How I Met My Pony

by Something Epic

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, DJ P0N-3, Human, Main 6, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 40966

Nine humans. Nine Mares. Normal Lives. That's all about to change!

This has nothing to do with Ponyfall. Please, don't confuse our story with that. This is just something we're doing for fun.

This is a collaboration between nine authors:
Marcus: Sartarus
Isaac: Inoeitall
Doug: Gyrofest96
Kasper: Glassed
Coal: Coal Buck
Ryan: RaiderRy4n
Benjamin: The Producer
Camron: Frostbite
Kyle: k12314

Published 2012-04-12 14:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-07 04:38:58 UTC

Culture Shock

The group of men all stood there, the last remnants of their laughs dying away as Camron turned back to Ben, and said, “Hey bud, glad to see you going out some more. Maybe you’ll get your name around, and we’ll be going out a lot more on occasions like this.” Camron reached up to pat him on the shoulder and added, “Maybe you’re not such a shut-in after all. Anyway... why did we come out here? You’re not one for eating out.”

Ben just grunted, shrugging his massive shoulders, and replied, “Well, we need some new equipment. The treadmills are out of commission ever since the ‘incident’ with Doug and his Kool-aid. I don’t think I can go on much longer without them.”

The group shuddered, remembering the aftermath of what used to be Doug’s afternoon drink... with a supersoaker.

“That’s why I’m here,” sighed Ben. “And you’re coming with me because you’re the condo’s sugardaddy. I’m gonna need some help paying for this stuff. I’m broke.” He ended this with a glare, directed at Doug.

Camron intercepted Ben’s gaze by stepping between him and Doug, saying to Ben, “Don’t worry about it, mate. You shouldn’t feel bad at all. What are friends for?”

Ben just sighed and walked down the hallway, towards the equipment shop, ‘Muscles and Weights’. Camron shrugged and scurried in after him, struggling to keep up with Ben’s larger strides.

Marcus sighed at the retreating duo. He scratched the back of his neck and turned to Doug. “Seeing as how you already made some trouble earlier, I guess you’ll have to stick with me while I make my patrol.”

Doug groaned in protest and crossed his arms. “Man... you gotta admit it was funny at the time! I mean... who knew that Kool-aid was so sticky! It was all OVER the place.” He giggled to himself, basking in the memories of what he would call a productive day. A single look at Marcus’s venom-filled expression cut his flashback short. He sighed deeply. “OK, I’ll go with you...” Dejectedly, Doug followed after Marcus.

Isaac turned to face the remainder of the group. “You guys have anything else to say, or are we done? The mall holds no attraction for me. Too much noise.” Everyone else just shrugged, and Isaac nodded in response. “Alright, well, if y’all need me, I’ll be at the park. I’m out.” He turned on his heels and walked off, one hand raised lazily to say goodbye.

Kyle looked to Ryan, who just nodded with a twinkle in his eye. As they walked away, a big grin grew on Kyle’s face. “So, Ryan... Wanna hear a story from my days in Mock Trial?”

Ryan’s eyes shone with anticipation, and for a moment, he stopped shuffling his cards. “Hmm... let me just have a thi- YES.”

Kyle took in a deep breath and started talking, “Did I ever tell you about that time where I busted my coffee cup from slamming it on the desk too hard?” Their conversation faded out over the drone of the other people in the mall.

Only Coal and Kasper remained, unsure of what to do next. “Listen Coal, buddy. How long has it been since you’ve had a break?” Kasper asked with a raised eyebrow.

Coal simply turned his head towards him, “Well, I just had one,” he stated. He pointed to the tie hanging loosely around his neck, and the button at his collar that was undone.

Kasper began shaking his head and waving his hands, his headphone wires flailing around madly. “Nonononono, a real break! Not just a stop at Starbucks. You need to loosen up man, else you’ll die before your time!” He said in an overly dramatic tone.

Coal groaned and rubbed his bearded face. “Fine... Where d’ya wanna go?”

Kasper’s usual smile turned into one of his trademark grins. “Oh, I know just the place! TO THE ARCADE!” He yelled that last part while throwing his fist in the air. The sudden outburst attracted the attention of several random bystanders, who shook their head and continued on their way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, in the parking lot of the mall, Twilight and Pinkie Pie both woke up. They rubbed their heads, fighting the waves of dizziness. The two Equestrians didn’t recognize where they were at first.

Pinkie looked around and asked, “Oh hey Twi- Twilight? Is that you?”

They took a moment to take in their new bodies. Twilight was of a slim build with a slight olive hue to her skin. She retained her indigo hair and pink highlights, but her coat of fur was gone. She now wore a purple polo shirt with a black skirt. Simple black flats adorned her feet. Pinkie, on the other hand, wore a pink sweater with a white collared shirt underneath. She had white shorts and wore bubblegum pink converses.

Twilight grinned with a twinkle in her eye. “It worked! I can hardly believe it! I mean, this is just like what it said in the books, but WOW! Living it is sure different than I expected. This all feels so natural!” Twilight observed her new fingers by wiggling them with a silly smirk plastered across her face.

Pinkie looked down and observed herself as well by twirling in a circle. “Wowie! Twilight? Where are we? And where’s everypo- Everybody else?” Pinkie smiled at the opportunity to use such a strange word without causing confusion.

Twilight dusted off her skirt, and gave the area a quick scan. Her eyebrows shot up. “Um... To be completely honest, I have no idea. I was aiming for us to arrive in the mall, but it looks like we were separated. Everyone should be fairly close by.” She looked back to Pinkie, who had somehow climbed on top of a street light despite having never possessed fingers before. “Pinkie, what are you doing?”

Pinkie put her hand up to shield her eyes from the sun, adopting the characteristic I’m-on-a-pole-and-I’m-searching position. “Having a little lookie-loo... Hey! Look! That’s the mall over there! What if the Man 9 are in there?”

Twilight grinned, and looked towards the mall. She didn’t recognize it from ground level; she’d never seen it at that angle before. “Well then, Pinkie... Allons~y!”

“Heehee! That’s not a bad Kyle impression, Twi!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AJ and Vinyl both shot up from their seats. They were, apparently, sitting at a table in a restaurant.

Vinyl was the first to speak. “AJ? Is that you?” She peered at the tanned, blonde woman sitting across from her, wearing an orange checkered shirt with jeans. Her signature Stetson still sat stubbornly atop her head, though it sat a little lower now without pony ears holding it up.

“Vinyl?” The blonde woman’s eyebrows shot up at the question. Her DJ friend was now a pale, thin woman, though she still supported her characteristic neon blue hair. She now wore a white tank top with black cargo pants. Her sunglasses came through the transformation untouched, along with the addition of headphones around her neck.

Vinyl Scratch nodded in affirmation of her identity. “This is so awesome; I can’t believe it actually worked!” She looked around, then gasped in realization. “We’re in a McDonalds! That must be what I’m smelling! It smells weird, but not really bad.”

“Uh... Well, yeah, it is kinda interestin’ I guess,” AJ looked around as well. “Ah’ reckon we’re here, but where the hay- I mean, where the hell is everyone else?”

Vinyl tipped her glasses down, and looked around. Failing to see any of her friends, or any of the Man 9, she pushed them back up onto her nose. “I dunno. Should we go looking? I mean, we don’t even know the layout of this place or anything... Then again, we could meet someone from the show.” She said, ending with a small squee.

“Well...” With the help of her brand new hands, AJ removed her Stetson and gave her head a scratch. “Ah’m OK with that... Where should we look first?”

Vinyl shrugged, and started out of the fast food joint, AJ in tow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rainbow Dash stretched her arms and yawned, scratching just below her armpit. She looked around, noticing a woman starting to stir next to her; a woman with long, curly purple hair... “Holy buck! Is that you, Rarity?”

Unperturbed by Rainbow’s outburst, Rarity stood up, and began dusting off her dress and fiddling with her hair. “Yes, Darling... Where is everyone else? And where are we?” Hangers and discarded pieces of clothing littered the small room they were in, which gave them the impression that they were in the dressing room of a clothing store.

Rainbow Dash glanced about the room again. “Uh... They’re all gone, aren’t they? That could be a bit of a problem.”

Rarity let out a small, satisfied sigh, content with the condition of her hair. “Well, obviously. We should start looking for them. It would give us an opportuni- Oh my goodness! Look at these clothes!” Exclaimed Rarity, as she stepped out of the room with Rainbow Dash, moving towards the nearest clothing rack of dresses.

Rainbow Dash grabbed her by the back of her collar before she made a mad dash into the store. “Easy there, girl. We’ve still gotta find everyone else. Besides, we don’t have any money.”

Rarity’s expression darkened a bit, but she livened back up in a matter of seconds. “Yes. Right. So... Shall we?”

“Yeah! Hold on, I’ll just fly up and try to find something from the show-” She looked at her back, and noticed the lack of wings. “Oh. Right. Uh... Lets walk, then?”

The whole time, the store clerk was staring at them in bewilderment, shocked at the sight of two women walking out of a dressing room together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lyra awoke to the soft sound of music playing over speakers. She looked herself over a bit. She was wearing a mint green flannel over a white t-shirt, and worn, stonewashed jeans, with a few small holes at the knees. “Oh... My... Celestia. Girls-” But, when she looked around, she only saw Ditzy, who was wearing a grey hoodie with a lighter gray shirt underneath. Simple blue jeans completed her outfit. “Oh... Well, Ditzy! We’re really here! Look! I’m a person! Hands and all!” She held her hands in front of her face, eyes shining with glee.

“But where’s everyone else?” Ditzy’s good eye scanned the room, the other getting a good look at the wall next to her. “Where are we, anyways?”

Lyra shrugged and pushed open the door, revealing a store with musical instruments and equipment adorning the walls and shelves. The store itself looked to be in the mall, judging by the fact that the windows at the front showed a large hallway with a vast amount of people milling about. What she saw next almost made her squeal out of sheer joy.

Humans were all over the shop.

She knew there would be people, but the sight of them still made her transition into fangirl mode.

“Ditzy... We’re not just on Earth... We’re in Heaven.”

Ditzy pushed past Lyra to see. “I don’t see any muffins, though...”

Lyra facepalmed, but slowly started to giggle. “I just facepalmed... I really just facepalmed... This is so awesome!” Her giggles slowly became laughter, but she managed to calm herself down before making a scene. “OK, Ditzy, how about we start looking for everyone else. I mean, who knows where they are?”

Ditzy wasn’t listening. She was too busy staring at the flashing lights across the way saying “ARCADE.” She looked at Lyra with pleading eyes. “Can we check it out?”

Lyra looked down at her hands, her grin growing into that creepy, obsessive smile.

“Sure! It’ll give me a chance to test these babies out!” She wiggled her fingers, letting out a small squee before following Ditzy to the arcade.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fluttershy’s eyes flitted open to be graced by the sight of sunlight peeking through the leaves of a green forest. When she looked down, she practically fainted. She now was a human, wearing a loose yellow sweater and capris. White shoes were now where her back hooves used to be.

The human body still surprised her, even though she was expecting a new form. Fluttershy took a moment to get a feel for her hands, which shockingly didn’t take her very long, and then surveyed the area around her for her friends, but found that she was alone. Panic began to settle in as she realized that she was by herself in a place she didn’t know. She was lost. She had no idea what to do. Her friends could be nearby, or they could be in a completely different area.

At this point, two humans happened to be walking by, and she thought it would be best to ask where the mall was. She just hoped she didn’t make a fool of herself in front of her first humans! ‘Get your act together, Fluttershy. It shouldn’t be difficult to ask for directions.’

Fluttershy stood up and tried to get a feel for her new body. Again, it felt natural to her. She took a deep breath and took a few steps towards the two humans. ‘Not too difficult, this may be easier than I thought! I bet they’re really nice and welcoming people!’ She summed up enough courage and had to speed up her pace to catch up to the humans, who had passed her while she was getting a feel for her new body.

She jogged up to a particularly big looking one and poked him on the shoulder. “Umm... Hel-”

“WHAT?”

Fluttershy jumped back a few feet in shock at the outburst. When the man actually took a good look at her, he seemed to smile in satisfaction of his intimidation. Fluttershy was having a huge issue trying to compose herself, and that smile wasn’t helping.

“I... um... I just would... like to know where might the mall be?” Fluttershy said in a low voice.

“Are you dumb, girl? We’re right beside the mall!” He said, raising his voice. Tears were beginning to appear in her eyes. She sniffed and tried to keep talking, but it was already becoming more difficult each passing second.

“I... just... I’m new...” She squeaked, trying to hide her eyes. He and his friend noticed the tears immediately.

“Well, you should have brought a map! Seriously, if you’re a tourist, it’s not that hard to get a map!” The big human shouted. Fluttershy couldn’t take anymore of this, and ran off into the woods where she first found herself. She felt like she did when all the other pegasi were ridiculing her because she couldn’t fly. She just wanted to cry and go back home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“... So then I slammed my coffee down again, but the mug shattered, and my coffee was everywhere.” Kyle was in the middle of his story, a big grin on his face. He and Ryan were sitting in the food court at the center of the mall, natural light filtering in through the sunroof.

“So what happened next?” Ryan leaned in a bit, excited.

“So,” Kyle started making hand gestures to add drama. “I give the guy my ‘you’ve got ten seconds to live’ look, and he looks like he’s about to piss himself. So you know what I do?”

Ryan tilted his head, a crazy smile on his face. “Objection?”

Kyle shook his head. “No, not just objection my friend...” He slammed his hands down on the table, and yelled as loudly as he could. “OBJECTION!”

AJ and Vinyl, along with the majority of the people in the food court, looked towards the source of the shout. The two girls, recognising the voice, looked at each other, both of them knowing what to do.

“We gonna go looking for him?”

AJ grinned, and tipped her hat back. “Do ya’ even have t’ ask?”

Ryan started laughing, both he and Kyle ignoring the stares they were getting. “And then, I started showing all of this evidence to disprove his entire theory, thus derailing his whole case.”

Ryan slowly calmed down, and wiped a tear out of his eye. “So then what happened?”

“Well, I-” Kyle stopped, sensing someone’s eyes upon him. He turned around in his chair, and saw two girls, big smiles on their faces. One was blonde, with a long ponytail and a stetson, an orange shirt with a red check pattern, and jeans. The other had neon blue hair, with a few streaks of lighter blue, headphones, purple sunglasses, a white tanktop, and black cargo pants.

Ryan followed Kyle’s gaze, and looked at the two girls, confused.

“Uh... Dia dhuit?” He asked in Irish. The girls' eyes seemed to widen at his words.

Kyle sighed, and shook his head. “What he means is, can we help you?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey. Hey Marcus. Hey. Hey. Hey Marcus.” Doug kept repeating himself, poking Marcus on the shoulder with each “hey.”

“WHAT?!” Marcus spun and glared daggers at Doug.

“Hi~” Doug started giggling like an idiot, whereas Marcus clenched his fists, and started shaking with rage.

“I swear, Doug, if you keep this up, I’m gonna taze the SHIT out of you. Screw abuse of authority!” He almost growled as he made the empty threat.

Doug’s eyes widened, and he started stammering, trying to apologize the only way he knew how. “Uh- Well- Erm- I- Pancakes- Sorry!”

Marcus rubbed his face. “It’s fine... Just stop being an idiot for for 5 fuckin’ seconds, OK?”

Doug sighed. “OK~...” He then looked at his watch, following its hands. “Five, four, three, two-” Marcus slapped him across the back of his head. “Ouch! Fine, jeez... Spoilsport.”

Marcus opened his mouth to say something, but someone interrupted him.

“OhmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmyGOSH!” A girl with rainbow hair, a blue zip-up sweatshirt with a white t-shirt underneath and tight jeans, had her hands on the sides of her head, and was staring at Marcus and Doug like they were made of pure gold. The girl’s friend, a taller woman, with long, curly, purple hair, wearing a white blouse, a black silk skirt, and high heels was looking them over, a look of admiration in her eyes.

“Wow, Marcus,” Doug whispered. “I know you’ve been a mall cop for a while, but I didn’t know you had a fan club! Being a mall cop must give you some...” His eyes moved from the purple haired woman’s head, settling on her chest. ”... Benefits~”

“Doug, shut up right now, or I’ll put my fist where your words are...”

“Sorry, Ben already said he was going to do that! Maybe some other time?” Doug put on his best trollface, making Marcus all the angrier.

“My my, you two are quite the energetic ones, aren’t you?” The purple-haired woman had a posh, yet not quite smug smile. More gentle than anything else.

“Uh, yes ma’am, I suppose you could say that... now, is there anything I can help you with?” Marcus crossed his arms behind his back, switching to his serious, on-the-job mood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coal sat down at one of the joint-machines; two machines joined at their backs, designed for two-player competitions. Coal was playing Ultimate Marvel Versus Capcom 3 with some other person whom he couldn’t see. He chose Dr. Doom, the other player, Phoenix Wright.

“Now Coal, I know the situation is looking real bad right now. But you must ‘feel’ the machine! Be the machine! Be... You’re so losing this match...” Kasper said with his usual gaming-enthusiasm. Coal was on a pretty bad losing-streak at the moment.

Coal scowled. “Shut up, Kasper.”

“Fine...” He said dejectedly, while mumbling something along the lines of “Hell’s bells” under his breath.

The next match started, and at first, it seemed like Coal was winning, that was, until the other player gathered three pieces of evidence, and was ready to object. Coal started gritting his teeth. “Dammit... Don’t you dare object-”

“OBJECTION!” Blasted from the machine’s speakers.

“OH COME ON!” Coal pounded his fist on the controls, but kept trying to play. “Uh, maybe if I just try not to let him get me into an air combo...”

The machine let out another voice. “Air combo!”

Coal almost screamed. His character was thrown into the air, and then...

“The one who ACTUALLY committed the crime...” The sound of hands slamming onto a desk rang from the speakers. “IS YOU!”

“WORDS!” Coal leaned back in his chair, and let out an exasperated sigh.

“Whoever you’re playing against must be a damn pro!” Kasper let out an amused chuckle, as he leaned to the side to have a look at Coal’s opponent. Coal did likewise, fully knowing he had already lost this round.

“No way...” Coal’s eyes widened when he saw a cross-eyed, blonde girl staring back at him, a happy smile on her face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben and Camron had decided to split up inside the store. Ben was looking around the various aisles, lost in the land of hardcore fitness, while Camron took the liberty of flagging a clerk. Bobbing and weaving through various aisles, Camron searched deliberately for any sign of life to assist him.

Or any woman he could pick up. Either was good.

Suddenly, he spotted a young woman with indigo hair, a single streak of pink running down the center, a purple polo shirt with a black skirt. Her friend, standing beside her, had puffy pink hair, a pink sweater with a white collared shirt underneath, and white cargo shorts. He approached the girls, a smile across his face.

“Hello ladies. Would you mind coming with me and my friend over there,” He points to Benjamin, who was flexing in a mirror, “to dinner this evening?”

Twilight took one look at who it was... And fainted. Pinkie caught her, and started giggling uncontrollably. “Teehee! Sorry, my friend is a bit shy. But I’d love to take you up on your offer! I mean, I’m pretty hungry, and you seem like a nice guy, so I don’t see why not- Oh my gosh! I need to get my friend here a place to lie down until she wakes up!”

Camron whistled, and beckoned to Ben, who turned around and noticed the now-fainted young woman. Silently walking over, he reached down and picked up Twilight in his arms, positioning his biceps behind her kneecaps and her shoulders, saying, “Wow. Two minutes. That’s a new record. Did you at least get her name first...?” The Ex-boxer trailed off as the still conscious woman started giggling and bouncing up and down with such a velocity that she seemed to vibrate uncontrollably.

Ben just looked at Camron with a face that said, ‘what have you gotten us into this time’ as the young woman with curly hair continued to bounce up and down violently. The young woman in Ben’s arms roused from her faint, only to find her face smothered in the large pectoral muscle that Ben was using as a makeshift pillow for her head. Jerking her head back with a violent blush, she looked up at Ben, who gave her a smile. She automatically fainted. Again.

Camron rubbed at the back of his head and chuckled awkwardly. “So...What’s your name, miss?”

The curly-haired woman stopped abruptly, and her face scrunched up for a second, almost in extreme thought. She suddenly said, “Oh, right! My name is Penny, and the one that Ben is holding is Susan!”

Ben’s face went from neutral to slightly suspicious. “Penny... How do you know my name? I don’t really get out that much, because of my condition, and I don’t really think I go around and tell everyone my name.”

Penny just shifted her eyes side to side nervously as she replied almost too quickly, “Well, Big Ben! You saw Big Ben, right? He’s big, and he looks like a Ben, so I just called him Ben!”

Ben looked at Camron with an uneasy face, and Camron just shrugged half heartedly. Ben looked down at Susan, who was currently in his arms, and decided to just chalk it up as a quirk. One of many that Penny seemed to have.

With a hint of apprehension in his voice, he said “So... Where do we need to put Susan?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Isaac walked along a wooded path, shrubberies and rolling hills flanking him and giving him a sense of isolation. He started muttering to himself once he felt alone enough, thinking about his latest project.

“Well, if the buckminsterfullerene’s geometry is open enough, it should be possible to interlace the molecules. If that is successful, the resulting material should be both pliant while highly dense and nigh impenetrable. If there is still enough room inside the fullerenes, it may even be possible to lace tungsten or some other element inside the spheres, resulting in it being incapable of combusting. If that does work, then that could allow fusion to become a viable possibility when contained inside such a material. However, how am I going to capture the energy from the fusion if it is sealed inside...”

He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his black, close fitting coat and continued on down the path, muttering under his breath every now and then as his thoughts surfaced. After a few minutes of wandering the paths in the forested park, the foreign sound of two men laughing interrupted his musings. This was not a joyful laugh however, it was full of malice. Isaac quickened his pace, making his way towards the malicious mirth. Soon, he was sprinting through the trees, the path long forgotten. A sense of urgency was growing in his mind.

Just as he neared the source of the laughter, another sound caught his ear, one that wrenched at his heart. Crying. A young woman by the sound of it. Isaac was filled with a burning fury, his eyes aglow with righteous anger. He rounded a bend and saw two men pointing and laughing at a woman with pink hair who lay on the ground sobbing.

“Little crying freak! What’s the matter, your hair too pink for your own good? Why are you crying, little crybaby, something your mommy said before she left you crying on the side of the road?” Isaac recognized the voice now as the same jerk who’d threatened Camron at the coffee shop. He returned to his naturally silent stride as he closed the distance between him and his new targets.

“Yeah... I bet your mom couldn’t afford to get you aborted, so she just dumped you on someone’s doorstep. What, am I right? Did your momma leave you?” At the man’s insults, something snapped in Isaac. His eye twitched as the primal beast inside reared its head.

The men never heard him coming. Usually, Isaac would use as little force as possible, but these men didn’t deserve that. As he drew within arm’s reach, Isaac swung his fist, his bony hand sinking into the first man’s kidney. Before the source of the insults even touched the ground, Isaac had already spun around, planting his heel firmly in the second man’s face with a spinning heel kick. He felt the crunch of the man’s nose fracturing beneath his foot.

The pink-haired woman squeaked in surprise as her tormentors were brought low before her eyes. Isaac stood there fuming at the injustice. He attention returned to the men writhing on the ground in pain. “What. Is. Your. Problem.”

The first man, the one from the coffee shop, regained his footing. “Boy, you’re dead, you know that?” He reached into his pocket, drawing a switchblade.

A wicked grin flashed across Isaac’s face. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to play with knives? For that matter, didn’t your mother ever teach you to be polite to women!?”

The knife-wielding man lunged, stabbing towards Isaac’s abdomen. Isaac wore a sneer of derision as he turned and stepped toward the attacker. He caught his assailant's arm in one hand and brought his other arm down at the elbow, snapping the bone. Once the bone broke, the man dropped the knife from the pain. Before he could even cry out, Isaac switched his grip, with the broken limb now between Isaac’s own neck and arm. Then, using his arm for leverage, he dislocated the shoulder. The woman’s previous attacker now lay on the ground, moaning in pain, close to unconsciousness.

Isaac turned to face the other instigator. Blood streamed down his face from his broken nose, but he still stammered, “I-I-I’m w-warning you man. I’m a b-black belt in tae kwon d-do!”

Isaac snarled, “Well you obviously didn’t learn anything about discipline! Let me teach you a bit.” Isaac motioned for the man to come.

The aggressor charged wildly, stopping just short of Isaac to do a high roundhouse kick, aiming for his head. Isaac stepped into the kick and crouched down under the attack. One hand swept the man’s supporting leg out from under him, causing him to come crashing down on his face.

“Now I’m going to give you two one chance to apologise to this woman.” Isaac gestured towards the pink-haired lass. “However, if you enjoy pain, I’ll gladly continue.”

The two beaten men exchanged a terrified glance. Instantly, apologies started pouring forth from them, blubbering and sobbing nearly as much as they had made her. “We’re sorry! W-we’ll never do anything like this again! I swear!”

“Good. Now then, go to the hospital. Don’t want that nose of yours ruined forever now, do we?” The second man helped the jerk from the coffee shop regain his feet, and they scuttled off toward the nearby parking lot. Isaac watched them flee, and once he was satisfied that they really weren’t coming back, turned to the once-sobbing woman.

“Are you alright?” he extended his hand toward her.

A pair of crystal blue eyes, tinted red from her tears, peaked out from behind her locks of pink hair. A dainty hand reached up and took his proffered arm. Her voice squeaked out, “Um, thank you...”

“Is there anything more I can do to help you? Have anybody you’re supposed to be with?” Isaac looked on, full of concern, and a bit of curiosity at her strange appearance.

She cast her gaze about, as though searching for something, and then asked, “Y- yes. I was with some of my friends when we got seperated. D- do you think you could help me find my friends? I don’t know where I am... That is, um, if you don’t mind.”

“It’s no trouble at all. I’m sure we can find them, and we can always ask my friends if they’ve seen them.” Isaac lightly grasped her hand, and started guiding her through the wooded paths of the park.

Meet ALL the Characters!

Ben adjusted Twilight in his arms. “So... Camron. What’re we gonna do now? Should we tell the guys?”

“Sounds chill with me. Lemme lob em a text message.” Camron pulled out his cellphone, and began texting the rest of his friends.

To: Group: “The Guys”
Sup guys, Ben and I have some fainted chick with us and her weird friend. Meet up at our place, or someplace else?

His cellphone closed with a click and he stuffed it back into his pocket. “Well, that’s that. So...” He looked to Pinkie, who still had a large, weird smile on her face. “Where are you from?”

“Well...” She put her finger on her chin. “We’re from really really really really really really really really really really really really-”

“Are you done?” Ben cut her off.

“... REALLY far away.” She finished, crossing her arms behind her back and rocking back and forth on her heels.

“Right... So, uh, are you two here alone, or...” Camron trailed off, worried to say anything else that might make her go on, and on, and on...

Pinkie looked away to think for a second. “Oh, right! I was supposed to be with some of my other friends. Do you think you could help us find them?”

Ben looked at Camron for confirmation. Camron shrugged. “I guess we could help you, but we should probably find someplace for Susan first.”

“Oh come on, your arms are good enough.” Pinkie said, somehow maintaining a straight face.

“... I like you, Penny.” Ben replied, a smug smile on his face, before making his way toward the store’s exit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello~? English? Do you speak it?” Ryan asked the two girls, who had goofy smiles on their faces.

A buzzing sound came from Kyle’s pocket. “Damn texts...” He pulled out his cellphone, reading the text Camron had sent. “Uh... Well then.” He began typing a reply.

Reply: Group: “The Guys”
Well, me and Ryan have two weird looking girls here as well... Maybe they know each other? How about we all meet up here in the food court?

Ryan was busying himself with trying to get some sort of answer out of the two women, snapping his fingers at them, hoping for some form of reaction.

After a second or two of snapping, the blonde haired woman grabbed Ryan’s hand.

“Well o’ course we speak English! Whadda we look like, ah couple o’ nean- neander- idiots!?” She let go of his hand, leaving him startled. Her neon haired friend quickly came to her side, and whispered into her ear.

“Kyle’s staring at us... Might want to tone down that attitude just a tiny bit?”

Kyle just cocked his head, his suspicion slightly roused. Vinyl turned back to the two men.

“Sorry ‘bout my friend. She tends to be a little hot-tempered.”

“Ah ahm not!” She retorted angrily.

“See what I mean?” She asked with a grin.

“Oh, trust me, I know EXACTLY what you mean.” Ryan Replied, chuckling slightly and tilting his head in Kyle’s direction.

“Right...” Kyle nodded slightly in agreement, ignoring Ryan’s intended insult. “So, what do you want? Surely there’s a reason you’re just standing there gawking at us.”

The two girls looked at each other uneasily, trying to find an answer to the question.

“Well...” Vinyl took off her sunglasses, revealing crimson eyes. “We’re looking for our friends.”

Kyle and Ryan were slightly taken aback by the intense color of her eyes. “But what do we have to do with your friends?” Kyle cocked his eyebrow, his suspicion rising.

“Well, uh...” The blonde one scratched the side of her head. “We was gonna ask iffin’ y’all’d seen ‘em.”

Kyle narrowed his eyes. “Right... But there are loads of people around us. Why come to us specifically-”

“Ah, come on, Kyle.” Ryan interrupted. “Stop giving them such a hard time, they just need some help.”

“Fine...” Kyle shot a glare at the two women. “You’re both off the hook... For now.”

Ryan’s phone started vibrating. He pulled it out, and read the text he’d received. “Oh, hey... Kyle, did you get this text too?” Ryan asked, showing him the message.

Kyle nodded. “Yeah. Lemme guess: You think these two are friends of the women Camron and Ben found?”

“We’re right here, ya’ know.” The blonde woman crossed her arms. “And what’s this ‘bout women?”

Ryan put his cards away, which he’d been shuffling the entire time. “Our friends may have found your friends.”

“I told them to meet us here. So we can wait.” Kyle took off his hat to scratch his head. ”In the meantime, I have a few more ‘questions’ for you two...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Psst.” The rainbow woman nudged Marcus. “He’s staring again...”

Marcus let out a stressed sigh, and smacked Doug again, who was staring at the purple-haired woman’s... Interesting parts.

Doug jerked his head back up. “Oops. I was staring again, wasn’t I?”

“Yes, you were... Now, I have one question for you, Doug...” Marcus pulled out his tazer. “Are you going to do it again?”

Doug went bug-eyed, and said “Eh... not when you’re looking...” as he tried to, yet again, pull off his best troll face.

Marcus turned on the tazer, electricity crackling at its tip. “Wrong. You have two more tries.”

Doug let out a small meep, and shouted “DON’T TAZE ME BRO! DON’T TAZE ME!” As he was flailing his arms about, trying to be overdramatic.

The rainbow haired woman let out a suppressed giggle.

Marcus sighed, and put the shocky-shocky fun stick away. “Fine. Just... Stop being such a perv. Remember, now you only have one chance left.” This was rewarded with another giggle from the rainbow snitch.

“My my, how chivalrous of you.” The ‘interesting’ woman fluttered her eyes at Marcus.

“Uh...” Marcus cleared his throat. “Oh! What are your names, anyways?”

“Ah, yes. My name is...” The voluptuous woman’s eyes darted around for a moment, before coming to rest on a store’s title banner. “Victoria. And this is my friend...” She gestured to her friend, but trailed off. “Uh...”

“Robin.” She crossed her arms. “My name is Robin.” Marcus traced her gaze to the sign hanging over the Baskin Robbin’s ice cream parlor.

“Riiiiiiight... I-” Before Marcus could say anything else, he was interrupted by the fact that his phone was vibrating. “Gimme a sec...” He checked, and saw that he’d received two texts. One from Camron, and one from Kyle. He read them both, and then put his phone away.

“Uh, you two wouldn’t happen to be separated from your friends, would you?”

“Hey, yeah... What, did someone find our friends?” Rainbow Dash smiled, hoping she was right.

“Well, only one way to find out. Let’s get to the food court.” Marcus headed off, but Doug called out to him.

“Marcus, the food court is this way!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That was fun! Wanna go again?” The cross-eyed girl never dropped her smile.

“But- I- You- How?!” Coal couldn’t comprehend what had just happened.

Kasper couldn’t say anything. He was too busy trying not to choke on his own laughter.

“Good job! Who was it you were up against anywa-” A mint-green haired girl leaned out from behind the machine, and her jaw dropped. “Oh- Uh... H-Hi.”

“Hi...?” Coal cocked his eyebrow. He looked the two women over. The one with mint-green hair had a flannel of a darker shade of green over a white t-shirt, and rattey, stonewashed jeans. The cross eyed blonde one was wearing a grey hoodie, and dark jeans.

“Hi!” The blonde one stuck out her hand. “My name’s Debby Bubbles!”

“O... K.” Coal shook her hand. “What about your friend?”

“You mean me?” The mint-haired one pointed to herself. “Laura. Laura Bubbles. We’re sisters.”

Ditzy cocked her eyebrow. “We are?” Laura elbowed her. “Ow- I mean we are! Yeah!”

Kasper finally stopped laughing, and wiped a tear out of his eye. “Well Debby, you just made my day... That was awesome!”

Her smile grew slightly. “Thanks! I had a lot of fun.”

“So, wanna go again?” Before Ditzy could answer him, Coal’s phone vibrated. “Oh, hang on real quick.”

He checked the messages that he’d gotten. They mentioned strange women, but then he got another text from Isaac.

To: Group: “The Guys”
Hey, guys, I just found a girl out here in the woods. I’m bringing her back to the mall with me. Lets do what Kyle said, and meet up at the food court. The girl has pink hair, and a yellow sweater. Ask the girls you’ve met if they know her.

“Ahh, jeez! Sorry ladies, but a friend of mine found a lost girl and could use a little help. Heh, it seems we’re not the only guys running into girls today, Kasper.” He showed Kasper the text.

“Pink hair... Huh.” He scratched the side of his head. “Wait, out in the woods? That’s... Not creepy at all.”

Lyra’s eyes widened in realization. “Wait, pink hair? Uh, I think that’s our friend. Mind if we tag along?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Isaac flipped his phone closed after sending off the text message. He glanced at the strange, quiet woman who was walking close to him. After the fight, she had not said a word, though she kept looking at Isaac every time he turned away. A few minutes passed in silence, the pair occasionally sneaking glances at each other.

They were nearing the exit of the park when Isaac finally spoke up. “So...I’m sorry if I scared you earlier. I’m usually not so... aggressive. But, given the circumstances, I couldn’t just sit by the wayside.”

Fluttershy blushed slightly, and mumbled “Oh, no... It’s okay... I’m glad you did help... They wouldn’t leave me alone at all...”

“Alright... By the way, what is your name?” Isaac inquired curiously.

“Flu...” Fluttershy stopped herself, realizing she almost said her actual name. She stopped in her steps for a moment to ponder upon a new name. “My name is Flora...”

Isaac stopped as well, and extended his hand towards her, “My name is Isaac. It’s nice to meet you, though I wish it had been under better circumstances.”

Fluttershy shook his hand lightly and gave him a soft smile, which he returned.

“Shall we continue on, then?” Isaac asked, giving a small bow and pointing his hand forward. “We’re getting quite close now.” She nodded and they resumed their walking.

They left the forested trails and emerged out into the sunny parking lot behind the mall. Fluttershy gasped when she saw all the cars and people milling about. The dimensional tourist took a moment to steel herself and followed after Isaac.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The group at the food court had been waiting a couple of minutes before Camron and Ben came in, but they were surprised to see an unconscious girl with violet hair in Ben’s arms. Kyle and Ryan were used to his ‘magnetic’ personality, but Vinyl and AJ looked as if they were about to flip out.

AJ was the first to speak up, “Oh mah! Is she okay? What th' hell happened ta'- Er... Her?!"

Camron’s gaze shifted awkwardly from left to right. “I think I’m just gonna... grab a bubble tea... over there.” He turned to Ben and mumbled under his breath, “Good luck with the southern girl.”

“Wait! Camron, don’t leave me!... And he’s gone.” Sighed Ben. “Well... I didn’t witness the spectacle, but it seemed like he was just being his usual self.”

Pinkie shot to attention. “Bubble tea? Oh, that sounds delicious! Is it sweet? I bet it’s sweet. But I don’t want it too sweet! I mean, sweet bubbles? Who’s ever heard of that? How did they get the bubbles to stay in the same place? I tried that once but they all floated away and I was chasing them for AGES! And when I finally caught them, they just tasted like soap! Not tea at all! Some of them I didn’t even get to taste! They just went poof, gone! I mean-” Her rant was cut short by a hand being shoved over her mouth.

“Consarn it Pinks, don’t yah know when tah stop flapping yer gums!?” Applejack exclaimed. “Sorry ‘bout mah friend here. She don’t know when tah stop talkin’...”

“Perfectly fine. Happens to the best of us at times.” Replied Ryan.

“The best of us?” Kyle asked, raising an eyebrow.

“That would be me!” Doug proclaimed, throwing his arms to the side, as his and Marcus’s group entered the food court.

“Hey! I just so happen to be the best person here!” Countered Ryan, receiving skeptical looks. “Okay, most insane... That counts for something, right?... Right?” Ben cocked an eyebrow at Ryan’s comment.

“Hey, don’t worry Ryan! We can be insane together!” Doug said in an encouraging tone, laying a hand on Ryan’s shoulder.

“Oh God no! Just one of you is bad enough! I will NOT let you two cause chaos together!” Marcus almost yelled.

While everything else was happening, Rainbow approached Kyle. She was staring at him intently, not saying a single word.

"Uh..." Kyle was not only suspicious of all of the women now, but a little creeped out too. "Stop staring at me."

"Oh." She shook her head, and laughed nervously. "Sorry. I just- Um- Like your clothes! Yeah..."

He narrowed his eyes, suspecting that this was a lie. "Mhm... Thanks..." He slowly slipped into deep thought.

Ben was standing within a ring of arguing people, just shaking his head at the spectacle unfolding around him. He walked over to a nearby bench, and sat Twilight down. Making sure that she was properly situated, and muttered under his breath, “And I’M the one that has to take pills in the morning...”

Straightening back up, Ben made his way back over to where Marcus, Doug, and Ryan were all arguing in a tight circle. He grabbed Ryan and Doug by the collars of their shirts, lifting them easily into the air. Setting them behind him, Ben looked at Kyle and the rainbow haired woman, who were staring at each other. Ben placed a hand on his forehead and hoped to God that everyone would be arriving soon.

“Hey, guys, I’m here.” As if an answer to Ben’s prayers, Isaac showed up with the pink-haired woman he’d mentioned. “This is Flora, the girl I found in the woods.”

Everyone said their collective “hi”s, and went back to what they were doing. All of the girls gathered around in a group, separate from the Man 9. Ben called his friends around him, and started talking to them in a reasonable tone. “So guys, mind telling me why you all are acting crazier than me? I mean, I’m acting the most normal right now, what’s wrong with this picture?”

Kyle crossed his arms, and cocked his eyebrow. “I was just thinking. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Ben retorted, almost laughing out loud. “Looking at a woman like you are about to melt a hole through her doesn’t count as ‘normal.’”

“I was just trying to get her to either slip up and tell me how she and all her friends became separated, or get her to leave me alone.” Kyle let out an annoyed sigh, and rubbed his eyes. “Sheesh... Can’t there just be one normal day around here?”

Ben laughed openly, almost hysterically. “Normal? Kyle, you gave up the meaning of that word the minute you thought that living with those two,” he pointed at Doug and Ryan, “was a good idea. I mean, we let those two near anything as destructive as matches and I would head for the fallout shelters.”

“... Good point.” Kyle looked over to the group of women. “They’re all hiding something from us, though, I can tell... And you guys know well enough to trust my intuition.”

Doug snickered. “Oh, yeah, sure, because you’re NEVER wrong.”

Kyle glared at Doug, causing him to flinch. “Oh, and by the way, Doug, about Marcus’ tazer...” An evil grin grew on Kyle’s face.

“I like the way you think, Kyle.” Marcus gave him a small grin as he reached for his shocky-shocky-fun stick.

“Woah woah woah!” Doug started flailing his arms around like a madman. “I was just kidding! Jeez!”

“And you all say I’M the insane one...” Ryan rolled his eyes. “Oh right, I am!”

“Ryan, Doug, I will personally pick both of you up so that Marcus can taze the ever-loving shit out of you if either of you create any more shenanigans around here.” Ben growled, flexing his biceps to emphasize his argument.

“Guys, come on.” Isaac intervened. “How about we all knock it off, and see if they need any more help? We can’t forget that one of them is unconscious.” Isaac motioned to the young woman propped up against the armrest of the bench just behind them.

Kyle was about to raise an objection, but then he noticed a lack of faces around him. “Wait. Where’re Coal and-”

“Right here.” Kyle spun around out of shock, and Coal was standing right there, along with Kasper, and two more strange women. “So,” Coal looked to the woman with the mint-green hair, “are those girls your friends?”

“Yeah. Thanks for the help!” The woman’s smile grew. “I think me and my sister would have gotten lost if it weren’t for you two.”

“Ah, it was nothing.” Kasper shrugged, and the two women went off to join their friends.

As the two women joined in the circle of their friends, Ben felt something boring into his back. Looking behind him, he saw two golden eyes staring at him intently with a maniacal grin to accompany them. He shivered, and looked back into the group.

“Now that Camron done goofed, what are we going to do with them?” Ben cocked his thumb at the crazy girl looking at him.

“Well, we should just let this situation play out. If they’re done, they’ll leave. If not... Well, I’ll think think of something.” Kyle shrugged, and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Lyra, stop staring at him like that!” Rainbow Dash stomped her foot. “You’re being creepy.”

“Oh!” Lyra shook her head, and looked back to her friends. “Sorry... Anyways, what were you saying?”

Fluttershy rubbed at her arms calmly and rocked back and forth gently. “Well, I was talking about how Isaac saved me. It was unfortunate that those... men had to get hurt, but it was nice enough to have Isaac come to make me safe. Anyway, what are we going to do? I was in the woods, trying to talk to the animals, but they just ran away from me. I can’t help us just live in the wild.”

Rainbow scratched her head, “We don’t have anywhere to stay, and even though this is just a dream, I don’t want to spend it stuck outside.”

“Ah’ reckon they’d let us hang out with ‘em fer th’ day.” AJ looked at Twilight. “And we need ta’ fahnd a place fer her to stay.”

Camron overheard what AJ said as he walked by. “You can take her to our condo. It’s the least I can do, seeing what I did earlier.” He got inside of the circle taking a sip from the straw. He stopped at the expressions staring at him.

“What?”

Ben forcefully facepalmed. “Camron, I understand common courtesy, but that’s too much. I mean, giving them-”

“How chivalrous of you... We’d happily accept! ” Rarity smiled, but Kyle looked angry.

“Hold it. We don’t even know who you are. Why should we just let you in our-”

Ryan grabbed him on the shoulder, and yanked him aside. “Kyle, don’t you DARE ruin this for us! Nine girls. Without homes. Accepting our offer to stay with us. DON’T RUIN THIS FOR ME!”

Kyle was shocked. Nobody had ever cut him off in the middle of a rant before. “Impressive, Ryan. But you should have another reason to take them in aside from them being attractive. What’re you planning?” Kyle cocked his eyebrow, a smug grin on his face.

Kasper leaned in to join the conversation. “Yeah, get your dick back in your pants Ryan. These girls seriously need someplace to stay. We can’t just leave them on the streets. You know it isn’t safe at night.”

“I can’t believe you guys, honestly...” Ryan said, exasperated. “You guys have lived with me for, what, three years now? I would have thought that, after that amount of time, you’d realize I just like making people smile. I can be the most serious at times. You honestly think I’m just taking these girls in for their looks?”

“Oh. Right. I forgot.” Kyle shoved his hands in his pockets, a mean grin spreading across his face. “You’ll never get laid.” Kasper let out a snicker, and Ryan smacked him across the head.

“Haha yeah, Ryan. You get as much attention as a damn white crayon!” Camron snickered as he continued to slurp his bubble tea.

“You say I’M the immature one... And I’m being DEAD serious this time.”

Kasper’s smile turned slightly menacing as he adjusted his glasses. “You know I can sue your ass now, right? I already have a contract with Kyle.” He nodded his head towards Mr. Super Defense Attorney.

“Yeah. Lemme recount all the charges we could raise.” He started counting on his fingers. “Assault, possible conspiration of rape, oh, and not to mention property damage. Remember the chicken coop?”

“I seem to remember you having a similar incident with chickens, Kyle.“ Ryan replied with a smug smile, causing Kyle to recoil a bit. “And what would these lovely ladies say?” He gestured towards the group of women.

“Uh, well-” Kyle cleared his throat, and composed himself. “What if I show them your internet browser history?”

Ryan’s eyes went wide. “I could say the same thing to you... and Kasper... and Coal... would you like me to continue?”

“Aha, but you see, I don’t... ‘Indulge’ in the same hobbies as you do...”

“OK! Listen, put the browsers down! It doesn’t have to end this way! Calm down and take a chill pill. Shhh~ And let’s not talk about Marcus’s browsing history.” Kasper shuddered as he said that last part.

“Oh, what’s browsing history?” Pinkie seemed to materialize out of nowhere, an innocent smile on her face.

“You don’t want to know, Penny.” Ben shooed her off to her friends as he continued. “Alright guys, Camron already said they can stay, and he owns the condo. Nothing else we can do.”

Kyle shrugged. “Alright, but if we wake up and all of our stuff is gone, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Kyle, except your computer, what do you really have that would be worth stealing?” Kasper asked with a smirk. “Your bedsheets?”

Kyle looked at the golden ring on his finger. “Uh... Duh?”

“Touche... Hey,” Kasper pointed at Marcus and Doug, “Is Doug having a reunion with the shocky-shocky fun stick?”

The sound of electricity rang out, and then... “GYAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Doug screamed out in pain, followed by the laughter of all the other guys.

Doug cried out in protest. “But they’re double Ds!” Followed by another shock from the tazer, and another scream of pain.

Marcus had a sadistic smile on his face. “Haha! I love my job!”

The whole time his friends were arguing, Isaac stood a little away from the group, observing the strange collection of women from the corner of his eye. He didn’t rake them with a suspicious glare like Kyle, just a look of curiosity. After a moment or two of observing them, Isaac raised an eyebrow in astonishment and recognition. The eyebrow quickly descended to its normal position, and Isaac stayed silent.

In the ring of women, Ditzy had a large smile plastered across her face. “I love that we get to meet them! I never thought that we’d ever be able to do something like this!” Doug’s screams of pain were masked by the laughter of his sadistic friends. Even if they weren’t laughing, the imminent fangirl squeals that periodically burst from each of the women’s mouths would have done the trick.

“So...” Vinyl pushed her sunglasses up on her nose. “Are we gonna... You know... Try anything with them?”

“I don’t know...” Rarity ran a hand through her hair. “I mean, this is just a dream, right?”

“Wait, if this is a dream, wouldn’t that mean a bunch of good stuff is supposed to happen? So why not?” All of the other girls stared at Ditzy.

“That’s...” AJ shook her head to snap out of her shock. “That’s real smart... Good thinkin’! Ah’m up for it if y’all are.”

Pinkie started rocking on her heels again. “So, who likes who? Oh, I bet I know~”

“Pinkie...” Rainbow Dash crossed her arms, a blush growing on her face. “Shut up... Uh...” Rainbow looked to the group of men, and saw Kyle glaring at all of them. “Kyle’s staring at all of us...”

“Uh... Isn’t he, like, the really distrusting one, or something?” Lyra looked back at Kyle for a second, and when their gazes met, he narrowed his eyes, and looked away. “Uh-oh. What if he suspects us or something?”

“Oh, come now. What kind of man wouldn’t trust a group of beautiful women such as ourselves?” Rarity smiled proudly.

“Maybe it’s because we’ve all been acting strangey-wangey?” Pinkie was hopping up and down at this point, unable to contain her energy.

“Well, that’s probably it. But...” Rainbow cast another glance back to Kyle. “I don’t really think it’ll be a problem. How’s he gonna find out we’re a bunch of ponies-gone-human?”

AJ looked at Kyle, and cringed at his narrowed eyes. “Ah don’t know, sugarcube. But somethin’ tells me that he jus’ won’t quit. Ah’ can feel it, sort o’ lahk Ah’ can feel when somepony lies.”

The Man 9 broke from their little conversation huddle, and Ben picked up Twilight as the rest of the guys sprawled out in a lazy line facing the girls. Ditzy tapped RD on the shoulder. “Look, they stopped talking! We should break and talk to them!”

Rainbow looked at Ben, who easily shifted Twilight’s frame on his arms. “Right. They probably figured out what to do with Twi’.”

The girls detached and met up with the Man 9, trying their best to keep straight or worried faces. Pinkie popped up behind Ben, her torso rising over his shoulder. “Hey there, Ben! You guys figure out what to do with Susan yet?”

Ben opened his mouth to talk, but Camron cut him off by saying, “Yeah, Penny. We’re gonna offer you girls some room in our condo.”

Ditzy stepped forward, completely shocking her friends. “Now, when you say that you are giving us room, what exactly does that come with?”

Coal looked at Ditzy, completely astounded that she could be capable of this type of conversation. He replied, “Room, board, and a roof over your head.”

Ditzy scratched under her chin. “And how long would this arrangement be?”

Camron stepped forward while looking at the rest of his comrades. “As long as you girls need it, Debbie. We are more than happy to help a few beautiful young women who are down on their luck. Isn’t that right, guys?”

Doug nodded enthusiastically as Kyle crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes even more, trying to rake a confession out of them just by looking at them. “How do you guys have those crazy hair colors? And where do you come from?”

Rainbow Dash shifted her eyes side to side fearfully. “We... We’re from Canada! Coming from an Anime convention!”

Kyle nodded, and leaned away from the women. “Right... So why are you in the middle of South Carolina? It’s not like this is a bustling activity center for Canadians to visit.”

Camron cut in, “While we are quite interested learning more about you, perhaps we can discuss this in further detail at home?” Kyle nodded, grudgingly agreeing to hold off on his interrogation for now. Camron led the way back to the parking lot where the Man 9’s various vehicles were parked.

Coal tagged Isaac on the sleeve and motioned for him to hang back a bit. Isaac and Coal slowed their pace till they were a good ways behind the main group.

“Hey, Isaac... What is your take on all this?”

Isaac pondered the question a moment before answering, “To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. I think they are fairly trustworthy and don’t mean us any harm, but something about them feels rather off. In fact, they seem somewhat familiar, don’t you think?”

“I suppose...” Coal looked down to scratch his head in thought, and noticed a small red stain on Isaac’s heel. “Isaac... You uhh... Want to tell me something?”

“Hm?” Coal nodded to Isaac’s shoe. “Oh, that. I just took a walk in the forest.”

“A walk that ended in blood and finding a strange young woman?” Coal raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“OK, an enthusiastic walk in the woods.”

Coal sighed and shook his head. “I’ll take your word on it, man,” finishing his sentence by giving Isaac a hardy pat on the back. “I know you well enough now to not be surprised.”

“I didn’t kill anyone. Just sent a few punks who were tormenting Flora to the hospital.” Isaac’s eyes flashed as his anger resurfaced, but the flames were quickly doused. “You know that there are some things I will not stand for.”

“Oh yeah, I know... Mr. Lawful Good Paladin.” A wistful smile flitted across Coal’s tired face for a moment before disappearing as quickly as it had come.

Isaac grinned at the old nickname. “You haven’t called me that in years. Maybe all we needed was something like this to help us liven up a bit. It could end up being better for everyone.” The sound of the tazer cut through the air, followed by Doug’s howl of pain.

“Well, everyone except Doug.”

The Hell is Progress?

Kyle was pacing back and forth in his bathroom, thinking. He’d taught Rainbow the basics of how to play Penumbra, and told her to figure the rest out on her own. Of course, she took it as a challenge. Besides from the occasional screams of terror, Kyle was alone in silence deep in thought. Usually he talks to himself when he’s this concentrated, which receives a lot of jokes from the gang.

“Where are these girls really from? There aren’t any conventions around here for the next month, so they’re lying about that. And why was Robin so shocked at my background? Plus, they keep stopping themselves when they say certain words: ‘everypo-... everypo-...’” Kyle’s eyes widened and a grin widened on his face. “Everypony! I knew it. They’re pegasisters. Well, that answers one of my questions... But still, where are they from?! Are they really from Canada? And why are they really here?”

“AH!” Robin’s shouting interrupted Kyle’s train of thought. “W-Where the hay did that thing come from?!”

Kyle rolled his eyes, and decided that he’d pondered this matter enough. The truth will come out of them when the opportunity arises. He was sure of it. “What are all of you hiding...?” He mumbled. His thoughts were interrupted by the growling of his stomach. With that, he threw his arms in the air, and abandoned any suspicions for the time being. He poked his head out from the bathroom, and sniffed the air a few times. “Mmm... That smells good. And damn I’m hungry. Hey, Robin, you gonna join us for dinner?”

“Hm?” She took off his headphones. “Dinner? Sure, why not?”

“Awesome. I’m sure you’ll love Coal’s cooking. Just be glad I didn’t decide to try my hand at it tonight. My cooking’s...” His eyes wandered up to the ceiling as he tried to think of a good word. “Well, to be frank, absolutely horrid. I couldn’t cook to save my life.”

Robin shrugged. “Eh, I’m an OK cook.”

“Probably better than me...” Kyle chuckled for a second, before going back to his normal, serious demeanor. “Now then, how’s about we get down there so nobody has to yell for us?” He didn’t even wait for an answer, and marched out of the door. Robin hopped out of the computer chair to follow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doug began to stir in his room as the smell of something cooking reached his nose. Beginning to lift himself up, he shook his head a couple of times, trying to throw off an odd feeling he had. He heard grumbling and yelped, only to laugh at himself for being startled by his own stomach.

“This better be something good for once...” He mumbled while getting up onto his feet. He turned to his left to see Pinkie still laying on his bed. She honestly looked pretty cute sleeping like that. So cute, in fact, that he almost decided to just leave her there asleep on the bed. “Eh, she’s probably just as hungry as I am.”

He grabbed hold of Pinkie’s shoulders, and began to gently shook her while saying her name. This yielded no results, as she appeared to be in a deep sleep. “Hm... *Le Gasp* Light bulb!” He said, pointing to an imaginary floating light bulb above his head.

He bent down to his knees, wrapped his arms around Pinkie, and gingerly hoisted her into his arms. “Either she’s heavier than she looks, or I’m getting weaker everyday... Ugh” He thought to himself as he walked out of the room somewhat clumsily.

On his way down the hall, the scent of the food began to grow stronger, causing Doug to quicken his pace. At this point, he was leaning dangerously forward, causing him to lose his footing just as he was entering the living room. This resulted in Doug landing onto the ground, with Pinkie laying in front of him. He grunted and looked up to see Pinkie still soundly asleep and unscathed.

“Whoa...” He gasped in surprise as he remembered what made him black out earlier. “This is freaking brilliant! She’s a pegasister, and she got her hair to smell like cott-”

“Did I interrupt something?” Coal said, coming to check on what was making such a ruckus. He had his arms crossed, and his foot was tapping the ground impatiently.

“N-no! She was just asleep, and I was going to bring her in here to get some food! That... And I was starving.... And I still am.” Doug said with a sheepish smile.

Coal sighed and replied after facepalming, “Well, pick her up, put her on the couch, and come get your food, and hurry up, it’s getting cold.”

“Yes, mother.” Doug replied, earning a cold glare from Coal. He shut up afterwards, and proceeded to pick up Pinkie and stumble to the nearby couch. While laying her down gently, he once again noticed how cute Pinkie was. He shook himself out of his daze when Pinkie turned over in her sleep, leaving her back to face him.

“This is just ridiculous...” He sighed and walked to the kitchen to find some of his group eating at the table.

“So, what are we munchin’ on tonight?” Doug asked aloud, earning a reply from Coal.

“Your Mom.” This earned several “OOOOOOOHHHHHHs” and “OH SNAPs” from everyone else at the table but Kyle, who just shook his head and proceeded to eat. Doug simply facepalmed and continued on to grab tonight’s grub. He opened the oven to see nothing cooking inside. He searched around the kitchen counter, only finding what Coal had cooked.

“I left the cupcakes alone too long... Didn’t I?” He asked to no one in particular.

“Yup.” Coal replied nonchalantly. “They are now in cupcake hell.”

“FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU!” Doug shouted slamming the oven shut. Isaac and Kyle covered their ears.

“This is going to be a loooong night... Ugh...” Isaac sighed to himself, massaging his temples.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of Doug’s yelling reverberated through the hallway, bouncing into Ryan’s room and awakening him from his nap. It had become a hobby of his, to nap before dinner in the evenings. He never had gotten over the time difference completely and had taken the slow evenings to his advantage.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he cracked them open slightly and was greeted by Rarity’s.

“Evenin’ Victoria...” He said, half asleep.

Immediately, his eyes shot open and he sat bolt upright, causing Rarity to stumble backwards slightly.

“Woah, woah, woah!” He exclaimed, raising his hands up in front of his chest, palms facing outwards. “What was that about? Not that I didn’t like it... But still!”

“Oh I... Er...” Her eyes darted around the room. “I... Was simply admiring your hair! Yes, that’s it! Your hair is just marvelous!”

Ryan instinctively reached his hand towards his head. “My... My hair?” He questioned.

“Oh yes! It’s simply perfect! So soft, smooth, and the little curls at the end make it look so... Magnifique!”

Ryan stared at her for a few seconds, thinking over what she had just said.

“Magnifique. Really? You complimented my hair... In French.” Ryan deadpanned.

“Why yes! Such splendor doesn’t deserve common talk!”

“Well... Um, thanks I guess...” Ryan swung his legs off the side of his bed, making himself more comfortable.

“So, how much French do you know?”

“I’m sorry?” She looked at him, slightly confused at the sudden subject change.

“You said my hair looked magnificent in French. You must know some basic form of the language to be able to compliment me with it.”

“Well...” She thought for a moment. “I took about three years of classes in school and I took private hourly sessions at home every week.”

“Oh, si sur une échelle de un à dix, comment êtes-vous bien?” Ryan asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms.

“Sept ou huit. Je ne suis pas le meilleur, mais j'essaie.” Replied Rarity, a smug smirk on her face.

“Impressive. Do you know any other languages? Spanish, Italian, dare I ask, Irish?”

“Oh well, I don’t know Spanish or Italian...” Replied Rarity, placing a hand under her chin, recalling the times Ryan had spoken the languages in the show. “And what do you mean ‘dare I ask’? Is it not a very well known language?”

“Well, no. The only place in the world that really speaks it is Ireland, my home country, and that’s about a thousand miles...” Ryan looked around the room for a moment, before cocking his thumb towards the window. “That way.”

“Oh, so you aren’t American?” Asked Rarity, slightly taken aback. It had never once been mentioned in the show he wasn’t from America.

“Not to sound rude, but have you payed any attention my accent?” He asked incredulously. “I mean, look at me!” He continued, jumping off the bed onto his feet and taking on a stereotypical irish accent. “I’m a wee Irish leprechaun! Ho da-tee heh-tah te-toh teh-dee!” He ended his statement by doing a little Irish jig on the spot, grinning widely.

Rarity placed a hand over her mouth, restraining her giggles. “Stop! You’re acting so... Uncouth.”

“Lady, you’re looking at the entity of immaturity... Well, Doug’s a bit worse, but I’m the insane one... Next to Ben... Huh. I really ain’t that special.” His shoulders seemed to slump for a second, before he immediately regained his composure. “Ah well, I made you smile, right? That’s good in my books!”

“Yes, quite.” She smiled warmly at him, before continuing the conversation. “So, care to teach me any Irish?”

“Really?” He asked slightly baffled. “You willingly want to learn my native language?” She nodded as him, her face showing signs of interest. “Well, that’s a first.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know... You remind me a lot of Derpy.” Remarked Camron, as he took the headphones off her head.

“Do I now?” She chuckled, remembering her nickname. “And what was the song that was playing?”

“Yeah, yeah. You do. Oh! And that was ‘Out Here’. It’s not a lot of times I meet a blonde, silly, cute girl that has cros- I mean... Googly eyes.” Camron’s flirty smile grew on his face.

“Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t bother me much hearing it from you.” She sighed, blushing slightly upon being called cute.

“Hey hey.” Chuckled Camron as he picked up her chin. “Being different is cool. It’s just how you see it, not others. Unfortunately for me...” He motioned to his clothing and hat. “I let it get to me.”

He got up, walked over to his dresser, and opened it. “I mean, shit... I hardly ever wear any of my pony clothes anymore.” He pulled out four shirts, three that had Ditzy on it and one with the Mane 6. “People judge when I do shit like that. I let their words get to me.” He dropped the clothes on the floor and laid on his bed with a grunt.

“Don’t say that. I will never judge you. You can wear them whenever you want around me. Right now,” said Ditzy as she got up, “you just need a big huUU-” Debby tripped over a bottle and landed on Camron’s chest. “Hug?”

Camron just stared at her with a tear in his eye, completely silent.

“Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sor-”

“Shut up and hug me!” cooed Camron as he grabbed both her arms and wrapped them around him into a hug.

“OH! Okay.” Purred Ditzy as she put her face against his chest. “I feel like I could just sleep here.”

“Why not?” Questioned Camron with a wink. “I’m pretty comfortable right here... You’re pretty light.”

She chuckled lightly. “Okay then.” She snuggled him some more and started to close her eyes.

Suddenly, Doug's voice echoed through the condo. “FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU!”

“And there the moment goes.” Camron got up. “Let’s see what’s cooking.” He reached down and pulled her up with one hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And that’s the basic stuff done.” Ryan concluded. He and Rarity had spent most of the evening going over basic grammar and pronunciation of Irish. She had seemed genuinely interested, and was a very fast learner, almost perfecting the Irish accent. They now sat on the ground of his bedroom, much to Rarity’s displeasure, surrounded by his old textbooks. A few empty water bottles were sitting around them, as well as a few Granola bar wrappers. The bin was also nearby, slowly being filled with apple cores.

“And as you can see,” he picked up the apple standing on a nearby table, taking one last bite before tossing it into the bin, “I love apples!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben leaned back in his chair, rolling his bottle of hooch around on the table he was sitting at as he sniffed at the aromas wafting around the room. He wanted go check on Lyra, just to make sure that she was good. Ben knew that she would be angry at waking up with a hangover and an empty stomach. Even if eating did eventually lead to vomiting. Quickly excusing himself from the kitchen, Ben made his way up to his room, planning on taking a step outside to slow everything down for a bit and relax. When he unlocked the mahogany doors, a meaty thunk was met with a slightly open door.

“Ow...”

Ben took a step onto the balcony to see Kasper and Vinyl curled up in a tight ball. Ben towered over them and cocked an eyebrow. “Uh, guys...?”

Kasper jumped up and ran inside of the house, screaming out as he went. “Warmth! I’ve missed you my sweet! Embrace me! My body is ready! Wait... What time is it? Oh shiiii... My boss is gonna kill me! Sorry guys, I won’t be eating tonight. I’ve got an article to finish!” He continuously screamed as he ran in the direction of his room upstairs.

Vinyl got up and dusted herself off with a slight pink tinge to her cheeks. “Uh... Thanks for that.”

Ben watched her as Vinyl made her way off of the balcony, barely suppressing his laughter until the door clicked closed behind him. After a few seconds of just staring at the door, he broke out into hysterics for a few good moments, the laughter almost sounding maniacal as he got to the end. Wiping a tear from his face, Ben leaned on the railing and looked at the serene night sky. He calmed down at just the sheer quiet nature of the outside of the house, and he just stayed there, drinking in the little moment of peace. Deciding that it was time to go check on Lyra, Ben turned around to open the door, only to find that he was suffering the same fate that Kasper and Torrie. Turning and seeing a tall tree just by the side of the balcony, he measured up everything to see if he could make it down his own way. “Looks like this might hurt a little.”

Ben ran from the door to the railing of the balcony and jumped clear to the adjacent tree, clinging to the trunk as his own weight made the branch under his feet creak and groan dangerously. Swearing under his breath, he scampered down the tree, jumping between the lower branches with agility. Losing his footing on one of the larger branches, he stumbled and managed to reach out and grab a small branch and pull his foot back onto it. Swearing under his breath again, he shook out his ankle and continued to hop left and right, as he shimmied his way to the bottom. With a hop, he jumped off of the last branch and hit the ground with a thud. Ben patted his shoulders to remove any dust from the tree bark, and knocked on the screen door.

Everyone sitting at the table looked up towards the door. “Who could that be at this time of night?” Doug asked curiously.

“I got this,” stated Camron as he kicked back his chair and disappeared into the kitchen. He reappeared with a large kitchen knife, and held it behind his back as he walked into the other room. He walked up to the door and asked who it was.

“It’s Mr. Sexyback, come to take back his sexy throne.” Said the familiar voice from the other side.

Camron jumped a bit from the familiarity, and put his knife down on the desk beside him. “Ben? What are you doing out there, dude?” He said, opening the door with a puzzled face.

“Oh, I don’t know. Just felt like freezing my ass off. One of those nights, eh?” He answered re-entering his home.

“I feel you. On some days...” Camron paused for a moment. “I just really like milk. Like, I crave the stuff.”

Ben facepalmed and left the room without saying a word.

“What? Does my breath smell?” Camron huffed into his palm and sniffed it. “No? Whelp.” He returned back into the dining room.

Doug was the first to ask the obvious question. “Who was that?”

“No one special, just Mr. Sexyback come back to take his sexy throne.” He said taking a seat to finish up his meal.

Doug just gawked at him. “What?” Camron just chuckled.

“It was Ben.” He mumbled while his mouth was full.

“Ben...? One of those nights, then?” Doug said releasing a small sigh.

“Yup,” Camron replied and then gulped. “One of them.”

While the guys continued to eat their delicious hamburgers, Robin and Debby were just sitting there awkwardly. Rainbow, unable to bear the silence anymore, piped up and asked. “How can you guys eat this? I mean, seriously...” She said, picking up a piece of meat with her fingertips and then dropping it back onto the plate.

“What do you mean? It’s sweet, succulent meat!” Doug said, shocked that someone would not like such juicy burgers.

“Why would you eat meat...? Honestly... A good apple or carrot would do nicely.” Rainbow said while pushing the plate away from her side of the table.

“Well, if you’re a vegetarian, we do have some apples and oranges in the fridge.” Camron said, pointing to the kitchen beside them.

Rainbow nodded and rose out of her chair when Ditzy began to get up as well. “I’ll go ahead and grab one too, meat really isn’t appetizing to me.” She followed in pursuit of Rainbow as they disappeared around the corner.

Camron stood up, and started to leave the kitchen. “Alright guys, I’m done. I’m heading up to my room. Debby, you coming?”

“In a bit. I’m still a little hungry.”

“Alright then.” He left, and silence hung over the room for several minutes.

“Darn. That really sucks...” Doug said. “I mean, them not eating meat, not Camron going to his room.”

“I see nothing wrong with it. It’s their preference, just accept it.” Isaac replied restlessly.

“But... It’s a hamburger! What’s not to love about that?” Doug pleaded pointing to his half-eaten hamburger for emphasis.

“Some people just don’t like the idea of eating animal meat. It disgusts them.” Isaac said cleaning his mouth with his handkerchief.

“NO! TAKE THIS MEAT AND LET IT MELD INTO YOUR FACE AS YOU REALIZE IT IS THE BEST FOOD EVER!” Doug shouted as he threw a spare meat patty directed at Isaac’s face. It slid off slowly, revealing a frustrated Isaac.

He picked up the juicy hamburger patty and inserted a large portion of it into his mouth. He then chomped down onto it and gulped it down hungrily. He glared at Doug coldly and said in his famous batman voice, “Delicious...”

Doug just sort of shrunk back in his chair and went back to eating his hamburger. At this time, Rainbow and Ditzy returned from the kitchen.

“What was all of that shouting about?” Rainbow asked before munching on her newly obtained apple.

Doug muttered under his breath, while Isaac simply wiped his face clean with a napkin. Coal simply waved it off and said, “This is common stuff, don’t worry about it.”

Rainbow and Ditzy just shrugged and retrieved their seats at the table.

“So, Doug...” Isaac started. “You threw meat in my face... And I need a test subject...”

“OH BALLS!” Doug darted out of the room, Isaac giving chase.

“So, Robin...” Kyle finally spoke up, and made a few people jump. They hadn’t even noticed he was in the room. “You don’t eat meat, huh?”

“Yeah...” Rainbow cocked her eyebrow, not sure where he was going with this.

Kyle leaned in closer to her, an evil grin growing on his face. “Didn’t know you were such a sissy.”

Everyone went silent, and Rainbow looked very angry. Her eyebrow was even twitching. “What did you just say to me...?”

“You heard me...” Kyle narrowed his eyes, waiting to hear what she says next.

Rainbow was silent for a moment, before she shrugged. “Fuck it. Why not?” She was picking up on Kyle’s... Colorful language.

Kyle nodded, and gave her the other cheeseburger on his plate. “Here, I don’t need to eat another. Cheeseburger, with ketchup and mustard.”

Rainbow picked it up, and stared at it for a moment. A single bead of sweat ran down her face. She took a small, shaky bite...

“That’s GOOD!” She smiled, and started chowing down on it.

Kyle crossed his arms, and nodded. “Exactly. Not only do people need meat for protein and stuff, but it’s damn tasty too.”

Ben marched into the room at that moment. He’d been listening out in the living room the whole time. “I’m living PROOF that humans need meat. I mean, where else would I get the protein for all these muscles?”

Kyle nodded. “And I need it too, otherwise I’d be so skinny I’d be mistaken for a cardboard standee, like that one time in the mall when I was about fourteen... That was hilarious.”

Ditzy stared in a mix of awe and horror at Rainbow, who was noisily plowing through her burger. “I... Wow. That’s...” She blinked, her eyes straightening for a few seconds. “That actually looks kinda good...”

“You want one too? I’m sure I can’t screw hamburgers up.” Kyle paused for a second. “I hope.”

Ditzy started waving her arms. “No! No! I’m fine! Really!”
Kyle grinned, and nodded. “Good choice. You’re a smart girl.”

“Really?”

He nodded again. “Eeyup.”

“Hey, that sounded like Big Mac- Oh!” She shut her mouth, and Kyle cocked his eyebrow.

“Big Mac...” He started rubbing his chin, interested. “You watch My Little Pony, too? All of you are pegasisters?” His grin turned into a smile. “I really was wrong about all of you! I’ve really gotta start being more trusting...”

Ditzy stared at him in confusion for a few seconds before she thought of something to say. “Uh... Yeah! I love that show... I’m just gonna go do something-”

“Wait, before you go...” Kyle looked her over quickly. “Dare I ask who your favorite pony is? I think I may know, but I like to make sure of things.”

“W-Well...” She shrunk a little bit, before another idea popped into her head. “Ditzy! My favorite pony is Ditzy! You probably guessed that from my clothes...”

“Correctamundo. Alright, that’s all I wanted to know-”

He was cut off by a loud belch. It was Rainbow, of course. She leaned back in her chair, and patted her stomach. “That was good...”

“Sure sounded like it.” Kyle sniffed the air near him, and waved the stench away from his nose. “Whew! That was a good one.”

“Oh, hey, Kyle.” Rainbow poked him on the shoulder. “Who’s your favorite pony, anyways? Is it Rainbow Dash?” She had that sly grin on her face that we all know and love.

“You got it.” He crossed his arms, and closed his eyes, letting out a content sigh. “She’s everything I wish I could be. Strong, carefree, outgoing...” Rainbow raised her eyebrows. “Hell, if I could ever meet her, she’d probably get me off my lazy ass and get me to work out and get into shape. This heart of mine probably isn’t doing too well with how I take care of myself.”

“Damn...” Ben mumbled in the corner, where he’d been standing the entire time.

“Damn is right. I wish I weren’t so lazy. I keep telling myself I’ll change, but every day is the same. I wake up, that is if I slept, get on the internet and play games on my computer, do some schoolwork, and hopefully go to sleep...” Kyle started rubbing his temples in frustration. “Aw hell, I’m sorry girls. This conversation’s taken a turn for the worse. It’s my fault.”

“Ah, don’t sweat it.” Rainbow slapped Kyle on the back. “Besides, even if you don’t have Rainbow, I bet I could whip you back into shape!” She jumped up from her chair, and stood at attention, wearing a mock-serious face. “Now drop and give me twenty!”

Kyle gave her a salute. “Yes, ma’am!” Everybody started laughing at their antics. Ben was laughing like a complete maniac he was. “You know, you really remind me of Rainbow, Robin...” Kyle stopped for a moment, and narrowed his eyes, his head dropping so he could stare at the ground, mumbling under his breath. “Rainbow... Robin... Similar characteristics...” He shook his head. “Naw, no way she thinks she’s Rainbow.”

“Uh, Kyle?” Ditzy cocked her eyebrow. “Are you OK?”

His head shot up, and he started chuckling at himself. “Nah, just thinking. I’m fine, don’t y’all go worrying about it. Actually...” Kyle checked his watch. “Damn, it’s actually getting a little late. I’m gonna get to work. Robin, are you ready to turn in?”

She stretched her arms, and yawned. “Yeah, I’m pretty beat. Are you sure you’re OK with giving me your bed?”

Kyle shrugged. “Why the hell not? I don’t use it anyways. Whenever I do sleep, it’s because I passed out in my computer chair. It’s all good.” He slowly got out of his chair, pushing off of his knees, letting out a grunt. “Alright then, we may as well get up there. To the internet!” He marched off in his usual brisk, hurried pace, Rainbow trailing along behind him.

Ditzy let out a little yawn. “I think I might go to bed too... Night, Ben.”

Coal sat on his chair, arms crossed, as he looked down at the floor. He mumbled loud enough for him and Ben to hear. “My Little Pony... I thought I was done with that.”

He left for the front of the house to collect Jackie and take her to his room.

Ben sat in the silent room for a bit, pondering Coal’s comment and collecting the few left-behind paper plates as he made his last rounds of turning off the lights and rechecking the doors before heading up to his own room. When he got there, the digital alarm clock on the side table next to the awkwardly-slumbering form of Laura read 11:15. Grumbling about how late they ate, Ben managed to shift his body so that he could sleep on the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A flash of cold steel, the warm feeling of family...

“You don’t deserve this. None of you do...”

The haggard face of a man he once knew and loved, looked up to, set into a mask of rage and hate...

“You did this to me. You made me suffer.”

A flash of cold steel... The feel of a sharp pain...

“So I will make you suffer. By making them suffer...”

A pair of glowing red eyes flashed in Ben’s field of vision as he saw nine kitchen knives flying in his direction...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Ba-bump Ba-bump Ba-bump*

Ben could hear his heart in his throat as he shot up from where he was sleeping.

The clock showed 12:15.

“Damn...” Ben cursed under his breath, checking up on the sleeping form of Lyra to make sure he didn’t rouse her from her sleep.

Ben didn’t want to tell Laura about ‘that’ yet.

Getting up, Ben slumped downstairs and into his part of the basement, where his personal exercise equipment was. Wrapping his hands with cloth, he went over and set two-hundred pounds of weight on each of sides of a barbell. Setting the barbell on a bench press holder, he shimmied under the bar. Beginning to pump the weight up and down, he started to hear the whispers of voices.

“You know... It would be... Easier to... End them.”

Shrugging them off, Ben focused his mind on the endless repetition of weightlifting. But that only prolonged the inevitable.

“You can’t ignore... You know you... Cannot resist.”

“DAMMIT!” Ben placed the bar on its receptacle and sat up, thanking the soundproofing that separated the first floor from the basement. “It’s just a bit past 12:15, I can’t take them yet...”

“It’s useless. You can’t stop me.”

Ben got up and yelled at the blank walls surrounding him. “YOU’RE NOT REAL!”

“Now Ben, we both know that I am more real than this friendship you have.”

A humanoid shadow that looked to be made out of steam walked out of the far corner. The voice seemed to emanate from it.

“You know that what you have is false. Even your subconscious knows it.”

Ben glared at the familiar apparition. “You know that every time you do this, you get less control? Every time, I tell this to my friends?”

A malicious weezy chuckle slithered into Ben’s ears.

“Oh? It doesn’t serve to make you better friends. Quite. The. Opposite. In fact, it makes them hate you more, if possible.”

The shadow stalked a bit closer. If it had a mouth, Ben would be able to feel its breath against his skin.

“Do you know what they say behind your back? They say you’re a freak. A monster. Something that they have to watch every day just in case you snap, and try to kill them all.”

Ben swung his fist at the shadow’s head, but it just warped around his arm. A vein was thumping on his forehead. “That’s not true. You’re not real. You are just my imagination. My sick, twisted imagination.”

A wind seemed to pick up around the room, causing Ben’s clothes to dramatically flap in the breeze.

“Not real? Am I not real? If I wasn’t real, then how could I do this...?”

As those words dripped into Ben’s ears, the wind continued to pick up, forcing him into a corner and pinning him there.
,
“I would tell you that you could easily end this... But you seem just too stupid to listen to reason.”

Ben was pinned in place, all he could do was stare angrily at his tormentor. “You sick bastard. I am you, you twisted piece of shit. You shouldn’t even be here anymore.”

Without saying anything, the shadow approached Ben, its appearance not being affected by the powerful winds ripping around the room. It lifted a hand, and touched Ben on the forehead, disappearing at the same time.

*Thump-Thump*

Ben could feel the blood rush to his head, the vision around his eyes tinted red as a searing pain ripped through his skull.

A flash of cold steel, the warm feeling of family, interrupted by a thudding rent of pain.

“YOU’RE NOT REAL!”

The haggard face of a man he once knew and loved, looked up to, set into a mask of rage and pure hate.

“LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!”

The creeping feeling of other things inside of the house.

“JUST GO! LEAVE!”

Staring at his hands and the blood covering them, sorrow wracked his body.

The wind picked up to almost hurricane levels, forcing Ben to slowly slide down to the floor. He felt a stabbing pain down on his abdomen. Reaching down, Ben felt something wet and warm, and came up with hands covered in blood. Curling up into the fetal position, Ben rocked back and forth with his eyes screwed shut. He repeated the same thing to himself, endlessly.

“You’re not real, you’re not real, you’re not real, you’re not FUCKING real...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Camron abruptly woke up and coughed a few times. Scratching the back of his head, he shook his head and looked to his right to see Ditzy slowly drooling on his pillow and murmuring in her sleep. With a light chuckle, he moved some of her hair off her face and sighed.

“Could have sworn I had heard something...” he mumbled as he pushed himself off his bed. Walking out of his room, he quietly moved corner to corner, checking around carefully. “H-hello? Scootaloo... Scoo... Scootaloo?” After a few moments, not a single sound was made. “M-marco? P-p-polo?”

He turned and slowly descended down the stairs, making his way into the workout room. Hearing rough and jagged breathing, he sped up and turned to face the source of the sound. “OH SHIT! GUYS, GUYS, GUYS, GUYS!” Yelled Camron as he ran toward Ben’s idle body.

We got you a chapter-title, but Ben eated it!

Camron stopped at Ben’s side, and shifted his body so that he could get a look at him. Snapping his fingers in front of Ben’s face, Camron tried to bring him out of his dazed stupor.

“God dammit, Ben! Wake the fuck up!” Out of desperation, he just shook his fist in front of Ben’s face. Then, something started to growl. A large hand enveloped Camron’s neck as Ben’s eyes narrowed, but still kept their far-off look. As Ben got to his feet and kept Camron at eye level, he felt himself rise into the air by a considerable amount.

At this point, Doug had rushed down the stairs to assess the situation. He gawked at the scene before him, which was Ben holding Camron by the neck in mid-air. “GUYS! BEN’S SNAPPED, GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE! ASAP!”

The next guy through the door was Isaac. He arrived in time to see Camron lose consciousness.

“Ben, snap out of it man! We’re your friends!” Doug shouted. Ben heard this, but was failing to acknowledge it.

“Ben, you need to calm down. He is not your brother, he is Camron, your friend,” Isaac insisted.

Ben continued to stare down at Camron as the glazed, unfocused look in his eyes began to clarify.

“Dude, we’re your buddies. Friends don’t hurt each other!” Doug pleaded with Ben, trying to snap him out of his rage. He began to plead again, but was interrupted by a loud, frightened squeak.

The girls.

Turning his dead gaze to the multi-colored group that just piled into the gym, cocking his head as he saw a few figures with the same color schemes as a few certain ponies that he watched regularly. His own overwhelmed brain made the connection, and it shocked him into coherency. His eyes regaining focus and clarity, Ben snapped his head to what was in his hand. “Camron...?” He muttered, releasing his captive from his hand. Ben stared at Camron’s inert form for a few seconds, before his brain started to work again. “Oh shit, Camron!”

Isaac quickly moved towards Camron, bending down and placing his ear over his mouth, making sure he was still breathing.

“He’s going to be fine. No need to worry.” He reported. “Although I think it’d be best if you brought him to his room, Ben.”

“Afterwards Ben,” Ryan spoke up, walking through the group of girls. “You and I can talk, alright? Better to get this off your chest then to leave it pent up, y'know? It is kinda my job, after all.”

“Yeah... Yeah...” Slowly, Ben reached down and picked up Camron, hoisting him over his shoulder. He made his way out of the gym, averting his eyes from that of the girls, Ryan in tow.

Abruptly stopping at the door, Ryan turned around to face Isaac. Ben turned around too, confused as to why he stopped.

Ryan turned around to face Ben, hearing his footsteps fall silent. “You keep goin’ Ben, I’ll meet you in my bedroom, alright?”

Ben nodded and turned around, slowly making his way down the hall towards Camron’s room. Ryan rounded on Isaac again, a concerned look on his face.

“I’m getting worried Isaac. Those flashbacks of his have been getting worse.”

Isaac opened his mouth to say something, but Kyle came bursting into the room. “Guys! What the hell happened?! I heard yelling!” He looked over everyone, and rubbed the back of his head. “I’d have gotten down here sooner, but I was writing a report for college... And I had my music playing... Really loud. Sorry...”

“Ben had another episode...” Ryan pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m starting to wonder if his schizophrenia is getting worse...”

Kyle let out a sigh, and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. “Shit... Of course things have to get crazy when these girls come along.” He turned to the girls. “Hey, I’m real sorry about this. We didn’t know something like this would happen...”

Twilight shook her head, and tried to smile. “No, no, it’s... OK. I mean, he couldn’t help it... Right?”

Kyle nodded. “Yeah. When he’s having an ‘episode’ he can’t control his actions. He basically isn’t ‘Ben’ while it’s happening.”

“So what in tarnation is makin’ him go all crazy like that anyways?” AJ cocked her eyebrow.

“Like I said, schizophrenia.” Kyle scratched his chin. “It’s a mental condition. It pretty much causes you to have these attacks, and when it happens, you lose your hold on reality. What we were seeing wasn’t what Ben was seeing. God knows what he thought was going on. For all we know, he thought Camron was some guy trying to hurt him or something. We can ask him later.”

“But how could somebody have such a condition?” Everyone’s attention turned to Fluttershy, who shrank a little bit. “I mean, isn’t there a cure...?”

Ryan shook his head. “No. There’s medication to suppress it, but I don’t think there’s a way to cure it. It’s something a person has to live with.”

“That sounds...” Rarity looked to the floor, casting about for a word to use. “Well, to be frank, it sounds absolutely terrible.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Kyle stretched, and yawned. “Oh man, I’m tired... Hey, hows about we all get back to bed? We can talk about this more tomorrow...”

Ben came walking back down, he stretched his arms out, groaning a bit in his speech. “What’s this talking about something tomorrow...?”

The girls seemed to shift from feeling concerned to awkward and tense.

Ben dropped his arms, almost sensing the sudden shift of emotions. His bloodshot eyes scanned the group curiously. “Guys... What were you talking about?”

Isaac shifted his weight to the other foot. “Well Ben, we were talking about you. The girls were curious about what was happening.”

Ben’s face distorted into confusion, and he shook his head a bit. “Then why was I feeling like someone was talking behind my back? It got that weird silence when I came back into the room.”

Kyle decided to jump in to defuse the situation before anything went wrong. “Probably because you just have that instinct, you know? Like, if someone’s talking about you, and you’re not there, they’re talking behind your back? I would know, I used to be like that.”

Ben shrugged. “I guess. I mean, if you girls were talking about my condition, don’t act like you weren’t. I mean, I had to bring it up with you sometime. Anyway, where’s Laura...?” Suddenly, the memory of what had snapped him out of his episode in the first place resurfaced. They had the colorings of the characters in MLP, right down to their hair. Even the names. Laura easily could sound like Lyra. Jackie? That’s not even trying hard to cloud itself. She had to be AJ. Ben turned to his friends, and motioned to them. “Guys, I gotta tell you something. Let's go over to that equipment room real quick.” Ben turned to the group of girls. “Ladies, please excuse us.”

Ben huddled all of the guys into the small room, all of them voicing small protests along the way. Kyle was the first one to get outright mad. “Ben, what the hell?!”

Ben raised his eyebrow at Kyle. “Kyle, I will politely ask you to shut the fuck up so I can talk.”

“Uh...” Kyle rolled his eyes. “Alright. But I don’t see why we had to huddle in here...”

“Well that’s it,” Ben motioned to the door leading to where the girls were waiting, “it’s about them. I think that they actually are the ponies they’ve cosplayed as. I mean, just hear me out, I’ve got a bunch of reasons why.”

Kyle raised his brow at this, and opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it. He nodded. “Well, out with it then.”

Ben nodded. “Alright, so my first piece of evidence is their names. Laura? Easily turns into the pronunciation of Lyra. And Jackie. I don’t even think I need to explain why she’s AJ. Penny has been called Pinkie once or twice by AJ. Also, explain why she acts like Pinkie Pie all the time. Ditzy Doo? Well, she’s Debby. For Christ’s sake, her last name is Bubbles. Vinyl Scratch? Torrie. While the name might not match, her eyes and hair all fit to a T same as the rest of them. I mean, I think those are real eyes, not contacts, and unless she’s albino, I doubt there’s any other way to explain that. RD? Robin. Robin Wonder. Gee, where’s the proof in that? I mean, think about all of that. The proof is almost crystal clear, guys. Crazier bullshit’s been done to us.”

Kyle closed his eyes, and went into deep thought. “OK. That’s it. I’m taking the wheel from here, Ben.” He threw the door open, and marched out to the girls. “That’s it, you’re all hiding something from us, and God dammit, you’re gonna tell me.”

The girls all looked at each other, and then back to Kyle. Twilight stepped forward. “What, are you planning to interrogate us?”

Kyle nodded, and then narrowed his eyes. “That’s a good way to put it, yes. This is an interrogation, and all of you are gonna answer my questions.”

Twilight furrowed her brow. “This is ridiculous!”

Kyle crossed his arms. “I don’t care. Now, first question: Where the hell are all of you from, and why are you here?”

“We already told you, we’re from Canada. We’re here because we just got out of a convention!”
An evil grin grew on Kyle’s face. “You’re lying to me. I was researching earlier. There are no conventions around here for at least three more months. But enough about that for a second... What city are you from?”

Twilight flinched. “Uh... Well...” She had no idea what to say. She only knew about Canada because it had been mentioned a few times in the show. She didn’t know any of the cities. “Well... The capital!”

Kyle started tapping his finger on his arm. “The name of said capital is...?”

Twilight took a deep breath. “Sorry, I’m having a hard time remembering. It’s a- Uh, confusing name.”

“Mhm. Sure. Next up: Since you couldn’t have gone to a convention, why do you all have your hair like that?”

“Well, we like the show too! We like the characters, so much that we dress up like them.” Twilight smiled, and Kyle was getting even angrier.

“Right...” He gritted his teeth. “Well... What’s the full name of the show?”

Twilight’s smile faded. She’d only heard it referred to as MLP, but she connected the dots fairly quickly. “My Little Pony?”

“What’s the rest of the name?” Kyle paused for a moment. “And the slogan, for that matter?”

Twilight quickly surmised that it would probably be what she’d learned after meeting her friends. “Friendship is Magic?”

“Dammit. You got it...” Kyle closed his eyes and sighed. “Hm...OK. What was the first episode?”

“Uh...” Twilight was completely stumped. The first day of their lives? When they got their Cutie Marks? When she became Celestia’s student? “It was...”

Kyle’s evil smile returned as he began to tap his foot impatiently. “Go on...”

“I...” Twilight was drawing a complete blank. She had no idea what to say. There were too many possibilities. “I don’t know.” She frantically tried to think of something to say as an excuse. “We don’t watch the show, we just like the characters.”

“But how could you like the characters if you don’t watch the show?” Kyle cocked his eyebrow. “Hm?”

Twilight thought up a good excuse. “We read stories about them...?”

“Right...Fanfiction...Damn, you’re good, I’ll give you that,” Kyle leaned in a bit, “Twilight.”

“Oh, thank you-” Twilight clasped her hands over her mouth.

“I knew it!” Kyle fist pumped. “You think you’re Twilight! Well...” Kyle looked over the other girls. “What about the rest of you?”

Applejack rubbed her eyes, and sighed. “Well, Ah’ reckon you got us. We ain’t humans. We’re ponies...”

Kyle’s arms fell to his side. “You can’t be serious.”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Hey, come on, it can’t be that crazy, can it?”

“Told you guys,” Ben stepped into the room, a smug grin adorning his face, “I’m right. They’re ponies.”

Kyle threw his arms up into the air. “Are you listening to yourself?! You honestly think these girls are magical talking ponies from a colorful land free of conflict and all that shit?”

“Actually, Kyle...” Isaac pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket. “Ben’s right. I did a test on a strand of Pinkie’s hair. That’s not pink dye. Her hair is naturally pink.”

Ben’s smug grin faded a bit as he turned to Isaac. “Dude. I appreciate that you’re backing me up, but that’s-”

Isaac held up a hand to stop him. “Creepy? I know. But I was curious, because their hair looked too real to be dyed.”

“Have you all gone fucking crazy?!” Kyle grabbed his head. “The ponies aren’t REAL! But... I mean... The hair test... This doesn’t make any sense. I just... They can’t be real...” He straightened up, and his face went blank. “OK. Whatever. I’m going to my room.” He walked off.

Ben stood there for a few seconds with his shoulders hunched over. Twilight cleared her throat, staring at the door where Kyle just left. “Is he going to be okay?”

Ben waved his hand at her. “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine, Twilight.”

“Well,” Ryan spoke up. “This is awkward.” He scratched the side of his head. “I need to sleep on this. See you guys in the morning. The usual for breakfast?” Ben and Isaac nodded. “Right, and I’m guessing you girls are vegetarians...?” Each of them nodded back in turn. “Christ, another migraine coming on...” He slowly made his way through the group of girls, heading back to his room.

“P-Pinkie...?” Doug muttered, pointing towards the pink-haired girl. She nodded in reply with a toothy grin on her face. Doug sputtered gibberish for a few seconds, “Must... Not... Faint... Huurrk...” and then fell backwards as stiff as a plank. Many facepalms were awarded to him.

“Wait...” Ben’s face broke into a manic grin. “You’re all ponies. You’re all ponies, and I was right and not seeing things! Yes, SUCCESS!” Running forward, he scooped the humanized ponies into one huge bear hug. “SANITY BEAR HUG!”

“BEN!” Ryan called down the hall. “Remember the last time you gave someone a bear hug?”

Ben didn’t put the group down. “But this time it’s seven people! It’s different!”

“Remember the last time you said that as well?” Ryan called back.

“Oh, all right...” Ben sat the oxygen-deprived girls down. Grumbling under his breath, he turned back through the doorway. “No, Ben, you can’t hug this. No Ben, you can’t hug that. Ben, stop hugging things...”

Isaac chuckled, “Well, I suppose we should all return to our rooms, and like Ryan said, discuss this more tomorrow over breakfast.” He bent down and picked up the rigid body, hoisting him onto his shoulder. “I’ve got ‘plank Doug’ over here, you girls go ahead and head back to sleep. Twilight, I’ll see you in my room soon, I would like to discuss a couple of things with you...if you don’t mind that is?”

Twilight smiled, “Sure.” She said walking out of the gym.

“Jeez, Doug, you’re not the best smelling person in the world...” Isaac coughed a couple of times. Doug only responded with incoherent gibberish. “Right...” He let out an exhausted sigh.

“No he doesn’t! He smells like cupcakes!” Pinkie Pie said, appearing in front of Isaac’s face.

Isaac just ignored her and began walking out of the basement with Pinkie Pie hopping happily behind. “Yup, that’s definitely Pinkie...”

~~~~~~~~~~

Ben walked into his room, still preoccupied with the idea of animated marshmallow ponies actually being in his world. Scanning around, he saw the figure of Lyra sprawled out on the bed.

“How the hell is she still asleep?”

~~~~~~~~~~

Kyle sat on his bed, his face buried in his knees, crying. After storming off from the gym, he’d begun to think. His train of thought went back to three years ago. When something terrible happened to him.

“I fucked up real good...” He leaned his head back, staring at his ceiling. “What the hell did I do to deserve that? More importantly, what did SHE do to deserve that? She never did anything to anybody, so why?”

Suddenly, a few knocks on his door rang through his room. “Kyle...?” It was Rainbow. “Hey, can I come in? Maybe we could talk about this?”

The last thing Kyle wanted to do was talk to any of the girls. “No. Go away.”

“But-”

“GO AWAY!” Kyle rubbed his eyes. “I don’t wanna talk to anybody right now. Just... Just go away.”

A long silence followed. He kept staring at his door, hoping that there wouldn’t be another response. Footsteps leading away told him that Rainbow did as she was told. He went back to his thoughts, and began his slow descent into the darkness of his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus had slept through the whole thing. It’s not like he wanted to be a part of any drama anyways. After years of pretty much being a shrink to his friends online, he had developed a sense of isolationism. He had resolved conflicts between friends, saved relationships, reputations, and even lives. He had his own problems but no one had ever seen them. He never really trusted anyone, especially when his emotional state was the matter at hand.

He basically lived a lie since he was 15.

All everyone ever saw was a happy face. A facade, that's all it was. Not a single person aside from his mother had known what had broken him down and caused his emotional state to become so fragile.

Marcus sat up in bed after a rather troubling dream and sighed into his hands. The dream reminded him of days long since gone, but had left a horrible scar. He looked at the long scars on his left arm, reminders of what had happened long ago. A few tears fell to decorate the slight valleys that were his failed suicide attempts.

"How could I have been so stupid?" He said to himself, a bittersweet smile adorning his face. "I still have people to help..."

He swung his legs out of bed and he stood, walking over to his door. On the way, he stopped by the mannequin that held his Yokai. It was black with golden trim. Strapped to the waist was a matching set of Katana, Wakazashi, and Tanto.

"Heh...Shelled out way too much money for this. Totally worth it, though."

He walked past it and opened the door to see a startled Flora who let out a squeak.

"Oh! M-Marcus! You um...You missed Ben...He had an episode..."

"Oh? Damn fool, forgot to take his medicine again. I try to warn him, but NOOO! He has to go against my advice!"

Marcus kept grumbling to himself and walked into the bathroom where he slammed the door. This made his pink haired friend jump.

She waited patiently for Marcus to get done in the bathroom before following him into his bedroom.

“You ready for bed, Flora?”

She simply nodded and sat down on his bed while he dug around in his closet.

“Let’s see....Where the hell did I put that cot...?”

Fluttershy sat on his bed and looked around at everything Marcus has decorating his room. Her eyes wandered from the Japanese maps, to the weapons, to the scrolls hanging from the walls. Above his bed hung a Naginata and a Nodachi. Katanas were positioned on racks around the room, each one a different colour. There were three large scrolls with a single Japanese character on them.

The one beside the door was 力.

The one above his computer was 希望.

The one beside his headboard was 愛.

Fluttershy looked over to the man digging in his closet. “Marcus...? What do those scrolls say...?”

Marcus dragged a medium sized cot from his closet and got it ready. “The one by the door stands for strength. I look at that every day before I leave my room so that I know what I need. The one over my computer means hope. I chose that one there because I’ve been given hope through technology. It would always give me a reason to keep going, even when my day turned out to be crap. The one over my bed is love. Some people think that I put it there because that’s where love is made, but naw. I chose to put it there to remind me that I live with people who love me. It’s by my bed so it will be the last thing I think about before I go to bed.”

“That’s...very interesting, Marcus. But...why in a different language?”

“Hah! Everyone asks me that! I chose Japanese because I love the culture. Plus, they have different honorifics or suffixes to add to a name to show someone’s status in relation to yourself! I think it’s really neat. Oh, and their technology. It’s so advanced in comparison to America’s.”

“Oh, I see...”

“Anyways, we should probably head to bed.”

“Yeah...Oh, Marcus?”

“What’s up?”

“You...Um....Wouldn’t happen to have any pajamas I can borrow...W-would you...?”

“Err, not exactly pajamas, but I have something you can wear. It’s...” Marcus’ eyes flitted back and forth. “Not exactly the most appealing thing, though....”

“It’s okay. But um...I would like something else to wear...Sleeping in clothes I’m going to wear tomorrow feels....Weird...”

“Alright, gimme a sec.”

Marcus walked over to his dresser and dug out some clothing. He handed it to Fluttershy and stepped out of the room, allowing her to change. A few minutes passed before Fluttershy told him he could come back in.

Marcus was shocked to see how cute she was, although, it was to be expected. He had given her what he wears to bed every night: One of his T-Shirts and a pair of boxer shorts. The shirt was a bit big for her, considering Marcus’ build.

“Alrighty!” Marcus clapped his hands together and turned off the light. “Bedtime!”

He and Fluttershy got comfortable, Marcus on the cot, Fluttershy on his bed, and they drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

Isaac walked into Doug’s room and plopped him down onto the rug on the floor. Pinkie dog-piled onto him, causing him to wake up and see the toothy-grinned Pinkie laying on top of him. This, once again, caused him to faint.

“Awww... Time for sleep already...?” Pinkie turned towards Isaac and asked, putting on her puppy face.

Isaac simply smirked and nodded and walked out of the room, eager to get his own share of sleep. Pinkie got up and jumped onto the bed a couple of times before getting bored. She slumped against her pillow and began snoozing immediately. A few minutes after drifting to sleep, her head slipped onto the edge of the bed, leaving her mane to ruffle against Doug’s face. He crumpled up his nose, and mumbled in his sleep, “Frosting... Cake... Nummmy...” As he began to dream of tasty treats and a certain pink pony.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan closed the door to his bedroom, walking over to the balcony door and proceeding outside, leaning against the railing. He gazed out over the forest below him, his balcony hanging just above the tree line, letting the air clear his mind. He brought his hand up to his head and rubbed his temples, trying to make sense of Ben’s outburst.

“Okay. So. Ponies. Real ponies. Ugh. Why does this hurt...” Sighing in agitation, he sat himself down on a nearby deck chair, cupping his head in his hands. “How in the hell is this even remotely possible? Not that I’m complaining but... I’m talking to myself again. Great. Ah well, talking to yourself is scientifically proven to make you smarter! Screw you Isaac! I can be insane and smart!”

Reveling in his victory, Ryan stood up and leaned against the rail again, grinning madly as he looked over the edge.

“I. Am. Victorious!”

“Um... Ryan?” A voice from behind spoke.

Ryan jumped into the air and spun around, clutching his chest. His eyes darted around madly before resting on Rarity. After seeing her, he smiled slightly, before letting go of his chest. He kicked off his shoes and turned around, resting his hands on the balcony again. In one swift movement, he swung his legs over the edge and plummeted off the balcony...

… Straight into the swimming pool below.

He went under for ten seconds before swimming back to the surface, poking his head out and looking back up to his balcony.

“I’m very happy I chose that balcony y’know.” He said in a casual tone. “Whenever I feel like I’m in the mood to jump off a balcony, I can just go without any worries. Because, y’know, who doesn’t get the urge to jump off a balcony every once in awhile?” Rarity just continued to look at him with a mixture of horror and confusion.

“I. Regret. NOTHING!” Ryan proclaimed, before diving back underneath the surface of the water again.

Rarity stood there for a moment longer, staring in absolute shock, before spinning around, placing her hand on her forehead and falling over the balcony, straight down into the swimming pool.

“Shit...”

~~~~~~~~~~

Ditzy sat on the side of Camron’s bed, swinging her legs and looking around the room.

“Sheesh, how long does one person stay knocked out?”

As if an answer to her question, Camron’s eyes popped open. He just laid there, staring at his ceiling for a second, before he said anything.

“I got knocked tha’ fug out, didn’t I?”

Ditzy nodded. “Yeah, you did. But hey, you’re awake now, and I can’t sleep. What do we do now?”

Camron’s stomach growled with the volume of a thousand narwhals baconing at once.

“I think I could go for something to eat.”

Ditzy pointed to the plate of muffins sitting on the nightstand next to the bed. “What about those?”

Camron looked at them, and stared for a second or two, feeling like he was forgetting something. “I... Guess so. Why not?”

Ditzy grabbed two of the muffins, handing one to Camron. She went to bite into her muffin, but stopped when she got a whiff of the smell.

“These smell kinda funny.”

Camron shrugged. “They’re homemade. Maybe that’s why?”

“Guess so... Bottoms up!”

They both bit into their muffins, not realizing they were snacking on Camron’s special pot muffins.

~~~~~~~~~~

After the whole incident with Ben, Coal, followed by Applejack, silently walked back to his room to finish sleeping off the rest of the night. She noticed a concerned look on his face and asked him what was wrong, but was answered with a “Just leave it be”. She wanted to press further, but felt it better to just ask when they wake up.

Coal opened the door and glanced to his computer. He let out a sigh before moving towards his blanket and pillow that was placed neatly on the floor beside the bed. Applejack plopped onto his bed and was about to lay back when Coal began speaking.

“I can’t believe this... I thought I gave this up... Why is this all coming back now...?” Coal said out loud to himself as he laid down and pulled his covers over him. Applejack overheard him and asked what he meant by that.

He sighed and answered tiredly, “For a long while when I was younger, I was really into the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic thing,” He paused to yawn, and then continued. “I was reading fan fiction, writing my own fan fiction, and even had some merchandise. I was all into that. Then, one day, it pretty much hit me.”

“What did?”

“That I had more important things to worry about. A.K.A., school, a job, my family, and life, in general. I guess I just sort of grew out of it.”

Applejack nodded, “Ah can understand that, family is more important than anythin' to me. Do ya think y'all will ever get back in ta' it?”

Coal simply shrugged, “I don't know. Only time will tell, I suppose. G'night, Jackie.” he said before drifting into slumber.

AJ sighed as she plopped her head on the pillow and pulled her covers over her.

“G'night, Coal.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Rainbow knocked on Kyle’s door again. She’d been doing so for the past ten minutes, and he wasn’t responding at all. She was getting a little worried. After trying to talk to him the first time, it took her a minute to realize that she was supposed to be staying in Kyle’s room.

“Come on, Kyle, lemme in! What’d I do?”

“FUCK. OFF.”

That wasn’t the reaction she was expecting at all. “Jeez, you don’t gotta be so rude! Why’re you so mad anyways? What’d we do?”

“I said... FUCK. OFF.”

“Would you stop being such an asshole and just open the door?! You can’t stay locked in there forever!”

“Like hell I can’t!”

Rainbow rolled her eyes, and headed downstairs to the living room, flopping down on the couch.

“What a jerk. Making me sleep on the couch like this...” Rainbow’s sulking was interrupted by a sudden growl from her stomach. “Great…” She sighed at her own carelessness, having eaten barely anything all day. “Wonder what’s in the fridge.”

She got up and made her way to the fridge, only to stop up when she heard a sound from the kitchen. She peered in, and saw a large shadow on the wall.

“Oh god, it’s the worm!” She whispered to herself. Penumbra was not helping right now. “Just one more reason to be pissed at Kyle right now...”

It was writhing and twisting on the wall. It looked like it was going to attack her. She went into a fighting stance and prepared herself for the inevitable face-off... only to have the battle abruptly stop when the fridge-door closed and revealed Kasper standing with an armful of various foods.

Silence.

Kasper was the first to break it, saying. “Ehm… Care for a granola bar?”

It took Rainbow a few moments to realize what was happening. Her stomach gave a clear growl in affirmation. “Yes please… Wait, what are you doing here?” Kasper glanced at the food and then at Rainbow. “No, I mean, why are you up at this time? I didn’t see you when Ben had that breakdown…”

“Ben had another attack, huh?” She nodded. “I should stop listening to loud music when I write. Gotta have some form of situational awareness I guess. Guess that explains why Vin suddenly left the room...Wait, why didn’t she tell me?” He let out a small sigh. “Well, I had to work when we were eating dinner and I’m feeling quite hungry, so there’s my excuse. Why aren’t you asleep?”

“That bastard Kyle locked me out of his room, and he won’t let me back in. I have to sleep on the couch.”

Kasper glanced at the calendar on the wall. “Ah, it’s that date. Don’t worry he’ll come around in a little while.” Kasper trailed off for a bit, before proclaiming, “Now then! About that granola bar. Can I offer a warmer couch as well? I was supposed to sleep on my own couch with Vin using my bed, but I don’t think I’m gonna sleep anyways. That damn article is giving me trouble. At the very least, my room is warmer than the living room.”

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “You have a couch in your room? Why?”

“The question is: Why not? Come on, my room is upstairs.”

At the promise of a nicer couch, Rainbow followed Kasper upstairs to his room. She suddenly remembered an odd detail. They never actually showed Kasper’s room in the show. He would always just retire to his room. Wonder what it looks like?

Kasper’s room was… Well… Rainbow could safely say that Vinyl had found her soulmate. There was sound equipment and other devices, such as wires and things Rainbow couldn’t name, scattered around the room. And if the snoozing Vinyl on the bed was any indication, Vinyl had taken to it pretty well.

“Here’s the couch, make yourself at home. I’ll be on my computer, writing, if you need anything.” Kasper said as he made his way to his desk. Halfway there, he stopped up. “And again, don’t worry about Kyle. He’ll come around.”

Already laying on the couch, Rainbow groaned. “Seriously, what’s his deal?!”

Kasper let out a small sigh as he sat down in his chair. “That’s not up to me to say, sadly. If he wants to tell you, he’ll do so. If not, please don’t press the issue too much. Goodnight.” He sat down at his desk, muttering under his breath. “I never had to deal with these kind of things back in Europe... Wonder what happened?”

Rainbow decided to drop the issues as Kasper had said and closed her eyes.

The couch was pretty comfy.

T/N: Hey, Traveler's note. I'm gonna make sure that these suckers get to working more often on this, and try to organize it for faster efficiency.
- Sean Nathaniel Brandenburg (Nathan Traveler)

I DONT LIKE THIS STORY AND I THINK THAT I SHOULD JUST TAKE OUT BY BELT AND WHIPO THE LIVING BALLS OUT OF IT. ALSO, JELLO PUDDING. THAT IS ALL.
-The Producer

DRUNK BEN IS BEST BEN!

The kitchen in the house was filled with the sweet aroma of Ryan making breakfast, yet a distinct smell of pool-accessories. Ryan was wearing his manly heart-filled apron. The first two to enter the kitchen area are Derpy and Camron. Ryan turns to see both of them looking sort of... Out of this world.

“Um... Hungry?”

The two hungry potheads simply giggled in response.

“Agh... It’s that time of the month again... Isn’t it?”

Camron, while keeping a smile on his face, nodded in response. Derpy, however, kept giggling as Ryan let out a sigh. “Go sit at the table, I’ll get this finished as fast as I can...” He said pointing towards the table.

They stumbled towards the table. Derpy seemed to be in worse shape than Camron was. They sat down and leaned back lazily, staring idly at the ceiling. Ryan sighed heavily, “Camron must’ve shown her the secret stash... Why did we even let him bring that here...?”

Ryan turned back towards the stove and began pre-heating the burners, preparing them for the meal. Once he had set them, he turned towards the counter and started to mix a pancake batter, making sure to have the batter thin to make the house favourite flat pancakes. Before pouring it onto the pan, he sprinkled two teaspoons of sugar into the mix, making the pancakes sweeter. After this he poured the mix into the pan and left them there, before moving on.

As he started preparing the other foods, he started humming a tune to himself. Ditzy’s ears perked up at the all too familiar tune, and she grins madly before jumping at what sounded like a door being knocked off of its hinges. Ryan flinched slightly, burning his hand on the hot pan.

“Christ! That’s gonna sting... Wait... What was that noise?” He mumbled to himself, staring through the open kitchen door.

“Oh well,” He said, turning back around. “Guess it was no- ARGH!”

Ryan jumped back, looking in shock at Pinkie sitting on top of the once clear counter, a wide grin on her face, and a confused Doug on her back.

“Okay, yeah, you’re Pinkie.” Ryan said to himself.

Doug stirred, and began mumbling in his half-asleep state. “Wh...Whas goin’ on... Why... Counter... Wha...?”

Suddenly, the sound system started to play by itself, as Pinkie began to sing along to the same tune that Ryan was humming not moments ago.

“All you have to do is take a cup of flour, add it to the mix!

Now just take a little something sweet not sour, a bit of salt, just a pinch!”

Ryan began to smile, and started to sing along. Doug went wide-eyed, as he began to realize what was being sung.

”Baking these treats is such a sinch, add a teaspoon of vanilla!

Add a little more, and you count to four, and you never get your filla!”

Both Ryan and Pinkie jumped forwards and linked arms, singing the last line together, as Doug slowly started to stand up. Camron and Derpy tried to sing along, but were having too much trouble from keeping themselves from laughing.

”Cupcakes, so sweet and tasty!

Cupcakes, don’t be too hasty!

Cupcakes!”

Suddenly. Doug sprang up and shouted the last line, throwing his hands up into the air.

”CUPCAKES, CUPCAKES CUPCAAAAKES!”

Everyone simply stared at each other before falling over into a fit of laughter.

“Wait... Where’s the food...? And what smells like Chlorine...?” Slurred Camron, a confused look present on his face.

Ryan let out a small chuckle. “That... Is actually a funny story...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I. Regret. NOTHING!” Ryan proclaimed, before diving back underneath the surface of the water again.

Rarity stood there for a moment longer, staring in absolute shock, before spinning around, placing her hand on her forehead and falling over the balcony, straight down into the swimming pool.

“Shit...”

Rarity fell into the pool, head-first. Lucky for her, the pool was quite deep, else it would have been quite deadly. Ryan’s lifeguard skills immediately kicking into action, he swam underwater and grabbed Rarity, pulling her back up to safety. Once breaking the water’s surface, he wrapped his arms around her torso and began to backstroke towards the shallow end of the pool, making sure she was kept upright, and no stray water was drifting into her slightly open mouth.

Once reaching the edge of the pool, Ryan climbed out, carefully lifting Rarity from the pool. He noticed she was fairly light, and easily brought her over to one of the nearby deck chairs, placing her down and positioning her on her back.

Ryan kneeled down beside her, tilted her head back, opened her mouth and placed his ear up to it, checking her breathing.

“Okay, she’s still breathing, but I can definitely hear some liquid moving around in her throat.” He mumbled to himself. “Been a while, but I gotta try...”

He stood up, and placed the heel of his hand in the center of Rarity’s chest, and his second hand on top, gripping his first hand. He began to press down on the chest, making sure to press hard enough to push the water out, but not to break the ribs, like what happened in training...

Ryan shuddered at the thought, and continued to press down on the chest. After thirty chest compressions, he took a quick check of her breathing, and noticed it hadn’t changed from the original sound.

“Gotta do, what you gotta do...”

Tilting her head back, he opened her mouth again, pinched her nose, and, collecting himself, began closing the distance between them, beginning to perform rescue breathing.

Mere centimeters away from Rarity’s mouth, she coughed, sending water straight into Ryan’s face, causing him to jump from shock and stumble backwards, falling back into the swimming pool. He went under, but resurfaced quickly, and again climbed out of the pool, making his way back over to Rarity. He noticed she was still unconscious, but, after checking, saw her breathing was back to normal.

Carefully, Ryan picked her up, letting her lean against his chest, and began to walk back into the house. He took the key from underneath the flower pot on the windowsill, unlocked the back door, walked inside,closed the back door and, quietly, made his way to his bedroom.

Once down the hall, he made his way into his open bedroom and placed Rarity down on the bed. Grabbing a blanket, he made his way back over to her, only to stop and think for a moment.

“It was quite cold out, and the pools heater wasn’t on, not to mention she was unconscious... Her body probably wasn’t ready for the sudden temperature change... So, I have to strip her down to her first layer of clothes...” Ryan pinched the tip of his nose and sighed “This just got very awkward, very fast...”

Carefully and cautiously, Ryan began to undo the buttons to Rarity’s blouse.

“Why this woman had to get dressed to go into the basement is beyond me...” He mumbled to himself

Upon reaching the last button, he paused for a moment, pondering. “I hope to God this woman has a bra on... I think I do anyway... Christ... I’m so torn...” Ryan swiftly slapped himself across his face. “Control yourself Ryan! Victoria could be freezing to death right now...” Ryan placed his hand on the still unconscious Rarity’s arm for a few seconds, before removing it.

“A little cold, but I’m not taking any chances. I don’t know if I should be enjoy-shut up hormones!”

Swiftly, he undid the last button and began to remove the blouse. Much to his relief, Rarity had a bra on. He continues to remove the blouse and, once that was done, took off her high heels, and finished off by unzipping her skirt and removing it.

Once that was done, he moved her underneath his duvet, making sure that she seemed comfortable. He then grabbed another blanket and draped it over her, folded her clothes up and brought them into the laundry room, and placed a towel on the end of the bed.

Ryan then sat down on his couch and began to read, keeping an eye of Rarity in case she woke up or needed some form of help.

It took a little over three hours for Ryan to notice slight movement in the bed as Rarity burrowed deeper into the duvet and the tell-tale signs of someone sleeping began to crop up. Satisfied he had done his part, he looked at the time.

“Six in the morning... no point sleeping now... guess I’ll get started on breakfast.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So... You were about to give her mouth-to-mouth... And she coughed water into your face... Causing you to jump backwards into the pool?” Doug asked raising an eyebrow.

“Yeeees?” Ryan answered somewhat reluctantly. “In fact, I should go check on her. Food’s in the oven.”

“Uh... No comment...” He sighed and turned back to the oven. He then realized he was thirsty, and turned back to the fridge to get some Sunny D. He stopped when he saw Pinkie standing next to him with a glass already full.“Yay! Pinkie is best pony!”

Camron spat out his drink all over Doug at hearing this. “Pinkie...? As in Pinkie Pie?”

Doug breathed in heavily, and began talking,“Yeah! Oh, right! You weren’t there... Well you were there, but you were out cold thanks to Ben. Afterwards, Ben suspected them, then we found out Isaac took a piece of hair from Pinkie to find out if it was real, and turns out... It was! And then the girls admitted that they were ponies! Then... I sorta don’t remember much afterwards... I think I fainted after figuring Penny was actually Pinkie... My head still sorta hurts...” he finished, panting a bit after talking for so long without a pause.

Camron and Derpy just stood there staring at him for a few minutes. Finally, Camron just shook his head out of his daze and said, “So... The girls are actually ponies?” Doug just nodded furiously.

Camron gawked at him for a few seconds before sighing, “Doug... What did I tell you about getting into my stash again?”

Doug just stood still, staring at him for a moment, then replied, “Dude... I haven’t gone near that shit for over a month, you kno-”

“HI CAMRON!” Pinkie seemingly appeared out no where from above Camron’s line of sight, shouting at his face. This surprise caused him to jump backwards, falling out of his chair onto his rear-end.

Camron just sat there for a few seconds, before laughing to himself. “Yup... That’s definitely Pinkie.” He got up and began resetting the chair when he froze. ’If Pinkie is real... Then Debby is...’ Camron thought to himself, and he looked up to see Ditzy giggling with her eyes crossed. “So... You really are Ditzy...?” He said, pointing a shaky finger towards her. She nodded in response, still keeping a smile.

His eyes began to feel wet, and he soon found himself crying in joy. His favorite pony was now real, and right in front of him, smiling at him. He grabbed Ditzy and hugged her tightly, as if he never wanted to let go.

A moment later, he reluctantly broke the hug, well-knowing of how awkward it might have become since it past the limit of the “two mississippi” friendly hug. Nothing more was said as they sat back down at the table next to each other, eagerly awaiting the food.

Next to the table were Kasper, Vinyl, and Rainbow. They all just sat down, not really saying much.

“Oh, hey guys. Nice to see you’re all awake!” Doug greeted them all with a smile and a goofy wave.

“Need. Coffee.” Kasper’s face was devoid of any emotion. Vinyl and Rainbow looked similar. The three were not morning people.

“Oh. Uh... I guess I could try making you some-”

Doug was cut off by Pinkie practically materializing out of thin air with three cups of coffee on a plate in her hands. “Here ya go!”

All three of them grabbed their coffee almost simultaneously, and chugged it down, perking up instantly.

“That. That was exactly what I needed.” Kasper sat down in his chair, Vinyl sitting next to him.

“Yeah, I’m not really a morning person.” Vinyl shrugged. “I’m usually out all night. Coffee is my best friend. Ever.”

“Yeah, I usually sleep all day, but then I can’t really sleep at night...” Rainbow rubbed the back of her head, chuckling awkwardly. “Hey, where’s everyone else?”

“Ryan went to check on Rarity,” Doug pointed to the doorway, “and everyone else is asleep or something.”

“Wait, did you say ‘Rarity?’” Kasper cocked his eyebrow, a small grin tugging at the corner of his lips.

Doug blinked, and then realized Kasper didn’t know either. “Oh, yeah, turns out that the girls are all actually ponies. We found out last night.”

Kasper smiled triumphantly, and pushed his glasses up his nose. “I knew it. They all acted like the ponies we all know and love. So ‘Torrie or should I say ‘Vinyl Scratch?’”

“Was I really that obvious?”

“Yes. You were.”

Suddenly, loud footsteps were heard coming down the stairs. At first everyone thought it was Ryan stomping down the stairs, but then, Kyle walked into the kitchen. Nobody dared say a word. He gave a small nod to Doug and Kasper, but outright ignored the girls.

“Uh... Kyle?”

“Yeah, Doug?”

“Are you...” Doug bit his lip, looking for the right words. “Well, are you OK?”

“Oh yeah. I’m perfectly fine. No fictional creatures here or anything. I’m perfectly fine!” Kyle let out a dry laugh, and looked at the oven. “Huh. Breakfast ain’t ready yet.” He reached into a cabinet and grabbed a box of pop-tarts. “Looks like I’m eating these then.”

Kyle walked back towards the doorway, but Rainbow stepped in his way, forcing him to stop.

“Hold it, buster. You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what your problem is!”

Kyle frowned, put the pop-tarts on the counter next to him, and shoved Rainbow out of the way, making her fall to the floor. He picked the box back up, and went back up to his room, leaving everyone in shocked silence.

“... Um...” Doug let out, barely being able to speak.

“OK, somebody better tell me what his problem is, right now. I’m sick of him being such a jerk.” Rainbow stood up, and brushed herself off, an angry flame burning behind her eyes.

“Well...” Doug fidgeted in his seat uncomfortably. “I really don’t know if he’d want me to tell you...”

“Ah, it’s fine, he won’t know if anybody tells!” Rainbow hopped into her seat. “I’m all ears.”

“Well...” Doug rubbed the back of his head, not knowing how to word this. “Kyle had a friend. A really close friend. Like, a girlfriend. She’s... Gone now. And every time he gets really mad, or really upset in general, he starts thinking about her and gets really depressed.”

“Whaddya mean? Did she move away?” Rainbow tilted her head, her curiosity rising.

“She... Died.” Doug’s expression darkened as Rainbow gasped in surprise.

“Oh... I- I had no idea, oh man I’m sorry for making you say that, I just- Darn it...” She slapped herself on the forehead. “I... I don’t know what to do now. I feel bad for being so mad at him.”

As if on cue, Ben burst into the room, his eyes glazed over, his blood/alcohol levels triple the limit one man should be able to take. “WAZZAP BITCHES? WHERE THE FUCK IS THE FUCKING FOOD?”

He pulled a chair out for himself and plopped down on it. “WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL OF YOU FUCKERS? YOUR FACES ARE ALL SHIT AND FUCKIN’... FUCKIN’... GAH!”

He grabbed onto the end of the table and flipped it over in frustration.

“That...” Kasper blinked, his mind still trying to wrap around what just happened. “Was an unexpected change of pace and completely unnecessary. Good morning Ben.”

“AW SHADDAP YOU STUPID DANE. I WANT MORE OF YOUR CHEAP ASS BEER. YOU GOT ANY CHEAP ASS DANISH BEER?”

Vinyl took off her glasses and glared at Kasper. “You had cheap beer to give away and you didn’t tell me?!”

“HE’S DANISH. DANISH PEOPLE ALWAYS HAVE ALCOHOL. ALL THE TIME.”

Kasper shrugged. “I can’t argue with that logic. Sadly.”

Vinyl crossed her arms, and looked away from Kasper in mock-disgust. “We can’t be friends anymore. You didn’t share your booze.”

“But- But-”

“STOP TALKING ABOUT BUTTS FAG. I’LL SHARE MY FUCKING BOOZE WITH THE FUCKIN’ DJ IF SHE IS GETTING SO MUCH OF A HARD DICK ABOUT IT. FUCK.”

“Oh God, he’s drunk again...” Doug put his head down on the table, and let out a frustrated moan. “This morning keeps getting better and better...”

“Oh, turn that frownie-wownie upside-downie, Douggie-wuggie!” Pinkie again materialized out of thin air to cheer Doug up.

“OK. That does make me feel better.” Doug raised his head, a smile on his face now.

“Who’s making all that noise...?” Isaac walked into the kitchen with Twilight, the two looking like they’d just woken up...which they had.

“I’m used to not getting much sleep, but this is...” Twilight yawned, and rubbed her eyes. “This is ridiculous.”

“Hey, don’t blame us, blame Ben.” Kasper pointed to the drunken wall of meat. “He’s shitfaced.”

Isaac facepalmed. “Oh no... Not again.”

“And on top of that, Kyle came down and kinda... Pushed me down. I got in his way.” Rainbow shrank in her seat a little bit, small bits of guilt nipping away at her inside.

Isaac rubbed his face, and sat down at the table. “Alright... We’ll worry about him later. For now... Where’s Ryan? I’m starving.”

“NO FUCKING CLUE. I THINK HE’S BONING RARITY.”

Doug’s eye twitched slightly. “He’s checking on Rarity. She fainted last night, so he helped her to bed.”

“HE STRIPPED HER NAKED AND FONDLED HER TA-TAS. THAT’S WHAT CHECKING UP IS IN RYAN’S MIND. BONING.”

Doug sighed, “Ben, if you weren’t so goddamn strong and so goddamn drunk, I would bitch slap you.”

“HAHAHA, I’M STRONG AND DRUNK AND YOU CAN’T DO SHIT ABOUT IT! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

“Isaac, I believe this is your specialty. Can you fix him?” Kasper put his head into his hands.

“ISAAC, YOU DO THAT AND I WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOUR PEACE AND QUIET WILL BE BROKEN BEYOND HUMAN COMPREHENSION. LIKE RYAN BONING RARITY.”

Isaac walked to the refrigerator, and pulled out a bottle of Kasper’s beer. He held it in front of Ben’s face, shaking it a bit. “Benny want a drink?” Ben nodded furiously. Isaac led him to the basement and threw the bottle downstairs, which resulted in Ben trying to follow, only to trip up and tumble all the way down. Isaac slammed the door shut, and locked it. “That should leave him disoriented. Besides, his gym is down there... Along with his workout booze. Oh well.”

“ISSAC, YOU CLEVER SON OF A BITCH. DON’T EAT MY FOOD OR I WILL RIP THIS DOOR OFF AND USE IT AS A FOOD PLATTER.”

“Love you too, Ben!”

Everyone clapped as Isaac walked back into the kitchen He bowed. “Thank you, thank you.”

“OK. Now that that’s taken care of... We need to get our food.” Vinyl hopped out of her seat. “I’ll go get Ryan.”

“Wait, do you even know where it is?” Kasper stood up along with her.

“... No I don’t! Show me the way, alcohol-hogger.”

“...that’s it, I’m coming up with a nickname for you later...”

Kasper led her to Ryan’s room, and they both opened to door to see a surprising sight. Ryan was laying on his bed, Rarity cuddling him like a teddy bear.

“Uh... Ryan?” Kasper stumbled to find what to say next. “What’s going on here?”

“Don’t. Ruin. This. For me.” Ryan hissed at them, but Rarity stirred in her sleep.

“Hmm... Sweetie Belle... That’s not how an oven works...” Her eyes snapped open, and she shot up from her laying position. “Goodness! That... I hate that dream... Wait...” She looked to where she’d been laying, then to Ryan... Then back to where she’d been laying, and then back to Ryan... “Was I...?”

“Yes.” Ryan slowly nodded. “Yes you were.”

“I’m... Terribly sorry.”

An awkward silence followed for a few minutes, until it was broken by Vinyl clapping her hands together. “OK! Awkward moment over! Ryan, get your butt downstairs. We’re hungry.”

“You could just take the food out of the oven, you know.”

Vinyl shook her head. “Nope! Too lazy! Downstairs. Now.”

Ryan slowly got out of bed, and wiped his face with his hands. “Do you not know how to operate an oven?”

Vinyl shook her head again. “Nope! I live off of takeout and instant noodles.”

Ryan stared at her for a second. “You remind me of... Well, most of the others living here.”

Kasper shrugged. “But I thought you loved having the mom-role in the house Ryan.”

Ryan shot a glare at Kasper. “In that case, I’m allowed to smack you...”

“Yeah yeah yeah. NOW THEN! Downstairs to the kitchen!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in the kitchen, Ryan hadn’t gotten the food out yet.

“But I’m DYING of hunger!” Vinyl put the back of her hand on her head. “Lights... Fading... Need... Breakfast...”

Ryan shook his head. “Not until everyone else is at the table. Besides, It’s not done yet.”

“UGH! You and your politeness are gonna starve me to death!” Vinyl put her elbows on the table, and her chin on her hands.

“I for one think it’s sweet that he’s waiting for everyone before he serves the food.” Rarity nodded in approval.

“Sweet or not, I’m hungry...” Vinyl grumbled under her breath.

A few minutes went by without any conversation, until Marcus and Fluttershy walked in. Marcus looked like he’d just been hit by a train, but Fluttershy looked perfectly fine.

“Mornin’ everyone.” Marcus scratched his side. “So, what’s on the menu?”

“Well, I’m making a traditional Irish breakfast.” Ryan smiled, thinking about how wonderful his native foods taste.

“Oh. OK then. I was kinda hoping for eggs or something, but...” Marcus trailed off, decided to just drop it, and sit down.

“Well, I don’t really mind. I’m fine with whatever you’re making, Ryan.” Fluttershy smiled to him, but then looked back to Marcus fearfully. “Uh, I mean, if that’s OK...”

“Nah, it’s cool. Better than nothing.” Marcus shrugged. “Hey, where’s Ben, anyways? I need to get him to take his medicine-”

A loud crash was heard from the basement. “REMEMBER WHAT I SAID? FUCKING FOOD.” Ben was back in the kitchen in seconds. “BEN HUNGRY. BEN WANT FOOD. NOW MOTHERFUCKER, NOW.”

Twilight simply stared at Ben in shock. “How did he break that door down...? Wasn’t that made of mahogany?”

Isaac rubbed his eyes, stress starting to nip at his mind. “You try telling him that. Ben looks strong, but he’s a lot stronger than he looks.”

“THAT’S RIGHT. I’M LOOKER THAN I STRONG. OR... WAIT... FUCK.”

Fluttershy let out a small “meep,” and shrank in her seat a bit. Marcus slapped himself on the forehead, and stood up. “OK Ben. Medicine time. Now.”

“NO, FUCK YOU. I DON’T NEED NO STINKIN’ PILLS. I’M PERFECTLY DRUNK- I MEAN- FINE. SAME THING, REALLY!”

“I’m not giving you any more of my booze, Ben.” Kasper shook his head. “Not until you learn to drink responsibly... Like me... You know what? Forget I ever said anything.”

“I DON’T NEED NONE OF YOUR STINKING DANISH BEER. I GOT MY OWN BOOZE.”

Ben sat down, smiled like an idiot, and then slammed his face down on the table. He started snoring seconds afterwards.

“Ladies and gentlemen, Ben.” Doug mocked an announcer’s voice. “Hey, wait a second, where’re Coal and Applejack?”

“Coal is probably at work, and Applejack is probably still asleep.” Ryan shrugged. “They had a pretty late night, what with the big reveal and all that.”

“Makes sense. I would be tired, but I’m used to not sleeping.” Kasper yawned, and rubbed his eyes. “Even though it does have its side-effects...”

“I still feel really tired...” Rainbow let out a loud yawn, put her elbow on the table, and leaned on her hand. “I don’t think I got enough sleep at all.”

Vinyl took off her glasses, and stared at Rainbow. “How?! Don’t you sleep all day?”

“How can I when you blaze your wubs all over town?!”

“... Shut up.”

Applejack walked into the kitchen, and stretched out her back. “Mornin’ everyone. What’s on the menu?”

Doug shrugged. “Something Irish. Ehm... That’s where Ryan is from.”

“Sé!” Ryan said, overhearing the conversation. “Is é mo bhaile bunaidh na hÉireann, ach bhog mé anseo ceithre bliana tar éis bhuail mé na buachaillí ar an idirlíon.”

Silence filled the room while everyone, humans and ponies alike, stared at Ryan. Doug muttered, “How rude...”

“I spoke in Irish ag-” He was quickly interrupted by Pinkie.

“Oh my gosh! Is é sin mar sin iontach! Tá cónaí orm i Ponyville!”

More silence, this time with jaws on the floor. “Pinkie... How do you know Irish...?” Doug attempted to close his mouth, but he was too shocked.

“På samme måde jeg lærte at tale dansk!” She looked at Kasper, who now had wide eyes. “Silly fillies!”

“WHAT THE HELL IS EVERYONE SAYING?!” Marcus shouted after jumping up from his chair, tearing at his hair in frustration. “ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!”

“Oi! None of that language, mister! Or no breakfast for you...” Ryan deadpanned. This shut Marcus up, and he slowly sat down, mumbling incoherently.

“Okay! We got sausages, eggs, both plain and scrambled, bacon, black and white pudding, cereal, milk, apples, bananas, for those crazy people, toast, omelettes, french toast, pancakes, waffles, syrup, milk, OJ, AJ, both the beverage and in person... Er pony... uh whatever, salad, assorted fruits and vegetables, fried potatos, rice, specially for Marcus, oatmeal, and Pinkie don’t say anything,” Pinkie quickly lowered her hand and closed her mouth. “We’ve got a liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea, something that’s supposed to wake you up in the morning, the natives call it ‘Coffee’, and finally, what you’ve all been waiting for...

Banana Bread~

Ryan stopped his rant and looked back at Doug, Kasper, Camron, Issac and Marcus, all waving their arms in the air, making a quiet choir sound.

“Damn that’s hard to say...” Ryan mumbled. “And nice touch with the Heavenly Choir guys, really emphasized the greatness of Banana Bread.”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP.” Ben lifted his head up. “I’M SLEEPING. ASSHOLES.” He then slumped it down back onto the table.

“Right well, ladies first I suppose.” Ryan proceeded to move over to the oven, about to take the plates out, before stopping after he had remembered something.

“I just remembered something!”

"That this plot is horrible?" Ben mumbled in his sleep.

Ryan stood up, and took the objects off of the frying pan atop the burners.

“I just sorta winged it, you know?” He said showing the girls the objects, at which their eyes widened in surprise.

“Hay. Fries. Seems kinda simple really. Just took some hay, bundled it together and fried it. Viola! Try some, and see what it’s like.” Handing one to each of them.

“And another thing.” He said, opening up and reaching into the fridge, pulling out a covered plate, and setting it down on the counter.

“I give you...” He pulled off the cover, revealing its contents. “Daisy sandwiches! Now, I don’t know if you can eat this, what with your human form, but i thought I’d give it a shot anyway, you know, for shits and giggles.”

Rarity’s eyes lit up at the familiar sight. “Oh! Darling, this looks simply wonderful! How long have you been such a brilliant cook?”

Ryan blushed a little, and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Well, I’ve been cooking ever since-”

“HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP. AND SERVE. FUCKING. BREAKFAST.”

Both Ryan and Rarity jumped from this outburst from Ben, who got up from his seat and stumbled over to the stovetop.

“I’M FUCKING HUNGRY. GOD. STOP TALKING LIKE SOME KIND OF FOUR MOTHERFUCKING STAR GORDON RAMSEY RESTAURANT AND GIVE US SOME FUCKING FOOD.”

If Kyle were there, he’d have agreed in full. Ryan simply just backed off and put down his kitchenware. “Fuck it. Go ahead.”

Rainbow clasped her hands together. “Finally! I thought that he’d never shut up! I’m starving!”

Doug just shut up, not wanting to get in the middle of this. “BY GOD, THE FOOD. IT SHALL BE GLORIOUS. HAND IT TO ME!” Or not.

“Nope. You all shout at me? Get it yourself.” Ryan just got his own plate of food and slumped down into his chair.

Ben took a him-sized plate and put a mountain of food on top of it. The table rumbled when he slammed it down. “BEN HAVE NUMMIES. BEN HAPPY.”

“Wait.” AJ scanned the table, and noticed that someone, or rather, somepony, was still missing. “Where’s Lyra?”

“Here...” Lyra shambled into the kitchen, looking absolutely terrible. Her hair was frazzled, she had bags under her eyes, and she looked like she could barely stand. “What did I do to myself...?”

“I’m going to assume Ben showed you his favorite part of his room?” Isaac leaned down on the table, sure that he was right.

“Yeah... I think I have the worst hangover known to mankind...”

“HI LYRA. LIKE THE BOOZE?”

Lyra flinched at the volume of Ben’s voice, but then realized he’d referred to her by her real name. “Wait, you mean...”

“Yeah yeah yeah, they know we’re ponies. Big deal.” Rainbow shrugged, and went back to tearing away at her food.

Lyra groaned, and sat down without another word.

“So! What’re we all gonna do today?” Pinkie tried to strike the conversation back up.

Doug decided to pipe up, “Well. Most of us have work today. And those of us who don’t usually go out applying for jobs. I’m still waiting for a reply from mine though.” He paused to finish chewing on his food. “So, I’m free for today. How’s about we all hang out at the mall? Marcus has to work there later on anyways.”

“But, we were just at the mall yesterday. Is there nothing else to do in this town?” Rarity asked.

“How’s about a picnic at the park?” Pinkie suggested with a grin on her face.

“Sure! That sounds great! I’d like to see more of this world, anyhow.” Twilight agreed.

Fluttershy nodded with a small smile on her face. “That sounds nice.”

Rainbow had just finished her daisy sandwich by then, and brought up the issue about Kyle. “Should I go ask Kyle? We need to do something to cheer him up.”

“Yeah... Come to think of it. That would probably be a good idea.” Ryan paused for a moment. “Be careful, though. If he’s still in a very pissy mood, I’d suggest trying later. We’re leaving in maybe an hour or so, so you have time.”

“Yeah... I’ll go ahead and check on him now. Wish me luck.” She said with a nervous chuckle.

Rainbow stood up from the table, and walked back upstairs towards Kyle’s room. Once she reached his door, she hesitantly knocked. She held the third knock back in fear of getting shouted at and told to go away. But, what happened next hit her by surprise.

A ragged voice came from the other side. “Come in... The door’s unlocked.”

She opened the door slowly to see Kyle sitting on the edge of his bed, looking very tired. Not just sleepy tired, but tired of life. His eyes just emitted sadness and pain. She couldn’t help but pity him.

“Are you... OK?” She struggled to think of what to say, hoping she wouldn’t set him off.

“No...” He rubbed his bloodshot eyes of any leftover tears. “No, I am not OK. Not at all...”

“Doug... Told me what happened.” She braced herself for the impending rage.

“He did...? I guess it’s for the better, really.” He let out a dry chuckle. “Then you know why I’m so... Fucked up.”

“Sorta... He didn’t really get to tell me who she was, or anything. Do you wanna...” Rainbow rubbed the back of her head, not sure if she wanted to continue. “I dunno, talk about it?”

“... I think I should. Sit down.” He patted the spot on the bed next to him. Rainbow sat down. “Well, for starters: Her name. Rose Velicity Shannon. Love of my life. We were only sixteen, yes. All sorts of people told me ‘it’s just young love’ and that it would die out after High School. I told those people to piss off, of course. We really did love each other, and to anyone else, it was obvious. I’d always end up with a smile on my face when I looked into her deep blue eyes...”

He stared off into space, and a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, before he shook his head, that dark, defeated look returning.

“But that’s all in the past now... She had a really weak constitution. She used to get sick a lot, but I’d always be there for her. She always got better. But... One day...”

Tears started welling up in his eyes, the pain of the memory building on him.

“One day, she got sick again, and it was way worse than any other time. She had a constant fever, and she was as pale as a ghost. I stood by her, and that’s all I did. I didn’t do anything to help her... Nothing. I just sat there, watching her slowly die. This went on for a week. I swear, I never left that hospital. The nurses even started bringing me food from the vending machines. But... That fateful day. She looked worse than usual. It went on as normal, us chatting about this and that into the evening. Then. she asked me to come in close, and gave me one last kiss, and said ‘I love you.’ Then...”

He paused, and started shaking, tears beginning to flow. He buried his face in his hands, letting out small screams. He eventually let go, and hugged Rainbow, crying into her shoulder. She hugged him back, hoping to give him some comfort.

“It’s n-not fair...” Kyle took a deep, wavering breath. “Why couldn’t i-it have b-been me...?”

“It’s OK... Hey, she would have wanted you to live, right?”

Kyle let go of her, and wiped his eyes and nose. Tears kept coming, but the worst of it was done. “You’re right... I just... I want her back. So badly. She was what made me, me.”

“I... Guess so...” Rainbow rubbed her shoulder awkwardly. She’d never really been in a relationship.

“You’ve never been in love, have you Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow blinked before dropping her jaw. “Did you just...?”

“Use your real name? Yeah... I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, it’s just... Being a lawyer makes you want to be logical a lot, and magical talking ponies? Pretty illogical. The fact that your existence, which should be impossible, was proven otherwise right in front of me sorta made me... Snap. I got really mad, and when I get mad, my mind makes me think of... Her. And the combo of all that anger and depression made me act like I was acting. I’m sorry for being such an asshole...”

“No, it’s cool. Really, it was my fault for just getting all mad at you without even trying to find out why you were acting like that.”

Kyle and Rainbow stared at each other for a few minutes, before bursting out into laughter at how ridiculous they’d been acting.

“So...” Rainbow stuck her fist out. “Friends?”

Kyle returned the brofist. “Friends.”

My Little Person

A few young men got together and sat down at a deserted table at Starbucks. They had purchased their respective drinks and were sitting there for a few minutes, playing a game of cards or finishing up any last text messages they had to send to friends, co-workers, or bosses.

These men were the shining example of friends sticking together from teenagers to young adults. Although, one or two of them were a bit older than the rest.

Each of these men had their own story on how their lives were changed by each other. Some had travelled across the ocean to live together, while others simply flew across the continent... but that’s not the point we’re getting to. These men were bored. Every day passed by like a blur. It was like watching sand slowly fill up a cup, but immediately being dumped into a bin once it was full. Rinse and repeat. They needed something new, something to recolor the childish innovation they once had.

One of them finished checking his email on his phone, and pocketed it. “So, what’s up guys?” A few voices cracked as they started, and they simultaneously answered, “The usual, Camron.”

Camron responded with a grunt, then kicked his legs up onto the table. “We’ve seriously gotta plan something exciting! Something new! I swear, every time I get out of bed, everything seems to get grayer and grayer.”

A scrawny voice responded, “Well, what do you expect? We’ve got jobs now. I go to college.” A few of them added on with a ‘mhm’ at the mention of college.

“I hardly have time to spend when I’m passing between intense research and my other hobbies. My PhD isn’t going to earn itself,” Isaac said with a tired expression, rubbing his temples.

“Yeah Cam’, the majority of us didn’t learn how to become millionaires at the age of fifteen,” Ryan quipped, taking a sip of Pepsi and shuffling his cards to start another game of solitaire.

Coal lazily looked over the top of the article he was reading at the time, slightly raising an eyebrow at the comment that Ryan had just made. He just let out a small huff and turned the page.

A large man sitting across from Coal leaned back and tucked his hands behind his head. He said, “You know Coal, if you just participated sometimes in the conversations we have, people wouldn’t think you were such a stick-in-the-mud.”

Coal set his paper in his lap, and took a drink of his coffee. “If I had anything to say, I would.”

Ben chuckled and kept his posture of nonchalance. He said, “So you’re just telling me you’re an inanimate stick-in-the-mud? Or are you saying you just can’t talk about anything with that miasma of boring that seems to follow you around?”

Coal shrugged and immediately went back to reading his paper, looking uninterested.

“Aw, lay off him. He’s actually being productive in our down time. A skill that not all of us seem to possess,” Isaac chided, tilting his head toward Doug.

“Oi! I can be productive...most of the time...when I’m not gaming...” Doug retaliated, but realizing his attempt was feeble, he put on the best troll face he could manage.

After a few laughs, everyone turned their attention back towards Camron, who appeared to be looking around for something.

“Well Cam’, what do you think we should do to make our lives a little more interesting?” Isaac asked. “Enlighten us.”

Benjamin, who was sitting across from Coal, leaned back even further on his chair, making it squeak and creak in protest.

“Perhaps you guys should get girlfriends. That’d be a change,” Benjamin stated in a bored voice.

“Yeah, maybe for you and ‘Mr. Sweet Talker’ over there, it’s easy. The rest of us aren’t as skilled in the subject of getting a girlfriend, nor asking one out,” Doug said in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Well...sit back and watch, because I’m only going to show you once and only once.” Camron pointed to a young, blonde woman who appeared to be nineteen or so, who was waiting in line for her cup of coffee. “You see that babe? You gotta go out there and reach out to her...not sit around and expect her to come to you! Watch and learn.” He pushed his chair in and began to walk towards the woman. The group muffled their chuckles, as they were waiting to see what mischief their friend was going to cause.

Camron casually strolled up to the lady and waited alongside her. He occasionally checked his watch, pretending to be preoccupied with something. After a few moments, an audible ‘ding’ was heard and a drink was placed on the counter. The woman began to reach for it, but Camron swiftly picked it up and drank from it. The woman turned to him, coughed softly, and tapped his shoulder.

“Yes?” replied Camron, the drink still in his hand.

“I believe that you’ve taken my drink, mistaking it as yours,” she innocently pointed out.

“Oh!” Camron looked down at the side of the cup and pretended he took the wrong drink. “I’m terribly sorry. I am usually more careful than this.”

All of a sudden, a deep, gruff voice was heard from behind him. “Hey babe, this guy messing with you?”

Camron muttered under his voice, “Aw, cabbage patch kids.” He spun around and says, “Ah, um, hello there...sir. You see, I accidentally-”

“Shut the hell up, punk, and get the hell out of the store before I get tired of your face.” Several chairs screech and a group of men come to Camron’s aid.

“Oi, who the hell are you to talk to Camron like that?” The owner of the voice calmly cracks a few knuckles, then cracks his neck as well. A large, buff guy, towering over the other man with a height of roughly 6’10. Benjamin, an ex-boxer.

“I’m not a fighter, but I’m sure I wouldn’t have many issues teaching you a lesson with my friends here,” announced Doug, matter-of-factly. Isaac nodded in agreement while cleaning his nails with the butterfly knife that seemingly materialized in his hands.

“Hey! You! Big lug! I can sue you right now if I wanted, and probably pin a murder on your ass.” Kyle pulled out his pen and notepad, a passionate fire burning in his eyes, ready to Lawyer the man to no end.

“Sir, I’m gonna have to escort you out of the mall if you plan on making a scene.” A radio switched on and the faint crackle of static hummed in the background. Marcus seemed quite badass at that moment.

Camron looked up and smirked, “Looks like you’re shit outta luck. It’d be best if you just walk out right now. Take the girl with you too.” Camron then gave the girl a ten, and mouthed, ‘sorry for the whole mess,’ with a wink. She nodded solemnly and they turned to leave. The gang held their breath as the pair exited through the door. They released their breaths, and patted each other on the back once the couple disappeared from sight.

“That...that was a close one.”

“I would’ve dropped him right there anyway, if he wanted to try anything. He would been out like a light before he even noticed it!”

“Yeah, yeah man. Sure.”

“Hey Kasper, why didn’t you try to help out?” Isaac raised an eyebrow toward his still sitting friend.

“Hm?” Kasper pulled out an earbud. “Did something happen?”

The group bursted out laughing and shaking their heads, as the camera panned out and everything faded to black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Next week on My Little Person, find out more about Kyle’s dark psyche! 11PM on The Stable!”

Vinyl levitated the remote with her magic and switched off the television, before turning back to the rest of the ponies in the room. “Heeheehee! It’s always something with Kasper, isn’t it?” She said cheerfully.

“Hehe. Y’all shoulda seen his face when Cam heard that there voice! I was ‘bout ta’ spit my drink all over th’ place. That Camron feller sure knows how ta’ get himself in a heck of a ruckus,” replied Applejack, chuckling softly.

“I think Benjamin is quite dashing. I admire how he immediately stood up for Camron, although, the bones clicking does tend to be a little off-putting...” stated Rarity, looking a bit uneasy.

“Yeah right, Rarity. Off-putting? More like awesome!” Lyra had that same passionate, albeit a little creepy, smile.

Ditzy had a goofy grin on her face, one of her eyes looking off to the other side of the room. “Wish I had some of those muffins in the background...”

“I think that Kyle’s pretty cool for standing up to that guy, even if he is so scrawny. He’s got guts, that’s for sure.” Rainbow Dash had a slightly dreamy look on her face, as if she were fantasizing or something of the sort.

A small, relieved smile flitted across Fluttershy’s face. “Um, I’m just glad no one was hurt.”

“Wowwie! I’m glad that big meanie was kicked out, he almost ruined the fun!” Pinkie Pie squee’d in joy as she was bouncing off the walls. A common occurrence for this group of friends to this day.

“So...” Twilight started, standing up and cracking the joints in her legs. “I’ve got something to show you girls. Come here.” She walked over to her saddlebags, everypony else in tow. “I’ve been flipping through some old spellbooks, and I found a spell that can send us into different fictional settings in the form of a dream.”

Vinyl tilted her head in confusion. “So...what? Do you wanna try it or something?”

“Exactly. Now, where do you think I would send us?” Twilight had an eager smile on her face, but Vinyl just cocked her eyebrow.

Vinyl started scratching her chin with her hoof. “Uh...A Daring Do book?” Rainbow Dash’s eyes glimmered for a split second. Twilight facehoofed.

“No...think, we’re HuMares. Fans of My Little Person, and I can send us into a fictional world...” Twilight leaned her head in a bit, expecting Vinyl to get it.

“Uh...” Vinyl shrugged. “I’m drawing a blank. Tell me.”

“Ugh...” Twilight swung her head in exasperation. “I’m talking about Earth, Vinyl. I can put us all in a dreamscape of Earth!”

“Oh! Why didn’t ya say so Twi?” Vinyl hoofpumped and exclaimed, “That would be totally radical!”

“Yeah, Twi! Definitely one of your cooler spells! If this turns out as awesome as it seems, this will go down in my record books as twenty percent cooler than the rest.” Rainbow Dash’s smile was so wide, it could rival even Pinkie’s.

“Ohmygosh! That would be super awesome! We could meet them and have really long parties with them all night long! I could bring my cupcakes and brownies and fudge, and-” Pinkie let out a sudden gasp. “Oh no! I don’t know if they like Chimmi Cherry, or Cherry Changa! Chimmi Cherry, Cherry Changa, Chimmi Cherry, Cherry Changa, Chimmi Cherry-” Pinkie’s rambling was stopped when Applejack shoved her hoof in her mouth.

“Now now, Pinkie, let’s git a hold o’ ourselves, Ah’m sure they’ll like both of those foods...” Applejack said, laughing good-naturedly. She switched back to Twilight and said in a more serious tone, “So, when do we head out?”

Lyra’s crazy grin grew, and she stepped up to Twilight, their faces mere inches away. “Can we go now?!” She squealed loudly and then gasped in revelation, “Wait...I should go get my shirt with Ryan doing the trollface!”

Twilight stopped her in her tracks with her magic. “Easy there, Human-lover. Forget about the shirt, let’s focus on the spell. We can go now if you want. I mean, it’s not that hard to cast this spell. I’ve been practicing it a while.”

Spike popped his head into the doorway. “On ME!”

“The only problem,” she continued, “is that I don’t know how long we’ll be in our ‘dream’, or even if we’ll wake up by ourselves. I think it’s best we tell somepony else, just to be safe.”

“Now hold on a second,” Lyra held up a hoof, “when we enter this ‘dreamscape,’ will we still be ponies? I think it’d be pretty cool if we could go there as humans!”

Rarity’s eyes gleamed, “I’d love the chance to design some new ensembles for us all, and having different bodies would certainly be a challenge worthy of a lady.”

“Now, before we go divin’ on into our minds, Ah agree with Twi. We best tell somepony about this, else we can’t get out.” Said Applejack

“I’ll do it!” Spike said as he came in from the kitchen.

“Really Spike? You don’t want to go as well?”

“Twilight, you know I’m not into My Little Person...” Spike said with a deadpan expression.

“Well, why ARE you here Spike?” Asked Rarity.

“Yeah, why’d you tag along to Vi’s house when you don’t like the show?” Rainbow Dash added, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Well, uh, you see...” Spike looked at Rarity and blushed deeply, before running off to the kitchen.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Ditzy asked. “He came to make those muffins for us!” She pointed to the now empty tray that once contained various snacks for the mares.

Vinyl let her glasses slide down and stared at the tray covered in crumbs. “...We had snacks!?” She exclaimed. ”Life! Y U SO CRUEL!?” She threw her hooves into the air, mimicking Doug.

A few giggles were heard from the MLP-quote, before Twilight began speaking. “Well, seeing as we have somepo- somedragon to look after us, we should be ready to go. Firstly though, we need to think of human names for ourselves. Even though it seems like a dream for us, to them it’s reality and our appearance could affect the show somehow.”

“Could we base our personas off of some of the background people?” Rarity suggested, raising an eyebrow.

“Ah don’t really want tah change how ah act. How ‘bout we just change our names? Don’t see why we’d have tah change our whole per-so-nality,” Applejack countered.

Twilight jumped in the conversation, eyes twinkling. “Looks like we’re settled! I have all the preparations to make at my library...Meet me there in thirty minutes, and get your belongings together.”

Rarity tossed her mane, and said, “I can whip up a few ensembles for us, I’m guessing that what we have on before we go on our little mind trip will be changed to humanized clothing, will it not Twilight?”

Twilight nodded, and said, “That sounds perfect! Even if it is a dream, I wouldn’t want to be naked. Remember girls, thirty minutes.”

Spike popped back in, “Aren’t you always naked?”

Twilight rolled her eyes, and said, “Spike, in that world, they don’t have scales or fur to hide their...reproductive organs. It seems it would most likely be a major faux pas in that world to go nude.”

Pinkie’s face suddenly became extremely serious. She said, “We wouldn’t want that ‘incident’ to spring up again, would we?”

Spike blushed profusely and dejectedly went back to work.

The group of mares filed out of Vinyl’s house with a laugh, each going to get ready, as Twilight began to prepare for the spell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rarity arrived at the Carousel Boutique, barely able to contain her excitement. She gathered up her supplies, and finished crafting the outfits for her friends. The pony with a purple mane turned to her left after she sewed the various outfits. She then wrote on a piece of paper, “Sweetie Belle, I’ll be staying at a friend’s place for the night. I trust you to take care of Opalescence while I’m gone. You know where her food is. Take care. - Rarity” She placed it on the kitchen table and rushed out of the door. The others raced to their houses to make sure that all of their loose ends are covered and cared for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fluttershy approached her house, and quietly opened her front door. Everything was dark, so she called out to Angel. “Angel bunny? Are you there, sweetie?” The light switched on to reveal a bedraggled looking white bunny, thumping his foot against the ground. Fluttershy softly smiled and brought him up for a brief cuddle.

“Mommy’s going away for the night Angel, so I need you to look after the house and the other animals. Will you do that for me?” The bunny rolled his eyes, not surprised she was leaving. Again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pinkie bounced home in record time, her excitement fueling her indefatigable reserves even further. She burst in the front door and hopped up the stairs four at a time. Reaching her room, Pinkie scooped up a mountain of various confections laying about and ate half of it in one bite. The rest, she piled into her saddlebags. How it all fit in there, nopony will ever know. “Mr. and Mrs. Cake! I’m going to go to Twilight’s house for a super special HuMare sleepover! See you tomorrow!~”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rainbow Dash flew home, and immediately flopped down on her couch, made of white, fluffy clouds. So soft...So comfortable...

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to catch a nap before I go...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lyra rushed home, a crazed look plastered on her face as she magiced the door open. Crashing through her dark house and bumping into random things as she made her way to the bedroom, rousing Bon-Bon from her sleep. She propped herself onto her hooves as Lyra went careening into their closet, coming out a crazed mess covered in MLP regalia. Lyra turned to Bon-Bon and blew her a kiss, saying,

“I am going to have a little MLP party with my HuMare friends. I know you aren’t exactly the biggest fan, so I won’t ask you to come.” Lyra flashed another maddened smile and went banging around in the dark house as Bon-Bon sighed dejectedly and turned off the light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Applejack ran along her orchard and noted that the apple blossoms were just beginning to bloom on the trees. Assuring herself that Big Mac could handle the job of maintaining the fields for one morning without her, AJ sped up to get to the farmhouse. Opening the door carefully, she soundlessly moved up the staircase and got her saddlebags, already filled with various apple products. Going back down to the kitchen, she left a crudely scribbled note telling Big Mac where she was and why she didn’t wake him up to tell him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vinyl started stuffing her favorite 45s into her saddlebags, along with a little player for them. She wanted to show the Humans some of her work. “I know how Kyle n’ Benjamin’re into old records and techno...and Kasper listens to music almost all the time...” She let out a small giggle, and got back to grabbing her music, a big, fangirl-y grin on her face the entire time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ditzy flew slowly and unsteadily towards her house, a large smile adorning her face as she made her way home. Landing with more than an ungainly thump, she staggered and opened the front door. Making her way to the kitchen, she put a large assortment of muffins inside of her saddlebags, popping one in her mouth and placing it on the kitchen table for Dinky. Trotting up the steps just past the living room, she nosed the door open to Dinky’s room.

Smiling, she woke her foal up with a gentle nuzzle and whispered into the still half-asleep child’s ear, “Dinky, my little muffin. Momma is going to go see her friends for the night. I left you a muffin for breakfast if I don’t make it back to the house in time. Remember, Momma loves you.”

Ditzy flew out of Dinky’s window lazily, drifting towards Twilight’s house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twilight clapped her hooves together with the glee only a fangirl could muster as her horn created a vortex of activity around her. Reagents, books, and chalk adorned and piled all around the floor and the walls. Spike was still sitting on Twilight’s back, the only place left where he could not get struck by a flying tome.

She explained to Spike after a long time of preparing the spell, “Now Spike, I’m going to leave this chalk rune here,” She pointed to a complex-looking rune situated near the edge of the sitting room inside of the library, “I want you to set it on fire if I make my horn flash three times in quick succession. That, or if we are asleep for more than the night, wake us up if the sun starts to rise, okay?” Spike nodded and ducked as a book whizzed by his head.

After Twilight put the finishing touches on the spell, the rest of the HuMare group showed up, Rarity toting an assortment of outfits, and the rest bringing their own things that they wanted to bring to the dreamscape. Rarity passed out the perfectly fitting outfits tailored to each pony’s coat and mane color. The mares gratefully accepted the exquisite clothes and donned them hastily. A few words were exchanged and before long, the fangirls found themselves ready to enter the dreamscape.

Twilight instructed the girls to lie down in a line and clear out their heads to get ready for the spell. Muttering out some incantations from a huge spellbook dominating the area in front of the stairwell, Twilight activated the spell, and took her position in the middle of the line of pony fanfillies. Closing her eyes and activating the beginning of the spell, Twilight felt like her body was being sucked into her navel.

Spike peeked around the corner, looking curiously at the line of ponies, and was suddenly blinded by a violent flash of white that went out to the corners of the room. It was then abruptly sucked back into the central point, and it disappeared with a deafening boom.

Home Sweet Home

“Did anybody bring their car?” asked Kyle as he called for the elevator.

“I know for a fact that Kasper brought his Chevy Sportvan. That could fit about ten of you guys,” stated Camron. “I have my Ducati sitting at the parking lot. I could take one other... that’s if one of you can handle it.”

“You’re on.” Exclaimed Rainbow Dash without another word.

“Alright then. That solves that. Now Kyle, did you bring your heap on wheels?"

“Nah. I thought it'd be good for my heart to take a walk. I didn't know we were gonna take nine strangers home with us." Kyle responded grumpily.

“Well, we’re down to six people not getting a ride home. We can call for a shuttle taxi.” Camron reached into his pocket, and pulled out a leather wallet. Looking inside, he stated, “I do have 480 bucks. I was expecting to buy some new gear before these girls showed up.”

“Shuttle taxi sounds good." Doug interjected.

Handing Doug $100, Camron said, “Alright then. You guys have fun. Cmon... Er...”

“Robin. Name's Robin.” Stated Rainbow.

“Alright, Robin. Let’s roll.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That was seriously AWESOME!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash.

“Yeah, things I love... fast cars and fast women.” Camron added with a wink.

Rainbow’s expression deadpanned. “Sorry, but you’re NOT my type.”

“Uh... Right.” Camron felt dejected, having been shot down. “Well... Here we are, home sweet home.” He threw the door open, revealing a large, open living area. It had a small section with nothing but a couch and large television that had multiple gaming systems plugged in, a spot with a bunch of beanbag chairs, and a plate of brownies.

“Oooooh!” Pinkie zipped over to the plate of the brownies and began to reach for one.

“No, dammit!” Camron ran and vaulted over the couch to grab it out of Pinkie’s hand. “You don’t want to eat these." He said with a very serious tone. “They’re MINE.” Picking up the brownies, he said, “I’m just gonna go put these in my room.”

“You girls want anything?” Asked Ryan anxiously. He walked through another set of doors leading into the kitchen, and opened the cupboard. Inside were all of the condo’s dry foods, ranging from chips to instant ramen.

“I could go for something super sweet!” exclaimed Pinkie. “Wait...” She pushed past Ryan and instantly started tearing apart the neatly placed ingredients, taking an invisible inventory in her head. “Well! You guys do have cocoa powder and flour... so I could make us a cake!”

“Err... you don’t ha-”

“Nope! There’s nothing I’d love more then to bake a cake for one of my friends.” She smiled sheepishly and began to pull out the ingredients, humming a tune which sounded slightly familiar to the men who were currently at home. Their musings were interrupted by the slam of the front door, and the slightly heavier than normal breaths accompanying them. Ben walked by the kitchen entryway, lifting up a hand and waving at them lazily.

“Hey guys. I just ran home because I was bored. Going to go take a shower.” He disappeared from the room, and the sound of running water hissed softly around the condo.

“So...” Kyle slowly turned his attention to the girls. “I have some more questions for you...”

Doug rounded on Kyle. “Don’t. Ruin. This.”

Kyle scowled, and marched off to his room, slamming the door behind him. Rainbow Dash crossed her arms and frowned a bit, deciding she should talk to him. When she tried to open his door, it was locked.

“Who is it?” Kyle’s muffled voice was just barely understandable to Rainbow.

“It’s me, Robin. Can I- Uh- Come in?”

She heard him sigh, and start unlocking his door. “I guess if I don’t let you in, everyone else’ll get mad at me.” The door swung open, revealing Kyle’s blank face and icy stare. “What do you want?”

“Why’re you being such a jerk?” She cocked her eyebrow. “We don’t mean any harm or anything. Come on dude, chill.”

“Seriously?” Kyle frowned, and closed his door to the point where it was only open a small crack. “Go away.”

Rainbow didn’t let up, and shoved the door open. “Oh no you don’t!”

“What the fuck?! Get out you crazy bitch!” Kyle lost his composure, and started yelling.

“Nope. I’m staying right here.” She looked around his small room. There were no decorations, no bookshelves or anything of the sorts. Just a bed, a computer, and a TV, and as always, the lights were off, just like in the show. “Uh... It’s a bit empty, don'tcha think?”

“Don’t tell me how I should think about my room.” Kyle crossed his arms, and started tapping his foot impatiently.

“What’s your problem? I just want to talk!”

Kyle started chuckling. “Yeah, sure. And I bet you want to be ‘friends’ too. What do you want? Is it money? Sorry, I’m broke. Want my stuff? Good luck taking it. I’m lucky I have my friends out there. They’re the only people I trust. Anyone else would say they’re my friends, and then just stab me in the back.”

“But that’s... Come on, you have to have more faith in po-” Rainbow stopped, and took a second to recompose herself. “People. Seriously.”

He rubbed his eyes, and sighed. “Oh for the love of- Alright, I’ll bite. We can talk.”

She smiled, and sat down on Kyle’s bed, while he just turned in his chair. “Well... Tell me about yourself. The rest, I mean. I already know you’re a bit of a jerk.”

He closed his eyes, and pretended not to have heard the insult. “Well, I’m a bit... distrusting, as you can tell... I’m not really at liberty to tell a complete stranger much else. Mind telling me who you are?”

“You know my name already. It’s Robin. And-”

Kyle raised a hand to ask for silence. “Hold it. What’s your last name?”

“Uh-” Rainbow’s eyes wandered the room for a second, but then a smile grew on her face. “Wonders. My name’s Robin Wonders.”

“Mhm...” Kyle let the information sink in for a second, before moving on. “Where are you from?”

“Canada.”

Kyle leaned down, propping his elbows on his knees. “What city?”

“Uh... I’m from...” Rainbow shook her head. “Wait, why should I be willing to tell you so much if you won’t tell me anything?”

Kyle’s eyes widened, but then he grinned. “Smart girl... Maybe I was wrong about you all. Or at least you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in the front of the condo, the rest of the gang showed up with their taxi shuttle. They all piled into the living room to talk about what was going to happen in the next few days.

“You know, you could just pick a room and be done with it. All of our rooms have one of us in ‘em, and we can just take the floor if we need to.”

Kyle and Rainbow walked in the moment Camron finished talking, catching just the end bit. “Someone take my bed? I don’t use it anyway.” Kyle stood with his friends, who were standing across from the sitting girls.

Rainbow sat down with her friends as Ditzy opened her mouth to talk. She was almost instantly cut off by someone walking down the hallway, singing.

“Ahhh... Girl look at that body. Ahhh... Girl look at that body,” It was Ben, walking into the kitchen. Shirtless. He opened the fridge and got out a Coke. “I, I, work out!”

Rainbow’s eyes widened as Ben walked out into the living room with just a pair of shorts on.

“We can see that.” Rainbow Dash’s jaw seemed to just stay open after she commented on Ben’s body.

Doug was trying his hardest to not laugh his ass off.

Ben was knocked out of his trancelike state of singing and looked up from his beverage. His fingers cracked open the top and dropped to his side. “Uh... Sorry about that. It’s just a habit I’ve gotten.” His eyes widened even more as Lyra’s nose started bleeding, red streams trailing their way down her chin. Doug went wide-eyed as well as he looked back at Ben, then back at Lyra. He couldn’t hold it anymore, and he roared in laughter as he fell onto his back.

Ben shot Doug a fierce glare, which shut him up. He then turned back to Lyra, “Look... I’m really, REALLY sorry. If you want me to go...” Ben was interrupted by Lyra, whose hand shot up excitedly.

“No, keep it off.” She feebly pointed to Ben. “I’ll take his room.”

Isaac shook his head weakly. “Since when did our life become a manga?”

Ben took his drink and accidentally spilt it all over himself with his shaking hands. He tried to wipe it off of himself, but only succeeded in wiping it all over his body. “Damnit! I’m going to go get a freaking shirt.” Ben tore his eyes away from the copious amount of blood coming out of Lyra’s nose (Lyra had almost passed out with how much blood she was losing) to head to his room once again.

Kasper took a single look Lyra’s bloody face. “I’m just... er, excuse me for a bit. I just gotta... go...” he said as he hurried out of the room.

Kyle rubbed his eyes, and proceeded to plug Lyra’s nose with some paper towel. “Hey.” He waved his hand in front of her face to get her attention. “You okay?”

She blinked a few times, but looked up at him. “Uh... Yeah... Wait. Don’t you, like, not trust any of us? At all?”

“Yeah, but I can’t stand to see people in pain. Are you sure you’re okay? You look a bit pale.”

“No, it’s fine, really.” She shakily stood up, and made her way to the living room. “If you need me, I’ll be on the couch. I need to lay down...”

“Alright, as entertaining as this whole event has been... I’m gonna bounce to my room.” Camron stated. “Anybody wanna tag along?”

Ditzy and Vinyl both looked up and tagged along with him.

“Well... experience has taught me the ladies love muffins. So... muffin?” Ditzy’s lazy eye, which had been slowly drifting across the room, suddenly snapped back to Camron at the mention of muffins.

“MUFFINS!” She jumped and tackled Camron out of his chair. “GIMME.”

“Woah woah woah! Hold up there, Speed Racer!” Camron slowly got up and made his way across the room to a chrome cabinet. Looking out of the corner of his eye, he could see that Ditzy was vibrating slightly in anticipation. “Alright... We have blueberry muffins... Chocolate Chip muffins... Banana muffins~”

“B-BANANA! GIVE THEM TO ME. PLEASE!” She screamed this, as if she needed them to live.

Camron raised an eyebrow at this, and couldn’t help but to chuckle. “Alright, alright... Catch!” He said as he tossed a banana muffin to Ditzy, who jumped into the air and caught it in her mouth.

She managed to say a muffled thanks after she landed clumsily, nearly falling onto her face. After recovering, she began munching on the delicious treat, her eyes rolling back in yummy goodness.

“You enjoying that muffin, there?” Camron’s grin grew.

“Mhm.” The thoughts that were passing through Camron’s mind were so obscene, it would be immoral to write them in a fic rated ‘Teen’.

“Alrighty then. I’ll just be here~” He slowly slipped into the terrible recesses of his mind as one of his eyes slowly slid off in the wrong direction.

“Uh... Well then...” Vinyl desperately looked for a way out, and thankfully spotted Kasper through the window, sitting on the balcony. “I’m just gonna go talk to Kasper now... Bye.” She turned and quickly exited the room, not even considering how bad of an idea it would be to leave Ditzy alone with Camron.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kasper was sitting alone with his thoughts, listening to his iPod. He didn’t hear Vinyl come out onto the balcony.

“Hey, Kasper.” He didn’t respond, and she noticed the earbuds he had on. “Oh.”

He started swinging his feet and bobbing his head to the beat of whatever song he was listening to. “Aw, how cute~.” Vinyl grinned, and let out a little fangirl-y giggle. She snuck up behind him, and stole an earbud from him, and stuck it in her own ear.

“Woah, what the- Oh. It’s...” Kasper failed to remember whether Vinyl had ever giving her name. “You. Hi.”

Vinyl took off her glasses and whipped her hair around a bit before looking into his eyes. “My name’s Torrie. Don’t wear it out~.” She said with a wink.

“Ah. Well my name’s Kasper. I believe you’ve stolen my music.” He said, with a mock-accusing point. He had slight trouble finding the correct words, as he was surprised by her deep red eyes.

“Oh? Well what’re you gonna do about it...” She poked him on the shoulder. “Bub?”

“Normally I’d steal it back, but you seem like you’re into music. You’re welcome to listen if you want,” he shrugged, “I really don’t mind.”

“Thanks. You know, you’re a pretty cool guy...” Vinyl looked out over the lake for a moment before looking back to him. “Hey, why’d you go running out of the kitchen earlier?”

A few minutes passed in silence. Kasper let out a dejected sigh. “If you really want to know... it was the blood.” He turned his head away.

“The blood?” Vinyl cocked her head curiously.

“Yeah, I’ve never been able to look at blood. It doesn’t matter if it’s my own or someone else’s, it just makes me uncomfortable. It’s a phobia I’ve had my entire life.” He shuddered a bit at the very mention of blood. “I felt like I was about to faint in there... I had to get out for a bit, to calm down.”

“Huh... I never would have guessed.” She swung her legs a bit, and stared up into the sky. “You don’t really seem the type to be scared of much. You look really... Chill.”

He let out a small chuckle. “Oh, I do? Hehe, yeah, I usually try to keep up my mood. Take the world with a smile! And why not take it as it comes? Completely calm and chill.”

“Kasper,” she reached around him and pulled him in by his shoulder. “I think we’re gonna get along just fine.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“... So, suddenly, the Prosecution pulls out a NEW Autopsy Report, and I know it’s fake. So, I simply disprove said new report with the REAL one, along with the crime scene description, since they didn’t match up.” Kyle started laughing at the memory. He was telling another one of his stories. “So guess what I end up figuring out?”

Coal opened his mouth to say something, but backed out, so Doug took his place. “GUILTY!” he shouted with a goofy grin. Fluttershy shrunk a bit at the volume of his voice. Doug noticed that and mouthed an apology. She nodded and returned to her normal stance.

“No, you twit.” Doug frowned, but Kyle ignored it and kept going. “I found out the Prosecutor was the murderer. Quite obvious, actually. His shoe size matched the muddy shoe print found on the scene, and he had a grudge against the victim.”

“And you figured all of that out... In a few minutes?” Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow, unable to believe that.

“Of course I did.” Kyle tapped the side of his head. “Logic. A man’s best weapon.”

“Well, ah’ didn’t see THAT comin’.” Applejack laughed. “So ya’ found the truth, even if nobody believed ya’. Ah’ like that.”

Kyle nodded in thanks. “Well, that’s it... Unless you all want to hear the story of where the word ‘contradiction’ came from-”

Coal loudly cleared his throat. “As much as I’d LOVE to hear another story, Kyle, don’t you have work to do?”

“Ugh, fine. I guess it’s about time I get College out of the way... To the computer! Allons~y!” He hopped out of his seat and headed off to his room, Rainbow Dash following behind him.

“I think I’d better get my work done too...” Coal checked his watch. “Yeah... I’m off. Later, everyone.” With that, he was gone too, leaving Isaac, Doug, Ryan, Pinkie, Applejack, and Fluttershy.

“So, Penny... I was curious about how you got your hair to be all poofy and pink. How did you do that?” Doug asked, trying to bring up a topic so no one else would get bored and leave.

“Oh, you mean my ma- Hair! I just got this naturally! It’s almost always like this!” Pinkie said happily. “Occasionally, it gets all straight and droopy, but that’s only when I’m really sad! And that almost NEVER happens!”

“Whoa... Really?” Doug asked; this reminded him of something quite familiar. He shrugged it off, however, and continued, “That’s like... Wacky! I like it! Can you show me how to do that?”

“Sure! Come on! We can go do it now!” She said, getting up from her couch and grabbing Doug’s arm.

“Wha-WHOAAA!” Doug yelped in surprise at how fast he was being dragged across the hallway into the bathroom.

“Ah... Good luck ta’ tha poor boy, cuz when Penny’s around, stuff just doesn’t seem ta’ make sense...” Applejack said, shaking her head.

Isaac raised an eyebrow to this, “Why would that be?”

“You’ll see, she’s a mite nutty.” Applejack chuckled.

Back in the bathroom, Pinkie was moving faster than Doug could comprehend. Before he knew it, his hair was just as poofy as Pinkie’s, if not more. “Whoa... I see... Why... Why are there three Pennys... Standing in front of me...?” Doug asked in confusion and shock. It took him a few seconds to refocus his vision, and when he did, he stared at his own crazy reflection in the mirror. He just stood there, gawking at his new hairstyle.

Pinkie giggled, “Heehee! You look so cute and funny like this! Let’s go show the rest of your friends!”

Doug simply hugged her in response, yelling, “WHEEEEEEEEEEEEW!”

They left the bathroom, and charged down the hallway back towards the living room. Pinkie joined in on the shouting. Next thing everyone knew, Pinkie had tackled Applejack, and Doug attempted to tackle Isaac, who stepped off to one side. Doug careened into the wall behind him headfirst. Pinkie, Applejack, and Doug all fell to the floor.

“Ugh... Consarn it, Pin-Penny!” Applejack shouted frustratingly at Pinkie, barely able to save herself from revealing the secret. “Ya’ could’a hurt me there!” Isaac rolled Doug back over only to find him unconscious. His newly poofed hair was flattened due to the collision.

Fluttershy nearly fainted upon Doug’s encounter with the wall, but steeled herself and whispered, “Oh my...”

Pinkie stopped her energetic self to apologize, “I’m sorry, Applejack, I wasn’t trying to hurt you...” She said, beginning to tear up.

“’S’okay, Ah forgive ya. Jus’ please be more careful next time?” Applejack requested, putting a reassuring hand on Pinkie’s shoulder. Pinkie looked up, happiness starting to return, and nodded. She then looked at Doug, who was still unconscious at the time.

“Hey!” Camron walked out of his room with his arm wrapped around Ditzy in a friendly manner. “What the hell was that noise? Sounded like somebody got tru- Ooooh. Doug’s KO’d.” He chuckled softly and softly jabbed Doug’s shin with his foot.

“Ohmygosh, is he going to be okay?” Pinkie asked worriedly.

Isaac sighed and nodded. “This isn’t the first time Doug has knocked himself unconscious. He seems to have a knack for injuring himself without any of the injuries being permanent.” Isaac checked Doug’s pulse to be sure.

Applejack was just shaking her head at all of this, mumbling under her breath. “‘S jus’ Pinkie bein’ Pinkie...”

“Oh! I know! I’ll whip up a nice batch of cupcakes for when he wakes up! I’m sure he’ll love those!” Pinkie said, hopping up and down giddily.

“I... I would love that...” Doug muttered as he began to awaken.

Pinkie gasped and tackle-hugged Doug. “Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh, I’m glad you’re okay!”

“Can’t... Breathe... Need... OXYGEN.” Doug yelped, gasping for breath.

“Oh! Sorry! Hehe!” Pinkie giggled, letting go of the poor man that she was suffocating with her death-grip hug.

Doug took in a deep breath of air. “Ah... SWEET, SWEET AIR! How I’ve missed you so!” he said, overdramatically.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, Doug.” Camron reached down and gave Doug a boost getting up.

Pinkie giggled even more at that. “Now, let’s all celebrate with those cupcakes!” She shouted with glee. Isaac, Applejack, and Fluttershy seemed to cheer up exponentially at this.

Ben popped his head in the room, wearing a white muscle shirt, looking around. “Hey, where’s that lady that I gave the nosebleed to?”

Doug took in another deep lungful of air, and proceeded to laugh uproariously. Isaac just cocked his thumb behind him towards the couch.

“Looks like I have to bring her to my room, don’t I?” Ben walked over to where Lyra was asleep, curled up on the couch. He picked her up gently, easily keeping her small form in the little ball that she had curled up into. She smiled, and snuggled her head down into his pectoral as he made his way to his room.

“Alright. I’m gonna go back to my room. You coming Debby?” Camron asked as he got up from his seat. Ditzy nodded and they both left for his room.

Fluttershy turned to Doug with a confused expression. “Wait, where are Victoria and Marcus? I don’t remember them being in the cab...”

Doug scratched his chest as he hoisted himself on top of the chair he was leaning on. “Oh, Marcus doesn’t come back ‘till a little past eleven. I guess that Victoria just decided to hang with him. Wait until she sees that truck he has for a car-”

Suddenly, Kyle’s door slammed against the wall. “Fuck college, I’m bored! I’ll write that report another day, I’m sure my professor won’t mind.” Fluttershy recoiled from his shouting. Kyle noticed this, and took a moment to calm himself. “Uh... Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you... Wait.” Kyle scratched his head. “I don’t know your name. Heck, I don’t think I know any of your names, save Robin.”

“My name’s...” She lowered her head, and her voice. “Flora...” She was almost inaudible.

“Flora, huh? That’s...” Kyle narrowed his eyes, which made Fluttershy shrink even more. “An interesting name... I’m just gonna go grab a soda.” He walked off to the kitchen, and Doug rolled his eyes.

“Ah, don’t mind him. He’s just a bit too serious sometimes. He’ll warm up to you, don’t worry.” Ryan smiled, and Fluttershy smiled back. The mood Kyle had created lightened a bit.

“Oh, it’s alright, a few of my friends are like that sometimes, especially-” She stopped herself, unable to remember Twilight’s human name. She’d only heard it once or twice.

“Especially...?” Doug cocked his eyebrow.

“Oh, nevermind. I-It would be rude to talk about her behind her back.”

Kyle marched out of the kitchen, a can of Mountain Dew in his hand. “What’s this about being behind someone’s back?”

Flora shrunk back down. “Um... No, I just-”

“Hey, calm down. It’s fine.” Kyle waved a hand to dismiss the topic. “Where’s Robin, anyways? Did she stay in my room- Shit!” He bolted up the stairs, yelling about his computer, and how no-one other than him is allowed to touch it.

“Uh...” Doug couldn’t find a way to respond to that.

“He’s like that when it comes to his things...” Ryan rolled his eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wonder what Marcus is up to...” Camron mused as he paced back and forth in his room. Ditzy was preoccupied munching on a chocolate chip muffin to notice.

“Well... speak of the devil...” Stated Camron as he pulled out his cell phone. “Let me see...

From: Marcus
Hey camron. sending this bcuz i’ll be back in about 30. leave the front gate unlocked. cya.”

“May as well tel-”

“Wait!” Ditzy grabbed Camron’s phone out of his hand and flipped it over, revealing a worn out sticker of... Her, in pony form. “What’s this? Is thi-”

“Hey! Give me that back!” yelled Camron as he reached out for the phone.

“Not until you explain how you got this!” She scrunched up her eyes and put on a serious glare.

Camron sighed deeply and sat in a chair. “Alright. Jeeze. That’s a picture of my favorite character from a show I watch.”

Ditzy opened her mouth to speak, but Camron held up a finger to stop her. “Before you say anything, understand that although this show may seem girly and all... I really, really enjoy it. And this character, she makes me smile, and it always strikes me how she can shrug off other people’s opinions. Something I never was able to do. So now... Mock me. People I know always do... Especially the girls.”

Ditzy turned to face him and stared at him for a good second with a tear forming in her eye. Suddenly she leaped forward and knocked Camron out his chair, embracing him in a hug.

“Err... Alright.” He hugged her back. “So... do you like Pendulum?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“... Because, NOBODY’S allowed to touch my stuff, Robin.” Kyle was standing in between her and his computer. The reason? Kyle had half of his hard drive loaded with pony stuff. Custom music, games, videos...

“But I wanna see! What’s the problem?”

“Listen, Robin, I just don’t like people touching my stuff. It makes me feel...” Kyle scratched his head for a moment, trying to think of a good word. “Threatened.”

Rainbow Dash shrugged, and sat down on his bed. “Fine...”

Kyle nodded, satisfied. “Good, now, I’m gonna go get something to eat...” He put his foot out the door, but stopped, and turned back. “Do you want anythi-”

Rainbow was staring wide-eyed at Kyle’s computer screen. It was her... But as a pony, in a Wonderbolts costume, a happy smile. “What’s up with this...?”

Kyle let out an angry, stressed sigh, and leaned back against the wall. “Well, you have your secrets, I have mine. You just found one of them. I watch that show all the time, even though it’s for little girls. I do feel a little ashamed of myself, but what the hell? I enjoy it.”

Rainbow shook her head slowly, muttering “no way” under her breath.

“Yeah, I saw that coming...” Kyle took off his hat, and brushed his bangs out of his eye, and instead of the icy stare he normally had, there was a tired, sad gaze. “Go ahead, say whatever you want, I don’t care.” He seemed to brace himself, as he took in a breath, and closed his eyes.

“I’m not gonna say anything.” Kyle’s eyes popped open in surprise. “It’s... Different. That’s all.” She still looked shocked, but she wasn’t disgusted or anything, which was a plus to Kyle.

“... You’re serious? You ain’t gonna give me crap for it?”

“No! Why would I?” Rainbow smiled, and caught Kyle off guard again.

“... Thanks. You really don’t know how much I was expecting you to start bombarding me with homophobic bullshit.” He smiled, but just slightly.

“Well, finally smiling...” A mischievous smile grew on her face. “Mr. Stone Face?”

Kyle started laughing. “Nice... Hey, I’m sorry for being suspicious of you and your friends. You all seem pretty trustworthy. You know how it is, you can’t trust anyone these days.”

“I guess.” She stretched, and yawned. “I’m just gonna... Go. I’ve got some stuff to talk about with the girls. You know, girly stuff... Uh...”

Kyle shrugged. “Sure. I’m just gonna...” He looked at the ceiling, and then back to Rainbow. “Ah, who am I kidding, I’m gonna slack off. Again. And piss off my professor. Again. And probably fail the class... Again. But, I HAVE VIDEO GAMES TO PLAY!”

“Oh? Like what?” She cocked her eyebrow in curiosity.

“... Uh...” His eyes darted around the room. “Nothing you’d- Uh- Be... Um... Interested in-”

“Hold it.” Kyle’s jaw dropped, causing Rainbow to smile. “Who are you to say that? Come on, show me.”

“OK... It’s called..” He swallowed hard, fear in his eyes. “‘Penumbra: Overture...’”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Isaac snagged a bottle of water and slowly backed out of the chaotic mess that was the kitchen. Clouds of flour and other ingredients filled the air. After getting far enough away to not be choked by the fumes, Isaac turned and strode out into the living room to check on their unconscious guest. As he walked down the hallway, passing Kyle’s room, he heard a duo of high pitched screams along with the sounds of monsters and terror.

“TAKE THE BEEF JERKY! NO, NOT ME, TAKE THE FUCKIN’ BEEF JERKY- OH HOLY SHIT NO- AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” Kyle’s screams were louder than all of them, and slowly drifting from comprehensible words, to gibberish. Isaac chuckled and shook his head as he passed by.

Once he reached the living room, Isaac walked over to the large couch that dominated most of the room. Lying across the cushions was a beautiful young woman with indigo hair. Twilight still hadn’t roused after fainting in Ben’s arms. Isaac sat down near her and took her hand to check her pulse, feeling for any abnormalities. As he sat there, holding her hand, her eyes flitted open.

Isaac was struck by her violet eyes. Such an unnatural color, yet they seemed to fit this woman so perfectly. Twilight gazed back into his eyes with equal amounts of wonder.

At the same moment Twilight woke up, Ryan strode into the room. He looked over to the couch, silently watching Isaac and Twilight gaze into each others eyes.

“Naughty, naughty~...” He cooed, snapping them out of their trance. They both looked away, blushing profusely. “Not interrupting anything, am I?”

“What? N-no!” Twilight stuttered, while Isaac rubbed his temples in annoyance.

“I was just checking to see if she was alright when she woke up. You just had to come in and make it so awkward.” Isaac looked up from his facepalm. “I’m sorry about this. My friend Ryan can tend to be a little... Immature.”

“I prefer to call it ‘Imaginative’... Screw it, I have the mind of a 5 year old! You guys still love me though!”

Isaac chuckled. “Of course we love you, but would you mind toning it down a bit?” He looked back to the reclining woman. “Anyway, I’m sure you’re quite confused as to who we are and where you are. I’m Isaac, and this is Ryan. After you fainted in my friend Ben’s arms, we found the rest of your friends and gathered back here at our condo... Your name’s Susan, right?”

The woman’s eyes flashed from Isaac to Ryan, her blush getting considerably brighter as she stumbled with her words. “Su-Susan? Oh wait, yes, my name is Susan.” Twilight got up slowly, raising herself into an upright position, and looked at her hands for a good few moments.

“Uh, you sure you’re alright there Susan? You look a little lost.” Asked Ryan, looking at her worriedly.

“Y-yes, I’m fine. Just a little confused is all... can you tell me where my friends are?”

“Well, Penny and Doug are in the kitchen making cupcakes, I believe,” Isaac pointed towards the doorway that had clouds of flour billowing out of it. “Torrie and Kasper are out on the balcony just in front of us.” He nodded ahead, Susan following his gaze, her eyes resting upon a woman with neon blue hair.

Isaac stopped to gather his thoughts, and Ryan continued for him. “Ben took Laura to his room, because she fell asleep on the couch. Camron and Debby are in Cam’s room right now,” He pointed at the loud room just up the hall. “Flora’s gone out to the garden, and A.J. just stepped outside to get some air.”

Another set of screams came from Kyle’s room. “And, as you can tell, Kyle is in there,” Ryan pointed towards the closed door, ”along with Robin.”

“Don’t forget Marcus and Victoria. They’re still out at the mall.” Isaac pointed out.

Ryan counted on his fingers, seemingly doing some mental math. “Looks like almost everyone is accounted for. Who would you like to room with, Susan? Me, Isaac, or Marcus?”

Twilight shifted her weight on the couch nervously. “Well, I’d like to room with Isaac.” Her blush returned slightly, only giving Twilight’s face a slight tinge of pink.

Ryan grinned mischievously, the lighthearted shenanigans he had planned showing through his twinkling eyes. “Looks like you want to room with loverboy over there. Seems like we got ourselves some love birds.”

Ryan’s musings were interrupted by a swift smack upside the back of his head from Isaac. “We’ve only just met.” Isaac rolled his eyes before turning back to Twilight. “Now then, shall I show you to your new room?”

Her eyes lit up and she replied, “That sounds wonderful.”

“I bet it does~” Ryan gave Isaac a huge, cheesy wink.

Isaac tossed his hand up into the air in disgust. “Fine. You can show her to the room. I have some science to get done anyway.” Isaac walked over to the doorway leading downstairs, then turned back. “It may be a little chaotic around here, but you get used to it after a bit. You should probably try to rest once you get to my room.” He turned to go downstairs before stopping again and called back to them, “Oh, and please don’t touch any of my swords that are on the walls. Wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Ben’s room, Lyra was beginning to stir. She woke up, finding herself on a bed rather than a couch. It was a simple bedroom, a thick, plush red carpet on the floor, and cream-coloured wall with strips of black at the ceiling and the floor. Lyra lifted herself on her elbows to look around, and was greeted by the sight of Ben’s large form, which was hunched over something. She cleared her throat to catch his attention. Ben jumped up, and turned around, trying to hide whatever he was working on behind him.

“Hey, I’m sorry about that. You said you wanted my room, and then when I came back with a shirt, you were asleep on the couch. I just took you to my room so that you could sleep on a bed, and to see where I can fit on the floor.” Ben shuffled a bit awkwardly as Lyra bored her eyes into him.

“What’s behind you? You seem awfully protective of it.” Ben just looked behind him, and stepped aside.

“What, this? Its just my Booze Bin.” Ben got back down, but slightly to the side so that Lyra could see from her vantage point. It was a large box that had a few different latches and taps on it, and it slid down into the floor when he was done messing around with it. Lyra’s eyes roamed around the room, seeing only a simple wardrobe with an extensive number of drawers, and finally landed on three guitars. One electric bass, an electric guitar, and an acoustic guitar.

“Hey, you okay?” Ben turned to Lyra, worry etched on his face. Lyra sprung up from the bed, and stretched out her limbs.

“Never felt better! So, what’s your name, anyway?” Lyra asked to take some suspicion off of her, and just to get Ben talking.

Ben scratched his scalp and shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Well, my name’s Ben. This is my room, and I know, not much to look at. I like to keep it this way, makes sure that it keeps my clutter low.”

Lyra pointed at the almost-invisible hooch box. “So, care to show me what’s in there?” Lyra almost slapped herself for using her usual abrasive curiosity as Ben cocked an eyebrow.

“You know what? You’re going to be sleeping in my room. Might as well show you what’s in my bin. As well as any other things I usually keep secret around here...” Ben trailed off as he looked around his sparse room with his hands akimbo. He just shook his head as his eyes landed on the bed. Ben beckoned Lyra down as he got on his knees to deal with the box that sunk into the floor.

“So why does it sink down into the floor?” Lyra was puzzled with the large box that she never saw in the show. Ben just shook his head as he flipped a few switches and punched in a few numbers on the top. There was the sound of hydraulics as the box lifted from its resting place.

“I am just really protective of my booze. I like to make sure to keep ‘em safe by locking this refrigerated dumbwaiter into the ground.” The large door swung open as the dumbwaiter completed its ascent from the floor.

“Woah...” Hundreds of bottles lined the walls of the large box, as well as the door. Lyra caught sight of a few names, Jagermiester... Jack Daniels... Assorted bottles of cider... Assorted small barrels of german beer... Applejack Daniels... wait.

“Applejack Daniels?” Lyra did a double take. It really was a booze with AJ’s name on it. It even had a little picture of AJ on the bottle. Ben shifted nervously as Lyra looked deeper into the vault of inebriation. There were bottles of booze for all of her friends. There was a bottle that had a picture of a piece of candy that looked strangely like Bon-Bon’s cutie-mark. Its label read ‘Candyass’ and it had the same colour of her coat. She saw a bottle with a strange-looking bird on the front, and pulled it out.

“Philomena’s Flame. Yeah, those are custom-made alcoholic drinks. Made for bronies. And yes, I am a brony too.” Lyra looked at Ben with curiosity, eyeing up the bottle and Ben’s relatively neutral expression at the same time. Another bottle caught Lyra’s eye, the bottle having the color of mint green. She reached out and grabbed the bottle, bringing it out of the dumbwaiter. She read the title of the drink.

“High Strung. One of my best creations, I think I spent a good amount of time making this mix.” Lyra stared at a cheerfully waving picture of herself on the bottle, as a pony.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pinkie was humming her favorite cupcakes tune while showing Doug step-by-step how to make them.

“So... Uh, what do I do now?” Doug asked confused. He had just finished mixing the main ingredients in a bowl while Pinkie was just behind watching.

“You put the mixture into the muffin tin and bake it silly!” Pinkie said bouncing around in anticipation.

“Okay...” He tilts the bowl into each slot on the tin. By this time, Pinkie was practically squeeing with delight.

“Aaannd... YOU’RE DONE!” Doug practically jumped from the outburst, almost dropping the bowl onto the contents below. “Now bake those delicious treats for about fifteen minutes!”

Doug was not a good cook, and while he used to cook in Family Consumer Science class in tenth grade, he was not very reliable. He tended to aggravate his partners... A lot. Pinkie, however, seemed unperturbed by his slowness. While she was anxious, she was perfectly content with his pace. Doug really appreciated that.

“So, that’s it?” Doug asked somewhat shocked. He always expects more work than it usually is.

“No, silly! You still have to put the icing on them! OH, and don’t forget the sprinkles!” She put extra emphasis on that last word.

“Okay, okay! I got it! Heheh...” Doug was already becoming bored, and Pinkie seemed to be showing the same feeling. “Hey, want to check out my room? I could show you some of the stuff I have in there! Ben likes to keep his room pretty organized, but I don’t really care about that... Too much stuff to put up, I’m seri-”

Pinkie stopped him mid-sentence by putting a hand over his mouth, hushing him. “Sure!” She said, grabbing his arm as they run down the hallway.

“WAIT! MY ROOM IS AT THE BEGINNIIING!” Doug shouts. Pinkie stops abruptly, sending him four feet down the hall. He ended up reacquainting his face with the ground. Muffled sounds of pain were heard from the poor soul.

“Come on, lazy! Where’s your room?” Pinkie says while pulling Doug up from the friendly ground. Before she can move, Doug interrupts with a “STOP.” Pinkie halts in her march and turns back to Doug. His face is as red as an apple, partly from the impact of the ground, and partly from the rising frustration.

“Oh... Sorry...” Pinkie said, giving the puppy eyes. Doug sees them... And his heart practically melts.

“It’s... fine. My room is down there, on the left.” He points to the first room on the right.

“Okey-dokey-lokey! Let’s go!” She grabs his arm, yet again.

“GAAAHHHH!” Is the only sound that is emitted from Doug as they burst through the door.

Pinkie surveyed the room they had both barged into. It was nothing special, but there were plenty of clothes on the ground. There were even some toys and cases with designs laying scattered across the ground as well. The wall had some cool posters on them, but she had never seen anything like what was on them. One poster had a human with red, shiny hair, and two scars in the shape of an X on his cheek. His face looked determined as he wore a green robe with a sharpened sword. This image sort of scared her a bit, but she moved on to the other sights. She saw some sort of TV with a picture on its screen.

She moved to get a closer look at it, but Doug moved in front of her. He rushed to his... TV and quickly turned it off before she could get a closer look at it. He had a look of pure terror on his face. When he finally turned around, he sighed in relief, although the stress-filled visage reappeared when he saw her suspicious-looking face. But, her expression randomly became happy again.

“Is there something you don’t want to show me, Doug?” She asked curiously with a sly grin.

“Nope! Nothing at all! It was just... Nothing!” Doug grinned sheepishly.

Pinkie glared at him for a few seconds, but it seemed like an eternity to Doug.

“Hmm... Okey-dokey-lokey....” She said giving the “I’m watching you” look to Doug, which made him stiffen up even more. She began walking towards his shelf, but he blocked her path again. Pinkie was becoming frustrated with these sudden restrictions.

“Ugh, but I thought you said you were going to show me your room!” Pinkie complained.

“I never said I had to show you all of it! There are some personal things that no one needs to see in here!” He said, feeling more confident with his comeback.

“Okay... I’ll just leave then...” Pinkie whimpered. She began walking back towards the door, but not before looking back, showing Doug her prized puppy face.

Doug took one look at it, and regretted his decision immediately. He thought for a moment, then finally gave in to the antics of the Pinkie.

“Penny, wait... I’ll show you them... Just promise you won’t laugh!” Doug requested frantically.

Pinkie immediately brightened up. “Yay! Can I see what’s on there?” Pointing towards his computer.

Doug sighed. “Sure...” Pinkie squeed at that answer. “Prepare yourself, you’re likely to flip at me for this.”

“Silly, why would I get angry at you? You’re too cutesy-wootesy for me to do that!” Pinkie said, giggling uncontrollably.

“No, I didn’t me- Ah... Nevermind... Here goes nothing...” He turned on the monitor, revealing the Mane Six as fillies munching on cookies.

“Well? Any comments, insults, or criticisms? I’m all ears.” He said, looking back at Pinkie. Her eyes were frozen, as was her face, in a shocked expression. She was letting out a long, loud gasp. Pinkie began to tip backwards, causing Doug to tilt his chair to catch her. The ending results were Doug falling first with Pinkie landing on him.

“OOF! Oh, brother... At least she didn’t laugh...” He got up, pulling her towards his bed. It looked as if she was out cold. “This is going to be a funny story for the guys...” Doug sighed, returning to his computer.

He looked at his picture again, and looked at Pinkie, his favorite pony. His mind began to work slowly... Then the realization hit him like a hammer. “She’s a Pegasister...”

Doug let out a long gasp, similar to Pinkie’s, and fell out of his chair, knocking him out cold as well.

Isaac came into the room, intent on asking Pinkie a question, but instead found Doug on the ground with a shocked expression on his face. He turned to Pinkie, who was apparently sleeping on Doug’s bed. Isaac paused for a moment, observing the slumbering party animal.

He silently mulled a few options in his mind before settling on one with a nod. Isaac stepped back out into the hallway and looked around to see if the coast was clear. Upon ascertaining that no one would interrupt him, Isaac silently navigated the maze of refuse that cluttered Doug’s room over to the bed. He took one of Pinkie’s hairs that lay on the bed near her, wrapped it in a handkerchief, and slipped back out of the room.

“Now time for some science...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I can’t believe he raised the heat on that damn furnace... He nearly cooked the whole product!” Coal mumbled to himself as he pulled into the condo. He didn’t see Marcus’s truck with the others, and gave a tired sigh. “Marcus isn’t back yet, so it’s likely the guys haven’t eaten. I better get on that... Hope these women don’t mind my cooking.”

Coal was lost in thought as he went over what all he could make for everybody. He made it all the way to the front door before he caught sight of a large stetson out of the corner of his eye. Coal turned to see the young southern girl sitting on the front porch. She had her stetson over the front half of her face, but lifted the rim to give him a quick smile. “Hey there.”

“Hey... Uhhh...” Coal began rubbing the back of his head. For the life of him he couldn’t remember this girl's name.

“Somethin’ the matter, sugarcube?” Applejack queried as she leaned upright.

“Yeah, I’m afraid I’ve forgotten your name. Sorry about that, but uhhh... What was it again?”

“Y’all can call me Jackie, Coal.”

“Hahah... Yet you remember mine. Sorry, I’m pretty bad with names. So... Any reason you’re out here, Jackie?” Coal stepped away from the door, and sat down across from Applejack on the porch.

“It’s all sorts of loud inside. Ah just needed ta’ relax out here ah bit.” Applejack leaned back against the condo, and took in a deep breath. “It has been one heck of ah day.”

“I bet. I’m not sure why all of you needed a place to stay, but uh... If any of you are in trouble, please let us know.” Coal gave an awkward smile as he scratched the side of his head.

Applejack shook her head, and smiled a little wider. “It ain’t nothin’ like that, but thank ya all the same.”

Coal gave a small sigh of relief, and then made his way for the door once more. “Good to know. Anyway, I better get busy on dinner. I’m not the only one who can cook in this place, but one of the few who actually will. Anything you particularly like?”

Applejack pulled the rim back down over her eyes as she got comfortable once more. “Ah’m always up fer anythin’ with apples.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus led Rarity out the front of the mall. He proceeded to lock all five pairs of glass doors and pull down the iron grating in front of them.

“Hate having to close up... It’s such a pain in the ass...” He mumbled to himself.

He finished up his almost nightly routine and turned around, leading the purple haired beauty into the parking lot towards the lone blue pickup truck sitting on the asphalt.

“You look awfully tired, are you sure it’s a good idea for you to be driving?” Rarity asked with a worried expression.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

Marcus opened the passenger side door for Rarity. She smiled at him and climbed in. He smiled back and closed the door behind her. He climbed into his seat on the other side of the truck and turned the key. The hunk of scrap metal sputtered to life and started to purr. The two of them sped out of the parking lot onto the dark streets. The buildings and street lamps soon gave way to hills and trees. Lots of trees.

“So you live out in the middle of nowhere?” Rarity’s expression changed to one of nostalgia. “Reminds me of home...”

“Really now? Where ya from?” Marcus glanced over to his companion long enough to see her expression. It reminded him of a child who had run away from home.

“I’m from.... Just a little town in Canada. You’ve probably never heard of it.”

“Yeah, betcha I haven’t.”

The two sat in silence for several minutes until Rarity finally spoke up, “This silence is just dreadful, wouldn’t you agree? Would you mind if I turned on the radio?”

“Yeah, I wouldn- wait!”

Too late. She had already turned on the stereo. Marcus’s iPod had been plugged in and was playing one of his favorite songs.
Cause I love to make you smile, smile, smile! It fills my heart with sunshi-

Marcus had quickly unplugged his iPod and turned a shade of red that would make a Coke can green with envy. He let out a sigh and continued to drive.

“Go ahead, laugh all you want, not like I haven’t been laughed at before...”

“Marcus, I... I don’t....”

Rarity stared with her mouth slightly open. He just sat there and looked ahead. Silence reigned for several more minutes until the radio crackled to life and soft country music began to play.

“Marcus.... What was that...?”

Marcus let out another sigh. “Yes, I’m a brony. I like the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Guess you’re going to never speak to me again.”

“It’s not that, it’s just...” Rarity paused for a moment, searching for the right words. “Very surprising, to say the least...”

“Why ya say that?”
Rarity shuffled uncomfortably in her seat. “Well... It’s complicated...”

Neither of them spoke until they approached the fairly large condo nestled in a grove hidden by the trees.

“Home sweet home.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus nearly flung the door open and dropped his truck keys into the wicker basket by the door. He called out to the rest of the building.

“Hey guys, what was for dinner? I’m friggin’ starved!”

There was no immediate response. Marcus opened his mouth to say something else, but was cut off by two high-pitched screams from Kyle’s room.

“OH FUCK! I FUCKING HATE DOGS!” Marcus recognized Kyle’s voice and shook his head at his friend’s outbursts.

“Um... Is he OK?” Rarity’s voice was quivering slightly out of concern.

“He’s fine, he’s just playing a game.” Marcus walked into the kitchen and began to rummage through the fridge. He stopped his search for a moment and raised an eyebrow.

“Is something burning? I’m pretty sure I smell something burning.” Marcus raised his head, and sniffed the air a few times, before looking at the oven. “Why did they put coal in the oven?”

“Did someone say my name?” Coal asked as he came into the kitchen.

“What? No, I...” Marcus’s hand met his face, he walked over to the oven and turned it off. “Hi Coal, what’ya up to?”

“Not much.” Coal shrugged. “I’m just getting ready to make everyone something to eat-”

Another pair of screams emanated from Kyle’s room, and the owner of said room yelled out again. “What the FLYING FUCK is that?!”

“IT LOOKS LIKE A GIANT WORM!” A more girly voice, presumably Robin’s, nobody could be sure.

“WHY THE HELL WOULD THERE BE A GIANT WORM IN AN ABANDONED MINE IN GREENLAND?!” Okay, THAT was Kyle.

Ben popped his head in the kitchen. “THEY’RE SINKING CITIES WITH A GIANT WORM!” A loud laugh could be heard from Kasper out on the balcony.

Marcus shook his head. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be out in the garden...” He turned on his heels, and headed out, not wanting a migraine from the madness.

Ben stepped into the kitchen with a brown bottle that was titled ‘Discordant Tastes’. He cocked a thumb behind him. “Welp, I gave Laura some of my brews. She got a bit buzzed and passed out, she’ll probably be out for the rest of the night.” He took a swig from the unappetizing-colored liquid.

“DEAR SWEET JESUS I NEED TO RUN THROUGH ACID AND CLOSE DOORS AND SMASH BARRIERS- HOLY SHIT STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” After Kyle’s incessant screaming, a loud roar was heard. Kyle had his speakers turned up. Again.

“How is that...” Robin paused. “Thing even real?!”

“I have NO IDEA.”

Ben looked down at his bottle as it lowered from his lips. “Oh Kyle, you so silly-”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Kyle cut off Ben mid-sentence. Ben looked up the hall, and his eyebrows low- “HOLY GOD DAMN!”

“Looks like I’m going to go visit someone up the hall. I don’t even know how he interrupted the narra-”

“SWEET JESUS MOTHER O’ GOD!” Ben took the bottle and stoppered it as he walked up the hall to Kyle’s room. He almost got knocked over by another shout, so he just turned back into the kitchen.

“So... New girl...” Ben trailed off, not knowing what to say after Kyle’s outbursts.

“Victoria. And you are?”

“Ben. Nice to meet you.” They shook hands, and Ryan walked into the kitchen. When he noticed Rarity, he seemed to adjust himself for a second, and looked her over.

“Oh. You must be the girl who was with Marcus. My name’s Ryan, pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He shook her hand. “You said your name’s Victoria, right?”

“Right...” She seemed surprised. “A-And you are?”

“Ryan.” He cocked his eyebrow. “Are you alright? You seem a little nervous.”

“Oh!” She cleared her throat, and straightened herself a bit. “Sorry, I’m just overwhelmed. So many people in one place, you know how it is.”

“Yeah, I understand. Moving from Ireland to here yielded the same results for me. Not everyday you cross the ocean and stay with eight other people, you know?”

Rarity smiled, and opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by another pair of screams. “OH DEAR LORD! KILL IT WITH FIRE- Oh. I did. YAY!”

Robin shouted in praise. “Yeah!”

“... Is it always like this?” Rarity tilted her head, and stuck her lower lip out.

Ryan shrugged. “You get used to it... Hold on...” Ryan contemplated for a moment, but shook his head. “Never mind. Hey, do you need a room? I’d be glad to give you my bed.”

“That’s very kind of you, Ryan.” She smiled warmly, before Ryan moved both arms, pointing them down the nearby hall.

“After you m’lady.” He said in an extremely posh accent, making Rarity giggle slightly before walking down the hall, Ryan in tow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus stepped out into the garden taking a deep breath of fresh air. He looked over the various flowers and plants, a small smile forming on his face.

“Finally, somewhere in this place that ISN’T complete madness.”

He continued his peaceful stroll through the quiet garden, stopping to admire the colorful flowers every so often. He walked for a while until finding one of the stone benches scattered throughout. He took a seat and looked up at the dark night sky, enjoying the moon’s soft glow.

His relaxation was interrupted as the sound of glass shattering could be heard from inside the house. More specifically, Kyle’s speakers.

“Ugh, I need to get further away...”

He stood and stretched his legs a little before walking again. The further he went, the quieter the noise from the house became. He soon left the garden itself and stopped at the edge of the forest. Marcus found a tree with low hanging branches that he could easily climb. He did so and sat with one leg dangling off the side.

“Much better...”

He got comfortable on the branch and continued to stare into the almost black sky. He could hear nothing from the house, only the tranquil sounds of nature. Something seemed out of place, though, something that shouldn’t be there. He looked around and saw a young woman walking at the edge of the forest. She was saying something, but Marcus couldn’t hear what. He watched her and recognised her as Flora. He jumped down and walked up to her.

“Hey there, Flora, wasn’t it?”

She jumped at his sudden appearance from the tree and tried to hide behind her hair. “Um.. Y-Yes. You’re Marcus... Right?”

“Yup.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Come out here to get away from the lunatics?”

“Yeah...” She shrunk a little bit. “They’re all too loud...”

“Tell me about it. Try having to deal with them and trying to sleep.” He rolled his eyes, remembering sleepless nights from Kyle’s Amnesia binges, and the maniacal laughter from Kasper as a result. “So, Flora, eh? Guess it isn’t a coincidence to find you out in the garden.”

“I-I guess not... I quite enjoy nature...” A small smile snuck onto her face. “Most of the time I just sit and enjoy the plants and animals...”

“Yeah, well, not much aside from birds and squirrels out here.” Marcus looked towards the thick tangle of trees. “You can find the occasional wolf in the forest but... We try not to go in there too much. We call it the Everfree.” Marcus smiled, remembering where the name came from.

Fluttershy let out a little gasp and turned away from Marcus a little.

“Hey, you alright?”

“I-I’m fine... It’s just...” Her eyes flicked back and forth as she tried to think of something to say. “Cold... Yeah, it’s a little chilly...”

“Well, we can head back inside, sound good?”

“Y-Yeah...”

“Hey, you got a place to stay while you’re here? If not, you can take my bed, I’m comfortable on the floor.” He shrugged to emphasize the fact.

Fluttershy smiled and nodded slightly. “Th-Thank you, Marcus... That’s really sweet of you...”

“Nah, can’t stand to see a woman without a comfortable bed to sleep in. A guy can get comfortable anywhere. Hell, I could sleep in the tree if I had a mind to! Anyways, come on, let’s get back inside before one of us gets sick.” Marcus started walking back through the garden, Fluttershy following close behind.

He opened the door for his pink-haired friend and waited for her to walk through before following suit.

Marcus looked around for a minute then asked to no one in particular, “Hey, has anyone seen Kasper?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kasper and Vinyl sat on the balcony, shivering. Someone had locked the door, not noticing the two outside. That someone was Isaac, who was lost in his thoughts when he took it upon himself to lock everything up.

“T-They f-forgot about us, d-didn’t they, K-Kasper?” Vinyl was shaking so badly, her glasses kept trying to slide off of her head.

Kasper tried to nod, but he could barely move. “Y-Y-Yup.”

“Th-That ain’t cool, man...”

Kasper chuckled a bit. “It’s a-alright... W-We’ll get them b-back... S-Somehow...” He started rubbing his shoulders. “Oh GOD it’s FREEZING out here!”