Half pony, half human, the perfect daughter

by Yoni

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance, Anon, Original Character, Second Person, Comedy, Sparkler, Dinky Hooves, Derpy Hooves, Sex, Slice of Life
Length: 10743

Anon became ever closer to Derpy from the day they decided to consummate their feelings to each other. They stood by each other's side through thick and thin, even through the unexpected pregnancy, which led to some unexpected results .

Anon became ever closer to Derpy from the day they decided to consummate their feelings to each other. They stood by each other's side through thick and thin, even through the unexpected pregnancy, which led to some unexpected results .

You asked for it so here it is, the official sequel to 'Love is in the eye of the beholder'
This is Anon in Equestria second person story, if you don't like that type of story, leave

Warning:

Contains: plot

Published 2014-07-16 01:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-02 17:16:31 UTC

Midnight snack - mini chapter

A shrill cry pierces through the halls of the house and rousing its drowsy occupants. You feel something shove you, forcing your face down towards the hard and unforgiving floor.

"It's your turn," comes the sleepy voice of the love of your life, even if at the moment you feel like smacking her across the muzzle.

You grumble something incomprehensible as you stand on your two legs. With one eye useless, the trek towards Muffin's room just seems that much more torturous. Admittedly, her room is next to yours, you actually converted your old room into Muffin's, now that you sleep with Derpy.

You drag your feet across the wooden floor and head into the lion's den. You quickly close the door behind you, as to not disturb too much the others, and move towards the crib. There, inside it, lays your little angel.

Muffin.

She's crying her tiny eyes out and you quickly take her into your loving embrace. Her volume is decreased but not stopped completely. You hesitantly bring your nose to her diaper and take a quick sniff.

You sigh in relief.

Her diaper is still clean. You carefully change Muffin's position in your grasp so you can hold her with one arm. You move silently towards the kitchen and pull a pre-made jug of milk. You put it on the stove for a few moments; just enough until it's warm, and carefully pour the milk into a bottle. You make sure that the bottle is properly sealed and move it towards Muffin's mouth, who's began sucking from it the moment it touched her lips.

You put her on a highchair and move to sit across the table, one arm supporting your head while the other rests on the table. You gaze lovingly towards your baby. Your own flesh and blood.

When you discovered that you couldn't go back to earth, you thought that you could never have a family of your own and it made you depressed for a while. Each time your depression seeped out, Derpy would always bake you her famous blueberry muffins.

Well, she certainly went above and beyond with your dear Muffin.

You hear shuffling coming from the entrance to the kitchen and tear your gaze from Muffin to see who it is. There, rubbing her sleepy eyes, stands Dinky, your kid as well.

"Hey there Dinks, did I wake you up?"

Dinky doesn't say anything immediately, instead, she slowly walks to where you sit and hop to your lap, curling into a ball of light lavender and blond "No…"

You clutch your chest in an overly dramatic gesture at the sheer cuteness and move your hand to brush Dinky's mane.

"I love fingers…" the filly coos sleepily as she squirms in your lap to allow you more comfortable access to her mane. You comply with her silent plea and move your fingers across the little filly's mane in a soothing manner.

A burp from across the table signifies that Muffin just finished her nightly snack and she's ready to sleep. You stand up with Dinky securely in your left arm and use your right hand with practiced dexterity to lift Muffin to your right arm. It still amazes you how big Muffin is for… something her size.

You slowly make your way towards Dinky's room and tuck the little filly in her bed, giving her a goodnight kiss on her forehead right below her horn, before moving towards Muffin's room and letting her curl with her dolls inside her own crib. You lightly caress her skin, a feeling you never thought you'd feel when touching another, and then slowly moving to her furred hooves. Somehow, you didn't find that weird or repulsive, not even for a second. Muffin was perfect in your eyes.

She was, for all intents and purposes, the best of both worlds.

Random chapter name is random

"Kids are such a joy, aren't they?" you murmur as Derpy climbs back to your shared bed after taking care of Muffin.

"Shut up." Somehow, she manages to swat you across the face, too tired to do something with more permanent results.

As she settles in the bed, you scoot closer to her and warp your arms around her barrel. Her soft coat feels wonderful on your bare chest. Slowly, with all your sleepy might, you start to idly scratch her.

"Hmm… hands…" Derpy moans, scooting closer to you and turning around to give you an easier access.

"You're unbelievable," you mutter, barely able to stay awake.

"I can't help it, your hands feel sooooo good," she moans.

You chuckle lightly and bop her on the nose "Someday, Muffin is going to make a stallion very happy with her hands."

Derpy scowls for a bit before relaxing against your gentle touch "I hope you don't mean anything sexual by that, otherwise, I'm gonna have to swat you again," she says playfully, wiggling closer to you and biting you gently on your nose, her minty hot breath washes across your face.

"Don't worry my little derp horse, I didn't mean it like that."

You slowly wrap your hands around Derpy and pull her ever closer, eliciting a surprised 'eep' from the grey pegasus. She looks lovingly into your eyes before suddenly looking away.

"I'm worried Anon, what if other ponies reject her? What if they'll make fun of her? It would crush my heart seeing her hurt. After Dinky's and Sparkler's dad died, I… I…" Derpy sniffs a few times as a stray tear dares to ruin her perfect cheeks.

You use your thumb to get rid of the pesky tear and lock Derpy in a gentle, but affectionate kiss.

You part your lips and look deep into her cross eyes.

"She is gonna be fine Derpy, remember how ponies reacted when I first appeared? They screamed monster, a freak, an abomination…"

"I can still feel my blood boil when I think about that."

"But look at me now. I live peacefully in this small town, I have a decent job, and most importantly, I fell in love."

"Awww, you're just saying that, Anon."

You shake your head.

"Most definitely not. You're the first pony to show me kindness, Derpy. You're the one who offered me a place to stay when everypony else ran away, even when others stayed away from you as well. My love for you is genuine, and so is my love for Muffin. Should anyone dare to hurt her… God help them…"

You feel two strong hooves wrap around your neck and pull you into a fiery kiss. Derpy wastes no time invading your mouth as her tongue traces over your teeth, paying a lot of attention to your canines. After the initial shock, you melt into the kiss as well, letting your own tongue wrestle with Derpy's, but no matter how much effort you put behind it, Derpy always wins.

You break the kiss as a lone strand of saliva still connects between you. Even in the darkness of the night, you can somehow see Derpy's reddening cheeks.

"It turns me on hearing you talk like a protective father something fierce," Derpy confesses.

You smile lovingly and give Derpy a small peck on the nose before getting comfortable again.

"Let's go to sleep Derpy, I know you're horny but I'm tired."

"Oh fine, but as soon as you're up, I'm gonna ride you till I suck you dry." She emphasizes her words by giving you a long lick from the base of your jaw, all the way up to your lips, sending electric bolts down your spine and redirecting all your blood down south.

"Fine Derpy, but please, be gentle."

"You know I won't…"

Morning.

The most hated time of day.

The curtains were drawn, which meant sunlight was beaming directly into your eyes. Why didn't you close them before heading to sleep? What creature of the deepest reaches of Tartarus compelled you to do so?

"God damn it Celestia. One day, one freaking day. Is that too much to ask?" You mutter.

You hear a faint giggle and feel the sheets shuffling.

"Having a good morning, are we?" came a sultry voice. It was…

"Derpy?"

You open your eyes slowly and look to the other side of bed. Surprisingly enough, Derpy isn't there.

"Derpy? Hey where are- Holy mother of god!"

You feel something wet and slippery slide along your shaft, empowered by your morning wood. You lift the sheets away from you and see Derpy, crouched between your legs, with bedroom eyes. Her tongue was lolling on the side of her mouth as she slowly licks away on her favorite lollipop.

Also known as your penis.

You groan loudly as her slippery tongue makes contact with your tip, before being practically devoured. While sucking, Derpy makes some audible slurping sounds, spurring your desire.

You place your hands on either side of her head and guide her down your shaft. Derpy went all the way like a champ, not gagging for even a second. She stayed firmly connected to your crotch for a few seconds, still making slurping noises, before lifting herself up.

With a skill very unlikely for the usually timid mare, Derpy impaled herself yet again on your (very) decent sized masculinity.

"AGH! Derpy! You're sucking too much of my- agh…"

Holy shit!

Is that even legal?

Ohhhhhhh, MY!

After you and Derpy had a little, shall we say, roll in the hay-

Heh, roll in the hay, you wonder if they actually use that phrase here.

Anywayyyy, after you and Derpy had a little 'morning exercise' you two stepped out of your shared room to prepare for yet another day. Today was your off day actually, and you plan on taking Dinky to school again. After all, you haven't done that since Muffin was born.

You go downstairs and proceed to do your morning ritual.

It would start with you getting your toes stabbed in the corner to the kitchen and censor your swears. Then, you would help Derpy making breakfast. After that, you would start on making the mother of all coffee just to help you feel less like a dead person. And finally, you would go either working or escorting Dinky to school.

Right now though, you simply enjoy the bittersweet taste of a freshly brewed coffee and some pancakes, curtesy of Derpy.

It doesn't take long for the two other members of this strange family to follow the heavenly scent of blueberry pancakes. Dinky and Sparkler trot into the kitchen and sit down on either side of the table. With a synchronized groan, the two fall face first into the hard wood, too tired to be awaken this early in the morning.

Muffin, god bless her, was silently sucking on a bottle of milk near you.

"Come on girls. A baby is quieter then you," you chirp, sounding way too happy for the two fillies in your presence. Thankfully though, the reason for your happiness eludes your daughters.

With a nod, the two sisters light up their horns and throw two pancakes onto your face. The comic *slap* noise of two pancakes finding their target caused Muffin to laugh profusely.

"You dirty little traitor," you mutter as you grab the two sticky pancakes and put them on your plate. "Well, the joke's on you, now I get two extra pancakes."

Realizing their mistake, the two fillies groan yet again, only this time with a smile on their face.

"Come on now, don't play with your food," chided Derpy, who has an orange juice pitcher balanced on her back. You help her by taking the pitcher off her back and put it on the middle of the table. "Thanks Anon."

After breakfast, you decide to escort Dinky to school to say hello to all the fillies and colts. You always had a soft spot for children, and it did not waver when you crossed from your world to this one. You know each colt and filly by name and they adore you almost as much as Cheerilee.

As you approach the school ground's you notice something is out of place. There isn't a single foal playing outside.

"Did we arrive too early?" asks Dinky. She has her hooves wrapped around your head and her hind legs around your neck. Her ears swivel towards the schoolhouse in rapt attention.

Suddenly, the two of you notice a shadow moving across the window. You stop for a moment, grabbing Dinky and putting her behind you, and move towards the schoolhouse. You do not really know what to expect, but you have to be sure. As you approach the entrance to the school you notice the curtains covering the windows. You can hear whispers and murmurs as well, but as soon as your foot connects with the wood floor in front of the door, they stop. Not sure what to do, you look back at Dinky.

"Listen, stay out here until I say otherwise. If something happens to me, you run away."

"But I can't leave you-"

"This isn't up for debate, Dinky. I won't be able to forgive myself is something happens to you."

Dinky hangs her head and nods.

You weakly smile, trying to assure Dinky that you are not mad at her, before spinning in place and moving towards the door.

You grasp the door handle firmly between your fingers and twist. You can feel the rusty hinges creek as they move, giving away your position for anything that might be inside the schoolhouse.

You enter the dark classroom, looking around for anything out of the ordinary, something that proved to be useless without any light source. You move your hand across the wall until you find what you are looking for.

With a flick of the switch, the lights turn on.

"CONGRATULATIONS ANON!"

Your heart is practically ripped from your mortal body as you leap into the air, startled beyond belief. Your breathing becomes rapid and fast, your hands shaking and your eyes wide. You look at the mass of giggling foals and Cheerilee as they hold a sign. It says with big, bold letters 'Congratulations for the baby!' with a crudely drawn you, Dinky, Sparkler, Derpy and Muffin holding hands and hooves.

You will never admit that to anyone but that sign almost brought tears to your eyes.

Before anyone could say anything you move forward and embrace Cheerilee in a tight hug, one which she happily returns. The rest of the foals follow suit as every last one of them is trying to hug you, resulting in a big pile of foals.

"Cheerilee I- don't know what to say," you croak. Fighting the tears as much as possible.

Cheerilee gives you a firm squeeze before replying. "I know how stressed you've been over Muffin so I just wanted to say to you, that no matter what others may think, this generation of foals will accept and love your daughter, no matter how different she may be." She lets you go and looks into your eyes. "She's as much pony as she's human. If I was able to accept you than I know your daughter will be just as loved."

You look around the classroom. Each foal is bearing a personal letter for you in their mouth.

'If only they could weaponize cuteness…' you think to yourself.

One by one, each foal hands you their letter. Your smile turns slightly bigger when you see Dinky gives you hers. "You knew about this, didn't you, Dinks."

Dinky smiles sheepishly as she draw circles with her hooves. "I just thought it would cheer you up a bit. I know you and mommy are afraid of what other ponies might say…"

You can feel your heart melt as Dinky finishes her speech. Without warning, you grab Dinky into your arms and squeeze her tight. "You are without a doubt the most adorable daughter ever."

"Really! Even more than Sparkler?"

"Don't push it Dinks."

"Hehe, sorry…"

D'awwwwwww, you can't stay mad at a face like this. "It's alright, Dinky. I love you." You give her a little kiss on the head, just below the horn. You can feel Dinky wrap her hooves around your neck and nuzzle your cheek.

"I love you too, dad."

You pause for a moment as the air catches in your throat. You look down at the filly currently snuggling in your embrace. She was the same filly that you saved on your first day in Equestria, the same filly that would often ask you to escort her to school, the same filly that rushes to you when she's sad, the same filly that shares you with her joy, and the same filly that you now call a daughter.

So why does she looks so different now? Why does she fill such a larger part of your heart?

You move your head closer to Dinky, and whisper softly to her ear. "Thanks Dinky. For everything."

Bedtime story

There is nothing quite like the feeling of sitting comfortably in front of a lit fireplace, drinking tea, and reading the newspaper in the serenity and quietness of the night. It was a grueling day at work. Your boss had to fire a few employees and thus, almost doubling your workload. Thankfully, your boss was quite a reasonable mare, and your salary was raised accordingly.

Poor Derpy was exhausted by the time you arrived home. Sure, you are the one who keeps the roof over your heads, but the sudden change in your working hours have forced her to take care of your three daughters for a lot longer.  Sparkler, thankfully, was old enough to help Derpy raising Muffin while simultaneously keeping an eye on Dinky.

Speaking of which…

"Daddy, I had a nightmare…"

You look up from the newspaper you have been reading and glance towards Dinky, who was standing right in front of you. On her back there was a small doll of Princess Luna that you bought to her to keep bad dreams at bay. Obviously, the doll has been slacking off. You observe the clock on the far side of the room. It read eleven PM.

You take another sip from your tea before whispering, "And what about Derpy? You usually go to her when you have nightmares."

"She's asleep, and I don't want to bother her."

You nod at that. Derpy was stretching herself thin lately. A third child is not easy. Especially for a mare who was a single parent for such a long time. You crane your head towards the ceiling, as if by doing that, you can glance at your beautiful mare sleeping soundly in your shared bed.

You crack a smile and get up from the couch. You move towards Dinky and snatch her from the floor before moving towards her room. As you reach her bedroom, you fling Dinky towards her bed, much to her amusement. She bounces once before you catch her mid-air, storing as much as you can into your lungs before delivering a mighty raspberry on Dinky's tummy.

Dinky shrieks and laughs, pounding her hooves uselessly against your head. You respond in kind by letting yet another raspberry to assault her tummy. Once the deed was complete you place Dinky back in her bed, the filly still laughs a bit.

You move your hand to your chin and scratch it. 'I really need to shave,' you think absentmindedly. "So, you can't fall sleep."

Dinky nods.

"And waking up mommy is a no-no."

Again, she nods.

"Well-" you place both of your hands on top of your knees and smile at Dinky. "-Then I think there's only one way to remedy that… Anon's famous bedtime stories!" you proclaim.

Dinky looks at you with wide eyes, a smile slowly spreading across her muzzle. "Really?! But I thought you only tell me your famous bedtime stories once a month, And you already told me one last week."

It was true. You tell Dinky one of your famous bedtime stories once a month, and only if she behaves herself. Your reasoning behind that is that you know how much Dinky enjoys listening to your stories, so you and her made an agreement that once a month, whenever she behaves herself, she gets to hear a story.

Her grades have never been higher since.

You nod. "True, true, but since you scored an A+ on your math test yesterday, and I know how much you struggle with math, I decided that you deserve another bedtime story."

Dinky squeals and jumps from her spot on the bed straight to your chest, hugging you. "Thanks daddy, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

You smile as well and hug Dinky back. Being called 'Daddy' is the greatest gift you could have from her.

You give Dinks a kiss between her eyes and slowly tuck her into bed. "So, what adventures from my world you'd like me to tell you this time, Dinks?" you ask? You may have… spiced things up a little whenever you told somepony how life was back on Earth. It was always playful, and the adults knew you were exaggerating, but the foals were like putty in your hands when you first told about your world. You remember it clearly. It was when Dinky brought you to her schoolhouse for show-and-tell, but that's a story for another chapter. Right now, you have a daughter to put to sleep.

"Something with tons of adventures!" exclaims Dinky, putting her hooves up in emphasis. You rub your chin again, taking a moment to think of a good story. Your eyes lit up as you find the perfect story to tell. You are about to begin when a voice calls from the doorway.

"Are you telling Dinky a bedtime story?"

You turn your head and lock eyes with Sparkler. You nod. "Yes, wanna join?"

"Anon, I'm too old for this."

"Okay, fine, I guess I'll just-"

"Buuuuuut I guess I could stay for a few moments..." Sparkler says. She moves across the room and jumps on Dinky's bed. Dinky laughs as the action causes her to bounce. Once Sparkler was properly tucked in bed, Dinky moves to snuggle into her sister's side. Both fillies look at you, giving you their undivided attention.

You laugh gently yourself before opting a more serious demeanor.

"This story began long ago, on a land far away to the north-"

"What was this land called?"

"Skyrim, Dinky. I was trekking across the border when a terrible fate fell upon me, for you see, I was captured!" the two fillies gasp. "It was an ambush, set by the Imperials to capture the rebels known as Stormcloaks. The Imperials thought I was a Stormcloak as well, and brought with the imperial to face justice. Said justice was a one way ticket to the executioner's axe.

"B-but you weren't a rebel, daddy! This is unfair!"

"I know Dinks, I know. But what can you do. Anyway- there I was. My neck pressed against the block as my eyes wandered towards the gleaming blade of the executioner's axe, which had a few smears of blood from the previous victim. I was shaking with fear, thinking just how unsanitary this is." The fillies laughed. "Then, just as the executioner was about to bring his axe down on my throat… a dragon appeared!"

"….and ever since then, songs of my triumphs were sung to this very day, celebrating my victory against the world-eater, Alduin."

You finish your story by striking a heroic pose.

"That was…*yawn*…interesting," comments Sparkler, her eyes were only half-lidded and slightly droopy. Dinky though, was a different story. She was fast asleep and snoring lightly, snuggling with her Luna doll.

You help Sparkler get up from Dinky's bed and escort her to her own room. You turn on the lights for Sparkler and wait until she tucks herself in her own bed before turning them off. You are about to retire to your own bed when you hear Sparkler call.

"Anon?"

You poke your head into Sparkler's room. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to say… thank you."

"Thank you? Why?"

"Well… I can't really describe it. I was very little when father died, I don't remember a whole lot about him. Poor Dinky didn't even have the chance of meeting him. And despite that, mother still somehow managed to take care of us three. And then you came. At first I was worried, I thought that there's no way mom could support the four of us.

"I could see that you two had something going on. Mom had never been so happy in her life before you came. I admit that at first, I didn't approve this. That there's no way my mom could love something such as you. But then I learnt more about you. About how kind, sweet and caring you are. Believe me when I say that there's no stallion more deserving to have mom as partner for life more than you. I am proud to call you my dad, Anon."

"And I'm proud to call you my daughter, Sparkler, truly. Good night Sparky, I love you." You start walking back to your room when you faintly hear Sparkler say;

"Good night dad, I love you too."

Nightmare Night

"Come on daddy I don't want to be late!" Dinky bangs on the door as you finish putting on your costume for Nightmare Night.

"All right, all right, geez you are relentless today," you call as you open the door. You expect to see Dinky standing in the hallway in front of you but she already skidded downstairs to join the rest of your family. You shake your head and smile to yourself. This would be your first Nightmare Night outing. All the other times you stayed home, allowing Derpy to have some quality time with her daughters whilst you would give candies to the fillies and colts, but this Nightmare Night Derpy decided to give Sparkler permission to throw a party in the house, allowing you to join the festivities, and good thing too, since you and Derpy are a part of this year's play.

You join your family downstairs. Your smile broadens as you look at your costumed daughters and lover.

Dinky was wearing a white spider outfit with a red circle on her back. She had eight fake spider legs extending from her back that would bob back and forth each time she took a step.

Sparkler dressed herself as a vampony, complete with fangs, yellow eye contacts, and leathery wings. She even had a small bottle of fake blood to put on her fangs.

Muffin was by far the cutest. With all due respect for Dinky, there was no way she could compete with the adorableness that was your little ladybug. Muffin wore a small red cap with two antennas attached to it. She also wore a red dress with black dots on her back, as well as tiny red horseshoes.

Your eyes then land on Derpy and your heart flutters. Derpy had a pink and white gown that covered her entire body and a decorated with a golden crown on top of her head. Her front hooves were covered with white stockings and her ears had a pair of blue gem earrings. Even without the costume you still consider her your princess.

"You look beautiful," you blurt out. Derpy blushes as she adjusts Muffin in her stroller.

"You don't look too bad yourself," she says back, prompting you to look down on yourself and inspect your own costume.

You wore a green tunic, a green cap on top of your head, brown boots, and strapped onto your back were a shield and a fake sword.

"You really think so?"

Derpy nods. "Absolutely. Rarity truly is a master of her craft."

"Yeah, yeah, we all look great. Can we go now?!" Dinky exclaims impatiently.

Derpy giggles as she moves next to Dinky and nuzzles her head, "Of course Sweetie."

"You go ahead, I want to talk to Sparkler first," you tell Derpy. She nods and escorts Dinky outside, pulling Muffin along. Dinky can barely keep herself contained as Derpy hangs a large sack around her neck to store all her candies in.

You wait until Derpy closes the door behind her before turning around and kneeling so you are eye to eye with Sparkler.

Before you even open your mouth Sparkler interrupts you.

"I know what you're going to say already. Don't worry, I'll make sure the house won't burn down, I'll clean afterwards, and I won't make too much noise later in the night."

You chuckle, patting Sparkler on the head. "That's not was I was going to say actually," you reply as you fish something out of your pocket and present it to Sparkle. Her face positively explodes with blush as she stares down at the sealed condom.

"D-Dad, I-I won't…"

"Save it Sparkler. I know teens in your age have… urges, and outright forbidding you from having sex will do more harm than good."

"T-Thanks, I guess…" Sparkler awkwardly takes the condom from your hand and stuffs it beneath her costume.

"You're welcome," you reply as you stand up and move towards the house entrance. "Oh, and before I forget, I have taken the liberty and bought some beer for you and your friends. It's hidden on the bottom shelf in the refrigerator."

"Really?!" You almost fall down as Sparkler suddenly leaps and hugs you tightly. "Thank you dad!"

"Sure thing Honey." You move your arms around Sparkler and squeeze her tightly. You stay like this for a few moments before letting Sparkler go. You two bid each other good night as you finally leave the house.

Almost immediately you see a group of foals run past you, their sacks full of candy as they themselves are filled with the holiday spirit.

You smile to yourself as you make your way towards the town square, admiring the decorated town. Ponyville is known for its festive community, but seeing it firsthand was something truly magical. The entire town was completely decorated with orange paper lanterns, fake cobwebs on the windows of various houses, Nightmare Moon's and Princess Luna's cutie marks dotting the place, and many other things.

And then of course there are the ponies. Everypony wore something, even the adults. Most costumes were cute and funny but of course there is the occasional raunchy costume here and there. It was actually quite interesting to see how ponies used clothes to make themselves more attractive considering they usually walk around naked.

Eventually you reach the town square and look around. Everywhere you look there are stands selling food and games for the foals to play. It doesn't take very long to find Derpy and Dinky among the crowds thanks to your superior height over the ponies.

You make your way towards a particular stand where you can see foals throwing toy spiders towards a web, Dinky herself is amongst the foals while Derpy is sitting on a nearby bench, watching Dinky play as she holds Muffin.

Once Derpy sees you she waves at you. You wave back and speed up a bit. Once you reach Derpy you sit next to her and give her a kiss straight on the lips. Derpy is more than happy to return the gesture as she leans onto you. You break the kiss and look down on Muffin, who was looking all around her with wonderment.

"Her first Nightmare Night," Derpy whispers.

"Yeah… Let's make it extra special for her."

"Wanna hold her?"

"Of course."

You carefully lift Muffin and hold her next to your head, looking down on her before giving her a kiss on the forehead.

"She has your hair," you remark as you brush a few locks of golden hairs that poked out from underneath Muffin's cap. Muffin laughs as she looks up at you, her hands reaching up to your face.

You lift her closer and let her hands roam across your face with her tiny little fingers.

"She has your humanity," Derpy responds jokingly. You let out a chuckle as you gently place Muffin back in her stroller, picking up a Celestia doll and playing with her.

"How Dinky is holding? She went to bed early this afternoon so she won't get tired too quickly." You ask.

"She's doing just fine. It is her favorite holiday after all. What about Sparkler, what did you want to talk to her about?"

"Oh you know, this and that, making sure she understands her responsibilities."

Derpy squint her eyes at you. "Is that all?"

"I may also gave her a condom, just in case…"

Derpy sighs as she casts her eyes towards Dinky. "I sometimes forget that Sparkler is not my little girl anymore. I know I should be proud but…"

You smile in sympathy as you pull Derpy into a deep hug, your chin resting on her head. "She will always remain your little girl Derpy."

Derpy shifts her position and gives you a kiss on the chin before nuzzling into the crook of your neck. "She's your little girl too, you know."

"I know Derpy, I know."

"Daddy, daddy!" You feel something hugging you from behind. You let Derpy go and turn your neck to face Dinky, her face beaming with joy. "I managed to throw the spider directly in the middle of the web!"

"Really?! That's amazing Dinky!" You call, snatching the filly from behind you and bringing her to your chest.

"Aren't you going candy hunting with your friends, Sweetie?" Derpy asks, sitting next to you and smiling.

"I will right after the play, I don't want to miss your performance," The filly responds.

"Then you better gather your friends and go to the stage, the play is about to begin," you say to Dinky. The filly squeals and darts off. "Are you ready, Derpy?"

Derpy's gaze fall a little as she stares at the ground with uncertainty. "I don't know, Anon. I don't think it was such a good idea to participate in this year's performance."

You grab Derpy's chin and lift her head up to meet with your eyes. "Come on Derpy, we've been practicing for months now. Don't tell me you're having second thoughts."

"B-But what happens if I forget my lines, or that I trip and make a fool out of myself, or that-"

You silence Derpy by placing your lips against hers. It works like a charm as she moans into your mouth, savoring the moment.

You slowly break the kiss and giving Derpy a reassuring smile.

"You've got nothing to fear, Derpy. You will do just fine. Just focus on me and say your lines."

"If you say so, then I trust you."

You kiss Derpy on the nose and stand up from the bench. "That's the spirit! Now let's go, Cheerilee agreed to take care of Muffin while we preform, she said to meet her near the stage."

Derpy also rises from the bench, her spirits lifted and her heart filled with determination. She floats next to you and you offer her one of your hands, the other holds Muffin's stroller.

"Shall we, my princess?"

Derpy giggles and blushes, taking hold of your hand.

"We shall."

It doesn't take too long for you to arrive to the stage. Ponies in different costumes were milling about, mumbling their lines and making sure every prop was in its place. You spot Cheerilee casually talking with Mayor Mare. The former was dressed as a witch whiles the latter as a fairy.

Cheerilee spots you, Derpy, and Muffin as you make your way towards her and she waves at you.

"Anon, Derpy, it's so good to see you."

"Likewise," Derpy answers once you get close enough so you won't have to shout. "Again, thank you so much for helping us with Muffin."

Cheerilee shakes her head and waves a dismissive hoof. "Nonsenses, it is the least I can do. And besides, I can't wait to see you two preform, especially when it's an adaptation of one of Anon's stories."

"I must say, when Mayor Mare came to me with the idea I was a little surprised. Still, playing as the hero of one of my stories really gets me excited."

Mayor Mare nods in approval and glances towards the slowly increasing crowd. "Well, as much as I would love to stay here and chat with you two, it seems the time has come for us to start."

You spare a glance towards the crowd as well, spotting Dinky among her friends. You can even detect Sparkler in the back with a few other teenagers. You guess she might want to see the play as well, you just hope she remembered to lock the house beforehand.

You are pulled out of your thoughts when Derpy tugs on your tunic and directs you to the backstage. You hand Muffin's stroller to Cheerilee before following Derpy, feeling tingly in your stomach.

A few minutes pass and the crowd slowly becomes quieter. The lights of the stage dim until only a single spotlight remains lit. Then Zecora steps from the back curtain onto the stage, dressed in black robes with light blue markings on her hooves. The spotlight follows her as she makes her way to the front of the stage, looking across the now silent crowd.

"This is but one of the legends of which the people speak…" she begins, her voice melodic and mysterious.

"…Of a princess named Zelda…"

Derpy came out on the stage, bowing to the crowd.

"…And of a hero named Link…"

That's your cue. Let's get this show on the road!

"And so ends our tale of wonder, as our brave hero reunites with his lover…"

You kneel down and kiss Derpy on the lips, bringing the show to a close. The crowd's thunderous cheers and stomping hooves makes your entire body to vibrate and you can't help but feel all gooey inside.

As the two of you break the kiss Derpy takes a step towards the backstage but before she can move a single step, you take her hoof in your hand. And with a voice strong enough so that the crowd could hear, you speak, "Derpy, I can't even begin to tell you how happy you have made me from the day I first appeared in this strange and magical land."

Derpy looks around before her eyes lock on you. The confusion on her face is reflected on the crowd as well.

"Not only did you open your heart for me, but you also gave me something I never thought I could have: Family."

"Anon, what exactly are you saying?" Derpy whispers.

"What I'm saying Derpy is…" you move your free hand towards your tunic and pull out a hoof-sized wooden box.

You open it and the entire crowd gasps.

Inside the box lies a silver band with a gleaming sapphire gem.

"Derpy Hooves, will you make me the happiest man alive and become my wife?"

You stare at Derpy hopefully. Her gaze fixed to the band as her other hoof covers her mouth, eyes wide.

You almost think that you blew it after a few more moments of complete silence.

And then, a voice pierces the quietness, a voice that over the years became the reason you wake up in the morning.

You lock eyes with Derpy, her own start to water, as she chokes a single, emotion-filled word.

"Y-Yes…"

You stare at Derpy, she stares back. And without saying a word you meet in a passionate embrace. The crowd that was previously awestruck erupts with cheers.

As you and Derpy break the kiss you can't help but laugh. Derpy joins in the laughter as she lets you slide the engagement band on her hoof, admiring it before hugging you tightly.

You turn your head towards the crowd, spotting your slack-jawed daughters and gesturing them to come. Smiles soon cover their faces as they climb on top of the stage and hug you and Derpy as well.

And as you kneel there, surrounded by your loving family, you can't help but feel good about what the future have in store for you.

Didn't see that coming

You wake up under the warm confines of your blanket, feeling rejuvenated. Luckily for you, the curtains inside Derpy's room can block just enough light.

'Suck it, Celestia!' you think triumphantly.

You turn to the other side of the bed and smile when you see a certain grey and blonde lump poking beneath the sheets. You scoot closer to your beloved mare-friend and wrap your arms around her.

Derpy lets out a cute little yawn before giggling as she regains her senses and finds herself entangled between your arms. You move your head closer to hers and whisper "Good morning" as you plant a quick kiss on Derpy's cheek.

Her reaction is immediate as she spins, still in your grasp, and plants her own kiss directly on your lips, catching you by surprise for a second.

She breaks the kiss as her gaze lingers on your good eye; a small blush grows across her muzzle in the cutest of manners.

You smile and raise your head just enough to see the clock on the night dresser closer to Derpy. It reads six thirty.

"We should get up," you say quietly as to not wake up Dinky and Sparkler prematurely.

Derpy groans.

"Do we have to?" She moves closer to you and curls into your chest, letting out a content sigh as she revels in the feeling of your smooth skin across her fur. You find it hard to get up now, because Derpy is both snuggling into you and grabs you from behind, not letting you go.

After a few more minutes of playful banter that ended in a tickle fight, you finally break free from the mare's grasp and stand up. Derpy moans in fake displeasure and gets out of bed as well.

As she does that, your eyes linger on her belly, which had swollen over the last ten months and into the eleventh. You're still a tad nervous about this whole pregnancy but luckily, Derpy was by your side the entire time, and you by hers.

You move closer to your lover and kneel down, giving Derpy a passionate kiss while your hands roam around her belly.

"Any day now, huh? Are you nervous?" you ask.

Derpy casts a glance towards her belly as well "Slightly…"

You see a small worried frown ached onto Derpy's muzzle and decide to help her relax. You take her in your arms and move into your private bathroom. Upon stepping through the threshold, you place Derpy gently on the floor tiles and fill the hot tub,

preparing a nice bath.

It doesn't take long for the bath to fill. You dip your hand into the water, finding them to your liking and stripping completely.

Again, you scoop Derpy into your chest and ease yourself into the bath, enjoying the nice warm feeling.

Derpy is also relaxing, if her soothed muscles and stable breathing is any indication.

She rests with her back pressed onto your chest, the back of her head rests on your shoulder as you hold her in place.

Your once gentle smile turns cheeky as you let your hand glide across Derpy's belly. She coos as relaxation claims her, but unknown to her, you don't have any intentions to stay on her belly, and your hand slowly descends until it brushes across two bulging mounds.

Derpy suddenly gasps as her muscles tense under your touch.

"A-Anon, what…"

Her sentence is cut short when you gently pinch her left nipple, causing Derpy to moan loudly.

"Shhh… Just relax…" you whisper into her ear and slowly blowing hot air into it, causing her ears to flicker.

You turn your attention back to Derpy's teats, massaging them and occasionally pinching at the tips. With each stroke, Derpy's moans getting louder and louder. You can feel her heart beating faster the more you caress and explore.

But your hand don't stop there, oh no, it descends further more until it rests on her marehood. Derpy lets out a particularly long moan as you use your index and ring finger to part her folds while slipping your middle finger into the warm confines of her sex.

"A-Anon… ahhh! Don't- Don't stop…" Derpy cries, moving her hips to allow as much of your finger to slip in. Her moist folds try to hold your prodding appendage inside as you slowly move in and out, increasing your motions only to slow down when she nears her peak "No… Please. I-I need this…"

"Then say it," you slowly whisper, letting another rush of hot air wash across her ears.

She turns around in your grasp and pulls you for a passionate kiss, much like the one in bed not moments ago. Derpy breaks the kiss and looks at you with bedroom eyes.

"Inside me. Now!"

You nod and ease Derpy lower and lower until your throbbing member touching her lower lips. Derpy squirms in your grasp but you hold her firmly, just barely brushing across her sex.

"Anon, honest to Celestia, if you're not gonna- ahhhh!"

You silence the mare's rant by quickly plunging into her. The sudden penetration and her previous arousal caused Derpy's muscles to contract tightly around your member. It takes you a few seconds to steady your breath before you slowly slide out, leaving only the tip inside Derpy. Then, you thrust back in, earning another cry of pure bliss from the mare. You pull her into another kiss to muffle her cries so that she wouldn't wake up Sparkler, or even worse, Dinky.

You slowly build a steady rhythm of thrusting. Your hands rest on Derpy's cutie mark as her front hooves rest on your shoulder. The room emanates a sweet scent of flowers and lust, leaving your mind blank. The warm water, combined with Derpy's silky coat as it slides up and down across your chest creates a most wonderful sensation.

You grunt a few times as you quicken your pace. Derpy's folds become more and more tight, which in turn, forces you to use more force. Derpy's own moans of ecstasy spur you further as you pound into her faster and faster, until finally, she comes.

Again, you had to muffle Derpy's cries by kissing her, lest she'd wake up the entire block. You feel yourself going over the edge as you release deep inside her. The two of you stay like that for a few minutes, letting yourselves enjoy the afterglow. You drain the bath and fill it again with hot water, actually bathing this time.

Once clean, you step out of the shower with Derpy in tow. You make your way towards the kitchen and help Derpy prepare breakfast. Today you decided to make some scrambled eggs with hay bacon for Derpy and her daughters, and real bacon for yourself (thank god for the gryphons). While manning the stove, Derpy is standing next to you, squeezing a fresh batch of orange juice.

You just finish dividing the eggs into four plates when Dinky and Sparkler arrive to the dining table.

"Good morning Dinky, good morning Sparkler, how was your sleep?" you greet the two fillies.

"I want to go back to bed," grumbles Dinky, though as she lays her eyes upon the dining table, her spirits are lifted "Yay, scrambled eggs!"

"Relax Dinky, it's only scrambled eggs," says Sparkler, though she can't keep the smile off her face.

"It's not JUST scrambled eggs, it's Anon's famous scrambled eggs!" Dinky exclaims.

"Well…" Sparkler eyes her plate "You do have a point."

You chuckle to yourself as you take your sit next to Derpy. The moment you sit down, Dinky eats away at her meal with gusto, and who can blame her, your scrambled eggs are to die for.

The rest of you chuckle and start eating as well. Sparkler takes a few bites before addressing you.

"So, I bet you're excited heh, Anon?"

You take a sip of orange juice before answering.

"More than you think. Though I find ways to unwind and clear my head."

"Like what you did this morning with mommy?" Dinky asks innocently.

You choke.

"Wh-what do you know about this?" Derpy asks, afraid to know the answer while also patting you on the back

Dinky looks a bit concerned by your sudden reaction but replies nonetheless "Did Anon hurt you? You were making a lot of noises."

"No, no! That wasn't real; sometimes I fake it when I wrestle with Anon."

"WHAT!" you exclaim.

Dinky then looks at you "Please don't wrestle with mommy, you're too big, you can hurt her."

"Yeah Anon, stop that," Sparkler says, almost bursting with laughter.

"Okay, go to school Dinky and I'll have Sparkler to pick you up, okay?" says Derpy.

"Okay, bye Sparkler, bye Anon." Dinky hops from the chair and exits the house. When the door closes, Sparkler bursts with laughter.

Derpy sighs in relief "I think she bought it."

"You mean the story of how daddy beats up mommy?" you almost shout.

"Relax, I told her I was fine," Derpy says over the growing laughter of Sparkler, who is now rolling across the floor.

"Look, I could hear the worry in her voice. Why don’t we tell her the truth?"

"What, that sometimes I ride you like a mechanical bull to get pleasure? She's too young to understand."

Sparkler suddenly stops laughing "I really didn't need to hear that."

"Can we just drop the subject?" you suggest, you really don't want to get into these kinds of conversations.

"Agreed" you hear both Derpy and Sparkler say. You sigh and prepare for your own day of work. Derpy stays at home from obvious reasons so you also did her routes as well, earning enough money so you could still support your family.

Sparkler is trotting besides you as you walk towards the post office to start another day of work. It was something you did lately a lot, since you both feel as if you're not really close to each other as you would like.

"So, when will you talk to Dinky about the birds and bees?"

You shot her a glare.

"I was being serious. I mean, I knew about sex about her age too."

"And look what happened to you," you say, smirking.

"Hey, take that back!" she starts kicking your legs.

"Fine, fine, I'm sorry. Geez, you're worse than Celestia." As you say that, a pot nearly falls on your head "Jesus Christ good god almighty!"

"It's just isn't you day, isn't it?" Sparkler giggles.

"Don't jinx it. God I need a drink…"

Finally, you reach the post office and bid sparkler goodbye. You take your hat off the stand and a full bag of letters and step out from the back door. Near the door itself, lays the bicycles you ordered. It took you some time to show the blacksmith pony the blueprints but the final result was worth it.

Now, it took you something like five hours to finish both your route and Derpy's. In fact, you were so efficient that your boss gave you a raise, which is always nice, considering the amount of time it took you to relearn how to ride with only one eye.

During your mail delivering, you think back about when you and Derpy took your relationship to the next level. A dopey smile crosses your lips as you picture her face in your eye(s), her loving smile, motherly voice, and the way her eyes look towards completely different directions when she's blushing.

Yes, you are one lucky son-of-a-bitch. You have a lovely mare-friend, two fillies that see you as their dad and you, as your daughters, and another daughter on the way. You could use soundproof walls, though.

Daydreaming aside, you continue your trek through Ponyville. Greeting ponies as they pass you and delivering the mail. All that cycling for the past months really did wonders for your body. You're definitely not ripped or anything, but you do have a nice six pack. Too bad ponies can't seem to appreciate your healthy body, considering you're not from the same species.

Finally, work was done and done correctly, just the way you like it. You stop by the post office to place your bicycle back to where it belongs as well as to put your hat away. You take your time in the office drinking from the water cooler, it seems that Celestia heard your previous remark and decided to focus all the heat on you. You really need to learn to keep your mouth shut.

Then the most unexpected thing happened. Somepony pretty much rammed into the post office, but before you could determine who it was, you fell backward as said pony slams into you.

You slowly get up from the floor, rubbing your aching head as well as rubbing your eye. You focus your attention towards the pony who tackled you. It was Sparkler!

"Sparkler, what are you doing here?" you ask as you help her get on all four. She rubs her head before trying to focus her gaze on you, and when she does, she looks panicked.

"Anon, it's mom! Her water's broke, she's going into labor!" she cries.

"WHAT!" you bark "where is she now?!"

"She got carried into the hospital, we must go there now!"

"Okay, here's what's gonna happen. I'll go straight towards the hospital. I want you to pick Dinky from school and meet me there."

"Okay." Sparkler utters before dashing in the direction of the schoolhouse. Meanwhile, you sprint through the back door and onto your bicycle. You paddle down the streets with speed you never knew you had, each paddle makes you faster and faster. You actually had you yell so ponies won't get in your way.

You try to sort out the conflicting emotions that spiral in your head. On one hand, you're going to be a father! And you can't help but to be excited about it, but on the other hand, you're going to be a father, and you have no idea how to take care for an infant, even though you know plenty about caring children thanks to Dinky.

You finally see the hospital in sight and double your efforts to get there as fast as you can. You almost fall from your bicycle when you push the brakes, though you balance yourself just in time. You enter the hospital and run towards the counter, where you can see nurse Redheart organizing some files.

She turns around and sees you.

"Follow me," she says before you can utter a single word. You nod and follow as Redheart takes you through the intensive care ward.

Before you can even see the door to Derpy's room you can already hear her cries of pain. You rush past Redheart and towards the source of the noise. You can hear the shouts get louder and louder until you come across the source, just beyond a door to your left.

If you pushed that door any further, it would've fly off its hinges.

You ignore the nurses and doctor and rush straight towards Derpy's side.

"A-Anon!" she cries in alarm.

"Shhh, it's okay Derpy, I'm- hrrrk…"

Before you could finish your sentence, Derpy somehow wraps her foreleg around your throat, bringing you closer to her as she blocks your air supply.

"Anon, you put that thing inside of me! It's your entire fault!" she screams next to your ear.

"Derpy, Babe, relax." You try and free yourself from her clutch to no avail.

A nurse quickly comes to your aid and gently pries Derpy's foreleg off of you while keep telling her to breath.

"Don't take what she says to heart, sir. Mares in labor tend to lash out."

Heh, here's one similarity between human females and mares.

You shake your hand and crouch to Derpy's eye level. You slowly lock eye with each other as your hand brushes away a stray lock from her eyes.

"Anon… I'm scared…" she whispers between huffs and cries of agony.

"Don’t you worry, love. I'm right here." You take a hold of her foreleg and squeeze it gently, assuring your mare-friend that you're by her side.

Derpy lets out a particularly loud shout that forces you to cover your ears. You can see one of the nurses perk up as she looks at her in encouragement "The head is out! Come on, you can do it!"

The process was long and agonizing to watch. You can't help but feel useless doing nothing, nothing but trying to comfort your lover. She cries, she yells, she apologizes and the cycle begins anew.

"Sir?" you feel a nurse nudge you from behind. You turn around but your hand still rests between Derpy's forelegs.

"What?"

"Is it her first labor?" she asks.

"Ah, no. She has two other daughters. One is seventeen and the other is five, why?"

"It seems her labor is proceeding rather quickly than normal. Thankfully, the fact that she delivered foals in the past offsets our concern."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh don't worry. The active labor of a mare who's already delivered a foal in the past usually takes less time."

"Then how long does it take now?"

"Well, according to what I can see…" the nurse flashes a glance towards Derpy's opening "Soon, very soon. The baby is almost out."

You breathe a sigh of relief and tell Derpy the good news. She smiles weakly and gives the final pushes, and with a final cry, the baby came out.

You hear the nurses gasp.

"What! What is it?" you ask frantically.

The nurse closest to you opens her mouth but quickly shuts it.

"You'll discover soon for yourself, sir. Let us first get your baby clean." The head nurse speaks up.

You're about to protest but decide against it. You can feel Derpy's breathing becoming more regular and you glance towards her.

She's half smiling with her eyes almost closed. She looks at you and gives you the most loving smile you've ever seen.

Soon after, a nurse comes with a bundle of sheets cradled safely on her back, but instead of the cheery look you were expecting, all you see in a concerned look.

Derpy takes the bundle into her forelegs and slowly looks down.

She gasps.

At this point, you're beginning to freak out. Why the nurses are looks so concerned? Why is Derpy looks like someone just told her they outlawed muffins?

"Anon… Come look…" she whispers.

You take a gulp and slowly move closer.

You gasp as well.

There, inside the bundle of sheets, lays something you did not expect to see. When you impregnated Derpy, you thought it might be a pony, or even a human, but you didn't see that coming.

It is some sort of hybrid. A human from the waist up, but with two gray hooves instead of legs and a tiny set of wings.

"She's… she's…" you stutter.

"She's beautiful." Derpy completes you.

You stay like that in silence. The nurses and doctor gave you some privacy after cleaning up as you come to know your own daughter, your own flesh and blood. The baby stirs in Derpy's hooves before she opens her eyes. Revealing two golden orbs, much like her mother.

The door to the room slowly opens, revealing Sparkler and Dinky. Both look worried for their mother. Derpy smiles and ushers her daughters to come and meet their new sister. The two fillies gasp in a similar fashion to how you and Derpy reacted and you can't help but chuckle.

After the initial shock is over, the two look more relaxed.

"Awww, she's so cute," Coos Dinky.

"What's her name?" asks Sparkler, looking elated.

You take another glance towards Derpy. She's looking at you back and nods. You nod as well and turn your attention back to your little fillies you learnt to adore so much.

"Muffin… her name is Muffin."

The muffin monster - mini chapter

You stalked through the halls of the castle of doom with Dinky by your side. You both carry your laser pistols that were totally not nerf guns. You come across a flight of stairs and go down, keeping quiet.

"Is the monster down in the dungeon?" Dinky asked in a hushed tone.

"I believe so, but be careful, Dinky. The muffin monster is known to eat little ponies if she can't find any muffins."

"Noted," the little filly replied.

The two of you reach the dungeon and walk past the torturer's kitchen, where the torturer could be seen skimming through the refrigerator.

"Dad I'm hungry."

"Shut up," you say to the torturer as you round a corner.

And there she was, the muffin monster, sleeping on a couch.

"There she is! Shoot her!" You declare as you and Dinky release a torrent of nerf bullets onto the unsuspecting Derpy. The mare jumped in fright as she took to the air, only for you to grab her and pin her to the couch. "Go Dinky, use our secret weapon!"

Immediately Dinky jumps on Derpy and started to tickle to poor mare. Derpy tried to get Dinky off of her, laughing hysterically, but you kept her at bay with your hands.

"It's no use! The muffin monster is too strong, ran daddy!"

You comply and let Derpy go as Dinky and you ran back to your fortress –aka dinky's room- at full speed.

"Anon!" you hear the muffin monster scream behind you.

Let's hope she won't catch you.

Youtube Video

Once every full moon - mini chapter

It was a lazy Saturday morning for you and your family. With a cup of tea in one hand and a newspaper in the other, you let your back fall onto the soft and inviting couch right next to Derpy, who immediately leans against you. Little Muffin is napping peacefully in her cradle next to Derpy, Dinky is laying on the floor, drawing in a coloring book you got her a few days back, and Sparkler is at a friend's house.

"Dad, can I ask you a question?" Dinky asks, looking up from her coloring book at you.

You smirk to yourself and respond, "You just did."

Dinky stares at you, unimpressed. You can almost feel Derpy roll her eyes at you. You chuckle slightly before saying, "What is it, Sweetie?"

"Why are you wearing that dog collar?"

The question takes you by surprise as your eyes bulge out slightly, looking down at the dog collar strapped around your neck, the late night activities with Derpy floating back into your mind.

Speaking of Derpy, her face has gone completely red as she stares at you with equal amounts of shock and embarrassment. You stare right back as the two of you have a silent conversation with your eyes.

Eye translation:

'Why are you still with the collar?! You had to take it off, why didn't you?!'

'Uhh… sorry? We use it almost every night. I must have forgotten.'

'Just do something!'

You sit silently for a few moments before an idea pops into your head. You give Derpy a reassuring smile as you face Dinky.

"Sweetie, your dad uses a dog collar for a very simple reason… for you see, I am… a werewolf!"

Next to you, Derpy smacks her hooves across her face while Dinky's eyes sparkle with fascination and amazement.

"Really?!" Dinky exclaims, getting up on all four and inches closer to you.

You nod. "Oh yes, and your mom is a professional werewolf trainer!"

"Anon stop."

"And she trains me almost every night so I will not go out on a killing spree!"

"Cool!"

"For the love of Celestia Anon, please stop," you hear Derpy mumble under her breath. If her face was red before, it was positively glowing now.

You spare a glance towards Derpy. A smile slowly spreads across your face. You take a sip from your tea as you resume reading your newspaper.

Yep, just another lazy Saturday morning.