Twilight Sparkle Pierces The Heavens
Twilight Sparkle sighed, then looked towards Rainbow Dash. “Ready?”
Rainbow Dash nodded, a gleam in her eye and a smile on her face. “Ready!” With that, they both spread their wings and took off.
Rainbow Dash had been giving Twilight flight training for the past several months and today was, in a sense, her final exam. Twilight Sparkle loved exams. Therefore, she was giving it her all in today’s race against Rainbow Dash. The plan was to fly as high as they could, then dive, fly over the Ponyville Dam, and land in front of Twilight’s new castle. But first they had to make the climb. And they did so with gusto.
Twilight could feel the wind blowing through her mane and her eyes tearing up from the sheer force of the acceleration as she rose higher in the air. Faster and faster she ascended as the air rolled over her wings, Ponyville shrinking under her. Finally at the top of her ascent—
—she suddenly stopped as she felt...something ripple on her head. Confused, she looked up to find that her horn was somehow stuck in nothing. She quickly grew worried.
“Uh...Rainbow?” she yelled.
Rainbow Dash sliced through the air and turned back to face Twilight, a look of utter confusion growing on her face.
“Twi?” she asked.
Twilight looked up at Rainbow Dash. “Yeah?”
Rainbow Dash scratched her head. “Your, uh, horn’s stuck in the sky.”
Twilight rolled her eyes and crossed her forelegs. “I’m aware.”
Rainbow Dash blinked. “Did...you know this was going to happen?”
Twilight groaned in frustration. “Do you really think I would have engaged in this activity if I knew this was going to happen?”
Rainbow Dash tittered. “Uh, yeah, good point.” Rainbow Dash then looked down, rubbing her chin as her wings flapped. “Do you think you can wiggle yourself out?”
“Hmmm…” Twilight vocalized. She then wriggled her body every which way, but due to having no surface to ground herself on, she just flailed helplessly in the air. Twilight grunted. “Rainbow, get over here.”
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
Twilight pressed her eyes shut, then opened them. “I need you to pull me out of the...sky.”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Okay,” she said as she flew down to Twilight’s dangling body and grabbed it. She then flapped with all of her might as she tried to yank Twilight out of the air, a look of determined concentration on her face.
Twilight winced as she felt the sky-hole tugging against her horn. “Rainbow, I don’t think it’s—”
“—no, I totes got it—”
“—totes is not a word—”
“—whatevs.”
Twilight buried her face in her hoof as the strain against her horn increased. “Neither is whatevs. Look, just stop pulling on me. I think I’m wedged in too tightly.”
“You sure? Because I think I—”
“—Rainbow Dash, you’re hurting me!”
Rainbow Dash let go as her expression softened. “Okay...so, you want me to get help?”
“Yes,” Twilight said through gritted teeth, “that would be great.”
Rainbow Dash smiled and saluted Twilight. “Alright, I’m on it! You can count on me,” she shouted as she shot down towards Ponyville, performing a Sonic Rainboom in the process. Twilight sighed as she multiplied fractions in her head to pass the time.
An hour later, she heard the flapping of wings that revealed itself to be Princess Celestia, whose mouth was slightly curved down. Twilight grinned widely at the sight of her former mentor.
“Princess Celestia! It’s so great to see you! So, you see, I was flying with Rainbow Dash and this happened,” she said as she pointed to the hole in the sky where her horn was.
Princess Celestia nodded mutely. “I see you’ve tengen toppa’ed.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Tengen toppa’ed?”
Princess Celestia nodded again. “Yes, tengen toppa’ed.”
Twilight blinked. “What’s tengen toppa’ed?”
Princess Celestia looked down and sighed. “It’s an ancient phrase that roughly translates to ‘pierce the heavens’,” she said. She then looked up to face Twilight. “Congratulations, Twilight, you have pierced the heavens.”
Twilight grunted. “Thanks. I guess I’m not the first alicorn to do this, then?”
Princess Celestia smiled as she shook her head. “Once again, nothing escapes you, Twilight. You see, Luna was the first to—”
“—so Twilight did tengen toppa,” the voice of Princess Luna said as it approached, accompanied by the flapping of wings.
“Speak of the devil,” Celestia said as she turned to face her sister, “yes, it appears that Twilight has tengen toppa’ed.”
Princess Luna looked at Twilight and rubbed her chin, her wings keeping her aflight. “Remember when I tengen toppa’ed?”
Princess Celestia nodded. “Indeed I do.”
Twilight groaned. “That’s great. Now can either of you get me out of here? My magic doesn’t seem to be working.” Princesses Celestia and Luna turned to face the suspended princess.
Celestia hummed. “I’m afraid not.”
Twilight’s eyes popped open. “What!?”
Luna sighed. “Well, when I tengen toppa’ed, my sister pulled me out. And let’s just say,” Luna said as she shivered, “things got a bit chaotic.”
Almost as if on cue, Discord popped into existence behind the two alicorn princesses currently facing the alicorn princess stuck in the sky and grinned widely. “Is somepony playing my song?”
All three princesses groaned. “We were just talking about how you entered this world, Discord,” Celestia said.
Discord chuckled. “Ah, yes, when Princess Luna tengen toppa’ed,” he said as he peered at the sky-hole, “seems smaller than I remember, though. Maybe with a little prying though—”
“—NO!” Princesses Celestia and Luna shouted simultaneously as they lassoed Discord’s arm in their magic.
Discord sighed and pulled his arm away. “Uhhh, fine. You filles never let me have any fun…”
Celestia turned her head to glare at Discord. “Not when your idea of fun involves ripping open a portal to who-knows-where.”
Discord pouted and widened his eyes. “But I’ve always wanted to play with a tengen toppa!”
Celestia shook her head. “No, Discord, you cannot play with the tengen toppa.”
Discord frowned, crossed his arms, and lounged back in the sky. “Meaniepants.”
“Oooooh! Is this the tengen toppa?” Cadance’s voice said as she joined the fray.
“Yes, this is the tengen toppa,” Luna said disinterestedly, “and hello, Cadance.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “How did Cadance hear about this?”
Celestia grinned. “I told her,” she said warmly, “I thought she might like to witness the tengen toppa from an outside perspective.”
Cadance flew in and hugged Twilight. “It’s so nice to see you, sister-in-law!” she said as she tightened her grip. She then pulled away and examined the sky-hole for herself. “Hmmm...I clearly remember mine being bigger.”
Twilight blinked. “You tengen toppa’ed too, Cadance?”
Cadance nodded with a grin on her face. “Yes! You see, we had to wait for the hole to close up naturally—Celestia did research on it and everything—and she brought up food to me every day and hooked me up to a catheter and a colostomy bag!”
Twilight’s eyes popped open. “Okay, I am not wearing a colostomy bag!”
Discord leaned in to face Twilight eye to eye wearing a cruel smile. “And I’m sure your loyal subjects would just love the presents that you would bequeath them with if you didn’t.”
Twilight facehooved and groaned. “Fine.”
Discord laughed. “Oh, joy!” he said as he snapped his fingers, causing a catheter and colostomy bag to appear and equip themselves to Twilight, watching her with glee as she winced in discomfort. “Feel better, Princess?”
Twilight frowned. “Not really, no,” she said. “Now, how long will I be up here?”
Celestia turned to face Discord. “Discord, check the tensile strength of the tengen toppa.”
Discord nodded and poked at the sky-hole with a talon. “Hmmm...I’d say she’s got about a month up here.”
Twilight’s jaw dropped. “A month?”
Discord glared at Twilight. “Did I stutter?”
Twilight looked down. “...no.”
Discord grinned from ear to ear. “Great! See you in a month!” he said as he snapped his talons and disappeared.
Celestia turned to face Twilight. “Okay, we’ll arrange for Rainbow Dash to bring food up to you every day.”
“That sounds fine, Princess Celestia,” Twilight said.
Celestia smiled. “Great! See you in a month!” she said as she took wing as flew away.
Luna smirked. “Enjoy your stay. It promises to be far less chaotic than mine,” she said as she herself took wing and flew away.
Cadance hugged Twilight once more. “Stay strong, Twilight. You can do this.”
Twilight grunted. “I’m sure I can just hang around just fine.”
Cadance smiled. “That’s the spirit!” she said as she flew away.
A bluebird flew by, landed on Twilight’s shoulder, and sung a melodious tune. Twilight rolled her eyes. “Zip-a-dee-doo-dah to you, too.”
