MLP - Friendship and Pleasures

by chbedok

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe
Length: 6030

Humanized ponies and martial arts action

Pleasures is a new student in Equestria University with an uncanny ability to make enemies instead of friends. These are his adventures as he handles misunderstandings, other people, and fights with some of the most interesting marital artists in the whole of Equestria.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-24 12:45:59 UTC

Friendship and Zombie part 1

It was one of those days that got you pumped for action.

Not a cloud in the sky, the scent of new flowers in the air with a hint of the chill mixed into the breeze, and the new students coming into Equestria University for the start of the new semester. Pinkie Pie loved meeting the new students, welcoming them to what she felt was the best university in the whole of Equestria, which was so much more interesting than Canterlot College or God forbid, Manehatten State, it has a restriction as to the number of parties that can be thrown in the dorms, and the paperwork needed just to have a birthday cake brought in was horrendous. Even now Pinkie still had nightmares about her time there.

Greeting, or more appropriately, screaming 'welcomes' to everyone who passed by the school gates, Pinkie's attention turned to a student who was not showing the usual excitement or nervousness that all new students had on their first day, instead he was slumped over and wrapped up in plain black with his feet dragging across the ground, furrowing the dirt and scuffing his battered grey sneakers. His face was smothered with a huge swathe of cloth and his eyes were covered by a hood pulled low over his eyes. Not surprisingly, everyone was giving him plenty of personal space, after all, it was a decision between getting sardined, or getting sardined with a potential terrorist, pretty easy choice honestly speaking.

Pinkie grinned, she had recently bought a brand new trick popper from Flim 'n' Flam's trick shop and she had been dying to test it out on someone. Now, it seems, was as good a time as any. Muffling her giggles, she slipped through the crowd and closed the distance with her oblivious target, her popper gripped in her right hand and stuffed into her pocket, ready to deploy at the last minute. When she was close enough, Pinkie reached out and clapped her hand on the boy's shoulder, aiming to turn him around so that he would get the popper right in the face.

Time to turn a frown upside down!

As the boy turned to face her, Pinkie pulled out the popper and let it rip.

***

Pinkie found herself in the hospital wing with a broken nose.

"Ooh dear, now that would definitely leave a mark." Nurse Redheart tutted as she placed a splint over Pinkie's nose; "There we go, come back in a week and you should be all better." Reaching into a drawer, Nurse Redheart pulled out a small tube which she placed into Pinkie's hand; "And this is for the bruising, twice a day and your face will soon be right as rain."

The door to the hospital wing slammed open as Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle rushed in.

"I just heard the news, what happened?" Rainbow's eyes found Pinkie Pie sitting miserably on one of the cots lined up along the right-hand wall of the room, with a white splint smack across her mottled, purple face; "Pinkie! were you punched?"

"Amongst other things." Applejack replied, leaning on the corner of Nurse Redheart's desk, her trademark cowboy hat was slung across her back, allowing the golden locks that framed her face to catch the light of the sun coming in from the open window next too her;

"From what I heard Pinkie was attacked by some new kid wearing a hood." Applejack spat; "That little creep, when I get my hands on him..."

"Hold on AJ."  Twilight interjected; "We don't know what happened, it could have been a misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding? Look at her, she looks like a big pink raccoon!" Applejack's accent, distinct but mild most times, was becoming stronger as her emotions ran high; "This kid's a menace I tell you! and he needs to be reined in! Before he hurts others with his sociopathic behaviour! He..." Applejack trailed off as she realised something; "Who attacked you by the way?"

No one could understand Pinkie Pie's response.

"Wow, that was worse than the incident with Sunset Shimmer's joke thing thing last summer" Rainbow Dash observed.

"At least it's not as wet." Twilight remarked; "Anyway, I think we should investigate this further before we take any action." Rainbow Dash nodded, rainbow coloured bangs bouncing furiously as Twilight continued; "Let's get Pinkie to class and we'll discuss this later at lunch alright?"

"You do what you want Twilight! I have a rat to find!"

So saying Applejack stormed out, slamming the door closed behind her as she went.

Her head popped back in a second later;

"Who did attack Pinkie?"

***

Finding out who did it was easy, the hard part was finding him.

Everywhere they went, Twilight, Applejack and Fluttershy found traces of the mysterious hoodie wearing student and people who had seen him, but their target had thus far proven elusive.

"This is ridiculous!" Applejack burst out after their last lead failed to pan out; "He's more slippery than a rat trying to get into Granny Smith's larder!"

"Maybe we should get lunch first? and try again later?" Fluttershy stuttered nervously.

"No can do Fluttershy!"Applejack stomped her foot for emphasis as she continued; "We have to nip this in the bud, we can't let that no good malcontent go on another rampage, and why're you following us around anyway? Where's Rainbow Dash?"

"Rainbow and Pinkie had classes together so they went off first." Twilight ticked off a finger as she replied; "And Fluttershy is going with us because she was the one who brought Pinkie Pie to the hospital wing in the first place." Twilight finished with another tick off her fingers.

"Well why didn't you say so!" Applejack exclaimed.

"I don't think you noticed me when I first arrived." Fluttershy replied.

"Well never mind that, did you see what that varmint look like?"

"Well I didn't see his face," Fluttershy began; "All I saw was a black hoodie covering his face and a a light grey scarf wrapped around his mouth, he also shuffled along like a zombie from one of Rainbow Dashes movies." Fluttershy shuddered, she really didn't like Rainbow Dashes zombie movies.

Applejack cocked her head as she considered Fluttershy's description; "Ok, so where would a hoodied up, scarf wearing zombie go at this time of day?"

At that moment, Hoity-Toity walked by, deep in conversation with Photo Finish, who was busy fiddling with her new camera.

"I say Photo, did you see that hoodie wearing boy in the cafeteria just now? How utterly unfashionable he was, and that inelegant scarf"

"And that Zombie shuffle, ugh!" Photo Finish sniffed in concurrence with her companion's assesment; "Although there may be something in him that I...Photo Finish, could use for my next project, yes."

As the couple sauntered off down the hall, Twilight turned to Applejack;

"Well, I guess even zombies get hungry."

***

The lunch crowd had left for classes when the trio entered the cafeteria.

"Black hoodie...Black hoodie...Fluttershy, that him?"

Applejack didn't wait for an answer. Instead, she tugged her hat low over her brow and marched straight at the boy who was shuffling down the tables towards the doors that they came through.

"Hey zombie boy!" Applejack shouted as she sped into a jog, her hand out in the universal sign for 'stop right there or I'll punch you on the nose'.

Zombie boy did not stop, nor did he give any indication that he heard Applejack, instead he just kept on shuffling forward, head bent over his chest and gloved hands vised around the strap of his sling bag slung across his chest. He bobbed and swayed with each shuffling step he took, as if he was moving to a beat that only he could hear, otherwise, zombie boy made no sound save for the scuff, scuff of his battered sneakers on the cafeteria floor. It was an unnerving sight which made Twilight and Fluttershy hesitate as they trailed in Applejack's wake.

But what unnerves others only makes Applejack angrier.

"Dang it I said. Stop!"

Applejack's hand came into contact with zombie boy's shoulder, and as if zapped by a bolt of lightning, shot off her feet and was flung backwards with her hand still glued to her opponent's shoulder. Regaining her balance Applejack shot forward with her left hand now gripping zombie boy's collar, letting loose with a cross free handed, a closed fist that turned into an open hand when she hit the floor.

The pain was short, sudden and swift, biting through her wrist and driving deep into the bone, a smothered scream escaping her lips as she was pressed into the ground by a mountain suddenly dumping itself on to her shoulders. The pain gave out just then as the force was suddenly taken of her, so Applejack shot back to her feet, only to find herself looking at Twilight and Fluttershy fast receding into the distance, standing upside down as if their feet were glued to the ceiling, in a inexplicable state of weightlessness that ended when she crash landed after a brief lesson in aerodynamics and physics.

Horseshoes barn danced across her eyes as Twilight rushed over to the crash site, a slightly out of breath and jiggling Fluttershy trailing behind.

"Applejack! Goodness are you alright!?"

Fluttershy came huffing and jiggling along; "Fluttershy, Applejack's gone all southern again."

Applejack scrambled to her feet to see zombie boy shuffle off with everyone in the cafeteria giving him as wide a berth as possible.

Applejack jammed her hat back onto her flight-mussed hair; "Boy, unless you realize. This. Means. War."

Twilight was at a total loss, torn between her friends and the mysterious zombie boy. She could not believe that anyone could hurt Pinkie Pie unless it was an accident, but the evidence was undeniable, especially since she just saw one of the strongest girls in Equestria University get hurled the length of the cafeteria like a football over the pitch. This new student was dangerous.

"Well, I see that you have had the pleasure of Pleasure."

The voice sounded like velvet mixed with a cup of gravel and dunked in milk chocolate. Twilight turned her attention away from Applejack, who was busy swatting away Fluttershy's nervous administrations with her hat, towards another boy, tall and broad, with close cropped, sliver hair wearing a white turtleneck and cargo pants. His most striking features were his eyes, one a clear, sparkling grey, the other an opaque, lifeless white.

"Excuse me, but do we know you?" comprehension dawned on Twilight as her mind registered what the newcomer just said; "Wait, you know zombie boy?."

Behind her, a happy Fluttershy had started sticking band-aids on a thoroughly abashed Applejack's arm.

The newcomer laughed; "Zombie boy? now that has a ring to it." reaching out a hand, he pulled Twilight to her feet;

"Like I said, you have just had the pleasure of meeting Pleasure, and you could say he is known to me." Grasping Twilight's hand in a warm, rough grip the newcomer continued; "My name is Sade Nelson, and if you are going after Pleasure, you will most definitely need my help."

Friendship and Zombie part 2

Students milled in pairs or groups along the halls as classes concluded for the day. Sown amongst the seniors were parcels of boys and girls with name tags on their chests, taking in their surroundings with naked curiosity bright behind eyes that were continuously surprised while student guides guided their charges through the crowd, keeping up a torrent of chatter that seemed inexhaustible, despite having been talking since the day began. This made the freshmen easy to distinguish from the seniors, after all, the seniors had more than enough time to get acquainted with their surroundings.

"This is hopeless!"

Applejack swiped her hat off her head in frustration as she beheld the swollen torrent that was the student body;

"How're we to find zombie boy in this mess!"

"You won't." Sade stated, voice steady despite his mounting impatience; "Pleasure won't be caught dead in a place like this."

Twilight turned away from the seething mass;

"But all the new students are currently on the orientation tour, which, based on the schedule, is passing by us now," Twilight spread her arms helplessly; "Pleasure has to be here."

Sade winced as someone screeched into his ear;

"Pleasure won't be here, trust me."

"That's a tad hard, considering we don't rightly know you well enough." Applejack drawled in reply.

"But I know Pleasure," Sade sighed; "And say what you want, but Pleasure won't be here."

"Then where could he be?"

Fluttershy squeaked as everyone turned to face her; "Oh! sorry."

"Well I could have just taken you girls to where he is, but someone doesn't trust me."

Applejack folded her arms and let loose a sharp huff.

Twilight dug out her phone as its strident buzz filled the space, she scrolled through the message displayed on its screen, then flipped the phone closed when she was done.

"Rainbow Dash found him."

Sade's smile was one of triumph.

"Let me guess, the library?"

***

"The Library." Sade grinned at Applejack, who was pointedly not looking back at him; "Told you."

"Guys! Over here!"

Twilight led them over to where Rainbow Dash was standing.

"Black hood and scarf right?" Rainbow Dash jerked her thumb at the glass doors that formed the entrance to Equestria University's main library; "He just went in there."

Twilight turned to Sade; "Alright, what's the plan?"

"Just take me to the section where no one ever goes, I'll take it from there."

A gust of cold air welcomed the group as they stepped into the chilled confines, protected from the heat by powerful air conditioners and screened by doors of strong glass. The place was packed with tour groups and seniors wandering through the various exhibits that were arrayed in the main foyer. Sculptures and paintings were displayed at  planned intervals and punctuated by smaller pieces such as scale models or pieces of pottery and the rare poem, framed up in glass to protect it from the elements.

The centrepiece, a short, black cocktail dress designed and created specially for orientation week, stole everyone's attention and breath away, even as Twilight led everyone through the maze of bodies, they found themselves stopping a moment to admire the silken creation.

"Man, Rarity always outdoes herself."

Even Sade couldn't help but agree with Rainbow Dash's assessment.

They had the next lift all to themselves as Twilight hit a button and sent the lift lurching upwards to their destination.

"So Sade," Twilight asked, just to break the silence; "How do you know Pleasure?"

Everyone's ears pricked up.

"Ours was a relationship that had some loose ends that needed tying up." The lift shuddered to a halt; "Ah, here we are."

The library consisted of three floors, and the third floor was where all the good books were, treatises and manuscripts translated into multiple languages covering a wide number of topics, from the sciences to the arts, from old myths to history modern and ancient when the world was young. It was why the library's third floor was called the 'scholar's stable', for only scholars have the need to set foot here.

As the group stepped out onto the stable, Twilight breathed in the scent of old paper and luxuriated in the air heavy with knowledge and purpose.

Before them, planted just beyond the lift lobby, was the reading area, a wide space laid with gleaming wood paneling and dotted, at irregular intervals, with beautiful statutes of birds, beasts and men that served both as furniture and decoration. Unlike the other floors which used fluorescent bulbs for light, the stable was illuminated by a bulb which emitted a softer light that was less straining to the eye and gave the place a sense of warmth and coziness that was lacking in the other floors. Specially carved casings of green and yellow covered these bulbs, breaking up the light so that it would fall onto the floor in dappled shades and patterns, the effect of which caused the entire place to look like a clearing in the middle of a lush forest.

Applejack wasn't impressed; "Alright, we're here, where is he?"

The sound of leather scuffing the carpet echoing across the stable preceded Pleasure as he stepped out from the forest of shelves into the reading area, footsteps silenced as he shuffled off the carpet and onto the wooden floor. His head, still hooded but now bereft of his scarf, was bent low over a copy of what Twilight guessed was an old German sword fighting manual, if her memory served her well.

It was many minutes before Pleasure realized he had company, lost as he was in the discovery of, it would seem, a whole new world of parchment and ink.

It was Applejack who tore him from his reverie;

"No where to run now boy! You are going down!"

"Please Applejack, allow me."

with a clattering of boots on wood, Sade stepped out onto the reading area and stopped, just in front and off to the left where Applejack stood;

"Hello Pleasure, remember me?

Pleasure didn't reply, instead he closed the book and placed it on a table carved into the shape of a rearing unicorn, keeping his head bowed so that his hood hid his eyes from view.

"Or should I call you by your old name?" Sade dipped a bow; "Black Brumby of Sandover?"

Applejack's eyes could have rolled out of her head, so wide did they pop open;

"Wait holdup, he's the Black Brumby?"

Twilight was confused, again. Seriously, she's a second year student now, will she ever learn all there is to know about Equestria University?

"Who's the Black Brumby?"

Applejack replied; "Sandover North is one of the toughest schools in Manehattan, and the Black Brumby," Applejack's gulp could be heard over in Appleloosa; "Is the toughest person there."

Rainbow Dash took up the thread; "He's a wild horse, going wherever and fighting whoever,  and anyone that goes up against him, goes down in one hit."

"That settles it, Pleasure, or Brumby or whoever, you're coming with us." Applejack declared as she pushed past Sade; "You gotta answer for what you did to Pinkie!"

Sade reached out and smacked Applejack as she walked by him and in the blink of an eye, wrapped his arms around her throat and shoved her in between him and Pleasure before anyone could react.

Sade smiled as held Applejack close;

"Smells like apples. Nice."

Applejack jumped as Sade rested his head on her shoulder and breathed in the scent wafting from her hair.

"Don't worry Pleasure," Sade cooed as he wrapped a strand of woven gold around his finger; "I won't hurt her, I just want your undivided attention, that's all." Sade pursed his lips in thought; "No, actually I also want her to shut up for awhile, so annoying, blabbing and blabbing away in that ridiculous accent of hers."

Tracing a line along Applejack's cheek, Sade continued. Whether to Pleasure, Twilight or himself, no one knew;

"See? now that is so much better. Peace and quiet. Isn't that what you like? Oh wait," Sade chuckled as he contemplated a joke that only he understood; "You don't like anything do you? In fact, you HATE everything. Isn't that why you became the Brumby in the first place?"

Sade laughed again, a throaty purr that sent shivers down Applejack's spine as she whimpered in fear;

"Look at you now Pleasure, the Black Brumby, actually worried about this pitiful little girl. Don't deny it, I see the way you look at her, how tensed up you are now, when before you wouldn't even have bothered to close whatever precious little book you were reading at the time." He shook is head in mock pity; "The rumors were true then, you've lost your edge.

Before you were pathetically dangerous, fighting and destroying for your own petty desires." The purr dropped an octave, turning into a growl of frustration soaked with pity and derision; "Now, you're just pathetic."

Sade shoved Applejack straight at Pleasure, who shot forward and caught her in his arms as he twisted his body sideways, placing himself in the path of Sade's thunderous roundhouse kick instead of Applejack's. The impact was an explosion in the quiet, confines of the stable and the sound of flesh crashing onto the floor was loud enough to draw startled shouts and gasps from the students on the second floor.

Sade burst out laughing.

"MAN OH MAN! Now that was a kick!"

Drunk on the rush, arms thrown up into the air, Sade did not notice Twilight and Rainbow Dash sneaking behind him and dragging a stunned Applejack back to the lift lobby;

"Weak Pleasure! Weak! There's a new Brumby in town and his name is. Sade. Nelson!"

"Now that's hardly an improvement,"

There was a hint of the melodious in the words that interrupted Sade's triumph;

"I mean, has anyone ever told you that your name sounded stupid?"

Sade's next words came out as a strangled gasp as Pleasure climbed back up to his feet. His hood had fallen back around his neck, revealing a fringed crew cut covering a perfectly rounded head and framing a pair of clear, black eyes. Pleasure's face, which should have been bruised at the very least, was unmarred and whole, the kick having had no visible effect.

"Ukemi?" Sade's face looked like it had been dipped in bleach; "Impossible."

"Oh and by the way. I didn't change." Pleasure cracked the bones of his neck; "I just became better."

"You. Filthy. DOG!"

Sade bellowed and charged, an attack as desperate as it was futile, Pleasure didn't even bother dodging. Spreading his arms instead Pleasure met Sade's assault with a hug, spun and flipped Sade over his hip and drove his opponent straight into the ground. This impact was heard by everyone in the library's main foyer, a blade that cut through three whole floors and was still loud enough to silence everyone who was packed into the place.

Pleasure looked down at the one who would be the next Black Brumby, sobbing and writhing in pain. Words failed him as he looked down at the pathetic mess rolling on the ground, so he sighed and got up dusting his knees as he went.

"I'm...not...the only one..." Sade gasped from the floor; "They...will come...for you."

Pleasure said, as much to Sade as to himself; "Let them."

The last of Sade's strength left him and he passed out as Pleasure regarded him over his shoulder.

Crouched at the side of the elevator across the reading area, Fluttershy was hugging a hysterical Applejack, doing her best to comfort her whilst Twilight and Rainbow Dash looked on.

"May I?" Pleasure asked as he approached.

Fluttershy scooted aside to allow Pleasure to examine Applejack's face, which looked unharmed save for a bright purple bruise mottled across her jaw, but the moment his hand reached out, Applejack lunged and clamped her teeth onto the offending appendage. It took everyone's combined strength just to pry her loose.

"Stay away from me!"

Applejack screamed as she pushed herself back against the wall she had been sitting against; "Don't touch me! Don't ever show your face before me ever again!"

All coherent thought was torn away as a paroxysm of sobs and whimpers drove Applejack deeper into Fluttershy's arms.

Twilight placed a hand on Pleasure's shoulder; "Get out of here Pleasure," She nodded towards the elevator; "Before anyone else shows up."

"What?"

"I'll handle the explanations, having you around would just complicate matters."

Pleasure nodded, and throwing his hood over his head again, stood and turned to go. What else could he say?

"I didn't punch your friend."

Well, that would have to do.

***

The weather around here was foul.

First hay fever, then runny nose, followed by a cold that peaked at an even 40 degrees, It was in this illness-addled state that Pleasure shuffled into Equestria University for his first day of school.

A good start.

All around him, Pleasure could hear the whispers and stares as he walked, he knew he looked like some crazed terrorist, or just plain crazed, but pride had to be sacrificed for the sake of being able to get out of bed. He was determined to get a good, fresh start in a brand new school and he will do it even if he had to roll himself in on a wheelchair and drip Red Bull directly into his veins.

Suddenly, Pleasure found himself being wrenched sideways, turning around, he beheld the crazed, pink haired assailant, grinning maniacally at him and pointing some kind of weapon straight at his face.

All trace of illness and lethargy was burned away as the fire of instinct and training purged his body clean of all toxins, deflecting the weapon hand up and to his side, Pleasure stepped in and whipped the entirety of his upper body into a full 180 degrees turn. The combined force of his upper body was brought to bear on his unbalanced foe and she was sent flying into a group of students who were juggling footballs around. It was quite a mess.

Pleasure's first instinct was to step forward and render assistance, but as fatigue flooded his veins again, Pleasures just sighed, shook his head, and shuffled on his way.

***

Epilogue:

Pleasures threw back his hood and took a deep breath of the chilly autumn air, allowing the breeze to prick his face with thin needles of ice and fire. Today is the day! he exulted, today he would be going to a new school and starting his new life. The Black Brumby of Sandover is no more, now begins the days of Pleasure Burdens, freshman student of Equestria University, the most interesting university in all of Equestria.

His good mood lasted until he saw a pair of girls take one look at him and scurried off, whispering something about the 'Black Brumby of Sandover'

Sighing, Pleasure threw his hood back over his head.

Guess a week wasn't long enough to forget huh?

Well that's a given, fighting in the library and hurting two of the most popular seniors in school, its surprising that the principle hadn't just kicked him out and be done with it. Adjusting the strap of his backpack, Pleasure shrugged and headed off, he was going to have to owe Twilight Sparkle a favor for what she had done for him, although it did beg the question, how did Twilight explain Sade Nelson?

"I like your hood."

Pleasure whirled around.

Facing him, dressed in a dull grey sweater with muffins held in each hand, was a cute blonde who would have been beautiful if it weren't for her walled eyes.

"I'm Ditzy, but my friends call me Derpy."

Pleasure cocked his head to the side; "You do know that there are certain implications to that particular designation?"

Ditzy just stared by way of reply.

They stayed like that for a long while, before Ditzy offered him one of her uneaten muffins; "You look hungry, wanna walk to school together?"

Pleasure cocked his head to the side again, he had a feeling that he would be doing a lot of that in the near future.

"Yeah," Pleasure accepted the proffered pastry; "Okay."

Fin

Pleasure in Writing

"Next please."

A.K Yearling smiled at the little girl wearing a battered old safari hat, exchanging a few words as she signed off on the girl's copy of Daring Do's latest adventure. The day was half gone but the line of fans and readers hoping to meet their idol was still as long as when the book-signing began, well whatever, it was lunch time and even authors needed to eat, placing the 'gone to lunch' sign on the table, Yearling began to pack up her things as the fans groaned and broke apart, making their way to their own lunches or to other stands where the authors had not gone to lunch, and at the annual literary summit in Canterlot, there were plenty of them to go around.

Jamming her hat onto her black mane and wrapping her favorite, purple shawl around her neck, Yearling was just about to leave when a nasal whine caught her attention;

"Excuse me? Ms Yearling? A moment of your time if you please?"

Yearling sighed as the fan came round to her front, and gulped as his bulk towered a half-head over her as he waddled into view;

"Ms Yearling, I just wanted to discuss some plot points that I feel you have, understandably, muddled up in your latest novel."

Yearling stifled the groan that had almost burst from her lips, keeping her tone reasonable, though in her mind she was anything but, Yearling looked up at the fan and replied;

"Well that is very interesting but I'm afraid that I have other engagements that demand my attention,"

Yearling began Edging around the mound of fat that made up most of the fan himself;

"Any queries can be posted onto my website..."

"But Ms Yearling!"

The sweat and fat that fell onto her bronze, muscular arm was a cold, oily mass that sent a ripple of revulsion through the very core of her being, but her attempts to pull away only served to further enrage the mountain of flesh that had her in it's grip;

"Umm...excuse me?"

At this point, Yearling's predicament had begun to draw attention from the other fans at the summit, but out of the hundreds of attendees, it seems only one had the guts to do something about it.

"Sorry for bothering the both of you," The fan released his grip and turned to the newcomer, allowing Yearling to clear as much distance as she could between her and the irate fan; "But Ms Yearling was supposed to meet me for lunch...?"

The 'lunch date' excuse? That's...kind of cute.

Unfortunately, the fan did not buy into that;

"Please sir, as if the esteemed Ms Yearling would be caught dead standing next to you," The fan sniffed, flicking the newcomer's shoulder dismissively as he continued; "And who are you supposed to be dressed as? The Grim reaper?"

"Comfortably as possible, actually." The newcomer was seemingly unperturbed by the fan's aggressive proximity, as if the threat of imminent violence was as much a part of his life as having three square meals a day;

"And you are bothering Ms Yearling."

The fan's volume jumped up an octave in an attempt to intimidate;

"Sir."

Thrusting his beet-red jowls right into the newcomer's hood covered visage, the fan continued;

"This is a matter of utmost importance, the very fabric of the literary universe that Ms Yearling has created is under grave threat, a threat that must be resolved immediately before it is too late!"

The fan had started bellowing, to Yearling's great consternation;

"Now sir, there are two options available to you, get out of my way," The fan ticked off a finger; "Or better yet, get the buck out of my way. Your choice."

The fan folded his arms, waiting for the newcomer's reply.

The newcomer tugged his hood so that the black fabric would fall and cover his face;

"How about a third option? Leave on your feet, or leave under mine."

The fan's eyes widened a split second before his right fist exploded into motion.

Yearling had no idea what happened next, it was as if the seconds that occurred between the fan's wild haymaker and him going airborne in a tangle of limbs and flesh had just winked out of existence. All Yearling could gather was an impression of unstoppable fluidity, an inexorable current that had went beyond mere physical strength, pure power that allowed the newcomer to overcome the weight disadvantage and sweep the overabundance of excess of its feet, so terrible was the impact when the fan hit the floor that it was as if the newcomer was trying to drive the burden of blubber straight into the red carpeting, through the crust of the earth and into its molten core.

The summit's security chose that moment to arrive, and Yearling finally remembered to breathe as both the newcomer and the fan were buried under a mountain of bodies.

***

The room was an old storeroom re-purposed for use as a place where summit attendees could rest for a moment if they were feeling under the weather. Despite the thorough scrubbing the place had obviously received, Yearling could still see the signs of storage that no amount of cleaning could erase, outlines left in the wall where dust had not touched and a few stray boxes that were lying forlornly in a corner.

"Ms Yearling? Is everything alright?"

"Yes, thanks." Yearling replied, forcing a tired smile onto her razor-sharp features, which she hoped wasn't as pale as she felt;

"Is everything alright out there Jameson?"

"Oh aye, everything is cleared up." Jameson perched himself on a spare chair and pressed a bottle of water into Yearling's hand;

"Tubby had been sent packing and security has calmed everyone else. I asked them to give you some time to yourself to pull yourself together after that dreadful scare, if you get my drift."

Yearling patted Jameson's hand in thanks, she wouldn't trade her faithful manservant for all the gold in the world.

"Wait! what about the person wearing the hood?" a few drops of water splashed onto her blouse; "I've got to thank him for his help!"

"Woah, easy there Yearling," Jameson slowly pressed her back into her chair;

"The security sent him packing together with Tubby once they were escorted out the premises," Jameson continued; "I tried to protest but..."

"Oh, he deserved better than that." Yearling sighed.

"Well he did ask me to give you this."

Yearling took the envelope that and Jameson had given her, and with practiced movements, slit it open. A CD case tumbled out onto Yearling's palm, followed by a plain white card that had been attached to the case's cover, which had been dislodged from its perch.

Yearling didn't know when the tears came, she only knew she was crying when Jameson placed a worked-roughened palm on her shoulder, frantically asking her if she was alright.

Taking a deep breath, Yearling swiped the tears from her rose-red eyes, tucked the CD case into her handbag and got to her feet;

"Thank you for your help Jameson, but I must be going, my fans need me."

And with a sweep of her shawl, Yearling was gone.

Bewildered, Jameson picked up the dropped card, and smiled as he read its contents.

"Guess there ARE those kinds of people in this world."

***

Dear Ms Yearling;

This is a just a token of my appreciation, I picked the songs based on your Facehoof profile, but God knows how unreliable they can be.

There is no need for any repayment or anything of the sort. This is just something that I would like to do, to thank you for your work, and for the stories that have been a major influence on my life.

Through your words you have blessed many, now allow me to be a little blessing on you.

The Pleasure will always be mine;

Burdens.

***

"Hey Pleasure! Look!"

Derpy came running down the aisle to place a copy of Daring Do's latest story onto the table where Pleasure had half his assignment strewn across its surface, totally ignoring Ms Cheerilee's dirty look;

"You're in the story! Look!"

Pleasure scanned the passage Derpy had indicated, where Daring Do was being assisted by a man wearing a black hood throwing the blind cannibals of the deeps left, right and center in a blur of motion, like an inexorable force of nature, the eye in a maelstrom of violent, physical chaos.

Turning to the front, Pleasure read the dedication that was printed just inside the cover;

Dedicated to the people who makes writing a 'Pleasure'

"Seriously Derpy, you're reading too much into things.

Fin