Chapters I am not a normal colt. I’m not a bad colt, I hope. I’m just not a normal colt, I don’t know why. I just feel it, it’s a fact that I can’t find any reason for. I’ve talked to my friends about it and one of them told me no one is normal, and I guess that’s true. But there are certain things in society that are considered normal and acceptable, so there must be an idea of normal. At least that’s what I reason, I’m still not fully convinced in it myself.
Which is good, for some reason I get this tight knot in my stomach if I think about it for too long. If I think about how I’m not normal. It’s not bad, right? Being abnormal, being weird. My friends aren’t normal either, but they’re great fillies. None of us have our cutie marks, and that makes us abnormal. But I can’t help but feel it’s something else, something personal. I’ve talked to my friends about it, but they don’t know how to help. So we go crusading and I take my mind off of it.
Oh, did I mention we have our own group? The Cutie Mark Crusaders. We do lots of different things in an attempt to get our cutie marks. I only became a member recently, and I’ve loved being a part of it since. I’ve been friends with the other three for longer though, they were the first ponies I became friends with since I moved to Ponyville with my family. Actually, they’re the only ponies I’ve become friends with.
They were as surprised as I was that there were other ponies without cutie marks, and we quickly became good friends. It wasn’t till two months after we first met that Scootaloo finally agreed that I could join their club, I was ecstatic. It’s been a month since then, and I’ve loved crusading with them. So now it’s the four of us crusaders. Applebloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and me.
Oh, did I not mention my name? Dang it, that was Important. My name Is Star Soar. It’s not a flashy name or one that will stand out, it’s just a name. Two words with four letters each. An even name for an odd pony, ironic isn’t it? I sit here pondering these things absently, because I’m a weird pony that likes to think his life could be some grand story some day. I guess that’s what comes when your mother is a well known novelist.
I haven’t even bothered to get out of bed yet, it’s too early. I can sleep in as long as I want because it’s a weekend, but the second I get up I’ll have to do something. And I honestly don’t want to do anything right now, not yet at least. I know that the crusaders won’t be getting together to crusade today. Really, the only two that are free today is me and Sweetie Belle. Her sister is out for the day, I don’t recall why.
Applebloom and Scootaloo went with Applejack and Rainbow Dash, respectively. They went for a day to Appaloosa and Cloudsdale, they’ll be back early tomorrow morning. I was invited to go to Cloudsdale, but I’m much more content staying here in Ponyville. I’ll head down to Sweetie Belle’s to play, I don’t really want to stick around here. My house is fine, I just don’t want to deal with what’ll happen if I stay home. My dad will insist I come out to help him in the shop, or something similarly trivial.
He insists that I need to spend more time learning a stallions work, but a stallions work just happens to be a lot of things that I don’t really like doing. I’m okay at some of the things, I just don’t enjoy it. I will admit that some of the things are important, like weather production. He even taught me to fly, and now I’m almost the best flier in the class! Not that fast, but I can maneuver well. But not that long ago I could hardly glide, much less fly. I feel a great amount of sympathy for my friend Scootaloo, who just can’t seem to get the hang of flying. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to help her. I’m glad that she’s finally getting tutored by the best flyer in Equestria, unfortunately she hasn’t progressed much.
I push the dilemma out of my mind and push myself out of bed. I look around my room idly, wondering if I should take anything. I shouldn’t need any bits for anything, so I just leave them be. I wander downstairs and past my mothers study, I can see her levitating her quill just above her paper in thought. That’s another reason my father taught me to fly, my moms a unicorn. A very talented unicorn whom I love very much, she always had a way with words. A way of calming me down, or changing my mind when I was being unreasonable. She was a very strong-willed mare who I admire, I look up to and love her. She’s my mom after all.
I pass by the work-room and hear a symphony of clanging and grunting as my dad worked inside, probably perfecting his latest project. He was always going about and making things, he was very good with his hooves. He is also very strong and tough from his time in the guard. He’s a macho stallion, and sometimes I fear that I’m not living up to his expectations. He assures me that I’m doing fine, but I’m not so sure. Sometimes I get the feeling he’s not as proud as he claims to be, almost like I’m less than adequate.
I sigh and continue to the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast and go out to Sweetie’s house. I just pour a bowl of cereal and a glass of apple juice. I sip the juice contentedly, It’s made from Sweet Apple Acres apples. I finish my breakfast hurriedly and run to my mothers study to tell her where I‘m going.
“Hey mom, I’m gonna go hang with Sweetie Belle,” I tell her from just outside the studio. She sighs at the paper in front of her and looks over to me with a smile.
“That’s fine dear, you have fun,” She says.
“Writers block?” I ask her. She sighs and glances back at the blank paper in front of her.
“Yeah, but don’t worry about it. I just need a little bit of inspiration, I’m sure it’ll come to me” I smile and nod before leaving the study and then the house. I set course for Sweetie Belles house.
I’m looking around at the ponies around me when I notice something strange. All the ponies with friends are the same gender, strangely enough. All the mares hang out with other mares, All the stallions hang out with other stallions. The sole exception to this rule was the occasional couple, but they were usually alone. I think on this, I hang out with fillies, not colts. I could never stand the colts, they were just boring and kind of jerkish. I only have three friends, they’re all fillies. Is that what makes me differ from normal ponies?
No, that can’t be it. It’s just my friends. It must be a coincidence, having friends doesn’t make you not normal. If anything, not having friends makes you not normal. I brush the thoughts aside. Besides, we do the same things as other colts. We play sports, sometimes. I was never good at them, but Scootaloo was pretty good. It just wasn’t the same though, playing it with fillies and colts was different. The colts just weren’t as fun, I never felt like I belonged playing with other colts.
I push the thoughts away as I continue to Sweetie Belles, They’ll just make me all depressed. I want to have fun when I get to Sweetie Belles, not bring down the mood. I ignore everypony else and focus on getting to Sweetie Belles house. I arrive at the front door and knock, Sweetie Belle answers.
“Hey Star! I wasn’t expecting you to come over,” Sweetie greets enthusiastically.
“Yeah, I didn’t have anything to do. Bloom and Scoots are gone, so I was wondering if we could hang out?” I asks tentatively.
“Oh, yeah sure! Just let me take care of some things, then we can do something.” Sweetie motions for me to come in, so I do. Sweetie has a chest open and some fabrics strewn across the room. I look in the chest and find some clothes and more fabric.
“What are you doing with all this fabric?” I ask curiously.
“Oh, that? I’m practicing my sewing, Rarity’s been teaching me to sew properly. I’ve been trying my hoof at various types of clothes,” Sweetie rummages through the pile for a while in search of something. Finally she pulls it out and smiles, “Look! I made this for you!” It’s a nice looking vest, the color matched my golden mane. It was also accented in a bright yellow color a hint lighter than his mane. He put it on over his light gray coat and looks into a mirror.
The vest looked brilliant, it complimented my color scheme perfectly. I'm sure that it looks great, just on somepony else. It just doesn’t feel right, it wasn’t meant for me. Sweetie Belle must have seen this on my face, because she grows nervous.
“Do you not like it? Is it ugly? Do you not like the color? Is it uncomfortable?” Sweetie asks, distraught.
“No, it’s great. The colors are nice and it feels okay, it just… isn’t me. Sorry, it’s nothing against you. It just doesn’t feel right.” I tell her apologetically.
“Oh, well… I have a couple other outfits. You can rummage through that pile and see if anything calls out to you,” Sweetie Belle says.
I look once more into the mirror and see my striking gold eyes and hair along with my light grey coat, complimented by the vest. But when I see that it just seems wrong, despite how right it should look. I take off the vest and look through the pile of clothes, there’s a lot of dresses. One piece of clothing in particular catches my eye and I drag it out. It’s the same gold as the vest, but there’s pink in the design as well. Actually, it’s a magenta color that surprisingly goes well with the pink. There’s a mix of complication and simplicity in the design that makes it eye catching and extravagant. I hold it out.
“That’s a dress,” Sweetie says. “You’re a colt, colts don’t wear dresses.” Sweetie affirms.
“R-right,” I nod sheepishly and set the dress down. I look at it longingly however, then I turn back to the pile. Nothing else catches my fancy, but I do look at the dress again. Sweetie sees my wandering look, and I look away.
“I… I won’t tell anypony if you want to try it on,” Sweetie Belle says in a low voice. I look at her in shock and she smiles at me nervously.
“R-really?” I ask in almost a whisper, Sweetie nods. I pick up the dress enthusiastically and slip it over my body, there’s conveniently holes for the wings. I look into the mirror and gasp, The dress is beautiful. It was the perfect size for me and It felt great. I really looked like a filly wearing it, and that was really shocking. But not a bad type of shock, but a good type of shock. It felt... right, unlike the vest.
“Wow, you look… good, in that.” Sweetie admires her work on the dress.
“T-Thank you,” I say sheepishly, her comment made me really happy. It made me want to try on more. “M-May I try on more?” I ask her nervously. I’m a colt, I shouldn’t like dresses. Yet, it felt so right to be in that dress. She blinks in surprise, but then she smiles.
“Sure, let me pull out the runway!” I look at Sweetie Belle in surprise, she was quick to help me. I smiled and slipped out of the dress, moving to the chest to look at more. I find a couple more dresses and grab them. Sweetie belle sets up Rarity’s runway and a camera, I slip into a dressing room and put on the first dress. When I step out Sweetie Belle has put up the stage and is behind the camera, I look at her nervously.
“Do we have to use a camera?” I ask tentatively.
“I want you to see what you look like too! We can burn the pictures afterwards for all I care, but I want you to see too!” Sweetie says enthusiastically. I step up tentatively onto the stage and strike a pose. *Flash*. I strike a couple more poses and I get more comfortable with the camera. *Flash*. I start to be more confident and my only thoughts are on the posing. I’m caught up in it all as I try on multiple other dresses, all of them beautiful. *Flash*. I look over to Sweetie Belle and smile at her, she smiles back. *Flash*. I look like a filly, and now I’m acting like a filly.*Flash*. I love modeling!
It gives me that escape that I want! I’m so happy, I could model like this for the rest of my life. I look over at Sweetie Belle and the camera in a beautiful pose. *Flash*. I stop in confusion, I had been looking at the camera and it hadn’t flashed. Sweetie’s looking at the camera in confusion, but then she looks at me and gasps.
“Star! Your eyes!” She exclaims. I run back to the dressing room to look in the mirror, my eyes are a bright magenta. I look in confusion at my eyes, eyes don’t just change color. They were clearly a bright gold, not magenta. But here I am, looking at magenta eyes. I slip out of the dress and return to Sweetie Belle, slightly worried.
“My eyes are pink! What happened? What do I do?!” I cry out to her, she’s looking at me worried as well.
“I don’t know! One minute you’re on the stage, posing. The next your eyes are pink! I don’t know ho-” Sweetie stops and her eyes go wide. She’s staring at my flank, I turn around slowly and look. There, on my flank is a cutie mark. It’s a pink circle with a cross and a very loose yellow cloth wrapped around it. My heart soars at the fact that I have my cutie mark, then I realize it. I have my cutie mark.
My heart lurches as This fact sinks in and I have to sit down. That’s what that flash must have been, my cutie mark. I know that circle with a cross, I know what it means. Mother had it on the cover of one of her books, she told me. It’s the symbol for mares and filly’s, the symbol of a female. My talent is modeling, as a filly. This is wrong, I’m a colt. Aren’t I?
“Star! You have your cutie mark! You have your cutie mark! That’s great!” Sweetie’s joy is apparent, then she sees that I’m not nearly as happy. “Star? What’s wrong? You got your mark, aren’t you happy?” Sweetie Belle asks concerned.
“No, I’m a freak… Colts aren’t supposed to wear dresses…” I spit venomously.
“Well, it happened while you were modeling… maybe you don’t have to model dresses.” Sweetie says hopefully. I just shake my head bitterly.
“No, Sweetie. Do you see this sign?” I point a hoof at the symbol inside the spiral cloth.
“Yeah, what does it mean?” Sweetie asks.
“It means female, mare, filly… not a colt…” I blink back tears as I imagine rejection and hatred. Everypony will be disgusted at me, because it’s not natural. I’m not a normal colt, I’m a freak. How am I ever going to live up to my fathers standards if I’m this way? I can feel tears starting to fall and I wipe a hoof across my eyes in a futile attempt to dry them away. What started out as a great day quickly turned to the end of my life. Sweetie Belle is looking at me in concern, not quite sure what to do.
“Star…” Sweetie says softly.
“I’m a freak Sweetie Belle, this cutie mark is proof of that. I liked modeling in those dresses, I liked doing all those things even if I knew that they were wrong. I wanted to continue it, to continue acting like a filly. Maybe I even wanted to be a filly,” I cry openly. Sweetie yanks me up and holds me by the shoulders.
“Star, I want you to listen. You’re no freak, you’re one of my best friends. Me, you, Bloom, and Scoots. We’re all in this together. You should be able to do what you want, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If it’s what you want, it must be right. A cutie mark is never wrong!” Sweetie says sternly, then she wraps her hooves around me.
“E-Even if I want to be a f-filly?” I ask in shock.
“Even if you want to be a filly.” Sweetie assures me. I smile sadly and hug her back, maybe I am making too big a deal about this. If it’s my destiny, it must be right. No one can deny me my destiny. Maybe everyone else would be as accepting as Sweetie Belle?
“T-Thanks Sweetie Belle,” I sniff and pull away from her hug.
“Anytime, so… do you want to model some more?” Sweetie asks.
“I gotta figure out how I’m going to tell everyone…” I say quietly.
“I can go with you when you tell your parents,” Sweetie offers.
“I… I think that I should do this by myself…” I tell her.
“Ok, I’ll be here if you need anything. Anything at all,” We smile and hug once more before I leave the boutique and head home. I stick to the side streets and try to stay out of people’s way, I manage to get home without much attention at all. A few passing glances from ponies streets down, but no one ever looked long enough to notice anything different. I enter the door quietly and walk slowly through the halls and come to the study.
I look in and see my mother leaning her head back and looking at the ceiling in boredom, more than likely still caught up in her writers block. I sigh as I think on how I’m gonna tell them. I’m about to walk away when my mother speaks.
“Oh, Star, I didn’t see you there.” My mother calls out. I turn with my eyes closed back to the doorway. I open them and my mother gasps. “What’s happened to your eyes? They’re bright pink!” she exclaims in shock.
“It’s magenta, mom.” I shake nervously.
“They were gold, how are they magenta now? Did you get contacts?” She asks in confusion.
“N-No mom, that’s their color now…” I say.
“Why did you change them? I thought your other eyes were nice.” Mother asks curiously.
“I did too. Mom? Do you love me?” I ask, thinking of a way to start explaining.
“Of course! I love you more than anything!” My Mom says in shock.
“Would you love me even if I was a freak?” I ask, my body growing cold. Anxiety wa gripping at me from all sides.
“Well, yes. But you’re not a freak, you’re my son,” My Mom tells me.
“What if I am a freak and not your son?” I ask, fear starting to take hold of my thoughts.
“That’s not possible. You’ll always be my son. Even after you grow up, I’ll still cherish you as my son,” My mom smiles so sweetly, it makes me sick to my stomach. She honestly thinks that, but it’s not really true. I’m hardly her son, much less a colt. I’m more filly than anything, that’s clear to me now.
“I-I g-got my cutie m-mark,” I tell her, my voice quivering as she beams.
“That’s wonderful darling! I’m so proud of you! I knew you’d find what you’re good at! What is it? Let me see.” My Mom is so excited, yet I cower in fear, my back end being hidden just outside the door frame this whole time. Mom sees my fear and takes a step forward. “Star, are you alright?” She asks in concern.
“I-I’m sorry…” I can just tell that she’ll be disappointed in me, she’ll hate me. She’ll disown me, a thousand ways that this can go bad go through my head.
“Sorry for what?” My mom looks at me in concern and slight confusion. Then one more scenario goes through my head, what if it doesn’t go bad? What if she’s accepting and loves me just as much, if not more? This one thought battles the other thousand, it gives me the courage to proceed.
“Mom, I got my cutie mark in modeling,” I answer with a little more conviction.
“Modeling? Oh, that’s different. But, as long as you’re hap-” I cut her off.
“As a filly…” I add in a low voice.
“...What?” My Mom asks, reaching a hoof up to her ear as if to clear it out.
“I’m talented in modeling as a filly,” I repeat, louder. My mother looks at me with her eyes wide, she sits down abruptly on the floor.I move further into the room and sit so she can see my mark. I lower my head and look at the floor, fear gripping me. I’ve said it, now it’s judgement time. After a couple of seconds, I know she must be angry. Tears well in my eyes for a second time that day as anxiety shakes me.
“You… Filly…” My Mom mumbles for a while before she comes out of her stupor enough to ask one question. “How?” I look up with tears in my eyes to see her still looking at me in shock.
“I went over to Sweetie Belles house and she was putting away some clothes that she made. She made me a vest, but it didn’t feel right. She let me look through her other clothes, and I found this one dress. A beautiful yellow and magenta dress! It was gorgeous, and I…” I gulp down a sob as it threatens to fight it’s way out. “I tried it on, it felt… right. She let me try on more and more dresses, and each one felt more and more right. I walked on a runway, I posed, I had fun. I was happy! then… then I got my cutie mark, and my eyes changed colors…” I manage to finish without sobbing, but tears are streaming down my face. As soon as I’m down I sob with my head lowered.
My mom stays quiet for a few minutes, but then I feel a hoof on my back. “Sh…” She soothes, she strokes my back and I stop my sobbing and look up at her. She has an indecisive look on her face, like she doesn’t know what to think. But she knows that I’m sad, and she doesn’t want me to be sad. I wrap my hooves around her and she continues to stroke my back, still trying to stop my sobbing. I stop sobbing and wipe my tears, I pull back a little and look up at her. She’s looking down at me with concern, I look away.
“Do you hate me?” I ask, sniffing a little.
“No, I’m just… confused. I don’t understand yet, not completely.” My mother lifts my chin and looks me in the eyes with the most caring look. “But I’d like to,” My Mother smiles and I perk up a little as well, she pulls me close to her once more and we stay there for quite some time. Then we pull apart and I have a bit more of a smile, this went so much better than it could have.
“Have you told your father?” Mom asks, I shake my head solemnly.
“Why don’t you go tell him, I’ll get started on dinner,” I nod and exit the study. I enter the work room and walk up to my father. He’s engulfed in his work, so I tap him on the shoulder. He looks down at me and moves away from the work station.
“What in Celestia’s name happened to your eyes?!” He asks in exclamation.
“They changed when I got my cutie mark…” I say lowly. I’m still a little afraid, but not as much as before.
“You got your cutie mark? That’s great! What is it?” He asks cheerfully, a wide grin across his face. I straighten up a little, He’s happy for me. He’s proud, I don’t know why I was scared to tell them. Everything’s going great!
“Modeling, as a filly,” I say, I await his reaction with a hopeful face. He looks shocked, just like mom. Of course he’s going to react like mom, it’s new to both of them. I’m waiting calmly when I feel the hoof hit the side of my face, I don’t know how to react. I hit the floor and look up at my father, he’s angry. He’s more than angry, he’s furious. Looks like I counted my blessings too early. A term my mom taught me once comes to mind, Marephy’s law. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Things just went wrong.
“Get out of here! I don’t know who you are!” He yells, I cower as the side of my head throbs.
“B-But I’m your son,” I whimper.
“I have a son, not a freak,” He replies bitterly. Another hoof catches the same side of my face as the first and I yelp in pain. I look at him fearfully, his eye’s are sharp as daggers and his grimace deep. He raises another hoof, but I turn and gallop away. Away from the hate, away from him. I dash through the halls and to the front door. I dash past the kitchen and hear my mother call out for me in surprise, but I don’t stop. I continue to run, and heads turn to look at the colt running through the streets.
I take to the sky and fly over houses until my muscles scream at me to stop, I slow and land. I look around, I’m far from home. I got what I needed, escape. What now? My thoughts drift to Sweetie Belle, she’ll be able to help me. I walk slowly in the direction of Carousel Boutique, the side of my head is starting to really hurt. I arrive and knock on the door. Sweetie Belle gasps as the door opens.
“Star?! What happened to your head?!” Sweetie exclaims, looking at the spot Star’s father had pummeled.
“I don’t want to talk about it…” I look away. “Can… Can I stay the night, Sweetie?” Her eyes go wide at that.
“Stay the night? You don’t mean…” I just solemnly nod in answer. Sweetie looks in two minds about it, but she nods. “Come on in,” She ushers me in and I walk in thankfully.
“Thanks…” I whisper my thanks and move to the couch.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Sweetie asks, I just shrug. I don’t feel that sad anymore, just empty. If my parents don’t accept me, then what point is there? Though that’s not entirely true, Mom was trying to understand, trying to accept me. It was only my father that wasn’t accepting, he confirmed all my fears. I am a freak, and others think so too.
“What happened?” Sweetie Belle asks softly.
“I told Mom, she seemed confused but willing to accept me… My Dad, he called me a freak and socked me in the head twice… have I mentioned how strong and coordinated he is? Well, he is, and it hurts… He ran me out of the house, I’m not welcome there anymore,” I deadpan, Sweetie Belle is looking at me shocked.
“That’s terrible! I’m so sorry… I should’ve been there-” I cut Sweetie off.
“Why, so he could hit you too? Face it Sweetie, I deserved it. I’m a disappointment…” I hang my head, Sweetie looks completely crestfallen. She moves over to me and wraps a hoof around me, to comfort me. I don’t move, I just sit and stare at the couch cushion. Hoping I can just fade into the background, disappear forever.
“Star, you’re welcome to stay as long as you need to. Why don’t you take my bed, you look like you need some rest,” Sweetie suggests, I nod slowly.
“Thank you so much Sweetie Belle, you’re the best,” I hug her tightly.
“Hey, we crusaders have to look out for eachother,” as Sweetie says that I realize something.
“But… I can’t be a crusader. I have my cutie mark,” I would cry, but I’m plumb out of tears.
“Once a crusader, always a crusader. Even if you’ve got your cutie mark, your still always welcome with us,” Sweetie assures, I smile a little at the sentiment and sidle up the stairs to Sweeties room. I lay down on her bed and curl up into a ball. Sleep is gracious and comes quickly.
Sweetie looks at the stairs in concern, Star was obviously very distraught. He had reason to be, his father had abandoned him in his time of need. Sweetie just couldn't imagine it, how could a father do something like that. Her father wasn't around all that much, but he was there when she needed him. But to physically hit him, Sweetie shuddered at the thought. Sweetie sits and thinks on all that's happened. It had been an eventful day, an emotional rollercoaster as Rarity would like to call it. She had been surprised at Star's modeling, but she was supporting all the way. It had never really occurred to her that it was weird or even wrong, it was what Star wanted right?
Sweetie had been taught at a young age that whatever you wanted was alright, as long as it wasn't illegal or harmful. Was dressing as a filly when you're a colt illegal, or harmful? She didn't think so. But if it wasn't, then why had Star's father been so disapproving? It wasn't normal, but what even was normal? Normal wasn't ever the only thing to do, and most of the time it wasn't even the right thing to do. But is it still the thing you should do? No, being weird is okay. Then why was what Star wanted so wrong?
Sweetie Belle is snapped out of her thoughts by a door opening, she turns to find Rarity walking in.
"Sweetie Belle, how was your day?" Rarity asks cheerily.
"It WAS pretty great, but it just got really crummy," Sweetie Belle answers sadly. Rarity's over to her in a second, worried over Sweeties dour mood.
"Sweetie, darling, what's wrong?" Rarity soothes.
"It's not me, it's my friend..." Sweetie sighs, Rarity sits down next to her.
“Well, Applebloom and Scoots are gone for the night, so I'm going to assume you mean Star?" Rarity guesses.
"Well, then you'd be right," Sweetie answers dejectedly.
"What's happened with Star?" Rarity asks gently.
"Well, he came over earlier today, around noon. He wanted to hang, and I said sure. But I had been practicing my sowing, so I had to put my stuff away. He asked about it, and I told him how you were teaching me. I gave him a vest I had made him, he didn't take to it..." Sweetie Belle says recalling their conversation.
"Did he insult your works? Why I oughta-" Rarity is cut off by Sweetie Belle.
"No, he didn't. Listen, I'm telling the story." Sweetie Belle huffs.
"So sorry. Please, continue." Rarity smiles nervously.
"Thank you. Anyway, he didn't take to it. It wasn't that he didn't like it, he loved it. He just said it wasn't him," Sweetie belle continues.
"Some stallions just aren't into fashion Sweetie," Rarity says.
"Let me finish!" Sweetie Belle snaps.
"Sorry..." Rarity says sheepishly.
"Anyways, I told him I had some other outfits that he might like. He looked through the clothes, and he did find something he liked. But..." Sweetie Belle pauses, realizing what she is about to say. The last person Star told beat him, who knows how others might react?
"But?" Rarity asks.
"Can I trust you to keep it a secret? Promise me. Pinkie promise me." Sweetie Belle demands.
"Sweetie, I hardly think I need to-" Rarity starts.
"Promise me! And promise me you won't overreact or make a big deal out of it!" Sweetie snaps.
"Okay, okay. I promise. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." Rarity goes through the motions and Sweetie smiles.
"Okay, what Star chose was a dress. I told him that dresses for fillies and he looked embarrassed. I saw him looking at it though, so I told him it was okay if he wanted to try it on. He did, and he loved it. Then I pulled out your runway, sorry, and I snapped some pictures of him in various dresses. He looked like he was having fun, though he really looked like a filly. He was posing and everything, and he had a bright smile the whole time. Then, he did it. He got his cutie mark, by modeling like a filly." Sweetie Belle continues, Rarity's face was frozen in shock.
"At first I didn't understand completely what that meant, but I was happy for him. He got his cutie mark! I was confused when I realized he was sad, and he started saying a lot of things about him being a freak. I calmed him down, and he seemed to be okay with it. Then he left for his house, to tell his family. I realized he hadn't told me what to do with the pictures, so I burned them like I had promised him I would if he asked me to. He didn't ask me to, but it seemed like the right thing to do." Rarity has closed her mouth by now, but it's obvious that a thousand questions were buzzing through her mind.
"He came by a little while ago with tear streaks on his face, he was clearly upset. I told him he could stay for as long as he needed to, he's upstairs sleeping now." Sweetie concludes. Rarity snaps out of her stupor at that.
"Sweetie Belle, I didn't say you could have friends over. I really wish you would have consulted me first!" Rarity latches on the first thought that pops up, it's her only hope of clarity in her cluttered mind. Sweetie Belle doesn't take it nicely though.
"I used your stage and matches without permission and that's what you're going to harp me for? He was chased out of his home after being beaten by his father! He had nowhere to go! What type of friend would I be if I just left him on the street!" Sweetie Belle fumes.
"I'm sorry Sweetie, I can't exactly think straight... of course you'd be generous, you're my sister." Rarity smiles weakly at Sweetie Belle.
"I wasn't trying to be generous, I was trying to help my friend." Sweetie grumbles.
"And that was very generous and kind of you," Rarity replies sweetly, still trying to wrap her head around the situation.
"Is it wrong?" Sweetie Belle asks.
"What?" Rarity asks, returning her attention to Sweetie Belle.
"Him dressing like a filly, does it make him a freak? He said he was one, his father said he was one. I didn't think so, but..." Sweetie Belle trails off.
"Sweetie, I need you to understand something. Some ponies are born differently. Star is one pony like this, it makes him special. It's not wrong, but some ponies don't accept these different ponies. These ponies are called bigots," Rarity explains.
"I think I remember something about those, they don't like Misses Lyra or Misses Bonbon either right?" Sweetie Belle asks.
"Right," Rarity answers awkwardly.
"Why? Is it because they like to dress like colts? Are they colts?" Sweetie asks in confusion.
"No, there are different kinds of special. Star's case is just one of them. Some ponies don't like Lyra and Bonbon because they love each other." Rarity tries to explain.
"What? Why? They're a cute couple, why would anypony not want them together." Sweetie Belle asks in confusion.
"It's because they're both girls. While same sex marriage is legal, its not supported by a lot of ponies. Ponies that love the same gender are often ostracized and sometimes assaulted," Rarity answers with a sigh, struggling to explain how the world they live in isn't as accepting as some may think.
"That's terrible! Shouldn't a pony be able to marry who they want to marry?" Sweetie Belle asks in shock.
"I agree, they should. But that isn't how a lot of ponies think..." Rarity answers. Sweetie Belle realizes something, something frightening.
"Rarity, you only look at stallions. If I were to marry a mare, would you be disappointed in me? Would you hate me?" Sweetie Belle asks softly, Rarity's eyes widen and she grabs Sweetie belle by the shoulders.
"Sweetie Belle, you listen and you listen good. You're my sister, I love you unconditionally. I will accept you for whoever you love and whoever you want to be. Whether you choose to love mares or choose to dress like a colt, I will wholeheartedly support you every step of the way." Rarity pulls Sweetie Belle close.
"Thanks sis. I just wish Star had parents as accepting as you," Sweetie Belle sighs sadly.
"I do too, Sweetie. But we'll be there for him, won't we. I'm sure the other girls will help Star as well," Sweetie just nods.
"Rarity... Star mentioned something about wanting to be a filly... is it possible that he could be one?" Sweetie asks innocently.
"I'm not sure Sweetie Belle... I imagine that you'd have to ask Twilight that. But, if Star is the way I think he is, he's technically already a filly. If he wants to be that is. Maybe not physically, but in all the ways that would count. With some help of course," Rarity looks down at Sweetie Belle with a twinkle in her eye. "Are you willing to help him?" Rarity asks.
"I'd do anything to help star!" Sweetie says determinedly.
"Okay then... hmm... you said his cutie mark was in modeling?" Rarity asks.
"Yes, as a filly he had specified." Sweetie answers.
"I may know just the thing to help him..." Rarity smiles the same smile she gets anytime inspiration hits her. Sweetie looks happily at Rarity, glad that her sister is willing to help one of her best friends.
~~~~~~~
Stable Script was usually a calm mare, managing some semblance of calm in some of the most stressful situations possible. It helped for her status as somewhat of a celebrity, especially in a small town such as Ponyville. It was surprising how many ponies read her books, and how many absolutely loved them. She was constantly praised for her works, but it had died down somewhat in the last two months. But her calm demeanor helped her deal with her more enthusiastic fans.
But, being calm doesn't help you with surprises. A surprise big enough could rock your world no matter how calm, and she had just had two. One was that her colt was a crossdresser. The other had come shortly after when she learned that her husband had chased their son out the door, after their son came out as a crossdresser. Now she's running frantically across Ponyville in search for her more than likely scared son, to fix what had happened between him and his father. She hadn't spoken long to her husband, but he seemed fixed on his way.
Stable tried to think of where Star could have gone anywhere he might go. Her thoughts drift to the clubhouse Star was always talking about, but then she sees Carousel Boutique. Sweetie Belles place, he might have gone to seek solace in his friend that was there with him when it happened. Stable runs to the store and pounds on the door, a curious Rarity opens the door. However, Rarities face seems to drop to disappointment at the sight of her.
"Have you seen my son?" Stable asks pleadingly.
"Why?" Rarity asks questioningly, almost accusingly.
"Because I have to solve some family problems, and protect my son." Stable says defensively. Rarity looks her over once and smiles slightly at the mare.
"He's fine, I've been told he's sleeping in Sweetie's bed. Sweetie is sleeping in the guest room. He might be a little tender to the topic and very tired after such an... eventful day. I promise to make sure he's safe, and take care of him. However, I must refuse to let him near your husband until I'm sure he has more control. I've been informed of Star Soar's injuries, and I simply can't put him in danger." Rarity informs her.
"Injuries? Is he hurt?!" Stable asks in surprise.
"Apparently your husband did a number on him, but I checked it and it doesn't look too bad. Nothing some recovery time won't fix." Rarity replies, Stable gasps.
"You're saying my husband did it?" Stable asks meekly.
"That's what Star has told us," Rarity affirms. "I'm sorry Stable, but it's for the best that he stays away from the house until Mr. Soar has calmed down some. If he shows a little more understanding, I'll let you take him back, but not until then. Surely you understand?" Rarity asks sympathetically.
"I understand..." she hangs her head, it's for the best. "Can I come by tomorrow to talk to him?" Stable asks meekly.
"Please do, I know he'll want to talk to you. I'm sure he'll want to hang out with his friends early though, so come by in the evening." Rarity answers earnestly.
"Thank you, Rarity. I can't thank you enough for looking after him," Stable gushes thanks, Rarity just nods.
"It's nothing darling, and really you should be thanking Sweetie Belle. I have hardly done anything," Rarity says modestly.
"I'll be sure to do just that," Stable nods, " I'll see you tomorrow then, Rarity." Rarity nods in return.
"You have a pleasant night, Mrs. Script," Rarity tells her.
"Thank you, you too." Secretly, Stable is whispering the words I'll try in her head.
~~~~~~~
I open my eyes to find I'm in a room that's not my own, I panic for a second before I remember where I am. I'm in Sweetie Belles room, she invited me over after I was chased out of my own. I snuggle deeper into the sheets until I remember another bit of information, Scootaloo and Applebloom should be back by now. I look over at the clock and realize that it's earlier than I thought it was, but Scootaloo and Applebloom should still be back in Ponyville. Since they got here early, they should still be up, I doubt they'd go to bed. They do know that we usually sleep in, so their probably waiting patiently in the clubhouse for an appropriate time to come by.
I hop out of bed with a spring in my step and a bright smile, my thoughts are on my friends. I hop into the kitchen and I see Rarity. I freeze at this, I hadn't even bothered telling her I was staying over. She'll probably be upset with me and- my thoughts are cut short as Rarity smiles and greets me.
"Morning, Star Soar, have a nice sleep?" Rarity asks.
"Um, yes. Did Sweetie tell you?" I ask tentatively.
"That's a loaded question," Rarity points out, "but yes, she told me a fair amount of things. I want you to know that me and her support you fully, no matter what. Isn't that right, Sweetie?" I turn to find Sweetie Belle in the doorway, beaming a giant smile at me.
"That's right!" Sweetie Belle cheers, walking into the room.
"Thank you," I manage to say, shocked by the acceptance from not one, but two ponies at once.
"Think nothing of it darling. Now hurry up and eat so you two can go see your friends," Rarity finishes off her meal and sets her dishes in the sink. Sweetie gets two bowls for us and pours us each some cereal, my thoughts drift to Applebloom and Scootaloo. Will they think I'm weird? Will they treat me as a freak? Or will they simply ignore me now that I have my cutie mark? I know Sweetie Belle said I was always welcome, but she doesn't really have a big effect on club decisions. The only reason it took so long for me to get into the club in the first place was that Scootaloo wasn't sure letting a colt into the club was a good idea. So obviously Scootaloo has more of a decision than the others.
We finish up our breakfast and head out the door as fast as we can. I urge Sweetie to stick to the side streets as much as we can, Sweetie graciously complies. It takes a bit longer, but we eventually arrive at the clubhouse. I pause at the bottom of the clubhouse, fear instantly looming over me.
“Hey, it’ll be okay. We’re your friends, we’ll be here for you. Besides, we know that three out of four people accept you. Those are already some pretty good odds,” Sweetie says encouragingly.
“Looks like someone has been paying more attention in math class,” I smile nervously and Sweetie smiles back. I gulp down my fear and follow Sweetie Belle into the clubhouse.
“Hey girls, we’re here,” Sweetie announces as we step in.
“Finally, took you two long enough to wake up!” Scootaloo groans, not bothering to turn around and look at them.
“What the hay happened to your eyes Star?” Applebloom asks, I look over to her in nervousness. Sweetie Belle is sitting in just the right spot to block my cutie mark from view.
“They changed when I got my cutie mark,” I say in a near whisper. Apple Blooms eyes go wide.
“You got your cutie mark?! That’s great! What is it? let me see!” Applebloom is jumping around in an excited manner, Scootaloo turns around at this and looks at me in shock.
“That’s so cool! I wish I was here for that! What is it?” Scootaloo’s wings are buzzing in excitement. I smile nervously and step to where they can see my cutie mark. They both look puzzled at it, but they nonetheless look excited and happy for me.
“Wow, I bet your real proud! What’s it mean? Wait, no, let me guess!” Applebloom stares at it hard, a face of mock concentration. “Well, that looks like fabric around that symbol there… Are you good at sewing?” I shake my head. “Are you good at making cloth?” I shake my head again.
“Are you good at modeling?” I look at Scootaloo in surprise.
“H-how did you know?” I ask her timidly.
“The cloth wraps around the symbol in a flowy motion. Lots of Rarity’s dresses are flowy, and the cloth looks nice.” Scootaloo shrugs.
“Modeling? Like vests and stuff? That’s cool, you could become famous like miss Fluttershy. Except for all the colt fashions!” Applebloom beams.
“A-actually, M-my talent is modeling like a-a f-filly,” I stutter out, fearing their reaction.
“Like a filly? What, you mean dresses and stuff?” Applebloom asks in confusion, I nod my head slowly. “But you’re a colt.” Applebloom points out, I nod my head slowly. “That’s a little weird,” Applebloom points out, my heart lurches.
“Applebloom!” Sweetie gasps.
“The hay Bloom?! Can’t you see he’s sensitive about it?!” Scootaloo exclaims.
“What? I don’t mean nothin by it! I was just sayin…” I look away as tears start to well in my eyes. Even Applebloom thinks I’m weird. “I’m sorry star, I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s a good type of weird, means you’re unique!” Applebloom puts a hoof on my shoulder and I look up at her.
“You really think so?” I ask.
“I know so,” Applebloom replies.
“You what?” Scootaloo asks in confusion.
“I know so.” Applebloom turns to her.
“No! that word you said,” Scootaloo exclaims.
“Unique?” Applebloom tilts her head in confusion.
“Yeah, that one. What the hay is that?” Scootaloo exclaims.
“It means special,” Applebloom deadpans.
“Then why not just say special?” Scootaloo asks.
“What? Am I not allowed to talk fancy?” Applebloom challenges.
“No, your not,” Scootaloo replies.
“Well, thanks a lot Scoots” Applebloom just rolls her eyes and goes back to what she was doing. I just smile widely, Applebloom and Scoots are still the same.
“So, you girls aren’t disgusted? We’re still friends? You don’t think I’m a… freak?” I ask anxiously.
“Disgusted? Freak? Why would we think that? Of course we’re still friends!” Applebloom asks incredulously.
“Who called you a freak? Why, when I get a hold of them-!” Scootaloo makes some punching motions with her hooves.
“My Dad…” I say dejectedly.
“Wait? Your Pa called you that?” Applebloom asks in shock. “Why would he do that? That’s terrible!” even Scootaloo was shocked.
“Just because of your cutie mark?” Scootaloo questions, I just nod my head as tears start to well in my eyes.
“So, we’re still friends?” I ask again, just to be sure.
“Why would we not be friends?” Applebloom asks.
“Because I’m a freak…” I answer, tears falling from my muzzle.
“Star, you’re not a freak. You’re just different. We’re all different, but none of us are freaks,” Applebloom soothes in her slight southern accent.
“Yeah, we gotta stick together! Nothing can break up our friendship!” Scootaloo jumps out of her beanbag that she’s been laying in and over to us. I look up at the two of them and wipe the tears out of my eyes.
“You girls are the best!” I pull the both of them into a hug and Sweetie Belle joins in.
“What I don’t get is why anypony wouldn’t accept you… It’s your destiny right, what you’re meant to do?” Applebloom says as we pull apart.
“Rarity was telling me how some ponies don’t accept other ponies because they’re different,” Sweetie Belle answers. “She called them Bigots,” Sweetie Belle adds in a thoughtful voice.
“That’s stupid, Equestria was founded on only two principles! Love and tolerance!” Scootaloo exclaims, waving her hooves in the air for emphasis. We all look at her questioningly, she notices our looks and stares back at us. “What? I pay attention in history sometimes!” Scootaloo snips. I just shake my head at the absurdity of it all, the crusaders truly never change.
“Scootaloo’s right though, why would some ponies be any exception to this rule? Is it only ponies like Star?” Applebloom asks.
“No, Rarity was saying that they don’t like ponies like Lyra or Bonbon either,” Sweetie Belle frowns at the memory.
“Lyra and Bonbon? Why them? They’re so nice! Miss Bonbon gives me samples sometimes! Lyra plays beautiful music on her lyre! Why they gotta be awful to all the nice ponies!” Applebloom asks.
“She said it’s because they love each other. Apparently these ponies don’t approve of loving the same gender,” Sweetie Belle informs.
“I haven’t heard of this before, have any of you?” Scootaloo asks, the others think hard.
“Actually, now that I think about it, Granny don’t like Lyra or Bonbon none. I remember her saying it ain’t natural. I didn’t know what she was talkin’ about at the time cause I was too small, but it makes sense now.” Applebloom admits.
“Has Applejack or Big Mac ever said anything?” Sweetie Belle asks.
“No, they always told me to treat other ponies with respect. Maybe it’s just granny…” Applebloom trails off in thought.
“Well, Applejacks lived with granny. But she seems alright, maybe she’ll be able to tell us why granny thinks that way?” Sweetie Belle suggests.
“Yeah, great idea Sweetie!”
“Cutie mark crusader researchers! Yay!” The three of them shout, I simply step away and let them do their thing. Applebloom notices though.
“Aren’t you gonna join in?” Applebloom asks.
“But I have my cutie mark,” I point out.
“Yeah, but you still don’t know what it means to you, do ya?” Applebloom asks.
“Well, no. Not really…” I admit.
“Well, there you go! You’re still a crusader, just with a little different mission than us. You’ll still participate in our crusadin’, right? We’re crusaders, we help each other,” Applebloom announces with devotion.
“Right!” Scootaloo adds.
“Yeah…” I agree.
“Well then, one more time…” Applebloom says, I smile and step up to them.
“Cutie mark crusader researchers! Yay!” We announce in sync. I smile widely at still being accepted in the club, and in our friendship. Even if some things are less than savory, Everything is still turning out good.
“Okay, let’s go! We shouldn’t waste any time!” Scootaloo announces. We all leave the club house and head out into the fields. Applejack wouldn’t be in the house, she’d be out in the fields. Thankfully, Applebloom knows exactly where she is. We walk up to Applejack and she greets us.
“Well, now. If it ain’t the crusaders. What can I do ya for?” Applejack drawls.
“Hey sis, we need some answers.” Applebloom says.
“Yeah, see, our friend here recently got his cutie mark.” Scootaloo starts.
“Well, good for him.” Applejack nods to me and i smile.
“Yeah, his talent is modeling as a filly, and we were wondering-” Applebloom is cut off by Applejack.
“What did you say?” Applejack asks in shock.
“Modeling, as a filly.” Sweetie Belle clarifies, oblivious to the growing disgust on Applejack’s face.
“I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to go.” We all reel back at Applejack’s tone.
“Applejack! What’s wrong with you?” Applebloom exclaims.
“Ain’t nothing wrong with me, it’s him that’s wrong. Now, I ain’t gonna ask twice. Leave the farm, and don’t ever step foot on it again.” Applejack threatens, I’m frozen with fear. What had once been a happy mare had, in a split second, become hostile and hateful. I start to back away under her glare, Applebloom is looking at Applejack in shock. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are as well in shock, but pretty soon all three of them get angry.
“What the hay Applejack! What happened to bein’ respectful!?” Applebloom shouts.
“Don’t use that tone of voice with me young lady! And I am being respectful, I’m asking him to leave before I do something unpleasant.” Applejack turns her stare to Applebloom briefly, but then back at me.
“What’s wrong with you sis?! I thought you were nice!” Applebloom exclaims in hurt.
“Bloom, it’s for your own good! Now go in the house.” Applejack demands.
“C’mon girls, we might as well just leave with Star.” Scootaloo says, her eyes are daggers that never leave Applejack. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle turn with Scootaloo to usher me out.
“Where do you think you’re going young lady?” Applejack asks.
“Anywhere but here.” Applebloom answers.
“I told you to go to the house, now go.” Applejack demands. Applebloom looks back defiantly.
“No.” She answers before turning away.
“You get into the house before I-” She’s cut off by Applebloom.
“Before you what?!” Applebloom spins on her hooves and shouts at Applejack. “I trusted that I could come to you for help sis, and I expected you to help my friends as well. You have betrayed my trust, and I don’t want to talk to you. Honestly, I want nothing to do with you right now,” Applebloom yells at her.
“You don’t understand Applebloom, it’s for your own good,” Applejack replies.
“No, you don’t understand! You’re just a…” Applebloom searches for the right word.
“A bigot.” Sweetie Belle offers.
“Yeah! You’re a bigot!” Applebloom shouts, she turns back around and we walk out of the orchard. I didn’t get a chance to look at Applejack’s face, but if I had to guess then I would imagine it was one of shock. I choke down the sobs as we walk away, all three girls are looking at me concernedly. Applebloom is looking disappointed and betrayed.
“You should have listened to her.” I say quietly.
“No, she’s wrong. If I listen to her, it’s like admitting that she’s right. She’s not right.” Applebloom growls.
“I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me,” I murmur.
“I’m sticking with you Star. Crusaders stick together, remember. Loyal to the end,” Applebloom says, determination etched on her face.
“Thank you,” I say.
“Well, she was completely honest with how she sees the issue. Guess that’s why she’s the element of honesty. She’s brutally honest,” Sweetie Belle sighs. “We need someone who could understand,” Sweetie Belle says as we step out of Sweet Apple Acres.
“And someone who won’t try to make us abandon our friends,” Applebloom adds spitefully.
“Then how about Rainbow Dash! She’s the element of Loyalty! She must understand what it means to accept your friends!” Scootaloo urges.
“Yeah, let’s ask her,” Sweetie nods and we head for Rainbow’s cloud house. We arrive at the house and find rainbow performing tricks. Rainbow sees us and stops her practicing to talk to us.
“Hey Squirt,” Rainbow looks at the rest of us, “And company. What’s up,” I look away and let the others take control of this one.
“What’s your opinion on ponies dressing as the other gender?” Scootaloo asks.
“Whoa, uh, that’s a strange question. I guess I’m alright with it, I’m not one to judge others. If they want to do something, who am I to stop them?” Dash shrugs.
“Would you hate a pony for doing it? Would you stop being their friend?” Scootaloo asks.
“Of course not, I don’t care who does it. I wouldn’t think any less of anypony for that,” Dash looks at Scootaloo curiously. “Why Squirt, is there something you want to tell me?” Rainbow Dash asks.
“Actually, I wanted to ask you something. Why are ponies like that… hated?” Scootaloo asks.
“I don’t know Squirt, some other ponies just aren’t that accepting. They don’t understand it and they act out against it. Sometimes it’s out of fear, and some people are just raised that way. Some people can help it, some can’t. I try to have nothing to do with ponies like that though, it’s not right to be hateful.” Rainbow says, reclining in the air as she talks.
“What if it was one of your friends being hateful?” Sweetie Belle asks.
“Well, then I would confront them about it. But I don’t really have to worry about that with my friends,” Rainbow looks at the four and sees their nervous expressions, and my downcast expression. “Are you having some troubles Squirt?” Rainbow asks softly.
“Well, yes and no…” Scootaloo sighs, “Our friend Star just got his cutie mark in modeling like a filly, and he’s having trouble with other ponies accepting him.” Scootaloo answers.
“And do you have a friend that isn’t as accepting?” Rainbow asks.
“Actually, you do…” Sweetie Belle answers, averting her gaze.
“I do… You mean one of my friends was being hateful towards him?” Rainbow asks in surprise, we all nod. “Who was it?! I’ll have a talk with them. It was Rarity wasn’t it? Always so caught up in her fashion!” Rainbow fumes.
“Actually, Rarity was really understanding. She’s actually planning on helping Star with some things,” Sweetie answers.
“Really? Then who?” Rainbow asks in confusion.
“Applejack.” Applebloom spits out the words.
“Applejack…” Rainbow looks downtrodden, I don’t know why. “I’ll have a word with her,” Rainbow sighs and starts flying off to Sweet Apple Acres. We stand there, a little confused at what just happened. Scootaloo looks after her and sighs.
“Thought so,” Scootaloo says.
“Thought what?” Applebloom asks.
“I’m pretty sure Rainbow has a crush on AJ. If Applejack isn’t accepting of those types of ponies, then it’s not gonna work out well…” Scootaloo sighs. “I really hope she can get AJ to see, For both her sake, and Star’s” Scootaloo turns away and we head back into town.
“Where to now? Should we ask somepony else?” Sweetie Belle asks.
“Who would we ask?” Applebloom questions, Sweetie Belle thinks for a moment.
“Twilight! She knows a whole ton of stuff. She might even be able to help you be a filly, if you want.” Sweetie nudges my shoulder and I look over.
“I-I don’t know… I just want to be me right now. I don’t even know what that means anymore…” I say sadly.
“Well, we’ll see if the option is there if you ever want to take it up.” Sweetie Belle says.
“Wait, Star. You want to be a filly?” Applebloom asks in confusion.
“I don’t know, I might have,” Star answers sadly.
“Oh, ok.” Applebloom says.
“So, is that a yes for Twilight’s place?” Scootaloo asks. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom just nod. I’m too caught up in my thoughts. It’s true, when I was modeling I had felt like a filly. But do I want to be a filly? Maybe I just wanted to be like a filly? But, isn’t that basically the same thing? In both cases, I’m not a filly, but I want to be like one. I was never very coltish, and I never liked it when my father was telling me I needed to grow up into a strong stallion. I always figured it was just my childish rebellion speaking, but I must’ve known all this time.
I look up to my mom, but it’s more than that. I want to become successful, and kind. Calm and collected, but maybe there is more that I want to be like her. Know I know that I want to be Beautiful and graceful, but do I want to be a filly? If I was a filly I wouldn’t receive ridicule for dressing like one. And I could still follow my destiny as a model, and still be pretty. It’s everything I could want, isn’t it?
If I become a filly, will I have to like colts? Do I already like colts? Will I learn to like colts? Would it be ok if I don’t, what if I still like fillies? If I still like fillies, I’d be leaving one reason for ridicule for another. But, it’s all okay, isn’t it? It’s okay to be like I am, and it’ll be okay to be who I become. Whatever that is, I’m still not sure yet. I ponder these thoughts a little more, but I have no significant breakthroughs. We arrive at the library and we walk in. That might be rude if it were someone’s house, but it’s a public library.
“Welcome to Golden Oaks- Oh, hey girls! and hello to you too Star.” I wince as I hear my name singled out. “Your eyes are Fuchsia, are those contacts?” Twilight asks.
“No, they're magenta, they changed when I got my cutie mark…” I say timidly.
“What? No... really? That’s strange, I’ve never heard of a cutie mark changing somepony before… I’ll have to look into that. What is your talent?” Twilight asks. I hold my breath, I’ve said it so many times that it shouldn’t matter. But I’m still scared of rejection, especially with people I know and have grown close too. I’m not terribly close to Twilight, but I’d like to think that we’re still friends. I was closer to Applejack and look how that turned out.
“I got my cutie mark in modeling like a filly,” I answer, a slight hesitation in my voice. Twilight doesn’t look shocked or disgusted, she looks blank. Eventually I see a spark of recognition in her eye and a little embarrassment.
“A filly? Oh, I didn’t realize you were that way, Star… Or, do you have another name that you’d like to be called?” Twilight asks.
“That I was what way?” I ask curiously.
“Well, there are two cases where a colt likes to dress like a filly… And in both cases the colt usually creates a different identity for herself.” Twilight states matter of factly, then she thinks of something. “You don’t know anything about that, do you?” Twilight asks.
“No, but please, tell me what you know.” I say, finally happy to get some answers.
“Well, the term for any pony that likes to dress in the opposite genders clothes is a crossdresser. For some reason it’s more acceptable for mares to do it, than it is for stallions. And the term for a pony that feels like the opposite gender is a transgender, though there are specific terms for each gender." Twilight pauses and looks at me. "Do you feel like a filly? Or do you only dress it?" Twilight asks.
"Er... I'm not sure, I think maybe I want to be a filly, just a little... is that bad?" I ask fearfully.
"No, it's just special. If you do want to be a filly, the correct term would be transgender. Transgenders are typically crossdressers, but crossdressers aren't usually transgender. Does that make sense?" Twilight asks.
"I-I think so..." I reply timidly.
"It's okay, I can answer any questions you might have on the topic." Twilight tells me gently.
"Th-thanks Twilight," I tell her, she smiles.
"Twilight? Why are ponies like him treated so awful by other ponies? And ponies like Lyra and Bonbon." Applebloom asks curiously.
"Well, usually it's the way they were taught. Sometimes they can have a bad experience and that might set them off to it... a lot of factors contribute to it. Some ponies just get it in their head that theres a certain way for things and that's how it's supposed to be. I... I regret to say that I used to be like that, a long time ago. I just used to think that things were how they were and they couldn't work any differently. Then, I met Lyra. This was way back when in Celestia's school for gifted unicorns, back when I was still a filly." Twilight looks over the three girls in thought.
"Back then, I didn't even think that a mare could love another mare, the thought never crossed my mind. I just assumed, mare and a stallion, I assumed that was the way it was. I never questioned it, and I never really thought about it. The day I met Lyra was also the day I found out that these type of things happened. I had been studying when Lyra came and sat next to me, I didn't pay her much attention. She was just another pony, and I was just trying to study. Eventually she struck up a conversation, I politely held up my end. But, no pony ever talked to me, so I grew curious." Twilight looks up in remembrance.
"Eventually I asked her why she was talking to me, and that's when it happened. She asked me out, I was confused. In my childlike naivety I brushed her off as stupid, I reminded her that we were both fillies. She didn't relent, she just told me so? I told her that fillies and mares weren't supposed to date each other. She asked me why not? I remember wanting to answer but I couldn't think of a good reason, I just told her because. She was upset, for sure. And I do regret treating her awfully, when I met her again in Ponyville I even apologized for it. Lyra assured me it was fine and even introduced me to her marefriend," Twilight smiles at the memory.
"But back then, I didn't think about Lyra. I thought about what she said, and I couldn't think of any good reason why not. I remember thinking about forced marriages in the old days and how those had been abolished. If a pony could choose who they wanted to marry, why couldn't it be the same gender? I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I went to Celestia. She told me about same sex marriage and how it was okay to love whoever you want, she also told me that there were some ponies who don't approve." Twilight smiles sadly at the thought.
"Back then I couldn't wrap my head around it, I was raised to love and tolerate. It baffled me that some ponies couldn't do that. As soon as I learned that, I promised not to be so jaded from then on. That I would give just as much thought to having a marefriend as I would a coltfriend. That's what you call a bi-sexual, someone who likes both mares and stallions. I've since found out that I'm not as I expected." Twilight sighs, but she straightens up and smiles at the girls.
"Wait, so you're not bi-sexual? Does that mean that you just like stallions? Or do you just like mares?" Applebloom asks confusedly.
"Well, the words you're looking for are heterosexual and homosexual, respectively. But, no, I'm neither of those. There are many more sexualities than just those three, those are just the cusp of it." Twilight says matter of factly.
"How can you love something other than mares or stallions?" Scootaloo asks incredulously.
"Well, if you can love both then I'm going to assume that you can love neither... but you said there are more than that?" Sweetie Belle questions.
"Well, if you're none of those, what are you? If'n you don't mind us askin' that is, I don't want to intrude or nothin'." Applebloom asks respectfully. Twilight seems in two minds about saying, but she relents.
"I'm what you would call a demi-sexual, it means I'm not really interested unless I have a strong emotional connection to the pony. I'm still pan-romantic though, accepting all ponies as romantic partners." Twilight says decidedly.
"So you'd be interested in anypony, as long as you have a strong emotional connection to them?" I ask curiously.
"Yes, that's correct." Twilight affirms.
"Geeze Twilight, even your love life is too complicated," Scootaloo says, we all nod in agreement. Twilight looks a little miffed by the comment, but she regains her composure.
"When Rarity is saying that love is complicated, I don't think she meant it this way. This must double the complications!" Sweetie Belle exclaims.
"The world is a complicated place," Twilight points out, we just nod. I try to digest all this information.
"Hey, Twilight? Is there any way to change a ponies mind about these things?" Applebloom asks.
"Well, it depends... if the pony is stubborn, it would be very hard if not impossible. Some ponies are much easier to change, especially if you're close. Some ponies are impossible to change, even if you're close. It depends really. Why? Is there somepony not entirely accepting that you'd like to change?" Twilight asks.
"Two, Star's pa and my sis," Applebloom sighs.
"Applejack? Really? Well, I could try to have a word with her... but if theres anypony more stubborn in her ways, it's Applejack." Twilight lets out an exasperated sigh.
"Rainbow Dash already went to talk with her," Scootaloo says.
"Fight fire with fire..." Twilight nods to herself, "that sounds perfect," Twilight smiles. "Well, do you girls have any more questions?" Twilight asks, I look to the others and they shake their heads. I shake mine as well, Twilight smiles brightly. "Okay then, I'll see you all later! Come by if you need anything," Twilight cheers.
"Okay Twilight, we'll be sure to do just that," Sweetie Belle answers, we all head out of the library.
~~~~~~~
Applejack leans against a tree in thought, Appleblooms words had stung. But, was she wrong?
I ain't never been called a bigot before, especially not by my kin. Applejack thinks to herself. Applejack had been raised to be respectful, but she'd also been taught that those type of things were wrong. She tried not to say anything about it unless it affected her or her family. Applejack would never tell Lyra or Bonbon to break up, but she would make sure that they wouldn't leave a bad influence on her sis.
She'd been trying to protect her sis from the bad in the world, and that is the right thing to do. No matter what, she won't let her sister grow up to become some fillyfooler. The Apple family is a thriving family that will continue on through the generations, and will adhere to tradition all through. Granny Smith had drilled those morals into her and Macs head, obviously she was right. Besides, how are you supposed to have a foal if both are the same gender? You can't, it's not natural.
Same with colts wearing dresses, dresses aren't made for colts. Colts aren't made for dresses, their made for vests and pants maybe. Not dresses, it's not natural. The thought disgusts her, along with those thoughts of all the other unnaturals. No, nopony in their family would be like that. The Apples are all natural, and that's that. Applebloom would just have to learn that all that stuff is wrong, she just doesn't know now. She doesn't understand how it's supposed to be. Applejack notices Rainbow Dash gliding towards her, she get's up to greet her.
"Howdy Dash," Applejack smiles.
"Hey AJ," Rainbow replies.
"What can I help you with?" Rainbow Dash is silent for a long while, then she answers.
"I heard that you had some problems with Star Soar." Rainbow speaks up.
"Yeah I did. Can you believe it?! It's just unnatural! Applebloom's got it in her head to defy me now too, it ain't right. I'll get her to come around soon enough, some good old Apple family discipline." Applejack assures her.
"What about Lyra and Bonbon? You never had a problem with them," Rainbow Dash points out.
"They weren't ever a big influence on Bloom," Applejack waves her off.
"Yeah, but you seemed fine with them. Never chased them off your farm," Rainbow says.
"Like I said. Now, if they only ever came to the farm to see bloom or me like that, then we'd have a problem. But Lyra's with Bonbon, so I ain't gotta worry about that." Applejack answers.
"What if it was one of your friends that was like that? Would you chase them off too?" Rainbow dash asks, her voice quavering slightly. Applejack doesn't notice.
"If it was one of my friends then I would talk some sense out of them! I'd try to help them. Try to cure them!" Applejack insists.
"What if nothings wrong with them? What if it's just the way they feel?" Rainbow asks.
"If they feel that way then there must be something wrong with them! Why you askin' all these questions D-?" Applejack stops as she looks at Rainbow Dash, she's completely downtrodden. Tears are streaking down her muzzle and her eyes are glistening. Gone is the proud look of a fearless flyer, replaced by the hurt of a scared filly. Rainbow eventually gains enough conscious to reply.
"Then I guess you don't want me infecting your family. I'll be sure to steer clear of Sweet Apple Acres from now on." Rainbow Dash takes off and leaves the acres quickly.
"Rainbow?" Applejack looks after her prismatic friend and can't help but think one thing. Maybe I'm wrong?
~~~~~~~
Rainbow Dash zooms away from Sweet Apple Acres as fast as possible, tears still streaming from her eyes. She needs to get away from there and to someone who can understand. Rainbows mind thinks over all her other friends. Her thoughts fall to Rarity. She was accepting of Star and willing to help, according to Sweetie. Maybe she can help me? Rainbow thinks. After all, Rarity has the most knowledge of love and rejection of any of her other friends as far as she knows. With her mind set, Rainbow speeds to the Carousel Boutique. Rarity opens the door to be embraced in a hug.
"Rainbow Dash? Is everything alright?" Rarity asks in concern.
"No! Everything is not alright! My life is over!" Rainbow sobs into Rarity and Rarity just pats her back.
"There, there... why don't you come on in and tell me what's happened?" Rainbow complies and sits with tears still streaking out of her eyes next to Rarity on her couch. "Now, why don't you start at the top?" Rarity insists.
"Scootaloo, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Star Soar came by earlier to ask me some questions... they mentioned how Applejack wasn't entirely accepting of Star, by their expressions I'd have to guess Applejack was pretty harsh. I told them I'd go talk to her, so I did. Applejack's a complete homophobe, and she was trying to enforce it on Applebloom. I tried to get her to see that it wasn't bad, but she wouldn't have any of it. I... I couldn't handle it. She talked about gay ponies like being gay was a disease, and that it needed to be extinguished. I was horrified, and she saw. She knows now, that I'm... I'm gay. I'm sure she hates me now! I ran, because I didn't know what else to do... I didn't know where to go... so, I came here. I thought that you might be able to help me..." Rarity sits in shock at her friend.
"Rainbow, I had no idea... and Applejack..." Rarity pulls Rainbow into a comforting hug and Rainbow hugs her back.
"I love her Rarity, I love her so much... but, she hates me..."Rainbow says, Rarity tightens her grip. Rainbow snuggles deeper into her fur, it was so comforting. Rarity's fur was soft and Rainbow felt a sense of security in it. Rarity understands her, and she accepts her.
"Rainbow, I'm so sorry," Rarity says in an attempt to console her. Rainbow and Rarity just sit there for a long while, not saying anything. Just being there for eachother like friends should, Rainbow slowly starts to feel better. She's past the crying, now she just feels bad.
"Thanks Rarity, for being there for me when I need it." Rainbow says softly.
"Think nothing of it, darling," Rarity replies.
~~~~~~~
The crusaders and I are heading to Carousel Boutique. After leaving Twilights house we went to the clubhouse to think of more ways to earn cutie marks. We had to sneak in and out of Sweet Apple Acres, but we weren't caught. It helped to take my mind off of my dilemma, and for that I'm thankful. We open the door to find a surprise, a surprise for me. My mother, Stable Script, is there waiting for me.
Rainbow Dash and Rarity are talking to her on the couch, she turns to us as we walk in. I have mixed feelings upon seeing her, and I don't quite know which side to choose. On one hoof, She came to see me. On the same hoof, it could mean she cared. On the other hoof, it means I might have to go back home and face my Dad.
"Star! Are you alright? I've been worried..." My Mom moves to comfort me, I don't stop her.
"Mom, I'm..." I pause, how am I feeling? Scared? Hurt? Confused? "I'm glad you're here," I wrap my forelegs around her neck and she wraps her hoof around me for a hug. I stay there for a while, then Mom pulls away.
"Are you still injured? How bad did he hurt you?" Mom looks over me, there's no more sign of it. My head, however, is still tender in that spot. I let out a yelp of pain and Mom pulls away, she looks at the spot and lets out a sigh of relief. "It looks fine, just a little sore," she assures me. "Now, you never did answer my first question. Are you alright?" She repeats.
"I could be better, but I'm doing okay. I'm... really confused." I admit.
"I want to help you through this any way I can, so if I can help in any way just ask." Mom pulls me into another embrace.
"Thanks mom," I answer.
"I'll try to talk some sense into your father, Rarities offered to let you stay with her until he understands. I'll be over daily to see you, if I can make it." I smile at my Mothers dedication. She'd go out of her way to convenience me, I can't express how much love I have for her.
"Rarity, would it be possible if I could stay the night too? I really don't wanna go back to the farm yet," Applebloom asks, a tinge of sadness in her voice.
"Yes, that's fine. Scootaloo? Would you like to stay as well?" Rarity asks.
"I'd love to, but I'm not sure my folks would be okay with it. It's a school night and all that, maybe some other time." Scootaloo says.
"Very well then," Rarity responds, she turns back to Sweetie Belle. "Could you go set up the inflatable mattress, Sweetie?" Rarity asks.
"I'll get it down and out, but you know I can't set it up," Sweetie says as she walks out of the room.
"Thank you, Sweetie!" Rarity calls after her.
"Rarity, I think I'll head home now." Rainbow pauses before leaving. "What I told you earlier, you're the only one I've told... would you mind keeping it a secret?" Rainbow pleads.
"Of course," Rarity nods.
"That's not as true as you'd like to believe," Scootaloo mutters.
"What was that Squirt?" Rainbow asks.
"Nothing!" Scootaloo jumps, surprised Rainbow heard her at all.
"Right, well... you all have an awesome time." Rainbow says as she leaves.
"We will!" Me and the other crusaders, minus Sweetie Belle, call out. The other two mares keep to themselves, chuckling at our harmony.
"I should be leaving now as well, I've got a story to work on. I'll see you tomorrow, Star." Mom nuzzles me and I nuzzle her back, then she leaves.
"I guess I better go too," Scootaloo announces. "Tell Sweetie bye for me. I'd wait, but I don't wanna be late for supper." Scootaloo turns towards the door.
"K, see ya at school," Applebloom calls out.
"Bye," I call out. Scootaloo leaves and we turn to Rarity.
"Speaking of supper, why don't I fix something up?" Rarity asks, Applebloom and I nod enthusiastically.
Intermission: Problems From The Past
"Tempest Soar," the teacher calls out.
"Here," I reply, bored out of my mind. I hate my classes, I think they're stupid. I already know enough, and they're irrelevant to what I want to do in life. I want to be a in weather production. I can do the heavy lifting and physical stuff, what's so hard about doing that. I haven't gotten my cutie mark yet, oddly enough. I know what I want to do, but it just won't come. I've deduced that I just need to have a moment of clarity to be sure of it, I just don't know how to get it.
Thankfully, my roommate doesn't mind. We both have our quirks, we both accept that. I know for a fact that he's gay, and that's fine. As long as he doesn't do anything with his coltfriends while I'm there, anything more than kissing. I'm fine with kissing, I just don't want to think of the other stuff. We're pretty good friends though, I've known him for as long as I've been in the academy.
He's a part of the tennis team, he keeps fit. I don't do any sports though, even if I might be pretty good at soccer. He keeps on urging me to join, but I'm having a hard enough time focusing on classes. It's not that I'm not smart, I'm actually a pretty big nerd. It's just that I learn the stuff so fast that I can hardly stand to listen to a lecture on it for an hour, I'd much rather just read about it real quick. I usually finish the assignments in class if I can, then I spend my off time weight lifting. Though, that's only about half the time. The other half is spent doing a multitude of other things. Recently, I've found mystery stories pretty good, though a little predictable.
Sometimes I'll go out pranking, I'm good enough to not get caught. Sometimes I drag along my friends, but usually they just drag me down. I try to think up more complex pranks, to up the antè. I know not to cross the line though, I don't wanna get the authorities involved. I've even looked into magic. Not unicorn magic, I'm a pegasus. But stage magic, things involving trickery and illusions. I'm decent, but my skills are swamped by that of the school magician, Trixie Lulamoon. I asked her to teach me once, she just told me that a magician never reveals their tricks.
I pretty much gave up on that, though I'll do a trick every now and then. Really, I need to pay more attention in class though. My grade in my engineering class is dropping to a C, I try to maintain a B average at least. It's because I totally didn't realize we had a big project in that class till the day before it was due, I had to throw something together quickly to salvage my grade. I almost dropped to a D that day, but I barely managed to keep it up. Thus, I reckon, I'm pretty terrible at engineering. I try to spend less time launching paper projectiles at unsuspecting classmates and more time listening, but it's so boring.
The class lets out and I sigh in defeat, all I managed to learn is what our homework is. I perk up a little as I remember the look on that last ponies face when the paper wad landed in their ear. I wish I had some binoculars or something, because they were across the room. I was proud that I managed to hit my mark, considering I had used a plastic spoon between two textbooks to gain more speed. The pony sitting next to me had been impressed at the shot, and we both chuckled about it quietly.
I head back to my dorm room, that was my last class for the day. I didn't have much homework to do, but it was a considerate amount. I unlock the door to the room with my keycard and look in, there I see my roommate staring back at me wide eyed. He has a frilly blue and white dress that compliments his blue and white mane, and he's wearing a touch of make-up. He looks like a mare, but I can tell he's my roommate. We stand there for a while in shock before he uses his magic to slam the door closed behind me, it snaps me out of my shock.
"Sonic Net? Are you in a dress?" I ask, even though it's obvious that he is.
"N-no?" He tries.
"Are you sure? Cause that's what it looks like," I say.
"It's not what it looks like," he says.
"Then what is it?" I ask, he pauses.
"Okay, it's exactly what it looks like... but don't kick me out!" He pleads.
"Why would I kick you out?" I ask in confusion.
"Because I'm wearing a dress?" he answers, not quite sure of it himself.
"Whatever, I don't give flying feather what you wear. I got homework to do though, so I'm gonna use the desk." He looks at me in shock and confusion as I move to the desk.
"Oh, okay." He replies, still sounding a little flustered. I simply roll my eyes at his antics and pull out my textbooks from my saddlebags and get to my homework.
~~~~~~~
It's been a while since I first learned about my friends crossdressing, it's just another quirk of his. I don't think anyone else knows, but I don't care. I've come home to him in drag more than a couple times, but I just brush it off. I've been getting better at engineering, but I don't think I'm all that good at it. Though, my friend has taken to a new project. He's trying to create something to accurately launch water balloons from a distance, he hasn't gotten much done on it. He's looking at some plans for it, he wants it to be the ultimate pranking tool. I didn't think much of it at the time, thinking he wanted to work on it alone, but it looks like he's really struggling with it.
He's been staring at those plans for thirty minutes without moving once, I'm starting to think he's come to an impasse. I put down my latest mystery novel and move to help him, he barely glances at me before looking back to his blueprints. I look at his blueprints for the first time, they're pretty simple.
"Hey, you need some help?" I ask.
"Yeah, I can't seem to figure this out... I need to find a way to make it go more straight, and less up..." he sighs.
"Well, then you need to add more speed." I tell him.
"Yeah, but how is the question. I've thought about that leveraging trick you showed me with the pencil, but there's only so far any material can bend before it either breaks or stays bent." He replies.
"Well, then don't bend it. Spin it," I tell him.
"What, like a wheel? You want me to put it on an axis?" He asks, I nod. He looks it over and then turns back to me. "How does it gain up enough speed?" He asks.
"Use a see-saw like effect, weigh down the other side. If the projectile is light enough and the object heavy enough, the weight will move one side down and the other up. Effectively accelerating the projectile." I tell him.
"How do we stop it from accelerating to actually launch the projectile?" He questions.
"I imagine putting a bar up to stop it will do just fine," I shrug and he looks over the plans.
"That's much better than what I had! Will you help me build it?" He asks earnestly, I look at him indecisively. It is a pranking tool, and I do love pranks.
"Okay, sure. But, I think I have some things to add to make it even better." I can already picture the machine, it's going to be perfect!
~~~~~~~
I look out at the park before us, it's getting filled quickly. Some sort of business function, full of snobby business ponies. The perfect time to test our machine. I look back at the contraption to make sure that everything is running smoothly. I brought some oil to put on the axis so it moves smoother, and quieter. Sonic and I have hidden the machine behind some cover, so the machine is pretty much hidden. It's painted black for extra stealth.
We also brought boxes upon boxes of balloons filled with water, all of it ammunition for our device. Off to the side is a wider scoop for launching more balloons at once. I even put an aiming tool on the device, for more precision. I wait for more ponies to arrive and for the party to get under way, then I prepare the first balloon. I allign the machine with my target and signal for Sonic to activate it with his magic. The machine launches the balloon right into a guest I don't particularly like, I had the misfortune of meeting him at one point. He was a total jerk.
The balloon hits him in the behind and he falls over in confusion, he's completely flustered and guests are looking at him. I load on one more balloon and aim quickly, then the balloon is off. It hits a different pony, this one just as confused as the last. I launch off several more individual attacks before ponies start to realize what's going on. Thankfully, the balloons are moving too fast to be traceable. I aim one directly at a unicorns horn and it hits its mark. Sonic and I are trying so hard to keep from bursting out into laughter, even though were certain hat were too far for them to hear us.
The ponies start to move away from the outer ring and are struggling to make it away from there, I take this chance to put on the wider scoop. I dump an entire box into it and tilt the machine up more, I signal Sonic. The balloons launch out and cover the sky, but nopony notices until they've hit. I quickly load up another and Sonic launches them, we run out of balloons fast. All the party goers leave, even though the attacks have stopped.
I'm rolling on the ground laughing by now, Sonic is as well wiping tears of joy from his eyes. I get up from the floor and attempt to calm down, my sides are hurting. That was great! I need to make more machines to do stuff with, the possibilities are endless! I look over at Sonic, who's stopped laughing and is looking at me with a smile. I smile back and he seems to go into a frenzy, before finally focusing on something.
"Look!" He points at my flank. I look back at my flank to find two silver cogs and one gold cog. I turn back to Sonic, he looks just as excited as I am. "You're special talent is engineering!" Sonic says excitedly.
"What, no, it's making things..." I say in confusion.
"That's what an engineer does! Solves problems, makes things, they work with their hooves!" Sonic explains.
"Really? If it's my special talent is engineering, why am I doing terrible in that class?" I ask.
"Probably because your not paying attention," Sonic rolls his eyes.
"Oh... yeah, that makes sense..." I say, thinking back on the project I missed. I look at the machine and a smile plants itself on my face, I turn around to find Sonic eyeing me. "So, I think this calls for a celebration. Let's go out tonight!" I say, Sonic's eyes widen. I know it's rare for us to eat anywhere other than the dorm, but I didn't think it was that rare.
"Go out?" Sonic repeats questioningly, almost hopefully.
"Yeah, we always eat in the dorm. Let's go out to eat!" I cheer, Sonic looks a little let down.
"Right, to eat," he sighs.
"Dude, you okay? We don't have to eat somewhere else, you could just hang back if you want," I tell him.
"No, I'll come with." Sonic assures me.
"Alright, now help me get this to storage," I tell him, turning back to the machine. Thankfully, I had enough foresight to put it on wheels.
~~~~~~~
I open the door to the dorm and I find an unusual darkness, usually Sonic is home by now. Then I notice that he is home, he's curled up on the couch. I walk over to him after flipping on the light to hear light sobbing, I look at him in concern. I've seen him distraught before, but he was never this bad. I sit on the couch and lay a hoof on him, he looks up at me. I gasp, I can see that he has a black eye. Upon closer inspection I notice various other bruises along his body.
"What happened?" I ask in shock.
"I told Sun Charger about my crossdressing, he broke up with me. He didn't leave without a few shots at me," Sonic chokes out. I look at him in shock, and that shock quickly turns into anger. How could Sun be so hateful? He was the one that broke up with Sonic!
"You stay here, I'll go set Sun straight," I snarl.
"No, Tempest. Don't... I don't want you to do anything to him..." Sonic pleads.
"Why did he even do it?" I ask in anger.
"Because ponies like me are hated... being gay is kind of okay, but Crossdressers and transgenders are less okay," Sonic answers.
"That's stupid!" I fume, Sonic just nods.
"It just means I'm a freak..." Sonic says, I look over at him sadly.
"No, you're not." I turn his head to me and say firmly. He leans in more and plants a kiss on my cheeks, I freeze up. He pulls away and looks sultrily into my eyes.
"So then Mr. Engineer, I hear you're good with your hooves," he croons, I back away quickly. He looks hurt, and he turns away.
"I'm sorry, I-" I cut him off before he can say any more.
"No, I'm sorry. I must have been sending off the wrong vibes, but I don't like you that way." I tell him. He looks down and I turn away from him. "I want support you, but I just need some time alone now..." I tell him, but to be honest I'm completely disgusted with him. I turn and walk out of the room, ignoring the sobs I hear behind me.
~~~~~~~
I look at my hooves dejectedly as I think on what happened just yesterday. He had confided in me, and I had hurt him. All because I was scared, I had chased him away. I look at my desk and find a picture of the machine that got me my cutie mark, in front of the machine is me and my old friend Sonic Net. I look on the work table in front of me and find my latest project, I have no interest in it right now.
When I first found out about Sonic's crossdressing, I just thought it was a personality quirk. I had never thought it could make anypony want to hurt him. Then, when I got back to the dorm I finally realized that ponies like that get hurt. And in my fear that I'd become like him I'd hurt him more, but I never apologised. We grew apart after that. We were still roommates, but we weren't friends. I felt bad and I did want to be his friend, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I selfishly protected myself by ignoring him.
Now, faced with a similar situation, I paniced. I was mad at life for facing me with a similar situation, I was mad at fate for making me confront those feelings. I was scared for my son, so I tried to abandon my problems. If he's not your son, you don't have to feel anything for him, my frantic mind had reasoned. I acted entirely on impulse and instinct. On my feelings at the moment, not my feelings as a whole. I haven't even talked to my wife yet, she made me sleep on the couch. She left a while ago, I don't know where to. But I've been meaning to apologize to her and my son Star for how I acted, explain that I didn't mean what I said.
I didn't see my son last night or this morning, so I don't know where he is. I've decided to just wait for my wife to get back and explain it to her first, then she can help me tell Star. I hate how I reacted, that isn't like me at all. I regret every second of it, I wish that I could take it back. But I can't, so now I have to atone for it. The door opens and I look up hopefully, Stable script walks in the door.
"Honey, I-" I start, Stable cuts me off with a scathing glare.
"Don't start with me, I know what you did. You hit him, you hit our son!" She shouts.
"Yes, and I-" I'm cut off by her again.
"And you chased him out! How could you?! He expected you to support him! I expected you to support him!" Stable fumes.
"I know and I-" I start.
"You-" I cut her off this time.
"I'm sorry! I paniced, I was afraid for him and me! I couldn't handle it last time and I was even less prepared this time!" I shout. She stops and looks at me curiously.
"Last time? What are you talking about?" She asks. She doesn't let down her glare, but she does soften it.
"I need you to understand that I am willing to help him, I was just scared. So, I paniced." I say.
"You were scared? How do you think he feels?" Stable yells, her anger spiking.
"I know, but... I'm afraid for him. I want to be there for him, but I don't know how to do that. Last time, I didn't fix things. I just made them worse..." I say solemnly.
"What is this last time you keep talking about?" Stable asks in frustration. I gesture for her to follow me, she follows. I take her to the living room and she sits down, I rush to my work room. I grab my picture of the machine that got me my cutie mark, then I return and tell her the story of how I lost my friend Sonic Net.
Applejack sits outside the house in wait, Applebloom has to come back sometime. Applejack is determined to wait for Applebloom, however long it takes. Applejack tries to ignore that voice in her head that wants to talk about what happened with Dash. The revelation came as a shock to her, how had she not known that one of her friends was gay? It's unnatural, yet Dash seemed hurt. Of course she seemed hurt, she's not right in the head. Applejack reasons. Yet, that's not how it seemed.
Dash had seem heartbroken, and betrayed. As the element of honesty, Applejack had learned how to see the truth in peoples emotions. Beneath the hurt was not guilt, but a look of utter betrayal. How had Applejack betrayed her? She was the one that was wrong! But then, why does Applejack feel like she might be the one in the wrong? Applejack ignores the hurt in her gut, she was right and she knows it. No matter how much doubt they try to plant in her.
Applejack continues to wait in silence as the sun starts to set, Big Mac had come by earlier to ask her what she was doing. She had told him that she was waiting for Applebloom, nopony had bothered her since. She'd already eaten, so she wasn't hungry. All that's left to do is wait, wait for Applebloom. Applejack shoots to her hooves as she sees movement in the distance, but frowns as she notices that the figure is a white pony. It's not Applebloom, but Rarity that's walking to her.
"Hello, Applejack, beautiful night isn't it?" Rarity says as she walks up. Applejack softens a little as she sees her friend, it's a welcome distraction.
"Hey there, Rarity, what brings you 'round these parts?" Applejack asks.
"I was hoping we could talk Applejack," Rarity says, her smile faltering a little.
"What about?" Applejack asks.
"A couple of things actually... I hear that you had a falling out with Dash earlier?" Rarity says cautiously.
"I'll say, can you believe it? She's wrong in the head! That colt Star too, you best keep Sweetie away," Applejack warns.
"You'd tell me to break up my sisters friendship on account of him being different? Would you abandon Rainbow Dash because she's the way she is? Our friend, who has been nothing but loyal to us, you'd abandon her because of something so trivial?" Rarity accuses.
"No, I'm gonna try to fix her! The kids are impressionable though, we can't have them learning the wrong things." Applejack argues.
"And who are you to say what is right and wrong?" Rarity asks.
"I shouldn't have to say it, it's obvious! I thought you of all people would understand. You ain't queer too are you?" Applejack questions menacingly.
"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't use such slander. But no, Applejack, I'm not queer. That doesn't mean I don't accept them. A pony should be able to do what they want, love who they want." Rarity retorts.
"It's not right, you can't make a family that way! The Apple family has been sustained on heterosexual couples having kids and carrying on the legacy, queers can't have kids! It's unnatural!" Applejack fumes.
"The apple family has been sustained on Apple loving ponies. What if Applebloom hates apples?" Rarity suggests.
"What're you talkin' about? Applebloom loves apples!" Applejack exclaims in confusion.
"Does she? Or does she just act like it because she's afraid of rejection? Afraid that she'll let down the family. If she doesn't love apples, is she still an apple? Say that she loves pears, would you cast her out of the family because she can't carry on the apple legacy? If she hated apples, could you accept her?" Rarity questions, Applejack freezes.
"I... I..." what would she do? Would she do just that? No, apple is family and family sticks together. But like Rarity said, if she can't carry on the legacy, is she still an Apple? Of course, once an apple, always an apple.
"What if she were scared that no one would accept her because of how she feels? Applebloom, the Apple that hates apples. She'd be afraid of rejection, she'd be afraid to tell people. Do you know what she'd end up doing? Lying, to herself and everyone else around her. Because she feels that not even her family could accept her for how she is. Applejack, element of honesty, the Apple that drove her sister to lying because she couldn't accept that she was different." Rarity mocks.
"No, that's wrong I'll help bloom. I'll-" Applejack is cut off by Rarity.
"You'll fix her? What if it's not a problem? What if it's just the way she is. Some ponies have certain tastes, certain preferences that they just can't help. Taste is one of those. You try to fix her, she'll just end up lying to you and herself to be accepted." Rarity retorts.
"I... I can accept her. I'll make her know that she's accepted and still part of the apple family," Applejack says.
"Let's say that Applebloom were gay? Could you still accept her? It's the exact same situation as the last, so you should be able to accept her right? Except with this one it's worse, much worse. Some ponies couldn't care less what Applebloom likes to eat, but that's not the case. Even more ponies would care if she's gay, would you? If she wasn't welcome anywhere else because of her sexuality, would she be accepted here? Or would you try to fix her, make her lie to herself and everyone around her about her preferences. If she were to marry, it would have to be a lie, because she can't face the world honestly. All because her sister couldn't accept her, is that what'll happen?" Rarity asks.
Applejack is frozen now, frozen in shock. If Applebloom were gay, that's probably exactly what would happen. And Applejack probably wouldn't have been able to see the truth. She would have been too caught up in what she thought was right, but in truth she would be completely wrong. She would not only be encouraging a lie, but enforcing it. It goes against everything she was ever taught, but it's how she was raised. How could she have ever believed something that conflicts with her morals?
And now, thanks to what she used to believe, she may have pushed away her friends and family. Applebloom hasn't come home yet, maybe she ran away. She could have ran away after feeling that she couldn't be accepted, and she would have been completely justified. Maybe Rarity was right, maybe she is like that. Maybe she drove Applebloom away with her actions. Maybe Applebloom hates her.
Not only that, but she drove Dash away too. And she knows that Dash is for a fact, gay. Dash probably hates me, Bloom hates me, Star hates me. I wouldn't put it past the rest of the crusaders to hate me, and maybe even our other friends. I hurt Dash, how can I face her again? Applejack thinks to herself, tears are pooling in her eyes. Rarity moves closer to comfort her friend.
"Do you see it now, Applejack?" Rarity asks. "Do you accept Dash, and Star? Do you accept anypony who may have feelings that make them different?" Rarity asks softly.
"I do, but... I hurt them Rarity. How do I make it up to them Rarity? And Bloom, she hasn't come back yet..." Applejack says dejectedly.
"Applebloom's at my house. She was really hurt by how you treated Star, she asked if she could stay the night. I let her, but I think you have some apologies to dish out." Rarity says, laying a comforting hoof on Applejacks back.
"Will that be enough? I realize now that the things I said and did were just plumb awful," Applejack sniffs sadly.
"She's your sister, and Dash is your friend. I'm sure they'll be willing to forgive you," Rarity says.
"What about Star?" Applejack asks.
"I'm sure he'll forgive you too," Rarity assures her. They sit there for a while more, just silently enjoying eachothers company. Applejack, not wanting Rarity to leave. Rarity, not wanting to abandon Applejack while she could still need help.
"Rarity?" Applejack looks over at her friend.
"Hmm?" Rarity looks back in acknowledgement.
"Thanks for helping me, I was being stubborn." Applejack admits.
"Don't mention it, darling. Now, I'd hate to leave you here, but it's getting quite late. I do have to make sure the girls make it to school in the morning, and I'm sure you have responsibilities tomorrow as well." Rarity says, turning to Applejack.
"Right, I'll see you around then. Have a nice night," Applejack says. She wipes her face dry one last time and pulls Rarity in for a goodbye hug.
"Goodnight, Applejack." Rarity leaves after that, Applejack heads to bed. She thinks on all that's happened, and she feels a new hope for understanding.
~~~~~~~
Applejack is feeling pretty happy this morning, the hope from last night has blossomed into something beautiful. She's planned to visit Dash and make up for how she acted, then she's going to make it up with Applebloom and Star. Gone is the former bias and prejudice, Applejack now has a new outlook. It still pains Applejack to think of how she acted, but she brushes off the thought. She's not like that anymore, she's better.
Applejack is interrupted from her morning routine by a knock at the door, she has no idea who it could be. Most ponies in town are barely waking up at this time, much less going anywhere. Especially Sweet Apple Acres, so who could it be? Applejack moves to the door and opens it up, she doesn't expect what she finds.
"Applejack, please don't chase me out. I have nowhere else to go," Applejack stares wide eyed at the pony before her. He's a wreck. He has various bruises lining his body, and tear streaks along his face. He has saddlebags full of what appear to be personal possessions. He's looking at Applejack fearfully, and pleadingly.
"Braeburn? What the hay happened to you?!" Applejack exclaims.
"They ran me out cuz'. They ran me right out of Appaloosa, only after a couple of swings at me..." Braeburn shudders at the thought.
"Why'd they do that?!" Applejack asks in outrage.
"It's because I'm... I'm... I'm a coltcuddler!" Braeburn covers his head, no doubt expecting a beating. "Please, if you don't want me here I understand. Just, please, don't hit me..." Braeburn cowers and Applejack looks at him in shock. Her conversation with Rarity comes back to her mind as she looks at Braeburn, rage and horror filter through her. How could the Appaloosan Apples treat Braeburn like this? But Applejack knows exactly why, it's because they don't accept him.
Applejack moves to Braeburn and embraces him in a hug, he whimpers at the contact. Slowly he realizes that she's not hurting him, he looks at her tentatively.
"You... you're not mad? Or disgusted?" Braeburn asks.
"Of course not, you're family through and through. I don't care who you like, I ain't gonna tell you what's right. You're always welcome here, and you remember that. It don't matter what others say," Applejack replies.
"But, it ain't natural..." Braeburn says sadly, Applejack pulls him away from her and holds him in front of her.
"Braeburn, I don't want to hear any of this. You are who you are and that's that, it don't matter if you're different. Apples forever, and Apples together." Braeburn nods and Applejack pulls him back into a hug.
"Thanks cuz', you're the best," Braeburn sighs in relief onto Applejacks shoulder.
"You can stay here for as long as need be, granted you help out with the farm." Applejack assures him.
"You don't know how much this means to me," Braeburn replies.
"T'ain't a thing. Like I said, family helps each other out." Applejack ushers Braeburn inside and to the kitchen table. Applejack starts on making breakfast for Braeburn and Braeburn sits at the table quietly. He looks around the house at all the decorations, it's been a while since he's ever had time to stop and admire the house. He rarely comes over, and when he does he's busy doing other things.
"Braeburn? What're you doin' here?" Granny smith is looking at Braeburn in surprise.
"Granny, Braeburn will be staying with us for a while" Applejack says slowly.
"And why's that?" She asks, suddenly very suspicious.
"I was chased outta Appaloosa," Braeburn says quietly.
"Why?" Granny asks accusingly.
"Because I'm a c-coltcuddler," Braeburn says nervously.
"You-?! Get outta here, we don't need no queers here!" Granny Smith shouts in rage. Braeburn looks at her in fear, Applejack steps between them.
"Granny, I won't have none of that! Braeburn is staying here and that's final. I will not let you scare him off, you hear me?" Applejack yells back.
"He's a queer, it ain't natural!" Granny spits.
"He's family, and I won't have you insulting him! I don't care if he's secretly a seapony, he's always welcome here!" Applejack retorts.
"I raised you smarter than this, Applejack!" Granny Smith fumes.
"No, you raised me to be biased and unfair to others! I'm done being like that! I will not stand for it on my farm!" Applejack snaps.
"Why? You a queer too?" Granny asks.
"So what if I am? What's wrong with that?" Applejack challenges, and she means it. She and Granny stare off for a few seconds, then Granny Smith turns and leaves the room in a huff.
"Did you mean that? Are you...?" Braeburn trails off.
"No, but I ain't about to let her win because of that." Applejack answers.
"Applejack, why are you being so accepting? Don't get me wrong, I love you to death for it, but I remember you being a lot different about this stuff. I mean, Granny did teach you that way... I guess, what I'm asking is, what changed your mind?" Braeburn asks timidly.
"Actually, it was only last night. Yesterday, I hurt three ponies close to me by being... a bigot, as Applebloom so simply put it. I wasn't sorry though, I honestly thought I was right. Then... I had a different friend talk to me. She put my actions into perspective, and I've changed for the better. Now I gotta go make nice with those ponies. So, make yourself at home in the guest room. I'd suggest staying outta Granny's way. If you have any problems, I'll be back soon." Applejack turns to the breakfast she made braeburn and plops it in front of him. Braeburn nods thankfully and Applejack leaves.
"So, you're a coltcuddler?" Braeburn jumps at Big Macs voice behind him. Braeburn cowers under Macs gaze, he just nods slowly. Mac stares at him for a long while, Braeburn gulps in fear. "Huh," Mac simply turns to the door and leaves, Braeburn watches in relief. A big smile erupts on his face, things are starting to look up.
~~~~~~~
I open my eyes and look around me, it's still strange waking up in a room that's not mine. However, I'm comforted by the fact that Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were in the room with me. Sweetie Belle had given up her bed once again, and I had graciously declined. This left Applebloom for the bed, Sweetie and I took the cots. I look over at the bed and notice that it's empty, Applebloom must be up early. I look out the window and notice that the sun is barely up, which is still earlier than I usually wake up. It makes sense, we went to sleep a little earlier. I don't understand how Sweetie Belle is still asleep, even if she's always been a deep sleeper.
I attempt to get out of bed as quietly as possible, but I still end up being louder than I'd like. Thankfully, Sweetie Belle sleeps like a rock. I move down the stairs to the living room, Applebloom is sitting by the window. I walk over and sit next to her, she doesn't move.
"Hey, Bloom, you okay?" I ask.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I should be asking you that though, I ain't the one about to face the school." Applebloom says, turning to me.
"What do you mean?" I ask, though I have a good idea what she's talking about.
"You're cutie mark. So far you've gotten mixed responses from a handful of ponies, who knows how all our classmates are going to react?" Applebloom says.
"Well, I'm gonna guess that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are gonna think I'm a freak. That's one thing you could always count on," I chuckle softly at the dry joke, Applebloom just looks at me in concern.
"Are you sure you're okay with that?" Applebloom asks.
"I've handled much worse so far," I assure her, it doesn't really put her at ease.
"I worry about you Star, all this fear can't be good for you. I don't want you to become terrified of the world, I wish other ponies could just accept that you're different." Applebloom says sadly.
"I do too..." I agree. We sit there for a while before Applebloom speaks up again.
"I been thinkin'," Applebloom starts.
"What about?" I motion for her to continue.
"About what Twilight said," Applebloom says I look over to her. She has that face she gets any time she's thinking up some sort of plan. "Twilight was mentioning that ponies in your position normally make up a separate identity, I'm going to assume that this separate Identity is some sort of attempt to separate how they feel from how they are. Like, you are Star, a pegasus colt. But, you feel different than that, right?" I look at Applebloom in surprise and nod. I hadn't expected anything so deep from my friend, not to say she's dumb or anything.
"Yeah, something like that..." I agree.
"Right, that's what I thought. So, do you want a second identity? Twilight said that's what normally happens, but in the end it's all up to you." Applebloom asks. I think it over.
"Why do I need a separate identity to be who I want?" I question.
"Well, I imagine that the whole point is to keep the lives separate. Like a secret identity. In the comics, secret identities are used to protect that pony and those around them... I don't know why you'd have to protect those around you, but maybe you do." Applebloom shrugs. I mull it over, I know what she means by secret identity. It makes sense if you put it like that, but it would really only be for your benefit. It seems like a lie though, like you can't be yourself. So you become somepony else to be yourself.
It just seems like an unnecessarily complex lie, especially when you think about the comics. They have a so much harder time because of their secret life, yet they can't throw away that second life. That second life is still a part of them, but they struggle to keep it seperate. I have a choice here, whether to make a second life for myself or not. The fact that I have the choice to do so shows that I'm not who I feel I should be. What if instead of splitting who I am and who I feel like I should be, I merge them. What if who I am is who I feel like? If I feel like a filly, could I be a filly?
"I don't want to be two ponies. I just want to be me, Bloom." I tell her. If I am going to be a filly, how would I go about doing that? "Bloom? How do you be a filly?" I ask her, she looks at me in surprise.
"I dunno, you just are... you just feel like one, look like one, act like one, it's not really a thing you do consciously..." Applebloom replies.
"Bloom, I think I know now. I feel like a filly, can you help me with the other parts?" Applebloom looks at me with a smile.
"I can sure try," Applebloom assures me.
"Thanks Bloom," I thank her.
"No problem. We should probably get Sweetie Belle up, we need to start getting ready in a while," Applebloom says.
"You go get her up, I need to ask Rarity for something." I tell her. She nods and we part ways, I move to Raritys door. I realize that the light is on, I knock on the door. Rarity answers the door, she smiles down at me.
"Good morning, Star. Did you need something?" Rarity asks.
"Actually, yes. You wouldn't happen to have some hair dye or a spell to change hair color, would you?" Rarity thinks on it for a second.
"I do happen to have some hair dye. It's leftover from one of the crusaders earlier attempts at cutiemarks, and I haven't found any use for it since. Why? Do you want to use it?" Rarity asks.
"Only if you have any in my eye color or close," I respond.
"I'll see what we have." Rarity moves back into her room, I wait at the door frame. "Fate seems to favor you, I have the perfect color! Now, do you want a full dye, or just a couple streaks?" Rarity asks cheerily. I think on it for a second, then I make my decision.
"Streaks please!" I answer enthusiastically. Rarity smiles and ushers me into the bathroom.
~~~~~~~
Applejack is being carried up to Dash's cloud house, she was not outside practicing like she'd usually be. This in itself was enough to worry Applejack, so she went to ask Twilight for a cloud walking spell. She'd also asked a pegasus she knew well enough to carry her up to the door. After she's up on the doorstep, Applejack dismisses the other pony. Now that she's alone, Applejack takes a deep breath to compose herself. Then she knocks on the door.
Rainbow Dash answers the door, her eyes widen to the size of dinner plates. Rainbow's eyes are bloodshot and puffy, there are obvious tear streaks along her muzzle. Her mane looks more unkempt than usual, and her coat is in a similar state. Rainbow Dash has a blanket draped over herself tightly. In total, she looks like a wreck.
"Applejack?" Rainbow asks meekly.
"Rainbow, I'm sorry about what I said! I wasn't right, I was so wrong! I was being callous and unfair, and I can only hope that you don't hate me. I understand that you may like mares, and that's alright. I didn't understand before, but I do now. Please forgive me, Rainbow." Applejack pleads.
"Really?" Rainbow asks after a while, her voice raspy.
"Really! I don't want our friendship to stop because I was inconsiderate before," Applejack insists. "I realize now that some ponies are just like that, and that they deserve my support and respect. I'm here to give you just that, support and respect. What do you say Rainbow, could you forgive me?" Applejack asks earnestly, leaning in eagerly towards Rainbow Dash for an answer.
Rainbow doesn't answer for the longest time, she seems to be mulling something over. Then, she darts in and plants a kiss on Applejack faster than she can react. Applejack's eyes widen, but she doesn't move. She stands stock still, even after Rainbow pulls away. The kiss hadn't been longer than two seconds, but it had felt much longer. Days could have passed, and Applejack wouldn't have noticed. Her mind is focused on the kiss, and how she felt about it.
It had been unexpected, but not unwelcome. It was passionate and sincere, and it had felt wonderful. Applejack had been kissed before, but none of them had felt like that. Just forceful enough to be pleasurable, but it still had the softness of a lover. The lip lock shouldn't have felt as good as it did, and now Applejack is hungry for more.
"I'm sorry! I know I shouldn't have, but you were just so beautiful! I know you aren't like that, but I love you! I love you so much, and I have for a long time! I couldn't resist... I know you must hate me now, after a stunt like th-" the rest of Rainbow Dash's words are muffled as Applejack plants her lips firmly on Rainbow Dash's. Rainbow Dash melts into the sweet embrace of their lips and leans into the kiss blissfully. Applejack pulls her hooves around Rainbows neck, and Rainbow Dash pulls her hooves around Applejack's lower back. The two's kiss last's much longer than the first, and they both enjoy every second of it. Slowly, they pull away slightly and look into each others eyes.
"Applejack? I... I didn't expect..." Rainbow Dash trails off.
"Neither did I." Applejack admits. "I reckon this means that I love you too Dash," Applejack says.
"But, I thought you only liked stallions?" Rainbow says.
"I thought so too, but I've also never thought about mares that way. I think that I still like stallions, but I think I like mares too. I like you dash, and I'd love it if you could be my special somepony," Applejack says sincerely. Her thoughts go to all the friendly competition and playful actions made between two friends. She had liked Dash then too, she just hadn't noticed it. She should have known sooner, but she was too stubborn. That's in the past now, now she just has to accept her feelings for Dash as they are.
"Yes, yes, yes! A thousand times yes!" Rainbow nuzzles deeply into Applejack's chest and Applejack rests her head on Dash's. They stay like that for a while, Applejack mulls over her emotions for Dash. It's all new territory to her, so there's a good amount of disorientation. Applejack simply smiles at the thought, she'll get through it. With no small amount of help from her new marefriend.
~~~~~~~
"Whoa, Star. Nice hair," I smile at Scootaloo's compliment as I open the door to the Boutique.
"Thanks," I reply. There are magenta streaks of color in my hair now, they match my eyes. I gesture for Scootaloo to come in and she obliges.
"Is Scoots here? Oh, you are. Hurry up, Sweetie! We don't wanna be late!" Applebloom yells up the stairs. There's some random thumping, scraping, and banging upstairs. Sweetie walks down the stairs innocently, like nothing happened.
"What was that?" Applebloom asks incredulously.
"What was what?" Sweetie Belle asks in confusion.
"All that- you know what? Never mind, I don't care no more. Let's just hurry up and go. Scootaloo's Scooter is still dead, so we'll have to walk." Applebloom says.
"I thought you were getting a new magical battery?" Sweetie Belle says.
"I meant to do it yesterday, but I forgot in all the excitement." Scootaloo sighs.
"Enough dilly-dallying! We don't want to be late!" Applebloom says.
"Relax Bloom, we have thirty minutes to get there. And it's not that far," I tell her.
"Ain't no problem in being careful," Applebloom defends, I just roll my eyes as we walk out the door. We head in the direction of the school, making our way slowly but surely. Then I see a pony I was hoping I wouldn't have to see yet, Diamond Tiara.
"Hey there Cutie Markless Losers, still as lame as ever?" Diamond Tiara approaches our group, flanked by none other than Silver Spoon. "And who's this? Another poor filly you roped into your club?" Diamond Tiara looks at me curiously, then a hint of recognition hits her. "Star? Oh, you looked a lot like a filly. I should've known that nopony would be stupid enough to join your club," Diamond Tiara scoffs.
"Tiara, look." Silver Spoon points at my flank and Diamond Tiara notices.
"Oh, Star, you have your cutie mark! What are you doing hanging with these losers when you could be hanging with us?" Diamond Tiara bumps Scootaloo away from me and looks at the mark quizzically.
"Hey!" Scootaloo detests.
"What's your talent, Star?" Silver Spoon asks in confusion.
"Modeling as a filly," I say nervously.
"A filly?" Diamond Tiara mulls this over. "Makes sense, why wouldn't you want to be a filly? All the glamorous and upper-class positions are suited for mares. Look at the princesses for example!" Diamond Tiara exclaims, my mouth drops open in shock. Of all the ponies to be accepting, Diamond Tiara was the last pony I expected. "Modeling huh? It's obvious that's a high class profession, meaning you're fit to be as fabulous as us. Why don't you ditch these low class ponies and roll with the ponies of privilege?" Diamond Tiara suggests. I stare at her blankly, completely dumbfounded.
"I'm sorry, but my answer is no." I answer after a while.
"Are you sure you want to throw away a gracious opportunity like this? It may never come again." I nod my head, "Hmph, your loss. Come on Silver, let's ditch these losers." Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon continue walking to the school.
"Was anyone expecting that? Applebloom asks, we all shake our heads. "Yeah, thought not..." Applebloom says. I shake myself out of my stupor and continue walking to the school house, the others follow after.
"So, are we going to talk about what just happened?" Sweetie Belle asks.
"It happened, what more is there to talk about?" Applebloom asks.
"It's totally not like her! She always finds the smallest stuff to insult us about, how could she not be a bigot?" Sweetie points out.
"The great Neighpoleon once said, never interrupt your enemies when they're making a mistake." Scootaloo says, we all stop and look at her. She stops and looks back at us, "What?" She asks in confusion.
I shake my head, "despite how strange it is, Scootaloo's right. Let's not question blessings," I say with finality.
"What do you mean strange?" Scootaloo accuses, "I'm right tons of times!" Scootaloo defends, striking a self-righteous pose.
"Yeah right, your plans end in one of two things. Property damage, or tree sap." Applebloom scoffs.
"That's not entirely true! And you girls plans aren't any better," Scootaloo grumbles.
"She's got a point you know," Sweetie Belle agrees. Applebloom just rolls her eyes in response, we continue to the school house. We arrive with seven minutes or so to spare, I take this time to ready my supplies. I pull my notebooks out of my cubby and set them on my desk, I also grab my pencils and set them out. Miss Cheerilee enters and sees me, she looks at me in surprise.
"Excuse me, miss? Are you a new student here?" Cheerilee asks.
"No, I've been a student for a while Cheerilee. I'm just a little different," Cheerilee looks at me in confusion. "It's me, Star Soar," I tell her.
"Star Soar? Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't recognize you with the new... look. Are those contacts?" Cheerilee asks in confusion.
"No, that's just my eye color now." I respond, hopping back to my seat. More students start to pile into the building, a lot of whispers. I can make out a few, but a lot go unrecognizable.
"Who's the new filly?" Somepony asks.
"That's Star Soars seat," Somepony points out.
"Look at her cutie mark, what does it mean?" Somepony asks. I slowly duck my head lower as the whispers go on, everypony eventually gets seated. Cheerilee thrusts her attention to the board as she starts the lesson, everypony looks at her quizzically.
"Miss Cheerilee, aren't you gonna introduce the new filly?" A young colt I know as Rumble asks. Cheerilee looks over nervously at me and then at Rumble.
"You all know Star Soar," Cheerilee says.
"Star Soar? That's a filly, isn't it?" A random filly from the far side of the room asks.
"No, I see the resemblance now. He looks way different now, what's up with his eyes? They were yellow before, right?" The whole class mumbles agreement with the random colt who points that out.
"He's got a cutie mark now," somepony else points out.
"Oh yeah, what does it mean Star?" Somepony asks. Everypony looks at me expectantly, I shrink under their gaze.
"My talent is modeling, as a filly," I say. If I had a bit for every time I've said that...
"As a filly?" Somepony questions.
"What, like dresses? But, you're a colt." Somepony else points out, they're all giving me weird looks. Even Cheerilee looks a little confused, but no one looks disgusted.
"Is that why you look like a filly now?" Rumble asks.
"Y-yeah," I answer shakily.
"Ok, class. If we could just get back to the lesson," Cheerilee taps the board with a hoof and everyone turns back to her, she sighs in relief. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding, things are going okay. They don't really understand, but they don't hate me for being the way I am. Really, that's all I could ask for. I remember that theres a lesson happening, so I pay attention to Miss Cheerilee. I manage to pay attention at just the right moment to hear her instructions, apparently we're doing some sort of project today.
"Ok, class. For this project we'll be learning about the Dichotomous key. This basically means categorizing things down until we have just one thing in each category, for this we'll have a demonstration. Everypony will participate, so get up." We all get out of our desks and look at Cheerilee expectantly. "Okay, now the first and most obvious way to divide this big group is gender. Now, fillies on the right side, colts on the left," the class divides among itself and I automatically walk to the right side. Miss Cheerilee notices, she walks over to me.
"Star, you're on the wrong side. You're a colt," Miss Cheerilee says.
"But, I feel like a filly," I reason nervously.
"But you aren't, you're a colt," Miss Cheerilee insists, "therefore, you must be over there." Cheerilee motions, so I hang my head and start to move. Even if I feel like a filly, I'll never be accepted as one.
"I say she stays over here," Diamond Tiara says, ever the defiant one. "My daddy says I can be whatever I want when I grow up, why can't she? If she wants to be a filly, she can be a filly," Diamond Tiara says, I look at her in shock and thanks.
"But HE is not a filly, he's a colt. However much he may think otherwise," Cheerilee insists.
"A famous thinker, Reign Carts, is well known for a famous quote. I think, therefore I am. In Stars case, she is a filly." Scootaloo speaks up, everypony looks at her strangely. She just scoffs and rolls her eyes at the gestures.
"Scoots is right, and I think all the ponies here agree." Applebloom says, everypony shakes their head. Diamond Tiara looks at Cheerilee smugly, glad to have won this argument. Cheerilee looks nervously at all the students, knowing that she's fighting a losing battle. She relents and returns to giving out instructions, there are no more disputes. Eventually, everypony is alone. Everypony divided into their own unique category, making us all different. We all have similar over-arching categories, but we are all still individuals. We all are different, and similar in some regards.
I look over at Scootaloo, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle. Each one different than the last, yet they all have so much in common. I look at Diamond Tiara, I wouldn't have thought that she would defend me. Though, she wasn't really doing it to defend me, I know she was just arguing for the sake of arguing. She does it all the time, I'm still going to thank her for it later. I don't like her all that much, but I think that I could. I wish that we could be friends, all of us. Sweetie, Bloom, Scoots, Me, Silver Spoon, and Diamond Tiara. It's wishful thinking, I know that it isn't going to happen.
I can still hope though, can't I?
~~~~~~~
"Thanks a lot for helping me back there, Scoots." I tell her as we're packing up our stuff to leave.
"It was nothing, im surprised miss Cheerilee bought that." Scootaloo replies.
"What do you mean?" I ask in confusion.
"What I said wasn't true, not fully at least," Scootaloo scoffs at the thought.
"You mean you made it up?" I gasp.
"No, there really was a famous thinker Reign Carts that said that, but that's not what he meant. He used it to prove his existence in the universe," Scootaloo waves a hoof in exaggeration. "I figured Miss Cheerilee wouldn't think about it intensely, and she didn't. But hey, if it works," Scootaloo grabs her helmet from her cubby and her scooter from the corner. "See ya later Star," I just nod numbly back. I didn't realize Scootaloo knew so much, I give her less credit than she deserves.
I head outside and Applebloom heads out alongside me, we both stop before we go much farther. Applejack is waiting at the gate. My ears fold back instinctually and I avert my eyes, lest I catch any of the hateful glares she's giving me. I don't see Appleblooms face, but if I had to imagine I'd say she's pretty mad. I feel her direct me away from Applejack, but Applejack notices and calls out.
"Applebloom, Star!" Her voice doesn't sound angry, it sounds sort of sad. It sounds almost, regretful. I look over to her, anxiety filling my veins. I can feel my body shaking all over as I see Applejack galloping towards us, Applebloom has planted herself firmly between us.
"Go away sis! We have nothing to say to you!" Applebloom demands, Applejack stops just a few paces away. I look up and see Rainbow Dash hovering close behind her, she flashes me a cocky smile. I look at Applejack and I don't see an angry mare, I see a sorry pony. I walk out from behind Applebloom a little more as Applejack collects her thoughts.
"I'm so sorry Bloom, Star. Words can't express how sorry I am. I was a plum awful pony and I couldn't even see that because of my own stubbornness. I owe you more than an apology Star... if theres anything you could ever need, I'll try my hardest to help you get it. You're welcome on the farm anytime, and you'll always be welcome in the Apple household." Applejack says, my eyes widen in shock at her apology. Applebloom is in a similar state, but she manages to shake herself out of it first.
"What made y'all change your mind?" Applebloom asks in suspicion.
"A couple of things, this being one of them," Applejack reaches up and plucks Rainbow Dash from the sky, catching her in surprise. Applejack then pulls her into a passionate kiss, rainbow stops fighting it after a few seconds. Applebloom and I just stand there, completely dumbfounded. Eventually they stop and Rainbow pulls away quickly.
"Applejack! I thought we were going to take it slow," Rainbow scolds, her cheeks are burning bright red.
"Since when does Equestrias fastest pegasus take anything slow? Besides, I haven't heard anything about taking it slow. Applebloom has a right to know what's going on in my life," Applejack says decisively.
"You should tell Scootaloo too, she'll be glad to know that you finally got together," I tell her.
"Yeah, yeah, I'll go tell scoots in a sec- hold on. What do you mean finally? You four knew?!" Rainbow asks incredulously.
"No, just her. She didn't tell us anything until recently," Applebloom explains.
"Wait, just Scootaloo? How did she...?" Rainbow trails off. "Hey AJ, you good handling these two on your own? Okay, thanks, bye!" Rainbow Dash is gone in ten seconds flat, we try to wave away the dust she leaves in her wake.
"Star?" I freeze as I hear my fathers voice behind me. I turn slowly and find him looking at me in confusion, he shakes his head and looks at me with regret. "I know you might not think highly of me right now... but I wanted to apologize anyway. I... panicked, because I was afraid. It's no excuse, nothing can excuse what I did. It's an explanation, just to let you know I didn't mean what I said." I look at him in shock, then at applejack.
"It seems like there are more ponies that want your forgiveness, if you're willing to give it." Applejack says. I look back at my father, then I rush up and embrace his leg in a hug.
"I forgive you, both of you," I say. I feel his hoof on my back, stroking it comfortably. It's the acceptance I had wanted.
Things were tough for a while there, but the worst has passed. I'll still have to deal with lots of judgement from ponies, like cheerilee, but I have my friends and family now. That's really all I ever needed, their acceptance. That's all anypony really needs, especially if they're planning on making adjustments
Epilogue: Moirai Melancholy
"Hey, Scoots!" Scootaloo looks over her shoulder and at Rainbow Dash, who has taken to flying alongside her.
"Oh, hey Rainbow!" Scootaloo answers excitedly. If Rainbow Dash wants to talk with her, it must be important. "What's up?" She asks enthusiastically.
"I just thought I should tell you that... that I have a marefriend." Rainbow says, "it's Applejack," she continues.
"Finall-" Scootaloo catches herself, "I mean, that's great!" Scootaloo smiles nervously at the pegasus giving her a look that seems to say 'really?'
"How long have you known? About my crush..." Rainbow asks, rubbing her neck awkwardly.
"I don't know, how long have you known she was your crush?" Scootaloo asks.
"Well, I guess I found out I liked her about five months ago, why?" Rainbow answers.
"Wow, really? Uh, well, let's go with that." Scootaloo replies, looking anywhere but Rainbow. The odd reaction doesn't go unnoticed.
"Scoots..." she starts, but Scootaloo relents.
"Fine, seven months or so was when I realized what it was, but I guess I noticed the signs before that." Scootaloo throws up her hooves in defeat.
"Wait, wha- Seven months?! How could you know before I did!?" Rainbow drops to the ground in shock.
"Well, whenever you were with AJ, you always gave off some sort of sign. Sometimes your nose did this thing, sometimes you fluttered your eyes a lot, sometimes you'd constantly ruffle your feathers. Other small signs lots of pegasi make when they're nervous, or anxious. I eventually connected the dots. I started watching Applejack a bit more, and she occasionally made some signs too. Just, with less frequency and obviousness." Scootaloo says. Rainbow just continues to look at Scootaloo in shock, eventually she manages to shake it away.
"You know Scoots, you're pretty smart," Scootaloo looks a little anxious at this. "Is something the matter Squirt?" Rainbow asks.
"No, no, nothings the matter!" Scootaloo has this frantic look on her face.
"Doesn't look like nothing. Scoots, you can trust me," Rainbow assures her.
"Rainbow... am I an egghead?" Scootaloo finally asks.
"...What?" Rainbow asks, trying to process the question. "Why would you think you're an egghead?" Rainbow asks in return.
"Well, normally I wouldn't. I don't like to go to school, or learn all that much. I'd rather spend my time trying to find my cutie mark. But lately, I've been remembering things I've read about before. And I do find myself studying more. At first, I just assumed I was just trying to finally be a good student, maybe even a great student. But... I find myself reading more and actually being... interested, in some stuff. I still want to be awesome like you! do sports, and crusade, and... fly. But... I find myself liking things I never thought I'd like, like books, and learning, and... studying. So, am I an egghead?" Scootaloo asks tentatively.
"Hmm... I guess so." Scootaloo looks crestfallen, "but that's not bad."
"But, Twilights an egghead, and you make fun of her for it." Scootaloo points out.
"Yeah, Twilights an egghead. But I don't make fun of her for it. Sure, I tease her, but that's just because it's how she is. It's all in good fun, I don't blame her for how she is. And if you're an egghead, that's fine by me. You're still the cool filly I know you are," Rainbow says, rubbing Scootaloos mame playfully.
"But, I don't wanna be like Twilight. I wanna be like you!" Scootaloo whines.
"Just be like both of us, then you can be the awesomest and the smartest!" Rainbow says proudly, Scootaloo hesitates at this.
"C-can I do that?" Scootaloo asks in surprise.
"Sure, why not?" Rainbow shrugs. Scootaloo thinks on this for a while before breaking out into a wide grin.
"Yeah... I guess you're right!" Scootaloo exclaims excitedly.
~~~~~~~
"What do you want?" Diamond tiara asks condescendingly.
"I wanted to say thank you," I tell her, I had managed to catch up with her before she got too far. She looks shocked at this, her mouth hanging open.
"Thank you, for what?" She asks suspiciously.
"For standing up for me in the classroom," I tell her, she immediately grows snide.
"I didn't do it for you," she says.
"I know... and I don't care, you helped me regardless." I say with conviction.
"Whatever, loser." I watch her walk away, knowing that I at least tried to reconcile with her. Your whole world can be turned upside down and some things will never change.
~~~~~~~
"Hey there Cuz'! And lil Cousin Bloom!" Braeburn calls out while bucking an apple tree.
"Braeburns here?! Why didn't you tell me! We're gonna have less time for fun!" Applebloom says worriedly.
"Braeburn will be staying for a while, there'll be plenty of time for fun." Applejack chuckles at the energy of her little sister. She jumps as she hears the door to the house slam open and close. Everypony turns to find Granny Smith dragging a suitcase out the door.
"Granny? What are you doing?" Applejack asks, dreading the answer.
"I'm leaving till y'all get your sense back! To Appaloosa, where they know what's right and wrong! C'mon Bloom, let's go." Granny says before going back to pulling her luggage.
"I don't wanna go to Appaloosa, I want to stay here. Why are you leaving anyway?" Applebloom asks incredulously.
"Because that one's gone and poisoned this families thoughts. But not me, and I won't let them get you either Bloom." Granny declares, pointing an accusatory hoof at Braeburn.
"Braeburn, what'd he do?" Applebloom asks in confusion.
"He gone and became a homo!" Granny spits.
"You're a coltcuddler?" Applebloom asks, not even waiting for an answer. "Do you have a coltfriend? Can we meet him?" Applebloom asks animatedly, genuinely proud of her cousin.
"Uh, nope... no coltfriend." Braeburn answers.
"So they got you too, Bloom? Does your evil know no bounds?! Corrupting little fillies!" Granny Smith seethes.
"Granny, ain't no corruption happening. Stop this foolishness." Applejack tries to reason.
"Y'all are the foolish ones. Contact me when you've come to your senses," Granny says as she drags her suitcase away.
"Applejack, I didn't want anypony to leave. If I'm too much trouble-" Applejack cuts Braeburn off.
"She made her choice, don't you worry about it," Applejack says simply.
"Applejack!" Everypony looks up to see Rainbow flying towards them quickly, falling into a close hover by Applejack.
"You'll never believe it!" Rainbow Dashes face is pure pride.
"What won't I believe?" Applejack asks.
"It's Scootaloo!" Rainbow gives.
"Did she get her cutie mark!? Can she fly!?" Applebloom asks excitedly.
"She's super smart!" Sweetie Belle says even more excited. Applebloom pauses and looks at Sweetie Belle.
"When did you get here?" Applebloom asks in confusion.
"What?" She stops, then looks at Applebloom, "oh, that! Well you see, I-" Applebloom cuts her off.
"Nevermind, I don't wanna know." Applebloom says, raising a hoof to Sweetie Belles mouth. Sweetie's words die out and Applebloom removes her hoof.
"Sweetie Belles right! Scootaloos an egghead!" Rainbow says ecstatically.
"You, uh, seem real proud Dash." Applejack mentions.
"I am proud! Scoots is growing up!" Rainbow says animatedly. Applejack smiles at the notion. it's great to her to see how even if they aren't blood related, Rainbows still the best big sister to her.
"That's great, Sugar," Applejack moves up and kisses Rainbow on the lips. Rainbow returns the kiss and Braeburn stares at them wide eyed. Applebloom smirks at the display and Sweetie Belle seems to avert her eyes, embarrassed by the display.
"C-Cuz'? I thought you said...?" Braeburn starts.
"Braeburn? Shut up," Applebloom tells him, he snaps to attention.
"Yes, ma'am." He says dumbly. Applejack and Rainbow pull away with goofy smiles on both of their faces, Sweetie Belle returns to her joyous hopping.
"What's with you lately, Sweetie Belle? You're acting a lot like Pink-" Applebloom stops her sentence suddenly, everypony looks at her. Her face contorts to surprise and then fear, taking a final look over Sweetie Belle. "Oh, Celestia, no." Her brain starts to work overtime, pulling together all the memorable times Sweetie's acted this way. She can't believe that she never noticed it before, Sweetie Belle is becoming a lot like Pinkie Pie.
"What's up with Applebloom?" Rainbow Dash asks after a while.
"I'm not sure," Applejack says.
"Applebloom seems to think I'm becoming like Pinkie Pie," Sweetie Belle says casually.
Applejack takes a second to process this before turning to Sweetie Belle cautiously. Applejack looks at her and looks back as well, "oh no," Applejack mutters. Her brain starts to work overtime as well as she tries to process the idea. Rainbow looks at the two and laughs.
"They really are sisters, huh?" Rainbow chuckles as they both worry together.
~~~~~~~
Pinkie Pie is standing at the counter ringing up a sale when she feels it. Or, not so much as a feeling, but an overarching sense of understanding. Pinkie stops and focuses all her thoughts on this intrusion, picking it apart and trying to figure out what this means. Pinkie smiles wide as she figures out what the feeling is.
"My Apprentice is ready! I wonder what she's like?" Pinkie muses, ecstatic at the thought of taking on an apprentice.
~~~~~~~
Twilight looks up from her books at the pony who just entered, "hello, Scootaloo. What can I help you with?" Twilight asks.
"Twilight, can I be your apprentice?" Twilight blinks blankly before putting on a confused face.
"What? You mean like Rainbow Dash did for you? Why?" Twilight asks.
"Because I want to learn!" Scootaloo states, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"What do you want to learn?" Twilight asks curiously.
"Everything!" Scootaloo says excitedly. Twilight's eyes go wide at the proclamation.
"Everything?" She mutters, her eyes immediately gather the familiar glint of eagerness. Suddenly a thought comes to her, "what about Rainbow Dash? I don't want to just take you from her," Twilight says, composing herself a little.
"Rainbow's okay with it, she isn't able to teach me all the time anyways." Scootaloo says, Twilight smiles at this.
"Well then, are you prepared to do whatever it takes?" Twilight asks.
"Whatever it takes," Scootaloo declares with determination.
"Okay then, I'll be sure to find you and Rainbow Dash later to work out a schedule," Scootaloo buzzes her wings excitedly and pumps a hoof. Twilight smiles and turns back to her book, content with herself. Scootaloo leaves to go tell her friends.
~~~~~~~
Sweetie Belle hops down the streets gleefully, humming to herself merrily. She stops as she sees one duckling crossing the street, and another duckling comes out from behind a building following it. One by one more ducklings come out, being pushed along by Fluttershy.
A duckling starts to wander off and Fluttershy seems preoccupied, so Sweetie Belle walks over and nudges it gently back into line.
"Oh, thank you Sweetie Belle. They are very lively, and are getting a bit hard to keep in line." Fluttershy admits.
"No problem Miss Fluttershy, I'm happy to help!" Sweetie Belle continues to hum to herself while gently nudging little ducklings back into line every once in a while. Sweetie belle starts to mumble lines of a song while humming and Fluttershy looks at her curiously. Fluttershy steels her resolve and sings a soft note out loud. Sweetie Belle looks at her in shock, Fluttershy just nods at Sweetie to add to it. Sweetie Belle lets loose a similar note, a note just as, if not more, beautiful than Fluttershy's. Fluttershy sings another note and Sweetie Belle copies it, the ducklings stop to listen. Fluttershy sings more wordless notes and Sweetie Belle sings with her.
"So, many things to do,
With some help from you
I'll be sure to get them done,
Then we can have fun.
All thanks to you, thank you for your time, Sweets.
Your companies sublime, Sweets.
Even though you're growing I hope you never change the pony that you are.
Don't change at all." Fluttershy sings, leaving some of her fear behind her.
"What reason have I got to change for?
I've got all I could want, why would I want for more?
I won't change at all!
I want nothing, cause I have it all.
I know my flank is blank, but I won't let this burden bring me down.
What more can I say?
We try every day, without any new breakthroughs." Sweetie Belle continues, leaving her fear as well.
"You've got to just be you.
Just live life and you'll eventually find what you're meant to.
You'll know just what to do.
You'll know what you need and it'll tell you the type of pony that I know you are.
You'll be a star!
You'll shine bright and you'll shine long.
I Just know that you'll be great at whatever you take on.
You'll shine above us all!
If you had nothing, you'd give your all.
And I know that no matter what, you won't let life's burdens bring you down." Fluttershy sings. Whistling a tune before going back into the lyrics.
"You can't go wrong,
You've been waiting for so long." Fluttershy sings.
"And I wonder if I'm on the right track
But I have to face the facts,
It will be worth it all." Sweetie belle adds.
"We all have to wait for our chance,
The chance to show everypony exactly what we are meant for.
We will face it all!
'Till theres nothing to face anymore,
But until then there will always be something trying to bring us down.
We won't let these burdens bring us-
We won't let these burdens bring us down" the two sing together, smiling widely. After a while of silence, Fluttershy speaks up.
"That was great Sweetie Belle, you should sing more often." Fluttershy compliments.
"Oh, no. I couldn't, I'm not that good... but you, you were amazing!" Sweetie Belle responds ecstatically.
"Oh, no. I couldn't, it's really nothing spectacular." Fluttershy responds sheepishly. She stops and looks at the ducklings surrounding them, then she watches as Sweetie Belle pats one on the head softly. It quacks gleefully at the act, Fluttershy smiles softly at this. "You know, Sweetie Belle. I think you should perform sometime," Fluttershy suggests.
"Like, in front of a bunch of people? Singing? Oh, no, I'm not good enough!" Sweetie Belle declines hastily. Fluttershy smiles as she notices something, it's the same way she acts about performing in front of others.
"Sweetie Belle, you're plenty good. I think you just have stage fright, and I know a thing or two about that. I couldn't help you with stage fright, but I can help you with your singing. That way, maybe you might feel confident about your voice so you can perform. And, maybe we can take care of the critters as well," Fluttershy offers. Sweetie belles eyes go wide at the proposition as she takes it in.
"You'll teach me? Like, make me your apprentice? Like Rainbow Dash does for Scootaloo?" Sweetie Belle asks, her grin quickly growing.
"I guess it would be like that. Sure Sweetie, you can be my apprentice." A shiver of pleasure goes down Fluttershy's back as she says it. She's never been someones role model as far as she knows, and she never even thought she'd have an apprentice.
"Yay! Wait for Rarity to hear! She'll be so happy!" Sweetie Belle exclaims happily.
~~~~~~~
"What do you mean she just disappeared?" Scootaloo asks irritatedly.
"I mean that me and my sister lost track of time and when we came to our senses, both Sweetie Belle and Rainbow Dash had left. Without telling us where they were going. So, Scootaloo, they just up and disappeared." Applebloom clarifies for her pegasus friend.
"Well we gotta find her! I have something to tell the two of you!" Scootaloo says eagerly.
"Fine, I assume she'd be at Carousel Boutique. If she's not there we can check Sugarcube corner." Applebloom says, getting up and walking towards the exit to Sweet Apple Acres.
"Why Sugarcube Corner?" Scootaloo asks. "I'd think that if anything, she'd go to the clubhouse." Scootaloo reasons.
"Yeah, well, I have a feeling." Applebloom says, shuddering at the image of Pinkie and Sweetie being similar. Scootaloo doesn't answer and the duo walks to the boutique in silence. The duo enters the door and hear Rarity call out.
"Welcome to Carousel Boutique! I'll be out in a second!" Rarity exclaims loudly.
"It's just us!" Applebloom rolls her eyes, clearly used to the impersonal greeting Rarity gives to her customers.
"Oh, perfect! Could you girls come back here for a second?" Rarity asks loudly. Scootaloo looks at Applebloom questioningly, Applebloom just shrugs before the girls walk back into Rarity's work room. The two enter to find the gaudiest, frilliest dress either of them had ever seen. Scootaloo lets out a stifled gag and Applebloom tries to avert her eyes from the singularity of filly fashion in the middle of the room.
"I don't usually make anything this... pink. I mostly make dresses for older mares, but this commission was for a filly who absolutely adores the color. As fillies, I need your opinion." Rarity says nervously.
"I don't do pink, or dresses. So, I can't help you." Scootaloo insists.
Applebloom keeps her gaze towards the floor, "the customers always right, AJ says. If it's pink she wants, it's pink she gets." Applebloom glances up for a couple of seconds, studying the entire dress. "But, you messed up the stitching around the collar and a couple frills, you might wanna fix those," Applebloom averts her gaze once more, to make sure she doesn't go blind from looking at it too long.
Rarity blinks and then looks over her dress once more, after some searching she finds the mistakes. She looks at Applebloom curiously, "I didn't realize you had such an eye for detail, Applebloom. You looked at this dress for all of five seconds," Rarity says, sounding more than a little surprised.
"I fix the stuff on the farm a lot of the time, including clothes occasionally." Applebloom shrugs, Rarity looks over her almost judgingly. Slowly, Rarity's eyes get peculiar glint in them.
"How would you Iike to further that skill of yours and become my apprentice?" Rarity asks giddily.
"Making dresses? I don't want to make dresses!" Applebloom says.
"You'll be paid handsomely for your efforts. Say, two bits an hour?" Rarity offers, Applebloom stumbles at this. She's never really had a constant income, only a couple bits here and there.
"What about the farm?" Applebloom asks.
"Oh, don't worry. I won't take you away. Just a little bit of work here and there. Probably about ten hours a week. Not consecutively, mind you." Applebloom considers this, it's honestly not that much work. And if she already has a knack for it, she might as well. But, dresses? She's not a tailor! But then again, twenty bits is twenty bits.
"Well, I'd have to ask AJ... but I think I'd like to..." Applebloom answers cautiously.
"Wonderful! You won't regret it!" Rarity says, scooping Applebloom up.
"You're getting paid for your apprenticeship!? I wonder if Twilight will pay me...?" Scootaloo mutters, it doesn't go unnoticed.
"Your Twilight's apprentice?" Applebloom asks in shock, after getting set down by Rarity.
"Agh! You're not supposed to know! I was gonna tell you and Sweetie together! Oh, speaking of, where is she?" Scootaloo looks around as if she would find Sweetie Belle in the room somewhere.
"I haven't the faintest, last I saw she was leaving for the farm. I don't know where she'd go after that. Tell her to be home by five when you see her," Rarity says. "And Applebloom, be sure to tell me what Applejack has to say," with that she turns to fix the gaudy mess she called a dress.
~~~~~~~
Sweetie Belle hops down the streets happily heading towards Carousel Boutique, unaware of the sky blue eyes following her. Sweetie Belle stops suddenly, feeling oddly aware of being watched. She doesn't have long to dwell on this before she feels somepony tackle her into a nearby alley. She would scream if there weren't a hoof covering her mouth.
"Shh, it's me," Sweetie Belle notices Pinkies voice and she stops struggling, puzzling over why Pinkie just kidnapped her. "I'm gonna be quick, so do you want to be my apprentice?" Pinkie asks hurriedly.
"What? Why?" Sweetie Belle whispers, feeling a distinct urge for secrecy.
"I felt that my apprentice was ready, and here you are!" Pinkie exclaims equally as quiet.
"No, why would I be your apprentice, what does that even entail?" Sweetie Belle asks in confusion.
"A select amount of ponies, meaning you, though... it's just you, so I guess it's pony... anyways, a pony is chosen to learn the way of Pinkie." Pinkie Pie says ominously.
"The way of Pinkie? What's that?" Sweetie Belle asks excitedly.
"An ancient art form dating back to whenever I thought of it, to be honest I wasn't keeping records back then." Pinkie Pie shrugs at the admission.
"Oh... but I'm already Fluttershy's apprentice." Sweetie Belle says.
"It's okay, I can share." Pinkie Pie says.
"Oh, then yes, I'd like to be your apprentice and learn the way of Pinkie. But, do I have to keep my training a secret?" Sweetie Belle asks, still whispering.
"No, go ahead and tell anypony you want. I don't even know why we're whispering, I didn't even bring out the secret disguises for a secret meeting of secrecy and secrets." Pinkie Pie pulls out some groucho glasses for emphasis before putting them back. "I'll see you later," Pinkie Pie whispers, hopping out of the alley quietly. Sweetie Belle tries to mimic her, but every hop lets out too much noise. Sweetie Belle sighs at her fifth attempt.
"Looks like I really have a lot to learn!" She exclaims quietly. Before abandoning silence and hopping out of the alley and down the street once more.
~~~~~~~
I walk down a street idly, a little offput by the events of today. It was a great day full of happy surprises, but it just feels empty. Now that I have my cutie mark, I know who I am. Rarity was offering etiquette lessons that I gladly took up, she was also going to help me train my voice. It's real nice of her to help me, I could have sworn Rarity would be among the ponies to hate me at the beginning of this. I trusted Applejack more and look where that led me. But, she did apologize, along with my dad. Those two have always had somewhat of a short fuse anyway, I guess I should have thought about that.
But, not even Diamond Tiara was willing to tease me about it, and that's new. She teases us for anything that might be a sign of weakness, and plenty of people think that. So, why not her? I can't help but feel there's something more to it, but I'd rather not delve into her personal life.
But now after all the excitement, everything seems kinda... boring. Like something bigger should have happened. Like this whole thing was building up, and then it just deflated prematurely instead of exploding. Not to say I'm not glad that the whole ordeal didn't get worse, I'm just confused by it. Usually when someone has a life changing experience, it seems like nothing will ever be the same for them. But here I am, walking the streets, the exact same way I always have. Sure, there were a couple of questions every once in a while about the hair and eyes, but nothing really changed.
We're still the crusaders, and we're still trying to find out who we are. Or, in my case, what it means to me. We're still gonna crusade. We're still friends. We still go to school. Diamond Tiara will still be a bully. My mother still loves me. Everything is still as it was.
Well, maybe some things are different. My father isn't trying to enforce stallioness anymore, he's letting mom feminize me. He still wants to do some of the things we used to, and I do to, so we're not alienated. He just feels a little awkward about the whole situation. He won't tell me why. Mom seems to know, but she won't tell me either. I'm sure I don't have to worry, I'm just concerned for him.
But, all in all, things aren't bad. Their honestly not even that different, as I've said before. And I come back to this feeling of incompleteness. I don't know what it is, but maybe there should be more to this moment in my life. It sure seems like there should be, it's an important part in my life after all. After you get a cutie mark, isn't there some big change in how you live? Aren't you supposed to focus all your efforts on your sole talent?
It may be my talent, but just because it's what I'm best at I'm only supposed to do that? No, that can't be right. Look at Twilight, her talent is magic; yet, she knows so much. And Fluttershy can really sing! And... I guess I never really thought about that. Have we been so focused on finding the one thing we were good at that we assumed it's the only thing we can do? That it's our only destiny?
"Hey, Star!" I look to the side and find Sweetie Belle hopping up.
"Hey, Sweetie." I say, attempting to put a little cheer in my tone. Sweetie Belle notices as I fail tremendously, she stops hopping next to me and looks at me in concern.
"Is something wrong?" Sweetie Belle asks.
"Not really," I say halfheartedly.
"I'm not sure I believe you... c'mon Star, you can tell me anything. You know that," Sweetie Belle nudges my shoulder playfully.
"I know, It's just... slow. I guess I figured that life would just speed up and make sense with a cutie mark, but everything seems about the same." I shrug noncommittally.
"Star, it's not a cutie mark that decides change. The cutie mark just tells you a direction. It's your choice whether to do anything about it. I know a pony personally that is going against what her cutie mark is telling her. A cutie mark may be your destiny, but that doesn't really mean anything other than a path you can follow." Sweetie Belle says.
"Couldn't have said it better myself," Applebloom agrees, I look over Sweetie Belles shoulder at Applebloom and Scootaloo. "Where the heck were you Sweetie, we checked the clubhouse, boutique, sugarcube corner..." Applebloom says.
"I was helping Fluttershy! I'm her apprentice now, Pinkies too!" Sweetie Belle exclaims.
"Really? Twilight took me as her apprentice too! Now I'm Twilights and Rainbows apprentice, isn't that cool!?" Scootaloo says excitedly.
"Twilights? As in, studying?" I ask, tilting my head at Scootaloo. Scootaloo absolutely hates school work, why would she study?
"Yeah, you got a problem with that?" Scootaloo challenges.
"No, no problem here," I wave my hoofs frantically, trying to diffuse the situation.
"Good," Scootaloo says, satisfied.
"I reckon I got a job now, Rarity called it an apprenticeship. A paid apprenticeship," Applebloom grumbles.
"Rarity? As in, making dresses?" I ask in surprise. Applebloom isn't prissy, or into fashion.
"Yeah, AJ said it was alright. We ran into her when we were looking for you," Applebloom points an accusatory hoof at Sweetie Belle.
"And it's a job? That's great Applebloom!" I embrace my friend in a giant hug. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo join in, then we break the hug up.
"Apprenticeships, huh? I guess I'm sorta Rarity's apprentice, huh? She offered to help me with some stuff... you think Fluttershy would take me in as her apprentice too? Her being a former model and all..." I trail off in thought.
"I don't know... let's go ask!" Sweetie Belle says excitedly, I beam at her enthusiasm. We all turn towards the direction of Fluttershy's cottage, but I hang behind. I look at my three friends, all three smiling and moving as a group. They stop and all look back at me, "hurry up, Star!" Sweetie Belle calls back. I shake my head and catch up. After all this, we're still doing things together, some things really haven't changed. Everything is as it should be, you really don't need to change everything when you're making adjustments.
