Muffins

by MoonChill

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Carrot Top, Big Macintosh, Random, Derpy Hooves, DJ P0N-3, Granny Smith, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1520

Granny Smith meets Derpy Hooves at the store. Somehow they go off on... Muffins...

Granny Smith meets Derpy Hooves at the store. Somehow they go off on... Muffins...

Published 2012-04-11 19:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-11 19:54:01 UTC

To the Store

To the Store

Granny Smith called to Apple Jack, Apple Bloom, and Big Macintosh, as
she headed for the door. She called in her exasperated voice that had
been very tired. .

"Hey Apple family! I'm off to the... Uh.... Store!" Big Macintosh
appeared by her side.
"Hey Big Macintosh, could you escort me to the store please? An old
pony like me doesn't get around too easily anymore." Big Mac looked at
her with big eyes and a blank expression.

"Eeyup." was his response. Granny Smith got a big smile.

"Well thank you Big Macintosh." they left out the door and they came
across Apple Jack who was bucking apples. She stopped and took a
breath.

"Whewwie!" she exclaimed, "These apples are giving me a hard time in
all this with the hot sun and all. Say, where y'all goin'?" asked
Apple Jack. Big Mac looked at Granny Smith. She smiled and said, "Well
Apple Jack, we're off to the store, I need to buy a few things for...
Dinner." she said and Apple Jack smiled.

"Well y'all have fun now. I need to finish up these last few apples
before they scorch in the sun. Apple Bloom is with Scootaloo and
Sweetiebelle so no need in worryin' about her." Granny Smith nodded
her head and slowly made her way down the path. Big Mac was there to
help carry the groceries but he had a few things that he needed to
pick up along the way as well.

It was a good half hour before they reached the grocery store. "I'll
call for you when I need you Big Mac." said Granny Smith.

"Eeyup." Big Mac trotted away and began to stop at random places to
pick up various items. Flowers, a trowel, and a stalk of rhubarb, before
he went to check out. He waited quietly by the exit when he dozed off.

Granny Smith squinted and tried to read the isle signs. "Hmmm, uh now
what does that say? Bunions? I have those already." the sign really
said onions, but Granny Smith had very poor eyesight. Derpy trotted
merrily along the halls looking for random items that she needed.

"Hmm hmm hmm." hummed Derpy as she picked up a bag of flour. She was
reaching for another item when she bumped into Granny Smith.

"Oh hi Granny!" exclaimed Derpy loudly. Granny Smith peered through
squinted eyes and made out Derpy's face.

"Oh hello to you Derpy." she responded. Derpy tried reaching for the
item again and then found the one she was looking for.
"Ah ha! I've found the missing alfalfa!" she said and Granny Smith smiled.

"Eh What? You have to speak up!" yelled Granny Smith. Derpy rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Yeah, and so do muffins!" said Derpy excitedly. Granny Smith thought
for a moment.

"Muffins? Well I suppose we could talk about those even though... well never mind." said
Granny. Derpy smiled and laughed a bit.

"You know, I love muffins! I like oat muffins, and chocolate muffins,
plain muffins, banana nut muffins, chocolate chip muffins, raisin
muffins, hay muffins, alfalfa muffins, and blueberry muffins. Oh I
love blueberry muffins! They are my favorite." Derpy rolled her eyes
once but then they returned to her normal lazy eyed look. "Butter! Oh they
have to have butter on your muffins because it makes them really,
really good!" said Derpy starting to get overly excited.

With Granny Smith's old age, it was getting hard for her to comprehend
all that Derpy had said.

"Ewell, I guess so..." Granny Smith said uncertainly. Derpy still went on.

"I make muffins all the time. And when I do, Ditzy helps me and
sometimes Dinky but you know. I'm trying to teach them at a young age
so they can make muffins and build a muffin empire!" there was a short
pause.

"Well, I have been working on a prototype."
Granny Smith finally was starting to catch on.

"Oh and what is that?" she asked. Derpy smiled and continued.

"A muffin cannon!" she yelled. Granny Smith was caught by surprise and
then gave a frightful yelp.

"Oh!!" came a sound from Granny Smith.
Derpy was now just going on and on about her muffins.

"Sorry Granny Smith I just get really excited about muffins!" said
Derpy trying to catch the falling items that were in her satchel.
Granny Smith finally caught her breath.

"Well how come your cutie mark isn't a muffin?" asked Granny Smith.
"Isn't that the thing you love the most?" Derpy smiled and said,

"Well I do love them the most but the second best thing is delivering
mail." she said. Granny Smith raised an eyebrow.

"Oh and why is that?" asked Granny Smith trying to make sense of all of this.

"Because Granny Smith, you get to meet lots of new ponies and they all
have different personalities! I mean you have Romana T. Colgate,
Seafoam, Sparkler, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Vinyl Scratch, and of
course Miss Cherrilee, and so many more!" said Derpy. Granny Smith's
head was now whirling.

"Ok Derpy I understand that you love your job, I best be going now."
said the tired Granny Smith. She went around Derpy who was in the isle
and went to pick up some carrots, celery, alfalfa, hay, and milk, from
the store. She proceeded to the checkout line, trying to get away from
the very talkative ponies. Carrot Top was the cashier and she was
checking the customers out in line.

"Two bits is your change." said Carrot Top to Moon Chill who trotted
out the door, noticing the stallion who was now asleep and drooling on
the floor. She trotted contently out the of the store.

"Thanks Carrot Top!" said Moon Chill.

"Come again." was Carrot Top's response. Granny Smith was second in
line because Vinyl Scratch was in front of her. Granny Smith looked
around crazily hoping, that maybe Derpy had found another line to
check out at. Granny Smith smiled and watched Carrot Top count the
items and total them up. Vinyl Scratch had bought a large amount of
eggs and Granny Smith wanted them to hurry up.

"HEY GRANNY SMITH!!!" yelled Derpy behind her. Granny Smith jumped on
Vinyl Scratch's head and began to shake.

"Oh, sorry Granny Smith. I just meant to say I haven't seen you in two
minutes!" Granny Smith opened her old eyes and peered at Derpy. She
got down and sighed.

"Oh it's just Derpy." said Carrot Top. Granny Smith apologized to
Vinyl Scratch.
"Oh I'm sorry Miss." Vinyl Scratch nodded her head and galloped out
the door. Granny Smith had her items totaled up and she was getting
her purse out when Derpy interrupted.

"Hey! Did you get any MUFFINS!!?" said Derpy loudly. Granny Smith
threw her purse up in the air and it landed on Carrot Top's head. She
frowned and got it off, handing it back to Granny Smith who was frozen
in fright. Derpy looked at the items and frowned.

"Hmm, I guess not. Maybe I'll bake you some and deliver them to you
when I bring your mail tomorrow!" said Derpy. Granny Smith twitched
her eye and then flung the money down on the counter. She definitely
overpaid, but she didn't care because all she wanted was to get away
from that pony. Big Macintosh was awakened by the shrilling voice of
Granny Smith.

"Get those items and let's get out of here!" she cried. Big Mac was
asleep but was suddenly jolted awake by the yell that came from his grandmother. He galloped to the counter and picked up the contents, putting them into his bag. Derpy looked at him funny.

"You don't look anything like Granny Smith. Are you sure you're
related?" asked Derpy.

"Eeyup." Derpy smiled as she paid and then looked at Big Mac again and
giggled. Big Mac turned to her and looked confusedly at Derpy. She saw
him raise an eyebrow.

"Oh nothing." she said tryingto hide more laughter. Carrot Top continued Derpy's line. "Yah, Derpy is right you know. You don't look anything like her."
Big Mac widened his eyes, blushed, then galloped out of the door as fast as his legs could carry him.

"See you tomorrow when I deliver your mail and muffins!!" called Derpy, smiling with her lazy eyes.

After a short while Granny Smith and Big Macintosh made it back to Sweet Apple Acres. Granny Smith had a crazy look in her eyes. "That pony!! She's driving me crazy." Granny Smith had a new energy that Big Mac hadn't ever seen before except when she was making Zap apple jam.

Big Mac looked at her and then tilted his smile. "Well you know, Derpy is nice but she brought out a side that I only see when you are making Zap apple jam." Granny blinked obscurely. Big Mac continued, "But I'm sure that that kind of energy is good for your ticker." He closed his eyes content and then widened them again when Granny Smith said,

Big Mac! When did you get so smart?" he blushed and galloped off.