Conniving Draconequus

by Gleaming

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Princess Celestia
Length: 2180

Discord is looking for excitement, so he attempts to create his own fun.

Discord has been feeling bored over these past days just waiting for some excitement to knock on his door, what better to have some fun than to prank Princess Celestia. He thinks of a perfect way to get back at her for turning him to stone, strip Celestia of her wings and horn.

This story is a request from 2006midnight.

Proofread by DiamondBurritos

Published 2014-07-20 17:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-20 17:10:01 UTC

Horn and Wings

Horn and Wings

Boredom, the word alone can bring a pony to do strange things or result in resorting to other ways of extracting the word from their memory, Discord is rarely bored but today he can't find an ounce of excitement. The draconequus snapped his claw as the grass hedges transformed into his own image, he laughed at his work of art. He stroked his beard, thinking on how to make the hedges even more astonishing, Discord snapped his paw and the hedges held glasses of chocolate milk.

In a flash of light, Discord appeared in the private chambers of Princess Celestia where she stayed concentrated on her game of chess. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she moved the white queen up one spot on the chess board when Discord wrapped his serpent-like body around the solar monarch.

''Discord! What are you doing here?'' Celestia asked, she aimed her horn at Discord as sparks flew from her horn.

''I was having a bit of boring fun in the gardens, you should see the work of art I made,'' Discord snapped his claw, an arrow pointed directly at the Canterlot Castle Gardens, Celestia looked at the scene before her and narrowed her eyes at Discord. She snarled at the mischievous creature and stomped her hoof down in anger, Discord's arrow disappeared as he stopped his antics.

''Oh I can see that, I want you to change them back right now!'' Celestia demanded, she raised her voice at Discord.

''And why should I?'' Discord questioned, he stuck his tongue at the sun goddess.

Celestia thought to herself for a moment. I know I don't want to punish him, but something has to be done.

Coming to a decision, Celestia raised her hoof dismissively and said, ''Discord, all I wanted was a peaceful, normal day without anything that would interrupt my quality time alone. Since you're trying to annoy me, you're forbidden to be near the Canterlot Castle.'' she said firmly, transporting Discord away from the castle.

Discord crossed his arms and huffed under his breath. He floated around the castle grounds, keeping himself out of site as Celestia went on her bed and sat on her haunches to levitate her book up to her. ''I'll find a way to get back at her in the only way I know how, a very devious, comedic prank.''

The Spirit of Disharmony and Chaos snapped his claw, vanishing in a bright, white flash of light.

The sun goddess walked out of her private chambers and went to attend another Day Court Session, where she had to listen to the trivial, idiotic complaints that most of the stuck-up Canterlot elites conjured up just to spite her. She trotted down the stairs of the castle, where two of her Royal Guards were waiting for her. She continued walking to the front doors of the court with the guards in tow, until a pink cloud hovers above her head and bathed her mane in chocolate rain. Her once multicolored mane, was now drenched in the chocolate downpour while the guards fled for the court doors.

''Discord, I had a feeling that you would return. But I thought I told you to leave?'' Celestia stated furiously, her mane lit up like a match and flames flickered around as the heat from her mane ignited.

''Silly Celestia, you know me so well that I don't leave well enough alone,'' Discord conjured a glass of water, he splashed the water around her face and mane, ''So think of this as payback, I'll be taking your wings and horn now.''

''Hold on a sec-'' Discord cut her off, he pressed his paw against her lips, taking her wings and horn.

''The deal is that you must last your little court session without flying or using your magic, or I'll be using these to make a statue in my honor.'' Discord proclaimed, he snapped his claw and vanished.

Celestia held her head up high confidently and walked to the front doors of her court, before Discord returned once again. ''I almost forgot if you can't last the court session, I get to use hypnosis on you for an entire week.'' He rubbed his appendages together menacingly and gave her a devilish smile, vanishing once again from her.

She had to deal with Discord and the complaints from business ponies and other Canterlot citizens, this was going to be a long day. Two Royal Guards stood at each end of the doors, waiting for their ruler to let them know when to let the first group of petitioners in. Celestia waved the tip of her golden hoof guard at the guards, telling them to open the doors.

Celestia grabbed two pillows from her throne, she covered her head and her sides to avoid suspicion. ''May the day court commence,'' the guards swung the front doors open, petitioners filled the room until every single petitioner was present.

The court was decorated with white walls, golden trims and archways, and the long red carpets gave the court a majestic look as well as a safe sense of security. Both courts, the Day Court and the Night Court, go through a rotation where Celestia's court is decorated in her own likeness as well as Luna's likeness. All petitioners lined up in a single file line, ready to give their complaints and cases.

One of the petitioners stepped forward, a mare with a long grey mane and yellow eyes bowed before the princess. ''Your majesty, I have a complaint that I must address to you.''

''Proceed, ma'am.'' Celestia said calmly.

She took out a stack of papers and placed them in a pile. ''These documents are from the Canterlot Board of Education, the reason we've all assembled here is because though for a city rich in history as the capital of Equestria and beyond, our schools require more funding to keep them active and open for the public.''

Celestia read the document aloud:

Dear Princess Celestia,

It has come to our attention that Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns' federal budget has been declining over the past few years. With the admission of new students to the school and providing the materials by purchasing said materials with their own money, without an emergency fund. We ask that you raise the taxes, so that the schools can retain their money to avoid an economic decline.

Sincerely,

The Canterlot Board of Education

The co-ruler of Equestria answered the mare's complaint. ''We've been aware of this issue in the past on setting up an emergency fund for schools, hospitals, and roads. Our royal board will review all of your cases and complaints, you will hear an answer in 4-6 days. Thank you for informing me about your complaints.''

''Thank you so much, your majesty.'' the mare bowed again and walked out of the court.

''Now, are there anymore complaints before we bring this court to a close for today?'' Celestia asked, surveying the courtroom for any hoof that would be raised. ''Court dismissed.''

Celestia watched as her sun's golden glow slowly disappeared from sight, only to be replaced by Luna's moon and stars sparkling in the dark indigo sky. The moon's white light shone through Celestia's glass windows along with street lights down below on the streets of Canterlot, they beamed down on the cobblestone streets of the city. ''I'm glad that it's all over.''

''Not quite, my dear Celestia,'' Discord popped up behind Celestia, causing her to jump upwards and her head collided with the ceiling on her trip back down to the floor, ''You may have fulfilled that part of the deal, but I'm a draconequus of my word.''

Celestia's wings and horn returned on her body from the flash of light, her eyes looked up at Discord. Her gaze looked into his red misshaped pupils and his long, slender serpent-like body in awe without a single word escaping her mouth. She cleared her throat, thinking of the right words to say.

''Discord, after all of the trouble that you put me through, this is not what I expected from you.'' She stifled a laugh, running her golden hoof guard along Discord's chest, he winced from the sudden sting on his chest. He looked down at his brown chest, Celestia's hoof left a burning red mark on his chest. ''Consider that revenge for taking my horn and wings, let bygones be bygones.''

Celestia held out her hoof, Discord complied when he extended his paw out and shook her hoof. ''I'd best be off, Celestia.''

Before Celestia could come out with a response, Discord vanished.

''This day was just a sporadic turn of events, what could make things any worse?'' The sound of rumbling in her stomach alerted her that she was famished after a long day, so she walked out of her private chambers and made a beeline to the royal kitchen.

The solar princess swung the refrigerator door open with ease, she could care less about what was in the fridge at the moment. She grabbed a clear, white glass in which she would fill her glass with a drink that was worthy for a night like tonight, so she poured chocolate milk in the glass filled it up to the half-point of the glass. ''Now all I need is my-''

Celestia stopped for a second and looked around for a slice of chocolate cake, but was unsuccessful. On the refrigerator, she found a note regarding her chocolate delicacy.

Dear Princess Sunbutt,

You are probably wondering where your precious cake is right? Look out the window and you'll find out where the chocolate delicacy that adds more weight to your flank is located.

Chaos and Chocolate Rain,

Discord

Celestia walked outside of the kitchen to the outskirts of the palace where a slice of chocolate cake was floating in the night sky. Gracefully, she unfurled her long, white wings taking off after the chocolate confection which had her favorite topping on it, three ripe red cherries the way their Royal Chefs always made them. Her tongue traveled around the base of her mouth, licking around it trying not to think about the cake.

The cake was elevated up above the sky and past the shining stars in the sky, where Celestia noticed a fishing line protruding from the bottom of it. She yanked the line out of the cake, grabbed her delicious price where she licked her lips slowly and was planning to savor this moment. Something tugged on the other end of the fishing line where Discord was sitting on the moon, surprised to see that Celestia actually fell for the elaborate rouse.

''Looks like you fell for the old trick again, I'll spare you the details-'' Celestia clenched Discord by the chest and threw him down from the moon while he was plummeting back down to the ground. She popped the entire slice of chocolate cake in her mouth feeling the savory, sweet flavor on her tongue and in her mouth, laid down on the moon's white surface and kicked her hooves up nonchalantly.

''Serves him right.'' Celestia giggled, watching Discord hit the hard ground on impact. She knew that something like this would happen from Discord, that just goes to show you when you've known someone for a thousand years and know every trick in their book. But at least this time, you earned the prize of your favorite midnight snack.

Celestia made her way back down to the soft grass below, the grass hugged the bottom of her hooves. She laid next to Discord on the grass, reminded of something important. ''I wonder where Luna is.''

A glass chalice appeared in Discord's paw containing chocolate milk, the brown liquid filled the glass chalice up to the brim for Discord to enjoy every single drop of it. Celestia gawked at the draconequus suspiciously, wondering about the whereabouts of her sister if Discord is the one behind it all. Another object appearing out of thin air, a pair of binoculars laid on Celestia's belly for her to take a peek. ''Go ahead, look up at the moon.''

Her eyes looked through the lenses of the binoculars to locate her sister,  a dark indigo blur was seen on the moon. Watching the object from afar, she zoomed in on the object and noticed a crescent moon with dark smudges on the flank of said object. ''Discord, did you have anything to with this?''

''You're accusing me of something like this, I'm disgusted. Moi?'' A halo hovered above Discord's head, Celestia swatted at the halo with a newspaper. The golden halo flapped away from his head, flying away into the distance as Celestia growled at Discord annoying her to death. ''Okay, I did send Luna up there by taping her to the moon.''

''You're so lucky that I won't send you to live under the castle, we'll deal with this tomorrow.''

The End