Oh look, Equestria

by GameHunter

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Random, Human
Length: 48502

An unassuming human and his bed are transported to Equestria, but it's not all bad I guess, he got some perks on the trip over.

Tom, a 20 year old Welsh guy comes back from a night lamping trip with a friend. He goes to bed, 4:00 AM pretty much the norm. What happens when he wakes up in the magical land of Equestria full of ponies… In his own bed, in a tree?

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No, this isn't a self insert, it's something I pulled out of my rear end at the last minute. I'm kinda just going with it, here.

After much deliberation, I have removed the sex and gore tags. The reason being there won't be enough of either to warrant the tags. Yet

Yes, there will be a little gore later on. Again, the tag is merely a precaution for future updates

My first story, thought I'd pick a rather lack luster topic considering I've never done anything like this before. Criticism in all forms is more than welcome! Come all ye haters, hate on me!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-23 23:20:17 UTC

Somepony order a bed?

Oh look, Equestria

Chapter 1 - Somepony order a bed?

Our story begins with our protagonist, who goes by the name of Tom.... Yep, Tom. He's a 20 year old Welsh guy, roughly 5"11 and average build, He comes with green eyes, charcoal grey hair and an 'Oh right, that's cool' attitude. He had just arrived home after a late night soiree (shooting foxes), and was all too eager to put his rifle away and get some shut eye. His attire wasn't much to look at, he wearing some olive green construction pants, and a black T shirt underneath his thick hunting coat. He had strong, sturdy boots, and a skinning knife attached to his belt in a leather sheath.

-----

Tom walked to his front door carrying his rifle, unlocked the door and strutted in like he owned the place 'well, I kinda do....' he thought to himself. He walked into the hall, flicked on the light and made his way to the gun room. The hallway was rather bland with cream walls and cream ceiling, there was the stairs leading up to the second level on the right, and a door into the living room on the left. The gun room was situated at the end of the hall, second door on the left 'Just opposite to the kitchen, always convenient' he thought with a mental laugh.

The gun room was, well.. Bare, to say the least. There was a work bench, a 6 gun safe on the wall facing him, a few vivariums with various snakes in them on either side of the gun safe, and a telescope sitting by the far left wall doing bugger all. 'Seriously, why did I even buy that thing? It just sits there..' with a mental sigh, Tom made his way over to the gun safe and cracked it open. He unzipped his gun bag and pulled out his rifle before safely depositing it, disengaging the bolt and putting ammo in their rightful places before locking the safe back up and turning towards the door, on the way out he made sure to tuck his keys away in the little air vent behind the door before leaving the room.

"Another night of seeing fuck all, bloody typical. Clear skies, a full moon and no wind. Why did I even bother?" he brooded whilst walking up the stairs to his bedroom. His bedroom was pretty much the most decorated area of the entire house, sans the kitchen. The walls were red, ceiling was white and there was various gaming posters littering the walls. The bed was queen sized (fuck you) black leather, which a memory foam mattress and pillows. White sheets and grey bedroom curtains. Opposite the bed on the far wall was his TV, a large LCD with a little surround sound system linked to it. Shelves with DVDs stacked upon them adorned the wall to the left of the TV, and a big 2 story vivarium was off to the right, as well as his wardrobe.

"Fuck getting undressed, too tired..." he checked his pockets for anything sharp 'Nope, just my phone, tobacco and lighter'. With that last thought he promptly collapsed onto his bed, sleep coming rather quickly followed by dreams of having the power of shape shifting.

Meanwhile, in Equestria...

In the rural town of Ponyville, in an unassuming tree-brary, the resident princess Twilight Sparkle was testing a new summoning spell, with mixed results.

"UGHHHHHH! What is wrong with this spell?! I've checked, double checked and triple checked all the parameters, completed all 3 prior checklists and still it refuses to work!" Twilight sparkle half shouted as she stomped around the Golden Oaks library, digging a trench into the floor in the process".

"Twilight, you're digging a hole in the floor, again!" came a young exasperated voice from the other side of the library. "Maybe you should take a break, you look like you just went 10 rounds with a Manticore!" Spike said to his surrogate mother.

"Sorry Spike, there's no time! Prin... Celestia entrusted me with this spell and she's coming from Canterlot in a week's time to check my progress! I can't make progress if I go about my time lollygagging!" Twilight said before sighing 'But maybe he's right, this spell's been driving me up the wall for the past 3 days. And I could really go for a rest right about now'. "No, the princess is relying on me to get this spell ready i...."

"TWILIGHT!! The princess also told you to promise her to take regular breaks if you're having a hard time, and I think this qualifies". Spike said matter-of-factly.

*Sigh* "You're right Spike, I can't let it get me down." the princess of magic stated with a nod, "how about some breakfast? I could do us some pancakes!"

The little purple dragon visibly paled a few hues. "Tell you what, Twi. You go have a rest, and let me handle breakfast. I can still taste your last batch of 'pancakes'" This sent a shudder down both purple occupant's spines. "Besides, I'm sure you'll get it eventually!"

'Oh Spike, always the optimistic one' Twilight turned to her assistant with a warm smile, which he eagerly returned before dashing off into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Twilight resigned herself to take a seat near one of her bookshelves and began contemplating her next move. "Surely one last go couldn't hurt... What could possibly go wrong?" 'Pretty much everything that could, has...'

With that last thought, a pink aura surrounded the alicorn's horn, but mere nanoseconds from Twilight releasing her spell, did a metric tonne of pink fluff come barreling through the front door and straight into the purple princess. "TWITCHY TAIL!" Pinkie Pie screamed bloody murder.

"AGHHH! *KRACKABOOM*" Twilight promptly turned to shoot a death glare at the pink maniac but was interrupted by something falling on her, something big... And heavy. "PINKIE P.... *SPLAT*"

"Hi Twilight! Nice bed, but it looks like somepony's already using it..." The pink earth pony said in her usual chipper tone, before turning sheepish "ooooo, ouch... Here, let me help you.. Hehe.." she then proceeded to pull Twilight out from under the offending piece of furniture and pump the comically flat alicorn up using a bike pump she pulled out of nowhere. "There we go, aaaaaaaaaaaaaall better!"

Twilight took a moment to shake fix her double vision and glared at the earth pony "Pinkie Pie!! What the hay?!"

Pinkie pie suddenly took a massive intake of air before spouting off one of her classic Pinkie Pie rants "*Gaaaaaaaaaasp* WellIwasoveratSugarcubeCornerwatchingthetwinsforthecakeswhenallofasuddenmytailstardedtwitchingandyouknowwhatthatmeanssoItrackedthefallingthingiebackheretothelibrarywhereIbargedinhereandinterruptedyourweirdspellthingybyscreamingTWITCHYTAILasloudasIcouldandthenabedappearedaboveyouandsquishedyoubutitdidn'twaketheguyupwho'ssleepinginthebedandnowI'mhere" she ended with the biggest shit eating grin known to ponykind.

After a second to process the abomination that was un-spaced dialogue, Twilight mustered the best response she could manage: "What" Twilight Sparkle, princess of magic and former protégé of princess Celestia was dumbfounded.

Pinkie let out her fabled gigglesnort "turn around silly!" Twilight complied, arching her head around to peer behind her, what she saw had shocked her. There was a huge faux leather bed behind her, only a little smaller than what princess Celestia lay her head on. But, that wasn't all; it was the sleeping form resting atop the bed that had made Twilight freeze.

The 'thing' that was currently snoring so loud Twilight was surprised she hadn't heard it sooner, was close to 6ft in height, had two long, thick hind-legs, along with two slightly shorter fore-legs with things akin to Spike's claws on the end of them. But, as opposed to Spike's claws, these appendages were greater in number, but seemed to end in stumps. It's face was flat, it had rather small eyes (from what she could tell with its eyes currently closed) and a weird shaped muzzle in the center. It's mane was rather short and a dark charcoal in colour. The creature itself seemed to be dressed in a mix of black a undershirt, a jacket what could only be described as camouflage, thick olive green pants, and slightly dirty brown boots.

Unbeknownst to Twilight, she had summoned a human. "What" she said flatly. Spike, who had finished with the breakfast had just walked into the room when he spotted two new beings, as well as a new bed.

"Seriously?!" he shouted before stomping back into the kitchen to fix breakfast for the two new arrivals.

Wat

Oh look, Equestria

Chapter 2 - Wat

Current location - dreamy lala land, Hell

There I was, standing before the gates of hell with my adversary between me and my goal, "step aside, foul demon!" I bellowed at the abomination not even a mother could love. In short, it stood about 20 ft tall, had two huge legs thicker than my torso, and one arm of equal width brandishing a sort of cage. Where its second arm would be, was a large pulsating welt. Corpses seemingly intertwined with the beast's flesh, several "heads" filled with luminescent yellow pus, and a second cage also embedded into the growth, which housed an odd, yet equally ghastly creature. Its face, was nothing more than two tiny black eyes, and a large rotting mouth missing most of its teeth. Finally, its garment seemed to be nothing more than a few rags covering its lower half with a spiked ring around its left ankle, and a few human skulls around its midsection.

It was the Jailer.

The Jailer responded to my taunt in kind with a ground shaking roar, before barreling towards me flailing its arm wildly, trying to squash me with the cage brandished in it's right hand. I ducked under a wide swing before bolting underneath its legs, slicing at its ankles with my dual hand-scythes. The Jailer let loose a roar of agony before falling to its knees, seeing the opening I needed, I promptly dashed around to meet him head on, and quickly tore the head of the demon clean off.

"Such a pitiful gatekeeper, where are the true warriors of the realm, satan?!" I shouted in the voice of Death, from the popular game Darksiders 2™. I strode up to the gates of hell, fully intent on ripping them from their foundation. But, just as I grasped the left gate; the ground shook all across the dreamscape, yet its source seemingly nowhere to be seen. I whirled around on the spot, ripping the gate off in the process and brandishing in front of me as a makeshift shield. I scanned my surroundings, but nothing but corpses of fallen demons and barren rock were what met my gaze. 'Oh well, must've been nothing..' Shrugging it off with a thought, I turned around and carried on through the new doorway to hell.

"What the hell am I doing with this piece of shit still?" I announced before tossing the offending gate over my shoulder, upon landing a few hundred feet away with a dull thud, a small scream was heard "my leg!!". Being the badass that I was in this dream, I acted like I meant to do it. Slaying a few lesser demons, and even a carebear or two, oddly enough along the way I finally reached the castle. "About bloody time, I've got demon guts all over me... Urgh." I walked up to the doors, changing back to human form (shapeshifting dreams, so OP.) and politely knocked. It took a few seconds for the response, as the door creaked slowly open, I had to look down at the little girl in a gray dress and large, glowing yellow eyes. "Hello child, I'm here for the tea part-"

"Seriously?!" announced the creepy little girl in a rather boyish tone before rudely slamming the door in my face. All of a sudden, the dreamscape started to fall apart, slowly fading to blackness..

Twilight was confused, 30 minutes after Spike's little outburst, she managed to convince him to hold off making breakfast for the strange creature they handn't even met yet, and instead send a letter to Princess Celestia. Not a minute later, a bright flash enveloped the inside of the tree-brary before fading, showing not only Celestia, but her younger sister and co-ruler Luna.

Twilight was silent in confusion at the arrival of both diarchs for only a second before shaking it off and greeting the new arrivals. "princess Celestia, princess Luna. It's good you're here!"

"Greetings princess Twilight, it's wonderful to see you once again, I only wish it was a more casual visit" greeted Celesta, whilst Luna replied with a curt nod. Noticing Twilight's confusion at the presence of the lunar alicorn, Celestia cut off any question with "I understand your confusion of my sister's presence, Twilight. But, she was rather adamant in her accompanying me to see this strange creature. How did you put it again sister? 'We shall flay its hide if deemed dangerous'?"

Luna, undeterred by her sister's jab, replied with "Indeed we did, dear sister, this creature's arrival in our fair land caused us quite the headache" rather annoyed at the sudden magical overload awakening her from her slumber back in Canterlot. Scanning the library, her eyes rested upon a rather large bed, its size rivalling those of hers and her sister's though not nearly as regal. "Is this the creature you referred to, Twilight Sparkle?" turning her head to the smallest princess.

"Yes, princess. I think I may have teleported it by accident after practicing the summoning spell that princess Celestia asked me to try out"  with an exasperated sigh, she continued "it landed on top of me, bed and all. Luckily, it seems to be sleeping, quite heavily I might add. The fall didn't even faze it."

Celestia, who had opted to view the strange creature, had chosen this moment to interject "That is strange, he is either a rather heavy sleeper, or maybe he's in a state of hibernation?" she mused, turning to Luna "sister, what are your thoughts? Surely falling from any height would wake even the heaviest sleeper?"

Luna returned her gaze to the creature, lighting up her horn she cast a detection spell. Once the spell was complete, her brow furrowed in confusion. Turning to address Twilight, Luna asked "Twilight Sparkle, you did not cast any spells on the creature, no?"

Twilight looked up to Luna "no, princess. I've merely been monitoring it since it arrived, and if I may ask how do you know it's male?"

"We can smell him, Twilight." was all what was given as a reply from Celestia, followed by a slight blush and a nod from Luna. "Luna, why do you ask? What did you sense?" Celestia asked her sister.

"I am not sure, dear sister. He seems to be stuck in the dreamscape. Unable to awaken, he also has an unfamiliar magical signature, although it seems strong, he would be no match for either of us or Twilight Sparkle should he prove hostile." 'Oh, I do hope he proves hostile' she thought with a mental cackle.

Pinkie Pie, choosing this as the perfect moment to re-introduce herself to reality, and to the shock of the 3 princess said "Well let's wake him up! We can't have fun together and I can't plan him a 'Sorry Twilight messed up and zapped you here and welcome to Ponyville' party if he's sleepy sleeping!" trotting up to the side of the bed, she leant down so she was close to the creature's ear and shouted "WAKE UP SLEEPY MCSLEEPERSON!".....................Nothing. Pinkie huffed in annoyance before bouncing back over to Twilight.

"Pinkie!! What were you thinking?! What if he woke up, he could be dangerous!" Twilight chided her pink friend, no doubt she'd respond with the most care-free and anno-

"Don't be silly Twilight, he's not dangerous, he's sleeping!" Pinkie giggled, pulling out two cupcakes from her mane, one was a deep blue colour, the other was a bright white. Hoofing the corresponding treats to the princesses quicker than a flash, she resumed her happy bouncing.

Celestia shared a confused glance with her younger sister before shrugging and taking the cupcake in her magical grip, as opposed to holding it with a hoof. Biting into the cupcake, she found it to be absolutely perfect 'As to be expected, with dear Pinkie Pie' she thought to herself. "I believe you should attempt to wake him, sister. I would rather like to speak to him, we will not find out if he poses a threat to our ponies whilst he sleeps."

Luna seemed taken aback by this "Are you sure sister? What of the strange magic I sensed?" staring at her sister with defiance, she soon deflated under the solar diarch's disapproving stare.

"We can ask him when he awakes, I'm shocked by your attitude, sister. Being so quick to judge somepony you have yet to so much as speak a single word to" responded Celestia, a slightly disapproving tone, but still upholding her motherly composure.

Luna sighed, "We apologize sister, you are right... I shall attempt to awake him, though may I suggest you be ready to apprehend him should he try anything, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie."

Twilight seemed uncertain at first, they were going to wake up this strange being.... Having no idea if he was hostile or not, and he had some weird new magic to boot! 'Hmm, if he's friendly, I wouldn't mind researching this magic' steeling herself at the prospect of learning new magics, and potentially learning of new, alien concepts she replied "Okay princesses, ready when you are", whereas Pinkie just giggled.

Rolling her eyes, Luna cast a quick spell to awaken the strange male and waited with bated breath as he started to stir

I felt like shit. "I feel like shit", I tried saying, but it ended up as a lovely garbled mess of "Umf eebo sit" 'Wow, that was intelligent' I thought to myself. Groaning, I slowly turned my head with my eyes still closed, where I heard some unintelligible muffled voices.

"Wa...up" said a very perky voice, followed by another, more commanding tone "Be.....eady......may....viol...." 'What the hell? Who's in my room?' opting to slowly open my eyes, much to the chagrin of my brain who still wanted to sleep more, I saw several blobs of varying size and colour. 'Urgh, too early' I decided to voice my opinion rather rudely "Too early, fuck off" before closing my eyes again.

Upon hearing a rather indignant huff and what seemed to be a second angry voice saying...Something, I opened my eyes once again, this time things were much clearer. Standing before me, was a unicorn... No, scratch that.. A purple unicorn, with wings.. And, oh no there's more. 'Weird dream, oh well.... More sleep' I closed my eyes once more, fully intent to wake up later.... Much later.

I heard a strange bouncing coming from.... Somewhere, throwing my pillow over my head and groaning, I tried to will it away. It worked, only for the incessant bouncing noise to be replaced by something hard nudging me in the shoulder. I heard a bubbly, but soft voice cooing into my ear "wake up, sleepy mcsleeperson... It's time to start the daaaaaaaay!" 'no it's nooooot, piss offffff' I thought to myself, grabbing a pillow and launching it at the crowd. I heard a dull *pomf*, accompanied with a chuckle

"Well, it seems the creature has good aim, he got you right in the face, sister." Celestia laughed at her sister, who was in the process of grabbing the pillow in her magic, taking aim at the wayward human in bed.

"He shall feel my wrath! Nopony engages in pillow fights with the princess of the night and gets away with it unscathed!" Luna proclaimed, throwing the pillow

'Urgh, why won't this pink one piss o--*SLAP*" I jerked up to a sitting position after something... Ah, my pillow hit me. "Uuurgh blegh.... I'm up, jesus christ woman I'm up..." Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I scanned the room to see the same unicorns I saw earlier..... 'Wow, it wasn't a dream.... Oh hey, it's that purple one!'

Flanking this purple unicorn was a small pink unicorn 'I think', she had bright blue eyes and her hair was HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE! immediately to the right of the pink one was a much larger white unicorn, she had wings too... And her mane looked like some weird icecream blowing in some none existent wind 'Weird, and kinda ugly hair' I thought to myself. Big Whitey seemed to be amused with something, and was gazing at me with those big, pinkish eyes... Wait, oh. I just told a bunch of unicorns to fuck off, welp. There's one from the bucket list!

Returning from my inner musings, I looked to my left, and saw another large, but slightly smaller than Big Whitey unicorn. This one was dark blue, had bright teal eyes, seemed to be pissed off about... Something, and also seemed to have a magically flowing mane just like Big Whitey! This one however, took my breath away. It was as dark as night, and it almost looked like I could see stars in there, being a lover of the night myself.. It was truly a spectacle to look at, that I got lost staring at this one. 'I'll name her bluey' I thought to myself

I think Big Whitey noticed my stare, as she turned to Bluey saying "I think he likes you, dear sister. He seems rather captivated with your mane" she said with mild amusement, and I could've sworn she sounded a little disappointed. For what? Who knows. Maybe jealous 'Yeah, like fuck'. Bluey seemed to be getting rather flustered at my gaze, if the blush was anything to go by. 'Wow, why is that so adorable? She thinks she's intimidating, awwwww. Sorry love, but your blush kinda kills the death glare' So, I did as any gentleman would, and averted my eyes and settled my gaze upon Big Whitey.

I tried to think of something to say, coming up blank I settled for giving her a confused stare and asking "Why are there Unicorns in my bedroom?" I could only think of one thing at this moment.

Hail, and well met! (Edited)

Oh look, Equestria

Chapter 3 - Hail, and well met!

".....Why are there unicorns in my bedroom?" Yeah, that's the best I got. What the hell is going on? I'm meant to be having a tea party as Death with Barney the dinosaur! (Yes, I remembered my dream, oddly enough) Now, I'm looking at 4 unicorns of varying shape and size, as well as looking like they just jumped into a tub of finger paints.

Big Whitey's amused expression seemed to grow upon hearing my question, and began to respond when she was cut across by a rather rude pink unicorn all up in mah grill soooon. "Hey! I'm not a unicorn silly, I'm an earth pony! I'm Pinkie Pie, and you're a weird alien monkey thing that I've never seen before! Do you like cake? I like cake, what flavor do you like? *GASP* can you even eat cake? Do you like parties? How old are you? I'm 19! Are you a robot?" she finished with an innocent smile.

What the shit? 'They talk, well... That's a thing.' I thought to myself, before replying with "Yes, vanilla, yes, no, 20, no" she seemed to deflate a little, and I swear I heard a pop from somewhere.... She seemed ready to ask another round of questions when SHE was interrupted by yet another voice, the boring looking purple one before.

"Pinkie Pie! What are you doing?! Get over here!" Purps shouted to 'Pinkie Pie', she responded by saying something about Loki and literally bouncing over back to her friend with audible 'boings' when her feet hooves? Touched the floor. Sitting up and resting my back on the headboard of my bed, I got a good look at my surroundings, and this wasn't my bedroom...

I seemed to be in a weird library of sorts, wood surrounded me wherever I looked.. Wood walls, wood floor, wood tables.. Chairs.. Book cases.. Busts.. Wow, unicorns like wood. I was brought out of my sight seeing by a rather regal voice.

"Greetings, I am princess Celestia, and this is Pinkie Pie, princess Twilight Sparkle, and my sister, also fellow princess, Luna. As Pinkie stated, she is an earth pony, whereas we three are alicorns, we hold the traits of unicorn, pegasus and earth ponies in our blood." announced Big Whitey as she took a step forward and gestured toward each per...Pony? With a hoof. "May I ask for your name?" She finished with a really creepy loving smile.

I was confused as all shit, but the fact that the purple one was called 'Twilight Sparkle' almost had me laughing out loud, oh the irony.. I took a second to compose myself before replying "By the gods, I've gone insane" Big Whitey actually let out a creepily serene laugh upon hearing that, and assured me that this was, in fact real.

"I assure you friend, you are not hallucinating, we are very real. I assume you've never seen creatures such as us before?" I shook my head in a negative "Then I can safely say that you are the first of your kind that we have encountered, also." I nodded dumbly "So, may I ask again for your name?" that same weird, creepy smile.

"Oh, well this is new, I guess... My name's Tom. Full name Thomas, but only my mother calls me that." Pinkie and Twilight seemed to think my name was funny, for some odd reason... And I swear I heard them whispering something about 'meeting Rarity' whoever the fuck he/she was. Celestia simply nodded in understanding, "I'm sorry, but this is really odd to say the least... Are you all in fact unicorns? You're meant to be legends, yet here you are standing before my bed, which can apparently fly now" Where the shit has my bed taken me? "Also, Pinkie Pie?" I asked, turning to the pink one.

"Yes Tom?" she replied, a crazed grin on her face. "What can auntie Pinkie Pie help you with?" 'What the fuck, auntie Pinkie Pie..?'

I replied by gesturing to the floor nearest me "Come here a sec" she then materialized out of thin air right infront of me. "Don't do that..." all I got as a reply was a cute little giggle, so I carried on "right, now I want you to punch me in the arm, right here... Real hard, can you do this for me, Pinkie Pie?" I asked whilst gesturing just below my shoulder.

Pinkie Pie was perplexed as this weird Alien Tom's question "Why would you want me to hit you silly? Only meany mcmeanypantses hurt their friends!" Friend? We've only just met... Urgh, whatever..

"Well, I need to see if I'm dreaming or not, so please hit me.. It'll mean the world to me!!" I asked with a slightly hurt tone, it seemed to work either way..

"Okie dokie loki!" she said before slamming her hoof into my arm so hard I think I dislocated something, I was slightly winded and rather pissed off that she hit me THAT hard "cachu sanctaidd!!! By the gods woman, are you made of titanium or something!? You almost broke my arm!" Pinkie Pie was almost crying at this point

"I...I'm sorry! Please don't be mad Tommy, you told me to hit you so I d...Did!" She started bawling at this point. Wow, I feel sorry for her... I did ask her to, afterall. Great, now I feel like a dick.

"No no, Pinkie... Please, don't cry.. I feel like a prick now, I did ask you to hit me after all.. I'm still your friend!" I grabbed her in a hug 'holy shit, she is soft as hell' it seemed to work, either way. Pinkie suddenly stopped crying completely and went back to her chipper, happy attitude "why do you smell like cotton candy...?" I asked after taking a whiff of her

She giggled, ignoring my question "okie dokie Tommy! I'm glad I could help!" she then returned to the three princesses whilst I nursed my new throbbing shoulder. I tried to gauge their reactions to my friendly conversation with Pinkie. Twilight seemed to be rather apprehensive and disapproving of me, Luna seemed to be rather amused and Celestia wore a warm smile to her features.. And not just that creepy fake serene smile crap, an actual smile. She then resumed where she left off.

"Well then, hello Tom, and welcome to Equestria. It is my understanding that princess Twilight inadvertently teleported you here whilst practicing a new spell." Spell? Equestria? Sure, why the hell not. I just shrugged in response, I then looked to Luna, who seemed to have a neutral expression adorning her features once more, 'weird... I feel, odd when looking at her.' she must have noticed my confused expression, and she tilted her head in equal confusion and slight suspicion. We held our gaze for a few more seconds before I averted my eyes, looking at her made me feel funny... And not the butterflies funny, either.

Shaking the feeling off, I looked back to Celestia "well, it's very nice to meet you, princesses Celestia, Luna, Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie. Can I ask where I am? I caught the Equestria bit, but why am I in the middle of a library and in my bed, I might add?" I'm so confused right now...

Celestia pondered upon this for a moment 'How much can I tell him? Can we truly trust him yet?' "I believe my student and fellow princess, Twilight Sparkle can explain better than I" she motioned towards Twilight, who seemed like she wanted to be anywhere but here right now..

"A...Uhhh...Ahem.. Yes, it's nice to meet you, Tom. You're currently in my library, in the town of Ponyville, which is situated in the country of Equestria, on the planet Equus. Equestria is bordered by Griffonia and Zebafrica, and-" she was cut off by Luna

"That will be enough, Twilight Sparkle. He now has the knowledge he seeks. Now, I have a question for you, sir Tom." I looked to Luna, that same feeling was back...

"Of course, princess" I replied, turning my head to show she had my full attention.

Luna was confused, this strange being named 'Tom' is giving her mixed opinions. First, he just stares at her, seemingly infatuated, the next he's fine. One second he's shouting at the element of laughter, the next he's pouring out his heart trying to make amends for upsetting her. He is truly an odd creature. She was pulled from her musings by the sound of somepony clearing their throats. Looking up, she saw this 'Tom' looking at her expectantly, which a blush she carried on.

"Ahem.. Our apologies, we have several questions, for thou." he hodded in understanding, so she carried on "What manner of creature are thou?" after learning he was something called a human, she moved on to her next enquiry "Thou seemed to be staring rather... intently at us, and thou hast returned thine gaze to us several times now, why is this?" She finished with a slight blush, Luna was honestly confused, not many beings would pay her even a second glance, if her sister were around.

'Bitch stole my question, well... mine was slightly altered, but whatevz...' "Well, I'm not too sure... I feel.. Odd, when I look at you" noticing the blush growing even fiercer on the blue mare's face, as well as seeing her face contort to mild disgust, I soldiered on "Not like that, by the gods... We've only just met! Anyways, it's hard to explain... Your hair, mane?" she nodded "Right, your mane and coat colours remind me of the night sky, I guess.. I've always loved the night; the air is cool, the silence is soothing, I could stare at the stars all night, almost in a trance. That's the feeling I get when looking at you, your very presence seems to sooth me. And when I look into your mane, it feels just like looking at the stars does, If that makes any sense?" Where the fuck did that come from...?

Luna seemed absolutely dumbstruck, I'm guessing she wasn't expecting an answer like that... "Well, we thank you for such kind words, and we are overjoyed to meet a fellow denizen of the night, sir Tom" Nor Celestia, for that matter. She chuckled, and I turned my head to look at her.

"That is understandable, my sister is the princess of the night, after all. She commands the stars and moon, bringing night as I bring the day. Though I'm curious, what do you feel when looking upon me?" she asked, with a cock of her head

I looked to her and locked my eyes with hers. The feeling was, odd. It felt warm, inviting... It made me feel like I wanted to help her.. I didn't like it, at all. I looked away and shook my head, before looking back at her with a slight scowl "You feel commanding, but inviting... Authoritative, but understanding... Warm, and.. Something else...." She seemed happy, but confused at this

"Something else? Pray tell, what is it?" She asked

"I'm not sure, but I don't like it... Not one bit, I feel like I want to go out of my way to actively help you, to please you.. Why?" I asked with slight ire

Celestia smiled, oddly enough 'Okay, that's NOT the reaction I was expecting... "Fear not, my friend. That was merely a test of magical aptitude, to read emotions as you did, it shows a pony's magical ability on a rough scale. That feeling of subservience you felt was part of the test" seeing the anger in my eyes she continued "please, stay you anger. I merely did it to test you, you can rest assured that I will never do that again." I'll have to keep a close eye on this one, maybe go out of my way to be a dick to her... Counteract that weird power "Though I must say, you have a decent level of magic in you. Can you show us?"

I growled, glaring "so you think it's okay to just try and manipulate me? Where the FUCK do you get off?! That's just an invasion of the mind!"

Celestia flinched back as if she was struck, a dumbfounded expression on her face "I-I apologize, I had no idea you would be so opposed to it. I assure you, it has been standard practice in Equestria for many generations, there was no malicious intent"

I held my glare "I'll let it slide, then. But know this, ruler of Equestria. NEVER do that to me again" I then took a complete 180 in emotion, going back to slightly confused " I don't do magic.... Humans can't use magic..." I said with a perplexed expression, Celestia exchanged an apprehensive glance with her sister, who nodded in turn.

"Tom, please accept my apology. You have my word that I shall never cast that spell upon you again. And if you would be so kind, I will cast a spell that will reveal magical abilities to us, should you have any." That would be pretty cool, considering I apparently have magic now, I'd like to see what I can do..

"Sure, I'd love to see what I can do. I've always wanted to cast magic missile!" I announced with glee, the princesses all exchanged worried glances before turning their attention back to me

Celestia then spoke up "very well, you may feel strange, but rest assured that will be normal. I shall erect a shield spell in case of emergency, now let us begin."

Discoveries (Edited)

Oh look, Equestria

Chapter 4 - Discoveries

"..Now, let us begin" Celestia's horn lit with a golden glow, ready to 'cast a spell' on me.. I snorted at the notion, to think... Magic is real, kick me in the bollocks and call me shirley. 'I wonder if I'll spontaneously combust, my brains splattering all over them... That'd be kinda awkward.. Oh, it's that weird little lizard from earlier'

"Hey, weird little lizard thingy!" I said, waving at the lizard thingy. He seemed to take this rather badly, glaring at me and huffing rather indignantly "Hey, I'm not a lizard.. I'm a dragon! You weird big monkey thing.." That little shit...

"Touché, scaley. So, a dragon huh... Cool, I take it you're just a whelp, then?" this seemed to piss him off even more, no idea why... I glanced over at 'Twilight', a silent question to my look. She nodded, and turned to Spike to elaborate.

"Spike, Tom meant no disrespect, a whelp is the scientific term for a baby dragon, it's just a shame that the word has been twisted into an insult in our culture..." this seemed to satisfy the kid, as his glare softened into a look of comprehension. Twilight turned back to me with a smile "and to answer your question, yes. He's just a baby dragon at the moment." Ah, there we go. It was at this point that I started feeling rather odd... And slightly sick

Turning to Celestia, I noticed her face was scrunched up something fierce, it was rather funny to look at "Hey, princess?" she 'hmmm'd' in acknowledgement "I don't mean to worry you, but I'm feeling rather.... Odd, kinda feels like I'm being stretched and smooshed at the same time, kinda sickening actually..." at this she glanced up at me, a slightly alarmed look "That is odd, it shouldn't be bringing you any discomfort.... Though, I'm getting some rather interesting readings, if you'd allow me to continue?" 'interesting, huh? Meh, may aswell just suck it up and carry on'. I nodded to her to carry on. Turning to Pinkie Pie, I saw that she was rather engrossed with a spider on the wall and thought better to snatch her attention away, so I turned to Luna instead.

"So, princess Luna.." she looked to me, a slight smile on her features "your sister said you 'command the night', care to elaborate?" weird feeling growing.... I shifted uncomfortably in my bed

"T'would be my pleasure, Tom. You see, here in Equestria, me and mine sister control the celestial bodies; I the moon, and my sister the sun. I can also move stars, nebulas and control auroras". 'Holy shit, she's badass...' noticing my mystified look, she covered her mouth with a hoof and giggled slightly. I chose this moment to find my voice "That's.... Amazing, I have to say... Looking at a new set of stars, constellations and moon should be very interesting" it was at this moment when I started feeling very nauseous, I grew dizzy, and a tingling sensation over my whole body made me very aware of the coming storm.. Shooting up from my bed, I startled everyone present

Pinkie instantly turned to me, that same smile on her face, Twilight seemed to flinch back horn glowing. Luna tensed up, whereas Celestia just cut off the spell and looked at me inquisitively noticing my stressed grimace "Tom, whatever is the--"

I cut her off quickly by waving my arms "I need a bathroom, gonna puke!"

"Wha--"

"Gonna pu---*Urk"

Twilight snapped into action at this, levitating me off the floor and darting up the stairs, I threw my hands over my mouth, letting out a muffled 'hurry' to my improvised transport, frankly I couldn't give a damn if I was floating, I just needed to chuck my guts up

"You puke on me, or my floor, you're cleaning it up.." Twilight snarked before opening a door at the end of the hall, dropping me right at the toilet

I gave her a thumbs up before turning back to the bowl. 'Now then, let's just get this over wi-*Huuuerghhhhh* I didn't get to finish my thought process as a torrent of greenish brown projectile vomit shot from my mouth and nose, the stomach acids burning the back of my throat on the way out. Panting heavily, I made to stand as the seemingly endless torrent ended, until another barrage of fiery death shot out of my maw. "FuuuuUUUERK"

"Tom, are you okay in there?" I was silent. Another knock, this time a little more frantic "Tom? Can you hear me?" still hunched over the toilet, my stomach clear of its contents I made to stand up

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for asking, I'll be out in a sec. Hey Twi, how the fuck do you flush this thing?" There was no flush handle.. She informed me that there was a 'hoof pedal', looking down I indeed saw the 'hoof pedal' and cleaned up my mess. Walking to the door, I opened it, looking down at Twilight. She looked up at me, and reared back in shock

"T....T...Tom? W-what's happened to your eyes?" 'My eyes?' I raised an eyebrow "They were green, now they're bright orange!!" my other brow shot up before I darted back into the bathroom, looking into the mirror. True to her word, my eyes had indeed changed colour.

"Odd, my eyes aren't meant to change colour, though orange does look awesome" turning back to Twilight "Maybe it's something to do with my 'inner magic'" I said with a shrug, before walking out of the room and back to the gang downstairs. Twilight was right behind me, a concerned yet contemplative look to her face

Celestia gazed up at the stairs, just moments ago her student Twilight had rushed the human off to the toilet, apparently she made him rather ill with that spell. Maybe humans react to magic differently, or maybe it's because he wasn't used to having so much pumped through him so fast? Shaking off her inner musings, she turned to her sister Luna "Luna, I believe I may know our human's magical talent, but it will need further testing to prove, first."

Luna was intrigued, rising her hood to her chin "Oh? And where, pray tell dear sister, do his magical talents lie?"

Celestia contemplated how to respond, trying to form the correct reponse "I detected a tiny similarity with one of Equestria's native species, albeit nearly undetectable. I think he may have the ability to change form, similar to that of a changeling... But, his connection seems.... Deeper, more tuned in."

Luna, upon hearing this was rather perturbed to say the least. 'A shapeshifter? That could be troubling...' chewing the inside of her lip, she made to respond, when the sounds of hoofsteps met her ears. Turning to the stairs, she saw the wayward human and Twilight Sparkle descending. But, something was off about the human. She couldn't quite place what.

Descending the steps, I looked to Celestia and Luna rather smugly "Hey princess, I found my power! I can change eye colour, ooooo spooky!" waving my arms in a sinister manner, Celestia rolled her eyes before answering "Hello, Tom. I'd like to apolgize for making you sick... It wasn't my intention, I assure you" she turned her head to the floor, sheepish expression and all

"Ahh don't worry about it, I'm fine" waving her off, I was about to say something when a pink blob materialized infront of my face spewing a load of nonsense before darting out of the library "OhmyCelestiaIhavetogetthegirlstomeetyouthey'llloveyouI'llbebacksoonbye!"

blinking, I turned to Twilight "Well then, your friend Pinkie is definitely... Interesting, I like her!" Twilight smiled at this

"That's great to know, she can be a little....Hyper, but she loves making ponies smile. And knows exactly how to do it every time"

Celestia spoke up "I'm terribly sorry Twilight, but me Luna will be speaking in private just outside about our most recent.... Guest, we shan't be long. I'll be right here, if anything happens." Twilight enthusiastically nodded "Very well, come Luna. We have important matters to discuss" turning to the door, the two diarchs of Equestria left the library

Two alicorns were walking down a deserted road in Ponyville, both seemingly deep in thought. Luna, being impatient as she is, chose to speak up first "So, Tia. What are your thoughts on this 'Tom'?" she turned to look at Celestia

"He seems complacent, content. Though I sense he has a strong view of free will. He took my indirect manipulation as an insult to his very being... I saw it in his eyes. It's like I spit on his grave. Saying that, I can see that he's rather forgiving. He doesn't seem aggressive, thought something tells me he could very well be if he wanted. Did you notice he has canine teeth?"

"Indeed we...I did, sister. Thought it looked like he had molars, too. An omnivore, perhaps?"

"That may very well be. Even so, we can't disregard the fact that he will be more aggressive than a pony. Though like I said, he seems docile enough.. He is, strange. Maybe it is just the fact that he is a little shaken by the ordeal of being teleported, maybe Equus' magic is having an adverse effect on him." Celestia sighed, gaining a look of concern from Luna, but Celestia waved it off "He's an enigma, Luna. I've never encountered anything like this before.. I do not like the unknown, I never have.. Regardless, I'll have a contingent of guards posted around Ponyville, in disguise of course. I'll tell princess Twilight to notify daily on his activity, as well as any suspicious behavior."

Luna agreed to this wholeheartedly "Very well, sister. I shall dispatch a few night guards as well, if he is truthful at all, then Tom is very fond of the night. Furthermore, if the bags under his eyes are any indication, he doesn't get much sleep. It would be fortuitous to have the night guard around, they blend in far better."

Celestia nodded, giving her sister a tired smile "Very well, let us return and inform the elements of our decision" Celestia lit up her horn, and they were gone in a flash of light

'Wow, this Twilight talks too much' I was cut from my inner musings by a blinding flash, once the light had faded I noticed that the two big ones had returned.

Twilight perked up almost immediately at the sight of her mentor "Princess Celestia, princess Luna, you've returned!"

"Yes, my dear Twilight. And, I believe me and my sister have reached a decision on our guest over here" Celestia waved a foreleg in my direction 'Hmmm, if what they say is true and she could move the sun, that means she can drop the sun on me.... Ouch' "We have decided that as of yet he has shown no outward aggression, and seems to be content. Saying this, I will be posting guards around Ponyville to keep an eye out, I hope you understand, Tom."

"Yeah, no worries. I understand you've got to look after your own. I'd do the same in your shoes. I'm just glad you didn't decide to drop the sun on me" I laughed

Celestia laughed "Quite, as for sleeping arrangements.... Twilight Sparkle, would you be able to house Tom in the library until proper accommodation can be located?"

Twilight was apprehensive, an alien staying in her library... What if she did something to offend him? But, the magic.... The science! Her eyes twinkled "I don't see why not, princess. I have a spare bed free"

Celestia caught on to Twilight's intentions, looking back to me and winking suspiciously "Splendid! I also wish for you to send me reports of Tom's activities and progress during his stay, it doesn't have to be daily, but I'd prefer if it were. And, Tom. I wish for you to know that although there will be guards posted around, do not feel like you're not permitted to go anywhere. Ponyville is yours to explore, though some guards may decide to tail you, I just don't want you jumping my guards, assuming them to be cut throats or bandits. They will be in disguise, afterall." Twilight and I nodded "Now, is there anything you wish to ask of me or my sister?"

It was at this question, that Twilight remembered something. "Oh, princess! Could Tom's eyes changing colour have anything to do with this unique magic of his?" I noticed the twinkle in Twilight's eye, and involuntarily shuddered 'Oh god, she's got that look that screams DISCOVERY!!'

Celestia looked at me, studying my new eyes "That very well could be, Twilight. We believe Tom may be able to change forms, not unlike our native changelings, but something seems different about his power.." 'Shapeshifting?! Fucking AWESOME!!' I practically squeed in utter glee. Celestia looked to me "Tom, I would like to run a few more quick tests with you. Now that I have a good idea of what you can do, I may be able to get a better gauge on them, and maybe even teach you how to control this power, you told me yourself that magic is non existent in your home world" I just couldn't hold back

"By the gods yes, yes YES! Hook me up, doc!" I practically shouted in her face

"Very well, Twilight, Luna, if you would be so kind to help me?" Twilight virtually shot to attention, saluting and all "Of course, princess! I'd love to!" I had no idea what I was getting myself into....

Three fucking hours.... THREE HOURS of testing, with three crazy pony princesses hovering weird equipment onto me, taking readings, making me try out different things... On the bright side, I can change forms now as well as gender, don't ask how I found that one out, I don't intend on going fem-tom again, either. It was a little shocking at first walking around with lady parts instead of mr. flop, but I just ignored it in the name of SCIENCE! I found that I could change into a lot of different things, I also noticed that I could warp inanimate objects, changing their base molecules. I actually managed to make a speaker out of some old metal and wood lying around, it didn't work, but still... Twilight was literally glued to this new discovery, almost unhealthily so. Luna and Celestia left a few minutes ago, said something about 'returning to Canterlot before the nobles believe nightmare moon has returned' I snickered at the horse pun of Camelot

"This is just amazing! You can reform an object's base molecules to your heart's content, I've never seen anything like it!!" Twilight chirped next to me, she's been getting me to see how far I can go with this particular magic. It seems to be limited to the type of materials I'm working with, I was rather disappointed that I couldn't turn water to wine, Twilight unsurprisingly missed the significance of that one.

I turned my head to her, in the middle of testing myself at making a simple plug out of a lump of plastic I found "Yeah, I'm gonna have some fun with this for sure.... Maybe I could fashion some decent speakers for my phone, maybe rig a sort of USB... I'll need some copper wire, plastic and rubber." 'Wait, my phone!' reaching into my pocket, I sighed in relief when I pulled out my phone, it was a Samsung Galaxy S4, with a thick protective case. My phone caught Twilight's eye almost instantly

"Oooh, what's that? Is that the 'phone' you were speaking of?" I nodded "What does it do?" Twilight asked, her face inches from the screen

I looked at her, amused smile on my features. Over the course of the next half hour, I listed all its functions, the internet in particular seemed to intrigue her. Aswell as ebooks, though I didn't have any on the device to show her. Also, turns out that the internet works in Equestria, go fuckin' figure... Magic kicks ass! It also keeps my phone fully charged CONSTANTLY, thank the gods.

"To think, your world has made such advances in technology without the help of magic... There's so much we could learn from you!" This made me frown slightly, she noticed this and raised an eyebrow to me as if asking 'what?'

Sighing, I told her the gist of things "Twilight, though I see where you're coming from, and I can definitely say sharing our world's knowledge has its merits, there's just too much to risk." She was confused by this "what risk could sharing knowledge possibly have?" 'Oh, if only you knew...' I thought darkly

"Look, I won't get into the why, just know that it's a bad idea" Twilight really didn't like that sound of that, but with a reluctant sigh, she nodded looking dejected. 'Urgh, damn cute ponies' "On the bright side, we have my human magic to test, you could write a book, be the first to publish it. Doesn't that sound good?" this perked Twilight up, she gave me a beaming smile

"Yes, yes it does! Oh this is going to be so exciting, think of the untold possibilities!" 'Phew, it worked... I'm lucky she's easy to redirect' I thought. Turning back to my current task, I was about to start working again when there was a knock at the door, before Pinkie and 4 new faces walked in.

Pinkie ran to me and Twilight, grabbing us both in a bone crushing hug "Hey Twi, hey Tom! I'm back, and I brought our friends!" 'Holy shit this mare can hug' gasping for breath, I tried to wheeze out a response, but Pinkie pre-empted us by dropping us to the floor, unceremoniously banging my ass on the hard wood. Groaning and rubbing my new sore cheeks, I stood and got a good look at the new arrivals.

4 ponies were standing inside, all gaping at me, eyes wide. The one on the far left was a unicorn with a pristine white coat and posh purple mane. Directly next to her was a pegasus, she was a butter yellow colour with a long, flowing pink mane and tail. Then there was a normal pony like Pinkie Pie, but this one was orange, with blonde mane and a cowboy hat 'tenner says she's a hillybilly' I thought before fixing my gaze with the last one. This one was a sky blue pegasus with a really dumb looking rainbow mane 'haha, lesbian'. Turning back to Pinkie and Twilight, they were looking at me with a little concern. I raised an eyebrow "what?"

Twilight answered "Well, I was trying to introduce you to my friends before you started oggling them" she replied with a hint of amusement. This made me scoff before turning my gaze back to them "So, which one of you lovely ladies wanna say hi first?" I heard a giggle from Pinkie

"Silly Tom Tom, they're ponies! That's Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack and Rainbow Dash!" 'wow, original name' I thought with a mental chuckle. They all replied with their own varying greetings. Rarity with a rather haughty 'charmed', Fluttershy just 'eeped' and hid behind her mane, Applejack gave a low whistle before saying 'howdy partner', Rainbow however decided to get in my face

"That's right, Rainbow Dash! The most awesome, radical fastest pony in all of Equestria!" She finished with a flourish 'how old is she...?' I turned to Twilight and raised an eyebrow, she seemed to understand and whispered a 'you'll get used to it' before returning her attention to her friends

"Girls! It's good to see you! As Pinkie already said, this is Tom" pointing a hoof at me before lowering it, she continued "He's a human, and I may have accidentally zapped him into the library, bed and all...He he.." a sheepish grin on her face, she chose to gaze at the floor as I chuckled beside her, she looked up inquisitively

"It's true, but I got my own back by landing on her, or so I'm told" The girls shared a laugh at this "to give you short of it, I'm a human from a world called 'Earth', turns out I got magic on the way here and I can now shapeshift, that's a pretty good trade off if there ever was one." Turning my attention to Rarity, I noticed her scrutinizing me rather intently "Errr... Can I help you, Ms. Rarity?"

Rarity was slightly stunned before looking back at me, a disgusting look on her face "Terribly sorry darling, but I must ask... What possessed you to wear such... Ghastly attire?" 'Hey, fuck you! These are top of the line camos!'

I huffed indignantly before replying rather sharply "For your information, darling; these are NOT my casual clothes, I just happened to be wearing them at the time. You see, I'm a pe.... 'No, they might react badly to hear I'm a pest exterminator' an animal watcher, and these clothes help me to blend in, as to not spook the animals". Fluttershy locked gazes with me instantly, a huge smile on her face

"Oh, that's wonderful! And so caring too.. I know how some animals can be very skittish, and it's nice to know you try your best to not scare them!" 'Huh, she must be an animal lover or something, good thing she doesn't know the truth..' "I'm an animal caretaker myself, I take joy in showing them kindness" she gave me a warm smile, I returned it 'Holy shit, she's adorable'

Rarity then spoke up again "I apolgize if I offended, darling. You simply must visit my boutique some time, I'll make you a wonderful outfit free of charge!" wow, that's generous of her.... "Though if I may ask, I've never heard an accent quite like yours, darling. It's rather, exotic..."

"Wow, well. Thank you, I'll keep that in mind, and to answer your question. Back home, I was born in a small country named Wales, lovely little place. Nice and quiet, and I'm darn proud to be called a welshman! Falch o fod yn Gymry!" she responded with a curt nod and a smile. I looked to Applejack, she seemed to be eyeing me weirdly, absently rubbing a hoof to her chin

"So, Applejack.. I couldn't help but notice your mannerisms, am I right in assuming you're a farmer?" she seemed shocked by this before smiling and nodding "thought so, I've done my fair share of farm work, I know a hard worker when I see one" She blushed at my compliment

"Well shucks sugarcube, I thank ya kindly, if I might ask.. What kind'a farm work did'ja do?" she asked in earnest

I pondered on this a little 'hmmm, should I tell them about the horses? Ehhh.... Might be awkward... Nah' "Well, I did many things from feeding cattle to herding sheep... I did a bit of sheering, though I stopped that particular activity after I caught a whiff of their lovely smelling wool" I shuddered, that stuff stank....

Applejack gave me a genuine mirthful laugh "Hehehe, ya get used to tha smell" I grimaced 'Eurgh, I can take the smell of rotting corpses fine, but sheep's wool just makes me gag'

...Yeah, no. "I'll... Take your word for it, though you won't see me sheering any time soon" I deadpanned. Ms. Rainbows decided to rudely interrupt suddenly

"Sooooo... You're a shapeshifter, huh? That's pretty awesome I guess, but still not as awesome as the Dash" 'seriously, how old is she... 5?' she hovered over to me, scrutinizing my every feature "well then, Mr. Human, what can you do? Show us your stuff!" This got a round of agreement from all present, except from Fluttershy "please, nothing scary..."

I was rather disheartened that I could only change sex and turn into a pony at the moment "Well, I can only turn into a pony at the moment, both male and female... And no, I am NOT going girl, no way... No how." this earned me a raised eyebrow from Rainbow. I sighed, before turning into my pone-form, such a badass name. I had decided on being an earth pony, and from what I was told by Twilight, I was a little short for a stallion, I had a rather normal colour scheme of a short, slightly spiked black mane, a small dull grey patch which had grown out after I was scarred years back, and a dull brown coat. Average build and green eyes. I was thankful that it was something rather simple, I don't know if I could handle being neon green, or something.... "See, nothing spectacular. Just your average pony man!" they were all eyeing me expectantly "....what?"

Pinkie Pie bounced infront of me, motioning to her flank. Looking over, I spotted her 'cutie mark' as Twilight told me, before looking back at my bare flank. Turning my head to Pinkie, I raised an eyebrow "Silly, you forgot your cutie mark! Go ahead and zap it on Tommy boy!"

I hesitated for a moment, thinking hard 'Well, from what Twilight had told me... These things hold a significance here, what would my special talent be...? Ah! I got it!' closing my eyes to concentrate, I briefly reached out to my 'inner magic', before hearing a quiet pop. Opening my eyes, I turned my head to look. My cutie mark, as expected was there. It was exactly as I pictured, a paper target with two bullet holes in it. Simple, but to the point. Looking back to Pinkie, she had a beaming smile.

"That's better! Ooo! Maybe your pony name could be something like Sharpshooter, or Flintlock! Ooh ooh, how about Winchester?!" '....What...' I stood there, mouth agape 'how the fuck does she know about Winchester? I'm a damned alien! She shouldn't know an alien gun maker!' shaking my head, I decided to ignore it for the moment, closing my mouth and smiling

"Sharpshooter, eh? I like it.... Thanks, Pinkie! I'll use that when I'm out and about, don't want to scare ponies with my alien self"

"No problemo sharpy!" she giggled before hopping off again

I looked to Twilight, I noticed her eyes were drifting along my frame before slowly lowering... 'Wait, is she eyeing my......?' I coughed slightly, causing the mare to start and blush, looking away sheepishly

"W..Well, that's rather.. impressive" 'F to the uck to the no' I thought with a shudder. I heard the gang snickering and whispering to each other behind me, Twilight spoke up after regaining her composure "Well, now that introductions are out of the way, how about we all grab something to eat, on me?" My stomach growled, reminding me of my impromptu stomach pumping earlier this morning

I wholeheartedly agreed to this "By the nine, yes! I'm starving.." there was a murmur of agreement from the girls. "By the way, girls.. How old are you all, if you don't mind my prying? I'm 20, myself. I'm just curious, is all."

Twilight decided to answer for them "Well, me, Pinkie and Rarity are 19, Rainbow is 18, and Fluttershy and AJ are both 20." I nodded, thankful for the info. Twilight perked up, suddenly remembered something, turning to me she asked "Oh! Tom.. I mean, sharpshooter.. I was meaning to ask, you've said 'by the gods' several times now, and just now you said 'by the nine', just how many gods do you have on your world?" she cocked her head, lowering one ear 'daz cute yo'

"Well, Twilight.. On my world there's loads of religions, I personally am non religious, I don't believe in gods, or higher powers of any sort...." noticing her silent question, I carried on "you see, I say those things because we have something back home called 'video games', there's one particular game I like to play. In the game, those phrases are said a lot, I just kinda picked it from playing way too much of it" She nodded in understanding, smiling and jotting it down on a notepad

"Video.....Games! Okay, thanks. Well, without further ado... Shall we?" She asked, gesturing to the library's front door

Suddenly, I had a devious scheme pop into my evil head "Well, not even a day here and I'm already being treated to breakfast by a princess, aren't I a lucky stallion" this caused Twilight to flush and try to stutter out a response, earning a round of guffaws from her friends

Twilight growled through clenched teeth "watch it buddy. Come on Spike, we're going for some breakfast" she said to her purple assistant, him promptly running up to her and hopping onto her back with an audible thud

'This is gonna be interesting... Alien food, best not be something crap like hay or something....' I thought as we walked out into the street, me humming a certain little number to myself by the name of Slave by Whitesnake, library door closing behind us

The song he was humming

Ponyville, and revelations (Edited)

Oh look, Equestria

Chapter 5 - Ponyville, and revelations

---------------------------

Walking through the streets of Ponyville, I got my first real look at my surroundings. I have to say, it was rather nice.. Houses of all shapes and sizes were dotted around, most of them all had a thatched roof, white walls and yellow support beams. 'A little recurring, but nice all the same' and then there were the ponies. I knew what to expect, but seeing it with my own eyes was something else entirely... I'm pretty sure I was gawking... Somewhat.

Twilight looked to me and giggled slightly, putting a hoof to her mouth "Is everything alright?" looking over to her I mouthed a slient 'so many colours'. This made Twilight cock her head in confusion "what, are humans all one colour?" I snapped my mouth shut with an audible click

"Well, not really. But, nothing like- (I waved a hoof infront of me) - This!! It's like looking into a bag of skittles for pete's sake!" looking back to the crowd, I noticed they were all waving at our group and smiling. Some were even greeting me with 'hello sir!' and 'welcome to ponyville, mister!' I just waved and greeted them back "Hey Twilight, why is everyone so friendly around here..?" she looked at me incredulously

"What do you mean 'why is everypony so friendly around here?' Everypony in Ponyville is friendly, we always welcome new ponies with open hooves, and a party courtesy of Pinkie here" she pointed to the pink one, Pinkie looked to me before materializing right beside me

"That's right Sharpy! I always throw parties for my new friends. But, you said you don't like parties" she deflated and stopped dead in her tracks. I looked back 'Fuck sake, I'm a prick.. And why do I feel so bad about hurting their feelings, anyway..?' I sighed, pinching my nose (muzzle?) with a foreleg

"Look, Pinkie... I know I said I didn't like parties.... But, I guess I could make an exception this ONE time. Don't want you to break your party streak now, do I?" I finished with a smile and a wink, Pinkie was evidently elated with this idea.. I could've sworn she was going to explode with sheer excitement.. Oh wait, she did... 'What.. the fuck.'

"This... is going... to be AMAZING! I promise Sharpshooter, I won't let you down! I'll start planning later today... Oh, there's going to be so much to do!" she started prattling off to herself, I looked to her friend and saw them all with warm smiles on their faces.

I cocked my head "...What?"

Rarity spoke up "That was a lovely thing you did, darling. Pinkie does so love her parties, and it meant a lot to her that you'd let her throw one for you" Oh, so that's what it is.... I don't see the big deal here, meh.

Shrugging, I waved a hoof down the road "It was nothing, I'm sure there's a place reserved in hell for men who makes ladies cry... Now, shall we?" with that, we carried on to the food!

Turning a corner, I spotted a large gingerbread shaped building 'Oh, I wonder where we're going?' I thought with a roll of my eyes. Approaching the shop, I noticed a sign with weird language I didn't understand. "Ahhhhh fuck... Well, that's not good..." I muttered to myself

Twilight heard me, I guess before looking to where I was. She looked back to me "What's wrong, Tom? It's only Sugarcube Corner, and can you not curse so much in public? It's irresponsible" 'Sugarcube Corner, eh? Not a bad name..'

I looked to Twilight "Well, I can't understand your written language... Honestly, I thought something like this would've happened.. But, I guess I was holding out hope that it wouldn't be so..." I finished, deflating slightly

Rainbow Dash found this particularly funny "Dude, you can't read? That's.... Bwahahahaha! You're like, an adult and can't read!" 'Ouch Dashie, ouch..' Fluttershy seemed to share the same sentiment, chiding her friend

"Rainbow! Don't be so rude.. It's not his fault he can't read our language, I'm sure Twilight could teach him, if he wanted to..." Fluttershy looked back at me, smiling. I mouthed a slient 'thank you' before nodding to Dash

"Yeah, ahh well it's not that big a deal. Weirdly enough you all speak English, that's good enough for me... Now, on to food!" I marched right into 'Sugarcube Corner' and was instantly blasted by the smell of confectionary, looking around I saw more multicoloured ponies munching on various desserts. There were two babies being cradled by a rather... Full mare who I assumed was their mother,  and Pinkie was behind the counter, serving customers. We went to sit at a ta-'wait a minute... Pinkie's serving customers?' I looked to her, dumbfounded once again by the pink menace. She looked to me, cracking a sly smile and giving me a wink before returning to her customers. 'That little... ARGH' I snarled, slamming my hooves on the table and pouting

Applejack chuckled "Don't you fret none, Sharpshooter. Ya get used ta Pinkie's antics.. Just, don't think too hard on it, ya hear? Twi had an anvil fall on her head from that" Twilight flinched, nodding. I heard her mutter something about pianos and someone named 'Ditzy' before she stood, asking everyone what they'd like

Turning to me, she asked "Tom, what would you like? Anything on the menu is on me"

I looked at the menu, and was shocked. It was cakes.... All, cakes... 'What the fuck, they call this breakfast..? Whatever' I sighed, laying the menu down "I'll have an eclair and a coffee, please. Oh, and Twilight.. -dropping my voice to a whisper- when we're out and about like this, call me Sharpshooter.. Incognito, remember?" She nodded, turning to the counter and trotting along

I watched her walk away for a few seconds, before I heard a giggle come from Rarity. Turning my head to look at her, I gave her a deadpan stare "I know that look.... Let me tell you now, I'm sure your friend is gorgeous. But, I'm not looking for any tail right now. Maybe not ever whilst I'm here..." this made Rarity laugh even more

"Ohho, of course not darling." fluttering her eyelashes at me. I sighed "Oh come now, I was merely joking with you. Though I can confirm your assumption to Twilight being very desirable"

"Is that so? I'll take your word for it..." I said, shuddering 'I'm not getting into a pony.... It'd be too wierd' shaking morbid thoughts out of my head, Rainbow spoke up

"So, 'Sharpshooter' you know who we are, and what we do... So, what's your story?" she finishes, looking expectantly to me. Looking around her friends, I noted they all had the same level of curiosity plastered over their technicolour faces

Letting a drawn out sigh, I started to regale them with my amazing life story "Well, where to begin.... I went to high school, scored next to nothing on most of my end exams. I was a bit of a pretentious idiot in high school, I didn't listen when I should have, and I even clocked a couple teachers who 'disliked' me" this got a snicker from Dash "I went to college for two years studying I.T, that was a flop. I then did a two year course in mechanical engineering, i.e machine working, tool making specifically. After I left college, I was on and off with jobs for a couple months. Nothing really stuck with me and when all else failed I fell back on what I was good at in school, punching people and being a dick... So that's when I went into training to be a security guard. When I finished that, I managed to grab a job as a doorman throwing plastered drunks out for a living. 'I also go shooting in my spare time...' I use my spare time up with friends, animal 'watching' and the occasional drink. That's pretty much it, I haven't led the most fulfilling life." I finished with a roll of my eyes

Looking up from the table, I noticed Applejack giving me a strange look, the kind of look that says 'I know the truth' 'What does she know?' I thought to myself. Rainbow then spoke up "Man, you're right when you said it wasn't the most fulfilling of lives, but what about socking your teacher? What was that all about?" she was suddenly very interested

"Funny story, actually.. I was after some punk after he wronged a friend of mine. Long story short, the teacher got between us.. I got fed up, and socked him right in the jaw. He got revenge, though.. His bloody coffee went flying, spilled all over me. The bloody mug was hot" Rainbow laughed uproariously 'It wasn't that funny'

Rarity seemed to find it less amusing "Though I agree that action must be taken against schoolyard bullies, violence is not the answer darling." 'Ha, like hell it isn't...'

"With all respect, Rarity... But, the truth of the matter is that if you hit a bully hard enough, they'll soon straighten out their act. Has never failed me in the past." Twilight arrived at the table at this point, and must've caught the end of the conversation

"That may be so, but violence is, well.... Violent. All you're achieving in the end is stooping to their level." 'Sometimes that's what it takes, to get a point across...' I thought. Twilight set all our food down and we all happily dug in, idle chit chat going around the table at random intervals

Half an hour later, we were all sitting at the table food eaten. Pinkie joined us all a few minutes back after some big fat blue pony took over the counter. I caught Applejack giving me a scrutinizing look now and again through the course of 'breakfast'. I was about to ask Rarity about those clothes she mentioned, and why she felt inclined to make clothes for a complete stranger when the orange pony spoke up

"Hey, Sharpshooter.... Can I speak to ya outside fer a minute?" she got up and started walking to the door

I nodded, getting up and joining AJ outside "I think I know what this is about. You know something, now what is it?" I asked, turning to look at her

Applejack seemed taken aback that I had read her so well 'Hah, I can read people's facial expressions like a book, I'm just glad ponies have the same expressions... Plus ears anyhoo' I was shaken from my musings by AJ's voice "I know yer lyin' about the animal watchin', I saw that knife on yer belt back at the library, now.. Care to explain?" 'What the hell has this got to do with you..?'

I decided to be straight with her "Alright, look. You're a farmer, so maybe you'll understand. I tried to save face around the others, especially that 'Fluttershy', but you're quite the bloodhound. Anyways, do you have sheep on your farm?" She nodded "Okay, do you breed them?" nod "Okay, now this is where I come in. You see, when lambing season comes about, predators are attracted to the new born lambs. I.e, foxes. Obviously, when a fox takes a lamb, that's money out of the farmer's pocket... And that's bad. I....... Take care of said predators, to protect the lambs. Understand?"

Applejack thought on this for a second "I see where yer comin' from, and I can understand. Though it's a shame ya have to go to such... Extremes, yer cutie mark actually makes sense now, too. Thanks fer bein' honest with me, Tom." she smiled, though I could see disgust behind the smile.

"Yeah, no worries. Now let's get back to your friends before they think something's afoot" I said whilst strolling back inside, Applejack in tow.

Arriving back at the table, Twilight got a little curious "Applejack, what was that about?"

"Nothin' ya need to concern yerself with, sugarcube. We were just clearing up a misunderstanding"

Twilight narrowed her eyes at us, holding it for a few seconds before relenting "Urgh, fine. As long as you've sorted it out" We nodded, and sat back at the table

After some more chatting, everyone said their goodbyes and went home. Me and Twilight were on the way back to the library in silence, Spike on her back. Spike broke the silence with a jaw-cracking yawn, Twilight looked back to Spike and giggled "Wow Spike, it's not even 5PM yet and you're already exhausted?"

"Well I wouldn't be if you were up all night fretting over that spell of yours. I couldn't sleep with all the pacing you were doing!" Spike crossed his arms and grumbled "dumb princess sending Twilight spells all the time" Twilight caught this and glared and the baby dragon

"What was that mister?" Spike replied with an enthusiastic 'nothing!' waving his arms and everything, I laughed at this

"Jees Spike, where's your spine? I thought you were a dragon!" Twilight glared at me, I grinned at her. In return she huffed, sticking her nose up in the air and walking a little faster. We soon arrived at the library, I switched back into human form and Spike went off for a nap. "Ahhhhhh, feels good to be me again.... Well, me relatively speaking." stretching my arms, I fell back onto the couch.

Twilight got my attention "So, Tom.. How did you find Ponyville? It looked like you had a good time"

I looked over to Twilight "It was nice, it's a lovely little town you have here. Reminds me of home, just more.... Ye olde..'home, need to get back there....' *sigh* "Hey, Twilight?"

She looked to me with a smile, that dropped into a frown after she noticed my somber expression "What's the matter?"

I sighed again, collecting my thoughts "When do you think I'll be able to go home? It's nice and all here, and I do like having magic... But, you know... No place like home, and all that."

"....Oh, I see.. Well, I'm not really sure I can send you back at all. I-I'm sorry, I never meant for you to be taken here, I was startled when casting the spell when it happened. I'll look around and see if I can find something on teleportation between worlds, and I could ask the princessess for help. I promise I won't let you stay here when you don't want to, I'll do everything in my power to send you back" Twilight was on the brink of tears "Please, I don't want you to think I intended to do this... I would nev-" I cut her off

So many ifs and buts.... This doesn't look too promising "Look, Twilight... I'm a victim of circumstance, nothing more. You're not to blame here." That didn't seem to help her mood at all "Besides, you said you'd ask the princesses for help, if what I've gathered about them is true, they can do it. I thank you for your help, but please just don't drive yourself to a wreck on my account. I may be many things, but I will NOT have people harming themselves in any way on my account"

Twilight was shocked, he didn't blame her? But it was all her fault! "But, it was all my--"

"No, it wasn't your fault. As I said, I'm a victim of circumstance. An unpreventable fact of the universe." I suddenly had a grim thought "HAH! I'm an accident" I laughed. Twilight, however was horrified

"How could you say that?! That's terrible!"

"Heh, calm yourself sweetheart, I was just joking. Wow, ponies are sensitive..." I said, chuckling to myself

Twilight was getting rather ticked off with her 'accident' "We are NOT sensitive!" she huffed

This made me laugh even more, clutching my sides I rolled off the sofa, hitting the floor with a thump "HAHAHA!!! Oh lord, if you could see your face right now... Hehe, alright alright you prissy princess." 'Oh crap, my afternoon workout... I can't exactly lift weights here, she probably hasn't even got any...' standing up and dusting myself off, I turned to Twilight "Do you have a chin ups bar around here at all? I want to wind down a little"

Twilight thought on this "Hmmmm, well I don't know if I have anything like that. It's normally only Minotaurs and Griffins that use them, ponies don't have much use for them. Although, there is a structural support beam down in the basement, that'll probably take your weight" raising a foreleg to point at the door, she continued "It's just down there, be careful around my equipment. If you need me, I'll be upstairs writing a report to the princess. Just shout if you need something!" She then turned, walking up the stairs

I walked to the door, opening it and descending into the basement "Right then, let's do this!". Upon arriving at the bottom floor, I couldn't see a thing... It was dark, very dark. "Urgh, there's gotta be a light switch some-AHA!" trailing a hand over the wall, I found a light switch and flicked it on. Looking around the room, I saw odd contraptions. There were really outdated, crappy PCs lining the walls, vials of weird liquids and distilleries dotted around the place, and there was even a brain scanner. 'Why would she need that..?' I shuddered, weird librarians kidnapping people and experimenting on them coming to mind

Craning my head to look at the ceiling, I spotted the beam in question. "Hmmm, that should do nicely" pulling my phone from my pocket, I opened the music player and put on some ample work out music. 'So cliche, but so badass' I thought to myself, pulling off my coat and under layers. Now topless, I got to burning off the offending eclair I had to guzzle down for 'breakfast'. 'Hmmm, maybe Twilight will let me cook something proper, surely these ponies don't just eat confectionery every day..' shaking myself from my musings, I decided to go ask the 'pretty purple princess pony' after finishing off downstairs.

Le song

Research (Edited)

Oh look, Equestria

Chapter 6 - Research

-------------------------

I was bored... Again "Urgh, I'm so bloody bored. Princess, I can't believe you put me on house arrest.." here I was, sitting on the sofa in Twilight's library, bored out of my skull. I don't even know what I did wrong!

Twilight sighed, snapping her book shut with a loud thud. "You broke Time Turner's jaw! And stop calling me princess, I told you before I don't like my title!" 'Oh, that's what... I don't see the problem' I thought. A few days had passed since my arrival here, nothing of note really happened. I usually tagged along with Twilight and her crew when she wanted me to, something about 'Keeping an eye on me'. Pff. Then, Time Turner happened....

One day ago:

We were walking to a local cafe, I was walking next to Dash chatting about exercise regimes and what-not, apparently she had caught me the other day after she heard music coming from the basement. Ever since then she's been talking none stop about workouts.. 'I don't even do that much, just a little schedule every night to burn off any excess energy...' I sighed

"Dude, you've GOT to put push ups into your routine. It works your forelegs and chest something fierce!" Dash said enthusiastically

I was getting rather bored with this conversation, it had been going on for about 10 minutes now, ever since we all met up. Looking around, I saw the girls chatting idly to themselves about various topics, Twilight was muzzle deep in a notepad, passing glances over my way now and again. Turning back to Dash, I made to reply when I smashed into something rather solid, sending me and the offending object stumbling to the ground in a heap.

Groaning, I got myself up and shook the birds out of my eyes. I looked to the ground to see what I had landed on, and saw a brown stallion just a shade lighter than me, brown mane and blue eyes. I offered a hoof to help him up, and was surprised when he slapped it away rather roughly, getting himself up before he turned to me, fire in his eyes. "Why don't you watch where you're walking, jack off?!"

I was rather taken aback by this, so were the girls if the gasps from behind me were any indication "....Excuse me..?"

"I said watch where you're going, jack-off! What are you?! Deaf?!" 'You'd best watch your mouth, wanker.'

Gritting my teeth, I replied as nicely as possible "I'm terribly sorry, sir. I should've been watch--" He cut me off

"Damn straight you should be watching where you're going! I could've broken something!" I sighed, glancing back at the girls, they were all looking between me and him, apprehension in their eyes.

Turning back, I glared at him "Listen, I said I'm sorry. If that's not good enough for you, then shove it up your ass. Now get the fuck out of my way" I pushed past him, carrying on down the road. That's when it happened, I wasn't even 3 feet away as he replied

"Damn city boys, thinking they own the place. You'd best watch yourself around these parts" 'City boy, fucking... City boy?!'

I whirled around, giving him my best death glare "What... The FUCK did you just say to me?!" Time Turner, for his part seemed to take this as a challenge, widening his stance and growling

"I called you a city boy, city bo--" He didn't get to finish, instead he got a hoof to the jaw, knocking him out instantly. I stood there, mouth agape staring at my new blooded hoof. The foreleg on which my hoof was attached had grown a bit, looking a little more toned than my left. Looking to the girls, I saw the same expressions of awe plastered on their own faces.

"I.... Oops, I think I may have accidentally doubled my muscle mass when I got angry.... Hehe..." I finished, rubbing the back of my head and letting out a sheepish laugh. Twilight shook from her stupor to give me a disapproving glare. "What?" She shook her head "He called me a city boy! The prick!"

"What, and that was more offensive to you than jack-off?! You shouldn't have hit him! Is that blood?! Oh Celestia, what if you seriously hurt him?!" 'That was the plan....'

"Well, it'll teach him to show others a little respect, won't it?" I turned to the stallion, who had just managed to pull himself from the floor. He turned to me, glaring. I noticed his jaw seemed a little out of place, I winced "Might want to get that checked out, mate" he intensified his glare for a few seconds before turning round and hobbling off

I looked back to the girls, gauging their reactions. Twilight and Rarity looked angry, Fluttershy and Pinkie looked concerned for the other guy, whereas Rainbow and AJ stood there, mouths floundering. Rainbow found her voice first "You.... You took him off his hooves with that punch..." I winced again "That... Was... AWESOME! Hey, you really are a Sharpshooter, after all" 'Wait, what?'

Before I could reply, Twilight shouted at Dash "No, it was not awesome, Rainbow. Tom broke Time Turner's jaw! This is serious!" Applejack turned to Twilight, giving her a deadpan stare

"Twi, he started it. Sharpshooter here tried to apologize, but Time Turner was lookin' fer a scuffle, and I'd say he got one"

I looked to Twilight "Look Twilight, he disrespected me, I defended my honor. Simple, that's the way we do things back home" 'sort of..' "Now, let's just forget about this whole debacle and carry on with the day..." I started to trot off when I was encased in a purple aura and floated off the ground. Now facing Twilight, I could see the anger in her eyes

"That's all...? No, that may be how you do things at home, but you're not at home right now. You're in our home, and you're on house arrest! Until I say otherwise, you're staying in the library."

I glared at her "Are you fucking serious?! I'm not some damned child! You can't just ground me for defending myself!" Twilight didn't back down

"No, you're not a child. But you're acting like one! And yes, I can and I am. Now come on, we're going back. Sorry girls, me and 'Sharpshooter' here are leaving" and just like that, we were gone in a purple flash, reappearing in the library foyer

Present:

"Well, you certainly were a princess out there a few days ago, weren't you..?" I said to her

Twilight sighed "I'm sorry, I just wanted to get out of there before a crowd gathered. But that still doesn't excuse what you did, violence doesn't solve anything... No matter what" 'Yes, it does...' "besides, you can still do stuff around the library, it's not like you're confined to that sofa. Why don't you practice your shifting? I've written some notes down, and I'd like to get some more findings on it, too. You haven't really tried anything apart from changing into your stallion form."

'Well, may as well test out my new alien powers' "That's a good idea, actually. I've been meaning to try and alter my musculature ever since that little scene" I smiled, this should be fun

"Excellent! I'll go grab my notes, be back in a sec!" Twilight shut her book and returned it to the shelf, before trotting off upstairs to gather her things. Not even a minute later she was back, carrying various writing utensils in her magic. She smiled at me, walking up to the couch and taking a seat next to me "Right, first thing's first... Change into your stallion form for me, please"

I did so "Alright, what now?"

Twilight eyed me for a few seconds before writing something down on her parchment, turning back to me she said "Next up, change your mane" I complied, my mane going from a dull black, to a vibrant yellow. "Huh, it seems the grey patch is still visible. So, changing forms does not remove scars."

"Okay, we've been through all this already. Why do you need more notes on this?" I asked, looking to the paper, I saw the same mumbo jumbo wing dings that I couldn't understand in the slightest.

Twilight sighed "Last time around I only noted what you could do, this time I'm testing more. Such as your magical levels during the change, as well as after. Now, change your mane back." Boom, black hair. "Now, I want to see if you can change from earth pony to pegasus, and unicorn. So, start with pegasus" I pictured wings on my sides, willing them to come through "Looks good, try flapping them"

I reached out with my mind, testing the new appendages by 'flexing' the muscles, looking back I saw them flap a few times "Okay, wings look good.. Now, try unicorn" I reverted to earth pony, concentrating once more on turning into a unicorn

"I... I can't do it... My powers won't respond" I looked to Twilight, confusion in my eyes. Twilight was busy jotting down notes, musing to herself

"I thought this would've happened. If I'm to hazard a guess, I'd say that you're not compatible with unicorn magic. So, levitation and any potential teleportation is out of the question. We'll go into that topic another time." Looking to me, she put on a face of apprehension "Now, I'm going to ask you to do one more transformation.... You're probably not going to like this... But, could you change into a mare?"

"No."

Twilight pouted "Awww come on, I only got a few notes on your human female form because you were running around the room screaming" she rolled her eyes

"I said no, Twilight"

Twilight, not about to be defeated, gave me her best puppy dog look, quivering lip and all. Twilight nudged me with a foreleg to get my attention, I looked to her "HNNNNNNNG.....Noooooo!" Twilight responded by widening her eyes a little more, tears brimming at the sides "By the gods, okay okay!" Twilight beamed

"Excellent! You know, you're much too easy..." She snicked.

I rolled my eyes "Yeah yeah, cute little purple pony gives me the puppy dog eyes. How can I say no? You're evil." I concentrated on changing forms. I soon felt... Things, receding... Things that weren't meant to recede, it was so horrid... Upon completion of the change, I stood up and shook myself "Urgh, that was weird..." I 'eeped' with a start, evidently my voice was extremely feminine "Oh lord, I sound like a delicate little flower. Whyyyyy" I pouted

Twilight giggled, jumping from her seat and meeting me in the middle of the room, notes and quill in tow "Quit your whining, your voice is cute" she said in a condescending tone

I gritted my teeth "Just shut up and get this over with, it's not natural to change sex willy nilly..."

Twilight rolled her eyes "Oh fine, just hold still and stop fidgeting!" she started pacing around me, noting every little detail on myself "Petite, but rather toned build, slightly shorter than average... You're very close to Dash, body wise.. Except less muscle tone" she trotted around behind me "Now, lift your tail"

I jumped "Wh...What?! I'll do nothing of the sort!" I'm pretty sure I was blushing something fierce, if the heat in my cheeks was any indication "Why on earth would I do something like that..?!"

Twilight, oblivious to my embarrassment spoke up "I just want to check if everything is as it should be 'back there', and whether you're healthy or not. This information is important, what if for some reason you one day decided to take a stroll in your mare form, and something happened to you? I need to make sure to have as much details written down as possible, in the event of you ending up in hospital!"

I hesitated "But... Why... Urrrrrrrrrrgh... Twilight, you just made this sooooo much weirder..." I did as she asked, the red on my cheeks turning crimson "Please just... Hurry up."

All I got as a reply was a short 'ahuh', followed by the sound of a quill scratching on parchment "Aaaaaand, done! You can hide yourself now, you prissy mare."

I shuddered, hiding my shame once more. Turning to Twilight, I voiced my opinion "Right, now that you've perved on me, what's next? I thought this was meant to be fun for me, instead I've turned into your bloody lab rat!" I snarked a little harshly "And why do I feel so sad?! What's going on?! AAAARRRGH!" I started to sniffle "Tw...Twi, w-what the hell i-is wrong with m-me?!"

Twilight looked at me with concern "It might be hormones..." I groaned "No no, not like that. Just hear me out. You were born male, correct?" I gave her a deadpan stare, nodding "okay, so you mustn't be used to the female side of the hormonal spectrum, thus your emotions are acting up. Change back, if you like. I'm done with my notes"

I changed back to a human as quickly as I could, sighing in relief when I didn't feel like I was about to cry my eyes out "Phew, that was weird... Good to be back, baby!" I turned to Twilight "Never..... Again"

Twilight shrugged "I'm sorry for causing you discomfort, but I've got everything I need now, why don't you experiment a little whilst I sit back and take notes?"

Liking the sound of this prospect, I smiled and nodded "Okay, just a quick question on my female form, though" Twilight raised an eyebrow, replying with a 'hmm?' "Was I hot? I sounded hot" Twilight rolled her eyes before lowering her gaze back to her notes, muttering 'stallions' under her breath

"Anyways, I think I'll start with trying to change my muscle mass first." stripping off to my boxers, I looked to Twilight, who was eyeing my mostly naked form rather intently. She materialized a new parchment and a fresh ink vial

"Interesting, you're almost completely devoid of any hair or fur. Your legs are longer in proportion to your arms, too. I see now why humans prefer a bipedal stance" she scratched something onto the parchment before gazing back at me expectantly

Concentrating, I pictured in my mind what I wanted to happen, within a matter of seconds I felt the now familiar stretching of my limbs. Looking to my arms, I saw that they had bulked up slightly 'Okay, good... Now, let's see how far I can take this...' I concentrated some more, willing my muscles to grow as much as I could make them. Looking to my arms once more, they had grown just about double their original girth, giving me a generous muscle gain. "Okay, nice... Very nice... That's as far as I can go, though that's more than enough. Not too big, not too little. I don't want to look like a steroid guzzler, after all"

Twilight, who was watching intently through the whole process squeed in glee "This is amazing! Your arms have grown to just over double their original mass, did you feel any dizziness? A headache, maybe?"

"I felt a little light headed, so I decided to not push my luck anymore" Twilight nodded sagely

"Magical feedback, it's good that you stopped. If you pumped any more magic into yourself, you could have damaged your body" How about you try your other body parts?"

I nodded, concentrating once more

Half an hour later, I had managed to 'grow' the rest of my body to suit my 'new' arms. I say new, because about 10 minutes into the experimenting, I had stumbled upon a hidden..Feature of my powers, turns out I kept the alterations to any physical forms.. Kinda like saving a character's preset on a game. Panting, I turned to Twilight "Ha...Ha... Phew, Who knew you could feel like this just standing on the spot? Magic is the darndest thing.."

Twilight, who was just finishing off her notes, looked to me "Indeed it is, I'd like to see more of your matter altering abilities, though I suspect it's tied in slightly with your shapeshifting, that'd explain how you keep any changes to your body upon changing between forms"

I nodded "That makes sense, though can it wait? I'm pretty tired..."

"Of course! I've got lots of information already, I'll need to categorize this and compile it. Thank you, Tom."

I waved her off "Ahhh.. It's no problem, Twi... Man, I need a smoke. Maybe I've still got my tobacco?" bending down to pick up my clothes, I slipped my shirt back on. Checking the pockets of my jacket, I indeed found my tobacco and zippo lighter, safe and sound. I let out a sigh of relief, promptly sitting down and rolling up a quick smoke "Oh, hello precious... I need you" I said, caressing the little tube of nicotine goodness

Pocketing the tobacco once more, I turned to Twilight "Hey Twi, mind if I use your balcony for a second? I need a smoke" Twilight put on a look of disgust

"Urgh, I can't believe you do that... That's a disgusting habit! If you must, go ahead and use it.. Just make sure to close the door behind you! I don't want you stinking up the library, or my bedroom."

I thanked her, walking up the stairs and onto her balcony, closing the sliding glass door behind me. I leaned on the railing and lit up, inhaling the strong cancer inducing smoke, winding down contently "Ahhh, this is good... I think I'll star gaze tonight, Twilight said the weather was clear tonight..."

With that, I turned my gaze to the fields in the distance, puffing contently on my cigarette.

Canterlot

**Oh look, Equestria

Chapter 7 - Canterlot**---------------------

"Come on, Tom! We're going to be late!! Put that.... Thing down and hurry up!" I sighed. I recently dumped an old project of mine in favor of crafting faux armor pieces. I've gotten rather good at crafting and reshaping metals, considering I've been in Equestria only a week. But alas, royalty waits for no man. Setting down my unfinished miniature shoulder plate, I headed to the door, grabbing my 'special item' on the way out.

"Okay, I'm here. Which form do the princesses want me in? Stallion, or human?" I cocked an eyebrow, looking to Twilight expectantly

Twilight turned to me "For now, go with your stallion form. The princesses want a private audience with us, and only their personal guards have been briefed on your 'unique' circumstances. It should be fine once we're out of public eye. Now, hurry up! I'm NOT going to be late because of you, the chariot will be here any second!"

Urgh, she's been like this for over an hour now 'Do this, do that! Put this on, take that off' blah blah blah. I honestly don't understand what she's so worked up about. We're meeting the princesses, it's no big deal. I've met them before, they seem fine. I actually kinda like Luna, Celestia not so much.. "Twilight, calm your tits." Twilight turned to me, sputtering

"W..What are you, a pervert?!" 'Oh, and you're not?' I sighed

"It's a figure of speech, calm down... I don't even find ponies attractive, for Pete's sake..." I changed into stallion form, tightening a pair of saddlebags Twilight let me borrow. They were bright lavender, but so what. "So, darling do I look fabulous, or do I look fabulous?" I struck an extremely girly pose

This got a small giggle from Twilight, seems it worked to forget my faux pas "You look gorgeous, now let's go. The chariot's arrived!" and with that, the library door was swung open, followed by a pony and alien on their way to the white city.

After about half an hour of clinging to a purple pony princess for dear life on the back of a flying chariot, we arrived in Canterlot. Shakily, I climbed off the chariot, shooting Twilight a death glare "Y-You didn't tell m-me they flew!"

Twilight rolled her eyes "I don't see what the big deal is, chariot flight is very safe." she turned to face me "And besides, you spent half the journey with your face buried in my neck. Refusing to even look around!"

That's another thing, maybe it's just coincidence, but Twilight smells just like lavender! It's odd... "Yeah yeah, laugh it up.. I'm terrified of heights... Urgh, but enough of that. Which way?" I waved a hoof around infront of me, seriously... Canterlot's a freaking maze

Twilight sighed, pointing a hoof over her shoulder "Look behind you, genius" I turned around, and my jaw dropped. Right behind me was Canterlot Castle 'How the fuck didn't I notice that before?!' I was shaken from my thoughts by a chuckle to my side, casting a sidelong glance to my companion, she snickered again "impressive, isn't it?" 'Well, if you say so... Just look like a big white Taj Mahal to me...'

Picking my jaw up off the floor, I replied "Yeah sure, but how the blue bells didn't I notice that on the way?"

"Maybe because you were too busy hiding your face in my fur?" 'Oh yeah....'

I coughed, glancing around awkwardly "Yeah, could be... So, on we go?" I heard the guards laugh to themselves before flying off. Twilight nodded, pulling off ahead and gesturing for me to follow. We walked to the gates, some guards bowed to Twilight before opening the gate, ushering us on.

Twilight groaned, causing me to look her way, eyebrow cocked "I'm so not used to all this princess worship. It's awkward.." I laughed

"Well, princess Twilight Sparkle of Ponyville..." she shot me a glare "you'll have to get used to it soon enough" walking into the castle, we were greeted by what I could guess was a servant.

"Greetings Princess Twilight and Mr. Sharpshooter" I shot a questioning look to Twilight, she just grinned sheepishly back, muttering 'I'll explain later'. Turning my attention back to the maid, she carried on "My name is chamberpot" 'Oh good lord, that's fucking hilarious' I sputtered, before throwing a foreleg over my mouth, heaving with barely suppressed laughter. The maid glared at me, before turning her attention back to Twilight "....Yes, well.. As I was saying, if you and your.... gentlecolt friend would follow me, I'll show you to the princesses.

Twilight waved her off "No need, ms. Chamberpot" 'Oh lawwwddy' Twilight shot me a challenging glare "I can guide us there myself, thank you." Pisspot bowed, before walking off, grumbling to herself. We carried on down the hall, taking a left here... Right there.. 'Wow, this place is disorientating'. Suddenly, a wild Twilight appeared! I yelped at the sudden invasion of personal space, backpedaling and landing on my ass. "I can't believe you just did that!! How can you be so immature?!" she hissed at me, spitting venom with every word "I'll have you know, Chamberpot is a good family friend! I will not have you disrespecting her name" at this point we were muzzle to muzzle. With nothing else to say, I just nodded dumbly, wide eyed.

Twilight backed off, shooting me one last glare "Good." and with that, she turned around, slapping me in the face with her tail before walking off. 'Wow, she can be scary for a pony...' I thought to myself, picking myself up and hurrying along to catch up

Upon catching up to Twilight, I gave her a well earned gift, picked fresh "Here" sticking out my tongue, I scraped a long, purple strand of hair off, wiping on her flank "You can have that back, I'm not too fond of hair"

Twilight cringed "Ewwww, that's disgusting..." lighting up her horn, the hair levitated off her, then promptly burst into flames, leaving no trace "I guess I deserved that, I didn't even let you close your mouth first. Anyway, here we are!" low and behold, we were standing before a tall, ornate door. Twilight knocked a few times, walking in upon hearing a female voice say 'enter' from the other side

Shutting the door behind us, we were greeted by princess Celestia, sitting on a large, white cushion. Beside her lay a vacant dark blue one. "Ah, Twilight Sparkle, Sharpshooter, please sit. May I interest you in some tea?" offering a respectful nod of the head, I took a seat beside Twilight, shaking my head in negative

"Thank you for the offer, princess. But, tea isn't my thing" I waved her off

"Of course, and you Twilight?" Twilight nodded, pouring herself a cup "Well then, I'm sorry to say that my sister Luna is currently indisposed, she should be here shortly. In the meantime, why don't we catch up?" she smiled at us. Twilight, upon hearing this, lit up her horn. In a flash, there were a dozen scrolls, a couple books and even a test tube in front of her.

Twilight beamed at the princess' questioning look "I'll be happy to inform you of recent events, Celestia" 'le sigh, here we go...'

A few minutes of idle chatting later, we were still waiting for the Luna moony mare to show her blue ass to get onto the real reason we were here. I was about to ask the princess where Luna was, but she beat me with her own question "So, Tom, or do you prefer Sharpshooter?" she ask, eyebrow raised

Looking to her, I reply "either's fine with me, princess. I'm both, in a way." I smile

Celestia smiles back "very well, I'd very much like to see progress you've made on your shape shifting abilities. I must say, I've always been rather intrigued with such magics. Alas, I haven't had the chance to delve into it." she sighed, I gave her a questioning look "you see, Changelings are religiously devout to their queen, and would rather die before uttering a single secret to our kind."

"Huh, seems rather foolish if you ask me. But, sure. I'll be glad to show you my stuff." I revert to my human form, taking my shirt off "As you can see, I can alter my muscle mass" I proceed to 'shrink' my chest, before reverting it to its previous mass "It feels odd, but not uncomfortable." slipping my shirt back on, I turn to her

Celestia raised a foreleg to her chin, scratching it with a hoof "I must say, that is intriguing. Pray tell, what else can you perform?" I grin

"Well, I can transform into a pegasus, and unicorn.. Although I can't use unicorn magics. I'm not sure as to why yet, but me and Twilight can get to the bottom of that soon enough" turning to the mare in question, I wink to her. "As for my matter changing, I'm afraid I can't do much as of yet. I can pull minerals from the ground, at the most I'd say a foot deep. I can partially change their structure, though I'm getting rather good at shaping steel" I finish with a grin, crossing my arms

Celestia raised a brow "Shaping steel you say, you're not thinking of anything malicious now are you, Tom?"

I scoff "Of course not, princess. It's merely a side project. I'm currently building a rather special suit of armor, albeit on a miniature scale, but I'm planning on getting my measurements and creating a set for myself, too." I suddenly get a thought "Oh! That reminds me, princess. Your guards, their armor is made of gold, yes?" she nods "Why?"

Celestia was perplexed "Gold is magic resistant, though it holds enchantments rather well at the same time. Counter intuitive if you ask me, but it works in our favor. Why ask?"

I sigh "Gold is weak, it's soft... Malleable, it's a rather poor choice in armor materials if I do say so myself. I on the other hand, could offer you a very advanced alternative.... Well, I guess alternative would be the wrong word.. It's more like, very advanced under armor. Think of it as a good will gesture, I can tell you still don't trust me. So think of it as a gift, an exchange between races."

Celestia leaned in "Highly advanced, you say. Well, I'd like to see a demonstration of said material"

Twilight chose this moment to speak up "So that's what you've been so secretive about! Is it that weird cloth you keep on you all the time?" I nod, beaming a toothy smile

I'm about to reply, when a bright flash envelopes the room, accompanied by a loud crash reminiscent of lightning. Yelping, I hit the deck, but not before noticing something... Off... 'Oh god, did I just get zapped by lightning?! I feel weird' looking to myself, I cry out in surprise 'Good lord I'm a fucking cat! a little dark blue cat! Why am I a cat?! And why am I blue?!' I was cut off by anymore thoughts by a new voice

"Apologies for my lateness, everypony. I had a rather... Irate Blueblood to deal with." craning my neck up to look at the new arrival, I scowled. It was princess Luna, the mare who just scared me into a cat. 'Oh well, new transformation.. May as well take it for a spin' I looked to Twilight, jumping on the sofa and sitting beside her. She looks at me, dumbfounded.

Twilight leans into me, and whispers "Tom, is that you?" meow "Why are you a cat?" meow meow. She sighed "I can't believe I'm having a conversation with a cat... Just, change back already...." I roll my eyes, concentrating on my human form once more... Nothing happens. 'Well, that's weird...' I try again, nothing. Now, I have to admit.. I started to panic just a teensy bit, and by panic I mean meow loudly in distress "meeeeeoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow"

Suddenly, I have the attention of the whole room. Celestia giggles, Twilight sighs.. But Luna, Luna lights up like it's the forth of July! *gassssp* "By the stars, you're adorable!" Luna goes to stand, slowly cantering over to me. "I'm going to pet you, little one" 'Oh good lord, no!' I huddle closer to Twilight, hiding behind her hooves. I paw her foreleg to get her attention. Looking up, I give the best Puss in Boots eyes I could muster. It's super effective!

Twilight looks to Luna "I'm sorry Luna, I know how much you like cats... But, I'm not sure this one would appreciate you petting him" Luna raises eyebrow, but stops in her tracks none the less "The cat here, is Tom. You must have startled him with your rather... Flashy entrance, and caused him to transform."

Luna looks at me incredulously "Is that really you, human friend?" I nod "In that case, I must ask you a question" I raise an eyebrow, mewing in what I hoped was a 'what the hell do you want' tone "May I pet you?" '........What' I deadpan. Luna elaborates "I love kitties, and I've always dreamed of owning a cat of your colouration, though I would be happy with just a little petting" puppy dog eyes initiated! 'Well, when in rome, I gues....' I sigh, but nod relectantly, shuffling out of Twilight's protection. I don't even make it half way before I'm levitated into the arms of a squeeing blue princess, hugging the life out of me

Just when I think I'm going to die, Celestia comes to my rescue "Luna, release him! You'll crush him if you carry on like a school filly!" she admonishes Luna. Luna pouts, putting me down "I'd advise you to change back, Tom. As you may have guessed, my sister loves cats" Celestia says with plenty of amusement. After gaining my composure, I look to her and sigh, shaking my head. "What is wrong, can you not transform?" I shake my head. Celestia taps a hoof to her chin, before gesturing next to her "Please, come sit next to me. I shall try something."

I pad over, jumping next to Celestia "now hold still, I'll try to unlock your magic. Something may have blocked your flow when you were startled" Celestia lowers her horn, touching it to my head "Hmmm, ah yes. There seems to be a little back log. Nothing to worry about, I shall simply redirect it." I feel a tug, then relief "now, try transforming back. Though do take a few steps back, I wish not to be crushed by your larger form" she giggles. I stroll back over next to Twilight, before closing my eyes and concentrating. Low and behold, I'm back as a stallion

Looking down at myself, I sigh in content "Phew, that was too weird... Thank you, princess Celestia.. I was really worried for a second there" I give her a tired sigh "If I may be so bold, can we--" I was interrupted by the telltale sign of giggling beside me. Looking to my right, I see Twilight barely containing herself. I then get a devilish idea. Cocking my head ever so slightly "meow meow meow meow? mow..." Twilight looks fit to burst, that's when I struck. Leaning in, I rub my head to her neck, purring. It's at this moment that Twilight loses her shit, laughing hysterically. Twilight pushes me away, shaking her head. I stare at her for a few moments before bursting into laughter myself, followed soon by two ancient diarchs

Jimmies (Edited)

Oh look, Equestria

Chapter 8 - Jimmies

---------------------------

"So, now that we are all accounted for, this meeting can commence." Celestia spoke up, turning her attention to me "There are a few things we must discuss, but first is the matter of a certain altercation in Ponyville recently, between yourself and one 'Time Turner', I believe?"

I nodded "Yep, that's the guy. What seems to be the problem, princess?"

"I merely wish to have a better understanding of what happened for you to resort to breaking my subject's jaw in two places" Celestia scowled at me

I sighed "Alright, let me regale you with my tale"

-----

One explanation later, and yet another scolding from the 'Twilight Princess', Celestia threw in her two cents "So, I'm to assume this was a question of honor and pride, was it not?" I nodded "and the insult that threw you overboard was, and I quote 'city boy'" nod "it seems rather rash to stoop to violence over such a small comment"

Luna spoke up "I disagree, sister" looking to me "I see no problem with sir Tom's actions"

Celestia was taken aback by this "Luna! That is not how we do things anymore, there are far more ways to deal with problems than violence"

Luna snorted "though none work as well as a well placed hoof"

I laughed "That's what I've been saying! I may be a layed back, practically rather lazy individual, but I have a bad temper. And, it doesn't take much to make me flip. That prick insulted me, I tried to apologize and let it slide. He wasn't having any of it, I retaliated accordingly."

Celestia cringed "Be that as it may, it's rather barbaric"

"Human, meet pony. Pony, meet human." I leaned in, turning into my human self "We humans settle our differences much different than you ponies do. It was a matter of honor. He disrespected me, shrugged off all attempts at making amends, and carried on verbally abusing me; in the presence of a lady, no less. I shut him up."

Celestia sighed, facehoofing "Honor is a fickle thing, Tom. It goes hoof in hoof with pride. Have too much pride, and you become stubborn. I'll drop the matter, but be aware that you are indeed in our lands now, and you will respect our laws." Celestia glared at me

I grin 'If she didn't just pull that out of her ass, I'll eat my shoe' "Of course, thank you princess."

Luna turned to Celestia "Will that be all, dear sister?"

"Not yet, I believe Tom had something he wanted to show us"

Luna looked to me, eyebrow cocked "Oh? Pray tell, what have you brought to us?"

Reaching into my pocket, spurred on by a 'finally' being muttered under a certain somebody's breath next to me, I pulled out a thick, square piece of yellow fabric. Placing it on the table, I turned my attention to the princesses "Princess Celestia, princess Luna. What I have here is Kevlar. It is an extremely high tensile fabric, typically woven into coats or robes for added protection. Weight to weight, it is 5 times stronger than steel. It is virtually stab proof, it can deflect arrows, not all arrows bare in mind, and it's very light."

The princesses were awestruck. Luna found her voice first "We cannot possibly believe what you claim is true. I demand a demonstration!"

Celestia, shaken from her stupor by Luna, voiced her own opinion "indeed, if what you say is true, this could be a very valuable asset to our military."

Pulling my hunting knife from its sheath, I raised it a few feet directly above the bolt of Kevlar. Looking to the princesses, I noticed they had looks of shock "easy now, it's just a tool. I'm not planning an assassination" I rolled my eyes, turning my gaze back to the table, I stabbed the test armor as hard as I could several times. Setting the knife on the table, I handed the no worse for wear piece to Luna, her catching it with her magic.

Luna turned it over a few times checking it for any marks, leaning into her sister's ear they shared a few hushed words. Luna looked to me "This is impressive, Tom. Would you be opposed to us giving it a try?"

"Do your worst, princess. It's yours now, do with it what you please."

Several minutes later, all what was left of the Kevlar was a charred speck, with a very irritated lunar princess standing over it. "Huzzah! We are victorious, evil Kevlar! We have defeated you!" Luna turned, walking back to her sister and engaging in silent conversation with Celestia.

Twilight was amazed "That stuff is amazing! It even withstood a broadhead arrow from 10 feet with only minimal penetration. This could save lives!" Twilight looked to me "Just how advanced are the human race?" I saw a gleam in Twilight's eyes, a lust for knowledge

Very nonchalantly, I said "Ahhh, we're nothing special. One of our greatest feats was space travel. We've landed on our moon, sent robotic probes to other planets, too."

Twilight was broken. Her eye twitched sporadically, and a few hairs were raising from her mane, popping up with a *boink* sound "Th-that's..... Incredible, all that with no magic. It's incredible." Twilight looked to the floor, brows furrowed.

Needless to say, I was rather bored at this point. Everyone in the room was either muttering to themselves in an insane manner, or whispering to each other whilst throwing suspicious looks my way. T'was an awkward moment indeed. After what felt like hours, Celestia got my attention by clearing her throat "Me and my sister have conversed on the matter of this 'Kevlar', and we wholeheartedly accept your gift, and thank you deeply." Celestia smiled, slightly bowing her head

Luna spoke next "Indeed, t'is a truly remarkable material you have discovered, Tom.

'Well, I didn't discover it...' "Sorry to say this, princesses. But, I didn't invent it. Nor discover it. It was developed by someone else, a fair few years back. I merely pulled the information from my phone to make it. Which reminds me!" I pulled out some parchment from my jacket's inside pocket "This is all the information you'll need. Materials, its molecular structure, etc. Just remember this, it may be strong, but it's not impenetrable." the parchment was enveloped in a golden glow, before disappearing. I raised a brow at this, looking to Celestia

Celestia chuckled "Have no fear, I merely teleported it to my study. It shall be forwarded to our scientists later. One last thing from me, considering your gift to us I wanted to extend a job offer to you, Tom"

I raised a brow "doing what?"

"Royal guard, you said that you had experience in security"

I sighed "Princess, thank you for the offer. But, I have to respectfully decline" Celestia gave me a questioning look "Yes, I'm well acquainted with the security business. But, that experience is dealing with coked up punters and drunken idiots. I don't have the combat training, or discipline to become a soldier"

Celestia tried to persuade me "I assure you, you would get the necessary training"

"Sorry, but it's not going to happen" 'I don't particularly like you, either'

Celestia sighed, nodding "Very well, but know that the offer is still on the table, should you change your mind" she then looked to Luna "Do you have any parting words for our guests, sister?" Luna shook her head "Very well, our meeting is adjourned. You may leave at your own behest, you two"

I got Celestia's attention "Actually, princess. There is one thing I want to ask you"

Celestia gave me a questioning look "Oh? And what would that be?"

"Have you had any luck in finding me a way home?"

Celestia winced "Ah, I'm afraid the situation is looking a little.. Grim" 'Oh no.... Don't say it....' I closed my eyes, sighing "me and my sister have been working tirelessly for days, we even had some of our greatest scholars helping. Alas, we have found nothing..."

I opened my eyes, looking to Celestia with a pleading look "But, you can keep looking, right?"

Celestia gave me a pitying look "I'm sorry, Tom. I really am. You have my word that we will keep looking, but I'm afraid the chances of us finding a way to send you back are infinitesimal, at this point in time"

"....Oh, I see. T-thank you, princess Celestia, Luna... I have a lot to think about, in that case.." I got up, changing to my pony form and walking to the door, nudging Twilight on my way

Celestia stopped me with a gilded hoof on my shoulder, I turned to look into her eyes "please, Tom. Never give up hope"

I nodded grimly, before returning my gaze in front of me once more, walking off

Twilight, finally shaking herself from her insane chanting, waved the princesses off "It was nice to see you again, I'll make sure to visit again soon" and with that, the princesses of night and day were gone in a brilliant flash of light. Twilight glanced to me, before standing and making for the door "We should head back. Me and the girls are meant to be having a sleepover tonight"

I hung my head "Sure... Let's go, I have... A lot to think about"

Twilight looked to me, a concerned look "What's wrong?"

I looked to her, anger and disbelief in my eyes 'didn't she hear them!? Is she really that damn air headed?' "didn't you hear them?! You know what, don't worry about it. Let's.... Let's just go"

Twilight was taken aback "O-okay, sure"

The rest of the day went by uneventfully, we arrived back at Ponyville; I was measured up by Rarity as Twilight picked up Spike, and I carried on with my mini armor whilst Twilight milled around doing gods knows what. Apparently the girls will be arriving soon, and according to Ms. Sparkles, I've been 'broody' all day, and need to 'lighten up'. I didn't tell her what I was told in Canterlot, and I intend to keep it from her. She'll just think it was her fault, and drive herself to insanity over me. I won't allow it. So, Twilight told me I'm required to play at least ONE game with her and her friends, I picked truth or dare. Could be fun, afterall

Engrossed as I was in shaping a shoulder plate, I didn't even notice the presence of a certain blue pegasus tapping me on the shoulder "Hey dude, what'cha workin' on there?"

I looked back, seeing Rainbow Dash "Oh, hi Rainbow Dash. This little thing? Just a shoulder plate for a mock set of armor I'm cooking up. After I'm done making this mini-set, I'll work on one for myself"

She looked at the piece intently "awesome, hey... That looks like it'd fit Spike! Where is the little drake anyhoo?"

I motioned up the stairs "he went to bed a little while ago. Apparently kissing the very ground Rarity walks on is very tiring"

Rainbow chuckled "Yeah, he does have a bit of a crush. He means well, though."

I sighed, completely uninterested "Yeah, I'm sure he does." turning my head back to work on the piece, I was interrupted by a cacaphony of voices coming through the library door. Looking back again, I saw the arrival of the other 4 of Twilight's gang, I nodded to them. Fully intent on just getting on with my work, ignoring the world around me

Twilight came down the stairs, pillows in tow. Since my arrival here, my bed had been moved into the spare room, so the foyer was once again usable. Laying the seven pillows down, Twilight greeted her friends "Girls! It's so wonderful you could all make it. We're going to have so much fun!" she squeeled, clapping her hooves together

Roughly an hour had passed, the girls had played this and that game, gossiped, had make overs etc. The classic girly shit. I had since gotten bored with the armor, and had elected to sit back and watch from afar. That is, until the bottle came out "Okay girls, time for truth or dare! Tom's going to be joining us for this one, isn't that right?" Twilight said, looking back to me

I grunted, arms crossed "I guess I am." getting up, I joined the circle of colourful ponies. Looking around, they all had surprisingly unreadable expressions "So, who's first"

Rainbow spoke up "Oh! Me, me!" she spun the bottle with a wing, chuckling evilly to herself. The bottle made a few revolutions before slowing down, ending on me. Rainbow looked to me, mischievous smirk adorning her face "So, monkey boy. Truth or dare"

"Truth"

Rainbow 'hmmed' to herself, asking "Alright, let me think.... Ah! Have you ever jumped off a cliff before?"

I laughed "No, but I fell off one once, broke several of my bones and collapsed a lung. Developed double pneumonia too, I'm lucky to be alive" all the ponies gasped "don't start, it was a long time ago. Forget about it and move on" I spun the bottle, fast as I could. The bottle landed on Pinkie Pie. "Alright ms. Pie, truth of dare?"

Pinkie all but screamed "Dare!"

I chuckled "Alright, let's have a think... I dare you toooooooooo" Pinkie leaned in closer "lick Twilight like a dog" looking over to Twilight, I laughed at her outraged expression

Twilight opened her mouth to protest, but was cut off by a pink cannonball pinning her to the floor, licking her face relentlessly "Ewwww Pinkie, stop it! Get off me!"

Pinkie giggled, jumping off Twilight and returning to her spot "Okie dokie!"

The game carried on like this for a while, the ponies daring each other to do ridiculous things. Applejack spun the bottle, it landed on me. "Hooo doggy, 'bout time! Truth or dare, mr. Human?" Applejack spoke in her southern Drawl

I thought for a moment 'fuck it, she might have something interesting' "Dare"

Applejack grinned "I dare you, ta make Rainbow over there laugh with ONE word" 'is that it...?'

I shrugged "that won't be difficult" looking to Rainbow Dash, she was glaring at me with competitive ferocity

Rainbow eyed me up and down, holding her glare "bring it, monkey boy"

I shrugged again, neutral expression, my eyes boring into hers. I spoke a single word, leaning in slightly "sperm"

Of course, as I'd suspected Rainbow Dash crumbled. Laughing her ass off 'just as I thought, childish... Mind you, I guess I'm not much better myself' I smirked faintly. Getting up without a word, I returned to my corner completely uninterested. If I looked back at that moment, I would've probably crumbled into laughter myself over the red faces and wing boners produced by that single word

The 'party' eventually wound down. A few of the girls were dozing off, trying to stay awake. Twilight had gone off to get some blankets and what-not for her friends. Not long after she left, she returned with a charred mess. "I'm sorry girls, but it looks like Spike burnt the spare blankets... Again" she sighed, not knowing where they'd stay for the night "I don't know where you can sleep, I only have one spare bed, and you won't all fit into that"

I got up, waving Twilight off "Take my bed. It's big enough for at least 3 of you, I'm not sleeping tonight anyway"

Twilight looked to me, confused "You can't possibly just stay up all night"

I raised a brow "And why not? Who made you the resident human specialist? Do you know my sleeping pattern?"

"I'd assume it was the same as ponies, if I'd have to hazard a guess" Twilight replied confidently

I glared at Twilight "well, let me tell you something.. I guess you could say I'm partially nocturnal. I stay up through the day and following night, only sleeping on the next night. So as I said, take my bed. I won't be sleeping until tomorrow"

nodding reluctantly, Twilight sighed "Alright, thank you. That evens it out" and with that, the girls departed. giving me quiet thanks on their way to their respective sleeping areas for the night. I waited a few minutes, making sure all the ponies were sleeping before changing into my pony form, intent on slipping out of the library when I was stopped by Twilight "Is something bothering you Tom? You look a little depressed"

I started slightly, turning around I saw Twilight giving me a concerned look "Yeah, there is. Do I want to talk about it? No. I'll deal with it in time, I just need that time to myself to get my shit together. I'm going out for a bit, I'll be back in a little while" I turned around, not noticing the hurt expression Twilight was currently adorning. Stepping out of the library, I looked around before spotting the perfect place. A hill just on the outskirts of the Everfree. I trotted down the road, making my way to the hill and parking my pony butt on the ground once reaching the top. Little did I know, was that a certain purple princess had followed behind me, slinking into a bush just out of sight

Craning my neck up, I looked to the sky, letting a sigh escape my lips as I contemplated. Looking at the Equestrian moon, I couldn't help but stare at it. It was so much closer than Earth's moon, it looked amazing. "The moon here is absolutely breath taking. I wonder what effects it has on the tides here, or maybe 'magic' overrules that law" I scoffed. Magic... If there's one thing I've noticed in my short time here, is that magic makes you complacent, lazy. Unable to adapt, to evolve. Everything the human race isn't. It just goes to show how far I truly am from home. I hung my head

Suddenly, I was interrupted by a soft voice behind me "hasn't anypony informed you of the dangers of being so close to the Everfree, Sharpshooter?" 'Luna' I though

Not even bothering to turn around, I wait for her to take a seat next to me before replying "Hi, princess Luna. To answer your question, I've heard little talk of that forest. If anything, I feel at home being so close to the Everfree. Everything is natural, the way things should be. Untamed, un touchable. The planet's primal state in its finest. Urgh, but listen to me yammering on, what brings you out here?"

"I sensed a certain human wasn't dreaming, and I remembered what you said about preferring my night. I thought I'd pay you a visit, and talk on recent... Events"

I scoffed "what's there to talk about? I'm in magical pony land, stuck here till the day I die, away from home. Away from my family"

Luna gained a comforting look "Do not condemn yourself so early, there is still a chance. You shouldn't dwell on it, I know from experience that dark thoughts send you to dark places. Please, for your own well being, do not fall to depression"

I snorted "Hah, let's get real here, princess. You and your sister control Celestial bodies, you've both over a thousand years of knowledge each, on top of that you had your best god damned Dumbledore wannabes all trying to find a way for me to get home. Hope is gone, it's obvious I'm not going back. You both know this already. I've just lost everything I held dear, do you really expect me to just forget about my life?"

Luna hung her head "We are going to try our best, regardless if there is no hope remaining. And of course I do not, but tell me. Would your family, your friends wish for you drive yourself to ruin over something unavoidable?"

"Hah, no. My dad would probably tell me to stop being a baby and man up..." I smiled slightly

Luna smiled "No matter how far away you are, you shall always have family close to your heart. I'm not asking you to forget about them, but I am asking for you to let yourself move on should you not return. It will be hard, you will feel like you're betraying them, but know that you are not. For you shall always have them with you, as long as you remember them"

I sighed "Nice sentiment. That doesn't change the fact that I don't belong here. I'm a human, an alien. Sure, I have the power to transform into one of you, but that's not me. I'm an outsider, princess. I'll never fit in, instead I have to live behind a mask of lies and deceit. I can't even so much as send my family a message to say that I'm alright"

Luna raised a brow "What of this 'internet' Twilight Sparkle has mentioned in reports? She claimed that you can 'e-mail' others. I am confident our ponies would accept you in time. Twilight Sparkle and her friends seem to trust you, what makes it so hard to believe that others will not?"

"Firstly, no... I've tried that. It's hard to explain, but my internet just seems... Frozen.... Back to the issue at hand, humans don't trust someone they've just met so willingly. It's foolish and naive to do such a thing. Why do you think I'm so sour to your sister? The first thing she did to me was attempt to manipulate me. I'm never going to trust her." I snarked, rather nastily

"Quarrels with my sister aside, you think our ponies are naive?" Luna snorted

"Yes, I do. Because they are. Everything around you" I waved a foreleg a full 360 "is fake. Manufactured to help your ponies sleep at night, hell.. Even the damn weather is regulated. Do you know how boring sunlight is every day? It's infuriating! Where's the rain for crying out loud?! That over there, the Everfree. That's true harmony. There's predator and prey, weather is unpredictable, there's a natural order"

"Firstly, our ponies would definitely not be as terrified as your true form as you think. Although you're different, you resemble the Minotaurs..... Somewhat. And the Everfree, that is a very chaotic place. You think chaos is harmonious?" Luna raised a brow

I snorted " Hah! Minotaurs, who would've guessed.. Do they have labyrinths here too? And no, chaos is chaos. But without chaos, there can be no harmony. Without harmony, there can be no chaos. One cannot exist without the other. Chaos is the weight on the opposite end of the scale, it provides the order. You take that away, and things get stagnant. People get complacent, unable to move on, to advance... Hell, I've even been debating whether to plot out some land and make myself a home in the Everfree. It's the only damn thing that's normal around here, normal for me anyways. Besides, we're getting off topic"

A light chuckle was heard to my right. Looking over, I see Luna eyeing me in amusement "The stars make you quite the philosopher, I see"

"You call that philosophy? Pff" 'If that's what ponies think is philosophical, maybe all hope for them really is gone'

Luna let out a content sigh, lying on her stomach and slipping both forelegs underneath her "Ahhh, this is nice, is it not? Laying under the stars, letting your concerns wash away." I huffed slightly, causing Luna to look to me "you feel better, do you not?" I didn't answer "Give it time, I'm sure you will find peace" she got up. Flaring her wings, Luna was about to take off as I stopped her

"Princess, wait" she turned slightly, giving me a sidelong glance "You probably don't get much time off, being who you are and all. Why don't you take this night off, pull up a chair... Have a cold one?"

Luna gave me a warm smile "I'd like that, I'm sure the nobles of my night court can stay their squabbles for a single night" and with that, Luna sauntered back over, taking a seat next to me.

"Digrif gan bob aderyn ei lais ei hun" I muttered, more to myself than anything

Luna looked to me, brows furrowed "Pray tell, what does that mean?" throwing off her regalia.

I looked to her "Huh? Oh, you heard that?" she nodded "It means 'every bird relishes his own voice' "

Luna laughed "That explains the nobles very well indeed. I have one more question, though. What is a 'cold one'?"

"Something I'm in desperate need of right now" I laughed, shaking my head

"Were you serious about making yourself a home in the Everfree, of all places?" Luna asked, brows furrowed

"Yes, I was. As I said... It feels right for me, you know? Everything is natural in there! Things are the way they're supposed to be. Like home.. Like Earth" I gazed up at the stars 'I wonder if one of those is the good ol' blue planet...'

Luna gave a faint smile "there's much more to you than what meets the eye, Tom. You are definitely not one of our ponies"

I idly started flattening the grass in front of me with a hoof "so many people have said that to me in the past... Well, except from the pony bit.. Truth is princess, I'm nothing special, if anything I'm kind of a dick"

Luna gave a question look, but said no more. We sat there, gazing up at the stars. Both silent for a while, Luna broke the silence "To-er, Sharpshooter. I wish to extend an offer similar to my sister's to you"

I sighed "you want me to be a royal guard, too?"

Luna shook her head "Yes, but not one of those fools in golden armor"

I look to her "Oh really? Elaborate"

Luna then launched into explanation of just what the night guard is, what they do and everything in between

"So these, Thestrals... They make up the entirety of the night guard?" Luna nodded "and I'd be expected to 'blend in' so to speak, yes?" Luna nodded again. I thought on this for a while, I wasn't too fond of Celestia as it was, but Luna was nice enough. "I...I don't know, like I said back at Canterlot.. I don't think I'd be cut out for something like that. I can't even read Equestrian script"

Luna tried to persuade "The hours will fit you nicely, I've noticed that your sleeping pattern is rather different. As for your pay, I can safely say that you will be getting a fair amount of bits. Even more so than what my sister offers for her branch of guards"

I raised a brow "And the reading? You seem rather.. Eager to get me on board, princess"

She snorted "I must admit, your magic will benefit us greatly. It would be ideal for covert operations. And worry not about reading, I shall forward any orders to you myself, so that I may enchant them with a translation spell for you to be able to read. That is, until you can read Equestrian coherently"

I thought on it for a minute, weighing in the pros and cons. One one hand I needed a job, I couldn't just sit on my arse all day, no. I wasn't like that. Though on the other I've never really been one to follow orders.. I liked doing things my own way. "You know, Luna. I have trouble following orders. I prefer to do things my own way, I always have"

Luna smiled "Ah, you're that type of individual. I'll have you know that my night guard is comprised of some of the greatest soldiers this side of Equestria, and they are very good at what they do"

I lowered my head in contemplation 'This isn't going to be a cake walk... At all, though it'd be a nice new challenge, and I'd get to spite Celestia. Agh' "can I have some time to think it over? I like the sound of it and all, but I feel like this is hell of a sudden. Either way I'd have to see a Thestral first. I need to know what they look like"

Luna gave me a knowing grin, shouting to the sky "of course you may have time to think over my offer. I understand it is a lot to ask. Now, sergeant, if you would?"

Excursions and Awkwardness

**Oh look, Equestria

Chapter 9 - Excursions and Awkwardness**

"Sergeant, if you would?" Luna said to a seemingly empty sky,not even a second later I heard a dull thump to my right. Looking over, I saw the oddest armored pony I've ever laid eyes upon. She was just a tad shorter than me, had a dark gray coat, long royal blue mane that covered one of her slitted, yellow eyes and a long tail, just shy of touching the floor. She had fangs and... Bat wings? 'wow, she looks amazing'

The Thestral looked to Luna, saluting "My princess, how may I be of service?"

Luna smiled to her guard "At ease, sergeant Silverwind. I merely called you so Sharpshooter could look upon your form"

The sergeant raised a brow, looking to me "I beg your pardon?"

I sighed, facehoofing "Thanks a bunch, princess. Now she thinks I'm some sort of creeper" I looked back to Silverwind "let me elaborate, I need to know what a Thestral looks like. And, I must say.... I like what I see" I cringed inwardly 'Oh gods, that sounded so much better in my head'

Comprehension adorned the sergeant's face "Oh really? You're not too bad yourself... So, no running? No fear? What gives?" 'Oh shit she thinks I was flirting' screaming internally, I put on a neutral face

I cocked my head, choosing to just ignore that first comment and go with it "Is there a reason I should fear you?"

She smiled at this "that depends, but normally ponies are scared of a Thestral regardless"

I laughed "As you more than likely know, I'm not a pony"

Luna got our attention with a curt 'ahem', my head snapped to her "Yes, as I was saying. As I'm sure you are aware of Sharpshooter's circumstances, I shall skip the formalities. Sharpshooter, please inspect sergeant Silverwind, take in her every detail"

I looked to Silverwind "This seems rather.... Invasive, princess. I'll only do it if I have sergeant Silverwind's permission, first"

The sergeant raised a mithril clad hoof to her chin, seemingly deep in contemplation "hmmmm.... Ahhhh...... Hmmm......" she started circling me, eyeing me up and down "Ahuh, ahuh...." completing the circle, she looked me in the eye "sure! I just got a load of you, so consider us even. And for the love of the moon, just call me Silverwind" she flashed a toothy smile

I shrugged "good enough for me" standing up, I started circling Silverwind, inspecting her wings, coat, teeth and mane. I noticed that her coat and mane looked more streamlined than that of a normal pony. 'probably to help with speed' I thought. Continuing my rounds, soaking in her figure. Taking one last quick look at her fangs, I nodded thanks to her. Turning to look at Luna "right then, I think I have what I need...."

Luna clapped her forehooves together "Excellent! Now, if you would please transform, the sergeant shall tell you if you have anything wrong"

I looked around our surroundings, checking for any eavesdroppers. Satisfied, I first changed into my human form, clenching my fingers in satisfaction "ahhh, that feels good" looking to the sergeant, I held out a hand "nice to meet you, I'm Tom"

the sergeant didn't looked fazed in the slightest, taking my hand and shaking it "sergeant Silverwind, a pleasure. Though which name would your prefer? Tom, or Sharpshooter?"

I slumped, huffing "That was a lousy reaction... Waitta burst my bubble.. And just call me Sharpshooter when I'm not in my true form, any other time I look like I do now, call me Tom. Better to get into the habit so others don't blurt out my real name in public. Anyways!" I concentrated on a Thestral form, altering it slightly to what I believed would be a male shape, as well as a few... Experimental changes. I soon felt the familiar transformation take hold. Upon completion, I opened my eyes and was taken aback by the clarity of my new-found vision "holy shit, Thestral vision kicks ass. Gotta admit, these fangs feel odd, but not much different from my normal canines. So Silverwind, how'd I do?"

Silverwind shook her head, I guess the transforming weirded her out somewhat "that... Was the most disturbing thing I have ever seen..." She started circling me once again, taking in my new form "looks good, you've got it dead on. The orange eyes are a little rare, but not unheard of. Spread your wings" I did as she asked "wings look good, membrane is healthy." walking back infront of me, she smiled "you're a Thestral, through and through" she then gazed back at my flank "Ah! One thing though, get rid of the cutie mark, Thestrals don't get them"

I smiled, removing that damned tramp stamp. I hated cutie marks with a passion. They dictated what a pony was going to be good at for the rest of their lives, it felt so wrong to me. So unnatural. "I like this, a lot.... It feels good, especially getting rid of that damned mark. Gods, do I hate them. Hey princess, think you could conjure up a mirror for me?"

Luna smiled and nodded, horn alight. With a quick flash and a *pop!* there was a tall mirror standing before me, allowing me to gaze upon my glorious self. I had the same short and spikey hair style as my earth pony form, but this time it was a deep, dark blue colour. My tail was exactly the same, too. My fur was a charcoal gray colour, funnily enough I still had that damned gray patch in my mane, too. My facial features were what blew me away the most, though. I had deep orange slitted eyes, just like I wanted. I had my own pair of fangs, whiter than even Celestia's coat. Strangely, I noticed that my body was slightly less bulky, and more toned than usual 'probably to facilitate the use of my wings' I mused. I finished gawking at myself, nodding to the princess to dispel the mirror once more

Luna and Silverwind both exchanged glances. Silverwind looked back to me "just remember, it's not the nicest thing for a Thestral getting stuck out in the day time. Our eyes are sensitive, and the ponies can get... Uneasy around us"

I scowled "damn racists, what the fuck is their problem? And the eye thing might not be a problem, I could probably alter them in some way if the need arose" 'huh, reminds me of a certain Zebra Twilight told me about'

Luna cut in "That, is a long story. It would take a while to explain. Let's just say that their history isn't the brightest. It is I, who is to blame for that" Luna hung her head, looking sorrowful

I tried to lighten the mood a little "then let's leave it at that. Who wants to go for a walk?" I started to walk down the hill in the direction of Ponyville, when Luna stopped me

"As much as I would love that, I really need to get back to Canterlot, it was a pleasure, Sharpshooter" She turned to Silverwind "you may return to your rounds, sergeant"

I sighed, dejected "Alright then, just don't be a stranger princess. I liked our little chat. Gods, I need a drink"

Speak of the devil, Luna came to my rescue! "I believe I can help with that. It seems your 'Kevlar' has been greatly appreciated by our generals, field tests have proven its capabilities. And they are very impressed with it. With any luck, it shall be standard issue within 6 months. As such, me and my sister have found it fitting to grant you payment" her horn lit up, and with a flash of magic I had a pair of rather weighty dark blue saddlebags. "In those saddlebags you shall find your payment of 3,000 Equestrian bits. The bags are merely a bonus"

I was shocked, to say the least "Wow, thank you, princess"

Luna raised a leg, waving me off "think nothing of it, and please.. Call me Luna, I'd like to consider you a friend. Oh, and I shall send for you as soon as possible. Tell Twilight Sparkle that you should be expecting mail from me via dragonfire. Inside you shall find all the information you'll need about the guard. I shall save you from the propaganda, you do not look like the one who would appreciate it" and with that, she took flight in the direction of Canterlot. I started off to Ponyville, once again being stopped. This time by a hoof on my shoulder. I craned my neck around, and saw none other than sergeant Silverwind. I raised a brow at her

"I thought you might need a drinking buddy, besides... My shift has already ended, and you don't know where any bars are" she got an evil smirk

I chuckled "talk about backing me into a corner, huh. Sure, I'd like that. Lead the way, sergeant!"

Silverwind gave me a triumphant smirk, flaring her wings "you can fly, right?"

"Well, I've never tried... But, I didn't have to learn to walk on four legs, it seemed to already be imprinted in my head. I'm guessing it'll be the same for flight" I flared my wings, giving them a few test flaps. I looked up, spotting a cloud above me. In what felt like one quick motion, I was in the air and resting atop a cloud, incredibly it felt like I'd always had wings, it was really weird. Silverwind landed next to me shortly after

Silverwind gave a low whistle "well, there's the answer to that. You're quite fast. Anyways, follow me. I want some cider in me" Silverwind flared her leathery wings, taking off down the night lit market place with me hot on her tail

The flight to the 'bar' didn't take all that long, turns out flight wasn't even half as bad as I thought it'd be. Weirdly, my phobia of heights seemed to disappear when under my own airborne locomotion. We touched down just outside the tavern, Silverwind just ahead. Upon entering, my nostrils were instantly hit with the all too familiar smell of alcohol. The atmosphere inside was what you'd expect. There were ponies talking to one another, laughing and dancing with tankards in hoof. The tavern's layout was rather simple; the bar was to our right, resting against the far wall with various posters and bar paraphernalia. Bottles of various alcoholic beverages lined the shelves behind the bar stallion whilst he was idly wiping a glass with a rag. Off to our left was a stage with what looked like DJ equipment, minus the DJ. Seat cubicles lined the walls, and there was a single pool table directly in the middle of the tavern. How ponies play pool, I'll never fathom.

Silverwind got my attention "come on, drinks are on you" she expressed rather matter of factly, getting behind me and pushing me to the bar

The bar stallion saw us coming, raising a brow at the two Thestrals in his bar but saying nothing about it "so, what can I get you two?" the large earth pony had a southern accent, similar to that of Applejack

I tapped my chin, looking over what he had when something in particular caught my eye "I'll have the hard cider, please"

The bar stallion nodded, turning to Silverwind "and what about you missy?"

Silverwind replied in kind, moments later we both had our drinks in hoof and had retired to a secluded table. We sat in silence for a moment, I decided to break the ice "So, what's the lunar guard like? If I'm gonna be one of them, I wanna know"

Silverwind looked to me "it's pretty much standard guard stuff, except the fact that we deal with the covert side of things. We operate during the night, patrolling Canterlot and the smaller settlements. I can't really go into too much detail until you're actually a part of the guard itself"

I nodded in understanding, finishing off my first tankard and beckoning the barmaid over to request a refill, Silverwind following close behind

"So, what's it like being...You know, what ever it is you are?" Silver asked

I laughed a hearty laugh "The term is human, and it's good... I guess? I take it you want to know more about humans in general eh?" she nodded "well, to put it simply. Humans are omnivorous, violent, magic-less territorial assholes. We love bacon, technology and war. We're not all like that, but it's impossible to pin humanity with just a couple words" Silverwind nodded in understanding "so what about the Thestrals?"

Silverwind lit up "you're.... Actually interested?" she cocked her head

"Of course I am, let me guess... Ponies don't want anything to do with you?"

She sighed "Pretty much, but to answer your question we're not unlike normal ponies, though we do have our differences. Such as our improved eyesight, we can see for miles in the dark. We have much better hearing too" she flapped her ears in a cute way 'wait... Cute? Fuck, this cider must be stronger than it looks' I shook my head, giving my attention back to Silverwind "we're optimised for the night. Lighter on our hooves, stronger wings, better senses. The perfect infiltrators" she finished with a smug smirk "Oh, and no as you put it 'tramp stamps'. Pretty awesome, huh?"

I shook my head in a good nature "you're telling me, I haven't been in this form for 20 minutes, and I'm already loving it. Much better than a normal pony" I raised my now empty tankard "Hey barkeep, keep 'em comin' for me and my friend here!"

The barkeep nodded, giving me a mock salute "Yes sir!"

The night went on like this for a good hour or so, me and Silver drinking away. It had started with a simple drinking game, then soon descended into an all out free for all of seeing how much booze your could throw down your muzzle the quickest. Needless to say, we were both pretty hammered. I got pretty cheery in my drunken stupor, and urges started to settle in. So, I did the first thing that came to me; drunk singing!

I looked to Silverwind, she seemed to be giggling about something "w-what's so fu*hic!* funny?"

Silverwind's giggling evolved into outright laughter "You want to sing, do*hic!* don't you? I can see it in your *hic!* eyes"

I nodded, staggering up onto the table and lowering my head in contemplation, thinking of a song that would be fitting for such an occasion... I didn't know any drinking songs, and I sure as hell wasn't going to sing something in Welsh. Nobody would even understand the lyrics!

I started thinking artists, albums and groups in general. I then had it, the song I was going to grace my audience with. I concentrated on warping my vocal chords, changing the pitch and depth of my voice. I gave a quick 'ahhhh' to test, perfect. I turned back to Silverwind, giving my best gentleman smile, I managed so compose myself and not slur any words

"This song is dedicated to you, Ms. Silverwind, it is called 'Children of the Night'" I sounded just like David Coverdale, a Welsh David Coverdale.. It was damn glorious.

Silverwind's ears perked up, and a mischievous smirk adorned her face "well, let's hear it already!" she shouted, getting the attention of the entire tavern. In seconds, all eyes were upon me

I looked around the tavern, searching for something important, something imperative... Aha! There it was, already in the hooves of a pony on the stage. An electric guitar. The pony nodded to me and started to play. To my utter bewildermind, it was the exact song I was going to sing. Magic is fucking awesome at times, it seems. Admittedly it sounded odd without a drummer, but you can't have everything

I took one last moment to compose myself, then started to sing

I'm getting ready

I'm in the mood to fool around

It's time for action

Now the boys are back in town

Jumping off the table, I started strutting towards the stage

So turn up the muuuuusic,

Make it loud and proud

Let's see reaction

Let the spotlight hit the crowd

I leapt at the stage, grabbing a mic and turning the face the growing crowd

Don't hide what you feel inside,

Don't let anybody stand in your way,

Just let the music take you higher

Now are you ready to rock,

Children of the night

Are you ready to roll,

Children of the night

I could feel the atmosphere of the room, ponies were smiling madly, dancing and bobbing their heads. I looked to Silverwind just in time for her to down her next drink, she looked over to me and flared her wings, launching a few feet in the air and joining me on stage. I let her take the next bit

You got the power,

I feel your fire in my soul

You got the fever,

'Cos you were born to rock an' roll

Don't run for cover,

I'm gonna show you what I've learned

Just come a little closer,

Come on an' get your fingers burned

Don't hide what you feel inside,

Don't let anybody stand in your way,

Just let the music take you higher.

Now are you ready to rock,

Are you ready to roll,

Are you ready to rock...

Silverwind belted out the notes. Her singing voice was spectacular. Almost like a siren song, it was so soft, yet carried just the right amount of power behind it. At this point, the tavern was thrown into utter chaos. Tables had been over turned, glasses had been smashed, ponies were atop tables jumping and dancing, there was even a brawl going on behind the bar. True pandemonium, I loved it. One the solo was finished, we both plunged into the next bit together

Now are you ready to rock,

Children of the night

Are you ready to roll,

Children of the night

I'm getting ready,

I'm in the mood to fool around

It's time for action,

'Cos now the boys are back in town

Don't hide what you feel inside,

Don't let anybody stand in your way,

Just let the music take you higher.

Now are you ready to rock,

Children of the night

Are you ready to roll,

Children of the night

Are you ready to rock,

Children of the night

Are you ready to roll,

Children of the night

Are you ready to rock,

Are you ready to roll,

Children of the night

Just let the music take you higher...

We finished the song as a duet, apparently singing in Equestria sobers you up. Quite the buzzkill, if you ask me... As the music died down I looked over the bar and winced, it didn't look good at all... Tables and windows were smashed, the pool table was on fire, there was even a mare fending off another pony acting like a dog with a stick... I was interrupted by a tap on my side, I looked to Silverwind

"Maybe we should leave, I think we've done enough" Silverwind giggled, gesturing to the door and making a 'shh' face. I nodded, and together we snuck towards the exit. Before we left, popped open a saddlebag with my teeth and grabbed out a bag of bits. I looked to Silverwind

"Hey, Silfervind, vat dov vith thay?" I spoke through a mouth full of burlap, gesturing to some writing on the front of the bag

Silverwind looked at the bag, cocking her head to the side "It says 500 bits, why?"

I thought on this for a second 'How much did we drink? How much would the damages be?' I eventually just mentally shrugged, turning to the barkeep and spitting the bag into an outstretched hoof. I got the bar stallion's attention "Hey, barkeep!"

The bar stallion looked in my direction, drying his eyes momentarily to glare at me. I threw the bag at him, making it bounce off his head and hit the floor with a *clink* "take that, ya wanker!" I then took to the air, hovering over Silverwind and grabbing her by the midsection and flying out the now vacant doorframe. I looked to the darkened sky, spotting a nearby cloud I flew up and dropped Silverwind on it, plonking myself to her side

Silverwind was laughing hysterically for a good few minutes. After she composed herself she spoke up "wh-what was that?!"

I changed my voice back to normal "that.. Was Whitesnake, and the power of rock and roll" I smirked at Silverwind "You've got a beautiful singing voice Silverwind"

Silverwind looked away bashfully "you think so? That voice thing you did pretty good too. I had fun tonight"

"yeah, I had fun too. First time since arriving here..." I hung my head

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with having fun here. Just because you might be stuck here doesn't mean you have to resign yourself to wallow" Silverwind admonished

I smiled faintly "yeah, it's nice to finally enjoy myself. The company's pretty good, too"

Silverwind snickered, poking me with a foreleg "you're not too bad yourself" she then gave me a sad smile "I know what it's like, being an outsider and an outcast. You can talk to me about it if you want. Unlike those ponies you've been stuck with, I actually understand what it is you're going through" she muttered the last sentence barely above a whisper

I looked into Silverwind's eyes dumbfounded as to what just brought that on. 'Why is she being so open..? We've only just met..'. Needless to say, I felt a little awkward. But Silverwind seemed nice enough, why not open up to her if nobody else? I shrugged mentally "sure, I think I'd like to get it off my chest" giving her a slightly awkward smile

And so we did. For the rest of the night we sat there, secluded on our single cloud with nobody but each other. I eventually got over the initial awkwardness after we shared a few of our 'darker' secrets with each other. We laughed and even shed a few tears together, truly letting our inhibitions go for a single night. I learned that Silverwind lost her parents in a blood feud when she was just a child. With nowhere else to go, she wandered from place to place. Luckily an old pony found her and sent her to an orphanage, but not just any orphanage. This one was apparently funded by the crown itself, later Luna inducted Silverwind into the night guard. She quickly ascended through the ranks to be a sergeant, apparently she was rather adept at subterfuge. We had bonded somewhat by the end of it. I had finally made what I would consider my first real friend since coming here

I felt good having confided in Silverwind, and in turn having her confide in me. Just laying here with the cool breeze of the night air brushing against us. The soft, pliable cloud beneath us providing a comfortable rest.

"You know, princess Twilight was spying on us when we were talking with princess Luna" Silverwind furrowed her brow

I raised a brow "Oh really? That doesn't surprise me at all, she looks the type who can't keep her nose out of where it doesn't belong"

"mhmm, she snuck back soon after you transformed into a Thestral. She looked pretty concerned"

I sighed "that girl is persistent..."

Silverwind looked at me in disbelief "aren't you the least bit annoyed that she spied on you?

I shrugged, nonplussed "no, as long as she doesn't bother me and try to 'help me with my problems'. If anything, it'll save me a conversation with her"

Silverwind gave a slow 'hmmm' "so do you think you'll accept Luna's offer? From what she told me, you were pretty adamant in your standing with Celestia"

"I don't know, I need some time to think it over. The pros far outweigh the cons, and I'm going to need to find myself a job eventually anyway. I'd be stupid not to accept a well payed job offered up by princess Luna no less" It was then when I just thought of something rather silly, and couldn't help but laugh

Silverwind looked to me confused "what's so funny?"

"Well, I remember back on earth when I'd look up at the stars and think 'is there anyone else out there? We can't be the only ones'. And well, turns out I'm that someone else. I'm the alien now, it's ironic. Here I am, the alien befriending a native whilst lying on a cloud. Where I come from, this would be downright absurd. I'm surprised that I even tried jumping on a cloud to begin with, I wouldn't have even known you could were it not for me spotting that Rainbow girl lazing on one"

Silverwind giggled "well at least you're not a little green stallion". We both shared a quiet laugh

I was really enjoying myself atop a cloud with the sergeant as company, but all good things must come to an end. I was going to have to get back soon, didn't want princess Sparkle to think I was planning a coup now, did I?

"I should get going, Silverwind. Twilight might think I've gone to assassinate an ambassador or something" I chuckled, getting up

Silverwind let of a childish whine "do you have to? I was enjoying our chat" she pouted slightly

"We've been lying up here for almost two hours now. Besides, she's probably already locked the door, don't want to be out on my arse for the night now, do I?" I smirked down at her

Silverwind perked up "I guess you have a point..."

I nodded, flaring my leathery wings and getting ready to take off towards the library, Silverwind stopped me "hey, Tom?"

I looked back, arching an eyebrow "yes?"

she looked to the 'floor' below, scraping a hoof through the cloud "would you like to meet up again sometime? I had fun tonight"

I shrugged, giving her a smile "sure, you know where to find me"

She perked up, giving me a smile in return and nodding "I'll see you soon, then" I reciprocated the gesture, turning towards the library and taking off down the street. God how I loved this night vision. One short flight later, and I had arrived back at the library. I knocked on the door, waiting patiently for Twilight.

The door opened revealing Twilight herself, she looked at me confused "can I help you, sir?"

I sighed internally, she saw me change apparently. May aswell play along "It's me, Twilight. You know, shapeshifting alien human Tom?"

Her eyes 'lit up' in recognition "ohhhh, come in! You don't have to knock you know. You are kinda living here for the time being, afterall" I shrugged, walking into the library with Twilight close behind

"So, Twilight.... I thought you went to bed? I thought for sure you wouldn't answer the door and I'd have to go find a cloud somewhere" I enquired, turning to face her

Twilight shrugged, waving me off "I have some research to look over. I still haven't archived the stuff I have on your abilities"

I suddenly got very disinterested "oh right, have fun with that" I changed into my normal self "Twilight, could I use your shower, please?"

"Sure, you know where it is" Twilight gestured up the stairs, seating herself at a desk

I nodded, proceeding up the stairs and to the bathroom. Walking into the bathroom I closed the door behind me, stripping off my clothes and throwing them to the side. I pulled back the shower curtain, stepping in and playing with the knobs, getting the temperature just right. I stood under the spray of warm water, letting out a content sigh and getting to scrubbing myself of the filth that had accumulated over the past week. I had really let myself go to shit, hygiene wise. I intended to fix that!

There was a knock at the bathroom door not 5 minutes later, Twilight's voice penetrating the walls "Tom? Do you want me to get those clothes of yours washed?"

I raised a brow 'why does Twilight want to wash my clothes...?' I shouted back "why do you want to wash my clothes?"

Twilight's reply was short, and rather rude if I do say so myself "they reek" 'well, I never!'

I huffed, pulling the shower curtain closed "Fine, fine. Step into my office!" I heard the door open, followed by the clipping and the clopping of itty bitty hoofsies

Twilight's voice graced my ears once more "Where are they, I can't see anything with all this steam!"

"Under the sink, make sure to take my stuff out of my pockets, cold wash them and for the love pete if you see any little cylindrical things with a brass head, DON'T MESS WITH THEM! They're deadly if you don't know how to handle them"

I heard Twilight 'oooooooooh' in delight "I'm serious, Twilight! They're called shotgun shells. Shotgun shells explode, sending tonnes of little ball bearings flying at stupid speeds. They have NO issue penetrating skin and bone. They. Are. Lethal"

Twilight squeeked, flinching back "why would you even have something like that?!"

"Too long a story, won't bother saying. As long as you don't go poking the primer with something sharp or put them near an open flame, you'll be fine" I heard her sigh in what I assumed was relief

"Okay, I'll be careful. I'll leave you to it now bye!" Twilight stammered, rushing to get out of the bathroom as quickly as possible. Unfortunately wet floors and hooves don't mix. Twilight lost traction, spinning and sliding from the wet floor "Whooaaaa" evidently, she reached out for the closest thing to steady herself, that just so happened to be the shower curtain

The shower curtain was torn from the little plastic clips, falling into the shower and revealing a very naked human. Twilight fell half way into the shower with her forehooves dangling over the side, face perfectly level with a certain.... Accessory. What made things worse? I had a shower boner. Twilight went wide eyed, stammering and stuttering

I growled, facepalming "ceffyl gwirion" growling angrily, I pushed Twilight's face out of my crotch's proximity "just go" I gestured towards the door, exasperated

Twilight averted her eyes, her face redder than a tomato. She tried to cough out a reply, but I cut her off "not another word, just leave before things get even more awkward" her face fell, and she slowly made her way out the door picking up my clothes on the way out in her magic. Closing the door behind her

I glared at the closed door for a few moments, fuming in embarrassment. Huffing in annoyance, I turned my attention back to the shower, intent on finishing up and forgetting about this whole fiasco

After finishing in the shower, I had changed into my Thestral form. Drying myself off and trotting to the living room, I saw Twilight furiously scrawling on a parchment "Hey Twilight, what you working on now? I thought you said you were archiving?"

Twilight started, letting out a quiet screech "O-oh, T-tom! Hi there, oh you mean this? It's nothing, nothing at all!" giving me a nervous laugh, she was pushing the parchment under a blank page apparently trying to hide something from me

I raised a brow "is that what I think it is?"

Twilight blushed "n-no! Of course it isn't a diagram of the human male anatomy! Why would you even suggest such a thing?"

'I... What? I didn't even mention..... Oh you know what? I am so done...' I sighed, throwing my forehooves in the air "you know what? I'm done, good night Twilight. Don't wake me tomorrow morning, I'm starting a nocturnal sleep schedule" without another word, I jumped onto her couch and forced myself to sleep, mentally scrubbing my brain of the sheer nope

.

.

Outside on a secluded rooftop sat a dark blue figure, grinning madly to itself 'Hmm, that was easier than I thought... Cadance owes me 50 bits' the figure thought to itself, mad grin escalating to laughter. The figure then disappeared in a flash, leaving without a trace

~~# Meanwhile, in the Crystal Empire! #~~

Luna appeared in the crystal throne room, accompanied by a blinding flash. Cadance covered here eyes to protect herself against the intense light. Once the light faded, she saw her aunty Luna had returned

Princess Cadance cocked a brow "auntie, back so--" Luna however, cut her off

"AHA! The setting of the sail has been achieved!" Luna proclaimed, reverting to ye olde speak in her excitement. Throwing her hooves up "you oweth me 50 bits, dear Candenza!"

Cadance facehoofed "auntie, it's 'shipped', not 'setting of the sail'..."

"That too!" shouted the princess of the night "I bore witness with mine own two eyes. Two nocturnal beings brought together by myself shared a warm embrace under the moonlight!" Payeth up!" Luna shoved a forehoof forward, making a 'come at me bro' gesture

".....So, they hugged?" Cadance questioned

"Indeed! Is that not clear?!" Luna proclaimed

Cadance facehoofed, again "urgh, auntie.... Ponies hug all the time. It doesn't mean that they've fallen in love" she rolled her eyes

Luna's eyes went wide "I shall return!" and in a second blinding flash, she was gone once more

The game is Afoot (Edited)

Oh look, Equestria

Chapter 10 - The game is Afoot

'I thought I told her not to wake me' - It had been 3 days since the little accident with Twilight, and it took her only 3 days to go and wake me up in one of her hissy fits. I sighed internally, apparently Twilight Sparkle doesn't give a shit about anything when she's looking for a book. So here I was, brow furrowed in annoyance, eyes screwed shut to try and blot out the searing rays of the sun. I was still in my Thestral form, turns out it actually does hurt to be out in the day...

"Come on, Spike! It has to be around here somewhere" Twilight said in a very annoying, raised voice

"Urghh, Twilight! I've checked that shelf six times now. It's not there! And aren't you worried that you'll wake Tom up with all your shouting?" Spike said, exasperated

"There's no time to worry about that sort of thing! I'm already an entire day behind on my advanced illusion magic studies" 'illusion magic...? This can't be about me, I don't do illusions'

"Twilight, I'm meant to be at Rarity's in ten minutes. I can't keep a lady waiting!" Spike said, matter of factly

"Can it, Casanova" Twilight growled in return 'alright, that's it...'

I groaned, covering my eyes with a forehoof "Twilight, thank you so much for waking me up. It means a lot to me" I groggily muttered

"See, Spike? He doesn't mind" Twilight smiled 'le sigh'

Spike groaned "Sorry Tom, Twilight's on one of her crazy book rampages again" I felt a cushion next to me deform slightly "your clothes are all washed by the way, they're on your bed in the spare room. Why are you on the couch and not your bed anyway?"

"Thanks, Spike. Hey, you said you needed to see Rarity, right? I'll fly you there. And the couch? It's actually pretty comfy, and I couldn't be bothered going all the way there yesterday.. Or this morning, I guess? Meh, this day sleep thing confuses me" changing my eyes slightly to reduce the glare, I opened my eyelids and sighed in relief. The shift worked, and I could see without hindrance. I looked around the library, and the first thing that graced my vision was books. Books everywhere. They were on the floor, on the tables, on the couch I was lying on, all stacked almost to the roof. I looked back to Spike incredulously, he just shrugged helplessly

Sighing, I stood up and got off the sofa. Careful to avoid knocking any book towers down, I made my way to the spare bedroom. Spike being true to his word had lay my clothes out neatly on my bed. I smiled, trotting into the room and closing the door behind me. Changing into my now buck ass naked human self, I got to clothing my frame. Putting my stuff back in their pockets, I indeed found a couple shotgun shells lying on the bed. Looking one over, I instantly recognized the load and cringed "Oof, 3 shot magnum load... Ouch"

Morbid thoughts aside, I pocketed the rounds and looked myself over. Happy with my appearance once again, I walked back into the foyer, looking for Spike. He was gone? "Hey Spike, you here little man?"

I heard a muffled reply from under an extremely large book "under here, a little help?" I started, rushing over and grabbing the rather heavy tome off of him, checking him for any injuries

"Are you ok? How the hell did you end up under a damn book?" deeming he was fine, I gave Twilight a soft glare. She was completely oblivious... Go figure

Spike waved me off, nonplussed "I'm fine dude, dragon scales are tough. Thanks for the help, though. So when are you going to Rarity's?"

I glanced at the door, standing up and changing into my Thestral, now with sun going eyes! "well, you said you needed to be there in 10 minutes, that was a good 5 minutes ago. So why don't we go now? Jump on my back" Spike nodded thankfully, leaping onto my back with a thud. I looked over to Twilight "Twilight, I'm taking Spike to Carousel Boutique, you're on your own"

Twilight mumbled something incoherently, immersed in scanning every book in her library. I shrugged, grabbing my saddlebags and tightening them on. Walking out of the library, I once again was graced by the nauseating sight of ponies. Ponies everywhere, so many colours... I craned my neck to look at Spike, he was looking at me expectantly "so, scales... Which way?"

Spike sighed, facepalming and bringing a clawed hand up to point in the right direction. I nodded, spreading my wings and taking to the air, going slowly in lieu of my charge. I felt Spike's grip around my stomach tighten somewhat, but he seemed to be doing fine regardless. I decided to strike up conversation

"So, Spike... How long have you known Twilight?" I inquired, giving him a sidelong glance, paying more attention to where I was going to avoid collision

"I've been with Twilight for my entire life, she's like a mom to me, you know? She hatched me from an egg back at her entrance exam for Celestia's school for gifted Unicorns" Spike replied, a reminiscing glint in his eyes

I nodded "That's nice, so you were around when she was fighting all those villains and stuff I take it" I banked to the left as per Spike's instruction

"Well, technically I was... But Twilight always leaves me behind, she wants to keep me safe" Spike replied, rolling his eyes

"But you're a dragon... Albeit young, but you've got claws, hard scales and breathe fire... You eat gems for Pete's sake. Hell, you could crush a pony's skull with your teeth if you could fit it in your gob" I raised a brow

"That's what I've been trying to tell her! But no, she doesn't trust me to look out for myself. I'm just a baby dragon she says" Spike shouted, exasperated

I laughed, giving him a pitying gaze "I'm sure she'll give you some more breathing room eventually, just give it a little time"

We touched down outside of Carousel Boutique a few minutes later, Spike jumping off my back and giving me a thankful smile "thanks Tom! You're a really good flyer!"

I cocked my head "well, it's good to know I'm not cruddy. And who knows, maybe it's a Thestral thing? Maybe the wings give me better stability or something"

Spike nodded, smiling "eh, who knows. Well thanks again, I'll see ya around!" he turned, running a few feet before I stopped him

"Hey Spike, come back for a second" I shouted after him

he turned and gave me a questioning gaze before walking back over to me "what's up?"

"Do you have any money for food and drink? It's pretty warm out today" I replied, sweating slightly under the warm sun's rays. Seriously, would it kill the Pegasi to make it rain once in a while? I hated sunny days

Spike raised a brow "no, why?"

I nodded, craning my neck back and opening a saddlebag. I pulled out a small bit bag, it didn't weigh all that much. I stared at the mumbo jumbo writing for a second before tossing it to Spike "take that, it should hold you out for today" I winked at him

Spike picked the bag up, jaw going slack "holy Cow! 100 bits?! Thanks Tom, you're awesome!" he smiled widely, leaping at me and hugging my face. I chuckled, prying him off and setting him down gently

"Don't mention it, you may be impervious to heat stroke but I don't want you going hungry or thirsty on my watch" I waved him off "you should get going, Rarity's waiting"

Spike gasped, eyes going wide "Oh my Celestia, you're right! I could be late! I gotta go, see ya later!" he turned, running into the boutique and waving

I smiled, looking back up to the sky and taking off. I hovered a few feet in the air, thinking to myself 'I wonder how high I can fly? Clouds are low as fuck here...' I shrugged, shooting up into the sky. I ascended for a few minutes, all the while the ground below was getting smaller and smaller by the second. I leveled out when I started feeling light headed, descending a little bit. I stopped to a hover and my jaw dropped at the sight

I could see everything from up here. I must've been a few thousand feet up, I could see Canterlot Castle in the distance, snowy mountains on the horizon behind it. The Everfree was absolutely massive, it stretched for miles opening up at a desert further on. I found myself spinning on the spot, taking in all around me. I suddenly heard a tomboyish giggle off to my left

I looked in the direction of the sound, seeing Rainbow Dash hovering next to me "you'll catch flies like that, you know?" my jaw shut with an audible click. Shaking out of my sight seeing, I gave Rainbow an amazed look

"It's awesome, isn't it?" Rainbow said to me, giving me a sidelong glance

I nodded dumbly, looking back out to the expanse of land "this is nothing like home. It's absolutely gorgeous" I pointed to the snowy mountains in the distance "what's that, past Canterlot on the horizon?"

Rainbow followed my gaze "Oh right, that's the crystal mountains. Behind that is the Frozen North and the Crystal Empire. Twilight's sister in law rules there with her brother, Shining Armor" she looked back to me "say, what're ya doing so high up anyway? Not many ponies fly this high"

I shrugged "I was just curious to see how high I could go. I started feeling light headed so I came back down a little. What about you?"

Rainbow rubbed the back of her head "I was kinda.... Spying on you and Spike" I raised a brow, giving her an incredulous face "don't give me that look! I was just wondering where you were taking him is all. Which reminds me, you've got good form" she nodded, smiling

"Eh, Spike didn't want to be late to Rarity's so I flew him there. And you're the third person to say that to me, it means nothing to me though.." I furrowed my brow "I don't see how I can be such a good flyer, I know it's kinda hotwired into my brain, same as walking... But still, it's weird"

Rainbow nodded "yeah, I wouldn't understand it either. I saw what you did for him, by the way. That was pretty awesome"

I sighed quietly 'awesome this, awesome that... Jesus H christ...'. Shrugging, I waved her off "I wanted to make sure the little guy had some money for food and stuff. Regardless if Rarity feeds him or not"

We hovered in silence for a little bit. I noticed Rainbow Dash was fidgeting slightly, looking a little uncomfortable. She'd avert her gaze when I looked over to her questioningly. I decided to speak up "something on your mind, Ms. Dash?"

Rainbow Dash started slightly, fumbling in flight "n-no, I'm fine" I cocked a brow, but shrugged nonplussed

"Alright then, I'll leave you to it. Goodbye, Ms. Dash" I angled myself into a dive, dropping a few feet before being stopped by Rainbow

"Wait!!!" I halted, leveling out once more and looking back to her "there is.. Something I've been meaning to ask you"

"Then get on with it, I'm all ears" I flapped my comically large ears a few times to get the point across

She flinched slightly at my crass manner, steeling herself "do you... Dislike me? N-not that I care or anything, because I don't"

I sighed, facehoofing "dislike is the wrong word. Do I like you? Not particularly"

Rainbow cut me off "Oh..."

I raised a placating hoof "I'm not finished.. I don't know you well enough to like you yet. I don't know how you ponies socialize, but as I told Luna. Most of us humans are kinda reserved, me in particular, are neutral if not borderline hostile to a new person until we get to know them better. That being said, do I dislike you? No. Do I find your mannerisms slightly annoying? Yes" I shook my head "there are few people I actively hate or dislike, Ms. Rainbow Dash. They are: males who hit females, child abusers, animal abusers, extremists, drug abusers and Celestia. Does that answer your question?"

Rainbow sighed, slumping "Y-yeah, I'll see you around" and with that, she darted off into the distance, leaving a funky little rainbow contrail behind. I shrugged, not really caring 'probably damaged her enormous ego'. Carrying on with my earlier descent, I started my return to the world below, idly barrel rolling and banking to test my flexibility in flight whilst humming a little ditty in my head

On a whim, I decided to go to Sugarcube corner for a quick coffee before going for a little exploration. Flying through the streets of Ponyville, I searched for the tell tale gingerbread house. I saw it off to my left and banked hard, going into a dive. Gliding to the floor I entered the shop. Idle chit chat was going on inside between patrons, eating assorted treats and sipping on smoothies. I walked up to the counter, where a lanky yellow stallion with an orange mane and apron greeted me "why hello sir, welcome to Sugarcube Corner. I must say, it's not often we get a member of the lunar guard this way"

'Lunar guard...? Are Thestrals really that uncommon?' I raised a brow, scowling slightly at the stallion. This made him almost cower somewhat, his face contorting into slight uneasiness. I decided to just go with it and see what these citizens really thought of their slitted eyed cousins "is that so?"

Mr. Cake stuttered almost inconceivably "Y-yes sir, so... What can I get for you?" he put on a strained smile

I brought a forehoof up, scratching my chin in thought "I'll have a coffee, please"

"Of course! That'll be two bits, please" I reached for my saddlebag, unclipping the lid and fetching out a bag. With some effort I managed to get 2 bits out, depositing them on the counter and putting the burlap bag back, securing the saddlebag once more. Mr. Cake nodded in thanks "thank you sir, if you wait at booth two, I'll see to it that you get your coffee post haste"

I turned, heading for my booth and taking a seat. Looking around, I saw 3 small children eyeing me intently from the booth behind me. One was a small white unicorn with green eyes and a poofy two tone mane. The second was a little yellow earth pony, she had a red mane and a pink bow. The third was an orange pegasus with a purple mane, styled a little like Rainbow Dash. I cocked my head at them, raising a brow "Can I help you girls? It's rude to stare"

The three fillies suddenly huddled, whispering conspiratorially and throwing me sidelong glances from time to time. Eventually they nodded in unison, disappearing under their table. I was confused at first, turning my head back forward I jumped in surprise "mother of ffffff!!!!", I glared at the 3 fillies who had just materialized at my table, repeating my last statement "can I help you three?"

The white one smiled cutely at me "Hi! I'm Sweetie Belle!"

The yellow one followed "And I'm Applebloom!" 'hick accent, apple name... Apple family related' I thought, instantly making a connection

finally was the orange filly "and I'm Scootaloo!"

Suddenly, they all took a deep breath, shouting in unison "AND WE'RE THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!"

My brain screamed, my ears flattened and I recoiled in pain, grimacing hard and eyes watering "HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.... Wow.. That was unpleasant"

The three looked to me in concern, Sweetie Belle spoke up "are you ok, sir?"

I shook my head, pointing at my flattened ears. Comprehension adorned her face, and she blushed in embarassment "o-oh, I'm so sorry! I totally forgot that bat ponies had sensitive ears!" her hooves flew to her mouth, wide eyed "I-I'm sorry, I meant Thestral"

I cocked an eyebrow at Sweetie Belle 'is bat pony an insult for a Thestral?' "It's fine, little one. Don't worry about it. Now, I'll ask again... Can I help you, 'cutie mark crusaders'?" a mug was plonked down in front of me, I looked up and saw Pinkie Pie. "Hello, Pinkie Pie! Thank you for bringing me my coffee"

"Don't mention it Sharpshooter, you four have fun now!" Pinkie winked suspiciously at me, bouncing away and giggling. I looked back to the 3 girls seated at my table

Applebloom spoke for the group, very business like "I think the real question 'ere is can we help y'all?" she leaned in, crossing her forehooves "ya see, we're on a quest to find our cutie marks, and I couldn't help but notice that yer a blank flank too, so whadda ya say? Wanna join us?" she finished with a hopeful smile

I smirked, picking up my coffee and taking a long satisfying sip, resting it back in the table. I leaned in, crossing my own forehooves "and this... Quest, what exactly would it entail?" I looked around and saw parents trying to stifle their laughter at my playing along

Scootaloo was next "We do all kinds of cool stuff every day to try and find our purpose in life!" 'wow, that's just bleak...'

I hmmmm'd in contemplation, scratching my chin "I'm sorry to say, children... But, I'm a Thestral"

They all cocked their heads to the side, one ear flopping "why does that matter?" said Sweetie

"Thestrals don't get cutie marks" upon hearing this, they gasped, looking to each other in disbelief. I laughed, downing the rest of my drink and standing up "I'm terribly sorry girls. But I've got to skidaddle, thanks for the offer!" on my way out I discreetly lay five bits each down in front of the three of them without them seeing, cackling internally. Making my way out the door, I heard them all squeel in delight just as I had finished closing it behind me

The rest of the morning went by uneventfully. I spent it exploring Ponyville, drinking in every inch of the small town and getting a good idea of the layout. Throughout the day I caught glimpses of the same three fillies at Sugarcube Corner. They were following me apparently, and it had turned into somewhat of an unspoken game between us. Eventually 3 fillies had turned into an entire stampede of children all trying to get in on the fun. I would fly off somewhere and count how long it took them to hunt me down. Their record was set at 15 seconds, it was pretty impressive. Then, something unexpected happened

There were kids surrounding me on all sides, blocking me off from any exit. Except for one, the sky. I grinned evilly, flaring my wings and taking off a few feet. The kids all gasped "quick, pegasi! Take him down!!" one shouted, instantly at least 10 pegasus kids plowed into me, knocking me to the floor giggling madly. The other kids soon followed, creating one huge laughing dog pile

Suddenly, a rather authoritative voice cut through the laughter "Sir Sharpshooter, we have come on behalf of princesses Celestia and Luna to deliver you a message" the laughter stopped, and all the kids climbed off of me, allowing me to stand up. I looked to the 2 armored stallions in front of me. One was a unicorn, the other a pegasus. They were both celestial guards, adorned in shiny gold armor

I cocked a brow, taking a step forward "and what, pray tell would that message be?"

The guards looked around at all the children, listening intently. They looked back to me, the unicorn speaking up "sir, we should speak in private. This is a delicate matter" both eyebrows shot up, I nodded

"Very well, lead the way" I gestured for them to get moving, falling in to their side

~#~#~#~#~#~

One uneventful walk later, and the three of us were in a secluded area. The unicorn spoke "Sir Sharpshooter. First, let me introduce myself and my colleague, I am sergeant Aegis. And this is private Windrunner. We are here by request of both princess Celestia and Luna regarding an urgent matter that needs attention"

"Okay, then get on with it, sergeant. I'm a busy stallion" I was getting frustrated fast. These two idiots had just interrupted me

Aegis nodded "of course. But first, allow me to grant you this. Courtesy of her majesty, you can probably guess which one" his horn lit up, and I suddenly felt an unfamiliar weight across my back, aswell as a cold, metallic feel over my hooves. Looking down at myself, I seemed to have been gifted a set of lunar guard armor, slightly modified with Kevlar underlining

My eyes widened, checking myself out for a moment. I looked back to the two guards, a stupid grin on my face "princess Luna, eh? Send her my thanks. Though as to why she gave me a set, I have no idea... Not that I'm complaining" I kinda felt like Luna was buttering me up, trying to sway me. I mean, come on... A nobody like me getting gifts from royalty? Something's not right there

Aegis snorted "indeed, it had been fitted with your invention of Kevlar, you are the first to get a set of armor like that, amongst our captains. Your front hoof guards are also magically imbued to retract two razor sharp mithril claws, all you have to do is clap your forehooves together, and they'll appear. To remove them, simply clap again. Now, for the second order of business"

I straightened up slightly, giving him my full attention. Apparently this was important, may as well be professional about it. Aegis spoke once again "Princess Celestia has requested your assistance in a small matter regarding the Everfree. It seems a small group of Diamond Dogs has encroached upon the border, and she wants you to personally deal with them. It was her understanding that you are a hunter and are experienced in security matters"

I sighed 'how the fucking hell did she know that I'm a hunter? I only told Applejack about that.... Oh wait, the guards... Fuckin' duh' "and I told her in the past that my security experience goes no further than kicking out drunks. Why me?" I inquired, one eyebrow raised

The guard fidgeted uneasily "she... Told me that because you are not 'technically' an Equestrian citizen as of yet, you will be under no requirement to... Go easy on them, so to speak"

"She wants me to kill them" I answered, instantly

Both guards cringed, Aegis spoke up "only if deemed absolutely necessary, sir. She wishes for you to employ scare tactics on them more than anything"

The private spoke up next "as well as that, sir. Princess Luna wishes for you to do this to test your skills, to see if you are indeed capable of joining her ranks"

I nodded, a tiny bit disappointed "pray tell, sergeant. How many dogs are there? What are their armaments, their defences if any?"

The sergeant engaged his intel mode "They travel in a trio, no more. No less, armaments are none existent. Defences are lacking, if you could call leather vests 'defense'" he rolled his eyes

"Okay, and why does she want them gone? Have they done something wrong?" I cocked an eyebrow

Aegis snorted, giving me a disbelieving stare "what more is there to know? They're Diamond Dogs. But no, the princess merely asked for me to bring this to your attention"

I decided to humor him. Giving him a creepy smile, leaning in "tell your princess that she'll find nothing but a trail of dog shit before next dawn" 'I know what you're up to, Celestia. You want to see just how capable I am.... Worried I'll cause problems for you and using a non pony as the collateral? Nice' I thought to myself, laughing internally

Aegis nodded resolutely "very well, we shall return tomorrow night for a full debrief" I nodded in return. Aegis' horn flared, and both guards were gone in a blinding flash

After the annoying blue dot has vanished from my vision, I looked myself over once again. Good lord I looked absolutely badass. I sat down, bring my forehooves together with a metallic *clang*, almost instantly a pair of claws extended on each hoof. I brough them up to my face, grinning and giggling like a madman

After I composed myself, I disengaged the claws, standing myself up and taking flight once more in the direction of Twilight's library. Intent of showing off my new sexy armor

Arriving at Twilight's library, I opened the door just an inch so it was free of the latch. I then spun around and bucked the door open, strutting in like I owned the place

Twilight screeched, whirling around to face the intruder, pony bust floating in front of her as a makeshift shield. When she caught sight of me she sighed in relief, dropping the pony bust and glaring at me "Tom! What in the hoof was that for?! You scared me half to death!"

I struck a manly pose, looking to her and shouting in a gruff voice "''CUZ EVERY GIRL CRAZY 'BOUT A SHARP DRESSED MAN!" I then proceeded to 'doo doo doo' the famous ZZ Top number, air guitaring like a boss. I stopped eventually, grinning to Twilight "do I look good, or do I look good?"

Twilight rolled her eyes "Stallions... Where did you get that armor?"

"Princess Luna sent it to me, apparently she has a little job for me. It's 'gun be gooooood" I replied

Twilight raised a brow "what kind of job?"

I waved her off "not important, now Twilight.... Tell me what you know of the Diamond Dogs"

"What do you want to know?" Twilight enquired

My expression darkened and I narrowed my eyes, sending a shiver through Twilight "everything"

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Hitting the Fan

**Oh look, Equestria

Chapter 11 - Hitting the Fan***Mild gore warning*

'It was a bad idea asking Twilight to tell me everything. As soon as I uttered that one word she launched into what she dubbed her 'lecture mode', conjuring up a black board full of diagrams and the like. I had since turned back into my human self, stewing over the information given

"And that pretty much covers it. Now are you going to tell me why you feel you needed an entire history on Diamond Dogs?" Twilight inquired, giving me an incredulous look

I was currently sitting on the sofa in the foyer, resting my chin on a hand and tapping a foot in slight aggravation "there's some Dogs on the border of the Everfree. The princesses want me to go deal with them. I need to know what they're doing there, I can't just go in and tell them to piss off unless they're doing something wrong"

Twilight started slightly "t-they're that close?! Why haven't I been informed of this?" she started hyperventilating

Rolling my eyes, I gave here a deadpan look "probably because you'd freak out, like you are. It's my problem now, not yours"

Twilight sighed, nodding "I'm sorry, but ever since that incident with Rarity, we've not exactly been too friendly towards the dogs. What if they're staking out Ponyville for more slaves? What if a child gets too close to the Everfree and gets snatched up by them?"

"That's what I intend to find out, and if necessary, prevent" I sighed, bringing a hand up and running it through my short hair, a helpless expression on my face "I honestly don't know how to tackle this. I feel there's a lot more going on here. Something tells me your princesses, Celestia in particular is going to be watching me intently. I need to do some reconnaissance, get the bigger picture"

I stood and started pacing "so Diamond Dogs are known as scavengers. They're world class diggers, they love gems. They can even smell out gems, that implies they have one hell of a nose, they tend to stay in seclusion with their own in their colonies. But you said it's not uncommon for them to take slaves?"

Twilight nodded "yes, unfortunately. Rarity can attest to that"

"Then I'll need to establish if they have slaves either with them, or back at the warren"

I paced a little more, face contorting into slight anger "Arghhhh, fuck! Thanks for the info, Twilight. But I need to check these guys out for myself. There's two sides to every story, after all" I turned, taking my Thestral form and adorning my new armor, walking towards the door I was stopped by Twilight

"Tom, you're not going to..... You know?" she looked uncomfortable, twirling a foreleg in front of here

I raised a brow "I'm not going to what?"

She gulped, looking to the floor "k-kill them"

I paused, raising an eyebrow at Twilight "now what makes you think I'd do that?"

She sighed explosively "oh come on, Tom. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what you really are. The camouflage, the knife, the 'shotgun' thingies, the cutie mark you chose! Your jacket even reads 'Deerhunter', I cast a deciphering spell on the label to make sure I didn't wash it wrong" she shouted

That worried me slightly, but she didn't actually seem that bothered. Rolling my eyes, I replied "good going, Sherlock. Give yourself a fuckin' shiny"

Twilight narrowed her eyes "don't... Patronize me, answer the question"

I sighed "alright, I'm sorry. I was a little harsh there. To answer your question, I honestly don't know, I'll definitely defend myself if needed"

Twilight gave me a troubled look "just please... Don't do anything rash. Be careful out there"

I snorted, rolling my eyes "I can take care of myself, thank you"

"I don't doubt it, but a Hydra or Ursa won't be so caring" Twilight said factually

'Wait... What?' "there are Hydras here...?" I asked, incredulously

Twilight nodded "yeah, me and the girls were chased by one once, thankfully we got away unhurt"

I did a 'nice' face, nodding my head slowly "nice...."

Twilight looked to me like I had gone mad "what do you mean 'nice'?! They're huge!"

"I stand by my statement, Twilight Sparkle"

Twilight rolled her eyes "humans are weird..."

"Ponies are stupid colours" I retorted childishly

Without further adieu, I walked out of the library into the night lit streets of Ponyville. I looked in the direction of the Evefree, taking off and ascending a few hundred feet to get an aerial view of the forest. Roughly 800 yards in was a small light, a campfire. I nodded to myself, check the wind direction. I altered my course, making sure my scent would be carried away from them as I made my approach

I was just over flying over a cottage on the border of the Everfree when I heard a familiar soft voice "hey there, rock star. I'm liking the armor" I smiled 'Silverwind'

Stopping in flight, I turned to her "hey Silverwind, how're you doing?"

She sighed "A little tired, but I'm good none the less. Just doing a quick patrol is all, then I've gotta shoot to Manehattan to deliver some orders. What're you up to?" she smiled, cocking her head to one side

"The princesses want me to check out some Diamond Dogs close by, she wants me to send 'em packing"

Silverwind snorted, her nose scrunching up "ew, Diamond Dogs... Smelly" she giggled "better you than me"

I chuckled lightly "so where have you been these past few days? I haven't seen hide or hair of you"

Silverwind grinned "why? You miss me?" I snorted, that made her pout "fine, be that way. For your information, I was scouting out some bandits in the Badlands. Exciting, I know"

"Bandits?" I cocked a brow

Silverwind nodded, brows furrowing "yeah, they've been raiding trade caravans from Griffonia. I was sent to get a better idea of their capabilities"

I then struck a pose, brandishing an invisible rapier and stabbing a few times in the air "stand and deliver, your money or your life"

Silverwind giggled, rolling her eyes "that's highwaymen, genius"

"Oh...." I looked down, feigning embarrassment

Silverwind's giggling evolved into full laughter, after she finished she looked back to me "hey, I was thinking... I'm going to have some time off this week, and I was wondering if you'd like to come with me to Rainbow Falls? It's a gorgeous place, great for relaxing" she finished with a slightly hopeful smile

"I'd love to, when is it?" I cocked my head

"That's great! It's on the 18th, 3 days from now. It's in the day time by the way, just so you know" she nodded in affirmative

I nodded, smiling "alright, I'll see you then"

"I'll see you then! Meet me outside Ponyville Hall at 11. I've gotta get back to my patrol, have fun" she waved, turning and shooting off silently into the night

I was flying over the Everfree at a slow pace, surveying the ground through gaps in the tree canopy. I saw the weirdest things, there were wolves that (I shit you not) were made of wood. Half chicken / lizard things and even a Manticore or two were plodding about and napping. I was looking for something specific, a large enough puddle of mud that I could roll around in. Why, you ask? To further mask my scent. Give myself the smell of the forest and it's tougher for the dogs to smell me. I decided to 'play' some fitting music in my head

I scanned the forest floor for a while, finally setting my eyes on a suitable mud pit. I changed my flight trajectory gliding down into the thicket and landing silently. I walked to the mud pit in front of me, plodding in and getting on my stomach. Here came the mucky bit. I performed what could only be described as a Crocodile's death roll, covering myself from head to toe in the acrid, foul smelling muck

Pulling myself up once more, now thoroughly lathered in stank, I spread my wings and flapped them a couple times, shaking off the sticky mud so I could fly unhindered. I took off again, hovering up through a break in the canopy and carrying on with my earlier flight path. I tested the wind again and readjusted accordingly, gaining on my target

~#~#~#~#~#~

I landed silently on a branch overlooking the camp, a small bonfire was the centerpiece, burning wood and crackling happily. Surrounding the bonfire were some overturned logs, used for what I could assume were benches. There were a few satchels lying around with various bits and bobs. There were fishing nets, gems of various sizes, assorted fruits and even some spare vests hanging on a line tied to the tree I was currently occupying. Everything you'd expect from a simple forest expedition. The dogs however, were nowhere to be seen. Obviously they were just out momentarily, unless they were really that stupid to leave a bonfire unattended

To the left of the bonfire there were three thick blankets laid out next to each other underneath a simple tarp made of umbrella plant leaves. 'That's obviously where they're sleeping' I thought to myself. I heard a rustling coming from the forest floor to my right and my head whirled around to look in the distance, and I spotted the dogs in question. They were hauling something behind them, chatting idly in broken English. As they got closer I saw what they were hauling, my mouth instantly started salivating at the sight. It was a deer, a big one. My stomach growled, apparently missing the succulent meat I've been so harshly deprived of since I came to Equestria

The dogs entered the camp, the one carrying the deer dropped his load, pulling out a skinning knife and getting to work on their dinner. The other two dogs sat down on a log in front of the fire, holding their paws close to the flame. The first dog was a lanky, skinny one. He almost looked emaciated. His fur was a golden brown colour, he had large eyes, a black pupil and green sclera. It was really funky, actually.

The second and third dog who was busy skinning both had dark grey fur with yellow eyes. The one skinning was large, built strong. The second dog was a little shorter but a little wider in body than the first. They began to converse

"Good job, Fido. You get that deer good!" Said the first to the skinner, or 'Fido'. Fido looked over to the first, grunting and getting back to the job at hand

The second spoke next "Yes, good job. But Butch do good too, Butch value to pack" he nodded to the first, now dubbed 'Butch'

Butch brought a paw up, inspecting his stubby claws "I no bragger, but yeah.... Butch awesome" he then sniffed their air, looking back to the unnamed dog "hey, Fang... You smell Ursa poop?" 'wait.... Ursa poop? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!!?!' I looked down at myself, disgusted that I had inadvertently rolled around in bear shit. I just did the only thing I could do, suck it up and get on with it, shrugging it off as not important and returning my attention below

'Fang' sniffed, nodding to Butch "Yes.... Fang smell, Ursa leave nasty surprise close by..." he blanched, holding his nose and trying to wave the smell away. He then grumbled "smelly Ursa"

Butch laughed obnoxiously "Me remember one time, Fang was digging new cave for Alpha.... Fang then dug into existing cave ceiling, falling into Manticore dung" Fido joined in laughter

Fang crossed his arms, huffing "That not funny! I got poop in my eyes!" I chuckled inwardly at their antics, they didn't seem so bad... Maybe there's more to this than the princesses think?

Fido grunted suddenly, getting the attention of the other dogs. They craned their heads back to look at Fido who was now brandishing a fully skinned deer, three large chunks of meat had been cut off and skewered onto large sticks. He handed the meat sticks over to the others, them nodding in thanks. Fido then got up, walking to the bench and taking a seat. They all rested the sticks of meat over the fire, waiting patiently for them to cook

Fang turned to Butch, a pained expression on his face "Butch, what if Alpha find out about us going to the ponies?"

...'Wait, what? This just got interesting...'

Butch snorted "Alpha is stupid. Alpha just want slaves, pack sick of him. He get us in trouble with ponies, ponies attack us"

"But what if ponies here attack?"

"We hope they listen, Fang. It all dogs can do" Fang and Butch adopted resigned expressions, sighing. Fido grunted and howled quietly a few times, apparently lightening the mood

Fang perked up "yes, Fido right. Ponies have to help, Ponyville friendly!" he smiled

'They're having trouble with their alpha, and they're coming to the ponies for help huh? Sounds like they're sick of the regime.... I be smellin' a mutiny, boys!' I thought to myself, listening intently

Butch spoke up "yes, we stick to plan. We make ponies help us. Nice princess send guards to help take down Alpha. She get slaves back, we get to live like we want. We no need slaves, we Diamond Dogs. We best diggers!"

The dogs all howled in agreement, cheering

The Diamond Dogs had been chatting for a about half an hour about their plan and how they'd persuade the ponies to help them. They talked of their friends, their pups and elders. Their warrens were struck with sickness, the ponies were coming down with it the hardest. They just weren't cut out for underground life. Apparently the dogs had tried to persuade their alpha to let the ponies go on several occasions, but the Alpha would respond by lashing out and punishing anyone who thought differently. He ruled through fear, cuilling the young and elderly, taking any female he wanted regardless if they were mated already or not. 'So he's a mass murderer, a rapist and a dictator? Good lord...' they couldn't do anything about it. I honestly felt for them, they were just outsiders trying to find their place. Just like the Thestrals, just like me. I couldn't believe I was really thinking of hunting these guys down at first, it made me sick. I had to do something, now that I knew what was going on I couldn't just do nothing

I decided to show myself and confront them. If I could just talk to them, appeal to them somehow, I could get the slaves freed and convince Celestia to supply medical treatment to the injured and sick dogs in return. I flared my wings, jumping from my branch and gliding down behind them. I got their attention with a gruff *ahem*. instantly they craned their heads back to look at me, and their eyes widened

Butch spoke up first "is that a poop pony?"

Fang gasped "POOP MONSTER!!! FIDO, GET IT!!!"

Fido growled, stalking towards me and going into a fighting position. I sighed, facehoofing. I held up a brown foreleg, placating them "please, I'm not a 'poop monster'"

Butch cocked his head, calling off Fido momentarily "then what is you?"

"I'm a Thestral. I want to talk to you" apparently, that was the wrong thing to say

They all gasped, Fang shouting "NIGHT DWELLER! GET HIM!"

Fido leaped at me, causing me to flare my wings and dash to the side, narrowly avoiding a swipe of his claws. "Wait! I just want to talk to you! I'm not here to hurt you!" I shouted, dodging a low swipe by the burly dog

"You lie! Night dweller come for dogs! Night dweller send dogs away, we not go!" Butch shouted, cowering in a corner

"Please, just call off your muscle before I'm forced to put him down. I just want to talk. I can help you!" I countered a punch from Fido, whirling around and planting a firm kick in his chest. Fido staggered back a few steps before coming right back at me

"Why would night dweller help dogs?!" Fang shouted

"Because I'm just like you. An outsider" I grunted in surprise when a solid punch connected with my side, staggering me

Butch and Fang exchanged glances, shrugging they called off their attack dog "Fido, let him speak" the huge dog relented, grunting in agreement and walking back to his bench. Sitting down and grabbing his food, eating away happily

"Come, join us at fire night dweller" I nodded, walking up to the bench and plonking my ass down

Butch spoke up first "how long you listen?"

"I heard all of it" I replied, scowling slightly

Butch nodded "then you know we not here for fight. We here for help. We sorry for Fido. It just night dwellers are sent for dogs all the time. It not night dweller's fault, it night princess. Just like alpha's fault for slaves. It just the way it is"

I sighed "I understand completely. Now, I'm going to tell you here and now. Your plan won't work"

Butch looked to me incredulously "explain"

"A pony by the name of Rarity lives in this town. She was captured by Diamond Dogs and used as a slave. She was shortly rescued, but word has gone around about the dogs. You will not find friends there" I gave him a sad smile

He sighed, dejected "O-oh, I see..... Different pack ruin our plan...."

Fang looked to me, a pleading look in his eyes "please, night dweller. You say you help dogs, then help. Pups get sick, ponies get sick" Fido whined in agreement

I couldn't just sit by and let this go on. They needed help "I'll do all I can for you. But first you have to promise me something"

The three nodded violently, Butch speaking "anything!"

I clacked my hooves together, claws appearing. I leaped at Butch, pinning him to the floor and holding a claw dangerously close to his throat "the slaves go free, and you NEVER even think about taking more" I narrowed my eyes, baring my fangs

Butch swallowed thickly, nodding vigorously "o-of course night dweller! We never wanted slaves to begin with!!"

I scrutinized his sincerity for a few seconds, nodding in approval and allowing him to stand once more, returning to my seat "good, be sure that you follow through with it. Now, I need more information on your alpha. The warren's layout etc. If I can persuade the princess to take action, her guards will need all the information they can get" I stated resolutely

The dogs all nodded in unison, giving me details on everything

10 minutes later and I had all I needed. The dogs even drew up floor plans of their den, I was surprised at the quality. The den was rather small according to them, they were a small pack compared of others. I stood up, ready to take off and get to Twilight's library, I was going to send a letter to Celestia immediately. I was stopped, however by one of the dogs grabbing me and... Hugging?

I grunted in strain from the rough hug. Butch spoke "Fido, put night dweller down!" Fido whined, dropping me to the floor with an unceremonious thud. I stood once more, dusting my shitty self off and turning to look at the dogs. They all had huge thankful and relieved smiles on their faces, it was kinda contagious

Butch spoke once more "thank you, night dweller. For listening, and for helping dogs"

Fang spoke next "yes, when we kick out alpha, you free to come visit den"

I went to speak, and that's when everything went to shit. I heard a rustling coming from the trees and bushes in front of us. Instantly I was ready, lowering my stance 'what the fuck could that be?'

There was a deep, gruff voice "You damned mutts. I finally find you, and what do I see? You're conversing with the enemy. A night dweller, no less"

Looking back to the 3 dogs, I see them pale. Butch cowers in fear "O-oh no, is Alpha!! He f-find us!"

Fang jumped beneath the log, paws over his head "h-he will punish us.. He k-kill us"

The ground shook, my ears were flooded by the sounds of paws. Lots of them. Something told me I was in it deep now. My eyes frantically scanned the clearing, searching.. Waiting. Then, that's when I saw them. There were 10 armored dogs in total, all adorning steel helmets and large breastplates. They were all growling and baring their teeth at us, more specifically: me. 'Well, fuck..... Seems I won't be needing those plans after all' I thought, mentally kicking myself

They stepped into our clearing, creating a C formation, the alpha was front and center. This guy was big, very big. His arms were as thick as my head, he stood about 7 feet tall and had a metal chest piece like the other smaller dogs, yet he was bereft of a helmet. His fur was as black as night, and he had vibrant orange eyes, just like mine. He glared directly at me for a few seconds, turning his attention to the 3 run aways "Fang, Butch, Fido. Stop cowering and tell me what you're doing here before I give you something to cower about" he snarled at them

They shakily made their way to him, stopping behind me. Butch spoke up "w-we are sorry, Alpha.... Please! Don't hurt us"

The alpha glared at them "you spineless vermin. Tell me at once"

I looked back to Fang "he won't do anything to you" fire in my eyes. He looked to me, giving me and unsure glance before nodding

Fang looked back to his alpha "we have come to find help from ponies. We stop alpha, we free slaves, we help sick"

The alpha laughed in his face "the ponies? They'll do no such thing. Even now they conspire against you." he pointed to me "they send their silver tongued assassins to spout honeyed words to gain your trust. They'll only back stab you in the end"

I snorted "you call yourself an alpha? You're pathetic. The fuck are you even doing here?! You're a poor leader to leave your den unattended"

He glared at me "you dare speak ill of me, night dweller? I'll mount your head on my wall"

Rolling my eyes, I took a step forward "no, you won't. You're unfit to to lead your pack. An alpha is meant to care for their young, elderly and sick as equal. You seek naught but personal gain" I looked to the three behind me "this is your Alpha? He is pitiful. He lies to you, I meant what I said"

The alpha got my attention once again "you know nothing, I snuff out the weak, build up the strong. In return, I take my pick of the females. It's a small price for my hard work"

"So that's it? How many families have you destroyed on your quest for power? Because that's all it is. You don't do it for your pack, you do it to protect your own ass! Hiding behind your warriors so you can stay safe. Your dogs don't want you anymore, they're being oppressed! They're basically slaves to their king" I spat. Looking back to the three behind me, I saw a conviction in their eyes. 'Good, if they all decide to jump me, I'm so dead' I thought grimly

"A necessary sacrifice to be the best" the Alpha stood tall, grinning

This guy was sick..... Every word from his mouth grated at my nerves, threatening to throw me over the edge. Gritting my teeth, I glared death at him "so you openly admit it" I looked to the dogs behind the alpha "you see, dogs? Your alpha's true colours have shown. Ask yourselves this, what if that was your pup he so callously left to die? What if that was your mate he shamelessly raped? He doesn't care for you! I offer you the chance to put it to an end. These three brave dogs have made a stand. Will you do the same?"

There was a murmur throughout the opposing dogs, all looking between themselves. Unsure of who to believe. I decided to press the advantage "you don't have to live in fear anymore! I will kill him myself here and now if I have to!" 'I have to get him alone, no interference from the others' I thought to myself, eyes scanning the opposing force

The murmurs grew in volume, some dogs even started to glare at their alpha. It seemed I had them. The alpha, not to be outdone tried to re establish dominance "ENOUGH! This creature spouts nonsense! The way we live now works fine. Why change? I swear, if any of you even so much as dare to take a step away from me, I shall slaughter you"

Butch spoke next "Night dweller speaks true, brothers! Butch know this, he just like us. He outcast"

One dog stepped forward, joining us. Butch smiled, patting his brother on the shoulder reassuringly. I grinned faintly, looking back to the crowd "you see, Diamond Dogs? Your brother here is ready to break from the shackles of oppression! For his family and friends. I beseech you, join him step forward!" 'I'm spouting so much crap right now, it's not even funny'

Another dog stepped forward, joining our ranks. We were up to 6. 6 against 8. No more dogs stepped up, the alpha howled in victory "you see, night dweller? My ways work. These dogs are loyal to me without question! Who cares how I go about getting it?! Now, you are so sure of yourself? Then let us duel to the death, just me and you. Let us see who is the stronger warrior"

I sighed, a slight smirk upon my muzzle 'good, he fell for my taunt... That's a relief' "you've made a grave mistake. I'm going to enjoy flaying your hide, dog.." I turned back to the dogs on my side, whispering "you deal with the grunts in case they try to intervene, I can't fight two at once, I'm not Bruce Lee" they nodded, taking up a defensive stance

"Step forward, night dweller. Come and meet your doom" we both stepped forward, circling each other

--#--

High above the Everfree sat a large, singular cloud. On this cloud were two royal sisters, watching the events unfold

Luna scowled to Celestia "we must help him, sister. This was not part of the plan!"

Celestia adorned a concerned face, looking down upon the stage of battle " Why is the alpha here? What madness drove him to leave his den?! Tom knows what he's doing. He knows that he has no choice but to fight"

"Are you telling me that Tom purposely taunted him?!?" Luna hissed

Celestia nodded "indeed, my guess is that he wanted the alpha to offer a one to one battle. T'was a wise decision"

"We cannot just sit idly by and do nothing" Luna growled

Celestia slowly shook her head "no, Luna. If we interfere now then the other dogs could attack. It would do more harm than good. We must leave him to fight and be here for when he needs us. The fight has commenced"

--#--

We  both waited for the other to strike first, I wasn't that stupid. Speed and agility was in my favor, whereas brute strength was his domain. I need to strike fast and get out faster. His chest was protected, so a quick kill was a no go unless I could get a lucky hit on his jugular. My wings were also a huge advantage in this fight, but they could also be my demise if I were not careful.

We sized each other up for a few seconds, then the Alpha made his move. He pounced at me, spreading his arms wide to prevent side stepping. I had one option, go under him

I flared my wings, pushing them forward with a powerful gust, rolling onto my back and sliding underneath him. I delivered a powerful buck to his midsection, denting the steel armor severely and sending him sprawling. Landing in a heap a few feet away, he snarled and got to his feet, eyes boring into me "lucky shot, night dweller. You will not get another" he then raised his arms, showing off his claws. They were at least 4 inches in length, each having a point finer than the sharpest sword. Those things could cut through rock, this guy wasn't going to hold back

I shuddered, steeling myself and bringing my forehooves up, clacking them together to extend my mithril claws. It was time to put them to the test. I extended my wings, flying at him, inches from the ground. He tried to preempt me by sidestepping. I changed my course at the last second, looping around and striking at his arm, leaving a long gash across his bicep. The claws rent his flesh like it were mere paper, letting a shower of crimson life fluid pour from his wound. I then whirled around behind him, bucking his hind legs and sending him to his knees. I grabbed the Alpha in a choke hold, a clawed hoof pressing into his neck painfully. I snarled at him "you lose"

The alpha chuckled darkly, reaching behind with his good arm and digging his claws into my armored back, penetrating the armor like it was tin. His claws embedded deep into my flesh causing my to cry out in pain and soften my grip. He then pulled me off, tossing me into a nearby tree. I hit the tree back first, denting my armor and making it cut deeper into my back. The wind was beaten out of my lungs, I let out a gasp of pain

Fang ran to my aid "night dweller!"

I waved him off, speaking in a choked, raspy voice "I'm fine, you concentrate on keeping the others back!"

"But-"

"I SAID I'M FINE DAMN IT!" I snarled at Fang. He backed up, returning to keep any outside influences at bay. I wrenched myself up, my back protesting in pain from the impact and armor digging painfully into my skin. I shook this all off however, I would not be beaten by some mere dog. 'Fuck, I should have just stuck him...' Getting my footing back, I assessed the alpha once more, blood seeping from my back wounds. I bared my fangs, snarling at the alpha

In a blind rage I darted towards the alpha. Not noticing the smirk on his face. Quicker than I could blink, he threw a balled fist upwards, connecting with my chest with a sickening crack. I was sent sprawling once again, landing on my face. A searing pain spiked through my upper body upon contact with the solid ground, I tried to cry out in pain but succeeded only in descending into a coughing fit. Every heave sending a lance of pain through me. I spluttered up large globs of blood, glaring at the ground and grimacing at the taste of metal. My entire body screamed in protest from the internal bleeding

My ears rotated to face the alpha when I heard quiet footsteps making their way over to me, an arrogant laugh met my ears "you really thought you stood a chance against me? I was made alpha for a reason. Just give up, little one. Your time is up"

I turned to look at him, rage in my eyes "you think I'm ready to quit so soon? I'LL PAINT MY FACE WITH YOUR BLOOD!" in a surge of pure adrenaline I whirled around, the pain momentarily forgotten. Getting my footing back, I snarled at the alpha who was still stalking towards me, not even 4 ft separating us

He laughed "you still have some fight left in you, I like that"

I had to finish this, here and now. 'I'll be lucky if I haven't punctured a lung, I need to finish this before he gets another hit in. I'm dead otherwise'. Steeling myself with all the resolve I could muster, waiting for an opening. I widened my stance making him mime the gesture, that's when I struck. I flew at him once more, just grazing his cheek with my claws. I did a quick U turn, hitting the deck at the last minute and avoiding a swipe at my neck within a hair's length. Sliding under his legs on my back, the now pot holed armor proving to be a bitch to me once again. I extended my forelegs, cutting the Alpha as deep as possible across both his thighs, bringing the claws down in a diagonal slash to maximize damage. I felt the satisfying instant of resistance before they pierced his flesh to the hilt, cutting through muscle like butter. I felt the blades scrape across bone momentarily and smirked. Just at the apex of my cut, I twisted the blades slightly, hooking onto muscle and veins alike, tearing them from his legs forcefully

The Alpha fell to his knees once more, blood gushed from his wounds without abandon, tendons and muscle lay limply from the torn skin hanging like a wet plastic bag. He wailed in agony, clutching his wounds and trying to force muscle back into his legs helplessly

A cry of outrage shot through the ranks of the opposing dogs, some stepping forward to try and help their fallen leader. They were quickly put in their place however, by Butch "you dogs know rules of combat. Fight to death, no interference"

I stalked up to the crippled dog, panting in pain and rage and hacking up large globs of blood. I threw my back armor off, it hitting the floor with a loud *clang*. Blood flowed freely across my back, coating my already shit stained coat a deep maroon. I was going to make this fuck suffer for what he did. I was going to deliver pain unlike any other. I came up behind the alpha, rearing up and slamming my forehooves down onto his ankles, shattering the bone.

The alpha cried out in anguish, turning his head to glare at me "finish it"

"You're going to wish I did sooner, you bastard" I muttered darkly. Narrowing my eyes, I brought my forehooves down upon his shattered ankles once more. With a sickening crack and squelch, bone shot through his skin, jutting out at odd angles and spurting a mixture of blood and marrow across the floor and myself. The alpha squeeled like a stuck pig

"That's it... I want to hear you squeel.... I'm going to make you pay, for all the lives you've destroyed" trotting out in front of him, I saw that he was barely conscious, lying in a pool of congealed blood and vomit. I couldn't have him dying on my just yet. I repeated my earlier actions on his arms, each time more bone fragments littered the ground, all the while the song of anguish graced my ears. Now that the alpha was truly broken, I added insult to injury. I disengaged my claws, slamming a double hoof punch right into his jaw and sending teeth flying from his jagged maw. I then got to my knees, wrenching his head up to look into his eyes, grinning sadistically "there are beings like you in my homeland. You're nothing special, just another scumbag to be dealt with. Not a day goes by where I don't wish I could get one of you alone.... I guess having a crowd will have to suffice"

The alpha glared in defiance, spitting a mix of teeth and blood in my face. "I did vhat i did thu prothect them, make them stvong"

I recoiled slightly, sighing. 'Spitting, really? Dirty bastard' I wiped my face with a hoof and fixed him with an incredulous stare "even in the face of defeat you fail to see your wrong doings. As the old human saying goes" I extended a foreleg to his face, bringing the claws within millimeters of his eyes "an eye for an eye" and with that, I plunged the mithril claws deep into his eye sockets and into his brain, twisting them 90 degrees and ending his life

I pulled my arm back, letting the alpha's lifeless body fall to the ground in a heap. The now dead alpha's body twitched a couple times before falling still. I tried to get back up. Sadly my adrenaline high had come to an end, I felt everything. I fell to the floor with a grunt of agony

My dogs were around me instantly, forming a protective barrier. There was a tense moment of indecision before anything happened. 'Please don't fight, I won't be able to defend myself for shit...' I groaned, speaking up in a raspy voice "Diamond Dogs, hear me.... Your alpha lies dead, you are without a leader. Do not descend into a civil dispute, you need each other now more than ever"

One by one, the opposing dogs joined us, small smiles gracing their lips. One of them started to cheer, surprisingly. It didn't take long for them to all break out into cries of joy and elation to their new found freedom. It brought a relieved smile to my features

--#--

Celestia and Luna lay on their cloud, slack jawed at what they had just witnessed. The human had just slaughtered the alpha like he was some mere grunt. No remorse, not a single iota of mercy given

Luna found her voice "the alpha lies dead, he was remarkable"

Celestia was not expecting such violence "he... He was so... Merciless, so brutal. Even when he was broken, he found the conviction to finish it. He extended the alpha's life as long as possible, just to bring him more pain. Yet the fight last mere moments"

Luna snorted "Tom exploited the alpha's arrogance, he was dead as soon as he let his guard down. He needed to feel the pain inflicted upon his victims"

Celestia shook her head slowly "was there need to go to such extremes? Tom's reasoning was sound enough to warrant killing the alpha, but his actions were over the top"

"And what of the lives of the children the alpha took? The females he had callously defiled?" Luna pointed to the ground "those dogs revere him now, look at them! They're practically kissing the ground he walks on! Can you not see the weight that has been lifted from their shoulders?"

Celestia sighed "perhaps you're right Luna..." she then perked up "what say we go and lend him a helping hoof? He is in desperate need of medical attention"

Luna nodded, and together they made their way towards the bloody and broken human

--#--

I was lead by Fido to the same fallen log bench that I sat on earlier, plonking my butt once more down upon it. Blood was still gushing from my back, I could feel my cracked and broken ribs grinding against each other, but I couldn't bring myself to care right now. One by one, Diamond Dogs greeted me, giving me thanks and trying to gift me with strange artifacts. I denied them all, that is until Fido grabbed a piece of meat from the makeshift cooking station, holding it out to me with a silent question

I couldn't help it, I didn't give a fuck if a Thestral was able to eat meat or not. I needed this, besides.. It sounded like the dogs had many a run in with Thestrals in the past, they wouldn't just offer me meat without knowing I could eat it. I skewered the meat with my hoof claws, not even caring about the string of brains and tendon coating them. I brought the venison to my mouth taking a large, satisfying bite. It was heavenly, the taste of the succulent deer venison cooked to perfection almost overloaded my senses. I dug in without abandon, causing a round of laughter from the dogs

The cheering stopped suddenly, the air became thick with tension. If someone were to drop a pin, it would be heard. All dogs present  jumped back, yelping and cowering. I was too busy ravaging my meal to care. I had a good idea as to whom it was

I heard a serene, deadpan voice from behind me "charming" Celestia stated

A second voice accompanied the first "indeed sister, though the sight of that would do a good job at inspiring fear into his enemy" 'Luna'

I spoke without turning around "hey Luna, am I correct in my assumption that Thestrals can eat meat?"

"Indeed you are, the fangs should've been a reasonable give away" Luna replied

Celestia spoke "Tom, why eat that ghastly meat? It could be full of diseases"

I sighed "how many hooves am I holding up?"

Celestia answered "none, why do you ask?"

"And that is how many fucks I give right now. Besides, it's cooked to perfection. So no germs" I wheezed, coughing up more blood. I Turned around and gave them an incredulous stare "how did you two sneak up on me..? I can hear everything a mile off for Pete's sake"

The royal sisters exchanged worried glances for a second, Celestia replying "we were following you the moment you left the library, I kept us hidden to you by use of magic"

"Of fucking course, magic" I waved my forehooves around theatrically, almost dropping my venison and wincing in pain "as you probably saw then, the alpha is dead. You can sort out the slaves, that's your domain Celestia. Not mine" I handed the venison to a dog next to me, trying to stand

Luna stopped me, intercepting my path with a flared wing "you are not going anywhere in your condition, sit"

I tried waving her off "Luna, I'm fine. Just let me get ba--" I was cut off by another coughing fit, a mixture of blood and saliva shooting from my muzzle

Luna's eyes narrowed at the sight "You are not 'fine', your are practically dying where you stand! Now sit your rump down and let me heal you" she sighed "why are you so stubborn?"

"Why are you so persistent?" I mirrored, sighing and resigning to my fate. Once again sitting down and having someone fawn over me

Luna approached me, horn alight "now hold still, it will feel... Tingly, but that is normal" I felt the tingle, but it stopped almost as soon as it started. Looking back to Luna I saw her brow furrowed and face contorted into a serious expression. She turned to her sister "Tia, his wounds are too great for me to heal on my own, and I fear we are too far away from a hospital. May you lend me your aid?"

Celestia nodded, a grim look on her face "of course, Luna. It's the least I could do for getting him into such a situation" both sister's horns lit up, moments later, I felt the tingle return. I could feel my wounds closing up, skin reattaching itself seamlessly, bone shifting position and molding back into shape. I cringed at the feeling

Luna giggled, pulling back "I know, it is truly an odd sensation to get used to" she ran a gilded hoof down my back, checking for a reaction

I hissed at the feeling of cold metal, shuddering "Oooofffff, that's bloody cold!!! So Lulu..... What's your verdict on my skills?"

rolling her eyes, Luna replied "you are on the cusp of collapsing and you complain of a cold hoof.. Unbelievable... Tell me if you feel any discomfort. And to answer your question, you have the most amazing fighting spirit I have ever witnessed, though you would benefit greatly from adequate combat training. You had a perfect chance to end his life and avoid most of your injuries, yet you let it slip by. That being said, you have indeed proved yourself worthy of joining my guard, if you wish to do so" she drew her hoof across the length of my back, she then nodded, satisfied. "You are good as new..... Almost"

I raised a brow at the 'almost' comment, but nodded in thanks to them both "so, docs.... What was the damage?"

Celestia spoke up "you... Do not want to know"

"Yes I do" I gave her a deadpan stare

Celestia sighed, exasperated "4 shattered ribs, both lungs punctured, internal bleeding from the liver, deep puncture wounds to your back, damaged vertebrae, several of your back muscles were almost completely severed, no doubt from the damaged armor impacting the tree" she finished, rolling her eyes

I flinched back "wow, that guy had one hell of a punch" 'well, they can destroy solid rock just by punching it, idiot' I thought to myself, criticizing my own performance in my head

Celestia looked to me in concern "indeed, and we could not fully heal you either. Two of your ribs are still broken, they were the worst damaged. We have reconstructed and set them, but they will need time to heal and reattach themselves completely" she turned to Luna "sister, can you please accompany Tom back to the library and make sure he is bandaged?" Luna nodded, standing next to me

I nodded in understand, I saw a dog on the corner of my vision picking up my discarded armor, slowly walking up to me and resting it beside me. I sighed, slumping "ahhh fuck, my new armor! it's ruined!!!" I pouted

Luna laughed, waving me off "worry not, I will supply you with a new one. T'is the least I can do"

"Why?"

She looked to me incredulously "you just risked your life to save not only our ponies, but for a better future for these Diamond Dogs. A mere replacement set of armor is nothing"

I smiled at her "thanks, Luna. You are officially best princess" she smirked, sticking her tongue out at Celestia

Celestia got my attention with a curt *ahem*, rolling her eyes "Yes, well let me be the first to thank you, Tom. Although I do not agree with the level of brutality you exhibited, I must admit that you were indeed impressive to watch"

I then glared at Celestia "that bastard deserved more. I just ran out of ideas and time. I'm guessing that this was originally meant to be a test to see how I'd deal with the dogs. Correct?"

Celestia nodded "indeed, though believe me when I say that the alpha was not part of the plan, I had no idea he was coming.. I am so very sorry for putting you in that situation"

I sighed "look, don't worry about it. I guess fate decided I was having things too easy here. He was all show and no go anyway. I merely got hurt from my own negligence"

Celestia paled "how can you be so.... Casual?!"

I snorted "I'm still alive aren't I?"

"Barely!" Celestia shouted

"Semantics. Anyways, where do we go from here then?"

"That is simple, you may return to Ponyville, your need rest. You need not burden yourself with the dogs any longer. The rest of the negotiation shall by handled by myself"

I nodded, turning to address the dogs. Celestia stopped me, horn alight "you should not be flying whilst your ribs are broken. I shall teleport you both to the library"

I whirled around "not yet! Wai--" I didn't get to finish, my vision shrunk to a pinprick, and I felt like I was being stretched infinitely. The feeling soon passed and I fell to the ground with a dull *thud* "Ooof!"

~#~#~#~#~#~

Twilight was laying on her sofa, enjoying a wonderful book. Tom had gone somewhere about an hour ago, leaving her in blissful silence. This silence however, was about to be interrupted. Twilight suddenly felt the telltale tingle of magic... Teleportation magic, she then heard a pop, and felt an extremely cumbersome weight dropped on her back, sliding to the floor with a *thump*

Luna's voice graced Twilight's ears "Twilight Sparkle, I require you assistance immediately! Bring me your first aid kit at once!"

I got up to a sitting position, looking around at my surroundings. I scowled "seriously? I didn't even get to say so much as goodbye to them!"

Twilight's eyes went wide at the sight of my bloodied appearance. She nodded to Luna, jumping off the sofa and running into the kitchen. She was back in a flash, first aid kit in tow

Luna nodded in thanks, accepting the items. Twilight spoke up "what happened to you, Tom?!"

I waved her off, speaking in a posh English voice "fear not, Twilight Foster! We drank, we fought, she made her ancestors proud!" I patted Luna on the shoulder

Luna shrugged my arm off, giving me a sidelong glance "go and clean yourself of this filth this instant! You smell like an Ursa's rear end! Once you return, I shall see to bandaging you"

"Why didn't we just teleport to a hospital...? And how do you know what an Ursa's butt hole smells like?" I inquired

"Firstly, it is difficult to ignore such a stench of that scale. And it is my understanding that you and sergeant Silverwind are having a soiree at Rainbow Falls this weekend, surely if you were admitted to the hospital you would miss the date" Luna raised a brow

I nodded "point taken. And it's not a date, for crying out loud" I hobbled slowly up the stairs, 'owing' with every step

One very painful shower later, I was now clean and had a ginormous bandage wrapped around my chest, trapping my wings courtesy of the princess of the night. I tried to complain at this, but Luna insisted that I shouldn't be flying whilst the healing process was doing its thing, she also encouraged me not to try shapeshifting until after my ribs had healed, something about too many variables and risks. She left soon after, leaving me and Twilight alone

Twilight's curiosity got the better of her "Tom, what the buck happened out there for you to come back in such a state?"

I rolled my eyes "I'll give you the key points and nothing more, it's a long story. Rolled around in Ursa shit thinking it was mud, spied on some Diamond Dogs, found out they were just looking for help, tried helping them, got ambushed by their alpha, had a one on one death match with said alpha, we beat each other six ways to Sunday, I won, princesses had to heal me, teleported back"

Twilight's eyes shrunk to pinpricks "w-what?"

"Yeah, the alpha broke four of my ribs with one punch, shattered them actually...." I scowled, rubbing my chest subconsciously

".....I'm going to bed. Good night" Twilight stood, shaking her head and leaving the room for her bed

I chuckled to myself 'she's learning' "yeah, me too... It's been a long fucking day" I stood, walking to my own bed and turning in for the night. Once I finally found a comfortable position, I fell into a dreamless sleep

To the Falls!

**Oh look, Equestria

Chapter 13 - To the Falls!**

After finishing my morning routine as well as filling my belly, I gathered my saddlebags and headed for the door. I walked through the market with a silent snarl on my face and a heavy step. Ponies around me exchanged confused glances with their friends, stepping out of my way

Why was I angry? I was late. I was ten minutes late, and I was in a rush to get to me and Silverwind's meeting place outside town hall. You may be thinking to yourself, 'But it's only ten minutes, what's so bad about that?' Though I'd normally agree, it doesn't help when the train we were meant to be catching was due two minutes ago, the next one not being for another seventeen. And if there was one thing that stayed true about Equestria, it was that the trains were on time, every time. They never stayed in the station for more than a minute before departing again

I took the last corner I needed, instantly setting my gaze on the town hall. I let out a sigh of relief, thankful that I was finally there. 'Right, now where is she...?' I squinted, looking around the various buildings for any sign of Silverwind. She was nowhere to be seen. Scowling, I made my way over to the town hall and turned to gaze the way I came from. There was still no sign of her

"Agh, maybe she isn't here yet..." I muttered to myself, sitting down and committing myself to waiting

"Maybe who isn't here yet?" A familiar voice sounded from above me

"Motherfucker!" I jumped out of my skin, devolving into a coughing fit. Silverwind was lazily hovering in the air, a confused and concerned expression adorning her face. She had her own set of saddlebags on, as well as a pair of sunglasses adorning her face

"Hmm..." She tapped her chin before shrugging. "Sorry, I don't think I know any 'motherfucker'." I chuckled

"Hey, Silverwind. Sorry I'm late." Silverwind smiled, landing in front of me and folding her wings

"It's fine. Had a bit of a weird morning I take it?"

"Not so much weird. Just hectic, I suppose." I sighed, rolling my eyes. She nodded sagely, a knowing look on her face.

"Believe me, considering the stuff I've heard about the elements, I'm not that shocked. Anyways, how are you?"

"All things considered, I think I'm alright," I sighed wistfully. "So, when's the next train due?" Silverwind's eyes shot open wide.

"Oh crap! The train!" She whirled around in the direction of the train station, taking to the air. "Come on, let's get a move on!" She shouted to me before shooting off, leaving a slightly perturbed me behind.

"Uh... Sure, I'm right behind you!" I shouted after her, laughing to myself. Without further adieu, I got up and walked towards the station.

I met up with Silverwind just as she was buying her ticket. She noticed me and stepped off to the side, allowing the ticket master to address me, looking to me with a smile.

"Rainbow Falls sir?" I nodded. "Okay, one shroud car ticket comin' right up! That'll be 10 bits." I gave the girl at the counter the relevant money, grabbing my ticket with a wing. "Have a lovely trip sir!" I gave her a smile, walking back over to Silverwind. I got into the range of normal conversation before speaking up.

"Got my ticket, but what's a shroud car?" Silverwind just winked suspiciously at me.

"You'll see..." She muttered quietly before climbing aboard. 'The hell is that supposed to mean?' I mused, shrugging internally and following suit.

As soon as I shut the door behind me, I was met with complete darkness. I strained my eyes but failed to see even an inch in front of me. 'It's no use, I can't see shit...' With a thought, I changed my eyes back to what was normal for a Thestral. I once again gaining my night vision capabilities and allowing me to get a good look at the train car.

The walls were a simple purple felt, with dark wood trim, tinted black windows and bereft of any lights. The seats were made of the same wood, though they looked to be more like benches than anything. The cushions were a deep red colour, matching the carpet. I let out a low whistle as I walked towards Silverwind, admiring the admittedly very nice set up.

We weren't the only ones in the train car and for the first time since coming here, I saw more Thestrals. Oddly enough, they reminded me a lot of humans.

Their coats were different to one of a Pony. While Ponies sported every different colour of the rainbow, these guys were limited to different shades of brown and grey. Not that I had any problem with that, I was a Human after all. I came from a place where skin tones were far and few between. The nostalgia was nice, enough that it brought a smile to my face.

Silverwind got my attention with a sharp clearing of her throat, causing my head to whirl around in her direction. She was now bereft of sunglasses and instead sporting a deadpan look. I gave her a sheepish smile.

"Sorry, was just admiring the decor... Did you say something?" She rolled her eyes and repeated herself.

"I said, how were you able to walk around in the day time without melting your brain?"

"Oh, I just change my eyes if I'm up in the day time. Only draw back is that I've gotta change them back at night, otherwise I can't see a thing." Silverwind grumbled to herself at this, crossing her forelegs and muttering something about me being lucky under her breath. I couldn't help but chuckle. "So, what's so special about this car apart from it being dark as sin?" Silverwind perked up, pointing to the bench opposite her.

"Sit your plot down and I'll tell you."

"...My what?"

"Your butt."

"Oh." I climbed up with care and laid my 'plot' down on the plush and comfortable bench cushion. I shifted around a little, trying to find a comfortable position. I winced as I rested on a sore spot.

"These carts are designed with the more... Sensitive species of Equestria in mind. Ergo, Thestrals. The walls are sound proofed to protect our ears. Mainly from the train whistle more than anything, and as you can plainly tell it's dark in here to help with our eyes." I gave a slow nod.

"Well, it's good to know that the train companies are looking out for others." I then heard the train whistle blow and felt the telltale pull of a train starting its journey, slowly chugging along the tracks. Silverwind smiled at me.

"Rainbow Falls, here we come!" Her happy expression suddenly disappeared, replaced with a soft frown. "Princess Luna told me about your little party with the alpha, what in Night's name were you thinking?!" 'Crap. Time to be honest.'

"I don't know... Silverwind, I'm an angry person as it stands, and everything that's happened hasn't made that any better. On top of that, when the alpha showed up everything just hit the fan so fast..." I stamped a hoof into the cushion, grinding it in anger. "I lost control of the situation." Silverwind gave me a concerned look, not really wanting to delve deeper into the subject in a public place. She leaned forward to lay a foreleg on the table.

"I understand, just remember that I'm here if you want to talk, okay? Just... Be more careful." She offered me a weak smile, one which I returned "How are your ribs doing, by the way?" I was thankful for the change in topic.

"Not as bad as yesterday, surprisingly. Still hurt like hell though. I get the occasional pain when walking or moving too quickly, but it's only momentary." Silverwind nodded, leaning back and flaring her wings, I raised a brow at this.

"Have you tried flexing your wing muscles?" I shook my head, causing her to sigh and roll her eyes. "Of course you haven't... Give it a try. Just unfurl them slowly, you don't want to do it too fast in case of bruising." I took that advice in mind, slowly extending my wings to their full extent. "Give them a few test flaps, not too hard." I did as she instructed, garnering a few jolts of dull throbbing now and again.

"There's a little pain." I then slowly increased the power of my flaps, the pain growing as I went. I soon had to stop, closing my wings with a hiss. I sighed, shaking my head dejectedly. "Looks like I'm not flying anywhere anytime soon." Silverwind's frown deepened slightly as she jumped from her bench seat, trotting over to me. She gave me a few taps on the side, gesturing me to move my ass before climbing up next to me.

"Extend your wings. Slowly." I did so with a raised brow.

"What are you doing?" Silverwind lightly held my wing with her foreleg.

"Basic medical training in The Lunar Guard. Princess Luna has an expectation of her guards to be capable of patching themselves up." She brought her free hoof up, poking and prodding at various points on my side. "Tell me if you feel any discomfort at all." I winced as Silverwind touched a sore spot, grunting and making various incomprehensible sounds.

"Right there." She nodded, bringing her hoof just under the base of my wing, poking it lightly. My eyes widened as a sharp lance of pain shot through me, causing me to take a sharp inhale of air. "Oof... That's unpleasant..." Silver withdrew her hooves quickly.

"Sorry. You have pretty bad bruising around the base of your wing, that's where all the important flight muscles are. Stay out of the air for a while and the bruising should go down quickly. Just make sure to leave it alone." I nodded, returning my wings to my sides.

"Don't worry about it. Thanks for checking." Silverwind smiled.

"You're welcome." She hopped off the bench to return to her own seat. "The falls are absolutely gorgeous! You're going to love it." I chuckled at her enthusiasm.

"It's going to be an experience, that's for sure."

Two hours later we felt the train grinding to a halt. The passengers around us all folded up their news papers, downed their drinks and started their departure with me and Silverwind not far behind. Silverwind slipped her glasses on as we were walking towards the exit, shoving second a pair onto my muzzle. I gave the glasses a quizzical glance. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but what are these for?" I asked. She shrugged, giving me a lopsided smile.

"It'll save you messing with your eyes again," she explained. 'Eyes of the Tiger over here.'

"Risin' up, back on the street... Did my time, took my chances..." I sang quietly to myself, completely aware that my compadre would hear me. Silverwind's ear flicked, a confused expression on her face.

"Huh?"

"Human song." Silverwind rolled her eyes.

"Why do I get the feeling that's going to be happening a lot?"

"I'll make sure to keep my alien references on the low, but I must warn you; I'm into my music." I gave her a smirk.

Upon entering the outside world once more, one thing became very apparent. I quickly learnt why the place was dubbed 'Rainbow Falls'. Almost instantly my gaze was fixed to the sky, my jaw dropped at the sight. High above were huge wispy clouds, liquid rainbows pouring down from them. The falls flowed all the way down to the floor and accumulating in large ponds, mixing with the water to create a wild, psychedelic looking mixture. We were on the the outskirts of what appeared to be a small colourful town, a guard outpost was situated directly to our left, with various gift shops and diners a few hundred yards in front of us. Lots of ponies were milling about, going about their days with content smiles on their faces. Silverwind breathed in the fresh air, sighing in content.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" I was lost for words. This place was amazing! I wouldn't even know that we were on a mountain if it weren't for the sheer drops surrounding us. Grass grew in abundance, birds were singing and chirping away and the air was crisp and cool.

"Equestria once again doesn't cease to amaze me... So, where to first?" Silverwind gestured to a path on our left, leading to a higher point of the falls.

"We're going up there. First thing's first though, let's go into town and pick up some food and drinks." We entered the town proper, weaving past ponies big and small. "Hey, Tom?" Silver asked as we entered a clearing. I smiled at her use of my real name as I usually only hear it around Twilight and Spike.

"What's up?"

"I'm gonna go get us some sandwiches, can you get some stuff from down the street there?"

"Sure, what do you need me to pick up?"

"We'll need some sunblock and towels. You can pick them up from Ponysentials, the big two story building with a purple roof." Her eyes sparkled and her mouth watered. "Oh! Can you go to the baker's and get two caramel cream surprises, please?" She reached back into her saddlebags, pulling out a small sack of money. I waved her off, laughing softly.

"Don't worry about it, I've got it covered." Silverwind's ears splayed back..

"But you forked out 500 bits last time..." Her voice was slightly muffled through the burlap.

"Yeah, but that was my own prerogative to give the barman that much. Seriously, I don't mind." Eventually Silverwind relented, placing the bag back in her saddlebags. "Meet back here in 10?" She nodded, giving me a small smile in return and disappearing to collect our supplies. I walked the opposite way, getting a feel for my surroundings. Despite the amount of ponies around, it was nice and quiet

I opted to go to this 'Ponysentials' first, saving the bakery for last. I entered the store, instantly my senses were bombarded by the smell of perfumes and air fresheners. Taking a glance around, my worries were confirmed. What met my eyes was pure horror, pink frilly things lined the walls wherever I looked, ladies serving samples to each other on every aisle.

I was in a girly shop.

I hated girly shops.

Sighing, I resigned to my fate. Putting on a brave face and approaching a staff member. She was petite earth pony, sporting a cream coat and lavender mane and tail, filled with care products and tied back with a matching head band. Her eyes were blue, highlighted by similar eyeliner to that of Rarity's, and her cutie mark was a lavender flower. The mare smiled as I approached.

"Why hello sir! My name is Vera. May I be of assistance?"

"Yes please, can you point me in the direction of your sunblock and towels? Oh, and do you have any anti-inflammatory cream?" I rubbed the back of my head in slight embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Ms. Vera, but I can't read pony script..." Vera gave me a knowing look.

"Of course, it would be my pleasure. Me and my sisters, Aloe and Lotus were also foreign to Equestria. Mr?" 'Aloe and Lotus, I've heard those names before... Come to think of it, she looks familiar.' I discarded my train of thought and gave Vera a relieved smile.

"Thank you very much. Just Sharpshooter is fine, Ms. Vera."

"Very well, Sharpshooter. Please, follow me."

A few minutes later and I had what I needed. My saddlebags were loaded with the supplies, as well as a little something for myself. I also picked up a couple bottles of water just to be on the safe side. Meeting the bakery's owner was an experience in itself, he was a Gryphon! They weren't exactly what I was expecting them to be, nothing like Earth's mythology. Even so, a Gryphon! His name was apparently 'Gustav', and he spoke in a pompous French accent. Needless to say, I got fed up with him rather quickly. Not that I had anything against French people, just pompous assholes.

Walking back through the marketplace, I found Silverwind rather quickly. She gave me a broad smile as I approached, her saddlebags noticeably larger and a picnic basket at her hooves.

"Welcome back. You find your way around alright?"

"Yeah, I had to stop someone on the way though. Oh, you'll never guess what just happened!" She cocked her head in curiosity. "I met a Gryphon! A freaking Gryphon!" Silverwind tutted, shaking her head in amusement.

"You mean Gustav? He's nothing special. A bit of a grouch, come to think of it."

"Hmph!" I stuck my nose up in the air. "I'll have you know that Gryphons are very prominent in human subculture and mythology. T'was truly a spectacle for me to gaze upon such a magnificent beast." My brows then furrowed. "Wait, does that sound gay? I'm not too sure... Gryphons were said to be nothing more than animals in mythology." Silverwind giggled.

"A little. Are you ready to go?" I nodded. "Alright then, off we go."

We walked out of town, ascending a trail that lead higher up the mountain. As we walked the winding path I took time to appreciate the atmosphere. Wildlife of all shapes and sizes milled about, chirping and mewling happily to one another. A curious squirrel approached us, gazing up at me with its tiny eyes and sniffing the air attentively. I smirked down at the little guy.

"Sorry buddy, I know what you're after, and it's not gonna happen." I knew talking to animals was absurd in its own right but everyone's done it before. What I didn't plan on was the squirrel to actually pout angrily, crossing his tiny arms and stomping away. My eyes widened as I stared at the retreating animal in sheer disbelief. 'That... That fucking squirrel... It just...'

"You big meanie!" Silverwind exclaimed, reaching into my saddlebags to remove one of her caramel cream treats. "Mr. Squirrel! Here, you can have some of mine!" The squirrel whirled around on a dime, beaming a winning smile and running back over. Quicker than I could even blink, the Squirrel had snatched up the treat and shoved it down his throat in one bite. It made for a comical effect, his throat stretched perfectly around the over sized food item. He then blew a raspberry at me before hugging Silver's leg and scampering off up a tree, disappearing from view.

My sanity eroded as I looked on, my jaw hanging open comically. I managed to shake it off enough to form a coherent response.

"No. So much no that it's not even funny." I shook my head in denial, walking up the slope at a brusque pace. Silverwind had to increase her pace in response, giving me a confused look.

"What's wrong? It was just a Squirrel." I kept my eyes firm, my will unwavering.

"Squirrels don't understand people. It just doesn't happen. Animals don't act like that. Sure, they pout and act cute unknowingly, but that little... Demon, acted like a thinking creature."

"You seem to forget that this isn't your world. Things obviously work differently between the two. In fact, it's rather odd that we're extremely similar in the first place," she informed me factually. I sighed explosively.

"You're telling me." Suddenly my ears perked up to something off in the distance, the sound was odd. It was like static from a TV, mixed with the sound of battle drums. I mused on what could have been making such a racket as we turned the last corner to our destination.

For the second time today, I was blown away by what stood before me. We entered a huge grove, plants of almost every colour littered the ground with animals frolicking in the underbrush. We were totally enclosed by trees on either side, with a large circular clearing in the middle. I spared but a glance to these, opting to instead stare at the monstrous waterfall in front of me. The cliff face must have been at least 80 ft tall, pouring its contents into medium sized, deep lake. The sun reflected off the spray of the falls as it crashed from the rocks, creating a permanent rainbow over the lake.

"My god..."

"Uh huh. I was like that the first time I saw this place too." I mumbled something incoherently, my jaw flapping like a fish out of water. Silverwind laughed, coming up behind me and pushing me to the water's edge, gesturing to my saddlebags. "Do you mind if I get the stuff?"

"Uh... Yeah sure, go right ahead..." I nodded dumbly, transfixed on the grove. I eventually came down from my high, giving my attention back to my friend. Silverwind had the towels all set up a few feet from the water's edge, as well as a parasol over head. She squirted some sunblock onto a hoof.

I took the towel next to her, picking up my own bottle and getting to lathering myself up. 'Does this stuff even work with fur?' I laughed internally as I finished coating my forelegs and face. I squirted some more sunblock onto a hoof, reaching around to do my back. Sadly, my forelegs were incapable of reaching. I looked to Silverwind and noticed she was encountering the same problem. She was grunting in annoyance, contorting her body every which way to try and smear the sunblock on her back. When she noticed my bemused look her face flushed red in embarrassment.

"Don't look at me like that! It's harder that it looks you know!"

"Need a little help?" A chuckle escaped my lips as she once again tried to reach her back, succeeding only in losing her balance and face planting into the towel. Silverwind's blush intensified as she groaned into her towel, nodding her head in defeat. I scooted over to her, starting to rub the sunblock in as she hissed in pain, causing me to recoil my hooves quickly.

"Ow! Not so hard!" Silver barked, shuffling uncomfortably.

"Sorry, I'm not used to using these things for anything like this-" A light bulb went off above me, sparking an ingenious idea. "Hang on... If I just..." I concentrated my magic, picturing the perfect tools for a time like this. It was a moment later and I had accomplished my goal. I looked to my new appendages, taking in their splendor. I had hands again. They were furry and gray, but all awesome. I smiled. "That's much better."

"Wha- Oh... That is much better..." Silverwind groaned in content as I massaged the sunblock into her coat, making sure to get every last spot. Didn't want an angry Thestral after me over a sunburn, after all. Silverwind looked to be enjoying her borderline massage, humming happily to herself. I finished up, pulling my hands away despite Silverwind's protests. "Aw, did you have to stop?" I laughed to myself.

"All done, sorry to disappoint." I brought my hands ups, wiggling my fingers. "Fingers, baby!" Silverwind looked up, her brow furrowing.

"That's just creepy." She picked herself up, rotating towards me. "Turn around and sit down." I chuckled as she got to work on me, rubbing the cold liquid into my coat. It was oddly refreshing, having such a dark coat made you a magnet for the sun. "So, I was wondering..."

"Hmm?" I raised a brow.

"How are you holding up with all this?"

"Surprisingly, pretty good." I let out a sigh as Silverwind finished, nodding to her in thanks. "Twilight can be a little grating at times, and frankly her friends down right annoy me to no end." She cocked her head.

"Why?"

"Their personalities, their quirks, they're just not the people I can get along with. They're always trying to rope me into this and that. Although saying that, the blue one, Rainbow Dash, she isn't that bad. A bit childish, but I can tell she's got a good heart."

"Oh come on, aren't you being a little harsh? They haven't don't anything wrong to you."

"No, they haven't. And you're right, I should stop giving them a hard time" I mused, Silverwind nodding in approval.

"How about day to day? How are you adjusting?"

"Not well. It's difficult, you know?" She nodded, motioning me to continue. "It's just... Every day I'm trying to adapt, change to a new way of life. The culture shock isn't as bad as I first thought it'd be, but it's still there. I find interacting with ponies the hardest. Just yesterday I got a slap from Twilight."

"What for?"

"I was bored, so I had a little fun on her expense in the form of poking her relentlessly, that soon went south as I touched a certain spot on her wing. Turns out it's a 'no no' zone. Of course I had no idea and that earned me a red cheek. I don't blame her though, I understand where she's coming from." Silverwind burst into laughter, slapping a hoof on the floor.

"You didn't!" I laughed along with her, seeing the humor in it.

"I sure did. Crap like that happens to me almost every day. The social awkwardness that just grates on somebody's nerves to no end. On top of that, I've got my own morals bearing down on me, screaming at me to get my shit together already. All the while my stress and anger are just building. It's getting tougher to keep my lid on." I shook my head. "I'm gonna be honest, I don't want to ruin the mood talking about my problems." Silverwind let out a sigh, looking to me with determination in her eyes.

"Okay, but will you promise me something?"

"I don't make promises I can't keep, Silver."

"Me neither. Just promise me you'll tell me what's really bothering you eventually, please?"

"You're really caring, you know that?" I smiled sadly. Silverwind looked like I had just offended her.

"Of course I am! Listen, after everything that happened in my life there was one thing I was always missing. That was a real friend, somepony I could talk to, somepony who would listen to me. Princess Luna helped me through some of my problems when she returned, but she was always more of a royal figure than a friend to me. Then that night when me and you shared our stories, I felt like we bonded. You're one of the few, er... Individuals, I've been able to call a true friend. I know what it's like to keep your emotions bottled up, and it worries me knowing that you have a problem but you're not willing to talk about it. You may be dealing with it fine on your own now, but it'll only get worse the longer you put it off." I stared into Silverwind's eyes for a while, completely dumbfounded.

"I... I don't know what to say..." Silverwind looked away in embarrassment.

"Too much?" I shook my head vigorously.

"No, no! It's just, I had no idea you felt so strongly. Thank you Silverwind, that really touched me." I gave her a warm smile. "And I promise, I'll tell you." Silverwind looked back to me, smiling faintly.

"Okay, good."

A silence fell over us as we both gazed at the falls, mesmerized by the torrents of water crashing against the rocks. I decided to speak up, breaking the relative silence.

"You know, I felt the same way about you. Like we connected."

"I'm glad." Her smile grew as she brushed her hair to the side, speaking in a soft voice.

"So how are things for you? How's the day to day life of Silverwind?"

"Things are good, though kinda hectic at the moment. There's a big mission we're going on soon, me and a few others have been selected for it." Silverwind sighed. "So much paperwork! Dossiers, briefings, the whole shebang. As for my day to day? There's not much to tell. I get home, make myself a hot chocolate and just relax." It was my turn to be concerned.

"Don't you talk to anyone? It must get boring just sitting at home every day." Silverwind rolled her eyes.

"Don't be silly! Of course I talk to ponies, in fact I visit Ms. Lyra and Bon Bon quite frequently for tea. They're nice ponies, always willing to help out and listen." 'Well, that was stupid of me to assume she's a loner'.

"It's good to know you have others to call friend too." I smiled warmly, walking to the lake's edge and staring contently into the crystal depths. I dipped an experimental hoof into the water, the temperature drop sent a shiver through me, it was perfect. I didn't even notice the dark figure stalking up from behind me. "Hey, Silver, fancy a swi-AHH!"

*SPLASH*

I broke the surface of the water with a gasp, moving the obstructing mane from my vision with a deft flick of the head. Silverwind was still on shore, laughing her ass off at me. I joined in the laughter, pointing an accusing hoof at her.

"You pushed me!" Silverwind gasped in mock surprise, holding a hoof to her chest.

"Moi? It was only a nudge, you just embellished it. Oh, and Tom? Cannon ball!" My eyes widened as I scrabbled fruitlessly to get away. Silverwind jumped, rolling up into a ball and splashing down right next to me, sending a large wave of water crashing down onto me. She broke the water not a second later, clearing her vision and smirking at me.

"I'll get you..." My eyes narrowed

"You'll have to catch me first!" She smirked playfully, giggling madly and swimming away.

I lost track of time of how long we swam, messing around and splashing each other. Silverwind would sometimes fly a ways up the falls, dive bombing me from a rock high above. It took me a while to get the hang of swimming with hooves, and even then I stood no chance at catching her. Eventually Silverwind had to drag me back on shore, the pain in my chest making it near impossible to swim back myself. After drying ourselves off, Silverwind checked the time. Her eyes widened in shock.

"Holy smokes, it's 6 o clock!" I gazed up at Silverwind in confusion as I applied some anti-inflammatory cream to my chest.

"So? What's the problem?"

"The last train to Ponyville leaves in ten minutes!" My eyes widened slightly at the prospect, we'd have to hurry. 'Although it wouldn't be so bad to be stuck here.'

"Alright, just calm down. We'll pack up now and make our way back to the station. It shouldn't take too long." Silverwind nodded, rushing into action and haphazardly cramming everything back into our bags.

The next few minutes flew by in a blur, Silverwind was apparently not pleased with my speed and opted to fly me there herself, grabbing me around the midsection like she was hugging a barrel. We touched down at the station not a moment too soon, giving our tickets to the conductor and being ushered on board just as the doors were closing. The train ride passed in silence, Silverwind had fallen asleep not long after we took our seats, I was content with not bothering her. Upon our arrival to Ponyville I nudged my friend awake.

"Hey, Silver, up and at 'em, this is our stop." She grumbled in response, reluctantly getting to her hooves and following me off the train. Looking around the streets of Ponyville I saw a few ponies dotted around, packing away their wares for the day and heading off home. We stopped outside the inn where Silverwind was staying, she turned to address me.

"Thanks for coming today, I really needed that"

"You and me both, I enjoyed it." Silverwind chuckled, giving me a warm smile.

"Any time! I'd love to stay and chat but I'm on patrol duty tomorrow, and I want to try and get as much sleep in as possible." I waved her off.

"Don't worry about it, I'll see you later" Silverwind nodded, returning the gesture and slipping into the inn, closing the door behind her. I sighed to myself, a part of me dreading going back to the library.

I had to pull my finger out already, I needed to get my Equestrian life on track. 'Aren't you being a little harsh?' Silverwind's words echoed in my ears. The truth was, now that I thought about it; I was. I've been acting quite dickish towards Twilight and her friends, it was time I made up for it. I nodded to myself, smiling. With new-found fervor, striding towards the library, another day in Pony-hell over.