Author's Note
So, I got bored and decided to write outside of my comfort zone. So, I chose Romance and Comedy. I'm usually much better at writing adventure-action type stuff, but I was starting to bore myself with it. I felt like M. Night Shamylan stuck in an elevator with Michael Bay and Steven Speilburg who were trying to write a Chris Nolan movie.
Is that a good analogy? Meh, I don't care.
Granted, this is my first story on FimFiction, but I've written others on this site before, but took 'em down because I either didn't update them at all or simply got bored of them.
Please give me feedback, positive or negative. Hopefully some constructive criticism. All of your comments keep me going.
Thanks for reading!
The Best Idea Ever
"DISCORD!!"
The abrupt, glass-shattering pierce of the scream that came from the princesses was enough to make any pony in ear shot think the mischievous draconequus had replaced their hair with spiderwebs with the spiders still on them. Perhaps Discord had turned the floors of the castle into maple syrup and the ceilings into half-chewed gum? Or maybe he had turned the princesses' many statues in the gardens to life and made them terrorize the guards with ceaseless amounts of bad opera singing? All would be excellent guesses, but none would come close to what he had REALLY done to the two sisters.
It had started when Discord was waiting in the throne room for Celestia so he could do his little monthly checkup. Granted, he didn't really have to attend them anymore, but he still enjoyed pestering the princess of the sun with annoyingly playful nonsense from time to time. So, the embodiment of chaos sat there in the throne room, curled up with a copy of "How to Make Friends Without Really Trying", waiting for Celestia and Luna's return from her banquet. However, this banquet was different from most of her others. Instead of the usual upper-class citizens they often held a banquet for, Celestia and Luna decided to have lunch in the most public of places in all of Canterlot - the Starswirl the Bearded Public Park for Imaginative Learning.
Or you could just refer to it as "the park", ponies would still know what you're talking about.
So, Discord sat there waiting and waiting... until he heard a near barbaric shout come from behind the massive double doors at the far end of the room.
"That was HORRIBLE!"
Judging by the amount of force and emphasis that was placed in those three words, Discord assumed that it was Luna who had shouted with distress. Discord also assumed that this would mean something interesting was about unfold. So with a swift snap of his fingers, he made his hardcover book disappear and himself form into the structure of the stained glass windows.
Just as he had contorted his body to match with the picture in the glass, the doors burst open with Luna entering first, and Celestia behind suit. They trotted right past the window Discord had cloaked himself in (seriously, he had done this countless times before; why don't they check the windows? Have they learned anything?) and straight to the steps below where they sat with a heavy grief.
"I can't believe how inconsiderate we looked back there!" Luna sulked with her head hung.
"Come now, Luna. It wasn't that bad," Celestia tried to cheer, but didn't seem to believe in her own words. "I'm sure the locals thought nothing of our behavior."
"I'm afraid I highly disagree with you, sister. You must've not seen the looks of disgust on the faces of those ponies."
Hmm, interesting. Discord thought to himself. The two royal princesses having behavioral issues? This could be a rather amusing spectacle to hear. Now ever since the Tirek incident a few months ago, Discord had been on his sharpest behavior. He hadn't used his magic in any ill-will and had kept his 'playfulness' to a minimum. That being said, he still managed to enjoy himself in some forms of chaos. He may not have been the one causing it, but Discord still enjoyed being a spectator.
"I felt like such a fool, Celestia!" Luna continued. "I acted as if I knew what these ponies went through everyday, but I don't truly understand them."
"I'm afraid I am to blame for this as well," Celestia admitted with a sigh. "I too portrayed myself to know what it is like to be a commoner, but I suffer from the spoils of royalty to truly understand." There was a short silence that followed with Luna glancing back up at her sister, a small smile present on her muzzle.
"Do you remember when we used be like that?"
Celestia shock her a look of confusion. "What do you mean, Luna?" The princess of the night then glanced back up at the ceiling, nostalgia slowly seeping into her.
"I mean, do you have any memories of how we were like those ponies that we saw in the park?"
"I'm afraid I don't," Celestia responded rather quickly. "We've always been a part of the royal family. We've no idea what it is like to have financial troubles or ailments of the common folk."
"Maybe not financial issues... but we were young once before, sister. We used to be like those ponies. Socially fluent, always in tune with the community, had those young mare problems. What I mean is that we used to understand what it was like to be common, even if we were royalty."
A smile crept onto Celestia's lips as she had thought back to her youth. "Yes, we were normal, weren't we?" Then that smile had vanished almost as fast as it had appeared. "But we're not that kind of pony anymore, and as much as I would like to believe that we can comprehend what the life of an average civilian is, we haven't the slightest idea anymore." Luna's memory fueled smile quickly faded, being replaced by a frown of defeat.
"Yes, I know. It just pains me to be so out of touch with our subjects. I only wish that we could have that understanding once more."
"Yes, if only we could be young again once more and have a chance to understand our ponies."
Discord was now beginning to feel something... foreign. Well, not completely foreign, but it was definitely rare. It was like his chest was tugging out at him, ripping and pulling and begging to be released. It was strange, really. What was that thing Fluttershy had taught him about feelings? It was something specific... empathy... or was it sympathy?... Oh, whatever. Same thing in his mind. He saw how depressed this lack of social recognition obviously made the two princesses, and whatever happened at this banquet must've triggered it somehow.
Now, it was time to plan. Plan for what, though? Discord thought. I normally have no obsessive need to help anypony, but this empathy inside me just seems to say otherwise. Or sympathy. Or- Damn it, who cares! Let's just sedate it and help Celestia and Luna. With that last thought, Discord pushed himself out of the window, hovering above the alicorns.
"Well, maybe you can."
Discord's booming voice caught the attention of the princesses, standing firmly to his descending figure. They had quickly managed to regain their professional composure, but it was utterly pointless.
"Oh, why hello, Discord," Celestia greeted with a forced grin. "Here for your usual behavioral analysis, I assume?"
"Well I was here to meet with you once more and perhaps make your life a bit more 'fun', but it appears I've found something else to occupy myself with," Discord said, shrugging off the minor glare that Luna seemed to be drilling him with.
"And what is this object you have found yourself so appealed to?" Luna questioned, her glare hardening.
"Well you see, it's not really an object I'm speaking of," he replied as he came to eye level with both alicorns. "It's more of an... idea; an idea that can benefit some special friends of mine very greatly." Discord then summoned a chocolate bar that was taller than him and broke a piece off, chomping into it carelessly. He swallowed and held out the chunk in his claw. "Chocolate, ladies?"
"We're fine," Luna stated a bit forcefully. "I'm actually more interested in hearing your 'idea' and who it effects." Discord then snapped his fingers, making the chocolate disappear. He then looked at the princess of the night with an obviously fake set of puppy dog eyes.
"Oh, Luna. You say that like I'm planning some dastardly deed that'll leave the whole world in shambles... I'm hurt..." Discord then shot up like a spring and held his arms out wide. "But no matter! If you really desire to know who this'll be benefiting, then I'll tell you." He then turned himself into a giant mirror facing Celestia and Luna. They both took a second to comprehend before it hit them like a sack of bricks.
"Us??" both the princesses stated in unison.
"YES!" Discord cheered as he reverted back to his default appearance while making confetti cannons burst behind him. "My desire is to aid you both in something you seem to be lacking very much of."
"And what would that be, Discord?" Celestia inquired, shaking off leftover confetti particles from her wings. "We have intensely vast knowledge of the world around us, we have an unnecessarily massive amount of wealth, and we have the loyalty of all our ponies and others than dwell across the land. So I'm sorry to say Discord, but I'm afraid I don't know what we are lacking. Care to enlighten us?"
Discord's smile slowly crept into what used to only show whenever he had a disharmonious plot ready to be engaged. Least to say, it worried both the princesses quite a bit. He then stared at them intently before he spoke in an almost wise and intellectual pattern.
"Celestia, Luna, what you both lack is something that you both seem to desire most: identification." The two ladies in question shot him a glance of confusion, to which Discord's smile grew. "Allow me to elaborate. You see, you two girls are royalty. You have anything and everything that anypony could even imagine to crave for; fame, fortune, and the sweet love and admiration of your little ponies. However, you're beginning to feel guilty - not because of wealth or fame, but because you can't sympathize with your ponyfolk anymore. You desire to understand them and comprehend the difficulties they suffer with on a daily basis. So, in layman's terms, you simply wish to 'get it'."
Neither of them could deny it. Discord had hit the nail on the head, and that nail a rusty and loose one at that.
"How-how did you know, Discord?" Celestia questioned.
"Oh, I simply eavesdropped."
Discord, you troll. The angering glares he received from the ponies was fiery enough to melt Tartarus and make lava evaporate. Oh, he just love seeing their cute little faces whenever they were angry. I should do this more often, he thought while suppressing the giddy laughter that built up in his throat. Oh gosh, this isn't even about empathy anymore. Just seeing them like this is enough to fill up my joy meter for the week. Yet, I still do feel sorry for these two. I really should help them, though. But what to do?...Wait... Ah HA! I got it!
Finally, the chuckle inducing looks of the ponies simmered down, allowing Celestia to speak with clarity.
"Discord, you know you've been taught better," the solar deity shunned Discord like a mother, but it had no affect on him whatsoever.
"Perhaps Sun-butt, but Applejack has taught me that honesty is the best policy, and I wouldn't want to disappoint her." He then rose up and clapped his hands together twice like he turning on one of those clap-on lamps, and within a second, a large book shelf appeared out of a pillow of smoke. "And speaking of those good friends of mine, Miss Element of Magic herself, Twilight Sparkle, gifted me a book as a symbol of our reestablished friendship."
Discord then reached up and pulled out a medium-sized, brown leather covered book. "Ah, 'The Ancient Spell Book of Physical Metamorphosis: A Scripture About Physical Mutations and So Forth '. Quite a dandy little stack of pages, wouldn't you say?"
"Discord, what do you plan to-"
"TRANSPIRITUS, CONFOMITUS, FORMALIUM!!" Discord shouted from the top of his lungs, cutting off the concerned Princess Luna.
Suddenly, the two alicorns were slowly being covered in a blanket of bright green light, encasing them from horn to hoof.
And now, here they were.
Sure, Discord should've asked them what happened at the banquet in the park. Sure, he should've asked their permission if he could cast a spell on them. And SURE, he probably should've informed them that the spell he was casting was going to make them look like young mares again.
But what would be the chaos in that? After all, the looks on their faces before they were encased in the light was priceless.
Worth every bit of lecture I'm going to receive.
Author's Note
Hello . . . sorry for the long update.
I could give excuses for why this took HALF A BUCKING YEAR to write. I could say something about my family having troubles, or me lacking inspiration, or some crud about me having a dinky computer . . . but I won't.
You guys don't deserve that.
I'll update this again by the end of the month, I promise. If I don't, then feel free to delete this from your favorites/liked in your library.
Please give me some feedback, positive or negative, it's always appreciated.
Stay beautiful, everyone.
Ground Rules
Their manes were no longer the sparkling auras that they once were, being replaced with shorter, silky hairs that shined bright against the sun, and their tails matched them as well. Celestia and Luna's mane and tail colors stayed how they were, but the structure had reverted to that of a normal pony's. Their normally towering height was shrunken down by nearly a quarter. Granted, they were still pretty tall, especially for mares. The regalia and metal shoes they wore became over-sized, but still managed to remain on their petite and slender frames. Their muzzles had shortened as well, but not enough to be too noticeable. However, the most eye-popping feature was the lack of wings on their backs.
If they had taken a good long look at themselves, they would've been undeniably impressed with the quality of Discord's physical transformation spell... and maybe if they weren't shouting at him for casting it in the first place.
"DISCORD!!"
The draconequus sat back, admiring his work from a safe distance. And by 'safe distance', he thinks flying high up against the ceiling, now that they couldn't fly. However, Luna hadn't quite taken that into account and managed to fall flat on her face when she hopped up in the air, attempting to fly.
Oh my, he thought, stifling a laughter. That spell was no prank writing written by a filly on a boring day - it was the real deal! I must admit, I was half expecting it to fail and turn them into a cake or something... with frosting... and a mint chocolate chip filling... with a side of chocolate dipped french fries... and- Damn, now I'm hungry. He then slowly descended, still maintaining his distance from the princesses.
"Discord, what have you done?!" Celestia demanded to know. "Why have me and my sister transformed into what appear to be younger versions of ourselves??"
"Well, princess," Discord started, clasping his hands together. "You see, that spell was called the 'Quarterly Youth Refurbishment'. It basically turned that big hand back on Father Time about a million fold until you reached what the creator deemed to be the prime age of youth. So now you may be actually thousands of years old in reality, but you give off the physical appearance of twenty-year old mares. Yet, even I'm surprised at the detail in it. I honestly didn't expect your manes to revert back to those beautifully youthful hues."
Ignoring the rather flushing compliment, Celestia continued forth. "Why?" she asked with her authoritative force.
"YES, WHY HAST THOU CAST THIS SPELL UPON US?!?!" Luna added.
Gee, that royal Canterlot voice hasn't lost its charm, Discord thought as he cleaned out his left ear with a q-tip forged from his pinky finger on his claw.
"Well, my dear. You had told me that you wished to understand what it's like to be a commoner. By turning you both into one of them, I have given you a chance to do just that!"
In Discord's mind, he was having trouble deciding whether he had cast that spell to help his two dear friends like the empathy told him to, or to simply get an ecstatic kick out of seeing their reactions. Eh, he'll just mark it up as a win for both. In Celestia's mind, she was trying to wrap her head around Discord's plot, trying to understand why he was doing what he was doing. In Luna's mind, she had jumped straight to one conclusion.
"Sister! He has stripped us of our alicorn magic! Discord, you scoundrel! You plan on taking over the throne again and causing eternal chaos once more, don't you?!"
Celestia had not thought of it before, but Luna did have a plausible plaint. In fact, if Discord wasn't reformed, he probably would've matched Luna's accusation. However, this chaos god had learned from his mistakes. That being said, he could see how Luna would jump to that conclusion, being that he was admittedly not completely innocent all the time. He still turned food items into spontaneous explosions sometimes, and he would sometimes toy with the princesses as well as other ponies, AND he did do that one thing with the bread sticks at the diner in Fillydelphia (he nor Fluttershy would rather talk about it), but he was still a good soul in the end. That, and there was one critical fact that would turn Luna's assumption on it's head.
"No no no no no, my dear Luna. I know it may appear that I have taken your alicorn magic from you, but if you take a second to check yourself, you'll still feel that powerful surge of magic inside of you." Luna slowly started to simmer down as Discord resumed his explanation. "You see, my plan is to have you two ladies live the life of the ordinary pony, the average Joe. However, that doesn't mean that ALL of your royal duties can be shirked. You'll still need to raise the sun and the moon, so I used a spell that would only change you physically."
"Yes, well speaking of physically..." Celestia stated, glancing back at he wingless back. Discord quickly took the hint.
"Ah yes, that brings me to my second point. You ladies can't be walking around town as alicorns. It'll draw way too much attention. That's why I had the genius of making you unicorns instead of pegasi or earth ponies - so you could maintain your alicorn magical abilities while staying incognito. Yes, I threw in that little tidbit with the spell I put on you, courtesy of yours truly. Pretty clever aren't I?"
"Discord, you don't seem to understand." Celestia began to correct. "We can't simply vanish from our positions as princesses of Equestria. The entire country could go into panic!"
"A-a-ah! I'm already ahead of you!" Discord replied confidently as he pulled out a pickle jar from nopony knows (and probably doesn't want to know). He then began his attempt to open the jar, struggling and grunting without success. "Sorry, these things are a bit um, stiff and- TA-DA!" Discord finally managed to rip the top off the glass and allowed a large flare of colors to be released. That flare slowly but surely began to look like a draconequus. It shouldn't take more than one guess to say who it looked like. "Ladies, meet Discord #2!"
"The one and only!" the clone responded gleefully.
"Don't ya mean the TWO and only?" the original grinned.
"What do you mean? There would have to be two of me for that to be true," Discord #2 retorted, gaining a chuckle from the both of them.
"Oh, wonderful. Now there's two of them," Luna grumbled in sarcasm, still getting adjusted to her new body.
"I'm afraid I don't follow," Celestia stated confusedly. Discord then grinned, obviously thinking of his plan as satisfyingly infallible.
"Okay, just sit back and watch, Solar-Flank," #2 said with a playful smirk.
Splendid. His clone also has his same charming childlike attitude, Celestia thought in silence, observing the spectacle before her. The two Discords were beginning to do all sorts of unrealistically horrifying things to their bodies. There was a point where they were folding their legs like it was paper, or snapping their rib cages like it was a bundle of twigs, or pulling their horns out through their mouths. It... was a petrifying display to say the least. The most annoying part of it all? It was in total completely unnecessary since they could have just 'POOF'ed into what they were transforming into.
Once they were finally finished, the princesses stared in awe at what the deity and his doppelganger had become.
"Introducing the ROYAL SISTERS!!" Discord, now a Celestia look-alike, chanted loudly with the most ridiculous expression a Celestia face could form.
"And we're looking FABULOUS!!" #2, now a Luna look-alike, shouted like a complete diva.
Celestia pulled herself together and quickly saw Discord's foil. "You and this clone are going to pose as my sister and I?"
"Of course!" he replied with an ecstatic shout of joy. "At least until-"
"This is foolish, Discord," Celestia interrupted, obviously not keen to his idea. "This will not work. While I admit that it had some merit at first, there is no way it could possibly succeed. I could quickly get used to the idea of being a young mare again, and to the thought of being among my ponies as an average civilian, but seeing you and your friend here pose as Luna and I has given me the kick in the backside I needed to say NO." Celestia was steaming with irritation. but still kept her professionalism intact... for the time being. "Now, I demand that you change us back to our proper forms at once."
Discord frowned as he 'POOF'ed back into his normal appearance, making his clone disappear in the process. He looked at Celestia with a blank disappointment.
"You see Celestia, THAT will be a problem."
"And why will it?" Luna interrogated the draconequus. Discord glanced over to Luna and folded his hands in front of him, remaining perfectly calm.
"How do I explain this?... Tell me, Luna. What was the name of the spell I said I cast on you?"
The princess thought for a moment, then spoke curiously. "Quarterly Youth Refurbishment?"
"Precisely," he continued. "And do you know why it is called that?" Luna shook her head in response, regretting her desire to understand. "Well, the 'Quarterly' part refers to part of a year, as in three months. You see, whoever designed this spell meant for it to be impenetrable by any forms of magic, even my own. So, the only way for the spell to be released is to... wait out the clock!"
"Damn you, Discord!" Luna bellowed, her anger harshly contained. She followed with a calm sigh, but her scowl not softening in the slightest. "You know, if you really insisted on us following this plan through, why didn't you simply turn us like this with your own magic? Why did you use a spell? It seems unlike you to use organized sorcery."
Discord tapped his fingers together, still to pleased with his ploy. "To answer your first question, my magic, while as entertaining and extravagant as it is, can be easily reversed or reformatted by magic as powerful as either of yours. The irreversible part of the entire thing was to give you some... incentive." He then floated closer to the night princess, almost whisper level. "As for the second question, well it makes me feel especially proud of myself when I use a spell Order to create even a little bit of chaos. Oh, it just makes me GIDDY inside!" He let out a long chuckle that only a foal would produce in successful prank. There was no difference to Luna or Celestia, however.
"Discord, you've forgotten another crucial feature to this magnificent plan of yours," Celestia stated, a small smirk escaping her muzzle. "Our cutie marks. As you know, every mark is distinct in shape and features. It doesn't matter how different our appearances look, our flanks will give us away."
As much as Discord wanted to giggle at that last sentence, he sustained himself and looked at their marks, as they were still there. Celestia's singular sun was unmistakable no matter how simple it was; likewise with Luna's crescent shaped moon. While basic, it was still iconic. Discord scratched his chin while he considered it, and like their cutie marks, it was simple.
"Oh, that's an easy fix." Discord snapped his digits again and another POOF was heard from the mare's flanks. When they looked back, they had noticed what the pesky draconequus had done.
Celestia's flank now held as a cutie mark... a paint brush and paint pallet? Luna now had... a guitar with a microphone?
"Huh?" both the alicorns muttered as they looked between their flanks and the draconequus with confusion plastered all over their faces.
"Why have you chosen... these to be our temporary cutie marks, Discord?" Luna questioned harshly, but Discord simply shook his head in disappointment.
"Oh, come on now, Luna. I thought you would have gained at least a basic clue from my image choice." Luna stared him down along with Celestia. "Nothing? Well, perhaps your memories aren't as keen as I presumed them to be. I've been around for just as long as the both of you, all the way back to when you both started your rule. And as I think back to the times before you two gained the crown, I remember vividly what your personalities were like." He glanced at Celestia, his cheery smirk restored. "Miss Sun-butt over here was massive art enthusiast, always observing artists at work and admiring their ability to translate their perspective onto paper or marble or wall or whatever." He then switched to Luna who sat uneasily. "And Luna, obsessed with the magic of music and the impact it had on the soul. You were always so captivated by music's abilities to heal, hurt, encourage, enrage, sadden and uplift." Discord floated back, leaving the two to have sudden flashes of their old lives from eons ago. "So you see, your new cutie marks form to your lives as young ponies. Being as though you'll be living among them for a while, I figured it must be a perfect fit."
"Oh, Discord! This plan is feckless and foolish!" Luna lectured the deity, still not caring for the plan one bit. She turned to her sister. "There is no way in a million lifetimes that this will work, sister. We should just begin a search for a spell that can reverse the Refurbishment."
Luna turned around and began to trot down the hallway. She looked back and noticed that her sister was not following her. "Celestia?"
"We could always take a small portion from the Royal Funds . . . the tellers would hardly even notice," the sun princess murmured, barely loud enough for Luna to hear.
Someone must really care about me to be sending me so many gifts in one day, Discord mused as he saw the gut-busting expression Luna displayed as she trotted back up to her sister.
"You can't be serious, Celestia?" Luna barked in a hushed tone, jolted from the sudden consideration. "You aren't actually contemplating such reckless scheme, are you?"
"It's not as reckless as it seems," she responded, her tone becoming firm once more. "It only appears so because it's Discord's idea." The draconequus gave an unnoticeable bow in reply. "When you actually sit back for a minute and think about it . . . the plan has more merit than it should."
"Celestia!" Luna found herself riddled with even more shock. She quickly composed herself before saying, "I wish to relate to my ponies as well. I really, truly do. However, I'm not willing to stoop down to the expense of such a ludicrous ploy that is more gaudy than it is competent."
Celestia remained silent to her sister's reasoning, intensively processing Discord's idea even further. Meanwhile, Discord himself was doing some thinking of his own.
Honestly, I have no idea if this plan will work anymore. And frankly, I don't really care. This has gone from a empathetic try at providing friendly assistance into a completely self-driven desire to see some implied chaos among royalty. Ah, the good life. I've got Celestia in the loop, now I just need to secure Luna. Shouldn't be too hard. I can already see the desire within her. All she needs is a sentimental push. All right, Discord - GAME FACE.
"Luna, please hear your sister out," Discord said in a rather suave, yet somber timbre. It's sudden reveal drew Luna's full attention. "Celestia wishes to understand her subjects. She wants to know how they feel. The best way to comprehend a common pony is to be one, and she knows this. It's also a chance to relive youth, to get a taste of what it used to be like to just a young mare in the big world we live in." He swooped in and placed his paw under Celestia's chin for good measure, to which she only turned to him neutrally. "To experience the prime of one's life just once more, she desires it so. However, you and I know, Luna, that she will not do such a daring escape into youthful nirvana alone. If you do not go, neither will she."
Celestia released a defeated sigh before she glanced back over to her sister, who looked back at her with pleading eyes. "He's right, Luna. As childish and immature as it may seem, I do wish to escape this pale existence for a while. And after witnessing our behaviors at the banquet today, it's given me a good enough cause to venture on back into my minority. I understand if you do not want to even entertain the idea, Luna. I only ask that you understand."
Luna bit her lip hard, almost enough to make herself bleed. Discord had hit her in the one soft spot that he knew she had: Celestia. Even worse, Celestia seemed to play along with Discord's little coaxing strategy. The nightly monarch breathed her own sigh of defeat as she looked back at Discord.
"Three months?"
"Three months, and the spell dissolves from your form."
". . . Okay." She stared back at her elder sibling gently. "Are sure you really want to try this?"
"Yes, Luna. As ill-advised as it is, I want to make the attempt."
"Alright then. Discord . . . Celestia and I agree to your arrangement-"
Suddenly, a large explosion of confetti and noise makers filled the area as Discord encircled the two sisters in an uninvited group hug.
"HOORAY!! Oh, I can already tell you two will make excellent young mares in the city!"
"DISCORD!! WE DEMAND THAT YOU RELEASE US AT ONCE!!"
The royal Canterlot voice, always so effective.
The draconequus relinquished the princesses from his grasp as he covered his mouth in (faux) shock. "Oh, that's right! You'll need accommodations!" Discord sprinted away to seemingly nowhere and returned with a leather satchel that he viciously dug into and began to toss things out to Luna and Celestia one by one.
"Here's two keys to a two-room apartment in East Canterlot near the Theatre District. The place is kind of a mess and by no means living up to the expectations of royalty, but that would be against the point, wouldn't it? Next, a notepad with a list of all the hottest spots in the city, including pubs, excluding clubs. I figured you ladies would want to enjoy your commoner lives with some common activities. Then, we have seven thousand bits in one extra large pouch, courtesy of the Canterlot Bank, but I suggest a part-time job to get the FULL experience. Let's see, a sixteen-shade pencil set and 20x16 canvas with complimentary paper for Celestia, an acoustic guitar made of authentic ivory wood for Luna . . . oh, and the leather bag to carry it all in!"
At the snap of his claws, (before the princesses had a chance to pick up the load of objects Discord had granted them) a large portal opened up beneath their hooves.
And from there, gravity took over.
"AAAAAHHH!!"
"And may I suggest, ladies, getting some new aliases! CELESTIA AND LUNA ARE BOTH POPULAR NAMES AROUND CANTERLOT!" Discord shouted down the hole, his voice growing louder and louder as they plummeted even further downward. Confident that they had heard him, Discord shut the portal with a dusting of his claws.
Rather immediately, Discord #2 reappeared with a static poof behind the original.
"Now what?" he asked rhetorically.
"Now? Now comes the real fun, 2."
The two draconeqi chuckled mischievously as their forms slowly took to that of the solar and lunar monarchs of Equestria.
