PRELUDE: THE OFFICE
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It was nine o’clock, Sunday, when the horse came into my stable. A rainy night. Lots of rainy nights in downtown Manehatten. She was a jittery looking unicorn, with a frown so deep it could’ve deserved the ‘why the long face’ snippet, but it turned out the locals don’t find that joke all that funny. I could make out her basic look through the cloud of smoke coming from my tray; young, spry, creamy white coat with a lavish Baker-Miller pink mane that curled back at the ends, a popular style for the up-and-coming mare those days. But there was a certain dark tint to the air around her, the exhaustion of someone who’s seen a bit too much. The kind of distressed dame a private eye makes a career off of.
I told her to take a seat and leaned back in my own chair. It didn’t surprise me when she turned it down. Very few ponies like to sit in chairs, apparently. Wish someone had told me that before I bought a good twelve of them to fill up my office. She stood off to the side and looked out the window before she started.
“I need help, Detective.”
No shit, I thought. You certainly didn’t trot in here for a lozenge. I kept my thoughts to myself and told her to continue.
“It’s my daughter, Aura. She… she hasn’t been herself, for the last few weeks, and yesterday was the final straw. She passed out, you see, and she keeps mumbling things about monsters and ‘darkness’ and... now she won’t wake up or say anything at all. The doctors say it’s just a medical issue, but… I’m just not so sure. I think it’s something worse.”
I had to admit, the broad had piqued my interest. I hadn’t had a good case in a while, ever since coming to this pastel-colored, straw-riddled hellhole they call ‘Equestria’. Worst crimes that happened here were missing children and misplaced purses, the kinds of cases solved within the hour by walking down to the local toy shop or the lost and found. But what this girl was offering sounded like a real case; the kind I hadn’t seen in years. I couldn’t accept it. Not yet. But I had to know more.
“You got a name, doll?”
She looked right at me, pulling her gaze away from the rain outside. “Twinkleshine.”
Well that’s pretty goddamn gay, I thought.
“What can I call you?” she asked.
I took a long drag and let out a cloud of smoke. “Detective Anonymous. You can also call me Detective, Anon, Inspector, whatever you want, really. Doesn’t matter much to me.” I leaned forward on my desk and tapped the end of my cigar, letting the ashes pour into the tray. “So tell me about this daughter of yours. Aura.”
The mare seemed at a loss for words. To be fair, it was a pretty stupid question, the kind you get in phone interviews and don’t have an answer for because they’re so vague. It was funny to see her so flustered, though. She frowned and bit her lip as she struggled over how to give a proper start.
“Aura is pretty normal, as far as foals go. I mean, until recently, of course. She’s a unicorn, like me. She doesn’t have a father… I haven’t seen him around for years, now, but I’m sure he’s still out there somewhere. Seducing some other lovely mare.” She gave a little hopeless smile. “She gets good grades. Not bad at magic, either. She doesn’t have very many friends, but we just moved here from Ponyville, so I guess that’s to be expected.”
Ponyville. Turned out Twinkleshine was a country girl, then. I had heard stories about Ponyville. Twilight Sparkle’s home. The quiet, unsuspecting hamlet turned out to be far more trouble than anyone expected. Mysteries and dark forces swirled their way around the den of danger by some odd force of attraction, and a piece of that pie had found its way over to Manehatten, just for me. I admit, I wanted to take a bite. And not just because the delightfully tasty dish named Twinkleshine that was standing in front of me, either. And that’s why I took the case.
“Thank you!” The mare tried to come behind the desk to give me a hug, but my desk was pushed up against the wall to stop that from happening. The horses like to do a lot of hugging, which I was never particularly fond of. She backed off when I cleared my throat. “So where should we start, Anon?”
I took another drag from my cigar and thought about it for a bit. “First, I’d like to see your daughter. In the hospital, if that’s where she is. And then I want to peek around her room, maybe, or ask around her school. If something’s wrong with your girl, we’ll find out what it is.”
She gave a little nod, obviously eager to start. More eager than I was. This foal was important to her, I could tell. I suppose it was fate, or maybe just luck, that brought us together that night, for what would be the first of seven days of mystery, danger, and insanity. I never was a fan of the epics they used to tell back home or even the ones they tell here, but the moment I accepted that case, I found myself right in the middle of one. As I’m sitting here at my typewriter, cigar in hand and a shot of whiskey on my desk, I wish I could tell you how this story ends. But it isn’t that simple. If you’re going to know how it ended, you have to know how the whole thing went down. All seven days. So that’s why we’re starting from the beginning.
This is Detective Anonymous, private eye located in downtown Manehatten. I’m writing this letter straight to Princess Celestia, because she figures she has the right to know about what almost destroyed her entire kingdom. I guess that’s sorta fair. I’m going to admit I did some things that wouldn’t exactly be considered “legal” by the royal guard, but I think considering the circumstances you’ll all agree I did what I had to do. Or maybe you’ve all got your heads up your asses, I don’t know. What’s done is done. I’m just going to tell you how it happened. Starting with the first day, of course.
Seven Days Until Darkness
An Anonymous Detective’s Tale
