Home.
The place I even once called home. The only place where my subjects confided with me with every step, they who trusted me to defend them, they who stood by me in times of turmoil. And I just left them... I left them to die, to fend for themselves, to throw themselves into the fire. I didn't even look back. I could still hear the screams for help... the clash of metal and the suffocating smell of gunpowder. I could have at least stayed, and fall together with the rest.
But I didn't. I was afraid of dying. I was weak, and although my subjects spoke highly of me, I was in fact a coward. I didn't dare look at my subjects in the eye and tell them I'll protect them. That they are safe...
I just didn't.
I became the ruler of Equila at a young age of 14, after my father entrusted me with the empire he so had molded and shaped in the course of his life. I promised him I'll continue his legacy, I promised him on his deathbed. I promised...
But I didn't deliver. I wasn't capable, even with the finest advisers all just seemed too complex for me. I should be studying and practicing arcane magic and combat. But now I had to juggle that with the affairs of the empire, both diplomatic and internal. I didn't like the weight on my shoulders. I didn't consider the consequences. I wasn't ready to govern a nation. I was young. I was just a unicorn. I wasn't immortal, I wasn't a goddess.
I never even made the effort to go into the town and greet my fellow citizens, I was buried in my own work in my own room, sometimes for days without coming out, without seeing a single face. All for the benefits of no other than my own. Yet my subjects praised me for my kindness, for my generosity that I never shown them. The advisers did all the work.
When my father passed. He left me an empire, he left me the lives of hundreds of thousands of ponies who wept when their king fell. But they were hopeful, they had dreams of a thriving nation forged with their hooves, that I would push them into a new era. But I didn't
I just didn't.
The empire advanced even when I didn't, I was left behind. Houses made of stone and bricks, aqueducts towering over gorges, farms producing the finest grains. Walls constructed and strengthened to defend us from the outside. The ponies of Equila moved on. But I was oblivious, I was blind. I did not see the significance of their efforts until everything fell apart. I took things for granted.
It's too late, isn't it?
Four years now. I've had time to think, I had nowhere to stay, I was alone and scared for the first time. For the first time since my father died, I cried. I cried myself to sleep every night. In the dark forests, curled up to nothing but my coat, the silent eerie whistle of the winds tickled my fur, the howling of the wolves sent chills through my bone. I could still feel it.
I came to a small town called Bridlewood after two weeks alone in the open. I was welcomed warmly by the residents and chief. Something I never got to feel. The warmth of the neighbors, the cheerful atmosphere of the town. I didn't even care that I wasn't the princess anymore. I feel loved, I feel the care and conviction that I failed to show my subjects. I looked back, back to when my empire still stands. I wished for time to rewind so I could amend the giant crevice that I had left and abandoned. But we all know that is not possible.
The chief invited me to stay. No words could describe how guilty and happy I felt at that time. I cried. I didn't dare tell her who I really am, I was ashamed of myself, I don't deserve the title as princess. Out here, I was just a normal pony. She didn't ask me, she just gave me the keys to my new place. I couldn't believe it, I was a mere stranger but yet she treated me as their own. I ran to my new home, crying pathetically as I did.
I vowed to help the townfolk as best as I could. There was still chance for redemption, I decided to do some good for once.
My mind was etched onto Equila. I've thought of going back, but I'd never had the courage to do so. Why look back when everything's gone? I should just leave it behind me and get on with my new life here. But the past just comes back for you. You can't escape it. For four years I've had nightmares, even though I thought I'd forgotten it all. I could hear the burning... screaming... My heart was never lifted. It always felt heavy.
I didn't even say goodbye.
I decided to reveal myself to the chief, explaining all that happened. She didn't believe it until I'd shown her my royal necklace, hidden away under the coat I've sought shelter from; it kept me warm, it kept me company, but most importantly it reminded me of home...
She told me to go back to say my farewells. Something I've avoided myself from even thinking. But I've dragged it for long enough, I can't escape from my destiny. I'd be heartless. It's time for me to bid my empire goodbye. To end this chapter in history.
And here I am. Staring into the rubble of mossy stone that was once part of a wall and the entrance to the empire. My heart sank, heavy and cold. A tear escaped from my eyes, dripping down my cheek as I stifled a breath. The air hung stale; the smell of rotting grass and corpses lingering. The broken path beneath my hooves were jagged and rough. I looked back, back into the misty ridge, a narrow path shrouded the existence of the mountain.
I looked over to the farmhouses and mills. They had long burned down and torn down. Charred and moldy, the wooden walls slowly rotted away. The fields were bare and weeds sprouted from the burnt soil, invading the pasture with a stretch of green tangles. Once was the production of wheat and grains, sow and harvested by pony hooves; golden and swaying in the wind. My mind flashed back into reality as I turned away from the farm. The meadow which fillies and colts pranced about, playing like the young kids they are, running to and fro as families picnicked on the soft tender grass, chattering and laughing. There was no grass here. All have been engulfed by flames and long decomposed. Just like the families that once sat here.
The empire had forgotten itself. I had forgotten it. The trees, the flowers, the grass. All seemed empty, all seemed incomplete. In this broken empire; no trees grew, no flowers bloomed, and the grass remained dead. A blanket of dark grey overrun the once pure lands, covering it in dust and smoke. Slowly blowing away, slowly sweeping away. Layer by layer, accelerated with time and age.
The path in front of me ended in a stretch of dirt. The stones which had made up the once cobbly path are now buried or strewn away. I put a hoof on the dried mud, looking ahead at the rows of decrepit houses; brick houses, wooden houses. All had been washed away in the rain. And time took its toll. Most of them had collapsed, leaving behind it a pile of rubble and debris. The foundations still stood, mostly. Hammered and constructed with their own hooves; their hopes and dreams crumbled together with their home. Their fruition lay in waste. Their families broken and lost in the wind.
I shut my eyes and tried not to think about it. But I can't... I can't just tell myself that nothing happened at all even though I wasn't there to see it. I didn't want to see it. The mothers that chided their kids when they stayed out for too late, the blissful chat of a family, huddled together for dinner. As the candles which gave out the only source of light in their cozy household melted away, so did the existence of the once pleasant community.
As I shot back into reality, my heart wrenched painfully, palpitating rapidly against my rib cage with an acute thumping sound. I took a deep breath and glanced around. There was no light... The candles had melted away long ago, along with the inhabitants that it once provided them with warmth and a glow of hope.
There was no sound of children, no sound of cheerful laughter. The air was dry and heavy. The breeze whistled in the wind as I pulled my coat tighter around me.
I felt lonely. I felt lost. This was my empire. Those who had sacrificed themselves for my sake, for the sake of their nation. They have died in vain. They died for nothing. But they will never know... for the void separated them from their homes, their broken city which they had so painfully built. All I can do is watch as my empire slowly faded away, to be forgotten in time... To be lost and told as a fairy tale. Of which never existed.
I casually trotted into the city's main thorough-fare. My head slowly drooped as I walked past the lifeless street. Everything seemed dark, quiet... and dead. A sinister bleak force emanating from the corners as the shadows licked the edges of the houses. I could feel it sweeping past my hooves. I felt queasy, I was scared. I was scared from something that doesn't exist anymore.
A sudden gust of chilling wind blew my long mane to the side of the face, I grasped my red scarf and drew it tighter around my neck. beneath it was my royal seal, a seal made of gold with a shiny gem embedded in the middle. The same seal put on my neck on the day of my coronation. I was princess as long as the seal stayed on my neck. I was willing to let go of my past after today. The slate will be wiped clean. I will be free.
I will remove the seal.
The marketplace. A bustling place filled with ponies bartering and going about their routine shopping. Vendors and shophouses opened for business. I avoided this place, for it is too rowdy for a princess like myself. But I missed the rambunctious atmosphere here, filled with life and personality. Where friends meet and shop owners exchanged dialogues. Now... it's all gone. Quiet like a cemetery in the dark of night. The windows of the shop houses were shattered, the fruits and vegetables have long decomposed, as well as the ponies who had their lives burnt away from the fiery blaze. Their lives scattered into the air.
Ashes to ashes... Dust to dust...
The whole place was engulfed in a roiling cloud of darkness and animosity. Threatening to strangle me as I walked into it, I could almost touch the mist, sending it swirling as I waved my hoof over the air. I tried to keep the frantic screaming and cries for help from piercing into my head. My eyes welled up from the intoxicating smoke and the persistent voices that haunt me.
The stone path fragmented as dirt spilled through the cracks of grey and black. I could remember this part of the city. This is where I was paraded on the day of coronation. As oil lanterns hung on the side of the road, some toppled and others just disappeared into thin air. I could still see the hundreds and thousands of ponies cheering and clopping their hooves together as the royal seal was presented to me. They cheered for me... Yet I've failed them.
I walked on, the sword on my belt scraping the patchy ground behind me. I remembered standing right in the middle of the square. I remembered the speech I gave, of which I never wrote. The lies I've unknowingly promised, the promise for a better tomorrow which I never gave...
As I approached my acropolis, I paused for a second, looking back. Thinking back; thinking about all the things I saw today. The lives I've ruined... they must hate me. They hate me. My eyes watered as I left the desecrated city under my hooves. I turned to peer at the spires that once stood on the castle, tall and cold like icy mountains that cleave the sky in half. The tower had fallen, leaving a huge gaping hole in the side.
I took a deep breath and stepped into the darkness of the palace courtyard. Just as I laid a hoof on the slabs, the sky began rumbling as mists of rain sprinkled on the spigots and mounting brackets of a marble fountain. The creepers and weeds crawling on the marble fountain, which has the faded radiance of the once grandiose, a work of art. I shuffled through the sheltered walkway as the sky outside turned to a deep rumbling grey, greatly complementing the gloomy atmosphere of the crumbled castle.
The skeletons lying against the wall seem to stare at me dead in the eye, as if blaming me for their deaths. But they were right. I did. I can't deny that.
I pushed the heavy mahogany door leading to the grand hallways. It creaked open, the cobwebs scattering from the hinges as dust motes danced about wildly in the wind. I stepped onto the old dusty carpet and peered deeper down the hallway. The windows were shattered as huge chunks of sharp glass littered the floor. The curtains were torn to pieces, dangling and fluttering in the air. A tree has grown through the window. My hooves made a cracking sound as I trod over the dead leaves.
The hallway which I trotted down almost every day, the nitor lamps providing a magical glowing light, casting shadows which danced about the walls. The eerie feeling I get when I canter down the hallway at night or on heavy storms. It's gone. I don't feel afraid anymore, the feeling of belonging wasn't there. This was just some old hallway, decayed and corroded many a moon. The nitor had died, the carpets have seen better days, torn apart and mangled. I was cold, freezing to the sinister premonition of danger that may be lurking in the darkness. The lingering scent of death.
I carefully tread over the fallen door, leading to the main throne room. My throne. Sitting in the middle of the room, waiting to be sat on, but no... I don't deserve to sit there. I'm not a princess anymore. I'm not Princess Incendia. I'm just the normal me. I inspected my throne closely as I ran a hoof over the golden edges, now dull and scratched. The smooth red silk padding had rotted away. I pressed both of my hooves on the hoof-rests as I stared at the intricate designs of the throne. I sighed a cold deep sigh and slumped onto my haunches on the small stairs in front of the grand seat. The carpet rough and tousled on my flank.
I squeezed my eyes shut, allowing a tear to patter onto the carpet. I can't believe I was actually a princess. All those years I've done nothing, and dared claim the throne as my own. The same throne that the late king of Equila sat on, the same king that drove Equila onwards into a new age of prosperity. And yet... I'm sitting here, in my broken palace, my broken throne...
I'm not worthy...
I'm not the ruler Equila deserved.
I sat there for an hour, thinking and thinking and thinking. Deep. But no matter how I thought, how I wished, how I wanted. Things will never come back. I don't want it to come back. I shot back to existence when a crash of thunder erupted outside. I regained my vision and let the light drown me in. The banners hung high on the wall, faded and alien, just like the empire that once stood. The ceiling was intact but twisted and cracked at some points, intact yet broken, just like me, just like the empire I'd left behind
I felt the temperature plunge drastically as winds whistled through the doors and window. The cold stung me like a thousand needles pricking my skin. I laid down and pulled my coat around me, hugging my own hooves as I shivered on the carpet. I shut my eyes, lost and crippled. My body was lay weak, defeated and despondent.
I cried. I was pathetic. I was torn apart. As tears flowed down in waves, I let the warm liquid take over me, surround me, engulf me. I don't want to fight it anymore. That night, I fell asleep painfully. The nightmares intensified like never before, I convulsed, my sleep came in fits as I tried to fight out the agonizing horror that plagued me. It is killing me inside. But I was helpless against it.
Finally, it stopped. Everything was dark, but peaceful. I finally managed to get the much needed rest I require.
The warm and humid scent of petrichor woke me. The scent of the once dry soil, cleansed and purified by the rain from the empyrean. Ichor.
I got up clumsily and glanced around the throne room. I remembered what I had to do. I remembered what I was here for. To forget, to let go, to say goodbye...
I took off my scarf, revealing the golden seal around my neck. I ran a hoof over the jagged edges of the inscriptions and carvings. My eyes are fixated to the throne. I got up and slowly shuffled to the throne, putting my hoof on the rest. This was my seat. To let go, I must first embrace my true self, to accept who I am.
This was the last time I'd sit on my the throne.
I slowly put my flank on the silk seat, my head still lowered, my heart still heavy and somber. I took a deep breath and gained the courage to look up. I settled my hooves on the rest and leaned back. I let the dead air soak in as clutched my seal tightly, reluctant to do it. But I had to. That's the only way I can start again.
I got up from the seat and stood on the steps. I magically removed the seal around my neck and placed it on the seat. I was free now. I could breathe free. My chest lifted for the first time in four years. I know it was over, it was finally over.
As I trotted to the bottom of the stairs, I took one last look back, and smiled. I was willing to leave that behind. I was willing to leave my empire as just a figment of yesterday.
The cityscape disappeared in a cloud of dust. The foot of every structure in stagnation. The city is fragile, twisted by the lost dreams. The lost dream shines through the dust and death. My soul shall rest here forever, my roots will dig deeper into the soil, holding this place together. When I die, the city will sink, deep beneath the crust, hidden by impenetrable clouds of fog.
But one day, the mists shall be lifted, my empire will rise again. It might be a hundred years or even a thousand. But one day, someone will come along. Someone will pick up the pieces I'd left. Someone will pick up my seal. Hopefully, somepony will rebuilt what I'd left so broken and bleak. Tall towers shall rise into the heavens, great cities shall provide homes to the ponies. Hopefully... what I'd left will come in good.
Equila had fallen. But a new empire will emerge on its place. Fullfilling the dreams and hopes I've failed to achieve.
I won't be there to see it.
As I left my empire. My heart, heavy and cold as iron, finally lifted. I turned to look back as tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably. I was free. I could live my own life now. The nightmares will stop. I am not a princess anymore. As I walked over towards the ridge, I stopped.
One last time.
I looked back one last time, a soft 'goodbye' escaping from my muzzle.
My name is Incendia. And I was free, a new chapter had opened up for me. Living my life as an equal to everypony else. I was happy. The past is the past. I've made mistakes, but I know time has forgiven me. I can start anew. But most importantly...
My forgotten empire will soar again. In time.
Author's Note
My first go at a short narrative. Constructive criticism on any improvements are always welcome.
