Lonesome Years

by 2006midnight

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Dark, Sad, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Tragedy
Length: 1285

Some of Luna's thoughts on one of the days that she is on the moon.

Luna ponders what she has done by becoming Nightmare Moon, and what she wishes could happen.

Published 2014-07-18 23:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-18 23:00:01 UTC

I'll Be Holding on Forever

Princess Luna looked out across the surface of the moon. She saw the same craters, same contours, same everything that she had been seeing for years. I've been here for almost five hundred years sister. I know that this is completely and totally my fault. All my fault for not being able to control my emotions. Believe me when I say that I wish I could've. But what's done is done. I can only hope that someday, if it could ever be possible for me to return to Equestria that I can make things right.

The princess of the night began to walk, as she had done many times before throughout the numerous centuries she had spent on her celestial body. She strode through the barren landscape of the moon, passing all the craters and contours that had become her home. It's foolish of me to think this, I know, but sometimes I get so lonely here Tia. And I just...I just wish you were here. I know you probably hate me for what I did, and, in truth, I would hate me too. But still, I miss you. Being here has made me realize just how wrong I was, how much I love you. You're my sister Tia, and, if I'm honest with myself, I'm nothing without you.

Tears began to well up in Luna's eyes, and yet, she makes no attempt to wipe them away. We were meant to rule together Tia. I see that now; I see that we're equals. And yet, our subjects never saw it that way. They, like me, could never see the truth. You know why? Because even though we are equals when it comes to ruling Equestria, that still doesn't change that you are weak. Without the Elements of Harmony you could not have defeated me. Just like how Sombra defeated you, leaving me to do the dirty work. Your weakness earned me my reputation for being dark, cold, forbidding, and, to some, frightening. If you weren't such a perfect picture of a dainty little princess then maybe out subjects would have seen us as something much closer to equals. Not just the 'nice princess of the day' and the 'monster'. If you actually had a backbone, then I wouldn’t be here right now. I wouldn’t have had to become Nightmare Moon. A sob reverberated throughout the entirety of the empty space on and around the moon. I saw you cry as you took up the Elements of Harmony. It might have only been a few tears, but they were there. And they were enough.

Enough to make me realize what I’d done. To realize how wrong I was. And to remember. To remember who I truly was. Who I truly am. For I am no monster. Luna raised her tearstained face and looked out across the empty void of space towards Equestria. “I’m so sorry, sister. I only wanted to be loved as you were. I never meant for it to go this far.”

I’ve gotten tired of crying Tia. I don’t want to listen to my sobs any longer. All I want is a chance to atone for my mistakes. And yet, I don’t know if I can. I’m scared Tia, scared that I’ve lost my chance. That you no longer care for me. That you might not even want me back. But then I remember the look in your eyes as you used the Elements against me. I saw how torn you were, torn between your own personal desires, and your desire to do what was best for Equestria. And when I remember that, I know that you never hated me, not once. That no matter what I did, you would always love me. Just like I would always love you. At that moment, Luna swung her piercing, teal gaze towards the sun. “Yes, Tia. I love you. More than anything.” And it tears my heart to pieces.

I remember everything clearly now. Now that I’ve had all these years to think. I remember all the times when I would dream of something wild, when I would get angry, or terrified, and even when I felt helpless. And each and every time, you were there for me. You would hold me if I needed you too, you would let me cry into your fur if it would help, you would show me the way when I was lost. No matter what it was, you were patient, you were the only constant, stable being in my life, and now, now you’re gone. And it’s now, now more than ever, that I need you. If only you were here, to hold me tight, like you did when we were young, then maybe I’d be okay. Cause I’d never let go. “I’d never, ever let go, Tia. I’d be holding on forever.” And I’d hope you would as well. We’d only be making it right, since you can never go wrong with love. Together we can do anything, anything at all Tia. If only I could have seen this sooner. Your love is like a shadow cast constantly on me. I wish I could’ve seen that this kind of shadow, is the best kind. But I didn’t; instead, I threw it all away. And now, I don’t know what to do. I really need you tonight, just like I’ll need you forever.

Once I had a life, a life full of love. Yet now, I’m shattering into a million pieces. There’s nothing I can do. At least not for a couple more centuries. Nothing at all. Except cry, and dream.

Once there was a bright, shining sun in my life. But now there are only memories. Only memories of the love shown to me by that sun. Just memories in the dark. There’s nothing I can say. Nothing at all can change my fate.

“Oh, Tia, what have I done?” I know you’ll never quite be the pony you’ve always wanted to be. But I do know that you’re the only pony who saw me for who I am on the inside. For what was in my heart. I know now that there’s nopony in all of Equestria as enchanting and striking as you. There’s nothing, and nopony better than you. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do, to be able to stand at your side once more. But I’m stuck here. Stuck here while my heart slowly fractures apart.

Princess Luna closed her eyes as she whispered, “Dearest Tia, tonight I need you more than I’ve ever needed you. I need to feel your embrace once more. If only we could have stayed together forever. If only I hadn’t lost sight of what was most important. Then we’d be together. And both our hearts would still be whole.” I don’t know what to do without you. I’m surrounded by darkness. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I really need you sister. I’m falling apart.

There’s nothing I can do, nothing I can say, to change the past, but hope. Hope that when I’m able to return to Equestria that I’ll be able to fix what I broke. And that includes both our hearts Tia. Because I know the truth. I’ve had a total eclipse of the heart. One last tear slid down the night princess’ cheek, and as it landed upon the surface of the moon, it took the shape of a broken heart.

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think! I really hope that I didn't disappoint those of you who were looking forward to this sequel. And yes, there is one more sequel on the way. :raritywink: