Fallout Equestria: The Ballad of Emostar Ravenclaw

by FamousLastWords

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Romance, Tragedy, Adventure
Length: 1048

Emostar Ravenclaw was the most hardcore alicorn ever, and he saves the world.

Emostar Ravenclaw is the most awesome alicorn ever. Read on as he saves Equestria from the oppressive terrors of bad stuff and gets some (wink wink, nudge nudge) action with every mare in the land.

Plz like and fave - I work super hard on dis masterpiece.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-17 02:40:05 UTC

Chapter 1: The Destiny Foretold

It was a beautiful day in the land of Equestria. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and everyone was having a wonderful day.

Except for Celestia and Twilight and Cadence and Rarity and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy and Trixie and whoever else you might have as your waifu kuz they were all getting banged by an alicorn.

A depressed alicorn.

A depressed red and black alicorn.

A depressed red and black alicorn with attitude.

A depressed red and black alicorn with attitude named Emostar Ravenclaw.

He was depressed all the time because he was too powerful and everyone hated him, yet he could have sex with any mare he wanted.

He was just that badass.

In fact, he was so badass, he could use #hashtags on Facebook and nopony cared.

And his cutie mark was the grim reaper riding a T-Rex through a black hole while gunning down a horde of zombies with two unlawfully large guns.

Yeah… that badass.

He had just finished banging your waifu whenever he hopped off and said "I'm gonna go save the world from the oppressive terror of mecha ponies and changelings that haunt this Fallout universe."

"But my body is waiting for you," your waifu said with an extremely orgasmic tone. "I want all five of your horns in me right now."

Emostar had five horns. One for each of the princesses that gave him a blowjob.

"Sorry, but I'm an alicorn, and I've got some wish-fulfilling to do."

With that he took off faster than Rainbow Dash and found an army of changelings and stuff to destroy.

"Oh look, here comes the self-insert," the bad guy leader said.

"PSH, I inserted myself into yo mama last night," Emostar replied.

With that he used his extreme powerful magic to destroy every bad guy, regardless of the consequences it would have.

Seeing how his work was done, he walked back home to Ponyville, where Spike was getting laid by every made and Celestia was in the kitchen making a sandwich for him.

Life was good, but he was depressed so he began to promptly whine and complain about everything wrong. Mainly about how he had a hankering for some waifu behind.

Then Pinkie Pie came in and started murdering every one. She was violent like that.

Then Emostar decided to check the comments on his latest Facebook post, and people were saying he sucked and stuff so he deleted all their comments because it made him feel awesome.

Then, because he was all angsty and stuff, he posted a new blog post:

Why you hate storiesth that are mine, kuz you don’t like them, but they’re good. I thought love tolearnce was here but wrong so I hate you all, read my story dammit kuz it’s better than yours, you all suckk so leave me alone nobody likes you kuz i’m perfect and I don’t need to take yor honest opinions about me to heart because i don’t need to improve heck yeah, blah blah blah baddass whoo!

He then went outside to get some booty, and found a random mare. “Hey, you. Let’s have sex.”

“Umm, no thank you,” said Bon Bon, the mare he was talking to. “I’m not really into stallions. However, it’s my personal choice and I mean no disrespect to anyone else’s personal opinions, just as they should respect mine.” The purple and pink maned, cream colored candy shop owner smiled because she was a nice and productive member of society like everyone else.

“Psh, you need a reality check! Everyone knows lesbians are a nasty product of evil!” Emostar said, asserting his opinion in an offensive and mean and rude and unkind manner that benefited absolutely no one.

He then walked on, asserting his awesomeness until he came across Flash Sentry, who was having sex with Twilight in someone else’s story, so he left them alone. There was nothing wrong with that.

Chapter 2: More Sex and Filler

Chapter 2 : More Sex and Filler

Emostar was having a buttload of sex, if you know what I mean.

“That’s right my n1gg3rs,” he said, using an offensive term made even more offensive by the gratuitous use of numbers in the word. Emostart liked to make sure evry sentence had at least 3 mathematical equations in it.

He Was quickly running out of things to do, so he decided to transform into a lonely teenager from Earth who wanted nothign more than to be loved by cartoon characters and stuff.

He was instantly surrounded by all the mares, who once again felth the need to have dirty nasty and unparralled sex with him. It was so nasty and crazy and unnappealing, it could’ve been mistaken for a fanfiction work.

Just when things couldn’t get any more crazy, Celestia decided it was high time to make this dude king of everything, because he was so powerful and nobody cared about his flaws or anything like that, so he would make the perfect king.  So he would justly rule over everyone and asserty his awesomeness.

But then it happened. Oh yeah, that's right, it happened.

A plot twist came around that made Emostar discover that all of his memories of being a human and stuff before he was alive were purged somehow, and Celestia had been hiding the truth from him this entire time he'd been alive which was really not cool, but it was totally in character for her to do that because I said so.

"Hey Celestia, why'd you do that. Why'd you supress my pre-pony memories."

"I did it to protect you..."

"Protect me from what?"

"From the forbidden knowledge," the white alicorn princess replied.

"What forbidden knowledge?"

"The forbidden knowledge that you are actually a reincarnated version of Nightmare Moon, and your destiny was to destroy the world. I was afraid if you found out, you would carry through with this awful mission"

With new knowledge of his destiny in hoof, Emostar decided there was one thing to do.

He went and destroyed the world, proving Celestia's fears to be a harsh reality.

Then sexual intercourse happened. A lot of sexual intercourse. A buttload of sexual intercourse involving an OC and all of your waifus. Word!

The End