as she could.

“Ack! Ribs…cracked!” I choked out, hugging her back. “What was the hug for?”

“Just lettin’ ya know Ah’m still here.”

I smiled, touched, and said, “Thanks A.J. Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to go find a nice patch of ground to pass out on. Tally-ho!” Applejack caught me as I fell, and she laughed at my antics.

“Do you always do stuff like this?”

“No. Sometimes I’m asleep.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

The rest of the week passed by quickly, and for the first time in a long while, I finally relaxed, letting myself forget about the Obliterator Aura. There were a few noteworthy events that I thought were pretty hilarious…

Applejack capturing the Flag, much to the surprise of the entire camp…

Percy and Annabeth both getting pranked by me, while they were out canoeing…

Me swimming away from a bunch of sharks that Percy had summoned for revenge…

Me getting my revenge-revenge by bequeathing another boot to the head…

Applejack learning the art of Roundhouse kicks…Note to self, don’t volunteer to be practice dummy…

Soon enough though, it was time to leave. We said our goodbyes to everyone (Applejack refused to even so much as go near the stables the entire trip, once I told her what was kept there), and readied ourselves to leave.

“So what did you think about Camp Half-Blood?” I asked her, right before we left.

“Ah thought it was somethin’,” She said, smiling.

“Yeah…That’s good, right?”

“Of course it is! Ah hope that everypony can come next time ya do somethin’ like this,” She laughed.

I smirked, and said, “That might happen someday. For now, we need to head home!”

I grabbed her hand, and called out for the entire camp to hear, “IT’S GOOD TO BE THE TRAVELER!”

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

We landed in the small clearing behind my house, and I looked at Applejack. “Glad to be a pony again?” I asked, flicking a fly with my tail.

“Oh, like you wouldn’t believe!” She said, shaking herself.

I grinned, and said, “Now let’s go see the others! Remember, it’s only been a few minutes for them, so try not to go all ballistic, ‘I missed you’ on them.”

“Omnius, ya do that all the time!”

“Exactly. That means I know just how annoying it can be!”

BONUS CHAPTER: Confrontation

BONUS CHAPTER:

Confrontation

“Are you completely sure about this, Twilight?” I asked for what must have been the thousandth time.

Currently, we were standing in the middle of her basement. Well, I was standing in the middle of a magic circle, with thirteen different colored candles surrounding me. Twilight was buried in a book that hopefully held the cure to what was quickly becoming a very serious problem.

“I’m positive!” Twilight said, turning a few pages. “According to this book, when I light that last candle, you’ll be pulled into your own psyche, and be able to confront your…well, Dark Aura.”

I scowled, and turned my eyes back to the circle. “I still can’t believe that it came back,” I muttered, feeling a shiver pass over me. I had returned to Equestria because my connection to the Elements of Harmony was always stronger on their world. So far, it had helped me to keep the Dark Aura under control, but I was steadily running out of time before it would break free…

Thankfully, my personal miracle worker, Twilight Sparkle, had found an old book that contained information on, “Confronting One’s Inner Demons.”  So after three weeks of preparations, all of us, the rest of the girls included, were gathered in Twilight’s basement, ready to help me banish the Dark Aura once and for all.

“You’re sure this circle will hold me if anything goes wrong?” I asked, checking the lines with a practiced gaze.

“Yes, Omnius,” Twilight said, successfully hiding her nerves by letting herself become absorbed in her studies. Gotta hand it to her, she’s definitely my go-to gal for these situations.

“Hey, yer gonna be fine,” Applejack reassured me, giving me a small smile. “Yeh got rid of it once, and you can do it again.”

“Yeah! I’ve already got the party set up and everything!” Pinkie exclaimed, pulling out a box with a small chocolate cake in it.

…I. Love. These girls. They know me so well!

Nodding, I looked at the last candle, and took a deep breath. Closing my eyes, I whispered, “Twilight…do it.”

“Alright…” Twilight set the book down, and her horn glowed, and the candles started to slowly light themselves, each of the flames giving off a small, ominous glow.

Eleven…ten…nine…eight…seven…

Suddenly, I felt unexplained rage bubble up in my chest, and my right arm started to darken. The silhouettes of a dark chain danced underneath the surface of my skin, and I clasped my hand onto it, struggling to keep control.

Six…five…four…

My hair rustled, as if blown by a stray breeze, and a low growl escaped my lips.

Three…two…

I screamed in agony, the pressure starting to make me feel as if I were about to die.

One…

…

…

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

I opened my eyes to find myself standing on a lone island of stone, floating in a black abyss. All around me, small stone protrusions shot out, each one with small cracks filled with fire on them, providing an eerie orange glow.

Without any warning, a shadow lunged at me, and I knocked it aside with a panicked backhand, sending it flying off the island…

Well. That was anti-climactic. But finally…

“It’s over now, I know inside,” I softly sang.

        No one will ever know…

The sorry tale of my dark side,

And those who died, No one must ever know…”

Raising my hands up to my eyes, I looked at them sorrowfully. So much blood had been shed because of my inability to control my inner monster.

“They’d only see the tragedy.

They’d not see my intent.

The shadow of my evil

Would forever kill the good that I had meant…”

Leaning against one of the rocks, I continued my philosophical introspection.

“Am I a good man?

Am I a mad man?

It’s such a fine line,

Between a good man, and a…”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a shadow detach itself from a large rock, and slowly make its way towards me. Everything about it was horribly, horribly familiar to me…The Dark Aura.

Giving me a deranged smirk, it looked at me with contempt.

“Do you really think, that I would ever let you go?

Do you think, I’d ever set you free?

If  you do, I’m sad to say, it simply isn’t so…

You will never get away from ME!”

He slowly walked closer to me, and I backed away, never taking my eyes off of it.

With more courage than I felt at the moment, I pointed at it, and took a tentative step forward. Speaking clearly, I said,

“All that you are is a face in the mirror!

I close my eyes, and you disappear!”

Mimicking my movements, the Dark Aura took a step forward, and pointed a hooked finger at me, and twisted my words.

“I’m what you face, when you face in the mirror!

Long as you live, I will be right here!”

Stepping closer, I gathered up my strength, and sang,

“All that you are is the end of a nightmare,

All that you are is a dying scream!

After tonight, I shall end this Demon Dream!”

In the blink of an eye, the Aura disappeared, and I heard its harsh voice from behind me, mocking my words.

“This is not a dream my friend,

and it will never end!

This one is the nightmare, that goes on!

I am here to stay, no matter what you may pretend!

And I’ll flourish, long after you’re gone!”

Whirling around, I swung clumsily at it with my fist, barely missing its chin.

“Soon you will die, and my memories will hide you,

You cannot choose but to lose control!”

Dodging me, he laughed, and replied,

“You can’t control me! I live deep inside you!

Each day you’ll feel me devour your soul!”

“I don’t need you to survive, as you need me.

I’ll become whole as you dance with death!

And I’ll rejoice as you breathe your final breath!”

With a deep, vicious laugh, he jumped onto a massive pillar, and chains shot out of the ground, wrapping themselves around my arms.

“For I’ll live inside you forever!”

“NO!” I shouted, struggling against the chains.

“With Satan, himself by my side!”

“NO!!!” I felt myself slowly get pulled closer and closer to the edge of the island, and I glanced a pit of fire burning at the bottom.

“And I know, that now and forever,

They’ll never be able to separate

Traveler from I!”

At those words, images of my friends flashed in front of me, and I gained newfound strength. I pulled my arms up, breaking the chains, and shouted in defiance,

“Can’t you see it’s, OVER NOW!

IT’S TIME TO DIE!”

“No, not I, only you!” He lunged forward, grasping at my throat, and pushing me towards the edge.

“If I die, you die too!”

“You’ll die in me, I’ll be you!”

“Damn you monster! Set me free!”

“Can’t you see?!” It roared. “YOU ARE ME!”

“No! Deep inside-”

“I am you! You are mine!”

“No never!”

“Yes, FOREVER!”

“Gods Damn you!” I screamed, grasping at its clawed hands. “Take all your evil deeds, and ROT IN HELL!”

Suddenly the Dark Aura thrust its face into mine, and whispered, “I’ll see you there, Nathan.”

Snarling, I wrenched its hands away from my neck, and with strength born of pure terror, I lifted it up off the ground, and hurled it off of the island, screaming, “NEVER!”

Silently, it fell, its chains feebly grasping for something to save it from its fatal plummet. With a wordless howl, it fell into the fire, and a bright, blinding light filled the area.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Groaning, I opened my eyes to see a lavender colored pair of eyes staring at me concernedly.

“You’re awake!” Twilight shouted, before she wrapped her forelegs around me in a tight hug. I returned it tentatively, still trying to come to grips with what had happened.

“Did…did it work?” Fluttershy asked, looking at the both of us from behind Rainbow Dash.

I nodded, and felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

I was free.

Well, free of only one Aura…but at least now, I can have some semblance of control again.

“Twilight…Thank you,” I whispered, holding her close to me. “It’s finally gone. The Dark Aura will never hurt anyone again…”

For a long while, I just sat there, holding my friend, until the light of the morning peeked through the small basement window, chasing away the darkness.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

This is just a small bonus chapter that I felt like writing, because I had a certain Broadway song stuck in my head.  First one to name where it came from gets a free internet.

But seriously. I know this wasn’t that good compared to the others, but it was fun to write, and I’m proud of it. Heck, if it actually WAS good, I might write more of these. Thoughts?

Poker Night

Side Story:

Poker Night

Happy Easter everyone! Consider this a solid steel Easter egg with lasers and gattling guns. With pure, delicious, awesome, epic, chocolate and/or other candies inside.

“So, you said you wanted to learn more about some of my past Travels, right?” I asked Twilight, as we made the long walk down the stairs to my Vault.

“Well, yeah. You’ve been all over the universe, haven’t you?” Twilight said rhetorically. “But why are we headed to your Vault? Couldn’t you just tell me about them back at the library?”

“I could, true,” I replied, nodding my head as we reached the doors to the Vault. “But it’s Tuesday night.”

“So?” Twilight asked, giving me a very confused look. Huh. You’d think that by now, she’d be used to all of my strange, and seemingly unexpected, quirks.

“Tuesday is game night,” I stated matter-of-factly, knocking on the door.

“What does that have to do wi-”

“One sec,” I interrupted. I turned back to the doors, which had the by now, all-too-familiar scowling face on it. “Hey, doors, listen. I’m sorta late for Poker Night, so if you could just skip the usual process of asking me the personal stuff, we can just get on with it.”

The face blinked, but did as I asked, recognizing both my touch, and choice of words.

Plus, I was the only one who would ask to get into the Vault by saying stuff about a card game.

Stepping into the Vault, I looked around, and spotted a lone table with four figures surrounding it. I waved at them, and nudged Twilight with my knee. “Look alive, Twilight,” I said good-naturedly. “These are my poker buddies.”

She remained silent, but her eyes sparkled with a fierce desire to learn something from these “visitors”. Oh, she’d learn something alright…

“Here,” I said, reaching out and snatching a book off of a random pedestal. Twilight lifted it out of my hand with her magic, and I added, “It’s a book on Poker. I don’t have enough time to teach you much, but that should help you out a bit.”

“Wait, you actually expect me to play?” She said incredulously.

Why is everyone surprised when I do something unexpected? You’d think that they’d expect it by now.

“Yeah, I asked them if they’d be fine with it, and you’ve been approved.” Finally reaching the table, I pulled out a chair, and plopped down in it, giving everyone a huge grin. “Waz up, guys?”

“Ah, good to see you show up, Nate,” A man with a British accent said cheerfully, smoothing out some wrinkles in his long, tan coat. “I was starting to wonder if the TARDIS had taken me back too far.”

“Hey, do you really think I’d miss Poker Night?” I asked, feigning offense. “Perish the very thought!”

“You miss everything else,” An Australian man muttered, lifting his hat with his thumb, and peering at me through his gold colored sunglasses.

“In my defense, you’re the one who taught me how to shoot that damn sniper rifle in the first place.”

“Oh, come off it!” He chuckled, grabbing a deck of cards from off the table. “What’s with the pony? Does it talk like the annoying blue thing over there?”

“Step it up, Snipes,” The blue thing in question retorted. “You’ve said that more times than Eggman has tried to build an empire.”

“Alright, some introductions are in order!” I clapped my hands together, before we started arguing, and gestured at Twilight. “Fellas, this here is Twilight Sparkle, my friend I was telling you about.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” She said, bowing her head in respect.

“Ah. Say, Nate, is she-?”

“Yeah, I think you’ll meet her later.”

“Okay, that clears things up.” He extended a hand to her, and said, “Pleasure to meet you, Miss Sparkle. I’m The Doctor.”

“Doctor who?”

“Exaclty!” He replied happily, as the rest of us rolled our eyes.

“Um…okay?” Twilight said, unsure if he was being serious or not. Either way, she shook his hand, and he sat down, pulling a pair of glasses out of his coat pocket and sliding them onto his face.

The Australian tipped his hat respectfully to Twilight, and said, “I’m not one to give out my real name to any bloke or Sheila that walks in, so just call me Sniper.”

“Alright…” She seemed to be slightly regretting her decision to join me, but hey. Was she really gonna pass up an opportunity to potentially learn more about the multiverses, just because the first people she met were…eccentric?

“Hey there!” The blue creature said from his spot. “Name’s Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog. So, you’re that girl that Omnius won’t shut up about?” He said teasingly, winking at her conspiratorially.

While Twilight stuttered and tried to come up with a reasonable response, I grinned, and leaned forward, putting my elbows on the table. “Hey, Sonic…”

“What?”

“When are you and Amy gonna tie the knot?”

“Hey, don’t say that too loud!” He said, panicking slightly, his emerald eyes darting around, before he realized that there was no possible way that obsessive girl could follow him here.

We all shared a laugh at his reaction, and I pulled out a chair that was next to me for Twilight. “Okay, you all know why we’re here.”

“Of course we do, it’s Tuesday, isn’t it?” The Doctor said, scratching his nose.

“Right. But Twilight also wanted to hear about some of my past, erm, exploits, as it were. You three were the only ones who could make it, so…”

“Let’s get on with it then!” Sonic shouted, shuffling the cards at blinding speeds. While he shuffled, I pulled out a huge pile of poker chips, and divided them evenly among us, until we each had about ten-thousand dollars worth of chips.

The Blue speed demon dealt out the cards, and we all took a glance at our cards, trying to make sure that the others didn’t see them.

“Alright, so, who wants to say the first story?” I asked, tossing a few chips towards the center of the table.

“Why don’t we let the winner of this hand choose?” The Sniper suggested, adding a few chips to the pile.

“Good idea…All in!” Sonic called out, shoving his entire pile out. He grinned cockily at our amazed expressions, and chuckled.

Twilight checked her book, scanning the pages rapidly, before pushing her cards forward, and saying, “I fold…right?”

“Too right you are, miss,” The Doctor sighed, folding as well.

I looked at the hedgehog, and met his gaze evenly. “You’re bluffing, aren’t you?”

“Call it, and find out,” Sonic said, grinning confidently at me.

“…”

“…”

“…Damn you. I fold,” I grumbled, pulling my bandana over my eyes in shame. “You’re just doing this to tell your story first, aren’t you?”

“It’s possible.”

“I don’t want the game to end this early for ya, mate,” The Sniper said, pushing his cards forward. “I’ll fold…but I know you’ve got nothing.”

Sonic flipped over his cards to reveal a pair of Aces. “I had something!”

“Alright, I’ll give you that much,” Sniper muttered.

“Heh, yeah, that’s right. Fastest thing alive, and best card-player alive!” He laughed, giving Twilight a thumbs-up.

“I’d be careful if I were you,” Twilight smiled. “You don’t want Rainbow Dash to hear that! She’d take that as a challenge.”

“Oh, really?”

“NO!” I shouted, seeing where his thoughts were leading him. “Poker night! Remember? No other-worldly shenanigans! That was the agreement!”

“Relax, Nate, I’m just messin’ with ya,” he said, reclining in his seat. “Alright, now then, what’s a good story…Oh, I got it!” He snapped his fingers, and looked at Twilight mischievously. “How about I tell you about the first time we went to Casino Night Zone?”

“Oh, Ye Gods,” I half-heartedly complained.

“Alright, so get this: There was this mad scientist named Dr. Ivo Robotnik, or Eggman as me and my friends call him, who wanted to take over the world by taking animals and shoving them into robots. Tails, Nate, and I had to stop him, so…”

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“Hey, wait up, Sonic!” Tails called out, his tails twirling furiously as he tried to keep up with his idol/best friend.

“What he said!” I emphasized, panting heavily. I don’t know WHY I insisted on it, but I decided that I was gonna try and keep up using my normal running ability.

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!

Glancing upwards, I whistled at the massive city that was spread out all around us. Gotta hand it to Robotnik…when he takes over, he takes over in style. Right now, the three of us were standing at the entrance to the city’s most prestigious gambling club (conveniently owned by a certain mad genius), The Casino Night Zone.

The entrance itself was a testament to the overall snazziness of the casino. Bright flashing lights lit it up, almost transforming it into a fruity lighthouse. And according to Tails’ scanner, another chaos emerald was hidden away in it.

Greeeeaaaaaat. A casino. Made by a mad scientist. Who’s more than likely expecting us.

“Well, sure is snazzy,” Sonic said appreciatively. “Who wants to go first?”

Still waiting for my legs to stop shaking, I said, “How about a quick rest, and then we can go on?”

“I’m with Nathan on this one,” Tails said, landing right next to me. “Can’t we just take a break for a second?”

“Mm…nah! Just go into your Speed Aura, and we’ll meet up at the end of the casino. Let’s do it, to it!” He shouted, taking off in a blue blur.

I sighed, and glanced at Tails apologetically, as he followed Sonic quickly, his signature tails propelling him forward. “He’s off,” I commented, starting to summon my Aura. Thanks to that little blue son of a bleep, I was getting used to summoning my Aura quickly, and it seemed to be draining me less and less each time I used it…note to self, research that later.

Pushing my hair out of my face, and sliding my glasses up a little, I ran inside, picking up speed as I went. The inside was just as chaotic (ironic, as we’re looking for CHAOS emeralds…wonder what Discord would think of those) as the outside, with random lights put up everywhere, bathing the area in a wild glow. Somehow, the very atmosphere seemed to make me feel more energetic, like I wanted to take more risks, to live life on the edge.

It was intoxicating, to say the least. Red carpet led the way into the main area, and I sped down it, looking around at the slot machines and strangely convenient neon-signs (really, they’re gonna have “MILES” and “SONIC” written up there? They might as well have just done away with them, and put up a giant sign of Admiral Ackbar saying, “IT’S A TRAP!”).

And then I promptly tripped, and rolled down a steep incline, and gained even more speed. I’m just glad my stomach was already empty, or else I would’ve vomited at least…twenty times? Maybe more…

“GAAAaaaaAAAAaaaaaAAAaaaaaAAAaaah!” I screamed as I fell over a system of hills, unable to either stop or control myself. “Somebody help!”

Sonic and Tails stood at the edge of the hill, watching me with amused looks on their faces.

“Should we help him?”

“No, I wanna see what’ll happen when he hits the pinball paddles.” Sonic grinned, and kept watching.

I landed on one of the flippers, and felt myself get launched into the sky, still spinning uncontrollably. I collided with a round bumper with a picture of a white star surrounded by blue, and ricocheted into another, slamming my forehead into it. Luckily, it seemed to absorb the majority of the blow, preventing me from being seriously harmed, but…OUCH!

For a while, I kept bouncing around in the air, before I finally started rolling down another hill.

“Oh, sweet ground,” I said longingly, still sliding down the sharp incline. “How I missed you so- Wait, what’s that spring doing down there?”

As soon as my feet touched the top of it, I felt it start to coil, building up more and more pressure, until it was all violently released in a heart-stopping, “BOING!” of terror (for me at least).

“NOT AGAAAAAIIIIN!” I screamed, bouncing off of walls, and the floor, collecting rings and occasionally getting lucky by landing on a badnik.

Finally, I landed at the end of the Casino, bruised and extremely nauseous, but alive.

“Hey, guys…” I said, shaking my head. Sonic and Tails helped me up, and looked at me concerned.

“You okay?” Sonic asked.

“What happens in Casino Night Zone, STAYS in Casino Night Zone.”

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Laughing wildly, Sonic wiped away a tear from his eye, and said, “And then, if you’ll believe it, when we met up with Eggman at the end, he had it rigged so that it was a giant game of pinball! So, what Nate does, is he jumps onto another bumper, and instead of hitting Eggman, he hits the lightning gun at the bottom!”

We all roared in laughter, and even Twilight had to suppress a giggle at my expense.

“And then, to add insult to injury, Tails manages to get a good hit on him, and the lightning gun falls ON NATE!” Sonic reminded me, tossing more chips onto the pile.

“Oh, come off it,” Sniper said, raising the bet. “I can’t believe that he has THAT bad of luck with lightning.”

“You better believe it,” Twilight chuckled. “He told me he wasn’t even here for four hours before he got hit by a lightning bolt!”

“Yeah, well…shut up! Alright, put your money where your mouth is!” I retorted, flipping over the first three cards.

Twilight looked into her book, and Sonic groaned impatiently. “Come on, Twilight! Can’t you just go one minute without using a book?”

“Shush! I want to make sure that I make the right choice!”

“Lay off her, mate. Bloody hell, but I thought Scout was the only annoyin’ speed freak...No offense,” Sniper said, taking a sip of his coffee.

“None taken.”

Twilight studied her book for another minute, and then took a moment to calculate the odds…before finally saying, “I fold.”

“As do I,” The Doctor reluctantly agreed.

“Call it,” Sniper grunted.

I flipped over the final card, revealing…crap. Sonic and I both tossed our cards onto the table, and Sniper chuckled, scooping up the chips. “Thanks for standin’ still, wanka!”

“Great…well, I’m making a snack run. Anyone want anything?” I asked, getting up and pulling out a small notepad. “Just remember that rule I told y’all…”

“You mean the no me-oof!” Sonic started, before getting elbowed by The Doctor, whose eyes darted between Sonic and Twilight rapidly. Sonic’s eyes widened, before he nodded sheepishly. “Uh, right…I guess I’ll just go with some onion rings.” Under his breath, he added, “Can’t believe I can’t have Chili-dogs…”

“Just get me some coffee,” Sniper said, already dealing out another hand.

“Ah, I’ll take some chips.”

“Fries, got it.”

“No, I said chips.”

“Fries.”

“Chips.”

“Fries.”

“Chi-Oh, wait, you’re doing that thing again. Well played,” The Doctor said, shaking his head at my antics.

“Alright, and for you Twilight?”

“Could I please have some hay fries?”

“Chips, got it,” I replied in a British accent.

The Doctor was not amused. Neither was Twilight.

“Can’t blame a Traveler for trying,” I laughed, walking off. “You guys go on without me; I’ll be back in a flash.”

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“Alright, sheila, so whose story you wanna hear next?” Sniper asked the lavender unicorn, stealing a quick glance at his cards.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Omnius though?” Twilight said, looking at the others and feeling slightly nervous. Here she was, surrounded by aliens, and playing a game she hadn’t ever played before…all on an empty stomach.

“Hey, why do you call him that?” The Doctor asked curiously, flipping over another card.

“Call him what?”

“Omnius. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, mind you, but every one of his other friends I’ve met either calls him Nathan or Sean. Why not you?” He tilted his head, and watched the unicorn fidget as she tried to come up with an answer.

“I dunno, Doc, I call him Omnius whenever he goes Super-mode,” Sonic said, tapping his foot impatiently. “Kinda fits him more, don’t you think?”

“Alright, granted, that’s fairly true,” The Doctor admitted, recalling the “Satan Pit” fiasco. He shuddered slightly, as he remembered the rage on Omnius’ face when the so-called Devil tried to escape. “But that’s not the point.”

“You mean he only uses “Omnius” as an…alias?” Twilight asked, somewhat sadly.

“Well, occasionally. Mostly he yells it when he feels all heroic, or crusader-y.” The Doctor frowned, and raised an eyebrow. “Why, somethin’ the matter?”

“No, it’s…it’s nothing.”

“It’s obviously something if it’s botherin’ you. Come on, love, you can trust us! We won’t mention a thing to Nate about it,” The Doctor said, laying a reassuring hand on Twilight’s shoulder.

“It’s just that…if you’re his friends, and you can call him that, then why do I call him Omnius? Is it because he doesn’t really think of us as friends, but as something else he needs to protect?” Twilight slumped in her seat, feeling slightly guilty, and a small pang of…jealousy?

The Doctor nodded understandingly, and smiled warmly at her. “Maybe it’s not because of that…maybe you’re the one who thinks of him as the hero?”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Twilight was now more than a little confused.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Sonic, you’re being awfully quiet over there! What’re your thoughts?”

The hedgehog shrugged, and said, “I think that Nate needs to hurry up on those snacks.”

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A few minutes later, I had returned with a huge tray loaded with their food, and the game continued, as we idly made small talk before I suggested that Sniper tell his story for Twilight. I hoped he had one that was less embarrassing than the one that Sonic told.

Whatever happened to, “What happens in Casino Night Zone, stays in Casino Night Zone?” I’ll get him back for that…

Snapping myself out of my revenge scheme filled thoughts, I turned towards Sniper, and gestured for him to go on with his story.

“Hm…well, there are quite a few I could say…hmm…” The Sniper thought for a moment, before nodding. “Okay, I think I’ve got one. So, there we all were, trying to stop the RED team from takin’ our intelligence. I was at me usual spot, keeping away the other team, and Nate was just across from me, since I was trainin’ him to be a sniper. Now, we’re doing fine, when…”

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PING!

“Traveler, get down!” Sniper called, ducking behind a stone wall, narrowly avoiding another shot from the RED Sniper.

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” I shot back, peeking out from the edge. I pulled out a small pocket mirror, and held it out, trying to angle it so I could see the enemy sni-

PING!

“Oh, damn it! That was my only good mirror!” I cursed, tossing away the now useless shards of glass.

“Alright, pop quiz!” The Sniper called out from his position. “You and a mate are pinned down by not only a red Sniper, but also by a crazed bloke with a rocket launcher, and you have no idea if a Spy is coming to get rid of you! What do you do?”

“ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TRYING TO DO THIS, NOW?!” I shouted in disbelief, as another rocket soared past us.

“What are the three rules of being a professional Sniper?”

“I know, I know, be polite, efficient, and have a plan to kill everyone you meet!”

“Well, what’s your plan for killin’ them, then?”

I thought about it for a moment, trying to think. If I simply leaped out and took down the Sniper, I might, MIGHT, get lucky and send him back to the respawn, but then the soldier would get me, and by the time I’d return, the enemy sniper would be back in place, either taking me down, or taking the rest of my team down. If I went for the soldier, I’d get blasted by the Sniper.

What’s a Traveler to do?

“You’ve got ten-” PING. “Scratch that, six seconds to answer!”

Finally, I reached behind me, and grabbed a glass jar filled with a foul-smelling yellow liquid. Since I didn’t have enough time to aim a shot, I’d have to aim a splash…oh, ye gods, why did I let him convince me this was a good idea?

I guesstimated where the Soldier was, added one more foot to it (because I’m always off by one for some effin’ reason), and tossed the jar, yelling, “JARATE!”

There was the sound of broken glass, followed by the sound of a disgusted scream from the soldier, and…a spy? Okay, so Sniper was right. There was a spy. Lucky shot, I guess.

“Good answer!” Sniper praised, before leaning out and shooting the RED Soldier, while I ducked down out of the spot where my head used to be, and shot the spy.

“Now don’t forget the other bloke!”

Calmly, I aimed the rifle at the spot where the RED Sniper was, and waited for…yes!

“Yeah, the bullets come out of the slim end, mate!” I shouted triumphantly, pumping my fist into the air.

Without the suppressing fire, our Heavy was able to charge through, and provide a distraction while the BLU Spy snuck in, and snatched the intelligence, securing the final point we needed for our victory.

My rifle glowed, and crackled with blue lightning, and my mentor smiled.

“Mate, welcome to the big leagues. Go get ‘em,” he said, already aiming at a fleeing scout.

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“And that’s how Nate became an honorary Sniper,” He finished, taking another sip of his coffee. He glanced at the cup, and added, “Nice brew by the way. You make it yourself?”

“Nah, got a packet of premade stuff from a guy called Godot,” I replied.

“Good taste in coffee,” he grunted.

Twilight, however, was slightly shocked. “You…killed? And thought it was fun?”

“They had a machine that brought ‘em back, so no harm done. Sides, they’ve killed us a few times,” Sniper said nonchalantly, as if this were something he was used to explaining.

“But still! to do that so…so casually!”

I sighed, feeling a small twinge of regret for bringing Twilight along. Luckily, part of whatever magic that made me a Traveler (irreversible and guaranteed to not be copied!), would allow her to forget anything that pushed her too far for fate, or destiny, or whatever you want to call that strange force that guides us.

“Hey, Twi, it’s alright…just don’t really think too hard about it. That’s what I have to do,” I said sadly, tossing in a few more chips. I hesitated, before saying, “Hell with it, I’m all in.”

Everyone at the exact same time pushed their cards forward, and folded, allowing me to rake my chips back. Sonic cursed, and slumped in his seat, finally out of chips.

“Well, I’m out. I’ll stick around though, see how this turns out,” He said, chewing on an onion ring.

In an obvious effort to change the topic, The Doctor cleared his throat, and looked at me. “Well, that was fun and all, but now can I tell Twilight a good one?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” I said, looking at The Doctor seriously. “First, let me know which one! I don’t want any more embarrassing or traumatizing stories!”

“Oh, don’t worry! I’m just going to tell her about that time you and I had to deal with another lycanthrope,” He said, waving it off as if it were nothing.

“You mean the one before, or after, the one that tried to attack the Queen?”

“After.”

“Oh, well by all means, carry on.”

The Doctor nodded, and looked at Twilight, a mischievous grin on his face. “Now, Miss Sparkle, you’ll surely love this one. Now, quite some time ago, Nathan and I were both on this space station in the year…oh, what was it?”

He glanced at me, and I shrugged. “Hey, you’re the one with the super-sophisticated phone booth. I just jump outta the sky, and see what happens!”

“Right. Well, it was definitely after 2517…” He tossed a few more chips on the table, and kept going with his story. “Anyways, I detected some sort of stray radio signal that was calling for help, and as Nate and I just happened to be passing by, we figured it’d be a good idea to offer our assistance. It was at some Russian Space Station orbiting the moon….”

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“Heeeeeellllllooooooo?” I called out, cupping a hand to my ear to try and hear any type of response. The Doctor and I were currently in some sort of docking bay, although, as he quickly pointed out, it was oddly abandoned for being the only place that other ships could come and, for want of a better word, park.

“I don’t think that’s going to do you any good,” The Doctor said, his hands in his pockets as he looked around us. “It seems as if there’s no one here.”

“Well, then what about that S.O.S signal you picked up?” I asked, scratching my beard. “Someone had to have sent it!”

“True. Well, we’re not getting anywhere just standing here! Allons-y,” He cheerfully stated, before going towards the nearest door.

We started walking around, following a set of yellow arrows that pointed to the bridge. When we reached a security checkpoint, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise.

“Hey, Doc,” I said, looking inside of the window to the booth. “There’s no one in there.”

“Hm…that’s odd,” He went quiet as gears started to turn in his head.

Uh oh. He’s got that “Shit went down” look on him. Gulping, I asked him, “Doc, what’s your diagnosis?”

The Doctor said nothing, and instead pulled out his Sonic Screwdriver, and unlocked the door to the booth. Walking inside, he looked around, and said, “Nathan, you might want to take a look at this.”

Leaning inside, I saw that something had torn long gashes in the side of the wall underneath the windows. The gashes were about two feet long, and they had torn open the steel to reveal weakly sparking wires, some of them cut by whatever had ripped apart the wall.

“What could’ve done that?” I asked quietly, suddenly feeling paranoid. My hand reflexively went to my belt, and came away with a small fingerless glove that I quickly slid on. Clenching it into a fist, I glanced around, jumping at some of the shadows.

“Oh, quite a number of things, I’d imagine. Maybe an angry guard who just got fired, or maybe-”

“A werewolf?”

“Oh, yes, that would do it too. Why do you mention it?” The Doctor asked, turning to me.

“Just the big-ass monster that’s staring at us through the window,” I replied casually, locking the door in feigned calmness.

Sure enough, there was a HUGE werewolf standing outside of the booth, now pounding on the glass, trying to shatter it and get at us.

Slowly edging my way closer to The Doctor, and putting myself between him and the window, I asked out of the corner of my mouth, “Why isn’t the glass breaking?”

“Oh, there’s nothing to worry about, Nate!” The Doctor said confidently. “That glass is seven-inch thick, blaster proof glass. Built to absorb almost any blow, it could probably withstand one of those RPG’s you seem so fond of.”

“Hey, stick make thing go boom-boom!” I grunted. “But that’s good to know. What about the door?”

“I’m sorry, the what?”

Suddenly, the door started shaking furiously, and we could hear the sounds of another- WAIT, ANOTHER?!

“Doc…”

“Yes?”

“What’s your diagnosis?”

“If I had to guess, I’d say that the people aboard this station have been infected, and when they attempted a quarantine, they failed to account for the method of the disease spreading,” He said logically, scanning one of the computer monitors inside of the booth.

Oh plot convenience. Never leave me.

“Ah. So, how do we get out of here?” The door rattled again, and I added, “Without being chomped to tiny pieces? I’m not in the mood for being kibble.”

“Well, there’s the vents,” The Doctor replied, nudging a ventilation shaft with his foot.

“Good enough for me! Let’s amscray!” I shouted, tearing the vent open, and crawling inside. “Yo, Doc, come on man!”

We both crawled through the vents, relying on both a combination of memory and coin-flipping to get back to the docking bay. Once we reached it, I gulped audibly, and stopped in my tracks.

“Oi, be careful! I almost cra-”

“Shush! Doc, we’ve got a small problem.” I gestured in front of me, and said, “There’s a shit ton of them, and only two of us.”

“Yes, and your point?”

“Remember my earlier comment about not wanting to be kibble?” I whispered, turning around to glare at him. “We need to figure out a way to sneak past them.”

“You have a point…You wouldn’t happen to have any wolfsbane on you?” He asked.

“Wouldn’t you believe it? It’s in my other pants,” I said dryly.

“Shame.”

“Very.”

We both sat there in silence, trying to contemplate a way to get out of this mess.  I looked outside, and realized something.

“Hey, Doc…don’t these things react to moonlight?”

“Yes, that they do…Ah, are you thinking what I think you’re thinking, because if you are, that’s brilliant!”

“Thanks. Taco Tuesdays are always important. It’d mix up Poker Night for sure,” I nodded.

“No, not that! Although, I will admit, that’s a good idea…we’ll make a note of it,” He said, crawling to the entrance of the shaft. “But! If I can use my screwdriver to unlock the radiation shields, we can give them an overdose of pure, un-atmosphere filtered moonlight!”

“Do it,” I said, kicking open the vent. “I’ll buy some time. Go doctor us up some moonshine!”

“Did you really have to say that?” He shouted as he crawled out, and ran to the shields.

“When else was I gonna be able to say it?” I called back, my gloved hand glowing as I charged towards the wolves.

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“So, he fights back the wolves, I get the shields open, and we then made a tactical retreat, at full speed I might add,” The Doctor finished, pushing his chips towards the center of the table. “All in.”

“’Tactical Retreat’?” Twilight asked, confused.

“He means we ran away,” I answered, pushing my chips in as well.

Now, it was only down to me, Twilight, and The Doctor. Sniper had lost the rest of his chips during the story, and he was now watching the three of us go for it in one final hand.

Grinning smugly, I tossed down two queens, and said, “Pair, ace high!”

The Doctor groaned, and threw his cards away from him. “Ace high,” he grumbled.

“Well, it’s not too bad, Doc,” I said, chuckling. “You just can’t be as good at Poker as I am-”

“Royal Flush!” Twilight squealed, flipping over her cards.

I stared in amazement at her cards, and then looked at Twilight, a huge smile on my face. “Guess that book taught you somethin’ after all!” I said, pushing the chips towards her. Everyone applauded for her, and I glanced at my watch, wincing slightly.

“Wow, it’s getting late. Welp, gents and pony, I think it’s time to call it a night. Same time?”

“Time and space aren’t relative,” The Doctor reminded me jokingly.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I said, waving it off. “Just go the same way you came in.”

They all got up, and wandered off in seemingly random directions, before vanishing into thin air, without a trace.

“So, Twilight,” I said, getting up and walking towards the Vault doors. “What’d you think of that?”

“I can certainly say I learned…something,” she said, blushing a little. “What’s, ‘Jarate’?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” I answered. “But yeah, that was your crash course in alien culture. Congratulations! You passed with flying colors, but no actual money. Ah well, Live and Learn, right?”

She nodded, and her head started drooping. She let out a small yawn, and I shook my head, chuckling softly. Without saying anything, I picked her up, and set her on my back, ignoring her tired protests.

“Shaddap, and go to sleep,” I chastised, walking up the stairs. “You’re tired, and I don’t want you falling down these stairs when you reach the top.”

“But…I’m wide awake…I can…” She yawned again, and I adjusted her on my back, feeling her head fall onto my shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Twi,” I whispered. “I won’t let you fall.”

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Preview of Chapter 14:

Taste the Rainboom!

“Next part of the tour is the Lightning Chargers! That’s where we make the batteries for flashlights and such.”

“Lightning? Uh-oh.”

“Omnius, are you praying?”

“Five bits says I can drink an entire bucket of that rainbow stuff.”

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Okay, time for the next poll to open! You can now pick between:

A Bird in the Hoof

The Cutie Mark Chronicles

Owl's Well That Ends Well

Party of One

The Best Night Ever

“But wait!” Some of you may be asking. “Where’s ‘Over a Barrel’?”

Sorry people, but I’ve decided that chapter 18…will be an Author’s Pick! It’s not that it’s my favorite episode or anything, but I just had a few good ideas for it.

And come on: Who doesn’t want to see a bar fight scene?

Anywho, polls will close after I publish, "The Good, the Bad, and the Neutral!" Stay tuned!

BONUS CHAPTER: The Battle of Yavin

BONUS CHAPTER:

The Battle of Yavin

Outside of my house, lightning flashed, soon followed by the booming roar of thunder, as I sat inside of my living room, calmly blowing bubbles on my trusty bubble pipe.

Yes. I’m a semi-mortal being, who has dealt with demons and apocalypses on a daily basis, and I take enjoyment in using a bubble pipe. So sue me.

As previously mentioned, a storm was currently unleashing its torrential wrath upon Ponyville, due to a couple of missed storms. If you combined that fact, and my apparent bad luck with lightning in anything that didn’t involve fighting, I had made sure that I was comfortably holed up inside my home, with several bottles of coke, cupcakes, fresh cookies, and a few books that I had been wanting to read surrounding my favorite armchair. Again, like usual, I had also been…volunteered, to babysit.

Three simultaneous sighs filled the room, and I looked up from the book I was reading to glance at the three fillies staring forlornly out the window. Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo looked about as bored as I did whenever I tried to pay attention in an Algebra II class (mixing numbers with letters has never been a good idea in my books).

“Now what seems to be the problem?” I asked, closing my book, and setting it on the table besides me. For some reason, I felt like it was the perfect time to start talking in my best “Sean Connery” voice (yeah, yeah, yuck it up). “Don’t tell me that you girls are…bored?”

Applebloom turned from the window, and gave me her best sad eyes. “We are though! There ain’t nuthin’ to do here, since ya won’t let us go in yer vault!”

“Applebloom, if I let you girls in there, Ponyville would be a crater,” I chuckled, stretching my arms. Yes, I was in my human form, because thanks to that little incident with the cockatrice and Shadow-Stalkers, I had been forced to reveal it to them.

“Well…we’re just stir-crazy is all,” Sweetie Belle admitted, giving me an embarrassed smile.

“Stir-crazy? More like…actually, that fits,” Scootaloo fluttered her wings in an agitated fashion, and started buzzing about the room. “Come on! There’s gotta be something we can do!”

Maybe it was the guilt from not being able to tell them the story of how I had gotten my cutie-mark (or being able to make on up without feeling bad), but for some reason, I smiled, and said, “Sweetie, up on my bookshelf, there should be a green scrapbook. Could you three grab it for me?”

All three of them perked up, sensing that something interesting was about to happen, and they obliged me, hopping up on my armchair. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle settled in at my sides, while Scootaloo perched on top of the chair, while I opened the book to reveal…

“Whoa!” Scootaloo shouted. “Is that you!?”

Laughing, I fondly ruffled her hair, saying, “Yeah, that’s me!”

Inside of the scrapbook was a grainy photo of me with shorter hair (and the same-length beard). My picture self stood in front of a battered and burned X-Wing fighter craft, wearing a dingy orange flight suit, and an old helmet was cradled in its arm, while the other gave the camera a thumbs-up.

“Wow! You look so…COOL!” Scootaloo said, recognizing that the X-Wing was obviously built for something involving flight, and speed. “Is that one of those jet things you’ve told us about? Are you its pilot?!”

“Indeed I am!”

“Why does it look all…burnt?” Applebloom asked, taking a closer look at the photo.

“Well, this was actually my fifth world that I had Traveled to.  I was still kinda getting’ used to it,Now, you see-” I stopped myself suddenly, and looked over to my iPod. “Just a second.”

I pressed the buttons on the speaker, and quickly set some music on. Grinning widely, and gesturing at the pictures in the book, I said, “Alright, let me tell you a story…about a battle that happened a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

STAR WARS:

EPISODE IV

A NEW HOPE

(“Why is he playin’ that music?” Applebloom asked.)

("HEY! NOT WHILE I’M FLASHBACKING!")

(“Sorry.”)

Anyways, here we go! After a harrowing escape from the Death Star, a space station the size of a small moon capable of destroying entire planets, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Princess Leia, the droids R2-D2 and C-3PO, and I had reached Yavin IV, where the Rebel’s secret base was located. The evil Empire had already destroyed Princess Leia’s home planet of Alderaan, tricking her into revealing the secret location of the base, and we had very little time until the Death Star reached us.

Han Solo, in true mercenary fashion, had collected his payment for flying us there, and he and Chewie left soon afterwards. As Luke and I had some experience with flying fighter ships (since technically, the Gummy Ship was close enough), we both signed up to do an attack run on the Death Star, and hopefully one of our many fighters would be able to hit the ventilation shaft that would lead to the core, and blow it up.

After being briefed on our mission, and getting assigned to our squadrons, we took off, hoping to intercept the Death Star before it came within firing range of Yavin.

Even now, we were flying our ships there, and I can remember it as if it were yesterday…

If you can read this, you don’t need glasses, or they’re working fine already.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Slowly, methodically almost, I clicked a few switches in my X-Wing, and once again stared out the window at the stars all around me. It struck me odd, that no matter how fast I Traveled, or how much I learned, that I would truly not know about everything that was out there. I was a small speck, in a literally unending ocean. In the years that I had been Traveling, I had only seen barely enough to be counted as a small drop of water.

It was humbling, to say the least.

Still, I couldn’t help but take comfort in the stars that surrounded me. If I were to die out here in a blaze of glory (and hopefully that bit about regenerating on a home world was true), then at least the last thing I would see would be those bright pinpricks of life in the vast darkness around me.

Shaking my head clear of such thoughts, I focused on the line of fighters in front of me. Adjusting my course to meet theirs, I flew in the back of the line, almost as if I had been doing this my entire life.

I don’t know what it is, but even though it may take me ages to learn how to master a vehicle of some sort, if you put me in anything that flies, I’ll have it mastered in ten seconds flat…speaking of which…

Glancing around to make sure that none of the other pilots could see me, I reached into my pocket, and pulled out a sticker with a picture of Rainbow Dash’s cutie-mark on it. Smiling, I peeled it off, and slapped it onto the side of my helmet.

“Twenty percent cooler, right?” I asked myself, chuckling softly. Oh, if the Bronies could see me now. Flying in space, about to go to war, with a Rainbow Dash cutie-mark sticker on my helmet.

Oh yeah, it’s good to be The Traveler…hmm…I better be careful. That might become my catch phrase if I say it too often.

Unfortunately, reality quickly slapped me in the face again, as I heard them start to do the roll call, or whatever it was. No matter where I go, or how I deal with it, war always makes me apprehensive. Sure, in video games or movies, it’s just “pretend”, but for me, I have to deal with it eventually.

This was one of those prime examples. I was terrified of what was about to happen. Would Luke make it? Would we win? Would the Death Star destroy Yavin, and leave us stranded in space?

“Red leader, standing by.”

“Red one, standing by.”

“Red two, standing by.”

“Red eleven, standing by.”

“Red five, standing by,” I heard Luke’s voice say over the speakers.

I hesitated for a few instants, before clicking the transmitter, and stuttering out, “Uh, Blue eight, standing by.”

“DAMN IT OMNIUS!” Red leader’s voice cracked out, while the sounds of nervously laughing pilots filtered in under it.

“What?! I’m kinda new to this!” I shouted back defensively.

“Ugh…lock S-Foils in attack positions!”

We all did so, readying ourselves for the upcoming battle. Before I knew it, though, all chaos broke loose.

The first wave of fighters went to the Death Star, that huge metallic monster, before the turrets destroyed them completely. Others managed to avoid them, only to be targeted by the Empire’s own star ships. While everyone scattered, trying to find their way to the target, I flew straight in, dodging the turrets, and managed to clip the side of one of the enemy ships, causing it to spin out of control, until it was blasted by its own turrets.

Suck it.

You wanna know what was really disconcerting? I couldn’t hear a thing, other than the sounds of my comrades dying on the speakers inside of my helmet, which served to also block out the sounds of the engines.  There was no heroic music, no sounds to warn me if any bogies were on my tail. It made me shake my head grimly. Yeah, sure…Space…where no one can hear you scream.

In a war that takes place in the vast, vacuum-like void of space, that’s the only thing you can hear.

“This is Blue eight, I’m going in!” I shouted, before bringing my ship down into a sort of trench that would lead me to the target. A few lasers shot out in front of me, forcing me to do a barrel roll (I swear, when I meet that rabbit, I’m gonna yell that at him a few times and see how HE likes it!) to dodge it. Bringing the ship down, I slowed down suddenly, causing the Empire’s own fighters to shoot out ahead of me, while I shot a couple of carefully aimed shots of my own at them.

Their ships exploded, and I let out a hoot of triumph.

“Sean…Sean…” I heard a familiar voice in my head, and I started in surprise.

“Obi-Wan?” I asked hesitantly, afraid that I’d finally snapped.

“Never give up…trust your instincts…and use the Force!” his voice whispered.

“…Did you just accidentally quote a video game?” I deadpanned, before my ship shook slightly. I looked down at my radar, and realized that I had a few more enemies on my tail.

“Damn!” I cursed, before pulling my ship out of the trench to avoid getting hit by anymore. My shields were still up, but that didn’t prevent my wings from getting slightly scorched. Mentally berating myself for the lapse in concentration, I kept my ship moving, making unnecessary turns and dips to avoid getting locked on.

Playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse with the Empire’s ships, I attempted to try the same trick that I had used on those earlier ships, but to no avail. They had apparently gotten smarter, and had wizened up to that trick.

It’s a good thing I’ve got plenty more where that came from…because I know some maneuvers!

…Why do I suddenly feel happy that I was able to say that? Meh, I’ll figure it out later.

Right, back to the action. Pushing the fighter as fast as it could go, I quickly jerked on the controls, and pulled it up into a sharp rise, slowly turning until I was positioned right above them, much to their astonishment, and then righted myself once I had flown behind them. Another quick round of shots from my blasters, and they were lost in an explosive blaze.

Sighing in relief, but never dropping my guard, I tapped the sticker on my helmet for good luck, and rejoined the battle as soon as I saw an opening. All around me, and on my speakers, pilots were dying left and right. I tried to prevent as many of them from going down as I could, but it almost seemed hopeless…

Until!

(“Ooh, this is where it gets good, isn’t it?”)

(“Scoots, I’m still flashbacking!”)

(“Oops. Sorry!”)

A wild cry of, “Yeeeeeee-haaaaaaw!” reached my ears from the speakers. I looked to my side, and my eyes widened in amazement as I saw the Millennium Falcon, signature ship of Han Freaking Solo, zoomed in, and took out not one, but three of the enemy fighters! In my excitement, I missed the rest of what he said, but it didn’t matter. We still had a chance!

With renewed energy, I aimed my own fighter back into the fray, and started shooting at anything that tried to shoot at me. Turrets, and enemy pilots alike fell before me, and I took a couple of hits myself, nearly getting fried in the process. My brain was on overdrive, and instead of trying to make sense of the situation, I just let myself go, moving with supernatural rhythm. My actions were controlled by something more than thought, more than basic instinct. Something that was a fundamental aspect of life itself moved through me, keeping me safe. Helping me rain wrath down upon those that would destroy it.

More ships fled suddenly.

Yeah, that’s right bitches, you better run! I’m using the Force!

Finally, after I had taken down another group of fighters, and saved more Rebels, I heard the order to, as I like to say, “RUN LIKE HELL!” All of the rebels, myself included, high-tailed it out of there, narrowly avoiding the massive shockwave and blaze of energy that was the remains of the Death Star.

“YEAH!” I shouted in triumph, laughing maniacally. “Oh, it is GOOD TO BE THE TRAVELER!”

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

“And then, after all that, I got commemorated with Luke, Han, and Chewie for our efforts in the battle,” I said, turning a page to reveal the four of us, plus Leia and the droids, standing in front of a ceremonious room. I was smiling widely, leaning on R2 with my elbow, a wild glimmer in my eye.

“Woooooowwww,” All three fillies said at the same time.

“I know. I even still have that old medal lying around here somewhere…remind me to show it to you girls,” I chortled.

“What’s that?” Sweetie suddenly asked, noticing a loose piece of paper underneath the current page. Before I could voice any protests, she flipped the page, revealing a long list of names and numbers.

“Omnius?” Scootaloo hesitantly said, poking at the paper with a hoof. “Who are those?”

I sighed heavily, and for one of those rare instances, felt incredibly old. Wiping at my face with my hand, I said, “Those are the names of everyone who died in the battle.”

“Everyone…?” Applebloom quietly repeated, looking at me with her innocent eyes.

“Everyone. I even managed to find the names of the Empire’s men who died. The one’s with red dots by them are the ones that I took out personally…” I felt tears stream down my face, as I gazed at the list. “It’s funny. Everyone says that they would love to go to worlds like these, thinking that they would do a great job there. Maybe some of them are right. But I wonder if they could truly deal with the guilt of taking lives. I still have nightmares about all the people I’ve killed, or had a hand in ending. Did I do the right thing?”

The three fillies looked at one another at the same time, before they wrapped their hooves around me in a hug. Surprised, I watched them, before slowly returning their hug.

Not even the bards could come up with the words and feelings put into that hug. And if they couldn’t, then you know that I definitely couldn’t as well.

“Thanks girls,” I said, clutching them close to me. I happened to glance out the window, and I smiled widely. “Say…I think I still have that old jalopy of an X-Wing in the Vault…wanna take it for a spin with me?”

The three fillies gasped, and dashed outside, knowing that I wouldn’t let them into the Vault.

Smart girls.

Smarter than they know, they are.

Hm-hm-hm…

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Crusader one, standin’ bah!”

“Crusader two, standing by!”

“Awesome Crusader three, standing by!”

“Crusader’s Chaperone, standing by!”

With a loud, rumbling sound, the engines roared to life, and I pressed the ignition switch. Laughing in delight, we all flew into the sky, the forest flying by beneath us.

“Okay girls, say it with me!” I shouted over the engines. “One…two…THREE!”

“MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!”

A Newer Hope

Chapter 20:

A Newer Hope

(Takes place during, "The Return of Harmony")

The warm sunlight of Celestia’s beautiful sun gently bathed the city of Canterlot in its soft glow, providing light for the ponies of Equestria.

To most ponies, this was an ordinary day. They would get up, prepare themselves, and go off to do whatever it was they did for a living.  The streets were bustling with busy ponies going about their business. Wealthy socialites chatted in tea shops, artists roamed the city trying to find inspiration…

And nopony noticed the sky blue unicorn stealthily weave her way through the crowds of ponies. She wore a modest looking grey cloak, something unusual for this type of weather, but she didn’t seem to mind. Her spring green mane was tied back in a simple braid, hidden within the confines of her hood. Silently, she ignored the temptation to go into one of the bakeries that lined the street and continued on her mission.

In almost no time at all, she had managed to make her way to the castle without being noticed by any being. Without a word, she let herself be swept up in a large group of ponies that were heading inside, never once being stopped by any of the guards.

For a time, she followed them through the castle. The pony in front was dressed in a sort of tour guide’s uniform, and she went on and on about the more ancient and unused parts of the castle that they were going to be viewing today. The pony’s ears pricked when she heard the tour guide mention that they weren’t going to be going to the garden today. Apparently, a school teacher had reserved that bit for her and her class.

The sky blue pony nodded at that, and snuck into an adjacent hallway. Eventually, she saw the group of children wandering around, being led by a purple pony with a pinkish mane.

“Perfect…” she whispered to herself, as she closed her eyes. She called forth her own unique magic, allowing it to easily slide throughout her entire being. In the blink of an eye, she had shrunk herself down to the size and build of a filly.

No one would notice a stray filly tagging along with a group of children (or, at least following them). They would just think that she was struggling to catch up to the class.

Within minutes, they had reached the garden. While the teacher tried to explain some of the statues to the children, some of them arguing over what they really were, the strange pony crept behind a large statue of a strange looking creature.

The statue itself seemed to be a patchwork creature made of the limbs of other monsters. It had an eagle’s talon for one hand, and a massive lion’s paw for the other. His legs were what appeared to be a buffalo’s hind leg, and a dragon’s claw, while his tail reminded the pony of a Chinese dragon. A Pegasus wing and a bat wing adorned the statue’s back, and its face…

Nothing needed to be said about its face.

Neutra, the Forever Traveler of Neutrality, hid behind the statue, and started chanting underneath her breath. She extended her senses towards the statue, and wasn’t surprised to see how much magic had been put into it.

Thankfully, its strength was fading. Soon, the statue would be freed.

“No, not a statue…Discord…”

With that, she began to strip the layers of magic surrounding Discord’s binding spell away.

A small crack appeared.

XHXHXHXHXHX

“Alright you, evil, foul, ancient archenemy of mine!” I shouted, strapping several pouches to my belt. “It is now once again time for us to do battle. And this time, I shall be the victorious one!”

Slim patted me on the back and lifted his weapon of choice up into the air, letting loose a soundless battle cry.

“THAT’S THE SPIRIT SLIM!” I roared. I hefted my feather duster into the air and shouted, “THIS TIME, WE SHALL CLEAN THE CHAOS SECTION OF THE VAULT!”

Slim shook his mop violently in agreement, no expression on his metal face. Together, we clapped our cleaning instruments together, and charged into the mess that was the chaos section. The moment we hit the shelves, my spidey-senses told me stuff was about to go-

“SLIM, LOOK OUT!”

A giant purple tentacle reached out of a large toxic waste tank. Slim tried to beat it off with his mop but to no avail. The tentacle started pulling him back into its radioactive domain.

“SLIM!” I shouted from the confines of my HEV suit. Dashing forward, I grabbed his arm, screaming, “Damn it, Slim, don’t you get torn apart on me again!”

We both tugged against the force of the tentacle, straining with both our combined might. Finally, with a last pull, Slim was torn free. The tentacle slid back into its container, defeated, leaving me and Slim to gather our wits.

“I hate cleaning the vault,” I panted. Slim nodded at me, tapping his mop against the container in victory.

Every ten years, Slim and I had made it a point to at least attempt to clean/organize the section of the Vault that was devoted to all things that broke the conventional laws of reality or was just an embodiment of all things that didn’t make sense.

Before you ask, yes, there IS a lot of ACME stuff in here.

Alongside that though, I also had a ton of other memorabilia from my Travels tucked away in here. My old clown suit from my days as a Rodeo Clown, a magic 9 ball, and various other mementos dotted the shelves, sending wave after wave of memory at me.

While I may not act like it or even look like it; there’s no point denying that I’m extremely old. If it weren’t for my friends or the constant change, then I’d probably be nothing more than a wizened old geezer living in a hut out in the woods, while drinking moonshine and toting a boomstick with me everywhere I go. Instead, I’m a dude who looks seventeen, lives in a badass house out in the clearing NEXT to the woods, while drinking coke and carrying a revolver everywhere I go.

See? Differences.

Wait, I got distracted again. What’s happening?

I looked around to see that I had somehow wandered into the center of the whole mess. All around me, bits and bobbles of random items popped in and out of existence, never really disappearing, but giving off the illusion of it at least.

For some strange reason, a giant floating baby head just flew by me.

“Whose idea was that in the first place?” I muttered to myself. “That’s just creepy.”

Steeling my nerves, I took a cautious step forward, my trusty feather duster gripped tightly in my hand. Ever so carefully, I started to lightly go over the stuff on the shelf. One wrong twitch and I might end up looking “prettier” than I’d be comfortable with.

You never know in this part of the Vault.

After a couple of hours, I had managed to get most of it cleaned, but now I was distracted by a simple wooden mask that sat in front of me.

“Hey, I remember this old thing,” I cried, wiping the dust off of it. “It’s The Mask!”

I sat down on the floor, and gently ran a finger over it.

“Man, the memories behind this…say, I wonder if I can still do that trick…”

I gripped it tightly in both hands, and snapped the mask in two.

“HA! It still works. Okay then, here goes…”

I placed the left half of the mask over my face and felt myself spin in a whirling green tornado. Lightning coursed through my veins, and a moment later my entire left half was wearing a yellow suit, clashing horribly with my dark orange HEV suit.

“Ssssssomebody STOP ME!” The half of my face wearing the Mask shouted.

“Hey Mask,” I muttered.

“Kid! Why’d you have to go and break me like that?” The Mask whined, wiping a mock tear away from his face.

“Ah, shaddap you old Halloween decoration,” I said, chuckling. “I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

“Oh, you know. After you trapped Ipkiss’ wild side, yours truly, in this little green mask, I’ve just been whiling away the hours, waiting for you to let me loose again. OH! Do I finally get to have some fun now?”

I shook my…our…his…screw it, I told him no.

“But WWWWHHHHYYYYYYY!?”

“Because there hasn’t been anything chaotic enough to warrant something like that. Besides, I’m still a little angry about you trying to use Pinkie Pie to smash my face with a hammer,” I grumbled.

He laughed nervously, and said, “Hey, come on now, you know that was just a joke! PLEASE LEMME OUTTA THIS CAVE! I WANNA DANCE, SING, AND PONTIFICATE AGAIN! COME ON! I can just FEEL the chaos in the air!”

I rolled my eyes, and removed the Mask from my face. Something about that last line didn't sit well with me.

“I’ll do that when pigs fly,” I muttered, placing both halves of The Mask back together. “For now, you’ll just-”

“Sir, life-form detected at the door,” Ivy suddenly said, speaking over the intercoms.

“Oh, great. Alright, gimme a second.”

I took off the HEV suit, revealing my normal clothes underneath it, and booked it back up to the main floor. Once I got there, I realized I had accidentally taken The Mask with me, much to my surprise. Not wanting to carry that thing around all day, I tossed it onto the mantle of the fireplace and dashed outside.

XHXHXHXHXHX

“…I totally called it. One of my first sentences spoken on this world and I freakin’ called it.”

Currently, I was standing in the rain in Earth Pony form and watching my friends try to organize the animals.

Not just any rain though…

“CHOCOLATE RAAAAIIIIN~!” I sang in joy, jumping around in the puddles with Pinkie Pie. “SOME STAY DRY, WHILE THE REST GOES DOWN THE DRAIN! CHOCOLATE RAAAAIIIIN~!”

Pinkie and I both held our heads up to the cotton candy clouds that were dumping vast amounts of chocolate milk- YES I SAID THAT RIGHT –onto the ground below, and I was enjoying every minute of it.

Then my conscience told me that I wasn’t allowed to enjoy it because it was messing up the animals, ruining Applejack’s crops, and making the ecosystem all…chaotic.

Damn it, it’s hard being on the good side.

I sighed and walked out of the rain, shaking my coat dry.

“Why does all the fun stuff have to be illegal, immoral, or fattening?” I lamented jokingly to Twilight.

“Not now, Omnius. We need to figure out what’s causing all of this weird stuff to keep on happening!” she growled, scanning the skies. “The failsafe spell failed and we need a backup plan to clear the rest of it.”

“Don’t worry,” I reassured her. “I’m Omnius! I’ve always got a backup plan! Now, let’s see…” I scratched my beard thoughtfully for a moment, before nodding. “Alright, let me try something.”

A bit of focus let me shift into my unicorn form. I grinned, and lifted my head to stare at the cotton candy clouds. My horn started to give off blue sparks, as I gathered my magical strength.

“Omnius, what are you doing?” asked Twilight in a worried tone.

“My backup plan!”

A dark blue beam of light shot out of the tip of my horn, and struck one of the masses of cotton candy dead center. The instant it connected, I smiled widely, and said, “See? Now watch me work my ma-”

The cloud exploded into a giant orb of orange liquid.

“Ah biscuits.”

All of it came pouring down on top of me and Twilight, soaking our fur. I tasted some of it experimentally and muttered, “Orange juice? What the deuce?”

Twilight groaned, and half-growled, “That didn’t help at all.”

“No, no it didn’t. Here, I’ll just flash-dry us,” I chirped, cheerfully pointing at my horn.

“NO!” she shouted fearfully. She then chuckled nervously and said, “Uh, I mean, no, that’s okay! Just go get us some towels!”

“Alright, be back in a flash!”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

After I had gotten us some towels, I rushed back to where everypony had been just moments before...and was shocked to see that my friends had vanished. All of the disfigured animals were chowing down on the cotton candy clouds that had been brought to ground level, but that didn’t explain where they had all run off to.

Well, maybe the paper tacked to one of the trees held some answers.

“Dear Omnius,” I read out loud. “Princess Celestia needed to see all of us as soon as possible, so we went to Canterlot because you were taking too long. Please catch up to us, her letter sounded extremely urgent. Sorry for leaving you behind, but we thought your Auras would let you catch up to us in no time. Sincerely, Twilight Sparkle.”

…They just left me here?!

“THE NERVE OF THEM!” I shouted, stomping my hoof in overdramatic anger. “Why, to think that they’d just leave the guy who’s had HUNDREDS OF YEARS OF EXPERIENCE IN DEALING WITH THIS behind!”

An angry snort later, I had summoned my Speed Aura, transformed into a Pegasus, and launched into the sky, still ranting about how I was left behind. In all honesty, I wasn’t mad about it. Just annoyed that now I had to fly there myself, instead of in a chariot.

You know what? I’m gonna see if I can beat them there! That’ll show them, teach them not to leave the freaking ETERNAL TRAVELER OF GOOD WHO DEALS WITH THIS SHIT ALL THE TIME behind!

With that, I rapidly flapped my wings, flying fast enough to bend the trees from the sheer speed of it.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

Five minutes later, and I had made it to the Castle at the exact same time as the girls. Alright, so maybe there’s something to those Royal Guard chariots. Either way, I decided not to explode on them (mostly because of Fluttershy’s apology). There was a crisis going on, and me being a prissy little drama Traveler wasn’t gonna help things at all.

I kicked open the door to the throne room and let the girls run ahead of me.

“Princess Celestia!” she shouted as she ran in. “We came as fast as we could.”

“Thank you, Twilight,” she said in a voice filled with fear and tension. She looked at the rest of us and added, “Thank you all.”

“Is this about the weather and the animals’ weird behavior?” Twilight asked, instantly cutting to the chase. “What’s happening out there? Why isn’t my magic working? Is there—“

“Enough,” I interrupted. “Let the Princess speak.”

Maybe it was rude, but I didn’t want us to sit around playing twenty questions. If the Sun Princess had called us down here, she had a good reason and possibly an answer.

Celestia nodded, choosing to ignore my outburst. “Follow me,” she commanded.

The Princess led us down a long hallway filled with multiple stained glass windows on either side. Some of the figures in the window I recognized, such as Starswirl the Bearded and younger versions of the two Princesses. One figure in particular caught my eye: a strange patchwork creature that was shining on the floor. If I didn’t know any better, I would have called it some sort of Chimera. I had a feeling Celestia had other answers in store, however.

“I’ve called you here for a matter of great importance,” she started, skipping the formalities. “It seems an old foe of mine, someone I thought I had defeated long ago, has returned. His name…is Discord.”

I glanced at the image once more, a feeling of unease creeping into my bones.

“Discord is the mischievous spirit of disharmony. Before my sister and I stood up to him, he ruled Equestria in an eternal state of unrest and unhappiness.”

Here, she stopped to point out a window depicting three ponies, a Pegasus, Unicorn, and Earth pony, being manipulated by the creature. He held three marionette control crossbars in his hands, and he had a wicked smile on his face. I instinctively frowned at the image.

“Luna and I saw how miserable life was for Earth ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns alike. So after discovering the Elements of Harmony…” she gestured to the next image, a portrait of her and Luna imprisoning Discord within stone. “…we combined our powers and rose up against him, turning him to stone.

“All right, Princess!” Dash cheered.

“Good on ya,” I quietly muttered. “But I have a feeling there’s more to this story.”

Celestia nodded grimly. “Indeed. I thought the spell we cast would keep him contained forever. But since Luna and I are no longer connected to the Elements…”

She took a steadying breath.

“The spell has been broken.”

…Well shite. That explains everything. All of the weird magic, the food related weather, the fact that The Mask actually felt more active…

Hmm…No, I’m not that desperate yet. Besides, if I’m right, the Elements are the key to this problem. Thankfully, I hadn’t taken the Element of Hope off of my neck ever since I had accidentally created it, and it was currently hidden on my human self’s outfit.

Yeah. Hide it on my human form. If you’ve noticed, I don’t wear the same get-up in pony form, so it’s the perfect hidey-hole for it.

While I was going over all of this in my head, I felt Dash smack me back into attentiveness. I was brought back just in time to hear Twilight say, “Princess Celestia, you can count on–”

“Hold on a second!” Pinkie interrupted. “Eternal Chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys! CHOCOLATE RAIN!”

“…You know, she makes a good point,” I admitted. “Free chocolate.”

Rarity then grinned slyly and said, “Yes, but that means that nopony will want to put their time into creating soda.”

“…Rarity is right; we must restore peace and harmony to the land!” I shouted. “Well, don’t just stand there! Get these girls their shiny weapons of mass friendship!”

Celestia rolled her eyes good-naturedly and inserted her horn into a pair of doors that I hadn’t noticed in my earlier deductive process. Hell, I was only just realizing we had moved to an almost entirely different room.

Wait, I’m getting distracted again. FOCUS!

A burst of magic from Celestia’s horn sent a system of unseen gears and locks into motion, unlocking the heavy marble doors. A torrent of blinding sunlight flowed out of the small crack in the doors, making me lift a hoof up to shield my eyes.

I blinked away the spots in my eyes, as the sound of Rarity gushing over the box containing the Elements reached my ears.

“No box for you, we’ve got ass to kick,” I cackled.

“Have no fear, ponies. I have total confidence that you will be able to defeat Discord…” she opened the box, a confident and calm smile on her face. “…With these!”

The box was completely empty.

All of us gasped in shock.

Pinkie just shrugged and said, “Oh, well. If anyone needs me, I’ll be outside in the chocolate puddles with a giant swizzle straw!”

“Get back in here,” I chided while Twilight and Celestia puzzled over the disappearance of the Elements, chomping down on her tail and pulling her back into the room.

“Oh, I never get to have any fun!” she pouted.

Before I could answer, I heard a malicious laughter fill the room.

“Did you miss me Celestia?” a new voice asked from seemingly out of nowhere. “Oh, wait, hold on. Let me take care of something!”

A dark hole opened up underneath me and I fell into it.

“OMNIUS!” I heard Twilight shout before the hole closed, cutting off the light.

“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” I shouted as I fell through the air.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

“Wha…where am I?” I groaned, picking myself up off the grass. I ran a hand through my hair, feeling for my bandana-

Hold on, my hand? What happened to my hoof?! My awesome, physics-defying hoof?! Wow, is that different from what I said in the beginning.

“Good afternoon, Omnius,” I heard an all-too familiar voice greet me.

“Neutra?” I asked in disbelief, finally seeing that I was standing in a section of the hedge maze that took up the majority of the gardens of Canterlot. “What’s going on?”

The dark-skinned woman lowered her hood, revealing her trademark almond-shaped eyes and stoic expression. “I am sorry to meet you on such terms, my friend,” she apologized.

“What do you mean?” my hand instinctively clenched into a fist and summoned my blade.

She sighed, and waved her hand casually. Three chairs materialized out of nowhere, along with a table decorated with an elaborate tea set.

“Please, calm down and have a seat,” she offered, pouring a cup of scalding hot liquid into a cup. “My master shall be arriving soon.”

“Master?” That got me. She never called anyone her master…except…no, it can’t be.

“Yes, master! Isn’t it wonderful?”

With an enormous crack of thunder, the actual creature, the one seen in the stained glass windows, appeared before me.

“Hello there! My name is Discord and your name isn’t important right now,” he cackled. With an exaggerated flourish, he took the seat across from me. A snap of his fingers sent the tea pot to his mouth, where he causally bit into it like a cookie.

“Pleasure,” I muttered.

“Oh, don’t be such a spoil-sport!” he chided. “That’s why I’m not letting you help your friends, after all! You’d be nothing more than a stick in the mud.”

“WHAT?!” I roared, standing up in anger.

Neutra held out a placating hand and gently used her magic to force me back into my seat. “Perhaps it would be best if we offered an explanation,” she suggested.

“You’re quite right, my beloved Traveler!” Discord cooed, finishing the rest of his teapot. He threw the liquid behind him, where it dissolved the hedge in a hiss of acid. “See, when the magic around my prison started to weaken, I was able to finally reach out to my loyal servant, Neutra. A fun little conversation later and she had freed me! Now, I can restore the balance of the world and bring some chaos into the mix. Won’t that be exciting?”

He cackled madly, clapping his hands together in childish glee.

“And who’s to say I won’t interfere and stop you?” I challenged.

“I am.”

Both of us turned to look at Neutra, who was glaring coldly at me.

“The balance of this area was off by too much. There wasn’t enough chaos to rightly counter the vast amounts of love and harmony, meaning that things would have spiraled out of control, had I not stepped in. Now, I am forced to prevent you from interfering at all.” Her eyes hardened, and her voice rose a little in anger. “You will not be able to fight me, and my God, at the same time. Nothing you can say will convince me to let you go out there and assist your friends in resealing Discord…”

Discord cleared his throat and stood up, gesturing for her to sit down.

“Unless…we make things difficult,” The God of Neutrality stated. He got up and paced around the table. “You see, I know that if I am allowed to be freed for too long, my natural chaotic nature will upset the balance if left unchecked, and we cannot afford to use Disciples of The Scales to monitor every force of chaos on this world. Oh no, that is MY job, thank you very much. Therefore, I’ve already set about creating chaos…and the balance is nearly restored.

“Nearly. So, what I propose is this: for the duration of my freedom, I will allow you to help your ‘friends’…” he gripped my shoulder tightly, causing me to wince instinctively. “But only if you agree to not use any of your powers.”

I looked at him incredulously. “You can’t be serious,” I said in disbelief.

“Oh, I am very serious. You can either sit on the sidelines and enjoy a bag of popcorn with me as the chaos unfolds, or you can join your friends and try to protect them from my mayhem during my Ponyville run. If you break your promise, I'll force you to leave this world and let me cause some more chaos. Before I forget, let me remind you of something!” He reached his talon down my shirt and pulled my Element of Hope out.

“Don’t touch that,” I commanded, snatching it away from him.

“Well excuuuuuuuuuuse, me!” he mocked. “But they need ALL of the Elements to seal me away again. Even now, they’re struggling to get through my maze and find their Elements…though I imagine they’re in terrible danger,” he yawned.

…Doesn’t look like I have much of a choice now, does it?

“Alright, fine,” I relented, hanging my head. “I won’t use any of my powers…but you better keep your promise.”

He laughed triumphantly, and said, “Oh, don’t worry! I will! And just to let you know, your friends left my hedge maze hours ago! In fact, we were never there!”

His fingers snapped again, and the scenery fell away to reveal that we were dining in the center of Ponyville…only it looked much more chaotic. Night and day switched rapidly, while buffalo danced around in a Fantasia-esque ballet. Ponies everywhere were acting out of character, and everything was breaking every law of physics known to Pony kind. That, and we were hanging upside down.

“One more thing! YOU GET TO WATCH THIS FIASCO FIRST, PONY-BOY! And don't forget, if you use your powers, you'll have to do nothing but waaaaaatch~!” Discord shouted, before he dropkicked me into another building right as the rest of the girls showed up.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

One failed attempt at sealing Discord later, and the girls...I can’t believe I’m saying this, but they had split up. Each of them looking violently angry at each other, and Rainbow Dash wasn’t even there. I couldn’t do anything, trapped inside of the building.

As soon as they had left, the door opened and I was allowed to run over to Twilight.

“Twilight!” I shouted, sliding over to her and wrapping my arms around her in a tight embrace. “What happened, where are the rest of our friends?”

“I DON’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS!” she cried, her face scrunched in a mixture of hate and sorrow. “They’re not my friends any more…and where were you?!”

I quickly explained to her everything about Neutra, Discord, and the deal they had tricked me into making.

“So now our last hope doesn’t have any power?” Twilight half-cried. “Then we’re doomed! The Elements of Harmony failed, and…our friendship failed…I failed everypony…”

“Twilight, don’t say that,” I tried to comfort her.

“With friends like them, who needs enemies?”

And then, she did something that pushed me over the edge. Something that forced me to get angry, and stop thinking like a Traveler, and start thinking like a man who was out of options.

A single tear slid down her face and splashed onto the ground, forming a small puddle in the shape of a broken heart.

That’s it. I may not be allowed to use my powers. I may not be allowed to summon backup.

But he didn’t say I wasn’t allowed to use the power of something else entirely.

“Omnius, buy her some time. I will help her remember what her heart already knows,” I heard Celestia say inside of my head. “You know what to do.”

She’s right…unfortunately, I do know what I have to do.

“Listen to me, Twi,” I said, holding her face in my hands. “I’m gonna fix this. I’ll buy us some time. I need you to get the others back to normal and help me seal Discord back in his prison.”

“Why? What’s the point…besides, what can you do anyways? What have you got that can possibly help us?” she said dejectedly.

“I’ve got a backup plan.”

Not even waiting for an answer, I ran as fast as I could towards my house, where it held the one thing that could help me turn the tides.

Now then, it’s time I did something that no one would ever do unless they were out of options.

And this definitely qualified.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

I hauled myself into my living room. Note to self, running at full speed while on soapy roads is never a good idea.

“There you are,” I whispered, reaching for something on my mantle. “I know you can hear me in there, so I want you to listen and listen good. You’re going to help me beat Discord and buy some time for my friends to get themselves back together. In return, I’m giving you full control and letting you do whatever it takes to beat this bastard.”

The object in my hand pulsed in agreement.

“Just remember who gets the final say,” I reminded it.

It pulsed one more time.

“Alright…look out Equestria.”

I slowly lifted the item of mass power, the item responsible for putting so many villains behind bars or in a cushioned room…and placed it on my face.

The Mask instantly grappled with my head, merging its power with my body, forcing me to spin in a blazing green and yellow tornado. Loud, manic laughter filled the air, while my clothes morphed to fit The Mask’s preferences.

“Ssssssssssssssomebody STOP ME!”

The Mask Strikes Back

Chapter 21

The Mask Strikes Back

(Takes place during “The Return of Harmony”)

Discord yawned loudly and propped his feet up on top of a mound of cotton candy. A victorious smile took up his equine face. He had tricked Rainbow Dash into forfeiting the game he had set up for the Elements, corrupted almost the entire populace of Ponyville, and, to top it all off, had tricked The Traveler of Good into vowing not to use his powers against him.

“Oh, it’s such fun to use the good guys’ morals against them!” he chortled. “Now there’s nothing that can stop me from turning the rest of Equestria into my own personal playground! Who knows? I might jus-”

A loud, warbling screech filled the air, shattering the coconut Discord was just drinking from.

“What the deuce?!” he asked in surprise, lowering his sunglasses. “What is this? I didn’t authorize this chaos!”

Before he could go on, there was a blinding flash of light that filled the area for miles around. Out of nowhere, a cheap pay phone, similar to the ones you can find in cities, materialized in front of him. It was covered in chipped green paint with an orange base supporting it.

The phone started to ring.

Curious, Discord snuck up to the phone and slapped his fist onto it, flipping the phone up to his ear. “Hello?” he asked, pulling a nail file out and going over his lion’s paw with it.

“HI! Is this the Dagobah system?” the voice on the other end of the phone chirped out. “Can you put master Yoda on?”

“Sorry, wrong number,” Discord answered.

The phone started to vibrate wildly in Discord’s hand, forcing him to let go of it as a green orb started to force its way out of the receiver. No, not an orb…a head?

In almost no time at all, an entire body had managed to slink out of the phone. What came out wasn’t what the draconequus was expecting.

For one, it was human. Tall and slender, it would have looked like an ordinary person…had it not been for the tweed suit it was wearing and the fact that it had an impossibly large smile on its lime green head.

“Ah, jolly good show then!” it cried, dusting off the sleeves of its coat. “I say, I didn’t expect to be brought here!”

Absently, it reached into a pocket and pulled out a plastic bag filled with something that reminded Discord of gummy bears.

“Who are you?” he asked, eying the human warily. “You’re not Omnius, are you?”

“Me? OH NO! I’m only borrowing his body for a moment! Would you care for a jelly baby?” He held the bag out to Discord, who swatted it out of his hands with an oversized flyswatter.  The green-faced human harrumphed indignantly and said, “Old bean, that was incredibly rude! I’m afraid I’ll have to use my sonic monkey wrench on you now.”

“Your sonic what?”

The lime-faced man reached into another pocket, and dug around furiously. “Now I know it’s here somewhere…AHA!” Triumphantly, he pulled out a sleek silver wrench that had two laser pointers glued to the top of it. At Discord’s confused expression, he gripped the instrument tightly in his hands and swung it over his head.

“Allons-y!” he shouted, before swinging it like a golf club…right into fork of Discord’s legs.

The draconequus bent over in pain, before snapping his fingers. A catapult appeared underneath the human and launched him into the sky.

“There, that ought to keep that twat busy,” he squeaked, putting a cold glass of chocolate milk onto the sore spot. “Ooooohhhh, that’s the ticket. Still, I wonder who that was. He said he had Omnius’ body, but he never went into detail. Meh, another mystery I suppose.”

“Indeed,” the human said, aiming a tanning mirror at his own face. “Be a dear and pass the coconut?”

“Sure.”

Discord handed the human sitting next to him a coconut with a straw and umbrella in it and went back to putting cold glasses of milk on the sore spot. After he had reached an upside-down pyramid that was ten glasses high, his eyes widened in realization.

“Wait a moment! You’re back!” he shouted, grabbing the human’s throat. His suit had changed now, morphing into an odd yellow suit of some sort. He wore an orange and black polka-dotted tie, with an oversized yellow hat adorned with a white feather on his head. “Blast it, TELL ME WHO YOU ARE!”

The Mask grinned wickedly and said, “Well of course I’ll tell you, since you asked so nicely!”

A drumbeat filled the air, as The Mask spun about wildly, throwing off Discord’s arm in the process.

“I…gots ‘em with my winning smile,

I’m a living lesson in flair and style!

You just can’t help but stare at my soivoir-faire!”

He shoved a bunch of cigars into Discord’s mouth and lit them all up with an oversized lighter. Almost instantly, they exploded in his face, prompting the Mask to laugh wildly. Snarling in anger, Discord lunged at The Mask, who spun gracefully out of his way.

With a snap of his fingers, Discord had summoned a giant mallet and was attempting to flatten his foe. All the while, The Mask kept on singing.

“I'm nouveau, Deco, Roman-Greco, Rococo, Barroco, be-bop, uh, hip-hop, and flip-flop!” He paused for a moment to take a deep breath and half-laughed, “SSSOMEBODY STOP ME!”

“If you’d stop moving, I WOULD!” Discord shouted.

“Pretty viridian faces like mine~

Don’t come a dime a dozen,

I stand out in a crowd!”

He grabbed Discord in a romantic fireman’s carry, and swung him around a bit.

“Babe when they made me, yeah they broke the mold!”

Discord and The Mask leaned towards each other passionately…before Discord got tossed away unceremoniously. The Mask quickly changed his suit to that of a preacher’s and bowed to the audience.

“Wholesome and kind,

Staid and refined.”

His eyes bugged out of his head spontaneously and a wide goofball grin appeared.

“TOTALLY OUT OF MY MIND!”

The preacher’s outfit ripped open to reveal the normal yellow suit. Still wearing that manic grin, he grabbed a microphone, and jumped on top of a building, still screeching his lungs out.

“Arch-villains and ne'er-do-wells,

had better learn to decorate prison cells!

Green goes with anything if they ask, see!”

By now, a crowd of ponies, some corrupted some normal, had gathered to watch the spectacle that was The Mask.

“Well there’s one last thing I gotta sing about!

Open and wide and REALLY SHOUT!

OOOOOOooooohhhh, LOOK OUT!”

He jumped off of the building, and into Discord’s arms.

“THIS IS THE MAAAAAAAAASSSSSSK!”

All of the ponies started to clap wildly for the Mask. Even the buffalo stopped their dancing for a moment to politely applaud for the performance.

Discord himself sniffed dramatically, deciding to go along with it. After all, he was getting rather bored of simply taunting the ponies. Here, he had a real challenge. He even forgot about those others, who could probably stop him if they were returned to normal.

“That was beautiful, my green-faced enemy,” Discord cried, burying his face into The Mask’s shoulders. “I’m almost inspired to go straight! I could clean up pet shelters, donate your liver to cancer research, or kick a smurf!”

“There there, Dissy-poo!” The Mask said sympathetically. “We can still have our chaos based battle to the finish if you want.”

“Really? You mean it?” Discord asked, giving The Mask huge puppy-dog eyes. When he nodded, Discord dropped him onto the ground and clapped his hands together excitedly. “OH YIPPEE! Let’s start round one with something good then, shall we?”

He snapped his fingers and suddenly the two of them were inside of a wrestling ring, the crowd still watching them eagerly. Discord strapped on a set of heavy red boxing gloves and gave a couple of experimental jabs.

“Float like a Pegasus, sting like a Manticore!” he chanted to himself, doing a quick two-step. “Come on, come on! What’choo got against me, huh? NOTHING!”

The Mask spun about once more in his signature tornado, using its magic to morph his clothes into something else entirely. When he finished spinning, he was now wearing a pair of tight fitting black pants, with a sleeveless red shirt hugging his now bulging muscles. A bright yellow wrestling mask with green glitter on it adorned his face. He let out a loud, piercing “AYE-AYE-AYE!”

A large Earth Pony ran into the center of the ring and shouted out over the noise of the crowd, “Lucharaaaaan a dos de tres caidas~!”

He quickly high-tailed it out of there as the two combatants started circling each other slowly.

Discord made the first move, going for a swift uppercut to the chin. The Mask took it in stride and grabbed his opponent’s arm, flipping him over onto the mat. Before Discord could pick himself back up, The Mask climbed the ropes and then jumped off of them, aiming his elbow at the chaotic deity’s gut.

Discord saw it coming from a mile away, and he quickly rolled out of the way, barely avoiding the blow. He jumped up and started pummeling the Mask rapidly, shouting, “Atatatatata!” while he did so.

The Mask grunted in pain, feeling his bones come close to breaking. He let himself get pushed back to the ropes, where he stretched them out to impossible lengths. When the ropes refused to stretch any further, he had almost reached the edge of Ponyville itself.

Discord gulped as he realized what was about to happen.

With an insane cry of, “PULVERISING PINBALL!” The Mask let go of the ropes, curling up into a tight ball as he did so. He shot forward with the force of a bullet, straight at Discord’s face. The draconequus yelped in surprise as he ducked his head. The Mask shot over him, missing entirely, and causing Discord to howl with laughter.

“Ha! You missed!”

Then The Mask ricocheted off of Sugarcube Corner and came hurtling back at the unaware target.

WHAM!

He slammed into the back of Discord’s head and kept on bouncing off of walls and the poor unfortunate God of Neutrality multiple times. Snarling in anger, Discord finally conjured up a ping-pong paddle and smacked The Mask away from him.

“Fiend!” The Mask cried out in a Spanish accent. “Feel the wrath of El Maskadore! I will defeat you for HONOR!”

He jumped into the air and wrapped his arms around Discord’s neck.

“FAMILY!”

With a mighty heave, he flung the villain into the air.

“TRADITION!”

His powerful legs let him fly up into the air, just about even with his foe’s body. He grappled with Discord, spinning him faster and faster in mid-air, before letting go.

“AND DOUGHNUTS!”

The Deity of Disharmony sailed through the air at the speed of sound and then CRASHED into the ring, leaving a draconequus shaped hole in the ground.

The Mask landed on top with a cocky smirk on his face. One small tussle later and he had him pinned underneath his massive muscles. The same pony that started the match jumped back into the ring and slammed his hoof on the ground.

“Uno! Dos! Tres!”

The pony lifted the Masked Mask’s arm into the air and shouted, “Los Luchadore de Mask!”

The audience went ballistic with hearty roars of approval and cheer, screaming their lungs out for the strange creature that had just beaten the tar out of Discord.

Discord feebly lifted an eagle’s talon of a hand out of the hole he had landed in and wheezed out, “Best two out of three!”

“Eh, why not?” The Mask shrugged, pulling the flattened patchwork monster out of the ground. Noticing that he was still comically flattened into a pancake, The Mask pulled a bicycle pump out of his now-returned pocket and inserted it into Discord’s mouth.

Discord gave him a 2D thumbs up for approval.

Furiously, he began to pump air back into him, restoring his 3D appearance bit by bit, until he was full to bursting.

“What’s that? You want MORE?” The Mask questioned, holding a hand up to his ear. “Well, OKAY THEN!”

He kept pumping air into Discord, turning him into a living balloon. Discord finally spat out the tube in anger.

“You shouldn’t have done that~!”

The air rushed out of Discord’s body, spinning him around through the air at speeds that would make even Rainbow Dash envious. Finally, he slammed into a weather vane that halted his unwanted joyride.

“I’m okay…but that’s not important! ROUND TWO!” Discord yelled, snapping his fingers once more.

A small puff of smoke later and they were on top of the town hall, standing on an extended balcony.  Fog and steam billowed all around them, sending strange shadows onto the ground. The balcony had metal bits of railing surrounding them that looked surprisingly normal when compared to the rest of the town.

For his part, Discord had elected to drape himself with a long, flowing black cape that rested on his shoulders. A black plastic bucket had been placed over his horns, and a long red balloon was clutched in his hand.

The Mask spun about, changing his own outfit into a simple suit of dark colored cloth. He extended his hand, and a green balloon sped into it.

“Join me, Mask. And together, we can rule Equestria!” Discord breathed out in a deep voice.

“Never!” The Mask heroically cried, taking up a battle-stance. “I’ll have you know that my pretend-Father was an undefeatable Jedi!”

“But Mask…I…am your FATHER!”

He took a deep breath and gasped out, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” When he stopped to take yet another breath, he looked at Discord quizzically and asked, “Really?”

“No, I just wanted to mess with you,” the wily creature admitted.

“Oh. Okay then!”

And just like that, they had started their epic balloon-saber duel. Their sabers squeaked violently every time they came into contact with each other, as they sliced, weaved, and diced their way through the ancient and graceful dance of the swordsmen. Every time Discord would strike, The Mask would have an elegant counter prepared, and vice versa. Yes, these two titans of chaos were far too evenly matched. Neither of them could gain the upper hand.

Until…

“Discord, I’m afraid I have something to tell you,” The Mask said after evading a particularly close strike of his.

“And what would that be?”

“I…AM NOT LEFT HANDED!”

In a blur of motion, the Mask switched sword hands and went on the offensive, pressing Darth Discord back in a flurry of unavoidable attacks. Desperately, Discord tried to block all of the attacks, before his balloon was torn away from him.

Disarmed, he held his hands up in a gesture of surrender…and then realized something.

“Wait a second, that’s only a balloon!” he muttered. He pulled a pin out from his teeth and popped the Mask’s balloon-saber.

“Hey!” The Mask shouted, looking at the tattered remains of his once proud weapon. “What was that for?”

“This.” Discord then reached back as far as he could with his fist. When it reached the apex of its length, he unleashed what is to this day widely regarded as one of the best sucker punches in all of Equestria history.

The Mask was sent flying into the air, and he landed in a ditch not too far from Carousel  Boutique.

“Round two goes to me!” Discord cheered, doing an improvised cheerleader routine.

That didn’t fly well with our lime-faced hero.

“Okay, that’s it,” he growled. “NO MORE MISTER NICE GUY!”

He reached into his pockets and started pulling out the mother of all weapons.

“Say hello…TO MY LEETLE FRIENDS!”

An entire armada of bazookas, machine guns, tanks, and satellite lasers slowly extended in front of him. Missile launchers and harpoons soon joined the mix, only adding to its massive size. Soon, two columns of weapons the size of booster rockets extended out from his hands, aimed at the soon-to-be pile of ash that was Discord.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,” Discord said, slinking up to the Mask’s side. He wrapped an arm casually around his shoulders, lowering the guns with his free hand. “We’re obviously too evenly matched to do any lasting damage to one another, right?”

“Maaaaybe?” The Mask said, puzzled.

“And if you blast me, I’ll blast you, and that would just be a HUGE waste of ammo, riiiight?”

“Yeah.”

“Well then, I suggest we settle this in the ancient and time honored method of Japan,” Discord gleefully responded. “This trial shall test our honor, our dedication, endurance, and most importantly of all, it will make sure that we are truly balanced.”

Thoughtfully, The Mask rubbed his head with one of his weapon pillars, accidentally pulling the trigger on it. An entire barrage of deadly weaponry shot out, heading for the general direction of Canterlot.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

Prince Blueblood was taking his daily stroll through the gardens, fuming over how one of his incompetent maids had spilled a dash of wine on his favorite suit (which he had ten more of). Of course, he had fired her on the spot and sent her home crying.

“Serves her right. I mean, this suit is one of my most prized possessions!” he vented, fondly stroking the collar.

And then, without any warning whatsoever, the world around him burst in an apocalypse of explosions. The snobby prince cried out in shock and huddled on the ground. When he dared to get back up, everywhere around him was peppered with small craters and smoking bits of scrap metal. He was indeed, very lucky to be alive.

His suit and fur coat, however…

“AAAAH! MY SUIT! IT’S GONE!”

A passing gardener glanced at him amusingly.

“That’s not the only thing that’s gone, ya naked mole rat.”

“NOOOOOO!”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

Back in Ponyville, Discord and The Mask had set up the field where they would hold their final duel. Ponies watched in silent awe, as the two warriors set themselves up to do battle. Even the chaos in the air had died down in anticipation of what would undoubtedly go down in history as the greatest confrontation of all of Pony kind.

The Mask stepped onto an iron platform, and Discord did the same on a separate platform. The two entities glared daggers at each other…

And then The Mask tapped the start button on his dance pad.

Loud frantic music filled the air. The Mask gave his Equestrian counterpart a final smirk. Before anything could be said, the giant screen in front of them lit up. Arrows started to flash across it, and the two players started to move their feet.

Each of them stole glances at their opponent when they could afford to, wanting to try and see how they were doing in comparison to each other. Sweat started to run down The Mask’s face in small rivers as he danced his heart out. Discord wasn’t doing too well either. In fact, he was panting from the effort of competing against something that was nearly as chaotic as him.

“Give up yet, Masky?” Discord taunted, ignoring the burning sensation in his lungs.

“You kidding? I COULD GO ALL DAY~!” The Mask retorted, suddenly spinning on top of his head and managing to still get every point.

Not wanting to be outdone, Discord started spinning on the tip of his tail, while playing the bongos. Somehow, he managed to make it sound like he did that every day.

Eventually, the show-off battle escalated. The Mask would play the xylophone with his teeth, while using his hands to manipulate the dance pad beneath him, and Discord would make some stir fry while using his tongue to manipulate his dance pad.

Everything was falling into complete chaos for the two combatants.

Finally, The Mask jumped off of his pad and grabbed Discord. Together, the two of them started moving in a refined and sophisticated tango. Their very movements screamed grace and elegance. As they danced, somepony had the sense to throw a rose at them, which The Mask easily caught in his teeth.

“Ah, mi amigo es muy bonita,” The Mask muttered around the rose.

“Oh, stop it you,” Discord replied, coyly blinking at his dance partner.

A pink hoof tapped on The Mask’s shoulder.

“Mind if I cut in?” Pinkie Pie asked him, before she gently pushed him away and started dancing with Discord. She also managed to snatch the rose out of The Mask’s mouth with a well placed chomp.

“Well, excuse me!” he sniffed, wiping away a tear. “And here I thought I would finally be the Belle of the Harvest Festival! BUT IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEPONY HAD TO TEAR THAT AWAY FROM ME!”

He crossed his arms and glared at the rest of the ponies watching.  One angry look from him was enough to send them scampering for their homes.

“Omnius!” a lavender colored unicorn shouted. “Is that you?”

“No! Well, yes. I’m The Mask but I’m using his body,” The Mask responded while Pinkie and Discord proceeded to waltz around them.

“Well, give him his body back! We need him if we’re gonna beat Discord!” said Applejack, giving The Mask an odd look.

“Awww, do I have to? I was just starting to have some real fun!” he whined. “I wanted to-”

“LET HIM GO, NOW!” Twilight angrily shouted, stomping her hoof. A bright spark shot out of her horn and lit a patch of grass on fire.

“…When you put it that way, I think I’ve had my fun!”

The Mask lifted his hands up to his face and started to peel himself away from his host. Green lightning shot through the air, a physical representation of the chaotic magic that fuelled the sentient artifact.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

My head was POUNDING. It felt like there was a dwarf trying to play a Dragonforce song in my head.

Lamenting the loss of my glasses, I glanced around where I was standing. A bunch of multi-colored blurs met my gaze…that didn’t do any good.

“What happened?” I asked. Squinting, I realized Twilight was standing just a little ways away from me with the rest of the girls behind her and I smiled. “Did it work? Are we all friends again?”

Applejack wrapped her forelegs around me in a tight embrace. “That answer your question, pardner?”

“Good enough for me,” I laughed. Everypony was wearing their Elements around their necks with a sense of pride and duty. Not only that, but they were restored to their normal colors, not the monochrome grey that signified Discord’s corruption.

All of us gave each other a quick hug (Pinkie Pie too, once we got her away from Discord) for good luck, and I walked up to Discord with the girls standing by my side.

“Ah, chaos is a wonderful, wonderful thing!” Discord laughed, as he prepared to down another glass of chocolate milk

“Not as wonderful as friendship!” Twilight shouted, regaining his attention.

Discord groaned in annoyance at the sight of all seven of us standing together. “This again?”

He drank the glass holding his milk and tossed the rest behind him, where it went off like a grenade. That just makes me wonder how well The Mask held up against him.

“That’s right! You couldn’t break apart our friendship for long!” Applejack proudly stated.

“Oh, Applejack, don’t lie to me,” Discord chided. His lion’s paw glowed menacingly. “I’m the one who made you a liar.”

She lifted into the air, her Element gripped in Discord’s magic. The rest of us, Twilight excluded, were lifted alongside her. “Will you ever learn?” he mockingly said.

He looked into my eyes especially, giving me a look that said, “Remember our deal, little Traveler.”

I’ll be honest with you all. I was terrified. None of my powers could be used, or he’d send me away, ruining our hopes of beating him. Literally, I couldn’t do anything against him. He was a God, and…

No…

He might be a God…

But we’ve got something better than that right now.

In a surprise burst of magic, Twilight teleported into the air, directly in the middle of all six of us. Instantly, she cast a shield spell around us that cut off Discord’s magic, setting us all free. The bubble shield gently floated towards the ground, away from the devilish trickster. Strangely enough, where the bubble hit, it banished some of the chaos magic in the ground, restoring it to its normal state.

Discord gave us all an amused look, as Twilight retorted to his earlier comment.

“I’ll tell you what we’ve learned, Discord. We’ve learned that friendship isn’t always easy, but there’s no doubt it’s worth fighting for!”

I stepped forward, and threw in my own two bits, saying, “And I learned that no matter how impossible things may seem, that there’s always a way to overcome them.”

“Ooh, gag! Fine, go ahead, try and use your little Elements. ‘Friend’ me. Just make it quick,” he commanded, warping over to a throne that I had failed to notice. “I’m missing some excellent chaos here.”

Twilight looked at all of us confidently, back in her leadership role. “Alright everyone, let’s show him what friendship can do!”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Pinkie interrupted. She ran over to a cloud of chocolate one last time. She savored every last drop of it in chocolaty bliss.

After she was done, she rejoined the rest of us with a ready snarl on her face.

“Oh, did I mention that I know about what happened the last time you did this?” Discord dryly commented. “His so called, ‘Super Aura’? Did you also know that he’s not allowed to use his powers against me right now? I made him promise, or else I’d force him to leave this world.”

To his surprise, I started laughing.

“Discord, I don’t care about that. Wanna know why? It’s pretty simple. I’m not gonna need my powers to beat you.”

He raised an eyebrow, as the Elements’ glow became almost unbearable to look at.

“I’m not using MY powers to beat you.”

The Elements of Harmony shot out their rainbow and crashed into me, granting me their strength.

“I’ve got something better. See who’s wearing those Elements? Just like The Mask used my body, and granted me its powers, it’s the same with them.”

My eyes began to cast bright blue lights onto the ground. Slowly, my clothes started to change colors, going from their normal appearance to a shimmering gold and white pattern.

“Now? I’ve got Kindness, Generosity, Laughter, Loyalty, Honesty, and Magic backing me up. And you, Discord?”

There was a loud crack of thunder as my shift into the Super Aura finished.

“You’ve got no hope.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

Hey everyone! I just wanted to take a minute to tell you all about the separate story I put up for any future crossovers or side stories that won't directly tie in with this one. Currently, it has the "Le Retour" "How Did I Get Here" and "Living The Dream" chapters, alongside the new crossover I'm working on at the moment.

Omnius' Travels: Tales From The Other Side

Alongside side-stories and crossovers, I'll also just put up extras like deleted scenes, or original concept ideas that I had for this. I might also use it for the next side-story, where we'll explore the origins of Torrentican, or a couple side-story chapters. Who knows?

-Traveler out!

Return of The Traveler

Chapter 22:

Return of The Traveler

(Takes place during “Return of Harmony”)

Discord smiled unexpectedly at my Super Aura.

“Well, that is certainly unexpected, but nothing I can’t deal with,” he mused, fondly scratching the Fu Manchu beard on his chin.

I didn’t say anything in response. For now, my Aura was taking full control of my heart, body, and mind. Pure, raw power coursed through my veins into my entire being, driving out my weariness and clearing my vision.

“Oh, the silent treatment, hmm?” Discord yawned. “I’m SO scared. You have all of your abilities enhanced, but what’s the point of that? After all, I made you promise not to use you-”

A magic bolt shot out from my hand, scorching the tips of his horns. He snarled in rage as he felt them with his eagle hand, before a devious smile flashed across his face. “You broke the rules!” he triumphantly crowed. “That means I get to-”

“Be silent,” I coolly stated.  My fingers snapped, summoning an orb of purple magic to my palm. “I’m not using my power. I’ve already said that, you imbecile.”

“You dare to speak so glibly to a GOD?” he asked incredulously.

“I dare to do a lot of things to anyone who would harm the ones I love,” I responded, my voice never rising from the calm, collected tone of a sage, or scholar. I thrust my hand forward, and the orb shot forward like a bullet. Discord narrowly avoided it by lifting his head off of his shoulders.

“That’s another strike against you Om-”

“Twilight.”

The chaotic being was dumbstruck.

“Come again?” he asked.

“I’m using the powers of the Elements of Harmony,” I stated. Faster than anypony watching could comprehend, I lifted a few inches into the air, and sped towards him in a multi-colored blur. My arm stretched back, and shot forward with a bright orange light encompassing it.

Discord went flying from the force of the blow, and slammed against his throne. Before he could react, I was on him again, slamming my fists rapidly into his face. He twisted out of my grasp and teleported into the air.

Continuing from where I left off, I said, “You see, you failed to account for the ponies at the end of those Elements. Thanks to them, I’ve got their combined strength and power coursing through me. I have Twilight’s magic, Rainbow Dash’s speed, and Applejack’s strength.”

Discord scoffed, and rolled his eyes in a bored manner. “Of course you do…”

“Another fun fact: I have Pinkie Pie’s own brand of chaos.”

“What?”

Without any warning, I had appeared from above his field of view with a glowing pink pie in my hand.

“S’up?” I asked him, a hint of my old smile on my face. As he opened his mouth to respond, I shoved it down his throat, and pushed him away with a buck that Applejack would be proud of.

Erm, technically it’s her strength, so…um…never mind.

Once again, I rushed towards Discord and prepared to unleash another haymaker. This time, however, Discord was expecting it. His tail extended suddenly, snatching me by my ankle. With surprising rage, he lifted his throne into the air with his own magic.

Punctuating each word with another strike, he shouted, “YOU. WILL. NOT. MAKE. A. FOOL. OUT. OF. ME!” His tail flung me uncontrollably into the air, where he rushed at me again, murder in his eyes.

Just as he came within arm’s reach, I did an impromptu aerial roll. He shot past me, while I regained control and flew in the opposite direction. I could literally feel the rage and anger rolling off of him.

While I fled, he followed in close pursuit, small tendrils of lightning leaping off of his horns. He lifted his hands up to the sky, shouting, “I AM A GOD, A TRUE MASTER OF CHAOS AND DECEPTION! I RULED EQUESTRIA BEFORE THOSE PATHETIC UPSTARTS! YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME!”

As he ranted, a dark mass of thunder clouds had appeared above him, slowly forming a gigantic storm that mimicked the draconequus’ body. With a dark smile, he flew into the heart of the storm. Lightning flashed across the storm’s eyes as Discord’s magic brought it to life. A thunderous roar shook the land, making my ears ring in protest.

And then, the storm broke.

Deadly green arcs of electricity shot out of the storm, hurtling directly towards me. I was barely able to call up a pink shield to protect me from the worst of the blast, but I doubted I could handle another direct shot like that.

“That’s right, little Traveler! RUN!” The Discord-storm laughed, sending more electricity at me.

Unfortunately, that was all I could do, until I had time to come up with a plan. Until then…

I poured on the speed, leaving a beam of rainbow colored light in my wake. Never once slowing down, I weaved through the forest, attempting to try and hide myself in the thick foliage. No such luck, however. Discord could see my every move from his storm, and time and time again, I had to dodge another deadly bolt of lightning. Ancient trees covered with moss fell every time he launched another attack, barely missing me each time. Occasionally, I would try to counter with one of my own magic attacks, just to let him know I was still alive and kicking. I didn’t want him to return to Ponyville while he was still angered.

If that happened, he would attack my friends.

And that was something I refused to let happen.

[I'd suggest listening to the final boss theme from "Sonic Colors", especially the MLP theme mash up.]

That phrase kicked my brain into overdrive, instantly speeding up my thought process. Without any hesitation, I rose into the air, and rushed towards Discord’s storm. A vapor cone started to form around my body, my eyes watered violently thanks to the speed I was flying.

With a final shout of effort, I broke through the sound barrier, and left a rainbow colored trail in my wake. Suddenly, I was speeding through the skies at impossible speeds. Everything should have been a blur. I shouldn’t have been able to make out anything around me. Yet somehow, I could make out every fine detail on the dark cloud that formed the head of Discord’s storm…especially the small remnants of the hole that Discord had originally entered from.

So, let’s recap: Rainbow Dash’s speed, plus Rarity’s fine eye for detail and precision, combined with Applejack’s raw strength…equals one hell of a human sniper shot.

I tore through the storm, using Pinkie’s Pinkie senses to avoid all of the lightning that would attempt to stop me from getting to my target.  Reaching a hollowed out section of the storm, I found Discord standing in the center of it all, controlling everything with his magic. Never once slowing down my charge, I pulled my fists back, and brought them crashing down on his neck.

The storm dispersed as quickly as it had appeared, cut off from Discord’s energy. I didn’t stop there though. My arms stretched to incredible lengths, drawing once more from Pinkie’s own cartoonish abilities, as I started swinging in a violent circle, gaining more and more speed, until I let go of the trickster god, sending him crashing into the forest.

He shook his head, dazed from the crash, as I grabbed him by the throat using Twilight and Rarity’s magic. I brought him close to my eyes, and unleashed what was probably the most powerful move I could borrow from my friends.

“Look deep into my eyes, Discord,” I commanded. Forcing his head to meet mine, I stared into them, and let Fluttershy’s stare do the rest.

The draconequus flailed about in my grasp, trying to free himself from the soul-baring power that was The Stare. When I felt he had had enough, I tossed him aside, smirking as I did so.

“You…you think you’re so clever,” Discord gasped, as he strained himself to stand up again. “You think…you think that you have beaten me? I have all of chaos on my side! And you? What do you have? Well, go on then. Finish off another hated enemy. Destroy another monster that the ponies will tell their children to convince them to behave.”

I shook my head in pity.

“Discord…I don’t hate you. I only feel sorry for you. You had all of that power, and you used it for your own selfish being. Look at the ponies, Discord. Did you see how they acted when I used the Mask against you? When you weren’t torturing them?” I asked in a sorrowful voice. “They laughed with you. They truly enjoyed your chaos. It was being used for something other than your own enjoyment…and that made you truly happy, didn’t it?”

His only answer was a weak snort.

“I’m sorry, Discord. Sorry that you never once felt the true power of friendship. Sorry that because you never got to experience that, you underestimate its true potential. Look at me, for instance. All of this power I’ve been using against you?” I snapped my fingers, and a bright multitude of colored sparks flashed into existence. “That’s not mine. That’s the power of Twilight Sparkle. Rarity. Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash. And Applejack. That’s the gift that Harmony and friendship have bestowed upon me.”

Discord once again tried to send a barrage of lightning at me, forcing me into the air. As he attacked, I nodded my head wearily, and said, “So be it.”

The Elements of Harmony gave me one final burst of energy. I placed my hands together with my fingers fanned out, as lights started to jump off of them.

“Honesty…”

The lights took on an orange hue.

“Laughter…”

Bits of cyan mixed with that of the orange.

“Kindness…”

Soft pink light floated out, and merged with the others.

“Generosity…”

Elegant violet streaks of energy snaked out to join the growing beams of light.

“Loyalty…”

Bright red bits of fire erupted from my fingertips.

“Magic…”

Magenta colored pieces of raw magic, life in its basic form, flowed out to combine the rest of the lights into one rainbow colored orb.

“Hope…”

My hands started to glow a vibrant, healthy emerald color, while the rainbow charge of magic grew in size and pressure, causing my arms to shake violently. Putting every single ounce of energy into this attack, I willed the magic to release itself all in a single burst.

“ETERNAL HARMONY CANNON!” I shouted.

The magic broke free, arching towards Discord in a glorious rainbow wave of pure harmony. The rainbow engulfed Discord in a blinding explosion of light, banishing him once again to his prison of stone.

Drained, and utterly spent, I fell to the ground.

“It’s good to be The Traveler,” I panted, before passing out.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

You know, sometimes I wish I could have normal dreams. Just once, I’d like to have a dream where cupcakes and muffins dance around me in a parade, worshipping me as their new Head Emperor C.E.O, while I was shooting a rocket launcher into the sky at a green polka dotted Galactus.

Something that doesn’t make sense, that’s just a normal dream that doesn’t mean anything at ALL.

Instead, I was in a white room. There weren’t any other details. It was just a vast expanse of pure, white…nothingness. No sound, no smell…nothing.

Well, there was a draconequus standing impatiently in front of me.

“Oh, good to see you’re finally here,” he greeted me. He crossed his arms as he waited for me to get my bearings.

“Discord…? Where are we?” I asked, confusion evident in my voice. I noticed that my clothes were entirely white as well, and that I could see Discord clearly without my glasses.

“Well, I’m currently on Equestria, imprisoned within a statue…or at least, my body is. My mind, however, is free to wander as it pleases,” he chuckled.

That didn’t sit right with me. “What do you mean by ‘wander’?”

“Oh, I’m just making sure my pieces are in place. You know how much strategy and forethought goes into a chess game,” he laughed. “Don’t worry, this is an entirely new Equestria. You know how it is with different Gods and realities.”

“I’m still worried,” I muttered.

“Actually, I should thank you for inspiring me to do this,” he mused.  “In fact, you, Neutra, and Torrentican are the inspiration behind all of this. You three are champions for just the respective powers of Good, Evil, and Neutrality. Embodiments of Creation, life, and universes! Do you know how many Gods are sending their own champions to Equestrias all over the multiverse because of that? Or, I guess the term ‘pieces’ would be more appropriate.”

“Is that what you wanted to talk about?” I snapped. “Did you just want to get the last word in before you went bye-bye?”

He sighed, and quickly become somber. His fingers snapped, and a table materialized between the two of them. Two elaborate wooden chairs made of the same white stuff of the room appeared as well. Sitting down in the chair closest to him, he beckoned for me to do the same.

Once I was seated, he leaned forward, a glimmer of curiosity in his eyes.

In a calm, measured tone, he said, “Sean Nathaniel Brandenburg. You’re definitely an odd one. Everything you do is somehow predictable, yet surprising nonetheless.”

“What do you mean?”

“Imagine that someone, a complete stranger we’ll say, was in trouble. You don’t know if he’ll reward you, or stab you in the back, or whether he wants to die or not. For all you know, he might be the crucial part of a plan to destroy a terrorist organization, or maybe a sacrifice to stop the return of a demon. He might even be a wanted fugitive, or a key witness to a murder case.” He leaned forward onto the table, locking his fingers together. “The question I want you to answer for me: What would you do?”

I considered the question for a long moment. My first impulse was to say that I would save them in a heartbeat, but something told me that wasn’t it exactly. Was that the truth?  Or is there something more to it than that?

Discord patiently waited for my answer, reclining in his seat as he did so.

Finally, I had an answer:

“Discord…I don’t know what I would do. There are too many people out there who I don’t know. If I see someone in trouble, I guess I’ll just have to do what I always do,” I slowly said.

“And what would that be, my dear Traveler?” Discord asked.

“Follow my heart. If I did what my head told me, I’d take too long. But my heart…somehow, it just knows. I’m not talking about my clairvoyancy either. It’s something deeper than that. Something I can’t explain,” I admitted. I stuck my hands in my pocket, and leaned back in my chair.

To my surprise, Discord smiled softly. It was only a little unsettling, to be honest. Sure, he had just been trying to kill me, but it was understandable. He was a god, and a force of chaos. Chaos is pretty unpredictable, but a necessary part of life.

In a soft tone, he said, “And that is exactly what I meant. For you, that answer is completely predictable. But for anyone else, it’s completely surprising. Normally, that might be considered a bad thing…then again, this is your life, isn’t it? If your ‘heart’ tells you to be happy about it, then you’re probably happy.”

I didn’t understood what he meant by it at the time. Looking back on it, I…think I get it.

Discord laughed once again.

“What’s so funny?” I asked him.

“I never told you where we are,” he cheerfully said. “Do you realize how much of your own life energy you put into that final attack?”

“…Oh jeez.”

“That’s right! You put too much into that attack, and died! I managed to pull you out of your conscious while you were recuperating on another world, so I could have this chat with you. When you wake up, you’ll be free to return to Equestria, or go on another journey and return after. It doesn’t matter to me at all.”

Discord stood up, and caused the table and chairs to disappear.

“So…I died again,” I dryly commented. “Fourteenth Death, caused by putting too much life into an attack. I guess I had to make that mistake eventually.”

Both of us shared a weak laugh at my pathetic attempt at making light of the situation.

“Well, if it makes you feel better, that attack should ensure that I don’t break out for a good long while…or at least, until you decide to free me!” Discord said, scratching his chin in a mockery of my signature beard scratch.

Wearily, I pinched the bridge of my nose. In an aggravated tone, I said, “You know, Discord, maybe I won’t have to free you. Maybe the power of harmony will decide you should get a second chance. Who knows?”

He hesitated, before sticking his hand out. I clasped his eagle’s hand in mine.

The God of Neutrality smiled. “It was good to have a decent challenger this time. You put up an excellent fight.”

“Yeah. Hey, maybe if you do become one of the good guys, we might end up becoming friends,” I joked.

“In another world, that’s going to be the truth,” he cackled.

With that, he pulled his hand back, and slapped me across the face.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

After the awards ceremony, the girls had returned to Ponyville in a slightly mournful mood. There had been no word from Omnius after they had discovered Discord’s statue sitting in the Everfree next to a massive field of flowers and tree saplings.

In the mean time, they had gone to the ceremony awarding them for resealing Discord, and been awarded their medals. To them, it didn’t really matter. As long as Ponyville and Equestria was safe, then they had won.

Night had fallen when they had returned to Ponyville.

“Do you think he’s alright?” Fluttershy finally asked them after they had stepped off the train from Canterlot.

“I’m sure he’s okay!” Pinkie Pie said optimistically. “He’s probably on a new world now!”

“Why didn’t he say goodbye then?” the shy Pegasus insisted. “He always said that he would say goodbye before he left, but…”

“Don’t think like that,” Applejack said, wrapping a forehoof around her shoulders. “Who knows? He’s always doin’ random things like that. What do you think, Twi?”

Twilight thought about it for a moment, before shrugging. “I don’t know. Either way, he can’t really…die, per say. We’ll see him again soon enough.”

She lifted her eyes to the starry sky above them.

“He told us that whenever he was needed, he’d go to them. For now, we’ll just have to wait…at least we know he’s out there.”

A star twinkled in response.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

I shot up in my bed. Hesitantly, I put my hand to my face, making sure I was all there. Everything seemed to be in order.

“Guess I’m okay then,” I yawned. Frowning, I realized that my room looked…different. Instead of the usual dark blue paint, it was set in a light green color. My shelves were in odd places, and the wrong books were there.

“What world am I on? Ye Gods, have I gotten so used to Equestria that it’s really bugging me that I’m not used to a new room?”

Maybe that was a sign that I needed to start another adventure on a new world. I’ve been on Equestria for an incredibly long time. With Discord gone, there weren’t any pressing threats that I needed to worry about. Hell, even if there were, I’m a Traveler. I can Travel through time, remember? If they ever need me again, I’ll return…

Just as I always have.

"Live and Learn, sans souci, and Esperanto."

Hmm…feels like I’m forgetting something. Then again, it’s probably something I shouldn’t worry about. I’ll try to look on the bright side of things for now. Hey, maybe I’ll be able to relax for a little bit without having to worry about anything involving an apocalypse! Just relax with my friends, have some shenanigan related days where embarrassment is the main priority.

I stepped outside of my door, and into the large foyer of a mansion.

“Nate!” a semi-robotic voice called from above me. “You’re just in time! There’s been some sort of time-space disturbance over the city. Reed Richards discovered traces of Power Cosmic leaking in as well. We don’t have much time, we need to move!”

Of, freaking, course.

No rest for the Eternal…heh, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Tony and I raced outside, him flying into the air with his Iron Man suit, and me hopping on my hover board. All around us, the city seemed to be going straight to hell in a hand basket, with heroes and villains everywhere duking it out.

Well. Looks like I’m needed again.

It’s good to be The Traveler!

Traveler's Log: A Monsterpedia Of The Travels

Traveler’s Log

Hello everyone. My name is Archive Model Number 0362. But you may know me as Ivy, the keeper of Omnius’ Timeless Library.

Alongside organizing all forms of data or information that he comes across, it is also my job to manage his own personal findings for easier access. Omnius has instructed me to share select parts of his log, most notably the files on beings that he has encountered over the course of his Travels. He also mentioned a curious note about automatically updating it for every new creature seen in the story, whatever that means…

In any case, this will hopefully provide a better understanding of what he faces every day.

So, let us get started.

Welcome, to The Traveler’s Log.

.

Shadow Stalkers

Shadow Stalkers, also referred to as “Minions” or “Shade Warriors”, are Torrentican’s main form of assistance and support. Whenever he doesn’t want to get his hands dirty in something or wants to create a diversion, he’ll send these out to do whatever the Hell he wants. Shadow Stalkers come in a great variety of shapes, sizes, and forms, so this might end up becoming the longest log entry on here. Please note that the “Threat Level” is on a scale of one to thirteen.

Also, before I forget to write this down, I should probably give you a rough summary of how Torrie makes these, huh?

Alright, basically, he waits for night to fall, as he draws power from the natural darkness of that time. When he acquires said power, he adds magic to it, shaping it as he pleases, and uses his own emotional energy to give it drive. When that’s done, he imprints a small shard of his own soul into it, effectively bonding it to him for life. So far, he’s only skipped that last part with two Shadow Stalkers, but both of them are unknown*.

*Unless you’ve read “Eternal Twilight”, then you know at least one of them.

In any case, after that he then sends it out to do whatever task he created it for. The more powerful the stalker, the more energy and time it takes to create one. The simplest can be made by the dozen on a good night, while the most complex takes ten years to complete. There are literally uncountable Stalkers out there, so not all of them are gonna be in this book. Doesn’t matter though, at least I’ll have a place of reference.

Type: Imps

Strengths: Easy to mass produce, and excel at gathering information.

Weaknesses: Light, fire, lightning.

Threat Level: 2 (7 if in swarm of twenty or more).

Traveler’s Notes: These are pretty much as basic as it gets with Torrie’s Minions. Due to the incredibly low amount of magic needed to create these things, these are actually one of the few Stalkers that changes form with each world. For example, if Humans are the dominant species, or main characters, then they’ll take the form of small children…with razor sharp claws on their hands and feet, no hair, and skin made of living shadows. Anyways, these things only have one form of magic: Their ability to transmit everything they see to their master.

What else can I say about these freaks? They can blend with the shadows around them, and make no noise if they’re not attacking, making them perfect for basic reconnaissance missions. If you see them in a swarm, make sure you don’t turn your back on any of them. Best strategy when dealing with them is to grab a big stick, or gun, and clean house.

If it’s a swarm, I suggest you get backup, or a machine gun.

Ivy’s Notes: While each form may be different in appearance, basic functions and weaknesses tend to stay the same, unless form is extremely different.

Twilight’s Notes: Wow, I can’t believe that Omnius asked me to add in my own findings! Anyways, I’ve noticed that Omnius will fight them off with mostly melee techniques, even though he doesn’t have much protection against their claws. Erm, razor hooves. Whatever!

Type: Ice Leopards

Strengths: Resilient to all forms of Ice, Nature, and water based attacks. Predatory instincts combined with increased intelligence.

Weaknesses: Fire, Heat, Stone, and disoriented when certain pitches reach ears.

Threat Level: 6

Traveler’s Notes: Ice Leopards are a common type of Stalker. You’ll probably see these cats handling a squad of Imps, or other minor type of minion. They’ve got hardened ice spikes covering certain areas of their body, and their bones are made of incredibly dense ice that’s twice as hard as the average human bone. Typically, they appear in hunting pairs, but have been known to attack in groups of four on occasion.

Obviously, they use ice as their main attack. Freeze breath seems to be their only ranged attack, and they will rely on their agility and claws for the rest of their attacks. Their ice is somehow enchanted to be too cold to pick up without any form of protection, and is, again, incredibly dense.

Seems like the best strategy for dealing with these is to get some source of heat, like a torch or a flamethrower, or get rid of their eyes. Apparently that’s their version of an insta-kill.

Ivy’s Notes: The earlier mentioned “Predatory Instincts” also extend to their basic responses to certain factors in their environment. A high pitched frequency will disorient them, and they will always attack who they feel is either A) the biggest threat, or B) the weakest link.

Twilight’s Notes: From how Omnius has fought these, and from his stories that he’s told us, it also appears that Ice Leopards…hate Disco music. It either infuriates them, or briefly terrifies them. It’s a gamble, but either way, it could be an effective method of dealing with them.

Type: Vultures

Strengths: Flight, razor sharp wings and talons, and incredibly stealthy.

Weaknesses: Lightning, Wind, and Stone.

Threat Level: 6

Traveler’s Notes: Vultures are the basic air infantry unit for Torrentican. Humanoid in appearance, with wings made of serrated metal feathers replacing their arms (I have no idea how they manage to stay in the air, even though said wings are incredibly light), these guys definitely take after the animal they’re named after. They tend to attack by swooping in from the sky, and slicing you with either their wings, or talons. Either way, never take your eyes off of this thing, or it’ll slice you to ribbons.

Another weird thing about this one is that I’ve never seen its face. No, really. They constantly wear a blood-red cloak that hides their faces from sight, and I haven’t ever gotten a good look at it. Besides, even if you’re close enough to look at it, its breath is enchanted to knock you out if you’re too close to it. I like to call it their Carrion Breath, since every time they’ve used it on me, I keep thinking they’ve just eaten rotten flesh.

In any case, best way to deal with them is to take out their wings. Occasionally, if you’re a good hand with a club, you can bat them out of the sky when they charge at you. That’s not recommended though, unless your club is made of something tougher than wood, or you have good aim. One good whack on the head will send ‘em to the ground, where you can finish them off.

Ivy’s Notes: Vultures always seem to attack you when your back is turned, but when you face them head on, they will try to circle around you. They also seem to fear the hiss of a snake, although there is no conclusion as to why that is.

Twilight’s Notes: Whenever any of us (myself, my friends, and Omnius) try to look at it in the eyes, it will tend to swerve upwards, and redirect its face somewhere else. Could that be why it wears its hood? Is it ashamed of how it looks, or scared to look others in the eyes? What could even make it that way in the first place…?

Type: Brute Golems

Strengths: Incredible defense, strength, and size.

Weaknesses: Water, drills, and it sports a low intelligence.

Threat Level: 6.7

Traveler’s Notes: The Brute Golems (also referred to as “Stone Golems”) are one of Torrie’s stalkers made for pure intimidation. I mean, come on: A gorilla like creature covered in granite plates of “natural” armor, sickly grey flesh, and the way they can hurl trees like twigs make this one a force to be reckoned with.  Seriously, I’ve seen this one toss cars and trucks around without getting even the slightest hint of exhaustion.

They have very little magical prowess is the good thing, though, aside from their ability to feel/sense anything in stone, and summon the occasional earthquake if angered enough. Normally, they rely only on their brute strength, and really only follow the orders of whatever Stalker is leading them. If that one is taken out though, then they'll fall into a blind rage and destroy all in their sight.

The best way to deal with them is to bring the heavy weapons. Light attacks won’t do anything but disorient them, and if you want to truly bring one down, you’re gonna have to smash its armor, or get in a good headshot.

Ivy’s Notes: Due to the Golem’s incredible density, it can’t swim, or manage any movement that requires a somewhat “lighter” touch. When it charges, be sure to avoid it if it has gained momentum. A Golem charging at full speed is the equivalent of, as Omnius would put it, “A semi-truck made of vibranium attached to a jet-engine.”

Twilight’s Notes: The Golem appears to have trouble when dealing with a slippery surface, as discovered when Pinkie accidentally turned a banana cart over. The Golem couldn’t control his momentum, and had to use its arms just to keep its balance. From there, it was a simple matter of smashing an anvil over its head…

Did I just say that was a simple matter?

Type: Fallen Guardians

Strengths: Above average strength, thick armor, agility, able to master every melee weapon out there. Incredibly resistant to all magic attacks.

Weaknesses: No ranged attacks, other than throwing their weapons.

Threat Level: 9.7

Traveler’s Notes: Every Stalker has a purpose, right? That’s why each Stalker specializes in certain things. If that’s the case, then that means that the Fallen Guardians were created for one thing, and one thing only: To kill me, and anyone else who would stand by me.

Not only are they encased in nearly unbreakable demonic armor, but they also wield their weapons with the utmost efficiency. If there is a melee weapon that they can’t master, then I haven’t found it yet. Typically, they use medieval weapons such as swords, axes, and spears, but I’ve also seen them use chainswords (chainsaw swords) and lightsabers.

Every time I tango with one of these guys, I’m lucky to make it out in one piece. I normally have to enter some form of Aura to deal with them. They’re also virtually immune to all projectile attacks, due to their armor and ability sense attacks like that. The only way to fight them is with their natural element: close-range combat.

If you ever find yourself in that situation, you better hope you’re a master at whatever weapon you use. Either that, or pray you can run. Fast.

Ivy’s Notes: The Fallen Guardians are one of five Stalkers designed for killing Omnius and his companions. Fallen Guardians are the most commonly seen in realms where it is medieval, or magic based.

Twilight’s Notes: I don’t know how, but I’ve also discovered that even though attacking Fallen Guardians with magic isn’t advisable, using magic to increase your own attributes is a good plan, much like Omnius’ Auras. They won’t be able to adjust quickly enough to deal with the sudden change in the opponent they’re fighting, and it might be enough to give you an edge.

Auras

So. Auras. How do I explain these?

Well, first, I gotta say this: All three Travelers have a sort of…condition, if you will. Basically, due to the combination of our immortality, ability to Travel, and the fact that we constantly add to our power by learning and other means (long stories), we have incredible amounts of constantly-charging energy stored within us. Now, what this means for us, is that we need to be extremely careful with our magic and strength.  If we make a mistake, a small “Spark” could transform into a roaring fireball.

But this also means that it manifests in another way: our respective/unique powers. For example, Torrentican has the ability to create his Shadow Stalkers, Neutra has the ability to not only create her “Disciples of the Scales” (a secret group that helps keep the balance by subtly influencing certain powers), but she also can create fantastic inventions and machines.

And I have my Auras.

Auras are basically when I supercharge one power, or attribute, at the expense of others, and increased weakness to certain attacks. I can increase elemental attacks, magic skill, strength, wisdom, speed, anything really.  Now that I think about it, there is probably an Aura for everything…anyways, they take a good amount of energy to use, but the more one is used, or the weaker it is, the less energy is wasted in the transformation.

Another note I should mention: Each Aura has various…“Levels” that signify its power level. For example, the Fire Aura has four levels I’m aware of: Ember, Flame, Inferno, and Blazing Angel. Unfortunately, each power has its own “Corrupted” or “Dark” form.

So, this section will be dedicated to some of the Auras I’ve learned about. Same rules as before, except “Threat Level” is replaced with “Power Level”.

Type: Fire Aura

Strengths: Fire magic, limited flight, and close-range projectile attacks.

Weaknesses: Water, Stone, increased temper and “hotheadedness”.

Power Levels: Ember, Flame, Inferno, and Blazing Angel.

Corrupted Form: Hellfire

Traveler’s Notes: This was the first Aura, the one that started it all. Basically, this one does what the name implies, and increases all fire based magic, while sacrificing my nature, water, ice, and other magic related to that. This also means that I can resist ice and nature attacks, but…well, keep me away from anything that could put out the flames. Occasionally, certain ice attacks can affect me, but it doesn’t happen too often.

I’ve also discovered that since heat rises, if I focus the intensity of my flames, I can fly at low altitudes. Hard to turn, but it works.

Ivy’s Notes: It would appear that Omnius’ mental state is also altered in his Auras. In the Fire Aura, he appears to have an increased temper, and tends to act brashly. This is an Aura meant for fighting, and the higher level of power it is at, the more temperamental Omnius will act.

Twilight’s Notes: As with all Auras, his form will change with the power level. Ember Aura only has small bits of sparks in his hair, slightly smoking clothes, and the fire will intensify with each increase in power. His clothes also take on a distinct shade of orange and yellow when he goes beyond Flame Aura.

Something I should also mention is that whenever he’s in his pony form, the Fire Aura turns him into a unicorn.  I guess that certain Auras will transform him into the “native”, as he puts it, form of the world he’s on that fits the Aura.

Type: Speed Aura

Strengths: Enhanced agility, reflexes, and speed.

Weaknesses: Less physical strength, and defense.

Power Levels: Speed, Lightspeed, and Ludicrous Speed.

Corrupted Form: None

Traveler’s Notes: Ah, the Speed Aura. This is probably one of my favorite Auras that I’ve gotten. I’ve actually used this one enough times to lessen the usual weariness afterwards for its first level.

Well, the obvious trait about this one is the massive boost in speed. I can run faster, and react in less time than usual. Another thing I like about this Aura is that it also turbocharges my thought process, meaning I can literally think fast.

Now, the downside to this is that I kinda turn into a wimp. Sure, I can still toss around a few good punches, but I’m not as strong as before. The strongest attack I can do, in terms of physical power, is basically gather as much momentum as possible, and hit them with my best haymaker. Although I can also throw out attacks much faster than before, but any attacks that require “charging” are pretty much gone.

Ivy’s Notes: The Speed Aura alters his mental state to instill a feeling of confidence, and increased hand-eye coordination. He speaks in a much more rapid tone, and gains a feeling of impatience. His tendency to taunt his enemies and make jokes increases, but he still remains able to focus on the situation at hand.

Twilight’s Notes: Most of the times, in Pony form, the Speed Aura will transform him into an Earth Pony. But there have been instances of him turning into a Pegasus, even though he’ll still stick to running on the ground while using his wings for higher jumps. I’ve also noticed he’ll get flecks of green in his eyes, and his mane will take on a bit of a blue tint. His mane will also become windswept, even when he’s standing still…which happens rarely, if at all.

…And he won’t stop talking when he starts to really deduce something, and won’t let others interrupt him. I’ll admit it; it’s almost like having a second Pinkie Pie that’s talking about detective work instead of baking.

Type: Magic Aura

Strengths: All forms of magic power increase, increased wisdom and clearer thoughts.

Weaknesses: Almost no physical attacks, relies solely on magic.

Power Levels:  Magician, Wizard, Archmage, and Sorceror Supreme.

Corrupted Form: Dark Magus

Traveler’s Notes: The Magic Aura is one of the Auras I use for two scenarios. With the Magician Aura, which is basic magic with a focus on illusions, I’ll end up using it to entertain kids, or make a quick escape. Really great at parties.  I’ll also use the Wizard Aura, I can use that for basic confrontations, magic demonstrations, and to speed up construction processes.

The second scenario is…well, apocalyptic scenarios. It’s one of those Auras that I can’t really psychologically bring up unless the situation is dire. I mean, an Aura with the ability to call forth the power of the heavens (as thespians put it) is something that you don’t really bring to a barfight.

So, phenomenal power, extreme loss of energy afterwards. I won’t really pass out, like if I went into a Super Aura, but…well, you get the general idea. Also, the primary powers seem to be wind and levitation in these forms, although other spells are used too.

Ivy’s Notes: While in this form, Omnius takes on a calmer persona that speaks in the old English tongue, much like a Shakespearean actor. He also can’t use any form of technology that came to be after World War I. His intellect also reaches near genius levels, and there hasn’t been a riddle or puzzle created that this Aura can’t solve.

His personality in the Magician Aura takes on that of a showman. Everything becomes a performance, and he will go out of his way to make things look more extravagant, although he normally keeps those tendencies under control.

The Wizard Aura, and everything above that, is more serious, and grim. There are very little, if any, taunts, although he can still become a sort of mentor for other magic users. The easiest comparison would be a combination of Gandalf and Dumbledore, as he has put it.

Twilight’s Notes: This Aura forces Omnius into Unicorn form, and curiously gives him an older appearance. His beard will grow, and streaks of grey will appear in his hair. Normally, he also appears in purple colored robes, in Wizard Aura, but the Magician Aura gives him a simple top hat, black coat, and blue cape.

This kinda reminds me of Trixie…but at least he isn’t as bad…although his Magician Aura’s tendency to turn everything into a show can be entertaining when used right.

Type: Guardian Aura

Strengths: Enhancement and slight mastery of EVERY single attribute.

Weaknesses: Requires dire situation, or power source to activate transformation.

Power Levels: Super, Hyper, Ultimate, and possibly others.

Corrupted Form: None

Traveler’s Notes: Ye Gods, and Goddesses. The Guardian Aura…At first, I only called it the Super Aura, due to the fact that it’s one of the most powerful Auras in my arsenal. Literally every power I have, including some that I’ve yet to really learn how to use, is given a massive boost, and I’m able to use them with the utmost proficiency. Hell, even my LUCK is increased in this Aura. I can move from one point to another in the blink of an eye, cast spells that I would never dream of using for fear of failure, and I just…yowza.

The only drawbacks to this one that I can think of is the enormous drain of energy, and the fact that it needs a charge to get going, or some form of situation where we literally NEED the Aura.

Ivy’s Notes: While in this Aura, Omnius’ personality becomes that of a true Guardian. He does not ask for a surrender, he commands them to give up. He will not listen to their demands, and will instead give them an ultimatum. And according to previous log entries, they seem to listen. If not, then he will fight them with everything he’s got.

Twilight’s Notes: When I first saw Omnius go into his Super Aura while fighting Nightmare Moon…I can’t describe it. By looking at him, all of my fear, worry, and stress just…vanished. The girls felt the same way as well, and I can only say that by looking at him, we all felt…protected. I guess that’s why he calls it the Guardian Aura. The impressive thing, though, is that he transformed into an Alicorn when he used this Aura.

Type: Timekeeper’s Aura

Strengths: Manipulation of the flow of Time around all manner of creatures, and objects.

Weaknesses: None, other than being unable to use other types of spells.

Power Levels: Timekeeper

Corrupted Form: None

Traveler’s Notes: The Timekeeper’s Aura is another powerful Aura I have. No form of corruption, no serious drawbacks…it’s purely Time based. My minor clairvoyancy is increased to the point where I can predict other’s moves before they even think of them. I can slow down time, speed it up, and focus that point of Time manipulation on a single area. For example, I was once caught in an onslaught of bullets due to an ambush. My Timekeeper’s Aura was activated at the time, and I simply snapped my fingers, and reversed the flow of time around the bullets, forcing them back into their cartridge, and into the gun. Alongside that, my senses are astronomically increased, and I can hear, see, and sense everything.

This is just…incredible. I don’t master Time, I just become a vessel for Time’s bidding. I can’t really even describe the feeling. All I can say is that it’s the only Aura that doesn’t drain me when I use it. Although I can’t summon it unless it’s an apocalyptic scenario where Time hangs in the balance. Except for one occasion when I accidentally summoned it in a fit of rage, mixed with an incredible sense of Time.

Ivy’s Notes: I’ve noticed that while all three Travelers have their own personal mastery at Time, Space, and Matter, it would appear that they each have a certain preference. Omnius uses Time, Torrentican uses Space, and Neutra uses Matter.

Anyways, Omnius’ personality becomes more mysterious, and cryptic. His voice echoes strangely, and he tends to pull a pocket watch out and constantly uses that when he talks, or explains something in the Timestream.

Twilight’s Notes: He never becomes a pony in this form. It always reveals his true self, as a human, and not in any other form. His right eye, and fist, constantly glow a bright white, and it leaves a faint after trail.

This Aura really brings his “Time Traveler” aspect to a whole new light. He doesn’t just control time with this Aura, it seems like he becomes it. It’s…strange, to say the least.

Profiles

This section of my log is dedicated to the different races, enemies, people, and friends I’ve met during my Travels. I’ll include their alignment instead of the Threat Level, or Power Levels this time around, along with some other differences. Should be obvious what they are once they’re seen. I’m also not going to have Twilight or Ivy’s notes on here, because they’re all people I’ve personally met. I don’t want Twilight or the others to know about them…at least, not yet. Perhaps when the time is right.

Name: Gordon, Keeper of The Tower

Species: Human Wizard

Age: 19

Homeworld: “Darklight” realm.

Alignment: Good

Traveler’s Notes: Gordon is one of the most powerful magic users I’ve ever encountered in my Travels. One of my best friends too. Seriously, his normal level of power is equal to my Archmage Aura. And if you get him mad, and determined to win? Well, I hope you had a nice existence.

That’s not to say he’s without his flaws though. Even though he’s a freakin’ magical prodigy, his social skills are worse than Twilight, and he’s almost as weak as a newborn child (almost). Then again, that’s probably due to the fact that he was raised in a tower for the first eighteen-somewhat years of his life. After that, he set out into the world, met me and a few others, and shenanigans ensued.  I helped set him up with his current girlfriend, and he helped me to get over the loss of my own girlfriend, and subsequent temporary insanity (thank you Dark Aura).  During that fiasco, he found out his father somehow became the Grim Reaper of that world. Spooky, huh?

All in all, he’s a guy I trust, and probably the first man I’ll talk to if there’s a magical theory thing I’m having trouble with.

Name: Jenna Stargazer

Species: Half-Elven Mage*

Age: 18

Homeworld: “Darklight” realm

Alignment: Good

Traveler’s Notes: I regret not writing this entry when she was alive. I could have put so much more about her here. I could have had her write it herself, and add in my own notes afterwards.

But even though I can Travel through Time, I shouldn’t spend my time saying, “Could have, should have, would have.”

In any case, Jenna specialized in healing magic. Probably number seven on the list of healers I’ve met in my eternal lifetime. Not only that, but she had a heart of gold, and was she managed to always find the right words to say to calm a crying child, or maybe distract a patient while she removed a limb with a conversation.

I don’t know much about her past. She was taught by a wizard, went out on her own, bringing life to others, and somehow, our paths crossed.

As much as I hate to say negative things about her, she was always too self-sacrificing. Normally, that’s not a bad thing, but…she never tried to worry about her own happiness. It was as if she always knew she didn’t have much time left.

Name: The Lord of The Land (?)

Species: Undead human trapped in enchanted suit of armor.

Age: ?

Homeworld: “Darklight” realm, soon to be “Arcanis” world.

Alignment: Neutral-Evil

Traveler’s Notes: Jenna was brutally murdered…by this man. Every time I have a nightmare about her, he’s always at the end of it. He brought out my Dark Aura, he kidnapped Gordon’s girlfriend, and…

After all this time, all these years, I finally came to the point where I had to look back into his history. And now that I know about him, and why he did the things that he did…

I forgive him. I can’t forget it, by no means, but…I can try and move past it, can’t I?

Anyways, before I give out his back story, let me go over his skills. He’s a master swordsman, and could probably hold his own against four Fallen Guardians. Not only that, but he’s a genius tactician in and out of the battlefield, and has brilliant leadership skills. Now, let me pose this question: How did he get these skills?

He was the king of an island nation. His people loved him, and valued his wisdom and kind council. Admittedly, he wasn’t perfect. His land’s crime rate was pretty high, and he dealt out some strict punishments, but he never went too far.

There was one case, however, that was the doom of him, and his land. Remember Gordon’s father? Well, it turns out that while he was alive, he was the most powerful mage in that world (passed by Gordon later). He didn’t trust people at all, and preferred to stay within the confines of his tower with his magical assistants…the same couldn’t be said of his wife, however. Gordon’s mother was in the market one day, and…she was raped, and murdered right after.

When Gordon’s dad found out, he tried to appeal to the king, but they couldn’t find the killer. So, in a fit of rage, he cast a spell over the land that killed all forms of life, and made the land completely uninhabitable (minus his tower, of course). He also cursed The Lord of the Land to become an undead monster, forever trapped within the armor he wore, saying, “Be forever imprisoned within the shining armor you always professed to wear.”

That curse killed Gordon’s father, thus leaving The Lord of the Land unable to enact his revenge on anyone…except Gordon.

So, he found out where Gordon was, enacted a revenge scheme...and he killed Jenna in the crossfires. Shit happened. I've moved on (I hope).

I keep having dreams though. The future-seeing ones. I keep seeing that…well, I can see him gaining a chance at redemption. And I’m the one who gives it to him. I'm still working out the details, but...it's unmistakable Almost as unmistakable as the dreams I had that signified my transformation into The Traveler.

Race: Terramora

Species: Robotic, semi-organic creatures.

Homeworld: None

Strengths: Numbers, Advanced Tecnology, immunity to most magic.

Weaknesses: Can't use magic, increased susceptibility to time attacks. Emotionless, and can only focus on programming.

Traveler’s Notes: Oh, ye Gods and Goddesses. Well, they say that people make their own enemies, right? In mine and Neutra’s cases, that is way too true.

The Terramora were mine and Neutra’s attempts at trying to monitor Torrentican sending Shadow Stalkers to other worlds without us knowing. It made things a lot harder for me, and it threw the balance off quite a bit, so we tried to create a line of robots to prevent that from happening.

Imagine a gleaming metal orb that can take on the form of a Terminator with more bulk, and less visible wiring. Emotionless, merciless, and they’ll do whatever they can to prevent inter-dimensional travel for EVERYONE. Neutra and myself included.

They have an arsenal of gadgets, various weapons ranging from semi-automatic weapons, to Titanium Saw-blades. They can take almost all forms of magical attack, although they can’t deal out any of it. Oh, and they’re self-replicating.

Good news though: They only target beings who HAVE been traveling. Then they imprison them so that they can't do it again, and preserve the timestream, as per their usual excuse. And they can’t travel themselves, although there have been rumors that they’ve been working on a method of allowing them minimal dimension hopping skills.

Well, there’s almost no chance of them making it to Equestria, or any of the worlds I’ve been to. I’ve encountered them only a few times, but they’re really persistent buggers. Even if they make it to someplace like Equestria, there’s no one for them to attack except for me or Doctor Whooves. Perhaps Derpy.

These are the basics of the Log. Whenever something new comes in, or is about to come in, I’ll make sure I update it. Never know what I’ll see in a vision, or if Ivy or any of my other friends will record something good.

Sans Souci.

Sean B, Nathan Traveler, and Omnius

FAQ 1 - Milestone

FAQ Special #1:

Milestone

Hey there fellow readers and writers! I’m sorry about the long wait for this, but some things came up, and I had to deal with them. Please don’t ask or comment about this, as said things are extremely private.

So, as the vast majority of all of you know, this is the first FAQ chapter, in which you all got the chance to ask me, the author, a few questions, and I would take the time to go through and answer them. You guys are awesome, and pretty much the reason that I kept writing this story, so now it’s time for me to start paying you back! Let’s clear up any confusion, or just satisfy your curiosity, shall we?

If your question isn’t on here, I apologize.

Alright, so let’s start with the most commonly asked question:

Q: How did you come up with Omnius, and why did you start writing this story?

A: Well, to be honest, I’ve had the idea of “Omnius” for a few years now. Originally, he was a character that I finally finished creating for a long-dead Role Playing site that me and my friends were a part of, and I figured that he was perfect for this as well. Yes, I gave him most of my personality traits, such as my love of coke, my unwillingness to let my friends be sad, and my sense of humor, and occasional temper. Torrentican, Jenna, Neutra, and The Lord of The Land also hail from the same website, but The Lord of The Land and Gordon were created by someone else.

Now, I decided to write this because I wanted to try my hand at writing. I had already used writing as a method of stress/emotional relief, as it let me vent whenever something bugged me, and as Microsoft Word constantly bugs me with spelling and grammar corrections, which sort of helped me improve my writing. So, I took a leap of faith, and wrote out the first few drafts of my story. Then, I posted it online, and the rest is history.

Q: How did you become a Brony?

A: My friend (the same one who created Gordon and The Lord of The Land) and I were looking up pictures of funny video-game related stuff, and I saw one involving the Pinkius Pieacus. I asked my friend if he knew anything about it, and he explained the concept of Bronyism to me. I’ll admit it: I laughed. Then summer comes along, and I’m BORED OUT OF MY MIND. I decide, “What the hell?” and watch the show on YouTube. Fifteen minutes in, and I’ve already texted my friend, saying, “Damn you...I watched it and I like it.”

His response: “Welcome to the Herd.”

Q:  Where did you get the idea for this story?

A: So after I read a few stories, I thought that since I was an okay author, I would try and write my own. I thought about it for a moment, and Omnius just popped into my head. Anyways, I decided that Omnius would be a perfect start, as I know about his personality and what drives him, thus lessening the risk of “OMG, what do I do now?” blocks.

Q: What is the average flight speed of a coconut laden Equestrian Swallow?

A: Well that depends on a certain amount of factors, for example, is the coconut full, or not? Is it in season? Is the swallow fully grown? And what of the wind conditions? Honestly, how can I answer a question like that with only those details?

Q: Are you planning on writing chapters for all of the episodes?

A: Yes. Right now, I just decided that you guys would choose, while I occasionally threw in a plot-buildup chapter to allow for voting time. I will come back to defeated chapters later on, but for now, you guys get to choose.

Q: What would you do for a Klondike bar?

A: I’d suffer through the Super Mario Bros. Movie for one of those delicious frozen squares of heaven. I’d play E.T for the Atari for one of them!

Q: Did Jenna die right before Omnius came to Equestria?

A: Yes. The voice he heard right after she died was actually Princess Celestia. That’s also why he screamed his trademark: “GAAAAAAAHHHHH!” He was falling. Again.

Q: What multi-verse theory do you use?

A: It’s a little complicated, but basically, if it’s been thought of, or has been imagined, it will probably exist. Like a fork in the road, almost. The place where the roads diverge is where a different choice created an entirely new road of possibilities. As The Traveler, Omnius has the special gift of being able to double back on those paths, and explore every single one, even as another is being created.

Q: How do magnets work?

A: Ask Magneto. He’s the Master of Magnetism, not me!

Q: If Omnius can learn anything, why hasn’t he learned how to “Un-make” Torrentican?

A: Because that would create a massive power vacuum that would possibly destroy all of existence. Bad idea. That, and Omnius is a GOOD guy. He doesn’t like the idea of possibly killing something, although he’s done it a few times before.

Q: Why does Omnius have such bad luck with lightning?

A: That’s actually my fault. See, I have bad luck with static electricity (it’s claimed the lives of three of my video game

controllers now), so I figured that it might be funny to have a small recurring joke.

Q: How long has Omnius been Traveling?

A: In the words of the Medic, “I HAVE NO IDEA!”

Q: How many times has Omnius encountered the Traveler of Neutrality, and has she ever turned things on him?

A: Several, and yes, it’s happened a few times, most notably with the Cataclysm from the Dragonlance series.

Q: Were there any other Travelers before Omnius, Torrentican, and Neutra?

A: No, they are the only three. Remember: Time and Space are NOT relative.

Q: Are you ever gonna finish your Looney Tunes crossover?

A: Yes, I just need to work out a few kinks. I hope to update it soon...

Q: Since one of Omnius’ weapons in his “Traveler’s Blade” is the Keyblade, does that mean he went to the Kingdom Hearts universe? And will we see other forms of it?

A: Yeah, it was actually the first universe he went to. Sora, Donald, and Goofy were the first ones he met, as he landed near them when they were fighting the Guard Armor heartless. His sword was still just that back then, a simple unbreakable/impossible-to-loose sword, but once he learned about the Keyblade, he added it to his blade, and voila’.

And yes, there will be other forms. Be patient.

Q: Is Omnius still human?

A: Yeah. Even though he’s got all of these powers, and all of those abilities, he still sees himself as a human, who can make mistakes, and who has a love of all things soda-related.

Q: About that…WHY is he obsessed with soda? And food?

A: Well, after you survive a few wars where you see people starving, or maybe go through a poverty stricken neighborhood, you tend to get a finer appreciation of these things. Plus, he never knows when his next meal is going to be, so he takes them when he can get them, although he still tries to remain healthy.

Q: Omnius can learn anything and everything. Okay, so is that true for the other Travelers?

A: Yes. How do you think Torrentican knows how to use the Satsui-No-Hado? Wait, that hasn’t been mentioned yet…um, spoilers?

Q: Could Omnius learn how to create Shadow-Stalkers? And could Torrentican learn how to use Auras?

A: Both of those could happen, but Torrentican supposedly sees no point in it, as he has no qualms about using dark magic or immoral technology to up all of his powers, and Omnius just doesn’t like the idea of having minions to do his work for him.

Q: Will the Traveler of Neutrality and her “Disciples of the Scales” appear again?

A: Yes, but not for a little bit.

Q: Where did the catchphrase, “It’s good to be The Traveler” come from?

A: Well, first I wanted to come up with a really badass catchphrase that was original, and would encompass what Omnius was. So the two things that popped into my head were, “Side of Good” and “Traveler.” I put two and two together, and we have his line!

Q: Okay, Travelers are immortal. Can they retire though, and let another person take their place?

A: No, once they were chosen, they were permanently chosen. No backing down now. Don’t worry, they have their Gods and friends to help keep their morale up.

Q: What is a Disciple of the Scales?

A: Basically, Neutra chooses a person who is neutral, be it Chaotic or Lawful, and helps them secure a position of power. They then use their power and influence to sort of nudge things in the right direction.

Q: What are “the Scales”?

A: The metaphorical way of referring to the great balance between Good, Evil, and Neutrality. If one is too heavily in power, the scales fall over, and everything falls into destruction, hence the reason that all three Travelers have had to work together at least twice now.

Q: What does God look like?

A: Which one?

Q: Are there any other stories with Omnius that you’ve written?

A: No, there aren’t. I’ll be honest though, this is actually the first story I’ve ever seriously written. Like, actually kept up with updates, and a plot, so that’s why I keep wanting to hear feedback and such. I never expected this to get to where it is now, but wow!

Q: Are you planning on any other Omnius’s Travels stories?

A: I have been entertaining thoughts of a Phoenix Wright story, “Turnabout Traveler!” a Marvel VS Capcom 3 one, “Crossover Chaos” and an Avengers one, “Traveling Guardian VS Traveling Conqueror.” I have a few more ideas, but that’s all they are for now: Ideas.

Although, as soon as I’m done with the 3-chapter arc I’m planning, and maybe at least ONE short story, I’m planning a spin-off/sequel to this…which will be very shocking, to say the least.

Q: Chimicherry, or Cherrychonga?

A: Deadpool, I think I’ll let you answer this one: “CHIMICHERRYCHONGA!”

The Merc with the mouth has spoken.

Q: Does Omnius have any irrational fears? You know, like how Indy is scared of snakes, or how Firewall hates tarantulas?

A: Bears. He’s fine with constellation bears, but actual grizzly bears? He likes to keep Zangief nearby at all times for those encounters. I had actually planned a very hilarious scene for “Winter Wrap-Up”, in which Fluttershy asks him to wake up the hibernating bears. Needless to say, it doesn’t go well for The Traveler.

Q: Will we see more of Gordon? Or the Lord of the Land?

A: That is a very distinct possibility, as Gordon would get along great with Twilight.

Q: Who’s awesome?

A: You’re awesome. Gimme a high-five!

Q: Who is your favorite pony?

A: Don’t have one. To be honest, it used to be Fluttershy, but I then decided that they all had that little special something to them, making them all equal to me. The way I see it, Fluttershy is the most adorable, Pinkie is the most hilarious, Rainbow Dash is the coolest, Applejack is the most relatable, Twilight is the most adorkable, and Rarity is the popular, yet kind, person everyone wishes they knew.

Q: Where did the idea for the Dark Aura and Obliterator Aura come from?

A: With the Dark Aura, I borrowed a few elements from a video game called, “The Suffering: Ties that Bind,” in which the main dude has an “Insanity Mode” where he transforms into a raging beast. One of the attacks he could do was the chain thing, only with more gore and “HOLY CRAP THAT HAPPENED!” moments.

As for the Obliterator Aura, I got the idea from Anti-Form Sora, from Kingdom Hearts II, and added some elements of Venom, from the Spider-Man comics, as well. You’ll see what I mean later on.

Q: What’s the Berserker Beast Aura? You mentioned that once before.

A: That I did observant questioner! Okay, so picture a Viking, or a Barbarian. Have you ever heard those stories of how they could go into a frenzy, ignoring any wound they had, while dealing out mondo property damage and death?

Boom. Just take away more control, add in super-strength, and the ability to use roars as a lethal weapon, and there you have it. Oh, and lots and lots of Bloodlust.

Q: Are there any other “Dark” or “Evil” Auras?

A: That will be answered soon. Be patient.

Q: Why doesn’t Omnius use weapons from other video games, or worlds, besides his Traveler’s Blade and Boomstick?

A: I never said he didn’t. Those are just his standard ones, alongside an old revolver, a Winchester repeater, The Staff of Magus, and occasionally, his trusty Disc of Tron.

Q: Does Omnius have a theme song?

A: Actually, something that I like to do as a hobby (aside from writing), is try and find music to fit all kinds of situations and people. So I have found a few songs that would work for Omnius as a theme song. The first three I can think of are 1) Kashmir ~ Led Zeppelin. 2) Live and Learn ~ Crush 40. And 3) Have a Nice Day ~ Bon Jovi.

There are a lot of others I could pull in, but those are just the first three.

Q: Why does Omnius use a Revolver and Double-barreled shotgun, when there are a lot of other guns with better clip/magazine sizes, and better firepower?

A: Because of that. That means he has to make every shot count, and make sure that he can find a good weak-point.

Q: Will Omnius ever get to use the Mega-Buster part of his Traveler’s Blade?

A: Yes.

Q: Why does Fimfiction have chapters that aren’t on Fanfiction?

A: Erm, well…mostly because the story that was crossover’d wasn’t on fanfiction. I didn’t want to have to bug others by making them have to read an entirely new story, but I still highly recommend reading them if you get a chance. Seriously, if you’re looking for a new story to read while you wait for updates, go check them out!

Q: Speaking of those crossover chapters, where’d the idea to do those come from?

A: Well, a few weeks back, I sent k12314 (the author of “How Did I get Here?” and its sequel, “Le Retour”) a link to my story, asking if he could go over it and tell me what he thought. He told me he liked it, and even gave me a shout out in one of the chapters. Anyways, so a few days after that, when his story gets to the point where there’s a fiasco involving wibbly-wobely, timey-wimey stuff, he sends me a message, with the idea of Omnius coming over there, and helping out.

The crossover was a very hilarious success, involving what I now consider one of the funniest chase-scenes in all of ponydom, and it is still continuing somewhat. No spoilers though!

Now for the “Living the Dream” (written by kickass222urmom) crossover, I like to think that it wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for Purple Blaze (user who created a character for said story). See, I commented on his story, saying how I thought it was pretty funny, and hoped that the author would get out of the hospital soon (check “Living the Dream” for details). The author replied to my comment, and Purple Blaze recommended that he read my story. Kickass did, and ended up liking it, much to my surprise. So later, Purple Blaze’s OC character ends up on the wrong end of a spell (amazingly NOT cast by Twilight Sparkle) and ends up teleporting away. At Blaze’s request, we had him drop off into my story, and the result was the crossover chapters.

Whew! That answer was a doozy. Sorry if the explanation was long, but I just wanted to get out the story behind the stories (story-ception).

Q: If you were a muffin, what flavor would you be?

A: I’d like to think of myself as a Banana Nut Muffin. Sweet, good, and completely nuts!

Q: How fun is it to write and fleshed out Omni's personality?

A: You have no idea! Basically, I just made Omni’s personality the same basics as my own: Semi-witty, always willing to fight for friends, and short-tempered when it comes to certain matters.

Q: Where did the idea for the Auras and Shadow-Stalkers come from?

A: Well, for the Auras, I got the idea from a mixture of Kingdom Hearts II (Sora’s Drive forms) Ben Ten’s omnitrix (The ability to transform into different forms with unique strengths and weaknesses), and some ideas of my own I threw into the mix.

For the Shadow-Stalkers, I just figured that Torrentican is the embodiment of evil, right? And as he’s also a subtle and cunning villain, he’d need minions to help him carry out his plans. He wouldn’t ever truly rely on others, as he can’t trust them, so he would make his own, using his specialized magic.

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That about does it for the first FAQ chapter! A second one will be added later, if more questions arise!

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Hey, I’m just gonna throw in one last minute thing here.

I never really thought that this story would get to where it is now. I mean, I only thought that I would only post like, maybe eight chapters max, but now look at it. According to fimficiton, this story has over 200 people tracking it, 520+ comments, and around 45,000 views! That’s not even counting the fanfiction side of this equation, and it just completely amazes me every time I think about it.

Please note, this was written as of...um...a lot earlier.

Man, I just…Wow. I’ve even gotten a few messages from some of you, saying, “This is a great story, don’t stop writing!” This story wouldn’t have gotten to this point if it hadn’t been for you viewers. Honestly, you all have no idea how grateful I am to all of you. Thank you all for the reviews, and for sticking around to see the next update.

I hope that there isn’t any surprise “hiatus” again anytime soon, because I felt awful about not being able to write and update my stories. It really makes me happy to write these, not only because they’re fun to write, but because I get to make others laugh! That’s one of the best feelings ever to me, getting to make others feel good, so when I couldn’t write for this, it just tore me up! I promise that the next time something like this is about to happen, I’ll give you all a heads-up, and the reasons behind it!

(Please don’t ask me the reasons, or comment on them, because those reasons are extremely private, and I’m not exactly at liberty to discuss them.)

So now, I leave you with a final quote:

It’s good to be The Traveler!

Christmas Special: Home is Where The Hearth Is

Christmas Special:

Home is where the Hearth is

(Takes place after ‘Hearth’s Warming Eve’)

“Are you sure you want to spend Hearth’s Warming Eve all by yourself?” Twilight asked Omnius as they and the rest of their friends left the train station.

“Yeah,” He answered simply, shaking the snow off of his mane. He said goodbye to the mares, and headed down the path back to his house.

Omnius had been like this ever since Twilight had asked him what holidays on other worlds were like. At first, he had been more than happy to answer her questions, but then she asked him what he liked to do during them. Did he have any family he would go and spend time with? A dark cloud had passed over him, and he wouldn’t say anything.

While Twilight was thinking about this, Applejack interrupted her thoughts, saying, “Twilight? You alright there?”

Twilight nodded her head, and said, “Oh, yes, I’m fine. I’m just worried about Omnius.”

“He has been acting rather strange recently, hasn’t he?” Rarity mused. “Why just the other day, he came into my shop and asked for the strangest set of clothes that I’ve ever had to make. I was more than happy to oblige him, but after I gave him the clothes, he left without a single word. It was quite unusual, especially for him. He normally says something like, ‘Because it suits me,’ or some such thing.”

“Yeah. Did you notice that his house is the only one in Ponyville that doesn’t have any decorations?” Rainbow Dash said, scratching her multicolored mane.

It was true. While all of Ponyville was decorated in colorful lights, and banners, Omnius’s house was left entirely untouched. Even the snow seemed to just emphasize its difference from the rest of Ponyville.

“Hm…Rarity, what clothes did he get from you?” Twilight asked, trying to decipher what was wrong with Omnius.

Rarity closed her eyes for a moment, and answered, “I believe it was an oversized red coat, with white trimmings, and a pair of red pants.”

“Well what’s so weird about that?” Pinkie Pie asked, tilting her head.

“They weren’t at all his size!” The fashionista exclaimed. “In fact, I’d suspect that they would be too big for even Big Macintosh to wear!”

Fluttershy decided to speak up then, saying, “He also asked me if I knew anything about taking care of reindeer. I told him how to properly feed and groom them, and when I tried to ask him why he wanted to know, he just ran off.”

“What about you Pinkie?” Twilight asked the energetic bundle of pony. “Did you notice anything weird?”

“He’s been getting a lot of milk and cookies from Sugarcube corner! Which is weird, because normally he gets things like muffins, or cakes, or sometimes he’ll get some of those really yummy strawberry filled cakes that are covered in frosting! He really likes those! I also saw him at the park, and he was asking Dinky Doo what she thought that she would like for-” Pinkie rambled on, before a cyan colored hoof stopped her.

All of the ponies tried to figure out what was wrong with their Traveler friend. He didn’t act this strange during Nightmare Night, and was actually one of the ones that helped to setup the festival in town. He had also done his best to get Luna in on the fun, and was one of the only ponies, besides Twilight, who didn’t run from her when she showed up (although when she spoke in the Royal Speaking voice, he had countered with something like, “FUS RO DAH!”).

“Why are you so worried about him anyways Twilight?” Applejack asked. “I hadn’t really noticed anything was wrong until you started talking about it.”

Twilight cleared her throat, and said, “I asked him what he did for the holidays.”

“Well I don’t see what’s so wrong about that!”

“And I asked him if he had any family that he would go and spend time with.”

Applejack winced, and had to resist the urge to face-hoof. She loved Twilight to death, but for being the smartest pony in Ponyville, she could really do some dumb things. “Twilight, I’m meanin’ no offense or nothin’, but that wasn’t a real smart thing to ask him.”

“Why?” Twilight asked, genuinely confused.

“Think about it Twi. He’s so old, he don’t know how old he is,” Applejack said, attempting to explain it to her bookworm friend.

“Okay…but what does that-” Twilight’s eyes widened, as her mind connected the puzzle pieces. “Oh…I should have known. Poor Omnius.”

“What?” Pinkie asked, looking between the two mares.

“If Omnius is as old as he claims he is, then all of his family must have passed away by now. He’s all alone…” Twilight said. Applejack nodded, glad that Twi had realized it.

All of the Ponies were somber, as they looked in the direction Omnius had walked off in. Rarity tried to think of what it would be like if she couldn’t ever see her parents, or her friends for that matter, for the holidays, and shuddered. It wasn’t something that she wanted to experience anytime soon.

“So that means that he doesn’t have anypony to spend Hearth’s Warming with?” Pinkie asked, frowning. “That’s not right! Omnius has done so much for us! Why don’t we throw him a party?”

“That’s your answer to everything!” Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes.

“Actually, that might be a good idea!” Twilight said, her eyes sparkling. “Gather round girls! I have a plan!”

All six of the ponies huddled together, while Twilight explained her plan.

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“Son of a bitch!” I swore, clutching my hand.

Slim shrugged apologetically, and he picked up the book he had dropped by accident.

“It’s fine, but be more careful! I want this to be the best Christmas- I mean, Hearth’s Warming Eve, or Day, ever!” I said, pulling on a pair of black mittens.

“Ivy!” I called out, wrapping a black belt around my coat. “Is the list finished yet?”

The Silver screen floated over to me, and folded itself into the form of a petite young woman with shoulder length hair. “Nice list is now 100% complete, and has been double checked for accuracy. Reminder: Thank Princess Celestia and Princess Luna for use of their knowledge,” She said, clasping her hands together in front of her.

“Already did,” I replied simply, pulling on a pair of boots. “How do I look?” I asked, posing for the two.

Slim gave me silent thumbs-up, and Ivy smiled. “Very jolly sir.”

“Thanks,” I said, too distracted to tell Ivy not to call me ‘sir’. “Is the sleigh loaded?”

“Yes.”

“Slim, are the reindeer prepped for launch?” I asked, shifting into unicorn form. I shook off the stinging sensation, and called up an Aura to help me fit inside of the massive coat.

Slim gave me another thumbs-up, and I nodded.

“Good thing Santa was kind enough to loan them to us for tonight.” I then grinned mischievously, and pointed to a spot above Slim and Ivy. They looked up, and saw a familiar looking sprig of green…

“Mistletoe,” I said, already leaving The Vault.

I laughed in a jolly voice, as I heard the sound of metal knees nervously clanging together, and the sound of Ivy stuttering. Me and my Christmas spirit…

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I looked around, and made sure that the area was clear of anypony who might accidentally see me. Once I was satisfied that no one could see me, I levitated a small silver whistle to my lips, and puffed on it three times.

The sound of bells reached my ears, and I grinned.

“Ho ho ho!” I laughed, as three reindeer landed from their flight in front of me. I hitched them up to a red sleigh that had a bulging red velvet sack inside of it, and grabbed the reins with my teeth.

The Reindeer looked at me, and I said, “We have to wait until the sun sets! Then we can go do our holiday thing!”

The lead reindeer rolled his eyes, and turned to face the strip of land I had cleared for the occasion. As the sun sank below the horizon, I felt my body hum with energy. I shook the reins with my teeth, and called out, “On Dasher, on Prancer, on Comet and...Okay, that’s all of you. H’yah!”

The Reindeer took off, slowly ascending into the sky, towing me and the sleigh with them.

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As we flew above Ponyville, I looked at the list Slim had conveniently duct-taped to the seat next to me, and skimmed through it. My horn glowed with a red aura that was peppered with flecks of white, and a delicately wrapped present floated out in front of me.

“Little Sweetie Bell wanted her older sister to get a new rare gemstone,” I muttered to myself, as I lowered the present to the ground, where it landed gently in front of the Carousel Boutique.

My horn glowed, and I felt the strain of having to lift multiple things at once start taking its toll on me. My eyelids grew heavier, and I had to fight the urge to fall asleep in the sleigh. I reached into a side pocket, and pulled out a cookie that was loaded with chocolate chips. I bit into it, and I could feel the rush of sugar energy surge through me.

“Note to self: Find comfortable place to crash for inevitable sugar coma,” I laughed, spraying the front of the sleigh with bits of crumbs.

All night long, I flew throughout the skies of Ponyville, levitating presents onto the doorsteps of the slumbering ponies. With the help of the children of Ponyville, I had made sure that I knew what everypony wanted, and had made sure that nopony else had gotten them that present (It would be hella awkward if I accidentally gave them a present they had already gotten. Especially since I’m covering for the Big Guy on this world).

“The things I do for these worlds,” I said in a jolly tone, stroking my beard thoughtfully.

Once the sun had started to rise, I looked over the sleigh, and made sure that all of the presents landed in their right places. Once I was satisfied with how everything had turned out, I used magic to amplify my voice.

“HO HO HO! Happy Hearth’s Warming Day!” I called out, making sure that my voice was loud enough to wake everypony up.

While a few ponies opened their door, looking groggy and irritated, most of them looked happy (and slightly confused) when they saw that somepony had left them all presents on their doorsteps.

I flew off, laughing my ass off.

“It’s good to be The Traveler!”

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When we landed at my house, I was ready to pass out. I had run out of Pinkie’s cookies two hours ago, and the sugar crash was hitting me with a sledgehammer.

I stumbled out of the sleigh, and dismissed the Aura. “Bad idea,” I wearily said, as I slipped and fell, face first, onto the ground. I shifted into human form, and pushed myself up.

“Great job you three. Now go home, get some rest…I know that’s what I’ll be doing,” I chuckled, walking into my house.

I stumbled through the door, and forced my feet to carry me up the stairs. “Stupid…sugar coma,” I mumbled through numb lips. I made it to the bed, and I managed to crawl into it, pulling the blankets over me.

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Twilight Sparkle was awoken by a loud booming voice, which called out, “HAPPY HEARTH’S WARMING DAY!”

She blearily rubbed her eyes, and after wrapping herself up in a warm scarf, walked outside, where her assistant, Spike, was already tearing open a brightly wrapped box.

“Spike? Where did these presents come from?” She asked, looking at the small pile of boxes that was in front of her.

“I don’t know! I just woke up, and they were right there. We’re not the only ones who got them though,” Spike replied, smiling widely at the perfectly polished Ruby that was in the box in front of him.

“We aren’t?”

“Nope! It looks like everypony in Ponyville got presents! Oh boy, would you look at this Ruby!” Spike said, licking his lips. He took a huge bite out of it, and moaned. “This is the best gemstone I’ve ever had!”

Twilight then turned her attention to the present in front of her, and she magically unwrapped it, making sure that she didn’t rip the paper. Her eyes widened, as she lifted a thick heavy book in front of her.

“Starswirl the Bearded’s Autobiography?” She exclaimed, a huge smile on her face. She then frowned, and said to Spike, “But how? You’re the only one who knew that I wanted this!”

Spike shrugged, and continued to eat his gem.

“Hm…Well, it’s a mystery we’ll have to solve later! Come on! Operation: ‘Home is where the Hearth is’ is ago!” Twilight exclaimed, lifting Spike onto her back.

“Why are we calling it that?” Spike grumbled.

“I thought that Omnius might find it funny. We are doing this for him, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

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It felt like I had just fallen asleep, when I heard somepony pounding on my door.

“Arrrrrrrrrrgh,” I groaned, waking up. “It’s always when I NEED to sleep, isn’t it?”

I shifted into Earth Pony form, and shook out my mane. “Hold on, Imma comin’!” I hollered, stumbling down the stairs. I opened the door, and was surprised to see Applejack, who had a worried look on her face.

“A.J?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, uh, you see, it’s uh, oh! It’s Fluttershy! She, uh, needs your help with her critters!” She said nervously, her eyes shifting.

I raised my eyebrow, but failed my bluff check. “Alrighty then, I’ll go see if I can help her out then.”

I dashed off down the road, zipping up the blue vest Rarity had given me a while ago.

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“Phew…” Applejack let out a sigh of relief. “I cain’t believe he bought that. Alright girls, the coast is clear!” She hollered out.

Five ponies stepped out from behind the trees, each wearing a set of saddlebags that were stuffed with holiday decorations, and sweets.

Twilight grinned triumphantly, and said, “Phase one of ‘Operation: Home is where the Hearth is’ is complete. Rainbow Dash, start Phase two!”

Rainbow Dash saluted, and flew off, a rainbow trail glistening behind her. Twilight opened her saddlebags, and levitated strings of tinsel over the doorway of Omnius’s house.

“Why did you have me tell him Fluttershy needed help?” Applejack asked Twilight. “You know that I cain’t lie to save mah own life!”

“Because Omnius doesn’t notice much when he’s woken up early,” Twilight said, smiling. “I knew that since it’s a holiday, he would definitely plan on sleeping in, and look! I was right.”

Applejack shook her head, but let the matter go.

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I reached Fluttershy’s cottage, and knocked on the door. “Fluttershy? You in there? Applejack said that you needed my help with the critters?”

Silence.

“Fluttershy?”

More silence.

Frowning, I looked at the doorstep, and said to myself, “Her presents are gone. She must have already opened them…but where is she?”

While I tried to puzzle this out, I heard Rainbow Dash call out, “Hey! Omnius!”

“Hey Dash,” I said, turning to look at her. “Hey, have you seen Fluttershy? A.J said that she needed my help with one of her animals.”

“Oh yeah! She’s over at Sweet Apple Acres. Turns out some badger has been digging up some of the fields,” Rainbow said, gesturing towards the direction of the farms.

“Why would she need my help with a badger though?”

“Uhhh, she said it’s a pretty mean one. She can’t get close enough to calm it down!” Rainbow said, hesitating slightly.

I groaned mentally. Sweet Apple Acres was all the way on the other side of town, and I had just gotten to the cottage. “My legs are gonna hate me tomorrow. Alright, I’ll head over there. Would you mind flying ahead to let them know I’m coming?” I asked, already taking off down the road.

“Sure thing! I’ll be there in ten seconds flat!” Rainbow Dash promised, speeding off ahead of me.

I picked up my speed, and tried to hurry. I would have used an Aura to get me there faster, but I was still a little tired from the late night Santa gig, and I didn’t want to risk passing out.

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“The decorations are complete!” Twilight said enthusiastically, marking it off of her check list. “Now we can move onto Phase three: Party! Rainbow Dash should have pointed Omnius to the farm by now, so I’ll just go and wait for him.”

“Uh, are you sure it was a good idea to distract him like this?” Fluttershy asked after she had set up a large bowl filled with punch. “I mean, won’t he be mad when he finds out that there isn’t anything wrong?”

“Yeah! Remember that one time when me and Dashie switched his soda with a glass that was filled with Rainbows?” Pinkie asked, giggling. “Oh, was he mad! But then he realized it was a prank, and he started laughing with us!”

“I still wish I coulda seen the look on his face,” Applejack snickered. “You only licked it that one time we went to Cloudsdale, and he actually downed that entire glass!”

All five of the ponies laughed, and Rainbow Dash chose that moment to enter. “He’s on his way to the farm! Is everything finished here?”

“Yep. Now I just have to teleport to Sweet Apple Acres, and let him know!” Twilight said, her horn already glowing. With a bright flash of light, she was gone.

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“Legs…burning…need…food,” I panted, as I leaned against the side of Applejack’s house. “But I made it…”

I wobbled over to the door, and knocked on it weakly. The door opened, revealing Big Mac, who was wearing a Christmas wreath (Or Hearth’s Warming wreath) instead of the normal plow he was seen in.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming,” He said, chewing on his usual sprig of wheat.

“You too,” I panted. “Hey, is A.J home? I heard that she and Fluttershy were having trouble with a badger, or something like that.”

“Nope. In fact, she told me that she was headed to your place to help out the others with something,” He replied, scratching his head. “Hey, do you know anything about them presents that appeared on everypony’s doorstep this morning?”

“Uh, no? Why do you ask?” I said distractedly, as I tried to figure out why Applejack would have lied to me.

“Well, it’s just that this morning, I heard some feller holler out Happy Hearth’s Warming, and found that somepony had given me a present. I’m not ungrateful or nothing, but I just wanted to say thanks to the pony who left it.”

“Uh, yeah. I’ll let you know if I find out about that. Welp, I guess I’m just gonna head out now. Tell Apple Bloom I said hi,” I said, stumbling to the path.

“Alrighty. Bye Omnius.”

“See ya.”

I started down the path, and thought to myself, “Ow, my aching legs…”

With a reluctant sigh, I took off down the path, running as fast as my burning legs would carry me. “There had better be a good reason for all this,” I muttered to myself.

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“Bad news girls. We may have a slight problem,” Twilight said, reappearing in front of The Traveler’s house.

“What’s wrong? And why isn’t Omnius with you? I thought you were going to meet him at the farm!” Rarity said, looking around, as if Twilight was hiding Omnius.

“Apparently Omnius already left the farm…and he’s headed this way!” Twilight said, running inside.

“But that’s impossible!” Rainbow exclaimed. “There’s no way he could’ve gotten to Sweet Apple Acres before I got here!”

“Wait, I just thought about something,” Applejack said, smacking her face. “I forgot about the hill.”

“What?” The other ponies turned their confused gazes upon Applejack, and she grimaced.

“Well see, there’s this hill that Apple Bloom likes to go sledding on during the winter, since it’s all covered in ice. Sometimes she can get to goin’ so fast, that even Rainbow might have a tough time trying to keep up.”

“I doubt it,” Rainbow Dash mumbled.

Applejack ignored Dash, and continued, saying, “Well since Omnius had to go that way, what if he used the hill to speed himself up?”

All of the ponies were silent, as they considered what A.J had just said.

“He’s not going to be happy when he gets here,” Fluttershy gulped.

“Don’t worry. What are the chances that Omnius will be angry?” Twilight said, trying to mask her own worry.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

“I…am...pissed,” I gasped out angrily, glaring at the path that lead to my house. “I’ve been up all night, been woken up WAY too early, and now I’m on a wild goose chase!”

I used my anger to stave off the burning in my legs, and turned the corner to my house-

-and stopped dead in my tracks, as I took in my house’s appearance.

“…What.”

I was so shocked, that I had completely forgotten my anger.  I stumbled to the door, and, in a daze, opened it.

“Surprise!” Six enthusiastic ponies shouted. “Happy Hearth’s Warming Day!”

“What the heck?” I asked, stunned.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming,” Twilight said, wrapping her forelegs around me in a hug. “We knew that you were planning on spending today alone, but-“

“But we know that nopony should have to spend a holiday alone!” Pinkie said, ladling out a cup of punch for me.

I accepted the glass gratefully, and felt tears start to well up in my eyes. “But why?” I asked, still shocked that someone (or somepony) would do all this for me.

“You’ve done so much for everypony here,” Fluttershy said softly. “We just thought that we should say thanks, and let you know that we care.”

That did it. Tears started streaming down my face, and Pinkie said sadly, “You don’t like it?”

I shook my head, grinning. “No Pinkie. I love it…Happy Hearth’s Warming, everypony…Thank you so much.”

We all hugged each other, and I thought to myself, “I was wrong. I’m not alone…”

A warm glow spread throughout my body, chasing away my fatigue.

“I have my friends.”

Reminiscence: A Look Back At The Travels - [EDITED}

Hello everyone. Now...as we close this door on the first portion of Omnius' misadventures in Equestria, and prepare to move onto a new world, I just wanted to take a few moments to say thanks to a few people.

Thanks to my editors, Shadow Horizons, and DrahcirAloer, for taking the time to actually go over this for me. Now people can actually read this, and I can have the peace of mind that it looks decent. Hope you can stand to go over everything else I have planned for these adventures!

Thanks to k12314, for glancing at my story, and saying it was good. That crossover we wrote did wonders for this story, and my confidence. Here's to more shenanigans in the future.

Thanks to Purple Blaze, for saying I am a "Comedy Master". If you remember what I mean by that, awesome. If not, sans souci.

Thank'ee Kindly to Shadow Breeze. Thanks for letting me talk your ear off, and the picture of me in the little featured box. That right there made my day.

Curse you Rust, for not only getting me addicted to the word "Badassery" (I don't care if the spell check says it's wrong, IT'S RIGHT DAMN IT!), but for the fact that you have now given me a challenge in the reference humor department.

Thanks to Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective for having a kickass soundtrack, and the perfect music for me to listen to while I write this farewell.

Youtube Video

Most importantly, to all of you. Words cannot express the gratitude I feel towards all of you. For actually reading the story, and for all the words of encouragement. To me, that's worth more than I can even begin to describe.

Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to take a few moments to...well, to look back at The Travels. I know it's not the biggest story, but I feel like it's reached that point where I feel like I have to say something to honor it, and the path I've Traveled. A blog post wouldn't feel right for this.

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This is it folks. The end of the first Travels story. Why am I ending it now, though? Why don't I wait until after every episode to mark this as completed, though? Why don't I write out every episode of season one?

Well. Actually. Maybe that's just it. That's why we watch TV episodes in seasons. So we see something cool, and we're given a break from it. Then when the new season comes around, we're stoked up, and ready to see the shining new adventures of our heroes!

But I digress. This entire show, with The Travels...this has been wonderful. My first story, and even with all the mistakes, the criticism (well deserved in most cases) and everything else, I would never trade this for anything in the world. Because of this, I've bettered myself as an author, and as a showman. So here's to the Travels, and to the stories to come!

Who knows? Maybe once I'm done with a couple other projects, I'll get around to writing Omnius' Travels: Return to Equestria.

This is the fork in the road, my friends. The place where we part ways, and go about our lives. They will cross again, no doubt about that. With all of the stuff I've gotten away with now, I've just gotten more egotistical and adventurous, and become too damn stubborn to walk just one path! No...I'm walkin' them all.

So until we meet again!

~Traveler Out!

My Little Traveler

Prologue

Fiction.

That’s always been a word that I’ve had trouble accepting. Sure, it may seem like it was “made up” for us, but in another world, another universe, or another reality, it was a real event. You might read a book and see that in it one of your favorite characters died. That probably made you a bit sad, but you probably told yourself that it wasn’t real; that it was just a story. Try telling that to the friends and family of that now dead character. I’ve had to do that a few times, and it’s one of the worst feelings ever. Like I said, in another world, in another place, it happened or is going to happen.

In other words, to dumb it down for you folks just scratching your head, it means this: If it’s been thought about, there’s another universe, and reality, where it happens, and in those realities the thoughts and dreams of the people who live there create other realities, and it keeps going from there, endlessly. If you’re still having trouble understanding that, please go to your nearest comic book store, and pick up any type of Marvel comic book or watch some Doctor Who. They are both chock full of alternate realities.

Now let me tell you a story that is true for every reality, time, and universe: There are Gods, Capitol G. There are Gods of Good, Gods of Evil, and Gods of Neutrality for every reality and universe. They watch over their respective universes and realities, and occasionally help out one another with their realms, you know, make sure everything survives. Now, to ensure that each universe's story would survive, each side came together, and decided that they needed a Traveler for each of their sides. Someone who could go to each reality and realm, and do things for their respective side. This would help spread the story to every reality, mostly in the forms of fables, and the collective thoughts of each sentient being would make sure everything survived.

The Gods of Evil chose a man who craved power but didn’t want to become a god. He was ruthless, cold, cunning, and full of anger and spite (a little clichéd, but come on; he IS the chosen one of evil after all). He is one of the darkest, if not one of the most evil, men alive, and his real name is unknown to everyone. He goes by the name of Torrentican (ooooh, scary).

The Gods of Neutrality chose to keep their Traveler a secret to everyone in order to help preserve the balance by having a sort of secret agent that could tip the scales in someone else’s favor. After all, everyone needs some form of an ace up their sleeve, don't they?All that is known of the Traveler is she is female and someone who can change their shape and even their very essence in order to hide their identity.

The Gods of Good, however, chose someone who was different. They chose a simple mortal to be their Traveler. The mortal wasn’t very strong and he wasn’t very smart (take it from me; he ain’t that good looking either). But he had something that the Gods of Good had planned for him from the beginning: The ability to learn. The Boy loved learning and he would devour stories of heroes, listen for hours on end to all kinds of music, and sometimes just sit around and think. The Boy also had something else inside of him, three things to be exact: The earlier mentioned ability to learn, at the core of his being, he was a good person, and, just as important as the other traits, he was a Traveler. In fact, he had been created and chosen from the beginning of his life to be the Traveler for the Gods of Good.

I am that mortal (this is the part where if this story gets to you via T.V or internet, dramatic music plays).

At birth, my parents named me Sean. Ironically enough, it's the Irish way of saying, "God is Gracious".

My official Traveling name, the one that the Gods chose for me, is Omnius. It's Latin for something, but I can't remember it right now.

The name that I use for undercover work and for a nickname (don’t judge me): Nathan Traveler. At least, that's the more commonly used one.

Okay, we got that long and semi-dramatic intro out of the way! Who wants to hear about my adventures in Equestria? More importantly, who just wants to get to the ponies? If you’re still reading this, you hopefully want to! So pull up a comfortable seat, grab a drink, and don’t cut the green wire!

Chapter 1: My Little Traveler.

(Takes place one week before Ep.1 of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

“Gaaaaaaaaah!!!!”  I screamed as I fell from the sky. I felt a brief flash of pain and realized that after I had screamed, (Not like a little girl, mind you, More like a small pre-teen girl) I had hit the ground.

“Why is it that nearly every time I go into a different realm, I end up falling from the sky? I mean, it happens so much that it’s starting to become a cliché!” I ranted at no one in particular, as I pushed my hooves on the ground to pick myself- Wait… Hooves?  What happened to my normal hands? My awesome, tan, five-fingered hands?!

Try to understand something here: As a Traveler, I’m used to the idea of getting a new body for each new reality I go to. I assume the form of the local population so I can blend in, and I can change back to my normal form at anytime. Clothes included…Most of the time. Long story short, it involved a lightning bolt, coca-cola, a rubber chicken, and was a complete disaster. Anyways, I’ve been a human, a dragon, and one time I had been an elf (with a plus five to charisma). But this…this was something else entirely.

I looked around, trying to resist the urge to panic, and saw a crystal blue lake just a few feet from the dirt road I had fallen on. Normally I would have been awed by the peaceful and serene nature of the lake and taken a moment to meditate on it to try feel the chi in the air (In other words, set up a hammock, listen to music, and take a nap). But as I was having an out-of-body experience, or in-new-body experience as it were, I focused on nothing but getting a good look at myself.

“YE GODS!” I yelled as I saw my reflection in the water. “I’m a pony!” I paused and looked closer, before muttering, “And to add insult to injury, I’m kind of cute.”

I had a dark tan coat and a mane that was a dark enough brown to be considered black at first glance. My eyes were still their normal shade of dark brown, and my thick black glasses were in place on top of my muzzle. Snout. Thing. Okay, note to self: Learn local anatomy. Anyway, around my mouth area the fur had darkened, giving the appearance of a small goatee. I let out a sigh of relief at that. See, one of the few things about my appearance that I really like is my beard. It’s like a thicker and darker colored version of Gordon Freeman’s beard (If you don’t know who that is, you lead a sad and pathetic video game free life), and it made me look just a bit cooler. So even in pony form I still had a beard. BOO YA! There’s a silver lining after all!

I then turned to look at the rest of my body (Hey! I’m not vain! You try going to a new universe and getting your body changed to match that of the local population, and see how YOU like it). I had a tail that was the same color as my mane and long enough for the tip to drag against the ground gently. On either side of my flank, there was a familiar looking mark. My logo, an infinity symbol with a sun in one loop, a moon and star in the other, and an hourglass set behind it. Complicated? Yes. Do I wish it were simpler? Sometimes. That symbol has probably caused me more problems than I can count...

“Okay, so here’s what I know so far,” I said to myself, “The local populations of this reality are ponies, they look adorable, and they have weird tattoos on their butts. Note to self: Figure out what they call them and what they mean. What’s next? Chocolate rain?”

Shaking my head vigorously, I made my way slowly to the dirt path, stumbling as I went. Once at the road, I proceeded to examine the ground very thoroughly, because it looked interesting...and definitely not because I had tripped over my own hooves and fallen face first. Honest. I picked myself up off the ground, while getting the feeling that I was going to be doing that a lot for the first few days, and started down the path, trusting in fate to lead me to the heroes of this story.

“This is going to be a long day,” I sighed and kept walking. Trotting. Cantering. Ugh. Stupid Grammar. Me smash later.

“At least it’s not rain-“

Thunder boomed and rain started pouring, cutting me off. I scowled at the sky which had suddenly darkened with charcoal gray storm clouds that were letting loose a torrent of water and briefly wished for mini windshield wipers that could attach to glasses.

“Me and my big mouth,” I mumbled.

I ran, er, I mean, galloped down the road, slipping a little and nearly falling again. The rain turned the dirt path into a mud slide, and it was getting considerably difficult to keep upright. I felt like a drunken one-legged guy trying to jog down a gravel road while blind folded.  After about two hours of stumbling through the mud I saw a barn, bright red even in this weather, in the distance. At this point, my options had come down to:

A) Enjoy the harsh freezing rain.

B) Hide under a Tree.

C) Go to barn and hope and pray that someone’s there

D) Do the Cha-cha slide.

I decided that option C was the best. After all, the worst thing that could happen would be me getting turned back out into the rain.

I trotted up to the door and was about to knock, when I heard a voice that had a southern drawl call out over the storm, “APPLEBLOOM! APPLEBLOOM! CONSARN IT, WHERE ARE YOU!?!”

Ah, nuts. Now I had to add another option: E) Go find out who was calling and help them out. Gah! Sometimes being the good guy isn’t easy. I turned toward the sound of the voice and saw an orange pony with a blond mane and tail standing on a hill, struggling to keep a weathered brown stetson (Making her a cow-pony?) on her head. She had a tattoo of three apples on her flank, her eyes were an emerald green, and she seemed to be trying to find someone.

I galloped toward her, somehow managing not to fall, and yelled out over the storm, “What’s wrong?”

Instead of questioning me, like I was sure she’d do, she looked at me with something near tears in her eyes and said, “It’s my little sister, Applebloom! She was out in the orchard when the storm came, and she should have been back by now!”

“What does she look like?”

“She’s got a yellow coat and a red mane and tail! She always wears a big red bow in her hair, and she-“

“I get the picture! Where did you say she was?” I interrupted her while looking around.

“In the orchard!” she replied, giving me a look of confusion.

“Well I’ll go look for her then!”  I called out, already running toward a huge group of closely knit apple trees.

“Wait, what’s your name?” she shouted after me, her voice going hoarse (Heh heh, I made a funny) from yelling.

“I’ll tell you when I get back!” I said, grinning over my shoulder.

Funny thing about danger: If you’re unprepared for it, you normally get into some serious trouble, or you suddenly learn how to deal with it. Case in point, while I was running through the orchard searching for Apple Bloom, I dimly noticed that I wasn’t stumbling anymore. I was galloping full steam through a forest in almost absolute darkness (minus the occasional lightning bolt) in the mud and I wasn’t falling. How’s that for adapting?

I called out Apple Bloom’s name while I ran, hoping to find some sign that she was alright, when I heard a small voice crying. Changing direction as fast as I could, I found who I hoped to be the missing pony huddling, as only a pony could (D’aaawww), under a small makeshift tent made out of fallen twigs. I have to admit, she may be a scared little girl (Filly), but she was smart enough to try and make a shelter for herself. I made my way over to her and half-shouted, “Are you Apple Bloom?”

The filly’s eyes widened and she said in a frightened voice, “Y-y-yes.” Hey, she had a southern accent too! Does this mean I’ve stumbled across a pony version of Texas? Louisiana? Missouri?

“Your sister is worried sick about you! How about we get you back home?” I said, picking her up with my teeth (Fun fact: Pony hair + Mud and dirt = Blegh) and setting her on my back. She didn’t seem to be hurt, but she was obviously scared and I could see why. Thunder as loud as a war cannon and lightning striking the ground a few yards from us would have terrified almost anyone. Myself included.

“Applejack sent you?” she asked, hope slipping into her voice.

“Yeah, well, she was looking for you, and I decided to lend a helping hoof,” I tried to say in a reassuring voice, making my way through the orchard. Man, there were more trees here than in a national park! And to top it off, each tree had a different kind of apple on it. Hmm…Apple Bloom? Applejack? And of course, all of the apple trees. Let me guess, the next pony I meet is gonna be called Green Apple! Okay, probably not, but I can dream, right?

Apple Bloom shivered and tried to hang on as hard as she could, and I could feel how cold she was. Thankfully, I was somehow able to see the hill top where I had met Applejack, and managed to make my way there, fighting against the wind as I went. I couldn’t see the bigger pony anywhere, and I decided that I would track her down after I got Apple Bloom to safety.

I went to the barn and head butted it a few times, ignoring the stars that flew up from the impact, hoping I could get someone’s attention. I kept hitting the door with my head, and just when the stars started to turn into cartoon birds, the door opened, and a massive red pony with an orange mane and a bit of wheat sticking out of his mouth stepped out. Of course, the stick of wheat fell out when he saw a complete stranger holding what I guessed to be his little sister.

“Hey! Don’t just stand there! The little pony here needs to get warm!” I growled, gesturing with my head to the shivering filly on my back. Big Red (As I decided to call him until I got his real name) instantly nodded his head and took Apple Bloom off of my back.

“Where’s A.J? And who are you?” he asked slowly, after he got her wrapped up in some nearby blankets.

“Long story short, I offered to help find the little one, and now I gotta go find Appleja-“

Again, I got cut off (Why does that keep happening?) by the door opening, Applejack running in, and shutting the door behind her, effectively muting the sounds of the storm.

“I saw you run back here with Applebloom and got here as fast as I could,” she panted while shaking herself dry. She softly walked over to where her sister lay huddled in a mountain of old blankets and started whispering to her softly.

“Well…okay then. Yeah, uh, nice to see that you’re safe and all, so I best skedaddle and get out of your hair,” I awkwardly chuckled, walking towards the door. Yeah, I know it sounds stupid, but it was starting to become a full blown family moment, and I always feet awkward around those. More so when it was someone who I didn’t even know.

“Hold on there pardner. You can’t be serious about goin’ back into that storm,” Applejack said, moving in front of me and blocking the exit. Her stance told me that she would stand there all day (or was it night now?) if she had to. Crap, it was a stubborn pony. Moreover, it was a stubborn pony who honestly cared for the well being of others. Damn it. But of course, I can be just as stubborn when I want to.

I smiled, and said in an overly-confident tone, “Oh don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine. It’s just a little-“

BOOM!

There was a moment of silence, until I said in a much less confident voice, “…Medium sized storm. But that doesn’t change anything. It’s not too ba-“

BOOM!

“WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!?” I yelled while staring at the roof.  The others gave me a look that plainly stated they thought I was crazy, and I quickly added, “Alright, it’s a big storm. I’ll still be leaving though. Nice to meet y’all, good to see you’re all safe, and now...I am skeddadling!”

I nimbly (HA! Barely a chapter in and I had went from klutzy to nimble! There is hope!) skipped around Applejack and managed to open the side door. Stepping outside, I turned to say something like, “See? It’s just a normal storm. Nothing can go wrong.” Instead, what happened was I stepped outside, and then there was a blinding white flash, quickly followed by the distinct smell of overcooked meat.

“On second thought,” I mumbled through numb lips, “I think I might stay for tea.”

Darkness overtook me as I fell to the ground.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

I woke up, and tried to open my eyes. Unfortunately, someone had gotten a little overexcited with the bandages, and my entire head was covered with them. I lifted a hoof and let out a sigh of relief. Other than some stiffness, everything seemed to be working properly. Of course, I could look like a pile of overcooked hot dogs and not even realize it thanks to the aforementioned bandages.

But see, that’s one of the perks of being The Traveler. I can’t die. Seriously, no matter what, I can’t die. If I get sick, I’ll get better eventually, and if I get wounded it’s the same thing. Of course, I can be wounded or sick enough to have to return to a Home world (A place that I can call home), and stay there in order to recuperate.

Sounds like a blessing, doesn't it? It's not.

Well, anyways, it seemed that the lightning didn’t do much worse than knock me out. Although with the surprising amount of bandages on my head, I wouldn’t be surprised if I looked well-done.

“Hello?” I called out, but with my mouth full of bandages, it came out like, “Hrem?”

“Oh Good, you’re up!” I heard a voice cheerfully exclaim. I felt a straw being forced through the bandages, quickly followed up with a stinging sensation in what I thought was my left nostril.

“Hrm mrr hrmph hrm?” Is my beard still in one piece?

“I just wanted to thank you for saving me last night! Applejack says that if you didn’t come when you did, I might have gotten struck by lightning like you did!”

Ah. This must be Apple Bloom! Her medic skills leave much to be desired, but at least she was okay. And I guess her heart was in the right place, but it would’ve been nice if she hadn’t just stuck a straw up my nose. What’s more, the straw was in a big glass of juice, and it sent the strong unending aroma of apples up my nose.

“Apple Bloom!” I heard Applejack walk in and start telling off Apple Bloom.

“Oh, Hi Applejack! Hey, look Sis! He’s awake!” Apple Bloom said, removing the straw and giving my nose an enormous sense of relief.  Ah, to not have the scent of apples jammed up my nostril. T'is a truly wondrous feeling, and I highly suggest you try it sometime.

“Sugarcube, why is his face covered with all them bandages?”

“HREM! HRM HREM HREMEM MM HRM!” HEY! CAN I GET THE BANDAGES OFF PLEASE?!

“Oh, uh, we better get them bandages offa ya, huh?” Applejack said sheepishly, and I felt the bandages slowly being unraveled from my head. Note to self: Never become a mummy.

As the last of the bandages were removed, I gasped out, “Oh, sweet relief! I can breathe!” I shook my head and got up, noticing that someone had moved me to a nearby pile of straw. Oddly enough, it was actually pretty comfortable, instead of itchy and annoying. I wrote it off to being a pony and felt for my beard. Thank the Gods of Good it was still there.

“Uh, are you okay?” Applejack asked cautiously, pulling Applebloom behind her.

“Oh yeah. Perfectly fine,” I said in a matter-of-fact tone. Then, on a sudden impulse I continued by saying, “So…Who are you?”

“What do you mean?” Applebloom said, poking out from behind her older sister.

“I mean, who are you? And how did I end up here? More importantly than that, where is here?” I asked, hoping that after a few years of hanging out with people who had amnesia I could at least act the part. Hey, don’t groan. It’s better than having to explain why I don’t know about something that should be painfully obvious. Like this one time, one of my buddies and I went to this mall and there were these dancers. Now it weren’t bad or anything, but I thought that maybe we should go up and try to talk to them and-

Oh, right. Now’s not the best time. Sorry about that.

“You mean you don’t remember anything?” Applejack asked in a quiet tone, looking at me.

I shook my head, and stated in a cheerful voice, “Nothing but a flash of light, a storm, and my name.”

“Uh-oh. That’s not good.” Applejack started pacing back and forth and swishing her tail nervously.

“Well, if it helps, I’m pretty sure my name is Omnius. Pleased to meet ya!” I said, holding out a hoof.

“Applejack. So you mean to tell me that you don’t remember anything about last night?” My hoof just hung in the air. No hoof shaking for me then? Oh come on A.J! Don’t leave a Traveler hangin’!

“Nope,” I grumbled in my best Engineer voice. I had to resist the urge to try extending my neck when I said that though.

The sisters looked at each other and then told me what had happened last night, most of which I already knew (although if you can’t remember, just go hit the rewind button) except for the part where they had to pull me back into the barn and make sure I was okay. It surprised me that they would do that for a random stranger, but it made me happy. They were obviously good ponies.

“What’s really amazing is that you aren’t, well, you know…” Applejack started to say, but couldn’t find a good word. My smart-ass section of my brain went into action at the obvious opening.

“Deep Fried? Electro-ficuted?  Shell Shocked? Fricasseed? Paralyzed? Thunderstruck?” I supplied helpfully.

“Yeah, that,” Applejack said, chuckling softly.

“What’s Thunderstruck?” Applebloom asked with a look of childlike curiosity on her face.

“Um, well, actually, uh…I don’t know?” I tried, shifting nervously. Crap, how do you explain amnesia and the fact that you know songs from another dimension? Answer: You don’t. You let the viewer laugh silently (If they get the joke) and hope that they don’t get too suspicious.

“You want to know what’s really strange about you?” Applejack quickly said in an obvious attempt to gloss over the awkward moment.

“My face? Oh no, please tell me the lightning didn’t fry my glasses!” I said, suddenly feeling around for them. After I found them sitting next to the pile of hay, I put them on and let out a sigh of relief. You wanna know how bad my eyesight is? It's about as good as a certain meddling kid who wears an orange sweater and glasses. I hate it...a lot...

“Uh, actually, I was gonna say your Cutie-Mark,” She said, laughing out loud this time.

“My what now?” Aaaaaaannd here’s the part where I feel like an idiot for not knowing something obvious.

“Your Cutie-mark,” Applebloom said, pointing helpfully at my flank. I looked and saw the familiar shape that was my logo. An infinity symbol with a sun and moon in the loops and an Hourglass set in the back.

“I have a feeling that I’m gonna sound pretty dumb for asking this, but what is a cutie-mark?” I asked, my heart already sinking. Thank you amnesia, for giving me an excuse for dumbness!

“Are you being serious?” Applejack said unbelievingly.

“Unfortunately. Hey, remember: Just got my brain scrambled by lightning.”

REAL LIGHTNING!

Applejack’s eyes widened and she looked closer at my head, and said after a minute, “Wow. Guess that amnesia business must be serious. Well, a cutie-mark is that little something that tells you what your special talent is. Like mine.” She turned, and I saw the trio of apples on her flank. “See them apples? That means that my special talent is running Sweet Apple Acres.”

My finely honed detective skills, and the sign hanging on the fence I could see out of the window, told me that Sweet Apple Acres was the name of the farm I was at. That would explain the apple trees, the apple baskets, the apple sign on the fence outside…Hey, give me some credit, I just got hit by lightning!

“Oh, I get it. And mine means…” I frowned a bit and tried not to let my paranoia get the better of me. My logo is something that I created before I started Traveling, and for some reason it’s always been there to be my insignia, my mark, and my trademark! But to have it suddenly appear on me for my talent was a little disconcerting. It’s like having a favorite book and then realizing that book defines your life. Spooky.

Applejack gazed at me with sad eyes, and said in a low voice, “I guess that amnesia must’ve hit you pretty bad. To have already realized your specialty and then forget about it…It’s almost like you’ve lost your own identity.”

I swallowed and tried to fight off the urge to break out into a cold sweat. “So, uh… If I’m all right, I think I’ll just go ahead and make my getaway. Thanks for taking care of me, and I hope to see you again.”

“Whoa there Sugarcube, you can’t be serious about doing that again. That’s what got you into trouble in the first place. Besides, you can’t remember a thing! So where would you go?” Applejack said stubbornly and logically at the same time. I have a feeling this is going to be something I say a lot, but here goes: Only Ponies could be able to pull that off.

“Well…uh…”

“Exactly. So I reckon the best thing for you to do is to just stay here, and help us out with the upcoming celebration,” she said, giving me a smug look. Only ponies could be cute enough to pull off a smug look without getting an angry glare from me.

“What celebration?”

“The Summer Sun Celebration. It’s the biggest event in Equestria, and it takes place in about a week. You can stick around and help me get things ready for that and for my family reunion, which is happening in about five days.”

“Yeah! You gotta stay for that! Please say yes, please,” Apple Bloom piped in, giving me an incredibly sad and hopeful look.  I guess me saving her from a storm must’ve made some sort of impression. Then I got a good look at her sad face (You already know what it looks like, and I’m not going to describe it.)

No, no, and melodramatic NOOOOOOOOOOOO again. I may have failed to mention this, but I’m a sucker for a sad face. Especially if the sad face is real, the person giving me the sad face is a kid, and they’re a pony.

How could I resist?

I sighed, and said reluctantly, “Alright.” Almost as an afterthought, I added, “Hey, maybe doing some work will help me remember my special talent!”  Gotta play the part of amnesiac lightning bolt victim or risk getting found out.

Apple Bloom beamed at me and happily skipped out of the barn. Applejack shook her head in the way only older sisters can and said over her shoulder as she followed her little sister out, “You don’t remember it, but thanks for saving my sister.”

I blinked and smiled. Maybe it had been coincidence, or maybe fate, which had made me be there in the nick of time for Applebloom and made me get struck by lightning. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have met the two sisters.

And although I didn’t know it at the time, it also meant I wouldn’t have met a whole lot of others who would end up changing me a lot more than I thought they would...

NO! IT’S NOT A CLICHÉ! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!

She's an Applejack and she's okay!

**Chapter 2:

She’s an Applejack, and She’s Okay!**

(Takes place 6 days before Ep. 1 of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

To be fair, Applejack was handling the situation pretty well. I mean, a complete stranger comes out of nowhere, saves her sister from a deadly storm, and then, before you can learn anything about that stranger, he goes and gets struck by lightning (Man is this guy an idiot…hey wait!) and catches a bad case of amnesia. Or, at least it seems like it.

But I swear, if I got another look from her that said, “You are a crazy lunatic,” I was gonna have to say something! After I consulted my magic conch shell, of course.

On second thought, after listening to myself think that, I probably was a bit crazy. I mean, really? Magic conch shell? I had upgraded to the Magic Meat Ball a few weeks ago!

“Hey, are you listening?” I heard Applejack say, poking my side with her hoof. She gave me another look, only this time it was more of an annoyed look than a “Get the Straight-Jackets and Macaroni Art,” look. I’ll let it slide for now…

“Oh, Uh, sorry. You were saying something about, uh…apples?” Either that or pears…Please be apples, please be apples!

“Yep” (Boo-ya!) “Now, here at Sweet Apple Acres, we’ve got the best apples around! Why, they practically grow themselves!” She said with a hint of pride.

“Do they?”

“Do they what?” She asked with a look of confusion on her face.

“Do they really grow themselves?”

“Uh, no. They don’t. We have to put a lot of time and effort into growing them,” She said, laughing.

“So how do we get the apples down?” I asked, chuckling with her.

“Simple.” She said, before pivoting on her front hooves and kicking with her rear legs at a nearby tree.  The tree shook and every single apple on the tree fell neatly into some nearby buckets. Applejack caught me gawking at the tree, and she said, “And that, is what we call Apple-Bucking.”

“…How did you do that without shaking off a single leaf?” I asked, still looking at the tree.

“Years and Years of practice,” She said, picking up a few stray apples that had missed the bucket by a couple of inches, “And now it’s your turn!”

Alright! Time to start showing Applejack what I could do! I mean, come on! I’ve fought armies, seen a double rainbow (And figured out what it means!), and met Guybrush Threepwood, a mighty pirate! I can definitely kick down a few apples…or maybe…Hmm, My Crazy Idea sense is tingling!

“Let me get this straight,” I said, looking at the tree, “So kicking the trees gets apples to fall.”

“That’s the idea,” Applejack said, kicking another tree.

“What about a head butt?” I asked, now taking measurements in my head.

Applejack stopped her Apple-bucking for a moment and looked at me apprehensively. “Seriously?”

“Eyup.” I said, wrapped up in my plans.

“You’re just gonna charge into them trees head on and make the apples fall?” She said skeptically, walking over to me.

“Eyup.” I replied, looking at how good the ground was for running (This time, I swear I DID NOT trip!)

“You sure you haven’t met Big Macintosh before?”

“Eyup.”

“…You sure?” She said doubtfully.

Alright, the constant skepticism was starting to get on my nerves. Granted, I had amnesia, but seriously! Now any normal person would have probably responded patiently and maybe with a bit of politeness. Then again, I’m not exactly “Normal,” now am I?

“Why as a matter of fact my dear Applejack, I’m quite certain that I have not yet had the pleasure of previously making the acquaintance of your elder brother, Big Macintosh,” I said in my best Holmes-ian accent. I swear, my smart-assery is more of a reflex than a conscious choice now.

“Well, if you say so,” Applejack said in a slight huff, “Just try to make sure you don’t hit your head too hard, or you’ll lose your memory again!”

“Don’t worry! I have complete confidence in what I’m about to do!” I said, pawing at the ground and getting ready for the charge.

“Ah’m pretty sure you said that last night too!”

“Details!” I said dismissively, “Now then: ALLONS-Y!”

I don’t know where the French came from, but for some reason it was the first thing that popped into my head. I charged full speed down the hill, lowered my head, and tried to think happy thoughts.

The Good News: It worked! All of the apples fell out of the tree and landed in neat piles (Bushels? DAMN YOU GRAMMAR!) Inside of the baskets (Or buckets. See earlier parenthesis for thoughts on this).

The Bad News: I may have miscalculated the amount of forward momentum in comparison to the force needed to relieve the trees of their apples. Or to put in English: I went too fast.

I stumbled back from the still vibrating tree, and tried to ignore the flying apples (That’s a new one) that were currently doing air-stunts around my head.

“Omnius? You okay?” I heard Applejack say in a concerned tone of voice.

“HA! Head make tree go all shaky-shaky!” I said in a slightly slurred voice. I shook my head as if I was drying myself and said, “Uh, I mean yeah, I’m fine. Could you show me that apple bucking thing again?”

Applejack started laughing again, and she said, “Sure thing. I reckon that you’re not gonna be head butting them trees anymore?”

“No, but hey, it could come in handy someday!” I said cheerfully, rubbing the spot where my forehead had connected with the tree.

“Alright, but pay attention this time! I don’t want ya gettin yourself hurt again!”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

After a couple of tries, I started getting the hang of it. I mean, I wasn’t as good as Applejack or Big Macintosh, but I was getting along…and it took every ounce of willpower I had to NOT say any witty one-liners, like, “This. is. EQUESTRIA!!!” or “Pony KICK!” or even better: “Hoof to the Head!” So instead, I settled for making sure that I got the job done and listened to Applejack as she told me about the Summer Sun Celebration.

She told me how Equestria (The name of the land I was in. Still not sure if it’s the planet’s name or not) is ruled by Princess Celestia, who would raise the sun and moon with her magic and who is a kind and wise ruler who had been around for at least a thousand years.

(Okay, why doesn’t that surprise me? Seriously, it’s always a THOUSAND. It’s never 18,988 years, or maybe 45.674 months, or even 17 ½ minutes! It’s always some sort of thousand! Sheesh!)

Anyway, apparently the Summer Sun Celebration is held on the longest day of the year in order to celebrate the sun and all of the things that it symbolizes, like hope, a new day, light conquering the darkness, and all of those things.

“Wait, hold on: So you’re in charge of the food for this whole MASSIVE event?” I asked incredulously.

“That’s right! Like I said, we here at Sweet Apple Acres grow the BEST apples in all of Equestria!” She said with that same tone of pride.

“And you have to prepare ALL of the food?”

“Well, this year I’m getting help from the family! Remember that Family Reunion I was talkin about earlier?” I nodded, and she said, “That’s why they’re coming before the celebration,” She explained, bucking the apples off of another tree.

After the sun started touching the horizon, Applejack looked up, and I asked, “Hey, what’s up?”

“I’d say we’ve gotten enough apples for today,” Applejack said, wiping sweat off of her brow and looking at the group of apples we had harvested. I then looked at the field of trees and realized that we had only put a small dent in the massive orchard.

“Uh…How many trees are here exactly?” I asked in a small voice.

“Ya know, I never really bothered to count. All I know is that we’ve still a lot of trees that aren’t ready to be harvested yet. But we have enough to make sure everyone at the Celebration gets enough food,” She said, shrugging.

Wait, wait, and wait again. She SHRUGGED. She’s a pony. She shrugged. HOW?!? I rolled my shoulders experimentally and found that I could do all of the normal human motions, only in ponified form. Coooooool.

“What are you doing?” Applejack asked with an amused expression on her face.

“Oh, I’m, uh, just stretching a bit. I mean, we’ve been bucking all day. I need to make sure I don’t get cramps or something like that.”

She nodded and said, “Makes sense.”

Phew, dodged another bullet on that one. I’ve got to be more careful with experimenting in new bodies. It’d be better if I waited until nightfall. Then there’d be less chance of me getting caught.

We hauled the apples back to the barn and stashed them in a giant pile near the back.

“Wow. How did I miss that?” I asked, looking at the massive pile.

“Well you WERE just struck by lightning,” Applejack said, poking my side again.

“Okay, point Applejack,” I said, grinning.

“By the way, what was it you were shouting when you head butted that tree?”

“What, Allons-y? I think it’s some sort of phrase that means, ‘Let’s Go’ or ‘Charge’ or some sort of thing like that,” I said, trying to look confused. Hopefully I did a good job. I mean, all these years of being in actual confusion should make it pretty easy to fake it.

“Think it might have something to do with your memory?” She asked with a real look of concern on her face.

Ah, damn it. It’s easy to lie to someone who doesn’t care. Not so much when you lie to someone who does. Applejack was obviously the type of pony who would do her best to try and make sure that everyone around her was safe, or at least that they were happy, which in retrospect is kind of the same thing.

“Hey, it might!” I said, with fake cheer. I don’t know what was worse: The fact that I was straight up lying to someone who I might be able to honestly call a friend or the fact that it was easier than it should have been.

I looked through a nearby window and noticed that the sun was setting. Against my will, I yawned and Applejack gave me another grin.

“I guess you ain’t a farm-pony, that’s for sure! I can’t believe that you’re tired!” She said, suppressing a yawn herself.

Et tu A.J?

“Oh give me some credit! I got struck by lightning and then nearly gave myself a concussion! Granted, that last part was my fault, but still!” I said, as I felt my eyelids get heavier. The pile of straw that I had slept in last night was starting to look pretty inviting right about now…

“Well, I don’t know about you but I’m gonna turn in,” I heard Applejack say as she walked outside, “Good Night Omnius. Get some shuteye, huh?”

“Yeah. Sleep tight Applejack,” I said, plopping onto the hay. After a hard day’s work, it felt like a bed of marshmallows (Yes. I’ve slept on Marshmallows. Summer seasons aside, it really was one of the best ways to sleep. Screw Goosefeathers!)

I wish I could say that my dreams were as relaxing.

Okay, as clichéd as it might sound, I rarely ever have “Dreams.” It’s always a memory that I revisit or a vision of my future. Remember how I mentioned that I can Learn anything and everything? Wait, I didn’t mention that?

I can learn everything and anything. Seriously. No limits as to what I can learn. Heck, I could even learn how to play Genesis Games on an NES. I just need enough time to learn it. And hey: I can’t die! Put two and two together…Come on, I know you can do it. Just think about it.

There, I mentioned it.

OKAY! Back on track now!

Anyway, I’ve spent a lot of time around Demi-gods who got messages in their dreams and of course the odd psychic and gypsy (Boy can those Gypsies meet the stereotype or what?). I picked up a thing or two and badda-bing, badda-boom I dream of Visions! In full Technicolor too! Okay, technically I’d already had the visions before, but now I got dreams that dealt with whatever situation I was dealing with at the time or were about to deal with.

This time: I got an old memory. Oh joy! Now the readers/viewers/watchers can get a glimpse of some back story! If you’re not excited, trust me. I don’t like it either.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

My armor was getting on my nerves.

“Okay, can we get on with it?” I asked impatiently, adjusting my grip on my Traveler’s Blade (Note to self: Get a better name for it).

“Calm down Omnius. You know, they say that Stress is one of the number one causes of an early death,” Torrentican said conversationally, twirling his rapier in his hand.

“Hey, crappy jokes are my gig! Do I go around and act like the embodiment of all that is clichéd and evil?” I retorted, my temper starting to get the better of me.

(By now, you should be remembering the intro chapter and that Torrentican is the Name of the Traveler of Evil. Yeah, second chapter (Or episode) and you get to see a foreshadowing flashback about one of the most hated people in all of Time, Space, and Matter.)

Funny thing is, he’s actually not exactly evil looking. He looks more like…how do I describe it? To be honest, he seems...normal. Honestly, he actually looks handsome compared to most of the guys you'll see on T.V. Hell, the only reason you can tell that there's something wrong with him is if you look at his eyes...black soulless pits, filled with anger, and a sick enjoyment of seeing others suffer. A monster.

That barely scrapes the surface of what Torrentican is.

“Temper, temper,” Torrentican said in a deadpan tone, his face becoming an unreadable mask.

“Look Torrie, why don’t we make this easier? You go away, leave the inhabitants of this world alone, and repair the damages you’ve caused, and I won’t kick your ass into last year,” I said, easing the sword onto my shoulder, in a seemingly casual stance.

Without warning, his sword darted in and slashed open a wide gash on my arm. Cursing myself for letting my guard down, I muttered, “I take that as a 'no'?”

“You should wear better armor. Isn’t that what your friends keep telling you?” Torrentican whispered, and I realized he had somehow made himself invisible (Totally unfair!) and I had lost track of him.

“You leave them out of this,” I said, glancing at the long line on my leather jacket and already feeling slightly dizzy from blood-loss.

“Why? You drag them into your hell whenever you show your face.” Another slash, and another line appeared, this one a shallow cut on my cheek.

I put myself into a defensive stance and said, “Hey, I’m not the monster here! You’re the one who…wait, hold on! I’d never forgive myself if I passed up a chance to say this!” I cleared my throat and said in an overly dramatic voice, “DIE MONSTER! YOU DON’T BELONG IN THIS WORLD!”

“What in the world are you talking about?” I heard a voice come from my left, and I slashed in its direction. I nodded grimly when the tip of my blade bit into Torrentican’s...something. Hey, he’s still invisible okay? I could’ve stabbed his gut as easily as his…ahem. Well, you know.

“Oh come on, don’t you remember? The Miserable Pile of Secrets, Alucard, the Belmonts, is any of that ringing a bell yet?” I said, raising my sword in time to deflect a jab at my chest.

Hey, that Spidey-Sense thing I learned is really paying off!

“Whatever. But why do you accuse me of being a monster? Rest assured Omnius, that someday you will come upon a world that will be a Paradise to one such as you. A world of peace, friendship, and adventure,” He laced each word with acid, and he spoke with contempt in his voice, “A world that you would love, more than anything, to claim as a home world. But when you find such a world, when you meet the ones who reside on that world in your true form, you will be seen as a monster. A beast that lives only to hurt others.”

As much as I’d like to deny it, his words somehow instilled a deep fear into my heart. I thrust the fear away from me and said, “Seriously? You’re trying to mess with me by calling me a monster?”

“No. I’m trying to say that THEY will see you as a monster. And there won’t be a thing you can do about it.”

He suddenly appeared in front of me, his hand over a small puncture wound in his arm and a mad grin on his face.

“Remember…I am The Traveler of Evil. I know when something will be thought of as evil…”

“And YOU remember that there’s a two for one sale over at Macy’s. Maybe you should think about getting some better cologne or something. Geeze, you REEK, man!”

His face contorted into a grimace of rage, and he charged at me, darkness flowing behind him.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

My eyes shot open as I fell out of the pile that I had claimed as my resting spot. I felt my arm and blinked when I saw the hoof. Right, I’m a pony right now. That was all just a dream. Okay, a memory dream, but a dream nonetheless.

But why the hell did it terrify me?

And more importantly…Where’s the bathroom?