My Mind Is Empty

by Derpyx0

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Other, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1472

Star Swirl the Bearded is stuck. He can't create any spells at all!

Star Swirl the Bearded is stuck. He can't create any new spells! He tries to inspire himself, but it's not working. Not even taking a shower is helping his mind! How in the whole wide world of Equestria will he ever have any ideas again?

Published 2014-07-14 22:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-14 22:00:04 UTC

Will Take Ideas For Food

Star Swirl groaned. He was out of ideas. Again. Yes, he had created many amazing spells in the past, but those took time. And effort. And he was feeling lazy; minimal work would be appreciated. He groaned again. But what to create? It was damn hard creating something out of nothing!

I mean, yeah, he did it regularly, but today it was harder! He had stayed up all last night looking at pictures of Celestia reading a hard book with big words in it. He was beat! Speaking of Celestia big books, one of them had suggested that when he was stuck, he should stimulate his mind by doing a variety of activities.

Maybe I should do something to help stimulate my mind. Then I can get some ideas, Star Swirl the Bearded thought. Yes, it was perfect! But how to go about this "stimulating" that Celestia the book told him about. Celestia the book said it always sang when it needed ideas, but Star Swirl didn't want to piss off the neighbors again. Nope, singing was out. Maybe he could try cooking? Decided, Star Swirl arose from his chair and headed towards the kitchen. He took out all the ingredients he thought you used in a cupcake. "Now, how to start?" he asked aloud.

Guessing, Star Swirl started by cracking the eggs in a bowl. Then, he mixed in the powdered sugar, baking soda, and coke. It was soda as well, it was probably needed... right? After fishing some of the egg shell out of the bowl, Star Swirl put half a bottle of vanilla extract into the mix. It smelled great, so surely he would need a lot of it. Then, last but not least, Star Swirl the Bearded added some daisies into the bowl. He mixed the mush with a spoon, and then he poured it into little paper cups placed inside holes on a metal sheet.

None of it made any sense, but Star Swirl was desperate. He needed to create a new spell! Since he had previously preheated the oven to 3000, it was piping hot, ready for the mushy stuff. He shoved it in, careful not to burn his hoof. When the pan was all the way in, Star Swirl shut the door to the oven. Man, was it hot in there! Star Swirl realized how hot it was in his house. Maybe he could go for a nice, cool, refreshing walk. The cupcakes needed to bake, anyway.

~~~~~~

Star Swirl was greeted by many ponies, none of then who he knew. Why they all knew him? He had no idea. It might have had something to do with the spell creating thing... But that was just a hobby. Yup, it was because he knew Celestia. That great, sexy, smart, hilarious, wonderful Celestia book. Yup, that was why he saw a purple unicorn flash quickly by his windowsill earlier. She was weird. But that was how they all were.

Star Swirl realized that he had been walking for an hour, and he should probably get back to the house. His cupcakes may be almost done! He rushed back home, momentarily forgetting about teleportation, and how he was feeling super, super lazy. The excitement was too much!

When he returned home, he was surprised to hear a Beep! Beep! coming from his kitchen. When he got there, he came to the realization that his kitchen was being set on fire! Luckily, only about half his kitchen was engulfed in flame, as not a lot of it was wood. Who would live in a wood house anyway? That would be stupid! If it caught on fire or was destroyed (very easily... It's made of damn wood!), then they would have to replace it with something fantastic! Something amazing that wouldn't catch on fire! But the old house would still be gone, and ponies would be sad. Star Swirl shook his head. What was he thinking?! This was, like, fanfiction territory! Fanfiction and real life don't mix. Star Swirl the Bearded learned that the hard way.... His poor, poor third girlfriend.

Soon, the flames were doused and his kitchen looked almost normal. "Good enough!" he said as he shrugged his shoulders. After making sure no flames were hiding in corners and cracks, Star Swirl took a look at the cupcakes. About three or four of them hadn't burnt to a crisp. They were just very, very, very black. Maybe I can still salvage them? Star Swirl thought. Maybe... just maybe... Trying to salvage the cupcakes would be a hard task, but Star Swirl thought he could do it. He gathered some sugar, cream cheese, milk, and vanilla in hopes that those were the ingredients used to make the fattening frosting. He mixed the sugar, cream cheese, and the milk together. Sadly, he only had half a bottle of vanilla extract left. Oh well. Star Swirl the Bearded was about to poor it in, when his hoof got caught on a crack in the floor. Stumbling, Star Swirl spilled the vanilla all over his coat. "Why in the rule of Celestia did it have to be vanilla?! It's staining my shirt!" Sniffing, Star Swirl lost his previous train of thought. "t smells so good, maybe it tastes good?"

Star Swirl attempted to lick some off his coat, but it tasted horrible! "Bleagh! This stuff is horrible! Now I have to go wash my coat," Star Swirl whined. Sighed in defeat, he placed the empty bottle down and trotted upstairs.

Soon he was running a steaming hot shower. Luckily, he came up with many ideas in the shower, so maybe he could come up with one here! Or he would lose track of time and piss off the neighbors again... Sadly, Star Swirl could not control his voice, or his thoughts.

Hmmm... That spell might work. Wait a minute... that reminds me of this song...

Five Minutes Later...

"DON'T STOP BELIEVING!!! HOLD ON TO THAT FEELING!"

"Shut up in there!"

"What are you doing; dark magic?"

"STREET LI- oh... SORRY!!" Star Swirl blushed. He was pissing off the neighbors. Again. "Street lights, people!"

~~~~~~

When Star Swirl finished up his shower, he still had no new ideas. At all. "Gah! If none of this works, I'll never have any ideas again!" Star Swirl the Bearded yelled. Exasperated, he groaned and looked towards his bed. Maybe if he slept on it... Star Swirl didn't know what "it" was, but it was an expression he had heard ponies use before. It was supposed to clear your mind. Not that his mind needed clearing; it needed filling! But that didn't matter. He was tired.

Trying to figure out what "it" was, Star Swirl searched his room. A pillow? No, that couldn't be it. A picture? No, he had been sleeping on one of... uh, somepony for years, and it didn't do anything. Maybe, just maybe, you had to sleep on a big book! A big, sexy book had been giving him ideas all day, anyway. Not that they were good ideas, but that didn't matter! Star Swirl needed any ideas (good or bad), and he needed one now!

As he was about to shut his eyes, Star Swirl the Bearded thought one, single thought. I wish I could completely redo today.  He blinked his eyes, until the realization hit him. "Wait a minute... that's it!!" he exclaimed. "I can create a spell that allows you to go back in time! Oh, it's perfect! And then, after I create the spell, I can redo today, so I can have more time to create a spell! It's pure genius!" Star Swirl was dancing around his room, a giddy smile plastered across his face. "I won't have to fail Celestia!" Star Swirl the Bearded yelled. Soon after performing his secret "happy dance", he got to work.

The EndNot really...

Earlier...

"Wait... Spike, remember that time traveling spell? I can use it to travel back in time and see Star Swirl the Bearded! Yay!" Twilight Sparkle let energy flow from her horn to her... base of her horn. Pink magic formed around her lavender horn. The magic aura surrounded her, then, with a Pop!, she teleported to Star Swirl the Bearded's house. She didn't see much, but when she peeked inside, she could see him mixing something white. "Probably a new spell!" Twilight said out loud. Suddenly, she heard a crack, and the tree limb she was standing on broke. "Woah!" she screamed as she tumbled to the ground. Right as she was about to hit the ground, she teleported back to her time.

When she got there, Spike stared wide eyed at her. "Woah, uh, Twi, you look... frazzled. Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she seethed.

The Real End