WHY ARE YOU HERE PRIVATE FLASH SENTRY?!
*A set up similar to the Army-Strong Commercials where the sergeant asks each soldier why they are in the army.*
--Our story begins some time between the events of the "Crystal Empire" and "Equestria Girls" --
It was a bright sunny morning in the Crystal Empire, Prince Shining Armor stood outside of the Crystal Palace adorned in the armor of a Captain of the Royal Guard because today he would be meeting the new recruits for the Crystal Empire's royal guard. Due to a lack of crystal ponies willing to sign up to defend the empire, Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor began to look to bordering cities and towns outside of the empire for ponies willing to sign up for the cause. As Shining Armor walked to the training grounds he saw a grand column of several dozen fresh new recruits. A crystal pony guard stood in front of him and handed him a list of the new enlistees. Shining Armor glanced over the names of each pony and where they came from. All of these ponies came from from various towns across Equestria including Ponyville, Trottingham, Las Pegasus, Manehatten, and Appleoosa. As Prince of the Crystal Empire and the head of its royal guard it was his duty to train and lead these new recruits.
As he moved up and down the line he decided to use his favorite method of meeting the new recruits that he picked up long ago from his days in the Canterlot Royal Guard. Memorizing the names of each pony from the enlistment lists Shining Armor decided that he would march down the line of ponies and randomly ask each of them in a loud intimidating tone, why they were here.
His first target was a tall blue unicorn stallion with deep red eyes and a short black mane by the name of Swift Blade.
“WHY ARE YOU HERE PRIVATE SWIFT BLADE!?!?!” Shining yelled straight in his face.
“SIR! TO KILL SIR!” Swift-Blade responded in a loud clear voice.
In response to this Shining Armor nodded in approval with a satisfied grinned. Next, Shining marched a few ponies down the line and came up to slim black earth pony stallion with a white and red streaked mane by the name of Butcher Knife.
“WHY ARE YOU HERE PRIVATE BUTCHER KNIFE?!?!” Shining yelled in the same tone as before.
“SIR TO PROTECT THE PRINCESSES SIR!!” Butcher-Blade responded, receiving a pleased nod from Shining Armor.
Shining Armor continued and then approached the next pony in line, who was a grey pegasus with a sharp brown mane named Dive Bomber.
"WHY ARE YOU HERE PRIVATE DIVE BOMBER?!?!" Shining yelled.
"SIR TO PROTECT THE KINGDOM OF EQUESTRIA SIR!!!" Dive Bomber asserted with the same loud confident tone as the past two ponies, eliciting the same nod from Shining Armor.
Then Shining Armor approached an orange pegasus with a blue mane by the name of Flash Sentry.
“WHY ARE YOU HERE PRIVATE FLASH SENTRY!!?!?!!?!” Shining yelled, louder than before
“SIR TO BANG YOUR SISTER SIR!!!” Flash said mimicking the heavy disciplined tone of the others.
Hearing his response, Shining Armor’s face went blank in confusion and shock, then after a few moments of putting the pieces together in his head, Flash realized what he just said and then bit his lip while his face turned bright red in embarrassment.
Next thing he knew, Shining was in a violent state of rage, in response, Flash took off as fast as his wings could take him. For the next few minutes Flash flew through the streets of the Crystal Empire, all the while an enraged Shining Armor was chasing him violently shooting laser beams at him trying to roast his orange flank.
I AM GOING TO BUCKING KILL YOU FLASH!!! YOUR FLANK IS MINE!!!" Shining Armor shouted still firing lasers at Flash. Shining Armor was pissed, and he wanted to blast this bucker into ashes.
“OH BUCK OH BUCK OH BUCK OH BUCK OH BUCK OH BUCK OH BUCK OH BUCK OH BUCK!!! WHY THE BUCK DID I SAY THAT?” Flash said to himself as he kept flying for dear life. "HOW DO I KEEP GETTING MYSELF INTO THESE MESSES?!?!?!" Flash continued to fly almost reaching the outskirts of the city. Flash could see the magic shield drawing closer. "Okay all I gotta do is cross that barrier and I will be home-free.... *BLAST* AAAARRRGHHHHH!!!!"
All of a sudden a blast of Shining Armor's magic struck Flash in the wing and the poor pegasus pony began to plummet to the ground.
Suddenly everything went black as Flash hit the ground .
“AAHHH NO!” Flash screamed as he awoke in his bed covered in sweat. Flash quickly looked around for a few moments then took a deep breath, “Jeez, that has to have been the worst Shining Armor-related dream this week. Dear sweet Celestia what’s wrong with me?” Flash said to himself. He then shrugged wiped the sweat from his forehead, layer back down, and went back to sleep.
Meanwhile Princess Luna stood outside Flash’s window laughing, “Oh dear Flash Sentry, you make this far too easy. This is too much fun.” Luna said still giggling as she flew off into her night. Ever since she returned to Equestria, and returned to visiting ponies in their dreams, she found it the perfect opportunity to pull off some pranks and hijinks using whatever crazy things occur the imaginations of her subjects for fun. Since Princess Celestia could see through her antics as soon as her dreams began, Princess Luna found the dreams of other ponies far more enjoyable, and ever since she came across Flash Sentry she found a new perfect go-to spot to pull off her pranks.
The End, (I apologize if this went on for too long in certain places, especially in the end, but I needed to reach the one-thousand word quota for my fiction)
Author's Note
I was Skype-ing with some friends and I had that "Go-Army" commercial running in my head, and a few keystrokes later I made this fan fiction.
I'm actually a huge fan of Flash Sentry (he's my second favorite stallion next to Soarin') but he is just really easy to pick on. So I couldn't help myself.
Anywho this is my first MLP fan fiction to date. Feel free to comment and tell me what you think.
